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#STREET SMARTS
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i don't pick up callers who say unknown. like my guy, you call me and are a stranger??? i feel like i would just not get to talk to a psycho killer in a horror movie. like i would never pick up until they got ahold of someone in my contact lists' phone. even then i would be like, they never call, this is clearly a pocket dial.
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4r14nn3 · 1 year
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need-a-name-101 · 3 months
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Whenever I read street smarts, I am reminded of this:
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icarusxxrising · 8 months
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I really need to stress to anyone that calls themself Antifascist that you should absolutely not wear anything Antifa related in public unless you've accepted that there's a chance you will be confronted violently.
You can cry I'm fearmongering all you want, the truth is that the public is not going to keep you any safer than it would keep fash safe. Why do you think fash don't walk around with a huge decal on their shirt that says "I AM A NAZI" on it when running errands? They know they'll get their shit kicked if they're caught out alone by the wrong crowd.
The same can happen to you. If you wanna wear an "Antifascist Action" shirt be my guest but you need to understand that Fash can corner you somewhere and at best humiliate you, at worst you'll end up dead.
If you wanna make the choice to wear Antifa stuff irl, then at least be trained, carry, and be ready. Don't underestimate the enemy, they're Scum but they're violent Scum who fetishsize the chance to humiliate or beat someone who got way in over their heads. I'd rather see you out with a casual shirt helping people in need than flaunting your AFA 161 Shirt and then ending up in the hospital because you weren't ready.
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johnemulaney · 11 months
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defensive-tactics · 18 days
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Threat Awareness
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poppy5991 · 8 months
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Deku: What was hero commission training like?
Lady Nagent: They were always calling assemblies. We had the same speaker every year when I was a kid, his name was Detective JJ Bittenbinder.
Hawks: YES! He was a child homicide expert and you’re seven years old and you’re sitting five feet away from him. He’s still got blood on his shoes.
Lady Nagent: He was the weirdest goddamn person I ever saw in my entire life. Bittenbinder came every year with a program to teach us about the violent world waiting for us outside the school gym, and that program was called Street Smarts!
“Time for Street Smarts with Detective JJ Bittenbinder. Shut up! You’re all gonna die. Street Smarts!”
That was the general tone. He would give us tips to deal with crime.
Hawks: He came one year for assembly. He goes, “Okay, when you get kidnapped…” Not if, when. I thought I was going to be murdered my entire childhood.
People were like, “What are your top three hero agencies?” I was like, “Top three agencies? I thought I would be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.”
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pratchettquotes · 2 years
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Finding a niche for Fred Colon had been a problem. To look at him, you'd see a man who might well, if he fell over a cliff, have to stop and ask directions on the way down. You had to know Fred Colon. The newer coppers didn't. They just saw a cowardly, stupid, fat man, which, to tell the truth, was pretty much what was there. But it wasn't all that was there.
[...] Nobby and Colon had a street-level knowledge that rivaled Vimes's own. They ambled about, apparently aimlessly and completely unthreatening, and they watched and they listened to the urban equivalent of jungle drums. And sometimes the drums came to them.
Terry Pratchett, Thud!
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svtskneecaps · 2 years
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soulmate! woozi
howdy! i’m back. has it really been a year and 8 months? time flies. i did promise i’d finish this series someday
for those new, i’d like to note that the series is semi-interconnected and though each installment can be read alone, i like to think the experience is richer if you’ve read through the whole thing. links can be found in series order under the gif if you’re into that <3 fair warning though i started this series in 2018 and the one for seungkwan is the first writing i ever posted to this blog
reader x woozi ; fluff ; words : 2k
synopsis: in a shocking twist of fate, the climax isn’t meeting your soulmate--it’s meeting their band.
soulmark: the song in your head is the song your soulmate is singing.
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Seungkwan || The8/Minghao || Hoshi/Soonyoung || Junhui || Jeonghan || Joshua || Mingyu || Vernon || S.coups/Seungcheol || Wonwoo || Woozi/Jihoon || DK/Seokmin || main masterlist
you grew up with Music
like, there was nary a time there WASN’T something playing, either in your ears or in your house
you sang your little heart out in the car and in school and on the way home and even in grocery stores, it was a THING
everyone who knew you agreed that your soulmark was going to be musical of some kind, there’d been bets on that since you turned six
sure enough, shortly after you turned ten, you started hearing music in your head from songs you’d never heard
the Universe, it seemed, just got you
it took a bit of back and forth to hash out the specifics, but eventually you nailed down the precise mark: singing
from there, it was pretty easy to have full conversations with your soulmate, provided that you could find the proper lyrics to convey the thoughts
(you learned about a lot of weirdly specific songs in the pursuit; who knew there was a whole song about a pirate who dreamed of singing on broadway? trick question, you did)
it was actually kind of fun, trying to find songs to convey the words you were thinking--if a bit annoying when you couldn’t find them
maybe that was why you were a little surprised when eventually you started hearing music that was mostly unproduced, one boy’s steady voice accompanied by a lone guitar
looking up the lyrics you were hearing produced no results, so either your soulmate was even better at finding oddly specific songs than you were, or they were writing their own
(damn, dude, they’re out here making you look bad over here smh)
you felt uniquely privileged at hearing your soulmate grow as a lyricist, and you did your best to follow his tracks, building your own arsenal of musical talents in the process
you were determined to become the world’s most feared and beloved set of songwriters and by jove the way your soulmate was going, you would succeed
he told you when he became an idol, parroting that pirate song back at you (although it took a bit for you to parse out that he wasn’t going to broadway specifically)
that was EXCITING AS HELL, especially considering the laws of the Universe meant that exchanging names or identifying details was impossible (even when you tried both finding and writing a song that included your name in it, it didn’t make it through, damn you Universe)
suddenly, looking up the lyrics to one of his songs could very possibly, VERY SOON, yield real results that you could realistically follow up on, if everything went to plan
and everything did, to NOBODY’S surprise (except maybe his, despite your repeated assurances that you’re the best! around! nothing’s gonna ever keep you down!)
(an unforeseen drawback to the idol life was the fact that he was now singing the same songs a lot of times, and both of you had to listen to it ad nauseum, but at least the songs were good)
you googled the lyrics you were hearing and immediately discovered his band (and also the reason why he’d been singing ‘dancing queen’ when talking about his idol life)
from there, it was actually pretty clear who he was: lee jihoon, producer, singer, songwriter, dancer, handsome, etc. and though you weren’t anywhere near each other, geographically, you could finally establish internet contact and send him memes, instead of trying to describe two bros chilling in a hot tub using the screaming cowboy song
it took a combination of time, concentrated effort, a twitter account with a picture of his face, a video of one of your own original songs, a display name referencing a buccaneer singing on broadway, and SINGING NOTHING BUT THAT SONG FOR WEEKS to finally exchange phone numbers, but you got there and you never had to do it again thank GOD
there wasn’t any real rush to meet in person, for you two
you’d been doing ‘long distance’ since you were ten years old after all
you facetimed whenever your schedules lined up, texted when they didn’t, shot memes back and forth and sent clips of whatever instrumentals you happened to be working on, since they didn’t go through the soulmark connection unless there happened to be lyrics
you didn’t realize he hadn’t told the members he’d already found his soulmate until seungkwan found his during one of their tours
all the members gushed about how it was ‘the first of many’ in interviews and you’d figured it was for publicity’s sake, up until you saw the look on your soulmate’s face
like a mixture of smug and chagrin
you texted him like soooo do the members know you found your soulmate?
no, he said, they’ve been teasing seungkwan about his soulmate being a fan of the band since predebut, thought i’d save us the trouble
and that was absolutely fair enough, even if you also thought it would be hilarious
very quickly after seungkwan, other soulmates began to pop up through their world tours--tours that were becoming more and more common with each passing month, considering how many soulmates had leapt out of the ground at off-continent concerts
they were also taking themselves very close to your location, which lead the both of you to seriously discussing meeting up irl for the first time (although, of course, that came with a whole HOST of issues; namely, it was practically expected by this point that a seventeen member being out in public meant finding a soulmate, considering vernon’s experience in the coffee shop and s.coups hauling ass across an entire city)
though, you hadn’t actually spoken to jihoon’s members straight up yet, although you’d heard a lot about and from them, through a combination of conversations with him and online interviews
maybe it was time?
you didn’t come to a decision before the tour date you had tickets for, so you ended up quietly meeting in an empty and conveniently unlocked conference room in their hotel
as it turned out, your mark qualified as a ‘vague mark’, throwing sparks at first touch
the way you discovered this was through an unenviable ACCIDENT, in the midst of a wonderful conversation
he’d brought his guitar down, and you were both looking over a chord progression jotted down in a phone note, recording as you brainstormed, and you’d leaned forward over his shoulder to get a better look, and happened to lean your torso against his
fucking FIREWORKS
naturally this scared the SHIT out of both of you, considering it threw heatless embers WAY TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT that crackled like a motherfucker and looked like actual fire
it didn’t set off the fire alarm or set anything on legit fire (though it singed his hair and your sleeve), so no harm no foul, but hell if that wasn’t going to be a sound you heard in your dreams for the next six months (and god dammit but you liked that shirt)
“at least it wasn’t in public” he said, when the last spark winked out, and you had to agree there
that would be an Event, to be sure
of course, the best thing to come out of it was that you’d happened to record the moment, and now had audio of your mark sparks
(both of you, in your infinite wisdom, wrote and mixed songs sampling the sound within a startlingly short time; jihoon’s song for you became your text tone, and yours his ‘take a break’ alarm)
of course, with soulmates popping up left and right, the members seemed to take more of an interest in jihoon’s mark
considering he was among the final four, there was a lot of speculation among the fanbase on what his mark was or would be, especially after the soulmark speculation twitter account turned out to be joshua’s soulmate and had stopped posting about seventeen’s soulmarks entirely
the members already knew what his mark was, and they knew he was regularly in contact with you, they just assumed he didn’t know who you were and vice versa
jihoon kept you up to date with sneaky voice recordings of them speculating what you would think when you realized he’d written the song you kept hearing
bets seemed to range between “proud as hell” and “pissed as hell”
it was hilarious listening to them theorize and speculate themselves into circles over it, especially considering you’d been present for the brainstorming process of most of the songs they’d released
that did mean, however, that the eventual reveal had to be GOOD, like REAL good
jihoon had managed to keep finding his soulmate a secret from all twelve members of seventeen for multiple multiple years and even AFTER most of the band had found their own
THIS WAS IN NO WAY AN OPPORTUNITY THAT COULD BE WASTED
you brainstormed a good few ideas before finally settling on a plan
“GOOD” as it turned out, could also mean simple
so, when jihoon and crew swung back through your exact city on tour, you put the plan in action, and that plan goes like this:
1. you go to the concert
2. seventeen performs their concert
3. seventeen returns backstage at the end of their concert
4. seventeen jokes about one of the final members finding their soulmate
5. jihoon doesn’t interact, simply leaving the room
6. jihoon goes to the side entrance, where you’re waiting
7. you return to the room
7.5 whoops, you didn’t expect anyone to be wandering the halls though you probably should have considering step 5 of the plan implies Hard Feelings, and here’s seokmin chasing him down to apologize for taking the jokes too far
7.5.5 seokmin goes completely slack-jawed
“IS THIS YOUR SOULMATE?” he shrieks at an ear rending volume with far too much energy for someone who just finished a full concert
even with a roundabout path that sort of response leads perfectly into step 9:
“yeah” jihoon says
with all the efficiency of an emergency warning system the siren shriek sends seventeen SPRINTING down the hallway towards you, and the clamor of excitement is better than you could have hoped for
they’re already asking questions, “are you a carat?” “were you at the concert?” “did anyone notice him playing to one side of the stage?” “how long have you known?”
and you laugh and he laughs and you say, “we’ve known since predebut”
“WE?”
with the ruckus that sets off, you can’t believe they just finished a concert, how do they have the energy for this?
they threaten to tease jihoon forever for not telling them, they curse the heavens for keeping this from them (“not the Universe” you tell them; it’s not a minghao situation, pure skill was all that was used to hide it from them), they demand the details, the whys, the hows
and you oblige, of course, and you don’t stop grinning because jihoon was right, them winding themselves up over everything is way funnier than winding them up yourself
after that, it doesn’t take long to slot into the dynamic
you and jihoon stick to the long distance you’ve got going on; there’s things you’d like to finish where you’re at and it’s worked for so many years already, what’s the rush?
the only real differences are the new group chats clogging your phone and the fact that your facetime conversations get crashed more often, since now anything jihoon does on his phone is apparently “immediately suspect”
you don’t mind much, since it’s not like they do it EVERY time, and they quit after the shock finally wears off
in the end, the dust settles, and you’re beyond content
after all, you only stood to gain here; you’ve always had your soulmate and that night only sealed the deal
if you were being sappy, you’d say his melody and yours formed a duet without trying
really though, you just liked working with him, be it bouncing around lyrics or tunes or the best way to reveal the longest lie-by-omission prank known to band-kind
look out world, here comes the most feared and powerful songwriting pair on the planet (they never even saw it coming)
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teribears · 10 months
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Newest layout for my grandson’s art journal. I keep trying to add inspirational/funny pages throughout his book and I hope he likes them as much as I do and he loves the work and love that went into each one. Created by Teri French
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dreamy-conceit · 1 year
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It is absolutely amazing to me that you have created this social media empire for yourself, yet you don't understand the concept behind soup.
— Frankie Alvarez, 'The Basement Yard' podcast, ep. 393.
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felt-squirrels · 11 months
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SHUT UP
you’re all going to die
STREET SMARTS
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One episode in and I am in love with him already.
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meanferalbutch · 1 year
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If there’s one thing about me as a mutual it’s that if you post an ask meme and I see it you will not go without anons it is this I promise to you because them anon messages be brightening my day and I want yours to be brightened
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sprnklersplashes · 11 months
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fight
(playing fast and loose with the grammar here but we ball)
"She doesn’t realise when she gets up or runs to the light switch. Or even when she had the idea. What she does know is that one minute she’s standing in her closet, fighting to hold onto the present, and the next her hands are grasping at the opposite wall. The switch gives way beneath her fingers, and her knees are hitting the floor."
(chapter five of time won't fly)
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h0rny-bee · 1 year
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first vibrator died tonight but lucky for me i have a second smaller vibrator up my sleeve
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