#OCs can be frustrating

[estellamiraiauthor]

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 29)

Welcome back to Chapter 29, where the nicest thing I can say about Rei’s shitty attempts to (not really) take care of himself is “at least he doesn’t live in a sewer and sleep in a literal coffin”!

…seriously, I created this disaster boy and even I’m frustrated with him here. Arrrgh!

As always, spoilers (including spoilers for chapters beyond this one) under the cut!

We open this chapter with what will be the final screw in the coffin of Bara’s revenge, mwa ha ha! when Teru’s band shows up to an event to promote their album to find a line reaching around the block and a poster (designed by Rei) much larger than the one for the omnibus CD Bara’s band was selected for. This will be the last passing mention of that CD OR Bara’s band in the book, by the way. They’re just not a threat anymore. 😁

The event itself features a bunch of stupid questions that used to honestly drive me crazy back in the day. Who cares what the band’s favorite clothing brands are? I want to know about the underlying angst beneath their lyrics, dammit! LOL But there is one person who has apparently gotten wind that SOMETHING is up regarding the bands future… good for her for asking the hard-hitting questions?

And then we move on to December 23, the former Emperor’s birthday. *sigh* I miss the former Emperor, not only because he was a peace-loving, grandfatherly figure, but because his birthday was on December 23, which was a much more conveniently placed national holiday than the current Emperor’s birthday.

As mentioned in the book, when neither December 24 or 25 fell on a weekend, a lot of people would celebrate a Japanese-style (I.e. couple-centric) Christmas on the 23rd. In 2000, the 23rd was a Saturday and the 24th a Sunday… so fairly easy for people to celebrate. That also makes the 23rd a great date for an in-store event to celebrate the launch of Teru’s album!

This was completely coincidental, by the way… I’d already decided that Teru was going to take Rei out of town for Christmas Eve, so I Googled the relevant calendar and… boom. Hello, plot point!

So, it’s vaguely mentioned in passing that Rei is also getting ready to go out as Teru is preparing for the event. This isn’t SUPER unusual; Rei does go out, maybe not quite as often since he’s been working on the album having a lot of bad pain days recently, but the album is finished, and if anything Teru would be happy that he’s feeling good enough to have plans of his own. 

As always, anything that’s not explicitly on the page is not canon, and each reader is free to fill in the blanks on their own, but I think he’s going out here to buy or to pick up the pendant he’s eventually going to give to Teru on New Year’s Eve. He doesn’t intend it to be a goodbye present at this point—maybe just a Christmas present or a “good luck with the record deal, I support you” present… but of course that all changes, and what happens here is definitely what pushes Rei over the edge.

A couple of reviewers complained about the way Rei didn’t take very good care of himself, but honestly I don’t really know what they expected from a Phantom retelling. At least he doesn’t live in a sewer and sleep in a literal coffin? IDK. But I did try to show that not taking care of yourself has consequences. I don’t think it’s anything super dramatic that happens to him here: he’s just pushing himself too hard, not using the right mobility aids in the right way, and he falls badly on the ankle that’s not in great shape to begin with. Someone gets concerned and calls an ambulance, and I imagine Rei protests but he literally can’t get up so… he ends up in the hospital and they call Chizuru to come and get him.

I don’t think it’s particularly significant that Chizuru is still listed as his emergency contact instead of Teru… probably just not something you think to update without a specific reason. As to why Chizuru isn’t available… well, it’s the Emperor’s birthday/Christmas Eve weekend, she says she’s not in Tokyo, and Teru hears a man’s voice with her on the other end of the line… I think she finally IS moving on (which honestly makes it pretty shitty what Rei sort of indirectly does to her too… she’s totally going to feel guilty and go back to taking care of him full time, but I also think her partner is understanding and she eventually gets a happy ending, too.)

So she calls Teru, and Teru thinks he can take care of it before his event, but he has trouble finding the hospital and then it takes longer than he expects and he ends up being late.

I’ve written before about my loathing and fear of hospitals, particularly Japanese hospitals… things have gotten much better as younger generations of doctors and nurses have come in, and as younger generations of patients have started to demand more in the way of things like informed consent, second opinions, and mental health considerations, but ESPECIALLY at the time, being hospitalized felt like being in prison… and for Rei, of course, hospitals are also going to be associated with a lot of trauma.

So, the asshole doctor here is probably the single worst human being in the book. There are definitely a few things that could be considered microaggressions or unconscious bias… no one considering the possibility that Teru might be queer, Kiyomi and Seika being awkward around Rei, Teru thinking it weird that Seika chooses to live in Koreatown. But none of those are **consciously** discriminatory… this doctor most definitely is. He doesn’t speak directly to Rei—i.e. the actual patient—the entire time, assumes Teru is a “caregiver” and even when he says he’s not keeps talking to him like he is, etc. etc. Needless to say, he was based on many, many shitty doctors I’ve seen here, and was actually pretty cathartic to write.

Don’t actually put too much weight on this guy’s medical advice, by the way. I did as much research as I could, but it was all internet-based. Unlike with the music stuff, I didn’t have any firsthand sources to ask about medical details. Also, he’s a jerk.

So, once Teru sees that Rei is not badly injured, some of his concern sort of turns to annoyance. The person he loves is hurt, and Teru himself is late for the album launch event, and all of this was PERFECTLY PREVENTABLE… or maybe not. But if Rei had been using a crutch and wearing an ankle brace and had STILL gotten hurt, I think Teru would’ve been a little more sympathetic.

Now, I do understand what Rei was thinking. He was having a good day, and there haven’t been many of those lately. He’s worried that he IS going to need more help and more support as time goes by (which, he is… I mean, that’s partly just aging and partly what happens when some parts of your body have to overcompensate for others, but it’s understandable that he struggles to accept that). And so when a day comes when he feels like he’s gotten a little bit “better” again, he wants to go back to the way things were “before”… but of course he wasn’t really taking the right measures to keep himself safe in the first place, so that kind of backfires.

And this is when I think Rei decides that he has to leave Teru… because what he’s feared has now actually happened. His disability has DIRECTLY hurt Teru’s career. Of course, that’s not really true. It wasn’t (only) his disability, but his failure to take care of himself that led to the fall. Rei doesn’t really see that, though… that yes, he did cause Teru to be late for his event, but it was his STUBBORNNESS that caused it more than anything else.

So after the event, Teru comes home and decides to spoil the surprise of his little romantic getaway a day early, because he doesn’t know whether Rei will want to go, or be able to go. He offers to take the wheelchair that’s been in Rei’s bedroom forever but Teru has never seen used… and that would probably be a really smart choice at this point (aside from Teru’s passing concern that he wasn’t expecting this and hasn’t booked accessible train tickets or hotel room, but accommodations could probably be made) but of course Rei refuses… sigh. Even though I wrote this, it’s kind of frustrating to see him blatantly refuse to learn, even when the universe pretty much slapped him in the face with a lesson a few hours earlier.

He does want to go, though… maybe he’s not 100% sure yet, but definitely starting to think that this will be their first and last trip together. 😭

[starshine-cal]

My brain off adderall: ugh work sucks when can I leave

My brain when properly medicated at work:

(I pinky promise this is my own tweet that’s why I blocked the username LOL)(also this post brought to you by every Jedi we know post-order falling getting into romantic relationships with seemingly very little conflicting feelings after living their whole lives with the orders teachings haha)(guy who was young padawan when the order fell: “but I can’t date people! Only the sith date people!” Skdkdkdl)

[night-triumphantt]

Me when I’m having @infamous-if brain worms lmaooo,,,, It’s ok their story isn’t over

(also I have never drawn Sev before let alone a baby Sev XD nd they fought me the entire time, on brand i think fdsfdsfs)

[veinsfullofstars]

🪞 Fallen angel... who do you see staring back from the Mirror? 🪞

(ID: Kirby series fanart of Galacta Knight and my personal interpretation of his Mirror World counterpart. GK hovers above facing slightly to our left, his feathery wings spread wide, shaded in lilac and tipped with gilded wing talons, a swallow-like tail visible. He holds his shield forward in his left hand (our right) and his lance to the side in his right (our left), a single magenta eye leering at the viewer through the visor of his mask. A halo of heart spears floats and shines angelically behind his horns. Below him, M!GK hovers in the same pose but flipped horizontally and without the halo. Visually, M!GK has mostly the same features as GK, with his color palette being darker and less saturated (dusty purple body, dark gray armor, gray mask, maroon lance, rose-gold horns and weapons accents). His eyes are not visible in the shadow of his mask, but there are signs of erosion running down the metal surface in rusty orange lines, almost like tear tracks. Instead of feathery wings, M!GK has wings composed of jagged shards of pink crystal, glittering and lit from within by a luminous glow. A few pale feathers can still be seen peeking out from his back. END ID.)

Hey, so... what if... I went a little insane for a minute? What if I just... concepted a character... for the sequel... to an AU... I've told no one about... and haven't even finished writing yet? What if I then... pulled the salt shaker labeled "ANGST" out of the pantry and just... unscrewed the cap all over this poor lad? Oh, and Galacta Knight's here, too, I guess.

Sketch started 02/21/24, render started 03/01/24, finished 03/06/24.

[tariah23]

The fact that her summer ascension art isn’t even bad… but it’s a copy and paste of her OG design as well…. Like… this is something else to me. It’s even funnier remembering that Dobrynya’s design is also just a copy and paste of the artists own OC ☠️… well, whatever.

[chalkrub]

In the furry au are Mockley and Coltarch just themselves or do they have their own fursonas that are completely different from the animals that they already are

they have fursonas! <:^) though i do like the idea of furries existing alongside weird dinosaurs

here's some little portrait sketches. moose coltarch and badger mockley

still not completely sold on coltarch being a moose, might make him an adder. but mockley's a badger for sure, even though owl/squirrel/hare were tempting. i want them to all be cute fairytale woodland critters together, to match the fox/pheasant thing mika and heidi have going on....beatrix potter type animals just spiritually and mentally ripping each other to shreds. and also physically

[craske]

portal (and rain world) on my mind... category 7 autism event

revisiting portal is funny when you know what will happen because when That happens i just couldnt help going all "are you sure. are you sure you want this buddy"

[puppyeared]

I made a lmk oc

[oldrudshore]

What are friends for if not moments like these

[kasper7489]

I kinda hopped into the dc fandom by reading fics (I know I know lmao)

But as I've read more comics and looked into different characterization and analysis I now have a more developed idea as to how I view a lot of the characters and have preferences to how their written. I'm def the type to click out a fic if I find myself thinking 'he would not fucking say that'

Anyway this is just to say it's very funny to me when I go thru some of the fics I bookmarked at the begining of my interest and find myself going Uh Oh! I don't think I can read this anymore!

[leafwateraddict]

Its super late and im having ideas

[mostmagicals]

i’m gonna be on my other blog. the reason i don’t wanna keep them public here is because i’m worried people might not get interest in towards them in general. as well as keeping my following count as low as possible so if you want me to follow you there, i’ll just link to this post where you can like it.

[skitskatdacat63]

Do not question the logistics of the planetary system :) Also yes, Pluto is a planet TO ME. And I came up w these when I was a lot younger, so don't question them :)

Also idk if this factors into one's choice here, but each planet is ruled by a god(dess.) Maybe I should make a poll about their ruling styles one day lol

I'd say "please reblog" but this is very niche so! But if so, please explain your choice, I'm curious! Or comment

+ examples of some under the cut:

Lol a lot of this is older, don't judge :) And I also don't have ocs from every planet unfortunately </3 hopefully one day!

Mercury:

Venus:

Saturn:

Uranus:

Neptune:

(lol can you tell I have a favorite planet, I think prob at least 50% of my ocs are from here)

Pluto:

Unwanted:

(these are actually my oldest ocs that I still use, and I had to rework them to fit into my au thus: unwanted. Very important lore tbh.)

[gomzdrawfr]

[oc omegaverse stuff]

Some more drabbles of the omegaverse stuff that leads to nowhere

And this one’s like a scene before they went ahead and kiss each other, but I lost steam to write the actual kissing part 😂

[akademiyas]

in case you haven't seen it, genshin is now doing a collab with mcdonald's. Please note that mcdonald's is an organic boycott target (following the BDS movement). don't waste ur money on shitty food and shitty companies!

if you want to donate directly to palestinians or to groups helping palestinians please look through operation olive branch

[gh0stbreath]

🪱🪱What the Sylvworm doing?🪱🪱