#Praxis has a lot of Regrets

[radioactivepeasant]

@segaphantom MORE CROC!!

(Giant Dark Jak inspired by unused concept art from The Game We Don't Acknowledge. He's a Good Boi. Its not his fault the KG keep making their armor so crunchy!)

[wifelinkmtg]

There's "spaghetti western" and then there's whatever the hell this Chef Boyardee shit is

Hello! and welcome back to Wifelink. We're talking about Outlaws of Thunder Junction today, Magic's second product in a row set in a version of Nevada, and let me tell you something: I am not impressed. The mechanics are uninspired, the setting is undercooked, the story is overstuffed, and to top it all off the whole thing smacks of settler-colonialism. AND they yassified Vraska, the monsters!

WE WILL GET TO THE HOT WOMEN, BELIEVE YOU ME, BUT FIRST I AM GOING TO COMPLAIN SOMEWHAT, AS IS MY RIGHT AS AN AMERICAN, AS A HUMAN BEING, AND AS A GAMER

The mechanics we've discussed elsewhere, and I will skim over the main storyline except to say that very few of this Big Villain Heist Team-Up gets enough spotlight to justify their inclusion here beyond getting recognizable names on cards, and that Rakdos' presence on the plane alone ought to be an apocalyptic calamity. I appreciate Jace & Vraska going full blackpilled accelerationist, stealing a baby, and aiming to destroy the multiverse & start over (a novel hybrid of Raising Arizona and Doctor Strangelove,) but I also know, sure as the sun rises, that whatever happens with their villain arc will be a underwhelming let-down.

What I actually want to complain about, though, is the setting. Thunder Junction ain't real, and I don't mean it's fictional, I mean it's plywood facades on a backlot. It's the set for a cowboy film. You feel me? This ain't a plane, it's a god damned sound stage.

Lemme go over the facts: we know Thunder Junction has been settled for a bit over a year. A year! - and yet there's multiple towns, multiple railways, and an honest-to-god metropolis. Less than two years and we already have ghost towns! This is not the product of a bunch of people on various planes all individually deciding to seek a new life in the off-world colonies. All of this represents a staggering quantity of people, material, wealth, and labor, being moved between planes, directed and organized - but by whom? For what reason? How, even? The story is totally uninterested in these questions.

One of the few silver linings to the way the Phyrexian invasion storyline ended was that the Omenpaths had a lot of interesting potential! Different planes would come into direct contact with each other for the first time ever! Different technologies, different philosophies and religions, different kinds of magic colliding, coming into conflict, adapting and adjusting to each other. And after a couple of sets where the interplanar contact was limited to one or two particularly adventurous individuals, we finally get to see what interplanar contact at scale looks like here in Thunder Junction... and it just looks like a John Wayne flick. Did people not bring their culture with them? Is there a big rack of hats and boots and dusters right where people step off the Omenpath? Shuck off those old Ravnican rags, kid, get changed. You'll spoil the aesthetic. I mean, it's baffling.

Luxurious Locomotive (art by Leon Tukker). This is one of the few man-made parts of this plane that I can look at and know where it came from: this is a Kaladeshi design. More of this sort of thing would have made Thunder Junction feel more like a real place and less like a Sergio Leone joint.

There's a side story, No Tells, by Isaac Fellman, which I quite like actually: it's about guilt and betrayal and the inevitable regrets of having moved into a queer housing co-op, and one of the things that makes it great is that we know where Yuma came from (New Capenna), we know why he left (the limitations of "be gay do crimes" as praxis under capitalism), and we know what he brought to Thunder Junction with him (cocktails, pool tables, and his co-op's emergency funds). Fellman has written nothing else for Wizards and doesn't play Magic, and even so he's done more to make Thunder Junction feel like a real place situated in a real history than the rest of the story team combined - which goes to show, one, that we should only let trans people write magic story for the next decade or so, and two, that what I'm asking for in terms of worldbuilding is not unattainable, or even that difficult.

And all of this ties into the colonialism, right? Thunder Junction is being colonized, and asking questions about who benefits, who's sponsoring this breakneck settlement of the plane, what they're after and so forth would require the story to take a good hard look at the process of colonization itself, and Wizards is flatly unwilling to engage with anything that thorny in their products. So, just as Ixalan involved a limp-wristed slant reenactment of the Spanish conquest of the Americas - but it's fine because they're the bad guys and they're technically not even trying to colonize Ixalan and they don't win anyway so no one gets hurt! - Thunder Junction is attempting to present a Disneyland version of Western colonialism. Untamed wilderness! Bringing civilization to uninhabited deserts! How cool and heroic these hard frontiersmen and -women are! I'm told they brought in Navajo cultural consultants for the Atiin, a fantasy equivalent, and I hope those folks were well compensated! The Atiin seem cool, and the one Atiin character we spend any time with is well-written, but the Atiin are not indigenous to Thunder Junction. They're not being colonized. And if there weren't anybody being colonized, I'd probably still dislike the colonial vision of a wild land inhabited only by animals, just waiting for us to shape it to our will with railways and violence, but there is in fact a native race of sapients on Thunder Junction, and these cactus folk get no voice in the story, so if they have some kind of opinion on the rapid colonization of their home and the clear-cutting of their cactus forests, we don't get to hear about it.

Prickly Pair (art by Brian Valeza) Too much of the extremely-limited presence Thunder Junction's only indigenous sapients have on the cards is devoted to cactus-based puns like this one, which is pretty distasteful given, you know, the colonialism.

I'm talking about colonialism not because I think that replicating colonial myths in fantasy fiction is an unethical thing to do - although it is - but because you can see, right, that Thunder Junction's lack of verisimilitude is intertwined with the colonial vision of the world at play here, yeah? The story wants to have cool cowboy shootouts and train robberies and it does not want its cowboy fantasy to be complicated by uncomfortable realities, so it has to avoid all of the basic worldbuilding questions that would tell us who the colonization benefits and how they're profiting off the plane, and in the end we're left with nothing but an empty aesthetic, like a duster hanging off a scarecrow, blowing in the wind.

ANYWAY SO WOMEN

To be honest, under the circumstances I'm not really feeling like giving the fine women of Thunder Junction my usual more elaborate treatment, so we're going to lightning-round this shit, which is at least thematic.

Blood Hustler (art by Anna Pavleeva)

Vampire MILF.

Rattleback Apothecary (art by Loïc Canavaggia)

Snake MILF.

Wrangler of the Damned (art by Michal Ivan)

Cis lesbian haircut, good with a rope.

Obeka, Splitter of Seconds (art by Ryan Pancoast)

BIG

[mudefrau]

out of oz actually interests me... i'm gonna read it. but i'm going to do things in order because everyone that hasn't has regretted it. it's not like his narrative is linear ever but you have to follow the author's mental logic in a way.

maguire adds a lot of explanations retroactively about things that i've been wondering before, and i can feel him lampshading in some lines (ugh).

like, about nipp. why do you tell us now? anyway i'm interested in him. this expands on nessa as he's connected to her.

the book has also commander cherrystone which interests me bc he's close to shell (i will draw him sometime lmoa. also chyde) and to liir/trism sorta... i feel however like shell's transformation isn't really explained... he just shows up and he's changed.

(i know it's bad praxis but i was skimming to see if the book interested me😭 also more trism suffering yayy)

[0junemeatcleaver0]

Feeling just a wee bit torn re: attempting to heal the rift in the fandom. For, like, several reasons.

Not the least of which is the matter of theory vs. praxis. Everyone I have personally spoken to in this fandom has seemed to be on the same page. Racism is bad. Pedophilia is bad. Transphobia is bad. Etc.

But we're gonna have a damned hard time getting to the praxis bit if we can't even agree on how the stuff above actually manifests in a harmful way.

Not liking the casting for the new show doesn't automatically make you a racist. It simply doesn't. There are many non-malicious reasons for being hesitant to accept Jacob!Louis ranging from "I don't trust white showrunners to handle his story with the level of care it deserves" to "even from what we've seen of him in the Louis garb, he just looks like Some Guy™️ (I feel this way about Sam personally--I really think the only one ethereal looking enough to be a convincing vampire is Bailey tbh).

Shipping is not pedophilia. Can it squick you personally? Sure. I'd it well within your right to not want to engage in it? Also yes. There are ways to block things tagged for content you don't wish to see. But exploring power dynamics in fantasy is not the same thing as condoning real life abuse. Full stop. I've already reblogged a great break down debunking the notion that fiction negatively affects reality in any meaningful way and while the post is written in the aggressive tone of someone sick of having to have the same tired argument for the umpteenth time, it is worth a read.

And from what I've been able to gather, most of us are aware of and have blocked that one fuckhead TERF. Good on us for immediately agreeing on something and no, that's not sarcasm. Good job team.

And as far as praxis goes. Well. Again we're gonna have to reign it in and be realistic about what the "how" is going to look like.

Which is where I should probably address my own role in all this. Because I know as discussions continue, this post will make it onto the dash of someone I have long since blocked and they will immediately see it and think, "that's rich, coming from you".

And perhaps. We've all seen the callout post I made a while back. And it's hard for me not to continue to stand by everything I said. I still think that a lot of the white folks who were most vocally calling others (on this platform specifically) racist aren't great at allyship work. With the clarity of hindsight, I think that stems from being young, growing up under surveillance culture, and living in an era where slacktivism feels like the only thing available to them. The cause isn't malicious, even if the effects are.

Do I regret some of my phrasing and things I overlooked? Yeah. When going over the "listen to POC bit", I should have delved deeper into the fact that, quelle surprise, POC aren't a hive mind. You'll hear differing opinions. There's a lot of nuance there and you're going to have to cast your opinion net pretty wide, listen to all these different opinions, and extrapolate from there. Because having 1-2 black friends who agree with you means fuck all in a world where Candice Owens exists. People with opinions that are ultimately harmful to themselves exist in every group, sorry to break it to you. Allyship is hard because it requires building a very nuanced lens through which to view the world. It requires you to acknowledge the Candice Owneses of the world while recognizing the pain and fear that led them to having the opinions they do, as well as listening to and engaging in meaningful, educational discussions with people who hold opinions you view as ignorant. It's work. That's what makes it work. Screaming at someone will not change their mind. Trying to rationally 'debate' someone with illogical opinions will not work because they didn't use logic to form those opinions. And that's hard work! But it does work and it's worth it.

And I don't know that I drove all of that home in my original post.

Do I regret dunking so hard on SM at the end of that post? Yes and no. Working on yourself as a person is a continuous journey and while intellectually I know that the "bully the bullies" approach I took in high school (and that post) stems from growing up in a carceral society where punishment is in much higher a regard than harm reduction and education, I also won't lie to you and claim that deep down I don't sometimes feel like a good tongue lashing isn't earned on a 1:1 basis.

Which is another sidebar point, which is we should all be honest about where we may have individually dropped the ball here, and be honest with ourselves about why we did it to prevent such instances in the future.

At the end of the day, if I'm being 💯 honest, the only way in which I feel remorse for the end of that post is the constant wondering I've done since publishing it about how my vitriol may have impacted SM's friend group. Could they have otherwise seen him as being a disingenuous snake before having to ultimately oust him for treating his friends poorly? I may never know.

Yes, I have been told about that. Alexa, play Everybody Talks.

Anyway. Praxis.

Whatever we all decide moving forward, we all need to be on the same page if we're going to make this thing work. But I think before we get to that point, we're all gonna have to bury the hatchet, whatever that's gonna look like for those involved in whatever beef.

🤷‍♀️

[rotzaprachim]

.

[cube-cumb3r]

"techno was sure he was in the right" yeah thats the issue FJDKSLFJKL /lh

nah hes a good character i just get Frustrated w him always being so sure hes Right and has Done Nothing Wrong Ever abt things, especially since i used to really REALLY like him. but like that flaw on top of some other stuff kept piling up to the point i just couldnt Stand it :/

bc he IS wrong a lot! and thats okay he should have flaws! but i as the audience am so frustrated by it! and he comes off as an asshole bc of his refusal to see from any other perspective!

and ur fully right abt the execution thing being on schlatt dont get me wrong, my issues is more w stuff like doomsday, tommy ""betraying"" him, his jokes abt having never shot a firework before or killing no one on doomsday, etc. doing that when ppl got genuinely messed up by your actions without ever considering their pov makes you!! look!! like!! an!! asshole!!

im sorry i dont mean to techno crit in your askbox at all, i just. (horse by the ocean) man.

feel free to delete this and not answer it bc again, i Get not wanting to techno discourse 100%. i just wanted to vent to someone about it i guess

see, here's where i'm coming from. i've gotten to the point where i've stopped caring whether characters are in the right or not? like characters are supposed to be in the wrong, they're supposed to make mistakes or be misguided. that's what makes them interesting to me.

you're frustrated by it, but i find it kind of fascinating how techno's view of the world is so filtered through his emotional subjective lens, he misreads other's intentions, he mischaracterizes them frequently, he doesn't understand why others do what they do. i like that. i find it interesting. (and endearing...)

he's so upset by people not considering his own feelings and perspective, which of course he is, everyone would be, yet he never does the same to others? i've stopped being frustrated by it, i've started liking that about him. without it, where would the conflict be?

and he has questioned himself, reevaluated his Praxis let's say, there hasn't been much syndicate stuff yet (can you guys please stream people are making a million takes based on like Nothing), but that's kind of the point of the syndicate, techno reevaluating himself, and his methods. (there's a good post by a c!techno enthusiast about this btw, that i agree with, boop)

i don't think it makes sense for him to feel regret, or remorse, he stands by the things he did, and he probably always will. and that's fine. i've said this before now, but really all i want to see from him is understanding other peoples point of view, which he rarely does. he can understand where other people might've been coming from, and sympathize with them, and still stand by his actions. the only thing i can ever see him be apologetic for is for being an asshole sometimes, or misunderstanding others, but even then like, i don't really care if that doesn't happen?

what does frustrate me however is when the fanbase is exactly the same, they claim he's always in the right ever (tbh they're entitled to their opinion), and they never consider any other characters POV and take all of techno's emotionally charged judgements of others and their intentions at face value. (EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING. STOP DOING THIS. I BEG OF YOU.)

[dreadwulf]

I often wonder how much Tyrion’s pull back from evil will be tied to Jaime and their relationship. I know a lot of people want or think Tyrion’s endgame will be becoming Warden of the West, Hand of the King, King or some combination of those positions, but I kind of don’t want Tyrion in one of those positions because so much of his arc circles around entitlement and the idea that these positions of power will give him respect or make up for the past. They can’t. 1/3

If he does go through with killing his family and all those who wronged him, what makes him any different from Tywin? Yes, Tywin’s legacy will partially go awry because his least favorite son is his true heir in every way. However, Tywin and the current Lannisters’ ruthless worldview would be upheld because Tyrion used violent and under-handed methods to win. Tywin showed time and time again that he didn’t really give a fuck about any of his relatives unless they were enacting his will

If GRRM wants to prove Tywin Lannister’s power grabbing and petty violence as wrong, why allow Tyrion to succeed in his quest for the Rock and revenge? He might regret it but wouldn’t the fact that he won still affirm that Tyrion could only succeed through violence and betrayal, the political praxis of the current generation of Lannisters? I wonder if Tyrion might be forced to choose between the Rock and Jaime in some manner or having a parallel to moment in I think the Battle of the Blackwater, where Tyrion wishes his warrior big brother was there to protect him but where Tyrion comes to rescue Jaime during a battle (I couldn’t find the quote since the Google search was flooded with Stannis analysis and episode recaps)? While the insular Lannisters are all about the Lannisters, they don’t really see each other as people and more as tools to use? Would it make sense for Tyrion to defeat his father’s memory and his family’s unhealthy dynamics and not see his brother as an obstacles or a tool for his victory, but as a person with his own flaws, growth, and desires and reject his supposed end goal of power and vindication in favor of reforming a bond with his brother? Or could his campaign end up endangering Penny or Bronn down the line and he has to make a tough call to drop out? Could he give up The Rock to help Dany? I went on longer than intended. I am really interested in hearing your thoughts!!!

well, there’s not a lot of room to comment here, you rather covered it. Tyrion’s revenge quest is misguided, and it’s a matter of when he will realize it. That ADWD makes a point of saying Tyrion is the closest to Tywin in ruthlessness is a sign that he will get a lot closer to the brink than we’d like. 

When I think of Tyrion’s storyline I just keep thinking “A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid” - which everyone takes as foreshadowing for Cersei, since that’s who he’s threatening, but it might very well be Tyrion’s fate. He’ll get everything he wanted, and realize it wasn’t what he needed. At that point he can become an even more ruthless and miserable bastard like Tywin, or he can turn back. If Team Aegon does burn down King’s Landing as is widely assumed, Tyrion will technically win, but hopefully feel shitty about it. Then he’ll really have to figure out what he really wants and how he can really make use of his cleverness for positive effect. That may or may not involve Jaime - it might be better if it doesn’t, and the two of them forge a new relationship at the end of their respective journeys. 

To me, an actual happy ending for Tyrion would be a family of his own that truly loves and respects him. That’s what would heal the wounds of his childhood. Too often theories have him getting that respect by becoming the Hand like his father (which he's already been!) or some other seat of power, but that only gets him the respect and not the love, and I think it would be an empty victory for him. Let him fall in love! Let him be a dad! I don’t insist everyone gets married and has babies but this seems like the natural fulfillment of his character arc, and yet fandom is weirdly quiet about these possibilities for him. 

[join-the-joywrite]

Hamish & Vera soulmate au headcannons

Lil headcannons for a colours soulmate au in which the S1 finale wasn't the first time Hamish had been hit in the face with the powder. Because why not? This version of the colours is the one where you can only see varying shades of the colour of your soulmate's eyes. Because why not?

Here is part two, as promised

To everyone who knows Vera on any level, she hasn't changed a bit. Okay, maybe she's a little bit more sharp now and then and she gets a little testy whenever it rains. But maybe that's just the stress of being Grand Magus, and Temple Magus, and Chancellor of Belgrave setting in.

When she's alone at home, Vera stays up late into the night, wondering if she made the right decisions. She falls asleep in Hamish's jacket often.

The jacket is completely worn through now, the suede verging on ruined again. But she doesn't want to make back to brand new again nor does she ever want to get rid of it. It's quite literally that last bit of Hamish -- her Hamish -- that she has left.

She tells herself that it's for the best. If the Knights remained active, the Order would pursue them to the ends of the earth. But you have a seat of power almost all disciples would die for, that inner voice says, you can turn the Order around.

"They're our enemies." "But they don't know that." Well ok fine but I'm also deathly afraid of seeing Hamish's face again so let's not talk about this ever.

Eventually, logic trumps all else and Vera agrees to induct the Knights.

When Alyssa returns their memories, Jack is consumed by rage and hatred. Hamish wants to feel the same, he wants to be burned bitter by the betrayal, but he can't.

"Secrets are terrible things. They ruin the best of things and can break down nearly everything."

"I love you."

Hamish understands Randall's apprehension, Lilith's disgust and Jack's rage. He wants to say he feels the same. But all he feels his confusion. All he thinks about is the day he watched Vera leave.

Who's jacket had she been wearing?

Hamish runs his thumb over the letter hanging from the chain before tucking it under his new Order robes.

Did the necklace belong ..... to Vera? Because he knows it isn't his and he found it right where he'd fallen.

What the fuck is in Hamish's head on repeat for the entire evening.

"If you're going to stand there, at least make yourself useful." While Vera congratulates herself on her ability to appear as normal in front of Hamish, Hamish studies Vera as he passes her a drink. The same drink he'd watched her make back in the den.

Vera is momentarily distracted by the taste of the drink in her hand.

"Drinks are an art form, V, which means I can make whatever I want with justifiable reasoning." Laughter echoes. "And what are you calling this drink? It's a bit . . . harsh for all your old suggestions." "I'm thinking something along the lines of Vera."

"Are you calling me harsh?!" "I would never!" Pure, unfiltered joy echoes through the entire apartment.

"Magus?" Hamish's voice brings Vera back to the present. "Mingle, Acolyte. It's your party, after all."

Hamish reluctantly leaves the bar. He wants to stand there longer and study Vera -- maybe some of his questions will get answered.

"Drink it all in one go or your brain will shrivel up to the size of a raisin." "Bottoms up."

Suddenly, Hamish can recall his high school locker combination. Lilith is talking about some childhood fear, Randall's complaining about a retainer, Jack's crying about a tattoo -- frankly, that part scared Hamish a little -- and then he's stunned into silence with the flood of memories.

And then he's as angry as Jack was. He's furious. But not at Vera for what she did. He's furious at her for not waiting. Waiting for him to respond, waiting to see if they could have made it work.

He's furious because now he'll never know if they could have avoided all the deaths between then and now. Maybe the Knights could have allied with the Order. Maybe the Knights could have weeded out all the bad magic in the Order. Maybe he and Vera could have done it together, made the Order what she said it could be, a secret society of magic practitioners that is dedicated to preserving and passing on the art of magic. So many maybes, so many what ifs.

A part of him wants to storm into the temple, into the reliquary and demand that Vera confess. The more rational part of him keeps him grounded to protect the fact that they have their memories.

He'd feel a little bad about planning to rob the Order blind if he wasn't so pissed at them for raiding the den. Thanks to Lilith's potion, Hamish is slowly developing burning rage at the idea of being betrayed by his own goddamn soulmate. As time passes, he's starting to forget that he used to understand her circumstances, her choices being bad or worse.

So when they come across Zecchia, he's ready for it without any hesitation.

"Bring me something in a tall glass." Okay maybe a little hesitance. Just a little.

Hamish thinks it might have been a mistake when the news about Rogwan is delivered. He realises he's gone and royally fucked up on a Jack Morton level when they find out Zecchia robbed them.

"So, what's all this talk about wolves?"

Vera's too pissed with them to register the fact that Hamish has his memories (not all, though, right?) "Where is my inventory?"

"It was . . . stolen from us." "For fuck's sake, Hamish, can't you keep track of anything in that fucking apartment?" Randall: ( ͡° ʖ ͡°) (ಠ_ಠ) what the fuck is happening here 🙃 "I am seriously considering killing both of you." "Please don't." "SHUT UP"

Rogwan taking Hamish's fear could have been incredibly catastrophic if Vera had had her phone on her around the same time Hamish got his hands on money and a phone booth, even worse if she had answered any of those calls (though to be honest, she might just have been incredibly confused about it or more accurately, Hamish might not have even dialled her number properly)

Hamish standing at the phone booth with the dial tone while Randall repeatedly tries to climb a nearby tree: I know what you did, Vera Stone. You wicked witch with a cute butt. You jacket thief, alcohol thief, heart thief-- vest thief! + stupider and stupider things until Randall eventually gets his attention again.

"I give my life to the cause to protect the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose from threats both inside and out." "So . . . we're supposed to babysit the Grand Magus aka you?" Both Vera and Hamish shoot Jack a withering glare. Randall finds it funny and Jack is grateful for Randall.

"Is everyone okay?" Awww she cares. Stop smirking at her -- stop -- STOP IT, FACE!

As much as Hamish was internally laughing at Vera for her still harbouring her old feelings, Hamish realises that he hasn't forgotten his own instincts when it comes to Vera when he sees the Magistratus, Angus, charge at Vera.

He may have fucked several things up, but no one is allowed to harm Vera. Tundra is a Knight of the Blue Rose, but Hamish is Vera's -- it's not as if he'd have it any other way anyway.

Vera's pretty stressed, what with the impending end of the world. Hamish is waiting for Vera in the reliquary, having discovered something ... interesting about the Tartarus explosions.

"I got your text." Hamish stands, book in hand. "Yeah, I found -- . . . is wearing three different shades of black a conscious decision or--" "Shut up."

Hamish happily complies. Who cares what colours she's wearing when he's got her in his arms? For someone who doesn't like anyone kissing in the reliquary, Vera seems to be very unopposed to the idea when she and Hamish are the ones doing all the kissing.

Not that Hamish is complaining. He wouldn't ever want to stop Vera. "Wait -- wait, this isn't why I'm here." "Your text specifically said you had something big to show me." "I ... see how that can be misconstrued."

Vera glares. "Make it quick, I'm busy."

"Tease," Hamish mutters with a grin before delving into the very solid fact that the world is going to end.

"The council wouldn't listen to reason so . . . I gave them fear. Stopping Praxis is the only way to stopping these eruptions." "Or is it the only option you'll consider?" The glass hits the table hard. Hamish is beyond pissed, but he's not sure at what. Vera is clearly stuck between a rock and a hard place. Perhaps he should let her know about his first clash with pulveris memoria

"They're asking for something I can't give them." "Or won't." He knows he's being difficult but he doesn't feel guilty about it at all. He's still mildly miffed that Vera didn't think he could make the choice for himself on whether or not he wanted anything to do with the Order.

Of course, his entire demeanour changes when Alyssa shows up in the reliquary. He may be pissed and a little disappointed in Vera but that doesn't mean he's willing to let her stand in harm's way. And of course, Alyssa knocks him straight the fuck out. (I mean personally I don't like her but I have to admit, that was a smart move)

I can't fucking remember how the scene goes word-for-word but you all know it.

Hamish wakes with the gripping fear that Vera is hurt or worse, dead. As soon as he sees Vera though, he's incredibly calmer. She seems okay. She's alive.

"She took your magic." Honestly, it could have been worse. It really could have been a lot worse. But he doesn't say so because he knows magic is something that is important to Vera and he knows that she's fucking terrified -- even if she won't say.

"I imagine she, like you, finds me a selfish woman." "Vera, I don't think you're selfish. You're demanding and ... weirdly ticklish, but not selfish."

Vera thinks about all that she's put Hamish alone through. She has very many a regret in her life, but Hamish somehow seems to dominate that lost. "How can you be so sure?" "Because of all the times you could have killed the Knights but you didn't, because you wanted th-- us to live. To learn."

It's a little hard to separate Vera's soulmate from Tundra's champion, but Hamish does it. He's still a Knight, despite whatever feelings he and Vera might share. Both of them are him but not together. Not just yet.

"It's all right to let someone care about you, V." "You--" "You dropped this." Vera stands still as Hamish puts the chain over her own head. How long had he had all his memories? Said nothing? All this time, he'd kept his mouth shut -- was it for her sake? Old guilt creeps back into her.

"Maybe you are selfish, V, but not for all the reasons you think. Your selfish acts are always about protecting other people. Me, Jack, Alyssa, the Knights, the Order. Selfish doesn't mean evil."

"What's he doing here?" "We're not staying." "Yes, we are."

"No, you're not." "It's not safe." "I'm no threat to her."

Hamish really doesn't want to leave Vera alone with Alyssa. But she trusts herself so he'll trust her. Besides that, he still has to save Lilith.

When Hamish returns to the temple, chasing Midnight, Alyssa is dead and Vera is shaking.

"V, it's not your fault." How does he know exactly what she's thinking?

Hamish sets a drink, Vera's drink, in front of her and turns to leave. To give her space. To give her the choice. He drags his hand over hers. Do you want me to stay?

Vera makes no movement other than wrapping her fingers around Hamish's hand and holding fast. Yes.

And as he stands there and the doors to the reliquary closes, he glances down at Vera and realises that bad as things are, they could be worse. Vera tried so many times to push him away, but she's failed every time. And he's incredibly thankful for that.

Vera doesn't have her magic, but she's got all the colours in the world because of Hamish and somehow, that's so much more important to her.

Someone help me I'm Sad™ I wanna write this but like ,,,,, not as a full book because that would make me cry ,,,,, maybe like a nice collection of scenes 0.0 what do you think?

Take a look at other soulmate aus I've chosen to torment myself with

[jakey-beefed-it]

Musing about a potential Ultramarines list under the cut so you can keep scrolling if you don’t give a shit about the gameplay of 40k

Thinking about playing a very gravis-heavy army once I can actually get some games in again, mostly because I fucking love gravis armor. Thinking a couple squads of heavy intercessors (plus one of regular intercessors b/c you gotta have 3 troops) for troops, 3 squads of eradicators for heavy support, 3 squads of aggressors for elites, and 3 squads of not-gravis-but-still-5-toughness outriders for fast attack. HQ would be Marneus Calgar Alexander Titus Maximus and a couple lieutenants I guess; add 2 or 4 Victrix Guard to watch Alex’s back, points/power level allowing. Repulsor Executioner “Praxis” to ferry Alex and the Victrix around, Impulsor for the regular intercessors. Potentially could have the regular Repulsor for a squad of Heavy Intercessors but I think I’ll be using them more as a firebase. Looking at it that’s probably going to be far too many points for far too few models to be remotely competitive but boy will it be fun when it does its thing.

Anyhow I just really like the idea of making this force look as blinged out and elite as possible so it can represent some hardcore veterans hand-picked by Alexander Titus to serve as the spearpoint he leads from the front. It’s got lots of really great firepower in the 30″ or so range, between 5 to 10 regular Bolt Rifles,  10 Heavy Bolt Rifles, 9 Melta Rifles (well, probably 8 and a multi-melta), and all the vehicle-mounted stuff which has a minimum range of 24″ but also at least an 8″ move. Including 9 twin bolt rifles on the 3 squads of bikes. Bolter Drill benefits both kinds of intercessor and all the bikes. Everybody but the lone squad of regular intercessors, 2 lieutenants, and the victrix guard has toughness 5... I think it’s not bad. I mean it’ll get stomped into the dirt by anyone playing a tournament list but it’ll be very good at killing the SHIT out of up to even half of a bleeding edge tournament list before getting tabled, i suspect. Hell, it’s durable enough to take advantage of the Ultramarines’ fall back and shoot at -1 ability against most melee attack units. Like, no, 5 heavy intercessors are not going to survive a dedicated death company blitz, but anything short of that they should have some survivors to fall back and shoot and more importantly let everyone ELSE shoot at the assaulters. The firebase of heavy intercessors and eradicators is resilient as hell, the outriders are great objective grabbers, and there’s enough high-strength weaponry to handle other elite forces well.

The place it would struggle is mostly just against horde armies due to the relatively low number of high-quality shots. Blasting a vertus praetor with a melta rifle for 4 damage is neat, doing the same to an ork boy is just silly amounts of overkill and his 29 friends are going to make you regret it. I can potentially make up for that with some of the choices on the repulsor(s) and through intercessor and outrider bolter drill, but fundamentally the list is really designed to work like breachers basically. Find the strongest point in the enemy line, and obliterate it. If the strongest point in the enemy line turns out to be the 180 hormagaunts ranging ahead of a single neurothrope or smth, it’s gonna be rough.

40k does trend toward rock paper scissors mentality, of which this is basically rock, my craftworlds army is basically scissors, and your default horde army is basically paper. there are exceptions (death company blood angels plays like scissors but will absolutely destroy my ‘rock’ here) but in the broadest sense that understanding is workable. unless you’re both very good at actual gameplay and very current on the meta, you’re not generally able to build and play a proper ‘take ALL comers’ list. I’m not great at the game itself, and covid means it’s been a year since my last games and it’s likely to be months more if not another year before i can start getting in regular games again, so I’ve no fucking clue what the local meta would be like.

But! I also kinda don’t... give a shit about winning, so long as I have fun and my opponent does, too, and I feel like this army is thematic enough to be fun to play and to play against. Strong enough that even if I get trounced, I can pick a ‘secondary objective’ along the lines of ‘Okay... you’re gonna win.... but I’m gonna kill that FUCKING leviathan dreadnought’ and be happy even when I lose.

anyhow if you read this far, thanks, and I’m sorry. if you have any thoughts you’d like to share, please do.

[mz-elysium]

Wow. That was a lot longer than I planned. Do we even do comic sans wip posts anymore? It it cool? Am I cool? 

Photo ID below the cut because this is already way too fucking long of a post. And this ID, bc of it, is so so long.

Photo ID: a 13 slide Comic Sans font powerpoint about an original WIP. All slides but the first are white, black text, all font being Comic Sans to follow the meme.

Slide 1: black background, white text. Titled with red shadow: The City of Fallen Angels: (2) Hitaeth. Definition below: hiraeth: homesickness or nostalgia, an earnest longing for an idealised past, or a sense of regret. Around this title are a bunch of floating descriptors about the WIP: vampires, gothic-punk, regrets vs forgiveness, dark urban fantasy, historical 2003, 4 POVs, secrets, political intrigue, slice of life, compassion vs selfishness, vampires playing Game of Thrones, grimdark and also hopepunk. A Vampire the Masquerade canon divergent original novel.

Slide 2: Worldbuilding, about the Vampire the Masquerade world. Titled: The canon sects but like a little more nuanced. Three columns of bullet points follow. 

The first is the Camarilla. 

neo-feudal lords and princes

rule most of the world

want to rule the rest of it

scheming, old elders who don’t give a shit about anyone else

will kill your family to make a point

BUT ALSO.

stable domains; due process

clan culture, history, tradition

connected to wider vampire society

play their game and you can live as a peaceful peasant (mostly)

The second column is the Anarchs.

rebellious neonates/ancillae

in their Free States, there’s opportunity for power and to live your own life

neonates can actually own land??

ALSO

literal anarchy

no real oversight or leadership

can and will be killed by another gang

“if you can hold it, you can have it”

Third column is the Sabbat

worship Caine as the First Murderer (first vampire)

take “vampire” too literally

inhuman monsters

war cult readying for Armageddon

ALSO

profoundly religious

strict code of honour

accept their inhumanity (no angst)

tight-knit family-like packs

heroes/crusaders for their ppl

Slide 3: Titled: Have a shitty map. A Google map screenshot of Central Los Angeles, with highlighted sections in different colours, clearly done in Paint by a child. Seven sections are highlighted, explained on the next slide.

Slide 4: The lands are divided by the sect who control it.

Anarchs:

Angels Wasteland: remains of the #peaceful Barony of Angels. With Salvador Garcia’s death, it’s a shitshow chaotic warzone. 

Tinseltown: Isaac Abrams, movie baron, just wants to be left alone.

East LA: ruled by loyalists of the Old Guard Anarchs, who are all dead/gone. Sabbat from further east are smelling weakness.

Downtown: technically “no baron” but also nines is baron. Typical Anarchs, shooting each other, living rough, living free. OR ARE THEY???

Camarilla:

The Valley: a praxis backed by legendary elders, who are propelled by faceless masters, using unwilling Prince Barty Vaughn as a pawn

Westside: greedy and ambitious LaCroix goes “hmm. la looks like shit. probably wanna get in on that” and calls up his contact, Therese Voerman and says “yo. u got a barony, huh? wanna be my seneschal?”

“Independent”

Silver Lake: a desperate grab by Monroe and co to build their own “utopia” … sorta like the Anarchs 60yrs ago… and look how THAT went. Monroe ate the last Old Guard Anarch.

Slide 5: Titled: Monroe’s POV, with a subtitle of The Captain. On the left, a photo of half of a man’s face in shadow. He has dark hair, pale skin, blue eyes, and a hard expression. Bullet points describe him as Matthew Monroe, Clan Ventrue, Embraced 1873, Humanity 5, age 28. On the right, a series of bullets describe his POV’s story.

this is a dude drowning in an ocean of Problems and his catchphrase is “I’ll figure it out”

he owes a life debt to the enigmatic powerful archon in the Valley (Jan Pieterzoon), who seems to respect/honour him more than most of LA.

he used to be besties with the Valley Prince (Barty Vaughn), who he can’t trust but seems? the same?

he turned his ghoul and secret love into a vampire (Hawthorne), against her wishes, and now she hates him. monroe: u kno what? that’s fair.

Silver Lake is held together with duct tape. monroe’s right hand (Ashley Swan) is a nightmare and untrustworthy. his people try to kill each other.

he’s got a lot of unresolved trauma/grief/abuse/anger and vampires sort of have “The Beast”, a spirit that haunts them with evil

and oh yeah, LA is about to explode

Slide 6: Titled: Monroe’s supporting characters. Four characters, each of them have a photo, a title, and brief run-on description.

First, a photo of a very pale man with purple eyes and a lock of ice blonde hair. Ashley Swan, the Thorn, Clan Toreador. Monstrously cruel, sarcastic, hedonistic, aggressive, sadistic, can’t be trusted, doesn’t wear shirts. Bisexual transman.

Second, a photo of a dour woman with dark hair. Audrey Hawthorne, the Lovechilde, Clan Ventrue. Blinded by the Embrace, furious, frustrated, grieving, snarky, over accomplished, creative, passionate.

Third, a man in a black suit looking over a ballroom with a crystal chandelier. Jan Pieterzoon, the Kingmaker, Clan Ventrue. 300 year old, archon, elder, sire is Camarilla big-shot, dignified, mysterious, chessmaster, honourable, elite.

Fourth, a man in a dress shirt, sleeve rolled up, hand extended with a cigarette and bloody palm. Barty Vaughn, the Valley Prince, Clan Ventrue. Former Anarch, Prince of San Francisco, now reluctant Prince of LA. Smokes like a chimney, lives to fuck Tremere and have fun.

Slide 7: Titled: Zari’s POV, with a subtitle of The Black Rose. On the left, a photo of a beaming dark-skinned Black woman with bouncy coily black hair. Bullet points describe her as Zari Adeyemi-Swan, Clan Toreador, Embraced 1973, Humanity 6, age 27. On the right, a series of bullets describe her POV’s story.

life sucks, it’s cruel, and there’s no point thinking on the past, even when the past comes to haunt you

she fled her foster sire and once-lover (Ashley Swan) for his cruelty to others, but now he offers maybe?genuine? amends.

thirty years ago, she left her human children. her daughter (Aisha Adeyemi) has been Embraced and brings bad news

her main way of #coping is working and distracting herself. she throws herself to infiltrate the Westside Camarilla court (Sebastian LaCroix), against all good advice.

soon after she arrives, she finds herself having a secret admirer (Mercurio), who reminds her how precious it is to be loved, held, and cared for — but they need to overcome their own instincts to accept what they could have

The Voerman sisters are in the thick of it all, making perfect cautionary allies and, if she can overcome her preconceptions, friends.

and oh yeah, LA is about to explode

Slide 8: Titled: Zari’s supporting characters. Four characters, each of them have a photo, a title, and brief run-on description.

First, a photo of a white man wearing mirrored sunglasses in front of orange-pink neon. It casts his face and smile eerily. Ashley Swan, the Foster Sire, Clan Toreador, monstrously cruel, charismatic, loyal, thorough, too clever, pleasurable. Bi transman.

Second, a photo of a white man in a suit, adjusting his cuffs. Sebastian LaCroix, the Westside Prince, Clan Ventrue, opportunistic benefactor, greedy, ambitious, petulant, ruthless, degrading.

Third, a white man in a paisley shirt, gold necklaces, putting a hand to a tattooed and exposed chest. Mercurio, the Admirer, LaCroix’s Ghoul, resourceful, sweet, empathetic, capable, romantic, salt of the earth, former Mafia hitman.

Fourth, a white woman in a black suit with delicate gold jewelry. The Voermans, the Mirrored Sisters, Clan Malkavian; one is brutal, calculating, patient, reckless, the other is seductive, fun-loving, innovative, insightful.

Slide 9: Titled: Charlie’s POV, with a subtitle of The Moonchilde. In small text, a line says “a.k.a. Me processing grief over my mother #coping. On the left, a photo of a sad-faced white woman with freckles, black eyeliner, and frizzy brown curls. Bullet points describe her as Charlie Bradley, Clan Malkavian, Embraced 2003, Humanity 8, age 20, lesbian. On the right, a series of bullets describe her POV’s story.

life is getting back to normal? well, “new normal”

as a new adult, she has a good ol’ fashioned “start of life” crisis: who am I? where do I fit in? complicated by her mother’s death a year ago. what sort of woman am I? how does this figure into my attraction to women?

maybe. maybe. maybe monroe is cold and distant and ruling a vampire kingdom, but he wants to look after me. maybe i should let him.

also, hey, you (Jesse Harper) get it. and you’re hurting. let me help, let me be your soft place to land. wow, okay, this is kissing.

she didn’t mean to ruin her sire’s (Rhys Wilson) life. but, she did. she killed his mentor. SHHH! secret! she feel bad. maybe friends? uh, okay, weirdo. maybe D&D.

she’s learning to deal with feeding on scumbags and giving what people got coming to them. and the Cobweb, supernatural psychosis

WHY ARE VAMPIRES LIKE THIS? WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? FFS

and oh yeah, LA is about to explode

Slide 10: Titled: Charlie’s supporting characters. Three characters, each of them have a photo, a title, and brief run-on description.

First, a white man in the middle of screaming, his head swaying back and forth so it looks like he has three heads. Rhys Wilson, the Sire, Clan Malkavian, weirdo, prime D&D fanatic and DM, just wants friends, and vengeance, pulls pranks to teach lessons. Gay.

Second, a very strong white woman with her arms crossed, a tattoo on one, and a t-shirt that is obscured but clearly says “The future is female”. Jesse Harper, the Darkness, Clan Lasombra, former vampire hunter, reluctant vampire, brooding, mysterious, sullen, black trench coat, buff as fuck, brave. Lesbian.

Third, a pair of clasped hands, male over female. Monroe, the Stepsire, Clan Ventrue, fucking old, inhuman, kills too easily, sincere, honourable, intense, gives good advice but really should shut his mouth hole.

Slide 11: Titled: Jack’s POV, with a subtitle of The Lone Wolf. On the left, a photo of a sad-faced strong Chinese man with a shaggy and tufted mullet. Bullet points describe him as Jack Shen, Clan Gangrel, Embraced 1955, Humanity 7, age 25, gay. On the right, a series of bullets describe his POV’s story.

why does he always end up alone? people leave, people die, people drift and change, but the good times were worth it

he’s always had a rocky relationship with his lover (Ryuko Saito), but now the dumbass has found a cult promising power.

he hasn’t lost him. he hasn’t. him and ryu just take time apart sometimes. but it’s been a long fucking while. and jack isn’t sure who he is alone anymore. a new human friend (Dustin Cohen), working at his animal hospital gives new life.

his former best friend (Damsel) has dove deep into Downtown and managing as Nines’ lieutenant, bringing him more and more dirty work to clean up

monroe relies on him to reign in the chaos of vampires trying to live without killing each other.

and oh yeah, LA is about to explode

Slide 12: Titled: Jack’s supporting characters. Three characters, each of them have a photo, a title, and brief run-on description.

First, a young white woman with dyed fire-engine red hair and an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Damsel, the Lieutenant, Clan Brujah, naive, brash, physical, loyal, loud-mouthed, smart.

Second, a skinny man in an ill-fitting Hawaiian shirt and jeans. Ryuko Saito, the Orphan, Mage, power-hungry, desperate, proud, ruthless, loving, isolated, crushingly lonely, gremlin, old and chronic pain, hides and “treats” it with magic.

Third, a white hand extending a hummingbird to fly free. Dustin Cohen, the Receptionist, Human, understanding, the best of Good Dudes, empathetic, kinda lame outsider

Slide 13: Titled: also. A moodboard on the right side includes two weeping stone angels, one at sunset, one in darkness between a tarnished and broken silver crown; a gas station in LA as seen through a rainy car window; grim-looking downtown city buildings; and a sidewalk curb with neon lights reflecting off a puddle and a plastic bag of takeout garbage strewn across.

On the left, bullet points follow.

about 100 million other characters. I legit have a spreadsheet

Everyone is capable of evil

Sins of the sire (father)

Never too late to start being a good person

Takes place  about 6 months before Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines

At least one more novel in the works

Subheading, 22/55 chapters written. Gonna start posting September 28.

End ID.

[bthenoise]

We’re Starting To Lose It So We Made A Fake Music Award Show To Remember The Quarantine By

We are losing our minds and we aren’t talking figuratively like The Pixies. Every morning waking up in quarantine feels like an episode of Punk’d. 

Where is Aston Kutcher -- oh right, it’s 2020 -- Where is Chance The Rapper? we ask ourselves as we peel ourselves out of bed for what feels like the millionth time.   

Seriously, though. We know you guys are feeling the same way too. We read the tweets. We see the TikToks. Ya’ll are losing your goddamn minds just like us. 

The good thing is, to help with this sense of craziness as best as we possibly can (which isn’t saying much, we aren’t doctors after all -- shout out to all the amazing medical teams out there!) we have constructed the first and hopefully last 2020 Noise Quarantine Awards.

Featuring highly coveted awards such as Best Soundtrack To Fuel Your Hatred For The Government and Best Song To Steal Toilet Paper To, the awards below are meant to shine a light on all the positive things to come out of 2020. 

We know it sounds like an impossible task to put “2020″ and “postive” in the same sentence but somehow we did it. 

Check out the awards below.   

Fantastic Features Award

Silverstein - A Beautiful Place To Drown

Honestly, there are probably about ten different awards we could give Silverstein’s sensational LP A Beautiful Place To Drown. From start to finish, this is hands down one of the band’s best albums yet. However, for the sake of this very serious and very made-up award show, we are happy to present the scene staples with the Fantastic Features Award. 

Not only did the band include familiar favorites such as Beartooth’s Caleb Shomo, Simple Plan’s Pierre Bouvier and Underoath’s Aaron Gillespie, but they also went out of their way to include other artists such as emerging rapper Princess Nokia and Intervals’ guitarist Aaron Marshall. Now if that doesn’t deserve an award, we don’t know what does.  

Back Off Pit Daddies Cause This Song Slaps Award

A Day To Remember - “Mindreader”

But there’s no breakdown! How am I supposed to mosh to this? Would you quit your whining? It’s pretty much impossible for A Day To Remember to write a bad song. And sorry to break it to you pit warriors, they definitely didn’t start with their newest track “Mindreader.

Best Album To Eventually Soundtrack The Next Matrix Movie

Code Orange - Underneath 

Does this one really come as a surprise? Essentially creating their own genre of technology-influenced metalcore (computer core, maybe?), Code Orange’s Underneath is the perfect soundtrack to any type of action-packed, dark web-based, sci-fi thriller like The Matrix trilogy. Now would you like the red pill or the blue pill?  

The Welcome Back, We Fuckin’ Missed You Award

The Ghost Inside - “Aftermath”

A world without new music from The Ghost Inside is a world we don’t want any part of. Thankfully, for the first time since their tragic bus crash back in 2015, the metalcore maestros have returned with the hard-hitting and incredibly emotional track “Aftermath” taken from their soon-to-be-released self-titled album. So for that, the least we could do is present the band with the Welcome Back, We Fuckin’ Missed You Award.  

Honorable Mention: D.R.U.G.S (aka Craig Owens) - “King I Am”

Best Song To Listen To On Repeat And Realize You Successfully Killed Two And A Half Hours Of Your Quarantine

Loathe - “Screaming”

There is nothing made up about this whatsoever. We seriously thank Loathe for creating mind-altering music that transports you to a new dimension.  “Screaming” is a gem and the band deserves to be awarded for it. Oh, and also, I Let It In And It Took Everything is an amazing record everyone needs to hear ASAP.

Best Album To Get Drunk And Talk About Your Feelings To

Violent Soho - Everything Is A-OK

We’re not sure exactly what it is about Australia’s Violent Soho but they always seem to bring the deepest and darkest emotions out of us. Their latest LP Everything Is A-OK is no different. From track one to track ten, the band’s first new album since 2016 is an emotional magnet attracting feeling after feeling leaving us desperate for a drinking buddy and a good cry.

The If It Ain’t Broke Don’t Fix It Award

August Burns Red - Guardians

August Burns Red has been a prominent staple of the heavy music scene for years. Since bursting out of Lancaster, PA with 2005′s Thrill Seeker, the two-time Grammy-nominated act has been a constant source of inspiration with their bruising, top-notch musicianship. Fifteen years later, with the release of their ninth studio album Guardians, the metalcore vets are still as heavy and hard-hitting as ever deserving of our If It Ain’t Broke Don’t Fix It Award.   

Best Album To Eventually Soundtrack The Next Season Of Black Mirror

Enter Shikari - Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible

Enter Shikari is easily one of the most unpredictable bands in our scene. One minute you think you have them and their eclectic sound pinned down, then the next they release their genre-shattering LP Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible. With cinematic twists and turns from the rock-oriented opener “THE GREAT UNKNOWN” to the cosmic tornado that is “{ The Dreamer’s Hotel }” and circus-themed “Waltzing Off The Face Of The Earth,” Enter Shikari’s spellbinding LP is a perfect fit for something just as fascinating as the next season of Netflix’s Black Mirror.

Best Album To Get Your Medical Degree To

Vermicide Violence - The Praxis Of Prophylaxis 

We understand it’s not easy to comprehend deathcore lyrics. However, if you’re in need of a good study buddy while you prepare for the boards, look no further than Jarrod Alonge’s new parody album The Praxis Of Prophylaxis. Covering high-end medical topics such as vaccines, gingivitis, asthma and more, Vermicide Violence’s new LP is sure to help a lot more than those Grey’s Anatomy re-runs.    

The Tasmanian Devil Award

Rotting Out - Ronin

The Tasmanian Devil award is a highly coveted prize (possibly one of our most coveted) given to the album with hands down the most circle-pit-inducing tracks. While there have been some pretty good options this year, the record that stands out the most is Rotting Out’s first new album in over seven years, Ronin. Without going too far into detail -- because honestly, it’s pretty obvious why we picked this record -- if you’re able to stand still while listening to these fiery ass songs, you’re probably a cop.

Best Album To Get Drunk And Talk About Your Feelings To Part Two

Spanish Love Songs - Brave Faces, Everyone

Really? You’re gonna complain we used the same category twice in a made-up award show only created cause we’re stuck living fucking Groundhog Day over and over again? Instead, how about you put that same energy into enjoying Spanish Love Songs’ brilliant, tear-jerking album Brave Faces, Everyone. You won’t regret it.

Best Soundtrack To Fuel Your Hatred For The Government

Anti-Flag - 20/20 Vision

Regardless of if you’re really into politics or not, it’s practically impossible at this point to not swear at our so-called “leaders” up in Washington DC. So if you’re looking for the best album to fuel your hatred for the Head Cheeto In Charge and all his helpless minions, look no further than Anti-Flag’s powerful 20/20 Vision.

Honorable Mention: The Homeless Gospel Choir - This Land Is Your Landfill

The Album Most Likely To Get You Out Of Mosh Pit Retirement

Polaris - The Death Of Me

This record is the definition of “slaps.” From beginning to end, Polaris’ punishing new album The Death Of Me is a heavy-duty rollercoaster ride that will leave you with a melted off face and an endless desire to jump back in the pit and crack a few skulls.  

Best Album To Rip A Phat Riff To

Hot Mulligan - You’ll Be Fine

Hot Mulligan are a bunch of jokesters but there’s nothing funny about their new album You’ll Be Fine -- alright, maybe a few of the song titles are a little silly. The band’s latest release is a guitarist’s delight with ringing mathcore-like riffs that will leave you both jubilant and jealous. Case in point, give the infectious opener “OG Bule Sky” a spin and get back to us.   

Honestly, Fight Us, This Song Is A Bop Award

All Time Low feat Blackbear - “Monsters”

We know what some of you cool cats and kittens are thinking: But this isn’t pop-punk!? Since when does Blackbear get a scene pass? Listen up. No, this song isn’t “Dear Maria, Count Me In” but who cares? It’s 2020 and musical genres are dead. Enjoy the good music while you can before we’re all dead too, okay?

Honorable mention: PVRIS - “Deadweight”

Best Song To Steal Toilet Paper To

The Chats - “Drunk N Disorderly”

If you haven’t had the fear of potentially wiping your ass with a washcloth over the last few months, this award probably isn’t for you and your 30 extra rolls of toilet paper. However, for us regular folk who have a limited supply of TP, The Chats’ fast-paced High Risk Behavior track “Drunk N Disorderly” is the perfect song for stumbling into someone’s home and swiping a roll or two.  

Wow We Didn’t See That Coming Award

Falling In Reverse - “The Drug In Me Is Reimagined”

Ronnie Radke has never been afraid to push boundaries musically. Whether it’s rapping on a track or dropping an upbeat, synth-laced single like “Bad Girls Club,” the former Escape The Fate frontman always seems to have something new up his sleeve. This year, to help celebrate 2011′s The Drug In Me Is You becoming gold-certified, Radke and Co. released an epic piano-lead version of their fan-favorite title track. The results? A majestic dream-like experience worth repeating over and over again.

If You Hurt Mother Earth One More Time We Swear You’re Dead Award 

In Hearts Wake - “Worldwide Suicide”

There’s been a lot of talk about global warming over the past few years. Recently, while we’ve all been stuck at home, skies have become clearer than ever as wild animals roam the barren streets. This is a dream come true for earth-friendly metalcore act In Hearts Wake. 

Now as some cities start to reopen, let us remind you: If you even think about going back to your wasteful, pollution-heavy ways, we and In Hearts Wake will come for you with the same force and brutality as heard on their newest track “Worldwide Suicide.” Watch your back.

Sure It’s Different But Still Kicks Ass Award

The Used - Heartwork

This isn’t The Used you knew in junior high. Bert McCrackin and Co. have returned with a fresh-faced 2020 LP that is sure to make you feel some type of way. Featuring guest appearances from members of Blink-182, FEVER 333 and Beartooth, The Used’s latest is a heavy-yet-dancy addition to their beloved-and-never-stale catalog.  

Better Not Sleep On This Record Award

Charmer - Ivy

Look, you literally have nothing but time on your hands. Why not spend it discovering new music from bands who deserve your attention? Seriously, turn off Love Is Blind and Too Hot To Handle and give Charmer’s moody 11-track release Ivy a try. You can thank us later.

Honorable Mention: Big Loser - Love You, Barely Living

Holy Shit We Can’t Believe That Just Happened Award

Dance Gavin Dance - “Calentamiento Global”

Four words we’ve all been thinking since Dance Gavin Dance dropped their highly anticipated album Afterburner: Tilian can speak Spanish!?

Giving the entire Swancore community a jaw-dropping moment with their new experimental track “Calentamiento Global,” in the song, DGD’s brawny frontman shows a little latin flavor with lyrics like “Te adoro, mi reina. Eres la única que veo.” Unsurprisingly, like most Dance Gavin Dance (or should we say Baile Gavin Baile) experiments, the post-hardcore act totally nailed it. 

The Back To Basics Award

The Amity Affliction - Everyone Loves You... Once You Leave Them

The Amity Affliction caught a lot of flack for their experimental 2018 release Misery. While entirely unwarranted as the metalcore vets were just looking to expand their sound, for their 2020 LP Everyone Loves You... Once You Leave Them, the Aussie outfit returned to form with their breakdown-heavy musicianship and brooding lyricism. Still have doubts? How about you give “All My Friends Are Dead” a spin or two.  

Skankin’ Pickle Award

Skatune Network - Ska Goes Emo, Vol. 1

Here’s a fun one. Adding to the list of things we never thought we’d see in 2020, go ahead and add a ska record covering some of your emo favs like My Chemical Romance, Paramore and Blink-182. Already known for his creative covers, Skatune Network really outdid himself this time around with his Ska Goes Emo LP. Who would have guessed you could skank so well to “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)?” 

The 2020 Glow-Up Award

The Word Alive - Monomania

The Word Alive has seen a lot of change over the course of their ten-year career. From 2010′s hard-hitting album Deceiver to this year’s impressive LP Monomania, the band has really grown into who they are today. For the first time, instead of putting out the music they’re expected to release, the Arizona act really stepped out of their comfort zone and dropped the music they wanted to make resulting in one of this year’s freshest and best so far.

Chocolate Covered Cranberries Award

Four Year Strong - Brain Games

For five long grueling years, we went without new music from easycore noisemakers Four Year Strong. This February, that all changed with the release of the band’s killer seventh studio album Brain Pain. Bringing the guitar-lead heaviness fans have come to love over the years along with their infectious pop-punk-leaning songwriting, Four Year Strong’s new record is the perfect balance of sour and sweet -- like chocolate covered cranberries! Who’s hungry?    

[fangzeronos]

Mystic Force: Dark Age

The Kingdom of Aytolis stood glimmering in the midsummer sun. The inner walls were bustling with activity, while guards patrolled the outer walls, all wary about incoming attacks or threats. The kingdom was ruled by its Queen, Marlis, and protected by the Knights, led by the Wolf Knight, Kalmus. Guarding the inner walls and city of the Kingdom, however, were Queen Marlis’ personal mages, five men and women that commanded the elements themselves. Walking into the war room, Marlis smiled as she observed the bustle. “How goes things this day?” she asked, walking over to the man in red. “Your Majesty,” the Red Mage said, bowing his head. “You grace us with your presence. Reports are scarce today. Trilia’s reports from the winds say there are clouds on the horizon, moving this way at a remarkable pace, but she doesn’t know what they are or if they’re storm or other entities.” “Keep me informed, Praxis,” Marlis said with a smile, placing her hand on the mage’s shoulder. “Have you seen my daughter?” “Princess Yelena? The last I observed of her, your majesty, she was going with Corran to the kitchens. That was about an hour ago,” Praxis said with a gentle smile. “You know how she is when she gets with Corran. Both of those girls lose track of time. Especially when we need Corran’s expertise here for her aqueous reports.” Marlis laughed, smiling softly. “I do understand those two. Being the youngest, they do get on like a forest and your element, old friend.” “That they do, your majesty,” Praxis said with a smile. He reached into his robe and grabbed his wand, a crooked and worn piece of wood with his symbol of a Phoenix on the tip. He formed a firebird, holding his arm out and petting its head gently. “Find Corran and the Princess. Report directly back.” The bird sang out, lifting off and flying out of the war room on its mission. Marlis looked around, watching the other Mages. Trilia, the mage of Wind, sat meditating in a corner, her legs drawn under her as she floated in the air with her powers, serenity on her face. Thrane, the mage of Lightning, stood looking over maps, his eyes focused as he kept searching for ways to protect the castle and kingdom more then it already was. Last, the Queen’s eyes drifted to Granix, the mage of forest. He was pouring over a book like he was trying to read between pages. The sound of a bird filled the room, the flaming phoenix landing on table in front of Praxis. “Master Praxis, I have located Princess Yelena and Corran. They’re in the stables with the equine tamers. Both girls are in rather high spirits.” “Thank you, my phoenix,” Praxis said, waving his hand and dismissing the living fire. “Your Majesty.” “I heard, Praxis,” Marlis said with a small smile. “I’ll take Kalmus and find them.” “Yes, your majesty,” Praxis said, bowing his head. Marlis walked out, heading for the other side of the castle to find Kalmus. She bowed her head to the servants and other workers, smiling as she did. It was no secret that people tried to say Marlis wasn’t a good queen due to no king, but it never slowed the Queen down. Nearly in her mid-forties, the Queen was still and quick and spry as she was in her youth. Having her daughter never slowed her down, not in life or the training she undertook with both Kalmus and the Mages. A door opened, a man in armor walking out and nearly stumbling into the Queen. “Your majesty!” Kalmus said with a start, stepping back and bowing his head. “My apologies, my lady. I was not observing where I was going.” “Kalmus, please. You know you can just call me Marlis. We have known each other all of our lives, my darling,” the queen said with a smirk. “Not to mention the trouble we got into in our youth, or do you forget that?” Kalmus chuckled, shaking his head. “No, Marlis, I do not forget. I remember one particular summer night nineteen years ago more than most, however.” Marlis blushed, her hands over her stomach. “You said we should never speak of that night. Saying the by-product of it was my late king’s,” she said, looking at Kalmus with regret in her eyes. “A lie we must keep for her sake.” “Do you want to keep it, my dear?” Kalmus asked, putting his hand on Marlis’ arm. “I don’t think we can for much longer.” “I know,” Marlis sighed, looking away and backing up. “Come with me. We must retrieve her and Corran from the stables.” “Of course, we do,” Kalmus said, shaking his head. He knew Marlis changing the subject was a way to dodge the topic of conversation, and he knew they’d have to address it one day. He followed beside Marlis, his hand resting on his sword. Making their way toward the stables, the pair heard the two girls giggling and laughing, Yelena’s voice carrying louder than Corran’s. Marlis cleared her throat, cocking an eyebrow. Yelena and Corran yelped and jumped, the pink mage standing in front of her princess and friend with her wand out. “Mother!” Yelena said, putting her hand on Corran’s arm. “Your majesty! Lord Kalmus!” Corran squeaked, bowing quickly. “What are you two doing, daughter?” Marlis asked. Yelena bit her lip, looking down. “We were in the kitchens when one of the cooks said the riders were bringing in new bucks and mares to break for the Guard. I wanted to observe, and Corran said she’d come with me to protect me if something happened. I didn’t think you’d mind, Mother. I wasn’t far from protection.” Marlis sighed, pinching her nose. “Yelena, you know why I you within eyesight of a guard at nearly all times. Corran missed a meeting because she was with you.” “Oh, no! The Council meeting! Praxis is going to have my hide for sure this time!” Corran said, her eyes wide. The sound of lightning filled the air, an eagle made of lightning coming to rest on Corran’s arm. “Your Majesties, Lord Kalmus, Corran. Return to the Castle at once. Trilia uncovered something, and the clouds have shifted.” “One moment, Thrane,” the Pink Mage said. Corran threw her arm out, forming a water nymph from a trough and sending it off.  It returned a moment later, bowing her head and disappearing. “He’s right. The winds have changed. We don’t have long.” The lightning eagle disappeared, Marlis nodded. “Then let’s get back,” she said, looking at her daughter. The four headed back to the castle as quickly as they could, but as they approached the doors, dark clouds surrounded the castle, Kalmus stepping in front of Marlis and Yelena. Lightning struck the ground, a figure walking out surrounded by three others. “Halt. Speak your name!” Kalmus said. The woman in front laughed, large butterfly wings sprouting from her back. “I am Amaranth. I am claiming this Kingdom as mine, and you, dearest Wolf Knight, are not to stand in my way.” Kalmus growled, narrowing his eyes. “My queen, Princess, Corran. Run. I will hold off these four.” “Kalmus,” Marlis said, putting her hand on his shoulder. She turned him to face her, leaning up and kissing him softly. “Be safe, my love.” “I will,” Kalmus said, nudging Marlis behind him again. The younger of the women around Amaranth giggled, shaking her head. “So cocky in your abilities, Wolf Knight. You can’t compete with us,” she giggled, bouncing on her feet. “Silvaria,” the third said, shaking her head. “You are insufferable, child.” “Oh, lighten up, Dahlia. I’m just having some fun with my food,” Silvaria giggled, her eyes scanning Kalmus. “Enough,” Kalmus said, narrowing his eyes as he drew his sword. Marlis took her daughter’s hand, running through the castle toward the war room. “Mages! Something has invaded the Castle. Prepare the final defenses.” “Majesty, if we implement those defenses, you know the outcome,” Granix said, stepping forward. “You know what will happen.” “I do, loyal Granix,” Marlis said, the castle shaking as a blast rocked the walls. “But, it is what needs to be done.” “Yes, ma’am,” Praxis said. “Lady Yelena, with us.” “Mother—” Yelena said, taking her mother’s hands. “Mother, please. What’s happening?” Marlis smiled softly, taking a wand topped with a snowflake out of her dress and pressed it to her daughter’s hands. “You are the future of Aytolis, my daughter. I love you. Your father and I will watch over you, in this life and the next.” “Father? But I don’t understand, Mother. What is going on?” Yelena asked, tears falling down her cheeks as part of the roof was knocked in, jumping and flinching close to her mother. “Jinaos wasn’t your father. Kalmus is. I had you when I was short of your age, my love. I’m so sorry we didn’t tell you before this. We hoped…we’d have more time,” Marlis said. “Go with the Mages. They’ll protect you. I have one last task to accomplish.” “Mother!” Yelena yelled, Praxis and Thrane grabbing her and leading her away. “MOTHER!!” “Goodbye, my darling snow plum,” Marlis said, hearing the wall slide closed and Yelena’s screams dying off. She turned as the wall collapsed, Kalmus being thrown down by Amaranth and Dahlia. She knelt beside her lover, her hand on his chest as she tried to stop him getting up. “Queen Marlis. You should have just surrendered in the courtyard. Would have made this a lot easier, my dear,” Amaranth said, cocking her head to the side. Marlis smiled, turning her stare to Amaranth. “You underestimate me, Amaranth. I was trained in magic. Your ilk will never get your hands on Aytolis.” She held her hands out, a glow surrounding her as she chanted an ancient incantation. “What are you doing?!” Amaranth snarled, rushing for Marlis. Before the butterfly-styled witch could hit the Queen, the war room exploded, the four would-be conquering witches being sealed away, the Queen giving her life to save the kingdom. Deep in the catacombs as dust fell from the sieges above, Praxis helped Yelena onto a stone table, taking her hands. “Your mother asked us, my Princess, that in the event of an attack that would doom the Kingdom, we were to lock you away in a sort of eternal slumber until the time to rise was upon you. You will sleep, and when you wake, you will still be the same as you are now, just in a new time.” “Praxis, please. You have to save my mother,” Yelena said, her hands shaking as she clutched the wand from her mother. “Please…” “There is nothing more to do for Marlis, my dear,” Trilia said, sitting beside Yelena. “The spell must be woven quickly, before those four find us down here and kill you.” Corran knelt down and hugged Yelena, closing her eyes. “Goodbye, Princess. It was an honor knowing you,” she said softly. “The honor is mine, Corran,” Yelena said softly, hugging the youngest mage back and trying to fight tears. “Brothers, sisters. Your wands,” Praxis said, holding his hands out. He gathered the five wands, each topped with their Mages’ respective symbol, placing them in Yelena’s hands. “Find the Champions that will push this darkness away for good. You must believe in yourself, Princess.” Yelena nodded, clutching the wands as she watched the five Mages gather around the stone slab. As they began chanting, their bodies glowed with energy, colored to match the elements themselves before they swirled and surrounded Yelena’s body, encasing her in a glass tomb until the day she was to wake. A thousand years passed, and Aytolis was remembered only in myth and legend. Some speculated that it was a fairy tale, taught to children to teach them a lesson. Some believed it existed. Soon, all would be put to the test as Yelena’s story is about to unfold.

This is a prequel to an RPG I’m doing on another site. I wanted to fill in the backstory some before I started the game and I’m happy with how this turned out. :D

[counterclckwise]

Icon of Your Muse:

What is Your Muse’s Blood Type:   Standard type-A circulatory oil. How do You think Your Muse Handles Rejection?:   No better than his big brother in this regard-- he waffles between self-pity and self-blame when it happens, though he will eventually settle on something logical or surprisingly mature when the initial shock is gone. What Makes Your Muse Jealous?:   His jealousy of his original and his relationship with his brother has been tamed, but it’s still there. What’s a Bad Habit Your Muse has?:   Gratuitous Japanese when speaking English, which is particularly stupid when one recalls that he literally has a Japanese setting he can switch on if he wants. A Prized Possession of Your Muse:   Only in memory files. Any Medical Conditions?:   Rewind survived hosting a space-time anomaly in his chest for a shockingly long time, and no longer afflicts him. So not anymore.

~Questions for the Muse to Answer~

What’s Your Favorite Color:   “Light blue!” What’s Your Favorite Food:   “Miso ramen, with extra pork and egg!” Skiing or Snow Boarding?:   “Snow boarding, I guess! I should probably get out more...” Worst Injury You Ever Got?:   “Um.” Early Riser or Sleep in?:   “Neither one, to be honest? Maybe it’s just leftovers from Time’s habits, but I prefer to wake up right on time.” Video Games or Books?:   “Ooh! Video games! Fantasy RPGs and RTSes are my favourites!” Something that Makes you Cry?:   “I’m gonna call that a bit personal for this quiz.” Someone You Hate? Why?:   “... I don’t really hate him anymore. It was wrong of me.” Phobias:   “I was a walking existential horror for a solid few years, I’m beyond being actually genuinely afraid of anything anymore.” Favorite Soda?:   “Ramune! I’m partial to the bubble gum-flavoured one.” Favorite Drink in General?:   “A good shake is always nice!” What did you have for Breakfast?:   “Steamed rice and miso soup!” Song you are listening to right now?:   “The current My Hero Academia OP. Ooh, I’m so pumped for the next episode on Saturday!” Worst Job Ever?:   “Ehh...” Best Job Ever?:   “I wouldn’t want a research job like my original has. I think I’d rather dip a little more into praxis than theory, you know? Maybe I could stream experiments or otherwise showing what my abilities can do to a wider audience. I want to teach and entertain in general, actually, I think it’d be a good use for me. But I’d have to be accepted into regular society first... ...so small, anonymous YouTube anime channel it is.” Ever Been thrown out a Window? Why?:   “Nope. I’ve seen other people get thrown out windows, though.” Do You Regret what You’ve Done?:   “I have stuff I’m not proud of in my history. A lot of it. But none of it is stuff I can’t take back, I think. Just... deal with.” Any Roommates?:   “My siblings, the rest of the DWNs. And the other kids Wily-sama has.”

~Choose Between~

Dogs, Cats, or Both:   “Nyaah!~” C4 or Dynamite:   “Dynamite!” Catch Phrase or One Liners:   “I like catchphrases, honestly. There’s merit in having a phrase people associate with you!” Day or Night:   “Both? Hmm... I dunno, it just kinda doesn’t matter to me.” Star Wars or Star Trek:   “No.” Cake or Pie:   “Pie!” Zombies or Vampires?:   “Admittedly, there’s less good zombie anime than there is vampire anime. I guess ‘cause zombies don’t really lend themselves to the style all that well. I like zombies, though.”

[pathfindersemail]

A personal update

it’s a not-so-fictional account of what I’ve been up to. Read below the cut.

Warnings: lots of problematic, like bullshit drama I’ve been dealing with

Philadelphia is a city that likes to hide how old it is. One can see it in the peeling paint of those stucco houses, lined up and bunched up along narrow streets once named after trees. A quiet stroll through Osage is Idyllic enough, but ask around, and you won’t have trouble finding someone whose ears are still ringing from the bombs.  

It is a quiet enough city. One could write in it, in fact. I have had more time writing than I ever did, and I spend much of it doing so – essays, annotations, assignments, and conferences. If three hundred years ago, across the Atlantic, we as a people once witnessed the “republic of letters,” then one could say now is the era of corporatized letters: a series of professionalisms, click-bait polemics, and cold, dry musings. This isn’t to say that previous epochs had more authenticity or some sort of “real” intellectual engagement compared to us. Whatever alienation I may feel in this time of “writerly production” perhaps isn’t a sign of “changing times” so much as it is a sign of what profession I undertook and how knee-deep I am in a rigid, capitalist structure.

But the “saving grace” of course (and your parents will tell you this; your professors, your neighbors, your well-intentioned liberal friends) is that you live in a nice house while sitting on a nice porch, drinking your own brand of coffee, and typing away on a laptop with parts and plastic taken out of the Congo some months before. One could almost forget the life sucking labor of typing – key by key – some halfhearted argument about whatever it is we’re fetishizing for the week, so long as libations flow. Your colleagues will celebrate this cycle, in fact. They love gentrification. They love being able to drink artisanal beer (if that’s a thing) for less than $6 – a cost-effective strategy that throws the poorer groceries, housing projects, and markets under the steamroller. More importantly, they love being able to walk around West Philly at night, because neon lights and open-air pop shops are much safer (so I’m told) than down trodden stoops.

Of course, all these things are okay, because – you must understand – a lot of them think they’re saving the world. I’m sure Chaucer could have been a progressive had he been a twenty-first rather than fourteenth-century figure. Or, interestingly enough, grasping around in the dark for some obscure metaphor as your “theoretical praxis” is the “mode” nowadays. Either way, we will save the world with all this work, some day. And when an older academic throws around phrases like “our work is important,” no one in the room ever bothers to qualify that statement so that people take it as “our work could be important” and not inherently so.

I walk the streets with my friend. He recommends for me to go with my boyfriend to some fancy restaurant. I look at him, and I want to tell him that I am looking at him more than I should; later that night I will have a fight with my boyfriend about why – maybe – we should break up, but it will end with us realizing that we aren’t quite ready to do so yet; and the cycle will cycle on; and I will see my friend the next day, and I will look at him and wonder whatever it was I was thinking that night.

Instead I open up my word document, type away for the next half hour or so, and then I cajole about on my porch. I would smoke, but I just quit. Talking feels like a chore too, but at least Philly is the type of city that lets you get away from that, at least a little bit. I wave a hello to my hair dresser across the street. I think she secretly hates me, so I start looking for other hair dressers (she’s a very good stylist though); but a part of me wonders if I am just being paranoid, and I risk inconveniencing both ourselves by looking for another hair dresser 20 minutes away.  

At this point, I can’t wait for the next social engagement. It is a week away. Free booze and lots of dancing. I have no time for such things, but it is the only time I’m able to not regret my decision to move; and to flirt with my friend; and muster up just a little more courage to break up with my boyfriend. I’m not exactly sure where either directions are going, but at this point I’d be happy to be left alone.

The trellis on my porch is beautiful. It has no vines or ivy to boast, but I’m sure in its many years life once crawled around its diamond-shaped holes. Soot and rain mark up what would have been an anemic coating of eggshell white. I place my bright, polka dotted umbrella next to it. Neon colors puking about. Then I sit back, and contemplate some more.

[ohhmydyosfics]

Smut

(Kaisoo) A Slip Of Heat- When Kyungsoo thought he had a firm grip of his heart, an omega struts back to his life to prove him wrong.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11354355

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(Kaisoo) Angles- In which Kyungsoo has to cope with the absence of the man he worships.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3874132

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(Kaisoo) Not Just In Fairy Tales- Kyungsoo strokes Jongin’s throat with the back of his hand, so much affection in his gaze and his voice, “You want to be mine?” Jongin swallows and nods, his eyes flicking up to the crude words. “You want to be my needy little kitten?” Another nod. “Is it weird?” “No, Jongin,” Kyungsoo can’t help his smile, “I want that, too.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9445076

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(Kaisoo) Demonic Domesticity and Other Signs of the Apocalypse- Kyungsoo should have left town. Demons should not be this cute. Holy Water probably shouldn't be made in toilets, but they're all things that happen, anyway.

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/exogeddon_fest/works/11819937?view_adult=true

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(Kaisoo) When the Lights Fade Out (All the Sinners Crawl) [1/2]- Jongin always knew his crush on Do Kyungsoo would get him in trouble.

http://forkadionly.livejournal.com/10780.html

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(Kaisoo) Young and Beautiful- Everyone knew who Kyungsoo was, but no one had ever seen him in person

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1203523/young-and-beautiful-pwp-kai-kyungsoo-kaisoo-topsoo

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(Kai x Everyone)Such a Tease  -It starts off as a game because Jongin gets bored easily. He decides that it’ll be fun to see if he can get the other members of Exo riled up, simply because he’s got nothing better to do in the spare time between being carted around from interviews to variety shows, radio shows to photoshoots, fan signings to music shows and whatever else their manager decides to subject them to.

http://wild-jinx.livejournal.com/634.html

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(Xiukai) One Size (Does Not Fit All)- There’s a reason they call it being in Heat, and Jongin feels like he’s burning up from the inside.

http://forjongin.livejournal.com/15329.html

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(Kaisoo) Your New Addiction- Kyungsoo is a werewolf with too much energy to sleep.  Jongin just might be the perfect solution.

http://kaisooficrec.livejournal.com/10816.html

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(Sukai) home is where the heart is (and where pants are optional)- living with jongin is better than junmyeon could've ever imagined.

http://foudroyantfear.livejournal.com/15039.html

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(Kaisoo) Sweet Like Sugar- Jongin delivers Chinese food to a nice neighbourhood and gets the tip of his life. 

http://kaisooficrec.livejournal.com/14631.html

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(Kaibaek) EXO - in my own little corner (in my own little chair)- Jongin would like to just once get through his charms homework without ending up in the room of requirement

http://townofashes.livejournal.com/3299.html

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(slut Kai) Insert Tab A into Slot B and Get Sucked- There is a glory hole. There is Kai. There is word vomit.

http://sadatelcontar.livejournal.com/50855.html

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(Kaisoo) 3rd Arabesque- Kyungsoo and Jongin attend the same ballet class. Amidst all the pirouettes and rond de jambs, Kyungsoo realizes that Jongin has a thing or two he could improve when it comes to his pliés, and the problem may or may not be able to be fixed with the help of a tutu.

http://annafeu.livejournal.com/2698.html

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(Kaisoo) Winded- Kyungsoo likes wearing bow-ties for multiple reasons, the least of which, he realizes, is fashion. 

http://maayacola.livejournal.com/50040.html

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(Kaisoo) if you need proof (here it is)- His boner is accidental, but he doesn't really regret it.

http://cupofdaisies.livejournal.com/17518.html

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(Baeksoo) Spoils (love is a warzone)- kyungsoo lets the game go too far, and has to deal with the consequences.

http://topkyungsoo.livejournal.com/8610.html

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(Chankai) 'Til The Morning Sun You're Mine- Jongin had expected a boring summer helping out at his parents' guest house that they rent out to tourists from all over the world. His mother forgets to tell him about the tall, gangly guy who doesn't like to wear sleeves.Notes:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11362968

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(Sekai) Don’t / Kiss Me- Crushing on a best friend is never a good idea. When he’s dating another of your friends, it’s even worse. Or, alternatively, Sehun really wants to kiss Jongin but he doesn't want to fuck up his friendship with either Jongin or Chanyeol.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11365947

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(Kaixing) bad karmic praxis- Jongin's life is falling apart because of this new transfer student and no amount of meditating, auric cleansing, or yoga can help him.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11359242?view_adult=true

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(Kaisoo) Ma-Ma-Machine- Jongin is finally alone in the apartment.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11548152

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(Sekai) Inevitability- Jongin travels to the future and screaming so loud that the earth nearly shatters at finding out he is lovingly married to his rival, Sehun

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11420754

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(Sekaixing) The Daily Life of Us- Life is more exciting when it's the three of them, together.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11646834

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(Xiuhun) The Magic Word- Sehun goes to a club to pick up a younger boy.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7457848

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(Sekai) Wade Deep- In which Sehun is jealous that his best friend turned roommate is spending too much time with Taemin, so he decides to sleep around to get his attention.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9529355

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(Chankai) Come Here (Touch Me)- In which Chanyeol keeps touching Jongin's butt, not realizing what kind of effect it has on him.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9626993

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(Sesoo) How I Learned To Accept- Sehun is not an ordinary omega. Maybe that's the reason why he finds himself surrounded by alphas.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11522106

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(Kaixing) Pretty Little Thing- Jongin is such a pretty little thing.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8380870

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(Kaisoo) Unplanned- Kyungsoo had a very bad day. Finding Jongin crying in the middle of a dorm hallway makes him think the young man also had a bad day.  And this is probably totally out of empathy that he asked him to come to his room for Netflix and chill. It doesn't go as planned.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10985235

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(Baeksoo) The Corruption of Do Kyungsoo- Out of every person that Baekhyun has ever met, never has he had someone more wrong that he had Do Kyungsoo.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11717175

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(Chanbaek) News Pop Weekly!- There’s an anonymous gossip column in the school newspaper. The author of it is relentless. Baekhyun has a lot of secrets. And Chanyeol is an annoyingly nosy hot piece of ass. Kind of.

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/993079

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(Chanbaek) The Incubus Next Door-  Chanyeol gets weird dreams, and the more they occur, the more they seem to be getting real.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7243009

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(Chanbaek) tonight ((1/2))- over the course of the week, baekhyun ends up on chanyeol’s cock more often than he’d like to admit. not that they’re exclusive.

http://happyxings.livejournal.com/3356.html

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(Chanbaek) [ A Rhythm of Its Own- Baekhyun is a music snob. An experimental venture into his city's underground hip hop scene leads him to Chanyeol, and he keeps coming back.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11040939

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(Chanbaek)  video games- Baekhyun shaves. Baekhyun plays video games. Chanyeol eats him out while he's playing. (that's it!)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11293407

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(Sekai) I Love Your D- Jongin has a thing for Sehun's dick. That's basically it.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8162470

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(Chankai) Crisp Autumn Air, Cloves, and Honey- A/B/O Uni!AU. Chanyeol is the only one who can smell that amazing scent, and it's driving him insane.

http://eexiee.livejournal.com/35208.html

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(Chanbaek) Something So Familiar- Baekhyun settles in to play a Boy's Love game. It's a little bit magical, to say the least.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10967157

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[smelllikeholyhell-blog]

Theory, Or: Interclass Activism and a Punk Development

This post serves mostly as any other post on any other website; I wanna write stuff and feel special I guess. That said, allow me to give my background as to why I consider my stance on this to be one of any more-than-minor experience regarding anything.

In my childhood, with an obscene absence of parental or adult authority of any kind, I turned (more often than not) to local punks because that’s what I wanted to be when I grew up. As a result my path through politics has been one of increasingly weird twists and turns that really don’t make a lot of sense. From a small period of christian conservatism in the late 00s, to a nihilist in the early 2010s, an almost groomed-to-be neo nazi as a stepping stone between the two. I had a lot of voices going in and out of my ear and a lot of influences in my path that ultimately led me to where I am today; I smell like shit and I’ve thrown a lot of shit at cops. If I had to choose how to summarise my politics it would be that.

A short disclaimer before going further: Growing up I was a “white, working class” child with no family. The “white working class” myth in America is not only a disgusting, pandering myth. It’s an outright erasure of every non-white citizen within the working class and an attempt to arrange a hierarchy of importance based on outmoded racial demographics. That said I’m not entirely sure on how to approach my birthright identity in any a way more constructive than that, so bear with me while I stumble through that phrase with an increasing reaction of stomach bile every time.

As mentioned; I was ‘white working class’ as a child, this is in the 2000s so that’s hardly of any significance or importance, but when I say working class that is a stretch. My mother was a crackhead, in and out of rehab and only around to be abusive and steal. My father was also a crackhead, albeit the kind that can hold a job. My uncles were drug dealers, my grandma had a weird fucking life and I don’t want to get into that but she was a worker, and the only grandparent alive at the same time as me. This structure in my home life left a large gap of leadership, guidance or comfort and my childhood was divided evenly between time spent outdoors trying to be anywhere but home, and time spent locked in my room hiding from the world. I was diagnosed with ADHD in early childhood, major depressive disorder at 8, generalised anxiety at 11, PTSD at 13 and BPD at 17. Suffice to say balancing all of these things in different intervals, being bounced between different facilities and (as a result) not receiving a continued treatment for anymore than one concurrent issue led to a lot of issues with conventional learning.

This did not stop me from learning, early into my adolescence I established myself as a well-spoken and stalwart voice in my communities (both online and irl) for what I considered to be moral and practical political guidelines. But the formation of the politics that served as the soapbox for those guidelines was something of an event itself that can be traced back to a Ramones CD I received as a birthday gift when I was 5. The case was cracked, the CD was scratched, but I could make out enough of the songs to love it and listen to it everyday until I turned 7 and received a Rancid CD from an uncle who was tired of hearing the Ramones. Shortly after, when I turned 8, a local gave me a Crass CD burnt (very poorly) onto what was a Mariah Carey CD at some point or another. This CD was defaced very horribly and was quickly thrown out within 4 months of coming home with me, but such is life. 

The Crass CD contained a few songs. Banned from the Roxy, General Bacardi, Do They Owe Us A Living, but most importantly for my impressionable young self; Big A Little A. An iconic and time-tested anthem of independent thought and self-sufficiency, a song that rails simultaneously against the systems of oppression so prevalent in the 70s and 80s in the UK, and a song that promotes free expression. It absolutely devastated me in a way I can never put into words, it was transformative like very few things ever have been since and very few things ever will be again. But most importantly it began my path towards anarchism as a school of thought and general principle.

Let’s derail to more relevant information; as a child I struggled to read. Not because I couldn’t or didn’t know how to, I read very well in fact. But I was terminally bored. No matter what it was or what was on the line or what I had to do. I was bored. I would start a book, get 5 pages in, close it and go back to my computer. Go back to the music or the game or whatever, as long as it wasn’t that. As I’ve gotten older I’ve just accepted that I really...don’t like reading. I enjoy writing, I love it, but the act of reading as a way to pass time is one of the most intensely draining and soulsucking experiences in my life, valid as it may be. Most of my political upbringing was based around a mixture of things. Music, conversations, speeches and most importantly a system of failure that is uniquely experienced by every person in the lower classes regardless of identity and race. The system of having your infrastructure devastated, your schools packed, your teachers dismissive of you based on your financial ability to retaliate, and the saving grace of free lunches. Lunches which would be your only food everyday for weeks, sometimes. And in my formative years I spent many weeks and months homeless, not quite “fighting” for survival and in a situation comparatively far less severe than what my nonwhite counterparts have endured, but a difficult one nonetheless.

In many ways around this time I was extremely lucky to grow up in an area as diverse as can be. In a lot of classes I was one of maybe 4 white kids, where most children were latinx or black. I owe this time period a great deal as it allowed me the freedom to learn early how to hold other cultures in a good amount of respect, while also understanding my place at a maintainable but appreciative distance from them. I would later undo this through several years of drug fueled abuse of being given the oh-so-fabled n-word pass by a few black friends, though I can graciously say I moved past that and physically shudder every time I think about that time. But being homeless in this situation, in this region of America and with the great deal of privilege I was handed at birth, offered me an equally great deal of autonomy and my ability to learn where I wanted to learn and how I wanted to learn. If it meant staying up until 5 AM to go on scene trips to the local campus after hours then so be it, but if I wanted to hear what someone had to say I heard what someone had to say. This learning process, while informal and atypical, was the deciding factor in who I became to this day. But there are interclass repercussions for how I’ve learned.

As a young anarchist I attended every event I could. If it was a black bloc I was there. A protest, I was there. Vandalising, squatting and stealing were my favourite pasttimes and I regret absolutely none of it. I can say I’ve punched a cop or two in my time and that’s a pretty fun thing to say albeit entirely alienating when talking to people who aren’t anarchists. Most importantly though; I didn’t show my face. I learned security culture, I learned how to load a gun, I learned how to hide. I did all of it without books and I can say that most of my personal friends have a decent theoretical idea of practise and absolutely no idea how to sustain the execution of it. This, unsurprisingly, has not stopped those people from looking down on me at some point or another. Most still to this day with varying levels of severity. Usually when the topic of anarchy is prevalent I’m asked to give very diplomatic answers or partake in very diplomatic discussions

“What would happen to me in this situation?”

“How would this situation be handled?”

“Who’s your favourite writer?”

“Are you a syndicalist or a mutualist or an egoist?”

At the end of the day most of these discussions generally serve an entirely hypocritical and self-defeatingly toxic pecking order in anarchist circles. Who can theory the other person to death first? so to speak. At its best this behaviour is pedantic and childish. At its worst it just serves to divide current groups and prevent them from further cooperation, the very same cooperation which every single anarchist community inherently relies on for the most minor accomplishment of basic survival. In the last couple of years I’ve adopted a way of dealing with this which is simply in saying; I don’t have time for theory. This isn’t a lie, it isn’t a deflection, it’s the truth. My own time on a day-to-day basis is preoccupied with self-preservation in any capacity that that happens. If self-preservation is a complete distraction from my problems then so be it, no one will ever enforce a schedule on how I deal with my problems unless it’s me or my biological clock. If self-preservation is getting drunk when I wake up, that’s that. If it’s disappearing to go work on something for a few days, that’s that. If it’s networking with other anarchist to establish a network of ideas that’s that. But self-preservation is self-preservation, it is at its core just the act of survival in a capitalist society, one which is built to ensure anything but that survival.

I have noticed that my approach to this is not entirely uncommon in working class circles of anarchist praxis, it’s actually the overriding majority. The anarchists filling potholes are not the same as the anarchists lecturing one another. Debates on the internet for sport do nothing to help communities that are hopelessly marginalised into nonexistence on an hourly basis around the world, so we have to ask ourselves; Where did that mentality come from?

Where is that needless competitive edge in anarchist circles emerging from? My honest input on the matter is muddied, incomplete and unproductive but if I had to place my bet on where it comes from I would place it on a combination of two things. Both of equal performance and importance in their role to this toxicity; the inane publicity of debates, writings and lectures. And the role of competition in capitalist society--the ‘drive to win’ that is drilled from birth. It seems to me most anarchist circles in America and the UK are plagued by self-serving ideologues. People who look at the reputation of Marx, Paine and Chomsky and think to themselves that those people have contributed even a fraction an amount of the importance that unions have in leftist and post-leftist thought and praxis. People have conflated the “teachings” of these men (dogmatic as they are) with the tangible benefits and visibly positive effects that organisations like the IWW have had.

Obviously the teachings of Marx can inextricably be tied to the rise and solidification of union labour in the west, and I will never shortsell that fact no matter how much spite or disdain I hold for marxism. That said the execution, the maintenance and the daily operation of those organisations are independent of their foundational teachings. A framework is not praxis. A foundation is principle, it is logic, but it is not maintenance. To sustain an organisation like the IWW for as long as it has existed is an act not only of spite for a damaging system, it is done out of a sheer perseverance. The ability to transcend the fundamentalist teachings of labour thought and dogma. More importantly it demonstrates the ability to adapt across eras. People familiar with the radical changes, shifts and constant ebb/flow war on unionisation in America can truly appreciate how well the IWW has withstood the test of time.

While the IWW is a far-from-perfect organisation and still presents me with the constant hang-up of withholding total freedom from the working class, it still also presents me a security and benefit that will not happen anywhere else, anytime else. It’s an organisation whose legacy lives on through song as much as any other medium, yet people who are influenced by music and speech are looked down on in so many circles. Obviously this post has to end somewhere so it should end productively.

The total deconstruction of the snide self-serving ideologue status of white anarchists (ironic as it is to pin as a culprit given this post’s existence) is this; It is inherently ableist on its best day and it is gatekeeping classism on its worst. It is both counterproductive to cooperative efforts and a complete betrayal of the concept of solidarity by way of competition.

If you find yourself in this position or confronted after having taken that position, ask yourself the following;

Does the child of the average working class family have the time for theory? Will theory tangibly help them survive? Has theory protected them from homelessness, hunger or sickness? Will theory provide for their family?

The answer to these questions, historically and demonstrably is ‘No’. It will continue to be ‘No’ for as long as the working class is trapped in a system that enslaves us all. Theory can help structure direct action, but theory on its own is a waste of time that will not benefit anyone who truly needs the benefits they can receive, in a system that will happily kill them.