#Profit and Loss math

[transmisogynistic]

[softceleste]

Positives of today: My college unblocked discord after we all sent in tickets whining about it being blocked!

Negatives of today: I realized I'm literally paying thousands of dollars for super enlightening math lessons such as "rock, paper, scissors is not a linear equation" and "if you don't pay a $25 parking fine, that's $25 in profit."

Anyway I don't know who's venmo-ing him money for committing crimes but I have a lot of gofundmes I could link them that'd be a better use of their money.

[phantomrose96]

Actually I have a post I want to make about Property Value.

Which is a topic that comes up a lot in discussions of rich people hoarding wealth, in NIMBY panics, and in the ever-increasing prices of homes. But I don't think we talk much about how the perniciousness of property value goes deeper and basically holds middle class people who own a home hostage.

So to set some context here: in 2025 the median US home sold for $416,000. Say you have a working class family who can't meet median, but who scraped and saved and penny-pinched their way to a $300,000 home.

Typically, when buying a first home, you pay 20% down directly, and take 80% out as a mortgage from the bank. For this family, that means $60,000 of their liquid money (and let's say it took them 10-15 years to save that amount), and a $240,000 loan from the bank.

That's $240,000 in debt the family is. Which will be repaid over 30 years, with interest, at a rate that usually means for the lifetime of the loan, they end up paying back double the original loan.

However this massive $240,000 debt is generally considered "okay" debt to have, because it's backed by the house. If things go truly sour, the bank can take the house (and what's a little homelessness between friends).

That $60,000 the family put down is considered equity, and equity is money you "have", but isn't accessible.

Scenario: Now let's say something happens. Someone in the family loses their job, and the only job they can find requires moving. Or a family member across the country can't care for themselves anymore and so this family needs to move to be closer to them. The family gets divorced. Someone in the family is allergic to material in the home. Someone in the family is being stalked or abused and needs to leave the town. Anything at all, which would require selling the home and moving.

Case 1: The family is able to sell it for exactly what they paid (same property value, no increase or decrease). You would think the math is clean. They are paid $300,000 for the house. $240,000 repays the bank loan. The remaining $60,000 of equity goes right back to them. And they can use it (which took 10+ years to save up) to move across the country and buy a different $300,000 house.

Except no, it does not work like that.

The seller of a home is on the hook to pay commission to their realtor and the buyer's realtor. This is usually ~6% of the home value. They have to pay legal costs. There are taxes. There are miscellaneous costs. It can easily be 6-9% of the selling price of the house.

The bank NEEDS its $240,000 back. So those costs come from the equity. This family is not getting their $60,000 back. They're getting $30,000-$45,000, and now no longer enough money for a downpayment in their move. They're back to renting. Back to penny pinching. They can get by, but homeownership is now out of their grasp once more. Maybe in another 5 years, they'll have enough (unless home prices have increased too much by then) then they'll maybe never be homeowners again.

Case 2: The property value has DECREASED... Family is only getting offers in the $260,000 range.

If the family accepts a $260,000 sale, well $240,000 goes to the bank. This is genuinely non-negotiable. And that leaves.... maybe not enough money to even close on the house. Not enough to pay the realtors and the fees.

That $60,000 is wiped out, and the family is incapable of moving. Never mind losing 10+ years of savings--they're below $0. They don't have the money to close. It's financially impossible to sell. They are stuck with the mortgage. They are stuck with the house. (Maybe they'll rent it, if they can. And now they're landlords by circumstance, which is often NOT profitable when you're not a trust fund baby renting out a totally-paid-for no-mortgage home.) But whatever the case, they cannot sell it. And if the reason for selling was a job loss... well, they can be homeless soon. And if the property value dropped below $240,000, they can be homeless AND owe a bank debt. A $60,000 nest egg wiped completely out, with a bank debt owed on top of that.

So how do people avoid financial destitution when moving?

The most sensible answer is building up equity by paying down the loan--but it's important to know that mortgages are super interest heavy in the early life of the loan. With a 5% interest rate (BETTER, btw, than current rates) this family would be paying $15,460 the first year, and only $3,540.88 is actually chipping at that $240,000 principle. The other $11,919.59 was pure interest to the bank.

So after 1 year, the family went from having $60,000 equity in the house to $63,540.88 equity in the house. This buys a little extra wiggle room when juggling closing costs. But not very much. Even after 3 years, the family has just a little over $70,000 of equity, and just under $230,000 still left on the loan. So if the family has to move for any reason (sickness! death! job loss!) in those 3 years, it's probably financially devastating.

But there is a second answer to avoiding financial ruin: and that is Property Value going up.

Any amount of property value increase is PURE equity. The bank only cares about the amount of money it gave you. If after 3 years, that house is now worth (and can sell for) $315,000 (which is appreciation of only 1.6% a year. Most home appreciation is closer to 3%), that's more equity increase than they got from 36 diligent months of mortgage payment.

If they can sell for $315,000, pay $230,000 of that to the bank, that leaves $85,000. $25,000 goes to paying the realtors and the closing costs and.... the family is back to their $60,000 downpayment. Not trapped. Able to sell. Able to buy a new $300,000 home in the place they moved. Able to just maintain homeownership status.

But wait, if their home appreciated to $315,000, didn't all the other homes do the same, so now $60,000 isn't enough

Smart eye, lad! You've identified why this is a TERRIBLE rat race for the people scraping money together to live, and is ONLY a profitable leisure activity for rich people who sell homes like collectables.

Now because the increase is pure equity, a similar family with decent property value increase can funnel that extra equity into affording to meet the new higher down payment (remember the downpayment is only 20%, so even if the new place is similarly higher in property value, you only need to match that increase 20% for the downpayment). Which gets their foot in the door. But now their new mortgage is higher than the old one. More expensive. More interest.

But there is a losing scenario here--if home property values increased everywhere else, but not where you live. Then this family is back to surrendering homeownership. Because even if they can sell their place, they can't buy the next home.

It forces them to care about their own Property Value increase because, if it doesn't increase while everywhere else does, it traps them.

So what do I mean by all this

If the value of all homes dropped 50% overnight, I assume most people here would celebrate. Affordable homes! Rich people upset and crying! So much to love.

But in reality, that 50% drop would likely continue to mean no home for most of us, because the people who could sell you the homes would be financially incapable.

For the family above with the $240,000 mortgage, that mortgage does not reach halfway-paid-off until year 20 of the 30 year mortgage (remember the interest frontloading). If a family still owes $230,000 in bank loans on a place that can only sell for $150,000, they can't sell it to you. That house is the bank's collateral securing the loan. Their mortgage is underwater. They're trapped. They cannot sell it. You cannot have it.

Something similar happened in the 2008 subprime mortgage crisis, and the only people who got out okay were ones who could stay the course, keep making the mortgage payments, and wait it out long enough for property value to recover.

Those who couldn't got foreclosed on. Those who couldn't were left in financial devastation.

So in conclusion?

Banks profit off of mortgages. Rich people profit off of hoarding housing stock and selling it as the property value increases. Real estate companies profit off of home sales. And the regular people, who managed to achieve home ownership, are shackled to the price-go-up system to avoid financial ruin. They're forced to care about their property value because it is the singular determinant of whether they're trapped in place, whether they'll be okay if they lose their job, whether they could move due to an important life event.

It's a profit system for the rich where the cogs are middle class people who could achieve homeownership, running a machine where every single crank locks the poorer and younger generations out of home ownership forever.

[study-diaries]

Math Tips

(Pictures are not mine)

Well, let me tell you, we all have this love-hate relationship with this subject, right? The worst part is that when you don't know what the heck is going on, so, as a girl who studied maths (2 Volumes/textbooks) on her own during the year she was homeschooled, here are some tips and tricks that I did to get an A+ in my math finals!

Get your syllabus together

In the beginning I had no damn idea what was going on and it was just confusing. I had to do the first thing I did was taken my index/table of contents and mark the chapters which i knew very well and the ones I had no clue about. And then i arranged them with the marking scheme, like which one carries the most marks etc etc and study accordingly.

Complete lessons/chapters that you already know

When you finish off the things you already know then that's gonna give you the confidence you need even if you know only 1-2 chapters, learn it throughout and make sure that you'll get the answer no matter how twisted the sum is. If you're doubtful about the whole textbook like any normal person.... Start with the easy ones. (I know there are literally really no "easy" chapters, spare me)

Harder chapters need hard work

Most chapters like Trigonometry proofs, Geometry proofs, Algebra, Graphs, Mensuration and Calculus etc need more than minimum effort but here's a trick, what is the common thing in this? Yes, they're all formulae and theorem based which goes to my next point. These chapters are completely based on how much you've understood your basics.

Formulae and theorem cheatsheets

Make a list of all formulae and the theorem used in the book, write them chapter wise and no printouts or digital notes. Take a paper and write it down, no excuses. It helps you while you're practicing, revising and in the last minute review, it helped me damn much. Remember, maths is a sport. The basic formulae must come to you like reflexes.

YouTube is your best friend.

For every single chapter, go and watch the basics and how a sum is done step by step. A recommendation for this is Organic Chemistry Tutor who literally is one of the reasons i passed. He has videos from basic geometry, trigonometry, statistics to calculus. Search for your own YouTubers and be clear with concepts.

Math is fully memorization

Memorize formulae and theorems with the back of your hand, you should be able to recall them within seconds. Be thorough.

Memorize basic math values (if calculator isn't allowed)

Do this if you have a majority of chapters like Statistics, Mensuration, Profit/loss calculation etc, where large numbers are concerned. Memorize the first 10 square, cube, decimal and multiplication values. It may be dry but there are literally songs available for these things, I'm serious, i learnt the first 10 cube roots by listening to Senorita xD Search for rhymes and they'll definitely be many!!

Work it out!!!!!!

Can't stress this enough, atleast 30-40 mins is the minimum for maths. I'm serious, work out each sum, don't ever think it's a waste, you'll see the results. Practice makes perfect. Work out every single sum, from examples to exercise ones cause let's be honest, our examiners love to take problems from every nook and cranny of the book.

Whiteboard method

So, I made this up and it actually works, if you have a whiteboard or anything else, once you completed a chapter, take a random page and whatever sums you have on those two pages, you need to complete within a given time limit. It helps you to identify your weak points and where the hell you're losing both time and effort and not to mention that it gives you confidence boost up.

Hope this helps :))

[bitchfitch]

Idk. Seeing people complaining about fewer episodes per season irks me to no end. Here's the math. Before the industry wide strikes led to studios having to pay more to (almost) everyone involved in the production of a show, the show cost X dollars to make and generated Y dollars in profit.

After the strikes, Y did not go up. More people didn't watch this or that show because the people behind the cameras were being compensated at a rate that was almost fair. There was only a net loss for the studios.

Thus there was no incentive to make X go up. A modern season of 8 episodes is miniscule, but it costs the same to produce, and generates the same profit as a 20+episode season pre industry strikes. this should also tip you off to how severely folk were being underpaid and how many corners were being cut.

The studios were never going to spend more on the product they pay to create, since doing so would just be a larger loss of the only thing they care about: profit. Everyone who can add 2+2 knew that going in.

So the trade off for the people who make the things you love getting humane working conditions and proper pay, is less of the thing. and I personally thought we were all cool and chill with fewer hours of blorbos bouncing around if it meant actual humans got to feed themselves and also not die from exhaustion and stress.

Anyways maybe watch some indie stuff to fill in the time, most of those studios actually give a shit about the things they create and are always on the verge of going belly up because no one is willing to look away from what the big studios are doing even while bitching about the big names letting them down over and over.

[wellofdean]

Sorry ,for me personally, it has to be out loud acknowledge to even remotely make up for how badly they treated fans over the years, the out loud queerbaiting in one breath and mocking in the next. The in text gay jokes, sexism and homophobia. The digs at their own fans.

They want the credit without having to do it. Again. They want the pat on the back they need to earn it this time.

Years of baiting for views and profit needs a payoff imo. Sorry people downplaying how important the canonization of this ship in particular is just hurts to see over and over. Stop letting them off the hook please. You deserve more. We all do.

It’s important. It does matter.

The cas/destiel hope baiting continued with the Winchesters and that’s why I’m at a put up or shut up moment with Jensen and the writers. He and Danneel kept the hype up every week that the show was airing all the while knowing cas doesn’t even get a name drop. He’s not even hinted at. Mary/john paralleled destiel so many times yet refused to call it want it was.

They could have shut it down week one, they interacted on tweeter a lot during airing and knew what fans thought there was going to be an acknowledgment or hint that never happened. They are smart people, they saw the speculation and hype but didn’t step in with a gentle ‘sorry guys this is about the new crew’ they fanned the hope instead with ‘something big happens’ that was just dean meeting the new team.

Loved the Winchesters as a show, sad it got dropped cause I loved the new cast so much. That said the baiting hurt and wasn’t necessary, the show was good.

Everyone is looking back with rose colored glasses and rewriting history. But things were ugly with the spn team/cast/writers at times. The homophobia was pretty out loud in a way it was allowed to be in the early 00s. They’ve grown and that’s wonderful but it still happened.

They need to earn the praise they want imo. No hate! Glad you are happy! just feels a little unfair to say we should all let them off the hook again and be happy with nothing while praising the benevolent straights. Just my two cents 😅💚💙

I want to answer this sympathetically, because I know it's disappointing that no one has been willing to just say "Dean and Cas are gay for each other" out loud, and I don't think there are many people in this fandom who picked up what the narrative was putting down, and were not disappointed in the finale for LOADS of reasons, only one of them being that Dean never had the chance to acknowledge what Cas said to him. I understand your feelings, my anonymous friend, I really do. I too found the end of Supernatural deeply frustrating, because they managed to erase the meaningful journeys of every single character, not just Dean, though what they did with Dean was the worst. I completely understand wanting them to JUST FUCKING SAY IT. I do. I get you. I simply do not agree.

My argument, which I have made many, many times, is that what you want is THERE in the narrative. They made Cas Dean's ride or die, they made it obvious that Dean can't carry on without Cas -- that the loss of Cas means Dean loses his will to live. That was explicit. They made it clear that more than anyone else, EVEN Sam, Cas is essential to him. They structured the narrative around Dean and Cas's emotional beats. They let Cas say the obvious thing out loud, and then showed us Dean behaving exactly as Dean would in a situation like that -- in the midst of his existential crisis about who he is and whether he has ever had free will, and with the world falling around them -- they showed us Dean unable to speak, unable to respond but overwhelmed with emotion. Like, remember that when Mary died when Dean was four, he was unable to speak? Is it really so hard to imagine that he loves Cas with all his heart? To read love in Dean's watery eyes, and the way he chokes down his heart and begs Cas not to do this? Not to being saying goodbye? I mean... I CAN DO THAT MATH. Literally everything about the story supports it. IT IS THERE.

Fandom always argues: if Cas were a woman, we wouldn't have any questions, so what I am just wondering is, why do we have questions again? Is it because we (homophobically) can't just see it for what it is because it's gay? Because, when it's gay we lose our ability to interpret narrative, and we need to be told, like we are 5 years old, what's happening in a perfectly obvious story? Or, is it a skill issue? Is it because we need the creators of the story to affirm our interpretation? We need the actors to just TELL US what they meant when they did that thing with their faces? Do we need their permission to understand it for what it is?

I've said many times that calling what happened on Supernatural 'queerbaiting' because no one ever made out or fucked on the maps table is really offensive to me actually. Don't you know that there are queer people in this world who never get to live their truths? Who just ache and yearn and want, and never get to have? Like, that there are in fact queer people who are afraid to say what they feel, or who don't understand or embrace who they really are and what they really need until it's too late? Are those not QUEER EXPERIENCES? I love Dean and I love that story because it's queer as hell and it makes ME feel seen, because I am like him! I am a queer person of his age who didn't ask myself those questions seriously enough in time! My own queerness is very fucking real, and it is UNLIVED. That HAPPENS to actual queer humans, and like, it's not queerbaiting when it's just queer, but didn't tell you the queer story YOU wanted it to tell. You saw years of tease? I saw years of choices, and love, and accretion of deep wells of emotion. I saw a clear romance, and a character becoming. It was a story I needed, AS A QUEER PERSON.

And the Winchesters was just joyful if you went in with that understanding of the previous story. It was like getting an A+ in Supernatural week after week from Dean himself. I can accept that the stars didn't align for Cas/Misha to come back in the first season, accept that if he were coming back, it needed to be more than a cameo to make it right, and that it didn't work out. I am so sad it was cancelled, but I can accept that it was leading someplace it didn't get to go. That's not queerbaiting, either! It's telling a story that was aborted, and I think if you don't see that, then that is DEFINITELY a skill issue.

I'm not looking back with rose coloured glasses; Supernatural is fresh in my mind. I watched it again without the internal pressure of expectations that aren't going to be met, and let it tell me what it was really doing all along. I am happy. It's a really compelling, deeply romantic, deeply queer story. I don't need permission from anyone involved to think that, and I don't need it explained to me. I understand wanting it to just be fully explicit, but I would not trade the story it did tell for a simpler, less engaging one, that asked less of me. I love it very much AS IT IS.

And, please: point me to this fabled abuse of fans. I have never really seen an example of it that is not easily debunked with a little bit of context.

[multiverserift]

I came across the question: If the USA is so bad, and Cardassia is meant as a metaphor for USA, there surely are a lot of illegal refugees wanting to come to Cardassia and become Cardassians, RIGHT?" Let's dissect that. I think the whole question is asked under a false pretense. Because Star Trek cultures are not meant to display "real" feeling cultures. We rarely see cultural diversity in a Star Trek culture. Because they mostly represent an archetype. Klingons all have something to do with honor. Vulcans have something to do with logic. Sometimes those broad strokes of cultural aspects are used to tell the story of a stray (Ferengi scientist Dr. Reyga in TNG: Suspicions) or someone caught between worlds (Spock, T'Pol, Worf, Quark), yes. But the cultures in Star Trek are mostly a canvas for a big problem or aspect, an idea.

The Federation is about hope and humanity. The good in humans won. We did it. The utopia is achieved, it is challenged, from within and without.

The Romulans were about the Cold War. About secrecy, militarism. More about them in a bit.

The Klingons are a bit more complex, because their role in the Star Trek universe changed over the years. Focussing on TNG era Klingons, they were the Proud Warrior Race© of Star Trek, the problems with that culture as a concept. Also, most Klingon stories in TNG were used to grow the character of Worf.

Now to the cultural aspect of Refugees. Ironically, we are first introduced to this concept by the Bajorans, violated by Cardassia. We see them through the eyes of Ro Laren (the one who assimilated into the Federation) and Captain Picard. Refugees, and Picard gives them blankets. How nice of him. Double ironically, we later in DS9 see the Bajorans deal with their own refugee dilemma enbodied by the Skrreeans in DS9: Sanctuary. And it's problematic, to say the least.

Where else do we see refugees in Star Trek? In PIC, and they are Romulans (here they are again). Sadly, PIC isn't very good at tackling those human condition problems, so it's all a bit superficial. Or maybe I should watch S01 PIC again. But I don't want to.

We also have the Caatati, the refugees disenfranchised by the Borg in VOY: Day of Honor, and they are desperate and aggressive, but we get a very Star Trek solution to the problem. Technology and Empathy, and it's kind of okay. Also, there is VOY: Counterpoint. But the refugee stuff is more of a background canvas for Janeway's boyfriend story.

Now to the Cardassians. Short answer to the question "Are there refugees that try to refuge into the Cardassian Empire?" is: We don't know. Long answer: We don't know because it's not the point of the Cardassians. What's the point? Easy: Fascism and Authoritarianism. And the stories about refugees in fascist states are more interesting when refugees try to get OUT from there. Which is what we get in DS9: Profit and Loss and DS9: Ties of Blood and Water.

We see Cardassia lose its authoritarian state to (kind of) moderately democratic rebels, only to get usurped by Dukat, sold out to the Dominion and get eaten by a merciless war machine. Which is ironic, because this is the heart and core of many authoritarian states. Which is, also, kind of the point.

The point is not "refugees". Because that topic isn't a Cardassian topic. Then there would be the topic of the refugees that Cardassia CREATES. Which is also interesting when I'm writing from a western country (Germany here), because, let's face it, we are not exactly the good guys here. Maybe there should be a few Star Trek episodes about this.

So to understand Star Trek, you have to understand that the races mostly embody a central aspect. Ferengi? Predatory Hypercapitalism. Betazoid? British MILFs. Vulcans? Horny math teachers trapped in the bodies of apathetic decathlon athletes. And don't get me started on Andorians, because to understand Andorians, I'd have to get into the context matters of ENT and oboy, it's a deep hot pocket of interesting facts. Lower Decks also did some nice things with Orions and Tendi. ENT failed the Orions. Man, I would have loved to see live action Tendi in SNW. I could ramble on but I stop now. Also, slightly altered repost because I still have no clue how the reblog distribution system of tumblr works.

[booksbluegurl]

Day 3/100 days of Productivity

4th April, 2024

Academia

I did revision sheet of basic maths. This was the fourth time, and I remember most of the things, so I will space the next revision for it to 4-5 days.

I listened to a podcast of Neural System again like yesterday. It's my favorite way to get a little overview of these subjects.

I did biology revision sheets. Half of them.

Made revision sheet for Animal Kingdom. I'm halfway through to mastering at this chapter.

[Didn't do much today in terms of lectures.]

Non Academia

I watched a video essay Orientalism in Wes Anderson movies. Just makes me think that this is very prevalent. I've seen tons of westerners coming to eastern cultures and talking about the people and thier culture as if they're monkeys in a zoo, doing tricks. Though, there are a lot of people who take genuine interest and put efforts to understand a culture, I still feel like the objectification of eastern people is very rampant.

I watched another video essay while having my breakfast, and its was by Mina Le, I love her, her videos are always informative and engaging and her voice is so perfect for such essays. I was watching the costume analysis of Squid Game, a video from 2 years ago. And she highlighted the point about having uniforms and how some uniforms are made to rid people of thier identity. I'm always wondering whether people should have uniforms or not? Do you think we should?

I watched this really incredible video on Indian ancestry and genetics.

I finally, after so long, watched a GoSe episode!!!

Heyyyy how's it going? It's 1:46 am of 4th April. And i should be asleep but I couldn't sleep, so now I'm preparing for the day. It's my friend's birthday today. April has a lot of birthdays. | As soon as, I woke up today, I saw a few things that just agitated my mind, in a bad sense. Now I gave to try to forget it all and still try to study. I'm terribly afraid of failure because I've been working for years on something and failing again would mean that I'm not worth it. But I've been getting messages from everywhere that I should try, continue trying, give my best and leave the rest to God. I'm trying to do just that. A good quote I read from 3rd chapter of Bhagvat Gita-"Win or defeat, happiness or sadness, profit or loss, think of all of these things to be the same, and start preparing for the war."

-Tanishka

Pictures from pinterest

Day 2

Day 4

[alicescaling]

Brothers Conflict Season 2 Volume 3 #030

<— Previous || Masterlist

#30 — No way of knowing what happens after you leave.

Wataru: “I’m gonna be a CEO.”

Wataru-kun suddenly says.

I’m sitting in the living room with him, helping Wataru-kun with his studies.

— Three days ago, Wataru-kun got a graded exam back.

Bright Centrair is a preparatory school, which means that all of its students, from junior to high school, are required to take mock examinations.

Wataru-kun had taken a mock exam back in January, too, the results released a few days ago.

Overall, Wataru-kun’s scores were excellent.

However, his math scores were a little bit lower than the rest of his scores. Even though they were still much higher than average, Wataru-kun wasn’t satisfied with them, and asked me to help tutor him. So, I promised to help him after I got off school today, which leads us to now– it being around two o’clock in the afternoon, and Wataru-kun and I working on mock exam questions together.

We’re sitting next to each other on the living room floor, me going over the questions that Wataru-kun can’t answer, one by one.

It’s after we just about finished up, taking a short break, that Wataru-kun starts suddenly talking about his future.

(What’s with this all of the sudden?)

With that question in mind, I decide to ask.

“CEO? Wataru-kun, do you want to start a company?”

Wataru-kun gives a strong nod.

Wataru: “Yup. That’s why I need to do my best at math. ‘Cause if I can’t do math, then my company’s gonna end up in the red.”

“I- I don’t think that’s how it works… but I guess being able to do math is better than not being able to.”

I answer with that for now, before asking another question.

“So, what type of company do you want to start?”

Wataru: “Uhhhhhhhmm…..”

Wataru-kun’s face dims a bit.

Wataru: “A profitable one.”

“Eh?”

Wataru: “I wanna be rich. I wanna make lots of money!”

I stare at Wataru-kun in shock.

I’m surprised to hear Wataru-kun talk about money like that.

Considering how old he is, I guess it wouldn’t be strange to hear complaints about pocket money or allowances. But I’ve never heard anything of the sort from him before.

Wataru-kun’s usually a very reasonable kid when it comes to money.

(So what happened to cause such a sudden change?)

A little bit concerned, I speak up.

“Why do you want to have lots of money?”

Wataru: “Because,”

Wataru-kun turns his whole body towards me,

Wataru: “I wanna make you happy, Onee-chan.”

His voice is strong and clear as he says this.

“Eh…”

Wataru: “I’m the youngest of all my brothers.”

Wataru-kun leans forward.

Wataru: “If I want Onee-chan to choose me, then I’ve gotta earn more than all my brothers, right?”

“W-Wataru-kun?!”

Wataru: “I’m gonna work really hard.”

Wataru-kun peers into my eyes. His pupils are sparkling, shining brightly.

Wataru: “I’ll sweep you off your feet once I’m super rich, Onee-chan. So please wait for me ‘till then.”

“.....”

I’m at a loss for words.

To be honest, the stuff that Wataru-kun’s saying is childish. Still, there’s no doubt that he’s trying his best, and I don’t want to just up and crush his determination.

But at the same time, I can’t say yes.

(What do I do….)

I think, troubled, before Wataru-kun abruptly speaks.

Wataru: “...... ‘m sorry.”

His expression turns sad, and he closes his eyes.

Wataru: “I’m troubling you, aren’t I, Onee-chan.”

He then wraps his arms around me, leaning into a hug.

Wataru: “I’m sorry for saying weird things. I won’t say that kind of stuff anymore.”

Wataru-kun’s arms squeeze me tight.

Wataru: “Please don’t hate me….. Onee-chan.”

At that moment.

Suddenly, Wataru-kun’s body breaks away from me.

(Eh….?)

“Ahhhh, c’mon, looks like I can’t be careless anymore.”

I hear a voice that sounds exasperated, but still somehow warm, say.

“Seriously, who do you take after? Well, I guess the fault’s in having so many bad examples.”

There’s a figure behind Wataru-kun, who looks unhappy about being held up by the scruff of his neck.

I see dyed golden blonde hair. I know that colour.

“Kaname-san!”

I instinctively stand up.

“You’re back home?”

Kaname: “Yeah…. ahh, right.”

Kaname-san gives a slightly bashful laugh, releasing his grip on Wataru.

Kaname: “I’m home.”

The instant I hear those words, a flash of joy, the fragment of a memory, surfaces in my mind.

(That’s right….)

I remember what Kaname-san told me a year ago, the day he left for his training.

“Welcome back home, Onii-chan,”

I say.

Kaname: “.......”

Kaname-san’s smile freezes. After several seconds, a much bigger, far gentler smile spreads across his face in its place.

Kaname: “I see. You remembered. Thank you….. Imouto-chan.”

★☆★

Tsubaki: “Uwah, Kana-niii—. What’s up with that kasaya?”

As soon as Kaname-san makes his way into the living room, Tsubaki-san exclaims.

Tsubaki: “Whaa, it’s even more gaudy than your old one, ain’t it?”

Kaname: “Hm… I guess so.”

Kaname-san’s lips curl up into a smile.

Kaname: “I have to admit that I quite like it myself, though.”

Azusa: “Still, it looks as if it was awfully expensive.”

Azusa-san adds in from where he’s sitting beside Tsubaki-san. Kaname-san gives a pleasant smile at his comment.

Kaname: “This was a present from a parishioner.”

He then folds his sleeves to the side, revealing incredibly beautiful, intricate looking embroidery.

Kaname: “She made it specifically for an event tomorrow.”

Ukyo: “Event?”

Ukyo-san asks as he works at cutting a jumbo-sized roast beef.

Kaname: “A special memorial service at the temple.”

Ukyo: “Ah, I see. So it’s something of dubious decency, as usual.”

A wry smile rises to Ukyo-san’s face.

Usually, when this topic comes up, Ukyo-san gets irritated. But his demeanor today is different.

(He’s happy that Kaname-san’s back home, after all.)

Kaname-san continues speaking, his voice bright.

Kaname: “‘Club Buddha presents this special event in commemoration of Younin’s return. Limited to only the first 50 guests.’ …. ah, sorry, Kyo-nii. ‘M afraid it already happens to be all booked.”

Ukyo: “I wouldn’t go even if you begged me.”

Ukyo-san places a portion of roast beef onto a small dish.

Ukyo: “That aside, you’ve finally returned. I’m impressed– you must have taken your taken your ascetic practices rather seriously.”

Kaname: “Mmmm. Well.”

Kaname-san hesitates a bit.

Kaname: “In a way, if I could for a little longer–”

“Uwaaaaah–!”

Right as he starts to speak, Kaname-san’s words are drowned out by the sound of Wataru-kun’s voice as he bounds into the living room.

Wataru: “Amaaaazing, Kana-Kana. You look even cooler than before!”

He wraps his arms around Kaname-san and hugs him.

Kaname: “You think so? Thanks, Wata.”

Yuusuke: “Uhhh, more like he’s just gotten more an’ more like a host, hasn’t he?”

Yuusuke-kun says as he brings a large bowl of salad from the kitchen to the dining table.

Yuusuke: “Careful. If ya stick around him too much, you’ll become a womanizer just like your big bro, Wataru.”

Wataru: “You don’t get it, Yuu-kun.”

Wataru-kun’s mouth twists into a pout.

Wataru: “I’d be really happy to be like Kana-Kana.”

Yuusuke: “Hah?”

Wataru: “‘Cause Kana-Kana’s super popular with the ladies, and I wanna be, too.”

Yuusuke: “Uhhh….”

Wataru: “Besides.”

Wataru-kun sticks his tongue out at Yuusuke-kun.

Wataru: “Someone unpopular with girls like you talking bad about Kana-Kana— it just makes you sound jealouuuusss. Bleh—!”

Yuusuke: “The hell, you lil’ brat!”

Yuusuke-kun nabs up the large fork and knife he’d set down for serving the salad.

Yuusuke: “Don’t you move!”

Wataru: “Gyahhh—! Help meeee! I’m gonna get eaten—!”

Yuusuke: “Take this!”

Yuusuke-kun closes in on Wataru-kun.

Subaru: “Quit it, you two.”

Subaru says, exasperated.

Subaru: “Kana-nii’s just got back home and you’re already going at it.”

Kaname: “It’s okay, Suba-chan.”

Kaname-san cuts in.

Kaname: “I don’t mind. Besides, it makes me happy to see everyone messing around again after being away for so long.”

Yuusuke: “I ain’t really messing around—”

Masaomi-san’s voice rings out, interrupting Yuusuke-kun’s words.

Masaomi: “Alright, everyone, hurry up to your seats. The food will go cold, so let’s start, shall we?”

At that, everyone heads to the table.

Today, the Asahina family’s come together to throw Kaname-san a(n admittedly rushed) welcome home party. There are eight people present, not counting myself— Masaomi-san, Ukyo-san, Tsubaki-san, Azusa-san, Subaru-san, Yuusuke-kun, Wataru-kun, and Kaname-san himself.

Since it was rather sudden, getting everyone together was difficult. But with Yuusuke-kun’s help, we managed to gather over half our siblings here for the occasion.

“You’re forgetting about me, Chii!!”

— Ahh, sorry.

That’s right. Juli’s here, too, sitting at the end of the table. He’s sitting happily on a cushion that Louis-san handmade for him.

The moment anyone gets anywhere near me, though, he jumps up and starts making a horrible face.

(….. I really, really hope he doesn’t cause a big scene.)

Whenever Juli gets heated up, he tends to get out of hand. Since Louis-san isn’t here today, I’m worried about there not being anyone to help calm him down.

Tsubaki: “Hey, Kana-nii. Let’s drink this today, yeah?”

Tsubaki-san’s holding a bottle of wine with a questionable label.

Kaname: “Oh, nice, Tsuba-chan. How thoughtful—.”

Tsubaki: “I bought it~. Azusa’s the one that picked it out, though.”

Azusa: “..... I just thought it would be nice if everyone could have fun together.”

Ukyo: “Kaname. Just to be sure, you do still have your monk’s qualifications, do you not? You didn’t return home only after being excommunicated?”

Ukyo-san’s voice takes on a slightly sharper tone. Masaomi-san then speaks up again.

Masaomi: “Everyone, let’s leave the chitchat for later. Here, your glass…. Alright, then, welcome back, Kaname!”

And thus the party officially starts.

At first, everyone had been silent while cooking– probably because the circumstances and reasoning behind Kaname-san’s sudden return are unknown.

But with enough time, alcohol starts to take its effect on everyone, loosening them up as the atmosphere grows more relaxed.

Tsubaki: “Woooww, this wine’s suuuuuper good–. Hey, hey, wanna try some, Azusa?”

Azusa: “Tsubaki, didn’t you buy this wine as a gift for Kana-nii?”

Tsubaki: “It’s alriiiiight, it’s just a little bit. I’m the one who paid for it, after all~. ….. C’mon, have some!”

Azusa: “Okay…. Oh, wow, it really is good.”

Tsubaki: “Right? Alright, alright, let’s drink up, drink up~.”

Ukyo: “So, you want to start a company? First, I’d highly recommend finding a competent lawyer. One like me, for example.”

Wataru: “I don’t want someone scary like you, though, Kyo-tan. I’d rather have a pretty girl.”

Ukyo: “Why is that? You shouldn’t let yourself be fooled by one’s looks. Even the most beautiful of roses has thorns– you’d do well to remember that. You shouldn’t let yourself be fooled–”

Wataru: “Waaahh, Kyo-tan’s eyes are scary~”

Masaomi: “Ukyo, are you drunk? You keep repeating the same thing over and over again…”

Yuusuke: “Hey, you, you’ve only been filling up other people’s plates. Lemme return the favour, eat up a bit. Here, let’s getcha some salad, some— owww! The hell’s up with this squirrel!”

“Get away from Chii!! You never know when to give up, even after getting rejected thousands of times, you damn male!”

….. It doesn’t feel exactly peaceful, though.

I suddenly spot Subaru-san leaving the living room, and realize that he’s heading to the front terrence.

(Huh? I wonder what that’s about.)

Kaname: “Hey, Imouto-chan.”

At that moment, Kaname-san calls out to me.

“Yes…. what is it?”

Kaname: “Well, it’s…”

Kaname-san lowers his voice.

Kaname: “I think that Suba-chan might be a little drunk.”

“Eh?”

Kaname: “If you don’t mind, do you think you could bring him some water?”

“Oh, I understand. Of course.”

Kaname: “It’d be a huge help.”

Kaname-san gives me a smile.

Kaname: “Thank you, Imouto-chan.”

At that smile, the feeling that something’s off wells up in me.

– Kaname-san’s smile.

There’s a smile that he wears when he wants to hide his true feelings. And right now, the way he’s smiling– so overwhelmingly gentle– that’s the smile that he’s giving me.

(But if that’s the case, what feelings are he trying to hide….?)

I think on it for a moment, but nothing comes to mind.

(Hmmm… I guess it can’t be helped. More importantly, I want to bring Subaru-san some water as soon as possible.)

I fill a cup up with water, and hurry out to the terrace.

(Uwaah, it’s cold.)

It isn’t windy, but the air’s still chilly. Compared to the heated living room, it feels like a freezer outside.

I see Subaru-san basking in the cold air, his body leaning over the terrence’s railing.

“Um, Subaru-san.”

I call out as I approach him. Subaru-san slowly straightens his body up.

Subaru: “..... oh, it’s you.”

“Um, are you doing alright?”

Subaru: “Yeah. What’s up?”

Subaru-san’s face looks puzzled. I explain,

“Um, well, you had some alcohol, and…. Kaname-san asked me to bring some water to you.”

Subaru: “Ah…. ah, I see.”

Subaru-san turns towards me.

Subaru: “No, I did get carried away drinking while talking to Kana-nii. Sorry for worrying you.”

“Oh, not at all. But wouldn’t you rather head back inside? It’s pretty cold out here.”

Subaru: “Ah… nah, I wanna stay out here a little longer. Cool my head.”

After he says this, Subaru-san takes the glass of water from me and drinks it all in one big gulp.

Subaru: “Thanks.”

Subaru-san lets out a big sigh as he hands the glass back to me.

“Are you okay?”

Subaru: “....... yeah.”

“Well, make sure not to stay out here for too long. I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

Once I say this, I go to head back inside.

Subaru: “Wait up.”

Subaru-san says.

Subaru: “I’ve got something I wanna say.”

“Eh?”

I turn around and see Subaru-san now standing away from the railing.

Subaru: “It’ll be short. I won’t keep you long.”

“That’s okay, but…?”

Subaru: “Alright. Thanks. Hear me out, then.”

Subaru-san’s standing in a spot that the light that shines through from the living room doesn’t quite reach.

His figure looks like a thin outline in the darkness.

Subaru: “I’ll be heading to Miyazaki soon.”

“Oh, that’s right.”

The professional basketball team that Subaru-san’s set to join is based in Miyazaki, Kyushu. Since joining the team means a lot more responsibilities, Subaru-san plans on moving there before graduation to get used to things.

Subaru: “Before that, I want to spend a day out, relaxing with you.”

(Eh…?)

Subaru-san’s expression is obscured by the darkness.

But I can feel his gaze on me all the same.

Subaru: “So, would you be okay with that?”

His voice isn’t loud. But I can hear it clearly all the same. It’s clear, direct.

….. Spending a day together.

(That…. That sounds like it would be a date, wouldn’t it….)

I don’t give an immediate reply.

I know that in this sort of situation, the best thing to do is reply right away.

But Subaru-san confessed to me back when I was still in high school, and I’ve yet to give an answer to his feelings.

Considering, how am I supposed to react to him asking me out on a date?

(...... but….)

If he wanted an answer, he’d ask for it.

I don’t think that has to do with what Subaru-san’s asking right now.

(In which case…..)

Subaru-san’s words echo in my mind.

“I want to spend a day out, relaxing with you.”

(That…. what does he mean by that?)

At that moment, I come to a realization.

Subaru-san’s been super busy with graduation coming up and prepping for going pro.

Because of this, I haven’t been able to have a proper, calm conversation with him in a while.

And when he moves to Kyushu, the chances for us to spend time together will be even fewer and more far between.

(..... that’s right.)

I finally find myself understanding the meaning behind Subaru-san’s words. And I realize that they’re important for me, as well.

I haven’t given him an answer yet. But I can’t just keep on like this forever.

And for things to change….. I think that I need to start to get knowing everyone more.

Not just as family– but as members of the opposite sex.

Otherwise, how else am I ever supposed to come up with an answer for them?

Furthermore, Subaru-san is going to be moving away soon. It would be rude to miss out on an opportunity to get to spend time with him, to get to know him more, knowing that.

Having thought on it, I give my answer.

“Understood. Yes, I accept.”

I say. Then, there’s a moment of silence before Subaru-san responds,

Subaru: “Great. Thanks.”

His voice sounds truly, genuinely happy. I can’t help the smile that spreads across my cheeks.

“No, thank you for inviting me. I’m looking forward to it.”

Subaru: “Oh, no need to be so formal. Makes me kinda nervous.”

Subaru-san leans back against the railing again.

Subaru: “So, got anywhere specific you wanna go?”

As soon as the words come out of his mouth, a cold wind blows towards the terrace, making my hair sway with the force of it.

Subaru: “No, we can figure that out later. Right now, it’s probably best that you head back in. It’s getting real cold now.”

“Right.”

At Subaru-san’s insistence, I return to the living room first.

After a little longer, Subaru-san joins me.

Subaru: “I’m gonna head back up to my room. We can talk more about where we wanna go tomorrow.”

“Got it.”

Subaru: “..... see you, then.”

With that, Subaru-san exits the living room and leaves down the hallway.

★☆★

After seeing Subaru-san off, I make my way into the kitchen.

I still need to clean up after the party.

Once I enter, though, I’m met with the majority of the plates and silverware having already been washed.

(Huh? Who did this?)

Right as I think this, the door to the hallway opens.

Yuusuke: “Oh, it’s you.”

“Yuusuke-kun?!”

I notice that there are splashes of water on his clothes.

“Yuusuke-kun, are you by chance the one who cleaned up here?”

Yuusuke: “Yeah. I’m almost done with washing all the dishes. The trash was full, so I just finished throwing it out.”

“You did this all by yourself?”

Yuusuke: “Can’t be helped.”

Yuusuke-kun gives a suffering smile.

Yuusuke: “Everyone else’s already left.”

Yuusuke-kun counts on his fingers as he speaks,

Yuusuke: “Masa-nii, Kyo-nii, and Kana-nii’re all out drinking. Tsuba-nii and Azu-nii’re both in their rooms. And Wataru snatched up your pet squirrel and went off who knows where. Probably his own room, now that I think about it. So, yeah.”

Yuusuke-kun points to the pile of dishes.

Yuusuke: “That means you’d have to clean up all by yourself when you got back. I thought that’d be pretty difficult, so I figured I’d lend a hand.”

“Really?! Wow, sorry. Thank you.”

At this, Yuusuke-kun gives a slightly embarrassed grin.

Yuusuke: “‘s no biggie. I’m free today anyways.”

Yuusuke-kun heads back over to the pile of dishes and grabs a nearby washcloth.

Yuusuke: “More importantly, where’d ya head off to so suddenly?”

“Oh, I was chatting with Subaru-san for a bit on the terrace."

Yuusuke: “With Suba-nii?”

Yuusuke-kun’s face shifts a bit.

Yuusuke: “You were chattin’ out in the cold? What, were you two talking about some sorta super secret date or something?”

“Well… not quite.”

Yuusuke: “Not quite?”

Yuusuke-kun reaches for a plate– the giant one that the roast beef was served on.

“He invited me to go out somewhere with him.”

Yuusuke: “Eh?”

Yuusuke-kun suddenly turns around. The moment he does, the platter he was holding slips from his fingers.

“Yuusuke-kun!”

Yuusuke: “..... woah!”

The second before the plate’s about to hit the floor, Yuusuke-kun manages to grab a hold of it.

Yuusuke: “Haaaah, man, that was close, real close.”

Yuusuke-kun takes hold of the plate again, and begins to wipe it down with the dishcloth.

Yuusuke: “So, didja say yes?”

“Mhm. Subaru-san’s gonna be leaving for Kyushu soon. I think it’ll be nice to get to spend some time with him before then.”

Yuusuke: “Ah, right. …. yeah, that’s right.”

Once Yuusuke-kun is done cleaning the dish, he sets it back down on the counter.

Yuusuke: “Well, make sure you have fun then, yeah?”

“..... yeah, okay.”

I nod. Then, I add,

“Thank you.”

Yuusuke: “.... ‘course.”

After that, there’s a short pause. During which, Yuusuke-kun silently cleans up more dishes and utensils.

I realize that I’ve just been letting Yuusuke-kun do all the work.

“Ah, I can take it from here.”

Yuusuke: “Hm? Nah, it’s cool, there’s only a little bit left. I’ve got the rest.”

“No way.”

Yuusuke: “Huh….. alright then.”

Yuusuke-kun says,

Yuusuke: “Let’s do it together. I can do the washing, and you can wipe everything down. That way we can finish up fast.”

As he says this, Yuusuke-kun hands me the dishcloth he’s holding and turns back to the sink.

★☆★

Subaru: “This is my first time eating something like this.”

Subaru-san looks down at the crepe in his hand as he speaks.

“Me too. Pumpkin and strawberry’s kind of a weird combination for a jam, don’t you think?”

Subaru: “No, that’s not what I meant.”

Subaru-san’s face looks troubled.

Subaru: “This is my first time eating this sort of thing in general.”

“Eh, really?”

Subaru: “Guys don’t really eat crepes. Especially not out.”

“...... is that so.”

Subaru: “But it’s really good. Sweet.”

“Oh, hold on. If you eat it like that, the cream’ll spill– it’s best to hold it from the bottom, like this.”

Subaru: “Oops.”

Subaru-san sidesteps the cream that was about to spill onto his clothes.

(Woah, that was fast.)

Subaru: “This is hard to eat. No need to be so shocked, I dunno how to really eat it ‘cause I haven’t had it before.”

“Ah, that isn’t it. It’s just that you dodged that cream so fast….”

Subaru: “Huh? Cream? What’re you talking about?”

Suddenly, I hear the sound of people giggling nearby.

(...... ah.)

There are people passing by, looking at us with fond eyes.

Subaru: “You wanna go somewhere else?”

“S-Sure.”

We break away from the crowd and head towards the edge of the plaza.

“The sea is beautiful, isn’t it.”

Subaru: “Yeah. The weather’s nice, too.”

We ended up agreeing to go to Yokohama this weekend.

At first we talked about going somewhere in Kichijōji, but Subaru-san offered to drive, so we decided to take a bit of a trip.

We’d parked a little ways away, then walked to the Red Brick Warehouse. The weather this weekend is nice, so there are a lot of other people here.

We’ve been strolling around the harbour for about an hour.

We’ve been chatting while ambling along side by side– mostly about trivial things, like the jam we had earlier– just spending our time taking it slow and relaxing together.

(I’d really glad I decided to come.)

Subaru: “Come to think of it, Natsu-nii took me to Yokohama before, a long time ago.”

(...... eh?)

Upon hearing his words, memories of the time Natsume-san took me to Yokohama resurface in my mind.

He’d taken me here to celebrate and eat and play a game in early release, right after I’d graduated from high school.

(What a strange coincidence.)

Subaru-san continues.

Subaru: “I don’t really remember why he brought me, but I do remember getting my train ticket and being told not to lose it, or else I wouldn’t be able to get back home. This was back in elementary school– I must’ve been in around first or second grade, I think.”

“I’m guessing he just barely had enough money for the train fare home.”

Subaru: “I guess so. ….. But,”

Subaru-san gives a wry smile,

Subaru: “I ended up clutching onto it way too tightly. It got all wrinkled, and the ticket gate couldn’t read it. Freaked Natsu-nii out real bad.”

“Really? Were you two okay?”

Subaru: “I don’t really remember what happened after that, but I do know that the two of us got back home in the end. How, though, remains a mystery.”

“Ahaha!”

I laugh without thinking. At this, Subaru-san’s expression shifts.

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh.”

Subaru: “Huh? Oh, no, I don’t mind. It’s just that your laugh, it…”

“Yes?”

Subaru: “No, nevermind. It’s nothing.”

Subaru-san looks up at the sky.

Subaru: “Anyways,”

His voice is small,

Subaru: “That kind big brother, I…. I ended up hitting him.”

Subaru-san chews at his lip. At that moment,

“Huh? Asahina-san, ‘s that you!?”

I hear a voice call out, and look to see a man rushing up towards us.

“It’s been a while! I’m Sugimoto, from Senshu University!”

The man bows deeply at Subaru-san.

Subaru: “Huh? …. Ohh! What’re you doing here?”

“Ah, well, I was here with my girlfriend, but we kinda got into a bit of a fight. I called her cell, but she hasn’t been answering, so I’m looking for her.”

Subaru: “You alright?”

“Well, if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, I guess. There’s a limit to someone like me’s charm with women.”

Sugimoto-san turns towards me.

“It’s nice to meet you. You must be Asahina-san’s girlfriend, right?”

Subaru: “Eh?”

“Eh?”

“Hi, I’m Sugimoto from Senshu University! I’m always so grateful for Asahina-san’s help.”

After saying this, he bows deeply again. At my confusion, Subaru-san explains,

Subaru: “He’s one of my juniors in basketball. We go to different schools, but we’re in the same league, and we both play the same position. We practice together sometimes.”

“Oh, really?”

Subaru: “Sugimoto’s a regular on Senshu’s team even though he’s still a second year. He’s a good player.”

“Please, stop that.”

Sugimoto-san waves his hand exaggeratedly.

“Asahina-san, I’ll die of embarrassment if you say stuff like that.”

Subaru: “Now you’re the one exaggerating.”

“No, I’m not!”

Sugimoto-san’s tone changes.

“I’ll never forget my first game against Asahina-san. It was a total defeat on my team’s end, but I remember thinking about how amazing Asahina-san is– thinking that he could definitely go pro one day. And that’s what ended up happening!”

Subaru: “I-I guess.”

(Wow…. Sugimoto-san really respects Subaru-san, huh.)

Sugimoto-san must be very skilled in order to be a regular player on the team in just his second year. Still, he has nothing but admiration for Subaru-san.

I think that goes to show just how good of a player Subaru-san is.

“By the way, Asahina-san,”

Sugimoto-san says,

“You’re heading to Miyazaki soon, right?”

Subaru: “Yeah.”

“Then that means that your girlfriend’ll be going with you too, right?”

Subaru: “O-Oi,”

Subaru-san speaks in a flustered rush,

Subaru: “What’s with this all of a sudden? No, she’s….”

“Hey, no need to be embarrassed, Asahina-san. You two seem to really go well together. The perfect star couple!”

Subaru: “Sugimoto!”

Subaru-san shouts out. At that moment, Sugimoto-san’s cellphone rings.

“Oh, sorry, it’s my girl. Well then, Miss Girlfriend, sorry for bothering you. You too, Subaru-san. Have a good one!”

And with that, Sugimoto-san runs off.

Subaru-san sighs.

Subaru: “Seriously, that guy.”

He then looks at me.

Subaru: “Sorry about that. Sugimoto’s a good guy, but he can be a lot at times.”

“Oh, no…. Don’t worry about it.”

After I say that, I’m left no denying the fact that the atmosphere’s gone awkward.

Subaru: “H-Hey.”

Subaru-san suddenly speaks up.

Subaru: “Do you like ferris wheels?”

“Ferris wheels?”

Subaru: “Look, over there.”

Subaru-san points behind me. When I turn around, I’m met with the sight of a giant ferris wheel. I recognize it as the Cosmo Clock 21, a famous ferris wheel in Yokohama that’s often depicted in TV.

Subaru: “Since we’re already here, how about we go ride it?”

“Ah, sure.”

I reply, eager to try and escape the awkward silence.

Subaru: “Cool. Let’s go, then.”

Subaru-san starts walking towards it. I follow him, a step behind.

★☆★

Once we get to the ferris wheel, we need to present our tickets to ride. As we do, the attendant says,

“Alright, line up here, please. I’ll take a special photo to commemorate your date~.”

“Eh?”

Subaru: “.....”

“Move a little bit closer~. There we go, that’s good. Wooow, the two of you make such a cute couple~.”

Going with the flow, the two of us decide to take a commemorative photo together. As we do, I notice Subaru-san growing more and more flustered.

Shortly after, the gondola reaches the floor and its doors open for us to enter.

“Let’s go, Subaru-san.”

Subaru: “O-Okay…”

The inside of the gondola is pleasantly spacious. There’s enough space for the both of us to sit opposite of each other, face to face, with no problems.

Even after we settle inside, though, Subaru-san’s face remains flustered.

Subaru: “...... ‘m gonna die.”

He says this softly under his breath before going silent.

Eventually, the gondola starts to move, and the Yokohama landscape is spread out beneath us.

I’m looking out at it when Subaru-san suddenly speaks up.

Subaru: “I’m really happy we came here today.”

Subaru-san looks at me.

Subaru: “I said it before, but I really wanted to spend more time with you before moving to Kyushu.”

“Yeah. I was thinking the same thing.”

I answer.

“Which is why I’m happy we came here together, too.”

Subaru: “I see. Thank you.”

After that, there’s a short lull in the conversation.

Subaru: “But the truth is,”

Subaru-san glances outside,

Subaru: “I had other reasons, too.”

His gaze shifts back to me.

Subaru: “I’ve been wondering about what you think of me, lately.”

“?”

Subaru: “You’ve been worried a lot recently, right?”

Subaru-san leans forward a bit.

Subaru: “The first time was that night you came back home with Yuusuke.”

“Oh….”

Subaru: “And then there was that time when I went to your room to give you my notes.”

“..... right.”

Subaru: “Both times, you were struggling with something you couldn’t tell me about.”

“Oh, uhm, that’s….”

I struggle to come up with an explanation. Before I can, though, Subaru-san says,

Subaru: “No, I’m not trying to criticize you or anything. ‘S the opposite, really.”

“The opposite?”

Subaru: “You were struggling, and I couldn’t help you. I felt so pathetic.”

Subaru-san stares at the floor.

Subaru: “You couldn’t trust me enough to depend on me. I thought that maybe you thought I was unreliable.”

“I don’t think that at all.”

Subaru: “..... yeah.”

Subaru-san nods.

Subaru: “I know. You aren’t that type of person. But at the time, I couldn’t stop thinking about it that way. Looking back, I was being stupid.”

Subaru-san lifts his head.

Subaru: “I finally,”

As the words fall from his mouth, strength gradually starts to return to Subaru-san’s voice,

Subaru: “Finally realized that today. When I saw you laugh.”

Subaru-san sits up.

Subaru: “Your laugh was such… such a relief.”

“Eh?”

Subaru: “If that were really the case, you wouldn’t be laughing so cheerfully like that.”

“.....”

Subaru: “You’re capable of handling your own problems. Whenever I face any difficulties or troubles, I…. I get through them, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I’m doing it right. If maybe things would be better if I asked someone else for help or advice.”

The metal pole of the gondola obscures the sunlight, leaving Subaru-san’s face shadowed over.

Subaru: “So whenever I see someone struggling, I jump to the conclusion that they need help.”

“Subaru-san….”

Subaru: “Of course,”

Subaru-san keeps speaking, cutting me off,

Subaru: “There are times where you need help, too. But that isn’t something that I can force on you. The best I can do is answer when you need me, come when I’m called.”

The shadow over Subaru-san’s face disappears as it’s replaced with bright light instead, revealing his embarrassed expression.

Subaru: “At first, I wanted to come here with you to make some good memories before moving to Kyushu. But I ended up learning something important today, too. I really am glad that we came here.”

“...... Subaru-san.”

My heart fills with joy.

(The same goes for me, Subaru-san.)

Getting to know someone can be difficult. But it’s important, too– and I think I learned a little more about that today.

“Thank you, t–”

Just as I’m about to respond to Subaru-san, the gondola comes to a sudden stop.

Subaru: “Huh?”

“What happened?”

The gondola we’re in just so happens to be at the highest point of the wheel at the moment, swaying heavily along with the wind.

“T-This is normal, right?”

Subaru: “It should be okay—”

Right as Subaru-san goes to speak, a strong wind hits the gondola, causing it to rock violently.

“Kyah!”

Instinctively, out of fear, I jolt up.

Subaru: “Don’t stand up!”

(...... eh?)

The next few moments seem to play out in almost slow motion.

Subaru-san stands up from where he was sitting across from me, and starts to slowly move towards me. Despite the rocking of the gondola, his steps are steady.

Subaru: “It’s alright.”

Subaru-san sits down next to me. He wraps an arm around my back, supporting me.

Subaru: “It’ll just be a little while longer. Then we’ll start moving again. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Subaru-san’s voice is strong. He speaks with a firm certainty. And I’m sure that a bit of rocking is hardly going to break the gondola, or blow it away.

…. but even though I might know that logically, it doesn’t stop the illogical fear I feel. Yet another strong wind blows against the gondola, sending it rocking in a different direction this time.

“Ah!”

I move on reflex.

Before I realize it, I’m clinging to Subaru-san’s body.

(Ah…..)

I hurriedly go to pull away from him when,

Subaru: “Why….. does it always happen like this.”

His voice comes out strangled. The next moment, Subaru-san’s arms are wrapped around me, squeezing me into a tight embrace.

(Eh…..?)

I hear Subaru-san’s voice.

Subaru: “Hey… do you remember going to the vacation home in Nagano?”

His voice sounds somehow pained.

Subaru: “I feel the same way about you as I did back then.”

(...... ah.)

That’s right. It’d been getting dark out, so I was rushing back home when I slipped on a rock.

If Subaru-san hadn’t saved me, I’d have either fallen into the river or hurt myself on the rocks.

Subaru: “And at the flower viewing, too.”

“......”

Subaru: “When you came to my match at Yoyogi… back at my 20th birthday party…. and every other time with you.”

An emotion that wasn’t there before seeps into Subaru-san’s voice.

Subaru: “I haven’t forgotten any of them.”

Subaru-san’s arms tighten.

Subaru: “I told myself I’d wait for you. That no matter how far away we are from each other, I’d wait for your answer.”

Subaru-san’s hand brushes against the back of my head.

He guides my head away from his chest.

And I’m met with the sight of Subaru-san’s face in front of me.

Subaru: “Today…. I just thought of today as a way of making new memories together. But I learned even more and more about you, which… and….”

His rambles trail off. There’s a slight pause before I hear his voice again. And when I do, it’s far clearer than before.

Subaru: “I love you.”

Subaru-san hugs me.

“Su….. Subaru…. san…”

Subaru: “At this rate, I won’t be able to go to Kyushu. Not like this. …… which is why I’m begging you,”

There’s a short silence before Subaru-san says,

Subaru: “Let me kiss you.”

My heart is pounding, my chest tight.

Subaru-san looks at me. I feel his hold on me grow stronger.

At that moment, there’s a sudden jolt, and the gondola begins to move again, no longer stationary.

After passing the top of the ferris wheel, the gondola slowly starts to descend again.

(I….. I……)

★☆★

It’s a little after 11pm. I’m alone in the living room playing some video games when I hear the sound of the door to the hallway open.

Kaname: “Ah, I guess I didn’t make it in time after all.”

“Welcome back home, Kaname-san.”

I press the pause button on my game and stand up from the sofa.

“You must be tired. Would you like me to get you something to eat?”

Kaname: “No thanks, I already ate with some parishioners. If it isn’t much trouble, could I have some tea, though?”

“Of course.”

I head to the kitchen, and return with some tea.

“Here you go.”

Kaname: “Ah, thank you. So, how was Suba-chan’s farewell party?”

“It was lively. Not as wild as your coming home party, though, Kaname-san.”

Kaname: “I see.”

Kaname-san takes a sip of tea.

Kaname: “Mn, delicious. As expected from Imouto-san’s tea.”

“Thank you.”

Kaname: “Suba-chan’ll have to leave early in the morning, won’t he?”

“Yes. Apparently he has to go somewhere before catching his plane. And since the first train of the day won’t get him there in time, he’ll have to take a taxi.”

Kaname: “Hmmm. That’s going to be rough.”

Kaname-san sets his teacup down on the table.

Kaname: “By the way, Imouto-chan.”

“Yes?”

Kaname: “You don’t happen to plan on staying up until then, do you?”

“What?”

Kaname: “As in,”

Kaname-san smiles,

Kaname: “So that you can see Suba-chan off.”

“Kaname-san…..”

Kaname: “Perhaps Suba-chan’s the one who asked you to. And you, of course, agreed to, Imouto-chan.”

“.......”

I’m unable to hide my surprise.

A week has passed since our trip to Yokohama, meaning Subaru-san’s finally going to be heading off to Miyazaki tomorrow.

Since he has to leave early tomorrow morning, we held his farewell party this evening. After it ended, Subaru-san had requested something of me.

Subaru: “I know it’s gonna be really early, but could you see me off?”

And I’d said okay.

…. In other words, what Kaname-san’d said was spot on.

But I haven’t told anyone about Subaru-san asking me to see him off. So how does Kaname-san know that was the case?

“Um, Kaname-san.”

I say.

Kaname: “Yes?”

“How’d you know about Subaru-san?”

Kaname: “Ahh, you see.”

Kaname-san laughs slightly awkwardly.

Kaname: “You went to Yokohama with Suba-chan recently, right, Imouto-chan?”

“Um…. yes.”

Kaname: “Well, the day I came back home, before my welcome party, he asked me for some advice. Suba-chan, I mean.”

“Eh?! Why, about what?”

Kaname: “It’s alright, it’s alright.”

Kaname-san lightly raises his hand up.

Kaname: “I didn’t tell him to do anything. Suba-chan wanted to ask advice on what’s to come.”

“What’s to come?”

Kaname: “That’s right. With Suba-chan going away, he’s been worried about a lot of things.”

Subaru-san feeling worried? ….. that’s the first time I’m hearing about this.

Kaname: “Distance can be daunting, after all.”

Kaname-san slowly leans against the sofa.

Kaname: “Let me give you a hypothetical.”

Kaname-san continues, his gaze fixed on the ceiling,

Kaname: “For example, let’s say you like someone, and you confess to them. But you haven’t gotten an answer from them yet.”

“O-Okay.”

Kaname: “And let’s say you still haven’t when you end up moving far away, somewhere like… America, maybe.”

Kaname-san closes his eyes.

Kaname: “Of course, cellphones and the internet exist. But even they have their limits. They’re no replacement to being with someone face to face. So, with that in mind, what do you think would happen?”

Kaname-san opens his eyes, his gaze moving to me.

Kaname: “You still haven’t received a reply yet– the relationship between the two of you left off on an unknown. So, if there’s ever a time for any reason that you go a while– maybe a week, maybe more– without contact, wouldn’t you start to get nervous? Wondering if maybe they ended up choosing someone else?”

“Well, I guess it would be hard not to.”

Kaname: “Exactly. It would, wouldn’t it?”

Kaname-san slowly stands up.

Kaname: “And when you’re feeling anxious about whether or not you’ll be chosen, someone else suddenly comes up and confesses to them. How would you feel if that happened?”

“I-I…. I’d start to wonder if they wouldn’t choose me, if they’d choose them instead.”

Kaname: “Right.”

Kaname-san smiles.

Kaname: “The human heart is a complex, delicate thing. It can be just as strong as it can be weak. You never know which it’ll decide to be, when.”

Kaname-san’s gaze softens.

Kaname: “When you’re close to someone, you can recognize the slightest of differences in them. But when you’re far away from them, you can’t even notice the biggest of changes.”

Kaname-san closes his eyes again.

Kaname: “That’s what it means to leave.”

We fall into silence. Kaname-san’s face is calm, but it also seems solemn in a way that I can’t quite place.

Finally, he slowly opens his eyes again.

Kaname: “I’m sorry, that conversation took a bit of a weird turn.”

Kaname-san stands up.

Kaname: “Today was rather tiring, so I’m gonna go get some rest. Thanks again for the tea.”

Kaname-san leaves the living room.

(What he was saying just now….?)

I feel as if my mind’s in a haze.

I think I understand what Kaname-san was saying. It’s only natural you’d have anxieties over leaving the person you love behind.

I understand why Subaru-san decided to ask Kaname-san for advice.

But somehow, something’s still bothering me. Nagging at my mind.

I’m not sure what, though.

I glance at the time.

There’s still around four hours until Subaru-san’ll be leaving.

(I still feel wide awake. I guess there’s no helping it– I’ll just have to stay up.)

I pick my controller back up and unpause my game. But it’s only a few minutes before I stop playing again.

I can’t concentrate, not with Kaname-san’s words still playing over again in my head.

(Kaname-san, why’d you suddenly decide to bring that up?)

★☆★

Subaru: “Sorry again that it’s so early.”

Subaru-san says.

It’s just before four am, and it’s still pitch dark outside.

Subaru-san’s luggage is already loaded into the taxi. All that’s left is for him to get in, too.

“No, it’s alright. Don’t worry about it.”

Subaru: “If you’re sure, then. Thanks.”

The conversation breaks off. Subaru-san lightly clears his throat. Then, he says,

Subaru: “Yokohama was really fun. I had a good time.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Subaru: “I wanna go again. I mean, not anytime soon, of course.”

“Right.”

Subaru: “But sometime. …. Sometime, eventually, for sure.”

The conversation trails off again. Subaru-san doesn’t say anything else. He just stares at me, instead.

I’m not sure how long it’s for, but soon enough, the taxi lets out a brief honk.

Subaru: “I’ve gotta get going.”

Subaru-san climbs into the taxi.

“Safe travels.”

I reply right as the door closes.

The taxi then drives off. It’s only a matter of seconds before it drives out of sight.

For a moment, I stand in place, motionless.

(Subaru-san’s gone.)

My mind feels stuck on this fact.

I can feel my fingertips start to go numb. Since it’s still early in the morning, it’s cold outside.

(...... I should head back inside.)

I go back into the first floor, and wait for the elevator to arrive before stepping in.

(Yokohama, huh.)

Memories from a week ago, when we went, resurface in my mind. Despite the fear I’d felt on the gondola, it’d been a fun day.

(I’d like to go again someday.)

Right when I think this.

(...... hm?)

A question pops into my mind.

(Someday, when I get the chance…. but when will I get the chance?)

Subaru-san isn’t here anymore.

So there’s no saying when exactly the next chance to go will be.

Until today, we’d lived under the same roof– I could see him whenever I wanted.

But that isn’t the case anymore.

I suddenly feel a sense of anxiety well up in my mind.

It’s an unfamiliar feeling. One that I didn't feel when Kaname-san, or Iori-san, or Fuuto-kun left.

Maybe it’s because when they left, I’d clung onto a subconscious thought in my mind.

– That one day, they’d come back.

We’re family, after all.

But the anxiety I’m feeling now feels somehow different.

For some reason, the emotions I’m feeling right now– the word “family” doesn’t quite encompass them.

It’s the first time I’ve ever felt them before.

(Just…. what in the world is this?)

[literaticat]

How do editors decide how much to offer? Are they given a certain budget? Is the finance dept present during acquisition meetings?

I've never been an editor, and I'm sure it can vary somewhat from publisher to publisher, but based on what I know:

The editor is not just whimsically deciding on a number in a vacuum. They certainly have a budget, and they would typically have to fill out a P&L (profit and loss statement). I don't know if finance department folks are literally in the acq meeting, but they would certainly be in the mix at some point to review the P&L.

The P&L is a form that indicates the costs associated with the book (printing a full color 32-page PB will cost a different amount vs a 350 page hardcover novel with sprayed edges and maps and fancy cover treatment vs a 350-page mass market paperback on inexpensive paper, for example.) -- and how much they will sell the book for -- and how much money they think the book might make, using examples of comp titles / other titles by the author / other titles they have published in a similar vein, etc.

So for example, a full color nonfiction picture book costs X to create, print, warehouse, advertise, distribute, etc, including a standard advance for this kind of book and this kind of author. (debut vs track record, fiction vs nonfiction, etc etc)

It will be priced at Y amount.

In order to JUST recoup the investment, we would clearly have to sell Z units of books.

Based on what we know about how similar kinds of books have done, what the "market" is like, etc -- this particular book might be reasonably expected to sell much worse than that amount (in which case they probs wouldn't offer!) -- or, this book we would expect to do at least that well (in which case they might make that "standard" offer for that particular kind of book/situation) -- or, this book has the chance to blow it out the water (in which case they might make a higher offer).

THE MATH PART (This is where I expect 99.9% of you to totally tune out, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention it)

One kind of "quick and dirty" way to come up with a number is to think of this math problem. Cover price x # of units x royalty rate = how big an advance would have be to earn out if they sold that number of units. (This is not the be-all-end-all of math problems -- a real P&L has way more to it than this! -- but this might help with perspective)

So for example: you are the author of a picture book; your royalty rate is 5%, and the retail price is 17.99, and it's a smaller niche publisher and they think they might only sell 4000 copies -- I'd guess your advance would be somewhere around $3.5k. 17.99 x 4000 x .05 = 3,598. If you sell 4000 copies, they will have broken even and you'll have earned out your advance, anything more than that will be gravy.

If you are the author of a big YA fantasy novel that will be priced at $20, and your previous books all sold 50,000+ copies, and your royalty rate is 10% -- well, 20 x 50000 x .10 = $100k

You can also flip this around with division. Let's say you got an advance and you want to know how many copies you'd have to sell to earn out. You know these facts: The book is $20, your royalty rate is 10%, and you got 100k advance. 100,000 / .10 / 20 = 50,000 -- at the normal retail price you'd have to sell 50k units to earn out. (That doesn't count subsidiary rights sales and such, which could of course contribute greatly to earning out as well!)

[lol-jackles]

https://www.theinformation.com/articles/apple-streaming-losses-top-1-billion-year Seeing the news and considering that Apple has produced good shows like Severance and Silo, I am surprised by the amount of losses they have incurred. I understand that this platform does not have as much popularity worldwide as Netflix or Max, but the figures really surprised me. What do you think about this? So far, I've only seen that news, but I assume that Netflix, due to its popularity, is one of the platforms that doesn’t have as many losses. However, I think their budget for some productions is excessive, such as the recent movie starring Millie Bobby Brown and Chris Pratt, The Electric State, which has a budget of $320 million and won't even be released in theaters. Considering the directors and that Millie Bobby Brown is a talent associated with Netflix, plus her last film was among the most-watched globally, I guess the budget is high, but $320 million?

Then there’s HBO, which has very good shows, both old and recent, that tend to receive positive reviews and acclaim. You’ve already talked about the consequences of streaming on the industry, but I wonder how it is that some platforms experience significant losses while others allocate higher budgets than many feature films. There are extremes in terms of money management.

The biggest difference is Netflix and HBO/Max have to succeed in entertainment because that's all they have, it's the only way they make money.   Netflix famously said that they wanted to become HBO before HBO became Netflix via Max.

Apple and Amazon are tech companies, not entertainment companies. What's $7 billion in annual costs for TV programming (and losing over $1 billion) at a company that generates more than $500 billion in sales?

There are 3 phases to the streaming business:

Phase One: Everyone decided to lose their minds and dump millions into shows that didn't have a chance in hell of being profitable.

They borrow money from Silicon Valley banks, getting into massive debts by making a whole bunch of shows that nobody watches in order in order to crowd out competitors. 

The glut of tv shows drive up cost. I read that shows for Penny Dreadful: City of Angels and Perry Mason were filming at the same time, but there were only so many wardrobe houses with 1930’s period clothes.  So more had to be shipped in from other places, driving up the costs. That’s just one example of how all the massive amounts of shows being filmed for the different platforms were driving up the costs of making shows.

Phase Two: Profitability. This means less shows, and an introduction of advertising.   So you aren’t getting unlimited content for 10 bucks a month forever. The math never made sense.

Phase Three: Streaming Wars.  Production spending falls to below 2022 levels.

[thelampisaflashlight]

Working retail, especially when it comes to the price setting side of things, you start to realize why certain things cost more, and you're like, either, "That's reasonable considering what it is." or "Bro, why the fuck does this cost so much??"

There are definitely products they boost up, because they know people have to/will 100% buy it regardless of the price; It's usually stuff that's necessary and/or popular enough for people to mentally justify the cost, but then there's the shit where it's like, "Why the fuck is this $11.99??"

Most stores use a x1.4 or x1.5 mark up based on their cost, so bigger retailers who can afford to do wholesale/get large amounts of a product at a time get it for a lower base cost, and thus can sell it for less.

The price has to make up for the cost, aka you have recoup the loss and make a profit on top of it in order to stay out of the red.

However, some products are definitely marked way, waaayyyy higher to maximize profit.

It's like, okay, You have a product that costs the store $40/per, so you sell it for, say, $56, cause that's an x1.4 mark up, it recoups your lost and, theoretically, you make a $16 profit, which means you have money to put into paying for more product/to pay your employees.

But, being realistic, it's not just $56, it's more likely $56.99,and then there's tax, and tax varies depending on where you're at, but let's say you're in Florida.

Florida (at least as far as I know) has a 6% sales tax, that's roughly 6 cents for every dollar, or .60 cents for every $10.

So the actual cost to the customer is closer to $60.41, because you'd be paying roughly 3.40~3.42 for tax.

That's why that bag of peanuts that's $21.99 comes out to $23.31 at check out.

Something, something, math.

[ectogeo-rebubbles]

Poll: Timing of the Siskarak fling that definitely happened at some point for sure

If you don't think Garak and Sisko ever banged then this is maybe just not the post for you. <3 If, on the other hand, you think they did bang, but not at one of these specific moments, PLEASE DO tell me about the scenario(s) you're imagining in the tags or replies or reblogs or whatever, bc I ABSOLUTELY want to hear about it!!!! <3 <3 <3

DETAILED EXPLANATIONS OF THE POLL CHOICES:

pre-canon: The crackiest one by far. We know that Garak was at the Cardassian embassy on Romulus at some point before canon, based on Broken Link. According to a deleted scene (therefore DEF not actually canon facts, just for fun lol), Sisko was at the Federation embassy on Romulus at some point before canon. YOU DO THE MATH

post-Profit and Loss: "Oh, and if you'd like, stop by the shop one day. I have a number of suits that would look quite flattering on you." We all know from Past Prologue that this is Garak's fave pickup line.

post-The Search part 2: Sisko has a charged little conversation with simulation!Garak in the Replimat, including many sly smiles and the line "Mr. Garak I never knew we thought so much alike." This could easily be the moment when Sisko realizes Garak's attractive.

approx. The Way of the Warrior: Remember how Garak offered Sisko a new suit earlier? This ep involves Sisko cashing in on that, and making Garak do a fitting for him in the wardroom to pass him information. Maybe once the crisis has passed they do a more private fitting, if you know what I mean. Or maybe they've already hooked up before The Way of the Warrior, and that's why Garak makes that expression of interest when Sisko call him up to the wardroom and asks him to bring his tailor's kit (thinks it's another booty call).

approx. Favor the Bold: This ep is where it's mentioned that Garak is temporarily stuck hanging out on the Starbase, and it also happens to be when Sisko is working from an office there. So the hookup would not necessarily happen during this ep, but just when they are in similar conditions of being the only Niners left behind on the Starbase. Garak is starting to cooperate more extensively with Starfleet than he ever has before (he even has some anxiety and paranoia during Favor the Bold that could be taken as a precursor to his more severe breakdown in Afterimage). But yeah what could better symbolize his desperate the-enemy-of-my-enemy-is-my-friend sort of cooperation that he now has with Starfleet than to sleep with Sisko. <3

In the Pale Moonlight: Exhibit A, this meme of a screenshot from ITPM that features the text: "they call it committing murder because it’s a commitment. it’s a more serious commitment than marriage." Enough said. <3 ^_^ I mean, who WOULDN'T get turned on by all that shady plotting and scheming, whew! Not to mention the inherent intimacy of sharing a dangerous secret.

[whiteeyes-is-a-mad-scientist]

Big sci fi lore dump

@mango-water I never pass up an opportunity to explain my sci fi lore. I tried to sort the images into groups to better explain.

(first 5 images) So big chunk of this world started with an oc named plum who i made very quickly before a comic class. She works with the 7 vulpes who kinda keep the whole universe running. Shes from a planet that has been destroyed and she doesnt remember much of. The 7 vulpes work within our solar system as it is the least populated so staying hidden is easy, the hall of fox (5th photo) hides nicely here. Plum is the newest member as Neptune, her teacher, disappeared. The others arent fond of this as plum doesnt quite know what shes doing yet. Plums main weapon is a button that holds a bunch of evil creature souls, these souls bend and morph into any weapon she needs. While helpful this almost makes her greatest enemy the god of monsters (not shown in any images) Her other enemy is currently her husband Walter (3rd photo) as after the destruction of his planet and what he thought was the loss of his wife he fell to evil influences. Hes currently on a path of pure destruction and is loosing himself, he doesnt even know the hero who keeps stopping him is plum.

(images 6-9, slighty shown in image 12) Sun dogs! The strongest protectors of the galaxy... or at least they were before they grew so distant that many think of them as only legend now. Sun dogs are women from all planets and world chosen by the stars (a goddess like figure but she prefers not to be referred to as such, thinking of her as a mom is much prefered) Most of these sun dogs live on a hidden planet named Olvora but some like Elanor (girl in the 12th image and comic at the bottom) grow up on different planets and make their way to Olvora later. The queens (image 7) Lo'uk yel and Puk na' ashaya (names are from a vulcan name generator i have not made a language for the sun dogs yet lol) teenage friends turned lovers. Lo showed great leadership and skill quickly becoming the previous queens apprentice. Lo gained popularity quickly and Puk felt she needed to impress lo too, so she hopped in the ring and sadly bit off more than she could chew. It did lead to her confessing feelings tho. The two have a very professional royalty look but behind closed doors they still have a lot of alien cats and giggle over movies n romance books. Some other notable sun dogs include the blue robot lady (image 9, whos name i still need to pick out) she was badly injured and thought she had lost the ability to shift into her sun dog form forever but with some help from a cyborg she was able to regain the spirit she needed. The trapped sun dog (image 6, also needs a name) a long forgotten warrior who was captured a long time ago. She now powers a ship with a mysterious captain whos not up to anything good. Lastly theres the torn one whom we will get into later

(images 10 and 11) Sonia and Ovvus. Sonia was the first human to make contact with others. Her first contact being with Ovvus a head scientist and communications officer on one of system x's many exploring fleets. The two are how the other planets got info on humans and how humans got info on the other planets. Earths government isnt very fond of system x nor the other planets and has stayed to itself, while many humans have left the planet and moved due to distrust in the earthly government. (on earth everything has kinda melded into one government and if you have money you have the loudest voice in choices. Many have found that exploration, invention, and creativity have haulted in favor of profit.) The two recently had a son, Orion, which has become everything their life revlolves around. The two rarely go on months long exploration jobs any more and stay on Torbin in their little farm home.

(images 12-14) System X! A big piece of the entire lore. All started on lined paper in my sophmore year math class. The mother planet (the biggest one) has the other 4 planets revolving around it. in order: Geutune (the dusty eye), Torbin (the green planet), Dostruga (the hungry giant), and Zinus (the icy planet). each unique in there own way. The system of planets moves throughout the universe absorbing stars, destroying enemy fleets with ease, and overall being a pretty intimidating force. Thankfully leadership on system x has always kept fair and does its best to provide for its citizens. Each planet has a ruler but those rulers report to the sovereign on the mother planet. Most if not all of the rulers have a council elected by the citizens of each planet.

(images 15-18) Qex are originally from the mother planet and are still the most populous on the planet. When designing them they had a opossum and nebula influence. Zets originate from Geutune. Their legs are built for sand and speed which comes in handy on the dusty planet constantly whipped by wind. As you can tell they are very rabbit based lol. Drok originate from Dostruga and they had a dragon and octopus inflence. Dostruga has a lot of giant creatures and plants making muscles and extra appendages a must. Drok use their tendril hair to express and pick up things often. Thron originate from Zinus. was thinking about unicorns and horses when making them. They often have a lot of hair to keep warm on the icy planet, the extra claws help to grab onto snow, and their horns can glow when they need light. (not pictured below) but the Tez'le originate from torbin. They have anntenna and 4 arms. Very bug based to match their plant covered planet

(images 19-21) Some concept pieces of various things. Otherworldly battle horses with sci fi armor. Sun eaters, a species of mindless beasts that devour suns. A big threat to the universe as they are giant and unstoppable. The only known weakness they have is sun dogs. Usually these beasts are solitary so they dont pose too much of a threat other than the occassional attack on a sun that is warming a planet, but in groups they are very destructive. Walter, plums husband, is currently pushing these beasts toward each other, creating a giant hoard of them. Theres no telling how many stars this group will be able to devour. A dragon warship. The concept art was made for a different planets warship but it might become a design for a system x style one

(all the last images) A comic I made in my last comic class i could attend. its a 12 page thing so I couldnt fit it all here but this is where the sun dog plot line is currently left off. The torn one is a sun dog general who was sucked into a blackhole but managed to escape its grasp. not without injury though. Her features were enlongated and her old heroic leader self was gone. The general turned on her troops and destroyed them all. She was unable to be stopped due to her unstable core which could go supernova any second. Elanor wasnt fully aware of this and fought the sun dog anyways. The battle worked up the torn one enough that her core couldnt sustain her and blew up.

OK THATS ALL MY RAMBLING FOR TODAY lmao im so sorry there is so much and its a big ol mess rn

plus theres so many other little tid bits that I didnt include 😭🙏

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Quark

By Ames

Do you have the lobes for business? This week, we’re putting our knowledge of the Rules of Acquisition to the test with one of our favorite Ferengi characters: Quark! He really does it all: he tends bar, he runs a profitable casino, he romances ladies who you’d think would be way out of his league, he snarks with a certain gooey chief of security, and he schemes! Boy, does he ever scheme.

The Ferengi overall are a bit of a mixed bag, what with their ultra-capitalist, extremely misogynist society, but Quark proves throughout Deep Space Nine to be a complex and well-written person, full of contradictions and character growth. So read the full contract below and listen to this week’s podcast episode (jump to 55:53) as A Star to Steer Her By takes a seat next to Morn to try to catch the ear of the bartender. Come to Quarks, Quark’s is fun, Come right now, Don’t walk: Run!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Make him an offer he can’t refuse Ferengi-centered episodes are typically goofball comedies and worth a laugh or five, and “The Nagus” gets us off to a quite funny start. Quark’s performance as Zek’s successor is full of funny little touches, and the allusion to The Godfather with Quark stroking a gilvo as if it were a lapcat is a good joke indeed. Quark would make a fine nagus, I say. And a decent godfather.

Who wears the clothes in this relationship? Quark may start out as a typical Ferengi, but we see glimpses of his development to becoming a better person due to hanging around all these hoomans. In “Rules of Acquisition,” he’s prepared to pay Pel ten bars of latinum to set her up in a new life, and then outthinks the Nagus when she reveals herself as a female. It’s a small step, but a big one for a Ferengi!

Being with you was the happiest time of my life Somehow, Quark is at his best when paired with reciprocating love interests. In “Profit and Loss,” (not to be confused with “Profit and Lace”), he earnestly attempts to get Natima Lang to safety when the Cardassian government is after her for being a dissident. Sure, it starts off one-sided and creepy, but Natima and Quark’s love turns out to be mutual and really sweet!

Behold the power of math! Yet again, we’re highlighting an episode in which Quark is romantically paired with a kickass female and he comes out looking swish! Not only does Quark battle D’Ghor in “The House of Quark,” but he also exposes the fraudulent bookkeeping D’Ghor had done for Grilka’s house. Quark allows Grilka, one of our favorite Klingons, to realize her agency and be her best.

If they want their money back, give it to them? People give Sisko all the credit, being the Emissary and all that, but in “Prophet Motive” we get to see Quark go into the wormhole to talk to the prophets himself! To save Zek from whatever personality rewriting the denizens of the celestial temple had done to him, Quark takes it upon himself to ensure that Rule of Acquisition #10 remains true: Greed is eternal!

The bigger the risk, the bigger the win Quark’s lobes might only be rivaled by his spine, as he demonstrates an absurd amount of bravery when he disarms the bomb that had Kool-Aid Manned into the ship in “Starship Down.” The thrill of gambling with their lives is perfectly captured in the scene and you feel both the relief and exhilaration when Quark and Hanok don’t explode into little bits.

For a minute there I thought you were talking to me as a friend As we said in the Odo post, the relationship between the constable and the barman is one of the best explored in the series. We can read between the lines how much they respect each other but just can’t say it. So when Quark (in his jammies!) goes to Odo when he’s hurting over Kira in “Crossfire” and pretends it’s just for his business ventures, we all know what it really means.

I claim the Right of Proclamation One good episode with Grilka deserves another! When the ever-glorious Grilka comes to Quark seeking financial advice in “Looking for par’Mach in All the Wrong Places,” Quark goes above and beyond to win her favor. He even practices how to fight with a bat’leth and learns some of the basics of Klingon culture, all while remaining true to his Ferengi identity! Qapla’!

Let me pour you another By the time we get deep into the Dominion War, Quark is keen to play both sides, but he does his part for the little resistance band too. In “Behind the Lines,” he slyly gets Damar shitfaced enough to spill all the information he has about taking down the cloaked minefield. Like another good bartender I could name, Quark’s main role is to tend the bar and to listen.

Nobody moves except you Soon afterwards when everything in the resistance is going headlong downhill in “Sacrifice of Angels,” Quark practically single-handedly (okay, with Ziyal’s help) saves the day! He tricks a guard using a hasperat soufflé and then straight up shoots two Jem’Hadar goons and rescues everyone from the brig. If it’s not the first time Quark has deliberately killed, he sure plays it that way.

Ferengi can be just as tough as Klingons Quark’s choice to assemble an all-Ferengi elite squadron to rescue Moogie in “The Magnificent Ferengi” may seem hare-brained (it’s a goofy Ferengi episode, after all), but it also speaks to his pride in what Ferengi can accomplish. There’s also a pure familial love for Moogie that is worth all the latinum in the Nagus’s reward (minus the finder’s fee, of course).

My, what big ears you have Finally, Quark would want to flaunt how he turned out to be right in “The Siege of AR-558” when the standoff with Jem’Hadar soldiers results in massive casualties, including costing Nog his leg. But Quark staunchly protects his nephew and uses his superior Ferengi hearing to detect incoming Jem’Hadar soldiers and blow them away before they can finish Nog off.

—

Worst moments

A contract is a contract is a contract We could really, really, really have done without this detail. Sarda, one of the Dabo girls, reveals in “Captive Pursuit” that Quark has sexual favors written into their contracts. It’s one thing for the Ferengi to be misogynists and kinda sleazy, but it’s a whole other level for him to engage in sexual manipulation, harassment, and assault. And for the writers to play it as a joke!!!

You Ferengi, you think you’re so clever but you’re stupid We gave Bashir a pat on the back the other week when he saved Jadzia’s life in “Invasive Procedures” when Verad and his hired goons kidnapped the Dax symbiont. But remember that it was all Quark’s fault that these worm snatchers got onto the station in the first place! In his greed to make another illicit deal, Quark let them through the docking ring. All for a little latinum.

I’ve been waiting for you Can we all agree that it’s a bad idea for the holodeck to be able to create holo-images of real people because it will always get gross? Geordi did it in “Booby Trap,” Barclay did it in “Hollow Pursuits,” Odo did it in “His Way,” and in “Meridian,” Quark violates Kira’s privacy to create a sex object for that creep Toran and make a little profit, which is a running theme with him.

No nephew of mine is going to disgrace our family name by joining Starfleet The way Quark scorns Nog for wanting to follow his dreams and join Starfleet is also a pretty bad look for the boy’s uncle. First he tries to forbid Nog from applying to Starfleet in “Heart of Stone” and then he rigs up the holodeck to ensure he’ll fail his exams in “Facets.” Quark just comes across as an overstepping asshole when it comes to his nephew in these cases.

Quark’s Treasure, ready to depart Shocking no one, Quark is looking to make another deal in kemocite which he couches in generosity while bringing Nog to Starfleet Academy in “Little Green Men.” And of course this gets them stranded in the past in Area 51 for a while, breaking the Temporal Prime Directive and perpetuating the trope that Quark will put profit over his family members at any cost.

Great Exchequer, take me now! I like to call “Body Parts” “Missed Opportunities: the episode!” When Quark learns he owes his desiccated remains to Brunt, Quark just… gives up on life and plans to get himself killed by Garak. And this is supposed to be a comedy! This is so not in Quark’s character and I lament that we didn’t get an episode of Quark faking his own death, which would be infinitely funnier and better!

Why, Quark? Why did you kill my baby? While most of Quark’s schemes are just typical goofy Ferengi shenanigans you’re meant to roll your eyes at and accept with a snicker, Quark actually sidles up to committing atrocities when he gets into the arms racket in “Business as Usual.” When even Jadzia, who’s the most forgiving of his Ferengi ways, won’t talk to him anymore, you know he’s gone and done wrong.

Oo-mox for Fun and Profit After years of development into a slightly better person, and just when you start thinking “maybe that episode in which Quark put sexual favors in his Dabo girls’ contracts was a fluke,” “Profit and Lace” comes along. The teaser shows Quark asking Aluura to consider giving him oo-mox or he’ll consider firing her. And by the end when he should have learned better, he’s right back at it. VOMIT.

You’re the worst thing that ever happened to the entire Ferengi Alliance Speaking of “Profit and Lace,” there’s more to hate in this deplorable episode. Quark gets into a screaming fight with his mother, blaming her radical feminism as the cause of all their problems with Brunt dethroning Zek as nagus. It’s an ugly fight in an ugly episode, and Quark cruelly goads his own moogie until she has a heart attack, jeopardizing their plan to reinstate Zek. And nearly killing her!

The REST of “Profit and Lace” I’m not done shitting on “Profit and Lace.” It should be obvious why we rated it hands-down the worst episode of Deep Space Nine, and Quark’s depiction of Lumba is at the heart of it. It’s like Quark has never seen a woman before and concocts the most demeaning caricature. The hormones are inexplicable. The walk is atrocious. The whole thing flies in the face of any message of equality the show might otherwise champion, all for the sake of a Ferengi joke.

I loved Jadzia as much as anyone in this room After pining for Jadzia in season six almost as much as Julian, Quark weasels his way onto the mission to get her soul into Sto-vo-kor. Throughout “Shadows and Symbols,” it feels like all he wants is to one-up the grief of the actual widower in the room, Worf.  Quark makes Jadzia’s death all about him and whines that Worf isn’t gracious enough that he’s there being underfoot.

Someone has to speak up and I’ve decided that someone is me As if all the ogling of Jadzia wasn’t enough, poor Ezri gets targeted by Quark once she arrives on the station. Quark butts in and advises her not to get involved with Worf in “Once More Unto the Breach,” and it’s none of his damn business! The scene plays it off like it’s romantic and funny and cute, but it’s all self serving because he fancies her. Ugh, why did only men largely write this show?

—

All bets are final and there will be no reimbursements. That’s it for our Quark chat, but we’ve got more Ferengi characters to spotlight on the way (save me). So make sure you’re following along here, keeping up with our watchthrough of Enterprise over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, place your drink order over on Facebook and Twitter, and you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

[handmadehazefromtheheart]

The Re-Opening Of Handmade Hearts

It’s been an icy hot minute since I wrote a proper update, but I won’t complicate this one. The update series started with the presence of a workspace and the first shop opening; the second post was about the progress and success so far; the third was almost a year later because so much had happened, and I’d moved, and the store was on standby, and I was getting married, usw.

I’ve since not only moved countries, but I’ve also moved my main storefront from Ko-Fi to the Artisans Cooperative. (But you’ll still find patterns on Ko-Fi.) Like I have from the start, I do the math and show my work in the description of each item listing in a breakdown of the price: In bullet list form, I state the material costs, the platform fees, the time I’ve estimate I could most efficiently take to complete one of each item (which will almost always be less time than it actually took), and the wage per hour that I’m paying myself. If you add it all up, it’ll equal the price in the listing — minus a tax based on your area that the marketplace adds automatically.

There are six fixed shipping prices based on size and location, with the least expensive being within Germany and the most expensive being anywhere outside the EU. I’ve got two different sizes of box, but I really should get me some envelopes and offer a cheaper no-tracking alternative for certain (very small, mostly not-yet-existing) items.

Here are the listings so far!

(Photography by @ablondpanda)

I’ve done the math, and I have made just shy of 370€ in earnings in the time I’ve had Handmade Hearts open. I haven’t been able to work since 2019, so that’s 370€ in earnings within the last five years.

Ouch…

Ouch…?

Well, I have chronic depression, but I’ve managed to carve myself into an optimist; I’ve not had the chance to really grow yet as an indie seller, so having earned anything — not operated at a loss (at least within business expenses; general life expenses is another beast) — is a bright shining star to me.

My parter and I are waiting on job applications and government assistence. In the meantime, I’m hoping to gain more eyes and start making at least one sale every month in the middle and/or latter half of 2024.

I’ve yet to sell anything through the new storefront, so I’m trying to get more eyes on it. I’m considering opening a secondary storefront with Products With Love, a Germany-specific handmade marketplace, to get more eyes that won’t have to pay more than seven euros on shipping for any given thing.

Shipping is, unfortunately, not something I can do for free. To take a moment for personal politics: I really think mail should be one of those things governments work together to pay for and make free on the most basic level, like public infrustructure, roads and such. It shouldn’t cost $24 for me to send you a snake shaped neck pillow if you’re in the US.

That said, it does cost me 23€ (which is $24.53 as of writing this) to send you a snake shaped neck pillow right now. I want to emphasize that because it’s so common when shopping online to find something “underpriced” whose shipping is blown way up for profits, and I think sometimes it’s become habitual to assume that’s the case when shipping is over what Amazon would consider normal.

Another thing people do is including the shipping price within the price of the item to artificially remove shipping costs. That’s something I don’t do because A) I like transparency, and B) that would increase the platform fees you have to pay, increasing the overall price for no reason.

Ultimately, I hope that the way I do things helps people be more mindful of why things cost what they do.

To close out...

In preparation for posting this update, I’ve uploaded my tenth listing on the Artisans Cooperative marketplace. For my trans siblings, and for the pedants who have noticed that none of my wares have hearts on them: