#Religious Humor

[a-thread-of-green]

The reason why God was so involved in human affairs a long time ago but then noped out after Jesus is because God is going through the same motions for every animal species: making a covenant, giving commandments, and sending down his own child to die in the form of that species. I know this because I felt an odd urge to swallow a mouse yesterday and, when I questioned it, I received a vision from God saying that He was on mice right now, and the mouse I was about to swallow was the mouse-equivalent of Jonah. Tomorrow I'm supposed to spit him out in a den of sinful mice so that he can squeak to word of God at them. I wish that little guy the best.

[crazycatsiren]

It still gets me, the irony, that of all the lunar deities from mythologies around the world to choose from, NASA just had to name their moon missions program after a sun god. You can't tell me Apollo isn't laughing about this still.

[frettedzetaplushball]

[geezerwench]

Our lord and savory.

[bamsara]

praise be he the croc the gator for he delivered us from sin our savior

[spacefinch]

OP turned off reblogs, but this post deserves a spot on my blog.

Anyway, for those of you who observe it, have a meaningful Good Friday tomorrow. If you don’t observe it, just have a nice weekend.

[ashleyfableblack]

As it seems some folkes have their jockeys in a bind over "disrespecting the last supper" I felt this was relevant. 😂😁😂

[mayor-mclikeme-please]

Please don’t crusade me.

[callmeriver-art]

The Road Killing of Gladys circa 2025

Thinking about the absurdity of the Christian symbolism of the cross would be like if I started worshipping the idol of Nana Gladys being hit by a bus rip

[galaxy-lantern]

Rises from the dead, says you'll get eternal life if you follow and wants you to drink his blood....hmmmmm

Bit suspicious don't you think 😏

[themisinformer]

Wikipedia Editors Struggle to Find Attractive Photo of Pope from His Youth

NATIONWIDE - In the wake of Pope Francis’ recent passing, Wikipedia’s notoriously quick editors have encountered a problem in that they can’t seem to find a single flattering photo of the Supreme Pontiff from his youth to use now that he’s passed.

Following a well established Wikipedia tradition of replacing a public figure’s Wikipedia picture with a younger, more vibrant picture of themselves from their prime, editors for the online encyclopedia have allegedly spent hours combing through decades of photos in a desperate attempt at finding a somewhat flattering photo of the Pope in his youth.

“All respect to the Pope, but you’d think that the man was never attractive,” said Wikipedia editor Fedora_The_Explora. “He’s looked 80 ever since he came out of the womb.”

Internal debates have raged on in the sacred battleground known as the “Talk” page, where editors have been arguing for hours over the aesthetic criteria set for Wikipedia photos, including having a “divine jawline,” “clear skin,” and “facial symmetry.”

One user eventually suggested that they just use AI to generate an image of a younger looking Pope, but that was quickly shot down considering that there’s now software people can use to detect AI images.

Another idea that was thrown out was just using some random renaissance painting of a young saint, and most people seemed to be in agreement with this idea until someone pointed out that the saint they were going to use bore an uncanny resemblance to Timothée Chalamet.

Not having much else to work with, Wikipedia editors would replace the Pope’s picture with white text over a black background that reads, “We have nothing to put here. We know this isn’t ideal given how influential the Pope was, so if anyone has a somewhat flattering picture of the Pope, then be sure to send it our way. But based on our efforts, it seems like we’re shit out of luck.”

[yeahthatswhatimtolkienabout]

Quote of the day:

When discussing being Christened with my partner, I totally referred to it as "being Simba-ed" by a priest because I forgot the word.

[crazycatsiren]

God blesses and rests his soul! 🤍

[frettedzetaplushball]

[wordsaladsenpai]

There are only three men in my life: the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen 🙏

[justanaverageteenageheroine]

In honor of my mother waking me up at 4am, recovering catholics this one is for you 🫡