#RWBY Shitpost

[ficretus]

[howi99]

(Warning, smut ahead! i repeat; smut ahead!)

Nora: *speaking with team RWBY, laughing, opening the door to her team's dorm* -Pyrrha was blushing do much, she- *noticing Pyrrha and Jaune SAVAGELY going at it, closing the door as quickly as she could* ...

Yang: *confused* What's wrong?

Nora: ... Remember how i said Pyrrha confessed yesterday?

Yang: Well duh!? You were telling us how it happened just a second ago!

Nora: *gulp, blushing* Yeah, i think she was kind of pent up, because i literally saw Jaune's bed broken in half and the door to the bathroom is broken too.

Weiss: *scoff* Nora, to think you'd invent something so ridiculous. *Open the door* There's no way-

Pyrrha: *full volume, not caring at all about being heard* FUUUUUUUUCK! JAUNE, I'M CUMMING! I'M-

Weiss: *close the door, red like a tomato* ........ W-well... That's... I...

*sound of "something" hitting the door*

Weiss: ...

*sound of "SOMETHING" hitting the door multiple times, with audible grunts being heard as well*

Blake: Holy- How long will they go at it!?

Ren: *going back from a walk, noticing Nora and team RWBY in front of the dorm* ... I assume they still haven't finished?

Yang: *turning towards him, also red like everyone else* WHAT DO YOU MEAN "STILL"!?

Ren: Well, they started kissing this morning, then i came back around an hour later and they were having... Intercourse.

Weiss: BUT ITS 5 IN THE AFTER NOON!!!

Ren: *shrug* I think i heard Pyrrha scream something about Jaune having discovered his semblance and how they'll go at it all day. I just told them to not touch our beds, because i was not going to open that door when i heard, and i quote; "It's like a cow getting milked".

Pyrrha: *muffled by the door, yet still clearly audible* YES, GIVE ME YOUR BABIES! MAKE ME YOURS!

Jaune: *grunting heavily*

Pyrrha: *screaming his name in pure bliss*

...

...

...

Nora: ... *knock at the door*

Jaune: *Opening the door, covered in bite marks and scratches, wearing a pair of short* Hey guys, wassup?

Nora: *goes to speak*

Blake: Can i get whatever you just gave Pyrrha?

Ruby: *who stayed stunned all that time* Blake, what the hell!?!

Blake: *shrug* What? You can't tell me you ain't curious on what can make the invincible girl sing like a canary!!

Ruby: *the same color as her name* Not with my friend, no!

Jaune: ... *Looking at Nora* So uh... You need anything or?

Nora: Yes, my innocence back.

Jaune: *wince* Sorry, i honestly just wanted to hold hands for a while.

Nora: *grabbing Ren's arm* And the room, for the next hours.

_ _ _

Pyrrha: *sitting in team RWBY's dorm with Jaune and team RWBY* ... *Hide her face in her hands* I can't believe it, i'm so sorry!

Yang: Hey, don't sweat it. From what i glanced, i'm 70% sure i would have screamed even louder than you.

Weiss: ... *Blush, scooting closer to Jaune* So, about those romantic feelings-

Jaune: *deadpan* I was looking for a romantic partner, not a friend with benefits. You missed your chance.

Weiss: *sigh* Figured.

Blake: Anyway, who started-

Jaune: *point Pyrrha* Her. *Chuckle* I was planning on going on a romantic date, but holding hands triggered something in her.

Pyrrha: *blushing* You looked so adorable! I just couldn't stop myself! Your stupid smile and your beautiful eyes and- *looking to the side* I need to calm down or i'll go at it again!

[ferreetbunbunnie]

In my mind, Weiss is a Roblox menace

Ever since Ruby and Yang introduced her to it at least

[dreamymaccready2287]

Blake: What are you working on, Ruby?

Ruby: *hunched over her desk* Elaborate plan to get Penny to kiss me.

Blake: ...instead of just asking?

Ruby: This is more autistic.

Blake: ...

Blake: Fair.

[monod1cot]

started watching RWBY

[notmaplemable]

Begin To Knowin'

Blake: We're never going to find the White Fang hideout in time.

Ruby: Don't give up yet.

Weiss: There has to be some way to locate them before the set off their dastardly plan.

Jaune: ...Hands, touchin hands.

Yang: Is there any like... secret markers to lead to their base?

Blake: Why would they have that?

Jaune: Rechin' out.

Yang: To show the way for new members or something like that.

Weiss: I'd assume they'd already know where the base was at if they were members.

Jaune: Touchin' me.

Ruby: Maybe they do and you have to be a faunus to see it?

Blake: Ruby, no.

Jaune: Touchin' you.

Ruby: Oh, what if they left a trail of bread crumbs!

Weiss: That is the single dumbest-

Jaune: SWEET CAROLINE!!!

White Fang: *Muffled* BUM BUM BUM!!!

Adam: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

[pmpknsoup]

[eviltomb]

[yusayemalol]

I'm so so bored so have so NND

[epic-arc]

prompt, jaune having to deal with Wiess trying to either buy and/or steal his pet, jeff the land shark , cause he is both cute and she is a fan of sharks

Ruby would enter the cafeteria and see Jaune drinking coffee and look to the side and see Pyrrha and Weiss playing with Jeff and then she would sit next to him with an expression of curiosity.

Ruby: Huh the two finally stop arguing about who gets to play with Jeff huh?

Jaune: I managed to reach an agreement that would please everyone heh.

Ruby: Oh, what was that deal?

Jaune would let out a light laugh but would blush slightly.

Jaune: I said jokingly, if they were both my girlfriends they would own Jeff heh..

Ruby would look at Jaune holding back a laugh and he would be completely blushing.

(If anyone add lancaster to this i will give them a cookie)

[rwac96]

(ask, original teacher au, funny bad flirt) what if jaune tries his shot on his professor, weiss?

Jaune: "Hiya, Professor Schnee, have you ever been called Snow Angel?"

Weiss: *unamused* "Amusing. Mr. Arc, how about you think about those words in detention?"

Nora: "At least ya tried."

Weiss: "Ms. Valkyrie, you'll be joining your leader in detention."

Nora: *angry* "Crap!"

[spectralpixelsredone]

RWBY Theory: Glyphs, Hallucinations, and Ancient Magic Connections

This theory explores the potential links between Semblances, Magic, and the characters Weiss Schnee, Emerald Sustrai, and Neopolitan (Neo) in RWBY. It suggests that their unique abilities—Glyphs, Hallucinations, and Overactive Imagination—may have deeper connections to Remnant’s ancient Magic, possibly hinting at their ties to the world’s forgotten past.

Magic in Remnant: A Brief Overview

Magic is a mysterious and ancient power that shaped Remnant’s creation. The Gods of Light and Darkness used Magic to form the world, and the God of Darkness granted the original Humanity the ability to wield it. After Humanity’s rebellion, the God of Darkness purged the planet, leaving no trace of Magic for the second era of Humanity. Only a few individuals retain access to this power:

Salem: As an original Human cursed with immortality, Salem wields powerful Magic, including energy blasts, telekinesis, flight, superhuman strength, clairvoyance, and the ability to manipulate shadows or summon cyclones. Her immortality allows her to regenerate from any injury, even complete destruction, though regeneration time varies.

Ozma/Ozpin/Oscar: Ozma, another original Human, possessed vast magical abilities, such as energy blasts, flight, and creating pocket dimensions (e.g., the Vaults). His reincarnations, including Ozpin and Oscar, retain some Magic, though it has dwindled due to creating the Maidens and repeated reincarnations. They can conjure energy barriers and fire energy beams.

Maidens and Branwen Siblings: Ozma used his Magic to create the Maidens and grant Qrow and Raven Branwen the ability to shapeshift into corvids, showing his ability to bestow magical traits.

Eddy Rivas confirmed in a Reddit AMA that Semblances and Magic are linked, though the exact nature of this connection remains unclear. This theory posits that certain Semblances, particularly those of Weiss, Emerald, and Neo, may reflect traces of ancient Magic.

Weiss Schnee’s Glyphs: A Magical Semblance

Glyphs, the hereditary Semblance of the Schnee family, are unique in their versatility and magical aesthetic. Unlike most Semblances, which are individualistic, Glyphs are passed down through the Schnee bloodline, suggesting a deeper, possibly magical origin. The Semblance manifests as snowflake-shaped symbols with various effects:

Propulsion: Glyphs can accelerate objects or people through the air or across surfaces, as seen in Players and Pieces.

Barriers: They can form solid shields, as Weiss did against the Boarbatusk in The Badge and The Burden, Pt.2.

Summoning: Weiss and Winter can summon avatars of defeated foes, such as the Arma Gigas or Queen Lancer.

Time Dilation: When combined with Lightning Dust, Glyphs can speed up actions, as seen when Weiss enhanced Blake’s speed in Painting the Town....

Power Source: In the RWBY x Justice League comic, Weiss’ Glyphs powered Victor Stone’s cybernetic parts, suggesting they generate centrifugal energy.

The Glyphs’ snowflake design mirrors the Schnee family symbol, which resembles Salem’s emblem, hinting at a symbolic or historical connection. Winter Schnee describes Glyphs as a “muscle” that grows stronger with practice, but their hereditary nature and magical aesthetic set them apart from typical Semblances. Their ability to manipulate time, summon avatars, and interact with Dust in unique ways suggests a closer tie to Magic than most Semblances.

Emerald Sustrai’s Hallucinations: A Mind-Bending Power

Emerald’s Semblance, Hallucinations, allows her to alter sensory information in a target’s mind, creating vivid illusions that only the target perceives. Unlike Neo’s illusions, which are visible to everyone, Emerald’s hallucinations are individualized. Key aspects include:

Versatility: Emerald can make targets see or hear things that aren’t there, as seen when she made Amber see an invisible attacker in Beginning of the End. She can also affect multiple targets, though this initially caused headaches.

Evolution: By Volume 8, Emerald’s Semblance has grown stronger. She can affect at least three people without strain (Witch), evade Grimm detection (War), and even influence Salem, a being of ancient Magic. She can also sense minds within a certain radius.

Weaknesses: Maintaining hallucinations requires concentration and Aura, limiting Emerald’s mobility. Subtle mistakes, like stirring dust while invisible, can break the illusion (Beginning of the End). Her Semblance is less effective against advanced cybernetic sensors, like Penny’s heat vision.

Non-Biological Targets: Emerald’s hallucinations work on synthetic beings (e.g., Penny) and cybernetic enhancements (e.g., Maria’s prosthetic eyes), though with limitations.

Emerald’s glowing red eyes, which don’t match her green hair, are notable. Many RWBY characters have eyes matching their hair, but Emerald’s solid red eyes glow when using her Semblance, suggesting a connection to something otherworldly. Her ability to affect Grimm and Salem, beings tied to ancient Magic, further supports this. Her lack of family or home adds mystery, possibly implying an origin linked to Remnant’s magical past.

Neopolitan’s Overactive Imagination: Illusions Evolving Beyond Limits

Neo’s Semblance, Overactive Imagination, creates physical illusions visible to everyone, which shatter like glass when broken. Her Semblance has evolved significantly, particularly after her fall into the Ever After, suggesting a connection to ancient forces. Key features include:

Basic Illusions: Neo can disguise herself or objects, as seen when she altered her appearance in Round One or disguised an airship in Our Way. Her illusions can mimic others’ appearances, voices, and expressions, as when she impersonated Nora in The Enemy of Trust.

Camouflage and Teleportation: Neo can blend into surroundings (Witch) or fake teleportation (No Brakes), enhancing her combat deception.

Evolution in the Ever After: After landing in the Abandoned Acre, Neo’s Semblance gained the ability to create tangible, semi-autonomous clones of herself or others (Rude, Red, and Royal). These clones can replicate abilities, weapons, and voices, as seen with Jabberwalker clones (The Parfait Predicament) and recreations of Penny, Pyrrha, and others (Tea Amidst Terrible Trouble).

Complex Constructs: Neo can create entire environments, like the Vanille Manor tea room, complete with functional furniture and weapons (Tea Amidst Terrible Trouble). Her clones can bleed and mimic personalities, blurring the line between illusion and reality.

Possession by the Curious Cat: When the Curious Cat possessed Neo, it used her Semblance with equal mastery, creating distorted Ruby clones and transforming Neo’s body (A Tale Involving a Tree).

Psychological Projection: Neo can project her psyche through clones, as seen when her Roman clone voiced her subconscious thoughts (Of Solitude and Self).

Neo’s changing eye colors (pink, brown, green) and her Dissociative Identity Disorder-like childhood manifestation of “Neopolitan” as a separate entity suggest an unstable, possibly magical origin. The Abandoned Acre, described as an experimental ground of the Gods, amplified her Semblance, implying Neo’s power may be tied to ancient Magic. Her ability to create life-like clones with abilities and personalities pushes her Semblance beyond typical limits, resembling magical feats.

Theory: Connections to Ancient Magic

The Semblances of Weiss, Emerald, and Neo share traits that suggest a link to Remnant’s ancient Magic:

Magical Aesthetics: Glyphs have a mystical snowflake design, Hallucinations affect even magical beings like Salem, and Overactive Imagination creates near-real constructs, all resembling magical effects.

Unusual Origins: Weiss’ hereditary Semblance, Emerald’s mysterious background, and Neo’s evolution in the Gods’ experimental ground hint at connections to Remnant’s magical past.

Eye Symbolism: Emerald’s glowing red eyes and Neo’s shifting eye colors align with RWBY’s pattern of unusual eyes indicating powerful or magical traits (e.g., Yang’s purple eyes tied to Raven’s spacetime-breaking Semblance and Maiden powers).

Versatility and Evolution: All three Semblances are unusually versatile and have evolved beyond typical limits, suggesting they tap into a deeper power source, possibly Magic.

Hypotheses

Weiss’ Glyphs: The Schnee family’s Semblance may descend from a magical bloodline or an ancient ritual tied to the Gods, explaining its hereditary nature and magical versatility. The snowflake symbol’s similarity to Salem’s emblem could indicate a historical connection.

Emerald’s Hallucinations: Emerald’s ability to affect Grimm, Salem, and synthetic beings suggests her Semblance may derive from a magical anomaly, possibly tied to her unknown origins or exposure to a magical artifact.

Neo’s Overactive Imagination: Neo’s Semblance evolution in the Ever After, a place linked to the Gods, implies her power may have been amplified by ancient Magic. Her childhood manifestation of “Neopolitan” as a separate entity could indicate a magical or supernatural origin.

Supporting Evidence

Eddy Rivas’ confirmation of a Semblance-Magic link.

The magical aesthetics and effects of Glyphs, Hallucinations, and Overactive Imagination.

The unique traits of Weiss, Emerald, and Neo (hereditary Semblance, glowing eyes, shifting eye colors, and Dissociative Identity Disorder-like symptoms).

The Abandoned Acre’s role in evolving Neo’s Semblance, tying it to the Gods’ influence.

Conclusion

Weiss’ Glyphs, Emerald’s Hallucinations, and Neo’s Overactive Imagination stand out as Semblances with potential ties to Remnant’s ancient Magic. Their versatility, magical aesthetics, and connections to unusual origins or divine influences suggest they may be remnants of a forgotten magical era. Further exploration of their backgrounds and the nature of Semblances could reveal how these powers bridge the gap between Aura and the lost art of Magic, deepening our understanding of RWBY’s world. (Raven and Ruby are other examples as well. ) Basically some are able to be much more connected to old magic than others

[drenosa]

Weiss: Ugh... Ruby really needs to start writing her messages out in full so I can actually understand that dolt! What does "TBH" and "IDK" even mean?!

Yang: To be honest, I don't know.

Weiss: Then why even bother answering my question?!

Yang: *Wants to clarify*

Blake: *Stops Yang whilst shaking her head*

[brokentrafficknight]

does willow then pass the adrian test by default on account of how filthy rich she is?

Willow passes because she was a good mom at one point

[dreamymaccready2287]

Jeanne: *poking her boob, mesmerized* You know, these things are pretty grand. Hrt is amazing.

Yang: I'm still pretty mad they're bigger than mine.

Jeanne: You're mad your girlfriend has bigger boobs than you?

Yang: *throwing her hands in the air in frustration* YES! I HAD MY GIRLS AND BLAKE HAD HER ASS! NOW YOU HAVE THE BOOBS AND BLAKE STILL HAS THE ASS! WHAT DO I HAVE NOW!?

Jeanne: *zero fucking hesitation* The most beautiful eyes in the world and the most stunning smile either of us have ever seen.

Yang: *blushing furiously* O-oh...

[howlingday]

Weiss: It comes from the law set in place that forbade little persons from ever having an orgasm. It's true! Read the Bible!

Nora: *sobbing* Please- Please come back to me Ren! I'm sorry!

~~~~~

Pyrrha: Jaune! You should have told me to stop! Why didn't you tell me to stop!

~In Valhalla~

Ren: ... Worth it.

Jaune: ... Definitely Worth it.

Fun Fact! There are two guaranteed ways into Valhalla. The First is Dying in Battle. The Second is Dying during Sex, specifically, "Dying Between the Thighs of a Maiden."

Fun Fact 2! In French, the Climax of Sex is called "Little Death." or something similar. I believe at least.