#Peter catches fish

[trahald-the-burrower]

Sméagol living the dream

I love how happy he is at the forbidden pool before all goes sour. He's adorable. And there's something funny about the fact that he's singing his heart away, completely oblivious, while his life is at stake. How Faramir could even consider having his men shoot this poor, adorable, singing and dancing little guy is beyond me.

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Very emotional about the breakfast story in the Gospel of John. Simon, James and John, Thomas, Nathanael, and a few others are out together. Simon says he's going fishing, and the others say they're coming along. They spend all night trying to get a good haul, and they catch nothing. Dawn is breaking, and they see a man on the shore a long way off, but they can't tell who he is. He shouts to them, "You don't have any fish, do you?" They have to shout back a disgruntled, "No." The man replies, "Put the net on the other side and you'll catch some fish!" Maybe they roll their eyes a bit--they're the ones out on the water, and they have been all night, what would he know?--and the fish start flooding into the net.

And John looks at Simon and remembers: this has happened before. Three years ago, before everything changed--that voice had shouted to them the same instruction.

"Simon!!" he says, "It's the Lord!"

And it hits Simon like a thunderbolt. He frantically throws on his coat (he'd stripped for work) and plunges into the water. He'd walked on the water before to meet Jesus, what was swimming a hundred yards? So eager to reach Him he can't wait the few minutes for the boat to come in--and when it gets there, he has to go and help unload the fish anyway. But even those few moments with Jesus are worth the soaking wet robes and the exhaustion. And anyway, He already has a fire going--with some fish of His own. "Come and have breakfast!" He says.

And then they sit and eat together, just like they had done so many times over the past three years, and He's there with them, perhaps gently laughing at Simon, still dripping from his swim, and it's like He never left.

He never truly did.

[workingmanwayne]

💭

He’s a good boy.

He seems lonely, I should invite him over for dinner or a game of cards or somethin.

If he ever asks me to help hide him from the cops I’d do it in a heartbeat.

[dontinterupt]

the way people make a bad impression for me constantly LMAOOOO like by this point just please dont talk about me its a disaster

[wolfythewitch]

Do with this information what you will.

Yeah! And if I remember correctly, rabbis took on disciples younger than them. Also this was the verse they were talking about I think

24 After Jesus and his disciples arrived in Capernaum, the collectors of the two-drachma temple tax came to Peter and asked, “Doesn’t your teacher pay the temple tax?” 25 “Yes, he does,” he replied. When Peter came into the house, Jesus was the first to speak. “What do you think, Simon?” he asked. “From whom do the kings of the earth collect duty and taxes—from their own children or from others?” 26 “From others,” Peter answered. “Then the children are exempt,” Jesus said to him. 27 “But so that we may not cause offense, go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours.”

Though, Jesus pays for both his and Peter's, which makes me think Peter is the oldest among the disciples (and also man's got a wife so at least probably older than 18). But yeah most of the disciples are probably in their late teens and at most early to mid twenties.

Ah geez do I have to change my Judas design I liked the beard

[luveline]

would you be in the mood to write something for peter parker x reader?? it’s been a while since i’ve read anything new for him and i’m missing my boy :( maybe something about things getting heated while making out with peter but he knows reader isn’t ready to go any farther so he has to stop them, and then maybe reader feels guilty for not being ready bc they feel like they’re stringing him along? a good mix of (semi)smut & fluff & angst haha. thank u angel i love u <3

ty for requesting, love u <3 fem!reader, 1k

cw suggestive content

“Is that okay?” he whispers. 

You’re nearly too busy trying to kiss him to whisper back. “Yeah, Peter, just–” Fully too busy. 

Peter enjoys being on top of you for two reasons; the first, the most imperative in the moment, is because it flicks a switch in your mind that has you all flustered and breathless under his touch, your chest heaving something sorry and your hands a frenetic back-and-forth between roaming and limp on his back; and the second, his guilty pleasure, is that he’s in an optimal position to slide his knee between your thighs and listen for your breathless sigh. 

He says your name between kisses to catch your attention, finds he can’t quite get it as your mouth closes up on his and your spit wets his lips. Your hand wanders under his shirt. 

Peter has been worse than shirtless around you, a consequence of his strange after-classes hobby, but he’s not so sure you’re ready to peel him out of it. Your fingers ride up his spine. 

He fishes your hand from behind him to hold it above your head. 

“Hey,” he says, pulling back, your eyes lit and aligned with one another, the brightest light in the room. It feels wrong to speak into the dark like this, disrupting your whispers and your quick breathing. “You don’t wanna do that.” 

“I do,” you say. He’s no genius, but he sees the wobble of your lashes for what it is, sudden regret. 

“It’s okay, bub. We got too heavy too fast,” he laughs. 

You bite the inside of your lip as he sits up. It’s his fault, he shouldn’t have kissed you like that, definitely shouldn’t have let his leg slide up against you, what was he thinking? He’s kissed you so hard your lips are swollen. 

You use the flats of your palms to clamber up against the headboard. Your heart is a thudding he can’t ignore, triply loud, and his own pulse is rocketing too. 

“I’m sorry,” you say. 

“No, that’s okay,” —he reaches for the hem of your sweatpants to tug them back over your hip and stomach— “I was bearing down on you, I shouldn’t have– I–” Peter Parker levels of stuttering occur, to which he can’t subject himself, hiding his face in his hands. 

There’s a small silence. Peter attempts to calm down. Your heart rate slowly drops. 

“I really am sorry, Pete.” 

His neck cricks as he lifts his head. “What?” He lets his legs fall to the side of the bed and shuffles up to the top to see you clearly, squishing the back of your thigh where your legs are up to his hip. “Come on, what do you have to be sorry for?” 

“I’m leading you on and stuff. Not cool.” 

“What? What are you talking about? I started it.” 

“I was giving it just as good as I was getting it,” you say with a regretful smile. “You’re just such a great kisser–”

“Don’t try and distract me, it’s working,” he teases. More seriously, he puts his hand on your knee, thumb pressing to the soft crease underneath it. 

“I shouldn’t kiss you like that if I’m not ready for it.” 

“Why not? You can kiss me whatever way you like, it doesn’t have to lead to anything.” 

“I’m winding you up. Boys don’t like that.” 

“I love it,” he says, dropping his chin to his hand to speak to you from just below your eye line. “I love everything you do, I love kissing you, it doesn’t mean you have to be ready for something else.” 

You don’t accept his reassurances as quickly as he’d like, leaning back, the rising valley of your chest and tummy two pretty not to look at even as something serious transpires. He adores you, your every hill and curve and rigid line, all of it, and he’d love to fuck you but there’s no rush. What do you need to rush for? Peter’s sure it’ll be just as much fun a few months down the line as it would’ve been tonight, but it’ll be perfect then, because you’ll be ready then. 

“Who cares what boys like anyways?” he mumbles, kissing your kneecap appreciatively. 

“I just don’t wanna mess it up, Pete. I really like you.” 

“You can’t mess it up, it’s not like that, we’re not like that. You mean a whole lot more to me than that,” he says, giving your thigh a squeeze. You meet his eyes with less shyness now, the beginnings of a smile like twitches at the corners of your mouth. “I like you more than you like me, anyways. You can string me along. String me up, if you want.” 

“String you up where?” you ask with a laugh. 

“From that statue on ESU?” 

“What? How would I do that?” 

“Get Spider-Man to help you.” 

You pull the leg he isn’t leaning on up toward your stomach, knee rubbing along the inside of your opposite thigh, the last trace of regret. “You’re sure you don’t care?” 

“Don’t care, don’t mind, just want you to be happy.” He kisses your knee. “I thought you’d know that by now.” 

You brace your face in both hands, letting out a long sigh. “I don’t know what I know when you do that thing to me. How about you keep your legs away from my legs for a little while?” 

Peter smiles like an idiot, hiding his eyes in your knee and his mouth behind your calf. He doesn’t mind being honest, but you’re making him nervous flirting like that and he isn’t allowed to kiss you again tonight. “I– I can do that. No leg stuff.” He leans away from you suddenly. “God, no leg stuff. You’re beautiful, I wish you didn’t worry about me.” 

“I’ll try not to, Pete.”  

[rainydayathogwarts]

hello! can i request a smut with remus lupin x extrovert!reader? reader is very bubbly, extroverted, and popular and she's good friends with the other marauders. remus and her have been dating for a while and one time reader catches remus shirtless when she goes to visit him in his dorm and she starts having thots . . . she's actually been having thots for a while and they do it together (her first time? but not remus')

anyways, i understand if you can't get to this. have a good day and thanks from your fellow pan content creator <333

I've been DYING to write some Remus content and this is the perfect opportunity, so thank you anon :) I hope this covers everything you wanted in your request!

warnings: smut, mix of soft and rough Remus, oral (f!receiving),

wc: 2.5k

You're in the common room with Lily, occupying an armchair, your legs thrown over its edge while Lily takes up an entire couch, laying flat on her back. It was oddly silent in the common room, but you figured that it was due to the lack of marauders in the room. You let out a deep exhale and Lily giggles, turning onto her stomach before bringing up the topic of relationships.

You were both lucky enough to be in a long term relationship with the boys you'd been crushing on since the beginning of your time at Hogwarts. "So you and Remus... It's been almost a year." You blush, hands coming up to cover your face in embarrassment as you groan. "You guys still haven't done it... You'd tell me if you did right." You fish for one of the pillows under you to toss at Lily who shrieks, and sits up.

She shuffles closer to you, hugging the pillow to her chest and leaning towards you, her eyebrows raised suggestively. "Lily I want him so bad" You groan and the both of you break down laughing. "And what, he hasn't made a move?" You go impossibly more red, and hide your face in your hands once more, whining "No. He knows I'm a-" You cut yourself off, looking around, before continuing in a whisper, as though it was taboo. "A virgin. So he's waiting for me to make the move" Lily nods in understanding, a wide grin making its way onto her features.

She starts giggling again, and you jokingly shove her shoulder just as the portrait swings open, and the common room is welcomed with the booming laughter of your boyfriends and their two other companions. You both straighten up, trying to wipe the stupid smiles off your faces, and failing.

When Remus, James, Sirius and Peter approach you, you're still smiling, cheeks red from laughter, and trying to avoid eye contact with each other. "What's with you two?" Sirius asks as Remus dips his head down to kiss you, in synch with James' movements towards Lily. You try making space for Remus to sit beside you, but instead he just picks you up, taking your place and places you on his laps. Lily makes solid eye contact with you and clearly holds back a suggestive comment, cuddling into James' side, a hand rubbing her eyes, as if it would hide her smile.

James looks down at his girlfriend, eyebrows furrowed, and leans closer to whisper something to her. You shut your eyes, knowing exactly what she replies to him in a hushed tone, the rest of the marauders starting to get suspicious of her behaviour. James grins, and looks straight up at you. You shake your head in disappointment at your closest friend, but every thought flies out of the window when you feel Remus' fingers dip under your shirt to caress the soft skin of your waist. The movement is completely innocent and there are no other intentions behind it, but it gets you thinking about him again.

The fact that he hadn't changed his behaviour with you when he found out you were a virgin had taken you by surprise and somehow made Remus even more attractive in your eyes. His tendencies to pin you up against the door of his dorm and press his body impossibly close to yours as you made out hungrily only made you want him more, but he was just too respectful. You knew fully well how needy and horny he got before every full moon but he was just too respectful of your boundaries to do anything about it. You both loved and hated him for that same reason.

"You okay sweetheart?" Remus asks and you jump slightly at the feeling of his hot breath on your neck. You turn your head to face him and nod, smiling. He holds your gaze, the hand on your waist moving down to rest on your thigh, but your moment is broken by James, who jumps up, announcing "Well I'm off to get dressed for practice." Sirius nods, murmuring something incoherent and following James up. Peter gets up, leaving the common room to meet his girlfriend, and Remus sighs, saying something about changing out of his uniform. You nod, watching as your friends go up to their dorm, only to look back and meet Lily's gaze.

You avoid her relentless stare, bowing your head down to focus on your fiddling hands. It's only when James and Sirius come down from the stairwell leading up to their dorms that you look up again, and shooting one last quick look at Lily, who follows her boyfriend out of the common room, you get up. You knock twice on the boys' dorm room, waiting for Remus to call out "Come in!" And as soon as you do, your jaw drops.

You stare blatantly at your shirtless boyfriend who takes his time finding a jumper. At your silence, he turns to you, a silent chuckle leaving his lips. He proudly walks over to you and you have to will yourself to look up at his face instead of his shirtless figure. He raises a single eyebrow at you and you flush brightly, hands immediately going to his chest when he pushes you backwards against the closed door, hungrily kissing you, his tongue dipping into your mouth to claim control of the kiss. You moan, wrapping your arms around Remus' shoulders to deepen the kiss as his come down to tightly grip your ass. He breaks the kiss to start nibbling at the skin of your neck, and the little bits of your chest exposed by your shirt and he grinds into you, causing the both of you to moan.

He digs his head further into the crook of your neck, deeply inhaling your scent. His hands continue to roam your body and he groans, pressing his hips flush against yours for you to feel how hard he is. "Tell me when you want me to stop." He sighs, continuing to grind his hips against yours. You shook your head, causing him to look up and cried "No! Don't stop. Please don't stop."

At your comment, Remus completely separates himself from you, pulling a desperate whine from you. "What?" His palms are now flat against the door by your head and he looks at you straight in the eyes, as though looking for an answer in them. "Don't- I don't want you to stop." You breath out, a hand coming up to rub the back of your neck. "Y/n what are you- are you telling me what I think you're telling me?" He double checks, blinking a couple of times, and you nod.

"Please Remus, I want you to fuck me." And for the first time in your relationship, Remus' whole face goes red, and he licks his bottom lip before pulling you towards him by your wrist. You squeal, your arms wrapping around him when his own wrap around your waist, so he can pick you up and throw you onto his bed. He goes back to roughly kissing you, softly grunting as he rolls his hips into yours. Finally, he unzips his pants, looking at you with a silent question, and you grin, pulling your shirt over your head and throwing it somewhere. Remus blankly stares at your chest, his hands still on his trousers, and he shakes himself out of it, shimmying out of them before pouncing on you once more.

Remus gives attention to every inch of exposed skin on your body, pressing tiny kisses on your body and leaving a cold trail of saliva on you. His hands reach behind your back, and he fiddles with the clasp of your bra. You arch your back to make it easier for him, and when he finally undoes it, his hands go straight to cupping your tits and playing with them. He tugs at your nipples with you writhing under him, and puts one of them in his mouth, instantly beginning to suckle at it.

One of your hand trails down his back, digging your nails into his soft skin while the second grips his hair tightly. Remus groans when you tug at it, but continues his job of marking you as his. His hands start to wander again, this time finding themselves going lower and lower, until they trail under your skirt, fiddling with the hem of your underwear. His fingers hook themselves to the sides of your underwear and he slowly drags the fabric down your legs. His face dips under your skirt, and just as you move to prop yourself up on your elbows to see what happens, his biceps curl under your legs, pulling you towards him, and he buries his face in your cunt.

You cry out, Remus' tongue teasing your entrance as his nose bumps at your clit. You let your head fall back in pleasure, legs automatically trying to close shut when Remus switches to sucking and licking your clit, while his fingers start to dip inside you. His unoccupied hand is firmly pressed across your lower abdomen to keep your hips from bucking into his face. Slowly, he inserts one of his fingers inside your hole and you whimper, but Remus' hand on your stomach softly caresses your skin while he ensures your pleasure with his mouth. Another finger makes ints way inside you, and Remus begins to scissor them open inside you, stretching you out as you buck up into him.

Remus separates from your pussy to look up at you, and mutters a soft "You doing okay?" You nod, your eyes shut and you try adjusting yourself to his fingers. "No darling, I'm going to need a verbal response." You gasp the instant the discomfort from his fingers turn into pleasure and moan "Oh- I'm, I'm good." And Remus can't help but grin boyishly as the sight of you moaning on his fingers. He leans over, smashing his lips against yours, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue while he rotates his wrist in a way that keeps you desperate for him.

Finally, Remus completely pulls away from you, licking his fingers clean, while maintaining eye contact with you, and your eyes widen in shock. Remus sighs, running his eyes over your body and you self-consciously shut your legs, straightening up a little. He frowns, shaking his head. "No, come on, none of that." He places a hand on your knee, and your legs loosen up for him again. He smiles softly, both hands going back up to the waistband of his boxers. You gasp when his cock bounces up, slapping his stomach, and you're immediately thinking about how all of that's going to be inside of you.

Remus shuffles towards you and takes your last garment - your skirt - off. He starts rubbing your thighs with his big, veiny hands, and starts to reassure you. "Darling it'll be fine. It's going to be uncomfortable at the start, but I'm going to go easy on you, and if you want to stop, just say so." He looks at you, as though expecting a response, but you only shake your head at him. "Hey, remember what I said about needing words?" You nod quickly, then shake your head "Yeah I- sorry. No, it's okay."

Remus nods, lowering himself onto you and giving you a soft kiss on the lips. He's gentler now than he was before, slowly kissing you as he teases your entrance with the head of his cock. He only just realises how uncomfortably hard he's been this entire time and he groans, holding himself back from just sinking his whole cock into you. He pushes into you inch by inch, rocking back and forth to help you adjust to his size, while his hand tightly fists the rest of his dick. Your whimpers are swallowed by the kiss you share, and so are Remus' moans that come out every time you tug harshly on his hair, making him impossibly harder.

When he's completely inside you, he gives you a moment to get comfortable, and he bites his lip, his forehead falling against yours as his eyes tightly shut. It's his turn to whimper, the feeling of your tight pussy clamping on him practically begging him to start pounding into you. But he controls his urges, waiting for you to quietly give him the go ahead from under him. He exhales deeply and moans loudly when he starts to slowly roll his hips into yours, dragging his cock along your tight walls.

You let out a high pitched moan that has Remus drowning in pleasure, and his hand returns to your pussy, rubbing quick circles on your clit. "Shit." He whispers, when you beg him "Faster, please." And he does. He goes slightly faster, but it's enough to have you both nearing the edge. Remus connects your lips again, groaning into the kiss when your nails drag down his back, and the arm holding him up above you starts to shake. He focuses on your clit more, only slightly increasing his speed so you're both pushed over the edge at the same time.

"I'm so close. God sweetheart I can feel you squeezing me, are you gonna cum?" Whining at his words only encourages him to continue talking to you. "Be a good girl for me and cum on my cock. You're fucking making me crazy over here." And his words seem to have a positive effect on you by the way your leg twitches and your grip around him tightens. Remus holds back until your back is arching and you're screaming his name repeatedly for him to release inside you, his hips wildly rutting into you. He whimpers, leaning down to capture a nipple in his mouth and sucks hard.

He prolongs your orgasm by continuing to buck into you and rubbing your sensitive clit, until you're pushing him away from you. Remus pulls out, his hand coming up to fist his dick, cum dribbling down onto your stomach. You moan at the sight as you catch your breath, staring at your boyfriend, his eyes shut in pleasure and his untameable hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. When he rides out his orgasm, he collapses next to you on his stomach, catching his breath.

You giggle, turning around so you're laying on your stomach, and a hand comes up to rub Remus' back. "I think it's supposed to be the other way around" Remus chuckles, turning on his side and pulling you closer to him by the waist. You grin, returning the kiss he gives you, and humming in satisfaction. "How was that?" He asks quietly, suddenly shy as insecurity makes its way onto his face. "It was amazing." You reply, bringing him into another kiss, which he breaks too early. "How about you let me go run a bath for you?" He asks, without giving you time to answer before getting up from beside you.

Your eyes widen as you watch him walk away, angry red scratch marks on his back staring right back at you. Despite that, you let yourself fall back on his bed, a wide grin making its way on your face when you think back about what had just happened.

God, Lily is going to scream when you tell her.

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

Hi! I just found out about your blog (aka the best decision ever) and I literally fell in love. So my ask is (whenever you're taking requests btw) a peter parker x reader where the reader's doing the simplest of things and peters just, heart eyes. Thanks a bunch sweets <3333 xoxo

a/n: this is super short, but exactly what i needed to write on a terrible horrible stressful day

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

masterlist | join my taglist

“Alright, spidey-boy,” curled up in the crook of the sofa, you opened up the food delivery app on your phone, “what do you want for lunch? What do you want?” you repeated with rhythmic goofiness. Eyes ever glued to the screen before your nose and not the man lounging at the other end of the couch, you rocked gently as you scrolled through the options, “what do you want, my baby Peter? Oh!” your eyes then went wide in a slightly childlike manner at the idea your wordplay had suddenly conjured, “Peter, pita! What about that, huh? A little falafel action?” you finally glanced up to catch his eye, fishing for an answer, but not finding the one you sought. Like warm afternoon sun streaming through the windows, a soft and adoring smile crinkled up Peter’s eyes as he simply stared at you, “what?”

“Nothing,” his head shook gently from side to side as his loving gaze continued to pierce your soul, “falafel sounds great.”

© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[villain-crown]

cheat | @jegulus-microfic | words: 520

critical care, part 1 | (part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6)

a Jegulus nurse!AU

“Potter, I’ve got shit news for you.”

James snorted, finishing the last few letters of a name on the large dry erase board that announced the day shift nurses’ assignments on the medical-surgical intensive care unit. Their ward’s nickname, coined by its wealthy donor, was written at the top in half-erased red letters: Go Gryffindor! “No thanks, Marlene, I’ve got enough shit news already.”

“Peter’s cheating on us. He’s been floated to take patients in the recovery room. They took on three extra cases this morning.”

Jerking his head around, he stared at her.

No.

Peter could not do this to him. James had twenty-two sick as shit patients tripping over themselves to dive into body bags and just enough nurses to stop them from doing so. The acuity of their unit was through the roof. He would not be tested today.

“Pete wouldn't do that.” James shoved his hand into his scrubs to fish his phone out. On the home screen was the preview of an apologetic text from ✨🐀Wormtail🐀✨, reporting his marching orders to the post-anesthesia care unit. “Wow. I thought he loved me. What am I supposed to do? We’re about to start the bloody shift!”

“Well don’t worry boss, because I have slightly less shit news. They’ve sent us a nurse to replace him.” She paused. “From Slytherin.”

“I thought you said less shit news,” James grumbled, using the side of his hand to rub Peter’s name from the board. Slytherin, with its name derived from the benefactor who had funded its building, was the cardiovascular intensive care unit two floors below them. Their nurses were notoriously nightmares to get along with. “The last time they floated someone from there to here it was Snape, remember?”

“Oh yeah!” Marlene snapped her fingers. “Didn’t Sirius almost trick him into drinking nitroglycerin? It’s a good thing you stopped him. He could have actually died.”

“Yeah. Anyway, who are they sending us?”

Marlene consulted her phone. “It’s going to be… Oh! Regulus Black!”

“Black?” James repeated distractedly, writing it down.

“It’s Sirius’s little brother. Have you met him?”

“No.” James capped his marker and stepped back. “Have you?”

“Once.” She paused, then qualified that. “Sort of. I got to watch Sirius threaten one of the doctors for flirting with him. Does that count?”

That got his attention. “What? Why? Sirius has slept with half the staff in this hospital!”

“Yeah, but he’d put Regulus in a monastery if he could. No dating allowed for Baby Black.” Marlene handed over the charge nurse phone. “It’s too bad. Dorcas says Regulus is… sweet.”

James smirked. “Dorcas says, huh? I guess Pete’s not the only one cheating on us Gryffindors by consorting with the enemy units.”

“Fuck off, Potter. And I’ll give you a bit of free advice. When Regulus comes up here, you’d best try very hard not to stare. Sirius hates when people do that.”

James’s expression turned serious. “I won’t. Is there something physically… did something happen to him?”

Oddly, Marlene just smirked. “No, nothing like that. But if you know what’s good for you, don’t let Sirius catch you looking.”

[iactuallydontlikestrawberries]

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN.

BlackCat!Reader x Miles Morales Summary; Miles is defintely gonna catch you this time, right? A/N; I loved Felicia and Peter so much, even more so in PS4 game. They have a little saying to??? "Quiet as cat, sneaky as spider" and I just watched spider-verse SOOO,.,,,,SDKNASDJHAUIO i love me some Criminal x Hero heheheheh ill probably make a part 2 of this soon maybe.... Not proofread.

“Catch me if you can, Spidey!” 

And the rivalry began, you always got away, always leaving with a devious smirk on your face as you left with Diamonds in hand and Miles wondering who was behind the domino mask you always wear. But tonight was different, he’s definitely gonna catch you this time — he’s maybe gonna catch you this time. 

He was invisible, sticking to the roof of the museum waiting for you. It’s not like he had a vendetta with you or anything, you were just any other criminal —  who flirted with him sometimes, and made him smile sometimes. Which totally didn’t lead to you getting away or anything. 

You finally entered the museum, dropping down from the skylight with a rope landing on the ground with a silent thud. Cats do have to be quiet don’t they? Your heels clicked on the ground, as you walked over to one of the displays containing a diamond necklace worth over at least fifty five million dollars. Your hands reached out to it, cutting the display glass with your claws making a perfect circle. Your corners of your mouth upturned, smiling as you reached the display with both of your hands almost reaching it. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Miles hanged from the ceiling with his web hanging upside down, finally revealing himself to you. 

“You were waiting for me?” You asked with a slight smirk on your face, looking up to him as you remove your hands from the display and cross your arms. 

“Well I figured a necklace like this would catch your eye,” 

“You know me so well spidey,” you replied smiling before, reaching back into the display to take the necklace for yourself. You put on the necklace, “Tell me spidey, does it look good on me?” you watch as he drops down from the ceiling, next to the display leaning on it crossing his arms and looking at you, “Everything looks good on you, but I thought cats liked fish more than diamonds?” he replied. 

Smiling, you take out your grappling hook from its holster. 

“Well a cat’s gotta pay off some debts, and diamonds fetch a real good price,” you point your grappling gun towards the skylight, quickly pulling the trigger you raise from the ground swinging up to the air almost to the exit before a web clings to your leg stopping you. 

“Y’know I’m gonna catch you right?” Miles said, holding the web with one hand, looking up at you. 

“You always let me go though,” You look down at him smirking, pulling a knife from your pocket severing the web letting you free. You pull yourself up, before looking down at him again blowing a kiss. 

“Not letting you go this time…” Miles mutters, swinging his way up there to catch you.

[mooooonnnzz]

here me out, miguel w a daughter who adores mayday

Babysitting Mayday! // Miguel O’Hara x Daughter!Reader X Mayday Platonic

✮ fem reader!

✮ teen reader WOOO

✮ reader is hesitant on looking after mayday at first but warms up

✮ i think thats all??

✮ SEND MORE IDEAS FOR DAD MIGUEL!!

✮ i got a lil carried away w the req 😭

You scrolled through your phone absentmindedly, too caught up in the thoughts running wild in your head to realize the front door was open. You also failed to hear the loud clamor of Peter eagerly dashing down the hallway. What brought you out of your head was Peter’s frantic calls of your name. He waved his hand at you, smiling widely. Mayday, who was on the baby carrier that was wrapped around his chest, babbled cheerfully, clearly mocking her father’s giddy attitude.

“Peter, what are you doing here?” You turned off your phone and tossed it aside.

“I’m here to lend Mayday over to you!” The smile on his face grew impossibly larger. Mayday threw her cubby fists up in the air, kicking her feet back and forth as she let out a gurgled “Yeah!”

“Wait, what?”

Peter put his hands under Mayday’s armpits and lifted her up. “Yeah! Miguel told me that you’d love to take care of Mayday.” He placed Mayday on the couch, chuckling softly at her when she flopped forward onto the couch. She pushed herself up and shook her head, her rumpled ginger hair swayed along the action.

Peter set his hands on his waist and turned his attention over to you, his smile dropping at your aghast expression. “Did he tell you?”

“No! He didn’t tell me.” Your eyes trailed off to Miguel’s bedroom where he was peacefully sleeping, unaware of the situation that was unfolding in the living room.

“Oh…” Peter frowned, unclasping the baby carrier around his chest. “I’m sorry to dump her on you, kiddo.” Peter’s genuine empathy did lessen the annoyance of the whole thing. He looked truly upset for you. “I wish I could take her back but I already promised to take MJ out on a date.”

The mention of his date made you notice the crumpled black suit Peter was wearing. His suit was crinkled and untucked, and the white button up was pooling out of his jeans. His tie was loose and sweat stains were seen on his shirt. His hair which looked like it was styled properly before he came rushing over here became messy and unkempt. Peter toyed with the cuffs of his suit, flashing a charming smile at you. “How do I look?”

“Oh, uhm—!”

The loud trill of Peter’s phone saved you from the inevitable truth. He jumped at the sudden noise and fished his phone out of his back pocket, walking away from the living room and into the hallway to privately talk to who you assume is MJ.

You look over to Mayday and weakly smiled at her. “I’m stuck with you now, huh?” As if she understood you, she clapped her hands together, smiling back at you.

Peter comes back, placing a large bag filled with Mayday’s necessities and what not. He quickly informs you of Mayday’s schedule, what to feed her, when to change her, and other things you dreaded doing. He finished his rambling with a loving kiss on Mayday’s forehead and chaste goodbye with you.

The front door closed and you were officially alone with Mayday for the time being. You awkwardly looked over to Mayday, a small snort leaving your lips as she rolled back and forth on the couch. Though, your laugh was cut short when Mayday rolled too close to the edge. You let out a gasp as you reach out for her and catch her in your arms with ease.

“Jesus, Mayday. You almost hurt yourself!” You tell her, knowing she couldn’t fully understand you. Mayday only giggled in response and began clambering out of your hold. This is going to be a long night.

The loud joyful shrills of a little baby sounded in the house, disrupting Miguel from his nap. With a groan, he got up from the bed and slipped on the unicorn slippers you gifted him for Father��s Day. He let out a yawn and he sleepily shuffled out into the living room.

“What’s with all the noise?” He grumbles out, bleary eyes blinking harshly under the bright light.

His question was answered with little Mayday darting past him, giddily squealing as you chased her. Miguel rose a curious brow, watching you scoop Mayday into your arms. “I caught you!”

“Why is Mayday here?” He squinted at Mayday, letting out his signature sigh. He treaded his way into the kitchen to make himself his coffee.

Mayday crawled out of your arms and wrapped her legs around your neck, resting her little body on your head. You placed your hands on her tiny knees to root her in place as you walked over to Miguel.

“Apparently, you told Peter that I’d babysit her today.” You looked at him with such an accusing look that Miguel had to roll his eyes. “Oh, I did?” He put a pink princess cup under the coffee maker and watched with tired eyes how the cup filled up with his bitter coffee. He was using the coffee cup you gave him when you were little. Removing the cup out of the coffee maker, he took a quick sip before smirking at you.

“I don’t remember saying that.” His voice was a mix of amusement and sarcasm. To mask the growing shit-eating grin on his face, he brought the cup back to his lips and started drinking from it.

You gasp dramatically. “Yes, you do! You did this on purpose.”

“Don’t act like taking care of Mayday is so hard,” Miguel said, ruffling Mayday’s hair with his hand. “Isn’t that right, mamita? She’s just being dramatic, isn’t she?” Miguel spoke to Mayday in his baby voice. She babbled in response.

Miguel plopped down on the couch, sipping his coffee as he grabbed the remote. “I didn’t want to babysit her for another time so I told him that you’d babysit her,” Miguel says, surfing through the channels to find anything that piqued his interest.

Your eyes widen in realization. “Is that why you took a nap in the afternoon? So he wouldn’t see you?”Mayday’s hands gripped onto your hair, pulling and playing with it. “Ay! Mayday.” You grabbed her sides and removed her from your shoulders. Your fingers grazed her stomach, and squeals of laughter left her as you tickled her. Her hands let go of your hair in the process.

“Yeah,” He takes another sip of his coffee. “I told him I was busy with work.” A light chuckle escapes Miguel. “I don’t know why he believed me. I’m off on Saturdays.”

With Mayday in your hands, you decided to drop her on him for revenge. You dropped Mayday on his chest, her body tumbling down his chest and onto his thighs. “Careful with my coffee!” Miguel scolded, jerking the hand that held the coffee cup away from the destructive toddler.

“My bad.” You laugh, laying down on the sofa. Mayday notices you laying down and waddles her way over to you, flopping herself onto your stomach. You run your fingers through her hair, soothing Mayday to sleep.

“She’s so cute.” You whisper, smiling at Mayday who’s curled up into a ball on your stomach. “She reminds me of you when you were younger,” Miguel says softly, his heart warming at the sight of you and Mayday.

Your mouth drops open in shock. “I was not this crazy as a baby.” You couldn’t remember the last time you were able to sit down in peace ever since Mayday arrived. There was no way you were as energetic as her.

“Oh, you don’t remember, but I do.” He shakes his head in amusement. “You pooped and peed everywhere—“

“—Okay, okay! I don’t see the reason why you needed to mention me crapping and pissing everywhere.”

Miguel fights back a laugh as he shrugs. “But it’s true.” You scoff playfully, your eyes moving to the TV screen to watch whatever Miguel put on.

A comfortable silent blankets the three of you. As your eyelids begin to droop, your hand cards through Mayday’s hair one last time before you knock out. The stress of today finally catching up on you. Though, you couldn’t complain. Mayday was fun to have around. Maybe babysitting Mayday wasn’t so bad.

[loudrats]

Loud Rats Book Club 2023

This year the rats became literate!

We suggested a number of books each month and then voted on one to read (somehow Fish managed to read all 12 of them… wild!). The ones in red are the winners, but there are some other really good books in there.

Hopefully you can find your next favourite read below! :)

January

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Hangsaman by Shirley Jackson

The Butchering Art by Lindsay Fitzharris

Earthlings by Sayaka Murata

Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk

Why Fish Don't Exist by Lulu Miller

The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Tolstoy

Fledgling by Octavia Butler

Pirates and Prejudice by Kara Louise

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin

February

Adua by Igiaba Scego

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters

The Passion by Jeanette Winterson

Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey

March

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

The Humans by Matt Haig

Cane by Jean Toomer

Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa

The Memory Police by Yōko Ogawa

The Fifth Season by N. K. Jemisin (#1 Broken Earth Trilogy)

Young Mungo by Douglas Stewart

April

Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrel

Dubliners by James Joyce

The Tiger's Wife by Téa Obreht

My Cousin Rachel by Daphne du Maurier

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

Entangled Life by Merlin Sheldrake

May

Mary: An Awakening of Terror by Nat Cassidy

No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

Where You Come From by Saša Stanišić

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

Gwen and Art Are Not in Love by Lex Croucher

June

Death in Her Hands by Ottessa Moshfegh

Our Hideous Progeny by C. E. McGill

Swimming in the dark by Tomasz Jędrowski

Girls like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko

Diary of a Wimpy Kid 17 by Jeff Kinney

Zami: A New Spelling of my Name by Audre Lorde

Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century by Kim Fu

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

July

Kid Youtuber 9: Everything is Fine by Marcus Emerson, Noah Child

Bored Gay Werewolf by Tony Santorella

Hit Parade Of Tears by Izumi Suzuki

When Death Takes Something from You Give It Back: Carl's Book by Naja Marie Aidt

Pandora's Jar by Natalie Haynes

The Decagon House Murders by Yukito Ayatsuji

The Summer Book by Tove Jansson

Mapping the Interior by Stephan Graham Jones

August

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

Small Game by Blair Braverman

Free: Coming of Age at the End of History by Lea Ypi

September

Hag-Seed by Margaret Atwood

The Employees: A workplace novel of the 22nd century by Olga Ravn

Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk

October

Linghun by Ai Jiang

Eyes Guts Throat Bones by Moira Fowley-Doyle

The City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers

The Half Life of Valery K by Natasha Pulley

Catch the Rabbit by Lana Bastašić

Kindred by Octavia Butler

November

Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut

Life For Sale by Yukio Mishima

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

Liberation Day by George Saunders

Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter

Eugene Onegin by Alexander Pushkin

Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin

December

Arsène Lupin versus Herlock Sholmes by Maurice Leblanc

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien

Minor Detail by Adania Shibli

Prophet Song by Paul Lynch

Migrations by Charlotte McConaghy

[criesinliess]

━OCTOBER 2023; susan's recs

TOP GUN MAVERICK

━━JAKE 'HANGMAN' SERSIN

good in bed @top-hhun

ex-appeal @tongue-like-a-razor

━━BRADLEY 'ROOSTER' BRADSHAW

called it @heliads

ONE PIECE LIVE ACTION

━━SANJI

service with a smile! @paperultra

hammock. @↑

aries and the turtle @↑

shinny offering @thefandomdirtymind

go fish! part4 @honnelander

accidentally in love @revasserium

sanji is jealous of the attention you’re getting @undiscovered-horizon

━━ZORO

pick me up @togenabi

hold me (still) @revasserium

un-certainly @↑

my girl @↑

all that i need @eclidse

NOW YOU SEE ME

━━JACK WILDER

scouting out @heliads

all for a show @↑

SCREAM

━━ETHAN LANDRY

party foul @certifiedlovergirlsstuff

no! i love love you! @etfrin

HARRY POTTER

━━FRED WEASLEY

only if you catch me @wreckofawriter

━━THEODORE NOTT

darling socialite @fangisms

THE BEAR

━━CARMY BERZATTO

cinnamon sugar @laiiaaa

TEEN WOLF

━━DAREK HALE

they say love is pain @heliads

LOCKWOOD & CO

━━ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

„slut!” @lewkwoodnco

safe and sound @↑

how you get the girl @↑

i can build a castle out of all the bricks they throw at me @novelizt

THE OTHER ZOEY

━━ZACH MACLAREN

the other zach @cameronspecial

DIVERGENT

━━PETER HAYES

missing link @heliads

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Incomplete vs. overshoot

I'm on tour with my new novel The Bezzle! Catch me TONIGHT in Seattle (Feb 26) with Neal Stephenson, then Portland, Phoenix and more!

You know the "horseshoe theory," right? "The far-left and the far-right, rather than being at opposite and opposing ends of a linear continuum of the political spectrum, closely resemble each other, analogous to the way that the opposite ends of a horseshoe are close together":

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horseshoe_theory

It's a theory that only makes sense if you don't know much about the right and the left and what each side wants out of politics.

Take women's suffrage. The early suffragists ("suffragettes" in the UK) were mostly interested in votes for affluent, white women – not women as a body. Today's left criticizes the suffrage movement on the basis that they didn't go far enough:

https://www.npr.org/2011/03/25/134849480/the-root-how-racism-tainted-womens-suffrage

Contrast that with Christian Dominionists – the cranks who think that embryos are people (though presumably not for the purpose of calculating a state's electoral college vote? Though it would be cool if presidential elections turned on which side of a state line a fertility clinic's chest-freezer rested on):

https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/otm/segments/how-alabama-ivf-ruling-was-influenced-christian-nationalism-on-the-media?tab=summary

These people are part of a far-right coalition that wants to abolish votes for women. As billionaire far-right bagman Peter Thiel wrote that he thought it was a mistake to let women vote at all:

https://www.cato-unbound.org/2009/04/13/peter-thiel/education-libertarian/

Superficially, there's some horseshoe theory action going on here. The left thinks the suffragists were wrong. The right thinks they were wrong, too. Therefore, the left and the right agree!

Well, they agree that the suffragists were wrong, but for opposite reasons – and far, far more importantly, they totally disagree about what they want. The right wants a world where no women can vote. The left wants a world where all women can vote. The idea that the right and the left agree on women's suffrage is, as the physicists say, "not even wrong."

It's the kind of wrong that can only be captured by citing scripture, specifically, A Fish Called Wanda, 6E, 79: "The central message of Buddhism is not 'Every man for himself.' And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up."

Or take the New Deal. While the New Deal set its sites on liberating workers from precarity, abuse and corruption, the Dealers – like the suffragists – had huge gaps in their program, omitting people of color, indigenous people, women, queer people, etc. There are lots of leftists who criticize the New Deal on this basis: it didn't go far enough:

https://livingnewdeal.org/new-deal-and-race/

But for the past 40 years, America has seen a sustained, vicious assault on New Deal programs, from Social Security to Medicare to food stamps to labor rights to national parks, funded by billionaires who want to bring back the Gilded Age and turn us all into forelock-tugging plebs:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/06/the-end-of-the-road-to-serfdom/

If you only view politics as a game of elementary school cliques, you might say that the left and the right are meeting again. The left says Roosevelt got it wrong with the New Deal (because he left out so many people). The right says FDR was wrong for doing the New Deal in the first place. Therefore, the left and the right agree, right?

Obviously wrong. Obviously. Again, the important thing is why the left and the right think the New Deal deserves criticism. The important thing is what the left and the right want. The left wants universal liberation. The right wants us all in economic chains. They do not agree.

It's not always just politics, either. Take the old, good internet. That was an internet defined by technological self-determination, a wild and wooly internet where there were few gatekeepers, where disfavored groups could find each other and make common cause, where users who were threatened by the greed of the shareholders behind big services could install blockers, mods, alternative clients and other "adversarial interoperability" tools that seized the means of computation.

Today's enshitternet – "five giant websites, filled with screenshots of the other four" (h/t Tom Eastman) – is orders of magnitude more populous than that old, good internet. The enshitternet has billions of users, and they are legally – and technologically – prevented from taking any self-help measures when the owners of services change them to shift value from users to themselves:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

The anti-enshittification movement rightly criticizes the old, good internet because it wasn't inclusive enough. It was a system almost exclusively hospitable to affluent, privileged people – the people who least needed the liberatory power of technology.

Likewise pro-enshittification monopolists – billionaires and their useful idiots – deplore the old, good internet because it gave its users too much power. For them, ad-blocking, alternative clients, mods, reverse-engineering and so on were all bugs, not features. For them, the enshitternet is great because businesses can literally criminalize taking action to protect yourself from their predatory impulses:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/20/benevolent-dictators/#felony-contempt-of-business-model

Superficially, it seems like the pro- and anti-enshittification forces agree – they both agree that the old, good internet was a mistake. But the difference that matters here is that the pro-enshittification side wants everyone mired in the enshitternet forever, living with what Jay Freeman calls "Felony contempt of business-model." By contrast, the disenshittification side wants a new, good internet that gives every user – not just a handful of techies – the power to decide how the digital systems they work use, and to be able to alter or reconfigure them to suit their own needs.

The horsehoe theory only makes sense if you don't take into account the beliefs and goals of each side. Politics aren't just a matter of who you agree with on a given issue – the real issue is what you're trying to accomplish.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/26/horsehoe-crab/#substantive-disagreement

[webslingingslasher]

this is frat!peter i’m crying

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cvm-mBPp8Jd/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

NO STOPPP WHY DO I WANNA WRITE THIS:::

ok so u see this trend right, and yeah, you’re gonna test the fuck out of peter so for the first time ever (since that one scare) you’re excited for your period. the second you get it- ITS TIME TO FUCK W HIM

you played it up all afternoon saying how you feel yucky because of cramps and your head hurts and he’s all ‘my baby :( come cuddle’ after a few hours you roll away for the bathroom and wait a few minutes and very timidly open the door.

‘petey?’

‘trouble?’

you stay silent- he looks up and sees you staring at your socks. you look ashamed.

‘what’s wrong?’

you nibble on your lip, ‘im on my period’

‘i’m aware, feeling extra crampy? wanna shower sex it up?’

-you almost toss the plan to the side. almost-

you shake your head, ‘something bad happened’

peter’s first thought was a leak, he throws his blankets back and looks over the sheets.

‘no, you’re all clear.’

‘um, i was trying to change my tampon.’

‘gross.’

‘and…. i can’t.’

peter catches on, he slowly rises from bed and throws a shirt on.

‘no biggie, text me what kind you use. i’ll go grab em.’

he’s too kind. you stop him.

‘no!’

your ‘panic’ stops him.

‘why, you want pads?’

‘no, i …’ you mumble the words, it makes him step closer, he pulls at your hand.

‘what’s that, mumbles?’

you look up to see his reaction, ‘it’s… stuck in me.’

his eyes flash down to your pajama shorts.

‘what’s stuck in you?’

‘my tampon.’

peter’s eyes shoot back down.

‘how… how does that happen? i don’t… what do you mean stuck?’

‘like- i can’t reach it. it’s up there.’

peter acts like he’s pulling a rope above him.

‘isn’t there like… one of these.’

you shake your head, ‘i mean it, peter. way up there.’ you look away when you ask, ‘will you help?’

peter stares at your crotch. ‘like… you want me to go fishing in there?’

‘i can’t reach it!’

‘i…’ he wants to say how gross it is, but he’d be joking and you seem embarrassed to even ask. plus, it’s not like you have anyone else to ask. he knows that area in and out, if anyone could do it quickly it’d be him.

your face falls when he walks away, you thought he’d be down for it. it’s just a joke but now you know he wouldn’t actually do it, it makes you feel hurt.

it’s like he can sense your upset.

‘i’m not leaving you, im getting the towel.’

the towel.

may got him a set of dark red towels to match with his frat, and one night when peter seemed a little desperate, you shut him down with a sorry pout.

‘shark week. trust me, with these cramps, it kills me to say no.’

it insulted peter you think that’d stop him. he hadn’t had period sex before that but he can imagine it’s the same just a little wetter, and he assumes you’d be extremely sensitive so…

he brings a red towel out and raises his eyebrows.

‘i’m down if you’re down.’

and since then, it’s the towel. it stays in the closet until it’s needed, then you wash it and return in.

a smile breaks over your face, he’s jumping into action.

‘no! you don’t have to! i was just testing you.’

peter’s closet door slowly shuts, ‘so, no stuck tampon?’

‘no, i just wanted to see if you would do it.’

‘oh. well, should i put the towel away?’

you step out from the bathroom doorway to look at him, you share a glance that says the same thing. peter tosses the towel to the bed while you answer.

‘no.’