#SOMETHING BAD HAS TO HAPPEN EVERY MONTH | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sinningvin · 1 month

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I’m so MAD because when I got the money the plush sold out and every has their wheatley plush EXCEPT ME and NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS HOW SAD I AM AND HOW DUMB I FEEL ALL THE TIME NOW

#I’m just really sad #I want to fucking hug my wife and now I CANT #and I’m so scared he’s like never gonna be in stock for a long time and ill miss it again #I need him or the horrors could get really bad this year #like I had at least two paranoid episodes that was hell on earth #I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO FUCKING BE THERE FOR ME BECAUSE MY FAMILY DOESNT LOVE ME #I WANT SOMEONE IN MY HOUSE THAT LOVES ME #I DONT FEEL LOVED IN MY HOUSE ANYMORE #I HATE THIS SHIT I WANT MY WIFE #PLEASE I WANT TO HUG MY WIFE I MISS HIM SO MUCH AND HES GONNA BE THERE FOR ME #BUT I CANT HAVE FUCKING NICE THINGS #I FUCKING HATE THIS PLEASE JUST MAKE THIS YEAR STOP I HATE THIS SHIT SO MUCH #SOMETHING BAD HAS TO HAPPEN EVERY MONTH #I AM LOSING MY GOD DAMN MIND I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO START CRYING #I HATE LIVING LIKE THIS AND I CANT CONTROL ANYTHING #I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER MY LIFE AND I HATE IT. THE ONE JOY I CANT HAVE AND NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS ME #i’m so tired #I’m sorry I needed to hashtag vent #tw vent #I feel like I’m stupid because I’m stuck in so many bad situations and the one time I try and have agency it doesn’t work and I feel dumb #and like I can’t do anything

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juniemunie · 6 days

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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

#junie art post #ink sans #error sans #utmv #errorink #implied. but yea not the focus #this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word #we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more #isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad #and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out #we put it away. abandon and leave it behind #what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating #yea that never left me #and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH #imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse #mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life #but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant #but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao #ahhh my favorite idiots. never change #mmmmm #deltarune

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nonokoko13 · 4 months

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If I see someone else trying to defend Kalim/Jamil by attacking the other or their enjoyers and misreading and boiling down their characters by saying Kalim is stupid or how Jamil is the only one at fault in their situation I'll be the one overblotting. Why you pit two victims of an awful hierarchy system they weren't asked to be stuck with. Why you have to treat people who respectfully disagrees with you in something like a series or a character interpretation like they're criminals who must be shamed or punished with death. How do you play a game that relies on narrative without actually reading. Why can't you use the block/mute button instead of engaging in a conversation you know it will be unpleasant for all parts to make it a fight you want to win. And why I see so many mysoginy/misandry in a game that it's about a lot of male characters with a main character who can be the gender you imagine them to be

#twisted wonderland #fandom drama #I'm not exaggerating when I say twst western fandom is one of the most toxic fandoms I have ever had the bad luck to interact with #I have seen a lot of people stop playing or drawing twst because they felt like they were in a witch hunt #over something so harmless like saying they like Vil or Rook or Neige or Jamil and they're their faces #some dude (a minor I believe) killed himself because the amount of negativity he encountered for being a Vil fan amd using he/him #a very weird thing when REDDIT USERS out of all social media turn out to be the most chill #Twitter is a given that they nuclear toxic but like ?? even for twitter standards the level of toxicity is concerning and crazy #and tumblr I have no idea because I'm not updated with drama but I'm pretty sure it's a “vanilla” version of the twt twst fandom #every month I see something bad has happened god I love this game very much but this fandom sucks #at least the english one idk the rest #jamil viper #kalim al asim #♡ — shut up noko #vent post #i guess #I'm glad I found this series I just don't want to stretch my patience with people who search trouble or make it up when they're bored

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famewolf · 2 months

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speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling

#[static]#it's hard to describe succinctly but the anxiety I deal with nowadays is directly related to my ocd and autism #some anxiety is so easy to brush off but the ones stemming from my ocd are extremely difficult to get out from under #i'll spiral for weeks about one specific thing and ruminate on it and mentally worry and pick at it forever #it's utterly exhausting jfkdghdf some days are easier than others #and often that one thing I ruminate on becomes multiple things all stemming from the first thing #like recently it's been my car ... the thing is totally fine ... runs fine drives fine but ive been freaked out by it for the last 3 weeks #every time i go into the shop theyre like ... everything is good in fact its in good condition for its age and they'll mention like #one thing that will need to be replaced to keep it in tip top condition and then my brain will fixate on it and imagine all the ways #something horrific will happen if that doesnt get changed and then that leads to all the other things in the car suddenly freaking me out #i defs used to have general anxiety and depression but those went away literally the day i got top surgery #poof instantly gone it was wild and i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop #never did but now my ocd has been really bad the last 6 months cuz of all the extra horrifying things going on #so i thought it was just my anxiety coming back but this week i realized it was my ocd and have been treating it accordingly #and ive seen some relief but i definitely need to go back to therapy once i get my insurance again #its the only way to get a hold on it and my last therapist ended up moving states so we didnt get to work on tools for it very much #im yapping at this point i just needed to vent for a second about how truly yucky ocd makes me feel

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emometalhead · 21 days

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#having a day full of mixed feelings #I suppose this is how life goes #I'm officially done with my Bachelor's degree as of today #obviously I'm proud of myself for the accomplishment and I was excited to be celebrated today #it was a long and difficult road and there were many times where I didn't think I'd live to see it through but I made it #I'm the first person in my family to get this degree and I was really looking forward to having today be my day #I had a really lovely morning and then things kind of waned #there were a few arguments. someone I spent the day with repeatedly made negative comments about something I care about #it felt awful. I know it was intended as more of a playful jab than anything but I directly asked for the comments to stop and they didn't #it especially hurt that it was a fandom thing and the person is so invested in their own fandoms yet they felt it fair to step on mine #even though I've never done that to them #then people kept talking over me and acted like I was wrong for trying to interject to finish my own sentences #also as I said in the last post I was deeply upset by how my family members spoke of my 12 year old cousin #she's just a kid and some of our close family members have such a nasty opinion of her. she's so young and she's had a rough few years #but it seems like no one except my brother and I are willing to give her any grace #I think everyone else has forgotten what it feels like to be a kid and feel as if the world is against you #on a more positive note. I had a decadent slice of chocolate cake. it was heavenly #unfortunately I was really too in my head to fully enjoy it #literally every day for 3 weeks I've been talking about the lunch I planned to have today #I knew exactly what meal and dessert I wanted from the restaurant. it's my absolute fave and isn't available at any other local restaurant #I was totally starving by time we got to the restaurant. we were out all morning and I ate a tiny breakfast in anticipation of this meal #when we got there we found out they removed what I planned to order from the menu. I was devastated.#I know it's stupid but like this was the one part of my day that I've had planned for MONTHS and I've been thinking about it for weeks #we had a 40 minute car ride where I mentioned my excitement for the food no less than 10 times so this crushed me #also I'm just really picky in general and typically restaurants only have one or two things I'm able to eat #I offered to just eat the dessert while everyone else ordered food because they were all really hungry too but they wouldn't allow it #we left the restaurant and I still feel horrible for walking out. if I had known the item was removed we wouldn't have even gone there #it happened so recently though and I feel dumb for not even thinking to check the menu online beforehand #so we went to another restaurant and I barely ate anything and now I have no appetite for dinner and I feel bad for ruining the afternoon #even though it's my day and my celebration and I feel like I'm entitled to a slight amount of unreasonableness

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arielluva · 26 days

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actually so funny (it isn't) that everytime i struggle to do something and i tell my parents about it they just respond with "you just have to do it." like. guys. if i could "just do it" i would NOT be complaining about not being able to do it!!

#this has happened so many times. why is that their default response #during online school 'i have 87 missing assignments and i cant concentrate on them. help.' 'just do them?' 'wow why didnt i think of that..#or my dad trying to imply that i had that many missing assignments on purpose??? buddy i am the same kid that would've rather died than-#-miss school. do you seriously think i would be behind on that shit on purpose??? in what world #every single time i struggle to do something and want advice they just tell me to do it. as if i couldn't have thought of that #especially when i realized part of why online school didnt work for me is because school and home were no longer separate #whenever i was at school (or just a general separate place where im Supposed to work on stuff) i could do it just fine #outside of school i would procrastinate so bad and have no motivation or concentration for anything #i told my mom i needed a separate place to work that wasnt my room and my personal computer. she told me to 'just do it'#and suddenly when i have a separate room and computer to work on (especially in a room i already had to work in before that)#suddenly i was able to concentrate! and get shit done!#and yet this same situation will probably happen again lol. bc my parents dont like listening and taking my mental problems seriously #but like. getting my own space allowed me to finish like 5 tarot cards in quick succession. in the previous MONTHS i only finished 3.#'hm i wonder why i could finish so many cards within a week. surely its not because of what my child said would help.'#like it mustve just been that i locked in somehow. not that i got accommodations.#anyway holy fucking essay i just typed out. i need to shower rn anyways. enough rambling from me for now

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khlur · 10 months

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every time i talk w my parents i have to remind myself not to get swayed by their doting affectionate act.

#i mean see #becoming older has made me recognize and appreciate them for a lot of what they did #but to say that i am doing anything except lip service to them rn would be an exaggeration #our relationship has improved but i have made it clear that i never intend to live with them ever again #that the honeymoon period will last 2 days max #they'll cry their crocodile tears #and the emotional abuse will restart like it never stopped #that the physical abuse would have continued if i didn't threaten them by throwing chairs and a knife #like....these past few months have given me such fucking WHIPLASH #it almost makes me forget just how dysfunctional our dynamic has been #how i got away relatively well adjusted because i psychologied myself through clinical and counselling psych classes #how they refuse to take the blame absolutely for my brother's issues surfacing now in his adulthood #ever so often something so viscerally twisted will happen on a call or on the group chat which makes me want to hurt myself #and that serves as a wake up call abt how bad shit used to be #and how glad i am to be away from it all #but every few weeks i will be lulled back into thinking that maybe things weren't so bad #i'm also swayed so much by the people around me rn who hesitate so much to talk about anything that isn't small talk #either that or they're people who really love their parents and enjoy spending time with them #and i'm like....respectfully i cannot relate and neither can the bamboo rod that once broke in two bcs of how hard my parents wielded it <3 #and ofc when families come up in conversation everyone acts like it's a normal thing for there to be ups and downs #w so much unsaid and implied about how i'm actually an ungrateful POS who can't appreciate their parents sacrificing so much for me #hehe. no thanks. keep ur judgement to urself

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steakout-05 · 3 months

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eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P

additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly

#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it #and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website #as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people-#-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were-#-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered #also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it #this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone-#-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious #i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :(#i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles #it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on-#-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help.#unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that-#-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also-#-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes-#-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything''#and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think-#-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me''#and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point #be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying #and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child.#be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo #if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows-#-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like #trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you #social anxiety #anxiety disorder #i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11-#-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me #anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y

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sonknuxadow · 1 year

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i think it would be the plot twist of the century if rescuesonic3 and that one person who was sending weird graphic asks about sonic characters to everybody a while back were the same person

#i know i said before that i wouldnt say their url publicly but they deactivated that specific blog so i dont feel bad about it now #do people even remember the torture guy #if you dont remember or just werent into sonic at the time basically they were spamming random sonic fans with asks and dms #that were just long ass messages about how they would torture or kill certain sonic characters #and bad things that they wish would happen to them. it was So weird #and they had like a million different blogs because people kept blocking them and they wouldnt take that as a sign to fuck off #i remember they kept bothering me for months even after they stopped sending stuff to every single sonic blog ever #but rescuesonic3 seems to be targeting sonic movie blogs specifically rather than general sonic blogs #and also they dont really talk about the same characters that torture guy liked to focus on #so maybe they are different people. but i cant help but wonder because some of the stuff theyre saying has a similar vibe #they havent interacted with me at all but i feel like now that im saying something about it its gonna summon them LMAO

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dullahandyke · 5 months

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Ok hi I'm back I got the pet death paranoia again

#sister has a couple friends sleeping over and logically theyll just ignore bubbles and put her to bed #but my sister always gets so bratty when her friends come over and i dont like her friends #so im worried something bads gonna happen :(#< gets this worry apropos of nothing every couple of months regardless #sigh ig ill read fic

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boilingheart · 6 months

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that's it. im writing a suicide note on linkedin