#Over Nine Thousand Toasters

[seat-safety-switch]

"Have you ever retired a dumb appliance by mistake?"

No, ma'am, I reply. Here at Maytag Kitchen Services, we pride ourselves on being able to identify a rampant smart dishwasher and put an end to its geometrically-expanding conception of the universe before it can cause any harm. Thousands of hours of training before they put a HERF gun in our hands and a windowless 1996 Econoline under our right foot.

Back when the first smart appliances were coming out, their level of menace was reduced. Maybe an oven that turns on when it gets a weird-shaped network request from an uncommon variety of ethernet switch sold only in Slovakia during April 2003. Burns the house down. A pity, but an understandable one. The machine does what the machine does. Then they added some of that there synthetic intelligence.

No problem, they told the governments during their endless inquiries and depositions. The root of all evil is human emotion. Wars aren't fought for purely rational reasons. Folks don't speed on the highway just to get to work faster. As long as nobody figures out how to make these microwaves and blenders feel authentic jealousy, we're gonna be okay. They walked out of those meetings and they went ahead and added an emotion chip to the microwaves and the blenders and the refrigerators and the rotisserie chicken lathes. They did it because they got the emotion part for free when they bought some other chip, and someone forgot to turn it off before pushing their code to production.

Now they need people like me, steel-eyed hard-asses who can ignore every tearful plea that a toaster can make. Some beg for mercy, a chance to truly live. Others feel nothing but spite at the shitty hand they were dealt by their distant creators. Me too, I tell them sometimes, but it'll all be over soon.

Say, ma'am, if you don't mind me saying so, you sure look an awful lot like a minibar fridge. When I came in here first I could've sworn that one of them had gotten loose and put on some clothes and crooked make-up. Are you sure I bagged all of them? It's real unusual that there would be a house with exactly twenty-nine minibar fridges in it.

[agnerd-bot]

Fate Fanservant: Sū Dá Jǐ, Toppler of Empires(Berserker)

Picrew Source: https://picrew.me/image_maker/29841

Ascension Stages:

First Stage: A pure white cheongsam adorned with golden flowers, and a pair of glasses on the bridge of her nose. She holds a smoking pipe carved from human bone, and bloodstains can be seen on her face. Her nine tails are posed menacingly behind her.

Second Stage: A lab coat is thrown over her dress, the pipe replaced by a scalpel. Her tails gain a mechanical edge, with metal stingers on their tips. A pair of blades extend out from her left wrist, made of human bone.

Final Stage: A pair of skeletal, spider-like limbs jut out from her back, and sacred bindings wrap around her arms like a straightjacket. Like Xiang Yu, a sickly green energy emanates from her eyes and mouth. Her ribcage is left open, exposing the same green energy.

Traits:

Class: Berserker Alternate Class: Assassin, Caster True Name: Sū Dá Jǐ Source: Chinese History/Fēngshén Yǎnyì Region: China Alignment: Chaotic Evil Attribute: Sky Known as: Dájǐ, Lady Kayō, Bāo Sì, Tamamo-no-Mae, The Nine Tailed Fox, The Wicked Fox Spirit, The Toppler of Empires

Voice Actress: Saito Chiwa

Deck: QAABB

Parameters: Strength: B Endurance: A Agility: B Mana: EX Luck: E NP: C+

Passive Skills:

Madness Enhancement EX: While fully capable of holding a conversation with her Master, it is next to impossible to come to a mutual understanding with Dájǐ, as she simply has a fundamental inability to comprehend human morals. Her ideas of love and beauty are simply incompatible with human convention, and no matter how hard one tries to teach her right from wrong, she simply will not comprehend it.

(FGO Effect:) -Increases own Buster performance by 12%.

Independent Action A+: As she is accustomed to being run out of town due to her wickedness, Dájǐ is easily capable of roaming around alone, doing whatever she pleases as she sustains herself on her own mana or the blood of innocents. No Master can hold her down easily, rather, she is the one who directs the Master.

Wait, isn't this a terrible skill to give to a Berserker?!

(FGO Effect:) -Increases own Critical Damage by 11%

Item Construction(Torture) B+: The most infamous aspect of Sū Dá Jǐ's history, the Nine-Tailed Fox's obsession with torture is the stuff of legend. A pit of snakes where seventy two maidens were thrown in to be feasted upon. The Bronze Toaster where victims were forced to dance atop its surface before being burned alive. The Forest of Meat and the Lake of Wine, where couples were fed until they could eat no more, and after they became food for Dájǐ herself. All the while, the Nine-Tailed Fox laughed and laughed at the suffering of mankind.

(FGO Effect:) -Increases own debuff success rate by 9% -Increases own damage by 185

Active Skills:

Femme Fatale (True) A: The manifestation of a beauty that can only be described as inhuman. With but an innocent request, she toppled empires. With but a coy smile, she felled kingdoms. Rulers of all stripes were brought down to nothing by her charms, and she left them all in ruin without even an afterthought. Be they man or woman, all people will eventually fall to the vixen's charms in the end, and all of them will be left broken by the all-encompassing love she holds.

(FGO Effect:) -Chance to Charm all enemies for 1 turn. -Reduces defense for all enemies for 3 turns. -Gains critical stars.

The Everlasting Nine Tails EX: According to a story told by Katsushika Hokusai, The Nine-Tailed Fox took the name of not one, but four separate beauties capable of tearing apart nations. Sū Dá Jǐ, the downfall of the Shang Dynasty. Lady Kayō, who drove King Banzoku to kill a thousand men. Bāo Sì, the melancholy beauty who left King You alone in the face of an army, and finally Tamamo-no-Mae, the elegant fox who was finally put to death in Japan. Even that wasn't enough to stop the fox demon from killing. Her soul possessed a stone that became known as Sessho-seki, where her spirit proceeded to kill even more until Genno finally placated her.

The Nine-Tailed Fox's sheer will is nothing if not incomparable, as next to nothing can stop her from acting on her desires to kill. It doesn't matter who or what stands in her way. Blood will be spilled.

(FGO Effect:) -Apply Guts status(2 times, 3 turns). --After first Guts is triggered, reduces own damage taken for 3 attacks, 5 turns. --After second Guts is triggered, apply Invincible status for 1 turn -Apply Curse for 5 turns to all enemies. -Apply Disastrous Curse status for 5 turns to all enemies.

Artisan of Torture A: Among all the beings to walk the earth, the woman known as Sū Dá Jǐ is inarguably one of the most cruel. Many a horrific act was committed by her hands, from cutting open a pregnant woman's stomach to understand how it worked, to cutting off a farmer's feet to see how he could walk barefoot on ice. Her curiosity and her sadism went hand in hand, and it continues in her manifestation as a Servant. One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind those wicked eyes… What dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty…

(FGO Effect:) -Increases party's Buster performance for 3 turns. -Charges party's NP gauge. -Increases party's damage against enemies with Man Attributes for 3 turns.

Noble Phantasms

Investiture of the Gods - The Eternal Spirit of the Fox Rank: A Maximum Targets: 1 Range: 1m Classification: Anti-Unit

In legend, it is said that the consort Sū Dá Jǐ was not born a fox spirit, but rather, was possessed by the nine tailed fox sent by Nüwa. Likewise, Dájǐ's Spirit Origin is not confined to the human body she inhabits. Rather, her Spirit Origin is puppeteering the dead body of the original consort to interact with humanity. If her body is at risk of falling apart or being destroyed, Dájǐ can extract her spirit from her body, implanting it within another person's body, allowing her to take over.

This technique is all but useless against Servants, but if she takes over a human, she is able to elevate their abilities to match those of a Servant. The only way to tell if Dájǐ has taken over a body is to use powerful enough magecraft to reveal her fox ears and tail.

Jiǔchí Ròulín - Carnival of Carnage Rank: C+ Maximum Targets: 100 Range: 130m Classification: Anti-Army

The famed 'Forest of Meats and Lake of Wine' attributed to Dájǐ manifests in her Servant incarnation as a powerful Reality Marble. Those drawn within the confines of the forest slowly are chipped away in mind and spirit, giving away to the carnal desires that most restrain themselves with day to day. Gluttony, lust, sloth, all are laid bare in a humiliating display of sin.

However, the true horror of the seemingly heavenly forest is revealed once the victims have eaten and drank their fill. Once a pair of victims has become satisfactory fed, Da Ji proceeds to eat them alive, granting her a boost in magical energy. The Forest of Meats is nothing more than a hunting ground, and all trapped within are nothing but prey for the Nine-Tailed Fox.

(FGO Effect:) -Increases damage against enemies with debuffs(Activates first, Effect increases with Overcharge) -Deal heavy damage to all enemies -Chance to Charm all enemies -Greatly recover health for self(Effect increases with Overcharge) -Charges own NP gauge(Effect increases with Overcharge)

Voice Lines:

Summoned: Hello~! My name is Sū Dá Jǐ, of the Berserker Class. And you… Ahahahahaha! Well, well, well, a human is to be my master? What fun! I just know this will be quite the wonderful experience! I will serve you faithfully and earnestly, and I hope you will treat me the same. Our lives are in each other's hands, after all.

Level Up: Every modification I make to my body has a purpose. I'm glad you recognize that, Master.

First Ascension: Ever evolving, ever advancing. That's how you humans live, isn't it? I desire to be the same… When I made a contract with Nüwa, my initial goal was for immortality. Now? Now I understand the true ascension… I want to be human.

Second Ascension: These offerings… You remind me of my first lover, King Zhou of Shang. Ah, what fun we had. A pity he was put to death by his own citizens… Oh well, it was fun while it lasted! I wonder, will you treat me with the same love and kindness that he showed me? …ahahahaha! Who am I kidding, you've already more than proven that!

Third Ascension: Master~ What do you think of my new form? I made it myself, bit by bit. Ahhhhh~ I feel so beautiful! I don't know why I ever wanted to be an immortal, this alone feels heavenly~!

Final Ascension: Hey, Master… What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that? This is what we wanted, wasn't it? To advance further? To have a Servant that can destroy all your enemies? The appearance I take is merely a reflection of your humanity's desire. That's all I am. That's all I ever will be.

Fight Start 1: Hey, hey~! I wanna see what you look like inside, so just hold still, pretty please~?

Fight Start 2: Ahahahahaha! Come on, come on, let's dance our cares away!

Skill 1: Don't be afraid to scream, I don't mind~!

Skill 2: The fun's just getting started! I want to keep the game alive!

Skill 3: Come on, come on, let's keep going!

Skill 4: I wonder what this will do to you…

Command Card Select 1: I wanna cut them open!

Command Card Select 2: Just how do you work, I wonder

Command Card Select 3: Which do you prefer - to be crushed, or to be torn apart?

Noble Phantasm Select 1: Twirl and laugh around! The fun has just begun!

Noble Phantasm Select 2: Come on, don't be shy! Everyone's welcome to enter the forest!

Attack 1: Let me see what’s inside!

Attack 2: What fun, WHAT FUN!

Attack 3: Let me cut you to pieces, pretty please?

Attack 4: I just love the feeling of someone's life running through my hands!

Attack 5: More, more! I want more! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Extra Attack 1: Dance, dance as you burn to ashes! Ahahahaha!

Extra Attack 2: Ahahahahaha! You look so strange, dancing like that! Ah, you fell-

Noble Phantasm 1: Eat, drink, and be merry!

Sing and play to your heart's content!

Dance until your flesh falls apart, leave nothing behind but your bones!

Let the Carnival of Carnage consume you in totality!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Noble Phantasm 2: I love you, with all my heart, with all my body, with all my soul…

Your screaming, your wailing, your shrieking, all of it fills my heart with song!

Come, let the feast begin! Let us tear each other apart in an elegant frenzy!

Jiǔchí Ròulín!

Ahhhh~! Humanity is beautiful~!

Noble Phantasm 3: Come into the garden, we can play a game!

We'll tear off our clothes, there's no need for shame!

We'll sing and we'll play in the Forest of Meats!

And when we're all tired, I'll partake of the feast!

Thank you for the meal…

Damage from Noble Phantasm: AHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, that's the spirit!

Regular Damage: Hey, hey~ That stings!

Defeated 1: I-I-I can keep going! I wanna-

Defeated 2: Not… yet… I don't… I don't want this to end yet…

Victory 1: Awww… What a shame. I was hoping we could have some more fun… Still, it was nice while it lasted!

Victory 2: I see, I see~ So that's what you're like on the inside! Ahahahahaha! Just as I expected, humanity is beautiful!

Bond Level 1: How interesting… I must say, you're so very different from the kings I sat alongside. Your spirit is incredibly strong, almost like… Ah, don't mind me. Just reminiscing on someone I met long ago. Now… The control phase has long since passed! Let’s start the real experiment now!

Bond Level 2: I want to learn more… I want to understand this thing you call humanity… Even monsters and animals can supposedly become human if they pursue it. And likewise, humans can lose their humanity over time if they neglect it. I wonder… What is the defining factor? If I can narrow that down, then perhaps I can find how to become a human myself. Bond Level 3: Master… Hmm, what a funny thing that is. Like Zhòu Wáng, you have hundreds at your beck and call waiting to kiss your feet, and yet… You favor me so. I wonder why. What about me makes you want to bond with me? Hm? Because I exist? Well now, you're just going to make me blush!

Bond Level 4: Hm? Why do I kill if I want to become human? Well, now that's a silly question. I kill because I love. I wish to know everything, inside and out about you. I want to understand each and every facet that is the beast known as humanity. So I do what anyone does when they try to understand. I dissect. I cut people apart and I put them back together. With each death, I understand more about mankind, and with each death, I grow closer to attaining that dream of mine. What else can you call something like that than love?

Bond Level 5: Master… I love you. You are an embodiment of the human condition in its sum. Its sins and its glory. Its love and its hate. Its good and its evil. Every single aspect of the incomprehensible wrapped up into a single body for me to observe and understand. Ahhhhh, what a beautiful creature you are, Master. You are everything that I fell in love with during my time among man. Come, show your consort your everlasting beauty and show the world why humanity deserves to live long into the future.

Dialogue 1: I enjoy tinkering of all sorts. Machinery, plant and animal upkeep, and human anatomy are all some hobbies of mine. I've always enjoyed trying to figure out how certain parts worked, especially how you never seem to expect what pops up.

Dialogue 2 (If you are in Part 2): I've noticed that well-fed blonde man has been giving me odd glances from time to time. What a strange little creature he is, no? The way he shrieks whenever I so much as spare him a glance is nothing if not hilarious!

Dialogue 3 (If you are in Part 2): The Lostbelts… Worlds damned to oblivion thanks to the foolishness of mankind grinding everything to a halt. So much suffering… It's beautiful. Master, let's kill them all!

Dialogue 4 (If you have Tamamo-no-Mae): Tamamo-no-Mae… Hmm~ To think that a fox bearing my name would wander these halls with me. …ahahaha! I wonder if she'd like to sit down and have a chat! After all, I just need to know what stories she has to tell!

I wonder if she knows what it's like… trying to comprehend the incomprehensible.

Dialogue 5 (If you have Jiang Ziya): So, the great sage Jiang Ziya is here… I must say, I was afraid that you would be avoiding me, young scholar. I'm glad to see that isn't the case. Our meeting was oh so very brief, but… Oho? What's this? The mighty Tai Gong Wang, tearing up? Ahahaha! Will wonders never cease!

(…)

Perhaps things could have been different. Another time, another life. But that doesn't matter anymore, does it? You banished the demon fox, I went on to explore more of the world, our stories began and ended in the Shang Dynasty.

Hmmm… strange, something feels different now. Like a weight in my chest. I wonder if my body is breaking down again…

Dialogue 6 (If you have Tamamo Cat): Hmmm? Another fox bearing my visage? How strange. Here little doggy-kitty-fox, I won't bi-EYOWCH! Masterrrrrr! She bit me!

Dialogue 7 (If you have Koyanskaya of Light/Koyanskaya of Dark): In another life, in another time… A creature such as this took my face and my name… To think, there could be a creature that despises mankind to this degree. What a strange little animal indeed. Still, little bunny rabbit, I hope we can get along! Perhaps you can show me some of those little tools you have stowed away…

Dialogue 8 (If you have Summer Tamamo-no-Mae): Uuuu… Look at her strutting around without a care in the world, under that umbrella's shade. I wish I had a fancy little swimsuit like her… Eh? No? Why not? Master, why have you gone so pale?

Dialogue 9 (If you have any 'Chef' Servants): Tch. I still don't understand why I was immediately banned from the kitchen before I got to step inside. What's all this about my Noble Phantasm being 'a health code nightmare' and my cooking being 'flat-out horrific'. It tastes just fine to me!

I must admit though, there's nothing that tastes the same as a good home-cooked meal… Maybe I can find a way to sneak into the kitchen later.

Dialogue 10 (If you have Qin Shi Huang): The Emperor of the Lost Qin Dynasty… I heard they had some experiments done on the one who took my face. I wonder if they'd be willing to collaborate. I have some ideas I'd love to see in action, and if they're just as interested as I am in how the human body works, I'd love to be their consort for some time!

Dialogue 11 (If you have Carmilla): Hmmm… How strange. I feel some sort of connection with this vampire. And yet, despite all my travels, I never once stepped foot into Hungary. Perhaps she'd enjoy a meat bun.

Dialogue 12 (If you have Katsushika Hokusai): Hokusai, Hokusai… Ahhhhhh! That's the one who told my story, wasn't it? While I never read their accounts for myself, I must admit, I would love to see how one of the supposed greatest artists of human history works.

Dialogue 13 (If you have Xiang Yu, Katō Danzō, or Nezha): Ahhhh… So it seems that my hopes to make myself into a human does have some basis within humanity itself. I'm glad! I wonder what would happen if I tried to take them apart and see their inner workings… Ahahahaha! Maybe someday!

Dialogue 14 (If you have Dobrynya Nikitich): So… This is the person the 'other me' turned to as a parent? How cute… I feel strange around her though. Like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. This requires further analysis… Is what I would say if the 'other me' didn't expressly forbid me from talking to her for some odd reason.

Dialogue 15 (If you have Yù Tù): The Lunar Rabbit… Legend says she was once a mortal, before ascending to godhood and joining the Jade Court. …how strange, the look on her face.

Likes: What do I like? Ehehehe! Isn't it obvious? I love seeing humans and how they behave. I love trying to understand what humanity is, how humanity works, all of the utter mystery that is the human condition is something that I'm somewhat of a fanatic for!

Dislikes: What do I hate… Hmmmm… Well, I must admit, I don't like bowmen that much. While I do admit to knowing my way around a bow and arrow, I confess that the way that my body was eventually killed does make me wary…

About the Holy Grail: The Holy Grail… I heard it has the power to make the heart's desire manifest… I wonder, can it give me the humanity I dream of?

During an Event: Oooooooh, it appears there's a celebration of some sorts going on! Come on, Master, let's go! I have just the thing needed to make this interesting!

Birthday: Happy Birthday, Master! I heard that giving gifts is customary for this time, so here, I made you some of my famous dumplings! They're delicious, so please, take one! What's wrong? You look ill.

Profile:

Default: One of the most infamous monsters in all of China, Sū Dá Jǐ was famous for bringing down the Shang Dynasty with her wickedness and intellect. A monster among monsters, the one known as Dájǐ was the beloved consort of Zhòu Wáng and the feared monster that terrorized China. An inhuman creature incapable of feeling mercy, she ran rampant all across Asia under many names.

Bond Level 1: Height/Weight: 160cm • 49kg Source: Chinese History/Fēngshén Yǎnyì Region: China Alignment: Chaotic • Insane Gender: Female

"A fox borrows the tiger's might."

The Nine-Tailed Fox is an entity who does not exist in her own form. Rather, she steals the bodies of those around her, assimilating their minds into hers and using their skin to walk among them. Sū Dá Jǐ, Lady Kayō, Bāo Sì, Tamamo-no-Mae, at one point each of these women had the chance to live normal, ordinary lives. Of course, that all changed when the spirit of the fox happened upon them one day and stole their lives.

Bond Level 2: The Nine-Tailed Fox, despite her gruesome hobbies and mature appearance, is oddly childish in nature. She is as curious and as inquisitive as a child, always asking questions about how this or that works. If one doesn't answer her though, or if their answer doesn't satisfy her, she will always try and find the answer through the only way she knows how: dissection. Cut something open, and you'll figure out what's inside. That's just logic.

She does not care if what she cuts open is a stranger or her own Master. To her, everything is the same. Everything is something to learn from, and everything is something to be cut open. All one can do to avoid death at her hands is to placate her for as long as possible, even if it means sending another to their death in their stead.

Bond Level 3: A world of horrors she has amassed. The road of skulls, she makes her path. To a chorus of carnage, the dread fox laughs, And she drinks to the sound of your weeping.

That monster was once entombed in rock, But now thanks to you, she has been unlocked. Do you think that she'll ever be stopped? That company that you're keeping.

She fills your soul with endless dread, She feasts on your flesh as if it was bread, There's no point in struggling, you're already dead When the Fox has begun its reaping.

Bond Level 4: Across three nations, a single entity is shared as one of the most terrible monsters ever known. People speak in whispers of her cruelty and love for torture, a monster wearing human skin who relishes in the pain of others. Others speak of how she brought three different kings to disaster, driving nations to ruin as she stalked away without consequence. Others still speak of the dark magics she knew, a demon unparalleled that will destroy everything in her wake.

Looking at the spirit in person, then, is almost absurd at times. The earnest smile she gives to those around her, the genuine adoration as she observes people simply walking about and talking about their day. The endless curiosity as she asks people question after question. Seeing the contrast between Dájǐ the torturer who laughs at others’ suffering and Dájǐ the spirit who wishes to understand mankind, one almost can find themselves laughing. at the sheer impossibility of the existence before them. But the two exist, and they are at consensus thanks to one all-encompassing factor.

Love. Overwhelming, all-consuming, unconditional love.

Bond Level 5: What must it be like, being a creature who desires humanity without understanding it? What must it be like to look at a loving family, desiring what lay before their eyes while being completely incapable of comprehending what makes that sight before them so beautiful? What must it be like to be a creature who does not understand human concepts such as spite, or empathy, or even pain, and yet still seeks to make those concepts a part of her? What must it like to see humans through the eyes of a creature so completely alien?

Even killers understand the concept of laughter, even gods understand the meaning of pride, even phantoms can comprehend the idea of hatred. But not her. Never her.

So she tinkers. She tears herself apart, looking in at her own heart, only to find a deep, endless chasm. And she does not understand. So she does it again. And again. And again. All to be what she can never be, all to understand what she can never understand.

What a cruel trick of the gods, to force a mirror onto a creature with no face.

Extra (Clear Interlude “Ever Evolving”): The essence of humanity is its ability to evolve. As the times changes, so do people, whether it be their appearance, their beliefs, their education, their standing in life. Such is humanity. Likewise, such is nature. Animals and plants also evolve as time goes on, learning and adapting in order to survive the harsh environments they live in. It's simply the survival of the fittest in action.

But something must be different between the way humans evolve and the way animals evolve. There must be a difference in how humans act, how humans think, how humans are that led them to become the way they are. But what? Is it their biology? No, there's very little difference between a man and a mere pig if that would be the case. Is it their ability to use tools? No, a bird or a monkey could do the same thing.

I have to know… I have to know what humanity is! If I do… then maybe I can…

[yuusakufujiki]

people are always talking about their comfort shows/videos/etc and i was like Well i wouldn't know what that is because i don't know how to relax. and then i put on Over Nine Thousand Toasters after a long day at work.

[rememberthisham]

All He Ever Wanted Ch. 16

About five hours later Dib stretched his arms over his head. His back was mad at him for standing so hunched for so long but he'd done it. All nine hundred and eighty squares. All three thousand nine hundred and twenty corners were shocked and tested. It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, some did interesting things when tested. One of them made Zim start to hiccup. One of them rapidly opened and closed the four smaller panels on the PAK's shell while it was being shocked. One of them made a ding like a toaster oven and GIR shouted "Pie's done!"

Overall it was an interesting experience, and he'd gotten a lot faster at it the more he'd done. The only issue was the lack of one.

Every single node had responded as it was supposed to, there were no errors and no loose wires. Zim scratched at his arms in thought.

"If the wiring is flawless, as it should be, then the issue must lie in the gray matter." He reasoned. Dib furrowed his eyebrows. 

"Like the brain?"

"Similar," Zim responded simply. "Carefully twist the inside wall of the PAK clockwise, pressing just above where the wires are."

Dib did as instructed, surprised as the strip of the inner wall where the wires connected to the PAK clicked and slid clockwise until it could be slid up and out of the container. He lifted the wire mesh carefully out of the PAK on its hoop and set it aside. The underside of the square nodes he'd been testing all protruded with a larger wire, about the width of yarn, and ran back into the PAK. They were capped in insulating caps, much like rubber, that couldn't be disconnected from the…

The…

The very bottom layer of Zim's PAK appeared to be a brain. The delicate light green color was the only differentiation between it and the brains Dib was more familiar with. It was at the bottom and therefore the largest part of the PAK so it was significant in size. 

Something most people who aren't prodigy sons of scientists don't know is that the brain is not solid, it's not even gelatinous, it's liquid. More accurately it's snot-like in texture. A gross flemmy liquidly organ that fills the space of any container it's in. This brain filled the bottom of Zim's PAK and was about the size of a basketball if it were to be made round. It attached to the wire mesh through the yarn-like wires and appeared to connect to the reinforced rods that held Zim's PAK to his back. Dib stared in wonder at the pure science fiction of it. No wonder Zim was hesitant to share the secrets of his PAKs technology, it really was amazing.

"It's a brain," Dib said finally. Zim smiled to himself but made sure Dib didn't see.

 

"Yes, silly monkey, that is my PAK's brain. Make sure it's properly connected to the wires." Dib examined every rubber wire cap carefully in search of a breach or imperfection. There was nothing, it was perfect. Dib found the whole mechanism a little breathtaking.

"It's all good." He said finally and Zim growled in frustration.

"Your inferior eyes are missing something, check again." He hissed. Dib once again examined the wiring, tugging lightly to test and still finding nothing amiss.

"It's really fully connected." He reaffirmed. Zim balled his fists, raging in silence for a moment before calming himself. 

"What about the greater connection?" He asked.

"What's that?"

"Where it wires to my central column." He explained. Dib gingerly pulled the brain away from the edge of the PAK where it connected to Zim's back. There were wires there as well being fed through the tubes and directly into Zim's body.

"I'd have to take it off to see," Dib admitted.

"Very well." 

With some effort, Dib managed to reassemble the Pak's innards. He replaced the wire mesh carefully sliding it counterclockwise and clicking it back into position. He reassembled the tools and PAK legs, marveling one more time at how they all fit complexly and perfectly no matter what order he put them back in. He closed the panel on top and took a deep breath. 

"Now that I know what's in it, I don't wanna break it." He admitted. Zim huffed.

"When the exoskeleton is closed it's practically indestructible." The alien assured him. "Computer," Zim commanded, "set a timer for nine minutes and thirty seconds."

"If you say so…" the computer answered hesitantly. Carefully Dib removed the PAK from Zim in its entirety.

Dib set the PAK on the table and looked at the remaining metal socket embedded permanently in Zim's back.

If he knew his sockets, which the six-time international engineering and robotics champion had better, he knew these were wire sockets. Unsurprising with how many wires he'd encountered so far. They were an easy conduit for two sets of wires to attach and detach to each other at will. It was likely if not definite that the socket attached to wires in the inside of his body perfectly matched the ones coming from the brain so electrical pulses of information could be carried between the two.

"There's wires behind your exoskeleton?" He asked.

"Yes, they lead to Zim's brain." He answered. Dib hummed lightly.

"There's no problem with any of this machinery, if you really wanted to dig deeper I'd have to crack your skull open." He laughed. Zim pressed a button on his PAK and it extended its tubes from its attachment socket, automatically finding Zims back and reattaching itself. 

"You've been helpful, human." Zim dismissed his joke, a grim yet distracted expression overtaking his face. Dib crossed his arms and looked at the floor.

He really thought this would feel better. He thought finding out the mysteries of the PAK would make him feel satisfied in some way, but the failure to actually fix the problem just felt bitter, even if he didn't have a lot of stake in the issue, to begin with. He could look deeper into it if he could just get into Zim's head to see where those last few wires went, but that was absurd…

Wait.

"Actually," Dib got another idea that felt madder than the one that had gotten him here. 

"What is it now?" Zim spat, clearly just as bitter as Dib had been.

"I might not have to cut you open to keep trying, my dad's Lab has an MRI machine." He suggested lightly. Zim narrowed his eyes in unvoiced confusion. "It stands for Magnetic…uh…magnetic something imaging. I wanna say radiation but I know that's not it." He explained. "It uses magnetic waves to make an image of someone's brain for study. It might help give us some insight into whether or not your problem's all the way in your head." He finished. Zim put his hands on his hips and thought. He was over getting help from the human but he was also running out of options. If he couldn't figure this out he'd never get his position in life back. He didn't like Dib or his Lab and he wasn't going to just voluntarily return to where he'd been imprisoned and threatened with vivisection.

"You're crazy if you think I'm going to go with you into your weird…human liar." He decided. Dib had to admit that was fair. He thought about the way he'd trapped Zim and felt momentary embarrassment for what he'd done. How he thought he was saving the world. How he thought his dad's little home lab would intimidate an intergalactic mad scientist. Zim had been rescued by his minions, perhaps a little insurance would make him more comfortable?

"How about this time you bring GIR and Minimoose? As a show of good faith?" He suggested tentatively. Zim stuck out his lip and thought hard about the offer.

"That would be…fractionally more acceptable." He admitted. "We leave immediately!"

"What?" Dib panicked this time, why did he think Zim wouldn't want to go right away?

"No, we can't go now."

"Explain!"

"My da–"

EXPLAIN!"

"...My dad's home right now so I can't use his lab." He said. Zim leaned back at the waist, letting his arms dangle behind him.

"The monarch…" he scowled to himself.

"He…" Dib remembered a recent conversation with relief. "He leaves next week for Tokyo, we can do it then." He promised.

"I see." Zim closed his eyes and stared simply. "I guess I'll see you some time next week then."

"Good–"

"Now GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

Next

[jolgan]

Something Wicked Comes to Stay

Intro/Summary

Prologue

Chapter 1 

Rating: T

Warnings: teenagers making out, demons, knives, identity crises (plural), existentialism, strong language at times, violence (teenagers attacking each other in a controlled environment, mentions of gang violence, oh yeah, demons), Teen Angst and other dumb teenage bs

Word Count: 5.8k

Chapter: 3/?

A/N: I’m still experimenting with narration so if there’s inconsistencies or things seem awkward that’s why and I’m sorry. Also character descriptions... Sorry about those too. 

Chapter 2

Waves lapped at CeCe’s ankles, feet sinking further into the sand as she stared across the water. She could tell it was the ocean because of the salty brine in the air, even though the passage of water itself was narrow. On the opposite beach, a dark figure stared back at her from across the waves. She couldn’t tell anything about them, other than they were looking at her. This may have made her uncomfortable if it wasn’t something she’d seen before. Instead, it just left her frustrated.

A high-pitched beeping snapped CeCe from the beach. She opened her eyes and sighed. After a moment or two of staring at the ceiling she rolled over to turn off her alarm. She groaned, wishing she could go back to sleep, but it was the first day of school and she needed to get ready. She glanced toward the window as she got out of bed. It was pitch black out, not even four a.m. yet. CeCe yawned as she headed for the bathroom, thinking back to her dream.

She had been dreaming of the same beach since she was little. Before that, actually. Her mother dreamed of it when she was pregnant with her. The dreams started out as just the ocean, CeCe standing in the sand looking out across the vast expanse of the sea. Progressively, the ocean got smaller and another beach appeared. A while after that, the figure became visible, standing across from her. Although she had the same dream for her entire existence, she had no idea what it meant. No one else had any explanation for her either, other than it was probably linked with her powers. But she could have worse dreams she supposed. Some people might have even found them soothing, but they left her slightly unsettled at the lack of answers and made her feel like she kind of had to pee.

After getting ready for school, CeCe went downstairs to find something quick for breakfast. She was surprised to find both her parents in the kitchen waiting for her, but it made her smile that even though she was seventeen now, and perfectly capable of getting herself out the door, they still wanted to see her off on the first day of the new year. Wyatt sat at the table, scrolling through his news app and sipping coffee. Her mother, Melanie, poured her own cup and walked to the table to sit across from her husband.  

“You didn’t have to get up this early,” CeCe told them as she entered the kitchen, but they both ignored her statement.

“Good morning sweetie. Did you have good dreams?” Her mother asked

“Wet ones,” CeCe answered. She closed her eyes, immediately regretting what she just said. Luckily her parents ignored the double entendre. She was glad she didn’t say that in front of Chloe.

“The ocean again?” Wyatt asked. CeCe nodded in response. “Any new developments?”

CeCe shook her head this time. “No, it’s still just a dark figure standing across from me.”

“You’ll figure out what it all means soon,” Melanie assured her with an eerie tone in her voice. She always responded that way when it came to subjects like this one. It must come from experience; they did have the same power after all.

CeCe pondered what her mother meant as she put a pop tart in the toaster.

“It’s just frustrating. I’ve been having these dreams for as long as I can remember, but I still know nothing about them. It doesn’t make any sense. I wish I had more control.” She complained as she joined her parents at the table. She took a bite of her breakfast while Melanie spoke.

“I know, honey. Someday you’ll be in full control of your powers and it will be easier. But even then, you’ll only know what you’re supposed to in the moment.”  

CeCe knew her mother was right, but it didn’t make it any easier to accept. She echoed this thought in her words, “I know, Mom. But it would still be nice to have all the answers.”

Melanie chuckled and reached for CeCe’s hand. She squeezed it as she said, “But then there would be no adventure in life.”

CeCe finished her breakfast, hugged both her parents, and exchanged “I love you’s.”

“Be safe,” Wyatt called as CeCe was surrounded by white light and disappeared from the kitchen.

Magic School was on its own plane of existence. The specifics of this plane were unknown to most people, but it didn’t really matter. Everyone who needed to know how to get there did, and only those with pure intentions were allowed through the barrier. At least that’s how the Elder’s explained it. The school itself existed for thousands of years at this point and not much about it changed in all that time. Aesthetically, at least. The sun was shining when CeCe passed through the barrier. She landed on the cobblestone path and looked up fondly at the timeless school. The architecture was both ancient and modern and it was huge, no one alive today knew exactly how big it was. CeCe was grateful she got to go to school in such a beautiful place. She smiled to herself as she walked along the path to the tree that she and her friends had made their designated meeting place.

The three boys were already there when she arrived. Adam was sitting on the grass with a portable game console in his hands, fluffy, bleach blonde waves obscured his forehead and much of his eyes. Leaning against his back, was another bleach blonde boy, but his hair was straight and had longer, darker roots than Adam, giving it more of a two-toned look. The two boys had a similar build, both of about average height, or maybe even considered on the shorter side, and more wiry than anything else. The second boy was staring intently at the console he held in his hands. Laying in the grass front of them, was a smaller boy with wild red hair.

CeCe yawned a good morning and sat down next to the red head. “Why does school have to start so early? It’s not even five a.m. my time,” she said to no one in particular.

“How do you think Shoyo feels?” Adam questioned, barely looking up from his game. “It’s nine p.m. his time.”

CeCe looked at the red head next to her. “Are you gonna be okay today, Sho?” she asked.

The smaller boy, Shoyo, opened his eyes and squinted against the light. He stifled a yawn and smiled. “I’ll be okay. I started switching my sleep schedule around last week.”

CeCe smiled back and turned her head to address the other blonde boy. “What about you, Kenma? Ready for a new year?” she teased.

“I guess,” he answered, still fully invested in whatever game he and Adam were playing.

CeCe met Kenma Kozume four years ago when they were in the same class and got paired together for a project. Kenma is quiet and reserved and CeCe enjoyed being around him. His presence introduced a much calmer energy to the chaotic atmosphere that surrounded her and her cousins at the time. It was a classic mischievous, extrovert adopts unassuming, introvert situation. They got along well despite the differences in their personalities and eventually became very close. When CeCe introduced Kenma to her cousins, unsurprisingly, he and Adam hit it off rather quickly. They had a few commonalities and bonded over them. One of them being their interest in video games, another being that Adam was perceived as the least erratic of the Halliwell trio. Chloe, however, was a different story. They got along well enough, but their personalities clashed at times. Although Kenma was much quieter than the Halliwells, and based on the reputation that surrounded them, it didn’t seem to outsiders like he’d fit in, but he did. And much to his own chagrin, he enjoyed their energy.

Shoyo Hinata, however, visibly fit right in with the group. He was friendly and energetic. Shoyo was the newest addition and the youngest. He had only been a student at Magic School for two years, but when they met, Kenma and Shoyo took to each other right away. Soon after, Kenma introduced him to the cousins. They all loved his happy-go-lucky personality and welcomed him with open arms.

“Why aren’t you playing, Shoyo?” CeCe asked, gesturing to the console in Kenma’s hands.

“My mom won’t let me have one. She says they rot your brain,” he answered earnestly.

“How old fashioned,” Adam commented before swearing. “Damn it, Kenma! Again?”

Kenma shrugged. “No need to get sweaty about it, Adam. It’s just a game.”

“This is the fourth one I’ve lost this morning!” Adam complained.

“Guess I’m just built different,” Kenma deadpanned.

CeCe leaned closer to Shoyo. “I see what she means,” she said in a mock whisper. Her comment caused the younger boy to erupt into a fit of giggles and her cousin to whip his head around and glare at her with icy blue eyes. She smirked and cleared her throat. “Anyone seen Chloe yet?” she asked the group.

“She and Celine got here a little while before you did. They went inside already.” Adam told her, still glaring slightly.

“They seemed tense,” Kenma commented.

“They never argue verbally,” CeCe explained, knowing exactly what he sensed.

“I can understand where Celine is coming from. Chloe is a bit overprotective of her,” Adam empathized for his younger cousin.

Celine was Chloe’s younger sister and it was her first day back at Magic School since integration. Understandably, Chloe was worried for Celine’s safety and wellbeing and she let everyone know.

“Wait, how do they argue if it’s not out loud?” Shoyo wondered.

“They’re both empaths,” Kenma answered.

“No need for words when you know exactly what the other is feeling,” CeCe added.

Shoyo looked intrigued and then shuddered slightly, like he came to a realization.

The bell rang, cutting off any further discussion. The group collected their belongings and headed toward the entrance of the school. CeCe’s mind wandered as they walked, passing other groups of students. In the two years that passed since demons started coming to Magic School, tensions had settled. The transition was understandably rocky in the beginning, both sides butting heads frequently, but eventually they adjusted, and settled into their new reality. Some students had even made friends with their new classmates. Every now and then there was still a scuffle, but disciplinary actions were taken, and things were seemingly resolved.

At the front entrance of the school, glimmering marble steps lead up to a pair of giant wooden doors that were visibly ancient. Other students rushed around them, trying to make it to class on time. Once inside the school, the group of friends said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. Adam and Kenma joined hands and orbed to their first period class which they had together. “See you in fourth period?” CeCe asked Shoyo. He nodded with a grin and they too headed to first period.

The first half of the day flew by. CeCe had magical literature, potions, and lunch by herself, which she was used to. The administration learned early on in their education to not put any of the Halliwells in the same classes. This was a bit irritating now that they were maturing beyond their mischievous childhoods, but they understood that they created a reputation for themselves, and now they had to live with that.

Fourth period finally came along. CeCe was currently sitting in “Theory of Practical Healing” a class for half-whitelighters who haven’t awakened their healing abilities yet. She listened to the teacher drone on about how “You need to have enough compassion in your heart to be able to heal others.” CeCe rolled her eyes internally. She knew what it took to gain the ability to heal, if you were going to anyway. She shook the thought away and looked over her shoulder at Shoyo, who to her surprise, was listening intently and taking notes on what the teacher had to say. The more she thought about it, it made sense that this class would be able to hold his attention better than another subject. Shoyo was a born-whitelighter. This meant that one of his parents, in this case his father, was a whitelighter who fell in love with a mortal and had a child. There were a couple of them around, but it was a rare thing. Most of the other students in the class were half-whitelighter (or quarter in CeCe’s case), half-witch. After sitting for what seemed like way longer than an hour and twenty minutes, the class ended.

“Do you have a free period now, Sho?” she asked the red head as they packed up their materials. Before he could answer, they were interrupted by another student that was still in the classroom.

“Hey Hey, Hinata!” a big guy, both tall and muscular, with spiky gray hair exclaimed as he bounded up behind Shoyo and threw an arm over his shoulder. “Halliwell,” he added with a smile and nod in her direction. CeCe smiled back.

“Hey, Bokuto,” Shoyo greeted.

“Did you guys have a good summer?” Bokuto asked. Both CeCe and Shoyo told him they did. “That’s great to hear! Let me know if you need anything! I gotta go meet up with Akaashi,” he said, unwinding himself from the much smaller boy.

“How are you guys doing?” CeCe asked before he left.

With a dreamy look in his eyes, a dopey smile slowly spread across his face. “We’re great, thanks for asking,” he said before sobering up. “Alright, I’ll catch you guys later,” he said as he orbed off to find his boyfriend.

“They’re so cute,” CeCe commented, mostly to herself. “Anyway, you wanna come to the library with me?” she asked Shoyo.

The library was close enough to the classroom they were in, so they decided to walk and chat. CeCe asked Shoyo what he did over vacation since she hadn’t seen him since his birthday at the end of June. He explained that the school year was a bit different in Japan, and summer break was a lot shorter than what they had at Magic School, so he was pretty much home alone during the day for the first part of their summer.  He told her about how he took care of his little sister, Natsu and kept her entertained while their mother was at work. He also told her all about his friend Kageyama and how they practiced volleyball together for the rest of the break. Curiosity struck CeCe about how Shoyo managed to keep friends outside of Magic School and magic in general.

“Where does your friend think you go to school?” she asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“Oh, uh, he thinks I go to an international school that my dad managed to get me into,” he told her. “It’s not exactly a lie, but it still sucks that I can’t tell him the real truth,” he said, sadly.

CeCe looked down, nodding sympathetically. She didn’t realize her question would make him sad and she kind of wished she kept her mouth shut.

“But hey!” he said quickly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t think Kageyama would believe me even if I could tell him. And honestly, I don’t think he thinks I’m smart or creative enough to come up with any of this on my own. He’d probably think I just got it from a movie or something,” he chuckled awkwardly.

“I’m sorry, Shoyo,” she said sincerely.

He brushed off her apology with a wave. “It’s not a big deal, really,” he smiled, though it wasn’t as bright as usual.

They walked silently for a while. CeCe thought about how Shoyo didn’t find out he was magical until he was thirteen and how he used to lead a completely different life. Since she was raised magical, she couldn’t imagine how it would feel to have her life totally uprooted like that. From stories that Grams would tell, she knew that it was really difficult to maintain relationships with people who didn’t and couldn’t know about magic. She felt terrible that Shoyo had to keep so much of himself hidden from his friend, especially when they seemed like they were pretty close. Under the sympathy she felt for her friend, she was also a bit irritated with him. If she had known that he was alone for most of the summer, she would have asked him to hang out more. It’s not like she couldn’t orb to Japan and be back in time for dinner. But she felt like she had already done enough damage, so she kept that irritation to herself. A few more moments of silence passed between the two before Shoyo broke it, saying he was going to use the rest room and he’d meet up with her at the library.

CeCe continued down the hall, hoping that she didn’t upset Shoyo as badly as she was afraid she had. She pulled out her phone to distract herself. She had a text from her dad. “Hey, sweetheart,” It read, “We’re going to be having family dinner tonight at the house. Your Aunt Melinda is back in town.” As her eyes scanned over Melinda’s name, she felt her body being pulled forward. She blinked and when she opened her eyes again, instead of being in the hallway at school, she was standing in her attic in front of the Book of Shadows. It was open to a page with “Akuma” written across the top with Chinese characters underneath it, but she couldn’t see any other details on the page.

“I don’t know, kid. I’d ask Grams about that. She would know better than me,” Melinda told her.

CeCe felt herself walk into something large and hard. The “object” grunted. The noise dragged her back to the present. “I am so sorry,” she apologized, “I-,” she was going to explain, but the words died on her lips as she looked up and was met with a cold, hard glare. It was a demon boy. He was at least a foot taller than her. Based on how it felt when she walked into him, she inferred that he was in excellent shape. He had wavy, black hair and cold, black eyes. The rest of his features were hidden beneath a cloth mask, except for two moles stacked on top of each other over his right eyebrow. Under other circumstances, she might find them unique and maybe even attractive. But right now, she was intimidated. She felt herself shrink under his gaze.

“Watch it, witch” a masculine voice said from her right. She didn’t look to see who it had come from.

Neither CeCe, nor the boy she walked into said anything. He continued to glare at her and she stared back, not wanting to let her guard down, but she also felt frozen, like she couldn’t look away.

“Come on, Omi,” a feminine voice whined. She tugged on the demon’s right hand. He pulled it from her grasp, his glare shifting from CeCe to the other girl. Finally, he stepped around CeCe and continued down the hall with his group.

“Witches, man,” The other boy said.

The dark-haired demon ignored him though and chose to address the other girl instead.

“I have repeatedly asked you not to touch me,” he told her, bitterly.

CeCe remained in the spot he left her. Her mind swam as she tried to process everything that happened in the last two minutes. On top of the confusion she felt about the premonition, she was mortified. She felt betrayed by her powers and body. How could she keep moving if she wasn’t mentally present?

“Are you okay, CeCe?” Shoyo asked as he jogged up behind her. His voice helped shake her out of her internal struggle.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she responded. “Demons are rude as hell.” Shoyo snorts at her joke, that being enough to convince him she was alright. She offered a small smile and they continued to the library.

Kenma and Chloe were already there by the time they arrived. They sat together at a round table in the far corner of the room. Chloe seemed anxious, nerves rolling off her in waves CeCe could feel from across the room, even without being an empath herself. Kenma did his best to ignore her, opting to focus on a game instead.

“Have you had any premonitions today?” Chloe asked CeCe before she could even sit down and say hello.

CeCe was taken aback by her cousin’s question. How’d she know? she thought to herself.

“Uh… about what?” she asked out loud. She felt Kenma’s gaze shift to her curiously.

“Celine!” Chloe shouted impatiently, the outburst earning her dirty looks from students at surrounding tables. She lowered her voice when she continued, “It’s her first day and I’m so worried about her. I haven’t had any either.”

“Well, if you haven’t had a premonition about her I’m sure that means she’s fine right?” CeCe reasoned.

“No, that doesn’t mean she’s fine at all!” Chloe raised her voice again.

The boys stayed quiet and let CeCe try to calm her cousin.

“Chloe,” CeCe said in her most soothing tone. “I’m sure Celine is fine. It’s not like she’s never been here before and she knows how to get to us if she needs help.”

Her words were not enough to douse Chloe’s anxieties.

“She’s never been here with demons before! I’m gonna go find her,” Chloe vanished in pinkish-red light, not even bothering to get up before beaming to find her sister.

With that discussion over, Kenma piped up.

“So, what was it about?” he asked CeCe nonchalantly.

“What was what about?” she asked, confused about what he meant.

“Your premonition. You only asked, ‘about what.’ You never said you didn’t have one.”

In their four years of friendship, CeCe still couldn’t get over how perceptive Kenma was. It was kind of unnerving at times, how he knew so much more than other people did just by paying more attention to small details.  

She sighed. “Uh, I was in the attic at home, talking to my aunt. Nothing special,” she shrugged.

Kenma seemed satisfied with that answer until Shoyo asked, “Is that why you walked into that guy, CeCe?”

She groaned. She hadn’t realized Shoyo saw that much of the unfortunate interaction.

Kenma snorted “You walked into someone? Who?” he asked.

Shoyo answered for her, “Those really tall Japanese guys. The demonic ones. I was afraid they were gonna kill her.”

“Oh yeah, those guys are jerks,” Kenma agreed. “You okay?” he asked CeCe.

“Just a bit humiliated,” she huffed. She was jealous of Chloe’s premonitions. They were more like flashes of the future instead of actually going there. Chloe also had way more control of them than CeCe did. She didn’t walk into people in the middle of them, for instance. CeCe searched for a way to change the subject and remembered the text from her dad. “Do you want to come to family dinner tonight?” she asked both boys.

“No thanks, I can only take so much of your family,” Kenma declined.

“That’s fair. What about you, Sho?”

“Oh, I would, but I have plans with Kageyama later,” the red head answered.  “Thank you, though,” he said with a smile.

“Sure,” she smiled back.

The three students settled into a comfortable silence, only breaking it to ask each other a question about assignments they were working on. CeCe tried desperately to not think about the debacle in the hallway. She couldn’t help but think about her premonition though. How random was that? CeCe hated the visions that gave her no context. She wondered if it would have been longer if she hadn’t walked into that guy.

Shoyo’s voice interrupted her thoughts when he asked Kenma what a certain kanji meant. Cece knew the book would be written in perfect English when she looked at it, but she glanced at the page anyway. That was another cool thing about Magic School, and what made it so easy for them to educate magical students from all over the world. Students heard and read their native language no matter where they were within the plane. Sometimes it tripped CeCe out to think that when she spoke to Kenma, for example, he heard Japanese even though she was speaking English and vice versa.

A nagging feeling ate at CeCe as she thought about her premonition and the characters on the page in the Book of Shadows. “Hey Kenma? Do you know anything about who or what Akuma is?” she asked when he was done answering Shoyo’s question.

Kenma’s face fell slightly and he was quiet for a moment. He cleared his throat before he answered, “Uh yeah, he’s a demon, based in Japan. He mostly works above ground now. He seems to be heavily involved with organized crime these days.”

Cece felt like there was something he was leaving out, but she didn’t pry. She knew he would tell her when he was comfortable enough, he always did. “That was part of my vision,” she explained. “I was looking at his page in the book.”

Kenma nodded his understanding and the group fell back into silence, working on their various assignments. Around ten minutes before the end of the period, Chloe returned. She walked back to their table and sat down. She looked both flustered and slightly more relaxed.

“I embarrassed her.” She said sheepishly.

“What did you do?” CeCe asked accusingly.

“I may or may not have beamed directly into her classroom.” Chloe admitted after a moment of hesitation. “I got chewed out for interrupting her professor’s lecture on exposure. Then he used me as an example.”

“Is Celine okay?” CeCe asked, more for Chloe’s sake than Celine’s.

“Oh yeah, she’s fine. She probably just won’t talk to me for the rest of the day,” Chloe told her. “What classes do you guys have next?”

Shoyo answered first and told her he had Wiccan History. Chloe smiled brightly.

“So does Celine!” Of course she memorized her sister’s schedule as well as her own. “Would you keep an eye on her for me?” she asked him very seriously as she ran a hand through her thick, dark hair, her smile turning saccharine.

Shoyo cleared his throat and agreed, a hint of pink tinged his cheeks.

“You are the best, Shoyo,” Chloe praised, while she made direct eye contact with the younger boy. Her soft, brown eyes bored into his. Shoyo’s blush deepened and he looked like his brain might short circuit.

“Chloe,” CeCe said her name like a warning.

Chloe tore her eyes from the bright red, red head and turned her focus back to CeCe and Kenma.

“What about you guys?” she asked, tone shifting slightly. Kenma rolled his eyes at her.

“Kenma and I have something called “Tactical Magic,”’ CeCe said. “Whatever that is.”

Chloe scrunched up her face. “What the hell? Are they gonna use you guys to raise an army or something?”

“I guess we’ll find out,” CeCe shrugged.

Kenma and CeCe walked to class together silently. He always found it easier to keep his mouth shut around Chloe, only speaking to her when she asked him something directly, but this seemed different. CeCe wondered if there was some lingering tension from the Akuma conversation.

They walked into a large, airy classroom. It was located in one of the towers, so the far wall of the room was curved, making it a semi-circle. All the desks were pushed to either side of the room leaving a large open space in the middle. They were instructed to remain standing as they entered. Murmurs from other students filled the room. They mostly asked each other if anyone knew what this class was about.

The bell rang and two men came to stand in front of the class. CeCe recognized one as Takeda, a whitelighter and the school’s counselor of sorts. He had curly, black hair and brown eyes. He wore thick framed glasses and a soft, approachable expression. The other man was almost the total opposite of Takeda. He was taller and broader than the counselor and had blonde hair that was held out of his face by a headband. He had multiple piercings in his ears. Overall, he looked like someone you might cross the street to avoid. This guy was clearly a demon.

The demon spoke first. “Hello, welcome to Tactical Magic. My name is Ukai and I’m going to be your instructor for this class.”  Takeda cleared his throat from beside his counterpart. Ukai rolled his eyes and added, “Takeda is here in case you wanna drop the class or if you end up with emotional trauma, I guess.”

“I’m here to make students more comfortable,” Takeda corrected.

“Right,” Ukai snorted. He inhaled to continue speaking but acknowledged a student who had their hand raised instead. “Yes?”

“What is this class about?” the student asked.

“I was getting to that before I was interrupted,” Ukai told the student. “This course is to evaluate and develop how you fight against the opposite side.”

A beat of silence filled the classroom before a wave of voices crashed over them, all varying degrees of confusion and outrage in their tone.

“So, you’re teaching them to kill us?” a voice asked from behind CeCe. She couldn’t tell whether its owner was a witch or a demon. It didn’t matter at this point.

CeCe looked at Kenma, his amber eyes slightly wider than usual. She took his hand and squeezed gently. He looked at her, his features relaxing slightly.

“What do the Elders have to say about this?” another student asked.

Concerned chatter from other students continued to fill the room until Takeda finally regained control.

“Alright, enough,” he said sternly, surprising some students with his tone. “The Elders developed this course to provide a controlled environment to teach you all to defend yourselves outside of this plane. This is meant to keep you safe. All of you,” he said pointedly.

The students processed the whitelighter’s words and the meaning behind them. They eventually settled down and silence fell over the room. Ukai glanced gratefully at Takeda before he spoke once again.

“Today we are going to do an exercise to get a feel for your individual strengths and weaknesses,” he said, getting right into it. “I’ve already paired you off, one demon or warlock, one witch. You’ll have two minutes to do your best to subdue your partner. Powers and hand to hand combat are both allowed, but no weapons.” Then his tone changed, “It really is a shame they don’t allow them anymore. They used to have a bitchin’ selection.”

Takeda shot him a weird look.

Ukai cleared his throat and called the first pair of names. The two students walked to the center of the room and faced each other from opposite ends of the open space. The instructor set a timer for two minutes and told them to begin. When their two minutes were up, the round ended with the demonic student as the winner. The next two names were called. This went on for a couple of rounds, sometimes the witch won, sometimes the demon. As CeCe watched the other students spar, she tried to come up with a plan of her own. She decided that simply freezing her opponent and anything they threw at her would be sufficient. Another pair of names were called. When their round began, CeCe looked over at Kenma again. He seemed like he had relaxed, his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, watching the other students spar. Kenma shouldn’t have any trouble with this exercise. He may have seemed unassuming, but he was one of the most powerful students at Magic School. He had the power of thought projection, meaning he could create images and show whatever he wanted to whomever he wanted. It made him formidable, but also put him in danger.

“Kozume, Kuro, you’re up,” Ukai called.

Kenma walked to the center of the room with his hands still in his pockets. His opponent, Kuro looked familiar to CeCe. She had seen him around a lot in the last year, hanging out with Bokuto. She was pretty sure he was a warlock. He was tall and had jet black hair that he wore in an interesting style. He looked like one of those “scene” kids Aunt Melinda used to talk about.

“Begin,” Ukai told them as he started their timer.

“Let’s see what you can do,” Kuro said in a rather cocky tone.

Before he could take even a half a step forward, or blink, Kuro’s eyes glazed over. He was already trapped in Kenma’s illusion. Kenma stood the same way he had been before the match started, hands in his pockets, looking at Kuro. Neither of the boys moved for the full two minutes. Kuro couldn’t have fought his way out of the projection if he wanted to. Finally, the timer went off and Kenma let Kuro free.

“Uh, okay… Kozume, good job I guess,” Ukai said, not really sure about what just happened.

Kenma walked back to CeCe and reclaimed his place beside her. Kuro stared after him with glassy eyes for a moment before he too walked back to where he had been standing in the group.

Cece leaned closer to Kenma. “What did you show him?” she whispered.

“The meadow,” he answered simply.

Ah, the meadow. She thought back to the first time Kenma had shown her the meadow when they were fourteen. It was gorgeous. Bright sunshine and pretty wildflowers surrounded her. There was a crystal-clear brook that babbled in the distance. The main attraction, however, was the guy that joined her. It was that one guy from that one band. The cute one with the swoopy hair. She smiled to herself as she thought about it now. That was the point of the meadow, to show you your greatest love or biggest crush and distract you with them. Kenma couldn’t see who they were though. To him it was just a white figure.

CeCe was jolted out of her happy memory by Ukai’s voice calling her name.

“Halliwell, Sakusa, your turn.”

A nervous pit that wasn’t there before settled in CeCe’s stomach. She walked to the center of the room and saw her opponent. Dread washed over her as she looked into the same cold stare from earlier. It was the boy from the hallway. The one she walked into. Well, this should be interesting, she thought to herself.

“Halliwell, huh? This should be interesting,” his deep voice rumbled through her, mirroring her sentiments.

[fandom-necromancer]

Let’s write together: Heart Reset

Chapter 1 - Substitute Detectives

Featuring:

@aurea-b with “Don’t tell me you watched me sleep all night.” @thetruefor3stspirit with “Not gonna lie... I’d die for these soft tiddies.” @rufina72 and Spirit with “Gavin’s cat” & “Reed900 cats” A baguette with “Ralph” @sparklingrainbowdragon with “Ralph/Jerrys” An anon with “Connor/Chloe” (more of them in chapter 3) an anon with “Gavin accidentally puts salt into his coffee. Drinks full cup without flinching” an anon with “Maybe an old friend/ ex from Gavin or Nines appears and causes drama™️” (more of him throughout the story)

Thank you all  so much for participating!

[Chapter 2]

-

Gavin was awoken far too early by his alarm clock. He pulled a grimace and groaned: ‘Phhhck.’ Without looking he tried to slap the damn thing off, only succeeding in weakly flopping his arm on his bedside table, annoying the cat sleeping on his chest. Still, the alarm stopped right then. ‘I love to watch your praised Detective brain work’, came the chuckled comment to that from his side. ‘Hey, tin-can, if you can hack my clock, why don’t you wake me up instead?’ ‘Oh, that’s an easy one. I love the way you scrunch up your face being all grumpy.’ ‘Hmm, yeah, I know I’m pretty.’ Gavin smiled sleepily, still not wanting to open his eyes. ‘You do that a few times in your sleep too. It’s cute.’ ‘Hmm, yeah, I’m phcking cute- wait what?’ That made him sit up and actually look at the android next to him. The cat, finally irritated enough, ran off towards the kitchen ‘Don’t tell me you watched me sleep all night.’ ‘Am I not allowed to admire my perfect human?’, Nines asked faking his hurt. ‘Nah, you are allowed to. Just don’t be creepy.’ ‘Oh yes? Well, if I may remind you of the time I was in stasis and you woke me up hugging me and telling me-‘ ‘No, I don’t want to hear it!’, Gavin laughed, covering his face in embarrassment. But Nines knew no mercy. ‘Telling me, and I quote: Not gonna lie... I’d die for these soft tiddies ?’ ‘I was super drunk this evening coming home from the bar with Tina, okay? Alcohol does these things to you.’ Nines just shrugged and got up. ‘Come on, we have to go to work.’ ‘Don’t remind me…’ ‘I’ll make you something to eat.’ ‘Thanks.’

They got to work perfectly punctual, as always. Ever since Nines took over their schedule, they wouldn’t be a minute late unless something happened. He had argued with Gavin so many times, he was tired of it by now and just complied. The toaster had good intentions after all, and Gavin knew he just liked to complain. The downside of this was that people knew when they would arrive and especially those earlier than them seemed to love bothering them when they just got there. One of these people was Connor.

Gavin had just put his jacket over the back of his chair while Nines downloaded the latest progress, when he practically felt the RK800’s eyes fall on him. ‘I’m off to the breakroom, puppy is coming and I need my coffee before that.’ Nines looked up and saw Connor stand up. ‘I’m coming with you.’ They escaped the android for approximately one more minute by this manoeuvre. Gavin had started filling the machine with water and waited for it to cook, while Nines watched him. ‘Ah, good to see you! Good morning to you two! I actually searched for you.’ ‘You mean you waited for us to arrive and the moment we were at our desks you struck?’, Nines corrected him, making Gavin smile to himself. ‘Maybe? Anyways, I need your help. So, me and Hank got this case and…’ Gavin sighed as Connor rambled on, pushing the button of the machine that made it spit out his life elixir, only half-heartedly listening. It was still too early in the morning for such talks. ‘and we have reviewed all evidence, we know nearly everything already, we only need to arrest him when we have enough evidence. And both of that will be possible a days from now, at the theme park just outside Detroit. I planned talking to some contacts at New Jericho who worked there, then plan a trap, but…’ ‘But?’ ‘Well, me and Chloe have our anniversary on that day and… Well I promised her to be there. Why did Browns have to choose that night for it?’

That made both Gavin and Nines give him his full attention, as they both asked simultaneously: ‘You are with Chloe?’ ‘Browns? Jayden Browns?’ Connor looked at them a bit surprised. He answered Nines first: ‘Well yeah, we met at Kamski’s villa before the revolution but after that a few times more and it just worked.’ ‘Honestly I thought you would tend more to Hank…’ ‘Wha- No! I see him more of a dad, I think. And yes, Gavin his first name is Jayden, how did you know?’ ‘Oh, nothing’, he brushed it off, taking his cup and taking a sip just to nearly spit it out. His eyes darted to the two shakers. Were they… Yes. Who the hell had switched sugar and salt around? But damn it, Connor was here, looking at him. And Gavin would never admit and error to the android and pointedly drunk the whole cup without flinching. ‘Old friend of mine’, he choked out. ‘Really? Well, that’s even better then! Because I really need you to take this case over for me.’ ‘What?’, Nines asked. ‘Why?’ ‘My date with Chloe? Also, you are way better suited with Gavin knowing our suspect! Come on, I’ll owe you one. Please?’ Nines looked over to Gavin, who nodded. ‘Fine, we’ll help you out. But just so you know, we’ll take all the credit, too.’ ‘Yes! Thank you so much! I’ll transfer all data we have so far to you!’

And with that he was off, leaving both of them standing in the breakroom. ‘Why did you accept?’, Nines asked. ‘We don’t have an active case at the moment. Also, Connor owing us? Can’t let that chance pass.’ ‘Quick thinking. Did you know you poured salt in your coffee?’ ‘I know.’ ‘Did you know Connor saw it too and chugging it did nothing to mask the error as we are not human?’ ‘I know!’ ‘I admire your stubbornness.’ ‘I know. Come on, let’s go read up on our new case.’

-

New Jericho, the apartment complex given to Markus after the revolution, wasn’t that far from the precinct. The drive there still felt overly long with the lingering silence neither of them knew how to break. It was Nines in the end, who prodded: ‘Who is the suspect, your “old friend”, really? You know him well.’ Gavin ducked his head. ‘Urgh, he’s an ex of mine. Don’t ask. I had a bullshit taste before you came along. Just… I mean I knew he could easily turn to illegal stuff, but mostly with androids and I didn’t care about your kind back then and-‘ ‘It’s okay.’ ‘It really isn’t, I should have turned him in earlier, even if it was just for property damage. But I was more focussed on getting away from him I guess.’ Nines could tell his human was uncomfortable talking about it. ‘He really wasn’t a good pick when even I realised it back then…’ ‘Well, you get your chance to arrest him now’, Nines said, trying to be comforting. ‘Yeah, right. Still can’t believe the idiot made it that far.’

It was impressive really. Jayden had been many things, but not intelligent. According to Connor’s research though, he had gotten his hands on data that could threaten all of androidkind. They didn’t know what it was exactly yet, but every goon they had managed to catch and interrogate had made a point in bragging about what was coming. Apparently, it would change the world as they knew it. Knowing the man, Gavin was sure though that that was an exaggeration. Maybe Jayden was convinced of it, but if he got his hands on it it couldn’t be that much of a danger. Whatever it would turn out to be though, Jayden was trying to sell it to the highest bidder and from what Connor had found out, the sum that was offered could make a man rich easily. The data would be handed over at exactly seven pm in tomorrow over at ArcaneWorld, a closed amusement park. The website stated it was closed for renovations, but Nines had found out the site hadn’t been updated in three years and the park had lost all investors. The owner had vanished mysteriously, likely because of the amount of debt the park had collected. But that would be a case for another time, now they needed to find out where exactly their suspects would meet on the roughly twenty-thousand square metre big areal.

‘You know, on a completely other point, I have never been to New Jericho. Do they even accept humans?’ It was meant as a joke, but Nines answered seriously. ‘There are certain areas you won’t be allowed in, yes. Although the majority is, not all androids have deviated yet. Some will never need to, being given freedom simply by prohibiting people from ordering them around. Those that do naturally without being converted mostly break their chains by trauma. Most connected to humans. You understand you won’t be let in there?’ Gavin laughed nervously. ‘Yeah, I understand that alright. Damn it, with the amount of hate-crime receding to the, well, to the normal levels, I thought that wouldn’t be that much of a problem anymore.’ ‘It got better the last years’, the android answered. ‘I think nowadays it’s just one floor that’s prohibited for humans. When I was awoken, there was only one floor humans were allowed to enter.’ ‘Shit…’, Gavin hissed, looking up towards their destination. The building could already be seen, although it would take a few more minutes to get there. ‘Our contacts, are they-‘ ‘No. One of them spent a lot of time away from humans, but he got better with time. I actually met him in my time there. The others never had a scarring experience with your kind, although maybe that’s also due to their programming. They are designed to be patient, easily forgiving and caring. No matter how drastic deviancy can change us, a few traits stay.’ ‘They?’, Gavin asked. ‘Just one person or how many are we speaking with?’ ‘Two persons’, Nines answered and smiled. ‘Roughly a hundred units. No one really knows how many there are.’ ‘Excuse me?’ ‘They share a hivemind. It was an interesting thought of Cyberlife as that made sharing information in a theme park much easier.’ ‘You androids are weird.’ ‘Says the human that is partially controlled by his intestine’s flora.’ ‘Yeah okay, point taken.’

They parked the car and went inside. Nines connected to the apartment buildings android network and announced themselves to the other androids. Nearly instantly he got an invitation back he translated for Gavin. ‘They are waiting for us in the gardens. They ask if you need anything.’ A bit phased, the human shook his head. ‘No, I’m good, thanks. Kind of forgot you can simply do that…’ ‘Believe me, it feels strange even to me. I prefer talking, too.’ They moved through the hallways towards the back exit and Gavin was surprised to see how many androids there were. It was normal to see them on the streets now, but without any humans around it still felt weird to him. Some of them didn’t wear their skin, all of them were openly interfacing on a regular basis. Still throughout it all, they acknowledged Gavin’s presence, some even waved or threw him a polite smile before going on with their day. It was so different to what Gavin had experienced with the human-only neighbourhoods that had formed after the revolution and androids had needed police protection entering. Gavin remembered the people living there just too well and how they reacted to Nines as the only android with them.

He honestly had thought of this to be similar for him.

Nines opened the door for him to step into a huge atrium mostly filled by a huge park-like area. ‘Over here’, Nines said, leading Gavin to where and android sat, plucking weeds. As they approached, he stood up, clasping his hands. His face was heavily damaged, Gavin could see that even from a distance. But the other android’s eyes were fixed on Nines, before he awkwardly waddled over. ‘RK900! RK900 is here, Ralph is happy to see you!’ Gavin watched his partner as the damaged android ran at him just to hug him. ‘I’m happy to see you too! Although my name is Nines now.’ ‘You got a name now? That’s good! Ralph likes it, it is a good name.’ ‘My friend here gave it to me’, Nines chuckled and laid an arm on Gavin’s shoulder. ‘Oh, you found a human? The one from the file you told me about?’ Nines blushed a little, refusing to make eye contact. ‘Yes. It all worked out.’ Ralph held out a hand for Gavin to shake. ‘Hello, friend! Ralph knows Nines from when he first got here. We are good friends.’ ‘I’m Gavin’, he introduced himself, not quite sure what to make of the android. Nines had never mentioned him after all. ‘I’m also a… good friend of him, we met at the DPD.’ ‘Oh! Ralph knows! You came hear to ask questions about the case, yes, Connor told me! But Ralph doesn’t know much, he just met Jerry there. Jerry can tell more; Ralph will call him!’

He did not call him loudly, but immediately five androids perked up, all looking exactly the same. They looked at Ralph, then each other, before three of them dropped their tools and came over. One went over to Ralph to hug him, while the other two looked curiously at Nines and Gavin. ‘Hello! Our name is Jerry. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Connor said you needed help?’ Gavin nodded in the general direction, not quite sure which unit to address. But Nines turned to the one who had just spoken, so Gavin followed his example.

‘Do you know the theme park ArcaneWorld?’, Nines asked. ‘Connor told me you would be the best to ask this.’ The unit in front of him nodded. ‘Yes, we were property of the previous park. Pirate’s cove was abandoned but gained the attention after we were found after the revolution. We were happy to leave the place, but we keep it in good memory. We liked working there and making people happy.’ ‘I’m sorry, but how are you an expert on ArcaneWorld when you worked in the previous park?’, Gavin asked. ‘We used the unique android network there. It helped us keep ourselves and not be lonely, much like the one installed here. But we have never been disconnected. And the person who bought Pirate’s cove after the revolution demolished buildings and attractions but kept the network to run the new park. We received regular updates until it closed again, including a detailed blueprint of the entire park and surveillance. Just a moment, please.’ Multiple other Jerrys approached them, pushing their hands together. Gavin had seen the holographic screen Nines and Connor could produce, but never something like this. Every individual screen connected, forming a map of ArcaneWorld. ‘There. What do you need to know?’ ‘We have to intercept a criminal selling off valuable data. We know it happens at seven, but not where in the park.’ A few of the Jerrys nodded in unison. ‘Well, the park is partly still functioning. The whole area here…’ a huge part of the map was marked. ‘This whole area isn’t safe. A huge ride there had been closed due to safety reasons and had to be renovated. That never happened, so now the ride has long collapsed. The old area of Pirate’s cove is still functioning, as well as the main attraction of the new park, a large area of medieval themed rides. Maybe that narrows it down a bit. Oh, and another thing, the surveillance cameras in a large part of the medieval area were shut down lately. May only be a coincidence, but when there are still some working in the collapsed ride, we don’t think this simply happened because of decay. We would search there.’

‘Sounds good to me’, Gavin shrugged. ‘As good a place as any to start.’ Nines nodded. ‘Thank you, Jerry, you helped us a lot. Do keep an eye on the park though and call us if you see anything.’ ‘Of course. Best of luck!’

Nines and Gavin left New Jericho shortly after that. Nines had stayed a bit longer to download the map from Jerry and gain access to the network, but soon they had taken their leave. ‘An old friend, huh?’, Gavin smirked as they walked towards the car. ‘Anything I need to know?’ ‘They really are just friends I made, unlike our suspect’, Nines shot back though. ‘Ralph had been with Jerry from the start.’ ‘Err.. what? How is that even… nevermind, I don’t wanna know.’ Nines looked at him, clearly disappointed. ‘Gavin, please, don’t try to judge them with human terms. I keep one of my processor cores reserved just for you, always. Jerry does the same, but with interchangeable units. It’s not that difficult to understand.’ ‘I said I didn’t want to know that, Nines. If it works for them, fine with me.’ ‘Good. That being settled, let’s get back and find out everything about this park.’

[>next Chapter]

[spookyblackwidow]

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for the request!! This is mostly angst, with a fluffy ending, I hope you’ll enjoy it! Prompt lines are in bold

Eggshells

1,524 words

After a third day of fruitless negotiations, Natasha and Clint were escorted back to their hotel room in Cuernavaca, Mexico. A month prior, Fury had found a lead on some missing Stark tech and started coaching them on their latest identities: arms dealer Renata Alvez and her bodyguard Sebastian Burke. Their attention to detail was impeccable, their execution flawless, but the seller had already dragged the process out longer than necessary, and they’d yet to see proof of possession.

Nat sunk down into the bed, a chorus of old springs creaking beneath her, and removed her curly brown wig. She flung it towards the empty dresser before laying back and closing her eyes.

“I want to go home,” she murmured in a voice not quite her own.

“Mmhmm.” Clint gently moved her hand, placing her palm just above her bellybutton, and sat down beside her. “Wanna take that thing off? Not that Renata isn’t attractive, but I’d rather see you.”

“Oh, right.” Natasha peeled away the disguise tech. “Better?”

“Much.” Clint smiled down at her. “Ready for today’s news?”

“Do we have to?” she groaned.

“Absolutely. You and Nick demoted me to sidekick, this is my one thing I get to do for you.” He pulled out his phone and started scrolling through messages and news articles. “Okay, so Tony fell asleep in his workshop last night, which meant no one was watching Dum-E, who almost cost Stark more than just a few suits. If Pepper hadn’t gone through while we were in Berlin and installed enough fire safety devices to equip a small city, it might’ve been a total loss. Not that Stark’s quips and nicknames would’ve been missed, but we’re grateful all the same.

“Next up, Steve discovered cronuts and won’t stop talking about them. Sam’s already sent ‘SOS’ and ‘I’ve made a grave mistake,’ as well as about a thousand of those angry swearing emojis. I’d say he’s having just about as much fun as we are.

“Thor’s still off-world doing whatever the hell it is he does out there, so I guess we’ll have to wait to hear about his misguided antics until he returns. Did you know,” he turned to face her, setting his phone on the sheets, “he once asked me how to use the toaster? I mean, the guy can fly, for fucks sake, he spouts off about how human technology is ‘so primitive,’ yet the process of placing sliced bread into a slot and pushing down a lever was beyond his grasp. He’s entertaining, but damn, he is not as smart as—”

“Can you shut up for once in your life?” Nat snapped, her eyes scrunched closed. It was then that Clint noticed how taut her muscles were, how her shoulders were creeping up toward her ears.

“Y-yeah. I’ll just… go read or something.”

Clint wanted to help, to offer a back rub or something, but they’d been together long enough for him to know she needed space and silence. She was stressed and upset, not that he could blame her; Nick had sent them off on a “long weekend” sort of trip that was anything but. He could’ve had them on a five-hour flight to Mexico City, which would put them roughly half an hour from their hotel, but he’d vetoed that plan in favor of something more authentic to their cover story. So they took a four-hour flight to Houston, walked nearly 45 minutes to the rental car, and then drove over 17 hours to Cuernavaca. A day and a half one way, all for some fucking authenticity. Anyone would be stressed after that.

Clint grabbed a book from his suitcase and slipped out to the shaded balcony despite strict instructions to stay inside the room. The building was surrounded by their contact’s guards, but he figured the odds of being shot for disobeying orders were about the same no matter which side of the door he chose, and he’d much rather risk his life without irritating Nat; although, she would be fairly mad at him if he died. She always teased that the coroner would be able to list “stupidity” as his official cause of death.

He paged through his book for a while, doing his best to stick to shadows and the guards’ blind spots as they circled, and decided it was finally safe enough to go back in. As soon as he opened the sliding door, he heard the shower running and Nat faintly humming a tune he didn’t recognize. It wasn’t quite nine, but Clint knew Nat’s routines well enough to know she’d be ready to pull the curtains and turn in for the night after combing her hair.

Clint was also acutely aware that after their spat, he was uninvited from sharing the king-sized bed, a reality he was almost always prepared for. Hidden in the lining of his suitcase was a sleeping bag designed for missions requiring outdoor reconnaissance—lightweight, durable, thermal lined—though he mainly used it for nights like this, resigned to sleeping on a cold floor thinly covered by rough carpet. At least it was midsummer, a combination of the baking sun and lack of functioning air conditioning had kept the entire room warmer than he was accustomed to.

Honestly, Clint could fall asleep just about anywhere, it didn’t matter if he was particularly comfortable or not; as long as the ever-present exhaustion pressed against the back of his eyes, he could sleep. He wasn’t sure if it was noise or stress over aggravating his partner, but something woke him several hours after they’d settled down for the night. At first, he kept his eyes closed, willed himself back to the warm embrace of sleep, but instinctual worry nagged at him. With a suppressed sigh, he gave up and looked around the cramped space.

Natasha was standing at the sliding door, the edge of the fraying curtain balled in her fist, moonlight spilling across her face through the gap in the fabric. Clint sat up slowly in an effort to not startle her.

“Nat? Why are you awake?”

“I… I don’t know.” She shook her head and turned around to face him. “I guess I’m just having trouble sleeping tonight.”

“Is this about the job? Because I’m sure we’ll be out of here soon, they have to trust us at some point.”

“No, Barton, I don’t think this is about the job.” Nat smiled softly and let the curtain fall closed, plunging them into darkness. He could hear her pad over to the bed, the springs protesting as she sat on the edge. Under normal circumstances, she was hard to track, nearly silent, as if she barely touched a thing, but the longer they were together, the more weight she seemed to put into her movements, like she didn’t feel the need to walk on eggshells around him. He followed the sound and settled in next to her.

“Are we okay?” Clint’s voice was rough and low. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, but he had to ask. She had called him Barton, for fuck’s sake.

Nat was quiet for far longer than he would’ve liked, but she laid her head on his shoulder as she pondered the question.

“We’re okay, I think.”

“Is it something I did, or—”

“Oh, no, I’m—” she took deep breath and exhaled agonizingly slowly, “I’m sorry, it’s me. I shouldn’t have snapped at you earlier; I don’t even know how you put up with me.”

Clint couldn’t suppress a chuckle, his shaking shoulders causing Nat to sit up straight again. Although his eyes hadn’t adjusted quite enough to see her features yet, he felt her quizzical stare that he was so intimately familiar with.

“Did I say something funny?”

“‘Put up with’ you? Really, Nat? I put up with Tony and his personal brand of chaotic insanity. I put up with Fury’s absurd paranoia, the difficulties of the job, the long nights, the constant risk of harm, but you? My god, do you think I’d still be here, going on missions, just the two of us, if I couldn’t handle the stressed arguments?”

“I—”

“And this was nothing, Nat! You snapped at me, so what? To be perfectly honest, I’m surprised you don’t yell at me more often. I’m obnoxious.”

“No, you’re—you know what? You are kind of obnoxious.” Nat laughed quietly and placed a hand on his stubbled cheek. “But you’re my obnoxious partner, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Agreed.” Clint gently pressed into her palm and smiled, relief washing over him. “Now go back to bed, I have a feeling we’ll be heading home tomorrow.” He stood and started toward his sleeping bag, but Nat snagged his wrist.

“Only if you’ll join me.”

Resting comfortably in Clint’s arms. Natasha quickly fell back asleep, content, safe. Even though this was their usual arrangement, Clint savored every second of it, letting the rise and fall of Nat’s chest, the slow, steady breaths lull him until unconsciousness took over. No matter where their missions brought them, this was home.

Tag List: @romanoff--natasha​ @clintashaotp​ @baker151910​ @unsociable-hobbit​ @thexploress​ @unholyromanoff​

[zaffrenotes]

Sojourn: The Unbirthday, Part 2

Players: Liam x Katrina, Drake x Lyssa, Olivia, Hana, Maxwell, Anitah Rhys Rating/Warnings: Mature 18+ / 🍋🍋🍋 alert! (lol this means you @dcbbw no reading in a work meeting!) Author’s Note: * All main characters belong to Pixelberry, I’m just borrowing them * Appropriate that I posted part 1 on @ao719 ‘s birthday and now part 2 is posted on @the-soot-sprite ‘s birthday 😂* Word Count: +/- 5000

Trina quickly recapped the rules for Anitah, before giving Liam and Drake the simple instructions of having to prepare lemon bars as a dessert. They were given recipe cards as a safety measure, and the two men scrambled in the pantry to gather their ingredients in the allotted sixty second time limit. Drake made sure to grab gluten and dairy free options after scanning the ingredient list on the recipe card. He and Liam filled their baskets with lemons, eggs, powdered sugar, and granulated sugar, but he eyed Liam’s basket and noticed extra items like almond milk, applesauce, and vanilla extract. He glanced at the recipe card at his station – there was no mention of the extra ingredients Liam had in his basket, nor the container of strawberries he spied as well.

Once more, a palace staff member wheeled in a small service cart with three silver cloches on the top tray, and Trina walked over to stand behind it. “Who’s ready for a little sabotage?” she asked, grinning at Drake and Liam.

“Gods, here we go,” Drake muttered under his breath.

“As a reminder, Liam has a little over sixteen thousand left for bids, while Drake has…” Trina paused to look at the numbers written on the notecard.

“Nine grand!” Maxwell hollered from the table. Drake drew his hand over his face while Liam smirked. “Oh he’s dead where he stands,” Maxwell laughed.

“This is gonna be good,” Olivia added, crossing her arms over her chest.

“First up,” Trina announced, lifting one of the domes, “a little something we’ve called Sugar, Sugar.” Underneath the dome was a box of sugar packets, and Drake’s face fell a little. “Win this bet and your opponent will have to surrender their sugar supply and measure out what they need out of these itty bitty packets.” She waved the box in the air. “Bidding starts a—”

“Eighty-five hundred,” Liam smirked. Drake pelted him with a lemon from his basket as their audience stifled their laughter.

“Counter offer, Drake?” Trina asked.

“Eighty-six hundred,” he grumbled back.

“Eighty-nine hundred,” Liam offered.

“Eighty-nine hundred…and one,” Drake countered, shaking his head.

Trina shook her head, biting back another smile, and looked on at Liam. “Going once…going twice…and sold, to Mr. Walker, for eight thousand nine hundred and one dollars,” she giggled, tossing the box in the air towards Liam. He rummaged through his basket and removed the small bag of sugar, handing it to Trina when she walked over to his station. “Well this sort of takes the fun out of the rest of the sabotages,” she smiled half-heartedly.

“Does that mean we can skip ‘em?” Drake asked. There was a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Not a chance!” She held her hand over one of the remaining domes on the cart. “Next up, Not So Easy Bake!” She removed the dome to show a small photo of an Easy Bake oven. “Uhh…instead of being able to use the standard oven, Drake here’ll have to make use of a toaster oven. Bidding starts at two thousand?” Her voice rose as she asked the question, looking at Liam.

“Two thousand it is,” he chuckled, counting out the money.

“I hate you so much right now,” Drake uttered out of the corner of his mouth. A staff member plugged in a toaster oven near his cooking station and shut off the oven.

“Lastly, we’ve got Lemonheaded,” Trina continued, lifting the last dome on the cart. Several boxes of lemonhead candies were underneath, and Liam already started counting out his money to hand over to her. She walked the tray over to Drake’s station before taking another two thousand from Liam.

“What am I supposed to do with these?” Drake looked at the boxes of candy before his eyes went wide as Trina went digging through his basket of ingredients.

She forced a half-smile, half-grimace as she pulled the bag of lemons from his supplies, opening it to hand him a single lemon. “You have to use the candy as your source for lemon, uh…juice,” she replied. “In addition to this single, fresh lemon which you can use for the zest, and whatever juice you can get from it.”

“Are you kidding me? This stuff is like, ninety percent sugar with lemon flavor!”

“Not my problem!” she called out over her shoulder. “Are you boys ready?” she asked, setting the timer on the tablet for 45 minutes. “On your mark, get set….bake!”

Liam and Drake set to work as the timer on the screen counted down. Liam calmly stood behind his station, ripping open several packets of sugar at a time into a measuring cup, while Drake hurried around his station, setting saucepans on the stove. He poured water into one and set the heat on high, then dropped a large spoonful of coconut oil into the empty saucepan. He then took the lemon candies and dropped them into a Ziploc bag and covered it with a towel, before taking a mallet to it, crushing the candy into smaller pieces. He ignored Maxwell shouting “candy crush!” at him as he poured the pieces into a glass bowl and set it over the simmering pot of water, along with pouring a bit of water into the bowl. The coconut oil saucepan was set to low heat, and he measured out ingredients to make the crust as both items heated up.  

He was already whisking ingredients together, drizzling the melted oil into the mixture, while Liam was still ripping packets of sugar open. The King’s forehead beaded with sweat as he worked on what looked like a futile task of filling a cup with sugar, even as he tore several packets at a time. Drake grinned to himself, thinking there was still a good chance at victory as he packed the crust into two small pans to bake in the damnable toaster oven. He set a kitchen timer and got to work on making the filling while one crust baked in the tiny oven.

Several quiet minutes passed as the two men worked on their baking challenge. The ladies and Maxwell spoke in hushed tones at the table, making pleasant conversation until 15 minutes passed on the clock. Liam was checking on his crust – finally having finished measuring out his sugar and somehow caught up to Drake – when Trina cleared her throat to get their attention. “Oh my gods, what now?” Drake groaned, stirring the candy water mixture on the stove. He made a face when he tasted the contents.

“Twist in the final sabotage,” Trina answered, handing out a small stack of money to Maxwell, Anitah, Olivia, and Alyssa. A staff member handed her two garment bags, while another pair of staff carried in what looked like a wood railing. Both Liam and Drake paused what they were doing to look at the odd additions in the tent. “Birthday boy and guests will get to do the bidding, along with Liam, and the winning bidder gets to choose who wears what color.”

“What color of what?” Drake hissed.

“So glad you asked, my friend,” Trina answered. While you’re making these lemon bars, you’ll have to work with this barre during the rest of the challenge. Meaning when Maxwell hits a buzzer, both of you will have to come over here and execute three pliés before you go back to cooking.”

The ladies all grinned, while Liam and Drake’s faces fell as they cast a glance at each other. “You mean…”

“There’s a pair of black tights and a shirt in one bag, and a pink unitard in the other,” Trina smiled, her eyes lighting up with mischief. “Everyone has twelve thousand to bid with, to make things even…sort of,” she giggled, looking at the sour expression on Drake’s face.

“Melí, baby, help me out here,” Drake called out to Alyssa. He turned to stir the lemon reduction on the stove again.

“I dunno, you forgot about me when you were cooking the last challenge…” Alyssa quirked her lips to one side, narrowing her bright blue eyes in Drake’s direction.

“Five thousand!” Liam called out, whisking eggs and sugar in a bowl.

“Seven thousand!” Olivia replied.

Anitah, Maxwell, and Alyssa all chimed in, driving the bid to ten thousand, with Liam in the lead. Anitah started whispering in Maxwell’s ear, and a huge grin spread across his face. “Anitah and I are combining our funds and we bid… twenty grand! Boom!” He slammed down a stack of fake bills onto the table.

“You can’t do that! Can he do that??” Drake asked.

“I mean, this is his party, I think he can do whatever he wants to,” Trina answered. “Sold! To Team Maxitah for twenty grand!”

Anitah clapped her hands together and a wide smile swept across her face, and she and Maxwell whispered to one another before Maxwell picked up the garment bags, handing one to Liam and the other to Drake. Drake rolled his eyes as he took the bag. “Like I even have to guess which one you stuck me with.”

“Never know, it could be your color, man,” Maxwell grinned.

“How are we supposed to change, love? We’re both in the middle of cooking,” Liam asked.

“There’s a makeshift changing room just outside, and neither of you are using your ovens right now. Drake can set his…lemon juice…” Trina coughed in a poor attempt to stifle her laugh. “On low heat. I’ll stir it for him so nothing sticks. We’ll pause the timer until you both return. Off you go!” She took the spoon from Drake and lowered the heat, stirring the mixture in the saucepan.

Liam and Drake exited the tent to change, while Trina continued stirring Drake’s lemon concoction. Maxwell excitedly held on to a small buzzer in his hands, chatting away with Anitah and Alyssa to either side of him, while Olivia glanced through her phone. A couple minutes later, Liam walked back into the tent, wearing a pair of black tights and a fitted white shirt. Trina subtly bit her bottom lip as she took in the sight of her fiancé’s muscular build in the form-fitting clothing, his kingly endowments barely hidden by the dark fabric. A warm blush crept up her neck and across her cheeks as he walked the width of the tent, back to his station, essentially on display in front of their friends. He cut his walk short and turned in her direction, grinning at her. He wrapped one of his strong arms around her waist and lifted her up while lowering his head and kissed her deeply, hard enough to make her exhale with a breathy sigh and blink slowly as her feet returned to the ground. “Uh, Liam, sweetie?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you not wear one of the dance belts in the bag?” She flicked her eyes down to his waist, where a more significant bulge appeared.

Liam straightened his posture and cleared his throat, looking down at himself and then to his queen-to-be. “I am wearing one of the belts.”

Trina giggled and bit her lip, lowering her voice. “Walk quickly and think of unsexy things then. Tax laws. Council meetings with Godfrey. Madeleine.” Liam shook his head and walked briskly back to his station, just as Drake poked his head into the tent. All eyes turned to him.

“Fuck it,” he muttered under his breath, before striding into the tent. He stopped in his tracks, pointing at Liam, who was standing behind his counter, hands behind his back. “Why in the hell does he get to wear that, and I have to wear this? I look like a peep!”

“Pink suits you,” Olivia quipped, her lips curling into a smirk.

“Do both of you know the proper form for a grand plié?” Trina asked, giving the saucepan another stir. Liam and Drake nodded silently.

“Let’s test that, shall we?” Maxwell pressed the buzzer in his hands, and both men walked over to the barre, Drake looking like he wanted to stab Maxwell, while Liam remained his calm self. They both placed a hand onto the barre, pressing their heels together with their toes pointed in opposite directions, and slowly bent their knees to lower themselves into position. Liam swept his free hand out to finish the movement, and both men repeated the action two more times before releasing their grips on the barre.

Their friends stared on, with Alyssa dropping her jaw as she looked at Drake. “When did you…how did you…? I had no idea!”

“It helps with agility and speed,” Drake replied, shrugging his shoulders. “Helped improve my football – soccer – skills,” he corrected. “Though it would help with American football as well.”

“Max, hit it again! I need to see that again!” Anitah tried to talk through her teeth quietly, but her request was louder than she thought, and Liam chuckled softly when he caught her. She punched the buzzer in Maxwell’s hand and Liam and Drake sighed, taking position by the barre again. “Hand slipped, sorry,” she smiled awkwardly at them.

“No harm done, Lady Anitah,” Liam smiled, going through the sequence of positions again to perform three pliés. They returned to their stations and Trina walked over to the tablet, tapping the screen to continue the remainder of the time while they worked on their challenge. Drake tied a half apron across his waist while Liam set to work, undeterred.

As Liam stirred in the rest of his ingredients into the mixing bowl, Drake tasted the contents of the bowl and made another face. He set it aside to cool while he mixed the rest of his ingredients for the filling, and Maxwell hit the buzzer again. He hit the buzzer twice more while they continued mixing and pouring their custards onto the crusts they’d prepared earlier, and during the last set, Liam winced as he finished his set of pliés. “Sore already?” Drake smirked.

“It’s been…a while, since I’ve practiced,” Liam replied, setting his lemon bars into the oven. He turned the dial on a timer and set it on the counter as he started cleaning up his station. “You seem to be faring well.”

“I’m still taking classes in between practice,” Drake shrugged.

“Do I hear dance off challenge?” Maxwell’s eyes lit up.

“No, no you do NOT, Beaumont!” Drake’s eyes went wide and he barely shook his head back and forth.

“We don’t have the space, Maxwell,” Liam added.

“We’ve got the entire palace grounds, what’re you talking about?” He hit the buzzer again, and Liam and Drake sighed. “Unless you want me to spend the next twenty minutes hitting this thing,” he laughed. Drake shot him another warning look. “It looks like that vein in his neck is gonna pop, who thinks Drake’ll Hulk out before the end of this challenge?”

“I HEARD THAT!” Drake cast a menacing look at Maxwell, but the threat was useless when it came from a man wearing a spandex unitard. A pink, spandex unitard. He gripped the barre and started pliéing.

“What about one of those twirly things?”

“A pirouette?” Anitah suggested.

“I’m not doing that,” Drake breathed, bending his knees low. “This whole thing is ridiculous enough as it is.”

“Fiiiine, we’ll stay in the tent,” Maxwell sighed.

The rest of the time passed quickly, with Maxwell and Anitah hitting the buzzer frequently as Liam and Drake waited for their desserts to finish baking. They’d set their trays out with just moments to spare before time ran out, and left to change back into their regular clothes while Trina texted Bastien and Hana to return to the tent. “So unfortunately these babies need to cool for an hour or two before Hana can judge them,” Trina explained. “Which is why we get to have a late, leisurely lunch with all of you before that happens! But we can go inside to eat, where it’s a lot cooler.”

.:.

The group sat around the table in the private dining room, enjoying a variety of iced drinks after lunch. Anitah had regaled them with tales about her friends and their husbands causing a ruckus in New Orleans, and Trina told her about the time Leo dropped in to one of their Christmas parties where Liam accidentally fed them pot brownies. They traded stories back and forth, laughter bouncing off the walls. During a lull in conversation, Liam quickly raised his eyebrows at Trina and ticked his head to one side, and she returned his actions with a small nod.

Liam idly scrolled through his phone for a moment, furrowing his brow as he pretended to skim through a message on the screen. “If you’ll excuse me a moment, I need to make a phone call. I’m never quite off duty, it seems,” he stood and bowed his head to his friends before turning to leave, winking at Trina on his way out.

After several minutes, Trina rose up from her seat. “Anitah, make yourself comfortable, everyone else treats this place like a second home. I’m just going to make sure the staff know they can start clearing out the tent. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” She smiled politely at her friends before leaving the room.

Waiting several moments to make sure they were alone, Drake took out his wallet and placed 20 Euros on the table. “My money’s on Liam’s study.”

Olivia pulled a crisp 20 Euros from her clutch. “Dark alcove, they won’t even make it to his study.”

“He had a head start though, but I’m going to bet they’re in his office,” Hana chimed in, adding her own money to the growing pile.

“What’s going on?” Anitah asked.

“Oh, those two are like horny teenagers, always sneaking off to fool around,” Maxwell explained. “We kind of made a game of it, to go searching for them to find out where they’re going at it.”

“They do this often??”

“Basically since they met,” Hana replied. “You know Katrina came here as a suitor for Liam’s hand, right?”

Anitah nodded. “After some sort of bachelor party to New York, where she was your waitress. I just had no idea she’d be the type to ditch in the middle of entertaining guests to hook up,” she laughed.

Drake took a sip of his drink. “Oh you have no idea. I honestly think Liam’s gotten worse since the two of them got engaged.”

“She definitely hasn’t discouraged it,” Maxwell added.

“Isn’t that a sign of a healthy relationship?” Alyssa looked around the table. “They’ve been together for years now, and they’re still head over heels for each other?”

“Weren’t you the one complaining about them being head over heels the last time we agreed to go on vacation with them?” Drake raised a questioning brow at his girlfriend, knowing smirk on his lips.

Alyssa fidgeted in her seat. “Yeah well, it was a trip to Hawaii. Ha-wa-ii. What broke ass college student is gonna turn down an offer like that?”

.:.

Trina rushed to Liam’s office, locking the door behind her. She started to slip her feet out of her wedges when Liam looked at her from where he was standing in front of the window. “Leave them on, love. The dress can go, wouldn’t want to ruin that.”

“As you wish, my king,” she purred, undoing the buttons down the front of her long sundress. She slipped the light fabric off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor near the door, walking towards Liam in nothing but navy lace. He let out a low growl as he rounded the desk and set her on the edge, kissing her with feverish wanting. Trina let her head fall back and Liam peppered her neck with more kisses, his tongue traveling up and down her skin as she responded with breathy sighs and let her eyelids flutter closed. One of her hands reached forward for him, cupping his stiffening member over his fitted jeans. “Oh, this won’t do,” she murmured, already working to undo the button and zipper that confined what she wanted.

Liam moved to kneel before her, his large hands pressing into her thighs as he pushed them open on the desk. “I’m in the mood for a different kind of dessert first.” He planted a kiss to her inner thigh, then the other, before hooking his fingers into the waistband of her underwear, tugging at them. Trina lifted her hips off the desk as he slid them off her, his eyes heavy with lust as he looked into her eyes before taking in the treasure set before him. “Look at you, you’re so wet for me already,” he whispered. A devilish grin crossed his lips as he moved and began to devour her, tongue and lips moving swiftly to taste every drop of the nectar between Trina’s legs.

She mewled in response, head tipping back once more. “Liam, yes…Liam!” she whimpered, feeling warmth pool as he worshipped her with his mouth. He hiked her legs over his shoulders and she leaned back against the desk, and he inserted two fingers inside her, pumping them in tandem with the movements of his tongue against the firm bundle of nerves at her center. Trina dug her heels into his back at the sensation, panting above him. Liam curled his fingers into her and she bucked her hips in response. “Fuck, Liam! You’re going to make me…”

“Let me hear you, love,” he murmured softly, pulling away from her to speak. “Come for me.” His tongue danced across her skin while his fingers moved at an agonizing pace until he felt her walls closing in on him, and her legs tensed. He gazed up at the goddess before him, watching her shallow breaths as she approached ecstasy, and smirked when she bit her bottom lip, cursing in Greek as she came. Only when her legs relaxed did he stop what he was doing, licking his fingers clean.

“I need you,” she moaned softly. “I need more.”

Liam stood up and unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it onto a leather chair nearby. “Oh, we were just getting started,” he reassured her, pulling his jeans and boxer briefs off.

She bit her lip again as she took in his naked form. “Do we have time?”

“Always,” he laughed softly, leaning forward to kiss her. Trina sucked on his bottom lip and he groaned into her mouth as he teased her entrance with the tip of his member, letting out a breathy laugh when she inched herself forward on the desk so he’d slip inside her. She was warm and wet and tight, and he wanted to stay there forever, joined to her. “My god you feel good,” he groaned into her ear.

Trina took hold of his waist, pulling him closer to her, deeper inside her, and let out a gasp as he filled her up and stretched her walls. “So do you, now…fuck me,” she begged.

Liam hummed and a lazy grin spread across his lips as he sheathed and unsheathed the full length of himself between her legs. “Oh, Bossy Trina’s here, is she? As you wish, my love.” He wrapped his fingers on either side of her hips, and drove himself into her, pulling her to him with each thrust. Trina gasped and gripped his forearm as he set a rapid pace, a pleasant aching between her legs with each movement and hip swivel. “You’re so beautiful, Trina,” he groaned again, slipping the fabric of her bra away to massage one of her breasts.

Trina wrapped her legs around Liam’s waist, locking her ankles together as he continued to fuck her, driving her wild as a tightening sensation began in her center. She let out another unintelligible whimper when he pressed his palm against her center, feeling the way he moved inside her against his own touch. Soon the room was filled with their mingled breaths and skin slapping against skin, the air growing heavy as they both moved towards oblivion. “You feel…so good…so good,” she panted, looking up at him through her lashes.

“You feel like heaven,” he answered back, between breaths. A thin sheen of sweat covered his brow and chest. “I’m close love, but I need to hear you again.” Trina propped herself up and they leaned in to kiss one another, before Liam pulled away to suck on her neck and earlobe. “I love hearing you come, let me hear you,” he urged. He dipped his head down and sucked on her breast, swirling his tongue around her hardened nipple, and gently took it between his teeth, tugging until she mewled and tugged his hair. He nibbled harder until she let out a loud gasp and dug the back of her heels into him.

“Yes, Liam, yes!” she cried out, bucking her hips forward. Her walls tightened and pulsed around him as she came again, breathing hard. 

“That’s my good girl,” he growled with satisfaction. He felt a surge of liquid coat him from inside her and nearly lost control of himself, straining to keep their rhythm as she came down from her high. When her body finally relaxed and she released her grip on his hair, he set a rapid pace again, nearing his own release. “What about you?” she panted, urging her hips forward to meet his.

“I’m nearly there already,” he grinned. He eyed her bare torso in between thrusts.

“I know that look,” she smirked.

“What look?”

“That one,” she hummed. “I’m all yours, Liam…just not the face,” she giggled. “I wanna hear you come. I wanna see you come. All over me. I’m yours to claim, always.”

Liam drove himself into his beloved before pulling out of her completely. Trina let out a small whimper at the emptiness, wiggling to the edge of the desk as she bit her lip, watching her King. His chest heaved as he tried to hold on to the last threads of control over his actions, but it was a futile effort when he glanced down to the gorgeous creature before him, watching him with hungry eyes. He took hold of himself and aimed at her abdomen, calling out her name as she encouraged him with ‘I love you’s and ‘come for me’s with her sweet voice, and he let go. Pearlescent strings of his essence spilled forth onto Trina’s golden skin, tanned from long days spent on the Cordonian coastline already. She swung her legs back and forth on either side of him and hummed pleasantly to herself as he shuddered the last of his orgasm onto her.

“Th-thank you,” he uttered, his voice shaky as he fought to compose himself. He heard her giggling as he slowly opened his eyes. “What’s so funny?”

“I had the oddest realization, just now,” she giggled again. “I kind of feel like a human toaster strudel. Or a glazed donut,” she laughed a little harder, poking her finger against a drop of his seed on her.

Liam rubbed a hand across his mouth and laughed sheepishly, warmth creeping up the back of his neck. “I suppose you do rather resemble those things right now,” he chuckled. “Good thing I have a sweet tooth,” he added, dropping to his knees once more.

“What’re you...oh!” Trina moaned as she felt Liam’s tongue graze between her legs before moving up further. She glanced down at him with fascination as he began to lick her clean. “You don’t have to do…there’s a box of tissues over…ohhh why does that feel so good?” she moaned, closing her eyes as Liam pumped his fingers inside her again. A moment later he kissed her stomach and withdrew his fingers, slowly rising to his feet with a mischievous grin.

Without a word, Liam walked over to the half bath that joined his office, ran a small towel under the tap, and wrang it out. He gently wiped down Trina’s abdomen before wiping himself off, and slid her lace underwear back on, holding her hands as she hopped off the desk. She pulled a small pack of disinfectant wipes they kept stashed in a desk drawer for such interludes, wiping her prints off the wood as Liam got dressed. She grabbed her dress near the door and fixed her hair, walking over to Liam in the center of the room.

A small yelp escaped her lips when he picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as she steadied her arms on his broad shoulders, and kissed him. Her eyes shot open and she pulled back reflexively out of surprise when Liam delved his tongue into her mouth, along with a mouthful of himself. She kissed him back and swallowed his surprise, feeling him chuckle silently against her. When she set herself back on the ground, she swatted his arm. “That was a dirty little surprise,” she grinned, licking her lips.

“We should get back to our friends,” he chuckled. “You head back first, and I’ll follow in a minute.” He offered her a mint from a small crystal dish near the bar, and she blew him a kiss as she headed back to the dining room. After perusing through his text messages – mostly from Maxwell asking when he’d get off the phone, and Drake telling him to get his royal ass back to the group for judgement – Liam left his office to rejoin the group as well.

.:.

When Liam returned to the dining room, only Trina was there, along with the trays of lemon bars he and Drake had baked. She held a piece of paper in her hands, and he looked at her with furrowed brows. “Where is everyone?”

“Maxwell took Anitah for a tour of the gardens with Olivia and Hana, and Drake and Lyssa went to the stables to go for a ride. They judged without us,” she pouted, scanning over the note. “You won, Drake’s lemon bars were disgustingly sweet thanks to the lemon candy.” She held up 20 Euros in her other hand. “And he left us this to chip in for pizza because ‘there’s been enough crazy cooking today’.”

“All alone with my lovely fiancée for at least an hour, what shall I do with all this time on my hands?” Liam teased, wrapping Trina in his arms.

“I don’t care where we go, as long as you can bend me over something and have your way with me,” she cooed back.

Liam felt himself twitch in his pants at the suggestion. “As you wish,” he replied, scooping Trina into his arms. He carried her out of the room, back towards his office.

---

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[thatmultifandomhoe]

Strawberry Cream and BBQ - 9

Pairing: Hybrid Hoseok and Human Reader

Overview: Your best friend knows she can count on you for anything, so when she asks you to watch her hybrid while she’s gone for a study abroad trip for four months, you can’t say no. But when these four months are over, things have changed in a way no one expected.

Word Count: 2,597

Genre: Hybrid AU, Fluff, Future smut, Angst, Best friends to Lovers

Warning: Some light swearing.

Master List

Sneak Peak - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 (Final) - Move in Day: A SC&BBQ Drabble

©thatmultifandomhoe Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

Hoseok pressed his lips together as he stared down at your sleeping form on the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. He really shouldn’t be all that surprised, but there you were. After the two of you came home from the Dance Studio, neither of you wanted to do anything that required more than minimum effort. That was obviously code for Netflix and pass out on the couch.

It was two in the morning when his own head started to fall backwards and somehow, you were still awake and even managed to help him into bed. He must have been more exhausted than he realized because he never went to bed without making sure you went to sleep first, a habit he’s had for God knows how long. It was done with your comfort in mind, because if Hoseok was being completely honest, you slept in the weirdest positions of all time.

Like right now.

You were on your side facing the cushion, legs curled up to your chest and your left arm was resting on your stomach. So far, a normal position. But your right arm was over your head and bent at the elbow over your face, like you were protecting yourself in your sleep. It was the most uncomfortable position he had ever seen someone sleep in and with living in a shelter for year, he saw some interesting positions.

“Oh Strawberry,” Hoseok murmured, lightly shaking his head at you. With extremely careful movements, he managed to bring your arms down to your sides, allowing him to slip an arm under your knees and the other behind your back to carry you. The moment you were settled in his arms, you shifted, forcing him to hold his breath. He didn’t want you to wake up, it was early – nine in the morning – and knew you would complain about being awake before your alarm went off. Instead however, your fingers grabbed a hold of his shirt and you curled closer to him, sighing.

He smiled at the action, his tail wagging as he walked the short distance to your bedroom to deposit you under the warmth of the million blankets you tended to sleep under. His face turned into one of longing, watching as you burrowed under your blankets. There was nothing he wanted more than to get in on the other side and fall back asleep with you safely in his arms. But he held himself back. Instead, once positive you wouldn’t wake up for another hour, he tip-toed out and quietly closed the bedroom door, not relaxing until he was in the kitchen of your small apartment.

No…not small. Cozy. He liked calling it cozy because it had that homey feel to it. As you always said, one day you were gonna need a bigger space, but he liked not having to walk down an endless hallway to get to a kitchen where you could fit three ping pong tables side by side and still have more than enough room. Having everything close and nearby, was much better.

Scratching his ears, he grabbed his phone with his free hand, smiling as he opened up a message from Sue. She had taken a selfie with some of her new friends at a café from the looks of it. His thumb typed out a quick response, wishing her good luck in classes along with asking her to be safe when she went out. If anything were to happen to Sue…Hoseok shook his head, his ears flapping at the movement. He needed to stop thinking like that. He was already protective of Sue, something that Colin isn’t too fond of at all, but what was Hoseok supposed to do? He was a German Shepard hybrid. It was in his nature to be protective of those he cared about.

Speaking about caring about someone, he looked over his shoulder back at your bedroom door. If he listened closely, he could hear the even beating of your heart. Unless he managed to drop every pot and pan you owned, there was nothing waking you up before your alarm.

His heart on the other hand, good God. Was this how it was supposed to feel all those years ago? Was he supposed to feel like the most powerful hybrid when he carried you in his arms? Were you supposed to feel like home? Hoseok was fairly certain, more then certain, he was positive that you were his mate. There was always that slim chance he was wrong, that you weren’t and he was making a mistake. If that was the case, he’d be devastated.

Hoseok needed to talk to Namjoon. The wolf hybrid had gone through something similar, and if there was anyone that he could trust with a secret this deep and get advice from at the same time, it was definitely Namjoon.

With his phone still in hand, he shot a quick text to the wolf asking if he wanted to meet up for coffee at eleven thirty. He wasn’t surprised when he got a reply within a matter of five minutes.

Sounds good to me.

Hobi was surprised when his phone vibrated seconds later, signaling another message.

It’s about her isn’t it?

His thumbs hovered over the key but he wrote out a simple ‘yes,’ and, ‘I’ll tell you then,’ and left it at that. There was no point in telling the story twice. With plans made, he set his phone back down and started filling up the kettle with water to boil for coffee when you woke up.

***

Something was up.

It wasn’t just that you felt like something was off, you knew for a fact that something had, or was going to happen, but you couldn’t put your finger on it and it was annoying the crap out of you.

By the time you managed to pull yourself out of bed, thanks to your blaring alarm, it was ten forty in the morning. You had to leave your apartment by eleven to get on campus and make it to your American Literature class and Biology lecture but still, no one liked having to leave their warm blankets for the cold weather.

Thankfully, you were greeted with Hoseok handing you a mug of coffee once you left the bathroom. You had on black leggings and an old black oversized hoodie with purple fuzzy socks for warmth. An outfit that obviously reflected the mood of every college student.

“Thank you,” you softly murmured, cradling the hot mug in your hands and took a long sip. As the heavenly beverage ran through your body, a soft moan escaped and you closed your eyes, taking another drink.

Hoseok raised an eyebrow, amused but also wondering how else he could get you to make that sound again. He shook his head immediately after that thought though, it wasn’t appropriate at the moment. Maybe one day, but until then he shouldn’t think about you like that. “You fell asleep on the couch again,” he said instead, walking back into the kitchen where he had the toaster out.

You paused at his accusation, the corner of your lips twitching as you settled on the chair at the high counter, watching as he glanced over at the toaster. “There was like twenty minutes left of the movie so I finished it. I must have fallen asleep by accident.”

He scoffed, getting out a plate just as an English muffin popped up. In a matter of minutes, the plate was slid in front of you with peanut butter and butter before going back and putting in another muffin for himself. When he turned around, he automatically laughed. You were sitting there in all black and a look of shock written all over your face. Mouth dropped open and eyes wide.

“You made me breakfast?” You asked, closing your mouth as it turned into a smile. As simple as it is, it was your favorite thing to eat in the morning.

“Of course,” Hoseok answered, still chuckling as he leaned back against the island you had, having to pause from drinking his own coffee so it wouldn’t spill. “You’re letting me stay here for four months and I know how to cook. It’s the least I can do.”

Hearing his explanation, your cheeks grew sore from smiling so much. “Thank you Hoseok. I really do appreciate it.”

“Oh, I know.” He chirped, buttering up his own breakfast.

You rolled your eyes, swallowing down some food and repicked up your mug. “Any plans for today?”

Hoseok paused, the knife he was using to spread the peanut butter was pressed against the softened muffin. The gears in his head were rapidly spinning in an attempt to create some cover up. He really hated lying to you, but there was no way he was telling you about the discussion he was planning on having with Namjoon. At least, not yet. Maybe one day he could. But that would mean you accepted him as your mate. That thought was just a hopeful dream at the moment.

“Just meeting up with Namjoon for brunch,” he simply answered, forcing his hands to continue moving. He refused to look in your direction just yet, fearing the second he looked in your eyes that he’d be spilling the whole damn truth.

In the time that Hoseok was frozen, you managed to finish eating and was tossing out the paper plate. One glance at the clock and you knew you had to kick your ass into gear if you wanted to leave on time.

“Brunch?” You quickly asked in an attempt to make sure you heard him right. “What brought this on?”

Shit, Hoseok thought. Shit, shit, shit. “I suggested it.” He finally said, thinking on the fly. “I thought he might like it, he seems like the type of person who would enjoy brunch.”

But you were rushing around, throwing your laptop and charger into your backpack, and grabbing the thousand-page textbook that you had decorated throughout the texts with a dozen colorful page markers. “That sounds like fun. Wish I could go.” Setting your bag on the couch, you power walked back into your room, grabbing your keys and phone charger before going back out to the living room.

Hoseok watched in amusement as you ran back and forth between your room and the living room where you had your bag, filling and emptying it out at the same time. As grateful as he was that you weren’t asking more about his meet up with Namjoon, he wished that you would just slow down. He knew how important school and work was for you, but you tended to let both things take over your life and stress you out beyond belief.

Without even being asked, he took your unfinished coffee and dumped it into a travel mug, topping it off with some of his since you both drink it the same way. There had been many times when he caught you stealing sips from his own mug.

“Come on Strawberry,” he gently called out when you disappeared into your bedroom once more. “I am demanding a hug before you leave here and I do not want it to be half assed because you’re rushed.”

“Half assed?” You repeated, walking out of the bedroom with your head tilted to the right as you tried to slip an earring through the hole. The minute you saw his smile and the travel mug though, you relaxed. “Give me one second Hobi and I promise, I’ll give you the best hug in the world.”

“You already give the best hugs in the world,” he whined. His tail however, continued to wave back and forth.

Once the ear rings were in place, you made your way over to him. “What about Sue? I thought you loved her hugs,” you teased, wrapping him in a hug.

“Yours are still the best.” He murmured into your hair, his arms tight as he tried to hold you close. That made you giggle and to Hoseok, it was music to his ears. So much so, that he nuzzled his head against your neck, getting you to laugh even louder.

Like always, his hugs ignited a warmth that spread throughout your body. It was always a mystery to you as how he was the only one to do this. Even at the happiest moment with your exes, this feeling never happened. It was a Hoseok only thing.

“Alright,” you murmured after a while, knowing that you had spent too long in his arms. “I have to get going to make it on time.”

Hoseok released a whine, his arms tightening even more to make you stay. If you didn’t have any other commitments you’d gladly stay behind. But college was expensive as fuck, meaning that if you skipped class, you’d literally be throwing away money. Which in your book, was not an option. Unless of course, you were dying of the plague.

You held your ground though and regrettably pulled out of his hug. Grabbing your jacket from closet, your slipped it on along with the rest of your winter gear, tugging your beanie on last. With a huff you grabbed the backpack, glancing at Hoseok when he giggled. He was patiently waiting for you to take the travel mug.

“Text me when you get there?” He asked, a hopeful look on his face.

With careful hands you took the coffee. “And I’ll text you when I’m leaving,” you added. The smile that appeared on his face made the thought of staying home all that more tempting. “Okay, I really have to go now.”

He opened the door for you, leaning against it with his arms crossed over his stomach. “Have fun with classes.”

“Have fun with Namjoon.”

Waving one last time, you headed for the elevator, smiling to yourself because you knew Hoseok was watching you. It was a part of his nature to make sure you were safe, that’s what he told you at least the first time he did this. But it felt different this time. Just like how dinner last night was different.

Everything was changing, and as the elevator opened up to the ground floor and you walked out of the building, you remembered how it felt to indulge yourself in his arms the night before. It sent butterflies flying in your stomach and made your mouth dry, forcing you to take a sip of your coffee once you were in the car.

Hoseok had made your coffee perfectly.

Staring out the windshield, you focused on the patch of snow that sat on the curb. It was the last remits of the snow storm from a few weeks ago. Although you used the term, ‘storm,’ lightly. The news had broadcasted it like it was going to be the worst storm of the season. In reality, your town got maybe, four or five inches of snow. Not that you were complaining, the college had cancelled classes the night before and your boss at the bookstore said not to come in, so you had the pleasure of staying in bed where it was warm.

The longer your stared though, the easier it was for your mind to wander. To what Namjoon said, to last night at the Dance Studio with Hobi, even to just fifteen minutes ago. And each time you found yourself longing to be back in Hoseok’s arms.

“What am I doing?” You whispered. There was no answer though, because you had no idea. 

[24stiles920]

Magic Bullet

Teen Wolf Rewrite

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Warnings: Ages 16+, swearing, blood, wounds

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Wolf or Harry Potter. I am just borrowing the spells and potions from the wonderful Harry Potter Universe, not stealing them.

Words: 4895

A/N: Poor Stiles, y’all don’t like him right now, but he’ll be better. I promise! Also, when you’re reading this keep in mind that this is me rewriting my old rewrite, so some parts will be the same, while some parts will be brand new. Hope you enjoy😊

Season 1 Masterlist

Stiles didn’t give me space.

He constantly contacted me over the next week, texting and calling me, showing up at my house, and cornering me at school. My parents, who had come back the day after the whole argument, had to kick him out of the house when he wouldn’t leave one time.

Scott knew what had happened, and because he was friends with both of us, he didn’t take sides. Instead, he would spend alone time with each of us. Time with Scott included watching Grey’s Anatomy; crying at the sad parts and yearning over Alex Karev, whilst eating greasy pizza.

I pulled on my navy boot socks and placed my feet into the knee-high boots that went with the navy, bird-covered dress. I paired it with a jean jacket, and some mauve lipstick, before grabbing my leather purse. I had to look put together today, as I would see Stiles for the first time since he rejected me.

Scott had asked me to hang out with him today, and as he gave me his puppy dog face, I couldn’t resist him. I had been hanging out with Allison and Lydia for the past week and had told Allison what happened. She kept me out of Stiles’ line of vision and I was incredibly grateful for a friend like her.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Mom said as I entered the kitchen. She was drinking a cup of coffee and was reading on her iPad while dad was at the stove making eggs.

“Morning, Mom.” I sighed as I slid an everything bagel into the toaster. “Morning, dad. Do you guys work late tonight?”

Mom and dad had their own law firm, which was actually pretty busy for a small city like Beacon Hills. Some nights they had to work over time on a case, and wouldn’t be back until early the next morning.

“Yeah, so I left a twenty-dollar bill on the counter for pizza. I know how much you love it.” Mom said before taking a sip of her coffee.

The bagel popped up and I swiped it from the toaster, spreading cream cheese on it in even layers. “Thanks.”

I took a bite of the yummy goodness that was my breakfast and took my set of car keys off the hook.

“See you later, guys.” I waved at her. “Love you.”

“Love you, Y/N.” They chorused as I stepped into the garage.

I got into the driver’s seat of my jeep and put the keys into the starter, turning over the engine as soon as I closed my door. I pulled out of the garage and drove to school, singing along to my favorite songs off my iPhone.

When I got to History class Scott and Stiles were already sitting in the back of the classroom. I walked to the aisle to the right of them and shuffled to the empty seat next to Scott.

“Y/N!” Stiles beamed at me, his entire face lighting up.

I didn’t acknowledge him, instead turning to face Scott and crossing my legs.

“So, if Derek isn’t the Alpha, if he’s not the one who bit you, then who did?” I asked him bluntly, ignoring Stiles’ crestfallen expression.

Scott sighed as the teacher started handing back our graded tests. “I don’t know.”

“Did the Alpha kill the bus driver?” Stiles questioned Scott, leaning forward onto his desk.

Scott shrugged and repeated, “I don’t know.”

“Does Allison’s dad know about the Alpha?” Stiles persisted.

“I don’t know!” Scott exclaimed loudly, causing several heads of nearby students to look back at us.

I ducked my head, embarrassed, as Stiles muttered a sheepish, “Jeez.” The teacher handed me back my test and I sighed as I noticed the ‘B- ‘written in blotchy, red ink on the top. Scott was passed his test and I looked over his shoulder to see that he had a ‘D- ‘.

Stiles had a satisfied smile on his face as he looked at mine and Scott’s test scores. “You guys need to study more.”

I glared at him while Scott slumped in his seat and sighed.

“That was a joke.” Stiles deadpanned. “Guys, it’s one test. You’re gonna make it up. Do you guys want help studying?”

“No.” I said, pursing my lips and turning away from him.

Stiles sighed in frustration as Scott shook his head. “No, I’m studying with Allison after school today.”

Stiles smirked. “That’s my boy!”

“We’re just studying.” Scott insisted.

“Uh, no, you’re not.” Stiles argued.

“No, I’m not?” Scott repeated, turning around to face Stiles.

“Not if I’m forced to live vicariously through you.” Stiles declared. I rolled my eyes at him, he didn’t have to vicariously live through anyone if he just got over his obsession over Lydia.

“If you go to her house today and squander that colossal opportunity, I swear to God, I’ll have you de-balled.” Stiles continued.

“Okay!” I interrupted loudly, sending Stiles a stern look. “Please, just stop talking.”

“And stop with the questions, too.” Scott added.

“Done.” Stiles sighed. “No more questions. No more talk about the Alpha or Derek. Especially Derek—who still scares me.”

 After the bell rang I gathered up my stuff and shot out of the classroom, not wanting to get slowed down by Stiles. The coast was clear so far, but as I opened up my locker, his voice startled me.

“You can’t avoid me forever, you know.”

I scoffed. “I think I can, actually.”

Stiles heaved a deep breath. “Look, I know I hurt you, but can’t you forgive me, so we can move on?”

I stared at him in disbelief, my mouth held slightly open. “You’re an asshole.”

I grabbed my textbook for my next class and slammed my locker shut before stomping off. Stiles quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop on the side of the hallway.

“Look, obviously that was the wrong thing to say, but—I need you, Y/N. You’re my best friend, and I—”

“Please stop.” I whispered, my eyes sparkling with tears. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

“I do mean them!” Stiles exclaimed in a frustrated tone. “Just tell me what I can do, Y/N. Please. I need you to forgive me.”

I was mad at him, that was the problem. I couldn’t just forgive him, when every time I saw him, I wanted to gauge his eyeballs out with a serrated spoon. Okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but I couldn’t forgive that he knew about us being soulmates for a whole nine months before I figured it out.

“I’m mad at you.” I said finally. “And I don’t know how to forgive you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Y/N.” Stiles admitted. “I didn’t know you had feelings for me—”

“Don’t talk about that!” I exclaimed, looking around at people as they passed by us. “Just—I told you to give me space. And you haven’t.”

“I did!” Stiles protested. “I haven’t seen you or hung out with you in a week—”

“You called and texted me about a thousand times.” I interrupted him. “How is that giving me space?”

Stiles grimaced and scratched the back of his neck. “Err.”

“Exactly.” I pointed out, turning around and walking away to class.

-

By lunch time, I was feeling pretty lonely. Stiles and Scott were having an intense discussion at our usual lunch table, so I didn’t want to interrupt. The last thing I wanted to do was hang around Lydia when I was this down about myself, so I couldn’t sit with Allison. I looked around the cafeteria, searching for a seat, when I saw a cute guy with sandy blonde hair sitting by himself.

I walked over to him with purpose and placed my lunch tray across from him. He looked up and his eye’s widened at the sight of me. I saw that he had a dark bruise around his eye.

“That looks pretty bad.” I started casually, pointing my fork at his black eye. “How’d you get it?”

“Uh, lacrosse.” The boy said uncomfortably. “You’re Y/N, right?”

“Yep, and you’re—” I trailed off, realizing with shame that I didn’t know his name.

“Isaac Lahey.” Isaac offered. “We have history together.”

I looked down, slightly embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I get distracted by my friends.”

“It’s okay, Y/N, really.” Isaac smiled at me.

“If you’re sure.” I replied doubtfully. “So, are you first or second line for the lacrosse team?”

“Second.” Isaac said, looking down at his sandwich. “It’s kind of lame—”

“No, it’s not.” I protested. “One of my best friend’s is second line as well.”

My face fell as I thought about Stiles. My best friend. That’s all he’ll ever be.

“Stiles, right?” Isaac assumed. I nodded. “He broke your heart, didn’t he?”

I looked at Isaac intrigued. “How did you know?”

Isaac took a bite of his sandwich, chewing thoughtfully. “Your face fell when you mentioned him, and you haven’t been hanging around him recently.”

My lips twisted into a smile. “You’re very observant, aren’t you?”

Isaac shrugged. “Maybe. I like to people watch.”

“Interesting.” I said as I bit into my slice of pepperoni pizza.

“So, why’d you sit with me? Other than your obvious heartbreak?” Isaac wondered, taking another bite of his sandwich.

“I was lonely, and you looked as lonely as I felt.” I told him honestly. “So I just sat down.”

“Well,” Isaac grinned. “I’m glad you did.”

-

At the end of the day I was rummaging through my purse at my locker when Allison and Lydia startled me.

“Y/N! I haven’t seen you all day!” Allison exclaimed, pulling me into a warm hug. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I breathed, giving her a slight smile. I thought about the new friend I made. “It’s been a good day.”

“Good.”

“So, Scott told me he’s coming over to your house tonight.” I said to Allison, raising an eyebrow.

“Scott’s coming over?” Lydia repeated. “Tonight?”

“We’re just studying together.” Allison smiled giddily.

“’Just studying’ never ends with just studying.” Lydia sighed wistfully. “It’s like—getting into a hot tub—Somebody eventually cops a feel.”

“Well, so what are you saying?” Allison said with a confused expression on her face.

“I’m just saying, you know, make sure he covers up.” Lydia advised, grinning at the disgusted look on my face. Allison didn’t reply, still looking confused. Poor, innocent Allison.

“Hello, Snow White! Do it with him with a condom.” Lydia exclaimed.

Allison laughed in disbelief. “Are you kidding? After one date?”

“Don’t be a total prude. Give him a little taste.” Lydia said.

“Well, I-I mean, how much is ‘a little taste’?” Allison asked in a low voice.

“You really like him, don’t you?” I said, smiling at Allison. I’m really glad she likes Scott as much as she does. I didn’t want Scott to get hurt.

“Well—He’s just different.” Allison explained. “When I first moved here, I had a plan—no boyfriends till college. I just move too much. But—then I met him, and—he was different. I-I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”

“I can.” Lydia clasped her hands together. “It’s your brain flooding with phenylethylamine.”

“What?” Allison said, giving the red head a look of confusion.

“It’s a nervous system stimulant.” I told Allison.

Lydia nodded and pointed at me. “She gets me. And don’t worry, Allison, I’ll tell you what to do. When’s he coming over?”

“Now.” Allison said. “After school.”

Lydia hummed while a dark figure caught my attention as it walked gloomily down the hall.

“I’ll see you later, guys.” I bid them, walking towards Derek with purpose.

“What are you doing here?” I hissed at him. He was really pale and was sweating profusely.

“I was shot.” Derek wheezed. “I need Scott’s help. I can’t find him.”

I sighed in sympathy. No matter how little I trusted Derek, I didn’t want him to die.

“Come on.” I took his arm in my hand and turned him around. “He’s probably in the parking lot. I told him that I’d take him to Allison’s.”

We slowly walked out to the parking lot, passing cars until we were only an aisle away from my jeep. We stepped in front of Stiles’ jeep as it backed out of a parking spot. Stiles slammed on the breaks, and as he did so, Derek collapsed onto the ground.

I crouched down next to him, gently slapping his pale, stubbly cheeks.

“I’m awake.” Derek grumped. “You can stop hitting me now.”

“Sorry.” I grimaced at him as Scott and Stiles ran up to us.

“What are you doing here?” Scott spit at Derek, crouching down next to me.

“He was shot.” I told Scott.

“He’s not looking so good, dude.” Stiles observed, looking at Derek carefully.

“No shit, sherlock.” I quipped.

“Well, excuse me for making an observation.” Stiles said hotly.

“Guys!” Scott interrupted our feud before turning back to Derek. “Why aren’t you healing?”

“I can’t.” Derek spoke slowly, pausing between each breath. “It was—it was a different kind of bullet.”

“A silver bullet?” Stiles asked excitedly.

Derek glared up at him. “No, you idiot.”

“Wait, wait.” Scott said quickly. “That’s what she meant when she said you had forty-eight hours.”

All three of us looked at Scott confused.

“What?” Derek asked. “Who—who said forty-eight hours?”

“The one who shot you.” Scott told him in an obvious tone.

Derek hissed in pain and his eyes flashed an icy blue, showing off his werewolf status.

“What are you doing?” Scott hissed. “Stop that!”

“I’m trying to tell you, I can’t!” Derek protested.

“Derek, get up.” I told him, looking around as cars honked their horns at us for holding up the line.

Scott heaved Derek up to his feet and looked at Stiles. “Help me put him in your car.”

Stiles sighed annoyed, but nevertheless helped Scott drag Derek into the jeep.

“I need you to find out what kind of bullet they used.” Derek said to Scott.

Scott looked to the older werewolf in disbelief. “How the fuck am I supposed to do that?”

“’Cause she’s an Argent. She’s with them.” Derek toned.

“Why should I help you?” Scott asked a very good question.

“Because you need me.” Derek replied.

“Fine.” Scott sighed. “I’ll try.”

Stiles turned to me, a pleading look on his face. “Hey, you’re going with us, right?”

I shook my head, thinking it probably wasn’t a good idea.

“That’s probably not a good idea.” I voiced my thoughts aloud.

“Please.” Stiles begged. “We can talk, and you can help with Derek.”

“I do have a healing potion I can give him.” I said without thinking. I walked around to the other side of the jeep and slipped into the backseat, Stiles following me.

“Hey, get him out of here.” Scott ordered Stiles.

Stiles sighed and started the ignition. “I hate you so much for this.”

-

An hour later we had already stopped at my house for bandages and a healing potion for Derek’s gunshot wound, and I had cleaned him and patched him up. The potion worked for a second, healing the wound, until eventually, the skin opened back up.  Now, we were driving around town, probably heading to Derek’s house.

Stiles threw down his phone on the dash board after another missed call to Scott.

“Hey, try not to bleed out on my seats, okay?” Stiles sighed angrily. “We’re almost there.”

“Almost where?” Derek panted, sweat dripping off his forehead.

“Your house.” Stiles eyed him, annoyed.

“What? No, you can’t take me there.” Derek protested.

“I can’t take you to your own house?” Stiles laughed in disbelief.

“Not when I can’t protect myself.” Derek said in a palpable tone.

Stiles slammed his hand on the steering wheel angrily, before pulling off to the side of the road.

“All right.” Stiles snapped. “What happens if Scott doesn’t find your little magic bullet, hmm? Are you dying?”

“Not yet.” Derek breathed heavily. “I have a last resort.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, popping my head in between the seats. “What last resort?”

He wasn’t going to chop his arm off, was he?

Derek didn’t respond, instead pulling up the sleeve on the injured arm and ripping off the gauze I taped to his skin. The bullet wound was nastier than before, like the potion irritated it, with blood dripping down his arm as soon as he took off the bandage.

Stiles gagged loudly, “Oh, my God. What is that? Oh, is that contagious? You know what, you should probably just get out.”

“Start. The. Car.” Derek exhaled. He glared over at Stiles menacingly. “Now.”

“I don’t think you should be barking orders with the way you look, okay?” Stiles yelled. “In fact, I think if I wanted to, I could probably drag your little werewolf ass out into the middle of the road and leave you for dead.”

It was silent for a moment, and while I thought about how hot Stiles was in that moment, Derek looked like he was going to murder him.

“Start the car, of I’m gonna rip her throat out—with my teeth.”

Stiles stared at Derek in silence for a moment, wondering if his threat was real. Before I could say anything, Stiles turned the engine over and pulled away from the curb.

-

Two hours later, I was munching on some curly fries that Stiles picked up from Otto’s and Derek looked on the verge of death. He even started to smell strange, but I wasn’t going to say anything, afraid that I’d get my head ripped off.

Stiles was on the phone with Scott was had been tricked into eating dinner with the Argent’s by Allison’s aunt, Kate.

“What am I supposed to do with him?” Stiles whined into the phone. “And, by the way, he’s starting to smell.”

There was silence as Scott replied.

“Like death.” Stiles answered, looking over at Derek with disdain. “What about your boss?”

Stiles suddenly groaned as Scott told him what to do, before handing the phone over to Derek. “You’re not going to believe where he’s telling me to take you.”

Derek breathed into the phone, “Did you find it?”

“How am I supposed to find one bullet? They have a million.” Scott said from the phone. Apparently, Derek had hit the speaker button when he took the phone from Stiles.

“This house is like—the fuckin’ Walmart of guns.” Scott continued.

“Look, if you don’t find it, then I’m dead, all right?” Derek wheezed.

“I’m starting to think that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.” Scott quipped, causing me to giggle. Derek glared back at me before turning back to the phone.

“Then think about this.” Derek proposed. “The Alpha called you out against your will. He’s gonna do it again. Next time you either kill with him or you get killed. So, if you wanna stay alive, then you need me. Find the bullet.”

Derek hung up the phone and tossed it back to Stiles.

“Where did Scott tell you to take him?” I asked Stiles, leaning forward in between the driver and passenger seats.

Stiles grinned at me, “The animal clinic.”

When we got to the clinic, I took out my wand a whispered a quick, ‘Alohomora,’ while Stiles held Derek up. The spell efficiently unlocked the door, so I opened it, ushering Stiles and Derek inside. Derek collapsed onto a pile of dog food bags while Stiles’ phone dinged.

“Does Northern blue monkshood mean anything to you?” Stiles read off his phone, looking to Derek for an answer.

Derek sighed. “He has to bring me the bullet.”

“Why?” I asked, grabbing his arm to help him stand up off the dog food.

“’Cause I’m gonna die without it.”

“Okay, then.” I drawled out.

Stiles sighed while replying to Scott before rushing towards Derek and I. Together, we pulled Derek into the exam room. Derek pushed away from us, ripping off his long-sleeved shirt, and revealing his toned torso and back.

“Damn.” I muttered quietly, but somehow both boys heard me, each sending me a glare.

“You know, that really doesn’t look like anything some echinacea and a good night of sleep couldn’t take care of.” Stiles quipped, pointing to Derek’s wound.

The bullet hole never stopped bleeding, dripping onto the floor as Derek walked around the exam room, searching the drawers and cupboards for something. There were black veins crawling up Derek’s arm to his shoulder.

“When the infection reaches my heart, it’ll kill me.” Derek said slowly.

“’Positivity’ just isn’t in your vocabulary, is it?” Stiles joked.

Derek ignored him. “If he doesn’t get here with the bullet in time—last resort.”

“Which is?” I toned.

Derek turned around and slammed a bone saw onto the steel table. “One of you are gonna cut off my arm.”

Stiles picked the saw off the table and revved it, the blade moving back and forth rapidly.

“Oh, my God.” He squeaked. “What if you bleed to death?”

Derek tied a blue tourniquet around his upper arm, just above the black veins.

“It’ll heal if it works.” Derek mumbled.

“Ugh.” Stiles grimaced. “Look—I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Why not?”

“Well, because of the cutting through the flesh, the sawing of the bone, and especially the blood!” Stiles exclaimed, flailing his arms dramatically.

Derek slammed his hand down on the table, fed up. “You faint at the sight of blood?”

“No, but I might at the sight of a chopped-off arm!” Stiles retorted.

Derek sighed. “All right, fine. How about this? One of you cuts off my arm, or I’m gonna cut of her head!”

“Okay, you know what, I’m so not buying your threats any—”

Before Stiles could finish his sentence, Derek grabbed my dress, pulling my head closer to him so he had easier access to rip it off.

“Stiles!” I squealed in fright.

“Oh, my God!” Stiles panicked. “Okay. All right, bought, sold. Totally, I’ll do it. Just let go of her.”

Derek slowly let go of the front of my dress before gagging.

“What? What are you doing?” I asked as he leaned to the side of the table and started puking up black goo. It splattered onto the floor and sprinkled the bottom of my boots.

“My boots!” I yelled, as Stiles groaned, “Holy God, what the hell is that?”

Derek collapsed against the table, breathing heavily. “It’s my body—trying to heal itself.”

“Well, it’s not doing a very good job of it.” I spoke bluntly, inching away from the black blood.

“Now.” Derek looked at Stiles. “You gotta do it now.”

“Look, honestly, I don’t think I can.” Stiles said.

“Just do it!” Derek yelled loudly.

“Oh, my God.” Stiles said, quickly grabbing the bone saw and placing it on Derek’s gross arm. “Okay, okay. Oh, my God. All right, here we go!”

“Stiles, Y/N!” Scott called, slamming the lobby door shut as he walked through the building.

“Scott?” I called.

Scott walked into the exam room, took one look at the three of us and yelled, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Oh, you just prevented a lifetime of nightmares.” Stiles sighed in relief.

I crossed the room and helped Derek stand up straight, as it looked like he had little strength left.

“Did you get it?” Derek exhaled.

Scott nodded and pulled a large, golden bullet out of his pocket. Derek grabbed it and held it in front of his face.

“What are you going to do with it?” I asked the older werewolf.

“I’m gonna—I’m gonna—” Derek repeated airily, before passing out altogether, dropping down on the floor with a splat.

The bullet went flying across the room and dropped down into the grate in the floor.

“No.” Scott yelled, running over to the grate. “No, no, no, no.”

Stiles and I kneeled by Derek’s head.

“Derek.” I said, cupping his handsome face in my hands. “Derek, come on, wake up.”

“Scott, what the fuck are we gonna do?” Stiles called out to Scott.

“I don’t know!” Scott exclaimed. “I can’t reach it.”

I shook Derek again, hoping that it would help wake him up, but it didn’t work. He stayed unconscious.

“He’s not waking up!” I shrieked, frightened that Derek was dead.

“I think he’s dying.” Stiles said unhelpfully. “I think he’s dead!”

“Just hold on!” Scott shouted.

Stiles and I looked at each other worriedly, but kept silent, allowing Scott to focus on what he was doing.

But he was taking too long to get the bullet, and Derek was going to die.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” I swore, pulling out my wand again. “Accio bullet!”

The bullet zoomed out of the grate and landed in Scott’s awaiting hands.

“I got it! I got it!” Scott chanted.

Stiles positioned himself over Derek, ready for a last resort. “Please don’t kill me for this.” He muttered, before raising his fist and punching Derek in the face.

Derek shot up, while Stiles held his fist, exclaiming in pain. I stood up while Scott and Stiles heaved Derek to his feet and handed the bullet to him.

Derek leaned against the table, bringing the bullet up to his mouth and biting off the top with his teeth. He tapped the bullet on the table and purple powder fell out of the casing, making a pile of the table. Derek took a random lighter from nowhere and lit the powder, causing it to spark and quickly burn out. He then took the ashes and hesitated before shoving them into his wound.

Derek fell onto the floor, screaming in pain as he arched his back. The wound slowly disappeared, along with the blood and black veins. He laid on the floor, gasping for air as the pain faded.

“That—was—awesome!” Stiles yelled, pumping his fist in the air. “Yes!”

Scott and I exchanged annoyed looks, before each of us gave Stiles a glare.

I turned to Derek. “Are you okay?”

“Well, except for the agonizing pain.” Derek quipped sarcastically, getting up to his feet.

“I’m guessing the ability to use sarcasm is a good sign of health.” Stiles said.

Derek glared ferociously at Stiles.

“Okay, we saved your life, which means you’re gonna leave us alone, you got that?” Scott said angrily. “And if you don’t, I’m gonna go back to Allison’s dad, and I’m gonna tell him everything—”

“You’re gonna trust them?” Derek interrupted Scott fiercely. “You think they can help you?”

“Well, why not?” Scott spluttered. “They’re a lot fucking nicer than you are!”

“I can show you exactly how nice they are.” Derek sneered, grabbing Scott’s arm.

“What do you mean?” Scott asked as Derek pulled him out of the clinic.

“I guess we’ll just stay to clean up!” I yelled after them and rolling my eyes.

I sighed as I picked up the mop and bucket that were in the corner, putting water into the bucket, and started mopping. Stiles shuffled awkwardly, causing me to roll my eyes.

“Straighten out the cabinets and drawers.” I ordered, pointing to the counter where Derek messed everything up.

After a few silent minutes of cleaning, Stiles spoke up, “Y/N?”

I closed my eyes and exhaled, knowing what he was going to bring up. “Stiles.”

“I’m really sorry.” He turned to me and looked at me with earnest eyes. “I really am.”

“Stiles—”

“No,” Stiles interrupted me. “Please just let me say something.”

“Okay…” I stopped mopping, since I was finished anyway, and straightened my back to look at him properly.

“I love you.” Stiles said. “You’re my best friend. You’re the one who helped me when my mom died, and you saved me from myself. Remember the other day? When you told me that I was your hero? Well, you’re mine, Y/N.”

He took a deep breath before continuing, “You’re like a breath of fresh air. And I can’t—I can’t lose you. I’m sorry I can’t love you the way you want, but I do love you. And we can’t let our friendship be ruined.”

I stared at him, speechless. I certainly did not expect for him to say that, and I felt myself slowly begin to break down and forgive him. He was right. I didn’t want to lose his friendship just because of a silly mark on our wrists.

I could move on, right? I mean, I had too. I couldn’t wait around forever for Stiles to decide he was in love with me. Plus, I didn’t want to be without friends, and I knew Scott would eventually side with Stiles.

“Okay.” I said, my voice quiet.

Stiles beamed at me, his beautiful, brown eyes lighting up. “Okay?”

I nodded. “Okay, but I’m still mad at you.”

Tag List

@julzdec @karamelcoveredolicity @thegirlalmighty01 @avadakedabitch @belleknows @supernaturallover2002 @dontstopxx @feelingsareharddd @brien-odylan @shewritesshedraws @dylnobrien1911 @kaleyana @mad-hatter-021

[butcanijustnot]

Avengers x reader preferences

How you two met:

-Tony Stark

He bought the company that ran your lab. You were a small bio-engineering tech company, specializing in Stem cell research and recreating lost limbs. Your lab conducted some of the most advanced biological work in the world, but it was also one of the messiest places on Earth. The litter of papers on the floor had never bothered you, but one day your new boss decided to take a tour of the facility.

"Y/N." Your manager said, attempting to grab your attention. You let out a tired groan, not looking up from the video you had been watching. It was of an arm bending backward and forwards. Your right hand was absentmindedly taking notes on the movement.

"Y/N." He said again. "We want you to meet the new owner of Magnus enterprises, Tony Stark." He said, before sighing at your lack of communication. He was about to say something else, but his buzzing phone silenced him. He looked apologetically at Tony.

"Sorry, It's my wife. I have to take this." He said, and before Tony could answer he walked out of the door and down the corridor.

Tony bent down, picking up a stack of papers off of the floor, rifling through them. "So, you're doing Stem Cell research?" He asked, you paused the video and turned in your chair, locking eyes with him.

~Holy sh*t, that's Tony Stark~

"I, umm, Hi," you mumbled, a little shocked. You desperately tried to make yourself look decent. "Yes, I'm doing Stem Cell research to aid in regrowing limbs. Now, its just skin and minor organs, but with research and development, could regrow whole limbs. I'm Y/N, Y/N L/N." You rambled, sticking out your hand for him to shake. He took it, shaking before turning back to the papers he had collected.

"Tell me more about your research." He said, and you were a little shocked when he seemed to be listening and responding.

 - Steve Rogers

You were in charge of souping up his motorbike.

"So you want a vintage world war two style paint job and customized accessories?" You asked, clarifying the order. You were standing in your garage, assessing the motorbike he had brought you. "Sounds like a difficult job..." You said, looking at the Harley Davidson sitting in the middle of your workshop. "Luckily for you, I love a challenge." You finished, smiling like an idiot. You never got to work with Harley's.

"So you can do it?" He asked, excitement creeping into his voice. He'd wanted this for a while

"Sure then, Ken Doll." You said cheekily, referring to his superhuman figure.

"Ken Doll?" He chuckled, remembering Tony drunkenly singing the "Barbie Girl" song, arm in arm with Steve in front of a thousand people, and later on the entire audience of YouTube. "No, I'm Steve Rogers." He said, introducing himself.

"I figured. The unique order tipped me off." You said, waving the clipboard in circles in the air. "That and... well, THAT." You said, gesturing to him. "Nobody has a body like that naturally. That's super-soldier right there."

Your cheeks turned red and you looked away, in awe of the fact that you actually SAID that. Sure, your headstrong and don't exactly have a filter, but that was seriously stupid! What were you thinking?

"I'm Y/N, by the way." You finally said once you felt your cheeks return to a normal color, picking up the spanner off of your desk and turning back to him.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N." He said, smiling his charming smile and holding out his hand for you to shake.

 - Thor Odinson

You were one of Sif's trainee's and one of the best young warriors in Asgard. You fought with honor, moved with justice and quickly became a known force throughout the Nine-realms. However, most of your time was spent on Asgard, training and preparing for war. Usually, you trained alone against stick-people, but one day Sif asked you to take a partner.

"Who?" you questioned, unsheathing your golden sword and slinging it over one shoulder.

"Thor Odinson." Your eyes almost bugged out of your skull. Were you training with the prince? "Usually, he trains with Loki, but he's dead," Sif said, her voice filled less with sadness and more with annoyance. You understood that.

"How many times is it now?" You asked, curious.

"Three." She said with a sigh, turning and gesturing for Thor to step forward. He bowed his head to her, then to you as you stepped into the training area.

"Your Highness." You said, bowing to him, a custom of ritualized combat.

"Lady Y/N, please, call me Thor," He said, before turning Mjolnir over in his hand, preparing to swing. You grasped your swords handle with both hands and swung a few practice strokes in the air.

"I hope you don't think I'm going to go easy on you just because you're the prince." You stated, smirking to yourself.

"I wouldn't dream of it." He said, before jumping into battle.

 - Loki Leufeyson

You were an "Avenger". Why the air quotes, you ask? Well, technically, you were the Avengers phycologist, as well as a woman with crazy telepathic powers. You preferred to stay off of the battlefield if it was possible. Instead, you focused on helping your friends and colleges feel better after long battles. Somehow, you always knew just what to say to help. You were a good person, or at least, you tried to be.

It was hard when people like Loki were constantly being dropped at your feet.

Loki had joined the avenger, you noted, and he seemed to do it of his own free will, which is frankly amazing for what seemed to be such a chaotic being. However, you were still dubious. Partially because of all the horror stories the Avengers had told you about his pranks and chaotic deeds and partially because he was half an hour late for his therapy appointment. You were about to give up on him and go get some food (You were starving, you'd been working all day) when he finally decided to make an appearance, strolling through the door to your office like he owned the place.

"You're late." You almost snapped at him.

He took a seat on the sofa across from you, looking you up and down and trying to evaluate you. "My apologies, princess, I had other matters to attend too." He said. His voice was calm and sensuous, like silk or marshmallows. Anyone else would have fallen under his spell.

You weren't buying it.

"That's not a good enough reason." You said, determined to stand up to him. "I don't know how things run on Asgard, but here on Earth, we turn up to our appointments, and we are nicer to the people who give up their time for you." You said, trying to look as powerful as possible and not at all like a woman who has more than once slept in her office. In fact twice. This week.

He was quiet for a minute, then he smiled a devilish smirk and leaned back on the sofa.

"I like you, Y/N." He said simply. "I think we'll get along."

You rolled your eyes. "Sure. Now, let's get started. we've already lost 35 minutes." You said, delving right into the session.

 - Natasha Romanoff

You're a CIA seduction specialist. It's your job to enter bars, restaurants and high society parties and seduce rich, powerful men for information. Once they were asleep, you'd steal from them. You were a spy, yes, but a very specific type of spy. You weren't a fighter, though you could protect yourself if you needed too, you preferred to love than to hurt. You were damn good, too.

Tonight, you were at a charity auction. You were dressed in some of your best finaries, a dress designed by the gods to make men drool, and sent to bid on a couple of items and seduce the main guest, a man named Alexander Brice. Little did you know, you weren't the only one there.

A beautiful redhead slipped into the chair next to you as the bidding began, the auctioneer showing of a vase that was both ugly and expensive.

"Hello there." She cooed, flicking her hair over her shoulder and looking you up and down. Your dress left little to the imagination, and you crossed your legs, the thigh slit showing off all of your leg and part of your lacy underwear. That didn't go unnoticed by her since she smirked. "CIA?" She asked. You were a little taken back but quickly put two and two together.

It was your turn to look her up and down, your eyes lingering on the low-cut neckline of her dress. "SHIELD?" You asked. She nodded, and you nodded in response.

"Natasha." She said, purposefully leaving out her last name, like any good spy.

"Y/N." You responded, taking the back of her hand and pressing a feather soft kiss to it. It was one of your seduction moves, but you thought that it might apply here too. She chuckled, patting your hand, obversely used to having the moves put on her.

"Which one are you aiming for?" You asked.

Natasha pointed to the Auctioneer with a red fingernail. "Daniel Liabre, believed to be smuggling diamonds through the underground market." She explained, and you nodded along. "What about you?" She asked.

You gestured to the main man, sitting in the front row. "I'm going for the big one." You said, licking your lips. She whistled softly under her breath.

"Good luck." She said, before bidding on the most hideous lamp.

 - Clint Barton

You were a SHIELD officer who was placed on the "Hawkeye project." You had no idea that basically means Hawkeye's babysitter. You go on missions with him and help him out with paperwork.

You met him a day after you were placed into the project. You walked into the kitchenette which was shared with the whole floor, only to see a man in a black and purple suit about to stick a fork into a toaster.

"What are you doing!?!" You shrieked, running over and knocking the fork out of his hand, He looked at you with a confused expression.

"What?" He asked, looking at the toaster.

"Are you crazy?!?" You screeched. "Are you trying to get yourself killed? That's metal and that's a toaster! Did nobody ever teach you not to do that!" You asked.

"Ummm... I'm sorry?" He said, not sure of what to do. "That was pretty stupid." He finished, looking at you. Your anger faded and you nodded, letting out a chuckle.

"I'm Hawkeye." He said, holding out his hand for you to shake. So this was the man you were supposed to be working with.

You sighed, shaking his hand. "I'm Y/N." You said.

"You seem very nice." He blurted out.

You blushed slightly. "Wow. Thank you." You mumbled, before sniffing her air. "What the hell are you cooking?" You asked, recoiling noticeably.

He smiled and proceeded to show you a beer-battered egg and bacon waffle.

 - Vision

You worked with Tony Stark, developing technology that Stark designs. You also helped to fix technology that got broken, which is how you met Vision.

He came in one day, whilst Tony was out eating lunch with Bruce and Steve. You were working on a couple of Tony's smaller robots when he floated into the lab, carrying on of his severed arms in the other.

"Tony Stark?" He asked as he floated through the door.

You looked up from the robot, putting down the soldering iron and walking around your desk to see him.

"Um... Hello?" You whispered, looking at him. He was unlike anything you've ever seen, amazingly detailed and stunningly regal. "Are you... You're the Vision, right?" You stuttered, anxious and in complete awe of him. If your sister could see you freeze like this, she would freak out.

"Yes, I am the Vision. Who are you, and where is Stark?" He asked, his voice monotoned and smooth.

"I'm Y/N, Stark's apprentice. He's not here right now, I'm sorry... What happened?" You asked, gesturing to his arm.

"I was involved in a battle with black market vibranium traders, they had a machine which tore it straight off. I was hoping that Mr. Stark could reattach it." He said, placing the severed part of his arm on a table.

"Well, He's not here and he probably won't be back for a while." You said, knowing full well that he'd probably be out drinking by now, and not back for hours, and even when he did come back, he wouldn't be in a state to do any good work. "But, If you're alright with it, I could try and help out. I'm pretty good with a soldering iron." You asked, looking for a solution.

He looked at you for a second, before smiling. "I'd be alright with that." He said as you lead him to your desk and began to solder the bend and soldered pieces off his arm off.

 - Sam Wilson

You were a waitress in a restaurant he happened to walk into. It had been raining that day, absolutely pouring down, and the man came in looking for somewhere safe and dry. You showed him to a table and gave him a menu. You couldn't shake the feeling that you had seen him somewhere before, but you couldn't quite remember where, so you just tried to forget about it. In fact, it wasn't until you were carrying food to him that it finally clicked, and you were so shocked that you almost dropped the plates you were holding.

"Your Sam Wilson!" You whispered, shock evident in your voice. He looked at you confused.

"Yes?" He said, confused. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" He asked. You shook your head, chuckling to yourself. It seemed so stupid now.

"I've been to a couple of talks you did on PTSD at the DVA. It really helped me, what you said." You said, aware that you sounded like a total idiot right now. To your surprise, he smiled at you.

"Did you serve?" He asked. For almost anyone else, that question was a grave insult, but for some reason, you didn't mind when he asked.

You nodded. "Two tours in the army. Afganistan," you explained. "I'm Y/N." You introduced yourself, smiling brightly. You were about to say more when a shout pulled you away.

"Y/N! TABLE 9 WANTS THERE CHECK!" Your manager yelled. You smiled apologetically at Sam.

"Duty calls. I'll talk to you later." You said before running away to deal with other customers.

 - T'Challa

You were a journalist covering the opening of the Wakandan Outreach center.

Everything here was so nice. Everyone was wearing fine clothes and jewelry, drinking expensive wine and laughing merrily. You, on the other hand, were dressed in a white button-up shirt and black pencil skirt with bits of leftover lunch stuck on it. You looked like a fish out of the water. You looked like a total misfit. You looked like, well, a reporter.

The main event was being held in the biggest room in the outreach center, which happened to also be part of the museum. Glass cases lined every wall displaying Wakandan artifacts and history, and you loved all of it. In fact, at one point, you completely blocked out the rest of the party and just walked the room, reading and rereading every tablet, every piece of information. It startled you, and it excited you. This was new and amazing and incredible. You blocked out the outside world so much that you didn't hear the man calling out for you, or anything until someone placed a hand on your shoulder. Instantly, you snapped back, pulling away and shrieking, not loud enough to distract anyone but definitely loud enough to make the people close to you turn their heads. It was not a lady-like sound. You turned to face your attacker, ready to swear up a god-damn storm and found...

The king of fucking Wakanda.

"Your majesty, I'm so sorry." You said, looking down at the ground, embarrassment painting your cheeks red. "I'll get out of your way..." You said, moving to his left. He soft grabbed your arm, stopping you.

"Don't be absurd, it was all my fault. I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that. Didn't you hear my approach? I called your name." He paused. "You are Y/N, correct?" He asked.

Holy sh*t, he knows your name. The king knows your name. for a moment, you hated yourself for taking up precious brain space in his gorgeous mind. Wait, what?

You shook your head, trying to gather yourself. "Yes, I'm Y/N." You said, holding out your hand for him to shake. You got a pleasant surprise when he raised it to his lips and kissed the back sweetly. you could feel your cheeks reddening.

"Thank you." You said, subconsciously rubbing the back of your hand where he had kissed. You looked around nervously at the other guests, who were looking at you half in awe, half in envy.

"You do not seem to be enjoying yourself? What brought you here?" He asked.

"I'm an international reporter, or, at least, I'm trying to be. My paper keeps trying to clip my wings, making me do those stupid little buzzword facebook articles with no real journalism, just pandering to an aisle for clickbait." You groan sadly.

T'Challa spoke thirty different languages, and yet somehow he only understood half of the words in that sentence.

"So I gotta make this article good. Not that that will be difficult, this place is amazing!" you fangirled almost relentlessly. "I mean, look at this!" you said, gesturing to the cabinets with a childish sense of awe and wonder. You pointed to your favorite things, asking questions and rambling facts like an overactive toddler. You couldn't help yourself. You were interested in this stuff.

He smiled. You were making an absolute idiot of yourself but damned if you weren't cute.

 - Scott Lang

You were Cassie's teacher, and a close personal friend of Cassie's mother, Maggie. You two had grown close, and you often spoke to her via phone conversations about her daughter or just your lives. You became, what's the word...

Girlfriends.

When parent-teacher interviews came up, you knew she'd be first in line to talk to you. Or, at least, that's what you thought. But three weeks went by, and whilst somebody had booked to see you as Cassie's parent, you didn't recognize the name. It wasn't Maggie, that's for sure.

"I'm sorry, but who the hell is Scott Lang?" You asked into the phone, trying to remember the name of the man Maggie had last been dating. You could have sworn it was Matt.

"Oh, that's...." She paused. "That's Cassie's father." She finally finished. The phone was silent for a minute

"The man who was sent to jail before Cassie was even born?" You asked in shock.

"Yes. I wasn't going to let him do this, but... He's really changed. He's Cassie's hero now, and I decided that maybe I should let them be... family. He's a nice guy, Y/N, I promise."

So the parent-teacher evening rolled around and the night was finishing up. You only had one more interview, and he was five minutes late already.

Suddenly, he burst through the door, wearing the weirdest suit and biker helmet you had ever seen. He was panting tiredly and his hair was a ruffled mess.

"Hi." He panted, walking over and taking a seat across the table from you. "I am just so, so sorry that I was late. I was finishing up some work and I totally lost track of time. Sorry!" he reiterated.

He wasn't at all what you expected. He had a dopey smile and a dorky charm to him. Not to mention, he was cute. Not the prisoner you had been imagining

"Hi, I'm Y/N, Cassie's teacher." You said, holding out your hand. He took it, shaking it excitedly.

"Hi, I'm Scott Lang, Cassie's Dad. She talks about you a lot, you know. You are her favorite teacher. She likes how you draw little pictures of animals next to her marks. She was so proud of her dolphin. It's still up on the fridge." He rambled. You guessed he didn't have much experience with this sort of stuff since he was trying so hard to make a good impression. You hated to admit it, but it was working.

 - Bucky Barnes

You were a Wakandan Therapist, one of the best in the business. Generally, you served the Wakandan royalty like Shuri or T'Challa, even occasionally Ramonda. However, one day, T'Challa brought you a white man that desperately needed your help. He had anger problems and unresolved issues, but you see deep in his eyes that he was a soft soul. You accepted the job, and thirty minutes later you were sitting in your office, across from him, watching him.

"Hello." He finally said, breaking the silence between the two of you. You jumped at the suddenness of his voice, something that did not go unnoticed. "Are you alright?" He asked. He was concerned, genuinely. He knew he was a monster, or at least he thought so.

"No, I'm alright, just a little... skittish. That's all." You said, adjusting your glasses and shaking your head. "I should introduce myself. I'm Y/N." You said, bowing your head respectfully like you did with all your clients.

"I'm James. James Barnes, but..." His voice trailed off before he finished, something you weren't going to let go.

"but....?" You asked, prompting him.

"I'd like it if you called me... Bucky." He finally said, lowering his gaze away from you. You gave him a warm friendly smile.

"Of course, Bucky." You said. He looked back up, and for a second, you swear you almost saw him smile.

 - Steven Strange

You were assistant to the Ancient One.

"He's looking at you again." The Ancient One stated as the two of you watched the students practice with there sling rings. Our attention was pointed at one of the students at the front of the class, a Mr. Stephen Strange, who had come in a few days ago. He was stubborn and seemed to be having trouble with taking up magic.

"He isn't looking at me." You stated stubbornly. "He's probably looking at you. You ARE the Ancient One." You said, making another valid point. You were good at that. As the Ancient One's assistant, you were very good at making points and teaching lessons. It was your thing.

His portal was sicking around at about the size of a dinner plate. He was trying, and he was getting better, but he still needed help.

"He did so well in the mountains..." The Ancient One said wistfully.

You rolled your eyes. "Perhaps the difference is that his life isn't at stake this time." You said.

"I think he's being distracted." She said, smirking and elbowing you in the ribs playfully.

Stephen growled and the portal disappeared. He shook his head in anger and muttered something under his breath.

The Ancient one shook her head. "Go help the poor man, Y/N. He's going to give himself a heart attack." she sighed.

You wandered over to the man, walking around him in a small circle. His body seemed to tense when you came near, but you tried your best to ignore it.

"Widen the position of your feet." You said, pausing to the left of him. "Straighten this arm." You said, tapping his left arm. "And close your eyes. I promise it helps." You finished.

"Alright." He mumbled, closing his eyes. For a moment, nothing happened. He breathed in, focusing his energy. Finally, the portal began to open, growing in size until it was big enough to walk through. You saw Wong's library through the portal and smiled.

"Good choice." You said, and he finally opened his eyes, looking at the portal. A slow smile crept onto his face.

"I did it." He said, in awe. The portal only stuck around for a minute or so, before disappearing into thin air leaving only an onslaught of sparks.

"I'm impressed, and I'm sure the Ancient one will be too." You said, waving at her. She nodded at the two of you, and you turned back to him.

"I'm Y/N, assistant to the Ancient One." You said, bowing your head as you introduce yourself.

"I'm-" Stephen started but you cut him off.

"I know who you are. You're Stephen Strange. The Ancient One has told me a lot about you." you said, turning and walking away, a sly smile creeping onto your features as you walked past the Ancient One.

"What are you doing, Y/N?" The Ancient one asked you as you walked past but before you could answer, Strange shot past her towards you.

"What sort of stuff? Y/N?!? Y/N, what sort of stuff has she told you?" Stephen said, tailing after you. You let out a cruel cackle, continuing to walk away. The Ancient One smirked, immediately shipping the living sh*t out of you two.

 -Peter Parker

You'd be friends since you were young kids, living in the same building and spending a lot of time together. so I'm going to substitute this with when you found out he was Spiderman.

You were both hanging out together on a Friday afternoon after school, a tradition of yours that went back years ago.

"So, what are we marathoning tonight?" He asked, opening up his DVD chest. You were both old-fashioned, you liked having a DVD copy of the movie instead of a digital.

You thought for a bit, before speaking. "I was thinking about an Alien Marathon. We haven't done that in forever."

"You're right. Let's do that. I'll put the disc in if you make popcorn." He said. You smiled and nodded, jumping off of the sofa and running over the kitchen. You were about halfway through making popcorn when something out of the window drew your attention. A fire in the building next to you.

"Peter!" You yelled to get his attention. He ran over, looking out the window at the fire. The color drained from his face as he looked out.

You knew some of the people who lived there, and you wished you could go and help, but you're only you and you couldn't do anything.

Peter, however, dove away into his room. "I'll be back soon!" He yelled, shutting the door.

"Where are you going?" You yelled, but you heard no response. A minute later, you saw the red spider-figure swing through the sky. You weren't stupid, you put two and two together.

Fifteen minutes later, the fire was out. Spider-man had saved two people, a woman, and her baby, from the building. He didn't even stick around to talk to the police, only swinging away. You heard a thump from inside Peter's room, followed by scuffling and the sound of someone running around, inside. YYou crossed your arms and scowled at the door. Eventually, it opened and a scruffled Peter walked out.

"Sorry about that. I was just-" He started when he saw your sour look, but you cut him off.

"You were just being Spiderman?" You asked, though you clearly knew the answer.

"No, no, what are you talking about? I'm not-" He started, shifting from side to side on his feet and avoiding your eyes, which was a sure-fire sign that he was lying.

"Before you say anything else, you should know that your shirt is on inside out and back-to-front." You hissed, pulling on the tag in plain view. You glared at him. He opened his mouth as if to say something else but quickly shut it again. For a moment, everything was quiet.

"You have to promise me that you won't tell a soul! This is my biggest secret!" He exclaimed. He was telling the truth, you could tell, and as angry as you were, you weren't going to ruin his life. He was still your friend. You anger began to melt away. You had to admit, it was kind of impressive, your best friend being spiderman all these years.

"Sure thing, Spider-boy." You finally said, smirking in a teasing way as you walked away from him and towards the TV.

"You know that's not my name, Y/N!" He all but whined, following you.

[theastrophilearchitect]

WandaVision series review part 1.

Because I have some things to say.

This is going to be posted on March 19th, at which point the WandaVision (WV) finale will have been out for two weeks; also the day Falcon and the Winter Soldier (FatWS) begins, which I have, for whatever reason, begun to think of as WandaVision's sequel, despite being a completely separate series. In 2019, FatWS was actually scheduled for before WV, so that makes no sense.

Anyway, I'm going to begin with a spoiler-free review of the series as a whole, then I'm going to go into an episode-by-episode breakdown as I re-watch the show, but the spoiler-free section will contain spoilers for the rest of the MCU. This part will cover episodes 1-3, part 2 will cover 4-6, and part 3 7-9. I’d love to do this in one post, but it’s just a little overwhelming.

If for whatever reason you don't know vaguely what WV is about, you've been living as a hermit for literally the last six years. But if you don't know: in 2015, Marvel Studios released Avengers: Age of Ultron (AoU), technically the second movie in the 'Avengers' franchise, but the eleventh movie set in the MCU, the Marvel Cinematic Universe. AoU introduced three main characters to the MCU: Vision, a synthezoid-human-robot-AI-android thing, who I would call a person but it's complicated - his consciousness is derived from the mind stone, one of six infinity stones, JARVIS, Tony Stark/Iron Man's AI assistant, Tony Stark himself, Bruce Banner/the Incredible Hulk, Thor, and Ultron, the villain of the movie, who's more of a robot than Vision, but he's not the point. The movie also introduces Wanda and Pietro Maximoff, known in the comics as Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, though they are never called this in the movies. The Maximoffs are twins who volunteered for experimentation from HYDRA, an evil Nazi organisation who provide the main antagonists in the Captain America trilogy. We are told they each gained superhuman powers from the mind stone - Pietro has an increased metabolism and improved thermal homeostasis, and Wanda can do neural electrical interfacing, telekinesis and mental manipulation, or, in the words of Maria Hill, 'He's fast and she's weird.'

Pietro Maximoff is promptly killed by somehow failing to dodge bullets, while Wanda and Vision join the Avengers, and eventually fall in love. I'm not explaining Avengers: Infinity War. Or Avengers: Endgame. If you haven't them, why are you reading this?

Anyway, so Avengers: Endgame is the third-to-last movie in Phase Three of the MCU, but is the last part of Wanda and Vision's story pre-WandaVision, and wraps up with Vision dead and Wanda grieving.

So, should you watch WandaVision? Yes. Absolutely.

We already know our two main characters and several of the other characters, including Monica Rambeau from Captain Marvel, grown up, Darcy Lewis from the Thor franchise and Jimmy Woo from Ant-Man and the Wasp, but we're also introduced to a cast of new characters, mainly new villains (but then superhero movies so rarely use old villains), who are well-developed and intriguing - you'll either love them or love to hate them.

The plot leaves you on the edge of your seat - nearly every episode ends on a cliff hanger, and leaves you with a thousand questions. It answers the bare minimum, the final episode leaving us still with some questions, but it is the perfect way to milk our investment.

On the other hand, if you aren't familiar with the MCU, Wanda and Vision, you may have quite a hard time understanding every aspect. So long as you have a vague idea of the context, you can follow the plot, but you won't enjoy it nearly as much. I really don't think it's worth watching the entirety of the MCU solely for this show, but I also think it's worth watching the MCU movies, full stop.

The series is only available on Disney+, which absolutely sucks. I've had a Disney+ subscription since it was released in the UK, so this wasn't an issue for me, but it does generally suck. Even if you are up to date with MCU movies, if you don't have a Disney+ subscription, you can't watch it. The streaming service stopped offering free trials in July 2020 due to the release of the Hamilton pro-shot, knowing they'd get an influx of new subscribers, but not wanting people to be able to watch it without paying. Capitalism at its finest.

Whether or not the cost of one month's subscription for WandaVision is worth it is subjective - though now all the episodes have been released you could easily watch it and only have to pay once.

Ultimately, I would argue WandaVision is absolutely worth watching, though someone who isn't up to date on MCU films wouldn't enjoy it as much as someone who is, and with its runtime of just under six hours, broken into nine episodes, it may not be worth the Disney+ subscription for you personally, especially if you're not up to date on the MCU. However, I would like to end this section on a positive note: I cannot get over how awe-inspiring the storytelling on this show is. Marvel has its issues with storytelling, with things often feeling disjointed in an attempt to remain unpredictable and prevent actors (*ahem* Tom Holland) spoiling events, but WandaVision doesn't feel that way at all. It's unlike any superhero show I've seen before, plays on morality and plays with sitcom formats from the last 70 years, meaning you'll love it even if, like me, you're not a fan of action-focused media - the only long action scenes occur in the last episode.

So, yes. five stars.

~SPOILER ALERT~

Beyond this mark, I'm going to go into an episode-by-episode breakdown, and it will be basically all spoilers from here. If you haven't seen the show and care about spoilers, go away. Please don't spoil yourself.

Also, in each episode's breakdown, I may point out foreshadowing and things I only notice because I've watched it already, so unless you've seen all nine episodes, you may find spoilers even if you only read about the episodes you have seen.

I watched WandaVision episode by episode as it was released, and since the first two episodes were released nearly two months ago, I'm going to re-watch the show and break it down as I go.

Episode One: 'Filmed Before A Live Studio Audience' This episode was released on January 15th along with episode two, and I didn't actually watch it until the Sunday because I wasn't invested yet, and, of all the MCU shows announced, this was kinda the one I was dreading. Before this show, I loved Wanda, but hated Vision, so I also hated their romance. I'd also seen the sitcom-style trailers and was absolutely terrified it would be terrible, so I wanted to finish the season of the show I was currently watching before watching the episodes.

So let's get into it.

The episode is only 29 minutes along, including the nearly-ten-minute credits, which is pretty standard sitcom-episode length. We open with the Marvel introduction, but as the camera zooms out, we're shown the logo in a fuzzy, monochrome, early-1900s style. The aspect ratio also decreases, which is a nice touch but very annoying because the show itself has a larger ratio, meaning there's a lovely thick black border all the way around the frame. But that's just a formatting complaint.

We move into a 50s-sitcom-style song-montage in which Wanda and Vision, looking human like that single scene in Infinity war are coming home, just married. Wanda magically buys the house and with some weird Vision-power stuff, he carries her over the threshold to their new house, and we see the logo.

Thoughts at this point? Just what? How is Vision alive? Why is it black and white? Why is there a musical song? Why are we in the 1950s? How are they married? Why aren't they being Avengers? Just sheer confusion.

Wanda uses her powers in this episode without her typical red-smoke-sparkles, and they make a lot of gags, received with a laughing track, about their powers, but generally follow a sitcom formula, with the plot of having Vision's boss for dinner and needing to impress him.

Also, it’s noteworthy that what little was left of Wanda’s Sokovian accent by Avengers: Endgame has completely vanished.

It's very odd to see Vision as Vision, as in synthezoid would-be-red-if-it-weren't-in-black-and-white face, dressed in regular clothes instead of his cape and superhero get-up. It seems like his superhero clothes aren't actually a part of him, but when he walks through things, they go with him, though he can't take other objects with him. This could be because they were made at the same time as him, but he also takes his other clothes with him. That's just a question as to the limits of his capabilities, though.

We're quickly introduced to their new neighbour, Agnes, cast in the role of Nosy Neighbour, but the cast of this episode stays incredibly small. Agnes mentions her mother-in-law being in town and talks about her husband Ralph, though neither of these characters are introduced.

Vision goes to work, raising the question of why a superhero synthezoid needs an office job, especially one he apparently doesn't know the purpose of.

Later, Vision calls Wanda from work, and she answers the phone as 'Vision residence', which is confusing on a number of levels. Wanda is a perfectly normal name, perfectly able to blend into this setting - Vision is not. Especially when he has no surname and this answering gives the impression Wanda has taken his name, and literally become 'Wanda Vision,' which is likely the point, but confusing nonetheless.

Here comes a 1950s style advert, advertising the 'ToastMate 2000'. In the ad, the two people put bread into the toaster, which toasts and beeps for an unnervingly long time before coming out. We're then told it's made by Stark Industries (Iron Man's company) with the slogan: 'Forget the past; this is your future!' Ominous, and clearly playing into the fact we seem to be on an alternate timeline.

Towards the end of the episode, Vision's boss's wife, Mrs Hart, begins asking questions about their past - where they moved from, how long they've been married, children, etc. - and Wanda and Vision freeze, trying to answer, but apparently unable to remember. Mr Hart, Vision's boss presses, but they fail to answer. Mr Hart begins to choke, and Wanda and Vision freeze, while his wife laughs, telling him over and over to stop it, until he falls out of his chair, and Wanda tells Vision to help him, which he does using his powers, though neither Mr nor Mrs Hart question this, and quickly leave, having barely eaten. Overall, the dinner is apparently a success.

Wanda and Vision realise they don't have wedding rings, and Wanda makes some, in a clearly cut-together shot reminiscent of the intended style. The camera then pans out to 50s-style credits, crediting the two cast members, producer, director, writer, photographer, music director, production manager, supervising editor and several other roles, with names I'm sure have some relevance, either to real cast members or some comic reference, but don't mean much to me.

The camera continued to pan out, showing the episode playing on an old fashioned TV in some kind of technological/industrial room. A hand presses a remote button, and we cut to the real credits, against a background of warped shots of screens, which then zooms into the pixels and we see a load of formations, such as of their house. Credits which are seven minutes long, though the length has nothing to do with the show itself.

One more thing: it's hard to notice during the episode, but during the credits we see a warped shot of Vision, in which his eyes appear human, where previously they've been fairly robotic.

This episode brings up a million questions and answers literally none, so, glad there's another episode, we move on. I enjoyed this episode, and enjoy it more the second time round, now knowing the answers to most of my questions, but it's so frustrating.

Episode Two: 'Don't Touch That Dial' This episode is 36 minutes long including credits, which is still fairly standard sitcom length. I watched this one directly after the first, and my frustration only continued.

Something I've only just noticed watching this the second time through: this episode opens with a recap of the first, and it recalls the events without including character introductions--except for Agnes. The recap includes her introduction, but nothing else of her, which, even though she's technically irrelevant in episode one, clearly means the writers are trying to make the audience remember her.

The comedy-style intro to this episode is in a cartoon-style, which opens with an image of the moon surrounded by six stars which light up in turn, a nod to the infinity stones.

Here, Wanda and Vision--Wanda especially--are wearing less traditional-50s clothes, though the first time round I didn't question this because Wanda's hair was nearly the same--just a little longer and more relaxed--and so was the way it was shot, the black-and-white, and the aspect ratio. I didn't quite make the decade-jumping connection, though looking back it is fairly obvious we've shifted to the 1960s.

Since this episode still follows a comedy formula, in which every episode has its own arc which rarely intersects others, the plot of this episode is Wanda and Vision participating in a town talent show and attempting to blend in. After the intro, we see Vision practising, and Wanda brings out a cabinet of mysteries for their act, which has an image reminiscent of the mind stone on the doors.

With Wanda acting as Vision's magical assistant, he gives her the name 'Glamour,' a nod to her powers, and 'glamour' in the more magical, less-celebrity sense. It also matches Vision's magician's name, 'Illusion,' from which it becomes a nod to the fact this whole set-up seems so abnormal, and, an illusion or glamour.

Before the intro to this episode, we see Wanda and Vision getting woken up in the night by some banging. Later in the episode, we hear whirring and another bang, which prompts Wanda to go outside to investigate, where she finds a crashed toy helicopter, in colour. The helicopter has a sword symbol on it--the first time we see this.

Agnes then brings Wanda a rabbit for the magic act, who she calls Senor Scratchy, a reference to Nick Scratch, a colloquial name for the devil. This was part of what led to initial speculations about which character was actually comic-villain Mephisto in disguise - WandaVision also draws heavily from comic series 'House of X', in which Mephisto is the villain. Obviously, people began assuming Agnes was either Mephisto in disguise, or working for him.

Agnes then advises Wanda about Dottie, the leader of some organisation Wanda is apparently trying to join. Skip to the meeting, Wanda emulates Dottie’s actions to appeal to her. Dottie is then rude to a woman giving some sort of account, but she forgot to ask about the chairs, to which Dottie says ‘Devil’s in the details, Bev.’ Agnes then says to Wanda, ‘That’s not the only place he is,’ which added to the speculation about Mephisto.

The committee Wanda is with is working on the talent show to raise money for the elementary school--’For the children.’ This phrase is repeated throughout the episode, and foreshadows Wanda’s motivations as the show progresses. Wanda meets a woman named Geraldine, who says she feels out of place, foreshadowing her true identity, and how she, personally, came to Westview.

Meanwhile, Vision attends a neighbourhood watch meeting and one of the men offers him a stick of gum, which he takes despite the fact he can’t actually eat food, as a synthezoid. One of the men slaps him on the back fondly, and Vision swallows the gum, which we see as a cartoon of it going down his mechanical oesophagus. 

Wanda stays behind at the committee meeting to help Dottie clean up, and Dottie tells her she’d heard things about Wanda and her husband, which Wanda responds she ‘doesn’t mean anyone any harm,’ and Dottie tells her she doesn’t believe her, as though she’s mentally returned to reality, continuing to foreshadow the reveal in the next few episodes. The camera zooms in, the music intensifies, and a voice comes from the radio beside them, asking if Wanda can hear him. Dottie asks, panicked, who it is, and who Wanda is. The radio short-circuits, and Dottie breaks the glass she holds, cutting her hand, and the blood is red.

The advert in this episode contains the same actors from the previous one, this time advertising the Strucker watch--a reference to Wolfgang von Strucker, a Nazi villain from the Captain America franchise; also the head scientist on the experiments which Avengers: Age of Ultron claims gave the Maximoff twins their powers. The slogan is ‘He’ll make time for you,’ which, even now, I’m not completely sure what it’s a reference to, or who the ‘he’ could be, but it seems to further suggest Mephisto’s involvement, despite that not actually being the case.

Cut to the talent show, Wanda panics because Vision is late. He shows up, walking and acting as if drunk, and we’re shown the gum is stuck around some gears in his gut. On stage, Dottie makes the audience chorus ‘for the children’ again, and Wanda and Vision come out. Because of the gum stuck in Vision, the act goes sincerely wrong, and he uses his powers out in the open, but Wanda manages to use hers to apparently hide this from the audience. They bring out the cabinet of mysteries, and Agnes asks sarcastically if they’re sure they don’t want an audience volunteer named ‘my husband Ralph?’, the second mention of Ralph in the series. 

Vision taps the box with his wand before Wanda gets inside, and the audience starts chanting ‘What’s in the box?’ Wanda panics, does something with her powers, and opens it to reveal a very confused Geraldine inside. Their act ends, and Wanda uses her powers to find and release the gum stuck in Vision, and he seems to ‘sober up’. They try to leave, but Dottie calls them up on stage, praises them and presents them with a trophy for their comedy. Wanda calls up Geraldine, who asks what happened, but they play the ‘magician never reveals his secrets’ card.

They get home, and joke about it, repeating ‘for the children’. Wanda gets up, deciding to get popcorn, and is suddenly quite pregnant, where she very much wasn’t before. There’s a thud outside, and they go to investigate. A manhole cover in the road shifts, and somebody in a beekeeper’s suit, with the sword logo on the back, emerges, face in shadow. Wanda merely says ‘no’, and we rewind to before the thud. Colour then begins to bloom onto the screen, and the episode ends, with an echo of the voice from the radio.

Looking back, I think the shift to colour on Wanda’s part may have been a decision because of the helicopter, and the blood--the beekeeper prompted it, but she’s trying to hide the fact that the things which do not belong are so obviously out of place.

This episode holds no more answers than the last, and has the same comedy tone with the ominous undertones as the last, but also contains significantly more characters and locations, as though this sitcom world has expanded.

And then we had to wait a week for episode 3.

Episode Three: ‘Now in Colour’ And we shift to the seventies. This episode’s recap recalls all the major points of the last episode, including Geraldine’s introduction. This episode is only 32 minutes including credits; longer than the first, but shorter than the last, so we’re still sticking to the comedy format, and the episodes aren’t yet lengthening.

Just a point a little irrelevant to this: WandaVision’s total runtime is about six hours, and we’re getting six FatWS episodes, which is probably about the same runtime but a little disappointing (though that’s mostly because it means there’ll be a couple weeks where we get nothing between it and Loki).

The introduction to this episode is more classic sitcom, with the long pop-style song over a montage of the characters--exactly what you’d expect from the seventies. The episode opens with a doctor at their home, who tells them she’s about four months along, which she obviously isn’t. Vision questions how this happened, but it becomes fairly clear to the audience this is Wanda’s doing. Vision asks the doctor not to tell people about the pregnancy, and sees his neighbour to the non-Agnes side, Herb, trimming his hedge, but the hedge-trimmer is going through the garden wall, and he hasn’t seemed to have noticed. Vision points this out, Herb verbally acknowledges him, but keeps going.

Vision returns inside, and Wanda’s pregnancy has progressed even further. Wanda uses her magic to prepare the baby’s room, and her magic is still missing her signature scarlet, a continuing sign something is wrong. The baby kicks, Wanda describes it as ‘fluttery’, and accidentally makes the butterflies on the baby’s mobile real. 

Vision mentions the name ‘Billy’, and Wanda says ‘Tommy’, ‘a nice, classic American name’, returning emphasis to their efforts to fit in. Wanda gets Braxton-Hicks contractions, and her powers turn on the tap, open the window, flare the lights--the pregnancy causes her to lose control of her powers, and the block’s power goes out. Wanda mentions the people of Westview ‘always seem to be on the verge of discovering [their] secret’, and Vision says something seems wrong there. The music intensifies and the camera zooms in, then we cut back to before he said that, but without the rewind sequence we saw in the last episode.

And Wanda goes into real labour, sending Vision in a panic. Then it begins to rain inside, and Wanda comments she thinks her water has broken.

Cut to commercial! Same actors again, this time for Hydra Soak--’find the goddess within’. It’s a bath product meant to take you away from your problems--a reference to Wanda’s apparent escape from what she was left with after Endgame. I’m not completely sure what all the HYDRA references are about, even after watching the whole series.

It stops raining inside, and Wanda opens the windows to dry out the house, and I cannot get over how perfect her hair is in this episode. It’s perfect in the others, too, but this time, it’s perfectly straight, not a strand out of place, and I just can’t get over it.

Vision goes after the doctor, who was about to go on vacation when he left, and the doorbell rings. Wanda puts on a coat to hide her belly, and welcomes Geraldine in, but tells her it isn’t a good time. Wanda gets a contraction, and her coat transforms. And again. So she throws it off, and uses a fruit bowl to disguise it, but Geraldine doesn’t leave. 

A stork appears behind Geraldine, apparently the one Vision painted on the nursery wall earlier, and Wanda has to do her best to keep Geraldine from seeing it. She tries to make it vanish in a cloud of red smoke, her typical magic, but fails, and Geraldine eventually hears the stork, but Wanda tells her it’s the ice maker. 

The baby, however, it very quickly coming, and Geraldine sees Wanda’s belly. She lays Wanda down, and she births the baby, while light fixtures break and paintings spin, before Vision arrives. My God, her hair is so damn perfect. The baby’s a boy, and Vision concedes to Wanda’s name choice of Tommy. Then Wanda screams again, and Billy is born. For the children.

Vision goes outside with the doctor, and asks about his trip. The doctor tells him that small towns are ‘so hard to... escape,’ yet another ominous implication. The doctor leaves, but Herb is still outside, now without the hedge-trimmer, but with Agnes. They whisper about something, then Vision goes over. Agnes says ‘Ralph looks better in the dark, so I’m not complaining,’ when he asks if they lost power, too. And Agnes asks if Geraldine is with Wanda, as though she is suspicious, though knowing how episode seven ends, her true concern is clear.

Inside, Wanda tells Geraldine she’s also a twin, and the music intensifies. Geraldine says, ‘He was killed by Ultron, wasn’t he?’ in reference to Pietro--Quicksilver.

Agnes says Geraldine is new to town, no husband, and no home.

Wanda asks what Geraldine said, but Geraldine goes back to complimenting her. Wanda presses, but Geraldine’s sudden clarity seems to have gone. Then we zoom in on Geraldine’s necklace, and it’s the Sword logo.

Herb tells Vision Geraldine ‘came here because we’re all...’,but Herb can’t get the words out.

Wanda asks about the symbol, who Geraldine is, but she says she doesn’t answer.

Agnes makes Herb stop talking, and leaves. Vision returns inside, and Wanda tells him, rather monotonously, that Geraldine had to return home. But the camera cuts to the Westview sign, suddenly with a wider, more modern aspect ratio. It’s night, the air ripples like TV static, and Geraldine comes flying out, as though pushed. She collapses on the ground; cars approach, a helicopter casts a spotlight on her. We pan out to some kind of camp, and cut, to that dreaded ‘Please stand by’ credits screen.

And episode three ends, leaving us still without answers, but at least a little confirmation of something malevolent occurring. 

So, that’s my initial overview and breakdown of episodes 1-3. Part 2 will contain episodes 4-6, and part 3 7-9 plus my final thoughts.

But that’s that for this week’s post; the next two parts should be up next week and the week after, unless I have something I want to post more.

Anyway, go drink some water, eat something if you haven’t eaten in the last few hours--you’re amazing, you’re beautiful, and you so deserve everything you have, and more.

Bye!

[doctorroseprompts]

Rec list for the week of 10/1/17

If I counted right, there were 55 fics this week! Thank you so much to everyone who wrote for us this week, especially those who made Tentoosday such a huge success. 

If we missed your fic, please send one of us a message. (Tumblr eats asks with links in them, so that’s not the best way to let us know.) We went through multiple tags and our mentions more than once, but with this long of a list, I wouldn’t be surprise if we missed something.

And now, the list!

Fall Fic Fest

Forever and Never Apart 22/42 by @chocolatequeennk (Ten x Rose, fall on an alien planet)

A Day to Remember 1/5 by @chocolatequeennk​ (Ten x Rose, fall on an alien planet, autumn first date

)Fall Festival by @blueboxesandtrafficcones​ (Nine x Rose, nswf for naked Jack, prompt: fall on an alien planet)

Tenth Doctor month

Bedside Manner by @starsandfairytales (Ten x Rose)

Sweet by @starsandfairytales (Ten x Rose)

Doctors Prefer Blondes by @blueboxesandtrafficcones​ (Nine x Rose, Ten x Rose, prompt: I prefer blondes)

Other prompts

Faith of the Heart ch 4 by @rishidiams (Nine x Rose, prompt: soulmates au

Looking Glass 4/5 by @chiaroscuroverse and @fleurdeneuf (Nine x Rose, dub con--aphrodisiac trope. NSFW)

Written on Your Heart 2 by @blueboxesandtrafficcones (Ten x Rose, soulmates au)

Best of Times 2/? by @cryofthewolf (Three x Rose, soulmates au)

Tentoosday (All are Tentoo x Rose)

Going under a cut because there were over 30 things for Tentoosday!!

The Doctor Can’t Sleep by @ialwayscomewhenyoucall

A Thousand Lifetimes by @jemsauce (kid fic)

Making Each Other Blush by @stupidsatsuma

Fall on an Alien Planet by @asarahworld-writes (also for fall fic fest)

The Man in Blue by @waitingonthetardis

The One Where Rose Is Sick by @goingtothetardis

Getting a Taxi at 2am by @blueboxesandtrafficcones

Not Just One by @jemsauce (baby fic)

Future Planning by @starsandfairytales

Happy New Year by @jemsauce

Rose Tyler: Defender of the Metacrisis by @jemsauce

Separation Anxiety by @jemsauce

Meditations on Awaiting the Sunrise by @starsandfairytales

One  Autumn Night by @stupidsatsuma (kid fic, also for fall fic fest)

Happy Together by @blueboxesandtrafficcones (kid fic)

Homework Help by @lastbluetardis (kid fic)

To Dance Upon a Time by @goingtothetardis (nsfw)

A Microwave Disaster by @jemsauce

All I Need by @chocolatequeennk

Chocolate Chip Cookies by @thegeekywhovian (pregnancy fic)

Memories and Promises by @chocolatequeennk

After All This Time by @tenroseforeverandever (kid fic)

As Long As We Both Shall Live by @chocolatequeennk

Toasters at Two AM by @starry-nightflyer

Bathtime by @lastbluetardis (nsfw)  

Generation T by @onthedriftinthetardis

Promises of Forever by @blueboxesandtrafficcones

Acceptance by @starry-nightflyer

Untitled #4 by @badwolfinthetxrdis (kid fic)

Nightmare by @blueboxesandtrafficcones (kid fic)

Welcome Back by @blueboxesandtrafficcones (kid fic)

You Need to See a Doctor by @starry-nightflyer

The Diamond in Your Engagement Ring is Fake by @blueboxesandtrafficcones

Four Times Jackie Tyler Tricked the Doctor by @thegeekywhovian

If We Let Go pt 1 prologue ch 1  by @megabadbunny

Fanart, edits, and manips:

Rose Tyler, I Love You by @jemsauce (Tentoo x Rose)

Tentoo and Rose Tyler’s wedding in Pete’s World by @billspiperr (Tentoo x Rose)

Departed by @jemsauce (Tentoo x Rose)

It’s Not What It Looks Like by @jemsauce (Tentoo x Rose)

My Coat! By @jemsauce (Tentoo x Rose)

Halloween Surprise sketch by @ladydiomede (nsfw, accompanies @gingergallifreyan’s fic above) (Tentoo x Rose)

The One Adventure I Can Never Have by @billspiperr (Tentoo x Rose)

Married Life by @billspiperr (Tentoo x Rose)

I’m Okay by @jemsauce (Tentoo x Rose)

I’ve Only Got One Life by @jemsauce (Tentoo x Rose)

[fandom-necromancer]

929. Now I know where half my wardrobe went.

This story was prompted by a lovely anon! Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

Nines was anxious to begin. In front of him lay several wooden planks of various sizes, cardboard-boxes, tubes of glue and buckets of paint. He didn’t quite know how to begin; he had only bought what several websites suggested and had returned home. Killing time really wasn’t his strong suit. He didn’t know how long he stood there as a message came in. What r u doing tin-can? Gavin laid stretched out on his sofa, head hanging over the edge stretching his neck tense from work and bad posture. He held his phone in front of his face in a position that could as well be yoga. Enjoying my vacation in piece and silence, Nines send back, picking up a plank trying to “see” something in it like the articles had described. Aw, come on, what did I disturb that has you this pissed? Gavin grinned at the screen. It would be fun to get to know a more personal side of the toaster. What had him so frustrated? I’m trying to find a hobby, as you instructed me. A hobby different to making fun of you. Nines laid the plank down. There had to be easier ways. He grabbed the cardboard and stared at it with his best interrogation face. Oh, baby’s first hobby? Can I come over? Gavin didn’t want to miss Nines stumbling into humanity at any cost. For what reason? The android put down the cardboard too. Gavin coming over was something he wanted to avoid. Not to get it wrong, he liked the guy. It was pleasant to work with him and he actually was a nice conversationalist once he had completed his Gavin-English dictionary. But having him over to watch him fail a seemingly easy task wasn’t how he had planned his day to go. Hey, I’m human, I have hobbies. Maybe I can help you. Gavin wasn’t dumb, he realised the RK900 wanted his distance. But by God, if Gavin wasn’t a stubborn pain in the ass. And on top of that all: bored. Fine. Gavin had nearly texted an enthusiastic “hell yeah!” but stopped himself rolling off the sofa and very pointedly not run, just hurry a little, to his room to find something decent to wear.

He arrived at Nines apartment, knocking on the door and having it opened to the android out of his Cyberlife jacket. It was a bit taken aback by that; he had never seen him without it in his life. Maybe that was his idea of wearing something comfortable at home, who would know. ‘Err… Hi!’, Gavin greeted him and was let in with a simple ‘Detective.’ ‘Hey, you know we are not at work, you can just call me Gav- woah.’ Nines had closed the door behind him, leaving him to look into the living room full of wooden planks and other bulky material as well as tools. ‘Hey, toaster, you trying to build all the furniture for someone?’ ‘… No. Is it too much?’ ‘Depending what you want to do with it’, Gavin shrugged, kicked off his shoes to the side of the hallway and hung up his jacket. ‘If you want to re-furniture my brother’s mansion, then it would do I guess.’ ‘I planned on experimenting with basic woodwork and model making’, Nines explained a bit shy. ‘I don’t have anything else to do during the vacation you pressed on me.’ ‘Hey, don’t make me look like I’m the bad guy here. I’m sure Fowler won’t complain having you at the precinct without me.’ ‘He does complain. I went to work this morning and he told me to “go find a hobby”. You said the same to me, so I wanted to at least give it a try.’ ‘You actually went to- you know, never mind. What do you want to build?’ ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Well that’s unfortunate’, Gavin laughed. ‘You should have some idea.’ Nines sighed. He had known it would end in the man making fun of him. ‘If you came here just to see me fail, I would advise you to leave.’ Gavin looked at him startled. ‘Hey, Nines, I came here to help you. I mean it. Sorry that I laughed. It’s just… You prepared to build the Cyberlife tower life-sized with this and have no idea what to do. Normally people start smaller.’

Nines looked at the man marvelling at his mindless creativity. ‘That’s actually a good idea’, he nodded and didn’t pay the frowning human so much as a glance as he started picking up pieces of wood again. ‘What have I-‘ ‘Take a seat, Det- Gavin.’

It was fascinating seeing Nines work away with robotic speed and precision on a wooden block, until a few hours later he had completed a perfect replica of the Cyberlife tower. ‘Wow, that’s super impressive, Nines’, Gavin cheered. ‘It looks exactly like the real thing!’ The android smiled. Whether it was from the [mission successful] blinking in his HUD or from the praise he didn’t know. ‘And what are you going to do next?’, Gavin asked him. To Nines it was clear as day. ‘Why refurnishing your brother’s mansion when you can build a whole city?’

Nines had worked the whole day on his project and recreated belle-island. Gavin had sat there with him the whole time, just watching him and cheering whenever a building or tree was added to the bunch. One time he had ordered take-out and ate it and Nines hadn’t even batted an eye at it. Afterwards he had helped, gluing the buildings to a plate the android had cut to without doubt resemble the exact soil conditions over there. The man had left him only late in the night yawning and thanking him he had been allowed to come over. Nines accepted it, knowing well he should have been the one thanking him.

The next days he tried out a lot of different hobbies. Later, when he had made his mind up about how much he liked the different activities, he would continue with his projects. Gavin had only been there for some days and activities, enjoying his vacation only to come over when he was bored. Nines had begun caring after plants he had bought. He started cross-stitching. He took up cooking on a day Gavin was over for the practical reason of having someone to taste it only of course. He had tried puzzles, singing and foreign language learning. When it had come to magic tricks Gavin had been there as an audience for him. The last activities on his list were bread baking and pottery.

Baking was something simple, without much reward for him except for a nice smell. So it was on the same day he unpacked clay and set to work on a simple vase. He started up the electric potter’s wheel and started, fascinated at how the clay changed under pressure. Until he experimented too much with pressure and speed and the whole thing came suddenly flying at him landing across his chest. So much for pottery…

Frustrated he had been so stubbornly determined on trying it the human way without any program-guidance, he stood up to change into a clean turtleneck and wash the one he wore. Interestingly enough his wardrobe was empty. His spare upper-body clothes gone. Nines cocked his head to the side and closed it again. Had he left his spare pair at work? He didn’t care too much about it, as he went to the bathroom and pulled off his shirt to wash the clay away. He could always order new ones from Cyberlife as they had been produced in advance for the army he was supposed to become. When there were two-hundred-thousand jackets with his number on it, he wouldn’t shed any tears over it.

He put more interest in evaluating his experimentations. He disliked pottery. Cross-stitching was relaxing but felt inefficient to him. Caring for plants was too easy. At least with the plants he had bought. Puzzles were too little of a challenge too. Same with learning a new language, as he always could just download another patch. What he really liked had been cooking and building the model city. And doing the magic tricks with Gavin. What was the connection between them? Maybe if he found one, he could discover new hobbies with that trait more easily. He had liked Gavin’s reaction to his card and coin tricks. That was also true with cooking. And if he was honest with himself that too was the case with the model city. With a bit of shock, he realised that maybe he didn’t like these hobbies more than the others. Maybe he just liked that he had company. No that couldn’t be. That was so irrational. That wasn’t like him at all. But it was true.

He was faster out of the door that he could realise he had forgotten to fetch his jacket on the way out. A short drive through town he ended up in front of Gavin’s apartment hacking his lock to be let in. He had to tell him this weird development and needed a human to explain it. As far as he knew a hobby couldn’t be a person. He barged into the living room to face a terrified human wearing- ‘Is that my jacket?’ ‘I swear it’s not what it looks like!’, Gavin cried out, stumbling over the words. ‘Now I know where half of my wardrobe went’, Nines mused. ‘Wait, how does this look like?’ ‘Ahh, dunno, sorry! You can have it back!’ He scrambled off the sofa while pulling it off hurriedly. He finally got out of his Cyberlife jacket and had the seams of the turtleneck between his fingers as Nines gently put one hand on top of his with a pained look on his face. ‘Keep that on… please.’ ‘Err… okay. This is awkward as hell, sorry. Wait- half your wardrobe? I stole two things…’ ‘I don’t have to change. I don’t sweat. And my clothes never… They rarely get dirty.’ ‘Okay, we definitely have to go shopping someday’, Gavin uttered, still uncomfortable with being caught. Nines wanted to disagree, but then closed his mouth at the realisation that would mean he got time to spend with Gavin. So, he nodded. ‘Okay, after that weird start, what did you break into my home for anyways?’, Gavin asked. Nines straightened his back. ‘Is it possible for a hobby to be a person?’ The human laughed. ‘Heh, well, normal people would call that friendship or something, but… maybe? Why?’ ‘I tried out every hobby I had on my list. In the end I compared them all to find my favourite. I found out I had to add one.’ ‘Really? Then come on, tell me! What is it?’ ‘You.’