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#Reliable Fire & Security
vicsuragi · 2 years
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okay i finally watched an episode from the correct season of ordinary lies and i am so fucking confused that was such a 90 degree turn they took in the last 10 minutes.
#unfortunately i think this show might just suck#i might go back and watch joel's episode before my britbox free trial runs out but dear god. dear fucking god what was that#anyways con's episode was so fucky#i thought the head injury would play more into the episode and it would be revealed that he was having delusions or something#related to his head injury and once they learned about the cameras he set up they would confront him and reveal to the audience#that he wasn't an reliable narrator idk something like that#i think that would have tracked a little bit better instead of suddenly throwing 'btw his daughter was assaulted#and the perpetrator didn't face any consequences so now his wife hunts down predators in a little vigilante group#also his son is assaulting a minor lol bye'#and it ends on him telling another dad joke to his coworkers like they didn't just drop this massive story beat 9 minutes ago#it's extremely lazy and insensitive to just dump csa into the plot of this episode when it has only been about a man's worsening paranoia#after he installs security cameras in his home under the pretense that he believes his wife is cheating#also the cameras were made to look like smoke detectors and it appears that he replaced every smoke detector in the house with cameras#which i also thought would play more largely into the plot. like for instance. the house burns down or his family is caught in a house fire#bc he uninstalled their fucking smoke detectors#really what the fuck was this#i love trauma i love when multiple characters have suffered from a single event but dear god this was handled so shittily#it just inspires me to write better trauma that actually connects to the themes and plot of the story#and not just pull some horrific trauma out of my ass for the sake of a climactic plot twist
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woahmantic · 25 days
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The Fire Watch Advantage: Why Professional Security Services are a Game Changer
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In today's world, safeguarding assets and ensuring safety requires more than just standard security measures. The Fire Watch Advantage highlights how professional security services are a game changer for businesses and property owners. These experts provide comprehensive protection through rigorous surveillance, rapid response to incidents, and meticulous fire watch protocols. Unlike basic security, they offer specialized training, advanced technology, and a proactive approach to risk management. Their presence not only deters potential threats but also ensures compliance with safety regulations. By investing in professional security services, you gain a strategic ally committed to maintaining a secure and resilient environment. More information on West Palm Beach Florida Fire Watch Service FL.
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quickshipfireusa · 1 year
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astrocafecoffee · 2 months
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• Moon in Groom persona chart •
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✨ For entertainment purposes only, enjoy My lovelies ✨
• SUN IN GROOM PC
• MASTERLIST
~~~~~~~~~~~~~💖💖~~~~~~~~~~~~~
🌙 MOON IN 1ST HOUSE:
- Your future spouse will be deeply attuned to their emotions and those of others.They may have a charming and approachable demeanor, making it easy for others to connect with them on an emotional level. This sensitivity also lends them a strong intuition, allowing them to navigate complex interpersonal dynamics with ease.Creativity and imagination are likely to be prominent in their personality. They might express themselves artistically or through innovative thinking, bringing a unique perspective to any situation.they may gravitate towards careers where they can use their emotional intelligence and creativity. They might excel in fields such as counseling, psychology, art, design, or any profession that involves working closely with people's emotions and needs. Their nurturing nature could also lead them to professions where they can care for others, such as healthcare or social work.On the flip side, their deep emotional sensitivity can sometimes make them prone to mood swings or emotional fluctuations. They may need time and space to process their feelings, which can occasionally lead to misunderstandings if their emotional needs aren't met or understood by their partner.Their strong attachment to their independence and individuality might occasionally create a need for personal space and freedom within the relationship. They enjoy sharing their thoughts and feelings openly and value a partner who reciprocates this emotional depth. They may appreciate romantic gestures and expressions of affection that resonate on an emotional level rather than just superficial displays.They might enjoy activities that allow them to connect with nature or explore different cultures and philosophies.They can have moon in 1st house/ moon in Aries / moon in fire sign / moon in fire house in their natal chart.
🌙 MOON IN 2ND HOUSE:
-Your future spouse is likely to have a strong sense of emotional security and stability.This can manifest in their ability to provide emotional support and practical care in relationships, making them reliable and dependable partners.Their emotional connection to material possessions and financial stability may motivate them to excel in career paths related to finance, banking, real estate, or any field where they can use their practical skills to build security and stability.They may find satisfaction in activities that involve tangible results or artistic expression through craftsmanship, such as gardening, cooking, pottery, or home decorating. They appreciate beauty and comfort in their surroundings, often creating spaces that reflect their emotional warmth and aesthetic sensibilities.At times, their strong attachment to stability and material security can lead to possessiveness or overemphasis on financial matters. They may prioritize practical concerns over emotional needs in relationships, which could require open communication and understanding to maintain a balanced partnership.They enjoy activities that allow them to indulge in sensory pleasures and appreciate the finer things in life, such as gourmet dining, travel to beautiful destinations, or leisurely hobbies that bring comfort and relaxation.Their emotional fulfillment often comes from a stable and harmonious home life, where they can feel grounded and supported. They may seek a partner who shares their values and is willing to invest in building a secure and comfortable future together. They can have moon in 2nd house/ moon in Taurus/ moon in Earth house / Earth house in their natal chart.
🌙 MOON IN 3RD HOUSE:
-your fs is likely to be highly communicative and articulate, with a keen interest in intellectual pursuits and learning. This placement often indicates someone who is curious, adaptable, and enjoys engaging in conversations and exchanging ideas. They may have a knack for languages or writing, and their profession could involve communication, such as teaching, writing, journalism, or public relations.your future spouse is likely to be emotionally responsive and expressive, although they may also be somewhat changeable in their moods or emotional states. They value mental stimulation and may seek a partner who can intellectually challenge them and engage in meaningful discussions.This placement suggests a spouse who is supportive of your endeavors and who values open communication in the relationship. They may be nurturing and caring, particularly in how they express their emotions. However, on the negative side, they could be prone to overthinking or moodiness at times, especially if they feel emotionally unsettled or unbalanced.Their interests are likely to include reading, writing, socializing with friends, and possibly engaging in activities that involve short trips or frequent movement. They may enjoy hobbies that stimulate their mind or involve communication skills, such as debate, storytelling, or blogging.They are likely to enjoy deep conversations and may appreciate a partner who can challenge them intellectually. They can have moon in 3rd house/ moon in gemini/ moon in air sign / in air house in their natal chart.
🌙 MOON IN 4TH HOUSE:
- your future spouse is likely to be deeply connected to their family and roots. They may have a strong emotional bond with their upbringing, homeland, or ancestral heritage. Family values and traditions could play a significant role in their life and in the way they approach relationships.they are sensitive and nurturing. They may have a natural inclination towards caring for others, especially those they consider family or close loved ones.They may seek professions that allow them to work in environments where they feel emotionally secure and connected. Careers related to real estate, interior design, hospitality, caregiving, or working with children and families could be appealing to them. your future spouse is likely to be loving, protective, and deeply committed. They may be intuitive and empathetic, able to understand and respond to your emotional needs with sensitivity. on the negative side, they may sometimes struggle with moodiness or emotional insecurities, especially if they feel their emotional needs are not being met or if they experience disruptions in their home or family life. They may also be nostalgic or attached to the past, which can influence their decision-making and emotional reactions in the present. They may enjoy cooking, decorating their home, gardening, or spending quality time with loved ones. They may also have a strong interest in history, genealogy, or exploring their cultural heritage. They can have moon in 4th house/ moon in cancer / moon in water sign/ moon in water house in their natal chart.
🌙 MOON IN 5TH HOUSE:
- your future spouse is likely to be deeply in touch with their creative side. They may have artistic talents or a strong appreciation for the arts, such as music, theater, painting, or other forms of creative expression. This placement suggests that they find emotional fulfillment through creative endeavors and activities that allow them to express themselves freely.your future spouse is likely to be affectionate, romantic, and playful. They enjoy the excitement of romance and may have a natural charm that draws others to them. they may be drawn to careers in the arts, entertainment, fashion, or any field that allows them to express their creativity and passion. They may also enjoy working with children or in roles that involve mentoring and inspiring others.they are sensitive and intuitive. They may be attuned to their own feelings as well as the emotions of those around them. They seek emotional fulfillment through joyous experiences, romantic connections, and activities that bring them pleasure and satisfaction.they may sometimes struggle with emotional drama or fluctuations in their moods, especially if they feel their creative expression or need for fun is stifled. They may also be prone to seeking validation or attention through their creative pursuits or romantic relationships.Their interests and hobbies often revolve around creative outlets and leisure activities. They may enjoy hobbies such as dancing, playing musical instruments, participating in theater or performance arts, or engaging in sports and recreational activities that bring them joy and excitement. They can have moon in 5th house/ moon in leo / moon in fire sign/ moon in fire house in their natal chart.
🌙 MOON IN 6TH HOUSE:
- your future spouse with the Moon in the 6th house is likely to be very focused on their day-to-day responsibilities and obligations. They have a strong need for structure and organization in their life, and they may excel in roles that involve caregiving, service-oriented professions, or roles that require attention to detail.they may be drawn to careers in healthcare, nursing, nutrition, counseling, teaching, or any field where they can help others and contribute to their well-being. They may also have a strong work ethic and take pride in their ability to handle responsibilities effectively. your future spouse is nurturing and caring, especially towards those they work with or care for on a daily basis. They derive emotional satisfaction from being of service to others and may find fulfillment in roles where they can make a positive impact in practical ways. They value stability and may seek a partner who shares their practical approach to life and who appreciates their dedication to their work and responsibilities.on the negative side, they may sometimes struggle with perfectionism or becoming overly critical of themselves or others in their pursuit of efficiency and productivity. They may also experience emotional fluctuations related to their daily routines or work environment, especially if they feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities.They may enjoy hobbies such as cooking nutritious meals, gardening, yoga or exercise routines, volunteering, or engaging in activities that contribute to their personal growth and well-being. They can have moon in 6th house/ moon in Virgo / moon in Earth sign/ moon in Earth house in their natal chart.
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🌙 MOON IN 7TH HOUSE :
- your future spouse with the Moon in the 7th house in GPC places a strong emphasis on their relationships and partnerships. They may have a deep longing for emotional connection and seek a harmonious and balanced partnership where they feel emotionally supported and understood.They value emotional intimacy and may seek a partner who can provide them with a sense of security and emotional fulfillment. They may also be inclined towards compromise and cooperation in relationships, striving to maintain harmony and balance.they may excel in careers that involve working closely with others, such as counseling, mediation, law, diplomacy, or any field that requires negotiation and interpersonal skills. They may also have a knack for understanding others' emotional needs and perspectives, making them effective in roles that involve managing relationships or partnerships. They can also have a knack for beauty industry.They may seek a partner who complements their emotional nature and who values mutual respect and cooperation in their relationship dynamics.they may sometimes struggle with indecisiveness or fluctuating emotions in relationships, especially if they feel uncertain about their partner's feelings or intentions. They may also be prone to seeking validation or reassurance from their partner, which can affect the stability of the relationship if not managed consciously.Their interests and hobbies often revolve around activities that foster connection and understanding with others. They may enjoy socializing, hosting gatherings, or participating in activities that allow them to bond with their partner or close friends. They may also have an interest in psychology, relationship dynamics, or exploring ways to enhance communication and emotional connection. They can have moon in 7th house/ moon in Libra / moon in air sign/ moon in air house in their natal chart.
🌙 MOON IN 8TH HOUSE:
-your future spouse with the Moon in the 8th house of GPC experiences emotions in a profound and intense manner. They are likely to have a strong need for emotional depth and intimacy in their relationships, seeking connections that go beyond the surface level.they are deeply intuitive and may have psychic abilities or a strong interest in metaphysical topics. They are drawn to understanding the deeper truths of life and may engage in spiritual practices or seek transformative experiences that allow them to evolve emotionally and spiritually.they may be inclined towards careers that involve psychology, counseling, healing, research, or any field that requires delving into the depths of human emotions and motivations. They may also excel in roles that involve managing shared resources or handling complex financial matters.
They value trust, loyalty, and authenticity in their relationships, and they may have a profound ability to connect with their partner on an emotional and spiritual level. They may be protective of their loved ones and possessive of their emotional bonds. they may sometimes struggle with jealousy, possessiveness, or emotional volatility in relationships, especially if they feel threatened or insecure. They may also be prone to experiencing emotional crises or undergoing periods of intense transformation that can impact their emotional stability.They may enjoy practices such as meditation, astrology, tarot reading, or other forms of divination that provide insights into the hidden aspects of existence. They can have moon in 8th house/ moon in scorpio/ moon in water sign/ moon in water house in their natal chart.
🌙 MOON IN 9TH HOUSE:
-The 9th house in astrology is associated with higher education, philosophy, spirituality, travel, and long-distance journeys. Therefore, your future spouse with the Moon in the 9th house has a deep emotional connection to these areas of life. They are likely to be intellectually curious, philosophical, and spiritually inclined.They have a strong desire for learning and expanding their horizons, both intellectually and spiritually. They may have a broad-minded approach to life, valuing freedom of thought and exploring diverse perspectives.they may be drawn to careers in higher education, academia, law, publishing, or fields related to philosophy, religion, or spirituality. They may also excel in roles that involve travel, multicultural interactions, or promoting cultural exchange and understanding.They value honesty, authenticity, and philosophical discussions in their relationships. They may also seek a partner who supports their personal growth and spiritual development.they may sometimes struggle with restlessness or a desire for constant change or adventure, which can affect their stability in relationships or career choices. They may also experience emotional conflicts related to their beliefs or values, especially if they encounter differences with their partner or societal norms.They may enjoy studying languages, participating in religious or spiritual practices, or pursuing activities that promote personal growth and self-discovery. They can have moon in 9th house/ moon in Sagittarius/ moon in fire sign/ moon in fire house in their natal chart.
🌙 MOON IN 10TH HOUSE:
-your future spouse is likely to have a strong emotional connection to their career and their public image. They may prioritize their professional success and strive for recognition and respect in their chosen field.They are likely to be ambitious, driven, and goal-oriented, aiming to excel in their career and make a significant impact in their chosen domain. They may also value stability and success in their professional life, seeking positions of authority or leadership. they may excel in careers that involve public visibility, such as politics, business management, corporate leadership, government roles, or any field where they can utilize their organizational skills and ambition to achieve their goals. They may also have a nurturing and supportive approach to leadership, caring deeply about the well-being and development of their team or organization. They value stability and may prioritize their professional responsibilities, sometimes at the expense of their personal life. They may appreciate a partner who can balance their need for emotional support with respect for their career commitments.they may sometimes struggle with work-life balance or emotional vulnerability in their public persona. They may experience pressure to maintain their professional image or status, which can affect their emotional well-being or relationships if not managed consciously. They may enjoy networking, attending industry events, honing their skills through continued education or certifications, or engaging in activities that enhance their leadership abilities. They can have moon in 10th house / moon in Capricorn/ moon in Earth house/ moon in Earth sign in their natal chart.
🌙 MOON IN 11TH HOUSE:
-your future spouse places a strong emphasis on their friendships and social circles. They may have a wide and diverse group of friends who play a significant role in their life and who share common ideals and aspirations.they value their friendships and social connections deeply. They may find emotional fulfillment through their involvement in group activities, community efforts, or humanitarian causes. They are likely to be humanitarian-minded, caring about social justice issues and contributing to the well-being of others in their community or society at large.they may be drawn to careers that involve teamwork, collaboration, or working towards collective goals. They may excel in roles that require networking, social outreach, or organizing community events. They may also have a nurturing and supportive approach to leadership within their social or professional circles, fostering a sense of camaraderie and unity among their peers.They seek a partner who shares their ideals and aspirations, and who supports their involvement in social activities or community initiatives. They may appreciate a partner who can participate in their social life and who understands their need for independence within their friendships.On the negative side, they may sometimes struggle with maintaining boundaries in their friendships or with feeling emotionally detached in intimate relationships. They may prioritize their social connections or group dynamics over personal emotional intimacy, which can lead to challenges in their romantic relationships if not balanced effectively.They may enjoy networking events, community service projects, attending group meetings, or engaging in activities that promote social causes or collective growth. They can have moon in 11th house/ moon in Aquarius/ moon in air sign/ moon in air house in their natal chart.
🌙 MOON IN 12TH HOUSE:
- moon in 12th house of GPC suggests your fs is a person who experiences emotions deeply and profoundly, often in ways that are not immediately apparent to others. This placement indicates that your spouse may have a rich inner world where emotions, dreams, and subconscious thoughts play a significant role. they are highly sensitive and intuitive, often picking up on subtle energies and emotions around them. This sensitivity can make them compassionate and empathetic towards others' struggles, but it can also make them vulnerable to emotional overwhelm or feeling drained by the intensity of their own feelings. They may have a strong interest in spirituality, meditation, or practices that help them connect with their inner self and the spiritual realms. Their dreams and intuition may guide them towards understanding their purpose and finding inner peace. They may have a natural talent for music, art, writing, or other forms of creative expression that allow them to channel their deep emotions and subconscious thoughts. They value emotional intimacy and may prefer to build trust slowly, revealing their deeper emotions over time. They may also need a partner who respects their boundaries and supports their spiritual or creative pursuits.Challenges with this placement may include struggles with self-doubt, escapism, or difficulty confronting painful emotions that are buried deep within their subconscious. They may benefit from practices that promote emotional healing, such as therapy, meditation, or journaling. They can have moon in the 12th house / moon in Pisces/ moon in water house / moon in water sign.
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Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed.
-PIKO ✨
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fushitoru · 1 month
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chapter 2: the aftermath a bridgerton!au
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pairing ⸺ duke!satoru gojo x fem!reader
summary ⸺ dearest gentle reader, a new season is upon us as the ton gets ready for a season filled with drama, heartbreak, and passion. after being crowned diamond of the season, heir to a dukedom mr. satoru gojo⸺only looking to marry just to secure his inheritance⸺has his sights set on you, the easiest (and most obvious) option. later, when you catch his saying unsavory things about you on a terrace when he least suspected it, you swear to never marry gojo. as london's fashionable set goes through yet another wedding season, will there be hope for scandalous gossip, hate, and thinly veiled insults, or will we witness blooming love and passion?
warnings ⸺ nsfw, enemies to lovers, bridgerton au, angst, fluff, eventual smut, jealousy, misogyny, regency era au, gojo being infuriating, reader also being infuriating, both of them are clueless honestly
chapter summary ⸺ after an eventful first ball after your debut, you continue the season with thinly veiled vexation towards gojo. but fate is not on your side; you and gojo keep encountering each other, matching fire with fire (7.8k)
a/n some parts of this chapter broke my brain to write but i kind of had fun! as always thank you to @/sinn-claire for beta reading :p i was going to say i'll try to have weekly updates but i don't want to jinx it lol
prev. the debutante | next. the manor
general masterlist | series masterlist
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Dearest gentle reader, 
It appears that Her Majesty has bestowed the coveted title of this season’s Diamond upon none other than Miss Itadori, who has indeed lived up to her newfound acclaim as the incomparable of the year. At the latest ball, our shining Diamond was quite occupied, with suitors lining up in such numbers that one might have thought them to be queuing for the royal throne itself. Furthermore, blooms were budding between many of the debutantes and gentlemen, including…..
...Yet, one particular couple captivated the attention of all: none other than Mister Satoru Gojo and our season’s Diamond. After having kept his words sparse and his attentions limited to none, Mister Gojo appeared utterly taken with Miss Itadori, conversing with her intimately on the dance floor. It seems your humble Author was indeed correct⸺Mister Gojo has entered the marriage market. However, the exclusivity he has adopted may not deter the determined maidens he seeks to avoid, for the Ambitious Mamas will no doubt perceive his selectiveness as a challenge to be overcome. 
One cannot help but wonder if an announcement of particular interest will be made at the upcoming Gojo country house party. Although your Author has not yet laid eyes upon the guest list for the Duchess Gojo’s anticipated gathering, reliable sources suggest that nearly every eligible young lady of marriageable age will be journeying to Kent next week. The country house party is known to be a perilous affair. Married individuals often find themselves enjoying the company of someone other than their spouse, while the unwed frequently return to town betrothed with surprising haste.
Indeed, the most unexpected engagements often follow closely on the heels of such rustic diversions.
⸻ LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS
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Satoru had no intention of squandering his time this season⸺or at any time, for that matter.
The notion of love matches held little appeal to him, despite witnessing such a union firsthand in his own parents. Make no mistake, the Duke and Duchess Gojo enjoyed a happy marriage, and Satoru held both his father and mother in the highest regard. Yet, he was perfectly content on his own.
Being one of the strongest bachelors⸺both intellectually and physically⸺has been Satoru’s destiny. Ever since his ancestors had been blessed by the royal family with the dukedom, the Gojo family had made its goal to be the most powerful nobility and the closest to the royal family. (Which is still maintained in the status quo, because the Queen dotes on Satoru, inviting him for tea every fortnight. The Queen lavished him with overly sweet biscuits, and in return, Satoru provided her with the latest gossip from court). 
But this responsibility doesn’t get fulfilled without independence; one had to accept the solitary truth that to be truly great was to remain unswayed by the fleeting pleasures of the world⸺love included.
Satoru had little time or interest for the other vices that tempted men of his station, such as lust. Contrary to the whispers circulating among the ton, Satoru had never indulged in the life of a rake or frequented brothels as many of his acquaintances did. Really, the allegations were, in truth, merely just a byproduct of his appearance and demeanor; with a young man with the stature, face, and eligibility of Satoru, the public would immediately like to slap on the label of “rake” due to his arrogant personality. Moreover, any encounters he had witnessed between men and women⸺whether dropping his friends off at brothels in his carriage after an evening at the gentleman’s club or overhearing flirtations at parties⸺struck him as shallow and an utter waste of time, especially when he was already a week behind on the ledgers and other official matters his father had entrusted to him. (He did have one indulgence, however: a weakness for gluttony, with an array of sweet confections as his loyal companions during long, sleepless nights.)
Marriage was an even greater burden. The thought of being accountable for a wife, and eventually children, seemed like a daunting task to Satoru. With sleepless nights spent on covering just a fraction of the business his father must do as a duke, Satoru was tired. He was exhausted⸺exhausted from the weight of responsibility, from striving to meet his father’s expectations, from seeking the Queen’s approval, from worrying over what Whistledown might print about him, and from the gossip of the businessmen with whom the Gojo family dealt. 
And yet, despite this weariness, Satoru was gripped by an insatiable obsession with perfection, an obsession that only deepened his fatigue. He craved approval, power, and the flawless execution of his duties⸺desires that gnawed at him even as they threatened to consume him.
Which is exactly why he needed a perfect wife. A wife that was capable, could handle bothersome people⸺which he was steadily losing the patience to deal with⸺and a reliable companion. Someone that would reduce his stress, not add to it. 
Satoru had spent all day lurking in the shadows as best as he could; being the most eligible bachelor did mean that brothers and sisters were coming up to him, singing praises of their debutante in an effort to capture his interest. But Satoru knew all too well that the loudest families often had the most to compensate for.
As ladies in white paraded before the crowd, many buckling under the weight of judgment and attention, Satoru prowled like a jungle cat, staying hidden in the throng, biding his time, and waiting for the right moment to strike.
What he noticed first about you was your way of carrying yourself. Even Auntie⸺the Queen⸺who, after seeing countless of girls today, had been incredibly bored, dragged her eyes over you in slightly more interest than she did for others. The moment you stepped through those grand doors into the court, it was evident to everyone that your stride was that of someone who understood her role and position in life⸺a confidence that set you apart from the other debutantes. Satoru’s eyes raked over you, observing you as your chest rose slightly as you took a breath in. 
And then you smiled.
Satoru's eyes widened, just imperceptibly, as he watched your expression as you made your way to the Queen. He made sure to shake his expression off to a more nonchalant one as he watched your form walk. Lesser men than Satoru would die for your smile. Men, out of all traits a woman could possess, cherished a pretty visage the most. Yet, what your smile conveyed went beyond mere beauty; it embodied innocence and the qualities most esteemed in a demure bride (which Satoru knew was just all a show, but it was indeed indicative of your skill to put up appearances, hence deeming you a reliable companion).
The corner of the young man's mouth rose.  When the Queen declared you the diamond of the season, Satoru knew he had found his quarry.
When the ball came, Satoru acted similarly: observing from behind, staying in conversation with his friends and other noble men that did business with the Gojo family as he prowled the ballroom, waiting for the right moment to ask you for your hand. And then Naoya came in when you were finally alone, away from all the incompetent men that dared to think they had a chance to court you, and Satoru almost laughed snarkily at how easy it all was. 
Approaching you, saving you from Naoya⸺it was all a perfect construction of his. Dancing, he noticed your steps were carried out with a practiced perfection and grace, and your responses to his questions displayed a respectable level of intellect. He could tell your responses were practiced and simple, your constitution and demeanor a result of much effort into presenting yourself as best as you could. But what does it matter, when you do it so perfectly?
Maybe it was a bit naive of him, but you seemed to glow when conversing with him. It amused him, as he kept watching your pretty eyes as you kept smiling while he kept throwing difficult questions at you. It was all expected, however. Satoru knew he was blessed with the brilliant blue Gojo eyes and eccentric fair, white hair; he was the most eligible bachelor for not only wealth and power but reproductive capabilities and opportunities as well. Which lady wouldn’t want to be mother to his cute and beautiful blue-eyed babies?
After witnessing such mediocre men who paled in comparison to Satoru, surely you must be smitten. Gojo could see right through you: you, the diamond, have been looking for a man as meritorious as you, and you had found it in Satoru. 
So why were you acting this way?
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When you wake up in the morning and get ready for suitors, it is as you expected; there are multiple carriages outside your doorstep, and there is a line from the drawing room, extending all the way down the stairs. When Choso stumbles into the drawing room, where you and your mother are enjoying tea, he is clearly unhappy at the selection of men waiting to be let in to call upon you. 
“This is absurd!” Choso’s hands raked over his hair in an effort to process the scene he had just witnessed. “Why do I see Naoya waiting outside?”
Your nose crinkled in distaste. “Well, dear brother, I certainly cannot control which suitors call upon me. He must’ve enjoyed our conversation yesterday. The enjoyment, however, is one sided.”
Choso’s eyes widened comically. “You had a conversation with him yesterday?” He then turned to your mother accusingly, who was reading a Whistledown while sipping on her tea innocuously. “This would not have happened if I was there, Mother. This is your fault.”
Your mother continued drinking her tea nonchalantly, waiting for a few beats to grace him with a response. “I prefer this, my son, to no visitors out there because our dear Lord Itadori scared all the bachelors away with his pickiness.” Then, her eyes flashed. “And don’t give me that tone.”
You snickered behind your palm as Choso visibly deflated.
 “Kuna! Get back here!”
Pitter patters of small paws started to get closer and closer, as heavy footsteps followed it. Yuji and the family corgi, Sukuna Jr., burst into the room. Eyeing the biscuit in your hand, Kuna made his way directly to you, panting at your feet. A pet given affectionately by your-not-so-affectionate older brother, Sukuna, when he left for his year long trip around Europe, Kuna was the cutest little puppy. You and Yuji loved to spoil him, clearly shown as Yuji patted him while breathing heavily. You cooed as Kuna licked your fingers while inhaling the biscuit you had presented him. 
“Well,” your mother stood up, having finished her tea, and began ushering in the maids to clear the table. “It seems our morning will be quite busy. You’d best be prepared for a long day, my dear.”
Choso was still grumbling as he took a seat across from you, his eyes narrowing at the sight of the long line of suitors outside. “I’m keeping an eye on that Naoya fellow. If he so much as looks at you the wrong way…”
You raised an eyebrow at your brother’s protectiveness, feeling both amused and touched. “Choso, I appreciate your concern, but I can handle myself. Besides, with Kuna here, I doubt any of these gentlemen will get too close without proper approval.”
As if understanding the conversation, Sukuna Jr. barked enthusiastically, his tail wagging as he looked up at you with bright, expectant eyes. You smiled and scratched behind his ears, watching as his tiny body wriggled with joy.
Yuji, still catching his breath from the chase, flopped onto the chair beside you, shooting a grin at Choso. “Come on, big brother, give her a break. It’s not every day our sister gets declared the diamond of the season. Let her enjoy it.”
Choso crossed his arms, still unconvinced. “I’m just saying, if any of these men don’t meet my standards⸺”
“Your standards?” you interrupted with a teasing lilt. “Choso, I’d never find a husband if I had to meet your impossible standards. Besides, you should be more concerned about finding someone yourself.”
Choso’s cheeks tinted with a slight blush, but make no mistake; he was hot with anger, ready to make a snarky retort. Your mother, who had been overseeing the maids, turned her attention back to the conversation with a soft smile.
“Your sister is right, Choso. It’s her time to shine, and as her family, we should support her, not make things more difficult.” She gave him a pointed look before turning to you with a gentler expression, and he backed down as he always does for your mother. “Now, my dear, are you ready to begin receiving your guests?”
You took a deep breath, nodding as you steeled yourself for the hours of polite conversation and careful navigation of the social battlefield ahead. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Good,” your mother said, her voice laced with both pride and encouragement. “Remember, you are the diamond of the season. There isn’t a man out there who wouldn’t be lucky to have you.”
You offered a weak smile. “Let’s get this over with.”
As you walked toward the sofa where you would be talking with suitors, Kuna trotted alongside you, his presence a comforting reminder.With Yuji and Choso trailing behind, and your mother leading the way to open the door, you braced yourself for the onslaught of admirers waiting beyond the door.
But as you straighten your posture, in anticipation to greet the first suitor, you couldn't help but glance down at Kuna, who stared up at you with wide, curious eyes. You chuckled softly.
“Well, Kuna,” you whispered, “let’s see who passes your test today.”
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Gojo’s gaze wandered down to Sukuna Jr. in your lap as you stroked his fur, and he gave you a saccharine⸺yet strained⸺smile. “Must this dog bear witness to our conversation? 
As if sensing Gojo’s unfriendliness, Kuna started growling, and you could feel the rumble deep in his stomach. You met Gojo’s sweet smile with one of your own. “Yes.”
Gojo blinked, and the smile on his face faltered. You noticed that this was one of the first time Gojo’s ever expressed an emotion outside of smugness, and you count this as your personal win.
“Well,” he hesitated, and then a smile was on his face as if that stumble didn’t happen. “You look wonderful this morning, Miss Itadori.”
Your eyes flashed at his audacity to talk behind your back and try to fool you with flattery. “On the contrary, I think I look rather simple.”
Gojo, none the wiser as to what you were referring to, waved his hands. “Nonsense.”
Before you could respond, Kuna let out a low, rumbling growl, his sharp eyes fixed on Gojo. The sound was subtle, but in the quiet of the morning, it was unmistakable. Gojo’s gaze flickered down to the small dog, and his smile tightened ever so slightly.
You gently scratched behind Kuna’s ears, calming him, though his gaze never left Gojo. “I apologize on behalf of my dear Kuna,” you said, your voice light but nonetheless pointed. “He tends to be wary of many, particularly those he believes to be with ulterior motives.”
Gojo nodded, unfazed, and looked down at the dog in question. Upon eye contact, all your efforts to calm Kuna went to naught as the dog stood up, tense and teeth almost bared fully, to stare back at Gojo defiantly. Gojo, to his credit, was starting to be a little wary and was giving the pup an impassive stare. 
“You know, I have an affinity for dogs. There are many pups that I have spent my entire childhood with.” He offered a chuckle and moved his hand to pet Kuna. “Dogs do have a way of sensing things, don’t they?” That was clearly the wrong decision because the dog’s growl grew louder, and suddenly, he snapped at Gojo’s hand. Before Kuna could sink his teeth into Gojo’s hand, however, Gojo smoothly withdrew it out of his reach. 
“Protective, isn’t he?” Gojo laughed, but his stare towards Kuna was veering more and more into a glare. He tried to disguise his irritation by suavely adding, “Admirable. I’m glad he has protected my lady so well.” Gojo then grabbed your hand to give you a small kiss on the back of it while keeping eye contact. You had to divert your eyes elsewhere to avoid coloring your cheeks; while you knew this was just another one of Gojo’s pretenses to charm you, you were still fazed by it. 
You cleared your throat and tried to uphold the conversation. After all, it would be outright rude to keep throwing thinly veiled insults his way when there were others in your company; he also had the potential to spread further malicious rumors about you if you showed attitude. You mustered up a fake smile, and offered, “He was a gift to me and Yuji offered by my older brother, Sukuna, when he went traveling,” you offered. 
“Is that the brother you hoped to follow to Europe?”
You blinked and faltered. You didn’t expect him to remember that tidbit from your conversation at the ball last night. While most of the preferences you had asserted were artificial⸺supplemented to you by your tutor, who had drilled what fake preferences of yours would woo men⸺you truly did gain enthusiasm for the languages because you hoped to prove your helpfulness to Sukuna in an effort to run away from your inevitable debut. At the time, you were rebelling against anything your mama said, avoiding anything  associated with being paraded around like an animal, put on display for men. “Yes,” you said slowly, “Yes, it is.” 
Gojo smiled, this time a little more genuine at the fact it was his first time receiving an authentic response from you this morning, rather than something covered with a fake smile. Just as he leaned in slightly, probably preparing to make another smooth remark, Kuna, who had been shifting in your lap, suddenly stilled, his face buried in your lap and tail facing Gojo. For a moment, you thought he might be settling down.
And then it happened.
The largest fart ripped through the room out of Kuna’s arse, which was pointed directly in Gojo’s face. While you were not a scholar studying physics, you were aware that the air dynamics did not do Gojo any favors in preventing the smell from hitting him direct-on. Gojo’s eyes widened in surprise, and his suave expression faltered entirely as the smell quickly followed, filling the air around you both.
You could feel the heat rushing to your face in your effort not to laugh out loud. Trying to keep your composure, you gently patted Kuna’s belly, who was now face up, tongue lolling out in bliss. “Oh, dear,” you muttered, your voice strained with the effort to suppress a laugh.
Gojo, for once, was at a loss for words. His eyes were tearing up, probably at the smell; whenever you and Yuji spoiled Kuna with those biscuits, he dropped nasty-smelling dungs, and you knew Gojo wasn’t spared at all. The arrogant bachelor, who always seemed to have a witty response ready, was now at a loss of words as he weakly gazed upon the weak little poot! poot!s that escaped Kuna as you continued patting his stomach in an effort to relieve your pup’s digestive system.
At Gojo’s expression, you had to take quiet, deep breaths in an effort to rein in the cackles that were threatening to overcome you. You resorted to covering your mouth as you strained, “As you can see, my Kuna is quite expressive, and he seemed quite eager to show you that.”
He offered you a strained smile. “He does indeed generate quite a bit of wind.” At that, you could no longer hold back. Genuine laughter wracked through your figure, hurting your ribs as you tried to quell it with a hand to the mouth, but no avail. Your muffled laughter was still loud, and when the giggles subsided, you wiped your tears and threw an apologetic look at Gojo, preparing to express your regret. 
But you stopped at the sheer wonder he contained in his face as his gaze fixated on your lips, which were drawn back in the ghost of the smile you had while laughing riotously. Without allowing you much time to dwell on it, he stood up and dipped his head in a little bow. “Well, I have been taking quite a bit of your time, Miss Itadori. I better let other suitors have their chance.” He kissed the back of your hand. “I hope to see you at the horse race tomorrow.”
“Likewise.” You couldn’t help but spy some red coloring Gojo’s alabaster cheeks as he made his way to the exit. As you greeted the next suitor, the imprint of a certain man’s lips continued to tingle on your hands. 
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“I told you he was a rake,” Nobara muttered as she scrubbed your arm with an intensity that matched her outrage. After hearing what Gojo had said about you, she was livid. Unfortunately, your skin was bearing the brunt of her frustration.
“Well,” you mused, trying to distract her, “what rumors have you heard that make you think that?”
“Momo told me a few months ago⸺” Nobara paused, her hands hovering over the various bottles on the counter. “Which scent would you prefer for your hair?”
“Sandalwood,” you replied.
Nobara nodded and poured some of the rich liquid into her hands before massaging it into your scalp. You closed your eyes, feeling the tension from the day's exhausting and dull conversations slowly melt away under her skillful fingers. “Momo mentioned that he’s often out late at night, which seems suspicious. But now that I think about it, Momo isn’t the most reliable source,” Nobara added, her tone shifting to one of skepticism.
You quirked an eyebrow. “Why do you say that?”
“There’s talk that she attempted to lure another maid’s husband into an affair,” Nobara replied, her hands now working the shampoo through your hair with a practiced ease. “She even tried to gain access to his quarters.”
You gasped. “How scandalous!”
“I know,” Nobara said, her hands now massaging the back of your neck with a gentler touch. “So, who knows how much truth there is to her gossip. But still, Gojo’s behavior is less than honorable, don’t you think?”
You sighed, gazing up at the ceiling with a mix of frustration and resignation. “He was gossiping about me with other men, calling me all sorts of horrible things⸺‘simple,’ of all things. And yet, he has the audacity to want to call upon me?”
“You know,” Nobara mused as she continued her task, “He sounds the exact opposite of what some of your books would imply.”
You hummed in agreement, recalling the radical works you kept hidden beneath your bed. Your mother would be appalled if she ever discovered them, but you often sought solace in political writings that challenged the rigid expectations of society. “I know. And that is precisely why I have no intention of encouraging his attention this season—at least, not before I ensure his complete and utter humiliation.”
“But do take care. His connections to the Queen are quite strong.”
You drew back from Nobara's hands, much to her chagrin. She gave you a glare while you exclaimed, "What?"
“Surely you’re aware that the Gojo dukedom is among the closest to the royal family?”
You fervently hoped your mother hadn’t caught wind of Gojo's status. Yet, the way she had been observing you⸺subtly scrutinizing you in the drawing room while feigning interest in a suitor awaiting his turn⸺suggested otherwise. She had certainly noticed Gojo's growing interest, and the thought of her getting involved, fixating on a match with him, filled you with dread. Drawing your hands over your face, you moaned, the very notion of her scheming to pair you with Gojo weighing heavily on your mind.
“But that should hardly be a concern if you’ve begun to distance yourself from him, correct? You have been creating some distance, haven’t you?”
Your silence spoke volumes, and Nobara, ever quick to discern your hesitation, gasped in exasperation. “You cannot seriously be considering giving this gentleman any encouragement, can you?”
"No, no, it’s not that,” you replied, massaging your temples in frustration. “It’s just that my mother is probably ecstatic at the prospect of securing a match between me and Gojo.”
“But surely, if she knew the things he’s been saying behind your back, she would understand.”
You tried to open your mouth to respond, but it felt as if your throat had closed up. Would she really? A match with Gojo would mean elevated status for the Itadori family⸺a duchess for a daughter. What worth is there in being the diamond of the season if not to secure the most advantageous match? The very thought made your chest tighten with the suffocating realization that your mother might very well advocate for the union, despite Gojo’s duplicity.
“I⸺” you swallowed. “I’m not sure.” Before Nobara could interrupt, you stood up and reached for your robe. 
Nobara's brow furrowed as she watched you stand up. "Where do you think you're going? You’re not done with your bath, and your hair is still full of suds!" She reached out to stop you, her hands hovering as though unsure whether to pull you back into the tub or grab the robe you were now clutching.
You forced a small, tired smile, grateful for the distraction. “I need just a moment. The water's gone cold, anyway.”
“Oh, nonsense! You’ll catch a chill if you get out now. Sit back down,” Nobara insisted, her protest tinged with genuine concern. She placed a firm hand on your shoulder, guiding you back toward the warm water.
With a reluctant sigh, you allowed yourself to be coaxed back into the tub. The momentary reprieve from the conversation was a relief, and you welcomed Nobara’s determined focus on completing your bath. She picked up a sponge, her earlier frustration melting into concentration as she scrubbed your back.
“Well, we can discuss that scheming rake later,” she muttered, more to herself than to you. “For now, let’s get you properly cleaned up before your mother comes looking for you. She’d never forgive me if I let you appear anything less than perfect.”
You nodded with a lump in your throat, grateful for the change in topic, even if only temporary. The soothing rhythm of Nobara's hands working through your hair, the warmth of the bathwater, and the familiar, comforting routine helped ease the tightness in your chest. For now, the troubling thoughts of Gojo and your mother's ambitions could be set aside.
“Now, hold still,” Nobara said, her tone softening as she rinsed the last of the soap from your hair. “We’ll have you looking radiant again in no time.”
The conversation was left unfinished, hanging in the air like a question that neither of you was quite ready to answer. But for now, the silence was a welcome refuge.
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"Do you have any notion of how impossible it is to charm a lady when there is a pup expelling such foul air right beneath your nose?" Satoru lamented, leaning back in his chair and raking a hand through his tousled hair. The trio gathered at the table presented a rather unusual sight: Satoru, visibly discomposed; Nanami, calmly sipping his drink as ever; and Suguru, nearly doubled over in laughter at his friend’s misfortune.
“Would you please⸺SMACK⸺cease your laughing?!” Satoru glared at Suguru, who seemed to be of no hope, now with tears in his eyes as he clutched his stomach and the back of his head, which Satoru had just hit. 
“Truly, your vanity⸺haaah⸺your vanity was in need of humbling,” Suguru managed between breaths, still snickering behind his palms. 
Satoru glowered, crossing his arms and staring daggers into his drink, as if his gaze alone could break the fine glass. “My pride had already suffered enough. She was positively frigid.”
Nanami hummed. “Perhaps she’s merely discerned your true nature.”
“It defies comprehension,” Gojo groaned, ignoring Kento’s statement. “What kind of lady disparages her own beauty as ‘simple’? I cannot fathom what has caused her such vexation. Only the night before, she was utterly taken with me!”
Suguru⸺who had now calmed down⸺was in the midst of wiping his tears when he suddenly stopped. “You don’t suppose it had anything to do with your careless words, do you?”
Kento eyed the pair in front of him with an accusatory side eye. “And what precisely did you say?”
 “Satoru, in his usual fashion, could not contain his tongue. Out on the terrace, with the garden as witness, he spoke rather unkindly, referring to the diamond as ‘simple and dull.’”
“Nonsense,” Satoru waved his hands, dismissing the idea. “The lady would never wander the gardens at such an hour in the night unchaperoned.”
“I suggest you reconsider.” Kento gave him a stern look and continued, “I happened upon her last night, emerging from the gardens, and she appeared rather disheveled.” 
This revelation gave Satoru pause, but if there was one thing certain about Satoru Gojo, it was this: his arrogance was such that he could scarcely fathom anyone, least of all a lady, finding his charm anything but irresistible⸺even if that very lady had overheard him uttering defamatory remarks about her. And this lady was one he could not let go of, unless he wanted to wave good-bye to his future.
“I am confident all will be well,” Gojo exhaled, his lips curving into a Cheshire smile. “Even if she did overhear, surely a few well-chosen sweet words will surely set matters right.”
(He was most grievously mistaken.)
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“How many of those biscuits do you suppose we could finish?” Yuji was eyeing the biscuits from his seat next to you in the pavilion where you and your family were sitting. Out promenading with the other families of the ton, it was a scenic and beautiful day for you to mingle with even more suitors. The joy!
“Certainly less than me,” you remarked, sipping on your tea smugly. By the irritated pout on his face, you knew you were successful at getting a rise out of your younger brother. Knowing your mother wasn’t in sight, you quickly darted for the jam-filled biscuits, and your brother quickly followed in tow; soon, you were both stuffing your faces silly with the sugary treats.
“You two are incorrigible,” Choso scrunched his nose from where he sat across from you, arms crossed. “There’s no need to inhale those biscuits. What if someone sees?”
Yuji stuck out his tongue⸺now adorned with biscuit crumbs⸺and continued gorging, while you snickered at your younger brother’s pettiness.
“Miss Itadori.”
You began coughing wildly, caught off guard, and hastily straightened your posture to greet your guest. You turned to see Lord Ino, who offered you a slight nod before acknowledging your brothers. “Lord Itadori. Mister Itadori.”
“Lord Ino, nice to meet you on such a fine day.” You try to put a smile on your face as best as you can, even though you were caught off guard. “How do you find today’s weather?” 
Takuma grabs the back of your hand to kiss it. “I find it wonderful for the prospect of promenading. Do you care to do so with me?”
“Of course,” You stand up and link your elbows with Takuma’s.
“We’ll be thirty paces behind you, sister.” You both turned to look at Choso, who was giving Lord Ino his inevitable protective glare. Given Ino’s acceptable station, Choso hadn’t immediately protested, unlike the many suitors he had chased out of your manor the day before. He grabbed Yuji by the elbow, who, with cheeks comically inflated like a chipmunk hoarding acorns, was promptly dragged away. “Yuji, get up.” The last you saw of your brothers was Yuji’s futile protests, his mouth too full to be coherent⸺inevitably sending some crumbs flying onto Choso⸺and Choso swatting him for it.
As you began your walk with Lord Ino, the conversation naturally turned to the upcoming horse race. “Are you looking forward to the race this afternoon?” you asked, trying to keep the conversation light.
“I am,” the lord replied. “And you?”
“Very much so,” you said, a hint of excitement in your voice. “I have a feeling that the less popular horse⸺Blaze, was it?⸺might surprise everyone. The conditions seem just right for an underdog victory; the track is soft and warm, which would favor Blaze’s build.”
Lord Ino glanced at you with a polite but unconvinced smile. “But Thunder has higher odds and more bets. It’s as simple as that.”
You couldn’t help but bristle at the word “simple,” a word that had recently come to grate on your nerves. You pressed on, though, determined to keep the conversation pleasant. “I suppose there’s some truth to that, but sometimes there’s more to a race than just the odds and popularity.”
Ino chuckled softly. “Well, a good mentor and friend of mine⸺Duke Nanami⸺agrees with the odds, and His Grace is someone I deeply respect. I tend to follow his lead⸺the duke has a way of teaching lessons without hindering one’s growth.”
Before you could respond, the sound of a trumpet blared in the distance, signaling the start of the race. You looked at him, giving him a courteous nod, gesturing in the general direction Choso and Yuji were supposed to be in. “It seems the race is about to begin. I must rejoin my family.”
You curtsied as he bowed, and you watched as he walked away, leaving you momentarily alone. You took a deep breath, trying to dispel the lingering irritation from the conversation. Just as you began looking for your family, you felt a presence approaching.
You turned to find Lady Mei Mei and her entourage closing in. Their expressions were a study in artful contempt, laced with curiosity and barely concealed amusement. The atmosphere between you was thick with unspoken competition, each woman silently gauging the other’s position on the social ladder. 
“Miss Itadori, what a nice surprise!” Lady Mei Mei remarked, her tone dripping with false sweetness. “It appears you are alone and unchaperoned in a garden yet again! At least, according to what the rumors say. Was it part of yet another one of your charming ploys to get what you want?"
You met her gaze with cool composure, not giving her the satisfaction of a visible reaction. "I have no clue what you're talking about."
Lady Mei Mei tilted her head slightly, her eyes narrowing as if appraising a particularly interesting specimen. "Really?" she mused, drawing out the word as though savoring it. "It’s just that Lord Gojo hasn’t spoken with you all day. Even if Whistledown commended you in the last issue, I wouldn’t expect his interest to linger." The two ladies flanking her⸺unremarkable save for their sycophantic attachment to Mei Mei⸺giggled behind their fans, as though she had delivered a crushing blow.
You allowed yourself a small, almost imperceptible smile, one that didn’t reach your eyes. "So I’m assuming he called upon you?" you questioned sweetly, your voice laced with feigned politeness.
For a fleeting moment, Lady Mei Mei’s carefully curated composure slipped, the faintest flicker of irritation crossing her face before she regained control. She leaned in slightly, her voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper meant for you alone. “None of the suitors will be interested in you any longer. The Queen may have mistakenly proclaimed you the diamond, but a pretty face, empty smiles, and hollow words can only last so long.”
“Whatever would be most convenient for you to believe.” Her words were empty and her threats dull, but you couldn’t help but let it compound on the irritation you had experienced today. But you knew better than to let your tongue loose; you were quite impulsive when you had started, and you didn’t want to start any scandal anytime soon. Instead, you held your ground, trying to maintain your composure (outwardly, at least) as Lady Mei Mei and her entourage turned to leave, their laughter echoing in your ears. 
You tried to implement a few things your tutor had ingrained in you: taking deep breaths and setting your posture correctly. However, as you stood there, collecting yourself, the last thing you needed seemed to manifest before you: Satoru Gojo.
His tall figure approached you with that familiar, self-assured stride, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Ah, Miss Itadori," he greeted, a sly smile playing on his lips. You were already irritated, and it took all your will-power to stifle a groan. 
"I couldn’t help but notice you were conversing with Lord Ino," he remarked casually.
Give him a smile. "Indeed, we were enjoying a promenade. It is, after all, what young ladies and their suitors are expected to do."
“Quite the choice in company!”
KEEP up the smile.  "He is a nobleman, and I am of noble descent. I fail to see your point, Mr. Gojo." 
Gojo’s smile was quick and cutting. “Oh, I’ve no particular quarrel with Lord Ino. It’s simply that he’s hardly the sort I’d expect to see on your arm. After all, he’s practically Nanami’s lapdog.”
You felt the familiar irritation rising within you⸺and you were fighting for your life trying to keep a smile on your face⸺but you kept your tone measured. "And what, pray tell, are you implying by that, Mr. Gojo?"
"It’s quite simple, really⸺" 
But your patience, already worn thin, snapped at that word.
"My good sir, do you not think it rather dishonorable to speak ill of others behind their backs?" Gojo began to respond, but you cut him off. "It’s curious how quickly opinions can change, is it not? Just the other evening, you seemed to hold me in rather low regard. Tell me, do you often dismiss people as ‘simple’ when they fail to meet any of the lofty expectations you have set? Or do you perhaps truly believe yourself to be at a station higher than others?"
Gojo stiffened, the smile slipping from his face as your words hit their mark. Before he could respond, Choso appeared at your side, his protective presence a welcome relief.
“Is there any problem, sister?” Choso asked, his tone polite yet firm as he glanced at Satoru, his eyes narrowing slightly.
Gojo’s gaze flicked to Choso, his irritation clear as he opened his mouth to make a cutting remark, and you couldn’t thank the gods enough for Choso’s mother hen tendencies. But the words faltered when he recognized who had interrupted. For a brief moment, surprise flashed in his eyes before he masked it with a tight-lipped smile.
You seized the moment, turning to Satoru with a sweet smile. “I think our time is up, Mister Gojo,” you said, your voice laced with venom.
Satoru hesitated for just a fraction of a second before nodding curtly, his expression unreadable. “Of course. Until next time, Miss Itadori.”
With that, he stepped back, allowing you and Choso to walk away toward where people were gathering for the race. As you moved through the crowd, you could feel Satoru’s gaze lingering on you, but you didn’t look back.
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“That horse appears rather stout, does it not?” Yuji squinted against the blazing sun as he observed the horses from his seat beside you in the grandstand. “Why has it garnered so many bets?”
Choso, seated protectively on your other side, kept a steady arm linked with yours. His presence was reassuring, though your irritation was directed at the figure seated just below you. Satoru Gojo, to your endless chagrin, was sitting with Lady Mei Mei, who had all but forced her way into the seat beside him. Though he tried to appear indifferent, his signature flirty remarks flowing with ease, you noticed the subtle signs of irritation crossing his face. Whether it stemmed from Lady Mei Mei's advances or from your earlier exchange, you couldn't be sure. You refused to meet his gaze, though you could feel his eyes on you intermittently as the crowd waited for the race to begin.
“Men can be quite foolish at times,” you remarked hotly, your voice carrying just enough to be overheard. “Some people value the superficial and materialistic over true substance, much like they do with horses. Blaze, for instance, has the qualities that truly matter.”
You could almost feel Gojo’s gaze intensify, and despite yourself, you glanced in his direction. Lady Mei Mei, ever the actress, feigned a stumble, exclaiming with a coy smile, “These crowds are rather rough on a lady!”
You scoffed inwardly at her transparent attempt to press her bosom against Gojo’s arm.
“Oh my,” Gojo drawled, his voice oozing concern. “We can’t have that, can we?” Ever the gallant gentleman, he interlaced his arm with hers. “Here, for extra protection. I wouldn’t want a pretty lady shedding tears beside me.”
Mei Mei’s smirk was as satisfied as a serpent after a meal, and she batted her eyelashes coquettishly. “If I were to cry, would you console me?”
“Of course,” Gojo replied smoothly. “Though I might find myself crying should my horse lose. The bets I’ve placed are rather substantial.”
A flirtatious giggle escaped Mei Mei’s lips. “Then I shall cheer with all my might, so you needn’t suffer any losses, my lord.”
You were perilously close to tearing your hair out.
“I appreciate your enthusiasm, my lady,” Gojo said, taking her hand and kissing the back of it with exaggerated flourish. “But rest assured, I am quite confident of a victory today. Thunder is swift and cunning, far superior to that... other horse. It’s simple, really—Thunder will win.”
Your composure cracked. “Yuji,” you called, your voice sharp. Your brother, who had been lost in thought, snapped to attention. “Despite the other horse’s popularity, Blaze possesses the one quality universal to all champions: speed and diligence. The track conditions are in its favor.”
Yuji, caught off guard, blinked in confusion. “Yes, of course, sister,” he mumbled, clearly unsure of why you were addressing him.
“And anyone who thinks otherwise,” you continued, raising your voice slightly, “is bound to lose their money. Sorely and simply.”
Gojo matched your tone, his voice ringing out. “But of course, it’s all in good fun. There’s no need for hostility over a sport, is there? Both horses are fine contenders, though I remain convinced Thunder shall emerge victorious.”
Mei Mei tittered, parroting his sentiments, but you could hardly see straight for the anger coursing through you. Unable to hold back, you retorted, “However, it is, after all, still a race. And Blaze will win.”
By now, your exchange had drawn the attention of those around you, including your brothers. Choso and Yuji exchanged puzzled glances before Yuji asked weakly, “Are you still talking to us, sister?” Meanwhile, Choso’s protective instincts flared, his gaze darting suspiciously between you and Gojo.
Before you could reply, the horses lined up at the starting gate, and the crowd collectively rose to their feet, including Gojo. “Steady now, Thunder!” he called out, his voice brimming with confidence.
Not to be outdone, you shouted, “Come on, Blaze!”
The bell rang, and the horses surged forward, the crowd erupting in cheers. Blaze and Thunder quickly pulled ahead, the two horses locked in a fierce battle for the lead. Thunder was currently ahead, its sleek form cutting through the track with precision.
“Steady, Thunder! Keep the lead!” Gojo’s voice was full of excitement, urging his horse onward.
Your heart raced with frustration as Blaze lagged slightly behind. “You can do this, Blaze!” you urged, your voice rising above the din. Without thinking, you began whistling sharply, drawing alarmed looks from your brothers. The stares from the crowd meant nothing to you as you focused solely on the race.
Blaze, as if responding to your encouragement, began to accelerate, its powerful strides eating up the ground between it and Thunder. You noticed Thunder’s pace faltering, fatigue setting in, while Blaze surged ahead, pulling into the lead with a quarter of the race remaining.
Now it was Gojo’s turn to whistle, his voice tinged with desperation. “Straight to the finish line, Thunder! Don’t let up!”
But Blaze only widened the gap, its momentum carrying it farther ahead. You couldn’t contain your laughter, a joyous sound that bubbled up from within as Blaze crossed the finish line first, with Thunder trailing behind.
“Goddamn it,” Gojo cursed under his breath, his frustration palpable. You clapped your hands in delight, your laughter ringing out.
With deliberate grace, you placed your hands on your hips and turned to Gojo, flashing him a triumphant smile. “I’m so glad the ‘simple’ horse won,” you said, your voice dripping with satisfaction. “It seems I’ve finally bested a duke.”
Gojo’s blue eyes bore into you, their intensity searing, but you met his glare with a boisterous laugh, savoring the victory as the crowd’s cheers and claps echoed around you. Until it was only the two of you, staring each other down.
Gojo ⸺ 0, you ⸺ 1.
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Now, Duchess Gojo had always had a penchant for gossip, no one escaping her eye and observation. Of course, it was now the Whistledown era, for the unknown author could observe far more than the high-profile duchess, who was the receiver of much praise and attention due to her son’s eligibility. But this eligibility had only been achieved because of her ability to direct the tide based on her reconnaissance, and in all her years, no could match her sass and direction. Except one. 
"You know, Lady Itadori," the Duchess remarked, her tone laced with feigned pensiveness, "the Gojo manor in the countryside has been dreadfully quiet, and, if I may say, it has been quite some time since we last enjoyed a proper tête-à-tête.”
The two ladies stood together near the stands, choosing a more secluded spot from which to observe the horse race. Lady Itadori, her closest confidante, met the Duchess’s gaze with a gleam in her eye. "Indeed, I must agree."
For a moment, the two women stood in silence, their eyes surveying the scene before them. From the ladies flirting shamelessly to the gentlemen scrambling for the favor of the season’s debutantes, they were like spectators at a grand circus. Yet, their attention was drawn to a particular act.
Raising her fan to her lips, Lady Itadori whispered conspiratorially to the Duchess, "I might add, my diamond has been spending a considerable amount of time in your son’s company."
The Duchess met her friend’s eyes and laughed lightly. "How many days do you wager it will take in the manor?"
Lady Itadori, now fully smirking, gave a delicate shrug. "It took you and the Duke but four days."
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gojo when kuna ripped one in his face
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senseofnewness · 1 month
Text
double fault
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idea by @diyasgarden
pairing : patrick zweig x f!reader (mistress!patrick zweig x trophywife!reader)
rating : explicit
word count : 31.4k
contains : smut 18+, infidelity, vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex (m and f receiving), period sex, pregnant sex, mention of noncon, emotionally absent mother, body dysmorphia
summary : Running into Patrick Zweig, your childhood crush, was a much-needed distraction from your otherwise unhappy life as a housewife. Though others might envy your life of ease, with no obligations and a generous husband showering you with gifts, you felt something was lacking. You missed the excitement, the fire. Someting Patrick reignited in you, drawing you into an affair that forces you to reevaluate your life and what you truly desire as woman.
It was undeniable, you loved your husband more than anything. From the moment you met, he swept you off your feet with his charms. He was successful, ambitious, intelligent and a lot older than you. Raised in a wealthy traditional family, marrying up and dedicating yourself to your household was an expectation you couldn't escape. While you found this somewhat outdated, you reluctantly complied, feeling unprepared to pursue anything else in life. Your parents had always controlled the course of your life, never allowing you the freedom to explore and experience life on your own terms. Every decision, every step, had been meticulously planned and dictated by them. But now you found yourself without a degree, a clear passion, or a career beyond a few modeling gigs in your youth, so the path seemed set. Yet, when you met your husband, the weight of obligation lifted. You found comfort in his embrace, a sense of security that enveloped you. His reliability reassured you, brushing off any concerns you had about conforming to your parents' plans. And from the shelter of your father, you passed into the care of your husband.
In the early years of your relationship and marriage, he treated you like a precious jewel, a dazzling trophy wife to parade and whose happiness was at the forefront of his priorities. Together, you surrounded yourselves with luxury, enjoying a life of comfort and abundance. Three-star restaurants, exotic getaways, lavish hotels, designer wardrobes and expensive handbags, all gifted to you in gratitude for being such a devoted obedient wife. In return, all you had to do was maintain a firm body, keep your pussy tight and preserve your young-looking face. The only obligations you had were at the gym, visits to your plastic surgeon, or social events. You loved how easy your life was, how everything was thought of for you.
As time passed, cracks really began to show. While the material comfort remained, you found yourself starved for attention. His demanding career increasingly pulled him away from home, leaving you on your own in your cold mansion with no one to care for. No husband. No pet. No baby. A child was what you desired the most, a need that consumed your thoughts more and more as years passed. You had discussed it countless times, but he remained firmly convinced that he was happy with just the two of you. He was content with your only presence and so were you, but most of the time, he wasn’t even there. 
He still made efforts to show he cared despite the distance but his gestures seemed mechanical, lacking the spark that once setted you on fire. Nights once filled with whispered promises, hushed moans and stolen kisses now echoed with silence. Sometimes, in the quiet hours of the night, you caught yourself remembering a time when sheets were warmed by your shared intimacy, and the steady rhythm of his breathing lulled you into sleep. Now, those moments felt like distant memories, fading with each passing day.
The loneliness was particularly bitter today, on your birthday, a day you had eagerly awaited. You had spent the hours ticking by, hopeful for a phone call or a surprise gift that never arrived. By 9pm, it was clear : he had either forgotten. Or worse, was too busy with someone else. Thoughts of another woman, younger and more captivating, raced through your mind. Had he become so consumed with impressing her that he had forgotten his own wife? There was no concrete reason to doubt him, yet you couldn't help but imagine the worst-case scenario.
You had spent the day in tears. Now, as evening settled in, all you craved was a small comfort, something sweet to numb the ache. For six years, you had diligently avoided indulging in anything sugary so that your husband would always find a thin and toned wife waiting for him in bed. But tonight, those sacrifices felt meaningless. You needed cake.
When the Uber dropped you off at the bakery, disappointment washed over you as you discovered they didn't sell individual slices of cake. You opted for a whole 6-inch cake instead, decorated with a simple ‘Happy Birthday’ message on it. You were sitting outside at a table with a spoon in hand, about to dig in, when you spotted a familiar face crossing the street. A face you had not seen in ages. A face that one couldn’t forget. It was Patrick Zweig. 
You had grown up alongside the Zweig family, close friends of your parents. While you and Patrick couldn't call yourselves great friends, you shared many fond memories together. Beach trips, parties, amusement parks, you had experienced it all with him. Your parents always paired you up during events, likely because you were the same age. But you knew age wasn’t the only reason. Both your parents had ulterior motives. Your mother often remarked on how sweet and caring Patrick was, though you knew better. Her words had little effect on your opinion of the boy so she eventually suggested he would be a ‘great marriage candidate’ for you. You thought she was crazy : you were only fourteen and there was nothing remotely husband-material about Patrick. 
As children, you got along well enough, despite Patrick's habit of using you to get whatever he wanted from his parents, who adored you, by making you ask for anything on his behalf, but as teenagers, you fought frequently. Patrick was wild and messy, while you were the opposite, always obedient. He saw you as a pain in the ass for always sticking to the rules, and you hated how unserious he was. But, eventually, at fifteen, he had grown on you. You developed a bit of a crush on him, having been the victim of his constant teasing. However, witnessing the way Patrick treated other girls had convinced you not to pursue it or even mention it.
"Patrick!" You called out, raising your voice to catch his attention. He looked up, scanning the area until his eyes met yours. A grin spread across his face as he recognized you, closing the distance between you with quick steps. "No way!" He exclaimed as you stood and enveloped him in a warm hug.
After exchanging pleasantries, you gestured towards your dessert. "Want some cake?" Patrick hesitated for a moment, you could tell he had better things to do but his curiosity piqued as he read the inscription on the cake. "Sure." He replied, taking a seat opposite you and grabbing a spoon from your plastic bag. "Is it your birthday?" He asked, already digging into the chocolate cake. You nodded. "Happy birthday then." He said with a smile, clinking his spoon against yours before indulging in the sweet treat.
You talked for a while about your lives. Patrick was still involved in professional tennis, just as you remembered your mother mentioning, but the prodigy of your youth now confided he struggled to make a living from it, only occasionally qualifying for tournaments. You shared your life as a housewife with him, mentioning your involvement in philanthropic events when he asked you how you occupied your days, half lying as you felt there wasn't much else noteworthy to say.
He began reminiscing about your shared childhood, managing to bring laughter to such a somber day. The way his smile made his lips curl stirred butterflies in your stomach and brought a blush to your cheeks. You thought he looked even better than you remembered, his face now adorned with a beard and subtle lines of age that only enhanced his charm. You regretted wearing yoga pants and a cozy sweatshirt that evening. You were now also extra aware that your hair was likely disheveled and your face swollen from crying. Not that you sought his approval of your appearance, but you couldn't help but hope he didn't see you as a complete mess. Well, perhaps a part of you secretly wished he found you attractive too.
The shop had closed, and you found yourself standing on the sidewalk with Patrick, engrossed in conversation as he smoked a cigarette. He had offered one to you, but you declined, mentioning that your husband would never allow it. "Do you always do what your husband tells you to do?" He asked, curiosity in his eyes. You paused, genuinely considering the question. Doing what your husband wanted was easier than thinking for yourself. "Pretty much." You answered with a shrug. "And where is that amazing husband today?" He continued, a smirk playing on his lips as the cigarette dangled precariously. You bit your lower lip, unable to respond, knowing that voicing the truth would bring you to tears again. Instead, you faked a smile, but your downturned eyebrows betrayed your true emotions. Patrick studied you intensely and sighed. "I can’t believe you became such a boring little housewife." He spat out, clearly not trying to comfort you. You shot him a death glare. "Where is the brat I grew up with? You used to give me shit all the time. That was hot." He mumbled the last part. He thought you were hot back then? If only you had known, your life might have turned out differently. Not that you wouldn't still be married to the same guy, but you'd probably be hating Patrick's guts right now. After a bit of fooling around, he would have found a way to let you down and become your enemy. Perhaps it would be better than feeling giddy inside because your childhood crush had finally called you hot, more than ten years later. "You know, fifteen years old me would have died hearing you call me hot." You revealed, letting out an amused snort. "Really? Damn, another missed opportunity for Zweig." He said, clicking his tongue and shaking his head, feigning disappointment. "But you still are, you know, hot." You grinned at him, genuinely pleased by his compliment. Your heartbeat was going crazy. This was even worse than you had thought, you liked the attention. "Even if you have the personality of wet bread now." You whined loudly and slapped his arm as he burst into laughter. Typical Patrick, always disappointing you somehow.
You continued to talk for a while. When your legs grew tired, you sat on the edge of the sidewalk, and Patrick followed, sitting next to you, his muscular thigh resting against yours. You asked about his friend Art, the boy who always followed him around when you were kids. His expression grew somber for a moment, and you sensed it was a complicated story. "We don’t really talk anymore." He said quietly. Whatever had happened between them, it had clearly affected him deeply. He pinched his lips together, and you gently patted his back. Under the streetlight, you noticed a smudge of chocolate at the corner of his mouth. Without thinking, you licked your thumb and wiped it away. "So messy." You remarked, feeling oddly maternal with him when he was acting all vulnerable in front of you. "Gross." He snorted, but there was a hint of a smile in his eyes.
After exchanging contacts and promising to ‘do this again’, a comfortable silence finally settled between you. "Let me walk you back to your car." Patrick offered, his gaze fixed on you. "I took an Uber." You admitted. He rolled his eyes. Of course, you did. If he wasn’t already convinced you were living the high life, he certainly was now. "Want me to drive you back?" He asked. You nodded. It was cold outside and you didn’t want to wait for someone to pick you up. "Okay, follow me. I parked over there to avoid the fees." He stood up and extended his hand to you, helping you stand up. He didn’t let go as he led you to the other side of the street. "So cheap." You chuckled. The contrast between the spoiled child you once knew and the thrifty man he had become was startling. "I was just around here to buy some smokes. Imagine the fees, it’s almost midnight now!" He said, defending his frugality. The skin of his hand felt rough against yours, but the firm grip was pleasant. It had been so long since your husband had held your hand that way, so tightly, as if he didn’t want to lose you.
You walked hand in hand in silence, the only sound being your heavy breathing as you struggled to keep up with his pace. The low temperature added a slight chill to your heated cheeks. Once you reached his car, Patrick opened the passenger door for you. It took you a moment to register his gesture, so out of character for the Patrick you remembered. "So gentlemanly. Have you gotten soft?" You teased, a smirk playing on your lips. "Me soft? I’ll show you soft!" He snorted, pinching your waist in the same teasing way he did when you were teenagers. You covered your stomach with your arms, trying to protect yourself from his touch. "As always, all talk." You joked. But Patrick’s expression shifted, he wasn’t joking anymore. His eyes locked onto yours, intense and searching, as if trying to read your mind. Were you flirting back for the sake of it, or did you really want him? Maybe a bit of both. Your heart raced, and you had difficulty swallowing as you stared back at him.  Without warning, he grabbed your jaw and pulled you into a passionate kiss, his lips crashing against yours with an urgency that took your breath away. His tongue tasted your lips, and before you knew it, he had you pinned against the car, deepening the kiss with an intensity that made your head spin. "I'm married…" You mumbled against his lips, the words muffled but not breaking away from the kiss. Patrick pulled back slightly, sharing his breath with yours, a mischievous grin spread across his face. "That's not my problem, though, is it?" He whispered, his voice husky and teasing. There was the Patrick you knew. You felt a shiver run down your spine, a mix of excitement and guilt swirling inside you. You decided to brush aside that feeling, wrapping your arms around his neck and eagerly savoring the taste of his lips once more.
In an instant, you found yourself sprawled across the back seat of Patrick's messy car, his body pressed against yours. His mouth trailed hot kisses down your neck as his hands roamed under your top, sending shivers through your body. The rational part of your mind knew this was wrong, but the pleasure coursing through you felt undeniably right. It had been so long since you had experienced such intimacy that the touch of his calloused hands fondling your breasts and his warm tongue teasing your jaw was almost enough to send you over the edge. Patrick's intense focus on your body made it difficult to think clearly. You gasped when his thumbs flicked your nipples, the sensation sending jolts of pleasure through you. "Kiss me." You breathed, your voice barely more than a moan. He obliged, capturing your mouth with his in a searing kiss. Your hands wandered over his back, feeling the taut muscles beneath his shirt, a vivid contrast to your husband's softer figure. The car's cramped space seemed to heighten the intensity of your connection, every touch and kiss amplified in the enclosed, chaotic setting. You could swear you were lying on top of dirty gym clothes reeking of sweat, but you didn’t care. Patrick's kisses grew more demanding, and you responded with equal enthusiasm, losing yourself in the passion of the moment. This was wrong but you needed him.
You hooked one of your legs around his hips, pulling him closer to your core as your hands slid under the hem of his pants, grasping his firm butt. Your fingernails dug into his skin, coaxing a deep grunt from his throat. A triumphant smile spread across your lips. You were the reason Patrick Zweig was moaning. He broke the kiss, his eyes locking onto yours, as if silently questioning how far you were willing to go. You knew he wanted to be sure you wanted this, but in that moment, wisdom was far from your reach. Biting your lower lip, you rolled your hips under him, feeling the undeniable heat between you. "You’re a tease." He whispered, his voice serious. You shook your head in response, your eyes conveying your desire. "No." You murmured, your lips barely an inch from his. "I just know what I want." With those words, Patrick's hesitation vanished. He removed your sweatshirt with practiced ease as he trailed kisses down your neck to your cleavage, each press of his lips leaving a burning imprint on your skin, his tongue circling your nipple until it hardened under the attention. You arched into him, your body begging for more. 
"Fuck, you have such nice tits." His words turned you on almost as much as his skilled tongue on your body. Your husband used to speak to you this way, lavishing you with compliments and adoration as if you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He had once worshiped your body with such devotion. Now, the only comments he made were about changes in your figure, like when the cold weather made you skip your runs and your thighs lost some of their muscles. You hadn’t given it much thought until this moment, when Patrick began showering you with attention. It was then only that you realized how much you missed hearing those praises.
Patrick was drooling all over your chest, his teeth grazing against the skin of your perky breasts as he explored every inch of your skin with his tongue. You ran your fingers through the dark curls of his hair, tugging gently whenever his sucking made your legs tremble. His kisses traced a path down your stomach, and all you could think about was how much you wanted his mouth to continue lower. It seemed he had the same plan in mind when he slid your pants off. You glanced down and felt a wave of embarrassment. How could you have left the house in those unflattering worn-out grandma panties? The waistband elastic barely clung to the fabric, but thankfully, Patrick didn’t seem to notice or mind. Before you knew it, your panties were lost somewhere in the mess of his car, between old socks and empty Gatorade bottles. He spread your legs, positioning himself between them, his hands holding your knees apart and his eyes burning with desire as he took in the sight of you. At least you were relieved that the laser removal had done its job, leaving you smooth and bare. "I’m going to make you feel good, babe." He murmured as he spread your folds, revealing your glistening clit, inner lips and opening. You had been wet ever since you had felt his mouth on yours. He slid the tip of his tongue against your entrance, sending a tickling sensation through your insides. He spent a few teasing seconds with slow, short licks before pushing his tongue deep inside. "More…" You moaned, your eyes closing in pleasure. "Look at me." He commanded, his voice steady. You obeyed, locking eyes with him. The sight of him between your legs made you even wetter. Your husband did this from time to time, on special occasions, like your birthday. Your birthday. The memory of that neglected day suddenly filled you with sadness, but there was no time to dwell on it as Patrick’s eager mouth worked its magic. His enthusiastic attention left you breathless, pushing away any lingering thoughts of the man who shared your life. He shoved his whole face into your cunt, devouring you with voracious hunger as his nose bumped against your reddened clit. The sensation was more than you could handle. You raised your arms above your head, grasping the door handle for support, and pushed your hips against his face, desperate for more. All you wanted was to wrap your legs around his head and ride his mouth, but his strong hands held your thighs apart, preventing you from moving.
Patrick was messy, spreading your juices across his face as he sloppily made out with your pussy. The chaos of his approach only heightened the whole experience. You weren’t entirely sure if it was intentional, but you could have sworn you felt his tongue brush against your asshole at one point. "Pat…" You tried to warn him, sensing that his tongue was, once again, dangerously close to your ass. "Shh." He hushed you, his voice low as he continued to do whatever he wished of your body. You tightened your grip on the door handle, feeling the muscles in your legs twitching as your orgasm neared. "I’m c-c..lose…" You babbled, your cheeks flushed with heat. You didn’t recognize the sounds escaping your lips. You were usually more reserved in bed. You had always believed that such sounds were exaggerated in porn, but here you were, proving yourself wrong with every moan and gasp. "Patrick!" You cried out as you came against his tongue, your toes curling and your eyes squeezing shut with pleasure. The intensity of the climax made it impossible to maintain eye contact with him.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, then his lips were back on yours, kissing you passionately. You could taste yourself, all tingy, on his tongue. Still panting from the orgasm he had just given you, the kiss made you crave for more. You craved the sensation of his body against yours. Until now, you had let Patrick take the lead, knowing you could later blame him for your straying. But now, you wanted to cross that line yourself, to break the rules. Consequences were the furthest thing from your mind, you were too consumed by desire. All you needed was him between your legs. You reached for the waistband of his shorts, but he gently pushed your hand away. "It's your birthday. Tonight, it's all about you." He murmured, sucking on your lower lip. Despite his desire, you sensed his genuine intention to make sure you felt special tonight. "Believe me, I couldn’t be more selfish than I am being right now." You assured him as you sneaked your hand back under the hem of his pants, pulling his length out. He was fully hard, it would make things easier. Yet, the impressive size of his cock presented a challenge you weren't entirely prepared for. There was only so much that your body could take. "Fuck, you’re big." You blurted out, unable to contain your surprise. He chuckled in response, a mixture of amusement and pride.
You attempted to roll him under, but the cramped space of the car made it difficult for either of you to change positions. Thankfully, Patrick understood your intention. With a swift, effortless movement, he flipped you on top of him, handling you as if you were weightless. He settled comfortably beneath you as you straddled him, your legs on either side of his body.
He placed his hands on your exposed breasts, squeezing them firmly with his strong grip. Though his touch was a bit rough, you felt safe in his hands. You trusted him. You reached behind you and grasped his length, locking eyes with him as you gently stroked it. "Bab-..." He began, his voice breaking. Growing up, you had endured endless hours of Patrick’s chatter, but never had you heard him struggle to form words. You bit your lower lip, turned on by the sight of him being so reactive to your touch. You drew back his foreskin, then lifted your hips to guide his engorged tip against your slick folds, slightly rubbing it against your wet opening and overstimulated clit. As you felt his cock pressing eagerly against your entrance, it became clear that your body wasn’t ready to take him all at once, it would need time to accommodate him fully. With deliberate care, you eased the head of his erection into your already-sensitive entrance, the sensation making you both gasp. You took your time, gradually taking more of him in, until his head was finally enveloped in your warmth. Growing impatient, Patrick's hands abandoned your tits and gripped your hips, guiding you down onto his length with a firm push until you were sitting on it. You whimpered in pain, your hands resting on his chest as you urged him to stop. You weren’t used to such intrusion, the only man you had ever been with was your husband, who was nowhere near as large as Patrick. 
"It hurts..." You whispered, your voice trembling. The burn of him stretching you in ways you had never experienced was too much for you. You needed a second to breath. "Shit, sorry..." He muttered, holding you still as you tried to adjust. "Fuck, you’re tight." You fell forward, pressing your lips to his, partly to seek comfort in the kiss and partly to make him shut up while you tried to focus. Kissing had always been your favorite part of lovemaking, it was when you felt most intimately connected to your husband, his mouth against yours while he was inside you. Now, you needed to feel Patrick sucking on your tongue to calm down and make you forget the temporary sting. "I’m okay…" You reassured him, starting to roll your hips on top of him. Feeling finally ready for more, you leaned back and placed your hands on his knees, beginning to ride him with a steady rhythm. He rested his hands on your hip bones, guiding your movements as his thumbs spread your folds apart. His gaze was locked on the connection between your bodies, completely absorbed in the sight of your tiny pussy sucking in his thick cock, while you kept your eyes on him. His breath grew uneven, his mouth slightly open as he focused on the pace of your body. "Look at you taking my dick so well." He groaned, his voice rough with desire. You responded with a moan, arching your back and pushing your chest forward, savoring every sensation.
You were fucking like never before, each thrust sending waves of pleasure that promised to leave your thighs sore for days to come. But you didn’t want to think about the aftermath. All that mattered in this moment was feeling his meaty length buried deep inside you, his tip bumping against your cervix as you forced yourself to take every inch he had to offer. You craved the sensation of his heavy sack squeezed under you as you sat back on his cock. "Fuck!" He gasped, his tongue hanging out in pure pleasure. "If I had known what a…" Bounce. "S-slut you were…" Bounce. "I would have fucked you years ago." You could only moan in response, overwhelmed by the intense pleasure. He planted his feet firmly into the backseat and started thrusting upward, perfectly syncing with your bouncing. "Patrick…" You breathed out, overwhelmed by the sensation of his pubic bone grinding against yours. Your clit was on fire, and you could feel yourself nearing the edge. You weren’t sure you were going to last much longer. "I know, baby." He murmured back, his eyes locked on yours for the first time in minutes. You both continued to move in perfect harmony, your motions becoming more urgent. The long, languid strokes were replaced by rapid, short thrusts. From the outside, you probably resembled animals in heat more than two people having sex. After minutes of fucking each other, it was clear that he was as desperate for release as you were.
"Babe… I’m close… Tell me you’re close…" His voice was urgent, and you met his gaze, nodding as you felt the tension build up tightly in your lower stomach. "I’m coming…" He warned, but you continued to ride him, unable to come just yet. "Off…" He begged, grabbing your ass, ready to help you dismount him. But you clenched around him, coaxing him with your tight grip, and felt his cum painting your walls. The sensation pushed you over the edge, and you moaned his name, but your orgasm was abruptly interrupted as Patrick hurriedly lifted you off him. He pulled out, glazing the remainder of his cum on your ass and lower back. "Fuck, I’m so sorry." What was he apologizing for? For interrupting you mid-high? For coming inside you? You were nothing but grateful. Besides, you were the one who had held onto him as he was about to climax. If anything, you should have been the one apologizing. But, in truth, you felt no remorse whatsoever. He grabbed a towel from his gym bag and began to wipe his semen from your skin. You leaned in closer, wrapping your arms snugly around his neck. "Don’t worry about it…" You whispered in his ear, playfully nibbling on his earlobe.
The drive back to your house was quiet, both of your minds still reeling from what had just occurred. When Patrick finally parked in front of your house, the reality of the moment sank in, it was time to leave. The warmth and comfort of his embrace had felt so right that the thought of parting was almost unbearable. You glanced around, scanning the darkened windows of your neighborhood to ensure no prying eyes would witness your misbehavior. Then, heart pounding, you leaned closer to Patrick, your breath hitching in anticipation. You planted your lips on his, the kiss starting soft and hesitant, but quickly growing more passionate. His hand slid to the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair as he deepened the kiss. Your lips moved against his with a hunger you hadn't felt in years, a desperate need to hold onto the connection you had found tonight. Patrick responded eagerly, his other hand cupping your cheek, thumb brushing over your skin with a tenderness that sent shivers down your spine. The intensity of the kiss was overwhelming. His tongue teased the seam of your lips, and you opened for him, allowing the kiss to deepen even further. Patrick's way of kissing was delightfully messy, a trait you found endearing. The exchange of saliva between you two was all-consuming. Your fingers dug into his shoulders, pulling him closer, unwilling to let go. The taste of him, the feel of him, was intoxicating.
For a moment, you allowed yourself to get lost in the kiss, to forget about the world outside the car. Your hand wandered down his pants, feeling his length, still slick with your juices. But the reality of your situation clawed its way back into your mind when Patrick placed his hand on top of yours, gently urging it to stop. You broke away, breathless and conflicted, looking into Patrick's eyes one last time. "You should go back inside before I fuck you in front of all your neighbors." He whispered, his voice thick with desire and amusement. You giggled softly, the sound echoing in the car, and withdrew your hand from his crotch. The moment left you both in a lingering silence, your heart pounding against your ribs as you tried to gather your thoughts.
With a reluctant sigh, you stepped out of the car, the cool night air a sharp reminder of the warmth in Patrick’s embrace. As you walked towards your front door, you glanced back one last time. Patrick was still watching you, his gaze unwavering. You waved him goodbye and watched him leave, a huge smile spreading across your face. As you approached your door, you noticed a package waiting for you. Bending down, you saw it was from your husband, with a note attached wishing you a happy birthday. A stab of guilt twisted in your stomach, and the smile faded from your lips. Now, you felt sorry.
That night, you tossed and turned, unable to sleep, haunted by the events of the evening. You had washed your clothes, but ultimately threw your panties into the trash, unable to bear the guilt they embodied. No amount of scrubbing in the shower could rid you of the feeling of dirt clinging to your skin. Even the Birkin bag your husband had gifted you seemed to judge you silently from its place in the closet.
Countless scenarios played out in your mind, each one a punishment for your infidelity. You worried about the possibility of being pregnant with another man's child, despite your IUD. What if someone had seen you with Patrick and informed your husband? Or worse, what if you had contracted a life-altering illness from Patrick? He was kind of the manwhore when you were teenagers, what if that was still the case and your body was slowly killing you? 
Fear was eating you from the inside, compelling you to schedule an appointment with your gynecologist first thing in the morning. However, the thought of facing your regular doctor and his inevitable judgment was unbearable. Instead, you booked an appointment with a clinic out of town, taking great care to show up with sunglasses to avoid recognition.
When the doctor informed you that most STDs could not be detected so soon after exposure, your heart sank. The test results might not be accurate, even if you were infected. "Contacting your partner to ask if they've been tested recently might be more reassuring." He suggested. But that was not an option. You knew yourself and you knew you wanted nothing to do with Patrick, it would only complicate matters further. He mentioned taking PEP as a precaution, and you readily agreed.
You swallowed the pill with a gulp of water, nerves taut as you awaited the test results. Just then, your phone rang, displaying your husband's name. Panic surged through you. Did he already know? Taking a deep breath, you answered as calmly as possible. "Yes, lovey?" He was calling to ask about the package and to apologize for not being able to call the previous night. "Yes, I did. Thank you so much. I love it." You truly adored the bag, your husband knew you so well. You couldn’t believe what you had done to him. How could you betray such a good man? "You shouldn’t work so much." You replied when he explained that work had kept him late. A nurse approached, handing you an envelope. The results. "Oh, I’m sorry, someone’s at the door. I’ll call you later. Love you." You hung up and tore open the envelope, your hands trembling. The results were there in black and white : you were clean. You were overcome with contentment, but doubt lingered. What if you weren’t? What if it was too soon to be sure? You needed certainty.
Grabbing your phone, you began to text Patrick, the cause of all your problems. You had blocked his number the night before, determined to erase him from your life and never speak to him again. But now, faced with an emergency, you had no choice but to unblock his number and confront your past mistake. Your fingers hesitated over the keys, but you knew you needed answers, if not for yourself, for your marriage that was at risk.
← [To : Patrick Zweig - 10:15am] Look, I’m freaking out… Have you been tested for STDs?
You watched the screen, seeing the three little dots appear, indicating he was typing. Relief washed over you, thank god he was awake.
→ [From : Patrick Zweig - 10:15am] wtf… ← [To : Patrick Zweig - 10:16am] I don’t feel so well… → [From : Patrick Zweig - 10:17am] Well that’s not because of me, I’m clean. But next time, maybe ask that before you let a random guy fuck you raw.
Next time? Oh, there wasn’t going to be a next time. And it was all his fault that you had lost your mind and become so desperate last night. He had awakened a beast within you, one incapable of rational thoughts. Thoughts like condoms.
← [To : Patrick Zweig - 10:17am] Patrick… → [From : Patrick Zweig - 10:18am] I’m serious, I’m clean. ← [To : Patrick Zweig - 10:18am] Thank you.
You exhaled in reassurance. It was easy for men to lie but deep down, you knew you could trust him. He had nothing to gain from lying to you. Plus he wasn’t just a stranger, he was the boy who grew up with you. He had cared about you in the past, he wouldn’t put you at risk, right?
On your way back, you made a point to stop at the nearest pharmacy, securing Plan B as an extra precaution.
Later in the afternoon, another text arrived from him.
→ [From : Patrick Zweig - 3:33pm] I took a test, just for you, so stop being so… psycho, okay? [picture attached]
The image displayed the results of his blood test. You couldn't help but be grateful that he had taken such steps to reassure you.
← [To : Patrick Zweig - 3:34pm] I trusted you but thank you. That means a lot. → [From : Patrick Zweig - 3:34pm] A lot? Like enough to let me hit it again now that you know I’m clean?
You scoffed at his text, but a smile tugged at your lips nonetheless. He wanted you again. You hesitated to answer. There was something about the chase that thrilled you more than giving in, a line you swore never to cross again. Biting nervously on your acrylic nails, you dialed his number. "You're such a homewrecker." You blurted when he finally answered. "Excuse me?" His laughter filled the line. "We can't do this, I'm married!" You reminded him, though his chuckle only widened your grin. "And?" His response made you whine in frustration. How did you end up entangled with someone with such loose morals? "Don't you care that I belong to someone else?" You pressed, wondering if he was even capable of feeling jealousy. "You belonged to me last night." He whispered. So he only lived purely in the moment? "You sucked me in so well, sitting on my dick like you were meant to be there." He added, his words making you nibble on your lower lip. Your body heated at the memory. "Can you still feel me?" His question hung in the air. "Patrick!" You whimpered, torn between wanting him to stop and wanting him to continue so you could sneak your hand between your legs and play with yourself.
It didn’t take long for you to fall back into his arms. A few phone calls, some initiated by him, others by you. You felt powerless against him, and he knew it well, his words stirring up desire and leaving you perpetually hungry for more. So when he asked you out for coffee, of course, you went.
Initially, your encounters were under the cover of night, hidden away in his car, far from curious eyes. He would pick you up discreetly, down the street, driving aimlessly until finding a secluded spot. But now, caution faded as your craving intensified. He took you in broad daylight, parking just blocks from your home. You had done it all. On every seat, every position and he had explored every inch of your body, bullied your tight little pussy and throat. His fat cock had stretched you out in any possible way and you just couldn’t put an end to it. In just six days, Patrick had unraveled you, making you come more than you ever did. You knew there was no returning to the old you, to the days of vanilla sex and mundane desires. You had transformed into a new woman. Cravings you never knew existed now consumed you, discovering your body in ways previously unimagined and experiencing climaxes that sent waves through your entire being. Patrick had opened your eyes to the fact that, despite what you believed, you had never truly experienced an orgasm before, certainly not like this. It was now clear that you had always been naturally submissive, longing for domination, but you had never encountered a man who could fulfill that role.
You had also discovered that you didn't hate giving head as much as you once thought. With your husband, it had been a chore, something you did out of obligation rather than desire. But with Patrick, it was different. You found yourself loving it, even though he was far from gentle with it. The first time you had done it, he had let you take the lead initially, but he quickly took control when he realized how truly inexperienced you were. You knew the basics, but you hadn't ventured beyond them.  All those years, it had done the job to make your husband come so you had never questioned it. Now, most of the time, Patrick held your hair in a tight fist, tugging it forcefully as he fucked your throat. You had come to enjoy the roughness and the humiliation that accompanied it, savoring the moments when he would slap your face lightly with the head of his dick before releasing his sticky load on your bare face. He praised you every time he came, calling you his obedient little slut, and you were eager to impress him with how naughty you could be, pushing the limits each time. You loved it so much that when your mouth wasn't on his cock, you found yourself nuzzling his fuzzy sack, drawn to the addictive, musky scent of his sweat.
Patrick insisted that he couldn't commit to anything beyond tennis. Serious relationships, marriage, children. None of it interested him. You didn’t mind, though, you already had a husband for those things. Still, you found it amusing how the supposedly untamable Patrick always ended up texting you, seeking more, making time for your meetings in his routine.
The whole STD scare had, however, left you cautious about letting him come inside you. You suspected he had other partners. So Patrick pulled out, like a good boy. Instead, he made sure to cover you with his cum. Breasts, stomach, ass, neck, face, and hair coated with the pearly liquid. Showers had become even more of a necessity after every encounter. He knew how embarrassed you felt rushing home in stained clothes, and oddly enough, he seemed to take great pleasure in it. You even had a sneaking suspicion he might had been driving behind you to witness every single step of your walks of shame. If he kept this up, your cover wouldn’t last a day when your husband would be back. He would surely notice the gigantic pile of dirty crusty laundry. Or the cum dripping from your chin every time you came back from your promenades. So you found yourself begging him to fill you up again. Patrick's smile in response was so bright, you knew he had once again manipulated you into getting exactly what he wanted. Just like when you were kids.
A few days had passed, and your husband returned home, showering you with gifts he had bought on his trip. You felt relieved that your relationship dynamic remained unchanged. You cherished his presence, he loved you deeply and expressed it in many ways. Yet, in return, you found yourself reverting to the role of devoted housewife : doing his laundry, preparing his meals, and jerking him off until he fell asleep. But you weren’t as available for Patrick, and he made sure to make you pay for it. He flooded your phone with pictures of his cock and videos of him touching himself. To avoid constant interruptions, you kept your phone on 'do not disturb'. You had also cleverly changed Patrick's contact name to 'Patricia'. To your husband, she was your new friend you had met at the gym. And Patricia was a very demanding friend.
← [To : Patricia - 11:44am] Stop it! → [From : Patricia - 11:44am] Send me a picture of your tits and I will stop.
You hurried to the bathroom and obliged, sending him pictures of you squeezing your full boobs together. Yet, that didn’t stop him from asking you more. And each time, you provided him with pictures of your ass or your cunt spread out enticingly just for him. You didn’t have enough time in your day to take care of your husband and satisfy Patrick’s never ending requests. Why on earth did you have to engage with a jobless man?
→ [From : Patricia - 11:49am] You’re so hot, I want more. Are you free for a ride right now?
With your husband beside you, loneliness could no longer be blamed for drawing you closer to Patrick. You found yourself forced to respond to every message. You craved to be the center of his world, yearning to occupy his thoughts every hour of the day. You longed for his love. It wasn't the thrill of the chase that excited you anymore, it was the idea of being possessed by Patrick completely.
The freezing cold outside finally drove you both to Patrick's place. It just wasn’t possible anymore to fuck in the car. Until then, your encounters had been confined to the cramped vehicle, so entering his apartment felt refreshing, and a bit scary. As Patrick swung open the door, the lingering scent of unwashed dishes hit you. Sports bags cluttered every corner, empty soda bottles covered the table, and a layer of dust settled over the few ornaments he owned. His place was a mess. "That's really where you live?" You couldn't help but ask, taken aback to find the Zweigs’ golden child living in such chaotic conditions. Patrick chuckled in response, clearly unfazed. "Are you being judgmental? Not all of us are blowing billionaires." He joked, gesturing for you to come inside. Up close, it was even worse.
With nothing edible in his fridge, you both decided on take-out. Unable to ignore the mess, you took it upon yourself to tackle the dirty dishes. "You really don't have to do that." Patrick insisted repeatedly. "But I do." You retorted firmly, scrubbing away. "Can't you smell this?" You teased, glancing back at him. He shrugged, unbothered. "Maybe I should get myself a wife too." His comment caught you off guard. You snorted and turned toward him, staring at him in disbelief. He had told you many times that the idea of marriage made him gag. Plus, you knew his aversion to commitment and serious relationships. "So she can be your cleaning slave?" You challenged, raising an eyebrow. He really wasn’t any different than any other man. "No, so she can force me to do it." He admitted with a grin. He surprised you with his response. You couldn't help but smile back. "Clean the table, you pig." You playfully commanded, swatting his ass with the dish towel. He laughed and began gathering the discarded bottles for disposal. "See, that’s motivating."
Fucking Patrick in his bed felt strangely intimate. Despite his sheets looking and smelling like a dozen people had been there before you, laying there, idly, with him made you feel special. It was as if he were inviting you into the most private part of his life, the place where he was most vulnerable. His bed was just slightly larger than his car's backseat but smaller than your own bed. Even when you lay on opposite sides, it felt as though you were still all over each other. And you were, unable to keep your hands off each other, like horny teenagers.
Patrick was driving into you from behind, his other hand pressing your face into the pillow while the other firmly gripped your waist. The pillow, soaked with the heavy scent of sweat, was the object of your frantic nuzzling, much like a cat in heat . "I can’t believe…" He started, his voice strained as he thrust into you harder than he was before. "...he’s letting a slut like you be u..u-unfucked." His moan was raw, punctuated by a sharp smack as his hand spanked your exposed behind. You couldn’t believe it either. You were ready to explore nearly any boundary, nothing could be off limits with enough convincing. You knew you could have been your husband’s ultimate fantasy if only he was interested. The spank sent jolts through your body, causing your legs to tremble beneath him. Now, the pillow was completely soaked with your drool.
As he continued to fuck you, you felt his thumb grazing teasingly against your asshole. Well, maybe there were, in fact, some boundaries you weren’t just ready to cross. "Pat… What are you doing?" You gasped, feeling a thick gob of his spit trickling down your crack. "No…" You whimpered, feeling him smear his saliva over you. "Just a finger." He assured you, pushing his thumb into the tight ring of flesh without any warning. You closed your eyes, clenching around the unexpected intrusion, but remained silent. You knew you couldn’t deny him anything.
In the end, it turned out to be more than just one finger. And now, you were nestling against him, spent, face buried in the curve of his neck while he lazily smoked a cigarette. "Do you think your husband is seeing other women?" He asked, his free hand aimlessly tracing circles on your hip. Just the thought of it made you mad. "He must be." You admitted quietly, lifting your head to meet Patrick's gaze, sadness in your eyes. "He never fucks me." You revealed. "Never?" Patrick's disbelief was evident, his voice rising in shock. You knew it wasn't entirely true, there were some moments, perhaps once a month, when he would crawl on top of you. "Can that old fuck even get it up?" He scoffed, taking a deep drag on his cigarette. You knew he could, just not with you. Your suspicions about another woman lingered, the subtle scent of women's perfume on his clothes when he returned home, the constant need to check his phone, or his newfound obsession with meticulously trimming his pubes, details you chose to ignore. "He's an idiot." Patrick spat out, his voice thick with disdain. You hated whenever he brought up your husband, knowing Patrick had nothing but contempt for him. "He's got the hottest wife, a Rolls-Royce of a pussy, and he's messing around." His blunt words gave you butterflies. Did he genuinely think of you as the 'hottest wife' with the 'Rolls-Royce of pussies' or was he simply buttering you up for another round? It didn't matter in that moment, your mouth was already wrapped around his cock, tasting yourself on him.
It was dark outside, and you knew it was time to head home. You were relying on Patrick to drive you back but he was so deeply asleep you couldn’t wake him up. So you ordered an Uber, and it would be arriving soon. You carefully crawled out of bed, gathering your clothes from the floor. As you were dressing, you noticed Patrick stirring. "Mmh, you’re leaving?" He mumbled, still half-asleep. "You know I can't stay the night…" You replied softly, leaning over to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. He smiled, though his eyes remained closed. "Next time, clean your place, or I’m not fucking you." You whispered into his ear. "By just being in those sheets, I probably tripled my body count." You playfully bit his ear, eliciting a soft whimper from him. "Goodnight, Patrick." You said once you were fully dressed. "Night, honey." He responded in a playful tone. Despite the unseriousness of it, his affectionate nickname brought a smile to your face.
On your way out, you noticed pictures adorning the walls. They depicted various eras of Patrick’s life, and you paused to observe them. There were photos of Patrick with his cousins, whom you had met a few times, pictures of him winning tournaments and proudly lifting his trophies, and candid moments with Art, both of them acting like fools. He looked the same yet so different, the joy in his eyes from those earlier days seemed absent now. You wanted to understand what had changed. Despite Patrick slowly revealing parts of himself to you, there were still many things he kept hidden. Your phone beeped, the Uber had arrived, and with a final glance at the pictures, you left his apartment.
The next time you visited Patrick's apartment, you were pleasantly surprised by the transformation. Gone were the dirty dishes, the floor had been vacuumed, and fresh sheets adorned the bed. It seemed he had taken your words to heart. A smile tugged at your lips as you thought, perhaps Patrick did need a wife to keep him in order.
Patrick’s apartment had become your cocoon, the place you retreated to whenever the monotony of your housewife life became too suffocating. It was here that you felt truly alive, where Patrick would wake up the woman in you. You now only met during the day, finding it far easier to sneak away while your husband was at work than to lie about your whereabouts in the evenings. As soon as Patrick was done with practice, you would meet him at his place. Most of the time, you were so eager to see him that you would be waiting for minutes in front of his front door. You knew he was just as eager to see you, as he would still be covered in sweat from his workout. He never took the time to shower first, and you secretly loved it. The feel of his tense, sweat-dampened body against yours, his intoxicating scent, a mix of musk and cheap drugstore deodorant, made your desire for him even stronger.
However, this new routine left you with no time to visit the gym yourself. But that was alright. Patrick had become your new workout, his intense touch keeping your heart rate up in ways no treadmill ever could. The rush of adrenaline, the rapid beat of your heart, the fire in your veins, all of it was more exhilarating than any exercise. Plus, Patrick’s adoration of your body made you love it more than ever, making trips to the gym unnecessary anyway. No exercise had ever made you appreciate the way your breasts sat so nicely on your chest, a bit heavy from their natural weight. You had once considered getting them done as gravity began to take its toll, but now you thought they were perfect. And Patrick thought so too, as they fitted so nicely in his mouth. Your hips, which you once found too bulky, never looked better than when he had his hands on them as he plunged deeply into you. Your butt that you thought was too flat never looked fuller than when you were sitting on his cock. It wasn't just Patrick's actions that made you feel like the sexiest woman alive, it was his words. He would whisper all kinds of things in your ear when he was inside you, words that made you so wet, it was almost embarrassing. He talked about how tight you were, how sexy your body was, and how gorgeous your face looked when you were coming. Whether they were lies or the truth, you couldn't tell, but he boosted your confidence like no one ever had. You felt like a goddess in his arms.
Whenever you would show up, he would greet you with a knowing smile, pulling you into a deep kiss that made your knees weak. Patrick's hands roamed over your body, making you forget everything else. His whispers in your ear, his touch, his very presence, they all made you feel desired, wanted, alive. Every rendez-vous left you craving more, and each time you left his apartment, you knew you'd be back in no time, unable to leave him for more than half a day. But as days turned into weeks, you knew you were playing with fire, and the thrill of the affair was as intoxicating as it was dangerous. One afternoon, as you lay tangled in Patrick’s sheets, you found yourself wondering how long you could keep up with this. You knew you couldn’t choose between the two anymore. In the past, you would have chosen your husband without a single thought, because he had taken such good care of you for so long and you loved him. But now, everything had changed. Patrick had entered your life and turned your world upside down. The passion, the excitement, the way he made you feel, things you had never experienced with your husband, had left you utterly confused. The lines between love and lust blurred, and you found yourself falling for Patrick in a way you never anticipated. Of course, you still loved your husband more than you loved Patrick, but you loved who you were when you were with Patrick.
As he searched for a lighter, cigarette dangling from his lips, he opened the drawer of the bedside table. Unable to resist your curiosity about Patrick's nighttime essentials, you peered into the drawer, intrigued by what he considered indispensable for his bedtime routine. Your gaze fell upon something unexpected. Well, not totally unexpected since it was Patrick, but something curious. Crawling over him, you reached into the drawer and pulled out the object, examining it closely. It was a fleshlight and it looked well-used. "What’s this?" You asked, holding the item up in front of his face. He simply stared back at you, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. "Come on, don’t play dumb." He replied nonchalantly as he lit his cigarette. To be honest, you only had a vague idea of what it was, you had heard about those but had never seen one in person, with your own two eyes.
"Show me how you use it?" You asked, extending the toy toward him. "Really?" He raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised, but you nodded firmly in response. You had always enjoyed watching Patrick jerk off, though typically you watched from beneath him as he fucked his fist close to your face, coating it with his slimy release. This was an opportunity to watch him from a different angle. "So I guess tennis is not the reason your arm is so big?" He shot a death glare at you and you stole the cigarette from his lips, taking a long drag of it. He grabbed the lube from the drawer and coated his length with it. "Will you be able to keep your hands away from me?" He joked and you rolled your eyes, blowing the smoke in his face, placing the cigarette back between his lips. 
He slid the silicone sleeve over his length, the fake pussy spreading wide against the base of his shaft. You gasped at the sight, aroused by the image of another pussy, even if artificial, spread open for him. It was undeniably hot, but deep down, you doubted you could ever enjoy watching a real pussy receive Patrick in the same way. Patrick's eyes were locked on the fleshlight, his wrist moving frantically, and his mouth hung open in a silent expression. Seeing the cigarette balanced between his lips, you quickly snatched it away and extinguished it in the ashtray, preventing it from falling onto his chest and burning him. You watched closely as Patrick's length thrust rhythmically into the toy, the slick movements captivating your gaze. "Touch yourself." He commanded, his voice heavy with lust. You looked up at him, biting the inside of your cheek, your eyes reflecting both hesitation and excitement. Slowly, you reached for the aching spot between your legs, your fingers beginning to stroke your folds with agonizing slowness, a deliberate tease meant to drive him wild. "Fuck, that’s hot." He murmured, his eyes glued to your hand as it disappeared between your crossed legs. "Spread your legs. I want to see." He demanded, his voice low and urgent. You spread your legs, allowing him a clear view of your wet cunt and the fingers dancing over it. As you slid your middle finger inside yourself, your eyes locked onto his cock. 
"Baby…" He groaned, his free hand reaching down to squeeze his balls. You added a second digit, riding your hand the way you did when no one else was watching. Despite your efforts, you couldn’t be as vocal as you were when Patrick fucked you. Touching yourself had always been a secret act, performed silently under the blanket to avoid waking your husband up. Still, you panted heavily, the pleasure building with every stroke. After a few minutes of you both pleasuring yourselves on either side of the bed, Patrick lifted his hips, his thighs twitching. He came with a low grunt into the plastic toy, his body shuddering with release. You continued to rub your clit, your fingers moving in desperate, needy circles. It only took a few more strokes of your swollen bud before you reached your climax, your eyes locked with his as you moaned his name, the scent of both your orgasms filling the room.
You glanced at him through half-lidded eyes, your chest rising and falling with each breath. He was grinning from ear to ear, a look of triumph in his eyes. Reaching for your hand, which was resting between your legs, he lifted it to his face and examined it. "Why did you remove it?" He asked, his voice a low murmur, as he sucked on your fingers, licking them clean. It? Oh, your ring. "Felt weird wearing it when my hand's always on your dick." You explained, watching him lavish attention on your slick fingers, covered with your juices. You couldn’t help but bite your lower lip at the sight of him. "That was the fun part of it." He replied, a mischievous glint in his eyes. You frowned, studying his face. The fun part of it? Was the thought of fucking a married woman more exciting than fucking you? "Wait, is this turning you on?" You asked, your voice rising with shock.
Now that you thought about it, there was something deeply perverse about the way he always ensured you went home with his cum dripping from your cunt and pooling in your panties. Or how he'd make you swallow his load and then ask you to ‘give your husband a kiss’ for him. He was actually enjoying this situation.
"Duh. Obviously." He said with a smirk. "You're a freak." You muttered, pushing his face with your hand, interrupting his intense sucking. "And you're a cheating whore. We all have our crosses to bear." He retorted, his tone carrying a hint of cynicism. You opened your mouth in shock. "Little shit." You said, slapping his shoulder. Patrick just chuckled, the sound resonating through the walls. You stared at him, a mixture of annoyance and amusement swirling within you. It was moments like this that confused you. Sometimes, in Patrick’s embrace, you felt so alive that you questioned your life choices. You wondered if sacrificing your womanhood for a comfortable life was worth it. Yet, leaving your husband for Patrick would be a foolish decision. While your heart fluttered in his presence, you understood that you were just something exciting for him to play with, just a new toy he had stolen from someone else.
But whenever you began to question your feelings, he had a way of reminding you just how much better he was for you than your husband, with his hands on your throat and his tongue all over your chest. 
"Such a needy whore." He groaned, feeling you clench around his cock with desperation. "Please…" You pleaded, your voice trembling as you begged him to move inside you, but he remained still, toying with you. You wrapped your legs tightly around his waist, pulling him closer to your core, yearning for more. "Always begging for my dick, huh?" He said, his grip on your neck tightening just enough to make you feel lightheaded. Finally, he gave in and began to pound into you, the sharp sound of his full balls smacking against your ass filling the room. You tried to moan in pure bliss, your mouth open in a silent scream as your hands roamed down his back. "Does he…" He asked, his voice husky as you gazed at him in awe. "f-f… fuck you like that?" While missionary was your husband’s favorite position, and yours as well, since it allowed you to kiss him, he had never gripped your neck so harshly or treated you as if you were just a hole to be filled. "N-no…" You gasped, struggling to produce any sound. "Only you…" You breathed out, your face flushed a bright red as you fought to catch your breath. Each thrust brought you closer to the edge, and before you realized it, you climaxed in a wave of silent pleasure, your eyes closed and mouth agape. Your juices spilled over his lower stomach and sack. You were barely aware of when Patrick followed, lost in near-unconsciousness beneath him. When you finally regained your senses, you could feel his thick warmth filling you deep inside.
You appreciated the aftercare with Patrick, especially when he felt he had gone a bit too far. Although he was turned on by pushing your limits, he felt guilty about making you nearly pass out. Now, both of you stood in his cramped shower, lathering each other with soap and enjoying the warm, calming water together. His tongue playfully brushed your earlobe as he whispered praises, his hands caressing your asscheeks. He told you how hot you were and how special it felt that you had abandoned yourself to him, allowing him to indulge in all sorts of twisted things. Yet, it wasn’t enough, he always wanted more. "I want to fuck your ass." He murmured, trying to gently ease the words into your brain and convince you. "I kinda noticed." You chuckled, feeling his warm breath tickle your skin. "I’ve never done it before." You confessed, though the knowing look in his eyes had already revealed your inexperience. He smirked, a hint of satisfaction in his gaze. "Ah, a virgin." He said, as he spread your cheeks apart, letting the warm water from the shower cascade down your crack. "What if it hurts?" You asked, your eyes searching his for reassurance. It’s not like he was exactly small. "I can prepare you so it won’t." He promised, his tone soothing. "But what’s the point if it doesn’t feel good?" You questioned, your voice trembling slightly. It wasn’t that the idea of anal sex was unpleasant, it just went against everything you had been taught about intimacy between a man and a woman. You weren't totally against the idea, to be fair, you were just scared of the discomfort. Also, it felt almost wrong to let another man be the first to explore that part of you, despite your husband’s lack of interest in it. "I can make you feel really good." He said, his breath warm against your neck as he trailed soft kisses from your ear to your collarbone. You shivered at the sensation, a mix of desire and hesitation in your voice. "You already make me feel really good." You refused yourself to him. Tonight wouldn’t be the night.
After drying off and dressing, you shared a lingering kiss. There was an unspoken understanding between you. This couldn’t last forever, but for now, it was enough. You slipped your ring back on, feeling the weight of it, both physically and mentally.
As you prepared to leave, Patrick walked you to the door. "Take care, and don’t forget to leave his ass." He said softly, wrapping your scarf around your neck with a tenderness that made your heart ache. "Sure." You replied, forcing a smile before stepping out into the cold night.
Patrick no longer bothered to mask the depth of his hatred for your husband. His remarks were frequent and biting, urging you to divorce. Yet, you knew his words were hollow, born from a contempt rather than a genuine desire to build a future with you. He would often stress how your happiness was the most important thing and that your husband no longer provided it, thus there was no point in staying. But he never said the words you desperately wanted to hear. You longed for him to tell you to divorce because he wanted you to be his. Only his.
While you wanted him to be fully yours as well, there were still many things you ignored about Patrick. As close as you wanted to be to him, he always maintained a distance, dismissing your questions or reminding you of your husband. You craved to know everything about him : What happened with his family? What happened with Art? How was his career doing? What were his dreams and hopes? Was he dating anyone? All these questions lingered in your mind, but you didn’t feel legitimate enough to ask those as his fuck buddy. Yet, you needed these answers to sneak your way into his heart and maybe become more than just a warm hole to him.
You knew the best way to pull information out of him was to ask at his most vulnerable moment : right after he came. "Are you seeing other girls?" You asked softly, brushing his hair back. His head was resting on your chest, your breasts glazed with his saliva and sweat. "Are you really asking me that when you have a whole ass husband waiting for you at home?" He stared at you, amused. "You're fucking me without condoms, I have every right to know!" You retorted, but the truth was you wanted to know if there was any competition for Patrick’s affection. You wanted to be the only one for him. "Don't worry, I'm being extra careful with other people." So there were other girls. Your stomach turned. You had no right to be jealous, but you were. Your mind raced in all directions. What did they look like? What was his type? Did they look anything like you? Were they also married women? Did he do to them the things he did to you? "But to be fair, you’re taking a lot of my time, so I don’t really meet new people lately." If keeping him busy was keeping him from other girls, you surely could find time to pay him more visits, at any time of the day. You were sure you could manage to make him stay home with you, no matter if he had practice or not, plans with friends or dates or whatever. You had a skilled tongue he couldn’t resist. "But no one is as good as you." He mumbled against your breast before circling one of your nipples with his tongue. His words hit you like a wave, flooding you with happiness and leaving you breathless. No one is as good as you. You wanted to scream with joy, your heart nearly bursting. In that instant, whether his dick was speaking for himself or not, he made you feel like you were the only one in the world that mattered.
Seeing Patrick was no longer just about the sex, even if he thought otherwise. While he was fucking you like a whore, you were quietly sneaking into his life. It had become your personal mission to form an emotional bond with him, to make yourself indispensable. It started with the meals you shared. You had bragged about your cooking, promising to let him taste your creations, and soon his kitchen had become your workshop. You were filling his stomach with your love, and in exchange, he filled your cunt with his own.
You also spent evenings watching movies and cuddling for hours on his worn-out couch on nights when your husband wasn’t home. You would always pretend to fall asleep, hoping this time Patrick would allow you to stay over. But he would always wake you at the end of the movie and drive you home.
But you would be back by morning, letting yourself in with the key under the doormat that had become unofficially your key and cooking him breakfast. Maybe you were intrusive, but he didn’t seem to mind when you would wake him up with your tongue on his balls. 
And every time he welcomed you a bit more into his life, you would push it farther. You wanted to know more, to dig deeper. "Patrick?" You asked one evening, nervous about whether your questions would be dismissed like all the other ones you had asked before. "Yes, babe?" He answered, his eyes closed, face buried into the pillow. "What really happened with your family?" Silence. He opened his eyes and turned to face you, a shadow of wariness crossing his features. "Why do you want to know?" He responded quickly. "It’s just, I knew your parents, and I’m surprised they would allow their precious boy to… struggle." You hesitated on that last word. While Patrick’s lifestyle seemed like chaos to you, he appeared content enough with it. Patrick sighed, rolling onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. "They didn’t allow it. I chose it." He finally said, his voice low and guarded. You shifted closer, resting your head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath your ear. "Why?" You pressed gently. He hesitated, his fingers idly playing with your hair. "Because I didn’t want to be their perfect little son. I wanted to live my own life, make my own mistakes. I don’t care about their fucking board, I’m a tennis player." 
"Yes, you are." You murmured, fingers playfully tangling in his chest hair. It had been so long since you'd seen him play a real match, but you knew he was a gifted kid. "I remember how everyone raved about your talent when we were kids. Your parents always said you were going to be the biggest tennis star." He glanced away, nervously nibbling his lower lip. "Well, they don’t really think so anymore." His voice was tinged with hurt, a vulnerability he rarely showed. "And it wasn’t the only thing." He added, his tone darker. "It wasn’t?" You asked, curiosity piqued. What else could have happened? Did he get a girl pregnant or something? "They didn’t really accept me coming out." He revealed quietly. "Coming out? Wait, you’re into boys?" You sat up, shocked by his revelation. He nodded, his nervousness palpable, as if he feared your reaction. "Don’t you want to be our third?" You joked, trying to lighten the mood with a giggle. "I’m not fucking the disgusting geriatric asshole you’re married to." He whined, pinching your waist. You grabbed his hand, stopping him from pinching you further. "He’s a handsome man!" You tried to defend your husband, though Patrick’s grossed out face made it clear he wasn’t convinced by your words. "He’s like a hundred years old!" Patrick exclaimed, typical in his exaggeration. "He’s 49!" You responded. "And you’re 27. He’s a fucking creep." Patrick said, his face twisted in disgust.
You frowned at his words. You had never thought of it that way. Sure, he was older, and you had met him when you were young, but it wasn’t as if he had preyed on you. Your father had introduced you to one of his business partners, and you had simply fallen in love. Right?
"If you’re into boys…" You began, tracing delicate patterns on his chest. "Can I fuck you then?" You asked with a teasing smirk. You were usually the submissive type, you loved it, but a part of you had always been curious about what it would feel like to top someone. You imagined yourself putting on a strap and taking control of someone’s body, and not just anyone, but Patrick’s. You fantasized about how he would look, all hot and flustered, under you, his face flushed and his body trembling with anticipation. The thought of seeing him all vulnerable and overwhelmed by your plastic cock deep inside him made your heart beat faster. "Do you think I’m just going to let anyone have my ass? Do you think I’m a whore or something?" He shot back, abruptly shutting down any fantasies you had. His refusal stung. Anyone? You weren’t just anyone.
As days passed, Patrick’s words replayed in your mind like a broken record. The more you thought about it, the more it felt off. The age gap that seemed romantic and reassuring once now felt predatory. You were 21 when you married your husband, but he was well into his 40s. He had courted you when you had barely graduated, still fresh from the confines of your parents’ home. You didn’t have much experience with love or even boys so you felt flattered. He became your first boyfriend. Apart from your first kiss, which had been stolen by some random guy at the country club, he had been your first everything. He, on the other hand, had been married before and had dated numerous women. What was in it for him to date you? Your innocence? Now, the fact that he had waited for you to turn the specific age of 21 before marrying you, despite the fact that you had been living together for a while, seemed calculated and unsettling.
It was as if you were looking at your husband through a different lens, a perspective vastly different from the adoration you once held for him. You didn’t think so highly of him anymore. All the red flags you had so mindlessly ignored before were now glaringly obvious. 
Was the fact that you were growing older the reason he was now so distant lately? You had noticed the subtle changes over the years, from the way he looked at your body to the way he touched you. At first, he just couldn’t keep his hands away from you and now he simply petted you, like a dog. You had always thought that it was how couples evolved with time : passion at first and then comfort. But the gossips at the country club painted a different picture. The women there often complained about feigning migraines to escape their marital obligations. Your situation was the opposite, the man who had been so eager to introduce you to sex now seemed to avoid it altogether. This didn't feel like a natural progression. And you were sure of it when you thought about Patrick and how you could hardly imagine growing tired of making him come.
So why wasn’t he attracted to you anymore? Your body had not changed that drastically. Was he receiving attention from other women? Younger women? You needed to know for sure.
As soon as he left to take a shower, you seized his phone and began scrolling through his messages. You didn’t recognize yourself, the normal you would never had invaded his privacy. You had been raised to believe that a wife should stay in her place and respect her husband’s boundaries, but at that point, you didn’t give a fuck. It didn’t take much searching to discover an interesting conversation with another woman. They were exchanging flirtatious texts and pictures. As you read through the messages, you realized it wasn't just flirting, there were feelings involved. Your husband was feeding her sweet words, just as he had once done with you in the past. The proof was there : he was cheating on you. And even worse, he was in a relationship with her.
Who had been the first one to stray? Did it even matter? Yes, for your own guilt. You needed to erase the doubt that you had betrayed him first. You scrolled back to your birthday, that fateful day that had changed everything. There, you found him telling her he would be home soon. So your husband had indeed been with another woman while you were alone and crying. The guilt that had been eating you was gone. He had only gotten what he deserved. But now, you were consumed by anger and disgust.
You stared at the picture of the woman who had now taken your place. She looked young, way too young. Her skin was smooth, her cheeks full and her eyes bright with the innocence of youth. She could be your little sister. She could be his daughter. The realization hit you like a punch to the gut. A wave of hatred for her took over you, but beneath it was an unexpected urge to protect her. How could you see how wrong it was so clearly when it involved someone else, yet remain blind when it came to yourself?
The woman in the photo seemed fragile, her smile unaware of the storm she was caught in. You could imagine her excitement, the thrill of attention from an older, experienced man. It was a cruel irony that the very things that had once drawn you to him were now being used to entrap someone else. You thought of your younger self, so eager to please, so willing to overlook the small red flags. You wondered if she knew about you. She had to. She had to wonder why your husband was leaving her every night. What did he tell her about you? Was he telling her you were the problem?
Patrick had been right all along, your husband was a creep.
Your chest felt tight, as if an invisible weight was pressing down, making it hard to breathe. Your heart pounded erratically, its rapid thumping loud in your ears, drowning out all other sounds. Your vision blurred with unshed tears, and your hands started to tremble uncontrollably. The room spun, making it hard to focus on anything. You clutched your chest, trying to steady the dizzy feeling inside. A cold sweat broke out across your skin, chilling you despite the warmth of the room. With shaky hands, you grabbed your phone and dialed Patrick's number. You needed to get out of the house, whether your husband noticed your absence or not. "Baby, can you pick me up, please?"
After fifteen minutes, he texted that he was at the corner of the street. You walked to his car, the short distance feeling like an eternity. You tried to dry your tears before meeting him, not wanting to spoil the mood with your problems, but your red, puffy eyes betrayed you. Spotting the car, you quickly opened the door and stepped in, planting a soft kiss on his lips. "So, what did he do?" He asked against your lips. He knew you way too well. His question caused your lips to tremble, and tears to well up in your eyes. As he drove off to his place, you told him the whole story between sobs. He rolled his eyes as if it were expected news, sighing at each new detail. "What does it change? You were almost sure of it already." He glanced at you. Unable to answer, you also wondered why it hurt so much. Maybe the fact that he had a second home. Fucking another girl was one thing, creating a home with her was another. "Let me tell you, if you weren't such a fucking coward, you'd leave his ass." You stared at him, your eyes widening with disbelief. He had never talked to you that way. His words were as harsh and sharp as a knife. You opened your mouth to respond, but he cut you off. "But I know you. You're so greedy, you would never give up your designer bags, your nice clothes, and your big fucking house." Speechless, you wondered if he truly thought so lowly of you. Did he believe you had married your husband solely for the money? Yes, living comfortably was pleasant, but you had fallen in love with that man. He was your family. "Are you always going to call me when you're fucking miserable and expect me to just watch you ruin your life and fuck you?" His words hit you like a slap. You gasped, too stunned to immediately respond. "You're a piece of shit, Patrick." You mumbled between clenched teeth, barely able to contain your anger. He stopped at a red light and turned to you, his face inches from yours. "I may be shit, but you like to roll in it, you cunt." He spat out. Before he could say more, you slapped him across the face, desperate to silence him. Words like that had only ever been thrilling when said in passionate moments, when they didn’t cut to the bone but made you wet and beg for more. Now, they shattered your heart into a million pieces. Without a word, you opened the door and stepped out of the vehicle. You couldn’t bear to stay near him. You believed that Patrick would always be there to comfort you, but now you saw the truth. He was just as hurtful, if not more, than your husband. In that moment, you realized how truly alone you were in your misery.
"Get in the damn car!" He shouted through the open window, his voice slicing through the night as he drove slowly alongside you on the sidewalk. "No!" You shot back, your teeth sinking into your lower lip until you tasted blood. The urge to cry was almost overwhelming, but you couldn't allow yourself to break down. Not in front of Patrick fucking Zweig. Not in front of that fucking loser. Maybe you were a gold digger, but at least you weren't a broke motherfucker with shattered dreams and no future. You wanted to throw that in his face, to lash out with the truth, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. You couldn't hurt him. Even though he hurt you. Deep down you knew from the start that it was meant to happen, that he would inevitably disappoint you. He always did. He let everyone down, yet you clung to the hope that things might have been different with you. You didn't want to believe otherwise but here you were. "It's dangerous." Oh, so he cared about you now? Sure, it was nighttime, but the streets were empty. You felt safer outside than in that car or even in your own house. "Go fuck yourself." You finally yelled back. He sighed, pulling over and parking the car right in front of you, forcing you to stop. You crossed your arms without a word, determined to wait him out. Let him get bored of the silence and leave you alone. He opened the passenger door, waiting for you to climb in. You had no intention of doing so. After a few minutes, Patrick stepped out of the car and stood in front of you. "Babe, I'm sorry..."
He pulled you into an embrace, and you remained still, unwilling to give in until you felt his lips brush against your neck. "I shouldn't have said that." He mumbled against your jaw. Despite yourself, you smiled at the warmth of his lips on your skin. Something must be wrong with you. He had insulted you moments ago, wounding you in ways he never had before, yet here you were, back in his arms, ready to follow him like a lovesick puppy and forget every hurtful word. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tilting your head to give him room to explore your neck. His hands found their way to your butt, gently squeezing. You were in public, being intimate with another man besides your husband. Anyone driving by could see you cheating, but it didn’t matter. You pressed your body as close to his as possible, merging with him. You felt his hard length pressing against your lower abdomen. "Wait, are you hard?" You asked, your voice rising in surprise. "You were so hot being all mad and stuff." He revealed, his lips inching closer to yours. "I slap you and you get hard? You’re really deranged." You whispered against his lips, amused. You felt his tongue trying to breach the barrier of your lips. Did he really think it would be that easy? True, you were already melting under his touch, but he couldn’t just keep getting away with everything. He couldn’t treat you like shit and expect you to let him take you right here on the sidewalk. "I just can't go on watching you waste your life with him. You deserve better." He murmured between soft pecks on your lips. His words made your heart skip a beat, it was the closest he would get to saying how much he cared about you. And was the 'better' you deserved, him? After all, he wasn't running away from you to protect you, he was trying to get into your pants, which surely meant he thought himself worthy of you. With Patrick, it was always what he didn't say that left you hoping. As your tongue found its way to his lips, you were now the one devouring his mouth. Okay, he was forgiven. You would totally let him fuck you right there on the sidewalk.
You let your hands roam down his back, finding their way to his ass, groping it in a similar way he was grabbing yours. You pulled away from the kiss and looked into his eyes, noticing his smirk. Did he think he had won? "If you're really sorry, let me fuck you." You blurted out, your fingers sneaking between his cheeks, the fabric of his shorts the only obstacle. "What?" He asked, eyes squinting in confusion. "Let me fuck you." You repeated, pinching your lips together to hide your grin. "No way." He chuckled, probably thinking you were joking. But you were as serious as a heart attack. "I want to own you like you own me." You wanted Patrick to commit to your relationship as much as you had. You had let him take control of your body, marking his territory on every part of you. Well, almost every part. "You won’t let me fuck your ass and you think I’ll let you fuck mine?" He questioned, and you sighed in response. In reality, if Patrick had really wanted to, he could have had his way with you a long time ago. But so far, he had always stopped at the slightest hint of resistance from you, which in theory was a good thing. Still, you wanted him to beg for it. Which he didn’t. But now that you had made your objective clear, perhaps you would let him have his way with you, just to get your way with him later on.
Your phone kept buzzing in your pocket. Reluctantly, you pulled away from his embrace and fished it out of your pants. Your husband’s name flashed on the screen. You sighed, seeing that he had already tried to call you seven times. Patrick's eyes fixed on the screen, his face twisted in a grimace. "Drive me back home then." You commanded, disentangling yourself from him. You stepped into the car, settling into the passenger seat. Patrick quickly joined you, taking his place behind the wheel. "Are you still mad at me?" He asked, nervously chewing the inside of his cheek as he drove back to your place. "Maybe." You replied. The anger was actually long gone, you had forgiven him the moment his lips touched your skin. But you weren't against letting him stew in a bit of guilt, even if it meant sacrificing your own pleasure for the night.
After a few minutes of Patrick's attempts to win your complete forgiveness by being extra affectionate, stroking your thigh and smiling sweetly, you found yourself back on your street. You had tried your hardest not to show any sign of giving in, but his puppy eyes made it difficult not to jump his bones. "I'm home alone this weekend." You announced, placing your hand on top of his. "Wanna come over?" You proposed, a smile spreading across your face. You didn't care anymore about respecting your husband’s space. If he didn’t respect you, there was no way you were going to respect him either. "Really? Your house?" He asked, surprised that you were now inviting him into the one place that had always been off-limits to him. You nodded eagerly, your eyes burning with a desire for revenge.
After an intense make-out session interrupted by a couple of whispered apologies, Patrick finally let you go despite the raging boner in his pants. As you walked back into your house, you found your husband waiting at the door, his hands resting on his hips. He looked worried sick. What was with the men in your life acting out of character tonight? When he saw you, his expression shifted from relief to anger. "Where the hell have you been?" He demanded, his voice thundering through the hallway. The tone made you jump. Your husband could be scary sometimes, and tonight was one of those times. You calmly explained that you had to help one of your girlfriends with an emergency. He took a step closer, his gaze piercing. "And you couldn't call?" You shrugged, feeling the weight of his glare. "I-..I didn't have the time." He opened his mouth to ask more questions, but you cut him off with a half-hearted apology. "I'm sorry, lovey, okay? I'm exhausted. I just need to go to bed." You rushed up the stairs, your heart pounding, eager to escape the questions you couldn’t answer.
"Seriously, where the hell have you been?" His voice erupted from behind you as you stood at the vanity, removing the last traces of makeup from your face. You caught his reflection in the mirror, and the anger in his eyes was unmistakable. His expression was taut with frustration, and it was clear he was nowhere near ready to let this go. He had displayed jealousy in the early years of your marriage, but it had been so long that you had almost forgotten the depths of his paranoia. "With a friend." You repeated, sticking to your fabricated story. "Call her. I want to speak with her." He demanded, his voice icy and insistent. His insistence took you by surprise, and for a moment, you wondered if he doubted your faithfulness. Did he also find out about your little affair? "You’re being ridiculous." You said with a chuckle, trying to diffuse the tension. "Call her." He said again, his teeth clenched with frustration. "I don’t want my friends to see my husband acting irrationally. What will they think?" You replied, hoping to use his reputation as leverage. You knew that using his concern for how others perceived him was likely your best chance. It always seemed to come down to how others viewed him. "They will think you have a caring husband. Call her." He insisted, stepping closer until his presence loomed over you. You clutched your phone tightly, keeping it away from his reach. Turning to face him, you felt so small in front of him. "Okay, but what if we call your friend first?" You suggested, trying to sound as confident as possible. However, your voice faltered as you stressed the word ‘friend’. You locked eyes with him, the silence settling between you. The moment his gaze shifted away from yours, you knew he understood. He sighed heavily and turned his back on you, his frustration palpable. "Whatever. Who’s the irrational one now?" He muttered, his tone dripping with resentment as he walked away.
Later that night, you felt his untoned body pressed against your back. The sensation sent shivers across your skin, not from excitement as it did with Patrick, but from dread. He had remained silent until then, and now he was whispering in your ear how much he craved you, his fingers toying with the waistband of your pajama shorts. He had waited for the lights to go out before slipping into bed, placing his nasty eager hands all over you. "Not tonight..." You whispered, placing your hand over his in an attempt to stop him. Ignoring your plea, he slid your shorts down your ankles. You felt the tip of his length against your entrance, and he penetrated you, pulling your hips back with a sudden, unwelcome force. He took you without any warning, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, repeatedly reminding you how much he loved you and how you were the only one for him. Tears welled in your eyes as you forced yourself to fulfill your duty as a wife. You pushed your ass back against him, desperate to make him finish quickly and bring an end to this. When it was over, the urge to throw up overwhelmed you.
Patrick had followed your instructions not to ring the doorbell and trigger the recording of the camera, so he texted you upon his arrival. You opened the door and quickly pulled him inside, gripping his shirt. "Where did you park your car?" You asked, your arms wrapping around his neck as you kissed him hungrily. "Down the street." He replied between breaths. After a few minutes of showing him how glad you were that he was here, you offered to give him a tour. "Damn, he’s making big money." Patrick exclaimed as you led him through yet another room. The Zweigs’ home seemed modest in comparison to yours, and yet, when you were growing up, they owned the largest house you had ever seen. Patrick paused in the corridor, his gaze fixed on the large wedding portrait hanging on the wall. In the photo, your husband stood behind you as you sat in front of him, your voluminous, puffy dress filling the frame. "How cute." Patrick said with a smirk. "You took a father-daughter picture on your wedding day." You playfully slapped his arm. You knew he only wanted to tease you but there was some truth to his words. The age difference, so obvious in that image, had only become clear to you now, thanks to Patrick’s perspective. You locked eyes with your younger self in the photograph, remembering how innocent and full of life she once was. She was so happy and in love. You missed her. 
"You know your parents were actually there that day." You said, recalling how your parents had insisted on inviting the Zweigs out of old friendship, despite the distance that had grown between you and them over the years. You were genuinely glad to see them, and they had been remarkably generous with their wedding gift. You were fairly certain Patrick had been invited as well, but he never showed up. "They would probably be very disappointed in you for letting yourself be corrupted by their failure of a son." He murmured, his gaze still fixed intently on the picture. "Or very pleased." You countered. Patrick glanced at you, puzzled. "You can’t imagine how hard our moms tried to set us up." Patrick snorted at the comment, disbelief evident in his eyes. "No way!" You nodded insistently. "Don’t you remember how they always forced us to hang out?" A smile played on your lips. Did he really think you were willingly following him around everywhere back then? "I was a kid, and my mom tried to convince me you’d make a good husband!" The memory of your mother’s persistent hints came flooding back. "Really? You didn’t notice anything?" You asked, astonished. He shrugged, genuinely confused. "Damn, you really never consider me as a woman!" You blurted out, chuckling. It stung a bit that Patrick had never even glanced your way despite your mothers’ scheming, but it was all in the past. You knew the effect you had on him now. "I was too focused on tennis!" He tried to explain. "Liar!" You teased. "You always had a new girlfriend. Like that girl…" You began, your voice trailing off as you tried to recall the name of the first one who had lingered long enough to be introduced to his parents. You recalled meeting her too, and thinking she was the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen. Back then, you couldn’t understand why she’d settled for someone like Patrick.  But that was before you knew how much of a good fuck he was. Now it made sense. "Ah, yes, Tashi Duncan!" At the mention of her name, his smile faded, and the mood in the room changed. There was history there. Sensing the need to divert the conversation, you quickly continued. "But it’s alright. I can deal with the fact that I didn’t make you hard when you were a teenager." You shrugged nonchalantly. "I can make you hard quite alright now." With a playful tug on the waistband of his pants, you drew him closer and pressed your lips firmly against his.
Patrick had one mission that day : to claim every room in your house as his own by fucking you there. It began in the living room with a quickie on the couch. "Did he fuck you there?" He asked then, gesturing toward the kitchen counter. You nodded, though the truth was that your husband had never touched you in that space. The house was new, and your sex life had long since declined. Yet, Patrick seemed intent on marking his territory in your husband's home. He took you on the kitchen counter, and later, on the desk in your husband's office. By the time you reached the bedroom, you were already sore and overstimulated. "Now you’ll think about me every time you’re fucking him in this bed." Patrick babbled as he bounced you on top of him. You clawed at his chest, whimpering in pain as your pussy burned from the relentless penetration. Despite the discomfort, you couldn’t stop. If you could erase every memory of your husband in that bed and only keep thoughts of Patrick, you would take it gladly.
"I’m sure this is the first time you’ve come in that bed." He mumbled as you got off him and laid beside him, panting heavily from your orgasm. You chuckled, finding his bitterness amusing. "Don’t be ridiculous." You teased, calling him out. "I’ve masturbated there before." You burst into laughter, and his chuckle soon joined yours.
Though it was still early, you felt utterly drained. All you wished for was to close your eyes and wake up a week later. It was the first time you were sharing a bed with Patrick solely for the purpose of sleeping, rather than for sex. Even though he had fucked you in your marital bed, you had moved to the guest room for the night. You nestled close to him, your face pressed against his neck, fully immersed in his comforting scent. With your eyes closed, you drifted into sleep almost immediately and so did he.
Waking up next to Patrick felt even better than falling asleep beside him. As he pulled you closer, his eyes still closed, your heart pounded out of your chest. Was this what it felt like to be Patrick’s girlfriend? You enjoyed the domesticity of the moment, the simplicity and comfort of sharing a bed. The fact that, even half asleep, he sought your presence warmed your heart deeply. Feeling his morning wood pressing against the back of your thigh only added to your delight. It was these small, tender moments that made you crave more than just a fling, that made you yearn for a life that was intertwined with his in every way.
After a few moments of cuddling in bed, you slipped out quietly to give Patrick time to wake up properly. Embracing the role of his wife for the day, you busied yourself in the kitchen, preparing a healthy breakfast with the best ingredients from your fridge. You arranged a plate with fruits, eggs, and bacon, ensuring it offered everything his body needed. When he finally emerged from the bedroom, you served him the meal and then headed to the shower. Of course, it wasn't long before Patrick joined you. "Already done?" You asked, surprised that he had finished his plate so quickly. He nodded and wrapped his arms around you, his embrace growing warm under the stream of hot water. "Can I have my breakfast now?" You asked with a playful smirk, lowering yourself to your knees. Holding his length close to your lips, you glanced up to ensure he was watching as you took him fully into your mouth.
You were barely dressed when he began demanding more. He pinned you against the living room window, the curtains barely hiding the view of you with a man who wasn’t your husband. He yanked your panties down to your ankles and lifted your skirt as he penetrated you. "Now anyone who walks by can see that you’re a whore." He murmured, his voice low, filled with possessiveness. Your face was pressed against the glass, giving you a full view of your neighbor’s front yard. Anyone passing by could, indeed, see you if they looked up, but you didn’t care. In fact, part of you wanted them to see who you truly belonged to.
As the months went by, Patrick became your priority. You weren’t buying so many designer bags anymore, instead, you found yourself financing Patrick's career. He had no remorse about taking your husband's money, and you were more than willing to provide. You wanted him to have the best tennis equipment, the nicest furniture, and the softest bed sheets. You hoped that every time he used his racket or laid in bed, he would think of you, knowing that every element of his life had your touch.
There was something in you that made you want to take care of Patrick like he was an innocent baby lamb. You just wanted to make this boy’s life easier, ease all the pain he had to go through in his life. Once, you even suggested selling some pieces from your collection to help him secure a decent place to stay. That was where he drew the line, refusing to let your loss be his gain.
"Thanks for the bag!" He exclaimed, the strap of the brand new tennis backpack hanging off his shoulder. He stood in front of the mirror in his underwear, admiring the bag from every angle. You gazed lovingly at him while lying on his bed on your stomach, chin resting on your hands. Patrick had always been good-looking, but lately, he seemed even more handsome. Perhaps it was the feelings you had developed, making you see him in a new light. Just the sight of his biceps made you a little weak. You had always thought you weren't the type to swoon over athletes and their muscles, but you had been wrong. Patrick’s body was a masterpiece. You could never get tired of looking at him. Your eyes traced the lines of his chiseled jawline, lingering on the reddish hairs covering his chin. From there, your gaze moved to his broad shoulders, strong and imposing, a testament to the years he had spent perfecting his serve. You drifted over his strong, veiny arms that always held you so effortlessly, and settled his small, pink nipples stood out against the firmness of his chest. Your stare lingered on his sculpted stomach, captivated by the defined muscles, before following the strip of dark hair that trailed down his lower abdomen. "You're welcome, baby." You mumbled, eyes fixed on the curve of his ass. You had to bite your lip to stifle a moan as you drifted to the hem of his boxers and his fuzzy thighs. It was impossible to look away when Patrick was in a room. For a second, you wondered if his fans were as captivated as you when they watched him on a tennis court.
"I want to see you play someday." You said with a sigh of frustration, watching him model the new bag. It was a line you had always been careful not to cross. You already occupied most of his free time, intruding on his professional life felt like overstepping. You weren’t his devoted girlfriend or his tennis wife, just the woman he fucked from time to time. He turned to face you, setting the bag down on the floor. "Then come watch the tournament next Friday?" He suggested, a proud smile spreading across his face. The tournament? You recalled him mentioning he was training for a state-level challenger, one that could be a pivotal moment in his career. It might be the very thing that lifted him out of the slump he’d been in. "Wait, you qualified?" You asked, your voice rising with excitement. He nodded enthusiastically. "Why didn’t you tell me?" You exclaimed, leaping into his arms and wrapping your limbs around him. He lifted you effortlessly, his hands gripping your thighs firmly as you showered his face with kisses.
Friday couldn’t come fast enough. You were thrilled to finally watch Patrick play after all these years. Back in your teenage days, you usually avoided his matches, uninterested in tennis and reluctant to spend hours watching boys hit a ball. But now, you were so eager that you arrived an hour early. Sitting in the bleachers, you hid behind a hat and sunglasses, hoping to avoid running into anyone you knew. Tennis was quite popular in your community, so you wouldn't be surprised if someone from the country club showed up and saw you getting all cozy with a tennis player.
A few minutes after you sent Patrick one final good luck text, he stepped onto the court. He scanned the audience with a focused gaze, as if searching for something, or someone. Was he looking for you? Did he anticipate your presence as much as you had longed to be there? You hesitated for a moment before raising your hand and giving a small wave, not wanting to embarrass yourself if he happened to acknowledge someone else. When his eyes finally found you, his face lit up with a grin that left you breathless, and he nodded in your direction.
The match began with each player standing on their side of the net. Patrick wasn’t the server for this set. When his opponent served the first ball, it flew across the court and met Patrick’s racket. A succession of strokes followed, the sound of sneakers grating on the cement echoing with every quick move as the ball zipped back and forth. Patrick scored the first point by powerfully slamming the ball over the net, where it hit the ground. His opponent was skilled, but Patrick played with a level of determination you had never witnessed before. If he had been bringing as little as half the same energy in bed when fucking you, you were certain you’d be dead by now. When his opponent scored the first point, Patrick’s confident expression slipped, replaced by a grimace. Despite this, he didn’t allow the other player to score again, ultimately winning the first set by five points. 
As the match went on, you found yourself on the edge of your seat, your heart racing with the set’s rhythm. For a moment, your attention drifted from the ball to Patrick’s muscular arms, glistening with a thin layer of sweat. From the way his arm flexed with every motion, veins on his forearms bulging, to the way his fingers gripped the racket tightly, reminding you of how he fisted his cock to milk himself all over your face. You couldn’t help but be turned on by the sight of him, everything reminded you of him fucking you. Realizing another point was added to the score during your daydream, you tried to shake off the inappropriate thoughts and focus on the match. After a few minutes, your eyes wandered to his ridiculously short shorts, barely concealing how big he was underneath. His bulge bounced with each leap and sprint, and you craved to have it, hot and salty, in your mouth. Damn. Fuck the game, you couldn’t keep your eyes off him. There was something about the way his shirt clung to his torso, drenched with sweat, accentuating the contours of his sculpted stomach that made you almost bark like a dog. And you didn’t even want to mention the way his thick, fuzzy thighs jiggled with every step, making you salivate, or how his firm ass filled out those shorts so perfectly.
You felt a stir of guilt, feeling like a perv, as you watched him play. What had begun as a desire to connect with him, to know more about his passion, had turned into a fixation that overshadowed the game itself. You sighed deeply, crossing your legs to prevent the dampness in your underwear from showing. You shifted your gaze to his opponent, realizing that watching that ugly loser was probably the best way to regain your focus and follow the match.
As the final ball of the second set landed on the opposite side of the court, you clapped with excitement a broad smile spreading across your face. That’s when you noticed two girls in the audience, cheering louder than anyone else, screaming his name at the top of their lungs. You couldn’t help but glare at them. They were young and cute, with tiny skirts showing just enough thighs, their hairs flowing in the wind, their firm asses and perky tits. It was obvious that Patrick was an attractive man, but it had never truly hit you that he could have anyone he wanted. Maybe he even already had them. And just like that, with one wild thought, another competition started on the court. You needed to outscream them. You were going to yell his name louder than anyone had before. You no longer cared if someone recognized you, you just wanted to make those little bitches shut the fuck up.
When the last point of the third set was won, the crowd erupted in applause. Patrick stood victorious, his face glistening with sweat, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. Pride radiated from his expression. He looked up at you once more, and this time, you didn't shy away. You stood and cheered as loud as possible, your heart swelling with adoration. You had seen a new side of him, and you didn't think it was possible to fall even harder for him.
In just two hours, you felt transformed, a whole new woman, as if you had undergone a grueling religious experience. Watching Patrick being so passionate on the court almost made you resent his racket and ball. You yearned for him to feel that way about you, to be his priority, the one thing that consumed his thoughts. You wanted him to love you.
After the match, you were determined not to give his two fans the chance to monopolize his attention, so you waited for him, despite knowing your husband was probably waiting for you at home. Truth be told, you didn't even want to let them congratulate him. You watched as every single member of the audience left the court, your eyes narrowing on the two girls who skipped down the bleachers to join Patrick as he put his racket away in his bag. "Fucking cunts." You muttered under your breath, fuming as they interacted with your man. Patrick was all smiles, engaged in an animated conversation with them. Was he trying to piss you off on purpose? You sighed and leaned back in your seat, arms crossed, glaring at them with such hate that it felt like you were burning holes into the backs of their heads.
When the court was finally empty, you made your way to his car and waited for him there. When he arrived, his new tennis bag slung over his shoulder, you were leaning against his car. "You’re alone? You didn’t bring one of your fangirls?" You asked, unable to hide the jealousy in your voice. "I knew I already had one waiting for me." He replied smoothly, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips as he opened the trunk and began placing his tennis equipment inside.
Once his arms were free, he pulled you into a tight hug, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. You wore the perfume he loved on purpose, knowing it drove him wild. His hair, still damp from the shower, left a wet spot on your shirt, but you didn't care. He gently slid your sunglasses off, his eyes locking onto yours for a moment before he leaned in for a deep, passionate kiss. You wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him as close as you could, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. The kiss was intense, his tongue eagerly exploring your mouth. After a few moments, you tried to break away to congratulate him, but he was having none of it. Eventually, you managed to pull back, your lips tingling. "Congrats!" You said, breathless, placing a soft peck on his lips. "You were so hot." Your hands slid down to his butt, squeezing it firmly. Patrick let out a deep throaty sound, and began peppering your face with kisses, his arousal evident from the hardness against your stomach.
"So hot that I want to fuck you..." Standing on your tiptoes, you whispered into his ear, your fingers sliding provocatively between his asscheeks. You pressed your index finger against the fabric covering his asshole. "Nuh uh." He shook his head firmly. "You don’t know what you’re doing." It was true, you didn’t know anything about pleasuring a man this way, but you were willing to learn. You could watch instructional videos, order the best lube, and even get the perfect strap. You just wanted to claim him completely. "Then show me how to do it." You said, your voice filled with determination. "Really, should I show you how?" He raised his eyebrows, a smirk dancing on his lips. You nodded eagerly, ready to absorb everything he had to teach. He quickly slid your sunglasses into his pocket and placed his hands on your ass, mirroring your earlier action. He rubbed your crack through your pants with the side of his hand. "You know that’s not what I meant." You kissed his lips as he slid his hands back over your cheeks with a sigh. This had become a game for you, seeing how long you could tease and deny him until he finally took charge. But that idiot didn’t seem to catch on. He just gave up as soon as you said no.
"I really thought you were going home with those two girls." You confessed, a pout forming on your lips as you looked up at him. "What two girls?" He asked, genuinely puzzled. "The cute ones, the girl in white with her hair braided and the other one in pink-" You began to explain before he cut you off. "My cousins?" He exclaimed, his eyes widening in realization. His cousins? Now that you thought about it, they did look familiar but the last time you had seen them they were kids. So, you had been unfairly resenting two innocent girls for hours? "Gross!" He added with a look of disgust. "Get in the car before you start accusing me of banging my dad." You burst out laughing as he opened the passenger door for you. "Wouldn’t blame you, your dad’s kinda cute." You admitted with a playful grin as you jumped into the car. Patrick resembled Mr. Zweig quite a bit, same hair, same freckles, same nose. He was undeniably a handsome man, but you much preferred the son. Patrick slid into the driver’s seat, his brow furrowing at your comment. "Of course, you love fossils." He retorted. You playfully slapped his arm as he started the car and drove away. You glanced at the clock. It was late, too late to head back to his place. Surely, you would find a spot to park for a few minutes on the way back, just enough time for you to blow Patrick before you had to return home to far less enjoyable obligations.
You hadn't shared the news with Patrick yet, but after weighing up the pros and cons, you were now certain you wanted to leave your husband. The decision had come after another sleepless night, lying beside a man you no longer felt connected to, your mind wandering to thoughts of Patrick's face, his touch, the way he made you feel alive. You were now certain that whatever you had with your husband, it wasn’t love. Perhaps it had never been. Patrick was the one who occupied your every thought now. Months had passed before you came to understand that there was no point in staying married when every trait you once admired in your husband now repelled you. The comfort he offered no longer outweighed the ache you felt inside. You weren’t afraid of disappointing your family with the decision to end things anymore, nor were you scared by the prospect of being single. You had Patrick, and though you were certain he would never claim you as his girlfriend, you believed you could remain in his life after the divorce, as long as you allowed him his freedom. He would continue to be with others, and you would maintain the pretense that it didn’t fucking kill you. The only change would be the absence of guilt, the relief from constant deception and self-loathing. You envisioned a life where Patrick's presence, however brief and elusive, would be enough to make you the happiest of women. The thought of living without the shadows of betrayal hanging over you felt liberating.
Now, all that remained was to find a place of your own and save up enough money. You had begun parting with some of your treasured bags, a significant step for you.  With no personal bank account, you had to open one just to deposit the funds. Though the account was gradually filling, it still fell short of what you needed to live independently. Mentally, you were at your breaking point, the idea of staying in your marriage any longer was unbearable. You needed the divorce to happen now. Though you were certain Patrick would offer you a place to stay for a few days, you couldn’t bear the thought of overstaying your welcome. The only option left was to hope that your husband would allow you to remain in the house until you found a place of your own.
The only thing left was to break the news. You wanted to wait for a moment that felt right to announce a divorce, if such a moment did exist. You were clueless, having never imagined yourself as one of those divorcees. When you first married, you were convinced it would be forever, yet here you were, anxiously flipping bacon in a pan, rehearsing the impending conversation in your head. You decided that telling him in the morning, before he left for work, would give him a few hours to process the news and offer you some space away from any potential outburst. Though your husband was not a violent man, you knew he would react with anger and accusations, blaming you for ruining his life, like his previous wife did. Telling him in the morning would not only give him time to come to terms with the situation but also allow you to use the day to pack your bags.
You placed a plate of eggs and bacon before him, its presentation less neat than usual, and settled into the chair across from him as he began to eat. "I’m not happy…" You said, your eyes focused on your hands, nervously picking at your cuticles to avoid meeting his gaze. He paused, setting his fork and knife down with a resigned sigh. "I can tell." He replied, his voice carrying a hint of resignation. Gathering your courage, you took a deep breath, ready to deliver the news in one swift motion. "I want-..." You were startled by the sudden sound of his deep voice. "I know what you want…" Did he? Was he about to make things easier for you? Had he noticed the growing distance between you two? Your mind raced as he continued, "I’ve thought about it, and I think I’m ready for us to have a baby." The words hit you like a punch to the gut. A baby? Was he serious? After all those years of rejecting the idea, he chose this moment, as you were on the brink of leaving, to bring it up? 
You stared at him in stunned silence, the weight of his words sinking in. The only sounds that penetrated the stillness were the hum of the refrigerator and the rapid beating of your heart. He knew that this was the one thing you had always yearned for, a dream you had long since abandoned, believing it would never come true. You had grieved motherhood when you married a man who had no interest in having children, and you had buried the hope even deeper when you planned to leave him for another man who was equally unwilling to grant you that wish. But now, here was an opportunity, one you could not bring yourself to refuse. The meticulously crafted plans for escape now seemed like a distant, fading dream. Finally, you managed to talk. "Let’s do it." The words slipped out before you could fully comprehend their meaning. The prospect of a baby had momentarily overshadowed all other thoughts. His eyes brightened with a blend of relief and joy. The rest of breakfast passed in a blur of forced smiles and muted conversation. As you cleared the table, the reality of what you had just agreed to began to settle in. A baby meant Patrick had to go.
You needed to talk this through with Patrick. Despite not being his wife, you felt he deserved as much input into this decision as you did. A pregnancy would inevitably affect your relationship. You waited until your husband had left the house before calling an Uber to Patrick’s place. When Patrick opened the door, his eyes widened with concern at the sight of your distressed expression. "What’s wrong?" He asked, guiding you inside. You sank onto the couch with a sigh. "He wants a baby." You admitted. The room fell into a heavy silence. Patrick settled beside you, his gaze unwavering as you struggled to meet his eyes. "Do you want one?" He asked softly. You nodded, your desire unmistakable. It had been your dream for so long, and you couldn’t lie to him, even if it meant that dream might drive you apart. "Then I think you’d make a great mom." He said, pressing a tender kiss to your lips. Was it all? Did he not grasp what it meant? Did he not care that it meant you had to break things off with him?
Weeks passed, and you hadn't brought up the subject again with Patrick. You thought your husband might change his mind about having a baby, so there seemed no reason to discuss it further. However, he was more than serious. He had booked an appointment with the gynecologist and accompanied you to the clinic. He was even present when the doctor removed your IUD, explaining that fertility could return immediately after its removal. That very night, your husband insisted that you start trying. The whole ordeal had lasted a bit longer than ten minutes, most of which had been spent with you jerking him off. Before Patrick, you had always wondered if something was wrong with you because your husband had always preferred your hand over your cunt. But now you knew you weren’t bad at sex, so what was the issue? Was it the same for him as it was for you? Was he so in love with his mistress that it felt wrong fucking his own wife? When he had felt the orgasm nearing, he had spread your legs and penetrated you. After a few lazy thrusts, he had came, filling you up with his load. If baby making was anything like this, it was cold, unloving and unenjoyable. 
Not as pleasant as what was happening at the moment. Patrick was fondling your breasts as you cooked him dinner. His warm breath tickled your neck as he placed dozens of sweet kisses against your nape. You could feel his hard cock against your ass and feel yourself getting lost in the feeling of his fingers against your nipples. But you couldn’t just let him have his way, there were consequences to your actions now. "Pat, stop. I just got my IUD removed..." You explained as you flipped the omelet in the pan. He sighed and pulled his hands away from under your shirt, his face showing clear disappointment. "So, no more fucking?" He asked, a pout on his face. "Pull out?" You suggested. "Oh because that worked so well the first time." He said with a hint of sarcasm. You remembered the whole STD scare that had happened on the very first day together. After a pause, he offered. "I could fuck you in the ass." You shook your head without even glancing in his direction. Sure, you could do that once or twice, but more than that? Hell no. You needed to feel him stretch your pussy. "Condoms." You suggested, offering what seemed like the only initiative. "Or anal." He insisted, his tone unwavering. You turned to face him, your arms crossing tightly over your chest, your eyes narrowing in frustration. "So you plan on fucking me in the ass for the rest of my life?" You asked, your voice edged with disbelief. You had given alternatives, yet he was still adamant about ignoring your poor needy little cunt. His attitude shifted dramatically. The usual playful Patrick had vanished, replaced by someone way more resentful. "I wouldn’t have to if you hadn’t been a coward and left him when I told you to." He snapped. So it was all out of spite. You had never seen such anger in his eyes, and you couldn’t tell whether it came from you denying him the right to unload in your cunt or from the fact that your desire for a baby was getting more concrete. "So should I just leave him?" You asked, turning off the gas burner with a click. His response came sharply. "Duh, he’s a piece of shit." Patrick’s words offered no comfort. He was unaware of your earlier plans to divorce and how you had abandoned them at the mere mention of a child. He had no idea how deeply you longed to be a mother, or how lonely you had been until he came into your life. This had never been a topic of discussion between you. Despite what he seemed to believe, you hadn’t taken the easy way out. You remained married to a neglectful husband who neither loved you nor you loved, but you had chosen a life that provided what Patrick couldn’t : belongingness. He was unaware that even the slightest hint of a promise of being his girlfriend, or any other status, would have made you leave your husband right away. Sure, you longed for marriage and babies, but you were ready to give up on those dreams if Patrick promised to be by your side for the rest of his life.
"Do you think I have a choice, Patrick? What else can I do except be a wife?" His mouth opened as if to respond, but you cut him off, not giving him the chance to speak. "If I leave him, where do I go? I belong nowhere." The realization had only struck you during your plans to divorce him : your husband had made you so dependent on him while giving you the illusion of independence. You believed you were free to spend your days as you wished and buy whatever you wanted without justification. But in reality, you lived to please your husband, organizing your schedule around his own and the money you spent was his money : nothing was truly yours. Not even your free time. The only thing that was truly yours was your relationship with Patrick. "What should I do for a living? Sell my ass?" Your voice rose with the last question, an attempt to mask the cry threatening to escape. "Don’t be ridiculous." He responded, his tone soft trying to soothe you. "You’re going to take care of me then?" You asked, looking at him straight in the eyes. He remained silent. "And you know what? It’s not even about him anymore." The words spilled out. You were ready to leave your husband, but you weren’t ready to give up on the dream of a child now that it seemed almost within your grasp. "If I leave him, are you going to be the one giving me a baby? Or should I just fuck some random guy, hoping he gives me what I want?" All you wanted was to hear him say that you could leave your husband, he would provide for you, help you find a career and make you a mother, but he couldn’t promise you that, he didn’t want that. "I’m sorry." He whispered as he wrapped his arms tightly around you. While his arms offered comfort, they couldn’t soothe the pain within you caused from his lack of words.
Despite the argument, you had let Patrick get what he wanted. You were unable to say no to him. He now took you from behind on a regular basis. Despite your fear of pain, your first experience with anal sex had been unexpectedly very pleasurable. Patrick had been meticulous in his preparation, first using his tongue, then his fingers, and plenty of lube to ensure you were thoroughly ready. You appreciated the burn of stretching as he eased into your tightness. Still, you missed the deep, relentless pounding that had once bruised your cervix and left you dazed. Yet, you had come to realize that having anal sex with Patrick Zweig was better than not having sex at all. Although on some lucky nights, he would begin fucking your pussy like he always did and finish in your ass. Those were your favorite kinds of nights. Tonight was one of them.
You were bent over the couch, your hips raised in the air, while he stood behind you, thrusting into you with force. "I-I.. should just put a… baby in you." He groaned, his voice heavy with desire as the sound of his fat sack smacking against you filled the room. His words sent a shiver through you, leaving you breathless and trembling. Your legs began to shake, nearly giving out under the surge of pleasure. "Please, do it!" You pleaded, your eyes shutting tightly with ecstasy. His words sent a jolt of electricity straight to your clit. Patrick being your baby daddy? That was all you wanted now. "That’s all that asshole deserves... raising my bastard child..." He mumbled, fucking you like a maniac. His words weren’t the only things filled with resentment, you could feel how much he despised your husband in the way he pounded into you. For a fleeting second, you thought maybe you should piss him off more often. "Please, Patrick." You moaned, pushing your hips back against him, craving every thrust. "He doesn’t deserve to soil your body." Patrick growled through clenched teeth, his voice thick with anger. He grabbed a fistful of your hair, forcing you to tilt your head back as his teeth sank into your neck. He was usually careful not to leave marks, but this time, you felt his teeth dig a bit too hard into your skin. "I want your baby, Pat…" You begged, clenching hard around his length, your desperation palpable. "Don’t be stupid." He snapped, his tone harsh. "You would hate me for it." Hate him for it? If only he knew how many times you had imagined yourself carrying his child. Without warning, he switched holes, slamming himself into your ass. You let out a pained whine, your body tensing at the sudden intrusion. This time, he hadn't prepared you in the slightest, only using your juices as lube, and the sharp discomfort interrupted the orgasm that had been building up. You quickly reached between your legs, fingers finding your already throbbing clit as he forced himself into your ass. The mere thought of him breeding you reignited the tension, building the pressure toward another climax. "So tight... I can't even pull away." He whispered against your neck, his hand joining yours between your legs, guiding the rhythm of your touches. After minutes of relentless rutting, you both climaxed together, Patrick's release buried deeply within your guts.
The thought of all this cum going to waste filled you with a surge of frustration. Once he pulled out, you could only think if only you could push back hard enough to let it drip onto your cunt, maybe, with a bit of luck, you could become Patrick Zweig’s baby mama. Before you could even attempt it, however, Patrick’s tongue was already working its way to your asshole, eagerly lapping up every last drop of his semen.
"So, are you two really trying for a baby?" He asked, his voice tinged with curiosity as you both lay sprawled naked in bed. You nodded, a hint of determination in your eyes. "He’s actually fucking you?" He pressed, his tone incredulous. You nodded once more, feeling the weight of his questions. He grimaced, a look of disgust crossing his face. "Don’t you know how babies are made?" You joked lightly, reaching over to pinch his nipple playfully. "Does he make you come?" He asked suddenly, his gaze intense. You had never seen him so serious, gone was the casual tone of before. You shook your head. Of course, he did not. In comparison to the rush you felt with Patrick, having sex with your husband truly felt like a chore. It wasn’t unpleasant most of the time but nothing truly enjoyable. "I’m the only one who knows how your body really works." He said. You nodded eagerly in agreement. You couldn’t even make yourself come as hard as you did with him. 
He started by letting his mouth wander down your neck, his lips brushing softly against the curves of your chest. "My tits." He murmured, adding a playful bite to his kisses as he grazed your skin, each nip sending shivers down to your stomach. His lips traced a heated path across your body, leaving a lingering warmth. As his attention drifted lower, he took hold of your ass with a possessive yet gentle grip. "My ass." He declared, his hands exploring your curves with a blend of desire and affection. Then, he devoted his full attention to the most intimate part of you. "My tight little cunt." He whispered, his voice low as he began to feast upon your core. You grasped his hair tightly, pulling on the soft curls as he used his tongue with fervor.
"Mine, mine, mine." He repeated like a mantra. You wanted to believe him. Yet, despite his claims of possession, you knew deep down that he didn’t truly desire to own you. If he did, he wouldn’t let you return to your husband at the end of each night. 
Your period had started, and you felt like dying. The cramps were bearable, but the emotional pain was killing you. You had spent the morning with a dull ache in your lower stomach, a sign that something was definitely wrong. Although you recognized the pain, you clung to a small hope that it might be a good sign. You didn’t know much about pregnancy, after all. Perhaps there was still a chance. But it was the sight of the bloodstain on your panties that made you break down in sobs. It was concrete proof you weren’t pregnant. All those times you forced yourself to smile while your husband snuck his hands under your clothes had been for nothing? Unprepared and caught off guard, you had nothing to take care of it. You had to stuff your underwear with toilet paper and order pads through a delivery service. After they arrived, you took a long hot shower to wash away the blood from your inner thighs. Then, instinctively, you made your way to Patrick’s place despite knowing he couldn’t fuck you. You weren’t sure why you were there. Maybe you were seeking some comfort.
When he opened the door, you wrapped your arms tightly around him without saying a word. Patrick just let you in and kissed you gently. You were surprised he didn’t immediately jump your bones like he usually did the second you passed through the door. You wanted to believe he could sense you weren’t feeling right, that he knew you better than anyone. But the truth was, he was most likely oblivious to your issue. Instead, he held you close, his embrace warm and comforting, as you laid on his couch, watching TV with him. You lay beneath him, gently stroking his hair as his head rested on your chest. His breath was warm against your skin, and you felt a surprising sense of peace despite the chaos within you. After more than an hour of cuddling, he shifted, lifting your shirt and slipping his head underneath it. His lips left a trail of burning kisses across your stomach, each one sending a shiver through you. "I need to fuck you." Patrick whispered against your bare skin. You sighed inwardly. Of course, you couldn’t just hang out with Patrick without sex being involved. Not that you usually complained, but right now, you couldn’t and didn’t need to add frustration to the swirling mix of emotions you felt. "I'm on my period." You interrupted him. He quickly removed his head from under your shirt and looked at you with a wide smile on his face. "Really?" He asked, looking quite happy for a man you were rejecting. Was he glad you were bleeding? Was it some kind of kink of his? Or was he just glad you weren’t pregnant? "Do you think I care about a little bit of blood?" He questioned, and you frowned in disgust. He truly had no limits. "At least, I will be able to fill your cunt this time." Oh, so that was the reason? That was enough to make you consider it.
You resisted at first, holding back until the intensity of his grinding against your core left you begging for it. You felt uneasy about letting him inside you while you were bleeding heavily, but he insisted it didn't bother him in the slightest. He pulled down your sweats and underwear, revealing the blood-soaked pad. You braced yourself for his reaction, expecting it to turn him off, but instead, he remained unfazed. "Do you have cramps?" He asked, his voice steady as he tapped his thighs, signaling you to straddle him. On his couch? He didn’t seem to know how messy things could get . You positioned yourself on his lap, facing him, and wrapped your arms around his neck. "A bit." You admitted. "Apparently, it helps." He pulled his length free from his shorts as you lifted your hips. You reached for him, guiding his shaft to your core before you sat down onto it. As he began thrusting upward, you were already moving wildly against him, driven by an insatiable craving for his touch. Your period made you extra horny and sensitive, amplifying every touch and sensation. He gripped your buttcheeks firmly, pulling you down onto his length with deliberate, slow strokes. Your eyes rolled back in your head. “Ah...” You moaned, glancing down to ensure you weren’t fucking in a pool of blood. All you could see was a pinkish blend of cream and blood covering the base of his cock. Reassured that you weren’t bleeding to death in your lover’s arms, you started bouncing on him with renewed fervor. A grunt escaped his lips when you planted a passionate kiss on them. 
“Patrick…” You sighed in bliss. “I’m coming…” He dug his fingernails into your ass cheeks as you clenched around his length, feeling the climax build. A few extra well-angled thrusts pushed you over the edge. “Fuck!” You cried out. You hid your face in the crook of his neck, eyes closed, a smile spreading across your face as you came, feeling both overwhelmed and dizzy. You pressed your lips against his neck, feeling the pulse of his heartbeat against your mouth.
When he finally followed you into climax and you felt his warmth spreading deep inside you, a sensation you had been missing for weeks, you couldn’t help but admit that maybe he was right. Period sex, despite your initial reservations, was actually quite alright.
You both ended up in the shower, trying to clean up the mess you had made. "Are you disappointed you're on your period?" He asked, his voice echoing softly against the tiled walls while he rubbed soap over his body. Disappointed was an understatement. "A bit… I knew it could take some time to get pregnant, but I kinda hoped it would be quick." You admitted, feeling already exhausted of the baby-making process. "You should be prepared that it might take a while. The sperm is like centuries old. Fucking expired." Patrick replied, mocking your husband once more. "Patrick." You glared at him. The truth was, you didn’t care that he was making fun of the man you shared your life with. It didn’t matter. What irked you was the unsettling possibility that he might be right and that getting pregnant wouldn’t be as easy as you hoped.
Taking pregnancy tests each day had become an obsessive routine. Each morning, you felt the urge to pee on the stick as soon as you woke up. Your desire to become a mother was only matched by your eagerness to escape the never-ending cycle of trying. Your attraction to your husband had faded, so you had to mentally prepare yourself each time, struggling to even become slightly wet. It was painful most of the time, and his lack of attention to your pleasure made the whole experience a struggle. You were convinced that if he were more attentive with foreplay, things might have been better. For now, lube was your best friend, and you blamed your dryness on nervousness. After all, making a baby was a pretty big deal. During the act, you had to do some of your best acting, pretending to be overwhelmed with pleasure the second he was inside you just to boost his ego and make him jizz quicker. And once he came, you felt disgusting, but you had to keep it together and raise your legs above your head.
But today, the test looked different. Two lines appeared, with the second line so faint it was almost invisible. You took another test, and then another, each one revealed the same faint line. As you gazed at the positive pregnancy tests lined up next to the sink, a wave of mixed emotions washed over you. Part of you was filled with happiness, knowing your dream was finally about to become a reality. Yet, another part of you was torn, for this also meant the end of things with Patrick. For a brief, tempting moment, you wondered if you could keep it a secret from him a bit longer, until you started showing, just to keep seeing him a few more months. But deep down, you knew you couldn't lie to him. You couldn’t betray him, not like you did with your husband.
Patrick was the first person you wanted to tell, even before your husband. When you arrived at his place, you realized you had no idea on how to break the news. You kissed him lightly on the lips as he opened the door and let you in, but you remained silent. You wished you had rehearsed what to say before rushing over. "What’s wrong?" He asked, sensing your discomfort as you barely responded to his caresses and kisses against your neck. "I think I’m pregnant..." You blurted out. You felt his hands instinctively pull away from your ass, and the smile vanished from his face. "Oh." His gaze dropped to your stomach. "Wow." He murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "Congrats?" Patrick had never been good at lying, and his half-hearted congratulations made that evident. He looked at you, chewing on the inside of his cheek, struggling to mask his emotions. You knew how delicate the situation was, but you had hoped he would show a bit more happiness for you. Yet, deep down, you were also relieved that he didn’t. It meant he wasn’t ready to let go of you.
You had never broached the subject of what would happen between the two of you once you became pregnant. Truthfully, you had avoided thinking about it completely. It had always seemed clear to you that it would mark the end of your affair and you hated it. But apparently, that wasn’t as obvious for Patrick. "Do you want to stop seeing each other?" He suddenly asked, his voice trembling with uncertainty. Was it even a real question? You shook your head in denial. Giving the opposite answer would have been the right thing to do for your family but you had no desire to end things. "Thank god." He murmured with palpable relief, drawing you into a passionate kiss. You were stunned by his reaction. What kind of guy would continue a casual relationship with someone who was pregnant with someone else’s child? It seemed so morally wrong. Yet, nothing felt more intensely right than the sensation of Patrick’s fingers wandering beneath your panties.
The first two months of your pregnancy felt like the beginning of your relationship all over again. Patrick was back to fucking you at least four times a week, taking full advantage of the freedom to fill you with his cum without any worries. And you never brought the subject up again, not even once. You knew life was growing inside you, but you pretended to ignore it and be your old self. You were as present for Patrick as you could be. Despite your husband being a bit more attentive since you gave him the news, you made time, making sure to be at Patrick’s place as soon as your husband left for work. As much as you wanted things to remain that way, you noticed Patrick had become a bit more cautious around you. No more throwing you against every piece of furniture, no more strangling your neck with his strong hands or sitting on your chest, pinning you down while he made you gag on his cock. He still treated you like a cock-hungry whore, calling you all sorts of names and covering you with his cum, but he was more gentle about it. You hated it. You hated how he pretended everything was unchanged, while you found yourself begging for even the slightest hint of roughness. He had even stopped smoking in your presence, and you nearly had to put a cigarette between his lips for him to feel relaxed enough to light it up. You had spent months yearning for him to show some consideration, and now, when he did, you craved the uncaring treatment you once had. What was wrong with you?
And then, just when you thought nothing could burst your bubble, he had to leave for a tour. You were thrilled for him, celebrating his success and impressive rankings, but you also felt resentment. He always seemed to choose tennis over you. You found it unsettling when you realized that you actually preferred it when he was miserable and struggling with his career because it meant he needed you more. How twisted was that?
While he was away, he made a point to check in on you, sending you a daily picture of his cock. You were grateful for it, especially since the hormones had you unbearably horny, making you hump your pillow several times a day. You were also thankful for FaceTime, allowing you to watch his face as he came, your name on his lips and his hand gripping his cock.
When he finally returned, defeated and unvictorious, you rushed to his apartment like an addict craving her fix. You had missed him so much, it almost felt like dying. Now that he was back, you were determined not to let him go. As he opened the door and you saw him standing there, you could swear he looked even more handsome than you remembered. He greeted you with a grin, though his eyes quickly flickered to your stomach. You had spent countless hours on your knees, desperately praying that you wouldn't start showing, wishing to remain physically the same woman you had always been. But despite your efforts, your body had grown larger and fuller, and loose clothing could no longer cover it. "Come in, fatty." He teased as he let you inside. It was probably the last thing you wanted to hear as an emotional, pregnant woman who yearned to stay slim and hot for her athletic lover. Yet, the playful smack on your ass as you walked in reassured you and made you smile. Maybe you were a bit of a "fatty", but you were a "fatty" he wanted to fuck. Once inside, you grasped him by the collar and drew him close, savoring the warmth of his body against yours. You had missed his touch, his scent, his smile. The moment you were reunited, you pressed your lips to his with an urgent, desperate kiss. "I’m so horny…" You murmured breathlessly against his tongue. "When aren’t you?" He replied with a playful smirk, effortlessly lifting you off the ground and gripping your thighs with a firm, possessive hold. "I swear the hormones are driving me crazy." You whispered into his ear, your breath hot and heavy as you nibbled on his earlobe. "Show me then." He urged, biting his lower lip at the sensation of your tongue against his sensitive ear. You spent the rest of the day in bed, riding him into oblivion. Being on top allowed you to grind against him, the friction offering sweet relief to your aching, swollen clit. Even when his body could no longer keep up, you continued, desperately humping his thigh like a starved animal.
After a couple of months, your growing belly made it difficult to have sex in most positions. So now, he mostly fucked you from behind, either spooning you or in doggy style. To be fair, if you really wanted to, you would still ride him, but you suspected that the sight of your pregnant body turned him off. It was either that or Patrick Zweig, the most sexual being you knew, had somehow turned into a saint.
He no longer initiated sex, it was always you who made the first move. While he obliged and fucked you, it was clear he wasn't doing it for his own pleasure. Sure, he would come but he wasn’t using you like he used to. He barely spoke during the act, no more crude talk, he was only asking if you liked it from time to time. Of course, it was still enjoyable, Patrick Zweig would always be a good fuck, whether he put in the effort or not, but the passion was gone. You missed the wild intensity of the past. There were no more forceful poundings. He was delicate now, his strokes long and gentle, his hands tenderly cradling your hips. Throat fucking had become a thing of the past too, he wouldn’t even finish in your mouth anymore. Anal sex, once one of his biggest turn-ons, was suddenly off the table. He had even stopped going down on you. He had tried once, but after a few minutes of his view being blocked by your growing belly, he gave up, leaving you unsatisfied and longing for more.
You didn’t want to admit that your relationship with Patrick had lost part of its thrill. Yet, it became painfully clear when, during a particularly intimate moment, you accidentally called him by your husband’s pet name. "L-lovey…" The forbidden term slipped out while he was spooning you, his cock deeply buried inside. The slow, languid thrusts were so reminiscent of your husband’s lazy fucking and the position so familiar that the mix-up was almost inevitable.
You wanted to ask Patrick what was wrong, whether your changing body was troubling him. Why wasn’t he fucking you like the whore you were anymore? But bringing it up would mean confronting the reality of your pregnancy, something you weren’t ready to face. You still needed him in your life, whether he fucked you or not. You were convinced that keeping him at a distance from your baby was for the best. You had intentionally shielded him from that part of your world. So you never mentioned the countless doctor visits or the preparatory classes you attended. You kept your aches and symptoms to yourself, and he remained oblivious to the fact that you already knew the baby’s gender, and how happy you were about it. It was a girl, just as you had hoped.
"Your friend Patricia says she really needs to see you." Your husband said, handing you your phone as it buzzed with a new message. Patricia? Why on earth would Patrick contact you on the weekend? He knew your husband was home. "Ah yes, she’s going through a hard time." Knowing Patrick, probably a really, really, really hard time. "I should probably go, she needs me." You said, making your way to the door. Your husband let out a sigh that made you freeze. It was a sigh that hinted at trouble. "Does Patricia know you’re pregnant?" He asked, his voice carrying an edge. You squinted at him, trying to understand the motive behind his question. Was he still questioning your faithfulness? You knew he had doubts, but you had no way of knowing what he knew or didn’t know. With the lack of honest communication between you, you only knew deception and secrecy, making it unlikely he would confront you directly. He was as much of a coward as you were. For a brief moment, you wondered if his question came from concerns that you might be pregnant with another man’s child. "Yes, it’s not like I can hide it." You answered, trying to sound casual and unconcerned. "She must be happy for you." He said, clearly pressing for more information. "Sure. Like any friend would be." You replied, trying to clear up his doubts. You wanted to reassure him that despite the mess in your relationship, you still respected him enough to be honest about such an important matter. You gave him a quick peck on the cheek, grabbed your jacket, and headed for the door before he could say anything more. As you left the house, you texted Patrick back.
← [To : Patricia - 2:22pm] Don’t text me when he’s home! My husband saw your message! → [From : Patricia - 2:22am] Oh really? Did he see this too? [video attached]
Attached was a video of his cock sliding out of you as he fucked you from behind, one hand pressed against the small of your back while the other held his phone. You had no idea he had even recorded such a video. You’d never seen him use his phone to film before. Judging by your size in the video, it was clearly recent. You found yourself wondering why he had felt the need to capture that moment.
← [To : Patricia - 2:24pm] Is that blackmail material? → [From : Patricia - 2:25pm] More like jerk off material. → [From : Patricia - 2:26pm] You know I would never blackmail you. I want you to be safe and living a comfortable life.
You kept re-reading his words. A comfortable life? What about happiness?
← [To : Patricia - 2:31pm] I’m on my way.
Before you knew it, you were back to your monotonous housewife routine. Your husband had returned to his business trips, and the attention he had showered on you after the pregnancy announcement had died down. Once again, you were reduced to just being a part of the house he lived in.
You were now free to invite Patrick over as often as you wished during the week, eager for his company. While sex was mostly why you met him, what you truly craved was his presence. So, he came over to watch movies, play video games, or simply chat. The guest bedroom had essentially become his, and by extension, yours as well. Patrick grew increasingly comfortable in your home, moving through the hallways with the ease of someone who belonged there. You were confident that if you asked him for anything, he would locate it in no time.
You were in the bathtub, savoring a rare moment of intimacy as the warm water enveloped both of you. Patrick's cramped shower barely allowed for such comfortable closeness, but tonight, your spacious bathtub had made it possible. One of his hands rested on your breast while the other lay absentmindedly on your stomach. It was the first time Patrick had ever touched you there. He usually made a conscious effort to avoid this part of your body. Was it because he didn’t want to hurt your baby? Out of respect for your husband? Or was he simply grossed out? The last theory seemed the most probable. For weeks, you had prayed that your child wouldn’t show any sign of life in Patrick’s presence, but it had happened more than once. You always made sure to dismiss it, no matter how hard it kicked, masking any sign of discomfort or awareness. Even though your life was on the brink of a monumental change, you were determined to remain the same old you for Patrick. 
You placed your hand on top of his, intertwining your fingers, allowing yourself to imagine, just for a second, that you were living this life with Patrick. That he was your cherished husband with a successful career, and you were carrying his child, a child you both eagerly awaited. When he realized where his hand was, he quickly pulled it away, resting it on your thigh. "Don't you want one of your own someday?" You asked, breaking the silence. "Hell no." He replied, his voice tinged with disgust. "You keep calling me deranged. Do you think it’s a wise decision to pass down those genes?" Sure, he was deranged, but he was also caring, attentive, and sweet. "I think you’d make the best daddy." You said, a warmth in your voice. Silence followed your words, and you could tell they had some kind of impact on him. You doubted anyone had ever thought so highly of him or simply believed he was capable of any kind of responsibility. "Aren’t I already?" He teased, sneaking his hand between your legs, his fingers finding your clit with slow, intense rubs. You bit your lip, knowing he was trying to divert your attention from the seriousness of your words. "I’m serious, Patrick!" You insisted, your voice trembling. "One day, you’re going to make a woman the happiest, and I’m so pissed that it’s not me." There. You said it. You couldn’t pretend anymore that this was a normal, casual relationship. You would have traded the world to be the one Patrick would settle for. 
Patrick sighed deeply. And here you were, crying again, your emotions a chaotic mix fueled by hormones. His fingers were still on your cunt, and you were sobbing. "I don’t want to be the reason you’re crying." He murmured, his voice full of regret and tenderness. He placed a soft kiss on your head and wrapped his arms as tightly as he could around your torso. But he was the reason for your tears. If he wanted you to stop crying, he only had to say one word and make you the happiest woman on earth. But he would never. Patrick Zweig would remain a selfish and immature man, unable to commit. Not unable. Unwilling. The future you longed for with Patrick was a fantasy, one that couldn’t coexist with the life you already had, and it had to stop. The bathwater grew colder as your tears continued to fall down your cheeks.
You were madly in love with Patrick, it was a fact you could no longer deny, no matter how hard you tried for the sake of your marriage. It was becoming impossible for you to conceal the depth of your distress. It was when you started resenting your baby for straining your relationship that you knew it was time to stop seeing Patrick. You had been so eager to be a mom, but Patrick had made it difficult to look forward to it, and you didn’t want him to ruin your relationship with your unborn child. Ending this relationship would, without a doubt, be the hardest thing you would ever do, but it was necessary. The weight of guilt had become unbearable. It wasn’t your husband you felt sorry for, it was your child. Your rendez-vous with Patrick had lost all its enjoyment. You were fairly certain he could sense how much you loved him and it was starting to scare him. You couldn’t help but constantly message him and tell him how much you missed him. You had to know where he was and with who, acting like his jealous wife. You knew he was fucking other people, you could smell on him and you had no right to say a thing about it. Each time you met, you ended up in tears on his couch, overwhelmed by the betrayal that wasn't even a betrayal. You knew he was grossed out by your swollen body and your unpredictable mood swings. He wasn’t even fucking your brains out anymore, he mostly just held you, cuddled you, and offered reassurances, as a friend might. And those meetings were happening less and less often as he always had a great excuse to cancel on you. His career was doing better than ever and he had to be away from home. You suspected that for him, the end of the relationship had come long before it had for you, and that realization was breaking your heart. Without him, you faced a future alone, and the thought of it frightened you. Breaking up with him felt like a huge mistake, but you couldn’t back down. Your daughter deserved to have parents who respected each other and loved her unconditionally.
"I think we should stop seeing each other." You were lying in bed, spooning when you finally said it, your voice trembling with apprehension. The words you had dreaded to utter hung heavily in the air. "I really need to focus on my child and husband." You attempted to explain, though it felt out of place, considering the months you had spent neglecting both. "I get it." He replied softly, as if he had been expecting this for some time. Wasn’t he going to fight for you? You longed for him to beg, to declare he couldn’t live without you. But instead, he remained silent, simply holding you, his arms wrapped around your chest. Tears began to fall down your cheeks, but you tried to stay quiet, unwilling to show weakness. If he didn’t care about you leaving, why should you care? Fuck it. You were not strong enough to maintain the facade. You wanted him to understand how much he meant to you, how grateful you were for the way he had helped you discover yourself. Because of him, you had learned what love was truly meant to be, and now you had to say goodbye to it. "I will miss you so much." You whispered, a lump forming painfully in your throat. You recognized that you were being unfair by forcing your feelings upon him. Although not answering would make him seem like an asshole, you needed to hear his response. "I know." He replied, but his words offered little comfort. Of course, he wouldn’t answer. "Me too." He finally added, his voice barely a whisper. The words sent you into a fit of loud, uncontrollable crying. Patrick did his best to soothe you, pressing gentle kisses along your neck. For a brief moment, it felt like his face was as wet as yours, though you suspected that was just wishful thinking.
You both stood in front of the door to his apartment, tightly wrapped in an embrace, his chin resting gently on the top of your head as he stroked your back. It had been months since he had held you so closely. It seemed that your enormous belly that used to be an issue for him wasn’t anymore. The hug didn’t help the tears streaming down your face. "I better see you on TV as the best fucking tennis player on earth." You sniffled against his chest. You only wished for the best for him, knowing he had the potential to achieve it. "Don’t worry, I’ll make myself impossible to avoid." He teased, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "And you’d better be the happiest woman on earth. You and the little one." You nodded, though you had doubts about ever finding happiness without him. At the very least, you hoped your child would.
You had decided it was best for the two of you to call a driver to pick you up, avoiding the extended goodbye that would come if Patrick drove you home. Patrick’s car was also weirdly sentimental for you. It was where everything had started, where you had become a new woman, where he had fucked you so good that you had forgotten your miserable life. You didn’t want it to be where it ended. You knew the moment you saw him behind that wheel, your knees would get weak, and you would beg him to take you back. So here you were, sobbing in the backseat of a stranger’s car. You didn’t miss the driver’s quick glances in the rear-view mirror but you didn’t give a fuck. You needed to release the sadness before you reached your house. Once near your home, you asked the driver to stop at the exact spot where Patrick always parked when he picked you up. There, you cried until you couldn’t anymore. After a few minutes of loud cries, your eyes had simply stopped shedding tears and had become bloodshot and very dry. All there was left was a lump in your throat and a headache. When you finally exited the car to return to the emptiness of your house, you made sure to tip the driver extra money for the inconvenience. You were also very grateful he didn’t ask any question.
When your husband walked through the door that evening, he was unprepared for the request you were about to make. "I need you to focus entirely on me and our daughter from now on." You said, your voice a low but firm whisper. Your gaze met his with an intensity that left no room for misunderstanding. Your eyes were still swollen and red from the tears. "No one else." You added as he looked at you curiously at the unspoken implication of the other woman. He could feign ignorance all he wanted, but you were about to make it very clear to him. "I don’t want this family to fall apart." You said, your hand resting gently on your stomach. You had sacrificed your own happiness for your child, and you wanted him to share in that sacrifice, to be as miserable as you were. He let out a deep sigh, his shoulders slumping as he nodded in agreement. "Only you two." He replied, trying to reassure you. You wanted to believe him, but deep down you knew you would need to check his phone for proof in the coming days. You knew better than anyone how challenging it could be to end things.
A week later, your daughter was born. The postpartum depression hit you hard, a dark cloud that you couldn’t shake off. You found yourself unable to form a bond with your child, hating her for being the reason Patrick was no longer in your life. Each day felt like a struggle, and the baby in your arms was a constant reminder of what you had lost. And Patrick didn't make it any easier for you.
→ [From : Patricia - 9:29pm] I heard about the baby. Congratulations. I hope you’re taking care of yourself.
You almost dropped your phone at the sight of the message. You had no friends in common, so how could he possibly know? You hadn't posted anything about your kid. There was no way he should be aware of it, unless he had been stalking your husband’s account. Your husband, who proudly posted hundreds of pictures of his daughter. A daughter who looked so much like him, you resented both him and her for it. You knew the chances were slim, but you had hoped that somehow, someway, it would be Patrick’s twin that came out of you, that you would see his ears and his nose in her face. So meeting your daughter and her annoyingly tiny ears had been nothing but a disappointment.
← [To : Patricia - 9:30pm] I miss you so much…
You felt weak, already yearning to be back in his arms after only a few days. But to your disappointment, he left the message on read. Deep down, you knew he had done this for your own good.
As your daughter grew, you had hoped that having a child would ease your loneliness. In some ways, it did, but the misery lingered. You were still lonely, just too busy to dwell on it. Your husband remained a devoted father, yet he no longer fulfilled the role of a husband. He had replaced you, his affection solely devoted to your daughter. The little attention he used to give you now went entirely to the baby, and you couldn't voice your resentment without looking like a heartless mother.
For years, you had dreamed of being a mother, but now you regretted it. You had hoped the bond would come with time, but you found yourself unable to grow attached to your own child. And she demanded your constant attention, clinging to your breast like a leech. She was draining the life out of you. Day after day, you felt your own beauty slip away as she grew prettier. Your face appeared dull and blotchy, your body still swollen from the pregnancy, and your skin loose from the drastic changes. Breastfeeding had left you with empty, sagging boobs. You couldn't even bring yourself to think about what childbirth had done to your once perfect, tight little pussy. You knew that pelvic floor exercises would eventually help but you feared nothing could restore it to its former glory. And the stretch marks… They were a constant reminder of how ugly you felt. But that didn’t matter, it wasn't as if anyone was interested in fucking you anymore.
Your affair with Patrick had remained a secret, and now he was just a shadow in your life. He was the one you imagined to make yourself come, the one who lingered in your thoughts whenever you smelled a cigarette or heard about tennis. He was the one you had in mind every time you told your husband you loved him. Though Patrick wasn't entirely gone from your life. For your birthday, a chocolate cake arrived, unsigned but unmistakably from the bakery where it had all begun. It was a thoughtful gesture from him, ensuring that your special day was not forgotten. Knowing you crossed his mind even once was the only thing keeping you alive at the moment.
At two and a half years old, your daughter had begun to be a bit more independant, making things somewhat easier for you to manage. She no longer depended on you for her survival, allowing you to leave her with the nanny while you retreated to the garage to cry. The guilt had returned and was slowly killing you, as you watched her from afar, feeling sorry that you, unlike her father, or other mothers did with their kids, struggled to give her the unconditional love she deserved. You had some sort of fondness for her, but it fell short of the love you wished you could offer. Deep down, you feared that your emotional unavailability was already creating traumas she could never overcome as an adult. And despite your efforts to force yourself into a more loving role, each embrace and kiss felt like an exhausting obligation.
Your therapist was your only confidant on that matter. You didn't have many friends to begin with, and you were too ashamed of yourself to open up to anyone else. You knew you would face judgment for being a cheater and a terrible mother. So she knew everything about you, even about the affair. She had discussed your upbringing as a factor in your overall unhappiness, noting the family's pressure to marry and become a wife without allowing you to experience passions and interests or love and relationships. She believed this was why you couldn't move on once you had found thrill in Patrick's arms.
Despite the many issues you had, Patrick was the center every session. It always circled back to him. She no longer mentioned him by name because you would burst into tears every time you talked about him. For her, you had fooled yourself into believing he was your true partner, and being happy with your husband and your daughter meant you were cheating on him. You just couldn’t do that. And your daughter was a constant reminder of who you truly belonged to, and until you accepted the reality of your situation, forming a bond with her would remain impossible. So you tried to remind yourself that Patrick wasn’t the one. All you had to do was to dull the feelings and the pills she prescribed helped with that.
While you were grappling with your struggles with your daughter, your husband was constantly talking about having a second child. The thought of bringing another kid into the world, only to potentially ruin their life as well by being their mother, was unbearable. At first, you told your husband you were too tired to take care of another child, but he persisted. He had even hired a nanny to help with your daughter, easing some of the pressure on you. You then tried to convince him that your body couldn’t handle another pregnancy, that it would be ruined, but he promised to pay for liposuction and any other procedure you needed. You mentioned that your daughter might be jealous of a sibling, but he was confident she would end up loving it. No matter what argument you brought up, he always found a solution, unwavering in his determination. But when you discovered he had returned to his mistress, his phone constantly beeping with her name flashing on the screen, you wanted to make him pay. So you made the drastic decision to get your tubes tied without his knowledge, ending any chance of continuing your lineage. Now, all you had to endure was his gross body on top of yours, moaning into your ear, filling you up, while you pretended to struggle with fertility issues. 
That day, you were out grocery shopping, your little girl perched in the shopping cart. As you navigated the aisles, you sighed when you saw her stretching out, trying to grab something from the shelf. "Don’t touch anything." You said, your tone dry. The endless choice of snacks blurred before your eyes, and you could never quite remember which brand was her favorite. You were studying the list of ingredients closely when you felt a sharp pinch on your waist, making you jump. The last thing you had energy for was dealing with some inappropriate stranger. Ready to unleash your anger, you turned around and froze. It was Patrick. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. "Hey you." He said, his lips curling into a familiar smile. He stood there, his hair a mess of dark curls, face unshaven, wearing ridiculously tiny gym shorts. Earphones dangled from his ears, and a cigarette perched precariously atop one. He clutched a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. He looked like a mess, a beautiful, breathtaking mess nonetheless. You couldn’t help but smile back, your grin so wide it felt like your jaw might dislocate. Despite the heartache from the end of your relationship, seeing him filled you with unparalleled joy. It had been so long since you felt anything, and with just a word, he had awakened something in you. It took all your strength not to jump into his arms and run away with him, leaving your child and everything else behind. "H-hi." You stammered, your voice betraying the flood of emotions surging within you.
You both remained silent for a moment, staring into each other's eyes. Patrick's gaze briefly shifted to your daughter, who remained oblivious to the stranger standing beside her. She had not even noticed him. If the bond between a mother and child was supposed to be so strong, how could she not recognize the man who had been there almost every single day while she grew in your womb? You didn't know what you really expected from her. Perhaps to recognize his voice and accidentally call him ‘daddy’? That was stupid. All you knew was that you felt irritated that Patrick's presence didn't affect her in the slightest while it was turning your world upside down. 
He licked his lower lip, a small gesture that used to send you over the edge, before locking eyes with you once more. You tried to start a conversation, asking him how he was doing, how tennis was going, or if he missed you as much as you missed him. But all that came out were a few random, babbled syllables. A chuckle escaped his lips, a sound that felt like a slap in the face. Without another word, he turned and staggered away, clearly intoxicated. Wait. That was it? You stood there, paralyzed by the abruptness of his departure, your mind racing. You wanted to run after him, to grab his arm and beg him to take you back. But before you could find the courage to move, his figure had already disappeared into the distance. What was that about? Did the sight of you disgust him so much that he couldn't even bring himself to say goodbye properly? His indifference cut deeper than a knife, leaving you standing there, hurt and abandoned.
Finishing grocery shopping felt like the hardest task on earth. Your mind was consumed by thoughts of Patrick, and each step you took felt like it might be your last. Your legs trembled under the weight of the encounter, threatening to give out at any moment. Once back home, you handed your daughter over to your husband, muttering an excuse about needing the bathroom. The moment the door closed behind you, you collapsed in tears.
You stared at your reflection in the mirror. The face looking back at you was a stranger : aging lines carved deep and dark circles shadowing your eyes. Your hair, with its roots showing and a few rebellious white strands, only added to the sense of unfamiliarity. You used to visit the plastic surgeon’s office and the hairdresser more often than you visited your own family. If it were truly you staring back at yourself in the mirror, you would never have allowed yourself to become like this. You were thin, but not in a way that spoke of health or tone. Instead, you looked sickly, your skin stretched over a frame that had once been strong and full of life. Your breasts had lost their firmness, now small, empty, and sagging.
No wonder Patrick had laughed. How could he gaze upon you and perceive anything other than the mere shadow of the person you once were? His laughter was a painful reminder of how far you had fallen from the days when you were the woman he desired the most. The urge to end it all welled up inside you, dark and overpowering. The thought of continuing to exist in a world where Patrick Zweig thought you were laughable seemed unbearable. No one would miss you anyway. Your daughter had your husband and your husband had his younger mistress. But how would you do it? You didn’t want to burden your family. You didn’t want them to discover your body and endure the pain of funerals, you just wanted to vanish without a trace.
Sinking to the floor, you sobbed uncontrollably for what felt like an eternity. As you contemplated every possible way to exit this life, you eventually rose to your feet, still trembling. Splashing cold water on your face, you washed away the tears and evidence of your breakdown
Later that night, after hours of your daughter's never-ending screaming, she finally drifted off to sleep. You had left your husband to tend to her, feeling unable to function ever since locking eyes with Patrick again. You believed her father was the safer choice anyway. You sensed yourself slipping from reality and feared that you might end up hurting her as well as yourself.
You laid beside your husband in bed, observing him engrossed in his book. You envied how peaceful he looked. He seemed so unaware of the despair that was slowly gnawing at your insides. You wondered if he could even think for a second that you wanted everything to end at this instant, to fade away knowing your final memory would be of another man. 
The buzzing of your phone pulled you out of your dark thoughts. An incoming message. Seeing the name of the sender, you stole a quick glance at your husband to ensure he remained absorbed in his reading before cautiously unlocking your phone, your fingers trembling with fear.
→ [From : Patricia - 11:18pm] Damn, mama! I forgot how hot you looked. Had to leave before I did something stupid, didn’t want you to see me that way… 
And you were paralyzed. Your limbs felt numb, as if disconnected from your head, yet your eyes welled up with tears. A tightening sensation gripped your throat, making each breath a struggle, while your heart pounded furiously in your chest. Was this it? All this planning to end it all just to die of a heart attack?
→ [From : Patricia - 11:19pm] Fuck… I lied, I didn’t forget. → [From : Patricia - 11:19pm] I really miss my tight little cunt.
He didn’t miss your tight little cunt, he missed his tight little cunt.
And just like that, you fell back into the whirlwind : the constant texting, the secret rendez-vous, the passionate fucking in the back of his car and once again, you found yourself falling madly in love with a man who wasn’t your husband. Except this time, it was different, he loved you too and you possessed him in ways you never had before.
♠♣♥♦
a/n : This was an anon request to begin with and I'm so thankful because the idea was so good. It was going to be a headcanon but I quickly turned this into a fic because I had not been so inspired in SO LONG. I'm so sorry it took forever (a month a half!!!!) to write it but life got in the way and I changed stuff so many times. Also sorry for the smut fans, I tried to be elusive a lot of time, did a lot of fade to black because they do fuck a lot and i didn't feel like writing 10k of sucking dick and cock (time and place, and you did it at my birthday dinner).
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The Nakshatra Colors
In Astrology, every Nakshatra has a color which it is associated with. The color of the Nakshatra works in two primary ways. Internally and externally. This article piece focused on the Internal.
On an internal level, the color of the Nakshatra has a psychological effect. According to color theory every hue, shade, and tone affects the spirit and consciousness. Every Nakshatra color internally takes on the psychological traits of color, integrating into the consciousness and personality.
The colors of Nakshatras internally are best applied to the Nakshatra placement of the Sun, Moon, Rahu, and Ketu. This is because all 4 of these planets relate directly to the internal consciousness.
The Traits of a Nakshatra Color brings the following traits into the inner self or personality:
Ashwini - Blood Red
Active Excitement Energy Invigoration High Metabolism Fearlessness Intensity Power Passion Fire Love Lust Arousal Affection Aggression Anger Violence Warfare Terror Survival
Bharani - Blood Red
Active Excitement Energy Invigoration High Metabolism Fearlessness Intensity Power Passion Fire Love Lust Arousal Affection Aggression Anger Violence Warfare Terror Survival
Krittika - White
Independence Youth Innocense Completeness Openness Blank Slates Possibilities Creativity Purity Virtue Cleanliness Simplicity Peace Tranquility Cleansing Efficiency Order Soothing Isolating Empty Boredom, Criticism
Rohini - White
Independence Youth Innocense Completeness Openness Blank Slates Possibilities Creativity Purity Virtue Cleanliness Simplicity Peace Tranquility Cleansing Efficiency Order Soothing Isolating Empty Boredom, Criticism
Mrigashira - Silver Grey
Fluid Sensitive Soothing Calming Restorative Reflection Intuition Clairvoyance Wealth Prestige Quiet Reserved Compromising Blending In Unemotional Indifferent Loner Isolated Depressing
Ardra - Green
Going Motion Equilibrium Balance Harmony Health Wellness Nutrition Vitamins Fitness Growth Fertility Prosperity Progress Wealth Freshness Renewal Stress Relief Relaxation, Nature Inexperienced Envy Greed Jealously
Punarvasu - Lead Grey
Intelligence Wisdom Dignity Experience Neutrality Balance Impartiality Clear Thoughts Compromising Faith Truthful Formal Modern Future Advancing Technology Protective Private Reserved Blending in Loner Isolated Background Existence
Pushya - Black Red
Black
Power Control Protection Elegance Formality Professionalism Standing Out Mystery Dramatic Enigmatic Aggression Anger Fear Anxiety Grief Despair Anxiety Sadness Evil Death Mourning Loneliness Lethargy
Red
Active Excitement Energy Invigoration High Metabolism Fearlessness Intensity Power Passion Fire Love Lust Arousal Affection Aggression Anger Violence Warfare Terror Survival
Ashlesha - Black Red
Black
Power Control Protection Elegance Formality Professionalism Standing Out Mystery Dramatic Enigmatic Aggression Anger Fear Anxiety Grief Despair Anxiety Sadness Evil Death Mourning Loneliness Lethargy
Red
Active Excitement Energy Invigoration High Metabolism Fearlessness Intensity Power Passion Fire Love Lust Arousal Affection Aggression Anger Violence Warfare Terror
Survival
Magha - Cream
Openness Seriousness Intense Respected Esteemed Admired Durability Sophistication Refinement Humility Athletic Ambitious Competitive Cautious Held Back Adversarial Sore Loser Antagonistic
Purva Phalguni - Light Brown/Tan
Natural Organic Warmth Comforting Cozy Calm Relaxed Logical Analytical Creative Artistic Security Luxury Elegance Conservative Dull
Uttara Phalguni - Bright Blue
Optimism Enthusiasm Bright Alert Peace Clam Tranquility Relaxed Meditative Zen Recharging Intelligence Concentration Focus Connection Strong Values Integrity Honesty Attractive Connection Helper Assister Rational Capable Composed Competent Precise Responsible Reliable Trustworthy Loyalty Social Cold Sad Down
Hasta - Dark Green
Bold Controlled Steadfast Conservative Edgy Fertility Drive Desire Money Materialism Hunger Indulgence Moody Oversaturated Overwhelming Flooded Overloaded Gluttony Excess Resentment Spite
Chitra - Black
Power Control Protection Elegance Formality Professionalism Standing Out Mystery Dramatic Enigmatic Aggression Anger Fear Anxiety Grief Despair Anxiety Sadness Evil Death Mourning Loneliness Letheragy
Swati - Black
Power Control Protection Elegance Formality Professionalism Standing Out Mystery Dramatic Enigmatic Aggression Anger Fear Anxiety Grief Despair Anxiety Sadness Evil Death Mourning Loneliness Letheragy
Vishakha - Gold
Optimism Positivity Charisma Passion Wisdom Understanding Enlightenment Success Knowledge Wisdom Great Understanding Triumph Achievement Reputation Wealth Quality Giving Compassionate Loving Selfishness Over-complexity
Anuradha - Reddish Brown/Maroon
Warmth Beauty Primal Emotional Passion Power Strength Determination Confidence Courage Spirited Depth Ambition Force Risk Creative Wise Spiritual Impulsive Anger
Jyestha - Cream
Openness Seriousness Intense Respected Esteemed Admired Durability Sophistication Refinement Humility Athletic Ambitious Competitive Cautious Held Back Adversarial Sore Loser Antagonistic
Mula - Bright Yellow
Happiness Positivity Cheerfulness Inspiring Illuminating Optimism Hope Promising Striking Insightful Wise Humerus Vibrant Stimulated Engaged Overpowering Intense Excessive Warning Caution Deceit Restless
Purva Ashadha - Black
Power Control Protection Elegance Formality Professionalism Standing Out Mystery Dramatic Enigmatic Aggression Anger Fear Anxiety Grief Despair Anxiety Sadness Evil Death Mourning Loneliness Lethargy
Uttara Ashadha - Copper
Down to Earth Warm Homely Wealth Comforting Impassioned Lively Energetic Strong Determined Supportive Genuine Classy Successful Accomplished Egotistical Cheeky Envy Hypocrisy Cynicism
Shravana - Light Blue
Feminine Welcoming Soft Comfortable Safe Calm Gentle Ethereal Peaceful Tranquil Soothing Refined Cultivated Stylish Approachable Concentration Focus Connection Strong Values Integrity Composed Competent Precise Responsible Reliable Trustworthy Superficial Delicate Frail Cold Sad Down
Dhanishta - Silver Grey
Fluid Sensitive Soothing Calming Restorative Reflection Intuition Clairvoyance Wealth Prestige Quiet Reserved Compromising Blending In Unemotional Indifferent Loner Isolated Depressing
Shatabhisha - Cyan/Aqua
Rational Liveliness Nature Healing Therapy Restoring Correcting Mending Remediation Stability Tranquility Clarity of Mind Emotional Balance Serenity Creativity Spirituality Dreams Fantasy Trances
Purva Bhadrapada - Silver Grey
Fluid Sensitive Soothing Calming Restorative Reflection Intuition Clairvoyance Wealth Prestige Quiet Reserved Compromising Blending In Unemotional Indifferent Loner Isolated Depressing
Uttara Bhadrapada - Purple
Power Wisdom Inspiration Creativity Imagination Fantasy Spiritual Devout Philosophical Future Minded Resourceful Selfless Humility Wealthy Luxury Nobility Extravagance Impractical Immature Arrogance Cynicism Melancholy
Revati - Brown
Sensual Sensitive Warm Comfortable Stability Reliable Secure Steadfast Natural Wholesome Dependable Structured Homely Sincere Reassuring Genuine Practical Supportive Dull Mundane Boring Predictable Inexpensive
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reasonsforhope · 2 months
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"Renewables accounted for 50.4% of the European Union’s electricity generation in the first six months of 2024, data from industry association Eurelectric shows.
That’s a sharp increase from calendar year 2023, when renewables comprised 44.7% of the bloc’s mix, according to Eurostat.
“The pace of change is impressive,” Eurelectric secretary general Kristian Ruby said in a statement.
When including nuclear, 74% of the EU’s power came from low-carbon sources in the first half — up from 68% in 2023...
Eurelectric wants the new European Commission to propose an Electrification Action Plan that seeks to boost the share of electricity in final energy consumption to 35% by 2030. This would entail a faster shift to electric vehicles, heat pumps, and industrial decarbonisation technologies, among other things...
Meanwhile, a separate data release showed that renewables accounted for 58% of electricity consumption in Germany in the first half of the year.
That’s up from 52% in the same period a year before, according to the German Association of Energy and Water Industries (BDEW) and the Center for Solar Energy and Hydrogen Research Baden-Württemberg (ZSW).
“This is the reward for the persistent expansion of wind energy and photovoltaics in recent years,” said Kerstin Andreae, chair of BDEW.
Andreae said Germany needed to expand its electricity grid and storage capacity to maintain the momentum. It should also build hydrogen-capable gas-fired power plants.
“This new record underlines that an efficient, reliable, secure and greenhouse gas-neutral power supply based on almost 100% renewable energies, including hydrogen, is not only achievable in Germany by 2035, but also offers a stable foundation for industry on its way to climate-neutral production,” said Frithjof Staiß, managing director of ZSW."
-via The Progress Playbook, July 3, 2024
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Favorite Guest (2) | Yandere Twisted Wonderland
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Part 1
Trey considered himself a peaceful man. Exalted in the company he worked at, a reliable watchman, and a highly trusted man in his personal life. This is probably why he was the only one who noticed the dissolving of his friend’s position and the praise for his miraculous results with one of the hardest hybrids they had in captivity. 
With cameras and sensors all over the zoo, it was up to him to be the first to see everything. To warn the upper management and the scientists who were all too engrossed in their studies to be aware of the impending danger from their subjects of interest. It wasn’t his job to map out the tremors from ‘upper management’  but after being instructed to stop recording during certain officials visits, he accepted it as his duty. 
Ring
Ring
“Yo Yo it’s Cater D, go ahead and leave me a message and follow me on my socials after the beep!” 
Beep
Hearing the message from his friend when he wasn’t stuttering and sobbing uncontrollably didn’t help settle Trey’s suspicions. On paper, they never knew each other but in truth, they’d met in school and kept in contact even as they got into the same line of work. Confidentiality was a line they crossed long ago sharing the events of their work. Trey didn’t feel bad, he figured it was human to share secrets especially, against the monstrous image of the company they had, only interested in the height of the discovery of new life. 
It was also why Trey debated with himself while he watched the loudest sensor go off. The blaring red alarm was loud but due to secrecy the soundproofing of his office let only Trey know about the impending doom. 
The sensor was a valued company secret, the only technological link to the largest threat they’d entrapped. The green Naga that was hundreds of meters (and that was by guessing) the anomaly that turned themselves in and claimed to have convinced the other subjects to stop fighting on his command–was on the move. In an outdated attempt to track him and the other nagas, a plate was installed near the entrance of the cave they gravitated to. There were other cameras and recorders in there but all were dismantled, smashed, or broken before they could collect any data. 
The plate was based on weight and depending on how much longer it was pressed down depended on who was coming out of the cave. 3 meters was the silver-tailed one. 6 meters was the blue one. But any reading over that was registered as the green one. 
This would have been a time for him to unlock the shelf and flip the switch. Putting the entire base on a code dragon: an appropriate name for the Naga they weren’t even sure was one. Evidence suggested that properly shutting down the facility would be the goal….but Trey was hesitating. 
This same facility of people had thrust a dear friend of his into the fire by making him the scapegoat to secure the Naga’s first demands. Clearing his existence from all walks of life when he exercised his morality. Risking his life to defy whatever demands those ‘higher-ups’ had led out.
Cater was now gone. 
All that remained were the scientists who were responsible. 
Without being scared it was clear that the ‘higher-ups’ were worried about an uprising. There was so much they didn’t know about the subjects they’d kept trapped. Always discovering new abilities with the massacres of many employees. It was bound to happen. And with the green Naga’s only confirmation of peace was that he was looking for something possibly being fulfilled with the poor guest from the zoo. 
So the urge to call an early day off grew more as other sensors from separate exhibits began to ring. 
“Yeah, I think it’s best if I take an early day off.”
____________________________________________________________
Hearing the distant sound of glass breaking from inside the cave was the signal you were waiting for. Letting Rollo pick you up, you watched from deeper than the entrance to watch the tip of Malleus’ tail finally disappear into the darkness.. 
“Wow, he is so long.”
Idia giggled as he finished his his contraption, “And girthy too. Hehehe.”
Rollo was likely sneering at him but you couldn’t tell. The blue-haired Naga didn’t look bothered in the slightest, instead, he was smiling widely as he handled the controller. The part of the plan that Malleus allowed involved all three of your participation—Operation Leftovers!
“Idia are you all set up to go?’
“Yup! Those batteries you had worked so much better than the ones I’ve got. And the little gadget in your bag was really–”
“Idia please just send the thing out. I’m ready to forgo the entire plan if you rant another moment longer.”
The Naga with the handmade drone pouted a little before clicking some buttons. The whirring of the drone charging up before flying off. With a phone he swiped as a monitor for his drone he looked intently at the screen. Moving closer to him you watched the fuzzy image become clear. It showed the jungle of the enclosure traversed through by something large. The trees and grass are lying irregularly, some things snapped as though the Naga had gone through breaking them mid-launch. The drone easily maneuvered through the remains to reveal the glass of the enclosure shattered and surrounding it the scientists downed. 
Looking over your shoulder Idia mumbled to himself,” He really didn’t save any for the rest of us, did he?”
You heard it and while you weren’t fond of the scientists who’d brought you here, they were still human. It made your stomach turn as Rollo perked up with a smile as Idia loosely pointed out a few Malleus had missed. The silver Naga darted off from you two, eager to get his hands bloodied with the humans he’d been loathing for months.
“C’mon (Y/n), he might get too excited and leave us behind.”
Accepting Idia’s invitation you climb his back, rubbing your watering eyes into the vast expanse of his cerulean locks. Taking deep breaths you try to distract yourself with the smooth gliding of his tail and the occasional demented giggling he lets out while watching the drone screen. Mentally patting yourself on the back, you’re glad you declined Malleus’ offer to carry you while he cleared a path. When you warned him about the use of guns or explosives he laughed, informing you that ‘the pellets sent in the past were nothing for someone as familiar with fire’ as he. As much as you’d love to watch him deflect, you assured him you’d be more helpful in the rear. Promising you’d be able to guide the three of you out of the facility without putting any of you in too much danger—much to Rollo’s displeasure. The plan hinges on Malleus’ destructive capabilities and the other captive creatures also take advantage. 
Idia slowed as he cautiously turned the corner to find Rollo throwing a formerly alive scientist into a nearby wall. Still controlling the drone it provided a cleared path to the entrance of the zoo and parking lot, save for the few guests running in fear. 
“It seems like Malleus is already headed to your place.”
You sighed as you pictured the giant Naga scaring your neighbors. Unfortunately, when you tried to convince him of another rendezvous point he dismissed your worries—claiming that he’d love to enjoy himself in the quaint confines of your human nest. You just hoped he hadn’t destroyed your furniture while squeezing into the tight space. Rollo pulled you out of your 
“Now how do we get to your ‘inconspicuous’ route?”
“We have to go to the car park.”
They both looked at each other before looking at you again. 
“The place where we put the metal tools with wheels.”
“Oh!” “Why didn’t you just say that from the beginning.”
Mapping out the way with Idia’s drone you urged the duo to move quickly; ignoring their not-so-silent snickering about ‘how you were the slow one with your tiny single-jointed legs.’ The surreal relief of stepping over scientists’ bodies and opening the staff-only door you had been escorted through just hours before. The sun was setting now and you were grateful that it looked like the general zoo was closed now. It made the laughable scene of shoving two Nagas into your car less conspicuous. At this point the only battle was driving with those two bickering right in your ear. 
“Don’t touch me!”
“I literally can’t right now! Maybe if you scooched a litte-”
“Me!? Scooch!? Are you blind?”
“Why are you being so pissy lately!?”
“ME!? PISSY?! YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU—”
After a short eternity of driving; finally, you could open the door to your destination, watching as they unfurled and wiggled away from each other. All that was left was for you to unlock–or rather just open the door seeing as it was already unlocked. What a promising sign.
“So this is my house, feel free to make yourselves at ho—”
The feeling of wind slapping your face and the disappearing silver tail past a corner was another shock. As if sensing your disbelief Idia curled around you unbearably close nuzzling into your neck while humming.
“He’s just worried Malleus took over all your smell.”
“Really? I thought he just wanted to find someplace far from us.”
“...Maybe that too…”
“I see.”
“You got any games?”
It took a while to get inside the actual door considering Idia was refusing to release you from his hold. Inching yourself into your home it was apparent Malleus had made himself at home, draped over your couch, the kitchen, and all hallways was his emerald shimmering tail. Standing firm–almost rocklike as you struggled to climb past with ease.  You were able to shake Idia off you when you introduced him to your television, leaving him with instructions not to break anything you set out to find the Naga all spread throughout the house. 
It was a battle trying to balance yourself on the steps that were being majorly taken by the muscular tail draped on the entirety of the stairs. But you made it, taking a breath before pushing the door to your room–-it was halfway closed on the rest of Malleus’ tail. 
Taking up the entirety of the room was Malleus, leaning low on the side of your bed, imitating what would’ve been a person kneeling. The level he was in served its purpose as it seemed, he was whispering something in Rollo’s ear. The grumpy Naga was perfectly curled, fitting on your bed as he laid face down into your pillow. He was violently clutching the plush cotton but the seconds that you spied Malleus’ whispering it seemed to weaken. 
Malleus turned and smiled, “Happy your home, (Y/n)!” 
Slithering away from Rollo he held you into his chest, lightly digging his nose into your head. No doubt, smelling you for the umpteenth time. You couldn’t tell if he was intentionally blocking your vision or genuinely interested in what he was asking.
“Do you have anything to eat, (Y/n)?”
“I can make something real fast, though I don’t know if it’ll be any good,” you glanced at his tail,” or enough.”
“That is fine, shall we go?”
He was already moving you with him as he headed to the door. You tried to look past him at Rollo but Malleus was intent on leading you out. 
“What about Rollo isn’t he hungry?”
Malleus completely took you off the floor, carrying you down the stairs while nuzzling his head into your own. Figuring he was attempting to calm you, you stopped trying to look tucking your legs up higher as he reached the ground floor.
“He will be fine for now. Do not worry about him.”
__________________________________________________________
The sun had long since set and the kitchen was closed. The only human within the house was fast asleep under the covers, subconsciously fighting the blue-scaled Naga who was dutifully playing with a switch. His tail was curled between his human’s legs in a snug hold casually gaming while his human snored into the night. 
The other two Naga were downstairs, sitting in the dark without the lights on. They didn’t need it. Their gray and green eyes can see each other perfectly clear. Rollo was on what (Y/n) called a couch coiling his tail repeatedly while he kneaded at the pillow he’d been squeezing for over six hours. Now and then dragging his nose along the cover while inhaling the scent of its original owner still lingering in the linen. 
“I am still hungry.”
Malleus kept his distance leaning over the back of the couch and letting his head rest on his arms. His gaze worriedly flickering to his mate’s face and then to the permanent puncture marks into his pale unattended neck.
“Are you listening?”
Rollo was turned around now as if aware that his giant mate was distracted from listening to his woes whining. He was peeved for many reasons. The irritating scent of other inferior humans on both sides of his newest mate’s home. The occasional whiff of dominance his other mate was exuding and the inferiority that came with being near him. But most of all the lack of a filling meal was on his mind; especially when just hours before perfect morsels surrounded him.
“I am.”
The husky voice and the feeling of Malleus’ weight curling around his smaller tail was a constant reminder of his mate’s comforting superiority. This was evident for the same reason he hadn’t gorged himself while leaving the prison, he dreamed of eating his way out of. Just as he hated he loved Malleus knew this was what the problem was.
“You were not able to eat during your escape.”
It wasn’t a question, the plan never included him needing to attack others. Granted there were a few outliers, but it wasn’t enough to satiate him. Even worse there were quite a few opportunities to eat some humans-paralyzed with fear. But he refrained, for the their newest mate was too judgmental and it would be inconvenient if they tried to run now.
“Hardly, it wasn’t enough to keep any one full.”
Malleus purred as he ran his fingers up the spine of his mate, letting his tail lock around Rollo’s as he shivered.
“I am grateful you kept (Y/n)’s happiness in mind.”
Rollo huffed, “Was there ever a doubt I wouldn’t?”
Malleus answered with a kiss to his hips, unraveling himself as he made his way to a window that was already opened. 
“How about we both ‘eat out?’ (Y/n) was certain there would be an influx of their law enforcement attempting to discover what was going on.”
 Rollo smirked, “Sounds delicious. I say we go!”
 Rollo didn’t need to be told twice dashing past Malleus and onto the darkened allies in the direction of the zoon. Before Malleus could follow he looked to stairs with a woeful pout. 
“Don’t make that face, I’ve got (Y/n). We’ll be fine.”
Malleus tilted his head as if to ask, ‘Are you sure?’
Idia rolled his golden eyes, finally looking up from his game to capture the lips of the greedy dragon. After a minute of Idia attempting to accomplish his game while sucking the forked tongue down his throat, he was released with a loving nip to his neck. 
“Have a nice meal you two.”
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lagomoz · 10 months
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Proseka headcanons
-as rui’s childhood friend, nene has extensive fire safety knowledge
-shizuku is adopted, hence why she looks so different from shiho. she was adopted shortly before the moon rabbit event and it contributed to her clinginess
-shiho forgets this fact sometimes. she’ll casually mention something like shizuku got all mom’s good genes so unfair and ichika has to be. um. shiho
-kanade is mildly nearsighted/myopic but spends so much time at her computer she hasn’t noticed
-emu is buff. she climbs multiple stories without breaking a sweat and is canonically part of the swimming, handball and rhythmic gymnastic clubs, you can’t tell me she doesn’t have some muscle
-saki helps out as a human notepad for tsukasa, reminding of him things he would otherwise forget within 5 minutes
-the vocaloids also help. at first it was unnerving to have hatsune miku be an extension of his psyche that knows his darkest secret (stole saki’s candy when he was 6) but now his phone has a more reliable catgirl themed reminder system
-you know that classic nightmare of leaving the house without pants? tsukasa has legitimately done that as a kid. he forgor. (saki will never let him live it down)
-in the kamiyama student council/hall monitor room, an has put up at sign saying “_ days since last kamishiro incident”
-the shinonome siblings both figured out the other one was gay before they figured it out about themselves
-airi’s great at trivia from her time as a variety show star. she still can’t beat minori at idol trivia, though
-ena keeps a diary with fort knox level security. try to read it and you’ll lose a finger
-saki learned to crochet from the old ladies in the hospital
-shiho’s most treasured phenny is a somewhat lumpy crocheted phenny holding a very lumpy crocheted bass guitar
-tsukasa snores. he falls asleep in 10 seconds and sounds like a dying lawnmower
-mizuki has learned a small bit of french from their sister and uses it exclusively to teach rui and an how to swear in french
-emu still celebrates her grandfather’s birthday, even if he’s not there to celebrate with her
-ena is allergic to dogs, the middle point to airi’s cat allergy and akito’s dog phobia
-rui has various small scars from his experiments over the years, but nobody ever believes the real causes (rocket launcher, robot bite, exploding balloon animal, etc.) so he just makes up a new cause every time someone asks
-mmj! has had repeated incidents of minori and airi’s little siblings walking into frame when streaming at their houses. shiho understands the concept of a livestream but has still been caught failing at creeping past like that one new broadcast of the guy crawling along the floor
-kanade has pots & eds, this one I have a reason for look at her symptoms. chronic exhaustion, heat and cold intolerance, comorbid sleep issues and depression, dizziness when standing up, fainting after standing up, very pale skin, family history of medical issues, pain at normal physical activities, exercise intolerance, vertigo at mild exertion, she just fucking dies during the entire baseball event, I could go on. she canonically gets pain in her hands from opening a jar girl that is not just being out of shape that is physical disability. this one I will go conspiracy board on listen to me I’m right
-kohane ate bugs as a kid. an is horrified, toya is confused, akito is impressed
-ena and airi got in trouble in middle school because they’d keep starting fist fights in defense of the others honor. if they saw the other in a fight they’d jump in guns blazing no hesitation no questions ask ready to throw the fuck down
-vbs!rin and len were given a skateboard by an and then promptly had the skateboard confiscated by meiko for property destruction
-haruka is horrible with slang. she asks the stream chat what poggers means and immediately uses it completely wrong, killing all viewers on impact
-minori is torn between thinking it’s cute and wanting to die
-toya has been banned from arcades before because he made them lose too much money/they suspected he was cheating
-ena brought kanade over for girls night and nearly scared akito half to death because he went down to get a late night snack and there was some Ghastly Creature looming in his kitchen
-kohane's parents stick out like a sore thumb when going to her live shows. it mortifies her that everyone on vivid street can recognize them as the only milquetoast middle aged couple dressed in normal clothes loudly going YOU'RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE that don't know the first thing about music
-minori knows basic programming. she mostly uses it for forums, blogs, html, other web design things usually related to idols as a hobby, but she's become the groups designated anti-shizuku tech support
-mafuyu has always been able to see ghosts but after adults figured she was just playing pretend as a kid so she shrugged and figured it was normal and not worth bringing up again
-honami has one of those massive extended families and somehow keeps track of them all. at any given time cousin #57 can crawl out of the woodwork and she remembers their new job, favorite food, past three romantic relationships and list of allergic reactions
-mizuki does doll customizing as a hobby. they prefer making human sized clothes, but it's fun to make them miniature too. they've introduced shizuku to it and she loves it, but doesn't have the heart to do anything that would hurt the doll (sawing limbs off, dunking them in boiling water, shoving wires in them, etc.)
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txttletale · 1 year
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Hi! Do you think you could link me to some resources about the problems/ evils of the EU? Would love to find some but it's hard to know what's reliable when I have no base knowledge in this area + you seem very well informed :)
sure. let's start with what the EU does to its own member states--in 2009, the EU bailed the greek government out of severe debt on the condition that they establish brutal austerity measures, cutting public spending and welfare. these measures served to immiserate and destroy the lives of thousands of greek people:
Greek mortality has worsened significantly since the beginning of the century. In 2000, the death rate per 100,000 people was 944.5. By 2016, it had risen to 1174.9, with most of the increase taking place from 2010 onwards.
[forbes]
Since the implementation of the austerity programme, Greece has reduced its ratio of health-care expenditure to GDP to one of the lowest within the EU, with 50% less public hospital funding in 2015 than in 2009. This reduction has left hospitals with a deficit in basic supplies, while consumers are challenged by transient drug shortages.
[the lancet]
The homeless population is thought to have grown by 25 per cent since 2009, now numbering 20,000 people.
[oxfam]
the most brutal treatment, however, the EU of course reserves for migrants from the global south. the EU sets strict migration quotas and uses its member states as weapons against desperate people fleeing across the mediterranean. boats are prevented from landing, migrants that do make it to land are repelled with brutal violence, and refugees are deported back to countries where their lives are in lethal danger. these policies have led to many, many deaths--and the refugees and migrants who do survive are treating fucking inhumanely.
After a perilous journey across the desert, Abdulaziz was locked up in Triq al-Sikka, a grim prison in Tripoli, Libya. Why? Because the EU pays Libyan militias millions of euros to detain anyone deemed a possible migrant to Europe [...] A leaked EU internal memorandum in 2020 acknowledged that capturing migrants was now “a profitable business model” [...] in Triq al-Sikka and other detention centres, “acts of murder, enslavement, torture, rape and other inhumane acts are committed against migrants”, observed a damning UN report.
[the guardian]
Volunteers have logged more than 27,000 deaths by drowning since 1993, often hundreds at a time when large ships capsize. These account for nearly 80% of all the entries.
[the guardian]
Refugees and asylum seekers were punched, slapped, beaten with truncheons, weapons, sticks or branches, by police or border guards who often removed their ID tags or badges, the committee said in its annual report. People on the move were subject to pushbacks, expulsion from European states, either by land or sea, without having asylum claims heard. Victims were also subject to “inhuman and degrading treatment”, such as having bullets fired close to their bodies while they lay on the ground, being pushed into rivers, sometimes with hands tied, or being forced to walk barefoot or even naked across a border.
[the guardian]
In September, Greece opened a refugee camp on the island of Samos that has been described as prison-like. The €38m (£32m) facility for 3,000 asylum seekers has military-grade fencing and CCTV to track people’s movements. Access is controlled by fingerprint, turnstiles and X-rays. A private security company and 50 uniformed officers monitor the camp. It is the first of five that Greece has planned; two more opened in November.
[the guardian]
i could go on. i could cite dozens more similarly brutal news stories about horrific mistreatment, or any of the dozens of people who have killed themselves in the custody of border police under horrific conditions. the EU is a murderous institution that does not care about the lives of refugees and migrants or about the lives of the citizens of any member state that is not pursuing a vicious enough neoliberal political program
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Reach for me in the dark (and I will always take your hand)
carry me slowly, my sunlight (these colours, they fade for you only) - series masterlist here
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pairing: damian wayne x reader (gender neutral)
length: 1.7k
genre: fluff, hurt/comfort
warnings:  reader and damian experiencing positive emotion for the first time, they're in loooove and they're bad at it
a/n: alright alright back again
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The streets of Gotham, you begin to realize, are similar to home in all the wrong ways. Shadows creeping around corners, the glint of a knife blade and the click of a gun echoing through the alleyways, a maze of winding passages that lead you deeper, deeper, down until you're lost. You'd heard Damian speak of the city before, about the life in it, the thrumming heartbeat that leads him further in.
Now, though, experiencing it on your own, it's something else entirely. Gotham is just like home in all the right ways - in the way that it twists around you and ties you there, making sure you never leave. Damian loves this city, has grown to look down on it with fondness. Every night that you join him for patrol, you find yourself getting a bit closer to feeling the same way.
On this particular night, you're separated from him, the two of you splitting up to sniff out a trail of clues, to hunt down a gaggle of inexperienced, sloppy criminals. It's easy work, nights like this - the two of you have honed your skills far beyond this. It had confused you, then, when he'd gripped your face between his hands and let his forehead thump against yours, asking you to promise to be careful - to return to him safely.
It had confused you because… hadn't you always? And since when did Damian Al Ghul worry about the safety of others, the security of the fighters around him? Did he think you were incapable? Yes, these streets are not your own yet, but the heft of your sword in your palm is the same as it always was, the sturdiness of your steps reliable and constant. Damian should know, by now, that you don't have to be careful - that the two of you have already moved beyond that. 
Perhaps it was because you were so deep in thought, mulling over everything that had changed between the two of you, that you didn't notice the flicker of a moving shadow, the movement ahead of you until the gun was already raised and fired. Your instincts, thankfully, aren't so frazzled as your mind and your sword knows how to block a bullet even in this strange place. 
By the time you're bracing yourself to retaliate, though, Robin himself has already swooped in, slamming a knee into the chest of your assailant hard enough to knock him over. You click your tongue disapprovingly and move forward as Robin incapacitates the man swiftly, making sure he's unconscious and cuffing his hands behind his back.
"There was no reason for you to step in," you begin to say. "You weren't even supposed to be here. We said we'd go different directions and -" But anything you were planning on saying after that is knocked out of your chest as Robin moves to you quickly, crushing you against him in a hug as he wraps his arms around you, one tight around your waist and the other cupping the back of your head so that your face is planted in his chest.
It's… a shock, to say the least. Damian is reserved, even now, with his displays of affection, preferring to keep them away from prying eyes and in the safety and privacy of the Manor. You're not sure what's happening so you just… let it happen, wrapping your arms around his waist and relaxing against him.
"Don't ever do that again," he says breathlessly, his lips pressed against the crown of your head. 
"What? Don't, Dam - Robin, what are you talking about?" You do pull back then, just enough to look at him, cupping his face in your hands so that you can stare into his mask. You can't see his eyes beyond it, but you don't need to to know the wild look in them, the panic and aggression that seeps into them. "Robin," you say again - firmly, this time. "Talk to me."
"You need to learn how to dodge," is all he offers in response.
"What?"
"You can't block every bullet like that. You need to learn to dodge them."
"Is… that what you're upset about?" You ask tentatively, still staring at him, searching his masked face for any sort of clue. You're used to this, thankfully, to hidden faces and hushed whispers, to the two of you dancing around the truth and holding back what you mean. "Are you… worried about me?"
Robin says nothing, but his grip on you tightens and his gaze flickers to the criminal still laying unconscious behind the two of you.
"You don't have to be - you shouldn't be," you continue. "Nothing's changed. We still -" But Damian pulls away from you then, speaking into his earpiece as he stares at you.
"Oracle? I need you to send someone here. I need… some cleanup. And someone to cover us for the rest of the night. Yes, both of us. We're going back to the Cave… No, it's nothing, don't - don't check the security footage, just…" You can hear it through your own earpiece, too, of course, Oracle having a bit too much fun with teasing Damian before she agrees. 
Red Robin cuts in with a, "yea, yea, I'm on my way Rob, you two go home and sort it out." That's all it really takes for Robin to grab you by the hand, pulling you with him back towards the Cave.
The journey back is… silent. Startingly so. It's not uncommon for the two of you to share silence, but this feels different - this feels charged, like there's a tension in the air so dense that you can almost taste it. It's not until you're back in the safety of the Cave that Damian speaks again, peeling off his mask and watching as you do the same.
"I won't lose you," is all he says. You cock your head to the side as you look at him.
"You… won't, Damian. I don't know why you think you will."
"Because you're reckless and it's going to get you killed." Behind you, Bruce pauses his typing on the Batcomputer, a tap on his shoulder from Alfred and a nod to the exit leading him to get up quietly, throwing a look of concern over his shoulder as he gives the two of you a moment of privacy. You cross your arms and give Damian a hard look.
"I am not reckless. I know what I'm capable of. You've never before shown any kind of issue with my skill." Damian balls his hands into fists as he listens, that tension that you once felt growing even more, crackling like static between the two of you.
"I'm asking you not to take any more hits. You don't need to withstand every moment of violence, you just have to avoid them," he says calmly, a strained levelness in his voice. Your frown deepens at his words, though.
"Are we not equal anymore? Do you not… trust me anymore? Trust that I can take these kinds of hits?" There's a sort of smallness in you now, at the thought that Damian doesn't think you're as sturdy as you once were - that, now, when he can finally lean on you, he doesn't seem to think you're worth leaning on anymore. But he sighs at your words, stepping forward as he tugs the gloves off of his hands impatiently so that he can cup your cheeks in his palms once more, letting you both feel skin on skin. As he brushes his thumbs over the skin under your eyes softly, he looks at you, and you feel a bit guilty when you're surprised that there's nothing but love, nothing but adoration in his gaze.
"My love, there is no one that I trust the way that I trust you. But there is also no one that I need the way that I need you." Damian speaks gently, his voice soft in that way that you know is reserved only for you. "This is no longer a life where you have to brace for every impact. You're allowed to step out of the path of destruction. You're allowed to walk away from danger."
You sigh at his words, leaning forward to let your forehead thump against his chest as his arms wrap around you, one of his hands going up to the back of your head once more to stroke through your hair. You let your hands grab fistfuls of his Robin uniform as he rests his chin on the top of your head, The R insignia staring down at you from his chest, a beacon of something more than the two of you, more than the violence of your survival.
"I've just finally got you back, beloved," Damian continues quietly. "I will not lose you now, not again."
"You won't, Damian," you assure, and there's a bit more conviction in it this time, a bit more assuredness as you pull back to look up at him. "There is no grave that could keep me from you, no fate that could take me away." Damian closes his eyes at that, tilting his head back for a moment as if to let your words sink further in, to engrave them into his soul and keep them there.
"You will be more careful," he says firmly as he looks back down at you. "And you will call for me when you need help."
"And when you need help?" You say back stubbornly. "What will you do then?"
"Then, my love, I will call for you - as I always have. That is inevitable, you should know… that it will always be you I reach for in the dark." You huff at his words, a weak distraction from the heat in your face as you bury yourself back against his chest, listening to his heartbeat thump against your ear.
"Fine then," you say firmly. "Reach for me. I will take your hand."
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witchywithwhiskey · 5 months
Text
trucker prince charming (part 2)
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pairing: trucker!jake jensen x sex worker!female reader
summary: you take your favorite trucker up on his offer to meet him at his rig after you finish your shift at the strip club where you work—and it's better than you imagined, which means you're in trouble.
warnings: 18+ content (minors do not interact!!!), smut, piv sex, unprotected sex, creampie, condom discussion, dry humping, marking/hickeys, finger sucking, begging, teasing, dirty talk, praise kink, pet names (kitten), sex worker insecurities, referenced glory hole sex, referenced abuse of power, love confession, a lot of emotions—let me know if i missed something!
word count: 9.5k
a/n: god i hope this chapter works 🫣 i struggled with it a bit, to make reader's reluctance consistent and believable. but i also wanted to to be like super romantic, so yeah, i hope it is!!! ahhh ok please enjoy more trucker jake—i hope y'all love him as much as i do!!!
trucker king masterlist
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Excitement and fear roiled in the pit of your stomach, making you feel slightly queasy as you shoved your cash tips from the night into your purse in the back room of Diesel Dolls. In fact, you were trembling so hard, if you’d been wearing a pair of the sky high heels you wore when you worked the stage, you’d be worried about breaking an ankle. But your thoughts were elsewhere, on the trucker who was absolutely not your prince charming. 
As you gathered your things, all you could think about was your favorite trucker who visited you often in the glory holes at the back of the club. Jake Jensen was everything you shouldn’t want. He was one of Diesel Dolls’ most reliable regulars, always stopping by the glory holes when he passed by on the interstate—though, ever since he’d started coming to you, you were the only one he’d let take care of him.
Still, his status as a regular made any kind of outside relationship with him strictly off-limits according to the owner of the club, Mr. Ransom Drysdale. 
Mr. Drysdale didn’t take kindly to girls who formed relationships with his trucker clientele outside the club, he said it was too much of a risk of the girl stealing his business. And if Mr. Drysdale suspected anything, he was known for his harsh, humiliating punishments. He wouldn’t fire you if he found out you were planning to meet up with Jake after your shift, but he’d find a creative way for you to regret it.
Even with that thought in your mind, you couldn’t get Jake’s parting words out of your head. You kept hearing his friendly, sweet and deliciously deep voice saying to you, “I’m sleeping in my rig tonight…in case you wanna stop by.” 
Those had been the final words he’d spoken to you when he’d come to your spot at the glory holes earlier that evening, but he’d left before you could respond to the obvious offer. A part of you was grateful he hadn’t demanded an answer from you in the moment, since it meant you could think it over without any pressure from him. But it also meant that, hours later, you were still uncertain about what you were going to do. 
You were still debating it with yourself when you threw on a long jacket to cover the skimpy tank top and shorts you wore when working the glory holes, and walked out the back door of Diesel Dolls. There, you stopped short. 
In your preoccupation with Jake, you’d forgotten what to expect when leaving the club. A few of the other girls lingered outside smoking cigarettes and chatting with the security guards tasked with walking you and your coworkers to your cars. There was a bite of chill in the air that had you wrapping your coat tighter around your body while you wavered in indecision, the audience making you more anxious about what to do.
“Need a cig, girl?” asked Crystal, one of the girls that had been working at Diesel Dolls even longer than you. She held out her pack to you, her own cigarette pinched between two fingers, the smoke trailing up toward the late night sky. Her eyes were sharp as they watched you, even if her open expression seemed to be nice.
You gave Crystal a tight smile and shook your head, muttering, “No thanks.” You could feel Crystal’s eyes on you as you took two steps into the parking lot, which made the fear in your chest burn brighter than the excitement Jake’s offer had inspired.
Crystal liked to make herself out to be the motherly one of the bunch who worked at the club, the kind who would give advice to the new girls and commiserate with those who’d been working at Diesel Dolls too long. But you’d noticed the way things that seemed to only be said to Crystal had a way of getting back to Mr. Drysdale. That was enough to have your shoulders bunching up around your ears.
Crystal was the last person you wanted to see you walking to Jake’s truck. But you didn’t want to give up on him yet. You’d known Jake for a couple months while he’d been frequenting your glory hole, and you were so desperately curious about him, that you didn’t want to pass up on the opportunity. So you pulled out your phone and pretended to be texting someone while you hoped the group outside the back door dispersed.
Thankfully, they all seemed to finish up soon enough and Crystal went back inside while the security guards split up to walk the other girls to their cars. You waved them off when they offered to walk you as well, claiming you had a ride coming and waited until they rounded the side of the building to where most of the girls parked their cars.
For a brief moment, you were alone with nothing but the clear night air and your thoughts. You knew it was a bad idea to go to Jake, but the pull you felt to him was too strong. It was bound to get you into some kind of trouble, whether with Mr. Drysdale or something you couldn’t even anticipate. You typically prided yourself in having a great deal of sense, but everything about your favorite trucker made you want to act like you didn’t have any. 
Before you’d even fully made up your mind, your feet began to carry you in the direction you knew you’d be able to find him. For once, your heart seemed to be making the decisions and though your brain was still listing all the ways in which things could go wrong—Jake could be horrid in person, or he could fuck you and go around the club bragging about it—they didn’t seem as important as finally finding out what it would feel like to fall into your favorite trucker’s arms. 
Diesel Dolls had a small parking lot in front and to one side of the building, but on the other side, there was a much bigger parking lot that the strip club shared with Everett’s Roadhouse. It was big enough to accommodate all the truckers and their rigs who frequented both the club and the bar. It also had special permissions that allowed the truckers to sleep there over night. 
It was to this parking lot that your feet carried you. 
You breathed a sigh of relief when you were swallowed up by the shadows of the massive trucks in the parking lot, your soft exhale masking the sound of the back door of Diesel Dolls closing. You didn’t hear it, though, because you were too focused on looking for the truck Jake had described to you.
Turning a corner around a big white rig, you spotted the truck that could only belong to your favorite trucker. And standing in front of it, leaning against the grill at the front, was a man. Your heart leapt in your chest as you realized it could only be him. Your favorite trucker. Your Jakey. 
Your breath caught in your throat and your feet stumbled to a stop. He hadn’t noticed you yet, and you took the moment to look him over, greedily raking your eyes down his body while he stared at something on his phone. 
Jake looked tall, even from the little bit of distance between you, with broad shoulders that filled out the bright green t-shirt he wore, which had some kind of graphic printed on the front. His jeans were a basic blue denim that fit him a little snugly, and he wore work boots that were kicking idly at the pavement of the parking lot, like he was struggling to be patient.
But what caught your attention the most about Jake was his face. You were a little surprised to discover that Jake wore glasses, but that was maybe because you’d never seen another trucker who wore them. You stared at his side profile for a long time, appreciating his strong jaw accented by the goatee framing his soft mouth. His dark hair lightened at the spiky tips, and for some reason, you found yourself craving to touch it, to run your hands through it.
All at once, you realized you’d been right about Jake—he was cute. And not just cute, he was fucking hot. You’d never seen a man who could pull off both, but your favorite trucker managed it. 
Your heart thudded in your chest and if you’d been thinking with anything but your heart, you’d have been worried about your reaction to the man who you knew you couldn’t be with. But you were only admiring your favorite trucker and thinking about how cute he looked waiting for you.
You didn’t realize you’d been slowly drifting closer to Jake until he straightened suddenly, and looked straight at you. Your breath froze in your lungs when you met his gaze, startling at the bright blue of his eyes, even shadowed as they were in the dim light of the parking lot. Your feet came to an abrupt stop and you waited anxiously while Jake took his own inspection of you, hoping desperately that he wouldn’t find you lacking.
But there was no long perusal of your body, only brief moment when eh let his gaze drop to your lips before he caught your eye again. A charmingly friendly grin spread across his handsome face, excitement rolling off him in waves that made you feel giddy.
“Kitten?” he asked, a little hesitantly. Almost like he was a little shy. 
If you hadn’t already been certain the man was Jake, his voice would’ve convinced you. It was warm and pleasantly deep, sending a delicious shiver of recognition down your spine, heat blooming in the depth of your core. A small, tentative smile curved the edges of your mouth as you walked closer to your favorite trucker, noticing that he stayed near his truck and let you come to him. 
“Jake,” you said, his name gusting past your lips in an awed exhale. He looked even more handsome up close, and your eyes couldn’t stop taking in the lines and curves of his face. You didn’t think you’d ever get enough of simply looking at him.
“You came.” He stated the obvious, his voice low and gruff with an emotion that tugged at something deep inside your chest. You were drawn in closer to your favorite trucker by some invisible tether that seemed to connect the two of you. So wrapped up in the moment, you didn’t even question why you felt so deeply for a man you were only truly meeting for the first time.
You came to a stop right in front of Jake, close enough you had to tilt your head back to hold his gaze—close enough you could feel the heat of him in the chilly night air. You wanted to press even closer and wrap yourself around the big, broad man, but you held yourself back, suddenly unsure how to act without a wall of plywood between you. 
“You’re cuter than I imagined,” you said, the words falling from your lips before you could stop them, amazement making your voice breathy.
But as soon as the words registered in your mind, you winced and pressed a hand over your mouth. You were about to apologize for the backhanded compliment when Jake laughed huskily, a little bit of pink tinging his cheeks, which only made him look even cuter.
“Ya think I’m cute, kitten?” he asked, his fingers reaching out and brushing against yours, electricity zinging through your body at just that brief touch. 
Your breath hitched as your body went haywire, desire flooding through your veins and making you sway into your favorite trucker. Jake seemed to notice your reaction because a grin spread across his face and he tangled his fingers with yours while he kept talking.
“Not hot, or sexy—or studly?” His voice went much deeper on that last word to emphasize it, and you couldn’t help the startled giggle that fled from your lips. You’d suspected Jake was funny, and you were delighted to discover you were right about that too.
Jake used the moment when your guard was down to pull you into his arms, where you landed against his chest with a small huff of surprise. Immediately, your laughter died in your throat and you stared up into Jake’s eyes while he watched you with a pleased smile curling the edges of his mouth.
The thought came to you suddenly: You could fall in love with Jake Jensen. In fact, you knew, somehow, that it would be as easy as breathing to fall in love with Jake. A small part of you even thought you already were falling in love with your favorite trucker. 
But as soon as you had those thoughts, you pushed them away, the fear you’d felt earlier rearing its ugly head. You couldn’t fall in love with Jake, not when you knew you’d never be able to be with him in the way you wanted. Developing feelings for him would only lead to getting hurt and you didn’t think you’d survive the kind of hurt falling love with Jake would lead to. So you forced yourself not to think about it.
Instead, you let yourself act on instinct. You reached up and traced your fingertips gently down the side of Jake’s face, your touch so light you weren’t sure if he could even feel it. But when you got to the plump curve of his lower lip, he sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes darkening as he stared down at you so intensely, your hand fell away to fist in the soft cotton of his t-shirt.
“I don’t meet a lot of cute guys in my line of work,” you whispered, the words part explanation, part distraction from the way Jake was looking at you like he planned to grab you and kiss you and never let you go. “It’s…” you trailed off, not knowing where you were going with that thought.
No, that was a lie, you knew exactly where you were going, you just got scared to continue it. But Jake was patient, and he waited, his gaze expectant, and you discovered you didn’t want to let him down—either with an attempt to change the subject or with a lie.
“It’s amazing,” you said, so softly, you weren’t sure he’d be able to hear. “You’re amazing, Jakey.” Your eyes fell to his lips, looking so soft and inviting. Your favorite trucker’s mouth was so tempting, and you knew you’d never be the same once he kissed you, which scared you more than a little, your heart thudding almost painfully in your chest.
Thankfully, Jake was brave enough for the both of you. 
His arms wound around your waist, knees bending to wrap you up in his hold and haul you up close to his chest, so you were left standing on tiptoes and staring up into his beautiful blue eyes. He lowered his face until your mouths were so close, you could taste the sharp mint of his breath on your tongue, but he didn’t close the distance. 
Your heart was racing with excitement and a little bit of fear, and you could feel Jake’s arousal through your clothes, but the tension of the moment was delicious and you didn’t mind if Jake wanted to take things a little slow. At least, for the moment.
“Fuck, kitten,” he rumbled, collapsing back against the grill of his truck while he stared at you with amazement in his blue eyes. “I’ll take cute as a compliment if you’re the one saying it,” he said, his voice pitched low and earnest. Your fingers twisted in his shirt, clinging to him as you watched the edges of his mouth curve into a grin. “Hell, you can call me a cute little pup and I’ll roll over so you can pet my belly.”
Jake’s arms squeezed you tightly, holding you pinned to his chest, and a distant part of you was surprised by the fact that you didn’t feel trapped by him. You felt impossibly giddy with happiness and excitement, warmth curling pleasantly through your body as you pressed tighter against him, feeling his hard cock digging into your stomach. He was so eager for you, and it was so hot because you wanted him just as badly, but you couldn’t help teasing him a little.
“I think puppy wants something more than belly rubs,” you murmured, a smirk curling your lips. You lifted one of your feet to rest on the grill of Jake’s truck, opening your legs to grind your core against his bulge, wringing a groan out of him, his hands fisting in the jacket at your back. 
“Mm, you feel so fucking good,” he rumbled in a husky voice, then paused, pulling back enough to catch your eye. He wore an adorably confused expression. “Hang on, are you calling me or my dick ‘puppy’?”
Jake’s question startled you so much, laughter burst free from your mouth unbidden; you had to tip your head back and close your eyes to let it loose. It was the hardest you’d laughed in a very long time, your body shaking in Jake’s arms and tears springing to the corners of your eyes. 
You could feel Jake chuckling right along with you, but when you finally sobered, he’d quieted and was simply looking at you, an emotion in his eyes that was so deep and terrifying it nearly stole all the breath from your lungs.
“You have the best laugh,” Jake muttered seconds before his mouth descended on yours, capturing your lips in a kiss. 
Your first kiss with Jake was everything you’d dreamed it would be, your body lighting up and your mind going blank in a combination of delight and arousal. His mouth was warm and soft on yours, the bristles of his goatee tickling your cheeks as your mouths slid together. A giggle rose in your throat and your mouth curved in a smile as giddiness flooded through you. 
Then Jake shifted his arms, one hand coming up to cradle your head while the other remained banded around your lower back, holding you exactly where he wanted you. He deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping past your lips and coaxing a moan from you as he explored the depths of your mouth. Jake’s kiss was heady and all-consuming and you never wanted it to end—you wanted to kiss him forever and ever and ever.
By the time Jake pulled away, your lungs were burning for air and you were left panting, dragging in as much oxygen as you could. He seemed to be in much the same predicament, his chest expanding where you were draped against it, his heart beating wildly beneath where your fingers were clinging to his t-shirt.
“So, you got a bed in that big rig of yours,” you managed to ask, in between panting breaths. “Or are you planning to fuck me right here against your truck?” A cheeky grin curved your lips and you ground your core against Jake again for good measure, making his eyes go dazed and dark. His hands grabbed your ass and held you tight against his bulge while he seemed to freeze. 
For a long moment, Jake just stared at you like his brain had short-circuited, and your grin widened at the realization that you’d somehow managed to render your favorite trucker speechless. Then, all of a sudden, he seemed to come back online and he shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. 
Tangling his fingers with yours, Jake led you around to the driver’s side of his rig and opened the door, helping you up into the cab. You took a quick, cursory look around the inside of Jake’s truck as you moved directly into the backseat, where there was a soft cot covered in a haphazard pile of blankets. The bed was messy and unkempt in a way that made you smile because it just seemed so much like Jake.
Looking around, you noted that the truck cab was warm, and a little cluttered, but cozy in its own way. You’d never actually seen the inside of a long-haul truck despite servicing countless drivers at Diesel Dolls, but everything looked so high tech, you would’ve thought you were in the cockpit of a spaceship. All the dials and controls on the dashboard gave off a soft blue light, including some of the panels in the backseat around Jake’s bed. 
When you looked closer, there appeared to be a gaming system and TV rigged up in the back, and you smiled again, imagining your favorite trucker spending his spare time gaming by himself. You couldn’t help the way your mind wandered, wondering if Jake might be interested in letting you keep his cock warm while he played his games…
You were distracted from that thought by Jake hauling himself into the driver’s seat and shutting the door behind him. He had a determined look on his face while he locked the truck’s doors, checking to make sure the space was secure before he turned to you in the backseat. The corner of your mouth kicked up in a sultry grin and you leaned back on your hands, pushing your tits out as your jacket parted, revealing the tiny crop top and shorts you wore beneath it.
In the privacy of his truck, Jake let his eyes wander down your body, lingering on the way your nipples pushed through the thin cotton of your shirt. They tightened further under the intensity of his gaze, and your lips parted in a gasping breath as heat blazed between your thighs. 
But Jake’s eyes were already moving on, his gaze roving over the curves of your waist and hips and down to the plush softness of your thighs. You could almost feel his gaze like a lingering touch as he looked at your body properly for the first time. If you’d had a chance to feel at all insecure about whether he’d like your curves, the way Jake’s pupils blew wide with lust would’ve quelled it. 
Jake spent long moments simply looking at you and, after you’d taken your own moment to get your fill of him before he’d noticed you in the parking lot, you tried to be patient. But the way your body was responding to just Jake’s eyes on you made you squirm on the bed, your thighs falling open of their own accord in a wordless offering for your favorite trucker. Finally, your impatience won out.
“Now that you’ve got me in your truck,” you murmured in a husky purr, smiling seductively when Jake’s eyes met yours again. “What do you plan on doing with me?” You shifted your shoulders, letting your jacket slip down your arms in a way that you hoped was enticing enough to make him want to rip it off you entirely.
Jake’s eyes darted to your bare shoulders then back to your face before he moved from his seat, prowling toward you in a way that looked more predatory than you would’ve expected from your sweet and friendly trucker. The intensity of his gaze on you sent a thrill through your body that only heightened as he eased closer, his hands sliding beneath your jacket to grab your hips roughly. 
Holding your gaze captive with his own, Jake eased you down onto your back until you were laying in his bed, his big body covering yours. Your lungs were struggling for air, little panting breaths slipping past your lips as you followed Jake’s lead, a part of you surprised by how easy it was to give in to your favorite trucker’s whims. But you trusted him—you trusted him in a way that was probably unwise, and it occurred to you yet again that being with your trucker could lead to serious trouble for you.
But then you were laying down in Jake’s soft bed, his broad shoulders and beautiful blue eyes blocking out the rest of the world, and your worries miraculously faded—helped by the fact that Jake decided to finally answer your question.
“I’ve thought about this so many times, kitten,” Jake rasped, his tone raw with emotion that had your heart racing in your chest.
There was a vulnerability in Jake’s words, and you couldn’t help but reach for him, cupping his handsome face in your hands. A soft smile played at the edges of your mouth, but it deepened when Jake leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttering closed while he nuzzled into your palms. It took a moment for him to gather his thoughts enough to continue. 
“I’ve thought about getting you in my bed so many times, I can barely believe this is real,” Jake mumbled, the words sounding like they were wrenched straight from his heart. You could feel your own heart thump in response, a little bit of fear trickling through your body that you decided to ignore. “I plan to do everything with you kitten,” Jake murmured, opening his eyes and pinning you with his fervent gaze. “But most of all, I plan to keep you.”
Your breath froze in your lungs at Jake’s pronouncement, and fear flooded your heart. It was on the tip of your tongue to tell Jake it was impossible—he couldn’t keep you, not while you still worked at Diesel Dolls. Not while Mr. Drysdale still owned you.
Your entire livelihood was dependent on Mr. Drysdale and Diesel Dolls. He was the only one who’d hired you when you’d come to town. And, despite all his faults, Mr. Drysdale paid well—well enough that you could support yourself. If Jake jeopardized your job at Diesel Dolls, you’d have to become dependent on him to take care of you, and you didn’t know yet if he was the kind of man who’d do that, though the part of you that was falling love with him told you that he would.
It surprised you—and scared you—how much you wanted to give your heart and soul and everything to Jake. You yearned for him in a way you never had for any other man. You felt almost desperate for your favorite trucker to be true to his word, to keep you and take care of you and make you his in every possible way. 
But you had too much sense to let yourself fall into Jake’s arms completely just yet. So you reminded yourself that your life was not a fairytale, and Jake wasn’t your prince charming. No matter how much you might want him to be. Jake was a trucker, and if you knew one thing about truckers, it was that eventually, they always leave. It wasn’t worth risking your entire life for the chance of a happily ever after with him, even if your heart yearned for it.
So, while you wanted to believe Jake meant what he said—that he was going to keep you—you simply couldn’t allow yourself to. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy the time you had with him, no matter how brief it would have to be. Pulling him down for a soft kiss, you murmured against his lips.
“Do anything you want with me,” you whispered, eagerly giving your body to your favorite trucker, even as you held back from giving him your heart. “Wanna feel your cock inside me so bad, please, Jake,” you begged, muffling a whimper as you kissed his jaw.  
If Jake knew you were holding part of yourself back, he didn’t show it. Instead, he captured your lips in a fierce kiss, his hands roaming all over your body, ripping off your jacket and tossing it into the front seat. As his tongue plunged into your mouth, he tugged off the rest of your clothes, leaving you bare beneath him before he pulled away to yank his shirt off over his head.
The movement knocked Jake’s glasses askew and you giggled at the sight of him, leaning up to nip at his jaw to stop yourself from calling him cute again. He huffed an impatient laugh and took his glasses off, tucking them into a compartment above your head. 
Even in the dim light of the backseat, Jake was still so attractive it took your breath away just looking at him. You couldn’t help yourself from pulling his face close to yours so you could kiss him sweetly. 
“So handsome, Jakey,” you murmured against his mouth, wanting so badly to tell him how much you liked him. You settled for wrapping your legs around his hips and grinding your bare core against the bulge in his jeans. “Look so fucking hot with glasses,” you said, pausing only to kiss him again before continuing, “and just as hot without them.”
Jake chuckled huskily, his hips pressing into yours to grind his bulge against your cunt, making you gasp while he kissed along your jaw. “What happened to calling me cute?” he murmured teasingly, nipping at the lobe of your ear and laughing again when you squirmed beneath him.
“You’re still cute,” you admitted on a gasp, humping against Jake from under his large body, trying desperately to get the friction you needed against your sopping wet pussy. “And handsome and hot and—god you’re everything, Jakey,” you cried, your desire driving you to grind harder against him, your body writhing like a cat in heat. “I need you, please!”
“Alright, alright,” Jake rumbled placatingly, easing your hips back down against the bed and untangling your legs from around his hips so he could undo his jeans. 
The loss of contact made you whine impatiently, and if need wasn’t blazing through you so hotly you would’ve wondered about what Jake had reduced you to—a needy creature so desperate for him that you were whining—but you didn’t care, you just wanted him. Jake kissed your cheek to mollify you while he fumbled with his jeans.
“Fuck, kitten,” he rasped, pressing his forehead to yours and taking a deep breath to settle his shaking hands. “I’ve never met a woman who wanted me so bad.”
An anger you didn’t want to analyze too closely surged through your body at Jake’s statement. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you buried your hands in his hair and pressed hot kisses to his cheeks, his temple, his forehead, anywhere you could reach.
“All the women you’ve met are fucking idiots then,” you snarled, tugging Jake’s head to the side so you could kiss down the strong column of his neck. It wasn’t like you to say such things about other women, but you couldn’t even fathom not wanting Jake with a desperation that clawed through your body. Before you could stop yourself, your lips latched onto Jake’s neck and you began sucking on his skin, intent on leaving your mark on your favorite trucker.
“Fuck, jesus fuck,” Jake groaned, shuddering at the feeling of you sucking on his neck. His hands were shaking again, but he managed to push his jeans and boxers down, kicking them off as fast as he could manage in the tight confines of the backseat. 
Then, finally, his cock was free, and you reached for it eagerly with a familiarity that came from sucking him off so many times in the glory holes at Diesel Dolls. You stroked him with an eagerness like greeting an old friend, reacquainting yourself with the part of Jake’s body you knew best. His cock was just as perfect as always and all the desires you’d felt earlier that night came rushing back.
“Wanna worship your cock with my mouth, Jakey,” you murmured in his ear, your fingers stroking his stiff length slowly, teasingly, pausing briefly to smack your pussy with the tip and making both of your groan in pleasure. “You have the most perfect cock I’ve ever seen,” you confessed in a breathy whisper, your lips pressing kisses to Jake’s neck just beneath his ear. “I wanna kiss you and lick you and suck you and make out with your balls, Jakey, god, I could spend hours just playing with your cock.”
Jake’s full body shuddered again, and you smirked against his neck, breathing in the fresh, clean scent of your favorite trucker and feeling yourself get wetter for him. But then Jake was pushing up and tilting his face to yours, capturing your lips in a searing kiss that stole your breath and stilled your hand.
“You have the hottest mouth, kitten,” Jake murmured when he pulled away, his hand cupping your cheek and dragging his thumb over your lower lip. 
You sucked his finger into your mouth and bobbed your head a little while staring up at him, hoping he’d see how eager you were and let you move down his body and worship him the way he deserved.
Instead, Jake’s other hand knocked yours away from his cock, fisting himself while you whined and pouted around his thumb. He chuckled, removing his thumb from your mouth so he could kiss you again.
“You can suck me off another time,” he promised, rubbing the tip of his dick between your soaked folds and making you shiver beneath him. “I gotta feel your cunt or I’m gonna go fucking crazy.” His voice lowered to a deep rumble, his words only turning you on more, as impossible as that seemed. “Gotta know if your pussy feels as good as I’ve always imagined.”
“Jakey, please,” you cried breathlessly, digging your knees into his sides and tilting your hips up to try to take his cock into your weeping hole. “Need you, need you,” you mumbled, humping against the tip of Jake’s dick, until a thought crashed into your mind. 
You’d never fucked anyone—at Diesel Dolls or in your personal life—without a condom. And you’d never forgotten to ask your partner to put one on. But you’d been about to take Jake’s bare cock into your unprotected cunt without even a second thought. 
It was chilling to realize just how much Jake affected you. You froze, your body tensing and pulling away as much as you could when you were laying beneath Jake in the small cot in the backseat of his truck.
Immediately, Jake took notice of your retreat, and he paused above you.
“What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly, pushing up on his arms so he could see your face fully. There was so much concern in his expression that you had to look away, reflexively shying away from the emotion in his gaze. You stared at his shoulder as you asked a question of your own.
“Do you want to use a condom?” you asked, forcing out the words in a rush, hoping Jake didn’t hear the insecurity in your voice. You knew some men thought you were ‘dirty’ because of your profession—you’d had more than enough of them say as much to your face—so you wanted to give Jake the option in case he later regretted not using protection with you. 
The part of you that liked Jake (which was growing by the minute), wanted to believe he didn’t think that way about you. After all, he’d met you in the glory holes at the back of Diesel Dolls, and had made you feel safe and respected even when there was a plywood wall between you. But you knew too well from experience that even if a man knew what you did for work, even if he’d visited you at Diesel Dolls, he might still secretly think of you in a certain way.
So you held your breath, cautious hope in your heart as you waited for Jake’s response to your question. 
He blinked once, then twice, his lips parted and his expression adorably confused while he processed your words. He even glanced down your bodies to see his bare cock resting against your pussy, and you weren’t certain what was going through his head, but you desperately wanted to know. When his gaze met yours again, he still looked concerned.
“Do you want to use a condom, kitten?” Jake asked, an anxious note in his tone. “Because I’ll find one if you do.” His eyes searched yours, but you were too stunned to respond because you’d realized something. Something life-altering.
Jake was the only man who ever asked you what you wanted. 
Maybe there had been others, long ago, before Diesel Dolls, but if there were, you couldn’t remember them. Jake was the first man in a long time to ask you what you wanted to do, if you wanted to use a condom. An overwhelming and terrifying emotion surged through your body, tying your tongue and rendering you speechless. 
Thankfully, Jake’s anxiousness at your silence prompted him to keep talking. He dropped his voice low, his expression going serious as he stared into your eyes. 
“If you want to know what I want, I thought I made myself clear earlier,” he rumbled, working his hips in tiny little circles that had his hard length slipping between your drenched folds and grinding lightly against your clit. “I don’t want anything between us—I want all of you, including your hot cunt wrapped around my bare cock.” 
A gasp fell from your lips as you tossed your head back, your eyes squeezing shut to quell the tears that were threatening to spill down your cheeks. “Jakey, yes, I want it—please,” you moaned in a broken, hoarse voice. Heat rose to your cheeks and, despite how turned on you were, you managed to feel a little embarrassed by how much emotion was in your voice when you said his name. Still, you couldn’t help the need you felt, and you pulled him close, feeling like nothing would be close enough. 
Jake dug his arms into the bed beneath your back, crushing you to his chest as he shifted his hips, lining up his cock with your hole and beginning to sink in while he shushed you. “I’m right here, kitten, ‘m not going anywhere,” he murmured soothingly in your ear. 
Your heart thudded in your chest and you were filled with an uneasy trepidation even as your legs spread wider around Jake’s broad body to take his cock deep into your cunt. You believed Jake. You believed he wasn’t going anywhere, and that scared you. But you didn’t have room in your mind to deal with that fear, not when he was sliding inside you, stretching your pussy to accomodate his thick length and pushing all your worries to the wayside. 
“Feel so good, kitten,” Jake rumbled in your ear when he bottomed out inside you. His lips found your neck and kissed your delicate skin, making you whimper for him. “Feels like you were made for me, like you were made to be mine, all mine.” He rocked his hips gently, fucking you in firm, short thrusts that you felt in the depths of your soul.
Jake’s words and the way he was fucking you—like he was making love to you—was too much. You wanted so badly to be his, to let yourself fall in love with him, but you knew it couldn’t be and that knowledge made you so despondent, you felt like you could cry. But you didn’t want to ruin the moment, so instead you pushed on Jake’s shoulder, urging him to roll onto his back. 
He did as you asked, rolling your bodies until he was laying flat on his back and you were straddling his hips, his cock still lodged deep inside you. The ceiling of the truck was high enough that you could sit up, so you did, pushing on Jake’s pecs to put some distance between you and your favorite trucker. You began to ride him with practiced movements, taking the opportunity to watch Jake. 
Your favorite trucker looked deliciously devastated beneath you, his blue eyes glazing over as you rose up and sank down on his fat dick. His soft lips were parted, his chest heaving with heavy breaths as you worked your hips in tiny circles, clenching down on his length and fucking him like the pro that you were. 
Jake stared at you like you were a goddess come to life and he’d be more than happy to bow at your feet, a dazed look of pleasure in his eyes as they roamed over your body. His gaze drifted down from your face, watching your tits bounce for him, then fixating on where your bodies joined. You could feel his gaze everywhere he looked, your body lighting up at his attention, which only made you ride him harder.
“Look so beautiful riding my cock, kitten,” Jake rumbled, seemingly having found his tongue. His hands fumbled over your body, gripping your hips and then your ass like he couldn’t decide which he wanted to touch more, squeezing you anywhere he could. “And you feel so fucking good—fuck, kitten, I want to keep you on my cock forever, just sitting pretty and keeping my cock warm while I’m driving, fuck, even when I’m sleeping.”
“Mm, Jake, don’t threaten me with a good time,” you murmured huskily, planting your hands on his chest and using the leverage to bounce your ass on his cock. You knew from past experience it made men lose their minds, and Jake was no different. 
His jaw clenched and his hands pawed at your plush curves, his eyes rolling back in his head as he let out a groan that sounded like he was being tortured. “Fuck, fuck, kitten, you feel so fucking good,” Jake rambled, his tongue loosening the closer he got to coming. “Your cunt feels better than I ever could’ve imagined, ‘m gonna come so hard in your pretty little kitty.”
“Do it, Jake,” you urged, even though a part of you didn’t want your first time with Jake to be over so soon. But you knew it was better this way. You’d get him off and make some excuse to leave and you could go home and get yourself off while Jake’s come was still leaking from your pussy. “Fill me up, wanna feel you flood my little hole with your come.”
“Oh fuck,” Jake groaned, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise as he held you and fucked up into you so furiously, you would’ve lost your balance if he hadn’t been holding on to you. “You’re perfect, you’re perfect, I—god, I love you, kitten.”
Every muscle in your body froze and you sucked in a sharp gasp at Jake’s confession, your mouth falling open in shock as you stared down at your favorite trucker. 
Men had said those words to you before. They’d whispered them into plywood walls while you sucked their cocks and moaned other girls’ names. They’d murmured them into your ear while you gave them a lap dance, promising you jewelry and bigger tips if you broke the rules and let them fuck you. They’d confessed them to you in a bid to keep you in relationships that were toxic. 
But you’d never heard them from a man who treated you with as much respect as Jake did. You’d never heard them from a man you wanted to hear them from. And god, you’d wanted Jake to say those words—maybe not so soon, but eventually—because you knew you were falling in love with him. And the fact that he’d said it meant he’d made it real.
And you were fucking terrified. 
Even with how close Jake was to coming, he felt the change in you immediately. For a moment, he just looked at you, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath, his cock still hard inside you. As he watched you, you got the distinct impression he could see how scared you were of those three little words he’d said. 
Trying to conceal your fear with anger, you contorted your face into a scowl and hissed, “Don’t say that to me.” 
Jake sat up at once, one of his arms banding around your back to hold you in place while the other cupped your face, his thumb tilting your chin up so he could pin you in place with the intensity of his gaze. 
“Do you think I didn’t mean it?” he asked, his voice gentle and gruff.
With his blue eyes piercing yours, it was difficult to lie, but you managed. “I’m sure you only meant it because I was riding your dick better than any other woman you’ve ever been with,” you spit out with far more bravado than you felt. 
Jake’s expression shifted and he almost—almost—looked angry. His grip on your chin tightened, though not anywhere near enough to hurt. His hand was firm, unyielding in a way you’d never seen from Jake before. 
“I’ve been in love with you since the first time you called me Jakey and told me I have a perfect dick,” he said, his tone daring you to challenge him. “I’ve loved you since before I saw this pretty face for the first time, kitten, and I know you feel something for me, too.”
Your heart was pounding in your chest, everything in your body telling you to flee, but Jake was holding you too tight so you huffed an exasperated sigh and rolled your eyes at your favorite trucker, pretending to be annoyed with him. 
“How d’you know I don’t tell everyone they have a perfect cock?” you asked in a nonchalant tone, your eyes cutting away from Jake’s as you shrugged. “Maybe I tell all my johns that so they’ll tip me better.
Jake’s expression softened, a grin spreading across his face, like he was amused by your antics. “And do you tell all your johns that you fantasize about their cocks while you touch yourself?” Jake asked, his tone almost teasing. “Do you finger yourself while you think about your other johns—or is it just me, kitten?”
Your mind flashed back to earlier that evening when Jake had visited you at the glory holes in Diesel Dolls and you’d been so turned on by him, you’d gotten yourself off while you sucked his cock. You’d never done that before, and you knew it was entirely because you were so attracted to Jake, even when you’d only known his cock. The fact that he was real and handsome and inside you made it impossible to ignore how much you desired him, your body squirming as need crashed through you.
Though you’d barely moved, Jake could feel the way you squirmed in his arms and he chuckled. “Mm, I thought so,” he rumbled, responding like you’d answered his question, which you supposed you had, in a way. He pressed his face close to yours and held you so you were forced to look at him, because he was all you could see. “You don’t need to say the words back to me, kitten,” he murmured, his tone so sweet and gentle, it inexplicably made you want to cry. “But I know you feel it.”
God help you, but Jake was right. You were falling in love with the ridiculous trucker, and it seemed there was nothing you could do about it. Tears filled your eyes and threatened to spill down your cheeks. It was so tremendously frightening to open your heart to Jake, even when you weren’t thinking about everything in your life that would endeavor to keep you apart. Your throat felt tight with emotion, like you were choking on all the feelings you didn’t want to feel. 
“Jakey,” was all you could manage to get past your lips. Thankfully, you didn’t need to say more because Jake covered your mouth with his own, kissing you so hard it stole the breath from your lungs. Your hips squirmed as heat flooded through you, the aching need of having Jake’s cock buried inside you becoming too difficult to ignore. 
Instead of letting you ride him more, Jake flipped your bodies until you were pinned beneath his larger one, swallowing your gasp as he began fucking you like he had when you’d first begun, in slow, firm thrusts. When you wrenched your lips from his, gulping down much-needed air, he didn’t let you pull too far away.
“Love it when you call me Jakey, kitten,” he rumbled, in between peppering your face with kisses, his goatee tickling your skin, “’cause I know it means you love me.” 
It felt like he was everywhere—his arms holding you tight to his chest, his lips pressing against every inch of your skin he could reach, his thick cock stretching your tight little cunt. He was overwhelming in the best way possible, and you let yourself give in to the moment, crying out, “Jakey, Jakey,” as he fucked you even after what he’d said about it meaning you loved him. 
The tip of Jake’s cock hit a spot deep inside you that had you moaning and clenching around him, and he groaned at the feel of your body squeezing his dick. He shifted his position slightly and made sure he hit that spot over and over again, until you felt like you were the one unraveling beneath your favorite trucker. 
“That’s it, good girl, take your Jakey’s cock,” he growled, his teeth nipping at your ear and your neck as he fucked you harder, feeling the way you twitched with pleasure in his arms. “Look so fucking gorgeous creaming on my cock—the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and you’re all fucking mine, isn’t that right, kitten?”
Your heart pounded in your chest, willing your lips to say yes, but all you could manage was a litany of your favorite trucker’s name, crying “Jakey, Jakey, Jakey.” You could feel the pleasure in your body coiling tight, and you knew it wouldn’t be long before Jake made you come. It felt better than you ever imagined, being with him, and you wanted it to last forever.
You could feel Jake’s smirk against your cheek and then his face was hovering above yours, his blue eyes nearly black with how wide his pupils had blown with arousal. It made him look nothing like the friendly trucker you’d met in the parking lot, but you wouldn’t trade in this unleashed side of Jake for anything. He wasn’t cute anymore, but he was so scorching hot, you thought you might come just from the way he was looking at you like you were his whole world.
“You gonna come, kitten?” he asked, his lightly teasing words at odds with the brutal way he was fucking you, his cock pounding into that delicious spot deep inside your cunt, his pelvic bone grinding against your clit every time he bottomed out inside you. “Gonna come all over the cock of the man who loves you? Gonna let the man who loves you come deep in your perfect cunt?” 
Jake’s words were your undoing. The tension in your body snapped as your release crashed over you, pleasure consuming every part of your being as you screamed your trucker’s name, “Jakey!” Your body trembled, your hands fumbling against Jake’s shoulders as you tried to cling to him, but he wasn’t done with you yet.
“That’s it, that’s a good girl,” Jake muttered, his hips rutting into you as he chased his own release while drawing yours out. “Ya look so fucking pretty coming on my cock, kitten—the prettiest girl in the world, gonna make me come, gonna make me come so hard your tight, perfect pussy.” He captured your lips in a kiss, breaking away a moment later to grunt, “Fuck, fuck, you’re mine, kitten, all fucking mine.” 
You felt Jake’s hips stutter against yours and then he pressed deep. His cock twitched inside you, and you knew he was flooding your pussy with his come, that thought making you moan deliriously. You pulled Jake down for a messy, sloppy kiss as you rode out your releases together, your cunt clenching around his cock to milk every drop of his seed into your pussy. 
You writhed together for so long that Jake began to shudder from the overstimulation, and he collapsed on top of you, forcing you to stop while he moaned in your ear. Even still, you kept your legs hooked around his waist, refusing to let him go. His heavy weight was crushing you a little, but you didn’t mind as you stroked your fingertips up and down hi spine.
Eventually, both of you settled, and Jake rolled onto his side, dragging you with him. He hitched your leg over his hip to keep your bodies connected, seemingly just as reluctant as you were to pull away from where you were joined together. 
But the realities of the world burrowed back into your mind, reminding you that no matter how much Jake loved you—and no matter how much you were falling in love with him—any relationship between the two of you was an impossibility. 
If Mr. Drysdale found out you’d fucked one of the truckers that comprised Diesel Dolls’ clientele, there would be consequences. Even if you weren’t fired, you didn’t want to learn what punishment Mr. Drysdale would come up with to make sure you never saw Jake again. There’d be no way for you to have a relationship with your favorite trucker, even a secret one, since secrets had a way of coming out at Diesel Dolls.
Once you’d caught your breath and thoroughly freaked yourself out with your thoughts about the consequences of your actions, you sighed softly and began to extricate yourself from Jake. “I should go,” you murmured, but the moment you tried to pull away, Jake pulled you in tighter against his chest. There was a light dusting of hair coving his pecs and you couldn’t help but nuzzle deeper into the warmth and fuzziness of him.
Jake chuckled. “Do you really think I’m done with you already, kitten?” he asked teasingly, dropping a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ve wanted to get you in my arms and on my cock for months,” he said, his dick twitching inside you as he began to harden again. “I’m not letting you go just yet.” He nudged your face up to look at him, a little bit of vulnerability swirling in his blue eyes as he whispered, “Stay the night. Please.”
Your heart skipped a beat at the way Jake said ‘please’, like he would be heartbroken if you didn’t stay. At that moment, you realized just how much trouble you were in. It would break your heart to hurt Jake, but there was no way things didn’t end with one of you hurting the other. Either you’d hurt Jake by choosing your job over him or he’d hurt you by leaving. It was an impossible situation.
Jake seemed to sense your reluctance, and he kissed you softly, putting his heart into the slide of his lips against yours. “Let me take care of you, kitten,” he murmured. 
You knew he was referring to sex, but a part of you suspected he meant more than that, too. You sucked in a soft gasp, wanting to believe he really wanted to take care of you, all of you, all of the time. But it was so difficult to believe. If you gave yourself to Jake fully, he’d have to really take care of you, forever. And you didn’t know if he was willing or capable of that. 
It wasn’t like Jake was some sort of prince charming who’d whisk you off your feet and carry you off into the sunset. This was real life, and he was a trucker. One day he’d leave, and, odds were, he wouldn’t be taking you with him. It wasn’t like he was asking you to let him take care of you for the rest of your life.
But if all he was asking for was one night, you could give him that. It was only one night, after all.
“Ok,” you murmured, kissing Jake sweetly, twining your fingers in his blond hair and rocking your body against his, fucking yourself on his cock. “I’m yours for tonight, Jakey.” 
You could feel Jake’s grin against your lips, and feel his happiness in the way he squeezed you tight. His elation was heady and you almost got lost in it, imagining yourself leaving with Jake when he went back out on the road. 
You pictured Jake rescuing you from Mr. Drysdale, fighting for you when your boss from Diesel Dolls inevitably protested you leaving. You imagined fitting perfectly into Jake’s life as a trucker, and eventually becoming his sweet little wife. You imagined being his princess while he was your prince charming.
But it was all a fantasy, and you knew that. You weren’t some princess locked in a tower by a wicked witch, and Jake wasn’t your prince charming. But for one night, you could pretend. What harm could it do.
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trucker king masterlist
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sensualnoiree · 1 month
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Aries:
Key Themes: New Beginnings, Initiative & Action, Cardinal Fire Sign, Leadership, Vibrancy & Vitality, Boldness & Courage, Sudden Bursts of Power, Spontaneity, Quick Decision Making, Spark of Inspiration, Pioneering, Risk-Taking, Passion & Enthusiasm, Empowering Energy.
Symbolism & Archetype: Aries embodies the essence of the "pioneer" and "warrior." It signifies the spark of life and the birth of new cycles. The assertive and action-oriented nature of Aries is linked to its role as the first sign of the zodiac, where the journey begins. As a Cardinal Fire sign, Aries initiates action with a fiery zeal, often acting as a trailblazer in any situation.
Esoteric Perspective: The mantra "I come forth, and from the Plane of Mind I rule" encapsulates Aries' journey of self-realization and mastery of will. Aries is where divine ideas are born, and its energy drives the manifestation of the divine will. The "Heart in the Head Lotus" represents the spiritual awakening and higher consciousness that Aries can achieve when aligned with its higher purpose.
Taurus:
Key Themes: Fixed Earth Sign, Venus Ruled, Grounded & Stable, Appreciation for Nature, Enduring, Stubbornness & Reliability, Cultivation of Taste, Value for Quality, Slow & Steady Rhythm, Resistance to Change.
Symbolism & Archetype: Taurus is the "builder" and "preserver," embodying the energy of stability and endurance. As the Fixed Earth sign, Taurus is connected to the physical realm, emphasizing the importance of security, material wealth, and sensual pleasures. The bull symbolizes strength, patience, and a deep connection to the earth.
Esoteric Perspective: The phrase "I SEE, and when the eye is opened, all is illumined" reflects Taurus' journey toward spiritual illumination through the material world. Taurus is associated with desire, but this desire evolves into a drive for spiritual beauty and the synthesis of the divine within the physical form. The "penetrating Light of the Path" signifies Taurus' role in revealing the hidden mysteries of the heart.
Gemini:
Key Themes: Quick Learners, Social & Charming, Mercury Ruled, Communication, Intellect, Curiosity, Versatility, Adaptability, Dynamic & Changing Energy, Love of Learning.
Symbolism & Archetype: Gemini is the "communicator" and "trickster," representing the duality of mind and the flow of information. As a Mutable Air sign, Gemini is associated with the exchange of ideas, quick thinking, and adaptability. The twins symbolize the dual nature of Gemini, constantly exploring both sides of every situation.
Esoteric Perspective: The mantra "I recognize my other self and in the waning of that self I grow and glow" speaks to Gemini's journey of integrating the higher and lower selves. Gemini's energy is about relating and connecting, overcoming the illusion of separation. It is linked to the heart of the Sun, symbolizing the central role of communication and connection in the sustenance of life.
Cancer:
Key Themes: The Crab, Intuitive & Sensitive, Moon Ruled, Emotional Sensitivity, Nurturing & Protective, Strong Attachment to Home & Family, Sentimental & Nostalgic.
Symbolism & Archetype: Cancer is the "nurturer" and "caretaker," embodying the energy of emotional depth and protection. As a Cardinal Water sign, Cancer is associated with the nurturing of life, whether it be through family, home, or emotional bonds. The crab symbolizes protection, retreat, and the cyclical nature of life.
Esoteric Perspective: The phrase "I build a lighted house and therein dwell" reflects Cancer's journey of creating a safe and sacred space for the soul. Cancer is where the light of the soul begins to shine within the form, illuminating the path of life. The sign is associated with the breath of life, signifying the connection between spirit, soul, and form.
Leo:
Key Themes: Fixed Fire Sign, The Sun, Leadership, Radiant Personality, Attention-Seeking, Bold, Creative, Passionate, Loyalty & Stability, Devoted in Relationships, Heart Chakra & Compassion.
Symbolism & Archetype: Leo is the "king" and "hero," representing the power of self-expression and leadership. As a Fixed Fire sign, Leo embodies the energy of creativity, confidence, and vitality. The lion symbolizes strength, nobility, and the desire to shine.
Esoteric Perspective: The mantra "I am That, and That Am I" reflects Leo's journey toward self-realization and spiritual mastery. Leo's energy is about illuminating the self and others, leading with the heart, and achieving self-mastery. The "will-to-rule and to dominate" signifies Leo's potential for self-control and the conditioning of the environment in alignment with the divine plan.
Virgo:
Key Themes: Mutable Earth Sign, Mercury Ruled, Attention to Detail & Discernment, Analytical, Practical, Connection to Digestion & Assimilation, Preparation for Judgment & Equinox, Diligence & Service.
Symbolism & Archetype: Virgo is the "healer" and "analyst," embodying the energy of service, organization, and purification. As a Mutable Earth sign, Virgo is associated with the practical application of knowledge, meticulous attention to detail, and the cultivation of order. The goddess Demeter symbolizes the nurturing and harvesting aspects of Virgo.
Esoteric Perspective: The phrase "I Am the Mother and the Child; I God - I Matter, Am" reflects Virgo's journey of integrating the spiritual and material worlds. Virgo's energy is about nurturing the divine potential within the material world, preparing for the revelation of the hidden spiritual reality. The sign is associated with the nurturing force of substance itself.
Libra:
Key Themes: Cardinal Air Sign, Venus Ruled, Balance & Weighing, Harmony & Fairness, Focus on Relationships & Social Harmony, Beauty, Art, & Aesthetics.
Symbolism & Archetype: Libra is the "diplomat" and "judge," embodying the energy of balance, harmony, and fairness. As a Cardinal Air sign, Libra is associated with the weighing of options, the pursuit of justice, and the importance of relationships. The scales symbolize equilibrium, duality, and the quest for fairness.
Esoteric Perspective: The mantra "I choose the way which leads between the two great lines of force" reflects Libra's journey of finding balance between opposing forces. Libra's energy is about achieving harmony between the soul and personality, creating a point of balance where spiritual opportunity arises. The sign is associated with the probationary path, where duality is known and choice is inevitable.
Scorpio:
Key Themes: Fixed Water Sign, Ruled by Mars, Intense, Mysterious, Deep Emotional Connections, Passion & Intensity, Resourceful, Strong Intuition, Power of Self-Transformation.
Symbolism & Archetype: Scorpio is the "transformer" and "warrior," embodying the energy of deep emotional intensity and the power of transformation. As a Fixed Water sign, Scorpio is associated with the exploration of the depths of the psyche, the confrontation of fears, and the process of rebirth. The scorpion symbolizes resilience, defense, and the ability to regenerate.
Esoteric Perspective: The mantra "Warrior am I and from the Battle I emerge Triumphant" reflects Scorpio's journey of inner transformation and spiritual triumph. Scorpio's energy is about the merging of the light of form, soul, and life, leading to the liberation of the soul from the lower worlds. The sign is associated with the trials and tests of the soul's journey, ultimately leading to triumph and liberation.
Sagittarius:
Key Themes: Mutable Fire Sign, Ruled by Jupiter, Outspoken, Adventurous, Philosophical, Freedom-Loving, Idealistic, Generous, Wanderlust, Spiritual Aspiration.
Symbolism & Archetype: Sagittarius is the "seeker" and "philosopher," embodying the energy of exploration, truth-seeking, and spiritual aspiration. As a Mutable Fire sign, Sagittarius is associated with the quest for knowledge, the pursuit of higher wisdom, and the desire for freedom. The archer symbolizes direction, focus, and the pursuit of lofty goals.
Esoteric Perspective: The mantra "I see the Goal. I reach that goal and then I see another" reflects Sagittarius' journey of continuous spiritual growth and expansion. Sagittarius' energy is about seeing the vision of the goal and directing one's course toward it, driven by an intuitive sense of direction. The sign is associated with idealism, spiritual aspiration, and the power to see beyond the present.
Capricorn:
Key Themes: Cardinal Earth Sign, Ruled by Saturn, Ambition & Persistence, Practical Applications, Duties & Responsibilities, Focus on Building Secure Structures & Financial Security, Connection to History & Ancestry.
Symbolism & Archetype: Capricorn is the "builder" and "strategist," embodying the energy of discipline, responsibility, and long-term achievement. As a Cardinal Earth sign, Capricorn is associated with the pursuit of goals, the importance of structure, and the mastery of the material world. The mountain goat symbolizes perseverance, ambition, and the climb to the top.
Esoteric Perspective: The phrase "Lost am I in light supernal, yet on that light I turn my back" reflects Capricorn's journey of achieving spiritual enlightenment and the responsibility of turning back to serve humanity. Capricorn's energy is about balancing the light of the personality and the soul, leading to the experience of the mountain top, where spiritual initiation takes place. The sign is associated with the triumph of spiritual will over material limitations.
Aquarius:
Key Themes: Fixed Air Sign, Ruled by Uranus, Humanitarianism, Idealism, Connection to Higher Thought & Collective Ideals, Social Reformer, Emphasis on Friendship & Community.
Symbolism & Archetype: Aquarius is the "visionary" and "reformer," embodying the energy of innovation, idealism, and the collective consciousness. As a Fixed Air sign, Aquarius is associated with the pursuit of knowledge, the importance of social connections, and the drive to create a better future for all. The water bearer symbolizes the pouring forth of knowledge and wisdom to humanity.
Esoteric Perspective: The phrase "Water of Life am I, poured forth for thirsty men" reflects Aquarius' journey of serving humanity through the dissemination of spiritual knowledge and the promotion of unity. Aquarius' energy is about the realization of the oneness of all life and the importance of the collective good. The sign is associated with the awakening of spiritual consciousness and the unfolding of the plan for humanity.
Pisces:
Key Themes: Mutable Water Sign, Ruled by Neptune, Compassion & Empathy, Connection to the Subconscious & Dreams, Intuition, Spiritual Awareness, Sacrifice & Service, Boundlessness & Unity.
Symbolism & Archetype: Pisces is the "mystic" and "dreamer," embodying the energy of compassion, empathy, and spiritual transcendence. As a Mutable Water sign, Pisces is associated with the dissolution of boundaries, the exploration of the subconscious, and the connection to the divine. The fish symbolizes fluidity, the connection to the ocean of consciousness, and the ability to navigate the depths of the soul.
Esoteric Perspective: The phrase "I leave the Father’s Home and turning back, I save" reflects Pisces' journey of self-sacrifice and spiritual service. Pisces' energy is about the realization of unity with all life and the willingness to serve the collective through selflessness and compassion. The sign is associated with the completion of the soul's journey, leading to spiritual liberation and the merging with the divine.
follow for more astro insights like this and head on over to @quenysefields or my etsy --> sensualnoiree to grab my new astrology guidebook on reading your own natal chart :)
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ezekiel-krishna · 6 months
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Pick a Pen 🖊️
What Kind of Person will you Grow Old with ?
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Picking the ideal Pen :
Take a moment to close your eyes and inhale deeply. Slowly open your eyes, choose the first pen that captures your attention..
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⇝ Please remember that this reading is not personalized, so only take which resonates with you.. 1 > 2 > 3
For Personalized Readings ➤ Click Here
Pen 1
The person you'll spend your life with will provide you with a strong sense of security, happiness, and balance. This partner will value the idea of establishing a solid base and fostering a loving, harmonious atmosphere. The individual will be the perfect match for your dreams of a lasting and dedicated companionship. Your aspirations, beliefs, and dreams for the future will be perfectly in sync. Together, you will build a nurturing and encouraging environment where both of you can flourish.
With a sense of balance and peace , you guys will age gracefully into your own little world. Your Partner will serve as a rock-solid foundation, offering unwavering support during both the good times and the bad, providing you with strength and affection when it is most needed. This partnership will be marked by happy occasions, festivities, and a profound feeling of satisfaction as you navigate life's path hand in hand.
In this fated bond, you guys will sustain one another, establishing a strong base rooted in love, faith, and mutual admiration. Your relationship will unfurl like a seamless tango, where you both value and revel in each other's individuality while embracing the special bond you share.
Pen 2
The partner you'll grow old with will be unwavering, hardworking, and dedicated to laying a sturdy groundwork for your shared future. This person is committed to a stable and secure life, taking things seriously. Their down-to-earth personality and practical approach will provide a feeling of safety and consistency in your relationship. Your future partner will be focused on their goals and responsibilities, sharing your desire for reliability and a strong foundation..
It will be like stepping into a thrilling adventure alongside with this remarkable individual, who possesses exceptional skills in practical and tangible fields like business, finance, or craftsmanship. Their meticulous nature may sometimes give the impression of being reserved or cautious, but it actually arises from their deep-seated aspiration to ensure a solid and secure future for the welfare of both.. Together, you will establish a relationship built on trust, dependability, and a shared dedication to long-term stability.
Pen 3
This person is overflowing with dynamic energy and intense passion. A youthful and eager individual brimming with creativity, motivation, and a thirst for adventure. Your Partner is ready to dive into new experiences, take on daring challenges, and inject their life with enthusiasm and thrill. The individual you will spend your golden years with will sets your soul on fire, motivates your aspirations, and amplifies your thirst for excitement. Will be your companion, sharing your zeal for life, and forever pushing you to discover uncharted territories.
This journey will be a lifelong pursuit of personal and artistic growth, where you will wholeheartedly support each other's dreams and ambitions. Together, you will revel in the excitement of new discoveries and the magic of life's experiences. Your connection will be marked by a youthful vigor and a shared passion for exploration, resulting in a dynamic and enriching partnership.
Let this reading motivate you and steer you towards a lifetime of happiness, love, and contentment...🌟
For Paid Personalized Analysis & Reviews ➤ Check Here
Masterlist ➤ Check Here
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fishtomale · 10 months
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PLEASE READ AND REBLOG
*(do not tag as d.o.nations or m.utual a.id please!)
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I’m Hamish Wilson. I am white mentally ill and neurodivergent trans man who is located in southern Ohio of the USA. I have survived multiple forms of abuse but am thankfully in a happy long term relationship with my girlfriend, Liz, who lives in Germany. I want to be able to save up to move out of country to live with her and also save up for our wedding and future, but currently survival is taking priority. When I say survival I am primarily referring to rent, psychiatric medicine, and groceries / food. I have a job, I am a waiter at a sports restaurant, but they are hostile to me as an out trans worker and the money has not been nearly as reliable this year as it was the past two. I am working to pick up more and better shifts and to find a new job, but as of today (December 2, 2023) I am $1350 in rent debt and I am not hopeful for the following months. Reaching my goal of $2500 by January 1st would really change my life around and make me feel like I can finally function in enough security to pursue a happier and healthier life.
Anything would mean a lot to me right now, from donations (even small), reblogs, written encouragement, information on local resources, or commissions for my tarot services. You taking the time to read this means a lot. Thank you.
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ven.mo @hamish97
Cas.ha.pp $hellohamish
(I also have tips open on tumblr and am willing to make whatever account accommodates you for money exchange)
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