#SEE IF WORDS AND MY LAPTOP WERENT BEING MEAN TO ME

[pastelwitchling]

I love the way you write Michael so much

He's protective and jealous and possessive but he's not controlling

They're codependent but not in a toxic way

Like you write a real relationship not some 2 dimensional crap

Kind of a prompt? I loved your one shot that was Alex being bait for a the military guy, but Michael and alex WERENT together yet. It would be so cool to see your take on a similar situation but now they're married, bonus if Kyle is also overprotective and just as mad as Michael

@brittz-2123

***

                “No,” Michael demanded. “No way.”

                “I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Kyle groaned, arms crossed, “but I agree with Guerin.”

                “Told you they’d love it,” Alex said dryly from where he was bent over a table, studying something on his laptop screen.

                “Alex, no,” Michael argued. “We’re not using you as bait for some Project Shepherd military freak.”

                “Besides,” Kyle chimed in, “you destroyed their entire underground op years ago, what’s one stray soldier going to do?”

                “Plenty,” Eduardo sighed, standing at Alex’s side, his eyes also narrowed at the screen. “Project Shepherd’s entire objective was to destroy the alien race from the inside. One wave is all it takes to start a flood.”

                “Fine,” Michael growled, “whatever, but why does Alex have to go?”

                “Because I’m the only one they’ll trust,” Alex said, voice frighteningly hollow and eyes even more so as he said it. “Word might’ve gotten around that Gregory was the one who shot dad, Clay’s off the grid as usual, and Flint’s just starting to get his head on straight, so I don’t want him near this.” He met Michael’s gaze, a sad smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I guess it doesn’t matter what I call myself.” He looked down again as his smile dimmed. “I’m still a Manes. Nothing’s changed.”

                Michael clenched his jaw. He hated this. He hated that Alex sounded so empty, like he knew that the Manes family name would follow him around forever and was resigned to the burden. He hated it worse that he couldn’t do anything about it. No matter how tightly he held onto Alex, however many kisses he pressed into his skin, how fiercely he promised him he loved him—especially on Alex’s worse days—Jesse Manes’s legacy kept following him around.

                Even when he was dead, the bastard was still giving his son orders.

                “That’s not true,” he said, and came around the table to grip Alex’s shoulders. “Everything’s changed, Private. For one thing, you’re not fighting this damn battle alone anymore. I’m right here, every step of the way. You’re not doing it alone, Alex.”

                Alex’s expression softened, and he took hold of Michael’s wrist. It felt like a reassurance to the both of them. Like Alex was trying to calm the distress in Michael’s heart as much as his own. Always protecting him, always looking after him, always there for him.

                That, Michael realized miserably, is what he needs from me right now.

                “Say . . .” he started slowly, “say I’m okay with this. Would we be close by? And I mean seconds away, if that?”

                “We’d be watching him like a hawk,” Eduardo promised, “with men on the ground, too.”

                “Then that’s where I’ll be,” Michael said. “The ground, right next to him.”

                “Guerin,” Alex shook his head, “that’s too dangerous—”

                “I’m invoking my husband card here, Private,” he argued. “We either do this together, or not at all.”

                Alex’s eyes warmed, and he chuckled under his breath. “Michael . . .”

                Kyle sat on the edge of the glass table. “And I’m invoking my best friend card.”

                Michael pointed, mouth already opened to argue, then deciding it wasn’t the time, merely said, “Later.”

                Kyle shrugged, unimpressed. When Michael turned back to Alex, he saw him looking from him to Kyle. He smiled, touched and amused.

                He cleared his throat. “You guys know I can handle it by myself, right?”

                “That’s kind of the point, Manes,” Kyle said with a fond shake of his head, and Michael’s grip tightened on Alex’s shoulders.

                “You’ll never have to again.”

***

Happy Malex Monday ❤

[mysplaced-pen]

Birthday Sunshine~

@thepetitekitty here is your belated bday fluff I promised! Sorry I didn’t make it on time, but I hope you like it still!! Remember that I love you, you are amazing, and I am still So Glad to be your friend💛 

[A/N: this is the song I refer to. listening isn’t necessary, but if you were curious~ ALSO sorry its not under a cut, but I wanted to make sure you could read this ^^;;]

The RFA crew knew how to throw a party, it's what their organization did. So when they heard that it was almost their new member’s birthday, they went into action. Seven didn’t even have to try to get a hold of V, he called Seven. And he already had an amazing plan.

Setup started the morning before, all the members gathering together in a party location chosen by V. It was the first time all of them gathered in a long while, but their excitement was obvious. “Okay...I have an idea of how to set this up and Luciel has MC’s security taken care of, but I wanted to see if anyone had other ideas before we start.” V said, looking at all of the other RFA members. People he considered his family.

“I have more of a question, actually.” Yoosung said, looking a little wary. Of course he was. V knew he didn’t have the blonde’s full trust. “Yes, Yoosung?” He motioned with a smile. “How would we know what MC would like as presents? We’ve never even seen her…” Seven raised an eyebrow at V, giving him a look that basically screamed ‘he has a point’. V sighed, but nodded at Luciel. “You can show them the picture, but nothing else.” Seven grinned, pulling out his phone. “Don’t worry about presents either, I got that covered. We were thinking like, any other ideas. Someone taking her out all day and leading her back here? We bring her family? She’s celebrating with them today, though. Oh, and here’s that picture.” He held his phone to the other four. “She is the target for Operation: Birthday Party.”

The four of them gathered closer to look at the picture, all having similar reactions. “She’s cute, isn’t she?” Seven said with a smirk. “How dare you keep this from the rest of us?” Zen said, scoffing slightly. “She is!” Yoosung said excitedly. Jaehee rolled her eyes at them, but smiled nonetheless. Jumin turned back to V, “Luciel said she was celebrating with family today?” V nodded. “I think a surprise party would be better. It’ll give us more time to prepare. Assistant Kang, will you make an invitation?”

“But how is she going to get here? And she’s going to stay in that apartment all day? On her birthday?” Zen brought up. “Luciel could bring her over.” Jumin said, but Seven shook his head. “No can do, Mr. Chairman-to-Be. I have to stay here and keep watch over the place and the apartment - whether she stays or not. I think it’s actually safer for someone to take her around for a bit. Anyone volunteer?~”

It ended up being Zen. Who was honestly more than willing...of course he was. “And one more thing!” He said after it was decided. “Yes, Hyun?” V asked. “I have an idea, for what you were talking about earlier?”

----

Zen sent a text to MC, asking to meet him at this cafe that was apparently close to the apartment. Why V and Seven still couldn’t give him the address, he didn’t know, but part of him preferred to show up to the apartment with coffee for both of them. Or actually, that would be a bad idea. What if he got her something she didn’t like? Or she thought he was a creep? Or- “Uh, Zen...right?” A voice said, making him look up to see MC. Heck, she was even cuter in person.

“At your service, birthday princess.” He said with a smile, standing up and moving to pull out the chair for her to sit down. “The RFA have quite a day planned for you.” She let out a short laugh, putting her elbows on top of the table and resting her chin on her hands. “Really? Do tell me about this day the RFA planned for me.” Zen tilted his head, raising an eyebrow in amusement, “If you want a coffee, you should get it now. So I could just show you instead.”

----

The two of them kept occupied by doing quite a few things. 

He took her to a little shop where he bought a necklace with a little charm of her birthstone. “The others have the rest of your gifts, but I couldn’t help myself.”

They went to a little museum where they could go and view the artwork, took various pictures, and talked about...well, everything. In that little museum alone, they already felt like they knew each other better.

And since they spent more time in those two places than Zen expected, they only had time to stop by a photobooth before Seven texted and said they were ready.

“Ready for the grand finale, birthday princess?” He turned to her with a smile. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

----

The two of them arrived at this building. “This is where the RFA parties are usually held. So when we get to work on that, we’ll come back here. But for now..” Zen said before opening the door, revealing the other four RFA members, who popped some party poppers and yelled out, “Happy Birthday, MC!” 

“You get to see us all earlier than we thought,” Seven said, running to her and putting a party hat on. “There’s presents and cake waiting for you, but first!” He took her by the wrist and pulled her towards the center of the room, where a chair awaited. “A little something from the RFA to it’s newest member~ Enjoy!” He patted her shoulder, making her sit down before he ran off again.

Music started on speakers MC didn’t even know were there, but one by one, the RFA came out from various hiding spots, snapping in tune. And one by one they started singing.

“When you slightly smile at me, You’re so dazzling, you shine down on me,” Yoosung started.

“Let’s be together today, have fun. You make me elegant, Audrey Hepburn~” Seven next.

“How can you shine so much? You’re my perfect delight,” Jaehee sang, smiling

“My breath stops. Beauty itself is you, sunshine,” Even Jumin joined in both singing and dancing.

“You’re my sunshine, you’re so dazzling, my sunshine. All of you is sunshine,” Zen made his way to MC and bopped her nose.

“You look pretty with any style. Wait I wanna make a photograph for you,” V sang with a grin.

And all of them finished with “You’re my sunshine, you’re so dazzling, my sunshine. All of you is sunshine!” Yoosung and Seven bringing out a cake, the RFA posing in front of her.

“Welcome to the RFA, MC,” they said in unison, “And happy birthday!”

[blxetsi]

armin arlert, mikasa ackerman, and eren jaeger polyamorous headcanons (modern au)

armin arlert x gn!reader, mikasa ackerman x gn!reader, eren jaeger x gn!reader, mikasa x armin x eren x gn!reader

warnings: uhh fluff, this is very long, reader has a gf b4 getting w ema,

this is like my first post since feb that isnt a request 😍😍😍 how did i pull this out of my ass

- obv eren, mikasa, and armin have been besties since childhood so its no wonder they all got together first 🤩🙏

- and theyre all hot so why wouldnt they wanna date each other

- i think armin and eren wouldve gotten together first, and then invited mikasa into their relationship

- the three of them have been officially going steady for like over a year now, and its going really well

- they didnt really expect you to drop into their lives tho

- youre an old friend of historia's and you two reconnected after you moved to the city, securing yourself a decent paying job working as a writer for the city paper

- you usually get the boring stuff, never able to get a good story to write about, focusing your time on heartwarming stories in the community or the sports column

- its boring but it pays the bills

- you were thankful when historia called you during your lunch and asked if you wanted to get drinks at a bar with her and a couple of other friends

- of course you said yes

- so historia and her girlfriend ymir picked you up after work, having dinner with them after a long week was the best, but you were a bit nervous to meet all of their friends

- thats how you met eren, mikasa and armin

- at first you were sure that mikasa and eren were dating, seeing as mikasa had her head on the taller man's shoulder, while his arm was wrapped around her

- but when armin leaned down to give mikasa a kiss before heading off to the bar you werent so sure

- ymir pulled you away to get more drinks and explained to you what the situation was, while commenting on the way you gawked at the three of them before

- you were embarassed to say the least but they didnt bring it up that night so you hoped the throuple didnt notice (they did)

- you really hit it off with all of them though, especially sasha and jean, and were constantly talked about among the friend group

- because of your demanding job dealing with writers block and deadlines you couldnt really meet up with all of them often, usually just having sleepovers at ymir and historia's apartment, the three of you drinking while you wrote on your laptop

- after a couple months of casual hangouts with historia and ymir and their friends, you kinda became one of them too which was nice

- you were added to the groupchat, you all followed each other on social media, and a certain brunet had taken a liking to you

- eren didnt know why exactly he was so attracted to you but he was, maybe it was your hair, or how pretty your skin looked even when oily or with breakouts, maybe it was your smile or your body or your sense of humor or you kindness or maybe it was all of it

- eren jaeger would always stay faithful to his boyfriend and girlfriend, but maybe they could add another person into the mix, more to love right ?

- he had only known you for a couple of months though, he didnt want to jump the gun and bring this up with his partners so soon, especially if they didnt feel the same way he did

- and it would be a bummer if you turned out to be a bad person or smth

- so summer rolls around with lots of memories being made with your new friends, as well as friends from work, and you get a girlfriend ??

- shes not really your girlfriend you two have only been out on a couple of dates and she kisses you a lot but, you havent talked about labels

- one night you, along with your friends are back at the same bar where you first met them

"so, tell us about the girl youre seeing." ymir says, smirking over her beer.

eren's ears perked up at the mention of you seeing someone. "girl ?"

historia nodded. "mhm ! y/n's been talking to someone recently, they've gone on dates and kissed and stuff."

"and stuff, jesus tori you make it sound like we've had sex." you sighed.

the blonde just laughed, leaning her body onto her freckled companion.

"well ? what about her ?" eren asks. armin slapped him on the arm, already having suspicions about eren's interest in you.

your shoulders sagged. "well, she's great and everything, truly..."

"but ? is there a but in this ?" connie asked. sasha started laughing at connie's use of the word but, while jean slapped the girl on the arm because of her reaction.

you shrugged, swirling what was left of your fruity cocktail in your glass. "well, i'm not sure. she's very lively, and sweet. but i don't know, i just don't see myself being able to be in a steady relationship with her."

"so you're gonna end it ?" eren asked. you thought he seemed a bit too eager about your failure in the love department.

"why do you care so much ? you like the thought of me being lonely ?" you shot back, before downing the rest of your drink.

"no i just-"

"i think what eren means is," mikasa intervened, her smooth voice calming you as she looked at you with a smile on her face. "is that there's no point in staying with her if you can't see yourself with her. don't lead her on."

you nodded. "you're exactly right my friend. which is the plan for tonight because i," you quickly checked the time on your phone. 8:17. "have a date with miss molly at nine, so i will be taking my leave."

the group engaged in a chorus of boos for leaving so early, while you chuckled and took the lighthearted insults thrown at you by sasha and connie with ease. grabbing all of your things you put down two twenties onto the table. "i'll see you guys later, have a goodnight." as you walked off you heard jean yell "have a good time you heartbreaker !" making you shake your head

- the date with molly went less then well. she yelled, and cried, and even tried hitting you at one point. your walk back from the park was spent blocking her on every form of social media you followed her on, and when you got back to your apartment you spent the night in a hot bath before retiring to bed

- meanwhile, armin and mikasa were trying to pry the truth out of eren, who was constantly denying his attraction to you

- finally mikasa took one for the team "eren, you aren't alone with the way you feel, i do too." this made eren more willing to open up to his partners

- armin doesnt say anything about you, only saying how youre kind. he doesnt feel the way that his girlfriend and boyfriend do, but he knows that may change

- soon enough, more time flies and christmas rolls around, with you all deciding to have a secret santa get together.

- historia invites everyone to her home on christmas eve, with ymir begrudgingly allowing it

- bertholdt and annie come too, reiner not being able to make it due to going home for christmas, while everyone else decided to stay in the city

- you picked out your secret santas at the beginning of november so you would all have enough time to find something for each other, you hoped whoever picked your name gave you something good

- after hours of games and karaoke and drinking you all decided it was time to open the presents

- ymir got socks from bertholdt, connie got an ugly beanie from ymir, historia got new pens from mikasa, mikasa got knitting needles from annie, annie got a dumbell from eren, jean got a not so appropriate t shirt from connie, jean gave sasha more comic books, armin gave new stationary paper to bertholdt, sasha gifted you that new biography you've been wanting to read and you gave armin your old copy of frankenstein by mary shelley

- he was surprised but very thankful, "how did you know i needed a new copy ?" "well i remember you said eren spilt water on your old one, and the pages just stuck together so i thought you might as well have mine"

- it warmed armin's heart that you remembered something so insignificant, and opened him up to the thought of being with you

- the rest of the night was spent with hugs and thankfulness, cheering when the clock struck 12 and it became christmas day

- after getting things cleaned up everyone decided it was time to leave, with armin, eren and mikasa offering to give you a ride home

- a ride where armin straight up kissed you in the backseat

- you stopped him of course, thinking that it was weird he would cheat on his partners right in front of them, while they were shocked all on their own for different reasons, armin who didnt have feelings for you KISSED you

- and surprisingly armin took the lead in explaining how he felt, why he kissed you, an apology for doing so, and an offer to start dating all three of them

- your heart was pounding in your ears and your entire face felt hot, it was probably the alcohol, or the way his lips felt so soft when they touched yours, so you said yes.

- its not smooth sailing from there

- youre kind of awkward

- this is your first relationship where you really feel like you could love these guys (you already do) but its also your first relationship with multiple people

- the trio start inviting you over more often, soon for sleepovers, and start inviting themselves over at your own place, mainly eren

- he just comes at random times, sometimes when youre not even there and waits for you, or stays and cleans up a bit before leaving

- armin and you share a deep love of literature, and you often find yourselves in hot debates about whatever youve read (mikasa and eren have to pry you two away before things get physical)

- mikasa likes to cook with you, she shares recipes that her mom taught her, and her and armin love to cook dinner together whereas eren is the breakfast maker of the household

- the first time you slept in the same bed as them you were so nervous your whole body thumped to the tune of your heartbeat, you were convinced armin could even hear it as he was laying beside you, but eren wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his large chest before whispering "youre as stiff as a board, relax honey"

- eren snores, mikasa drools, armin has those dreams where you fall and then violently wake up before you hit the ground

- slowly but surely you stop thinking about your relationship as the trio and you, but as all of you together, and that really helps you come out of your shell a bit

- you may still be in the honeymoon phase, and there may be bumps along the way, but you like being with armin, eren, and mikasa. they make you so happy, it feels like the happiest youve been in a long time

- you like watching eren and armin dance in the living room while you and mikasa cuddle on the couch, before the boys pull you two up as well

- you like when armin reads to you, his soft voice reciting the words of the great gatsby

- you like it when eren can just tell youve had a rough day, and pulls you into a hug like hes protecting you from all the bad things in the world

- you love being with them. you love them. and you think that theyre it for you

i rushed the ending bc im fucking tired but i kinda wanna do a poly!series with like sasha, connie and jean, or annie, bertholdt and reiner, or any other poly ships u guys may request !

so yeah pls give me feedback it rlly helps me figure out whether you want a polyamorous series (or just like what i write in general), and it would be my first series ever which would be super cool anyways

yeah requests open for poly!ships anyways

[honeydvew]

what's the biggest life decision (you feel comfortable saying) that you've ever made? do you ever think about what would've happened if you hadn't made a certain choice/how it would've affected your life?

canofworms0 downloading tumblr. i know that sounds stupid but honestly its real. im not allowed to have anything else in regards to social media. not instagram, not twitter, not snapchat, not tik tok, nothing. my mother knows i have tumblr so i dont know why she doesnt make me delete it (but it might have to do with the fact she thinks its like deviant art or smth) but im so glad she doesnt. as social-media-addicted-teenager as this sounds without tumblr my life would fucking suk right now. i wouldnt have the things i do and i wouldnt be as happy. and i can give you examples.

lets go in order of events shall we :)

1. i downloaded tumblr some time last year (around may i think) and i immediately found a blog i liked! they were a 13yo like me they shared some of my interests and they seemed really cool! so i followed them. i dont know this blogs current @ but im so lucky i ever found them. a month or so later they posted about a server! it was a community server that they and some friends were in. i joined. thats where i met @starry-baby-katie and @gayishgothamite. and i love those dorks (affectionate)! we might not talk very offten but i think of them as people who are SO important to me. i love them with my whole soul and i dont know if my life would be as bright without them.

2. around 11/5 of last year i was scrolling through tumblr like usual. i saw an add for a server. at that point i was in maybe three servers on discord and didnt have many friends so i thought you know why not! its a mental health server and i wasnt in the best place maybe could benefit from it a bit. i joined and there were maybe 14 members including the mods. we didnt really think the server would go much of anywhere for a while and i honestly didnt interact much for a while but you know what. now that server is such a huge part of my life i dont think i would be here without it. i mean i love every last person there so much. literally all of them. @the-final-braincell bun bun is honestly one of the best people ive ever met. they’re funny and joyful and just the best to be around. talking to them always cheers me up and she always manages to make me laugh. were on the mod team together and she is such an important part of the team that we wouldnt run as smoothly as we do without her. i love them so so much and if i hadnt gotten tumblr? would never have met them. then theres @sir-tigerr. tiger. just. tiger. hes so amazing and i honestly would die for him. i love him so much and just talking to him can make my day. i wouldnt be as happy and the sever wouldnt be as fun without him. and @reallyradrat server owner :) sammy im so grateful for sammys existence just.. overall. they made the sever. they wrote the add post. and they’re such a good friend. i cant imagine not having them in my life they’ve made such a difference. so just... thank you <3 and @tiredconfusedandgay!! cub!! i love them!! theyre such a joy to be around and them being in the server is such a lucky thing! it wouldnt be as fun and bright of a place without them and they bring so much every time and i love seeing them in chat everyday. and with leo comes @canofworms0 baby child. anni is so amazing. just overall. so happy and funny and just an amazing person to be around and im so happy to have them in the server. @lentil-darling !!! kittycat!!! i love them!! they're so amazing and have helped me through things on more than one occasion and I'm so grateful for that and for them. they're such a good friend and i always have such a good time whenever we vc! its honestly something i look forward to! and speaking of VCs @gayest-unicorn is amazing. VCing with them is so fun and i hope we can do it more often. and on top of that just messaging them is great! and they're puns (ouns ;)/ij)? FANTASTIC! i hate puns by most means but whenever they crack a joke it makes my day 4000 times better. he's just amazing and i think he deserves the world. cant say enough praise to him :) so i low key have to speedrun this bc im running out of time to type this but all of these people also deserve the world and i wouldnt know them if it wasnt for tumblr @smoll-lightning-bug  @totally-tater-tot @savemycrustysoul @a-broken-laptop @nantuckets-weaver @undead-mutt  @hufflepuff-pide-honey-badger @human331279 and just so so many more whos @s i didnt get or couldnt find. i am so grateful to have in my life because of this server and that post. that post literally changed my life forever and i cant imagine my life without it and without these people

3. a few months went by and i made some mutuals and friends and whatnot. my at the time friend irl then made an account. i was really excited! why wouldnt i be! friend made account! awesome! but another thing about that? i had a crush on them.. and they could now see my account. but fuck it it was a great trade off. we spent a lot of time sending each other asks and messaging while in quarantine and it was just great. then i saw an ask game and i rebloged it. i realized this ask game said “♻ are we a qpp or what?” as one of the asks. now im a coward and i could NEVER have done this outside tumblr in anyway but i took the chance. i sent them the post and said “you should rb this! you have followers that would interact im sure” and so.. they did. i sent the ask and they said yes :) five months later and we’re still dating. whos this amazing person? that my friend would be @mossofthecosmos the most amazing person ive ever met. theyre the light of my life and if it werent for tumblr i would still be a blushy, semi-verbal, embarrassed, mess around them. and we wouldnt be dating. i cant even imagine what that would be like. i love them so much and they make every day wroth living for me and if it werent for tumblr, i wouldnt have that. 

4. and ive made friends. so many of them. and i love them all so much! i dont talk to a few anymore but for the while we did they made my days and made me so happy. without tumblr i wouldnt have met @mimekyo or @books-andbiscuits who are both people that have made my life a brighter place! 

okay so i cried writing this and i cried HARD

bottom line nonie? this question is so loaded it took me three hours to write an answer and a stupid amount of words that no one will read all the way through

i cant put it into words but this website is one of the best things that ever happened to me and i cant imagine life without it 

[simpsiren]

rooftop star.

jung jaehyun x reader

Every time I look up in the sky. There's not a single star. It's alright, you're my universe, shine bright for me

main masterlist

description: you realised that love can bloom basically anywhere when you met a guy who entered your comfort space of the rooftop one day.

genre: fluff, strangers to lovers au

warnings: none

word count: 3,744

a/n: this idea just came to my mind while listening to rooftop by n.flying so i hope you guys will enjoy! if you guys have any requests or feedback please let me know :D

for a long time, you and your two close friends, Alex and James, wanted to go away from your home country. some place new and fresh, to start a better live. now you guys are finally living in your dreams of wanting to move to london, it didnt exactly turn out the way you wanted to, well it did. at least for a year.

now, you are just laying down on the long and wide wooden bench at your apartment's rooftop, looking at the sky like what you would do any other night, with your unfinished assignment scattered beside you along with your opened laptop with a blank screen. you would come to visit the rooftop every night, unless you had plans with Alex and James or errands to run of course.

no matter the weather, no matter the situation, you would always head there. in your opinion, you fet that you spent more time up at the rooftop than in your own apartment. its just something about the atmosphere of the place. no one ever came to the rooftop when you were there, the clear plastic that covers the entire rooftop to protect you when it rains, and the sky. you loved looking at the sky. whether there were shining starts filling up the sky or a black void of nothingness, you felt comfort in just looking at it. you felt as though.. it filled your loneliness since you werent able to meet your friends as often anymore as they were too preoccupied with their separate lives. you didnt have any other friends, nor did you bother to find some. you were fine with being alone, only because the sky was able to accompany you 24/7.

it was currently 1am, you sighed and you continued to lay down on the wooden bench with your forearms below your head. you tilted your head. you noticed here were stars. although it wasnt shining brightly, you were still able to see them. you turned your head sideways to face the papers that were all over the place besde you. you graoned as you forced yourself to sit up, gathering all the strength and brain power you had to complete the one assignment that your lecturer gave you for the week. you were already almost done so you might as well finish it by tonight so that you coukd have a break for the rest of the week. you pulled your computer towards you and took a deep breathe before getting back to work after a 30 minute rest from looking at the sky.

you were blasting out music while you were doing your work sincd you left your earpiece at your apartment. the music you listened to had you bobbing your head slolwy to the beat, the calming rhythm pushing you to do your work. just before the next song was about to play, you flinched at a voice that sounded like there was someone standing at the enterance of the rooftop.

"paris in the rain by lauv."

you tilted your head to the direction of the voice, shocked to see a man standing there. you couldnt see him clearly due to the darkness but you could make out that he was a tall man. "im sorry?" you questioned, gaping your mouth open slightly and raising an eyebrow. this was the first ever time you have seen someone coming up to the rooftop. you kept silent as you watched the unknown man walking towards you, his appearence becomig more clear as he stepped out of the darkness and entered the light of the rooftop. "the song you played. it was nice." the man said in a polite and slightly cheerful tone as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and placed his weight on his right leg. you looked at him up and down skeptically. he had light brown hair. he was wearing a plain dark blue hoodie and jeans.

"what are you doing here?" you asked him again, still stunned by how even a radom person showed up here. "you mean i cant enter?" he casually asked you back as he sat down on the floor. you wondered why till you noticed that the whole wooden bench you were sitting on was filled with your papers laying around.you closed your laptop and shook your head slightly. "no i mean i literaly locked the door. how did you-"

"i guess me being a locksmith has come in handy for once in my life." you heard him chuckle softly as he looked down on the floor before looking up at you. "please leave." you murmured softly as you grabbed a piece of paper near you and started writing something on it for your assignment. "this is a public place, you know? but it looks like youve made it your own." you glanced up from the paper to him, noticing that he was looking around the rooftop and looking at the decorations you put up such as fairy lights and lanterns.

“who are you?” another question pops out of your mouth. “you have way too many questions now dont you? alright im jung jaehyun, 23 years old.” the man now you know as jaehyun grins widely as he put his hand out to offer a handshake. “olivier rings.” you simply replied, not even bothering to shake his hand. jaehyun clicks his tongue and puts his hand back down to his lap. “nice name. so, why are you here at this ho-“

you immediately cut him off. “why dont you tell me why are you here? i am aware this is a public space but no one has ever came here till you showed up and i am very uncomfortable with talking to strangers. please leave.” you watched as his face grow dark and emotionless. you clearly made him upset, but he was quick to force a soft smile. “im staying here. you seem like someone i can vibe with.” jaehyun shrugged and lifted his head up to look at the sky through the plastic dome. you laughed softly. “you sure you can vibe with someone like me?” you whispered under your breathe and you lay down on the wooden bench once again, looking up at the sky just like how jaehyun was.

the both of you were silent for at least 20 minutes, not interacting, just admiring the sky with full focus. “i think i should get going. i have a lecture tomorrow.” you sat up straight and yawned, waiting for jaehyun to respond. jaehyun tilted his head back down to face you and nodded in approval.

you stood up from the wooden bench and began packing up, picking up every piece of paper on the bench and placing them in your tote bag. you felt jaehyun’s presence beside you as he assisted you in gathering up your papers and handing them to you. you let out a soft ‘thank you’ before carrying your tote bag over your shoulder and holding the laptop in your arms. “i have the keys to lock the rooftop but i certain someone apparently got through it.” you rolled your eyes as you walked over to the exit of the rooftop that leads to a flight of stairs. you heard jaehyun chuckled as he followed behind you. “ill come by to fix the lock tomorrow, dont worry.”

jaehyun was quick to open the door before you do and turn to you to give you one last smile before going down the stairs and disappearing into the darkness. you stood at the exit for awhile, thinkig over what you have just encountered with a stranger named jaehyun. you sighed, hoping to not see him again as you turned off the switches to the fairy lights at the bottom right of the exit door and left.

the next day, you had just got home from your morning lecture. luckily for you, the major you took only had a fews days of the week when you had to attend for lectures. other than that, you would just complete your assigned work at home, giving you the opportunity to work in your comfort space aka the rooftop.

it was a nice day today since that after the lecture, you did not have much work to do and decided to take the day off. you went to the donut shop nearby your apartment to get your favourite donut, one that you would buy at least once every two weeks when you are free. today is your lucky day.

you head straight to the rooftop with your donut in hand. you figured that you didnt have to vsit your apartment since you have everything you need up at the rooftop. you have a place where you can lay down comfortably, you have all your necessities im your bag such as a portable, your laptop and the whole rooftop just felt like your second home. you opened the door, knowing that there was no lock anymore due to the man named jaehyun who broke it and entered the rooftop.

you released a deep long sigh of relief as you bask in the light coming from the sun, closing your eyes for a moment as your head tilts up to the sky. you stayed there for a moment before walking towards the large wooden plank that you call your bench and bed area and instantly lay down on it. well, it had a thin white mattress over it, with a huge furry yellow pillow. while decorating the rooftop, you really wanted to make it as comfortable as possible, and for the purpose of in case you sleep through the night on top there, which you have done several times.

you placed your bag beside the so called bed and looked at your phone. it was evening at this point and the sunset was just about to come. you sat up straight and took a bite of your donut before reaching to the small area that is between the bench and the edge of the rooftop to take out your portable speaker. you kept it hidden in case anyone comes into the rooftop but you have it charge in your apartment once in awhile. you connected your phone to the speaker with bluetooth and blasted music from your ‘chill playlist’ on spotify. the first song playing was by pink sweats. you hummed the lyrics and bobbed your head as you took another bite of the donut in one hand and look through your social media with your phone on the other. you instantly look up from your phone from you heard the door open.

you see a tall man. this time you were fully able to know who he was in broad daylight. “jung jaehyun.” you looked down beside him to see him carrying what looked like bubble tea, for two? “i knew you’d be here.” you licked your dry lips as you folded your arms and watch him walk over to the bench, placing the drinks on your foldable dining table beside it and took a seat next to you. you moved to the side a little to make a small gap between you two, still unsure if you could event trust him just yet. “how’d you know i would be here?” you asked him as you folded your legs.

“judging from the rooftop thing you have going on, it looked like you come here often. most people like to come up to rooftops to look at the scenery. sunsets, night skies and such.” jaehyun shrugged calmingly, extending his arm over you, to which you backed your body away a little, noticing that he was reaching for the bubble tea. he grabbed it and took a sip. “so i made an intelligent guess that you would be here to watch that.” you heard jaehyun chewing on the drink’s pearls in his mouth as he pointed his drink.

you looked towards the direction he was pointing at the see a beautiful sunset arising. you gaped your mouth in awe, the song in the background making the whole atmosphere more fitting. you softly smiled and chuckled, grabbing the other bobble tea on the table and poking a straw into it before taking a sip. “im guessing this is for me?” jaehyun turns to you when he heard the noise of the straw poking through. he nodded his head as he swallowed the last pearl that was in his mouth. “for breaking your lock.” you hummed as you watched the sunset.

“it looks so beautiful.” you whispered, just loud enough for jaehyun to hear. you heard jaehyun sigh in satisfaction. “definitely.” you and jaehyun took a sip of your bubble tea drinks.

“get me brown sugar milk tea next time.” you told jaehyun. your turned towards him when you heard him scoff with a smile. “what?” you asked in annoyance. “you want me to come back here again? says the one that told me to leave yesterday.” jaehyun rolled his eyes. you let out a ‘tsk’ in response. “well of course i told you to leave. i didn’t know you at all yesterday.” you argued back.

the sun has now set completely and the sky became dark. “so you assume you know me now?” jaehyun raised an eyebrow with a smirk appearing on his lips. “that’s wasnt what i meant- jeez you’re so hard to talk to.” you huffed and ran your hand through your hair as you admitted defeat, too tired to even argue with a man you just met.

“mind if i stay here till midnight or something? i have no other plans tonight, i have to fix that lock of yours, and this place really is a nice spot to look at the stars.” you stared at him as you hard what he said. does he like to look at the stars like you do? maybe he wouldn’t be so hard to vibe with after all.

that night, you and jaehyun talked for hours while looking at the night sky. you found that that he recently moved into the apartment next to yours and he was working a bookstore nearby. the habit that you and jaehyun share of looking at the sky was what started your whole friendship. little by little, the two of your grew closer and closer together. you two carried on with your separate lives of course, but you and him will always spend time together, even if it meant one minute, to meet at your rooftop and admire the scenery of your town, counting every star you see in the sky together, and even looking down, observing the people that walked by, making intelligent guesses on what they work as based on what they were wearing or how their lives looked liked.

by 6 months of being friends with jaehyun, the friendship became more intense, in the physical way. one day, jaehyun caught you crying as he entered the rooftop. you later told him that Alex got into an accident and was badly injured. jaehyun hugged you close to him to comfort you. of course, that is what anyone would have done if they seen you crying, screaming, and balling your eyes out. but with jaehyun, you felt safe and secured in his hug. just the way he hugged your body, gently brushing his hand through your hair as he talked about the stars and came up with goofy stories as to how each star came to be. you laughed with the way he comfort you as he looked down to stare at your eyes, fully immersed into you.

“if you need me, ill be here. ill be like the rooftop, your very own comfort space.” a single tear rolled down your cheek as your bit your lip, fully aware that your eyes are red and sore from crying too much. jaehyun brings his thumb up to get rid of the tear before pulling you in once more, your face landing on his shoulder as you were finally able to calm your body and let it rest against his, melting away at his warm touch.

“jaehyun?” you looked at jaehyun, who you have been cuddling with since 8pm. “what is it, oli?” jaehyun asked back, patting your head as his grip around your waist got tighter to bring your closer to him. “i dont see any stars out tonight. why did you keep talking about them?” you questioned jaehyun. the whole time you were together with him today, he talked as if there were millions of stars in the sky, but every time you look up, you dont see a single one. you just saw a blank black sky.

jaehyun chuckled as the brushed a few strands of hair behind your back. “ever since i met you, no matter what the sky looked like every night, i still see stars. not the ones in the sky, but the ones in your eyes.” jaehyun sighed as he brought his hand to cup your cheek. you stared at him, your eyes froze as you made eye contact with him, not fully aware of what he was talking about. “im aware there isnt a single star out tonight, but its alright. you’re my universe, so shine bright for me.” you blinked at him. he has always said flowery words to you for fun, but the look in his eyes felt like he meant those words seriously. you hummed, out of not exactly knowing what to reply. “you’ll find out what i mean.” was all jaehyun said as he suddenly noticed you falling asleep in his arms.

the next day, you woke up, you winced at the sun shining brightly as it blinded your eyes. you rubbed your eyes before sitting up straight. you realised jaehyun was gone. that’s weird to be frank, normally if you fell asleep, he would be there for you the moment you wake up. whether he was cuddling you close, or brought out to buy you breakfast. you shrugged and moved on with your day, thinking that he would be back by tonight.

wrong, he didn’t show up. every night, you waited and waited mindlessly, thinking that he would pop up at the door of the rooftop. you didn’t know where he went or what he was doing during the time he was gone and it made you worried sick. it felt as though he left you for no reason. your comfort space left, and you didn’t know what to do without it. the rooftop doesn’t feel the same without the presence of jaehyun. as time went on, you still carried on with your routine of sitting by the rooftop, but you felt an aching in your heart every time you step into it. “this used to be my comfort space, along with you. so why did you have to go?” you questioned yourself, one year after his disappearance.

one day, you were hugging your knees close to your chest as you cradled yourself slowly, while looking up at the stars. “its alright. you’re my universe, so shine bright for me.” the last important words that jaehyun said kept replaying in your head, still wondering what he meant by that. you took a quick look around your rooftop. “fuck.” you whispered as you broke down in tears, noticing how much you miss jaehyun. the feelings of your love for him only grew as time went on and you couldn’t hold it in no more. you needed him here, right now.

“oli.” you heard your name being called at the entrance of the rooftop. you immediately jolted your head towards the door. you see someone standing there, and you know exactly who it was. “jaehyun..” you whispered as you watched jaehyun emerge from the shadows, revealing himself after being missing for over a year. you broke down even more, letting your eyes run dry as you cried out loudly, screaming jaehyun name. jaehyun instantly ran towards you and hugged you, a feeling that you longed for too long. “sh sh oli. its okay, im finally back.” jaehyun lightly kisses your ear as he ducks his head into your neck. you cried into his chest as his shirts started to soak in your tears.

“where.. where did you go? i fucking missed you.” you murmured as you looked up at jaehyun, who’s eyes immediately softened as he looked at your crying face. he wipes the excess tears on your cheeks dry with the end of his sweater and sighed. “i had to move out of the country to visit my sick mother. since she was feeling better after a year, i headed back here.” you felt his hand on your head as soothing his hand over your hair like the good old days. you really missed him. his presence, his touch. everything. “you didn’t tell me you were leaving.”

you looked down as you played with his sweater, fiddling your fingers with it. however, jaehyun brings his hand to connect with your interlocking the fingers of both of your hands with his. he brought your interlocking hands up in front of you. “princess, i hinted at you, didnt i?” you blinked at him as you tilted his head, the last words that he gave before he went away popped in your head. “what do you mean by shine bright for you?” you asked jaehyun as you frowned. jaehyun dropped his hands, along with yours to your lap, his face moving closer in your lips were just inches apart.

“it meant that no matter where you are, if i look at the most brightest star in the sky, ill be reminded of you. it also meant that you should have faith that ill come back to you, since you’re my universe, and my only brightest star.” with that jaehyun pulled you in by your waist, brushing his lips against yours before bringing you into a soft and gentle kiss. you kissed him back as you melted into him, fully letting him deepen the kiss. you closed your eyes in satisfaction as you smiled into the kiss. you leaned in closer as you wrapped your arms around his neck. you pulled away for a moment as you stared at his face. “then shine bright for me as well, jung jaehyun.”

“as i will.” you pulled him in for another kiss. who knew that a love like this can be made from meeting at a rooftop?

[isthisthingeven0n]

cartier bracelet : j.w

brief summary: being something with jeff, based loosely on the lyrics of cartier by bazzi 

there are hints of smut, but literally nothing. merely implied tbh. also I took inspo from an old piece, you might recognise it you might not but it doesn’t matter either way. hope you enjoy :)

* masterlist * 

The first time it happened was meant to be a fluke, a drunken accident. One I enjoyed a little bit too much as I woke up beside him, the sunlight lining his jaw as he mumbled nonsense in his sleep. That was going to be the first and only time it should’ve happened, but not everything works out that way.

A month later, the second time it happened. We were all having a pool party at Todd's, I skidded and cut my elbow. He was the first to offer as he walked me inside to the bathroom. I sat quietly, having not been in only his company since that night. 

He was sweet and caring as he cleaned my arm from the crimson that covered it. I closed my eyes, drowning out the pain. But then I felt his soft lips against mine and I couldn’t resist wanting more. 

It was a feeling I wasn’t sure how to put into words at the time, but now I’ve learnt. Desire. 

There was a sense of longing to be with him whenever we had the chance. I would sit, scrolling through our friend's social media whilst we lay in bed, sweat glistening off of his forehead as he smiled over at me awaiting round two. 

Neither of us was sure where it was going, but we weren’t eager to call it quits, especially when the fun was only just beginning. 

*

Walking into the living room I sat down next to Zane, resting my head on his shoulder as he brought me into a hug. “How you doin’ baby.” He asks as I yawn loudly. “We keeping you up?” A laugh escapes my lips as I shake my head, lifting my hand up to wipe my eyes. 

“Didn’t get much sleep last night.” I mutter before glancing over to Jeff who smiles to himself as he sits with his laptop on his lap, editing a video. 

David walks in with his camera before pausing at the sight of me. “Holy shit.” He mutters as he walks closer, his eyes widening with joy. “You got a Cartier bracelet? How?” Based on his tone he’s completely shocked by the concept. 

Glancing down I let out a dry laugh, completely forgetting it was on. “I have my ways.” I shrug it off, but knowing David there was no way I would get out of the conversation that easily.

“You have your ways to a spare five thousand dollars?” Zane sits upright now, letting me fall face first into the couch. 

Keeping my head hidden I give David a thumbs up, receiving a light laugh from the other side of the room. 

“Oh hold up.” Zane mutters as he takes a hold of my wrist, moving the bracelet. “This is a love bracelet. Whose got you all loved up, Y/n?” 

Under my breath, I silently swear before lifting myself back up to sit upright. I briefly glance over to Jeff who wears a nervous smile. “Ever heard of self-love?” I laugh lightly, throwing them off as David shrugs his shoulders, lowering his camera before sitting by Jeff. 

Returning to my conversation with Zane I glance over to Jeff, seeing him sneak glances to me as I place my hand over the bracelet, shame crossing over me as the bracelet touches my skin. 

*

Standing up I reach over, wrapping my silk robe around my body as I walk without saying another word straight to the bathroom. “Hey, are you alright?” He calls out from the bedroom, but keep quiet as I turn the shower on, feeling the steam already rising as it begs for me to embrace the warmth I’m craving. 

The sound of him calling my name once again makes me sigh. “I’m just having a shower.” I respond as I slip the robe off before climbing in. 

Closing my eyes I hum to myself under the warmth, running my fingers through my hair until the sound of footsteps snaps me out of it. 

“God, you look fucking beautiful.” He mutters as he stares at me with a big smile on his face. “I could stare at you all day, you looking like that with that bracelet.” Glancing down I cover the bracelet with my right hand before reaching down for the soap. “Why’d you do that?” 

I let out a small sigh. “Are you ashamed of us?” I ask quietly before opening my eyes, staring into his deep brown ones as he raises his eyebrows in confusion. 

A scoff escapes his lips as he steps into the shower, closing the space between us. “Why would I be ashamed of you baby? I thank the Lord every day that he made someone as perfect as you.” He rests his hand on my cheek, caressing it before moving closer, kissing me softly. “If this is about the other day,” He trails off, knowing exactly what I mean.

“I know we don’t exactly have a definition for this,” I motion between the two of us as he smiles. “but my neighbours think you’re my boyfriend, my family are wondering about the guy I’m spending so much time with.” 

“Your parents want to meet me?” He beams as I shake my head in disbelief. “No, no don’t do that.” He places his hand under my jaw, making me meet his eyes as water pours down my back and flattens his hair against his forehead. “I just haven’t felt like this in a long time.” 

“Neither have I, Jeff.” I mutter in response as I sigh. “But is this just us craving one another or wanting more?” 

Jeff shrugs his shoulders before smiling to himself. “I guess there’s only one way to find out for sure.” He mumbles before stepping out of the shower and standing still before his smile grows. “How do you make that Cartier bracelet look worthless on your priceless figure?” 

“You smooth talker.” I joke before closing my eyes as I rub soap over my body, hearing him on the phone in the bedroom. 

*

“So, what’re we filming exactly?” I ask David as I sit in the passenger seat, fiddling with the ends of my hair. 

He grits his teeth as his eyebrows rise and I lean back towards the door, waiting for him to admit the reason I’m here in his car. “I had Natalie order me something online.” He reaches down between my legs and I tense up before he lifts something up and I immediately start laughing. 

“Can I taste your pussy?” I ask David who laughs harder before showing the camera the drink. 

“I want you to ask all the guys to taste your pussy.” He passes me the drink and I shake my head in disbelief. 

“You’re unbelievable sometimes Dobrik.” I mutter under my breath before I swap seats with him, having a practice round on him before we begin the prank. “So, David.” I bite my lip as I focus on his eyes. “I want you to taste my pussy.” I lick my lips before glancing downwards. 

“Oh my god, perfect.” He claps as I smile brightly. “They won’t know what’s hit them.” 

*

I force myself to stop smiling as Josh walks back into the house and I compose myself for the next victim. 

“How is this so easy?” I mutter under my breath as I give the camera a thumbs up, not even hearing the car door open and see as Jeff slips in beside me. 

“What’s up? David said you had something to show me?” He asks as he licks his lips, eyeing mine evidently. 

I straighten up before placing my hand on his thigh. “Jeff, how would you feel about tasting my pussy?” Swallowing back my laugh Jeff is almost unphased by the request as he shuffles in his seat, ignoring the camera entirely. 

“Right here?” He asks as I glance down, seeing his hand creeping closer and closer up my leg. “You know I’ll do it, baby.” He growls under his breath as he leans over, kissing me greedily. 

Pushing him off of me I let out a small laugh. “You’re going to kill me.” I mutter as he stares at me in confusion. “It’s rolling.” 

His eyes widen before he leans forward, glancing up to the viewfinder whilst I quietly sit in the corner of the frame. “Welp.” He mutters. “David, hello. I guess you’re the first to find out so congrats.” He laughs lightly before looking over at me with a warm smile. “Meet my girlfriend, Y/n.” 

[wintersxsoul]

The Night We Danced

Summary: Two dorks in love that have to wait to get drunk to confess their feelings.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Maybe some language, drunk people and I think mentions of sex?? 

A/N: This is my entry for my dearest @writingsoftheloser 1k historical writing challenge! I got the Victorian Era, so I came up with this longass nonsense. I hope you enjoy and as always, feedback and reblogs are free and make me really happy and motivated <3

  Bucky Barnes was a dancer.

He sometimes had flashes of his old life in the late 30’s and 40’s, long summer nights dancing with beautiful dames, little Stevie by his side laughing and stepping in the ladies’ shoes. Everything was much more simpler, happier, but war happened and the dances turned into battles, the warm hands that he was used to hold became rifles and glocks. The jazzy tunes turned into gunfire, dates turned into risky missions and the thought of a long happy life turned into dust when he fell off that train.

Bucky Barnes stopped being a dancer to be a soldier, a spy, a deadly assassin.

They had taken all he was away, all his memories, his hopes and dreams. Everything was wiped but not his motor skills or knowledge. They turned him into the most efficient soldier, cold and calculating, his only motive in life was completing his missions. He had killed mercilessly, not questioning even once who was in front of the gun, he just knew he had to pull the trigger.

Everything changed the moment Steve Rogers, his best friend since childhood, found him 70 years after being used and tortured. Steve saved him from the claws of Hydra and gave him the opportunity to gain back his own self, to finally give his life meaning again.

His life changed drastically when he joined the Avengers, he could use his unrequired skills to help people, to save lives. He had his closest friends, Steve of course, Sam, Nat and then he met you. Once he was able to recover almost all his memories, he had a long heartfelt conversation with Natasha since she had suffered in similar ways. The brainwashing, the body killing training, the horrors of the Cold War and the cruelty of the Red Room.

You and Nat were inseparable, both becoming SHIELD agents the same year. You were a freelance hitwoman, both of your missions were to kill the same target. But before you could kill each other, SHIELD stepped in and rescued both of you, seeing your potential and the ability to do the missions other agents weren’t able to. When Bucky first came to the compound, you were away because your last mission went badly and it almost killed you, so Fury and Steve decided it was better for you to lay low for a while. Months went by and Bucky’s curiosity only grew, he really wanted to meet you, since everyone talked about you like you were an angel. When the time came to finally meet you, everything he ever heard about you was not nearly accurate to him. You were as much of a mystery as Nat, but unlike her, you opened up to him fastly, trusting him blindly. You both held each other on your worst nights and were also there for the other when you needed a good laugh.

You could have never imagined that the infamous Winter Soldier could be such an absolute dork with such a pure heart and soul. At first he was a bit sulky and moody, he was like a ghost around the compound, but months of therapy and help from his friends turned him into the man he was today, the man you loved deeply, even though you lied to yourself trying to make it seem like a platonic feeling. For years you remained as best friends, until the masquerade ball Tony organized for Natasha’s birthday.

“So, what are your plans for the party?” You asked Bucky nonchalantly while you looked for costume designers online. He looked up from his book and shrugged, he really didn’t know what you meant but he knew you would elaborate. You closed your laptop and placed it on your nightstand, all your attention on your friend now. You laid across the bed, resting your head on his lap. You were staring at the ceiling so you totally missed Bucky’s adoring gaze.

“Well, apart from getting hammered with Thor’s Asgardian alcohol, I don’t really know.” You rolled your eyes internally at his comment. You laid on your stomach so you could face him, your chin resting on your hands on top of his chest.

“Obviously you are doing that, but it’s not what I meant.” Bucky chuckled and you rolled your eyes. You weren’t sure about asking him to be your partner, maybe he was planning on going with someone else, maybe he wanted to go on his own. You cleared your throat while reaching out to fiddle with the laces of his hoodie nervously.

“Are you going with someone?” He frowned, realizing that you didn’t assume (like he did) that you were going together. Maybe you were planning to go with a date? He knew it had been more than a year since you had dated someone so maybe you wanted to use the party as an excuse to do so?

“What you mean with someone? I d-”

“You should ask Sarah from Forensics, I’ve heard she has a huge crush on you. She’s sooo soft and pretty. I have her number if you wa-”

“Okay, Y/n stop right there. I am not going with Sarah or with anyone else but you.” His eyes widened at his own boldness but he quickly found a logical explanation.

“I mean, we always go together to this kind of shitty parties we both dread. But if you are going with someone else is fine.”

“Yeah, yeah I just thought that maybe you wanted to go with an actual date and not your best friend.” He tousled your hair and you whined jokingly. He mumbled “dork” and you stuck your tongue out.

“My best friend is pretty cool and when she gets drunk the party starts, so I am not missing that for Sarah from Forensics.”

“Oh god James, and I am the dork? You absolute dumbass.” You shook your head in amusement and sat on the bed, putting your disheveled hair in a low ponytail. You slapped him lightly on the right shoulder and got down of the bed, gathering your stuff.

“I can’t stand to see that beautiful stupid face right now, I have to look for a fucking dress. You better wear something in dark red cause, you know it-”

“it’s my color” he mocked you using a high pitched tone of voice and laughed at the face of disgust you jokingly pulled off.

“Fuck you.”

“Why don’t you f-” His sentence was cut off by the bang of his door closing but you already knew what he said. You rolled your eyes and made your way to Nat’s room since you needed to organize shopping days and all that stuff.

-

Bucky Barnes was a dancer and fortunately he still had some moves, but waltzing was out of his league. He knew what a masquerade was of course, so the fact that he had to learn how to dance a completely different style was...frightening to say the least. He talked about it with Steve so they both were headed now to a masterclass while their dates were out shopping. Nat had asked Steve as her date because she wanted to go with his best friend. Their friendship was the most platonic you’ve ever seen and watching them flirt and banter was the highlight of your days. Nat was a fantastic dancer of course, she used to be a fucking ballerina, so she offered to teach you some moves. She was the only one who actually knew your feelings towards Bucky because you had confessed them one night you had drank your weight in vodka and when you saw Bucky’s text asking you to please be careful, you laughed and told her. You didn’t remember that conversation and when Natasha tried to ask you, she realized she shouldn’t bring up the topic until you were ready to believe it yourself.

“Ooof Nat, should I really buy this expensive dress?” You asked her while checking yourself out in the mirror. The dress was absolutely stunning, made of a dark red taffeta or a similar material, short sleeved and a beautiful v-neck, not very revealing but enough to make your babies pop. The bodice hugged your curves and the skirt was puffy.

“Listen, Stark is paying for everything, that includes our dresses. So yes, you are going to buy it.” She stood up and lead you back to the changing room so she could purchase both of your dresses.

Steve sighed heavily at Bucky’s complaints. They’d been dancing for four hours straight and they weren’t getting any better, or at least that’s what they thought. Bucky really couldn’t believe he had been dragged into this mess just because he loved getting drunk with you under any circumstances.

“Come on Buck, don’t worry. You two will probably be too drunk to even stand, why bother so much in learning this shit?” Bucky rolled his eyes and nudged his friend on the shoulder.

“Listen pal, I wanna do this right. You know how much I love dancing so this is just an excuse to learn something new.” He could almost believe his own lie, but Steve knew better. He knew Bucky better than himself, so he obviously knew the unspoken thing that was going on between two of his best friends.

“Okay buddy, whatever you say. I just hope Y/n appreciates all this instead of laughing at you like Sam and Nat are probably going to do.” He muttered something to himself and left the room without saying a word.

“Fucking idiots, I hope they fuck soon.” Steve said to himself before turning around and smiling at the dance teacher.

“Let’s do this Janet, I have a very dangerous woman to impress tonight.”

-

“I really, really, really, really regret the day I gave you access to come into my room whenever you want to.” You told Bucky, who was laying on your bed on his stomach, his face buried in the pillows. You slumped next to him and buried your face in the pillows as well. You really thought you looked like idiots but you couldn’t care less.

“Can we stay here? We can watch one of those victorian romantic movies you love and get wasted on our own.”

“You know I would love to, but Nat would kill us. Besides, you hate those movies.”

“I was just trying to persuade you Barnes, you don’t need to be so rude.” You stood up and opened your first drawer, pulling out the two masks you had bought throwing Bucky’s to his head and he responded with a fake “ouch”. He sat on the bed and looked at you amused, the small mask in his hands.

“And you have the nerve to call me rude. I already have my mask and I won’t show it to you until tonight.”

“Wow, sorry for thinking about you and your shitty memory, old man.”

“You know what Y/n? I’ll see you tonight before I throw myself out of that balcony.” You giggled at his fake tantrum. You really loved your friendship with Bucky, because even though you were always joking around each other, you had your backs. He was always there and so were you.

“You want me to walk you to your room?” He frowned at you but his eyes widened when he realized what you were about to say, but you said it before he could cut you off. “In case you don’t remember where your room is at.”

“That was one time Y/n, please let it go.”

“Never.” And with that said, he left. You giggled remembering the first night you two got drunk together. It was the first time Bucky had tried Thor’s alcohol so he was excited to finally get drunk after all those decades. He drank by himself almost three flasks and encouraged you to drink a bottle of vodka on your own, so at 6 am, you were stumbling through your room floor because Bucky had forgotten where his own room was, so he wanted to sleep at yours.

You took a last look at yourself in your mirror and placed the mask in its place. It was a shame that Bucky had decided not to wear the mask you’d bought for him, but his taste was pretty great so you knew it was going to be amazing.

When you reached the party the place was already full of people. Everyone was dancing to the slow melodies or drinking at the bar. You noticed that Tony had removed all the furniture from the room so it looked like a grand dance hall, the usual modern lamps he owned were replaced by huge golden crystal chandeliers, the windows were covered by thick curtains that looked like the ones European palaces had. The cream and golden tones of all the decoration gave a really regal look to the party, the soft glow of the candles in the bar and the sound of champagne glasses relaxed your senses.

You fixed your long silk gloves and sighed, moving through the crowd towards the bar, where Nat stood chatting with who you assumed it was Steve, Sam was behind the counter pouring alcohol to his half empty glass.

“You mind filling this lady’s glass?” Sam smirked and you winked at him. He raised his eyebrow under his cream and red mask and he took out a tall glass.

“What would the lady like to drink?” He rested both of his palms in the counter, looking at you with an amused look in his eyes.

“Vodka on the rocks, s'il vous plait.” You heard Nat choke on her drink and Steve turned to look at you while Sam just poured your drink, a smile playing on his lips.

“Aren’t we starting a bit early, Y/n? Your date is not even here.” You shrugged at Sam’s comment and took the glass when he handed it.

“Since you all seemed so surprised with my drinking choices, I’m going. I need an unjudging friend right now.” You waved your hand gracefully and moved towards the centre, trying to find Bucky. After five minutes and an empty glass, you saw his bulking figure talking to some woman. You needed a moment to gather your thoughts because he looked absolutely sinful with the outfit he was wearing. The black pants marked all his muscles, specially his thighs, those fucking thighs that drove you insane and his ass...you shook your head trying to stop your mind. You needed another drink.

“Wow look who’s back and empty handed!” Steve said to the small group. You nudged him in the ribs and asked Sam for another glass of alcohol.

“Why are you this flustered Y/n?” Nat asked you when she noticed your flushed cheeks. You fixed your mask trying to hide your nervousness and failing miserably.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your three friends shared a knowing look and you rolled your eyes, finishing your drink in two sips and encouraged by the burning liquid, you went to where Bucky was. You could now see his whole outfit perfectly and your heart swelled. He was wearing a black ruffled shirt with a black and dark red embroidered vest and a black tail coat. His face was covered by a simple half Venetian mask, decorated with the same colors as the outfit’s. He was chatting with some agent you couldn’t recognize and you felt a pang of jealousy at how he was looking at her, smiling and touching her. At that moment you realized the alcohol was kicking in and that’s why you were having those stupid thoughts. You approached your friend and placed your gloved hand to his shoulder, indicating him that you were besides him and waiting for him to pay attention to you. You catched a part of the conversation and they were talking about one of the last missions the undercover agents did, so after a court nod from Bucky and a brief goodbye from her, his eyes were on you.

“Well, look at you!” He smiled at you warmly and you felt something flip inside you. “How did you recognize me?”

“Oh boy, you can mask that face all you want but you can’t mask those thighs.” You smirked and he started laughing at your comment, making you feel proud of your wittiness.

“How drunk are you already?” You brought your hand up between your bodies and pressed your thumb and index together whispering “a little” so only he could hear it.

“Lucky for you, I drank almost a flask, so that makes us dangerous already. Wanna dance?” He extended his hand and you took it accepting his invitation. You suddenly felt really nervous since it was the first time you were going to slow dance with him but unbeknown to you, Bucky Barnes felt sick due to his nerves. He wanted this to work, he wanted to show you and the world that he was still capable of being a soft person, not this cold calculative soldier with a dark past.

The feeling of his hand on your waist and your other hands intertwined was intoxicating you, your bodies pressed together, the only thing between you two were your clothes. You spinned around the room for what felt like eternity, time for you had stopped and everyone had disappeared.

You burst the small bubble you were both in saying you needed a drink, Bucky stopped swaying you and with your hands still intertwined, went to the empty bar.

“I’ve always loved the Victorian Era, you know?” He said while giving you a glass full of vodka, and took a sip of his flask. “The clothes, the courting, the chivalry and all that fuss.” He smiled sadly at you thinking that you wouldn’t notice.

“If you could, would you go back in time and stay?”

He took another sip, now longer, and shook his head. “Of course not, you wouldn’t be there.” He blurted out without thinking and you just giggled at the comment.

“Oh Barnes, don’t be so dramatic. I’m sure you would make good friends there as well.” You gave him a sincere smile and he shook his head again, taking another sip of the flask, this time a long one. You looked down at your glass and twirled the straw, looking at how the ice cubes collided with each other.

“I love you.” You jerked your head up and maybe it was the alcohol clouding your mind or the denial of your own feelings, but you didn’t notice his intense gaze, filled with love and adoration.

“And I love you too, you idiot. As my best friend, you should know that already.” You placed your lips around the straw and finished the whole drink, Bucky still looking at you shocked that you rejected his feelings without you noticing.

“No, Y/n, what I mean is that I’m-”

“You are what, Barnes?” Nat cut Bucky off and you threw yourself into her arms, kissing her face and wishing her a happy birthday. “I missed you, Nat. Where were you?” You started talking to her totally ignoring your friend, who got that as his cue to leave the party. He would never blame you for not feeling the same or not even noticing his feelings, that was totally on him, but he didn’t feel well enough to stay in the party. He knew you wanted him there, to get drunk together and then both of you ending up throwing up in the sink and the toilet, but tonight he needed to breathe, he needed to get out of the crowd.

“Hey, where is going Bucky?” Asked Steve while he approached Nat and you. You frowned and looked at the entrance, catching a glimpse of Bucky’s broad shoulders and hair leaving the party. “I’ll be back in a sec.” You said and stumbled down the bar stool, heading towards the entrance half running.

“We both know they are not coming back, right?” Steve said to Nat, a strong nod and a sigh answered his comment.

You ran as fast as your drunken state let you but before you could notice you slipped with the dress and fell.

“FUCK” You screamed to the empty hall and took off your heels and gloves, standing up trying not to fall again on your ass. Bucky was nowhere to be seen so you headed to his room, your head spinning due to the alcohol.

“What are you doing here?” Bucky startled you, making you lose balance but he caught you before you could fall again.

“I was just checking that you got to your room safely, since you know, you get lost and all that.” You laughed at his fake hurt expression and straightened your clothes. You noticed that he had taken off his mask and that you were still wearing yours. “Why did you leave?”

“I’m feeling a bit sick, I think I drank too mu-”

“James, if you don’t tell me what the fuck is wrong I’ll torture you until you do. The drinking excuse is the worst you could’ve used with me.”

Bucky sighed defeated, he knew he had to get it off his chest, after three years carrying this on his own, he needed to let the words out, he needed you to know. He reached for the laces of your mask and took it off, placing a strand of hair behind your ear and cupping your cheek.

“I love you, Y/n.” You rolled your eyes in fake annoyance just to mess up with him.

“Baby, we already established that I lov-”

“Y/n, you are not listening. I am in love with you. I want to be your best friend, your lover, your partner in crime and your drunk buddy.”

You stared at him wide eyed, not knowing what to answer or to do. He caressed your cheek with his thumb and you gasped at the feeling, making Bucky think that you were rejecting the act. You stopped him from moving his hand and he leaned in, his lips brushing yours lightly.

“Either you kiss me or I faint, so make a m-” And just like that, his lips crashed against yours with a passion and hunger you’ve never felt in your entire life. He pressed you against the door, the stupid huge dress stopping you from feeling anything. Your brain finally woke up and you realized what was going on. Bucky Barnes loved you, he was in love with you. And you were in love with him. You pulled away and stopped him, making him step backwards scared that he did something you didn’t want to.

“You love me?” You really asked him, thinking that maybe your brain was betraying you. He nodded and looked away, not wanting to see the rejection in your eyes.

“Hey coward, look at me.” You held his chin and forced him to look at you. “I love you too, always have. I was just too damn scared to admit it to even myself.” He smiled and kissed you again, this time slower, pouring every ounce of love he had for you in the kiss.

“What now?” He asked you once he pulled away to breathe. He had his hand on the back of your neck, caressing your skin with his thumb.

“As much as I’d love you to fuck me against every surface on that room, I am drunk and tired and I need to process everything.” He nodded and waited for you to come up with what you wanted to do next. “So you are going to take this dress off me carefully cause I can’t do it on my own and it’s expensive as fuck, you are going to give me one for your shirts and we are sleeping, together.” He nodded again and smiled, leaning in again to give your lips a small peck.

“Consider it done, asshole.”

[bittysvalentines]

Love in the Morning

From: @ivecarvedawoodenheart

To: @amessnamedwidogast

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 2461

I hope you like it!! I had a really good time with this :) Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Summary:

“Don’t you dare, you had better not, I’ll call your dad and the press, I’ll tell ‘em—” “I think ‘Jack Zimmermann helps out teammate with checking drills’ would be a good headline, actually. I give you my blessing.” “Not when you’re threatening to pour water all over me you big ole—” “‘Big ole’ what, exactly?” ___________________________

Zimbits, from Bitty’s POV. Focusing primarily on waking up in the morning.

(AO3)

Someone throws a pillow at his face. Bitty jolts upright, looking around wildly, almost falling out of bed. It better not be — oh Lord, he’s gonna murder him —

“Bon matin, Bittle.”

Bitty check his watch and screams internally.

“Jack, were you dropped as a child? Is that why you feel the need to force me out of bed at four in the morning?”

He thinks Jack raises his eyebrows. It’s hard to be sure when it’s so dark in here, but the vaguely Jack-sized blob in the doorway gives off a distinctly amused vibe.

“My uncle Wayne did, actually,” Jack says. “My parents forbade him from holding me until I could do backwards crossovers.”

“Mmph.” Bitty closes his eyes and pulls his blankets up under his chin. “Go bother Shitty, Mr. I’m-Friends-With-NHL-All-Stars. I have a test today.”

Jack says, “That was yesterday, Bittle.”

“I could have another one today, Zimmermann.”

“You, having a test and not tweeting about it? Impossible.”

Bitty cracks open an eye at that. “It’s too early for you to be chirpin’ this much,” he says, but he swings his legs out of bed and lets Jack bundle him off to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wake up somewhat. They’re on their way to the rink, Bitty in an oversized Pens sweatshirt because he couldn’t find one of his in the dark, before he realizes that means Jack reads his tweets.

____________

“I’m asleep, my eyes are closed, go away Jack, can’t you see I’m sleeping—”

“You’d be much more convincing if you weren’t talking, Bittle. You’ll have time after to take a nap, let’s get at it—”

“Oh my god . ‘Let’s get at it’? Are you actually eighty years old—”

“Yes, okay, Old Man Zimmermann, ha ha, that hasn’t been played out. If you really want to make fun of me you’ll get your butt to the rink, that’ll really show me.”

Bitty scowls at him when they get to the locker room. Jack laughs, just once, and it’s so surprised and quick a sound that Bitty almost misses it. He wants to hear it again.

____________

Midnight, and there’s a knock at his door. Bitty presses Señor Bun tighter to his chest and wipes his eyes hastily, catching his French book before it slides to the floor. “Yeah?”

“Can I … can I come in?”

The door makes it difficult to hear, but he thinks it’s Jack. He squeezes his eyes shut, biting his lip. Then he forces himself to perk up as best he can.

“Of course! Why’re you up? It’s so late.”

Jack eases the door open and shut behind him. Bitty watches him scan the room, taking in the flashcards strewn across his bedspread and his laptop. He wishes he hadn’t left it open on Google Translate.

Jack rubs the back of his neck. A little sliver of his shirt rides up, and Bitty knows this shouldn’t be anything — they’ve all seen too much of each other in the locker room — but it’s almost too much on top of everything. His hair sticks up in all directions. Bitty holds Señor Bun tighter to keep from crossing the room and making his hair even wilder.

“Your light’s still on,” Jack says. He looks so unsure of himself here. Bitty’s not sure he’s ever been in his room outside of waking him at godforsaken times in the morning. “I wanted to, euh. Make sure everything’s okay.”

“I’m fine,” Bitty says quickly. Jack shoots him an unimpressed look, first nodding to Bitty’s flashcards, then raising his eyebrows at the clock. “Well. Not quite okay, but. I will be fine, which is what matters.”

Jack still doesn’t look like he believes him, but when he crosses the room to sit on the bed, his face softens. He picks up a flashcard with le fromage written on it. “You’re learning food words?”

“Oui,” Bitty says. Even that has such a pronounced twang to it. He sighs. “I’ll be honest, it’s not going great.”

He’s fiddling with the card now, flipping it back and forth, playing with the corners. Bitty watches him gather the rest of the flashcards in a neat stack and shuffle them.

Jack says, “I can quiz you,” and Bitty’s about to cry again.

He wipes his eyes. “You don’t have to.”

It must catch in his voice, because Jack looks up then. His eyebrows crease. “I mean — I don’t want to overstep, but. I do speak French, so.”

“Oh do you?” Bitty asks, and Jack rolls his eyes. He tosses a card at him and le jus hits him in the Adam’s apple. Bitty swallows reflexively.

He doesn’t think he imagines how Jack watches him.

Jack bumps their knees together. “If you want,” Jack says softly. “I don’t mind.”

“Okay,” Bitty whispers. He clears his throat. “If you’re fine with how badly I’m going to pronounce these words, that is.”

“I’ll live,” Jack says.

Bitty smacks him with his pillow, and he laughs quietly. A little thrill runs through Bitty at the sound.

“Okay, Bittle,” Jack says. “Let’s do this.”

____________

In the morning, Jack yawns loudly in the faint morning light and says, “Up and at ‘em, let’s go—”

“You can’t be serious,” Bitty says, grumpy. “We were up the whole night doing flashcards and you took up the whole bed, I didn’t get to sleep for a second.”

“That’s a lie, you snored the whole time, I didn’t—”

“You and your big ass stole all the blankets, I couldn’t’ve snored because I have to be asleep for that—”

“Couldn’t’ve? Are you joking—”

Jack goes on a rant about how difficult it is to understand him, and then how hard it must be to understand either of them, and then segues into a scheme to confuse everyone next time they come back from a break and their accents are stronger. Bitty chimes in now and then. Mostly, though, he drinks in how this feels: Jack in his bed, flashcards still everywhere — there’s one stuck to Jack’s cheek now, he thinks it’s les fraises — and his eyes still sleep heavy.

Bitty wants this so badly he outright gasps in the middle of Jack’s sentence.

“You okay, Bitty?”

“Fine,” he says, trying to push the feeling aside. “You’re kidding though, right? About checking practice today?”

Jack holds out a hand in a may I? gesture that Bitty doesn’t understand until he pouts, glancing at Señor Bun. Bitty hands him over tentatively. Jack tucks Señor Bun neatly under his chin, cuddling him with his eyes closed, and this all but knocks the air out of Bitty.

“‘M joking,” Jack says. Beneath the covers, Bitty feels him gently nudge his side with an elbow. “‘M tired. Bonne nuit.”

“No French when I’m trying to sleep, Mr. Zimmermann,” he says softly. Jack nudges him again.

He drifts off. In his dreams, he sees Jack holding Señor Bun like he’s something precious.

____________

Bitty has Canadian bacon on the stove when Jack stumbles downstairs. He quietly pours himself some orange juice, then Bitty feels rather than sees him join him at the stove.

“There’re some eggs in the fridge,” Bitty says, “if you wanna do somethin’ with them.”

He bumps his shoulder against Jack’s chest just to touch him and prove to himself that they’re standing here, together. Jack’s golden in the dewy morning sun.

“Your checks are getting better,” he says then, and Bitty says, “Oh, shush, you.”

Jack scrambles some eggs and fries some, and it’s peaceful between them.

____________

“Don’t you dare, you had better not, I’ll call your dad and the press, I’ll tell ‘em—”

“I think ‘Jack Zimmermann helps out teammate with checking drills’ would be a good headline, actually. I give you my blessing.”

“Not when you’re threatening to pour water all over me you big ole—”

“‘Big ole’ what, exactly?”

“I — it’s early, okay? My mouth hasn’t woken up yet.”

“Seems like it has to me.”

Bitty crawls out of his blankets at that, cheeks burning. “You tryin’ to tell me I talk too much?”

Jack takes a sip of water. “No, I’m trying to tell you to get your ass out of bed so we can go to Faber before the early skate. Do you think I enjoy being up at four?”

“Yes.”

“Well.” He tilts his head to the side. “Look, it’s prime running time—”

Bitty narrows his eyes. “Jack Laurent Zimmermann, you could get mugged—”

“—not if I’m running faster than my mugger, which is what I was about to say when I was so rudely interrupted, and how else am I to outrun a mugger than to practice running?”

He looks so pleased with his logic. Bitty says, “People like you are what’s wrong with this country,” and he grins broadly.

“I’m Canadian, remember?”

Bitty beats him for the first time in their end of practice race.

____________

Bitty’s alarm wakes him for the first time in ages, which of course means Jack died or something because no way in hell would he miss an opportunity to push him into the boards for an hour and a half.

Lord. He wouldn’t mind being pushed against the boards.

He’s had enough dreams that end up against the boards, for various reasons, and … he shouldn’t be thinking this, now, but.

He checks the weather and his school email and then, shivering, pads across the hall.

“Jack?” An answering mmph gives him the okay to open the door, so he does. He blinks to adjust to the darkness. Jack peeks blearily out from his blankets. “They’ve called classes for the day, it’s too cold out.”

Jack says, “Mmph,” and Bitty connects the dots. “You knew that already, I’m sorry! I’ll just—”

“Bittle.”

Bitty stops midway to the door.

“Yeah?”

Jack jerks his head toward the bed, peeling back his blankets. “It’s cold,” he mumbles, “c’mon.”

Bitty’s heart about stops. His mouth moves wordlessly for a few seconds before his mind catches up from where it stopped on Jack’s asking me to get in bed with him .

“Are you sure?” he asks, and Jack nods.

“No point losing more body heat,” he says sleepily. “Besides. My bed’s bigger than yours, we’ll fit fine.”

“Chirp chirp.”

So Bitty does. He climbs into his bed carefully, trying not to jostle Jack too much. Jack clumsily tucks the blankets around them and when Bitty tugs on the covers himself, their hands brush. Jack squeezes his briefly, then lets go. Bitty shivers again, but not from the cold.

“Oh — here —” Jack shifts his pillow and then presses a balled up sweatshirt into Bitty’s hands. “If you want.”

It’s the Pens sweatshirt he’d borrowed months ago. It still smells like him. The fact of Jack, sleeping with this so close to his face, breaks so sweetly in Bitty’s chest. He pulls it on.

“Thanks,” he whispers.

Jack says, “Mmph,” but Bitty can see him smiling slightly.

____________

Bitty wakes up after graduation to two texts. They’re timestamped 4:02 AM.

They say,

I’m sorry if it’s too early to say this , but I’ve been wanting to tell you for awhile now

I think I fell in love with you in the morning

He touches his lips with his fingertips and wonders when it was he got so stupid lucky.

________________________

A pillow lands on his face, yanking him out of a stress dream about playoffs.

Something in their bedroom smells delicious. He opens his eyes and blinks to be sure he isn’t dreaming.

Jack’s filled their nightstands with plates and plates of food. There’s a heap of pancakes stacked high and half buried under blueberries and strawberries and what smells like 100% Canadian syrup on one of them, and toast shining beautifully with butter stacked next to eggs cooked every which way of the other. Jack himself is sitting at Bitty’s feet, wearing the Schooners shirt Bitty had gotten as a signing perk two years back. It still looks so, so good on him. Bitty’s never gotten over the thrill at seeing Jack in a shirt with his last name on it.

“Oh sweetheart,” Bitty says, yawning. “How did you—”

“I have my ways,” Jack says, handing him a plate and Bitty smiles.

“It all smells so good.”

“That’s only because you missed about an hour of me burning everything on the stove.”

Bitty throws up his hands in mock exasperation. “This boy.”

Jack crawls next to him and leans against the headboard. He rests his arm around Bitty, pulling him gently against his side, and presses a kiss to the side of his head. “Your boy, you mean,” he says, and Bitty about melts.

“For half a second there I thought you were wakin’ me up for checking practice again,” Bitty tells him, after they’ve kissed a little.

Jack says, “I still could,” and Bitty kisses him some more to distract him. From the way he huffs a laugh, he knows Jack knows what he’s doing. “Though you don’t really need it now.”

“Yeah, I had a really good, really strict captain for that.”

They’re quiet a moment while they eat. Bitty sneaks peeks at Jack now and then, liking the way the sun still loves him. Jack catches him a few times and chirps him softly.

“I don’t think I ever told you,” Bitty says, when they’ve stacked all their dishes out of the way. “It was when you said you read my tweets, for me. Or with Señor Bun that first night in my bed, when you looked at him like he was a new bucket of pucks.”

“When…” Jack starts, frowning a little. Bitty waits for him to puzzle it out, leaning fully against him now. He sees the realization before Jack says it. “Oh,” Jack says. “When you…”

“When I fell in love with you,” Bitty says simply. “That was when.”

Jack tips his chin up with two fingers and Bitty savors this kiss more than any other they’ve had, except for the one after that one, and the one after that.

“I love you,” Jack says afterward. He presses their foreheads together.

Bitty says, “I love you no matter how many eggs you burn,” and Jack laughs another quick, surprised laugh. Hearing now is even better than the first time.

Jack helps him out of bed and they wash the dishes together, stopping now and then to bump into each other and kiss softly and be at home here, together in their kitchen with the sun just coming up. Even after all this time, this feels like the start of something.

Bitty takes Jack’s hand as the radio plays. They stay like this, dancing their way through cleaning up, well past when the sun rises fully in the sky.

________________________

[kweebtrash]

Dom(me)s Aren’t Built In a Day: Johnny Vers. (M)

Pairing: Johnny X Reader

Features: Choking/Breath play, restraints, spanking/paddling, cock rings, Switch!Johnny, bratty behavior, oral sex/69, light scratching/biting, rough sex, established relationship and some fluffy shit because i couldn’t resist

Genre: Slight Angst, Smut.

Word Count: 7.3k

A/N: So I kinda got carried away with this one. And i was going to make Johnny a sub all the way but the story took it’s own course. Anon I really hope you like this because i love it! I’m so much better writing kink than fluff lol. Thanks Anon <3

DABIAD Mini Series Masterlist

My hands slid underneath the hem of his shirt, feeling the warm skin and firm muscles underneath. I dug my nails in ever so slightly when his hand grabbed my ass forcing me closer to his body. I sighed softly into his kiss, wanting more and hungry to feel him deeper.

“You wanna go to the bedroom?” I smirked as i laid open mouth kisses on his neck.

“I guess…”

He guessed?? “What do you mean you guess?”i asked.

He shrugged and diverted his eyes. “If you wanna…”

“Well it's not really consensual if you dont want to.”

“I'll do it for you.”

I pushed Johnny off of me and got up from the couch. “Just say you fuckin’ dont want to. Damn.”

It had been like this. For weeks now. Apathetic, mediocre. Trying to get a groove back that seemed to have faded already. We had been dating for almost a whole year now, and when it first began it was like we set the whole world ablaze. Every moment with him was ecstatic and filled me with feelings of lust, love, and happiness all at once. Yet lately it seemed like he didn't even want to touch me. I was shocked when he initiated the make out session, even a little turned on to be grinding on the couch like horny teenagers. But even that little bit of a spark disappeared within minutes. And now I knew for sure that he was just doing it to try and please me. Not that him rutting unenthusiastically into me made it feel good.

I had plenty of thoughts running through me head. Was he cheating? Did he fall out of love with me? Was he sick? Medical issue? Depression? He wasn't talking to me and that made me even more worried. How did we even get to this point?

I went over to his bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. A few moments later he was in the doorway, hands shoved deep into his pockets. “I'm sorry…” He said quietly. He was hiding behind his dark brown bangs, shyer than he normally was.

“What is going on with you? You're never like this and you wont talk to me about anything! When did that start happening?” i let out a frustrated sighed as my mind went to that place again. “Are you….are you cheating on me?”

Johnny’s head snapped up instantly. “What? No! Fuck no! I would never. Why would you think that?”

“I DONT KNOW! You’re not talking! Tell me what's going on then!” i couldn't help the angered tone in my voice.

“It's nothing! Nothing's wrong i just…” He shrugged. “I guess I'm in a funk or something. I don't know. I was hoping it would go away but it hasn't.” He rubbed the back of his neck and groaned. “Dont worry about it ok? I'll figure it out.”

“Figure it out…” I scoffed. “So you've been ‘figuring it out’ by yourself for weeks and you've become reclusive and it feels like you're repulsed by me.”

“Don't be so fucking dramatic. I'm not repulsed by you. Nothing wrong with you. Just let me do this by myself.”

“Fine.” I got up from the bed and pushed past him. “You can call me whenever you ‘figure it out’.” i rushed to grab my bag and keys from by the couch and went over to the door.

“Yeah, thanks for being understanding!!” He screamed after me. “Selfish ass!!”

I guess I was being selfish. It wasn't really about the sex...part of it was of course but what the hell was he hiding? I had spent various nights crying, going days without a call or text, even though he was posting his photography on instagram. It seemed like he was going on without me. That was until one night he finally broke the silent vow that had manifested between us.

“I'm sorry. I really wanna see you. I miss you.” i heard him breathe into the phone.

“Are you drunk?” i sighed.

“Yeah but it's fine. I know what i'm saying. Come over.”

“I'm not going over while you're drunk. Where even are you?” I could hear loud noises in the background and people screaming over each other.

“Out. Please. Meet me at my place. You still have the key dont you?”

“Yeah but-”

“Let me fuck you.”

No. That was bad. Very very very bad. And i should not go over there. I got up and grabbed my keys, swiftly putting on my shoes and making a terrible decision.

When i got to his place he was already pushing me against the door, his mouth overwhelming mine and hands roaming everywhere. I was clawing at his clothes, practically tearing them away. He looked amazing. Tight jeans that accentuated his firm ass, black shirt that was now tossed aside and heated muscles that drove me to open my legs instantly. He grabbed my arm and dragged me to the bedroom, pushing me onto the bed and crawling on top of me. My breaths were coming out so hard that my lungs were starting to burn. The only thing i could think about was him making me cum. Just please make me cum. Ive missed you so much, Johnny. So much.

I couldnt say what i was thinking. I was too busy pulling him closer to the heat between my thighs, wanting to ride his face until the sun came up. My hand was digging into his scalp while his were on my breasts, squeezing and kneading as he rained kisses over my lower stomach. I shoved off my sweatpants and panties, eliciting a growl from his hungry lips. “Fuck Johnny….please.”

He grabbed my hips with a smirk, yanking me towards him and moving up to swallow my lips again in sinful twists and turns of his tongue. “I'll get to you in a minute, baby i promise.”

I whimpered wantonly. “Don't keep me waiting. Ive missed you so much.”

He licked my lips and groaned. “Fuck, me too. You feel so damn good and i'm not even inside you yet.” He trailed his lips to my neck biting down hard against the sensitive skin as his denim clad cock ground into my center. My hands raked up his back, stopping right at the base of his neck. I arched into him, returning the rolls of his hips as gasps of pleasure fell from me. “Choke me.”

I stopped then and there. “What?”

“Choke me. For the love of god, fuckin’ choke me.” He took my hand in his, placing it on his neck as his eyes sealed shut, waiting.

I pulled away, sitting up slightly. “Johnny! That's dangerous!”

“No, it"s fine. Please just do it. It'll get me off.”

My eyes went wide and i scrambled away from him. “I-i cant do that. That's just…”

“Why not? It's easy. Just do it.”

“You could stop breathing! I'm not gonna kill you.”

“Exactly! It wont kill me! You're not gonna hurt me. Just…” He looked at me, eyes dark and pleading.

“I cant. Im sorry. I...i knew this was a bad idea. I have to go.” i quickly grabbed my pants and pulled them on. He didnt even try to stop me. He just sat there, head hung low and hand clenched around the sheets. I rushed out of there fast, my heart still racing with nervousness. I had never been asked that before and for Johnny to even suggest that...was that what he was wanting before? Why he was so distant? I just...i couldn't do that to him no matter how badly he wanted it. My heart hurt now...maybe we werent exactly made for each other after all.

--

A month had passed and we still were barely talking. I wasnt ready to move on but...maybe it was time. He was on my mind everyday and i also continuously wondered if maybe he had found someone else. Someone who could do what he wanted. We had arranged to meet at his place again. I was going to get my things and probably break it off for good. As I drove to his apartment i willed myself not to start crying. I had to be strong. This was for the best. Maybe not for me but maybe for him. In my head I tried to convince myself that I wanted him to be happy even if it was with someone else. But it wasn't really working.

When i got to the front door and knocked there was no answer. He knew I was coming...he had to be home. I sent him a text and waited. Minutes passed and still no answer. I still had the key to his place -i had planned to give it back to him today- but i didnt want to burst in there. It seemed rude now since we were so distant. But he still wasn't answering. I reluctantly set the key in the lock and went inside. The place was dark, there was only a dim light coming from his bedroom. “Johnny?” I called out.

Still no response. Now i was starting to get worried. I went over to his bedroom, the door wide open, and i could see him lying in bed fully naked with his cock in his fist. His laptop was beside him and his headphones in his ears which would explain why he hadn't heard anything. My face was bright red and i panicked. I had no idea if I should stop him or not. I almost didn't want to. He looked so...damn good. The way his chest was rising and falling, his legs tensing and hips bucking with each pass of his hand over the tip of his cock. I dared to step a little closer to him and i noticed the video that was playing on his laptop. Of course it was porn but stuff that we had never watched together. The man was tied up, rope decorating his skin in intricate patterns, his mouth gagged shut and a blindfold over his eyes. There were marks all over his backside, most likely the branding from the tall amazonesque women dressed in latex behind him. She was holding a thin rod of what looked like maybe wood in her gloved hands and he was begging her for more. She complied, landing another hard whip from the cane making him cry out. When the wood landed on skin, Johnny's body tensed, his breath hiccuping for a moment before he licked the dryness from his lips. His cock was leaking now, the sound of wet skin on skin coming to my ears.

I swallowed hard and reached out to him, setting my hand on his sweat slicked chest. His eyes shot open and he jumped up quickly, yanking the headphones out his ears and slamming the laptop shut. “Jesus!! Dont you knock!?” he pulled a pillow over his lap and glared up at me.

“I did!! I knocked, i texted you, and i called out to you! You're the one with headphones jacking off to…that stuff…”

His face flushed a bit and he got up from him bed trying to making his way over to his bathroom. “Why are you here?!”

“We agreed for me to come over and get my stuff! Don't you remember?”

He groaned. “Shit...that was today?”

“I thought that's what we said!” i shifted my feet a bit. “Sorry, i came in with the key. I didnt want to but you didnt answer and...well…”

He pushed his hair back briefly wiping the sweat from his forehead. “It's fine...it's my fault. Um…” He looked down at the pillow that he was clutching tighter. “I'm gonna uh...you know.”

“Finish?”

“What?! N-no! I mean not while you're here now! That's like...weird.” He said.

“Why? I mean I know why but i've seen your dick like...hundreds of times.”

“Yeah but we're…”

“What are we exactly?” I asked.

He looked down at his feet. “I dont know. I thought you hated me.”

“Hate? No! I thought that...i thought a lot of things. I thought you didnt want to be with me because i was scared to choke you. I thought that maybe sex was that important to you and then it made me feel like shit.”

“i felt like shit when you thought it was weird. And i'm sorry about the choking thing. Me being drunk and springing it on you wasn't the best way to go about it. I'm glad we didn't have sex that night.” He replied.

“Me too.” i nodded before glancing back at his laptop. “I really miss you Johnny. Like it hurts so bad to not be around you. And if...this stuff is important to you i'm willing to at least try it.”

His eyes snapped up to me. “R-really? You really don't have to. I dont want to make you uncomfortable. I guess this is what we’re struggling with anyway.”

“I am uncomfortable but...maybe you can teach me and we can try stuff?” I nibbled my lip a bit. “You looked really hot listening to it...just saying.”

He let out a soft chuckle. “Thanks...um…” He leaned in a bit placing a soft kiss on my lips. I smiled and looked up at him.

“So do I spank you and call you a bad boy now?”

He nodded. “That would be kinda nice.”

“Do I say mean things to you?” I asked fumbling over the thoughts in my head and just spitting them out.

“No, i'm not into degradation, just control. Or lack thereof. You're in control. You command me essentially.”

“Command you?” I thought for a moment. “Like get on your knees and eat me out?”

“Right now?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

I cleared my throat. “If you dont i'll...spank you.”

He smiled which made me cover my face. “Im sorry! I'm trying!”

“No, no. It's okay. I appreciate it. You're so cute.”

I set my face in his chest, trying to hide my embarrassment. “Am i supposed to sound scary? Like how am I supposed to do it?”

He kissed the top of my head. “Not for nothing but we can watch some stuff together. Its a bit exaggerated but you'll get the gist of it.”

“Watch porn...together?”

“Nothing more romantic, am i right?” He laughed and nodded towards his bed. “C’mon.”

I took off my sweatshirt and jeans, tossing them away with my shoes and climbed into bed with him. He sat up against his headboard, setting the laptop on the pillow and opening it back up.

“Ok,” I held onto his arm and exhaled. “Let do this.”

--

Oh god. I could see why he wanted this so bad. Never in my life had i seen anything so lustful and sensual than my small hands wrapped around Johnny's throat. His full lips were parted, only being able to let out small raspy gasps as his chest tried to compensate for the lack of air. I held his life in my hands, which in of itself was the most powerful thing i had ever felt. My thumbs pressed into his adams apple and his hand instantly grabbed the top of the headboard to steady himself while i rode his cock like I was never going to see him again. And when he came -Jesus- when he came it was like a whole new world had opened and we were the only ones in it. My whole body tensed, convulsed, clenched around him as his cum filled me. He had arched against me, making my nails dig into his skin before he tapped my wrist quickly. I let go instantly and he gasped in air in huge gulps, coughing just a bit.

“A-are you o-okay?” i stammered as i still felt my legs shaking on either side of his hips.

He nodded, coughing into his elbow and struggling to regain his breath. I bit my lip now worried that i had done something wrong. “Johnny!”

He waved me off, giving me a thumbs up before he finished his coughing fit. “FUCK!” he wiped the back of his mouth. “Damn...that was-”

“Did it hurt? Are you ok? I'm sorry, God i’m so sorry. I was caught up in the-”

He interrupted me like i had done to him except it was with a hard kiss. He pulled me down to him, kissing me deeply and desperately. When he pulled away I was almost lightheaded from the intensity. “You're amazing. Like...incredibly amazing.”

“You've never cum like that before. I um…” I looked down at our bodies still connected and the bit of stickiness that was slowly sliding out of me. “It was a lot...and really….wow.”

“Yeah...wow is...one way to describe it. Can we do it again?” He smirked.

“Right now? Are you sure? I think I marked your neck though.” I blushed.

He bit his lip in his charmingly awkward way. “Hell. Yes.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pushed me down to the bed, attacking my neck and chest with kisses and bites making me giggle.

“Johnny! Wait!” I squirmed beneath him, trying to still his nibbles and licks. Him laughing against my neck tickled even more until I was almost in tears. “Stop!” He didn't, even when i begged but an idea popped into my head amidst my giggles. I landed a hard smack against his ass using as much force as i could given my position beneath him. He stopped instantly, clutching my sides roughly. “When I say stop what do you think that means?”

“Stop, ma'am.”

“Ma'am?” I mulled it over. I didn't think I was a Mistress or Mommy or Queen or anything just yet. Besides some of those titles still made me squeamish.

“Would you want me to call you something else?” he asked, head still bowed and buried in my neck.

“No. I like that. Say it again.”

“Yes ma'am.”

I smirked feeling the sense of power return. “Good boy. I think you should bend over now.”

--

~2 years later~

“Why are you mad at me? You're the one who walked out on me!” Johnny yelled once we got into our shared apartment.

“Because I don't like public proposals and you did it right in front of everyone!”

“It was a surprise engagement party!”

“I still dont like that! It puts me on the spot and it makes me have anxiety and it forces me to say yes!”

“So you dont want to say yes?” He looked at me confused and full of hurt.

“No, i mean...i just...can i think about it?!”

“Think about it? We've been together for so long already! What is there to think about?!”

“I dont know! I mean...divorce rates, family shit, insurance, an entire fucking wedding that we cant afford! A stupid dress that i'm only going to wear once and costs like a quarter of my college debt.”

“And all of that was enough to make you walk out on me? Really?”

“I just have to think about it, ok?!”

“Think about it on the couch then.” He walked into our bedroom-the one that used to belong to him and only him- and slammed the door shut. I sighed, angrily kicking off my heels and plopping down on the sofa. My arms crossed as my stubbornness was kicking in. I wasnt apologizing. I hated crowds and when he got down on one knee in front of our friends my anxiety went into over drive and i panicked. I had run outside, my emotions a terrible melting pot of odds and ends. I didnt come back to the party. It ended horribly. That was when we drove home in a tense silence that had exploded as soon as we stepped foot into our home.

I thought back to the first year of our relationship. How hot and cold we were because of all the changes we were going through. It was so distant and painful. I didnt want to go through that again. That was when the giddiness hit. He had proposed, completely unexpected and while i almost had an anxiety attack at our surprise engagement party….he had actually proposed. Like PROPOSED. I covered my face with my hands and felt the heat rising all the way to the tips of my ears. I never thought that would happen ever. It hadnt even crossed my mind before. I was so focused on building my business and living our life as a couple who lived together that I hadnt thought that far. A piece of paper and a ring wouldnt change how i felt about him but he had clearly thought it through. Enough to do a party after all.

Oh Johnny. This is why even though I controlled you, you had me wrapped around your finger tight.

I got up and unzipped my form hugging dress, stepping out of it and kicking it out the way. I went over to the bedroom, knocking gently before stepping in. He ignored me, opting to keep his eyes glued to his phone. His blazer was strewn on the bed, tie and top buttons of his shirt undone, sleeves rolled up to his elbows while his hair escaped the hold his pomade had on it. “Johnny…” I called out softly.

His thumb flicked over the phone screen, his eyes following the scrolling blue and white masses of texts and photos. I crawled onto the bed and sat behind him, rubbing my hands over his shoulder. He smacked them away quickly. “Dont.”

“I'm sorry.” I began, placing a kiss on the back of his neck. “I didn't mean to upset you. I panicked.” I wrapped my arms around his ribcage and held him tight.

He sighed and set his phone on the night stand. “Do you really not want to get married? Honestly i'll return the damn ring and get myself a camera.”

I turned his face towards mine and kissed his full lips gently. “Let me think about it ok? Please?” I didn't give him much of a chance to respond as i deepened the kiss little by little, pushing him back onto the bed. He let out a small grunt and i assumed it was because he was mad at himself for being persuaded so easily. But i've always had that effect on him. While our tongues were clashing with one another i drew my hand up to his neck, gently running my hands over one of his most sensitive areas. He jerked at the touch at first, knowing what it meant and the possibilities for the night. He pulled away ever so slightly, his warm breath coating my lips as he panted.

“Ma'am?” he asked tentatively.

“Mhm…” I nodded in response, letting the switch set off between us as our dynamics changed. He wasn't just my sweet, loving, awkwardly goofy boyfriend anymore. He was my pet, my submissive- the one who catered to my every desire to enact my power over him, to see him crumble beneath me, begging helplessly.

“I'm still mad at you.” He said softly.

“I know.” I gripped his neck, adding pressure right against his adam's apple. His breath stilled for a moment as i slid my legs over his lap, straddling him. “That's why I'm making it up to you. Or at least trying to. Will you let me?”

His hand fell to my hip which he squeezed twice-our signal for yes. I smiled down at him dragging my eyes to the tie that hung loosely from his neck. Improvise. I let go of his throat momentarily- much to his dismay- and undid the tie. The shirt came next, a slow tease of testing his patience as I undid each button placing kisses on each new exposed area of skin. I untucked the shirt from his pants, opening a new area across his stomach to litter with kisses and a few harsh bites just to keep him on his toes. He was usually a quiet sub until he started begging and only let out a few hisses when i bit into him. My eyes drifted up to him- he was watching me intensely, wondering where i would go next- before looking down at the zipper of his dress pants.

I ignored it for now, shuffling down to remove his shoes and socks instead. He was shifting in the bed, fingers flexing around the bed sheets as he became raptured by every move I was making. I suppose it did help that i was in nothing but a sheer bra and panty set. I had planned that way before our fight, thinking we would have a chance to slip away in the middle of the party, but at least my plan came back around full circle. “Now dont move. Stay right where i left you.” I commanded before I left him in the bed and retreated to our closet. Behind all the clothes and totes and shoes was our little box of secrets- well, over the years the size of the box had increased as our collection grew and we learned how one another worked. I pulled it out, rifling through the goodies to find exactly what i was looking for. When i turned back to the bed Johnny had removed his shirt and unzipped his pants which instantly made my brow furrow.

“Did I ask you to do that?” i gripped the base of the paddle i now had in my hand tighter.

He licked his lips and swallowed hard. “N-no but I thought-”

“You thought...huh. last time I checked your job isnt to think, it's to do what i say.” I bound over to him, grabbed the tie from the bed and pinned his wrists together, securing them in a bowline knot, making sure it was tight enough that his big hands wouldn't slip through. “On your knees. Now.”

“Yes ma'am.” He shifted onto his hands and knees, ass raised in the air. I always loved seeing him like this. Especially because his ass was so cute, even cuter when covered in bruises and hand marks too.

“Hold onto the headboard and dont move.”

He followed my order while i yanked his dress pants down along with his black boxer briefs, exposing him completely. I bit my lip, trying to stifle my giggle as i still saw faint traces of the bruises I had left on him a couple weeks ago. He was definitely due for some more. I picked up the paddle once more, turning it over and running my fingers over the leather that covered it and the icy steel grommets along the edges. I could see his shoulder blades tensing in anticipation, making his back muscles ripple. God, he looked so good. I stepped a bit closer to him, rearing my hand back and landing a hard slap across his cheeks with the paddle. He pursed his lips together, trying to suppress a groan from deep within his chest.

“What was that?” i asked, rubbing the leather across the bright red sting.

“N-nothing ma'am.” He replied through grit teeth as his head dipped.

“You know i prefer you quiet unless your begging, right?”

“Yes ma'am.” i watched his fingers grip the headboard tighter and smirked.

I brought the paddle down again for another loud thwack. His entire body lurched forward, his ankles crossing over each other sending the tension to his calves. There was no sound from him except his heavy breathing that was slowly starting to shift into raggedness. I switched from using the paddle to rub against him to my hands, trailing my nails over the burning skin. The light scratches were enough to make him squirm, his stomach dipping towards the mattress. I dragged my nails up the base of his tailbone trailing all the way up his spine. I heard the faintest of curses under his breath which made me chuckle. I pressed my index and middle finger under his chin and tilted his head up towards me. “You're purposefully being a brat now arent you?”

His eyes were hooded, long lashes fluttering as his lips parted to say something but he thought better of it. “If you think this is your punishment then you've got another thing coming, baby boy. Trust me i've got something much worse planned for you.”

I dropped my touch from him and slithered back to the box grabbing the thing he loved to hate the most. It was small and simple yet dangerous and carried the weight of torture within its expanding walls. I grabbed the girth of his hips and yanked him back to me. Johnny complied until my hands were over his semi soft cock, sliding on the cock ring over his shaft, making a slight twist in the silicone to wrap around his balls as well. “What?! No!” He hissed.

“Ooh, you're back talking me today too? I definitely won't be taking it easy on you now.” I pressed a heated kiss against his neck, kissing up to his ear before biting against his earlobe. “Get back into position.”

He nodded meekly, returning his hands to the headboard. Now he knew he was in punishment territory and there wasn't any turning back. I may have wanted to make it up to him so he wouldn't be mad at me but there was still a teensy part of me that was angry that he embarrassed me and sent me into a panic. I gave him no warning, mimicking the way he sprung that loaded question me, and slammed the paddle into him again. The indentation of the grommets were starting to form on his skin like fiery o's. I gave him little room to breathe within the next few hits, making sure every inch of his backside was covered in some sort of sordid mark. He was holding up better than he normally did though his knuckles were white and tensed around the headboard. His toes were digging into the sheets as he rocked himself slowly, trying to ease off the heavy burn in his flesh. I propped myself by the headboard, setting the paddle on the nightstand “Hi honey,” I said in a bit of a mocking tone. He lifted his head, eyes falling on me instantly. “You ok?”

He could only groan, a bit of irritation and aggravation hidden within. “Hmm just...peachy.”

I looked down between his legs at his newly formed erection that was already struggling against the cock ring. I giggled and pet his hair back gently, narrowly escaping his teeth as he attempted to bite me.

“Oohh, my baby boy's feisty. Should i just leave you here like this for another hour? Not even touching you? Or maybe i should make you watch me touch myself while you stay trapped in this cock ring.” His eyes lowered into angry slits but he said nothing. “Or I could touch you...edge you...make you scream your begs until your lungs burn? Yeah. I think i like the sound of that more.”

Johnny pursed his lips together hard. His mind was working on processing the upcoming plans and possibly on a way to give me the cold shoulder later on while i got to work on tossing his pants off completely and shoving him against the headboard. I swung my legs over his hips, getting into our favorite position. He looked up at me, his still bound hands freezing right before he attempted to touch me. He knew he was teetering on a fine line and wasn't going to push it just yet. I grabbed his hands and pinned them above his head while my hips hovered above his straining cock. His eyes stayed locked onto the small gap of space between our heat waiting for the first brush of contact. I let him have it, gliding the mesh fabric of my panties over his cock, circling my hips slightly when my clit met his head.

Johnny swallowed back a gasp biting his lip hard to keep himself steady. I fell into a slow and easy rhythm of rocking my hips against him, the thin fabric between us adding just a bit more friction and sending my nerves ablaze. I was focusing on rubbing my clit against his head, feeling his pre cum seep onto his stomach. The grip i had on his wrists tightened, my breath becoming a rough staccato. Meanwhile, Johnny was trying to increase the painful grind, digging his hips up into me. “Please…”

God, that perfect little beg always drove me crazy. He knew it to. Hed pout out his full lips, lick them so they'd glisten and entice me more and toss his head back, exposing his neck for choking, biting or both. And just when i would let go of his wrist hed try and touch me. I knew his game and he wasn't going to win this time. “Please? Please what, Johnny? Use your words.” I sunk my teeth into his neck, pulling blood to the surface and creating a deep mark. He arched up against me, letting out a soft hiss that turned into a strangled groan. I edged my hips up his torso, letting his cockhead press ever so slightly against my entrance.

“Fuck! Please, baby…let me fuck you.”

“Hmm, absolutely not.” I lowered my head to lick at his lips, tracing my tongue over his top lip and giving it a sweet kiss. He reached his tongue out to meet mine, sucking it slowly into his mouth and humming around it. I pulled away just to tease him and he arched his head towards mine, lips parted and willing to accept another kiss. I let go of one of his wrists-being sure to keep a tight grip on the tie- and wrapped my hand around his neck, keeping him pinned to the headboard. A faint whimper escaped him.

“Please ma'am, i'll be good to you. You just-” he tried reach for my kiss again but i tightened my hold on his throat. “You just…” He swallowed back and i could feel the struggle against my palm. “Untie me a-and I can-”

“Quiet. Im gonna make you put your mouth to better use.” I wiggled away from him, sliding my panties off as Johnny excitedly slid down so his head rested on the pillow. I resumed my position on him, my knees now on either side of his head. “Get to work, brat.”

He nodded and pressed his lips against my heat, already prying his tongue through my folds as he growled hungrily against me. He swirled his tongue against my clit before sucking it fully into his mouth. My head fell back and i closed my eyes reveling in the hot wet sucks and kisses he gifted me with. I edged myself forward commanding his tongue to flick into my eager hole. I wanted some form of release myself. Seeing him tied up and spanking him always made my hormones rush into overdrive. I was trying to stay strong but the way he was drinking down every bit of my slick heat had my thighs quivering. I shifted my hips into quick bounces, making sure he would dig his tongue into me, that was until i felt it disappear. I looked down at him angrily. “Did I tell you to stop?”

“N-no ma’am but...a-ahh it hurts.” I rolled my eyes and looked back at his cock that was making a mess all over his stomach. It was bright red and aching, crying out for attention. “Please? Just a little?” He gave my lower lips a few tender kisses, his chocolate brown puppy dog eyes getting to me. I grumbled angrily and accepted his little conquest before adjusting myself so my stomach pressed against his chest in a sixty-nine.

I lapped at the precum that had settled between the grooves of his abs, trying to hide the coy little moan i let out as soon as i tasted him. I trailed my tongue up to his slit, digging the tip in just enough to get him squirming. Meanwhile, my nails raked along his shaft, tracing veins that pulsated with each tantalizing stroke. Johnny pressed his hips up, just a minimal inch, trying to get me to take him into my mouth and i gave in. My lips wrapped around his head enveloping him in heated pulls. I felt his fingers wrap around my ass, pulling me closer while his thumbs spread my hole wide. His tongue resumed its rightful place inside me carving out patterns against my walls.

I swallowed hard around him, trying to get my mind to focus on his torture when all i could really think about was my pleasure. I rocked myself slowly, my mouth slurping him down each time i went forward and his tongue disappearing inside me when i went back. His deep moans were vibrating against my lips making me clench around him and i returned the sentiment. His cock throbbed against my palm as i stroked what i couldnt fit in my mouth edging him even further. My free hand slipped between this thick thighs to grab at his balls giving him a rough squeeze. His hips jerked roughly slamming his cock to the back of my throat and i harshly landed a slap against him before pulling away. “Johnny.” I growled.

He let out a deep groan as more precum leaked from his slit. I bit at his thigh harshly, gripping his balls even tighter. He cursed against my folds and his nails dug into me. He called out to me, my title thrown away, as he pleaded for me to release him. I glared back at him.

“You want it bad don't you? You're a mess baby boy.” I said. “You want this gone?” I tugged at the ring of silicone that was suffocating him. He nodded profusely, wiping away the sweat that beaded across his forehead.

“Please….” He whispered huskily. I bit my lip as his deep voice cut right through me. I undid the tie and carefully eased off the cock ring from around him. He let out a sigh of relief before covering my back and shoulders with kisses. “Thank you. Hmm...can i fuck you now ma'am?”

“You better make up for you being an impatient brat.”

“Maybe you can make up for being such a shithead then.” He chuckled.

Before i could even argue he pushed me flat on my back, my head dangling off the edge of the bed. Any protest i was going to make dissolved into a loud cry as i felt his swollen cock shove into me. My walls stretched and swallowed him down greedily. He wasted no time in slamming into me over and over creating a swirling fire in the pit of my stomach. My hands reached for him, wanting to pull him closer to me but he pinned them to my side. From over the swell of my breasts i could see him watching every movement my body made beneath him. Though he had a crushing grip on my wrists my fingers dug into the sheets trying to find a way to stabilize myself. “F-fuck! Johnny!!” I cried as my back arched against him.

He had never been this hungry for me before. Begging, whiny, and submissive yes but this was...I wanted more. I wrapped my legs around his waist, digging my heels into his lower back as i panted out my own pleads. Johnny finally blessed me with heavy kisses on my neck pairing it with slithering licks. I turned my head towards his trying to capture his lips but he pulled away quickly as if i had burned him. “No.”

No? My eyes narrowed. “What do you mean no?! Give me my kiss.”

“Now who's being a brat?” He smirked. His hips were slamming into me even harder. I could hear the harsh slapping of skin on skin that mixed in with his heavy pants and groans. I tried wiggling out of his grasp but it was no use. Blood was rushing to my head making my entire body feel like it was floating. I could hear my heart thundering in my ears, pouding louder and louder to match each of Johnny's thrusts that dug into me. I arched against him, my body begging for him to aim towards my spot. Just when the head of his cock brushed against the place i desired most he pulled away and i almost screamed. He was testing me and possibly this was his way of getting revenge on me too.

He flipped me over pressing me face down, ass up, his hand gripping the back of my neck firmly. When he reinserted himself into me i felt every pleasure point ignited. My eyes rolled back as my mouth stayed in a permanent moan, my fingers digging into the edge of the mattress. My ass rocked back against him as i felt my impending orgasm approaching. He was relentless and unending and i felt like i was going to snap in half at any minute. The pressure he was putting on my neck strangled my breathing, my chest struggling to expand but it drove me wild. I could finally feel what he had felt; the feeling of abandoning control, of trusting someone so deeply and feeling your entire body slipping away to a space of heightened pleasure.

And as my explosive orgasm hit me i sunk my teeth into the edge of the bed, screaming my sins out. A rush of heat seeped inside me as Johnny bottomed me out with a final thrust. His grip loosened on my neck but i didnt move. It was like i was frozen against him. I felt him place kisses against me, crawling up to my face where he hovered above me so i wouldnt be crushed under his tall frame. “You okay?”

“Yeah….yeah…”

“You sure?” i felt his bangs brush against my shoulder as he kissed my cheek. I nodded and swallowed hard. We shifted slowly so we laid on our backs beside each other staring up at the ceiling as our breaths returned to normalcy.

“So….” he said.

“So…”

“I think i might be a switch.”

“I think i might be ready to marry you.”

We both looked at each other quizzically having said two completely different statements at the same time.

“What?” we said again before laughing.

He turned onto his said to face me. “Did you say you're ready to marry me?”

“Maybe.” I buried my face in his chest, trying to avoid looking at him. “What's this shit about you wanting to switch?!”

“Dont change the subject!” He pulled me away from him forcing me to look up. “You serious?”

“Yeah….i mean if you want to be a switch and do...all of the shit you just did now you damn right we're getting married.” I said.

“So you're just in it for the sex, huh?” He nudged me playfully.

I cupped his face in my hands. “Of course not. I have to deal with you tripping over your own feet, and constantly recording me or taking unflattering photos of me, and you whining when i have to fix your photography website because you messed up the html code yet again, and you sending me cryptic messages because you don't know how to send a text without it sounding ominous. And if i hated all of that i would've left you by now. But the dick is a plus.”

“Ehh, you're pretty decent yourself.” He smiled at me. “Especially when you're getting fucked out from behind.” he placed a slow heated kiss on my lips, teasing me with licks and pulling away like i had done to him. “You'd make a cute sub.”

“Easy now, hotshot. I didn't get the hang of it instantly and you definitely wont either. Doms aren't built in a day you know.”

“I know that but-” His hand wrapped around my neck, his thumb tilting my head up to his. “I'm gonna have fun learning.”

[hoslen]

Piano keys

paring: min yoongi | reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.4k (this is a big achievement for me)

summary: It was a boring Sunday night with your long time boyfriend, Min Yoongi. That is until he comes up with an idea that truly warms your heart.

a/n: Hello.. it’s Le! We are finally finding our inspiration to write again! and I'm back with this yoongi FLUFFFFF au! Ive been writing it for awhile and I truly hope you enjoy it! this was so nice to write since yoongi is my baby omg

─le

You tossed over on the familiar soft, double sized bed. Your arms rested on a lap. Who's? Your boyfriends. Your boyfriend of exactly 524 days. Yes, you kept count. It was Min Yoongi. The man who came into your life and stole your heart right away. You fell for his personality. It was so wild and contagous yet relaxed and diligent. He knew what he was passionate about and what he wanted to do, and how he was doing it. It also helped he could make you laugh when you cry, or laugh even more when you already are. You guess you could say he was the perfect man for you.

Your gleaming eyes looked up and met with his dark brown ones. It was ten pm with nothing to do on a Sunday night, so you and Yoongi sat flopped down on his, extremely cozy bed. Your eyes gazed over his small, sweet face. He had that beautiful smile on that made your face as red as a beat. His well known gummy smile. That smile, it was almost like his trademark, you guess you could say. It was something everyone wanted to see, for the cuteness and his happiness.

When you say everyone, it is indeed, almost everyone. Yoongi was a well known man in the music business for his beautiful pieces of work that he spend hours and hours on. He worked hard for the things he loved. He wrote pieces of music mainly for himself. They were always meaningful too. They would talk about reality. The struggles and walls of discouragment people face. That was beautiful. Instead of using his music for fame or money, he used it for a difference and for others happiness.

Yoongi's hands reached to yours, slowly grabbing the phone from your hand and gently tossing it to the other side of the bed. He wanted to focus on you, and only you, not the electronics that he claims have taken over the human race. You, of course agreed with him. Almost everyone has a phone, laptop or tablet nowadays. It's kind of crazy. Times like this with Yoongi were the best, though you never did have much to do. He gave you that glare. That glare you knew he was thinking of something. Like that time you were at a amusment park. Yoongi had this great, fantastic idea to hop on the fastest ride at the park, and drag you with him. Rollercoasters, they were great. But, did not make you, feel, great. Long story short, the fun amusment park date ended earlier then it was planned, and Yoongi needed a new shirt.

"I have an idea" Yoongi's rough voice echoed through your ears. You rolled your eyes giving off a fake "oh no what the hell are you thinking of now" vibe. "This should be fu-" before you could continue, you were cut off by Yoongi quickly sitting up and grabbing your hands, practically pulling you off the bed. He pulled you through almost every spot of his warm home. The long hallway, the cozy living space, the large kitchen. Until you reached an unfamiliar room. One that was much more warmer then the rest of his house, and surprisingly the biggest room of every other one. Yoongi's studio room. One room of his home you were never exactly in, except for a few peaks here and there. It was like his own area where it was just him and where he focused on everything from work to just day to day life things. All around there were instruments, speakers, computers, and what seemed like hundreads of other music products. Yoongi's hands swayed you over to the medium sized bench, you obeyed, following and slowly sitting on the dark brown bench that matched the piano.

"I had this since i was.." He started, but quickly stopped. You could see him counting the years on his fingers. It made you let out a small chuckle, which followed by Yoongi scrunching his nose, and man was it adorable. "Let's say.. enough years to fit on my ten fingers.. I think its safe to say, only ive played this piano. Its how i learned and found my, first love." he smiled, his eyes not once leaving you. He slowly bent down over your shoulder, taking your hands softly in his, caressing them gently. He placed your fingers so softly on the white keys with each finger, the keys gently bouncing. You couldnt help but notice how delicate they were.

"Your thumbs on C. Your pointer finger is on D, then your middle fingers on E, next is F and finally your, very small pinky is on G" He chuckled as everytime he spoke one note he would press down your finger to the key, making it make its soft, beautiful sound.

"What do the black ones do?" you smiled, turning your head, making it inches from his. Your smiles grew, and believe it or not, your cheeks still got red and warm. After so many months of dating, he still had a affect on you as if it was your first time meeting.

It was a cold tuesday night when you met Yoongi. You were walking back home from your last class of the day, when you heard clapping and cheering over in the distance. You, being intrigued with what was happening, you followed. As you got closer you could hear the faint sound of music. Not nothing up beat or multiple instuments, just one. Piano. A small keyboard was in your sight. Finally, beyond all the crown. You saw a man, sitting at a small, pretty advanced black piano, playing beautiful music with the tips of his fingers. You stood, cold, with a small smile. There wasnt a hat or box or anything for money, and you wanted to tip him. The music he was making was so, gentle and passionate. At the end of his preformance you got the urge and went up to him, taking a ten dollar bill out of your pocket. "You were very good, and i couldnt help but notice theres nothing down to pay you, so, here!" you smiled, faking your confindence since talking to new people was one of the many things you werent best at. His laugh at that time, worried you. Why was he laughing? You choked out a laugh as you put your hand out to him, handing the money. He didnt take it. "I don't need money. Your kind words were enough" he smiled, making you blush. The first blush of many. The money slowly followed its way back to your pocket, and you and the man suddenly found yourselves talking for hours until it was dark. His name was Yoongi, and he was a rising idol in the music buisness. Oh, and you also got his number.

"A black key." The man next to you chuckled while shaking his head. "They are sharps and flats. It means to play the next higher or lower key on a piano, but the key could be black or white." He smiled at you, hoping you understood. You nodded. "Okay.. I think I got it! So.. what should we play!" Yoongi scooted himself onto the brown stool next to you. His cheeks were a new shade of red youve never seen on him before. "Just follow me." he whispered, taking your hands in his and soon before you knew it, it was already two in the morning.

"And.. done!" Yoongi smiled widely, beyond proud of how quick you learned and played the song. "That was so.. beautiful. I loved it! But, I didnt reconize the song.. what one was it?" Yoongi's teeth made a way to his bottom lip. You could tell he was nervous, but why? He turned himself faced towards you, his legs hanging on either side of the stool, and you did the same. "Well.. It's a song.. I wrote" he started, his throat feeling like it had a lump stuck. "For you." he let out a calm breath, smiling brightly, his eyes curving in the same motion with his lips. You were speechless. Soon you were a bright red everywhere, your cheeks pained from the smile held so long on your face. You grabbed his face, your lips crashing to his. They moved in sync almost as if it was to the song you just played.

You were in love with him, and he was in love with you. "Thank you."

[magenta-teal]

This is me letting you go

We met exactly in one and half year ago, didnt know each other yet, well, i've heard you before, a lot, but not really paid attention. That time, i feel ur eyes judging me, thought u are the one i should avoid the most.

And then, we're going to karawang. It's the first day you finally talked to me. You asked me abt romi-dude, and i said he was the most handsome guy in the gang. You laughed at me, and i just strunted my eyebrow, feeling weird.

Turns out it was your birthday, it was so late and we didnt give u a proper wishes. Vincya made u blow up the candle with her zippo. Well, next day everyone throwed a party for u, and i dont feel like belongs to family so, i just slept on my blanket, faking to be busy.

And time passed. We got along well, but not that well. Until one day, you asked me to watch coco. I want to reject u at first, scared that we might got awkward as the movie played. But fortunately, we didnt. U even shed a tears, and u said u never cried in front of everyone but certain person. And lucky me, i am one of the kind.

And u told me abt ur stories, and i'd loved to listen every words u said. Blablabla, and u told me ur school, ur ex, ur family, and all bout stuffs. Serious matters. And u shed a tears once again. Want to give u a hug but who am i anyway?

Once again, we got along well, this time, we got along pretty well, as u ended up in same division as me, we traveled a lot, together. Bogor, bandung, medan, bali, what that was again?

And i remember the time when we had a staycation in ubud. U never been that clingy to me. U tailed me wherever i go. And for some reason, idk what, u loved to took a picture with me. It was the first time finally i feel something in u.

Do u remember? The time when we didnt go exploring ubud but swam in early morning? Time when i really want to made a group with u in our ttw camp? Time when i nagging a lot, longing for beach, and u were the one who made people going there, to fulfil my needs. U remember when we had dinner at jimbaran? We took a lot of photo. U even held my hand as if we were a real couple. U made me swing my body. I feel weird but still did it anyway.

At the end, i know it was u who always accompanied me. When i went back to dinner table after took some photos in beach, when im all alone, surprisingly u also went back and sat with me for the time being. And because of that, i cant help but seeing u as a different person.

So as we went back to jakarta, when u sat right next to me on the plane, i really cant help secretly laid my head onto ur shoulder. For a glimpse, for a second, and i could feel the warmth already.

Last, u remember when we waiting for our luggage in conveyor belt? I absent mindly dropped my trolley. Everyone laughed at me, but u. You just smiled, and helped me lifted it back.

Sometimes you surprised me with what you did. Once, you asked me going on rooftoop in the middle night, watching sky full of star with sight of pool in front of us. The next day, you asked me to accompanied you ate sekoteng at 1 AM on a narrow street at bandung. And how do i forget all of your stories on your igs? Once you told that i'm much cuter than kawa. Then you told me to picked between jeans and flanel. And you made me popped up in your 2ndary account. It might be just a birthday wishes, but it really means a lot, for me.

And soon, i realized that you always came by my bench. Once you just passed by. Once you sat on the chair next to me and asked me a things. Once you deliberately brought your laptop and worked in front of me.

People started gossiping us. Some took photo and shared it on group. Some talked behind. Some frankly asked what our relationship really are. What we did just smiled. Neither saying no nor yes.

Time passed once again, long story short u asked me to become ur fwb. Still remember the day u gave me a paper-made-flower. Idk why but i felt butterfly on my tummy. Weird. Shouldnt be that happy but i am.

Turns out it was totally wrong when i asked u to make clear abt ur feelings towards me. I shuld left it hanging but what i did was pushed u to confess. Never knew that would be bad.

Then we made some rules so no one gettin hurt. You told me not to get hard feeling. But it cant be. You know, my feelings already hard to begin with.

Till one day i felt different towards u. You changed. And I came to confront. U said u werent into relationship. I understand, as u started to avoid me, i started to forget u.

But who knows we got a long too well? We attached into each other, somehow. I started to walked away from u, but u popped up once again. Gone clingy with ur dumb smile.

Darn you, spirit of fungus.

And i couldnt resist u at a moment, i come too far by moved out and picked a house rent nearby u. Crazy, i know. And once again, u proved me u really attached to me as u always always and always asked me to had my supper with u.

I know it always been fun hanging together with u. We spent a day, a night. Talking unnecessary thing. Full of laugh. No phone, no people, no distraction. Just two of us. With our own world.

As the feelings started to blooms, i began to showed u a real side of mine. A bitchy one. Annoying, angry, meany, sucks. I got mad couple times. I talked bad. Im an asshole, i know.

Thought u would got tired and walked away from me. But it's you i know. U just being u. U put down my anger by showing me a good side of yours. And you stayed.

Then i started to questioning abt our rules. If we already did a right thing or not. Bcs if we were a real fwb, i shuldnt gone that far by got mad at u. As i start to asked u abt this relationship, u ignored me and just left everything the same.

We were going abroad together on November. Singapore. Your hometown for half a year on 2014. It was a group trip but i'm gone too far by being clingy with you. You didnt pushed me back and let everything be.

We went to USS. And we almost looked like a couple as we always riding things together on theme park. We also did a lot of couple lookalike shoot. Full of awkward pose. After all we are not a real couple.

But you surprised me by knocking my door at 7 AM. It was cloudy morning. Rainy outside. Cold. I opened the door and you straightly went to my room. Snuggled up under my blanket. And i could hear you snoring. As i'm watching you sleep, i wonder if we weren't really a couple. But no, we're not. I'm your friend, i said to myself.

Many things happened. Who knows that i would staying with you on your surgery day? I saw you screaming cause of a shoot. You made me see every single step mrs doctor did to your feet.

And i cant forget all of day we watched movie together. It was a midnight movie. We were wearing our pajamas. I didnt wear any make up and you didnt bother.

Once, you asked me to ate midnight snack on 1 AM when i already put some skincare, turned off the lamp and ready going to bed. We ended up going on conversation until 5 AM.

Sometimes you cooked for me. And you always granted my wish by making some dish my mother barely cooked.

It was sure a best day of mine.

4 months later, after i moved out to your neighborhood, you decided to left cause you cant stand living alone. Im not lying when i said, its saddening. Once i mad at you, gone clingy, questioning you all over if you would still there. But you tell me you're not going anywhere. You're not going to leave me. Then i come to trust you with disbelief.

Now you are going busy with your work. And your life, perhaps? You kinda ignoring me, not replying my text, not answering my call (okay its too exagerrated), not even read 'em. And what can i do? I dont want to ruin everything. So i just sit back and wait. I really dont want to disturb you. You have your own life.

And i'm letting you go this time. Letting you do what you wanna do. I dont want to hold you back. After all, Im just your friend. Like your other friend. But with slight of benefit which i dont know what.

Feel free to stay. Feel free to go.

So this is me unclapsing my finger.

This is my parting, my reluctance, my heartache and my final gift to you.

This is me letting you go.

[woojinieemoved]

Friends to Lovers!Kim Donghyun

member: kim donghyun // mxm

genre: fluff

writing type: bulletpoint

word count: 1.4k

a/n: lol im either gonna edit a bunch of my writings or just copy and paste so sorry if some look nice and some look crusty // this one is rewritten btw!

my masterlist

so it all started when you had a project in your first year of middle school

it was kinda big for a middle school class so your teacher randomly assigned people

and wow what a coincidence you got the one and only kim donghyun!!

you had no idea who he was so you assumed he probably went to another elementary school

meeting him wasn’t too awkward?? he was super smiley and spoke kinda loud but somehow you found comfort in that

ofc since you were partners for a project, you went to meet up at the library to do research

but like that ended REEEAAAAL quickly bcuz yall are too loud lol

first of all you werent even completely focused bcuz donghyun kept making super bad jokes that were funny as a middle schooler 

you’d both be laughing so fuckin loud that the librarian would have to kick you out

well ok looks like you’re going to your house to do continue the research i guess

your parents were like “omg you brought a boy home is this your boyfriend” bcuz yeah boy + girl hanging out = dating according to everyone

you looked really disgusted and donghyun looked awkward 

yall basically just met so why would you even think about that!! plus you’re in middle school you don’t care about dating yet

“guys you havent even said hi to him but you already made him uncomfortable he’s just my partner for this project we have to do in class”

even tho he felt awkward, he still kept his happy, polite self and introduced himself to your parents

since it was probably a bad idea to go back to the library, donghyun would frequently come over to finish the project

your parents grew to like him more (and so did u ;) ) and him coming over would be normal now

even after you finished the project, you guys basically became super close and you would hang out alot outside of school

every year, the both of you would be praying that you’d be in the same class

if you werent, you’d be late to your classes bcuz you dont want to separate yet

until the bell rings again then you’re dashing your ass down the hall

now it wasnt until you got into highschool where people were more serious and fuckin drastic

being the major flower boy that he is, he snatched the hearts of so many girls in school 

this means a shit ton of chocolates on the day of valentines !!

for him atleast lol

you never complained about not being able to get chocolates because he always shared the chocolates he got with you 

but like you also knew that some girl would be brave enough to call him out to confess to him

you may have accidentally walked in on some of them mid-confession

slams door open

“donghyun where the hell are you we need to get the limited edition plush at the arcade and you know damn that’s gonna take fore- oh” 

oops awkward for all of you 

aaaaanndd since this is highschool some girls are petty as hell and will be like “i’ll do anything it takes to be with oppar11!!!1!1″

so you occasionally get bullied

frequently

woops they spilled juice on your notebook

woops they thought your textbook was trash

oh no where did your bag go- its outside?? and the window is open??

it took a while for donghyun to notice that you were getting bullied by his fangirls

ok in reality he only noticed because you started to distance yourself from him because of it

dh: y/n? where are you? i thought we were gonna go to the cafe

you:  oh right sorry i had to go to the library for hw

dh: library??? homework??? ok its super obvious thats a lie where are you

you: wow can i not be responsible without being suspicious im just trying to pass highschool

dh: :/

dh: i know you’ve been lying alot lately y/n whats going on

you: well idk if youre just blind or stupid but your dumb fangirls are getting in my way and its annoying having to deal with them

dh: fangirls? what have they been doing? why do you have to stop hanging out with me?

you: ok youre just dumb...  

dh: omg are you getting bullied

you: yes you idiot those fangirls of yours are brutal

dh: y/n..... im sorry.. i didn’t see that

you: yeah i know its been happening for months

dh: well i’ll treat you to food to make you feel better so hurry and get to the park

you: but im at home

dh: you live 3 minutes away from the park

you: im already in bed with snacks and netflix

dh: ok fine i’ll come over then

you: wait get ice cream before you come back

dh: yeah yeah ok 

you wait a good 8 minutes and hear your door slamming open, your bed bouncing from donghyun whale flopping onto it

“you got the ice cream?”

he holds up the bag and says “right here”

“ok good lets make a fort now”

“why?”

you stared at him blankly 

“perfect reason i’ll get the blankets”

he gets up and runs to the hallway closet, grabbing the extra blankets your family keeps

you get up to find as many extra pillows so that you can use it to support the fort

takes yall a good 25 min to do but its worth it

you snuggle up under the fort and start to eat your slightly melted ice cream

after like 3 movies, your eyes start to get heavy since you’re warm under the blankets and donghyun’s arms

donghyun was pretty immersed in the movie so he didnt see you slowly drift off to sleep 

it wasnt until he was going to make some sort of witty comment to you about what was happening in the current scene

your cheek was pressed against his chest and your arms balled up in front of you

he smiles to himself and grabs his phone next to him to snap some pics of your sleeping face

he figured he should just go to sleep too since you arent awake to make dumb comments about the movie anymore

he closes your laptop and gently holds you to place your head on the pillow and shimmies himself to lay down as well

boom now you’re both dead asleep and snuggly

ok fast forward in time 

its your senior year and yall r kinda burnt tf out bcuz of college applications and scholarships

but wow its valentines again!!!11!

you were prepared to see donghyun struggling to carry a ton of chocolates but instead you were greeted to him holding a bouquet of roses and a bucket of fried chicken

“did someone give you chicken for valentines? is that their way of not being like everyone else and giving you chocolates”

he lets out a nervous laugh and steps closer to you

“no, but its my way of not being like everyone else” 

he holds out the bouquet and chicken in front of you

you stare at him like ??? lol ok

“wow is this finally my own gift of appreciation this year”

“in some sort, yeah”

“awwww thanks best friendddddd” you lightly smacked his arm and took the things from his hands

before you could take the time to look at the roses, donghyun grabbed your wrists and looks at you dead straight in the eyes

your heart sped up but you tried to make a joke to make it look like you werent nervous

“what do you want me to share the chicken?” 

“y/n can i kiss you” 

“wait what-”

he just goes in and plants his lips on top of yours

not too roughly tho

it was like a soft pillow on your lips and you did not pull away or complain at all

you leaned forward a bit to deepen the kiss since you couldnt really grab him or anything

cuz yaknow

ya got chicken and a bouquet occupying your hands

donghyun got the hint and hesitantly placed his hands on your hips

eventually the both of you couldnt breath so you pulled away and stared at each other

“im sorr-”

“shut up you absolute dork i cant believe you kissed me first before even saying anything” you teased

he shoved his face into your shoulder out of embarrassment and laughed

but it was all a scheme

he used that chance to whisper right into your ear:

“i love you y/n”

now its you shoving your face into his chest from embarrassment

“i hate you so much kim donghyun,...” 

me too y/n, me too.....

[fullmetaldemon]

Its important to me that people realize...

“During my time in the voltron fandom (starting from day one) I have shipped sheith. Which means that from the first day I have seen the hate and abuse that that sheith shippers have been subjected to. Klancers have been the main abuser and have used every excuse to justify thier actions and I for one find it ridiculus. Also i wanted to clear a few things up.

Ages are not confirmed until it is either in print on offical Volton merch or are blantantly stated in the show. All we were told is that they were Teenagers. Just because some looks a certain age means nothing we all grow differently. Ask any 20 year old girl that gets called twelve. HOWEVER, none of these characters are PREPUBESTENT CHILDREN which is the key factor of pedophilia. Age of Consent is diffent per state, around 16 to 18, so while in your state it may be 18 it is not that way for everybody else.

Lots of antis claim that shieth is abusive because Shiro is older and there MAY be an age gape. So I wanna say ALL SHIPS HAVE THE POTENTAIL TO BE ABUSIVE. No matter how good a couple looks on the outside you have no idea what goes onbehind closed doors. to say the sheith is abusive because of an unconfirmed age gape is ignorate. Klance has just as much potentional to be abusive depending on how it is written.

If you are likely to be triggered by anything it is your resposablity to take care of yourself. Stay out of tags that contain content you are sensative to. Block users that post that content. DO NOT ACTIVILY SEARCH FOR THAT CONTENT SO THAT YOU CAN YELL AT PEOPLE AND THREATEN THEM. You are no ones responcability but your own. I WILL NOT hold your hand when there are plenty of was to avoid sheith shipper ( there is a whole blog dedicted to telling you people you can block). If you have been in circustances where sheith may trigger you I send my condolances but it is not my problem and i will not change for you. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN CONTROL HOW COMFROTABLE YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET.

“you’re like a brother to me” is not the death of sheith. From what we have seen Keith does not have alot of connections to base his feelings on. SO maybe he does only see shiro as a brother ( and if he does that is fine, I’m not gonna kill myself over it) or maybe he has feeling that he cannot explain and goes for a word that for most means that Shiro is Important and a safe person to him.

What ever their relation ship is it is up to the Writers and I’m glad because they wrote this show that I Love and so do many other do to.

The viewers have no say in the show. I have seen so many Antis and Klancers threaten both themseles and other over ships. Have directly bullied the writers and voice actors over ships and all together acting like spoild chidren over things that cannot be changed. This show was prewritten long before the airing and your tweet of “Klance has to become canon or i will literally kill myself***” will literally change nothing. Just watch and enjoy the show that is given to us. Wanna change something? Fanfiction .net and Archiveofourown .org are great webstites to write how YOU want things to go. there is no need and does no good to throw a temper tantrum because all you will accomplish is annoy everyone around you, like a child.

Recently I have seen Klance is dead trending and Lots of post saying “its just a show, it doesnt matter” “I still have fanfiction LOL”. So i wanna know why was it not just a show when I was recieving death threats for Sheith but now that you know your ship will not be canon it is all fiction and doesnt matter. Why do you only develope tolerance and common decentcy once you reliazed you werent gonna get what you want?

Don’t come crying to any sheith shipper about how you are being bullied because they have been through So much worse.

*** You life should never be used as a barganing chip. Your life means so much more to your family and friends then a damn TV showand to say that you are choosing a fiction ship over EVERYBODY that has ever cared about you is the biggest insult I have ever heard. SHOULD YOU EVER DECIDED TO COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE OF A SHIP I WANT YOU TO LOOK THE PERSON YOU CARE FOR THE MOST IN THE EYE AND EXPLAIN TO THEM WHY A FAKE COUPLE IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THEN THE YEARS THAT YOU COULD HAVE TOGETHER. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO THREATEN A MEANINGLESS SUICIDE WHEN SO MANY HAVE LOST PEOPLE TO THIS EPIDEMIC. YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE.

Fiction is suppost to be an escape, but Antis have turned it into a battle ground. What we ship has no impact on our proffessionl life. No one will give you a premotion because you told a strnger on the internet to kill themselves. So go ahead and send me hate or threats because at the end of the day my ships will not change and once i close my laptop none of you exist anymore. 

[tmntfandom2012]

NO HARD FEELINGS

Note: This is from DeviantArt @ Mikibaby94

A/N: Im back with some ideas and mini stories! For my best friend's ideas to come into play in your imagination.

TMNT NEXT GEN BELONGS TO THIS GAL RIGHT HERE @Suzukiwee1357/ @suvipelkonen

Remy @Suzukiwee1357/ @suvipelkonen

Irrilia @myrling-art

Kohana @mikibaby94

IF YOU GUYS WANT MORE, PLEASE TELL ME, AND DONT WONT IM 95% SURE I CAN BRING IRRILIA INTO THIS. SO PLEASE PEOPLE FAVORITE COMMENT, ENJOY!!!!!

Hana stared at the blank computer screen, feeling the boredom draining her young teenage soul. She sighed as she folded her arms and lounged back against the pillow. She was in the pit of the living room, laying in her usual spot that she and her cousin liked to argue over all the time, but luckily her cousin was still no where to be found, but then again, he usually doesnt stay up half the nights. With that thought in mind, she closed her laptop and packed it up. She'd better go to bed before her uncle Leo caught her up again. He tends to do that, him or uncle Raph. Though when uncle Raph finds her, he just lets it go. Her uncle Leo lectures her forever on how its important to sleep more. She hoisted her computer bag, scratching at her messy hair, yawning. She looked at her watch, six thirty. Uh oh.

"And why are you still up missy?" A voice came from the shadows, suddenly arms wrapped around her neck, holding her in a head lock. "You should know better!" The voice added. Hana didnt think twice, she grabbed the beings arm, flipping the anonymous over onto their back, she was about to strike a punch when light captured the mutant before her. It wasnt her uncles, or her father. She huffed, making a strand of hair in her face blow. "Remy! You little---"

Remy snickered, smirking as he got to his feet and dusted off. "Oh man you should of seen yourself. You chicken."

Hana gave him a look, unimpressed, "This chicken just flipped your butt." She retorted in a matter of fact tone. "What are you doing up this early anyways?"

Remy shrugged, "Woke up, and just saw my sweet baby cousin here, all alone in the dim big living room, where monsters can just come and get her."

Hana kept her eyes on him, her face souring. "You dummy, we are the same age."

"According to our birth records, I am older than you." He said.

The brown eyed girl gave him a hard look before her eyes caught sight of her father and uncle Leo coming out of their rooms. Leo rubbed his eyes a bit, yawning. "Hana did you stay up again?" He questioned.

Hana shifted her eyes and gripped her bag, "No. I uh...just came out here---" She began then gave her cousin a look, "Remy was keeping me up off and on, finally i came in here to tell him to get to bed before his dad found him."

Leo's eyes drifted to his son, giving his son a look. Remy put his hands up and shook his head, "What? no way!"

"Of course thats what happened Remy, I mean why would I lie? I have no purpose in getting my older cousin in trouble...now would I? Now if you excuse me boys, I have to go get changed." She then started for her room and looked back to stick her tongue out at Remy, she turned her head back, hiding her big grin on her face as she heard Leo's lecture start.

***

Kohana opened her eyes, feeling better now she had slept a bit before going to training, she saw her alarm clock, Twelve O' Clock. Great. Once dressed she grabbed her weapon and came out of her room, ready to train, her tracks stopped when she saw her family in the living room, thats odd since her parents and uncles are always in the dojo around noon.

"You must of been wicked tired little dudette." Mikey spoke, settling himself next to Liz as he started munching on his slice in a way that would be disgusting if you had just met him.

Liz watched Mikey for a moment, a little confused by how he even eats like that. Her eyes shifted to her husband as if she was silently trying to send him something, in normal cases Leo would pick up on it, but his eyes were on Hana.

"Hana its four in the afternoon, youve been asleep all day."

"Thats not possible, my clock---" She stopped when her eyes drifted on the back of her cousins head, oh, so you wanna play it that way huh. She noted in her head, she folded her arms and thought. She then started water works, "Im sorry Uncle Leo, I just, Ive been so tired lately, my body is you know...going through...the change.."

That got all eyes on her.

"The change?" Mikey asked.

Hana nodded, "Yeah, I became a woman today, and the cramps, along with the none stop bleeding, its just been a long night. And not to mention the womanly body parts---"

Remy started screaming, covering his ears, "Dad make her stop! Make her stop!"

Leo looked already uncomfrotable, "Okay okay, we get it Hana."

"Thats not the only part Uncle Leo." She then stepped down and sat next to Remy, "I think my boobs are getting bigger----" She started saying over Remys yelling till April smacked her heavy books down on the floor making the room go silent. The silent lingered for a while as April flipped her hair out of her eyes. "Sorry I saw a bug." She said simply.

"And here I thought youd say something about our daughter torturing the young boy about hearing girls body parts." Donnie said.

"How is it torturing, there is nothing wrong with explaining women stuff, like right now my boobs are so swollen, i really think their balloons." Liz said simply, she then looked over at the others, "Oh what? its not like I said anything about my v---"

"Okay! Okay we get it...dear." Leo interrupted her, he sighed, feeling suddenly his age.

Donnie stood up, "Subject change, do you know when Raph and Irrilia are supposed to come back?"

Leo shrugged, "He said sometime tonight I think."

Hana stood up fast, in the process her hand smacked Remy in the face making him flinch, though she was oblivious to her actions, when it came to her older cousin she couldnt function right. She didnt know why, "My big cousin is coming home tonight!? Oh gosh! and I look like this!" She gasped.

Remy groaned, rubbing his face, "Why couldnt you have been a boy. and Why couldnt the only boy be near my age!" He glared at Donnie and April.

"Dont look at me kiddo, Koji just kinda fell into our lives, she...she just happened." Donnie said, he grunted when April smacked his arm before she stood. "Remy, Kohana, why dont you two get ready for patrol."

"Patrol? No way, I cant be bothered with that, I gotta hurry and get ready---"

"Its not like your dating her Hana." Remy grumbled.

"Well no, but shes my idol. Unlike some people who's a thorn in my side." Hana said closing her eyes and opening one eye looking at Remy.

Remy he didnt know why but her words struck a nerve, a bad one at that. He stood up, glaring at her. "You know what, fine. Your a pain in my side too." He snapped before making his way past his parents.

"Where are you going?" Leo asked a little frantic.

"Anywhere where miss know it all isnt in my sight." He sneered.

Hana silently watched her cousin go, frowning, guilt slowly overcame her when all eyes were on her. She looked down, turning to the rooms, she hurried to hide herself in the one place she felt safe. Her dads old room. Strange isnt it.

***

Remy stood on a roof top watching the bright lit city being lively. They werent kidding when they say this city never sleeps. He frowned, contemplating on wheather he should go back home or not, why should he, all he's gonna get is trashed by the princess of knows it all. He folded his arms. "I hate women. They're so annoying sometimes..." He shook his head. "No, I dont hate them, Hana's not even a woman, that'd be an insult to the pretty women." He grumbled.

"Whoa, who pissed you off?" A voice from behind spoke. Remy turned to see a tall, bulk asian guy staring back at him. The guy smirked big, "Awe, you kinda look cute with a pissy look on that face."

Remy curled up his lip, "And you look stupid with that face." He spat. The black haired guy snickered. "Thats adorable really, so whats your name? Chumpy?"

Remy scoffed, "No. Thats my fathers name though." From what he heard anyways.

"Im Yoshiro." He offered.

"I dont care." Remy said simply.

"Look kid Im trying to be nice to ya." Yoshiro said.

"Did I even ask you to? and Im not a kid you irritation on my plate." Remy spat, rolling his eyes.

Yoshiro scoffed, "Adorable."

"Your two seconds away from being road kill." Remy threatened making Yoshiro bellow in laughter making the fire of the angsty teen burn even more. Remy threw out a bokken his dad once handed down to him, before he could even move he suddenly felt a hit to his face, he gritted his teeth when he felt his back connect to he cement of the roof. In the process Remy dropped his bokken and before Yoshiro could decapitate him, he whipped out a small knife he's learned to keep in his wraps, he gritted his teeth, staring in the eyes of his now enemy. Slowly Remy felt the pressure of the guy putting, the blade coming closer and closer to his neck, luck was on the young mutant's side. Suddenly the human boy was shoved off by someone. A woman stood between the two, he watched in awe.

"Yoshiro! I tell you to do one job and yet I see you rivaling with a mutant whoms not your concern?!" The woman scolded. She turned to Remy, kneeling down, she held out a hand. "Remy? Are you okay?" She asked.

Remy eyed her, "Who...Who are you?" He asked sounding a little scared.

Karai carefully helped the young boy to his feet and held him up till he was steady, "Im Karai, your father and I have history. Im so sorry for my..." She looked back frowning, "Student."

Yoshiro stared at Karai for a moment before folding his arms and stared at his feet. Karai kept her eyes on him for a moment. Her eyes diverted back to Remy when he started moving for an exit. "Where are you going?"

"Home." Remy said.

"Ill follow" Karai spoke, already determined to, "I can explain that bruise on your face to your father, come on boys." She ordered.

Once in the sewers the sloshing of water as they made their way back to the lair was all that was heard, The boys walked side by side in silence till Yoshiro finally broke the silence. "No hard feelings?" He smirked at Remy as he kept walking while Remy stopped, his eyes drew daggers at the jerk, One day. He cursed in his head. The rest of the way stayed silent.

***

"Leo!" Karai called out, Leo came out of the kitchen at the sound of his name and stopped when he saw Karai, A smile slowly came to his face, "Karai, its been a while."

"Of course it has." Karai hugged him short before she made way for Leo's son, "Your son and my...student had a trival." She explained.

Leo went to his son frowning. "You okay kiddo?" He asked trying to hide his worry.

Remy looked back at the uglyness blinding his eyes, he looked back at his dad, "Id be better if that jackle----"

Leo closed his eyes and put his hand on his sons mouth. He shook his head cursing on how much his kid acts like his mother, sometimes thats a blessing and a curse. He opened his eyes and looked at his son, he pulled his hand away.

"Ow!" Remy snapped making sure his dad knew that he hit his bruise.

"Go see your mother." Leo said simply before rubbing his head a little embarrassed by that action. "She should be in the bedroom."

Remy sighed, turning for the bedroom, on his way he met Hana. Hana widened her eyes when she saw his bruise. She wanted to ask but decided against it, though she did go after him. "Remy? Are you still mad?"

"Passing by you should tell you that. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one." He spat before he was yeilded as she quickly got in front of him. Her eyes were red, and her cheeks were puffy. "Have you been crying?"

Her face turned red a bit and shook her head quickly. Her bangs covering some of her face. She looked nervous, and guilty. She had never been the best hider of feelings. "Im...Im sorry Remy, I sometimes just dont know how much of a jerk I can be."

Remy rolled his eyes, He folded his arms, "And?"

Hana looked at him confused for a moment, she surrendered anyways, "And Im a stupid girl with no heart...or brains."

"Aaaand?" He ventured.

Hana gave him a look, she looked away, her eyes shifting a moment, suddenly feeling anxious, she never knows why she does, her father swears its her anxiety. Whatever that is. "And Ill do your chores for a month to show how sorry I am." She looked up at him and smiled a little.

Remy's face slowly softened, His arms wrapped around her for a long moment before he pulled back. Her smile grew wider revealing her small gap, "So no hard feelings?"

The young hybrid gazed at her hand as she held it out, he then took it and shook it. "No hard feelings." He agreed.

Hana shook on it, giving out a small chuckle before her eyes caught sight of the boy standing afar. Her eyes grew big, she dropped her hand and went to the steps, "Oh...my...gosh..." She said, suddenly feeling a burst of emotions, her heart started racing as her palms grew sweaty so sudden, she gazed at the gorgeous face, those big brown eyes, that black hair. That body. Why did it get so hot suddenly. Remy went to his cousin and noticed her staring at him, he shook his head already knowing what was going through her head. "Dont even think about it Hana, he's bad news."

Hana couldnt help but to smile even more when the guy looked her direction, "If he's bad news, then I need some bad news." She said with a soft voice, "Hes so....perfect...Oh man, I think im thinking about it!"

Remy grabbed her arm, "I think my mom wanted us." He started dragging her to the room.

"Oh come on Remy, just let me say hi." She begged.

"No way, hi ends with you and him doing things." Remy glared a bit, "Thats how I was born, thats how you were born. No."

As Hana resisted and whimpered Remy hoisted her over his shoulder, he looked over his shoulder, glaring at the guy before he headed for the room, "Youll thank me Hana. He's bad news all over."

Hana propped her elbow on his shoulder, putting her chin in her hand, she kept her smile. "Whatever you say Remy..." She said, absolutely not listening at all to her cousin.

Whats bad is, Remy knew that, He groaned.

Oh how he hated this new guy.

[plusultrachaos]

i sometimes wish id never been born at all

prompt: dan, one day, wishes hed never been born. he is then visited by a "ghost" (another youtuber) who shows dan everybodys lives if he was never born. dan doesnt believe that anything is worse off until they show phils life which is simply a gravestone.

A/N: i did change somethings from the prompt. i also envisioned the prompt as something similar to the Scrooge.

word count: 2113

genre: angst and if you squint fluff

tw: there are mentions and a viewing of two suicides (the viewing is against dans will  and is only on one of two suicides) there are mentions of depression and bullying. if this is something that could trigger, harm, or cause you pain of any kind, i recommend not reading this oneshot.

________________

its one of dans bad days. its one of the bad days where hes trying to be social, at least talk to phil some, maybe a bit of action on social media, before his inevitable departure from society and hopefully his own exsistance for a little while.

while hes browsing on said social media, he feels phil leaning toward him and picking something from under dans eye, pulling his hand away to reveal a small, thick eyelash.

"howd you even notice that, phil?" his voice was soft, fond, and holding no surprise at phils ability to notice the little details.

"make a wish and i might tell you." phil wore a teasing smile as he failed to wink, the corners of his mouth crinkling, showing the smile wrinkles that had developed as the years of their friendship passed.

'i wish i were never born' was the wish dan had made, he wanted to go hide away, hide the wish hed made in his brain to echo there for hours. everybodys lives would be better, easier, if he hadnt been born in the first place, all the haters wouldnt have to hate him in the first place. phil would probably be further in life. his family wouldnt have him as a disappointment.

"i have to go to my room." he looked at phil, whos face was still in  sort of close proximity to his own face. he didnt say why, or what he was going to do once in there, but phil knew him well enough to understand why the younger man had been quiet the entirety of him being up and out of his room, why he hadnt laughed at a single funny thing that phil had shown him.

"okay. remember to drink water and come out of there when you need food, okay?" phils eyes held the usual, useless, concern that dan knew phil didnt actually feel. dan wasnt worth the concern and he definitely did not deserve the concern or a friend like phil at all.

he nodded, knowing that if phil didnt actually see dan out of the room to get food or water, hed personally bring the food and drink to dan. dan got up and numbly left the lounge for his room. he left his laptop there, knowing he wouldnt need it the next few days or so.

he collapsed on his bed, his thoughts going on about him being worthless and a disappointment, along with other degrading things. he turned his phone off, setting it on his nightstand. he curled up into a ball and became even more numb to the world. when he fell asleep? dan wouldnt have been able to tell you.

when dan woke up, it felt weird. it felt like what his lucid dreams used to feel like when  hed been a kid. he also didnt feel as he did when he assumed hed fallen asleep, furthuring the feeling of this being weird and unusual. well, those things, and the youtube god himself, pewdiepie, or felix as hed told dan and phil to call him when theyd met up in the past, standing at the end of dans bed.

"felix? why are you in my room?" he was slightly creeped out. he only ever really saw felix at youtube events anymore, and even then, it wasnt much.

"i know who this felix person is, but i am not him. i am the ghost of youtubers past." felix, or rather the ghost, said, the voice was eerily similar to felix' and it creeped dan out further. "recently, youve wished for something along the lines of never being born at all, am i correct to say this?"

"yeah, but hold up, why in bloody hell are you in my -me and phils- flat? howd you even get in?" dan looked confused, he was staying as far as he possibly could be from felix, or the ghost or whatever the fuck it was, which meant he was huddled against the headboard of his bed. "what has my stupid eyelash wish have got to do with any of this?"

"daniel, im here to show you how your friends and family would have really been if you hadnt been born. you see, your thoughts after the wish, about everybody being better off without you, were mostly wrong. your family, that thought, was the only one that was partially correct. yes, if they didnt have you as their son, all of the things that you think they think of you would disappear, but they would have still had two children. your grandma wouldve been just as close with them as she was to you." then suddenly, at the end of the ghosts words, dans room transformed, his fairylights  and comfortable bed morphing into something else. all dan could do was watch.

his surroundings had changed into a huge decorated and lit up christmas tree with wrapped gifts underneath. there were two children, a teenaged girl and a younger boy, perhaps a toddler, pulling at a christmas cracker. when the young boy ended up getting the bigger end of the game, the older sister said "happy christmas!" with fondness that made dans heart ache. the siblings looked close, and happy. happier than dan and his younger brother had been at those ages.  it made dan long for that kind of relationship with the lad. it also brought a bitter taste and thoughts to dan. the girl, for obvious reasons, wasnt dan. their mannerisms very  different, her smile lacking a dimple.

"yazzy, go help your mum in the kitchen." an old woman, that dan immediately recognized as his (or rather not his) grandma, walked in to the room. he hadnt visited the kind, aging woman in years, and seeing this made him feel guilty.

he turned to the ghost, tears forming and wetting his eyes. "can we leave? i already knew i was insignificant in their lives." he said this, his voice small as he looked away from the scene playing out before him. the ghost nodded and then they were in a different location once again.

it was his friend, louises current home. but it was empty, no baby toys or anything in the flat hed gotten used to being busy.

"louises success mightve been all her, but you helped in the process, being there when she needed a friend. she didnt have darcy because she never met her partner." the ghost said this with a grim look. dan looked around, sad eyes gazing everywhere. it was then he realized he hadnt rung up louise in weeks.

"fuck..." was dans whispered response to the situation.

the location faded again, taking them to a park. pj sat on the bench in front of dan and the ghost. he was talking to people that dan didnt recognize. "pj and chris never became a couple because you werent there to help them realize their feelings for each other." dan looked down at the ghosts words. they stung, knowing his friends hadnt gotten together just because dan hadnt been born.

" and chris? what would his fate have been if id never been around?" the ghost pointed at a man walking behind them, talking on the phone. he didnt spare pj a single look.

"without your constant encouragement, he dropped youtube. he got an office job and quickly climbed the ranks." the words sounded sad.

the location changed yet again, to a sight he never wanted to see again. they were in an unfamiliar bedroom, it was dark and there was an even darker silhouette hanging from a ceiling fan. dan feared the worst. the sight of it made dan want to curl into a ball. there was pounding on the closed door.

dan watched in silence, mouth open in a silent cry as the parents of the silhouette opened the door. the mother fell into the fathers arms, crying loudly. the father was frozen, terror shining in his eyes as he took in the sight of the cold and lifeless body. the  room faded into a plain, white room that had no soothing qualities to dan.

"that was ben. in a world with you in it, he would have found the courage to come out as a transmale and gay. without you, he never learned of his parents acceptance. he wouldve committed suicide if not for your videos." the ghost said this softly, its eyes sad. "this is the sad reality of the fans. some are not in good situations and so they turn to youtube for an escape. without your videos, a lot of fans dont have that escape." dans face grew even more sad as he realized that had been the same reality that he had faced before becoming a youtuber.

"and phil? what would have happened to him?" this question had been on his mind the entire time they had been in this weird dreamland. the ghosts already sad face saddened even more and the scenery changed once again.

dan looked confused as his eyes wondered around the area. they were in a graveyard in the middle of the day. except dan couldnt see any services being held that phil wouldve attended.

"where is he? why are we in a graveyard?" his questions were frantic as he continued searching for the wonderous blue-yellow-green eyes and the dyed black hair of his best friend. then his gaze landed on the gravestone of the grave they were in front of. he dropped to his knees, his face blank as he read the stone.

Here lies

Philip Michael Lester

January 30th, 1987-June 22nd, 2012

He was loved dearly by fans, friends, and family.

"phil didnt have a number one fan to skype him to take his mind off his problems, to correct him when he thought of how weird he was and how weird everybody was bound to think of him."

"unique. phil is unique, not weird." dan corrected without hesitation.

"that is what i mean when i say that. he didnt have somebody to do that when youtube comments started telling him he was weird. he didnt have someone to be an iconic duo with. he killed himself when it all got to be too much." the ghost went quiet after telling that to dan, most likely letting the man grieve his best friend.

dan had started sobbing loudly. "n...no no no. take me home, this cant be real, this is not real." he whimpered, his eyes were screwed shut as he sobbed over the possibility of his optimistic, cheery best friend taking his life. he missed the transformation of the landscape, still sobbing loudly by the time hed been back in the comfort of his bedroom.

the ghost was no longer there and there was loud knocking. and to dans relief, phil called out his name with concern that dan was now certain was genuine. phil came in, rushing to the side of the monochrome bed to take the brown haired crying man into his arms. he knew better than to ask what was wrong right away, so he just held him.

"phil, promise me you wont believe people when they say hateful things toward you?" he asked this in a panicked rush, his words stuttered as he looked with terrified eyes at phil.

" i promise." phil held dan close, the sound of his heartbeat tethering dan to reality.

"i had a dream." dan proceeded to tell phil about what hed wished and then about the dream he had afterward. when he was done, phil held him. dan was still crying, but it had subsided a lot with the knowledge of phil being alive. "im sorry, phil. i know i shouldnt have wished for something so morbid and sad, but it was before an episode and i cant control my thoughts during those." he cuddled to phils chest, sniffling.

" dan, you know i love you. you know im always going to be here to support and comfort you." phils voice was soft and supportive, deep unlike what the viewers usually heard. "you dont have to apologize at all for the way your brain works, just like i dont. im glad you realized that that wasnt real, but i dont want you thinking that i wouldve been better off without you because i wouldnt be as far as i am today if i didnt have you by my side. dont ever tell yourself otherwise." he smiled his amazing smile that was saved just for dan.

dan leaned into phils chest, breathing in the comforting scent.   he sighed as he realized that life would be better with him and phil still alive.

____________________

i did end up mentioning dans family, but i only did briefly dont hate me.

[damein-the-reaper-blog]

I recently moved to California it is nice an all but the people I moved up here with I just want to sock.

Let me explain. I came up here with $700. Only $100 went to gas. One of the two, which is a couple, paid the same. Which was nice. I didn’t have to waste $200 on gas. Then I spent about close to $300 on food since at the time I didn’t have food stamps. The rest was spend on weed for them. Yes I know probably wondering why I did so. The guy has back problems and weed helps him not feel it. Understandable. I’m also a nice guy. So I gave them the money. What upset me is that they don’t know how to conserve the weed. It was about $300 in weed that probably lasted less than a month. And it wasnt a full here is $300. I gave them that in totally within a month. See what I mean? Yes I could have said no. But his back problems are so bad that he will puke. I can’t stand that AT ALL. So of course no matter what I will step forward. Of course he paid me back in gas money and little bit of weed for myself at the time. Which is fine. But over the time I have been here. He has asked about 5 more times for weed money. He gets money checks for his back. And most of it also went towards weed. So I spent another $300 on them. That in totally is $600. I COULD HAVE HAD THAT FUCKING SAVED FOR BILLS. I’m not upset about what was already paid back. I’m just now realizing that they owe me close to $250. And here I was thinking he only owed me $60. And I know the guy isnt this dense to not realize this.

But thats not all.

About 3 times he said we ALL, meaning all three of us, should start growing a pair and keep the guest house clean. We use the dishes. I said every time that I have been waiting on them cause I was cleaning up after them. I did the dishes, I took their trash and put it in the trash bin, put their recycling in bags, as well as clean the porch of their dishes and trash, and sweeped everywhere. I’m a person that would keep a hotel as nice as they present it so that the cleaners wouldn’t have to do much or even nothing at all.

The guy proposed that since me and his gf work that he will be house bitch. His words not mine. So I was holding him up to it. And most of the time the guest house was fucking disgusting. Of course I blew up about it. Yet he twisted it around and was mad I was coming at him. I tried explained my past to him and either I was cut off and he explained his past or he wasnt really listening. And at the end he said he wanted to sock me for blowing up. Yes I could have not come at him the way I did. But can you blame me? I have a past of being a shadow to everyone and mostly stepped on by others. And most of the time already spend up here was cleaning up after them. And he wants to say that? I know he isnt dense. It was obvious 100% that they were using me.

Then later I thought everything was cool. Hoping that stopped them from stepping over me. And that we are on neutral ground and that we all equally keep the guest house clean. But the dishes was still mostly in the sink and the counters littered with trash. I ignored it cause I wasn’t going to clean up after them anymore. I expected them to understand that after my outburst of cleaning up after them. Me still stupid and not realizing they think themselves as entitled. Showed them where I was keeping my snacks and said they could eat certain ones. They were good about it. After everything was eaten. I got more and it was mostly towards chocolate this time. And stuff was disappearing. I am a sweet tooth but my teeth are sensitive so I can’t eat them as fast as they were disappearing. I did yell at them twice about it. And I was blamed. Saying I probably ate it and forgot. I immediately knew that was an excuse.

Also about 2 or 3 months ago I suggested that I would like to go to bed at 8 pm. So that I can get up early. They agreed. At the time I didn’t really care cause I felt free and that I can do what I want. My room was their living room cause I had the ps4. Once I started realizing that the past doesnt matter anymore I started noticing things. That they weren’t keep my room clean and that they were staying in my room till 1 or 2 in the morning. Me wanting to be a morning person and wanting to get up early was starting to get annoying. Cause I was being forced to stay up. So I asked them to leave at 10. That is two hours past the agreed time. They agreed to that yet still was pushing past the new time. They go to the porch afterwards anyways. I didn’t see the big deal they were making it be that they desperately needed to be in my room. I asked them again more firmly that they need to leave at 10 and they should be keeping my room clean. They were doing it but was doing so half assed. Some trash was still on the ground. Not all their dishes were taken. Their cans weren’t put up. Most of the trash that were in my trash cans were overfilling and theirs. As well as the bags for the cans were overfilling. I also noticed someone was still eating my snacks. All of that showed they had no respect towards me. And the guy wants to talk about trust. They lost my trust once they started walking over me and doing as they please. So I wrote rules down.

All they had to do since using my room was 3 simple rules that to me was common sense. Keep friend room clean since I’m using it, take his dog for potty breaks since he is at work, and leave his room at his desired time. The last one I didn’t make clear until later. But they werent even doing the most known rule of all time which was the first one. Which to me showed they probably either didn’t view me as a friend at all or didn’t give a shit about disrespecting a friend.

The rules I wrote down were-

Leave at 10. No ifs, ands or buts about it. 

Keep my room clean. I should have put half ass isnt acceptable.

A new rule- On off days only smoke. No ps4 or tv. It was to not have me distracted on me researching stuff. And that whenever I decided I could play my games. And I put- if you cant do 1 tiny thing on list no tv or ps4. Yet I come home to find the tv gone, the harddrive that he gave me gone, their stuff gone, and the chair they put in my room gone. Which showed they were petty and not willing to go by my rules. And if I confront them about it they will either cover it up or I would figure out who was being entitled and everything would finally go back to when we first came up here with no walking over anyone.

I confronted the guy and he denied hard. He twisted stuff around as well as not giving a shit what kind of past I had. Which is the most stupidest thing I heard. Cause a persons past shows through peoples actions and how they view others. And explaining a persons past gives others ideas on how a person would react to anything. And that told me he did not view me as a friend and didnt have respect for me. Yet in the argument he was hurt when I said I didn’t trust him. I wanted to say- did you already forget what you guys did to me? I think we got to a stale mate and that he actually finally understood me and where I was coming from. Yet he said that me in the business is decided by his gf. In the argument he explained stuff of his gf on how she viewed me.

That I spend all my money on stupid stuff. At the time I agreed cause in the past I did so. But since moving to California I haven’t done no such thing. The only things my money went towards is food, my dogs food, my dogs toys, my dogs leash and harness, my glasses for looking at my phone and laptop, an avengers 22 ticket, $5 bag of clothes, notebooks, pens, calendar, and small white board. Only one thing on what I just listed was stupid. The avengers ticket. Yes it was a nice experience besides me needing a new tire, my cars engine crapping out and having to pay parking. I dont see what they mean by that. When I look at them money wise. I see them spending every last cent towards weed and stupid stuff. Like the gf complains on her feet. Yet doesnt get foot insoles but instead gets hair dye. 

And the bf said that his gf was tired of working her ass off and seeing me blow my money and me complaining about rent. I look back now and think what? From what I listed, besides the avengers ticket, was me blowing money? All that stuff I bought was over a period of time. And most of my money was going towards bills that I had. And I’m using everything that was bought. So really anyone reading this tell me how was I blowing money? The only person blowing money is them. Cause if they conserve the weed they get to actually last more than an day they would have more money. And I truly mean that. From what I see them getting, it could last them at least a week or two. Yet it only lasts them for maybe 3 days. Cause they dont care about conserving it.

He also said that she was done of my drama. I think back now and think what? What drama? You mean me yelling at you guys for eating my shit? You mean me getting pissed off at you guys for not keeping my room clean and its mostly your stuff all around my room? You mean me getting pissed off that you wont get out of my room at my desired time? You mean me getting pissed off at you guys for not knowing basic manners?

Yes I did blow up over rent. That one was my bad cause if I realized sooner where my money was going which was fast food. I would have had money for rent for at least one of the months. And supposedly I didn’t pay rent for 3 months. The first month was understandable why I didn’t cause I was transfering to another dominos but the guy was transphobic so it didn’t work out. The second month was also understandable. Cause I was in the beginning looking for a job. My mother texted saying I’m probably not doing so and she did it for me. Applied to at least 20 jobs. So I thought oh great I will probably hear back. But I did not. The third month I just got a job and all my other bills mattered over rent. My car and phone bill. Cause I was a delivery driver. Having such things was a necessity. I told him once I get enough saved I will pay her back.

I’m just tired of being stepped on. It was obvious 100%. Yet it has been denied but apologized for. And he said he was going to come tell me if I’m in the business stil or not. But he hasnt even come tell me. Its been a week. What is there to decide? I hope things are finally now on neutral grounding. But now looking back and hearing the gf cry and sound frustrated outside makes me think she is still playing the victim. I dont know if its her pretending and its always been her or if its been the bf thats been stepping all over me and she knows and thats why she cried. Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if it was both. Just tired of it all. They need to stop play pretend and wake up. I’m tired of using my past for them to understand where I’m coming from. It should be basic manners. I forget not everyone knows those.