I think when people think of mental illness and what helps, especially with things like anxiety and depression, the treatment involves pushing yourself. Pushing yourself to get out of bed, to exercise, to take a shower, to go out in public, to order your own food from the cashier, etc.
And because the mental health movement has grown so much, people think that's the default of ALL illnesses. That the only way someone will get better is if they push themselves. That practice makes perfect. That you'll become more comfortable or strong over time the more you do something.
But what people need to realize is, with physical disabilities and chronic illnesses, pushing yourself in most cases is DETRIMENTAL. Pushing yourself past your limits can lead to flare ups or further injury. That's why it's important to know your limits, how certain activities may affect your condition, and learn how to either adapt or get help to complete the activity in question.
Also, most of us are already pushing ourselves. Most of us don't have access to the help or equipment we need. Most of us live in places where we frequently encounter inaccessible obstacles. Most of us NEED to rest.
So please don't try to be our physical therapists or doctors. There are people specifically trained to help us navigate our own conditions and limitations. There are people trained to help us strengthen our body's resilience without causing flare-ups or injury. Do not tell us "it'll be good for you" or "you need the exercise" when we say something is too heavy or too far or when we say we need our mobility aid(s). Your friend with depression may need to be encouraged to get out of bed, but your friend with chronic illness definitely doesn't.
Respect our rest.
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Could you write a drabble for Mikoto and Shidou plus Blood? This request miiight be inspired by the fact that Mikoto mentions his body hurting a lot but doesn't seem to be receiving any medical treatment, either because Mahiru and Fuuta take priority or because there's no obvious cause, and therefore cure, to his pain...
👀👀👀 Thank you, this is such a good combo ough!! It's so interesting how much focus the others get when it comes to physical health, since Mikoto has clearly complained of his condition :( It looks like Milgram is trying to push the idea that he's completely oblivious to his alters, but I spun it where he's aware, just deep in denial. So have some Mikoto angst to get us hyped for Double!
Mikoto should be grateful. He was lucky. That’s what he kept repeating to himself. He had both of his eyes intact. Both his arms. He was strong enough to walk around freely. He wasn’t on the verge of death, or collapse. Thus, he should be grateful no one was offering him any help, because it meant he didn’t need it. He repeated it again. Maybe this time he would believe it.
With a groan, his body rolled out of bed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d woken up actually feeling rested. Everything ached. His muscles tightened with soreness. His throat felt as raw as his knuckles, though he hadn’t been using either. He had no desire to lift his arms over his head, or twist around too much, so he didn’t change out of yesterday’s uniform. Maybe the belts and buckles had made it difficult to sleep. The theory wasn’t a convincing one, but dwelling on things like that had never gotten him anywhere.
He ran his fingers once through his hair, combing out a bit of the mess. Looking in a mirror was the last thing he needed. He made his way to the dining hall.
The others trickled in for breakfast. His appetite, at least, hadn’t suffered. He hardly noticed the others giving him wide-eyed stares. What were they expecting? Of course he was looking worse for wear, given the circumstances. He ignored them, glad to focus on the hot meal before him.
A hand weighed heavy on his shoulder.
“Mikoto,” Shidou’s voice may have remained calm, but it was urgent. “Do you need some help?”
“Huh?” He shrugged his hand away, offering a weak smile. “I’m fine! Oh, I think Kazui was saving a seat for you over there, if you --”
“-- How about we go to my cell for a moment? Or yours, if that would be more comfortable.”
What was everyone’s problem this morning? Mikoto did his best to keep his voice pleasant. “Really, man, I’m good.”
Shidou’s expression remained unmoving. Very carefully, he informed him, “you’re bleeding. Pretty badly by the look of it. You’re coming with me.”
Mikoto blinked. He looked over his shoulder, following Shidou’s gaze. The back of his uniform was torn across the center. A significant splotch of blood seeped into the material, growing even larger as he shifted to see it.
“...Oh…”
Back in Shidou’s cell, sad to have left his breakfast plate behind, he slumped into a chair. Shidou gathered together some supplies. As always, he got right to the point. “What happened?”
“I… I’m not sure. I don’t remember anything from last night. I don’t remember most nights, recently. I know that sounds crazy, but…”
“It’s fine. I have definitely heard crazier.” He smiled, something gentle and reassuring. As usual, there was something hidden behind his eyes. It was as if he already knew what Mikoto was up to late at night that earned him so much soreness the following days. He didn’t offer an explanation, though. Mikoto didn’t press him for one.
He winced as he was helped out of his uniform. Removing his shirt revealed the mysterious gash. Shidou’s eyes widened at the array of scratches and scars. Some were fresh, but most originated long before Milgram. Though he didn’t ask, Mikoto answered.
“I’m pretty clumsy, huh?” Maybe this time he would believe it.
Shidou was kind enough to pretend to. “Here, allow me…”
Shidou got to work cleaning and dressing the injuries. Mikoto closed his eyes. Even though the disinfectant stung, and sometimes those gloved fingers pressed a little two hard, it felt nice to have things patched up.
“Is there anything else going on? Are you feeling pain anywhere else?”
Mikoto could have laughed. He didn’t. “I’m just sore. And my head’s been killing me, but I’m used to migraines. Perks of the verdict, I’m sure.”
Shidou hummed in thought.
“Thanks, by the way. I’ll try to be more careful.” Not that he had much choice in the matter, it seemed. But he’d do his best.
Shidou kept his face straight, but there were traces of pain in his voice. “I will too. I’m sorry, Mikoto. If I had known… I’ve been distracted lately, but I should have paid closer attention.”
“It’s fine,” he flashed a grin. “I know the others are pretty fucked up. And I’m not dying or anything. I’m lucky, you know?”
“I wouldn’t say so. Doctors don’t only treat the dying.”
Mikoto frowned.
It didn’t take much longer to finish treatment. Shidou gave him a few instructions about the bandages, then offered him a clean shirt. “You’re good to go. I’ll be checking in more often, now. I’ll see if I can find something for your head.”
“Thanks. Really.”
He returned Mikoto’s torn uniform. “You should talk to Es about getting a new one. Until then, you’ll want to clean this with --”
Mikoto waved a dismissive hand, heading out of the cell. “Don’t worry, I know how to wash blood out of my clothes. Er, that sounds bad. I’m just a clutz, yeah? The blood’s always been my own.”
Maybe this time he would believe it.
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Oh y'all, no, I've said it before and I will say it again, I'm not here to excuse or be less critical of medical professionals in general. I'm not here to be nice to the profession as a whole, or not talk shit about it. I don't have to be nice or rein in my anger.
In person, I can hold all that in me AND be deeply respectful even when I disagree, and treat all new staff with kindness and politeness. Not only do I genuinely respect the knowledge that they possess that will help me become well, they truly haven't done anything wrong yet. They're people. And when they do something awful, being shitty in the moment isn't something you can fix a problem with or use to hold someone responsible right then. It usually makes things much, much worse. I've lost my temper three times ever with medical professionals and their staff, and those were instances where I was being abused and neglected, being maliciously lied to in a way that jeopardized my life, or when I was threatened with violence with no provocation. Read that again.
So I'm here for respecting medical professionals and clinic staff. I'm not here to be chill about the profession, the harm it does me, or the harm it does to others. I don't have to like them. Actually, as a whole, I hate and mistrust them. And that is founded in experience. Mine and others'.
I'm working on it, some, in therapy. On the very worst of the rage. But it's slow. And I'm doing it for myself, to make things easier for myself, not because I am at all concerned about being nice to a group that has caused me a truly breathtaking amount of pain. I don't have to forgive, or trust. I do have to be respectful and fair to the extent that they do the same. But the profession has repeatedly proven it has no right to forgiveness or trust, and never will.
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Even more additions to the previous posts (Part 1, Part 2) because @lost-on-kamino is as equally evil as I am and I love them for it.
Whatever is causing the changes acts like a virus in how it spreads, but behaves far too precisely and intelligently to be a mere disease. It's not only very targeted but also seems to have a set of specific rules (not easy to figure out ones, but there are noticeable pattern in how it decides what to change the clones into). An example of this is that nearly all of the 104th troopers turn into Kel Dor, but one clone stands out... That being Wolffe who becomes a Dathomirian because his negative experience with Ventress largely outweighs the positive impact Plo Koon has had on his life. This means that the clones either become a species that has helped them in a very influential way, or that has helped traumatize them horrendously (which makes Dogma turning into a Besalisk and Tango Squad becoming Geonosians make much more sense in hindsight).
Fox's reason for becoming an Amaran becomes a bit of a mystery, since he doesn't even recall how his escort job with the Amaran Representative of Naboo went. He was swamped with work at the time and the interaction slipped his mind completely. In contrast, Thire's interactions with Mas Amedda are largely negative, Senator Chuchi has always been polite in Thorn's opinion, Jek's past interaction with Yoda was largely positive, Hound's encounter with a Shistavanen was relatively positive in his opinion (it was a nice stall vendor who offered him and Grizzer some food), and Stone REALLY doesn't want to talk about dealing with Representative Binks thank you very much...
There has to be a goal to why the clones are being changed. That much the Jedi figure out, since all of this seems very purposeful. Especially in the way the changes are triggered and the species selected. Trauma and Healing/Growth are very specific conditions. Is the culprit behind all this perhaps trying to tell them something? And if so, then what exactly and why?
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