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supercutszns · 4 months

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bitter to the taste; luke castellan

series masterlist

wc + pairing: 5.5k, luke castellan x f!reader

synopsis: a sharp blade, a black eye, and (more than) two kisses.

warnings: this is even sluttier than the last one, language, sword fighting, sharp objects, blood/injuries, reader is still a horrible person and so is luke but he's also a loooser, making out, allusions/mentions of sex but no super explicit descriptions, kind of fluffy at the end

notes: i’m starting to hate this bc i think i’ve been staring at it too long sorry if this is not as good as pt.1 but i have plans for this series ok. also READER AND LUKE ARE NOT GOOD PEOPLE!!! THEIR RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT ALWAYS BE GOOD!!! THEY SUCK!! they are also not real but keep that in mind :) synopsis inspired by crush by ethel cain; designated song for this fic is unpunishable by ethel cain (i’ve got a whole chronological playlist for these freaks like it’s serious)

You’ve always had a taste for violence. And an equally powerful penchant for sloth.

You prefer to watch the carnage, not participate. It satisfies something inside you that you know, if it wasn’t for your laziness, could cause something irrevocable. Who the hell has time for that?. You’d rather lie back and watch instead.

This flaw of yours is the only reason you haven’t stirred more trouble, you think. It’s the reason you never attend camp games or sparring lessons. Sometimes, when you do, a dark muscle flexes inside your heart to curl out of its slumber, forming a hunger you don’t have otherwise. The second it starts to pry you have to rear yourself back and tuck the monster in. Banish the need for something more.

You don’t want to feed it. You don’t know what happens if you do. So you let other people do the feeding for you.

Luke cuts through two dummy heads in one swoop. It’s fucking gorgeous. The moon reflects off his sword, a silver sheen casting his face when he’s in the right spot. His brows are set, eyes so dark they blend with the night. Every motion is ruthless. Satisfying.

You don’t know how many times you’ve watched him like this. He called you out for it last night, but you’re sure he doesn’t know the half of it. The shadows are a sacred cloak to you, and you wait inside them until you want your presence known.

Meet me tomorrow.

It runs through your head like a broken record. You can still feel his breath on your lips and your neck is still tender—had to wear a sweater in the blazing heat to hide the marks. Since you were created you’ve accepted a universal truth about yourself: you don’t harbour affection for anyone or anything. There’s not a single thing you’ve felt drawn to or protective over but yourself. It’s solitary, yes, and lonely, yes, but that’s the way you’re supposed to be.

But you think about last night. You think about the moments between the kisses and the rush. When he teased you against your ear. When his hand brushed a certain spot on your back and something much lighter fluttered inside of you. When you crawled into sleep and thought about him, those were the moments that struck you the strangest.

His gaze pans over the treeline every once in a while, the anger diluted. Then it comes back twice as hard as he shreds another dummy to pieces.

He’s waiting for you. Oh, this is rich! A better person would probably turn around and go spoon their offerings into the bonfire the second they understand what they’re doing is incredibly destructive. But who are we kidding? You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.

So you take a step forward, slip out of the comfort of the dark, and the next time he looks to the treeline he knows you’re there. He can’t see you, but he knows.

You wait. His strikes are less tenuous, much smoother. It almost makes you laugh. Some fucking showman he is.

Eventually, he buries his blade in the dirt and wipes his brow. “Are you gonna come talk to me or are you gonna stare at me all night like an owl?”

You relish in the feeling of shedding the darkness, coming into the light of the moon. “Hi,” you say flatly, but there’s a tiny smile on his face when he sees you that almost puts you off.

“Hello, rotten.” He tries to lean on the hilt of his sword but it isn’t quite tall enough so he stumbles. It’s so pathetic it almost makes you laugh.

“Don’t call me that,” you grimace.

“Okay, back to heathen?”

“Don’t call me that either.”

“Well, you don’t seem too happy when people call you by your name so pick your poison here.”

You don’t say anything, your mouth set in a scowl. “All right, both it is,” Luke shrugs.

He’s different from last night. Less impatient. You hope it’s not because he thinks he has you now—he’s got another thing coming. “I almost thought you weren’t gonna come,” he says with a crooked grin, neither bashful nor ashamed.

You’ve made your way closer to him, the soft grass turning to dusty earth. “Don’t know why I did,” you mutter crassly.

Having abandoned his sword, Luke chuckles wryly. “Yes, you do.”

That bitterness he hides from everyone else pierces through. He tilts your face up like he did yesterday, the press of his fingers beneath your chin almost burning you. You know he’s peering at the marks on your neck.

“If you made me come here just to hook up with me you’re delusional,” you glare.

“What, like that’s not why you’re here?” He pushes your face up a little higher, grinning a little when you add resistance. “I’m a gentleman, you know. I can be patient.”

This guy is full of fucking shit.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” you snipe. The only point of contact you have is his hand on your chin, but you’re a hair’s breadth away from having everything else. The air drifting between you is almost palpable, shrinking smaller and smaller like it’s terrified of being trapped between you.

He keeps your face still. He’s studying you, and you’re suddenly curious about what he sees. You remember all those looks you’d share at the dinner tables that made this happen in the first place. What did he see then?

“You wanna fight?”

It takes you a second to react. “What?”

“You want to fight. Pick up a sword, let’s go.” He smiles as he finally lets you go, waltzing away from you to unbury his sword from the dirt. His touch permeates through your skin and you hate it.

“What the fuck are you talking about? I can’t fight.”

“Sure you can,” he replies, grabbing another sword from the training rack. “You need to burn off a little steam.”

You laugh sharply. “And you think me waving a sword around is gonna do that?”

“Uh, yeah,” he grins. “It’s the method that lets us keep the most clothes on.”

You glare at him. His smirk is a mile wide. The way your stomach is simmering almost makes you sick; it’s like gorging yourself on candy except this time the candy has a sword and maybe wants to fuck you.

You just watch as he hands you his sword, and the moonlight glinting off the metal has you believing it’s not the kind used for training. “I’ll use the dull one,” he assures. “C’mon, heathen. I know you’ve used a sword before, they force us to.”

“I usually skip those classes.”

He laughs. You can’t tell if it’s at you or with you. “Of course you do.”

You don’t like following orders, but oh, what the hell. Luke knows something about you, just like you know something about him. You’re only a little curious about it.

“Straighten your back,” is the first thing he says once you’ve taken your stance across from him. The blunt of his sword reaches out to tap your hip.

You begrudgingly do as you’re told. He watches you mirthfully, and the press of his sword against you starts to feel like a substitute for his hand. All the closeness you’re hungry for, dampened by cold steel. It still makes you buzz.

He gives you the barebones—the right grip, how to maneuver, the proper balance. But long gone is his easy disposition. The motor inside him that powered all those dummy beheadings and disembowelments is running again, except this time it’s for you. He wants a fight. This is his battlefield. All right, you’ll bite.

You start to spar with the skill of an overgrown toddler. The sword feels like an unnatural ligament hanging off your body. Luke is precise, convicting, far more enthusiastic than you. “You can do better than that,” he prods after your swords clash lazily for the billionth time. “Stop going easy.”

“You’re going easy,” you shoot back.

“Yeah, but I’d really rather not. Come on.”

There’s a moment of hesitation. You think about that dark thing you keep harboured. A muscle aching to be used.

“Come on,” he says again, and he almost sounds pissed. “All of a sudden you’re playing nice? What are you afraid of?”

Something flares inside you. “Nothing!”

“Then pick up the sword and fight me.”

You huff and roll your eyes, but your next swing is far more inspired. Luke blocks it easily, but you don’t care. “There we go,” he nods. “Again.”

This is more than you bargained for when you decided to come see him. All you want is to make out with this hot, awful person and have him tell you hot, awful things about yourself you probably already know. Why do you have to fight to get it?

He keeps provoking you no matter how hard you try. Your temper picks up the more you swing, discordant clangs bruising the air, but it’s still not enough. Luke doesn’t let up. Of course the one time you try to be nice, you’re not allowed to. On second thought, why are you reigning yourself in for Luke? The only other person in camp with a real, consuming viciousness? If anything you should hit him twice as hard, since he’s so sure he can take it.

“No wonder you’re so angry all the time,” Luke heaves out, and it gives you a swell of satisfaction. “You don’t have a proper outlet. Maybe you’d be nicer if you didn’t sit around and complain all day.”

“Shut up,” you gnash your teeth.

“Just saying, maybe you should do something about it.”

You’re getting lost in the rhythm of the swords, the adrenaline, the sweat passing the scar on his cheek. Every swing you think less and less, and that dark muscle flexes more and more. It feels like home to you. Like a good meal. Your bones ache and the world has darkened, but that rotten pit inside you cracks open in full bloom.

Luke keeps egging you on but you can’t hear him. Not like he still needs to. You think you’re smiling, or huffing furiously, or both. The sharpness of the sword intrigues you. A million terrible things reflect off its blade and you imagine them, all at once, until you are out of your body and the black hole inside you has properly wedged itself open.

Luke jabs at you and you bring your sword down with a vengeance. But it’s a little too low. You only notice when he drops his weapon to the side and staggers back.

The fog of violence falters. It fades almost completely when he hisses long and hard, eyes screwed shut, and you see the tear in his shirt. In his skin.

“Shit,” you say. “Fuck.”

You don’t sound sorry, you don’t think you are sorry, especially when he laughs. It’s a wheezy one through his teeth as you come up to him, but a laugh nonetheless. “Knew you were going easy,” he remarks through a wince.

You ignore him, looking down at the injury. A gash across his abdomen. It’s bleeding a little, but not enough for it to drip. You did that. Just looking at the blood, you feel the bitter taste of it in your mouth, the reward a temporary hunger for carnage brought you. This is why you don’t play camp games.

“I’ve got thick skin. I’m fine,” Luke says casually. “I’ve got a medical kit under that tree over there in case I beat myself up too bad.” He’s no longer scrunched in pain, and you’ve got a feeling he’s telling the truth. So you go fetch the kit where he said it was. You need to wrap that slash. Not because you’re sorry for him, but because looking at it makes you angry.

You kneel and pop the lid of the small tin kit, covered in dirt. It’s mostly gauze and bandages. Rubbing alcohol too. “Just give me the gauze, that’s all I need,” Luke gestures.

“Shut the fuck up, I’m doing it myself.” You’ve already torn off some gauze, sitting all the way up on your knees.

“Most people just say sorry.”

“You pushed me,” you spit back, surprisingly forceful. Luke’s smile drops. You take a deep breath, adjusting yourself to get eye level with the injury. “I told you I don’t fight.”

You’re not sure what makes Luke give in, but he doesn’t say a word as you lift the hem of his torn shirt and he holds it up. There’s no proud remark about your eyes lingering on his stomach, or the hesitation in your hands. You stare at the wound. It really is shallow. Your thumb presses at the skin around it and he winces. “My bad,” you mutter.

As you sterilize the cut and wrap the gauze around his torso, you try not to let your fingertips cling to the warmth on his skin. You try not to notice the other scars littered there, most faded to the point they should be impossible to pick up even in the sun. It’s obvious he’s staring at you. Your neck is crawling with warmth. But you don’t engage, you just wrap the gauze a few times and do your best not to notice the rise and fall beneath his muscles as he breathes. Then you fasten things neatly and put everything away so you can get up. Any second. Come on.

“Good?” You ask instead, exhaling.

“Good,” he affirms. He slides a hand under your forearm and gets you up. It stays there once you’re standing. The night stills.

“I’m guessing you’re adding ‘attempted killer’ to your list of horrible qualities,” you go on to break the silence.

He holds your gaze unyieldingly. “I’d consider that a pro, actually.”

You are entirely fed up with this drawn out evening, but you can’t bring yourself to speed anything up any more than stepping closer so your chests brush. “I will give you one, though,” he continues, craning down to your ear. You smell his skin and it sends you back to the position you were in yesterday.

He finally kisses your jaw, just once, then your neck. You shiver. “You’re too tense.” Another kiss behind your ear. It’s not enough. “Do you even know how to have fun?”

“I don’t want to have fun,” you reply bitterly. I just want to make out with you, asshat.

Luke’s breath frosts over your face when he chuckles, but before he can get any further away you catch his mouth with yours. Almost instinctively his arm winds around you to pull you in closer, your hand looping through his curls. It's a relief, knowing last night wasn't some freak accident. This does feel good, actually, and it can happen. Everything you felt yesterday is only more urgent now, hungrier, and you're pretty sure the way you kiss him gives that away.

He indulges you, squeezing the base of your hips as his other hand thumbs across the marks on your neck. This is so fucking embarassing—you think you whine when he bites down on your bottom lip. You’ve never needed something this bad, you’ve never needed anything. But you press yourself as close to him as you can manage and his hand runs lower, slips against your inner thighs, and it’s difficult to worry about anything else.

Until he pulls away. Like a dick.

He doesn’t go far, his forehead pressed to yours, but you feel like pulling out all his hair. It’s a muddling mix of frustration and longing you’re starting to associate with him. “Dude,” you groan, an inner coil only starting to unwind begrudgingly compressing.

“Let’s go for a swim,” he says. The enthusiasm is almost alarming. Almost makes him look younger.

You’re homicidal. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Yes, heathen. Let’s go for a swim, come on.”

He’s rubbing circles on your thigh, which only makes you want to strangle him. “But I—I don’t have my bathing suit,” you string out.

The smile gets more boyish. “Wow, whatever shall we do?”

It’s another challenge. Another dare. And he knows what you want, fucking jerk. You’re going to kill him.

“Fine,” you grunt, and the second the words leave your lips you’re pulled to the lake.

It’s a warm, sticky evening, only made worse with the sweat and the half-assed kissing, so the water doesn’t seem all that bad. Unfortunately, you don’t like giving into demands. So you stare ghoulishly at your fingernails as Luke tosses off his ripped shirt and his shorts so he can plunge into the lake. “Aren’t you going to at least come in?” He asks, but you don’t look at him.

“I don’t like swimming,” you lie.

“At least your feet. It’s nice, I swear!”

A splash, like smoke moving through wind chimes. You look up and Luke has completely submerged, popping his head up closer to the mouth of the dock. “Please,” he says with such conviction your resolve turns to butter. Gods, what is happening to you? You still need that lobotomy!

You sigh, roll your eyes, turn your back to him. “Fuck this,” you mutter under your breath. You undress to your undergarments and you’re not sure if you want Luke to be watching or not. The moon touches your bare skin and a chill trickles through you.

You take a seat at the edge of the dock, knees tucked to your chest. Luke swims over for you right away. His hair is dripping against his skin, and you hate how beautiful it looks. The waterline is high tonight, almost ridiculously so, so he props his elbows up on the dock with no problem. “Come in,” he urges.

“No.”

“Just your legs?”

“No.”

“Gods, I’ll make it worth it, just throw your damn legs in!”

Your eyebrows shoot up. His face is stubbornly pink. Oh, so now he wants something. You take your time uncurling yourself and Luke wades away from the dock so you can put your feet in. The water goes up to your calves, and you shiver. “So fucking difficult,” he mutters, and your pulse flickers.

“Sorry, what was that?” You let yourself grin for the first time all night.

“Nothing,” he hums. This time when he comes to the dock, he wraps his hands around your calves. You’re pretty sure he can stand here because he stops treading. The warmth of the water seems to spread further, long past the threshold of your knees.

He rests his chin just above your knee, water pooling on your skin. “Stop dripping on me,” you complain.

“Sorry.” He fake pouts when he kisses the damp spot. You see, ever so faintly, a diabolic shift in his expression. He nudges your leg with the point of his nose, then kisses it, then starts to move it aside. “Feel bad about teasing you all night,” he murmurs, still with an edge. He presses more kisses on your legs. “I really did want to see you.”

The irony that he’s still teasing is not lost on you. You’re not loving how desperately warm you’re starting to feel. “Why’s that?” You lean back on your palms.

“You’re a very interesting person,” he quips innocently. His hands are cupping the backs of your calves. He’s pulled you a lot closer to the water, and somehow you’ve just noticed. Another blistering kiss on the inside of your thigh.

“You’re fucking evil,” you scathe.

He looks up at you from between your legs. “You have literally done nothing but berate and injure me this whole evening.”

“Yeah, and right after I patch you up you jump in the water for shits. You’re playing infection roulette, Castellan.”

“See? You’re so mean.” He sighs, and in a move that almost surprises you to death, he hoists both your legs over his shoulders and they dangle into the river behind him. “And here I am anyway, making it up to you.”

You are suddenly illuminated on the purpose of this situation. Why Luke is between your legs. Your heart jolts. “Luke, you can’t be serious.”

“Mmhm.” He leans forward to kiss right under your navel.

You hate how much you want him to do it again, how your body burns, but you avert your eyes. “Someone’s gonna—someone’s gonna hear us.”

He snorts, “No they won’t. Either this or you come in the water with me. Or both. We’ll see.”

A huge smile cracks across your face before you push it back down. You’re going to spend a lot of time coming back to this moment, this night, wondering why. “What is wrong with you.”

It comes out like a compliment when it leaves you. You want to vanish. Luke chuckles, and something foreign to the both of you buzzes through the air.

“Are you going to be nice?” He asks against your skin.

“Are you going to be quick?”

His mouth finds your hip bones and yeah, why the hell would you say no to this? He nods, “Swear.”

That’s all you need. You let your eyes slide shut and your head tilts towards the sky. Luke takes your permission and runs with it, pries you open with his mouth until the stars soak through the black of your eyelids.

You discover pretty quickly neither of you are good at keeping promises.

The next time you need Luke’s med kit, he’s already awake.

It’s been happening more and more often. You lurking around camp past moonrise and finding Luke outside his cabin, going for a walk or a stretch or a … something with you.

“Do you ever sleep?” You ask him sometimes between flurries of kisses with your back against a tree.

“Could ask you the same thing, heathen,” he squeezes your hips and nips at your neck, but never answers the question. And neither do you, so you’re both okay with it. You’d hate to give up this feeling, but he doesn’t need to know that.

This is the first time in your punitive life you have felt alive. Like a person, with bones and flesh and soul, a real presence. Not a ghost of smoke and shadow. You are real.

Fooling around makes you feel like an actual teenager. You’re young, you remember when Luke joins you in the dark. You’re having fun. His hands under your shirt and his mouth on your collarbone, the way he bites down and winces when you do something a little too well, when you string out his name and he rewards you for it. You’re both greedy, insatiable people, so there’s a push and pull only the two of you would ever be able to handle. And nobody has to know. Despite all the bruises, the sleepless nights, the swollen lips, all you and Luke share in the daylight are noxious looks, and that's only if he can find you. A perfect crime. Camp Half-Blood’s angel and the vice that lives in the shadows. But in the dark, it’s hard to tell which is which.

“Luke,” you whisper. “Luke.”

“I’m up,” he grumbles, peering up at you. “You shouldn’t sneak into my cabin.” He was already sitting up in his bed when you slipped in, and he didn’t notice you were there till you were right in front of him.

“Worried someone will catch me? You should know better.”

He follows you outside so you don’t wake the other campers. There’s a thrill knowing just one interaction between the two of you could ruin both your reputations forever.

“What is it, heathen?” He asks as the door closes behind him. It’s so dark and your back is turned to him, but his voice is drenched in smugness. “You don’t usually want to put up with me more than once a night.”

“Don’t have a choice,” you mutter, staring out at the camp. You go to chew on your bottom lip, but you wince immediately. “Where’s your kit thingy? The one we used after I impaled you.”

“You mean after you lightly grazed me?”

“Just tell me where it is, Luke.”

Your sharpness could cut through any sleepy daze he possibly has. He’s silent behind you for a second. “Why?” He asks.

“Because I need it.”

His hand curls around your shoulder and before you can think to submerge yourself in darkness, he turns you around. When he sees you, his face breaks from something proud to something … you’re not sure you like. “Oh, heathen,” he murmurs. “What happened to you?”

You guess it’s a semi-appropriate reaction, although you expected at least a grimace. To put it lightly, your face looks gnarly as fuck. There’s a bruise on your cheekbone and your lip is split. But what really draws attention is the half-formed, garish black eye swelling up your right side.

“Just the usual. Pissed someone off.” It hurts the skin on your lip that’s caked with blood.

He rests his thumb on your unbruised cheek, but somehow it still stings. You know he can’t see much of you in the dark but he tries. The prolonged eye contact without the imminent promise of a kiss feels foreign. “You need to go to the Apollo cabin,” he concludes, brows pushed together.

A laugh slips past your broken lips. “No fucking shot. They would not help me.”

“Why not?”

“Because one of their shit-eaters did this!”

The words take a moment to register. You see them filtering through Luke’s brain. He blinks absurdly. “An Apollo guy beat you up?”

“Not beat up. Just … tussled.”

“How much tussling earns you a black eye, exactly? From Apollo kids.”

“Gods, just tell me where your kit is so you can go back to fucking sleep.”

His fingertips inch around the back of your neck, thumb still against your face. “Already wasn’t sleeping. I might as well help you,” he shrugs. “I move the kit every once in a while so some other campers don’t ravage it.”

“I don’t need help.”

Luke opens his mouth, then sighs deeply. He takes a firm hold of your arm and starts to tug you along. “Hey, what—” you swat at his arm.

“You’re ridiculous,” he huffs. “Come on.”

It’s strange. Luke’s never done you a favour before. At least not one like this. You’re disgruntled enough that you had to go ask him in the first place and now he’s dragging you around? “This isn’t such a big deal, Luke,” you badger. “I’m fine.”

“Sure, whatever. Wait right here.” He lets go of you and only then you realize you’re in front of the Apollo cabin. You grimace, and Luke must have noticed because he says, “Don’t worry, I’m just gonna go inside and grab some things. No one’s gonna jump you.”

You scowl at him, and he just laughs. A part of you hopes he hits his head on the way in. You hide anyway.

It’s a few minutes of waiting in the oppressive summer heat, until Luke emerges from the cabin with his hands full. He looks around, hesitantly calling, “Heathen?” Then again. You move out of your hiding spot and he jogs over to greet you.

“Nice haul,” you comment. There’s an ice pack, cotton pads, a few miscellaneous items. “How’d you get them?”

He smiles widely. “Everyone loves me, heathen. It’s not hard.”

“…So you stole them.”

“Yes, but only because I’m too tired to talk to people and I’m protesting for your sake,” he rattles off. “Now hold this ice pack before it gives me frostbite.”

The two of you make your way down to the docks again. It’s morphed into your usual meeting place, since the waves lapping at the shore mask when Luke gets a little too noisy just to piss you off. (At least that’s what he tells you.)

He’s stashed his little tin in a different tree this time. After he retrieves it he sets everything out like a chef preparing to make a meal out of gauze and rubbing alcohol.

Your head has been throbbing for the past few hours. You’re not proud that you antagonized the wrong Apollo kid and got a shiner for it. You’re less proud that you came to Luke for help. Just like everyone else does.

“Come,” he gestures, tugging at the waistband of your pants. You scoot closer to him and swallow the weight of your pulse when he touches you.

Luke slowly presses the ice pack to your black eye, letting you hold it. “What did you do to earn this, anyway?” He asks, head tilted to the side.

You’re hissing because of the ice, half-consciously shifting into him. “The usual. Spat at him. Made fun of his daddy a little too much. Tripped him so he landed face-first in his offerings.”

“You did not,” Luke laments as he dots alcohol onto a cotton pad.

“You’re allowed to say you’re proud of me, Saint Castellan. I won’t tell. You can be mean.” Your voice drips with irony, and you hope it bothers him. The flex in his jaw gives it away.

“You’re always gonna be meaner,” is all he says back. “This is gonna hurt.”

It’s all the warning he gives before he presses the pad against your lip. The sting envelops you immediately, and your good eye squeezes shut. “Shit, ow!”

“Stop moving your mouth.”

“Fuck,” you swear anyway. Your lip burns so hard you can feel it in your teeth.

Luke holds your jaw with his other hand so you can’t shy away. “I’ll kiss it better,” he teases. “Almost done.”

You roll your eyes, but Luke takes the pad off a few moments later. “Serious question. How are you so awful to people all the time?”

A groan tears through your throat with such force your head tilts back. “Not you too! I don’t need a fucking reason, there is no reason. Why doesn’t anyone get that?”

“I’m not asking why. I’m asking how.”

He’s oddly serious, the caress of his thumb on your cheek far slower. You hate it when people want a reason why you’re like this, just to help them sleep at night. But from the bags lining Luke’s eyes, sleep doesn’t seem to be on his radar.

“I just don’t care,” you admit, shrugging. “I don’t care about any of them. I don’t care about what they can do to me. I don’t care about anything.”

“…What about the Gods?”

It makes you cock your head. “Huh?”

“You wouldn’t care about them, either?”

You think, but only about which words to use. “No,” you decide, “They don’t scare me. They’re nothing. What are they gonna do to me?”

Luke snorts, almost nervously. “Uh, punish you for saying that, for one.”

You turn back to him, ice pack leaving your eye as you gesture. “How? By killing me? Pecking out my eyeballs? Burning me alive? I’m telling you, I don’t care. I don’t care about anything. It’s all just nothing to me. I’m fucking unpunishable, I’d like to see them try.”

Huffing, you look back up at the firmament of stars. Luke says nothing.

The grass rustles as he shifts, and his mouth ghosts over the bruise on your eye. “Unpunishable,” he murmurs, like he’s testing it out. Then he places an uncharacteristically gentle kiss just beneath your eye. And another just above. “We’ll see about that.”

You get that feeling again, the unbearable lightness in a place it shouldn’t be. Mixed with the poison lodged in your heart.

Luke kisses you, still so delicate that you wonder if he’s been body-snatched. If anything, your bleeding lip feels soothed against his. His hands cradle your face with no ferocity at all. It seems wrong.

“How do you feel?” He asks after pulling away, dark eyes nebulous and wide. The night usually sharpens his features. Now, they’ve been hushed.

“Um, better,” you reply.

He hums, laying a slow trail of kisses on your jaw. “Did you at least get the other guy?” He asks between kisses. “Like, did you hurt him?”

“Not really,” you divulge, wondering if you should feel shame.

“Why?” He’s made his way to your neck now, nudging your jaw up so he can kiss behind your ear.

“I’m not a fighter.” And, without warning, for a reason you will never, ever be able to explain, your tongue adds, “I’m a killer.”

Your own brows furrow. Luke pauses for a moment, but knocks his nose against your neck. “Guess one of us has to be.”

There’s no more fooling around. No snappy insults, no feverish kisses, no hunger to be satiated. Luke just checks you over a few more times, hides his med kit, and you both get up to sleep. But his hand wraps around your wrist, far less firm than when he dragged you here. “Stay in my bunk, heathen,” he offers. “Leave in the morning.”

You think you’re making a mistake when you agree, but it doesn’t feel like one.

The next day, after you’ve left Luke’s bunk, rumours float around camp that Luke Castellan accidentally butted some Apollo kid in the face with his sword during training. Caused a bloody, broken nose. Luke was very sorry, apologized profusely.

But you know, by the way he takes you behind the stables that night, that he didn’t mean a single damn word.

luke taglist: @sunniskyies @apollos-calliope @lillycore @sunny747 @m00ng4z3r @pabkeh @thaliagracesgf @theadventuresofanartist @bonnie-tz

rotten taglist: @thaliagracesgf

leave a pm/comment/ask if you'd like to be added to a taglist :)

#perrie’s fics #rotten to the touch #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan smut #luke castellan pjo #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #charlie bushnell #pjo x reader #luke castellan fic

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apollos-olives · 6 months

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unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary for you to go out to do your work or school, then participate in the strike. i get it, life happens. sometimes you can't skip stuff. hell, even i can't skip everything tomorrow, but that doesn't mean you can't do your part. do what is absolutely necessary for you and your life, and then join the strike for us. join a protest, don't go out to eat, post more awareness on social media, do whatever you can. if you can't do one thing then find something else to do. there are countless ways you can help. do not feel guilty that you have to take care of your life, but try to give as much of your time and dedication to supporting the palestinian cause. good night and free palestine 🇵🇸🇵🇸

#i get it guys #it's finals season #hell i can't even skip my classes tomorrow because i was gone all last week and i'm devastatingly behind and need to catch up on my classes #or else i'm going to fuck up my life even worse than it already is #like i get it #but once you're done with your work then please strike with us #show support #palestine #free palestine

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teamdarkdaily · 2 months

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In solidarity with the strike today there will be no daily post and instead two will be posted tomorrow. While you're here though, please take your time to participate in the strike by spreading information and fudraisers to help Palestinians in need

Here are a few links to help you get started. If you have the means, please donate what you can. If you don't have the means, share these to hopefully reach people that do:

Operation Olive Branch spreadsheet for helping families in Gaza

eSims for Gaza

Help Gaza Children

#free palestine

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artichao · 3 months

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GLOBAL STRIKE FOR GAZA MARCH 2ND

Hey, if you didn't know there is a GLOBAL STRIKE AND MARCH tomorrow, March 2nd.

I'm not a big voice on here but I'm hoping I can at least let more people know, as I wasn't aware of this until now. I'm hoping to spread awareness before the strike, so we can get as many participants as possible.

Whilst marching your streets is the ideal, if you cannot (like me) PLEASE try to contribute in other ways. Here are some ways you can still help, based on our previous strikes:

Please only keep social media posting about Palestine. They are all that matters. Do not interact with anything else. Everything else can wait. Flood the pages with support.

Do not buy non-essentials. Luxury items aren't important.

Remember your daily clicks on arab.org.

If you're going out, try to make yourself visible. Wear the Palestinian flag. Wear something watermelon related. Wear something resembling the colours. Again, try to refrain from purchasing anything non-essential.

Try to donate to organisations such as http://gazaesims.com/. Please feel free to reply/reblog with more sites/organisations that directly aid survivors/the cause.

SPREAD THE MESSAGE. Use your platforms. Do not be afraid to lose followers; that does NOT matter. Your numbers DO NOT matter. These PEOPLE matter. Even if your reach isn't large, EVERY effort matters.

If you favour your interests more than human lives, please check yourself and your humanity. Talking about them does not matter more than real human lives.

If you have anything else to add please feel free to reblog with more links, ways to help, information etc.

Remember to keep yourself safe whilst marching.

Palestine will be free. From the river to the sea.

#palestine #strike for palestine #strike for gaza #ceasefire now #ceasefire #free gaza #gaza #free palestine #strike #march #march 2nd #shut it down for palestine

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thescaredsapphic · 3 months

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THERE IS A STRIKE TOMORROW, MARCH 2ND. PLEASE PARTICIPATE. IT'S ONLY ONE DAY. PROTEST, GO TO WALKOUTS AMD MARCHES IF YOU CAN.

#free palestine #palestine #free gaza #gaza #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #shut it down for palestine #strike for palestine #gaza strip #gaza genocide #gazaunderattack #from the river to the sea #palestine genocide

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dailyjermasparkle · 2 months

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I am nonbinary but I'd like to use my ask to request a "don't forget to FREE PALESTINE"

https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/thank-you/

DO NOT FORGET TO DO YOUR DAILY CLICKS!!!

Also, I recommend that you do research to learn about what brands to boycott if you are able. Also, if you have the ability to, you should participate in the strike ordered for tomorrow!

(i also appreciate you requesting a sparkle post for a good cause)

#free palestine #jerma sparkle #sparkle on!

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jupiter-va · 3 months

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Why are some of y'all using your time to harass fanfiction authors that have chosen to take a break (for a single week, mind you) about posting under the tags that they know will bring awareness to their posts? If you are that desperate to read your porn, just...look for it? And also, if you have the time to bother people, you should also have time to participate in the strike. It ends tomorrow, you'll get your precious porn back in a bit, excuse them for caring about the lives of innocent people. I'm happy to be mutuals with/be following many authors that are using their platforms. Keep doing what you're doing and don't let weirdos bother or discourage you ^^

If you haven't already, please check out this post. It has links for those that want to educate themselves and help out

#jupiter va #free palestine till its backwards #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #tlou2 #free gaza

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minarixx · 10 months

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𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐍𝐨 ✯ 𝐊.𝐓𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚

"𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙'𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚, 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙. 𝙄 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙬𝙝𝙮"

PAIRING. Tsukishima Kei x f!Reader

CONTENT. Angst, Cheating Tsukishima

Y/N and Tsukishima, a couple engaged to be married, until a shocking revelation of Tsukishima's infidelity rocks Y/N's world on the eve of their wedding.

WC. 3.4k

A/N. Writers block rn. I really liked the symbolism and metaphor and writing I used in this one so I hope you enjoyed it as well. I might rewrite my older and short ones cause I hate them so much. Anyways, Inspired by My Best Friend's Wedding (1997)

Not edited

Masterlink - Songs Unwritten

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the city skylines where Y/N and Tsukishima's love story began. It was a place filled with memories and promises, but today, the air was heavy with uncertainty. Tomorrow was meant to be the day when Y/N would become Tsukishima's wife, the day they had eagerly awaited and planned for. Yet, fate had a cruel twist in store.

Y/N had always been a girl of hope and dreams. Growing up, she had always believed in love and soulmates. Her engagement to Tsukishima was supposed to be a fairy tale come true.

When she first met Tsukishima, Y/N couldn't help but be intrigued by his stoic and reserved demeanor on the volleyball court. It was a chilly autumn afternoon, and they were both participating in a local volleyball tournament. Y/N had always been drawn to the sport, and she eagerly observed the players, seeking to learn from their techniques and tactics.

As she watched the matches unfold, her attention was drawn to a tall and lanky tall young man in the middle position. Tsukishima's movements were precise and calculated, and he displayed a level of skill that impressed even the most seasoned players. However, what caught Y/N's attention the most was the intensity in his eyes and the way he seemed to keep his emotions tightly locked away.

Curiosity got the better of her, and during a break between sets, Y/N decided to strike up a conversation with him. "You're an excellent middle blocker. Your blocks are on point."

Tsukishima glanced at her briefly, his expression remaining impassive. "Thanks," he replied curtly.

Undeterred by his reserved response, Y/N continued, determined to break through his shell. "I've seen you play a few times before. Your techniques are impressive. How long have you been playing volleyball?"

"Since elementary school," he replied tersely, not offering any more information.

Y/N sensed his reluctance to engage in conversation, but she was determined to connect with him on some level. As the tournament progressed, she made small efforts to strike up conversations during breaks, asking about his favorite plays or how he got into volleyball. It was a slow process, but Y/N's genuine interest and friendliness gradually began to chip away at Tsukishima's guarded exterior.

Over time, they found themselves exchanging more than just volleyball-related conversations. They discovered shared interests in books, music, and even silly jokes that would elicit a rare chuckle from Tsukishima. Y/N learned that beneath his aloof façade, he had a dry wit that matched her own, and they found comfort in each other's subtle sarcasm.

As their conversations grew more frequent, Y/N noticed that Tsukishima's walls were starting to come down. He seemed more at ease, even cracking a genuine smile from time to time. Y/N was thrilled that she was able to break through the barriers he had built around himself.

Tsukishima's childhood friend, Asami, became a part of their lives too. They were the three musketeers, but little did Y/N know that the bond between Tsukishima and Asami was deeper than she imagined. They even had a lighthearted marriage pact with Asami, Tsukishima's childhood friend, that if none of them were married by the age of 30, they would marry each other.

But life took a different turn when Y/N came into the picture. Tsukishima and Y/N's connection was undeniable, and they fell in love deeply and irrevocably. Their love seemed to transcend the bounds of their childhood pact, and they decided to get engaged, looking forward to a lifetime of happiness together.

As the soft evening light streamed through the curtains, Y/N found herself lost in a whirlwind of memories. The room felt filled with echoes of laughter and whispered promises as she reminisced about the journey that led her to this very moment. Her fingers gently traced the delicate gold band adorning her finger – the engagement ring that symbolized the love story she had always dreamed of.

It was a lazy evening, and Y/N had decided to surprise Tsukishima with a visit to his home. The knot of anticipation tightened in Y/N's stomach as she approached Tsukishima's house. Tomorrow was meant to be the day of their long-awaited wedding, and she had come over to surprise him with the final touches they had planned together. A warm smile graced her lips, and she couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he saw the arrangements they had made.

However, as she pushed the door open, her heart plummeted to her feet. Right at the entrance, a pair of unfamiliar women's shoes lay neatly placed, catching her eye like a glaring beacon. Her mind struggled to process what she was seeing. Thoughts raced, but she couldn't deny the sinking feeling in her chest.

An unsettling sense of dread took over as Y/N stepped further into the house, her footsteps echoing in the silence. "Tsukishima?" she called, hoping for an explanation, hoping that she was wrong.

What Y/N saw shattered her world into a million pieces. There, in the dimly lit room, stood Tsukishima and Asami, their hands intertwined as they gazed into each other's eyes with a tenderness that was meant only for lovers. Y/N's breath caught in her throat as she tried to comprehend the scene before her.

Her voice quivered as she walked through the house, and the sight that met her eyes was a painful blow to her heart. In the living room, there they were – Tsukishima and Asami, sitting close together, their hands intertwined, their faces far too close for Y/N's comfort.

The room seemed to spin around her, and she clutched her chest, trying to steady her breath. Her vision blurred with tears, and she took a step back, unable to bear the betrayal before her.

Asami's eyes widened with guilt, and Tsukishima's face turned pale, realizing that their secret had been exposed. Y/N took a step back, her mind racing, desperately searching for an explanation or a reason that could justify what she had just witnessed.

The damage had been done, and Y/N could hardly bring herself to look at either of them.

"I-I can't believe this," Y/N whispered, her voice trembling with hurt and disbelief. "How could you do this to me, Tsukishima?"

Asami looked equally guilty, her eyes filled with remorse. "Y/N, we never wanted you to find out like this. It just happened, and we never meant to hurt you."

Y/N felt a mix of emotions – anger, betrayal, and heartbreak. Her whole world felt like it was crumbling around her, and she struggled to find her footing amidst the chaos of her emotions.

Tsukishima reached out to her, his voice filled with regret. "Y/N, please, let me explain. It's not what you think. It was a mistake, and I never wanted to hurt you."

"How can you say that?" Y/N choked out, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You knew how much I loved you, and yet, you chose to betray me."

The words hung heavy in the air, and the pain was palpable. Y/N turned on her heels and ran out of the house, feeling like she couldn't breathe. The world outside felt like a blur, but she kept moving, seeking solace and clarity amidst the chaos in her heart.

Y/N found herself standing on the same beach where she and Tsukishima had once shared beautiful moments. The waves crashed relentlessly against the shore, mirroring the turmoil in her soul.

She clutched the engagement ring on her finger, a painful reminder of the love and dreams that had shattered. The future she had envisioned had crumbled into pieces, leaving her heartbroken and lost.

At that moment, she didn't know what to do or where to go. But as she stared out into the vastness of the ocean. As Y/N stood on the beach, gazing out at the vast expanse of the ocean, she felt an overwhelming sense of despair. The crashing waves mirrored the turmoil within her, and she was torn between holding onto the love she once believed in and the pain of the betrayal that had shattered it.

Tomorrow was meant to be the day she had dreamed of – the day she would marry Tsukishima, her soulmate, and start a new chapter of their lives together. But now, it felt like all those dreams were being thrown away, lost in the depths of the ocean before her.

Her mind was a whirlwind of confusion, anger, and heartbreak. Part of her wanted to confront Tsukishima, to demand answers, to try and salvage what was left of their love. But another part of her knew that the trust had been broken, and nothing could ever be the same again.

As the sun set on the horizon, casting a warm, orange glow across the water, Y/N sank to her knees on the sand. She clutched her engagement ring tightly, feeling the weight of its symbolism in her hand. It was a symbol of the love they had once shared, but now, it felt like a painful reminder of the love that had been lost.

Her heart ached, not just for herself but for everyone who had been excitedly preparing for the wedding. Friends and family had come together to celebrate their love, but now, it seemed like it had all been a facade.

She closed her eyes, feeling the tears welling up once more. It wasn't just the wedding she was mourning; it was the future she had imagined with Tsukishima – the laughter, the shared dreams, the moments of love and understanding.

As Y/N stared out at the ocean, lost in her thoughts, a figure caught her eye in her peripheral vision. Turning her head, she saw Asami running towards her, her face etched with worry and concern.

"Y/N!" Asami called out, breathless as she reached her side. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Are you okay?"

Y/N felt a mix of emotions at the sight of Asami – the woman who had been at the center of the painful revelation. Part of her wanted to push her away, to demand answers, but another part yearned for someone to lean on in her moment of vulnerability.

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes, and she turned her gaze back to the ocean, unable to meet Asami's gaze. "How could you?" she choked out, her voice trembling with hurt. "How could both of you betray me like this?"

Asami's face fell, and she knelt beside Y/N, her voice filled with remorse. "I know I can't justify what happened, and I never intended to hurt you, Y/N. It was a mistake, and I regret it deeply."

Y/N's heart ached, torn between wanting to hear an apology and wanting to push Asami away. "A mistake?" she whispered, her voice filled with bitterness. "Do you have any idea how much pain I'm in right now?"

Asami reached out to touch Y/N's hand gently. "I can't undo what happened, but I'm here now. Please, let me try to explain."

A part of Y/N wanted to turn away, to shut Asami out completely. But another part couldn't help but yearn for closure and understanding, as painful as it might be.

Taking a deep breath, Asami began to speak, her voice soft and remorseful. "It started out as innocent , Y/N. Tsukishima and I have known each other since childhood, and we had this marriage pact. But as we spent more time together recently, old feelings resurfaced, and we made a mistake. I'm so sorry."

Y/N listened, her heart torn between anger and sadness.

"Why didn't you both tell me?" Y/N asked, her voice trembling with emotion. "You were both going to let me marry Tsukishima without knowing the truth?"

Asami looked down, her guilt evident in her eyes. "We knew it was wrong, and we wanted to stop, but we were scared of hurting you even more. It was selfish, and I regret it deeply."

Y/N took a deep breath, her heart heavy with conflicting emotions. "He's got you on a pedestal but me in his arms," she uttered, her voice barely above a whisper. "Is that how it was all along? Was I just a place holder for him?"

Asami looked down, her gaze filled with guilt. "I can't speak for Tsukishima's feelings, Y/N. But I do know that you mean a lot to him. He loves you, but he also made a terrible mistake."

As Y/N stood there in front of Asami, clutching the engagement ring tightly in her hand, her tears fell like raindrops on a stormy night.

Just as she was about to speak, she heard a familiar voice call out her name. Tsukishima emerged from the shadows, his eyes filled with a mixture of sorrow and regret.

"Y/N, please," he pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion. "Give me a chance to explain."

But the pain within Y/N was too raw, too overwhelming to bear. "Explain what, Tsukishima?" she cried, her voice breaking with each word. "The lies, the betrayal? There's nothing left to say."

Tsukishima took a step closer, reaching out as if to touch her, but he hesitated. "I know I made a terrible mistake," he said, his voice choked with remorse. "But please, let me try to make it right."

Y/N's heart ached, torn between wanting to believe him and wanting to shield herself from further pain. "How can you make this right?" she asked, her voice filled with anguish. "You're engaged to me!"

As Tsukishima looked into her tear-filled eyes, his own filled with pain. "I was a fool, Y/N. I let my fear and confusion cloud my judgment. I never wanted to hurt you, but I let my emotions get the best of me."

Tears streamed down Y/N's cheeks, and she shook her head, unable to find the strength to forgive him just yet. "Why did you even ask me to marry you," she whispered, her voice barely audible above the crashing waves.

Tsukishima stepped closer, his desperation evident. "Please, don't throw the ring away," he implored. "It meant something once, and I want the chance to prove to you that it can mean something again."

In that moment, Y/N's heart wavered, torn between the love she had once shared with Tsukishima and the pain of his betrayal. The memory of the happiness they had once found in each other tugged at her heartstrings.

Summoning all the courage she had left, Y/N shook her head, tears falling like raindrops. "I can't, Tsukishima," she said, her voice resolute.

The weight of the engagement ring on her finger felt suffocating, a constant reminder of the shattered dreams and broken promises. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she knew that she couldn't carry the burden of that ring any longer.

With trembling hands, she removed the engagement ring, the symbol of a love that had turned to betrayal. As she held it in her palm, her heart ached with the weight of the decision she was about to make. She looked at the ring, its delicate gold band gleaming in the fading light, and she knew that it no longer held the same significance it once did.

With a mix of pain and determination, she flung her arm forward, releasing the ring into the vast expanse of the sea. It glimmered for a moment in the sunlight before disappearing beneath the waves, swallowed by the ocean's depths.

As the ring vanished from sight, Y/N felt a sense of pain wash over her.

The sea seemed to embrace her grief, its vastness swallowing her sorrow.

As the ring disappeared beneath the water's surface, Y/N felt an overwhelming emptiness engulf her. The tears kept falling, and she knew that walking away from him wouldn't erase the pain she felt.

Her heart shattered into a million pieces, and the world around her seemed to blur into a haze of desolation. The love she had once believed to be eternal had crumbled, and she was left standing on the precipice of a dark and unknown future.

With a heavy heart, she turned away from the sea, Asami and Tsukishima, feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. The beach, once a place of happiness and laughter, now held only memories of betrayal and heartache.

Days turned into weeks, and the ache in Y/N's heart showed no signs of subsiding. The pain of betrayal lingered, leaving her feeling lost and adrift. She tried to keep her distance from both Tsukishima and Asami, seeking solace in the company of friends who were always there to support her.

One evening, as she was going through old messages on her phone, Y/N stumbled upon a post. It was a picture of Tsukishima and Asami standing together, their arms wrapped around each other with smiles that felt like a cruel twist of fate.

As her eyes widened in shock, she began to scroll through the messages and discovered the truth. Tsukishima and Asami had indeed gone through with the wedding, sealing their love just a few hours after Y/N's heart had been shattered. They didn't want all that money and venue to go to waste and just like that her dreams were stolen from her.

The revelation hit Y/N like a tidal wave, knocking the breath out of her. It was a betrayal on a whole new level, as if the universe was conspiring against her, mocking her pain. The two people she had trusted the most had found comfort in each other, using their deceit to validate their actions.

"How could they?" Y/N whispered, her voice cracking with disbelief. It felt like a knife through her heart, adding salt to the wounds that were still raw and bleeding.

The sense of betrayal and hurt overwhelmed her, and she felt a mix of anger, sorrow, and confusion. It was as if the world had collapsed around her, and she found herself questioning everything she once believed in.

At that moment, Y/N couldn't see a path forward. The pain was all-consuming, leaving her feeling lost and broken. She wanted to scream, to demand answers, but the bitter reality was that there were no answers that could mend her wounded heart.

In the distance, the sun began to set, casting a melancholic glow over the apartment. As darkness descended, it mirrored the darkness that had settled within Y/N's soul.

Grief washed over her in waves, as she mourned not only the love that was lost but also the future that could have been. She pictured the life they had planned together – a home filled with love, laughter, and children, growing old hand in hand.

But now, those dreams lay shattered, scattered like fragments of glass on the cold ground. The pain was all-consuming, leaving her feeling adrift and lost in a sea of sorrow.

Y/N felt as if her heart was like an artist's scrapped work discarded in the trash bin. The pain of the shattered love was akin to the pain of watching something she had poured her heart and soul into being tossed aside, unappreciated and unwanted.

The canvas of their love story, once filled with vibrant colors and promising strokes, now lay in ruins, torn apart by deceit and betrayal. She could almost see the paint splattered across the floor, an abstract representation of the chaos that had consumed her emotions.

She had invested so much in this masterpiece, carefully adding each brushstroke with love and hope. But as fate would have it, the canvas had been marred beyond repair, leaving her feeling like an artist who had lost her way.

Her memories served as a painful reminder of what could have been – a love story that was meant to be cherished and admired. Instead, it had been abandoned, a casualty of human flaws and weaknesses.

She felt like a shell of her former self, her spirit bruised and battered. The red strings of fate that she had once believed in now felt like a cruel joke, a reminder that love didn't always lead to happiness.

Fate had played a cruel trick, entangling her heart with the wrong person, and how she was left to untangle herself.

©Minarixx 2023 - please don't copy, repost or translate without my knowledge credit or permission.

#haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu one shot #haikyuu x reader #hq oneshot #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu x self insert #tsukishima x you #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukki #tsukishima kei x you #tsukishima kei x reader #kei tsukishima #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima angst

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nokiatelava · 6 months

Text

✿✿Leaving Me✿✿

Author's Note - Hi guys!! I'm kind of just planning on going along with the plot of ATWOW, obviously adding my own storyline here and there with Awpxey. But! I hope you guys enjoy the story!!

Summary - After finally being able to heal from your injuries, your parents break news to you and your siblings. You're moving away. Far, far away. Across the great ocean to a clan that calls the sea their home. You go to find Awpxey after your parents finalize their decision. Now Awpxey is choosing his own. Stay at the forests of Pandora, or move across the sea with you.

Warnings - i don't think there's anything significant?, trying to talk back, jake's mean for like a second, arguing, crying, cute bf & gf moments, kissing, admiring, swearing, moving, decisions, stress, grandma - granddaughter talk, advice

The last bit of swelling left your face over the last few weeks. Talking was a bit easier now and you could see clearer.

Just a few days ago you were able to go back to your family’s hut.

You don’t know what compelled your mind to make you think you would be staying there for long.

It was a supposedly “normal” day. You were used to the silence that sat around the hut, your family not talking to each other much.

You felt almost estranged, you were feeling so happy and energized now at the fact you were healed. But it was as if everyone got used to how it was while you were injured.

It was always silent.

It made your happy mood deteriorate. And in doing so, it ruined your happy thoughts. So it only left you feeling sad.

Just like everyone else.

But on this “normal” day. Something still felt off. The air felt stiffer then usual, it was something with your parents.

They had been off since the whole situation, but something told you, something else caused this.

It was around lunchtime when your mother called everyone to the table. Thinking nothing of it, you all sat in your usual seats, waiting.

After sitting in silence for sometime your father spoke up.

“We’re moving.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in question.

“What do you mean we’re moving? Like to a different hut or-” He cut you off.

“We are moving.” His voice became harsh. “Far away. We need to get out of here. We’re set to leave tomorrow. And I’m stepping down from Olo’eyktan.”

Your heart dropped, your mouth opening in disbelief.

Moving? Far away? Stepping down? What is going on?

“What?..” Your voice came out in a quiet whisper, tears building but you tried your best to blink them back.

Your mother put her head down, looking at her lap.

“Mama is he being serious?” You looked between your mother and your father. Trying to ignore the tears that left your siblings.

“I’m being serious Y/n. This isn’t some kind of joke.”

You didn’t want to believe him. You didn’t want to.

You shook your head, “we can’t just leave here.” You motion your hand to the hut.

“This is all we know! This is the only place we call home!” Your mother’s hand went up to her eyes.

“I know that Y/n, but there’s nothing we can do-”

“Yes there is! There is, you can’t just give up so quickly!”

“It is not safe here-”

“So fight back!” You stood leaning over the table.

“We can’t!” Your father mirrored your actions.

“We are not equipped enough, there is not enough of us. There’s no, “fighting back” we can do.”

You still shook your head.

“You’re Toruk Makto, gather the other clans! Do everything you did those 17 years ago and fight back!”

“It’s not the same! Do you even understand how many people we lost back then? Because of that War? Thousands of the people died fighting for their land!”

“Exactly! So the loyal Na’vis, and the ones who can participate can join and fight back! We’re not leaving here!”

“We are Y/n! And that’s final!”

You wanted to hit him.

Never in your life had you ever wanted to strike your father.

But you wanted to right now, and wanted to hit him hard. Knock him straight.

But you turned and left. Walking out the hut and ignoring the few calls of your name by your siblings and your father.

You wanted to escape. Wanted to be down in the forest and accept the comfort of The Great Mother and her creations.

But you couldn’t.

Those evil demon bastards are infiltrating your home and destroying the land around it.

They’re taking your home away. And because of that, you had to leave.

You don’t know where you were going, your feet walked you in whatever direction and you let them.

You didn’t feel as if you were living in your body. You felt so disconnected and far away, wishing for the comfort of somebody, the embrace of somebody.

When you found yourself at the entryway of a hut, you finally looked up.

You were at Awpxey’s kelku, and that made you crack a small smile. But it dropped as you remembered what you now have to tell him.

You were met with his back, he was facing the other way as he fiddled with something in his hands.

He was alone in the hut. And he must have felt your presence as he turned his head around.

His eyes lighting up as he saw you.

It all only made your heart hurt more.

He then realized your solemn expression and stood up, walking toward you slowly.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” You let out a sob as you ran into his chest, his warm skin only coaxing you to cry more into his chest.

“What’s wrong yawne? Talk to me, I’m right here, right here with you, okay?”

You couldn’t even stomach the fact you would have to tell him you’re leaving.

Where is that going to leave the two of you? Do you have to break up now as there is no way of communicating?

“A-Awpxey..” You cried, squeezing him closer to you as you hiccuped and sobbed.

“It’s okay Y/n, talk to me when you’re ready. I’ll wait for you.” All you could do was quickly nod into his chest, continuing to cry.

Once you felt that all the tears were somewhat out your system, you took a deep breath.

“I-I have to tell you something Awpxey.” Your chest stuttered as you felt your eyes cloud again, but you only rubbed the feeling away.

“Okay, you can tell me.” He nodded, running his hands through your hair.

“Come sit on the floor with me, right here okay?” You held his hand as you let him guide you to sit on the floor with him.

Your hands shook with a frenzied tremor, wiping your eyes you took another deep breath before looking into Awpxey’s eyes.

“I-I’m moving Awpxey.” You swallow as you try to breathe. “Really, really far away. A-and my dad is stepping down from being Olo’eyktan, and I don’t know what to do.”

You started to cry again, and only tucked your face into the crook of Awpxey’s shoulder.

“I don’t wanna leave.” You sobbed.

Awpxey rubbed your back as he was trying to process the information.

“I’m going with you.”

You froze, silence encompassing the hut, the only thing really being heard were your rough shallow breaths.

“What?” You sat up, looking straight at him.

“You’re doing what?” You blinked at him quizzically.

“I am going to go with you. I do not care if you don’t agree.” You opened your mouth shocked.

“Awpxey, what? N-no you can’t come, I can’t let you do that, no.” He has his family here, his parents, he can’t just leave them.

“Awpxey you can’t just leave, what about your parents? You’re not just gonna leave them are you?”

“I would. Just for you.” You gasped at his words.

“I love you Y/n, I love you so much. I See you. So I’m going to go with you.” He caressed your cheek.

“I want to mate with you one day, I can’t just leave you.” You leaned forward, kissing him as a way to express your love for him.

“But you haven’t even asked them yet Awpxey. What if they say no?”

“Knowing my parents? They’ll definitely say yes, they probably want me to move out anyway.” You stared at him, scared of how nonchalant he sounded.

“And what if they don’t want you to? What if they want you to stay here with them so they know you’re safe?”

Awpxey shook his head. “They are not like that Y/n, trust me.” You knew he was — somewhat — right. Itxä and Puo are two very understanding people. And always wish what is best for their son.

Which in their book, you are.

“They’ll definitely let me go with you. When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow. My dad didn’t say when, but knowing him.. It’s definitely in the morning.” You let out a broken chuckle, trying to revert your mind from the subject at hand.

Awpxey continued to rub your back. You felt his eyes on your face and could see him staring from your peripheral.

“What?” You said with a giggle as you turned towards him.

“Nothing.. Just looking at you.” He smiled as he continued to look.

“Why?” You asked, feeling a bit embarrassed by how lovingly he was looking at you.

“Because I love looking at you.” You felt a heat tread into your cheeks. “You know Y/n, I don’t think you take all the credit you get for your beauty.”

You tilted your head in confusion, “what do you mean?”

“You are just so beautiful. And sometimes I feel like when people tell you that, you don’t believe them.” You chewed your lip, knowing that what Awpxey was saying was true.

“You’re very observant.” You nodded. “Got it from you.”

You smiled, “really?” You asked mockingly.

“Yeah, got it from that people watching you taught me.” You felt a bit shocked.

He actually started doing that because of you?

“You actually started doing it?” He nodded, “why wouldn’t I? It’s actually very fun, entertains if you will.”

You laughed, “you’re becoming a little mini me!” Awpxey joined you in your laughter, “I wouldn’t mind becoming that.” He shrugged with a smile.

For a moment, you both only stared at each other. Looking at each other’s features.

“How do you feel about little admirer, hm?” You smiled at the tease and pushed his nose with your finger.

You could hear his tail smack lightly on the floor behind him.

“When are your parents coming home? So you can ask them? I don’t wanna be here when you do.” He furrowed his eyebrows, “why?” You only shrugged.

“It’ll make me feel weird.” He nodded but brought up another point. “Where are you going to go then? I know you do not want to go home.”

You rolled your eyes. “Too observant.”

He smiled, pulling your cheek. “Learned from the best.”

Over the next few minutes, you spent some more time together.

“I’m going to go home.. I-I have to pack my things.” You felt reluctant, you didn’t want to leave the forest, or Awpxey at the moment either.

As you both stood, Awpxey held your hand. “I know this is hard for you Y/n. But always, always know that I’m going to be here for you.” You nodded, trying to sniffle your tears away.

“I’m going to be there with you forever because I’m going with you.” He whispered teasingly in your ear. You laughed as his breath tickled your ear. “Awpxey!”

“I know, I know. Now go, get ready so we’ll both be packed by morning.” You turned back to look at him. “You’re very confident that they’ll even let you go.” You looked worryingly.

He only smiled, “I know they’ll let me go, now go back little Ms. Sully.” You laughed at the name and waved goodbye, him doing the same.

“Wait, Y/n!” You hear Awpxey call your name from behind you, making you turn around.

“Yes Awpxey? What is it?” He’s approaching you in a small jog.

“Come here.”

Before you could even get a breath out, he had grabbed your face. Smashing his lips onto yours in slow kiss.

It caught you by shock at first, but you slowly relaxed into the kiss and closed your eyes.

When he pulled away, all he had was a smirk on his face as he had seen your purple cheeks.

“You didn’t give me a goodbye kiss.” You embarrassingly cover your face with your hand, trying to hide how hot your face had gotten.

“Awpxey!” You squeal, trying to hold in your laughter.

He grabbed a hold of your wrist, trying to pry your hand from your face.

“Let me see you!” He continued to tease you as he tried looking around your face.

“Awpxey, I have to go!” You giggled.

He let you go, still laughing. “Bye Y/n.” He placed a kiss on your cheek.

For some reason you froze. Your cheeks felt hotter again as you brushed your fingertips against the spot.

You smiled sheepishly, shyly leaning forward and placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Bye Awpxey..”

It was Awpxey’s turn to mirror everything you had just done.

You smiled at him before turning and leaving, the soft smile still stuck on your face.

While you walked home, you couldn’t feel nothing but dread as your hut came into view.

Eywa, how bad you didn’t wanna be here right now.

When you walked in, everyone glanced at you, but you paid no mind to that as the only thing that took your attention was your home.

What used to be your home, at least.

All you saw was the inside of your home, technically completely empty instead of all of the things that were yours that were left in place.

Every movement that was made echoed, and it made your heart slow.

You were actually leaving. Your parents are really making you leave home.

“Come on Y/n.. Pack your stuff.” You heard your father’s gruff voice behind you.

Tears clouded your vision, and you clenched your fists tightly as your breath picked up. The pain in your palms went unnoticed as your fingernails continued to dig into the skin of your palms.

But you decided not to act on your emotions.

So you took a deep breath and started to pick up your things.

Minute after minute, your chest ached more and more as you had to pick up all the memories of your home.

When you were finished, you had a good two bags full to the top full of all your items.

Tops and loincloths, jewelry, and trinkets. The bags held everything.

Everything you’ve ever known, ever loved.

“Where are we going to sleep? Since there’s obviously nothing in here, for us.” You knew you were being sour.

But you had every right to be.

Your life is being taken away from you. How are you specifically supposed to feel?

You felt this feeling of hate, towards your father.

What did he want you to do after telling you, you all had to move away? Prance around and dance?

You had a sneer on your face as you waited for his answer, tapping your foot on the floor, urging him to hurry up.

“We’re going to stay at your grandmother’s hut.” He sighed and you felt a pang of guilt run through you as you seen him pinch the bridge of his nose, squinting his eyes shut as if to think.

“She’s being kind enough to let us stay there.. So let’s say thank you to grandma when we see her okay?” The small childish tone was obviously directed towards Tuk.

She was still too young to barely even comprehend what is happening right now.

She smiled up towards Jake, nodding excitedly.

“I love staying at Grandma’s house!” The words made your stomach hurt.

Does she even know this will be the last time she’s staying over there?

You decided to just step in. “You sure do, don’t you?” Grabbing her hand with a small smile and leading her out the hut. Trying your best to just get the night over with.

The rest of your siblings followed reluctantly, knowing what they have to do once the night is over.

Knowing they will never come back to their home.

It all felt unreal, it was unexpected, and it was too rushed. You felt as if the decision was rushed.

You wondered if your parents even really thought about what they were doing. You would have never thought that, that night in the forest would lead to this.

The last experience you had in your homeland was miserable. You were beaten to a pulp, the last thing you saw was the trees, and the beautiful night sky you loved.

You felt as if you never were actually even able to bask in the beauty of your home. You try to pull your mind of all the memories you have in the forest. But you’re barely pulling any, all you can think about is that night.

If this was planned earlier you felt like you maybe could have done something else. Do something else, be someone else.

You love it here. You want to stay here.

But you can’t.

Because now you’re moving away. Moving away to somewhere cold. You’re moving away to somewhere that you have to become a different person, act a different way, and practice different customs.

You didn’t want to do that. You didn’t want it to come to this.

All the things you could have done. Time was lost. There was too much lost time. You could have been running with the wind through the forest just yesterday, happy to be in the environment your Great Mother had created. Even with the knowledge you’d have to be leaving the very next morning.

Or if you hadn’t even went on that little outing. You could have been sitting in your hut, full of everything that it had before. Making bracelets with Kiri and Tuk.

So much lost time.

Before you even blinked, you were at your grandmother’s hut, walking inside. You don’t even remember walking over here.

This is not how you wanted your last night here to be.

In a blur, you were all setting up your sleeping mats. There was barely any small talk between everybody, small words being exchanged here and there.

You took a deep breath through your nose, trying to implant the smell of all the herbs deep in your lungs.

You loved the smell.

It was so nostalgic, a smell you always loved since you were a child coming to see your grandmother, Mo’at.

You loved her so much. You didn’t want to leave her. Your eyes watered for the umpteenth time that day as you thought about the fact you were leaving family behind.

Mo’at watched you keenly, studying you body movement, it’s language.

She knew you were angry, she can feel it coming from you. She felt it before you even arrived. And she didn’t want her granddaughter to have such hate in her heart.

She planned to talk to you when everyone fell asleep, which she knew would be soon.

A few minutes later, everyone was saying goodnight as the climbed into their mats. For about an hour, all that was heard was the shuffling from all of you tossing and turning.

Slowly, everybody around you fell asleep one by one. You sighed as you sat up, rubbing your eyes trying to produce some sort of feeling of on-coming slumber.

You gasped quietly when you looked up, only to see your grandmother sitting up, staring directly at you.

“Y/n.” She said expectantly, her small smile barely visible from the dark engulfing the room.

“Grandma.” You stated, your words floating in the air as they reached her.

“Hm.” She said, turning her head while her smile grew.

You are telling her everything she needs to know already.

“Come, come over here child.” Mo’at’s hand beckoned you to come closer as she got up and moved from her mat. Heading toward a small private area of her hut.

You stood quietly, stepping over the sleeping bodies of your siblings before silently standing before your grandmother.

She patted the spot next to her, “sit with me?” A small smile flashed on your face as you nodded, taking a seat next to her on the sitting mat padding the ground.

“What’s going on grandma? Why aren’t you sleeping?” She looked towards you, a look on her face.

“Why are you asking me questions I’m going to ask you?” She shrugged as she ignored what you had asked her. She chuckled, “what is going on with you Y/n? Though I already know what.”

Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, you looked at her questioningly.

“What do you mean Grandma?” She laughed silently again.

“Because you make it obvious. Your body, your eyes, your ears, your tail, your heart.” Your grandmother shook her head, “your soul is vulnerable, you are technically putting it on display.”

Not really knowing what to say, you only responded with a feeble, “sorry grandma..” That made her laugh quietly again.

“There’s no need to apologize for something such as that. You are sad right now Y/n, very sad.” Her hands came up to your head, threading her fingers through your hair softly.

You could only nod in agreement, not knowing the fact your feelings were so presentable.

"I know why you are sad Y/n." Mo'at whispered next to your head. A solemn look in her eyes as she continued to brush her fingers through your hair.

You gave a broken chuckle as the tears started to cloud your eyes once again. "What is making me sad grandma?" You asked sarcastically.

This made Mo’at frown, she felt a strong pity for not only you but herself too. She knew that as soon as all of you left, she would be and feel completely miserable.

But she couldn't act on her emotions because all she could do was hold it all together for the sake of the people.

What would the clan do if their Tsahìk was completely low with grief? Mo’at had — no has — a lot to grieve for, but she has no time to grieve.

No time to think.

She’s quick with what she has to do, always by herself — mostly not — with her thoughts.

She tries her hardest to not think about those days.

Those days in which everyone was a bit younger.

Those days when her whole family was still together.

“You’re leaving..” Mo’at whispered as her nimble fingers continued to brush your hair.

“And I know you’re very sad to leave. Leave here, your home.” She pursed her lips as she tried to fight her tears.

“Grandma.” You whispered out in a breath of realization. “I’m sorry grandma I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

You sat up straighter, placing your hand on her back before she chuckled. She pulled your hand off by your wrist.

She held your hand, pressing a kiss to your knuckle as the tears fell from her eyes.

Yours following soon after.

“I remember when you had just made it into this world..” She smiled at the memory as she rubbed your knuckles.

“Your cries were piercing, very loud. But you never cried much.” She squeezed your fingers.

“You are still very quiet now Y/n. But promise me, when you leave here and you join this new clan. Promise me, you will use that same exact piercing voice when someone does you wrong.” She looked deep into your eyes to show the sincerity of her ask for promise.

You nodded, “I promise grandma. I promise I will, if they either do it to me or anyone else.” She smiled.

“Remember that boy you yelled at all those years ago? During your craft class?” You laughed quietly at the memory.

“Son’tuk?” You giggled as you thought of the boy.

“Mhm, that was the very first time you had used that strong voice of yours for defending yourself. You always stayed quiet to yourself. You still do now obviously.” She rolled her eyes.

“But before when you were younger it was.. Worse.” You grimaced as all the memories of your younger self came back.

“Everybody was so shocked. You had become so loud, I didn’t even expect it.” She laughed.

“What did you tell at him for again?” You curled your lip to a sneer.

“He was talking about me, Kiri, and Lo’ak. Specifically our hands. He was shit-talking right in front of me, to me! And I told him to stop multiple times and he didn’t.” You shrugged.

“Well, that day made history!” You both giggled.

For hours after that, you and your grandmother spoke about anything and everything.

After a bit, your eyes became heavy, that familiar pressure behind your eyes. You tried your hardest to fight it, because you knew this would be your last night here.

Your last night to enjoy these moments with your grandma.

You wanted to savor every single second, but the stress from the day and the continuous conversations started to make you feel exhausted.

“G-grandma..” You whispered before falling asleep against her, she laughed quietly. Looking down to your face and examining your soft but fierce features.

“Oh how I’ll miss you. I’ll miss you so much.” Mo’at whispered as her eyes watered. Her breath was shaky as she combed your hair with her fingers.

Leaning down she pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“I’ll love you no matter where you go Y/n. You are forever my first grandchild.” Tears platted down onto her thighs, and she slowly wiped her eyes so they wouldn’t worsen.

Minutes later, Mo’at began to drift off and fell asleep also.

Hi!! So I’m going to continue this on in another story obviously!! But I wanted to start working in the other one right when this one finished so I can post them both like on the same day? Probably might not be smart, but regardless!! I didn’t want to do the whole nine yards of the Sully’s meeting the Metkayina, it would end up being wayyy to long. But I hope you all enjoyed the story!! Sorry if there are any spelling errors! Thank you so much for reading 🤍!

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