#Prioritizing work and life

[darrenwalleyconsultancy]

Work-Life Balance

Photo by Fuu J Work-life balance refers to the equilibrium between work and personal life demands. It is about allocating time, energy, and attention to professional and personal pursuits to avoid excessive stress, burnout, and neglect of personal well-being. Achieving a work-life balance does not necessarily mean spending equal time on work and personal activities but instead finding a rhythm…

[sunderwight]

What if the peak lords concluded that the most likely answer to the mystery of Shen Qingqiu's behavior is not that he's possessed now (because they checked and all the tests came out negative), but that he must have actually been possessed before?

No one thought to check him before, after all. They just figured he was an asshole. But then he suffers a qi deviation, almost dies, but comes back nicer. Only slightly lacking in context for his own past behavior and lifestyle, too.

It fits remarkably well, doesn't it? All this time the real Shen Qingqiu must have been trying to free himself from a demonic spirit that took possession of him in his youth! It was the demon who was the asshole, dragging his poor host to brothels, alienating his sect siblings so that they wouldn't investigate him too closely, abusing his disciples and probably weakening the sect from within as part of some nefarious plot!

But then the real Shen Qingqiu finally managed to beat back the demon himself, even being gracious enough not to point out what happened to his martial siblings and so save the sect's face. What a guy.

[julykings]

planning on quitting my job tomorrow wish me luck.....

[chimerafeathers]

i know we love to rag on Siffrin for feeling so miserably guilty and manipulative for the crime of [checks notes] “doing nice things for their friends so that they’ll be happy and care about him even if it’s not perfectly sincere on his end”

but like. in context i don’t think that thought process is anywhere near as nonsensical as it always sounds written out like that

i’m sure i’m just stating the obvious here but it’s not really about the “crime” of making people happy. it’s about what he’s not doing, which is anything that would allow their friends to have any real knowledge or agency over the situation they’re all in.

it’s about never acting according to his real feelings in the moment and letting them see the messier version of him that exists now, never allowing their relationships to evolve or develop meaningfully beyond the “safest” iteration, the thing that is Known and produces the Correct Results, because anything else has the possibility of leading to negative emotions towards Siffrin.

Siffrin knows he’s not really doing all this for their benefit, not entirely, because the “right” thing to do would give them the full context to choose how they feel and what to do about it. they’re happy, but in a way they don’t get to keep. they’re happy, but in a way that keeps Siffrin safe from anything more complex and real. they’re happy, but only because some Siffrin in the past said the right things once, and this new, bitter, lonely, desperate version wouldn’t know how to get the “correct result” without a script to follow. they’re happy, and it was real once, it meant something once, but not anymore.

they cared about that Siffrin, yes, but would they still care about this one, if they knew? if Siffrin ever allowed them to know? (he won’t, he can’t, he refuses.)

and there’s something that could have been said in favor of Siffrin allowing himself this “selfishness” if it made him happy anyway, if it could be a genuine source of comfort in a difficult situation—but it doesn’t! not really! because that guilt is there, because that fear is there, because of how flimsy it all inevitably feels.

so they’re not doing it for their family’s benefit, because that happiness is predicated on lies and ignorance. he’s barely doing it for his own benefit, because they’re torturing themself by revealing things they no longer want to reveal, concealing things they no longer want to conceal, acting out of fear of rejection rather than genuine desire for connection. who benefits from this hollow “kindness,” really?

that’s why the last loop had to be the ugliest one. Siffrin had to see that the worst could happen and there could still be love and connection on the other side. that even when the party sees the worst of him, when they have the agency he’s been knowingly denying them, they will still choose to love him.

[sunlight-shunlight]

thinking about veilguard and bioware in general, i think we are reaching a point where people need to grapple with the inherent limits of what stories can be told in our Current Society and in AAA gaming companies.

on a labour level: mass layoffs, tons of developers leaving despite previously talking about how passionate and happy they were to be involved, not even paying severance, and crunching employees to the point of burnout. this is unfortunately pretty standard for AAA game companies.

on a cultural level: it is SO white and SO centrist-ly Canadian. i wrote up these asks outlining how. it is a repeated pattern of writing in which they go into tortured racial oppression allegories at best, while constantly peppering in a "but BOTH SIDES were wrong and made mistakes :( :( :(", in between their fictional atrocities that are clearly mirroring irl genocides and enslavement. or at worst, it's "the qunari are radical islamic borg" which has even less nuance. i personally thought, since dai came out in 2014, and a lot has changed since then about the world and in public awareness, that this would have filtered into the narrative and resulted in more satisfying and historically grounded writing. unfortunately not the case. it's shocking if you compare it to how sharp and aware and unflinching something like disco elysium is.

so what does this mean?

under these conditions, it is unavoidable that we get development by people who are rapidly cycled out of the company or demoralized into burnout. we get digestible, easy little soundbites of lore without much substance, because any complexity needs more time and coordination rather than the process of "quick, we have these assets, a lot of people involved in making them just got laid off, we need to make Something by next quarter to show the CEO". we get very little cohesion between games, despite the clear intent from dai to have so many plot points set up to follow through in a sequel, because the team and development are so chaotic that they can't hold onto a vision and complete it.

we also get this inherent caution and "conservatism" from the narrative, because on an ideological level, they're largely white people who want cops to be included in pride. so any major change to even a fictional society is Bad and Scary, and shouldn't be done without making sure that every character finger-wags appropriately at non-state violence. there is clearly not much ideological or even ethnic diversity within the leadership; or at least not enough that anyone there felt comfortable even speaking up on minor issues like the Incredibly Orientalist Isabela Outfit, let alone anything larger.

i don't personally think there's too much value in trying to analyze veilguard's plot or lore at this point. the final product is chaotically developed and does not seem to reflect the goals of the creators as set up in prior games, it's basically a ship of theseus in terms of the people and ideas involved in making it. this is sad for all of us, who were interested in the story, and attached to the characters, and were creatively fulfilled by engaging in the fandom. it's probably worse for the developers who have lost their jobs, burnt out, or feel unhappy with the game that they spent years of their life working on. it's certainly miserable as an indictment of The Industry, as well as the general societal climate of white Canadian centrism.

the solution is to create a society where people can develop games in peace and prosperity and stay on projects for longer, rather than constantly getting turfed out without severance pay. and to get some genuine leftists, poc, and indigenous people on staff who can weigh in and provide significant input, rather than a Council Of Liberal White Edmontonians every time.

in the meantime, at the very least, let's please stop preordering AAA games and supporting companies who notably abuse their employees.

[glowettee]

✧・゜: lessons that changed everything: what i learned from tam kaur :・゜✧:・゜

hey lovelies! ✧

i've been deep diving into tam kaur's videos lately (at 2am with a face mask on, as one does) and honestly? her advice has shifted something in me that i didn't even know needed shifting. i wanted to share some lessons that have genuinely changed how i move through the world, in case any of you need these reminders too.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ you're allowed to prioritize yourself ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

this seems so simple but was revolutionary for me. tam talks about how we're conditioned to believe that putting ourselves first is selfish, when actually it's the foundation of everything good we bring to the world. i used to feel guilty for saying no or taking time for myself, like i was somehow failing at being a good friend/daughter/person.

now i understand that filling my own cup first isn't just okay, it's necessary. i can't pour from empty, and neither can you.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ confidence is a practice, not a personality trait ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

i always thought confident people were just born that way. tam taught me that confidence is actually built through tiny, consistent actions, speaking up even when your voice shakes, trying things that scare you, and slowly expanding your comfort zone.

the most powerful part? she talks about how confidence isn't about never feeling insecure, it's about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. this changed everything for me because i was waiting to feel confident before acting confident. turns out it works the other way around.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ your worth isn't tied to productivity ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

in one video, tam mentioned how we're taught to tie our value to what we accomplish. i felt so seen because i've always been that person with the endless to-do lists, feeling like a failure on days when i don't cross enough items off.

learning to separate my inherent worth from my output has been the most freeing thing. i'm still working on it (catching myself when i say "i didn't do anything today"), but just being aware of this pattern has helped me be gentler with myself.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ healing isn't linear ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

tam talks about this a lot, how personal growth isn't this neat upward trajectory. it's messy. you'll have days where you feel like you've figured it all out, followed by days where you fall back into old patterns.

this helped me stop being so hard on myself when i slip up. healing isn't perfection; it's progress over time. those setbacks aren't failures, they're just part of the journey.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ other people's opinions aren't your responsibility ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

this one hit me hard. tam has this way of explaining how we waste so much energy trying to manage what others think of us, when ultimately, their opinions are shaped by their own experiences and insecurities.

i used to contort myself trying to make everyone like me. now i'm learning that some people simply won't, and that's okay. it's actually freeing to release that impossible responsibility.

what i love most about tam's approach is how she balances aspirational content with reality. she doesn't promise overnight transformation, she talks about the daily practice of choosing yourself, again and again.

have any of you found creators who've shifted your perspective like this? i'd love to know who else i should be watching!

xoxo, mindy 🤍

make sure to follow + check out my substack newsletter, i'm going to post a lot of amazing content on there: follow it right here!!

[nextsoundofthefuture]

it was said that the next update would probably be in june back in april, what's happening now? is everything okay?

i am still really hoping chapter 20 can be posted in june but it may not be until the 24th... i'll let you know in advance and draw something else if i can't make it 🚶‍♀️ really sorry for the wait!!!! thank you for your patience!!!!!

[studentbyday]

2025.

Please be good.

[the-crooked-library]

See this is why we need more media of the following if people actually want to talk about old timey fuckboy vampires:

-Lord Ruthven: Player, gambler, world traveller, soothsayer. Seduces maidens to marry him, and on their wedding night he stabs them, drinks their blood, and leaves for the next one. Makes men shut down and swear oaths of loyalty.

-Carmilla: (for your Fuckboy until Getting Smitten trope). literally has a travelling troupe she goes from village to village with, saduing and drinking girl after girl without fail, then she meets Laura and goes babe I am ready to settle. in undeath. all those other girls did not matter. i have never fallen in love with any just you babe die in me. doesn't stop her from biting her titty every night and drinking her like a caprisun

-Clarimonde is textually performing orgies all over France. it makes an Abbot so mad that she's corrupting people into sin among them a young priest. she keeps having those parties even after she seduces her boytoy. unlike Carmilla though she hates harming him and struggles badly with her bloody urges.

-Dracula done right. "I have crossed oceans of time" He Would Not Fucking Say That. Jonathan was his summer fling, Dracula left him home to turn once he was done with him, Lucy was his next obsession, Also left her to turn once he was done with her, Mina was his next target out of sheer anger towards her for constantly thwarting him, left her to turn and to turn the men... he is not Orlok, he literally fucked around until he found out.

yesssss omg honestly Carmilla would make a perfect period romance Rake - especially if she is to fall in actual love by accident! Frankly, I didn't know I needed this until now, but now that I am considering the concept, I am finding it delightful.

I imagine that the classic lit vampires all think Orlok is a bit of a prude. Spent three centuries alone, waited until marriage both times to get with Ellen, and the only other person he was with sexually was her legally wedded husband?.. Come on.

They would watch Nosferatu like a Hallmark movie.

[puyondraws]

I drew this like months ago lol

Happy Father’s Day, shout-out to one of my fav Pokédads out there, I’m so sorry about what the manga did to you. Here’s Norman and Brendan taking a break after doing some training together

[watermelinoe]

i know i use radfem as a shorthand for the gyns on here who Believe those Beliefs but i think radical feminism is something one does, not an identity, and i think part of our collective problem is that we're all still submerged in the deep fryer that is identity politics

[beneathsilverstars]

In Stars And Time Classpects

Siffrin - Thief of Time Mirabelle - Page of Space Isabeau - Heir of Blood Odile - Seer of Heart Bonnie - Sylph of Hope

Explanations under the cut!

Siffrin - Thief of Time Of course Siffrin literally manipulates time, but Time as an aspect is also associated with death, destruction, and inevitability, which are huge themes in their story. Nothing says "time player" more than marching onwards through a thousand deaths, fighting against a fate that seems impossible to avert. And as a Thief, Siffrin specifically steals time from others in order to have more for himself. Whoops! Time players are relentless, and thieves are active, self-centered. They won't sit still and accept the inevitable; they'll struggle towards their goal at any cost. It's incredibly fitting for a Thief of Time to hold their objective so tightly that the reason they wanted it disintegrates in their grasp, lost to entropy.

Mirabelle - Page of Space As the chosen one spearheading the mission to collect the orbs and save the country, she seems like the obvious choice for the other essential aspect and its quest, collecting frogs and ensuring the continuation of life. Luckily, the metaphorical side fits perfectly as well: Space is about creation, just like the Change religion! But as a Page, Mirabelle doesn't use her aspect herself; instead, she leads using it, and leads others to use it. She inspires others to change, learn, and improve. Pages reach their potential slowly – they may struggle for a while with feelings of inadequacy and stagnation. After a long hard journey with lots of reflection and personal growth, though, they can end up the strongest of all! And for Mirabelle, as a Page of Space, that means learning to let go of the urge to force personal change, inspiring external change on a greater scale instead.

Isabeau - Heir of Blood Blood means relationships, trust, and obligation. Heirs embody their aspect, and perhaps attract it, receive it, are controlled by it; the perfect class for someone who specifically crafted himself into the kind of person others would reach out to. Heir is one of the most active of all the passive classes, but it's still passive – Isabeau makes space for bonds, commits to bonds, but doesn't take the first step to create the bonds himself. His choice to follow Mirabelle was a natural continuation of his obligations as defender. He couldn't bring himself to confess to Siffrin, but that passive crush was a powerful narrative force. Isabeau didn't assemble the team, but he reinforces the bonds that allow it to function!

Odile - Seer of Heart Heart is the aspect of self and identity, which is the heart (heh) of Odile's quest. She wants to learn about herself, and her chosen method is learning about other people. Seers seek a comprehensive knowledge of their aspect and then use it to coordinate and advise others; Odile analyzing enemies and deciding team tactics is a perfect example of this! The Seer prevents their party from making mistakes related to their aspect, so a successful Seer of Heart would understand each teammate's personality well enough to guide them through their character arcs and prevent self-destructive behavior. Odile noticed Siffrin's increasingly out-of-character behavior, and had the ability to figure out why they had changed... except he kept thwarting her efforts by stealing her time. But in the end she managed to thwart them instead, forcing them to stay put and go through their character development already!

Bonnie - Sylph of Hope Hope is one of the most literal aspects; Hope players raise morale, stick to their convictions, and believe that a better world is possible. The Sylph of Hope would be someone who uses Hope to heal other people, or fixes and maintains Hope itself. Obviously, Bonnie literally brings hope and healing by passing out the potions, but they're also the snack leader! Nothing boosts morale like a nice meal. Hope is also the antithesis to Rage, which represents possibilities being cut off. Bonnie reacts poorly to situations that invoke the Rage aspect, like the adults discussing death (the ultimate end of possibilities), and Siffrin getting injured in their defense (which no amount of belief can heal); in fact, they react with anger and an urge to tear down any positive that's left! Since Hope is associated with black and white thinking, it's not surprising that when Bonnie loses hope, they lose it, leaning into their aspect's opposite. But that's not where they stay – when they protect Siffrin in their friendquest, they're able to not just heal their own hope, but give hope to Siffrin as well. Bonnie believes that they and their friends can all protect each other, and in the end, they do!

[the-breadgoblin]

I have to confess that I only know 4KOTA as far as season 1,, I've been meaning to read the manga for ages I just never actually got around to it 😭

Anyways,, Howzer my beloved ,,,,,

I may have gone a bit overboard with the fluffiness of his hair but I do not apologize for doing so. It's for the good of mankind. also tits

[god-i-hope-so]

I'm gonna be this person for a minute because the things I read sometimes are just... not that. Some of you really need to talk to elder millenials instead of profiling Tommy based on your very young life experience. Please. The generation gap really shows and you misinterpret everything about him because his behavior of a late 30s/early 40s man doesn't match your less than 25 years old life. And I get it, you do with what you know, it's perfectly normal, but don't project yourself in a story where characters will invevitably be very different from you. Learn to know them instead. And even if you're jealous of Tommy (because I know how it works, you don't fool me), it's not a reason to paint a portrait of him that is nowhere near his canon self and what we see on screen. We're not dramatic teens anymore at this age and details are a lot less important when they're not about really meaningful things, as is life-scale things.

Tommy not wearing perfectly in-theme clothes at the party is nothing. It's a shame, sure, but does it spoil the fun (they end up not having)? Absolutely not. And remember: they just met. It's not like they've known each other for months or years and have high expectations because they have a history together. What is important here? That he showed up or that he wears the right outfit? He showed up while being on call. This is big. Details are details. It's like saying a 6 course meal was horrible because they didn't have the dessert you wanted and had to choose something else. No, the dinner was delicious, shame they didn't have the dessert but it's nothing. You still enjoyed the damn food served.

Creating posts about how Tommy doesn't care about Buck because of this kind of details, and using your personality as a reference to profile Tommy?? This is not how things work. It's not because you can't relate that it's wrong. It's not because it doesn't fit your fic ideas that it's not valid. It's not because it's different that it's not right. You can just say you don't like him for who he is, it's fine! No one is forced to like him. But don't twist the character's personality to fit your narrative. This is not how things work.

And please talk to people. Just, you know, sharing basic life things, in a safe space. It's possible and it's great, for everyone involved.

[myinterestsvary-writes]

you guys gotta stop making me think about ambereve. it’s so fucking good, shut up, ugh

[chickensauras]

My haterism for the VS anime has mostly subsided. Its not for me but thats fine.

But the bit where thorfinn was even considering leaving with Leif at the end of s1 remains the thing i cant let go of. Removed a load bearing beam with that change.