#Rowena is in the next episode

[assbuttboyfriends]

Aurélie & I were able to speak with Jojo and they are so so nice and sweet 🥰

[souporsaladnatural]

I've seen alot of people talk about how dean wouldn't let cas heal him after he beat the shit out of him while under rowenas attack dog spell, which yes yes delicious angst i get it

HOWEVER I haven't seen anybody bring up how the next episode "Baby" pretty much starts with sam mentioning to dean that cas was bitching about it to him which is just SO fucking funny to me

[castielsprostate]

supernatural space episode!!!!!!! where they are hunting on the NASA terrain because there's been a reporting of a very weird spooky ghost and sam, dean, castiel, rowena and crowley get shot up into space. sam somehow knows how to man the cockpit (he learned it at stanford), the artificial gravity doesn't work on castiel so he's constantly floating through the spacecraft. crowley is biting the airtanks which gets him ejected into space, they tied a rope around him to drag him along, rowena is having a lovely high tea with the space ghost that climbed on board with them

sam salts and burns the ship whilst dean and castiel are fucking nasty in the fuel room and he forgort that he kinda needed it to get back to earth so castiel zaps everyone back except sam who dies in space. he's back in the next episode because that was just clone sam

[angelsdean]

dean doing his whole recently divorced routine in 15x06 by wandering around the home in his PJs and indulging in comfort food and sulking and talking to his ex on the phone while they're both so so annoyed but dean is also still worried for cas's safety while cas is doing what he does best, isolating and still trying to do the Right Thing and get some #wins bc he thinks that's what he needs to do but dean has never asked that of him. and he's so annoyed when he's called out for his avoidant behavior esp when it's not abt him and dean but actually chuck being back and also the knowledge that yea dean still cares about him and his safety even when they're both pissed at each other and isn't that the reason cas loves him in the first place, bc dean cares. about the whole world even!

and then in the next ep dean runs into an old ex and relives some highs only to realize that guy is a total foil to his (ex)-husband who he misses dearly and who cares and always tries to do the right thing even when it backfires and goes wrong and so after killing his old ex he returns home to where his husband has been looking after his brother and they stand on opposite sides of the room with the literal world between them (map table) and it's awkward but they both want to makeup so bad already (we can fix this / it's not broken / i'd rather have you / of course i wanted you to stay etc etc). but reaching out is Hard.

and then in the NEXT episode dean cuts his hand for a spell so they can go get couples therapy from rowena and then cas REACHES OUT to heal dean even tho they're still annoyed w/ each other and it's a first gesture and then rowena tells them to get their act together bc life is short and remember crowley my dear son crowley and then they go to purgatory and they bicker but at least they're talking and then cas is gone again and maybe dead and dean is like NO NO NO i can't lose him again and yea life is short and i need to tell you i need you to know OF COURSE I WANTED YOU TO STAY AND ANOTHER THING--(i love you) and cas is like i heard your prayer (don't say that or i'll die). anyway i love divorce arc. they both still care so so much and it's so obvious in everything they do

[chicken-wayng]

10 Reasons you should watch Letterkenny:

1. Next level humor

2. A look into a Canadian country lifestyle

3. Katy is a dime and unapologetically so

4. Wayne is the best portrayal of autism I've ever seen AND he's the main character

5. Found family

6. Very feminist; what other show has an episode entirely dedicated to Women's month and explaining feminism to hicks in a way they can understand? While still being funny!

7. They show us TRUE friendships and relationships and how they are all different to the individual characters

8. The guy Rowena (from spn) sees as more of a son than Crowley is soft AF and his curls are unleashed

9. Small fandom and so there really isn't any discourse

10. It's perfect for video edits

[hexedwinchester]

Early seasons of SPN are superior

so I'm re-watching Supernatural (I'm always re-watching SPN, don't mind me) and I realised why the early seasons are so freakin good whereas the laters ones are a complete mess...

Horror was the core theme of Supernatural (yes, I'm not discarding the brothers' drama, I'll get to it in a minute). These beautiful scare tactics that they employed were amazing: the crib mobile toy rotating, shadows moving out of the corner of the eyes, toys going off, subtle bloody Mary reflections in the mirror, creepy skulls dug from the ground, the ghosts flickering. Hell yea they nailed 'Scary just got sexy' with these.

Don't get me started on the background music. Whimsical music crescendo, building up the anticipation. The rock music blaring through the Impala. What happened to the cool ass music in the later seasons? They just played this weird, sad tune like someone's blowing raspberries to show grief and that's it!

Monster of the week theme and the lores/legends in early seasons were much, much better than S12's Foundry or the later season episode with bizarre tentacle porn thingy (you know which one I'm talking about). It just didn't feel the same. The stories were poorly written and even more poorly executed.

Early seasons used to be purely about Sam and Dean (as it should have been throughout) Them against the world, heaven and hell. No dumbass angel lurking in the background like a pathetic third wheel. No king of hell bitching about his sad childhood for two whole seasons. No Soccer mom half assing their way into hunting.

Foreshadowing was done so beautifully! Everytime I re-watch the early seasons I find a few bits that connects to something that happened initially in say S1-2. The parallels are done beautifully and writing is good, and I mean 'I wanna use this quote as a wallpaper' good.

The struggle for the boys was real. They had to do their own research, save their own asses, stitch their wounds, pop their dislocated shoulders back in the place. Later seasons? Bunker has answer to everything, angel healing wounds with a flash of light, Lucifer bringing Sam back from the dead without asking for anything (and no, taking him to Jack is not a good enough bargain), Jack healing wounds or whatever. Where is the damn struggle?! Where is the hero's journey?!

I miss the beautiful, colourful motel rooms that had its own personality. I HATE the bunker (yes I know a lot of people love it because Dean has a good shower, they have a home etc, etc) but no! Bunker is lame and boring and monotonous. There isn't a single thing I like about it. Gimme back my motel rooms with the sunburst mirror!

Story arc or lack thereof from S12 onwards. The main plot just got duller and duller from S12 onward and it felt like the writers got lazy and stopped putting efforts. There was no build up and the plot felt forced. The main arcs didn't feel exciting enough. BMoL and Kelly's pregnancy: the who and why? Jack: predictable. Other Micheal and Micheal Dean: meh, next! God as the big bad: interesting but I don't think they have it in them to execute this correctly.

Irrelevant/Unnecessary characters and their mini plots. S1-5 focuses purely on the brothers and that's what I'm here. I don't care how and why an idiot angel opened purgatory. It sounded more like a dull spin off plot than main story arc. I don't care about prophets and their lives (yeah Kevin is in Advance Placement, what am I to do with that?). I don't care about the different angel garrisons at war (again a plot for a lame spin off). I don't care about Crowley, his son or his relationship with Rowena. Tell me how this affects the boys. If it doesn't, please let's move on. Whatever was going on with Cole Trenton was pointless. I don't care about Mary and her hunting escapades with BMoL. I don't care about Kelly's pregnancy. The multi-universe and all characters they vomited back in the show with this. Not needed! Let Charlie, Gabriel and Bobby's memory rest in peace. Nick's killer storyline and wayward sisters. Enough said. Empty and the deal with Cas and Meg 2.0? Boring! Billy playing the bad cop, the whole death's library? Poorly executed and it turned into a bowl of cold spaghetti. In the end, the focus moved from the boys to useless characters and mini plots. Fuck that! Supernatural is about Sam and Dean and that's about it.

The direction. Later seasons lack the beauty of scenic shots of the landscape, close on up the boys' faces, the lights hitting their faces to show their beauty. Camera angles and slow panning shots. I miss the beauty that were the early seasons.

[payphoneangel]

Supernatural: The Showrunner's Challenge

A writing challenge/exercise

I saw this post and thought it would be really fun to make a SPN specific version. Some of these I tweaked from the OG post, some are the exact same, and others are brand new. If you like this, please give the OG post some love for the creators great idea!!

Think you can write better than the showrunners of Supernatural? Let’s find out! This prompt is a writing exercise/challenge to create a ‘season’ of Supernatural via fanfic. Each chapter functions as an episode.

Prompt:

To start, think of what you would change about SPN if you were its showrunner. Would you scrap everything and start from new? Keep the series going with a new season? Pick a spot in the show and diverge from there? Ignore all the plot and play dolls with your favorite characters? 

Write a chapter that works as the Pilot of the show you want to see. At the end of each episode, roll a d12 to see what you must include in the following episode:

Roll a d12:

1. Everything at once: Roll twice, use both. If you get 1 again, keep rolling. Your only way out is to stop getting 1s. 

2. TMWWBK: Give every character in the previous chapter a number. Using a dice roll/random number generator, the character whose number is selected is now the main subject and POV of the next episode. 

For a greater challenge: include any character mentioned by name and any character with dialogue. (i.e. If Sam mentions Bobby, give him a number. If the waitress at a diner talks to Dean, give her a number)

3. Fan favorite: Your most recently mentioned character (or named object) is now beloved by the audience. You must give them a bigger part in the story, a special destiny, or an important new romance or friendship. 

If you roll 3 again; the character must get killed off to motivate their friends/allies/love interest or to serve the plot.

If you roll 3 a third time; either start over OR they come back from the dead.

4. High Concept Episode: Due to plot/MOTW/meddling gods/whatever, the characters are trapped in a different genre than usual. Roll a d6. 

High Fantasy/Sci-Fi

Apocalypse/Alternate Reality 

Time Travel/Time loop

Sit-com/Meta

Crossover/Stuck in a video Game

Slasher/Death Game

5. Filler episode: The next chapter must be completely low stakes and set you at ease. 

For a greater challenge: Flip a coin for each main character. 

Heads: Their filler is full of thoughtful inner world building and characterization

Tails: They are interrogating the milves (i.e. doing something silly and stupid)

6. Mothership: The next chapter must include the characters making references to/listening to/arguing about/having a feelings jam accompanied by... Classic Rock. 

Bonus: If you roll three 6’s in a row, introduce a Lucifer plotline (If you were ALREADY writing about Lucifer.... kill him).

7. Fallen Angels and Special Children: If the last character mentioned in the previous episode has special abilities, they lose them. If that character does not have special abilities, they gain them.

8. The Focus Group: The execs created a focus group to see if audiences would like more romance in the show. Flip a coin to determine the outcome:

Heads: The audience is into it and so are the execs! The next episode needs to involve a deep, sappy confession of either love or admiration between two characters that have not previously been romantically involved. 

Tails: The audience is into it but the execs aren't so sure... The next episode needs to introduce a budding romance between two characters that is only ever alluded to, but never stated outright.

If you roll 8 again:

If you got Heads on the previous flip: The characters have a messy breakup/divorce.

If you got Tails on the previous flip: One character dies right after outright stating their romantic feelings for the other.

9. Familiar Faces: A character from a different season is (re)introduced and becomes plot relevant. (ex: if you’re writing early seasons, include Kevin, Rowena, Ketch, Dagon, ect. If you’re writing late seasons, include Rufus, Cassie, Ava, Bela, ect.)

For greater challenge, assign characters a number and select via dice roll OR

Use a tumblr poll to have followers select

10. J2 Fallout: The two most recently mentioned characters' actors have, IRL, gone through a VERY messy divorce or friend breakup. You cannot put them in the same scene, but they must both remain relevant to the show. 

If you roll 10 again, they reconcile. 

11. Deep Analysis: Roll a d6. The next episode must include the theme of:

Grief

Bodily Autonomy

Family don’t end in blood

Family is Hell/Absent Fathers and Absent Gods

What makes a monster monstrous

Love

12. Are we ever really done? The most recently mentioned character's actor has decided to leave the show. Kill off their character. 

If you roll 12 again for another episode, the character returns.

There's a few bonuses to a character returning, so if you so choose, Flip a coin. 

Heads: the actor chose to come back and the character looks the same. 

Tails: the actor did not reprise their role so the character has a "new vessel." 

The other bonus flip:

Heads: upon return, the character is on the side of the protags 

Tails: upon return, the character is working against the protags

Have fun and happy writing <3

Please feel free to tweak this game however works best for you. And if anyone does actually end up writing and posting something based off this, PLEASE tag me bc I wanna see lmao

Tagging a few writing buddies who might get a kick out of this: @kerryweaverlesbian @shallowseeker @bloodydeanwinchester @gryptids @kingflups

[spngirlpolls]

check out parts 1-3 for other episodes and comment suggestions for a next part!

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

birth plan

masterlist

summary: you’re pregnant with castiel’s baby… or is it babies?

pairing: castiel x female reader

rating: R for language

word count: 1.5k

warnings: pregnancy, language, medical inaccuracies i think (i’ve never been pregnant so i don’t think i describe the feeling well)

timeline: this is set in no particular season/episode but there are spoilers for the later seasons (certain characters).

author’s note: i’m basing this off a dream i had - before said dream i never even thought of cas this way at all (gotta love that subconscious, huh?) anyway, i couldn’t stop thinking of this dream so here’s a cas fic :)

when you found out you were pregnant with castiel’s baby you freaked out. not the expected ‘holy fuck there’s a living thing growing inside me’ but more like ‘holy fuck i’m gonna die in a few months cause there’s a tiny angel in my uterus’.

you cried while telling castiel, you were terrified. he assured you he wouldn’t let you die, he promised you would be okay and that the two of you could raise the baby together. if you did live, you had no clue how to raise a kid, or if you even wanted to. you had been raised a hunter and you hated it. when you were six your biggest fear was tornadoes but by the time you were seven your biggest fear was being torn apart by one of the monsters you had learned to fight.

castiel was so happy about the baby, so excited. he knew you would be a fantastic mother and he couldn’t wait to have a baby with you. he knew the baby would be loved unconditionally by so many people, too; you, him, dean, sam, jack, mary, and eileen - all of whom lived in the bunker.

as the months went by the pains grew almost unbearable. you took time away from hunting and had to stay in the bunker. castiel always made sure someone would be in the bunker with you (preferably not alone with jack, who tended to ask questions that scared you - “what if the baby is like me and you have to push a full sized person out” for example). most days cas would stay right next to you but on the rare occasion he needed to be on a hunt, you’d be alone with either eileen, mary, or one of the brothers (rowena visited a couple times, but that was more for trying to find some magical tylenol for the immense pain). you didn’t mind castiel going on hunts, in fact you wished he’d go on more so you wouldn’t feel like you were holding him back.

one morning you woke up and the pain was horrible - it felt like the baby was stabbing you from the inside. castiel tried healing you, but it was no use. the two of you decided an ultrasound was necessary.

“what?” you practically screamed, your eyes wide with fear.

“there must be some kind of mistake?” castiel knotted his brows and stared at the black and white screen in shock.

“no mistake, three heartbeats,” the doctor smiled slightly, wanting to make you feel better, but it obviously did nothing.

“cas i can’t push three kids out!” you whispered. he was holding your left hand in his and standing beside you, his right arm was draped over your shoulder. “cas- castiel i can’t! i- i’m not strong enough! i won’t!” tears were streaming down your face when you turned away from the screen and to the angel.

“could you give us a minute?” cas asked the doctor, she nodded and left. “honey it’s gonna be alright.”

“three baby angels, cas! three! how- how the fuck am i supposed to push three angels out of me, cas?” you were practically sobbing at this point. “i- i’m gonna die, aren’t i?”

“no! no you won’t! i promise you, i will not let you die,” he pulled you into his chest and rubbed your back lovingly. “i know this must be scary, triplets is- it’s gonna be painful.” he kissed the crown of your head.

“but three babies! i mean if i do, by some miracle, manage to give birth and survive, how are we gonna raise three kids, cas?” you wrapped your arms around his torso, pulling him as close to you as you could.

“well, we do have four adults and a nephilim excited to help,” he answered, causing you to laugh lightly. it’s true, you had all the support you could need.

cas drove the two of you back to the bunker and you were met with said four adults and nephilim immediately asking where you had been. the five of them were on a hunt and got back while you and cas were at the ob/gyn. you hadn’t left the bunker in months so they had assumed the worst.

you told them the news and they all reacted differently than you and cas. they were so excited, it made you realized they really wanted to help raise the kids. (infact, they had all began thinking of names and had cleaned out the room next to your’s and cas’ for the babies.)

castiel knew that your pregnancy wouldn’t last as long as a normal pregnancy so he wanted to come up with a birth plan. dean purchased new burner phones for each person that were never to be silenced or turned off and the only people who had the numbers were the seven of you. the second you went into labor, someone near you (or you, if you could) would call castiel immediately. if possible they would also notify the others.

another couple months or so went by. you were due any day now - but you had been due any day for over two weeks. you had gotten somewhat used to the pain and rowena had come up with a simple spell with some herbs that you’d mix with your tea every couple hours to help with the pain. garth had moved into the bunker temporarily - he was a trained doula after having to deliver werewolf pups. rowena moved in temporarily too, but that was more for moral support and pain management.

“cas you haven’t left the bunker in over a month! go on this hunt,” you assured him. it was a hunt close by and he was going to take jack with him.

“promise you won’t go into labor til i get back?”

“i won’t let these kiddos leave,” you smile, patting your stomach playfully. he gave you a peck on the lips before leaving with jack.

a couple hours in, you began getting long, sharp pains every few minutes. rowena was the one who recognized the pains as contractions.

“you’re going into labor, we need to get you to the birth room.” she took your your hand gently but you whipped it away.

“no, no i promised cas i’d wait for him,” you shook your head. “the babies are just gonna have to stay put for a whi- ah!” you scrunched your face in pain, holding your stomach.

“okay, we’ll get cas on the phone, we can pray for jack - they’ll be here before you know it,” she tried to reason with you and motioned you to follow her. you shook your head vigorously and didn’t move your feet, absolutely terrified of what was about to happen.

“holy shit,” your eyes widened, cloudy with tears. “my water- i think my water just broke!” you both looked down. “that’s- that’s broken water!”

“exactly hun, you’re going into labor you need to let me help you to the birth room, okay?”

“oh- okay,” you nodded and she helped you to the room. she called out that you were going into labor as she walked you over.

about a month ago the brothers and jack came home to the bunker with a hospital bed from the maternity ward. you didn’t ask how they got it, but you were grateful they did. everyone helped set up the room; towels, blankets, a mini freezer for ice chips, and just about anything you might need while in labor and giving birth.

sam and dean carefully helped you onto the bed. mary called cas and within seconds he and jack were in the room.

“cas!” you smiled, relieved to see him.

“hey, y/n, how are you?” he asked, rushing to your side and tightly holding your hand.

“i’m in pain, cas, i’m about to push three celestial beings out my vagina!” you said dryly.

“right, right, okay it’ll be okay, though,” he kissed your forehead. “you’re gonna be okay. jack’s here and he will keep you alive and well.”

“okay,” you whispered.

“time to start pushing, y/n,” garth announced.

within the hour you had pushed all three babies out. three identical baby boys; with cas’ piercing blue eyes and your winning smile. you were absolutely exhausted, but you were alive. you were holding one baby, cas was holding another, and garth was holding the third.

“so, what’re we naming the little guys?” cas asked, a huge smile on his face and his eyes not moving away from his new baby boy.

“this one’s sam,” you smiled down at the tiny being in your arms. “he’s the biggest.”

“then that makes this little guy dean, he’s a smallest,” cas laughed a little in response. dean would’ve been annoyed at the height joke but he was so honored you were naming a kid after him.

“what about this little guy?” garth asked.

“bobby,” you smiled.

no one went on any hunts for almost two weeks. they all stayed and helped with the babies. baby dean would be named dean jack y/l/n, baby sam would be named samuel charles y/l/n, and baby bobby would be named robert garth y/l/n.

[daenysthedreamer101]

Daughter of Steel and Bronze ~ HOTD

Ch 14 - Total Eclipse of the Heart

HOTD x Targaryen!OC, Targaryen!OC x Harwin Strong

Warnings: Daena is not doing well, she gets jelaous, like really jealous/ Minor mentions of blood, death, fainting spell, overall chaos, and angst

A/N - it's a long one guys, so buckle up and get some snacks lol

Corresponding episode: HOTD 1x05

HOTD masterlist

"In the waning months of the year 115, a Royal wedding was held - Crown Princess Rhaenyra was married to Ser Laenor Velaryon, heir to Driftmark and the future Lord of the Tides. He was said to have arrived at King's Landing on the back of his dragon, Seasmoke, the same way his mother, Princess Rhaenys, arrived at her own wedding on her dragon, Meleys. 

The wedding was not without scandal. To everyone's surprise, the grieving Princess Daena showed up. She recently lost her lady mother, Rhea Royce, and was not expected to attend. Many said that her somber behavior was an ill omen that contributed to the violent event at the end of the wedding - the murder of Ser Joffrey Lonmouth."  

(Fire & Blood, Being a History of the Targaryen Kings of Westeros, by Archmaester Gyldayn)

~

115 AC, Runestone 

The cold wind howled through the night. Lady Rowena stood at the foot of the table as four Silent Sisters took care of her late daughter's body. Never in her wildest dreams, did she think she would bear witness to this - her only child, cold and dead in front of her.

"My lady, you may wish to leave the Silent Sisters to their work. It is ill luck to look upon the face of death." Maester Cirion said to her. 

"The Stranger has taken many people away from me: My parents, my lord husband, my brother, and now my daughter. I assure you Maester, he cares little whether I watch or not." Rowena replied quietly. 

"If not for yourself, then you should leave for your granddaughter. I'm worried her mind will spiral. The Princess had always been quite attached to her mother. I'm afraid Lady Rhea's passing has unstabilized her state of being." Measter Cirion suggested. 

"A raven must be sent to the Eyrie. Lady Jeyne must know of my daughter's passing. And to King's Landing, of course. I can trust you will deal with those messages?"

Maester Cirion bowed slightly. "Of course, my lady. At once."

~

"Ser Harwin."

He turned at the sound of his name. It was Lady Rowena. Her hair, usually neatly held by a hair net, was now loose. Her eyes were bloodshot and there was a crease in her brows. There was a large wooden box in her hands. 

"My lady?" 

"Ser Harwin, forgive me for seeking you out in the middle of the night but I'm afraid you're the only person I could think of for what I need," Rowena said as she handed him the box. 

It wasn't too heavy but something was definitely inside it. "Give this to Daena. Let her talk about it. Distract her mind. And if you can, encourage her to get some sleep before the...before the funeral." 

"What is it?" Harwin asked. 

"Her old dragon egg. The one that never hatched. Daemon never bothered to return it to the Dragonpit and it has stayed here ever since Daena was born." 

Harwin remembered Daena talking about this egg and how angry she was it never hatched. 

"I hear she refuses to sleep." Rowena comments. 

"My sisters tried everything but she is...restless," Harwin answered somberly.

Rowena cast her gaze down and shook her head. 

"She needs you, Harwin. Now more than ever. Be there for her, please." Lady Rowena pleaded. 

"Of course, my lady."

~

Gently opening the door, he found her sitting on the room floor, next to the fireplace. Her back turned to him, he couldn't see her face, only the back of her head. Her silver curls were now loose, reaching down to her waist.

She was crouched, her knees close to her chest as she stared into the fire. She didn't seem to notice him, or at least, she failed to react. He slowly approached her, setting the box next to her. 

"Princess..." He called for her as he crouched next to her. 

No reaction. 

Sighing, he took hold of her hand and squeezed it. "Daena." 

This seemed to break her stupor. She slowly turned her head toward him. Her lilac eyes were red and puffy, her face tear-stricken, her silver curls messy. It broke Harwin's heart into a million pieces seeing her like this. Gently, careful of her bruises, he took hold of her face. He wiped away the tears. 

"My love...please. Talk to me." He cooed. This was the first time he addressed her in such a manner, yet she didn't seem to notice it. 

"There's nothing to talk about! My mother-" She yelled but as soon as the words left her mouth, her mother's death became so much more obvious and real. 

For the 100th time that night, she broke into tears. This time, Harwin was there to hold her. She sobbed and sobbed, drenching his shirt with her tears. After what felt like hours, she stopped. With her head on his chest, she could feel the beat of his heart; it calmed her down. 

Her eyes fell upon the box Harwin brought with him. Removing herself from his arms, she pulled the box closer. With her fingers, she traced the intricate carvings in the wood.

"I know this box." She whispered, sniffling. 

She opened it and her eyes fell upon the dragon egg inside it. The last time she saw it, she was a little girl, dragonless and fearful. She picked it up - it was dark in color, almost black with a violet tint to it and the scales glimmered purple in the fire. 

It was as magnificent as the day it was first laid in her crib. It was as heavy as she remembered. Laying it in her lap, she sighed. It had her mind racing - so many things would've been different had this egg hatched. 

She would've bonded to this dragon from birth, yes, but then she would've never claimed Vermithor. She didn't like that thought. Vermithor was her everything, she couldn't imagine her life without him. Speaking of her dragon...

"Vermithor. I want to see him." She said as she caressed the egg in her lap. 

"...It's the middle of the night, my love."

"So?"

Harwin sighed. "You need to get some rest before the-"

"I don't want to. I want Vermithor!" She repeated. She hasn't seen her dragon in over a fortnight. Both dragon and rider were getting restless without each other. 

"On the morrow, then." Harwin offered. 

Daena thought about it. She was tired from all the crying. She caressed the egg some more before putting it back onto the velvet cushion inside of the box. 

"I could do with some sleep." She commented quietly. 

Harwin sighed again, this time from relief. 

~

The rising sun was covered by the clouds; grey and heavy they were. Just like Daena's heart. Outside the walls of the castle, the funeral burial of Lady Rhea Royce was being held. All of the castle staff was there; stable boys, cooks, cleaning maids, guards, everyone. 

The older members of the staff wept, for they knew their lady well and they too were shocked by her sudden passing. But no one felt more pained by Rhea's death than the two women standing at the very front - Lady Rowena, her mother, and Princess Daena, her child. 

Grandmother and granddaughter held each other tightly, as if letting go of one another meant losing each other forever. Both were clad in black, from head to toe. Lady Rowena wore a long, black hood that covered her hair but not her face. Even in her darkest hour, she stood tall, a somber expression on her face.

Daena was a completely different story. Not expecting to attend a funeral, she had no appropriate black gown, so she borrowed one from Amanda. It was made of cotton with puffy sleeves and a high collar. 

On her head, she wore a veil made of black Myrish lace that covered her tear-stricken face. Her hair was pulled in a bun and she wore no earrings, bracelets, or necklaces. Only the simple garnet ring her mother gifted her years ago. 

Even the heavily pregnant Amanda was there; she refused to lie and bed while her aunt was getting buried. She stood next to her husband, Ser Jasper, and clutched her belly. She too was in a black gown with a black veil on her head. 

Harwin and his sisters were slightly off to the side, seeing as they weren't residents of Runestone, only guests. Both of the twins had their hair up. Hanna had a black velvet headband on her head while Joy wore a short black veil. Harwin too was in black. 

As the funeral went on, Daena felt her patience disappearing by the second; on one hand, she wanted to give respect to her mother one last time. On the other hand, she hated bearing witness to this. She wanted to run away from the darkness and the pain.

Finally, it was over. It was customary that after the funeral, the bereaved would go inside, raising cups and eating in honor of the deceased. But Daena had other things in mind. Detaching herself from her grandmother, she started walking toward the hill.

~

Ignoring all calls, she continued without turning back. From the other side of the hill, Vermithor appeared, hissing and clicking. She walked up the hill, determined to get away from any man or woman. Once she reached the top, Daena fell to her knees. Vermithor lowered his head, wanting to be closer to his rider. 

Feeling his need for contact, she lifted her veil, showing her face to her dragon. Vermithor's great amber eyes looked over Daena and he could see and feel her pain. He's been feeling her pain ever since she was assaulted weeks ago at her name-day party. With trembling hands, she touched his snout and leaned her head onto his. 

A deep rumble left his mouth as he nudged her body with his snout; it was his way of comforting her. Usually, she would play into it and pretend to fall. But not today. Today she stayed seated, her eyes glued to the wet grass. She could feel his hot breath as he opened his mouth and growled. 

A great wave of emotion washed over her - anguish, pain, a sense of injustice, a desire to just disappear, and anger. Anger at her father not being there for her. Anger at herself for not being able to stop her mother's passing. Anger at the gods for taking her mother away from her. 

Perhaps being next to her dragon amplified her feelings or perhaps she was just fed up with everything. Either way, the fire in her blood ran hot and rage flowed through her veins. Hot tears ran down her face as she beat her fists against the cold earth. Gripping the grass tightly, she screamed. Feeling her immense sorrow, Vermithor roared, his voice echoing through the valley. 

Pulling the grass harshly from the ground, she keeled over, sobs wrecking her body. Feeling the distress of his rider, Vermithor swished his tail against the ground, making the earth below him shake. 

~

Upon hearing the news of his wife's passing, Daemon knew he had to return to the Vale. Not because he cared for Rhea, but because of Daena. He knew how attached she was to her mother. 

Looking down from atop Caraxes he could see the castle of Runestone getting bigger and bigger. But something else caught his eye - on a nearby hill, Vermithor stood, furious and wailing from what Daemon could see and hear. Caraxes let out small clicks and whistles of acknowledgment as he descended and landed at the base of the hill.

As he dismounted Caraxes he could see someone approaching him. At first, it just looked like a big ball of black running down the hill, but he quickly realized who it was. 

"Kepa! Kepa!" (Father!) 

The frantic voice of his daughter rang loudly in his ears. Before he could register what was happening, Daena was in his arms. He stumbled a bit from the force of her hug. She was a sobbing, coughing mess, clinging desperately to him.

 "It hurts! It-it hurts. Daddy, please! Make it s-stop!" Daena babbled. 

"What hurts?" He asked as he guided both of them down to sit on the grass. 

"M-my heart! It hurts so b-bad. Daddy please!" 

Daemon didn't know what to say. He was never the best when it came to comforting people, but for her, he would try. He pulled her into his lap and played with her hair, just like when she was a toddler. 

"Mother is - she's...she's g-gone." Daena sobbed.  "Please don't leave me. Please. I need you. Stay." 

"I'm not going anywhere," Daemon promised. And this time, he meant it. 

Two months later

The royal wedding of Princess Rhaenyra to Ser Laenor Velaryon was to be held at the Red Keep in King's Landing. Lords and ladies from throughout the realm were descending upon the capital to attend this once-in-a-lifetime event that would unite the two most powerful houses in the Seven Kingdoms. 

Seeing as Daena was a member of the royal family, she knew she had to go. Perhaps, she could've used the excuse of being in mourning as an explanation as to why she would not attend. But once her father told her he would go, she knew she also had to go.

And now here she was, back in King's Landing, after almost a year in the Vale. Her grandmother decided to stay at Runestone, seeing as Amanda gave birth just one day after Lady Rhea's funeral. Harwin, Joy, and Hanna would join Daena in King's Landing. 

She, alongside her father, decided to arrive at the wedding on dragon back. The two stayed behind at Runestone and only started their journey south one day before the wedding. Her gown and accessories for the wedding were with the twins who had traveled down from the Vale over two weeks ago. 

Arriving at King's Landing in the early morning hours, long before sunrise, Daena made her way to the Red Keep. Immediately upon arrival, Daena was greeted by the twins who ushered her to her old room where she was to rest before the start of the wedding feast.

~

The great Throne Room of the Red Keep was transformed into a banquet hall fit for a royal wedding. The banners of House Targaryen and House Velaryon hung on opposite sides of the Iron Throne. A long table was set before the throne where the royal family sat.

With trepidation, Daena made her way to the Throne Room. This would be her first public appearance since the death of her mother. She was still in mourning and wanted nothing more than to seclude herself and ignore the rest of the world, but what choice did she have?

"Princess Daena Targaryen!" The voice of Ser Harrold Westerling rang across the Hall as he announced her presence. 

The Princess strode into the Great Hall, tall and gaunt. The black silk of her dress only accentuated her pale complexion and the emptiness in her eyes. Her dark gown flowed behind her, making her look like an unworldly wraith.

Murmurs and whispers could be heard all across the room but Daena paid them no mind. With her head high, she made her way up the stairs to the royal table. She curtseyed to her uncle and Rhaenyra.

"Your Grace. Cousin." She greeted politely. A look of pity formed on the King's face.

"My dear, I must say, I was most distressed to hear of  Lady Rhea's tragic passing. I know how close you were with her. I'm very sorry for your loss." 

Daena gave an awkward smile. "Thank you, Uncle."  

"Iksan sīr vaoreznuni, hāedar. Iksis konīr mirros kostan gaomagon?" (I am so sorry, little sister. Is there anything I can do?) Rhaenyra asked. 

"....Are you happy, cousin?" Daena asked. 

Rhaenyra seemed confused by the question. "I am." 

Daena nodded. "Good. At least one of us is." 

And with that, she sat at the edge of the table, somber and quiet. Lord Lyonel, who was sitting to her left, offered his condolences. As did every lord and lady who approached the royal table. She was getting sick of it and wasn't sure if she could handle it for another couple of hours. 

To her immense pleasure, Alicent was nowhere in sight as she was "still readying herself for the celebration" as His Grace explained to Jason Lannister. 

~

"Lord Corlys of House Velaryon; Lord of the Tides, Master of Driftmark. His lady wife, Princess Rhaenys Targaryen, and their son and heir, Ser Laenor Velaryon - the future king consort!" 

Dressed in rich fabrics embroidered with gold, House Velaryon made their entrance. Everyone in the Hall stood up and clapped. Once they reached the foot of the table, Rhaenyra walked around it and greeted Laenor and he kissed her hand. Daena noticed Uncle Viserys glancing at Alicent's empty seat. 

Once the Velaryons were seated, an unexpected visitor arrived - Prince Daemon. Strutting confidently down the Hall in his red and black clothes with a smirk on his face, he silently approached the table and gave his brother a mischievous smile. 

King Viserys wordlessly gestured for another chair to be added to the table. Daena watched as her father sat down next to her. He made himself comfortable in the chair and once he did, he turned his head toward her. No smile was present on her face, yet her eyes gave away how glad she was of his arrival.

He grabbed her right hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed it. They continued holding hands, which warmed her broken heart just a little bit. 

Uncle Viserys then gave a speech about uniting House Targaryen and Velaryon and how much of an important ally they were to the crown. Yet, he stopped, looking at something down the hall. Everyone, including Daena, followed his line of vision. 

At the top of the stairs, on the other side of the Hall, stood Queen Alicent. Dressed in a dark green gown, she stood out amongst the crowd. She walked with a look of determination on her face and a certain fierceness was in her eyes, never before seen on the young queen. House Hightower immediately stood up, and everyone else followed suit. Except for Daemon and Daena, who remained firmly seated. 

Daemon completely ignored her, looking down at his nails, while Daena stared Alicent down with a look of pure disgust and vitriol on her face, not caring for what others might say in the slightest. Alicent walked past them, walking up to Rhaenyra. 

"Congratulations, stepdaughter. What a blessing this is for you." Alicent said connivingly to Rhaenyra and proceeded to kiss His Grace on the cheek. 

Daena caught sight of Rhaenyra's face - a look of surprise and worry was on her cousin's face. She also shared a look with her father; his pale eyebrows were raised and he was hiding his face behind his cup, almost like he was trying his hardest not to laugh. He obviously found Alicent's stunt ridiculous.  

~

Laenor and Rhaenyra proceeded to perform an Old Valyrian dance that imitated dragon flight. It was a sight to see as the two spread their arms like dragons do their wings and circled each other. Daena noticed how intensely her father was watching Rhaenyra and she couldn't help but wonder if Rhaenyra had something to do with Daemon's banishment. 

Rhaenyra in her stunning, pure white gown looked like the Maiden herself. Her silver hair was pulled up in an intricate hairdo with a bunch of rubies sewn into her hair. Daena could not say if she liked it or not. In the end, everyone clapped, Daemon more enthusiastically than others. 

Other people proceeded to stand up and join the soon-to-be-wed couple on the dance floor. Among them, Daena easily spotted Joy in her bright violet gown as she practically hopped her way to the dance floor. She somehow managed to drag Hanna along, which brought a small smile to Daena's face. 

Alicent then stood up and walked down toward the Hightowers and conversed with her uncle Hobert. Daena's eyes then fell upon her secret lover. Harwin was sitting next to his brother, Larys, and the two were having a conversation. 

She couldn't help but admire his rugged beauty; his dark blue suit sat perfectly on his broad shoulders, and his dark curls were pulled back into a bun, freeing his handsome face. Almost like he sensed she was watching him, he locked eyes with her. She instantly looked away, her heart skipping a beat. 

Her happiness was short-lived because the next time her eyes found Harwin he was on the dance floor, dancing with Rhaenyra! She did say to him before the feast she wouldn't be dancing as she was in no mood to do such things, but she didn't expect him to go and dance with her cousin of all people. 

She watched as Rhaenyra giggled at something he said and how happy he seemed around her. Why wouldn't he? She was the Realm's Delight. She was the crown Princess. She was the future Queen. Of course, he was enamored with her. 

Bitter jealousy nested itself into Daena's heart. Jealousy and envy. Jealousy, for she had no desire to share her lover with Rhaenyra. Envy, because Rhaenyra seemed to be the most desired woman in the Seven Kingdoms and had so many things Daena wanted.

Over the course of the night, Daena also noticed Ser Criston staring intensely at Rhaenyra. It seemed every man in Westeros desired Rhaenyra. Daena knew all of these feelings were irrational and knew Rhaenyra would never hurt her in such a way but, jealousy was a mad viper and its venom spread through Daena's heart. 

She was so deep into her head that she failed to notice Lady Laena sharing glances with her father from across the table. The food that was in front of her went cold for she had no appetite to begin with, now, even less. She also failed to see Joy dancing and smiling with Ser Elmo Tully. 

~

Her body was turned to the right, that way she wouldn't have to look at Alicent. The one time she did glance at Alicent, she appeared to be just as miserable as Daena was. At least that brought her some satisfaction. 

Her father proceeded to get up from the table and go into the dancing crowd. First, he conversed with Laena. After that, he went up to Rhaenyra who was still dancing with Harwin. Father said something to Harwin who stepped away. 

Harwin caught sight of Daena's face - it was twisted in anger. Her lilac eyes fell upon him and even from across the Hall, he could feel a rageful fire exuding from them. He wondered why that was. 

"Your dear Princess seems less than happy with you," Larys commented as Harwin sat down. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Look at her. She is fuming. I wouldn't be surprised if she started spitting actual fire upon you." 

"And why would she do such a thing?" Harwin inquired. 

"Something tells me she wasn't overly pleased seeing you dance with Princess Rhaenyra," Larys clarified. 

"...It was all in good faith." Harwin tried explaining. 

"I don't think that's how she sees it," Larys commented before taking a sip of his wine.

~

From her seat at the table, Daena had a clear view of her father grabbing Rhaenyra by the neck and pulling her closer. She furrowed her brows; What in the Seven Hells are they doing? 

Then, a scream echoed through the Throne Room. 

Something was happening at the dance floor, but thanks to the crowd Daena couldn't see a thing. She quickly stood up from her chair and tried peering through the mass of people. 

"Where's Rhaenyra?" Daena asked, those being the first words she uttered after hours of silence. All her negative feelings disappeared once she realized her cousin was in danger. 

"What in the Seven Hells is going on?" Uncle Viserys said as he got up. Quickly, a group of guards appeared.

"RHAENYRA!" Daena yelled trying to locate her. Daena tried looking for Nyra's silver hair but, she was never the tallest, so she was quickly engulfed by the mass. Joy and Hanna were also on the dance floor, so Daena worried for them as well. 

Uncle Viserys walked around the table, trying to locate Rhaenyra as well. It was absolute mayhem. Daena joined her uncle at the front. She locked eyes with Harwin from across the hall. 

"Get Rhaenyra!" She yelled. Harwin proceeded to fight his way through the crowd. 

Next to her, Uncle Viserys bent forward, not feeling well. 

"Uncle! Are you alright?" She asked, worry lacing her voice as she noticed his nose bleeding. He didn't respond.

As she turned her gaze once again to the crowd, in the corner of her eye something caught her attention. A short girl in a light pink gown held onto a chair for dear life; Lady Patricia Beesbury, Daena quickly realized. 

The girl, blind from birth, had no idea what was going on and a look of terror was on her face. Springing to action, Daena jumped from the small platform she was standing on and ran toward Patricia, her black gown billowing behind her. 

She could hear Lord Lyonel yelling her name in the background but she didn't care. She needed to help Patricia. 

"Patricia! It's me, Daena! Come with me, quickly!" Daena said to the girl and tightly grabbed her arm. 

There was no way they could get back to the platform so instead, Daena set her eyes on one of the pillars. With an iron-tight grip, she held onto Patricia and the two tried to escape the crowd. She heard what she thought was Harwin's voice calling for her, but she wasn't sure. 

The two girls were pushed and pulled by the crowd but somehow managed to escape. Daena pulled Patricia and swung her around, pushing her against one of the large pillars. There, they stayed hidden. 

"Are you alright? Are you hurt?" Daena asked, breathless. 

The poor girl looked horrified and had tears running down her cheeks. Daena looked her over and besides her hair being a mess, she seemed fine.

"I-I-I...Thank you. I'm f-fine."  Patricia spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. Daena let out a sigh of relief. 

Then everything went silent and the cries of Ser Laenor echoed through the Hall. Daena peeked out over the pillar and saw Laenor crawling over to a man's dead body. Daena would later learn this was Ser Joffrey Lonmouth. 

~

"We stand here tonight in thanks and praise to join two souls as one." The dull voice of the Septon continued reciting the wedding prayer. 

"Father. Mother. Warrior..."

Daena stood behind Alicent and Uncle Viserys. Her tight bun was now loose and barely in shape, thanks to her little rescue only minutes ago. Lord Lyonel was to her right. She couldn't have imagined a worse outcome for a wedding; a man dead and the rest of the celebrations canceled. 

"Hear now their vows." 

Rhaenyra approached Laenor, kissed him on the cheek, and said her vows. 

"I am yours and you are mine. Whatever may come." 

Laenor did the same, but truth be told, neither of them sounded honest or happy about it. 

"....I proclaim Laenor of House Velaryon and Rhaenyra of House Targaryen to be man and wife...Now and forever." 

Daena's head was pulsating, almost like someone took a hammer and was hitting her repeatedly with it. She gripped the skirt of her gown tightly, taking in small breaths through her nose. Her left wrist, the one sprained months ago, was hurting as well.

All this newfound chaos only worsened her already fragile mental state. Now her cousin's wedding was ruined, her father was gone, again, and she didn't even know where to start with Harwin. It was all too much.

It seemed she was not the only one feeling that way. Uncle Visers keeled over, his crown falling from his head. Rhaenyra, Alicent, Lord Corlys, and Lord Lyonel all rushed to help him. Closing her eyes, she sighed. Her ears were ringing and her vision was becoming fogged. An uncomfortable heat spread through her body. 

I can't take it anymore.

Without even thinking, she started walking away, leaving all that mess behind her. The click of her heels echoed as she practically ran toward the door. She barely missed the puddle of blood still left on the floor. 

Harwin stood in front of the Throne Room, waiting for Daena to come out. Suddenly, the great doors were opened and she came rushing out. Not noticing him, she started walking briskly down the halls of the Red Keep. 

"Daena!" He called for her. She seemingly ignored him and started sprinting toward the grand staircase. 

He started running after her. 

Right when she reached the stairs, she fell to her knees, her hand grabbing onto the railing. 

He caught her just before she toppled over. "Daena! What's happened? Tell me!" 

"The king has fallen...Call the measter..." She whispered, her voice weak and broken. 

"What? What do you mean?" 

He grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him. He called her name, asking if she could hear him. Her gaze was blank and distant, unfocused. The grip she had on his arm lessened. She leaned her head onto his chest and then she went limp.

"...Daena? My love, please! Get up!" Harwin pleaded, his usually stoic voice now ripe with emotion. 

He picked her up and carried her to her chambers with haste. He hated the feeling of her limp body in his arms. He wanted to scream from the top of his lungs. Once again he failed to protect her and the shame pierced his heart. 

[lol-jackles]

https://www.tumblr.com/lol-jackles/751492455317274624/at-every-convention-j2-talks-about-a-new-season-of

Do you really think a SPN revival would work without both Sam and Dean? (Asking non-aggressively. Tone is hard to convey in text.). We have seen every spin-off concept without them both fail so far.

I’m not saying a good story couldn’t be told with Dean II focus, but the magic behind SPN was always Jared and Jensen together. Otherwise, it’s just another found family, supernatural story (and there are a few). It was Sam and Dean’s unhinged codependency and J2’s chemistry that made the OG SPN so compelling.

Personally, at least, I don’t think I’d care about a story that didn’t have both brothers.

I wish Jared (and Jensen) wouldn’t hype a revival if there isn’t any real intention behind it. Surly people are showing up at cons without dangling the carrot, and if no revival happens they will dry up eventually. They already are. Yo an extent. Teasing a revival is not “what I want to hear” if it isn’t actually intended.

Ugh. I hate Hollywood BS. Even the nice actors, why say they care, are lying to you.

I should have clarified that the revival ideally be a mix of Dean II stories and Sam and Dean stories set between 15x19 and 15x20. Fans and Jared like to think there was 5 years between those two episodes and as long as J2 maintain their weights, they can pull it off.  With Jack remaking heaven and keeping the angels away from earth and Rowena keeping demons away from the Winchesters, the brothers’ hunts return to the more simple days of monster hunting.  My personal favorite fanfic idea is Sam’s adult hunter grandchildren (played by Colin Ford and Brock Kelly) time travel back to 2020 to search for a valuable artifact, only to run into Sam and Dean one month before 15x20.  The grandchildren of course cannot tell Sam and Dean who they really are as Sam and Dean help them find the artifact.  As the grandchildren spend more time with Sam and Dean, they come to really like Dean and want to warn him of his impending death.  But then they realized that if Dean lives, Sam won’t leave hunting, won’t meet their grandmother, and they will cease to exist.

This will be the length of limited series as there's no 20+ episodes anymore and instead release 10 episodes for couple of seasons.

Jared and Jensen know that WB is going to attempt a revival or spinoff sooner or later, might as well keep their names attached to it because you never know if the next WB executive may try to make their mark by saying Sam and Dean who? Jared in particular doesn't want the inevitable spinoff or reboot or revival to dilute the Supernatural brand. Think of George Takei's public complaints that every new Star Trek spinoff was diluting the OG brand.

[castielsprostate]

there should've been a cruise episode where they just re-enacted suite life on deck and they have to solve some mermaid/kelpie/maybe kraken case and everyone comes along. i'm talking crowley in an hawaiian shirt, rowena on the deck, charlie and claire having fun, castiel sipping on random cocktails he keeps finding, dean treating it as a vacation and going ham in the lounge, garth and bobby are along as "crew", and sam being the only one actually trying to solve the case. and at the 1:30h mark sam goes "well, maybe it's not a case after all" 1 minute later the boat gets fucking. torn in half. it's the kraken. next episode they pretend like nothing ever happened

[angelsdean]

you probably noticed this but: right after dean finishes telling the CBGB story, he says “john friggin winchester” and takes a shot, and the jacting joices in that moment are… god. i mean the jacting joices are there the entire time ofc but they kinda give *overemphasizing this as a ‘cool john’ story* to me at first, but in that final moment—dean purses his lips, he shifts in his seat, he stares into the distance… he looks bitter. it’s like dean allows himself to feel bitter about this story for just a second, when sam and cas are no longer looking at him ://

(the exact moment i’m talking about is in a gifset you reposted recently)

Yea there's definitely a vibe throughout the whole thing that he's like, telling it as this "funny anecdote" but underneath there's more feelings brewing about this story. Like the story itself comes up because Sam prompts him to tell it, so it's not even Dean's first thought.

Even Cas asking them "You loved your father?" and Dean's response, "With all I had" is like, on the surface you can take that as a positive statement but it's also pretty vague when you really poke at it. It's like, okay and how much love for your father DID you have? It's not the same as a resounding "Yes, of course!" It's more, "I loved him as much as I personally could, given everything." And I do think Dean loved his father. Dean is full of love and he cares even when people might not deserve it. But, we also know he's no stranger to criticizing his father (as he literally says in the next breath that John was not winning any Dad of the year awards) and acknowledging that he was put through shit he did not deserve at way too young of an age.

Even him saying "damn if he wasn't there when we needed him" it's, I mean, he's literally criticized John for being a deadbeat and leaving them and not answering the phone and putting them in danger before so this line immediately rings hollow. And in the context of the scene it makes sense that he'd say this to Cas because Cas is specifically asking them about John as a way of understanding what a father is supposed to do. He prefaces his questions about John with the fact that HE never knew his father and thus has little experience with this whole Claire situation. He's looking for guidance, so it makes sense that Dean would over-embellish a little and want to paint John in a better light for the sake of telling Cas that "yea a good dad is there for their kids." Which we Know John wasn't always there for them. (Side note but all of this ALSO ties into Rowena and Crowley's subplot this episode, how she abandoned HER kid, wasn't there for him, left him vulnerable but is trying to be there now etc etc. Thematically it's an episode abt imperfect parents and their children). And the fact that Sam prompts the story to me says that Dean was probably just going to leave it at that, simply giving his advice to Cas that good dads are always there for their kids.

But anyways, all this to say, I can definitely see Dean feeling bitter about the story at the end there. Especially as the happy little mood drops and he's no longer trying to "give advice" and is reminded of the case, Claire, and how his own experiences actually relate to hers. It's like he finishes telling the story Sam prompted him to tell in the first place and he remembers, "yeah and that was fucked up. and dad might've been there THEN but what about all the other times he left us vulnerable and open to be preyed on. and now Claire is in the hands of this pseudo-guardian who is also putting her in dangerous and vulnerable situations, and and and."

[ananke-xiii]

“Regarding Dean” is an okay episode, the perfect episode to place between “Lily Sunder has Some Regrets” and “Stuck in the Middle with You”. It feels filler-y but it’s totally not because it shows us where Sam and Dean stand as far as s12 main themes are concerned: family&love.

To the surprise of probably nobody, we find out that Sam is struggling a lot when it comes to how he positions himself within his family and around the people he loves. Dean, on the other hand, is walking on a much safer ground (which seems like a joke since the ep is literally about Dean slowly losing his memory but I’ll get there), he’s ready to move on to the next chapter of his life, a chapter where his relationship with his brother is not his only&main focus.

Who are the other members of Sam and Dean’s family? This episode tells us it’s Mary and Cas. Even though, so far in the season, Mary has come and gone, Cas has spent a considerable amount of time with none other than Crowley and the brothers have spent a couple of months in prison, the episode explicitly highlights multiple times that Mary and Cas are their family, no matter the amount of time they all actually spend together: what matters is the infamous bond between them.

And who’s feeding this bond? Who’s actually keeping in touch with Mary and Cas? Who’s the primary point of contact? Dean, of course. At the beginning of the episode, when Sam meets Dean at the waffle joint and realizes Dean is maybe drunk and his smartphone is dead, he says: “All right, well, I'll text Mom, make sure she knows to get a hold of me in case of emergency. And Cas, in case he tracks down Kelly”.

So it’s safe to say (and it is because we’ve already seen in past episodes that Sam is definitely not the one playing games and texting with Mary, nor the one calling Cas or receiving calls from him: people in this family know who to contact and it’s not Sam) that Sam is somehow detached from this family dynamic and, we’ll later discover, doesn’t really know what to make of this.

After Sam discovers that Dean is not hangover but hexed, the first thing Dean says is: “Look, we could figure this out, okay? Don't go callin' Mom or Cas with this”. Mmmm, interesting. We’re back to Mary and Cas. Again. And why shouldn’t Sam call them? And, maybe more importantly, why Sam doesn’t call them anyway? So maaany questions :P

The last time Mary and Cas are mentioned together again is in the mirror scene. Dean is regarding himself in the bathroom mirror, trying to remember who he is and he defines himself as follows: “Ahh. Okay. My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Uh, Mary Winchester is my mom. And Cast—Cas is my best friend”. So Dean defines himself based on his relationship with the different family members: brother, son, best friend. Once he starts forgetting who these people are he also starts forgetting himself:

“My name is Dean Wi—Winchester.

My name—My name is...

My... My... I don’t know”.

This is crucial. The scene is quite tragic but it’s telling us an important truth: what matters to Dean, what’s important to him to the point that it defines who he is, is his relationship with his family, with the people he loves. I said that it’s quite tragic because, at least to me, it’s a bit bleak that Dean doesn’t know who he is without other people. But I’ll come back to this point later.

So who is Dean? The reply comes right after the mirror scene from Rowena’s mouth: “Oh, you're a killer, Dean Winchester”. And this is super interesting because  just before we had this dialogue:

Rowena: You can really remember nothing, can you? What a gift not to recall the things you've done.

Dean: What have I done?

Are people the things they have done? Rowena could’ve said “You kill people, Dean” but no, she says “You are a killer”. And okay, the use of the verb “to kill” can start a debate on morals&justice&law (what’s the difference between killing and being a killer etc) but not the point here. The point here being that Rowena, regarding Dean, is confusing being and doing but Dean is not. He replies: “Wait, I... I kill people?”.

Rowena continues in her “misunderstanding”:

Rowena: But... but... though you may be a stubborn pain in the arse with the manners of a Neanderthal and the dining habits of a toddler, everything you've done, you've done... for the greater good.

Dean: Oh, and that's supposed to make it okay?

Rowena: I wouldn't know. You help those other than yourself. But me, I've done horrible things, and I told myself it was fine. It was the price of power. And power's what matters, right?

Then I met God and his sister. The two most powerful beings in the universe, wasting it on squabbling with each other. I thought, if—if they can't be happy, or at least satisfied, how can there be any hope for me?

Okay, so now we maybe have a clearer picture of who Dean is: he’s a killer (or he kills people) but he does so for the greater good. To help people other than himself. This is not exactly news to us, I mean, this episode is not telling us anything actually NEW about Dean but the catch is that it’s not about him, it’s about regarding him. How people perceive him and how he perceives himself. The last being the most important thing, we’ll have the answer at the end of the episode.

Rowena also drops the “happy” bomb. She’s talking based on the assumption that she must do things in order to be happy, even if these are horrible things, things she tells herself she's fine doing them because it’s the price of power. We’re starting to see the old theme of the “price of happiness” and Rowena thinks she’s paid it but she’s still unhappy and she’s becoming hopeless.

(Cas' love declaration in s15x18 echoes Rowena's dialogue, apart from the Dean thing (you're not a killer aka you're not how your enemies regard you, you're the most caring man aka you're how the people that love you regard you etc), Cas' words circle around the same concept: happiness is not in the having, is in the being or, maybe even more importantly, is in the giving oneself permission to be your true self)

Now we need to talk about Sam. While Dean is having an existential crisis in the bathroom, Sam drops another fucking bomb: “You know, I've seen my brother die, but watching him become... not him... This might actually be worse”.

Excuse me, sir? I mean, this is a very very loaded thing to say. To Sam Winchester seeing his brother dying might be better than watching him become not him. Which is also incorrect, because Dean is not not becoming him, he’s just Dean without "the weight" of the past on his shoulders. (btw, will somebody please give a hug to this giant man who's lived a life where death is o-kay and what's worse is living and not knowing how to move on? Please??? He needs it!) I think this says more about how Sam feels about himself than about how he feels about Dean and his relationship with his brother. And I think I’m right because at the end of the episode Sam explicitly says he was jealous. Sam really should be the one regarding himself in the mirror (and it’s a fucking shame that we didn’t get something like this for Sam because god, it’d be bomb) trying to remember who he is because Dean might be losing his memories but Sam is totally lost and in the dark.

He doesn’t call Mary or Cas because ??? but he does call Rowena for help, Rowena magically teleports and immediately arrives (okay she has an agenda but she does come super quickly, let’s give her that), she agrees to help them and to all of that Sam says: “I obviously don’t trust you”. Which, to be honest, fair, Sam I approve your long-lasting distrust of everything that has to do with Crowley because you have real reasons to do so. But it’s also time for you to learn to create meaningful connections and you cannot do so if you’re not willing to trust people. (important: Rowena tries to steal the Black Grimoire in this ep, the same book that she’ll try to steal in s13. Sam will then give her the one page she needs for her spell, so, you know, way to go Sam! It takes him one whole season to trust Rowena with one only page of the book but, progress).

Okay, time to wrap this rambling up with the final scene. We have this dialogue right here and it’s so gooood:

Sam: So how you holding up after the spell?

Dean: That thing kicked my ass.

Sam: You know, I gotta be honest. I was actually, uh, a little jealous at first.

Dean: Of what? The curse that nearly killed me?

Sam: No, just, you know... some of the things we've done, we've had this weight for... forever. And seeing it gone, uh, you looked happy.

Dean: Huh. Well, look, was it nice to drop our baggage? Yeah, maybe. Hell, probably. But it wasn't just the crap that got lost. I mean, it was everything. It was us, it was what we do, you know? All of it. So... that's what being happy looks like? I think I'll pass.

Sam and Rowena were a little jealous at first. Because Dean showed them life without the weight of the things they carry, the things they’ve done. Dean looked HAPPY. We can infer that Sam and Rowena are not happy, they do feel the weight of the things they’ve done and they would like OUT. They still have a long walk ahead of them to discover who they are apart from what they do and decide what’s next, what they decide to do, who they want to be and what are the actions that can lead them there.

But Dean, Dean is almost there, people. He’s not lost at all, even though he was the one with the brain almost gone. “It was us” and “it was what we do”. The distinction for him it’s clear. And he has weighted the pros and the cons and he has decided that IF that's what happiness is, if happiness is just forgetting about the crap, forgetting about the past, he will pass. He’s not willing to pay the price for a happiness where he doesn’t have a connection with his family, where the people he cares about (and for whom he does very bad things) are not there. The price for the supposed happiness is not worth Sam, Mary and Cas.

Earlier I said that I thought it was bleak, you know, not knowing yourself apart from other people. But the last scene where Dean is riding Larry (and he’s not yet under the spell so he’s Dean-Dean there) gives a lot of unexpected hope.

The song in the background is nostalgic and, frankly sad:

“So dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy

Dream while you can

For soon, you'll be a dreadful thing

My son, you'll be a man”

But it’s appropriate. Dean has accepted that, for him, caring for the people he loves is what constitutes his happiness. He has accepted that “horrible things” have been done and maybe will be done in their names. Acceptance is key: he’s on the right path to discover new parts of himself. He doesn't want to lose "the crap" because losing it means he'll also lose the people he cares about. And without the these people, without Sam, Mary and Cas, he doesn't yet know who he is. But he wants to find out. He wants to move on. And he wants to move on with the people he loves, doing "the good and the bad", not alone, oblivious and fake-happy. It’s bittersweet as all changes are but it must be done. He’s ready to grow up, ready to be a man, ready for love, ready to start a family, guys :").

(unfortunately it'll all go to pieces when Cas dies and Mary disappears in the AU (OF COURSE Dean will lose his will to live after that, because he was still in the process of differantiating himself from others, but he was SO there ffs) so thanks for nothing s12)(s14 "Lebanon" thankfully comes back to this theme and there Dean finally says, again and out loud for the people in the back, that he's okay with the choices he's made because they resulted in this crazy-ass, totally weirdo, supernatural family and he loves it and he's good with that. PERIOD)

[kitkasworld]

Watching season 15 is a different kind of pain. In a typical season when a major character died you had a 85% chance they would come back at some point, but not in season 15. Sam stabbing Rowena and saying a heart felt goodbye, but it’s fine she’ll probably come bac- oh shit there’s only 17 episodes left. Cas confessing his love for dean and then being engulfed by the empty, but it doesn’t matter cause just imagine how cute their reunion will be when Dean gets him bac- oh shit there’s only 2 episodes left??? Fuck dean just got impaled on a piece of rebar but there’s no way he dies he’s one of the main characte- wait there’s only 20 minutes left. Sam’s dying peacefully with his son after living a life where he has to remember dean for longer then he lived with him, but that’s fine I’m sure they’ll fix it next seas- there’s 5 minutes left….

[shallowseeker]

Rambling about the Macleods and Castiel friendship today:

I looooove how Rowena and Crowley will go out of their way to annoy everyone:

Rowena (11x03)

Rowena: You wouldn't think a road trip with two such strapping lads could be this tedious. Shall we have a wee sing-song? Sam and Dean (in unison): No!

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Crowley in early 12x03: YAY ROAD TRIP!

Unlike in the past, Crowley is making himself as ADORABLE AS POSSIBLE THIS SEASON, ESPECIALLY TO CAS. Hilarious change of tactics. Truly. Crowley and Rowena both want friends so badly!

Crowley singing!

12x03

&

Crowley singing again!

12x15

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Crowley is ALSO blowing a lot of hot air this season. Which continues into the next episodes.

12x03

Cas, as usual, not reacting much to Crowley's attempts to wound. (This is partially why Crowley goads him; the game is in getting Cas to react, which... he almost never does.)

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But it's is soooooo funny, though. Crowley calls himself a "Jay-Z" and a POWERFUL demon and keeps trying to make digs at Cas as only "kinda powerful"...

...and yet insisting Cas go ahead of him, BWAHAHA. I love Crowley so much. I never thought about how Metatron-coded hs is a lot of the time, and it's... hilarious. (I'm a huge Metatron girl, so.)

"You first, Cas, go go!"

//

Also, I'm 99% sure this is the era where Rowena notoriously flipped on Cas, deciding he was super desirable, and I'm 99% sure this drove Crowley insane.

///

Rowena is in her dating-any-men-possible era, and she instantly starts velcro-ing herself to Cas. Later we'll see her go, "Ooooh, is the handsome angel there. Hi, tweetie pie!"

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But yeah. Metatron, Crowley, and Rowena want to be popular kids and have friends soooooooooooo bad and I love them all.

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Literally, all Crowley wants from life is to steal Sam and Dean's (and Cas's) roles. As we saw in s10, he HATES work. He wants his life to be one long fun road trip, filled with booze and bar-hopping.

///

Also LOL at Sam assuming Rowena got some licks in and did some damage. I love that he has this wonderful assumption of Rowena's strength:

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Crowley tries much harder than usual to muster up (transparent) bluster. He's feeling insecure, lost. He wants friends, family, security. I think he's partially throwing his weight around because Lucifer represents his deepest insecurity: his job.

Beating Lucifer is the last peak, and maybe if he climbs it, he thinks, his life will finally even out.

&

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AHAHA. Crowley loves being annoying, and he loves trying to break Cas's poker face.

///

And speaking of uncool, Sam and Dean are pretty "uncool" this episode too, LOL!

&

VERSUS

Despite the others nagging him, it's CAS who establishes a rapport and gets the "in" this episode.

Cas does this being being unashamedly uncool, not being a yapping Hell-king, or trying to appear "hip" like Sam and Dean do.

///

And Cas's stoic heroism seems to rub off on him. Crowley, not willing to fight Lucifer for Rowena in 12x02:

Crowley, who deep down wants to be more heroic like Cas, Like "Superman"...

...Is now trying his best to be a little more of a hero, following Cas's lead (he says it's because he hates Lucifer, but we'll do Crowley take up for friends and even the rescued-girl-of-the-week in later eps: Stuck in the Middle (with you) AND Somewhere in Between Heaven and Hell.

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A hero's entrance:

//

And again, I had a meta about this before, but it's sooooo interesting that Lucifer is using Cas as a Chuck-stand-in: "Took you long enough," like he's been waiting for Cas, specifically. Like he wants a reaction out of Cas specifically.

//

And you know what else is fun? Lucifer attacks Crowley brutally with a guitar

And two seconds later Cas doles out the same thing to Lucifer.

ANYWAY.

This is the era when Rowena starting referring to Cas as "the handsome angel," and he actually gets fidgety and shy about it, and Crowley is probably losing his mind over Rowena's developing crush on him, especially since Cas, by all appearances, treats Rowena so nicies in comparision to Crowley.

BUT! In the next episode, Cas is a little nicer to Crowley, playing along by calling him Agent Zappa. Seems like they're KINDA friends now.