#Now I've remembered I have Emotions(tm)

[fuckyeahisawthat]

So Denis Villeneuve has this particular type of close-up shot that he uses to varying degrees in all his movies but uses a lot in Dune, particularly when shooting Paul. In fact he uses one for the very first shot of Paul in Dune Part One.

There are some common cinematographic elements that define what I would consider the Villeneuve Close-Up (TM), but I'll admit there is also a vibes-based, you-know-it-when-you-see-it element to picking out these shots, which means all discussion here is somewhat subjective and we're talking about general trends instead of fixed categories. But in general, in these shots the camera tends to be at eye-level with the character, which means it can be very low or even on the ground if they are having a floor-based experience.

Sometimes we're in a SUPER extreme close-up where the character's face is filling the frame.

Other times we are not actually that close but we know we are seeing something that other characters are not.

The character may be alone or they may be surrounded by people, but the point of these shots is to reveal something to us the audience that no one else in the scene sees, pulling us into a private emotional world where it's just us and the character. It's a very effective tool for building sympathy and emotional intimacy.

I'm not the only person who's noticed that we lose this specific kind of close-up of Paul entirely in the section of the movie after Paul drinks the Water of Life. I've seen this described as "we're no longer seeing from Paul's POV" or even "he stops being the protagonist of the movie at that point" but I don't think either of these are exactly what's going on. Seeing the world of the story through a certain character's POV is different from what I'm talking about here, and Dune Part Two takes us through many shifts in POV over the course of the movie.

What happens is that we, the audience, recoil from our close, intimate visual and emotional relationship to Paul--or maybe he withdraws from us--for a portion of the movie after he drinks the Water of Life. But, crucially, not right away.

This shot in the "we're Harkonnens" conversation is such a classic Villeneuve Close-Up (TM). We're positioned as if we're sitting right next to Paul, seeing something on his face that is mostly hidden from Jessica, who's standing across the room and slightly behind him.

I think this shot is super important for telling us (even if we only register it subconsciously) that the Paul we know is not completely dead. Drinking the Water of Life may make you see things that others can't, and it may make you a little unhinged, but it doesn't make you inhuman. There's still a person in there.

I would argue that the distancing from Paul starts in these shots:

This is still a close-up; we are not much further away from Paul than in the shot above, but the vibe is totally different. Now we are seeing him the way his followers do, closed-off and purposefully intimidating. We are seeing the image he chooses to present to the world and none of the human vulnerability underneath.

We stay at this emotional and visual distance from him for most of the rest of the movie--but not the whole thing. Because after watching Paul be a terrifying force of destruction for half an hour, we get slammed into remembering he is a person--young, hurt, alone; a person who didn't want any of this--at the very end of the movie.

I think you could make an argument for a few different shots being the first Villeneuve Close-Up of the end of the movie. But where I always notice it is here, when the Emperor is talking about Leto.

While not a particularly close close-up, I'm always struck by this shot as well:

And then we really get pulled in close to Paul during the duel--particularly at the end of the duel when he's already wounded and it seems like he might lose. We get this angle several times:

We get this shot that I'm particularly feral about...

...because while the focus of this shot is (1) the knife and (2) Feyd, someone made sure that the features you notice on Paul's face are his eyelashes and the curls of hair falling in his face, the features that make him look most soft and vulnerable.

And then of course after Paul has won the duel we get this shot, another peak Villeneuve Close-Up (TM) that I have already written about, where Paul is surrounded by people chanting his name but no one to pull the knife out of his shoulder for him.

And we hold onto that connection with Paul right up through "Lead them to paradise."

Which is an insane choice for that moment actually! Once again, this is not a super close close-up, but we're watching him from a perspective that no other character can see and we understand that there's no personal triumph in this moment for him.

Now, obviously, there are a lot of other choices being made in these scenes, in terms of writing, performance, lighting, score, everything. The camera placement is just one element supporting the overall storytelling. But it's one that's very easy to track through screenshots and a good example of how one specific element of filmmaking can be used to influence how we see a character, whether or not we even consciously notice it while immersed in the film.

[oh-no-its-bird]

recently, i've started to see things where tobirama is reincarnated as sakura or is sakura's "inner", which is really interesting. could i get your take on this?

Unfortunatley I don't actually know much ab Sakura's inner! I learned naruto lore via fanfiction (never actually touched any canon media, oops) and have only actually read like 3 Sakura centric ones, I straight up didn't even know Sakura had a multiple personality(?) thing going for her till a few months ago (and boy wasn't that a surprise)

I think Tobirama being reincarnated as her could be p fun!! But also I think I'd be more interested in telling a story where he just straight up reincarnated as someone not existing in canon, if only bc then he could also interact WITH Sakura instead of just being her

I find that a lot of stories that try to give Sakura agency just kind of toss her entire character out the window and start from scratch, which is fun and valid! But it's more fun for me to make direct, uncomfortable eyecontact w canon her and find increasingly stupid or chaotic ways to fast track that whole "character development" thing or at least find ways to explain why she's Like That(tm)

So yeah I don't have toooo much interest in Tobirama reincarnating as specifically Sakura or her inner, but I could be into a story where he just reincarnates in proximity to her and then see how they bounce off of eachother. Maybe as a sibling? That could be cool

If he's born a girl we can zap em with the trans beam on top of the body dismorphia of suddenly being a whole child, that could be interesting. The blatant sexism of naruto canon could also make for an interesting plotline if we want to actually get into that

I kind of like the idea of him not actually remembering his previous life, at least not in full. Maybe he has weird dreams sometimes, maybe he looks at photos of the Nidaime and gets weird feelings of dejavu.

I suddenly have a very specific mental image of him getting a scar on his cheek, where one of his tattoos used to be, and just staring in a mirror afterwards at this super weird feeling of dejavu mixed w a sensation of it not being right mixed w just general body dismorphia and aw fuck why does he feel like he's both a little more right and further from himself than he's ever been?

Anyways would he be born younger or older than Sakura? Older brother him is just super overprotective, often suffering from nightmares of sensing as Sakura and some unnamed "other sibling" of his dies. It could also mean he can interact with Itachi actually, maybe they can be emotionally stunted baby genius friends or smthn

But younger sibling him could make for a surprisingly compelling parallel with Sakura and Hashirama! Especially w how Sakura later goes on to train with Tsunade n stuff

Part of me wants to say he's still names Tobirama for simplicitys sake, he can just be named after the Nidaime or smthn. But also that feels a bit cheap even if it is easier, so at least for now we'll name him Tora

Him and cat Tora can square off for name rights idk

Tora speaking oddly formally for a civilian, and having the kind of respect for your elders that come from being a second son in an elder run clan in ancient Japan. He has an awful time trying to form emotional attachments with people, including but especially his parents, who for some reason never really felt like his

But also him having a super easy time being attached to his new little sister Sakura, who he refuses to see anything bad happen to ever

So Tora and Sakura's parents being like suuper traditional, which is why Sakura is Like That when it comes to boys (she's constantly being told she needs to find a man to take care of her) Tora acts as a good figure and role model in her life, so while she's still interested in romance like canon she isn't AS boy crazy and can do a bit of thinking for herself.

And then we can get some fun conflict between Tora and his parents, who unfortunatley don't get the whole trans thing and constantly insist he needs to either drop the shinobi thing and find a husband, or if he does keep going at the shinobi thing, use it to find a husband there then drop it

Yeah he's not doing either of those things.

(they find out he's friends w the Uchiha clan heir and immediatley get weird about it, all glowing with pride that he's "attracting such good potential husbands" n stuff (Tora is PISSED))

Anyways Tora being just alarmingly good at literally any jutsu Tobirama invented. Like, ALARMINGLY good. He has that first life muscle memory, which unfortunatley is NOT a valid alibi and he's about to get his ass beat for seeming to have reverse engineered secret jutsus he shouldn't be able to know.

It isn't HIS fault that just glancing at the flying thunder god technique that one time was apparently enough for him to instinctively understand how to use it!!! Maybe this "Tobirama" guy should have just been better at making his jutsu harder to understand, this is clearly not his fault

He manages to help avoid the Uchiha massacre by being friends with Itachi, the two of them both graduating early and at the same ages, joining the same team and then ANBU together and so on.

Tora being really strong and graduating early and all that only further motivating Sakura to be a super strong shinobi, just like her big brother! Maybe she and Sasuke can even bond or have met earlier through Itachi and Tora's friendship.

Sakura and Sasuke childhood friends agreeing to try and graduate early together just like their older siblings. Not really into sasusaku but Ill say Sakura can keep her crush on him but be actually normal about it via exposure plus maybe some boy advice from Tora (he's a shinobi, so if you really want to charm him, you'll have to beat him first)

She can maybe lose it with time (and exposure to him being a dumb cringe fail kid w his brother still around) and maybe go kiss Ino idk

Anyways, Tora and Itachi friendship. Shisui is also there!! (Love that guy)

They're dynamic is just emotionally suppressed bastard (thinks hes better than you) + emotionally suppressed bastard (knows hes better than you) + upbeat guy smiling at you as he holds a gun to your head

Shisui and Tora take turns driving the car as Itachi sits in the back seat peacefully eating some applesauce (he's just happy to be here)

They're gonna blow up the hokage tower for the good of the people 👍

They're on an ANBU team w Kakashi and Tenzo and forget about going grey, they're gonna make Kakashi's hair straight up fall out from the stress

Maybe Tora can move out of his parents house the first chance he gets, and then whatever place he manages to find can be a little safe place for Itachi. Itachi accidentally ends up almost moving in w him as things at home get worse and worse w the coup. He just stays over more and more and doesn't want to return home

Circling back to the "Tora instinctivley knows how to navigate Tobirama's seals/techniques" the most terrifying point of the story is when he sees Naruto's jinchuriki seal and realizes he knows how to mess with it

Uh oh!! Shouldn't have that information!!

Anyways take some doodles

(Danzo is "that jackass who won't let me look at the nidaime's old research" and Tora has a GRUDGE.)

[achillesunly]

Listen, I think they're fucking with us

Spoilers

Yk I've been rewatching the latest ep (5) and I think there might be timeline issues

(remember I haven't read the book just a few spoilers here and there so I know he's gon fuck that old man I just don't know how or when)

Like we see armandiel being-well-

In the early stages, so to speak

And then we see armandiel so sweet after a cut from present bitch talking between old!Daniel and Dubai!Louis, like so very sweet

Hands cradling face kinda sweet and all that shit, which is a far cry from how Armand had been treating The Boy up until then, which might make one wonder why?

Especially since

Daniel says at the start of this tender exchange : in confrontation with Armand's prediction of his shitty future:

"I'm a bright young reporter with a point of view"

And we learn that it's after all this romantic bs that louis steps in and 'saves' The Boy's life playing the maitre in a fucked up roleplay of Armand's darkest years and proceeds to tell Daniel one on one to 'listen to these words as if they were from the voice of God or an angel'

"you are a bright young reporter with a point of view, if things ever get bad again these are the words that you'll hear in your mind like a tape playing over and over -"

Now, if you'll allow me a fuckery of the mind:

Or as some might say: A Theory

I think louis did his little speechy thingy between Armandiel 'early stages' and the moment Armand falls in love with Daniel.

I think he's mixing the timeline up

Which would explain how, on the brick of death (things getting, admittedly, bad again for Danny then) the words spur back into his mind like Louis intended and he says them.

And I think Louis didn't save no Danny I think Armand, too in love with his fagass, and not wanting him to have the dark gift just yet, did his best to mark Danny up BC he's fucked up as we all know it and a strange lover

And yet rewrote the entire the shit so that convalescent and fucked in the brain!Louis can't get the memories of Armand fawning over Daniel back and he can still play the maître which is something that works for Armand to keep Louis for some fucked up reason.

(or louis imagines the whole maître Arun shit because he's a massive cunt)

It has been said they've kept Daniel long, either one don't know the extent of that

In it, there is time for Armand to fall in love, Daniel to fall too, have some fucked up mixer shitshow, all the while louis being reclused in his shit ass room being busy getting better

Then Armand erases everything because he loves Daniel too much to lose him as a mortal lover (I know you know the tiktok audio whores I don't want you to die-) so he erases his mind

And fucks Louis's mind as well so that major changes cannot happen, he can keep control over the narrative, keep Louis, and keep Daniel

My baby so smart

So yeah here's my take

Im having a lot of thoughts TM and emotions

[canonicallyobserving911]

Hi just thought of this the other day - i think you were one of the few people who picked up on the gross implications of thommy's "they're always so grateful!" line in 7x04??

And then i remembered how thommy rushed to help eddie when he got injured at the basketball game and thommy was the one who volunteered to get eddie to the hospital and take care of him....???

We can see thommy was basically wooing eddie in 7x04, right up until buck presented an opportunity, so maybe...maybe thommy was hoping for eddie to be "so grateful" for thommy's help and care....😅

Hello @blutterlie and thank you for your ask.

My response got kind of long, so I apologize in advance but I'm happy to be able to share my thoughts on this topic because I've rarely seen or read any posts about it. That could be because I've blocked probably hundreds of blogs since 7x4 aired but I digress.

Before I delve into my response, here's my disclaimer: I didn't want Tommy dating, hooking up with or doing anything with Eddie or Buck because IMO, neither of them needed to be with another man before they go CANON. In season 3, they were both single and they had all the emotional, physical and romantic intimacy/chemistry they needed to have already been in a relationship but of course the FOX network wouldn't let it happen and we had to endure two seasons of them dating lackluster LIs (4x6 to 5x3 of Eddie dating Ana and 4x14 to 5x18 of Buck dating Taylor 🙄).

I believe all Buck and Eddie need are each other and after the kitchen scene in 3x9, it seemed like they may or could have already been in between the sheets but hey, that's my headcanon since it's not actually CANON and I'm not one of those who tries to retcon things that aren't or weren't in the show like the showrunner(s) and some veiwers have done.

Now back to the regularly scheduled program...

Since so many things changed prior to the start of season 7 with scripts, actresses not being available (AC and AK) and a shortened season (which wouldn't have had any impacts if they wouldn't have changed the scripts and storylines down to the wire) it's difficult to tell what direction TM was going to go with Buddie without him admitting it (he'll never do it). But based on OS's interviews about BuckT*mmy only being short term and LFJr.'s admission in an interview after 7x4 aired, it was originally supposed to be EddieT*mmy not Buck*Tmmy, I think things between Eddie and T*mmy were going to be more than whatever Buck’s doing with him. Also, I think TM is using T*mmy to delay CANON Buddie yet again.

Now, I'm going to go back to 6x15 first because that's when Buck broke Eddie’s heart with that BS line about how Natalia saw him when we all know she didn't see $hit but his death. And even though Eddie asked Marisol on a date at the end of the season, I stand by my original speculation that Eddie wasn't ever supposed to be serious with her and it remained that way until 7x5 when TM flipped the script and turned his relationship into something more than that. Reminder, she barely had any screentime until that episode. Also, RG mentioned Eddie’s abuela and his sisters were supposed to show up during the season but that didn't happen. His abuela was there in 7x6 but whatever she was supposed to talk to Eddie about, it got cut and all she did was attend the wedding with him and Chris.

With all of that being said, here's what I believe was supposed to happen. This is my speculation and it's contradictory to what most people think but that's ok since everyone interprets media differently.

I think Eddie and T*mmy were supposed to officially date each other and it was supposed to make Buck jealous to the point where either Natalia was going to call him out on it or he was going to breakup with her and tell Eddie he loved him. Another reminder, TM said he had a whole plan for Buck and Natalia but when AC couldn't return to the show, he had to scrap it. Also, he wanted Lucy to be the one who flew the helicopter but she couldn't return because the actress got a spot on a new show. These are things he and the writers would have known by January since the strikes were over and the writers had been working since late October.

Therefore, my analysis is based on several things. First, LFJr. looks like he could be one of OS's relatives since they have the same eye and hair color. Also, I think T*mmy was not only wooing Eddie, I think he seriously wanted to settle down with him. Surely, he knew Eddie was a family man because he has a son and he probably had the same thought process as a lot of the viewers did about Marisol being just a babysitter for Chris.

The issue was Natalia's actress couldn't return and instead of correcting everything in the scripts so that BuckT*mmy would be believable, they just changed a few things thinking no one would notice but it was a cluster f~ck. If Eddie would have been dating him then Buck’s actions on the basketball court would have made more sense than him injuring Eddie just because he had a new friend. That was ridiculous and none of it made any sense. Also, when did T*mmy and Eddie first talk to each other and when and WHY did Buck even want to contact T*mmy? He only saw him in the helicopter and as much as the 118 blabs all their business, there's no way Buck doesn't know T*mmy is a racist and a bigot and he has to know the things he did and said to Hen and Chimney. Buck’s two on screen kisses don't mean jack $hit when T*mmy doesn't seem interested in him at all and Buck was supposed to be off the hamster wheel but the truth is, he isn't.

Honestly, I think when T*mmy figured out Eddie wasn't available, he went for the consolation prize, Buck and IMO he's only interested in one thing just like ALL OF BUCK’S OTHER LOVE INTERESTS WERE. Abby, Ali, Taylor and Natalia along with Dr. Wells, and those two women he hooked up with in season 1 only wanted his "Firehose ". It's hard for those who haven't watched the first 6 seasons and the first 3 episodes in season 7 to comprehend, since they only want to see Buck kiss a dude but the truth is they don't know or care to learn about Buck’s history of using his body to get people to like him. He's literally been doing it since 1x1. The people he's been with never wanted to get to know him but HE'S ALWAYS HAD AN EMOTIONAL AND SEXUALLY TENSE relationship with Eddie. The only thing missing is sex for Buddie because they have everything else. They didn't even have to touch each other or take off a piece of clothing in 3x9 because their chemistry was so hot, it emanated through the screen and it's legendary.

It seems like T*mmy was going to be Eddie's first boyfriend and Buck wasn’t going to like it. Since by TM's admission and for those who've been watching for years, Buck was ALREADY CANONICALLY bi so it wouldn't have taken much for him to just admit it in season 7. There were hints throughout seasons 2, 3 and 4.

That's my speculation about what was supposed to happen and I think that line T*mmy said about the people they meet on calls always being "so grateful" was added at the last minute and it was done purposefully for Buck's storyline. I could be wrong but the way T*mmy pursued Eddie with dates, expensive fight tickets and them hanging out multiple times each week, it kind of seemed like he wanted Eddie because he's a "beautiful man".

Thanks for the ask and have a great day.

[randomfoggytiger]

How Scully Taught Mulder to Hug

I've noted once before what a profound effect Scully has on Mulder's emotional journey with healing and grief (see here how One Breath transforms him and his emotional outlet); but there is a key part of that healing process that is just as important.

Fox Mulder is known for his softer side: a masculine man comfortable with feminine displays of affection and empathy. However, even though it was always his nature-- reaching out to Scully often, pulling at her necklace, smoothing her hair, engaging her eye contact-- Mulder never physically comforted someone in their distress or immense grief before Scully.

I broke down his dynamics with his mother (see here) but, in short, he was her caretaker since Samantha's disappearance: tucking her in, speaking calmly and gently to soothe her nerves, and other minute mannerisms that bled into his other human interactions. But there was always an affectionate distance.

It wasn't until Scully that he learned how to sweep a vulnerable, distressed, or grieving person into a comforting hug.

TLDR

Scully is used to exchanging physical affection with her family and friends, and she will usually reach out to Mulder first to change an aspect of their relationship: a hug, a hand grip, letting Mulder sweat over root bear, pining in Season 2, hinting at genes in Season 4, and bringing a cheese plate for recovery fun fun times in Season 5. (It's why she was so shocked in The Little Green Men, Small Potatoes, The Unnatural, and Millennium: she doesn't expect Mulder to make any moves.)

Mulder is, despite being a physically affectionate person, stunned by her abrupt hug in the Pilot, having maintained an emotional distance from others for a long, long time (even from his mother and father-- despite being his mother's emotional and even physical caretaker, the two Mulders were not volubly affectionate.)

The MOST PIVOTAL hug is the follow-up in Irresistible-- Mulder shadows Scully the whole case, but it's she who finally cracks and burrows into his coat, needing comfort. The tenderness they've both cultivated in the aftermath of Duane Barry is kicked up a notch; and there is no going back for Mulder. From now on, he will repeatedly body-shield Scully: from literal danger (in the very next episode Die Hand Die Verletzt) and from very intense fear or grief.

In fact, that part of Mulder has been blown so wide open that he swoops in to greet his father with a hug in Colony, kicking himself when he remembers that the Mulders don't hug.

The first time Mulder reaches out to hug Scully is in Paper Clip while she struggles after her sister's death. It's a full-on, no-holds-barred hug that envelops and fully comforts. This is when The Mulder Hug TM is born; and Mulder will use this for the rest of his life, finally able to comfort and cheer and grieve openly.

Because Scully, his human credential, taught him how.

Housekeeping now firmly aside:

Pictures and In-Depth Analysis Below

The First Hug

In the Pilot, Scully is terrified of malicious looking bumps on her back, knocking on Mulder's door and begging him to figure out if they are nefarious or not; and when he good-naturedly assures her they're just mosquito bites, she whirls around and clings to him.

It's demonstrated multiple times in the series to be second nature to Scully to hug her loved ones (returning her father's bear hug in Beyond the Sea, letting Maggie cling to her in Memento Mori, greeting Bill Scully in Gethsemane, etc.); but the opposite is shown for her new partner.

Mulder is shocked by her hug, frozen in his former gregarious reassurance as he processes what just happened.

Finally, Mulder's face shifts to bewilderment, snapping back his head in confusion-- he hasn't had a real hug in how long... why now?

More warmth seeps in, wonder and concern rising to the top of his conflicted emotions as he asks "You okay?" tenderly, beeping his nose into her hair.

He tries to reassure his new barnacle-to-a-hull clingy partner, awkwardly (and this makes me laugh) patting her on the shoulder as if she were a baby.

When Scully pulls back to collect herself, Mulder dazedly focuses on her, tracking her eyes and blandly noting "You're shaking."

Scully helps herself to his seat with Mulder unfazed and telling her to take her time, poking out an arm so she doesn't ram into the chair. He then sits across from her, studying this new (ab)normal specimen, trying to puzzle her out.

This leads Mulder to share his vulnerability over Samantha's abduction, a quid pro quo if you will. It's not private information since he's already categorized her as an X-File; but the revelation is not his trauma : it's his neck-on-the-chopping-block move he makes, revealing how much he knows about the upper office shenanigans and what they've been doing to stop him ("You're part of that agenda. You know that.") Scully honors this , asking for his trust.

(An aside: this is referenced later in Anasazi when Mulder screams over the phone about her betrayal: "Look, you have my files and my gun. Don't ask me for my trust.")

The Second Hug

There isn't another hug until Irresistible. Although Mulder is far from distant, he only ever goes so far with his physical affection (a hand at his partner's back while walking, sitting as close as humanly possible, dragging her away from dangerous scenarios, etc.), leaving it up to Scully to cross the lines between them (tending to him and camping out in his hotel room in Fire, "I wouldn't put myself on the line for anyone but you" in Tooms, petting his hair in Little Green Men, etc.) Mulder yearns to be closer, but he is the one drawing the lines, another self-protective measure (like talking in riddles, keeping few friends, sleeping on his couch, and running so he never has to stop.)

But their S2 separation and Scully's abduction followed so closely by her near death in Firewalker leaves a space for Scully's increasing vulnerability. Her anxiety and stress continue to heighten as Pfaster's case hits closer and closer home; and, by the end of that disaster, she is a wreck. When Mulder and the police rescue her from her newest kidnapping, Scully vainly tries to hold onto her control until the dam bursts, Mulder's empathetic chin-touch undoing her.

She slowly steps closer, seeking a hiding spot to fall apart in; and Mulder just as slowly scoops her up, facing the middle distance briefly to assess what this moment means for Scully (who strove to be unbreakable after her abduction) before turning his focus back to his partner.

When a cry escapes Scully, Mulder instinctively pets and cradles her head for the first time (to my knowledge), transforming from an empathetic but awkward partner to a fully-fledged comforter.

It's here when he links his ability to convey love through touch with his soothing, calming presence: by holding another person, he can wordlessly offer both. This changes everything for Mulder-- he now engulfs Scully, TLG, his family, even other victims in hugs, unlocking that side of himself that he'd never tapped into before.

Scully worms in closer, too far gone to care about preserving whatever scrap of dignity she has left; and Mulder, who gets it now, swarms her in a tighter hug-- his hand stretched to its fullest and his arms wound in a stronger grip.

Mulder then steps it up a notch: he focuses entirely on her (briefly closing his eyes), trying to empathetically collect all of Scully's pain and fear like a dreamcatcher and shield her from all the negative emotions and traumas and nightmares that will plague her. Despite the torment on his face, Mulder's assurance is measured and strong: "It's alright." Simple, but powerfully reassuring.

The very next episode, Mulder throws himself over Scully to protect her from being shot first in the Die Hand Die Verleztz shower, a first for him and one he doesn't flinch at. Of course, he has always been protective; but there is no uncertainty that sometimes lurked when he'd previously hovered around her like a nervous fly.

And this new unlocking of himself led to his aborted hug in--

Colony

When Mulder arrives at his father's, he runs up to the house and almost misses Bill Mulder in the shadows. He steps over, opening his arms for a hug... and is promptly greeted by Bill Mulder's hand.

I already have a series detailing Mulder's complicated relationships with his family (The Mulder Family In-Depth Series is found on this master list); the importance here is that Mulder is so caught up in his new mindset that he forgot the barriers that existed between himself and his father.

Two theories that don't mean anything really:

#1. Mulder had broken down a huge psychological barrier; and he naturally included his father in this change... which was promptly rejected. His face registers an "ah, of course" expression instead of shock or grief, meaning this is an established habit of his father's. Just because he's changed, Bill Mulder has not (yet. See post here.)

#2. Mulder's father has hugged Mulder before, since it's a go-to greeting from his son in this time of crisis. He was a doting father at one point, so maybe he reverts back to his warmer behavior in exteme times of celebration or trouble? Who knows.

Whatever the case may be, this is the first hug Mulder has ever initiated for comfort (not counting bro-hugs or hello-hugs)... and it was rejected. Mulder being Mulder, though, never gives up.

Paper Clip

Paper Clip is the turn of the tide.

Mulder has learned how to marry his unending empathy and true compassion with his natural way of bonding, physical touch. This is when he gives it all back to Scully, the woman who showed him the way. In a demonstration of "I owe you everything, Scully. And you owe me nothing", Mulder stoops down to listen to Scully's heartrending pain about Melissa Scully's murder, giving her as much courage and hope as he can. When Scully cracks, he leans away briefly to better balance himself-- which makes his partner grab for his hands in a panic (2nd pic)-- before scooping her up into a tight hug, allowing his human credential to cry onto his shoulder.

Scully sweeps her arm around Mulder as well (you can see her hand on Mulder's left shoulder.)

The last piece of Mulder's puzzle comes in Herrenvolk:

Herrenvolk

I've discussed this episode in depth here, but it's important to comb back through with this context in mind.

Mulder's mother is on her deathbed, and he has failed to bring back the one person who could heal her. In tatters, he stumbles through the hospital in shock, relying on Scully to get him to Tena (or Teena) Mulder's room. At her bedside, Mulder crashes. For the first time, Mulder leans into Scully, indirectly asking her for a hug. Scully reads his body language and makes the first decisive move, showing Mulder that his emotions won't be rejected. He then falls apart, sobbing into her shoulder.

The last barrier for Mulder's emotional distance has melted away; and Scully is there to give back the comfort he always gave her.

A Summary and Mini-Analysis on Future Hugs

Finally, this aspect of Mulder's emotional journey has come to a healthy completion: from now on, he and Scully give and receive hugs freely, leaning in for affection and anticipating each others' needs and varying moods.

Season 5, interestingly, is filled mostly with hugs-but-not-hugs moments-- i.e., Scully didn't hug Mulder in the woods, they cuddled for warmth; and Mulder didn't hug Scully in All Souls, they whispered with arms in the police station.

But Scully does hug Mulder after the files burn down, since he is too emotionally hewn to reciprocate. FTF is an addendum to that moment, with Mulder proving to Scully that she does, indeed, mean more to him than his life's work (she is his life.)

Sseason 6 is sparing on hugs, though filled to the brim with romantic overtones (subtle they are not); instead, it gives Mulder two kisses that are not from Scully: Triangle's spy Scully and One Son's manipulative Diana Fowley. It's not until Arcadia that the two agents full-on hug-- multiple ones at that-- which is befitting for a season that practically shoves them together while baiting the audience.

(Note: Sometime around Seasons 6-7 there are the events of Per Manum, featuring very huggy Mulder and Scully. I set this sometime before Two Fathers/One Son; but do as you wish.)

The hugs really pick up significant meaning after the episode tag-team of Milagro and The Unnatural. There is no going back now; but whatever deal they struck in those episodes (whether RST or a new understanding between them) is solidified after Mulder's spiritual experience in Amor Fati.

From then on, hugs become casual side pieces to the main affection: Millennium kisses, unabashed flirting, comfort after maternal suicides, familiar and familial habits and routines, and farewells in hallways and hellos from old friends.

The last hug (as of S8 where my X-Files journey stops) is given by Frohike embracing Mulder on his return.

Mulder arrives at Scully's apartment, glad to see his old friend; but he immediately sticks his arm out to shake hands, an unfortunate shadow of his own traumatized father Bill Mulder. Frohike, fortunately, is having NONE of it, sweeping his friend into a tight, firm hug. Mulder is delighted and touched, zinging out his first quip devoid of bitterness.

Grateful and overwhelmed, Mulder gives his friend a back pat (and many happy Mulder noises) as well, harkening back to his first awkward hug with Scully.

A fitting conclusion to Mulder's hug arc.

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

furthermore going like okay not Sure of timeline things But. concerning bonus material Atlas's Actual Shirts deal

a) that bonus material is bonus material but this sure seems to fall into the [could be canon] &/or [basically is, but unseen within the main material b/c there's not really a place for it there] realms

b) both acknowledging the Marriage(tm) with a critical deconstructing lens huh. the girls & the gays. fucked up that someone might for example have an ongoing Gayce Moment (presumably aro as well, hardly irrelevantly) where their transactional associations must hinge on math, murder, etc

c) appreciating like okay mordecai would've lost everything but the clothes he was already wearing when he had to impromptu hightail it out of nyc, so that's when atlas must've given him his own clothes; this is Definitely Years Later (edit: definitely Months! Perhaps years! plausibly like a year or two! and apply that throughout the rest of this post)

d) when i) mordecai can surely have afforded to replace all the lended clothes & ii) his fumbling to argue the Practical Reasoning behind currently(!) wearing atlas's clothes still means it's Not for practical reasons. years later. while dodging & glaring at & competitive with & needling at atlas's wife. Oh You Know

e) and what a choice on atlas's part to give mordecai his own clothes. sure, that could've been the quickest way to give him Anything to wear (not now bloodstained, for instance) but buying new clothes would be like some possible Next Day shit, or, i dunno, asking around for Other people's secondhand clothes, both of which account for: this being several years prior to when this conversation could've happened, mordecai was how old when he met atlas? 16-18? 21 while we have it that:

this, after the fray at the lodge (noticing for the first time mordecai still has marks on his face from that here. it's been seventeen years Still noticing brand new things. like wick in volume one looking at a group photo in the café ft. the only characters known to us being mordecai, atlas, & viktor. what are you interested in about that hmm???) wherein, with the band on the stage, mitzi with a ukulele, & the dialogue suggesting as much amidst the context that atlas didn't really start being allied with marigold until after the lodge fray proper slaughter, atlas seems to be in the earliest stages of Meeting His Wife here. with his Ferocious Little Shadow. who i also note is looking Entirely Away even as prior i've simply interpreted this as Keeping An Eye Out &/or general disinterest in Anything going on at the speakeasies. competitive to near-homicidal relationship with atlas's ever-present wife....which, remembering what i was getting at in the first place. if atlas's shirts are noticeable big on mordecai at that point, surely all the more so originally. and he kept them! and kept wearing them! for Emotional Reasons Only Actually. goodness gracious.

f) where's the walking on sunshine mitzi & mordecai shopping montage? which did apparently happen, unless instead mordecai then rushed to get new bespoke shirts himself to avoid others Perceiving him judgmentally and the walking on sunshine montage specifically. she gives him a makeover (from buttonups to buttonups. whaddaya gonna do) she asks him for begrudgingly familial makeup touchups....she shares intimate exclusive secrets with him concerning my firm [they were both in on atlas's death, and so would atlas have to have been too] stance....Girl,

g) "atlas and i discussed that" what???? who???? when & why???? mitzi kicking her legs like so tell me about your Ferocious Little Gay Little Two Steps Ahead Shadow. did atlas volunteer mordecai's Entire Backstory as he knew it? did he provide it upon Request? did mitzi ask "why's ya boy wearing shirts that don't quite fit" and atlas goes "oh yeah that's because they're my shirts. i have noticed this without saying anything. for years" like imagine. what's going on around here

h) i forgot how i planned to work in this image of "i love this shot of & Look for mordecai." disheveled freshly wounded undershirt towel suspenders now as fashion accessories over pants Annoyed Sideeye & it Does help that elsa, real fave tertiary character, is here serving as well with the waist pants & putting her hair up & they're both always serving anyways. You Better Not Be Cunty Mordecai when i get over there to fish the shotgun pellets out of your body, Said No One!!!

anyways recap atlas giving mordecai his own shirts (at all genuine or All about trying to spam the [benefactor] key so mordecai sticks around & shoots people for him?) mordecai accepting and continuing to wear them for years until thwarted by atlas's wife whom he is Competitor with and now in one of those classic duos of "do we hate each other? well maybe, but also no of course not. we also share an understanding we can't have with anyone else. which is a secret about the same guy who neither of us wanted to die but were both involved in his death" mitzi Knowing things about mordecai, oh i know all about you wearing my husband's shirts years later, mordecai is at atlas's funeral nobody else we know but mitzi & asa are there obviously mitzi would have to know about this too like. transcendent. fluorescent. head in hands. happy pride

[aro-rambles]

Hello! My Blog isn't aspec related so I thought I'd share my two cents here

The recent aro hate on this website is INSANE. As someone who is new to tumblr, seeing this in a predominantly queer-centred website is unfathomable.

Equating aro people to "no strings attached" is illogical and stems from the allo-amato notion that there are strings to be attached in the first place. Physical pleasure and emotional fulfilment are two completely separate concepts.

Portraying cishet aro men as people who are just leading on the poor women infantilizes women. This is just misogyny packed as discourse. If a cishet aro person is indeed being a dickhead, they're just a dickhead and we can all call them out on that like we call out any other dickhead

To the queer people equating aromanticism to pedophilia, how do y'all not remember that how gay men were treated back in the day? How we were cordoned off from society to "protect the children"? Do better, people

To the aspec people being accused of doing this just to be able to use a slur, fuck that. The exclsionists seem to have forgotten what a reclaimed slur means, or what queer means. Queer simply mean strange. Have they.. forgotten that aroace people are the queerest ones out there. Challenging not only heteronormativity but also allonormatovity and amatonormativity. They're the ones being called weird for not dating or having crushes or swooning over the random hot guy on the street or fantasizing about a white wedding. The ones treated as immature by their peers for not having a partner yet. And people think they aren't queer?

Fuck the exclsionists. I LOVE your posts. I'm sure I'm surrounded by people hating in anon in your ask box and I'm sending them all the hate in my heart. I love your blog and the aro community is one of the most inclusive I've seen on here. Love y'all and stay strongggg

ok so I'm very sleepy and my brain is like some sort of sauce currently so I'm gonna put numbers before each thing I say bc it's easier, don't worry about it

1 thank you for sharing your two cents, I think I agree with everything you said (can't be sure bc my brain is some sort of sauce currently but I'm sure I'd have noticed if I disagreed)

2 I want to go on The Slur Rant (tm) so bad but the internet is simply not prepared for it and I would rather not have to deal with the annoying fucks who'd disagree with me. not sure why I said this or why I got so aggressive at the end of that last sentence but here we are.

3 I'm sure there was something else I wanted to say before what I'm gonna say next but I forgot, sorry

4 my dude you are not in fact surrounded by hate in my askbox!! there's actually more nice messages than anything else <2 and also whenever I get anon hate I just block on sight now so it's fine. but yeah I would like to thank everyone for the kind words and everything. I love yall except for the ones who rather I didn't, in which case take your pick, we got uhhh cherish, appreciate, like but stronger, and. :3 (<- consider this a verb).

5 thank youuuuuuuu <222

6 sorry I took a while to answer this ask hope you see it even though I'm posting this at horrible hours gdhdjdjdk

[frostythefrostedfox]

Spoiler Alert for Inside Out 2, you've been warned, if you keep reading from here on, that's entirely on you friendo

Nuff time has passed, and I know it's only been like a week, but in internet time that is like 500 days

Inside out 2 was mid as fuck, not even Harry Potter makes me snooze this hard; is literally the first movie, with the same problems with the added problem of constant retcons and a super unsatisfactory ending. I would give it a 5.5/10, at least Blue Beetle made me feel something other than annoyance, even if that emotion was anger

I guess pixar wasn't lying, they are truly trying to massify the appeal of their new stuff by basically copypasting "The Current Trend TM" into the movie where it fits or not. What is this, a modern sonic videogame?

The scene in question was very well done, it felt very real, but don't forget there is still 85 minutes of movie to consider, and I bet it'll be just like the first one, where nobody remembers absolutely anything from the movie except for that one specific scene, the ending and the ending alone.

I really thought that pixar was onto something with Cars 3, when things seemed magical yet real, when the life lesson of the movie was something that is usually hard to hear, but no, instead we got "Be selfish and lie, that'll get you what you want", because that's exactly what the ending does by giving Riley what she wanted instead of punishing her for her blatantly shitty actions and being an even worse friend, nope, instead everything is solved with a hug and everyone's cool with her, what is accountability am I right?.

Joy apparently learned absolutely nothing from the first movie because now she has even more control and is doing even worse shit than before, in the first one she was just a control freak that kept the other emotions from doing anything, but in the second one she is even worse, now she straight up tries to make Riley forget things so she can create an idealized version that fits her perfect ideal of who Riley is, is like her whole take of the first movie wasn't that there has to be room for other emotions and that it is okay to not be happy all the time, her take seem to be that you should absolutely get rid of everything that doesn't makes you happy because that's just easier than acknoledge your mistakes, lie to yourself every single day of your life, that'll make you happy! And the least said about how Starbucks Karen coded she is in this movie compared to the first one, the better

I am not even going to talk about the huge ammount of inconsistencies with the first movie that were just shoved in for unknown reasons, like Nostalgia, did y'all forgot that Nostalgia is the emotion that Riley discovers at the end of the first movie when the memories of her past are a mix of sadness and happiness?

And lastly the marketing, it was the most corporate thing I've ever seen since the garfield movie, ew, never thought anyone could ever do it worse. Just product placement in bigger brands so they can hijack your attention for a couple of seconds while you consume another product and secure their money by force-exposing everyone to their movie. If those had been stand-alone ads I wouldn't have a problem, because that is the point of advertisement, to sell you something, and we know what happens when you barely show the movie you're trying to make money out of, like Elemental, but y'all could at least pretended to believe in your own product's ability to stand on its own two legs instead of ductaping it to literally every other brand that was popular enough at the time.

[kafus]

gen 3 has really transformed for me in general in recent times. i started playing pokemon with gen 3 (specifically FRLG, but i did also play RSE and even colosseum as a kid eventually) and i was completely autistically in love with it, but was bullied for it pretty severely at school ("girls shouldn't like pokemon" or whatever, it was the early 2000s) and i didn't know anyone else in real life who was into pokemon, so i never got to do any of the link cable features, which were pretty essential for getting the full gen 3 experience - i couldn't even complete my kanto pokedex on FRLG no matter how many times i played it, i didn't have the hardware to trade with myself or anything

then gen 4 came out and revolutionized the series with wi-fi stuff, i remember literally getting emotional and crying when i tried the wi-fi plaza in PtHGSS for the first time because seeing so many people into pokemon from all over the world in that little lobby meant the world to me even though i couldn't actually speak to anyone. despite pokemon being such a massive franchise you could have convinced child me that i was practically the only person playing it because of how lonely i had been prior to gen 4

i reiterate this Sad Backstory(tm) that i've talked about numerous times to contrast it with what gen 3 is to me now. as an adult i've finally made friends who are also into pokemon and it's really made me come out of my shell, both online... and in person, when i get the chance. gen 3 now represents tangible experiences with real people like it was supposed to be when i was a kid. despite not getting to do so often due to all my friends being online and having to travel and stuff, as an adult i've finally done a few trades and stuff with people in real life over link cable, and those pokemon represent physical, real life memories. it is meaningful to me that i've finally reached that childhood dream of simply connecting with someone enough to play with them in this game that means so much to me that is only possible through a real life interaction

i've also learned a lot about gen 3's postgame, glitches, and a lot of other really technical stuff which has expanded my ability to play the games and the things i can do in them other than resetting ruby or leafgreen for the millionth time as a child and as a result i have a lot of playtime in gen 3 and various accomplishments that i'm still very proud of and happy with. and of course i have a pokemon that was name after my late friend who passed away recently, that was named that while he was still alive...

idk it's just ironic that something that once represented my lack of connection with people and my loneliness now fills me with feelings about real people who i love and memories of meeting them in person, literally the opposite of before.

hoenn specifically obviously represents that generation and while i still have some complaints about the main campaign (the latter half of hoenn is a genuine slog, i rarely enjoy playing through it) my experience in emerald's postgame and the general online nerd culture surrounding people still playing gen 3 very actively in current times far outweighs any critical complaint i could have about them as games. my love for gen 3 and hoenn is very people oriented (though really, that gen 3 postgame is amazing if you're insane about pokemon gameplay)

idk i love gen 3 a lot and the tactile nature of it. i love its aesthetic and its pokemon but most of all the people it represents for me. i'm glad i've reached a point in my life where it no longer represents loneliness

[icedmetaltea]

Ngl I feel kinda somber now that it's Officially November...

(just sad thoughts)

All I have to look forward to is Thanksgiving and Christmas, both of which are family-themed holidays if that makes sense and it just makes me remember I'm now not in contact with my sibling. I may not even be staying with my parents by christmas, I may be back in my old apartment all alone or at a new one, still alone.

It wouldn't have mattered even if my sibling was still staying there, they were going to go on a vacation to Europe through christmas this year so I would've been alone anyways.

And like... due to climate change n all, September and October here were basically still summer. It's only now starting to feel consistently cold. I only have November, December, January and maybe February to look forward to before it starts warming up again and with it my anxiety, which I've only just now gotten under control.

It feels like I'm having shorter and shorter timeframes during the year (cool or cold months) where I'm not having horrific anxiety and ya know feel ok with the whole being alive thing. If I have to wait for just a small fraction of the year to not feel like dying, then like what's the point in living?? It becomes a quality of life problem at that point.

If you spend so much of your time just surviving, it's not really living, now is it?

It's just impending doom hanging over me, nothing new there. Now that my sibling is close to moving I have to worry about where I'll live by the end of the month, about financial aid and getting back into school (online if possible), getting a part time job for the first time, living alone for the first time, if I can get back on ebt... so many fucking things. Which ofc doesn't help with the suicidal thoughts. And ofc my mom had to bring up how all the war with palestine is seeming like The End Times according to the bible and my existential anxiety did not like that.

If god's real (the one my parents believe in anyway) I am of course going to hell. If god's real they're evil, or at least apathetic to the world's suffering, so I have to contend with both a god that hates me and a devil that loves making people suffer. I keep telling myself it's not real but ya know religious trauma and all that shit... Like I want to just turn off my emotions and remind myself if it is real Ok I guess I'll Die and Burn in Hell tm but at the same time it's like why not just make it quicker while I'm having and have so many guns around me.

Don't worry tho this year was the worst my depression or anxiety's ever been and I didn't attempt suicide even during the worst of panic attacks (tho it was tempting, and I couldn't exactly move enough to reach for anything dangerous) so at this point future me prolly won't. And hopefully I can continue speaking to the therapist I'm seeing even when I move.

I just fucking wish my parents would stop reminding me that half this country doesn't believe in climate change and thinks Israel is the victim in the war going on and all this other shit like can you BE ON MY SIDE FOR ONCE PLS. But no I'm just a stupid young person I guess, what do I know, what's my word compared to THE BIBLE or facebook or where ever she gets her info...

And ofc my therapist brought up a good point, aside from my parents and sister I genuinely have nobody irl I can turn to when things go sideways. I don't know if I ever will. When I say I have a resting murder face and an aura that makes people stay away from me I'm not joking and she rlly thinks it's all just a negative view of myself, but it's true. People are scared of me I think, always have been, it's just the vibe I give off.

So I will continue my life without friends and without people who will believe me when I talk about stuff like climate change and that is that. That's not to say I don't cherish online friendships, but I mean just like people I can depend on to really be there, to take me in if I genuinely can't take care of myself, bc it got like that for months and I couldn't so much as wash my own dishes or myself and I don't want to be alone when it happens again, and I know it fucking will.

But yea, I figured i should write this all down while it's fresh on my mind so I can reference it before my next appointment in two weeks...

[takiki16]

I've seen you talk about Helen Wick a lot and her relationship with John and how he was totally devoted to her. In the second movie, we have a nice parallel with Gianna and her relationship with Cassian. What do you think? Is it the same level of commitment? I don't remember if we have something similar in the third movie, it's been a while since I've watched it. But I love the idea of John running into men devoted to their women and being reminded of Helen because of that. Can't wait for Chapter 4 next week!

MY JAM MY JAM MY JAM MY JAM!!!!!!! POUR CHAPTER 4 STRAIGHT INTO MY EYEBALLS!!!!!

Short answer: YES. I think Cassian was absolutely ride or die for Gianna. There is just NO REASON to do a Dramatic Zoom (TM) in on Cassian’s face when he discovers Gianna’s body if there isn’t some level of deeper affection and fealty there!!! Why would Gianna say “what would I do without you, Cassian?” To use a TLT phrase, ANOTHER ONE OF DEVOTION’S CASUALTIES!

Long Answer: yes, I think Cassian is just as devoted as John, but because John chose Helen Wick and Cassian chose Gianna D’Antonio, Cassian doesn’t get to express his devotion the same way?

One of the things that makes us all so hype about the JW franchise is the world building - not only is there an Insane Badass, but he lives within a LARGER FRAMEWORK of insane badasses that have COOL AESTHETIC INFRASTRUCTURE to support their various acts of badassery. John and Cassian may be actively trying to kill each other, but they still vibe because they share…it feels weird to call it a ~*social class*~, because that implies politics I don’t think Chadley and Co. have thought about, but that’s kind of what it is! They know that they are both Service, rather than Management! They come from virtually identical positions on the chessboard! It’s also why I love the John and Sofia scenes in Chapter 3, because her exposition adds more depth and detail to this framework. John may be unique in his SKILL LEVEL, but his actual POSITION in the grand politics of this world means that he still has to kneel when he asks for certain favors. (Which is ANOTHER of the things I loved about Chapter 3 :)))

TO EXTRAPOLATE FROM THAT TO BEAUTIFUL FEALTY MUSINGS: you all already know that I love a subby murderbot who is devoted, body and soul, to the object(s) of their devotion, and it’s even better when there is a FRAMEWORK of subby murderbots who share this common understanding. They may have plot-related disagreements, but even through vengeance there’s always this vibe of “I understand. If it was MY beloved, I would do the same. Now we shall fight to the death, but with that understated Respect (TM).” The only other canon example I can think of is Wheel of Time, but that’s where I see John and Cassian #subbymurderbot4subbymurderbot. And the thing is that Gianna ALSO sees this, which is how she knew exactly the most hurtful thing to say to John when he came for her - the idea that Helen would hate him, for what he was.

HOWEVER - as I said, Cassian can’t express devotion the same way because there is NO WORLD where Gianna D’Antonio agrees to give up the potential political advantage of a marriage, or even a long-term relationship, to make a commitment to her bodyguard - no matter how good or devoted he may be. And there is no world where Cassian would even attempt (and fail miserably) to put Gianna in that position. Has Cassian ever said anything about any potential feelings he might have? Has he admitted it to her…or even himself? What good would it do him, other than make him a potential liability? What good would it do Gianna, to acknowledge that one of her employees would die for her out of deeper emotional reasons than gold coins? I DO think that both of them are aware, and that Gianna has some level of reciprocation even, but I also think that neither of them have ever said anything because…what good would it do? The High Table is not a place where you can have emotional indulgences without returns.

Which makes me think that, in a weird way, Cassian might be jealous of John. A lot of subby assassin murderbots in similar situations might be? And that MAYBE that’s the reason everyone, even people who hated John or were jazzed to have him back, kept saying “I’m sorry about your wife.” To a whole class of subby murderbots who have stalled out in the stoic pining stage where Cassian lives, John achieved the Impossible Dream. HIS person wasn’t his underworld employer, or some other similar backstabbing Underworld denizen, but someone who would allow John to wear his heart on his sleeve, so to speak. And yeah, civilian relationships usually had extremely short literal life spans, but of course the motherfucking Boogeyman pulls off the Impossible Task and manages to get himself a whole LIFE with her!!! He got to marry his person! Legally, even! They got a house and a yard together! John did something that was nOT supposed to be possible for anyone at his level in their world. It’s like if your coworker suddenly did every single job in your workplace for a week by themselves, then immediately won the lottery and left the country, only to have all their money immediately lost in some kind of bank failure. AND someone trashes their car and kills their dog.

I’m imagining like…assassin water cooler talk about John. “Oh, did you hear about Wick? Yeah, he dID it, that crazy bastard! He wiped out all those guys in one night, and then he retired, that mad lad! Didn’t think even HE had it in him! I’ll bet he gets bored and comes back real soon. Couldn’t be me, bro, retiring and living a boring suburban life…with the Person of my Affections…not getting treated like a disposable weapon all the time…SO BLAND, right? I give it two months. Fuck that guy, anyway. Oh…oh she died? After only five years? After…after everything? Oh god, who ordered the…oh. Ouch. Hey man, I’m sorry about your wife.”

SO TO RETURN TO YOUR POINT about Cassian reminding John of Helen bc he keeps running into other subby murderbots - YEAH. I DO THINK HE DOES. I know that polite coldness is sort of etiquette in the Continental, no matter how much you might hate someone, but John goes to the trouble of telling Cassian why he did what he did. Heck, he CONFESSES to Cassian what he did in the absolute worst possible context, even though John could easily have lied at the party and said he was there to kill some other famous underworld boss. It would have bought him a few minutes! But no, John tells Cassian everything because HE would want to know, in Cassian’s shoes. John is fresh off a massive murder spree because someone took Helen’s last gift to him - he knows exactly how Cassian feels right now.

I think that John is lowkey both a legend and a cautionary tale to people like Cassian, because hey. Even if all your dreams come true and you get to build that perfect life with your person, you could lose everything just like that (see Marcus: “It’s days like this scattered among the rest.”). Is it better to just keep your mouth shut and serve their interests as best you can right now? Or do you gamble everything on an Impossible Task, with the possibility that you lose everything anyway?

[thormanick]

So let me throw in my five cents on Skirk's design,

because I have Thoughts TM (TLDR: it confuses me)

WARNING: this post CONTAINS Skirk's image which might still be spoiler-y if you haven't seen the livestream!

First of all, if you like it and if this is how you envisioned her to be and this design speaks to you - great!!! I'm very happy for you! I'm glad that the character you found interesting for so long without any visual details being available for so long delivered on your expectations. (Depending on how the rest of her outfit works I might join your camp lol)

Second of all. Character design. Let's talk a bit.

When you do character design, there are some aspects you ideally want to incorporate into the final look. Character design ideally should hint at the role the character plays - either have allusions to their archetype or have easily identifiable details/signifiers which could then create associations with the role they're supposed to fulfill in the narrative. At the same time, the design of the character may also reflect their nature (once again through the associations) (and I guess my impressions are mostly informed by the archetypes I encounter in primarily western media); symmetry and light colour often oppose asymmetry and darker colours, thus creating "visual" conflict between the characters that are narratively supposed to be in conflict. Yet another thing to remember when working on the character design is character's individual past and how it affects their present, as well as the environment they've grown in and are living in. Are there any specific trinkets, patterns or materials included in their outfit? If so, what is the reason behind them? What do they signify to the character and how in turn it speaks to us as someone observing them in the context of the story? etc., etc., etc.

All this to say, there are even more steps to this process when done in-depth/professionally (I only go off my assumptions): character should be recognisable, easily identifiable, preferably have very individualistic silhouette, etc. So, when we think of Skirk's design, I think we must first and foremost try to understand how it works together with the information that was already known about her.

Skirk is an warrior who dwells in Abyss, fights Abyssal monsters, someone who can be a good mentor figure and who is very skillful at what she does (fighting).

This is where I am a bit confused with what we see. Mind you, it doesn't mean that I have any strong positive/negative emotions about it yet (I'd need to see the full design to properly collect my thoughts), I'm just really, really confused so far.

My confusion stems from several key aspects of the design: chosen colour palette, chosen clothing design, chosen accessory design. Let's dig in.

I will start with clothing design. Now, I've seen some people note that a) Skirk's outfit seems to show a lot of skin, which is impractical; b) that her armour is not complete (top is separate from bottom as I understood it). When looking upon what little we currently have, the armour seems to be complete (there seems to be a connecting piece going over the mid section of the body, however it remains to be seen if it like this from the front view). However, skin exposure is indeed something I do not completely understand as a design choice for a warrior-themed character. I would understand it if it happened naturally (through tears from past battles, for example. Maybe there are patched-up claw-tears or something similar. That would instil air of fear and respect towards Skirk and show that she has been through a lot.), but current setup seems to be too deliberate and more guided by fashion choices, which in my eyes renders it quite impractical. At the same time I want to note, however, that there are weird fin-like structures growing out of Skirk's back (they are briefly visible when she turns). Depending on whether she uses them or not and if she has more of them, then the open skin on the back can be kinda-sorta explained.

Next, I would like to address the accessories. They mostly confuse me because they seem to be very flow-y and etherial. Etherial aspect works in Skirk's favour, because she is someone who should be very different compared to the average character from Teyvat. Their shape (specifically the hairpiece) reminds me of fins and butterfly wings, which can have diametrically opposed effects in term of tone in this instance. Butterfly wings seem more royal, aesthetic, unbothered by the worlds, while fins might hint at the connection of Skirk to the place (Abyss) and to her own nature (the fin-like things on her back). (Together with the loose hair, however, there seem to be lots of flow-y lines in the upper part of her design, which creates air of relaxation about her that I don't find particularly applicable to what we already know of her as a character).

The last but not the least, the colour palette that surprised me the most is something I need to highlight here. Skirk's colours are rather pale/pastel purple/lavender(?), with accents of deeper purple, blue and underlying structure of black. I think it confuses me mostly because it seems to be so non-threatening, when I expected quite the opposite. However, despite confusing me, it kinda works. One of the points of character design is to reflect the surrounding nature of the character/play on it, and current colour choicrs kinda do the job very well. All the colours that Skirk wears are the colours surrounding her (endless space), and is also kinda related to the palette Abyss technically uses in Genchin and where Skirk comes from.

This is where I need to go off on a bit of a tangent. I think normally when we think of Abyss in Genshin we think of Spiral Abyss, which contains lots of heavier, darker colours (very dark blue, dark purples, some silver, black, maybe red); however, the Abyss we've seen (or some parts of the Abyss we've seen) can be quite whimsical and use slightly lighter shades of blue and purple. What I mean to say is that Abyss seems dark, but not always threatening, and so Skirk may embody this trait of Abyss. At the same time, given her current design, she seems more at home in the space the Space Whale TM and Primordial Water comes from, which, once again, leaves me with more questions than answers.

Finally, given that she seems at home in a place that is connected to Primordial Water and the Whale and seems to have fins and fin-related elements incorporated in her design, I wonder if this is supposed to be her natural place of dwelling, and if she is as disconnected from Abyss as she seems to be from Teyvat.

Something like this. I will need to see the rest of her outfit to reach a more final verdict, but for now I am cautiously hopeful and kinda optimistic. Still kinda confused (because expectations were quite different from reality)

P.S. Thank you for reading through this if you did, I'm sorry for rambling for so long.

[dirtyoldmanhole]

revelation loveblog with a gunter focus, ch26, 4/4.

this one's the last big one and deals with some really heavy topics, not kidding, so take a drink and/or a break if you need to.

where we left off: corrin defeats gunter.

this is another one of those perfectly framed shots that does such a good job of capturing the emotional subtext.

gunter is cornered.

the big bad divine god that he thought he had (anankos) is silent, leaving him alone to die, watching him as judgmentally in the background as the other royals.

he expects no mercy, still, as a traitor.

there's a bit in my fic (sorry i'll be saying that a lot) where strictly speaking, by nohrian and hoshidan justice codes he'd almost certinally be executed for his actions this day.

remember what I said about the desperation and despair starting to sink in? you really see it here. anankos is still influencing him, but you see the man underneath panic.

gunter has always been prepared (and i truly believe, wanted to) die honorably on the battlefield.

he does not want to die like a cornered animal.

note he's holding a sword now. that's about to get important. (all nohrian knights likely have a sword on them even if they favor lances like he does, or axes.)

Azura starts singing her healing song.

it's a bloody fantastic idea since she's capable of swaying minds with her songstress magic, and it's always been a "good" foil to Anankos' warped magic.

and ....

it's working. partially at least. good on xander for noticing this, too. he's becoming a remarkably decent leader in his own right.

(apologies for the javelin in azura's hand breaking immersion a bit)

the camera angles are exquisite, and absolutely heartbreaking here.

:")

it's notable she doesn't just stop at the bare minimum of what the game outlined as his duties. gunter really went above and beyond in raising her.

(so, yes I have thoughts(tm) about that discipline line, ironically not even in the iddy sense but it's complicated so put a pin for that in a different meta post later.)

that's significant. titles come back.

this time... it's not explicit, but i would bet you cash money it's done out of genuine respect for her, not rote. he's fighting against anankos.

for all of his legitimate resentments, there's that part of him that really does treasure those happy memories.

it's particularly bittersweet/telling considering how much memory is its own traumatic arc for corrin, too, with her mind wipes.

the fact they both hang on so tightly to those moments as an anchor?

...

...

at the last second - he stabs himself with the sword in a fatal disemboweling wound...

...

... and we see black smoke rise out of him in a very explicit gesture that anankos has finally left his mind and body for good, thanks to corrin and azura's efforts.

you ever research disemboweling wounds?

there's a reason why it's consistently ranked up there as one of the ugliest ways to die.

...

(note the title again below)

...

gunter collapses.

...

corrin calls over the healers, and this time, they're able to save him.

...

so.

here's the thing. this is more interpretation/fic stuff, but--

i've always had the long-standing conviction that possession would leave emotional scars remarkably similar to sexual assault given the type of mental violation. (this also had the semi-intentional result of paralleling with Corrin’s mind wipes which is also a violation of a very similar kind. it's a big theme in the fic.)

something else that's a big theme there, and i hope, not without reason, because i see it all over his arc here in revelation - is dignity.

dignity, or the lack thereof.

gunter's a very proud man of his generation; pretty much every time we see him elsewhere in the game there's a consistent focus on control and discipline.

garon was the one that broke him first, but there were many, many instances afterwards that just ground him in the dust, particularly with anankos. here, he doesn't even have the dignity of privacy anymore; he's got the people who he hates the absolute most, watching all of this.

my point here is he is truly at his absolute lowest.

no wonder his endings strongly imply he offs himself after the game.

'revelation's the golden route for everyone' my fucking ass

...

back to the game, sakura/elise heal/stablize him, and he's able to talk again, barely. but at least he's out from under anankos' possession.

here comes the whammers.

gunter decides to come clean.

this isn't for anyone else's benefit. this is just for corrin's.

you know, i just realized. how the hell does he react when he realizes she's a dragon on top of being a thrice-cursed royal? (back eventually when he meets her in the bottomless canyon.)

dragon "anything" (especially with anankos now) was and is going to have some real unpleasant connotations for him.

...

and there it is.

...

"once / was also"

you know, that sure implies garon forced gunter to watch. not just arriving on the aftermath of the scene.

jesus fuck.

....

fuck.

...

...

ngh, that "you all".

yeah, I called it again with that resentment and him absolutely throwing Corrin in there too. it's complicated with her-- there's a reason she's the only one that was able to bring him back at all-- but not for one moment has he ever forgotten that she's a royal too.

here's the other interesting thing. he never tells corrin about his dead wife and kid in conquest's married route with her, even when it's ostensibly "her dad"" that does it.

i don't think it's him being deceptive as much as ... he's satisfied when corrin kills garon, and this is such an old scar that hurts that badly that he just straight up takes it to his grave.

literally the only time we hear is now, against his will.

he bares his soul to you all, and that is you react? jesus, that's tasteless.

fucking christ alive, get your heads out of your arses for once and quit fucking thinking about yourselves.

...

ngh.

..

aaaand there's the other big whammer.

note that he says this when he's not possessed. this isn't anankos twisting a resentment and jacking it sky high to ""debatably"" a falsehood. this is 100% the truth from the horse's mouth.

now, mind, it's not the whole truth.

he would not have let corrin bring him back from the absolute brink if there was nothing but hatreds and resentment - there's undying love, affection, and i genuinely believe, yes devotion there.

but yeah, their relationship is complicated as fuck.

okay, so I've talked before about how this chunk is actually different depending on m!corrin/f!corrin existing in terms of this strongly implying he holds a romantic flame for f!corrin even on revelation's route and not just conquest.

that said that's more of a 'ship manifesto' tangent, and I'd like to focus just on him for this post.

corrin, babe, i don't think you really understand, but props to you for giving a shit. that actually does mean a lot.

we're almost done.

corrin's giving him a remarkably gentle pep talk so he doesn't turn around and disembowel himself again.

that was absolutely the right tack to take.

corrin gets it here. she remembers his family. that more than anything, is what convinces him to stay on for this one last gauntlet to kill anankos for good.

ellipses strike again. given the turmoil he's going through, it makes sense.

...

there'll be one shorter post capturing everything end/post-game, but nothing to this degree.

thanks for reading.

[tirorah]

Oh man, this moment! I've been dying to talk about this.

Makoto finally steps forward, going from mere contributor to driving force. And what does she do? This. This is what she does!

I'm going to talk about this in more detail later in this post, but I need to tell you the core of my opinion right now: Makoto is being a bad friend. I can't believe I live in a universe where she gets the chance to do that. PGSM is incredible!

Don't get me wrong: Makoto's intentions are good. She's feeling empathy for Usagi...but that empathy is drowned out by her number one priority of 'Tuxedo Mask bad, Chiba Mamoru better'.

Here, she steamrolls over Usagi's valid objection and leaves to dig up information. I don't even think Usagi needs to be more adamant here; Makoto is the guilty one. She's the one forcing her point through. She's the one taking away Usagi's agency in this situation.

So, what's going on here? Remember this:

I'm super glad I spotted this line in the previous episode, because it completely recontextualises Makoto's actions during this part of the story. Sure, Tuxedo Mask is a man of questionable character and a criminal besides; in Makoto's eyes, she has reason enough to distrust or even dislike him. But that's not why she's been hovering over Usagi since the Knitting Drama(TM) began.

Like I said before, Makoto is trying to protect Usagi from heartbreak. She doesn't want Usagi to go through the pain she herself suffered. And guess what? She failed. Usagi's heart was broken right in front of her and she couldn't do a goddamn thing!

Now that Usagi has finally admitted her true feelings, Makoto should be helping her. Comforting her, letting her vent and cry. Maybe--once Usagi is past that stage of intense sadness--Makoto could help her take her mind off things for a while. Take her outside for a fun activity, make her comfort food, I don't know. Whatever helps Usagi pick up the pieces.

But Makoto, like all main characters in PGSM, is a flawed human being. Rather than do the right thing and be the steady tree for Usagi to cling to, her protectiveness goes straight into overdrive. She needs to fix this--at all costs. Getting Mamoru and Usagi together is the only way she can repair the damage she couldn't prevent.

And so, she questions the stability of Hina and Mamoru's relationship (without any facts to back it up) and leaves on her self-appointed mission. Neither Usagi nor Ami are in a position to stop her. Usagi's too vulnerable and Ami is too timid.

But hang on, isn't there someone else who could help out here? One Hino Rei? Where is she?

She's just arrived at the church with dog food. Completely oblivious. Oh my goodness.

There's an elegance and beauty in how this entire situation is constructed. Remember, PGSM is written around a group of four friends, not five. This allows it to build four distinct pairs that each have a unique dynamic and group role: Usagi and Ami; Ami and Rei; Usagi and Makoto; Rei and Makoto.

With Rei out of the picture, that equilibrium is gone. There's no one around to rein in Makoto's protectiveness when it goes too far. No one to argue with Makoto on how all of this is a horrible idea and that she should cut out this nonsense right now. Sure, Rei might be really harsh about it, and that might upset everyone, but it would also force Makoto to consider her own actions. You can see an example of this during episode 8:

Maybe Makoto would still leave this time, but the seed would be planted for her to realise she's going overboard.

Would Rei also understand what a blow this is for Ami? Maybe, maybe not. But her presence might give Ami more confidence to speak her mind on what Makoto is doing. As for Usagi: she respects Rei. Again, she might get emotional, but like Makoto, Rei would probably get through to her a little.

None of that can happen now. And why is that?

Minako, the outside influence, has unknowingly messed up the perfect symmetry of the Senshi team's dynamics. One of the links in the chain has been pulled loose, and now the entire group is collapsing in on itself like a house of cards.

I love this scene. I adore it. I want to serenade it and bring it flowers and bake it brownies. No show is perfect, but this setup? This expert usage of interpersonal relationships? 10/10, no notes.

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

Hi! What's your favorite:

Color?

Season?

Hot and Cold food?

Book?

Flower?

Beverage?

Ice cream flavor?

Story troupe?

Thank you! OK now byeee

Hi!

Colour:

Red. My friend says I only wear red, black and white, but I'll have you know that's not true. I have gray clothes as well.

And, yeah, out of those I actively wear, also some old-pink. That would be about it.

Season

...always the next one?

Probably spring though. It's colourful and the sky is bright. The temperatures aren't too horrible either.

Hot and cold food

I like pancakes! Any way you can eat them, lol. But I can count them as cold food (tm) to list my mom's leek soup as the hot one.

Book

Why would you make me choose one favourite book??

The Locked Tomb series. I have no idea what is going on at any given moment and it's great.

Hooked by AC Wise. It's a second book in duology and I have yet to read the first, but. Reading it was Something.

Muffin a čaj. It's a czech book, which is apparently my spring comfort read. I read it around the same time the last four years in row. I might have some passages memorised.

Uma's Wicked Book. Emotional support disney channel pirates ✨✨✨

Flower

I really like how peonies look; I've got one dried as a decoration. I don't remember when I got it though. (I also have some dried roses, from the dance course or my birthdays.)

Beverage

I can't answer this one without Blue giving me a lecture about doing stuff that hurts me.

Ice cream flavour

Raspberry or yoghurt

Story trope

..."I don't know what is going on and I love it"?

Found family. Morally gray characters. Magic (that makes sense) is a bonus.

I could give more specific ones but that counts as therapy.

Thanks for the ask! Btw I saw your ask about Ivy and Claudine, so, yeah. I take ages to answer some asks though.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

on that note had also been thinking about the hilarious classic maneuver of taking things i go "smh always doing that weird/wrong" & instead putting it in the context of like oh i dunno my life experiences. like going "smh once again in one millisecond i noticed something was about to fall & just sort of Tensed instead of instantly going to catch it & in the next milliseconds hash out like 'oh but could i catch it. oh but now it's in progress am i too late' etc" but like well hang on. first of all the Tense Up / Brace For Impact approach can have its strengths too. second of all like why just kick myself when Of Course the vastly more frequent & relevant experiences of having to stifle reactions & tense up to Brace For Impact / Weather The Situation means that's the standard approach. sure tends to be the case that like "okay test your reflex time :)" type things when i Know It's Coming, i.e. preemptively Tense Up, i turn out quite slow. throwback to a true classic [my roommate that said my cat was performative while their cat did things out of true emotion] at my doctor's appointment at like age thirteen when the ol Knee Bonk Reflex Test would make me Tense/Seize That Knee Up and Then kick. and then afterwards my "big fan of unprompted criticisms / declarations about your internal experiences or true intentions" mom was like you were faking those reflexes. i'm like well i wasn't. she was like yes you were. consider the camera jimmed

secondly i was also thinking like, always been the case that when Talking, often even if in writing format, i can't really avoid mirroring the characteristics of the other person's Style / Patterns lol. was thinking about it in my Relative ease of adopting pronunciations for different language's phonemes when it's like, i guess i do have experience in Doing Voices not b/c i really often Did Voices (sometimes lol, as like, direct quotes or whatever. echoing....) but b/c like i'll just be picking up all kinds of mannerisms / tendencies / ways of speaking, including accents slightly (my default accent being disney channel) not b/c i'm messing with anyone or trying to do anything, in fact trying Not to do this is generally unsuccessfully & This Is What Happens Naturally & always has & it's like yknow what i think it might have to do with the fact that i don't think Talking in general is oh so "natural" for me / a matter of "just being myself" (things virtually never are lol) like. i think that time i had that friend in second grade where i'm like ummm i'm not sure we spoke the same language b/c i'm not sure we spoke hardly ever? but we had fun & played & amused ourselves etc til the teacher as usual went Biggest Time Sicko Mode on our "not paying attention" like nobody else's got & then didn't give a fuck abt "intervening" again when we didn't feel like we were Allowed(tm) to interact at all. & like i'm pretty sure i'd be "supposed" to feel like omg we don't talk (almost) at all?? that's SO weirrrd i remember that soooo welllll

and when i Do talk most "naturally" / "just being myself" it's all at once, wordy, and Theatrical, and even then. i did it some the other day and was Sweating, literally, less so figuratively but it does still feel demanding, and of course even when it doesn't Feel thusly, doing a Lot a lot of verbalizing can really still be draining to Taxing. and i've noticed better like yeah sometimes i'm markedly struggling to speak when i'm already extra wearied. and another thing i put into context better was like "when i'm being put tf through it why do i tend to cry through interactions. b/c i'm being a PUSSY????" like lol just on principle was like okay well who cares, i'm sure you, by which i mean i, have my reasons b/c so too would i think someone else does, like. and i remember like, i tend to Not "directly" cry of stress or sadness virtually ever. while i Do tend to be simply keeping that shit contained but Exactly When i have to try to speak? is when i happen to start crying. hmm. Hmmmm. talking Always this performance that i may often not be up for. similar to [personal visual style / Look / clothes] like my default is "basic outfit i'd want to wear every day" & my ideal is "i do not want to be perceived" & (this &) everything else is performance / drag to me, Would That that always be on my terms

another banger is my till oh so recently kicking myself like "aah [pathologization time] i'm sooo slow to be at ease / comfortable around people even when they're surely being nice, what a hassle for others" like well it can be viewed as a hassle for me but it's also like, wait, i end up having stayed uncomfortable around people who weren't being That nice by putting in That much [any effort from any Consideration] and often turn out like. ultimately not that Safe. and i look at "oh right yeah and also i sure Can be like instantly quite comfortable / at ease around people, including people i literally just met. so" &/or my not being at ease either is still way less of a deal than having to literally/figuratively sweat it while i'd feel so much more Okay avoiding detection much less interaction