#Seriously loved this. Tears were had. UGH so many FEELS!!!!

[mrmorganswoman]

Hey, I've always thought about a girl who made Arthur that way... cold but soft at the same time, serious but funny.

Maybe she was in the gang when Dutch and Hosea found Arthur. She tried to help him. She saw both him and John as her little brothers.

Maybe she was the old Arthur of the gang, hunting and dealing with folks, making money for the gang. Maybe that's why Arthur is like that.

She died miserably, that's for sure. That's why Arthur chose to copy her persona…can you write something like that?

omg that is just a heartbreaking amazing idea omg!! the exact type of thing i like to write lol. also congrats to you on being my first request!! Xx

Dear Sister

How many years had it been?

‘Too fuckin’ many…’ Arthur thought with an angry sigh. He had the date written down in his journal, along with a sketch of her. And pages upon pages written about her, of every memory of her he could recall. He could go and look, if he had a mind too. But he never could bring himself too. It was too painful. He looked at the small whiskey bottle in his hand, and downed the last couple of gulps. It burned, but that was good. Better than whatever it was he was feeling before.

“Arthur, honey come 'ere. Sit down with me…”

The teen grumbled, before sitting down next to his older sister. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder, and it was like the anger within him melted away. He leaned his head on his sisters shoulder and sighed.

"What's wrong with you, kiddo? Talk t'me."

Arthur sighed into his sisters shoulder, and felt stupid tears prickling in his stupid eyes.

"I feel like a fuckin' fool. I wasn't shootin' right- And then I got mad at Hosea by mistake and now here I am- Dammit why can't I just be like you!"

She started stroking Arthur's honey blonde hair, giving his scalp a gentle massage.

"You listen to me Arthur." She began, her tone comforting and warm. "Even I have my bad days, where I can't seem to make my shot on the first try or when I make a dumb mistake on a simple job. It's fuckin' hard, aint it sweetheart?"

Arthur nodded, absorbing every word she said. Taking every breath to heart. He loved his sister so so much, he really did wanna be like her when he grew up. She was the best gunslinger he knew. She was Dutch's most trusted associate. She was orphaned, just like him, and taken in by Dutch. And now here she is, the finest outlaw Arthur knew! She did good for the gang, making them money, pulling off the most complicated heists with ease. She could hunt, moving through the forest like one of them lynx's, silent and deadly. And, according to Dutch, she was the best enforcer they could ever hope for. Never once failing to collect a debt, or scare people off their trails.

"Honey you listen to what I'm telling ya' now. I want you to never forget your worth. You are a skilled, gifted, good young man and ya' always will be. Don't you never let anyone tell you otherwise. And when times are tough, you are tougher. I want you to be strong for me Arthur, always. You promise?"

Arthur pulled away from his sister, looking at her in her pretty blue eyes. Though he would never tell her that.

"I promise. sis. I'll be strong for that stupid little John too." Arthur said, his tone is light but he meant every word with a deadly seriousness.

"Atta boy!"

Arthur looked at the bottle in hid hand, and with an enraged yell smashed it against the nearest tree. It shattered, a few sharp shards flinging back and cutting him in the face.

"Arthur! What the hell is the matter with you!?"

Ugh. Of course it had to be John.

"Get lost!" Arthur snapped, quickly standing up off the ground. Arthur stormed off, but stubborn John followed him anyways. "Marston god dammit leave me ALONE!"

“ARTHUR!” John yelled. Arthur snapped his head around, enough anger in his eyes that John was surprised he wasn’t dead. "Arthur you’ve gotta know by now that I know when she is on your mind! I know how you feel! She was as much as sister to me as she was to you! And-”

“WERE YOU THERE WHEN SHE DIED?!” Arthur roared, every speck of rage, grief, and sadness he was feeling fueled his words. “WERE YOU THE ONE WHO HAD TO LOOK INTO HER EYES AS THAT AXE WENT THROUGH HER HEAD!? DID YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF HER SKULL CRACKIN’?! DID YOU HEAR HER SCREAMING YOUR NAME FOR HELP WHEN THERE WASNT A DAMN THING IN THE WORLD YOU COULD DO?! DID YOU HAVE HER BLOOD COVERIN’ YOUR HANDS? YOUR CLOTHES? IN YOUR HAIR?”

“Arthur-”

“YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH MARTSON CAUSE I AIN’T FINISHED!” Arthur inhaled a deep and shaky breath before he continued. “You know what it sounds like, or how it fuckin’ feels to have to pull an axe outta someone’s skull? The way it sticks, how hard you gotta pull on it? The sound when it is finally unstuck?”

John sat there, motionless. The words Arthur spoke made him ill, but it was the truth. Their sister died a horrible death, one she didn’t deserve in the slightest.

“I couldn’t even bury her body. I had to run. They shot my horse dead, and when I came back she was gone.”

John opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it. When John didn’t speak, Arthur continued.

“So Brother.” Arthur spat, the venom in his tone enough to make flinch away from them. “Don’ tell me you know how I feel, cause I can assure you, ya’ haven’t got the slightest fuckin’ idea.”

With that, Arthur stormed off. He headed deeper into the woods, not giving a damn about the time of night or predators or anything. He needed to be far away from everyone and everything, to clear his head.

He knew he couldn’t save his sister. Then or now. She was gone, nothing left of her but the gamblers hat on his head. It had fallen off, before….

‘I’m gon’ kill that son of a bitch…..’ Arthur thought, knowing with a deadly certainty that this was the only thing he could do. He had attempted to find them before, but this time he wouldn’t fail.

He couldn’t save his sister, but he damn sure would give her the redemption she deserved.

a/n: thanks for such an amazing request anon! i might have to include this sister in the fic im working on rn! Xx

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 3x06 thoughts (and many feelings)

Well, as expected, this ep basically broke my heart into a million tiny pieces- but still, they really did give Arman the best send-off that they could given the circumstances, and I’m so, so grateful for it.

Breaking the recap up a bit differently this week because I have a lot to say about everyone lol

But of course, I have to start with my beloved boy Arman, and Armony. I always knew that this ep was going to break me, and man, they didn’t waste any time doing it… less than 4 mins in and the tears were already flowing from hearing him saying the Reloj line, because seriously, knowing that this was his one chance to pass on a message to the people in his life, and that he chose that??? God it was powerful seeing Nadia and the others incorrectly assuming the message simply meant that he was running out of time, vs seeing Thony's jaw clench on hearing it because she knew the truth, knew that it was meant for her alone. In some ways, it was a “I think my time is up and I'm the one leaving forever in the morning, and that's okay” kind of message, but it was also a “this is me telling you I love you, because I never got the chance before”, and a “no matter what they do to me, in my mind I'm there, dancing with you by the fire.” No wonder she reaches for a beer the moment she gets home, knowing that there’s the chance she will be able to hold him in her arms again in only a matter of hours, but not being able to do anything to make it happen except just sit and wait for news. Well, at least until the moment she sees the report and understands Dante’s involvement, and then there’s no holding back anymore, no more trusting others to save him. Her blind determination to go find him and bring him home is exactly like how she acted when Luca was dying or when Fi was deported; it’s the way she always responds when someone she loves desperately needs her, and I love that Arman is so clearly in that category. (Okay gotta break this up bc of Tumblr's character limit lol)

Anyway ugh the entire time she was at the apartments I could feel my heart in my throat, because god, she got so close. (Oh and the way she instantly recognised the jacket and then knew with a single sniff that it was his?? Help???). But anyway ugh when the kid pointed them to the apartment, and she saw him right there through the window, only for him to be stolen away again in the mere couple of minutes it took her to get back around to the apartment’s front door.... Ughhh these two have been star-crossed from the start, but it was so hard to watch the final acts of their tragedy unfolding. I'll never be over the fact that for days, he was kept in a haze of drugs and pain, and yet we (and Thony!) know from his message that he spent that time thinking of her, escaping his reality by living in the moments they’d shared. And her own drug-induced hallucination of him was equally heartbreaking… god, to see her be so honest and unreserved in the way she looked at him and held him and spoke to him ("I’m gonna take you home, I'm never gonna let you go again”)... like damn, in that moment we really got to see the unfiltered, uninhibited truth of her feelings for him, the truth she never got to tell him and that he never got to hear.

But still, I’d like to think that he knew it anyway, especially when he saw her there in that car– saw that she had come for him, that she was trying so hard to save him, even at risk to herself. (Naturally I wish that we could have had his real face for that heart-wrenching moment of goodbye, but it was close enough, and when it comes down to it, that moment was still truly Arman and Thony no matter what). And while I’m sure Arman would have wished that he could live, that he could have stayed and built a life with her, we also saw multiple indications in the past 2 seasons that Arman knew and accepted that an early death was likely for him, if not practically inevitable, just like it had been for Mateo and Carlos and Bosco. And so for him to get to go out on his own terms, and in the act of saving Thony? It was exactly the death that he would have wanted. (On first watch I was sobbing too hard to notice that he didn't just knock the gun away and cause chaos in the car, he actually also grabbed the wheel and deliberately drove them off the cliff, meaning he truly chose for himself how he met his death). Honestly, it was literally the exact kind of ending I'd been predicting for him ever since s1– both the culmination of his hero arc, and also the ultimate fulfillment of his vow to protect her.  I'm so, so thankful that he got to have that, got to go out fast and painlessly and like the hero he was, rather than dying in the hangar or alone in that grungy apartment, and I’m even more thankful that he got to see her one last time, got to have that final goodbye with her. He died knowing she loved him and never gave up on him, and knowing that his death would ensure she got to live on; and for him, that would have been everything. And as devastating as it was to see Thony on her knees on the cliff, staring up into the sky as everything faded into white and El Reloj began to play... it was also heartbreakingly beautiful- seeing them dancing together again truly felt like getting a glimpse into his heaven, like it was telling us 'This is where he is now. This is where he'll always be"- and though it'll still always hurt to have lost him, I can be at peace with that.

(Though ngl, this ep was full of 'if onlys' that are going to haunt both us and Thony forever... If only Chris hadn't blocked the toilet today of all days. If only Thony had called a different plumber. If only JD's friend hadn't gotten him the arrest report. If only Ramona hadn't put a tail on Thony that caused her and Fi to have to rely on Jeremy for a ride rather than going on their own. If only Thony had been able to trust that Jorge wasn't involved and had called him instead. If only Nadia hadn't sent her the address for the meet location. If only if only if only. The show has always centred around this theme (all the way back to 1x01 and ‘if only Thony hadn’t encouraged the underground fighter to make her own choices, then the fighter may have done what Theo ordered her to and deliberately lost the fight, and then Tarik wouldn’t have killed Theo and Thony wouldn't have witnessed it, and none of this would have happened’), and it's a vital aspect of both the storytelling (because if none of that had happened, then there's no story at all) and also of Thony's character development. But obviously in this instance we all know that the writers had no other choice, and that there was no way this ep could have gone differently anyway, not after the loss of Adan. We know that, but Thony doesn't, and so it's going to be devastating to see Thony blame herself for yet another death, especially the death of someone she loved so deeply.)

But alright let’s talk about who is actually responsible for Arman’s death, because while Thony inadvertently contributed to it, she absolutely wasn’t the one who directly led to them being in that situation! Let’s start with Dante: firstly, I knew it was very suss that he ‘accidentally’ killed that guy in the last ep! And then when I saw the BTS pics for 3x06 last week and saw that Thony and Fi were going to go to the same apartment buildings that Dante got arrested at, it was clear that he was definitely involved in Arman’s abduction somehow. So either it’s option 1, and that giant bastard knew just how deeply Ramona wanted Arman back in their lives and figured he could not only give her what she wanted, but could also use the opportunity to score a fuck-ton of money without Ramona ever knowing of his involvement; or it’s option 2, and he abducted Arman on Ramona’s orders so that she could a) get her hands on a bunch of Nadia's money, and b) receive Arman's gratitude for saving him, which would then lead to his return into the family. Personally I think that option 1/Dante working alone is much more likely, and I'd also prefer it to option 2, because if Ramona was involved it would completely ruin the enjoyment I’ve been getting out of her character and her sibling relationship with Jorge. So I'm really hoping that it was all just Dante’s plan, and that Ramona and Jorge believe Thony when she tells them about Dante’s role in Arman's kidnapping (and therefore his death) and then they fucking murder him for it. 

Speaking of murdering, that brings me to Jeremy Fucking Dolan. (Yes, I literally looked up his last name on IMDB purely bc I felt the need to put a curse word in it). It’s funny, but from the very first moment his character was announced and it was mentioned in his bio that he would befriend Thony while hiding a dark secret, I had an almost irrational level of hatred for him, even more than I had for Jorge’s character, which was definitely odd and inexplicable given that Jorge’s bio made him sound like he was purely meant to be an unwanted ‘Arman 2.0’/potential love interest, which I obviously did not want in the slightest. But if I’d been given the option to get rid of one of them before S3 even started, it would have been Jeremy with no hesitation. The moment he made his appearance, I called it that he was actually an undercover FBI agent who was using Thony to get to Arman, which was maddening enough because she just didn’t deserve to be manipulated in that way, or to be betrayed by someone whom she had been isolated and vulnerable enough to risk trusting. And then that undercover bastard not only uses her, but ends up being the very reason that the FBI shows up right at the worst moment– not only preventing the exchange, but also causing the chase that kills Arman??? I don't care if he was only doing his job and trying to catch criminals, goddammit, I still hate him so much, and it's going to destroy Thony (even more than she already has been destroyed after losing Arman) when she eventually puts it together and realises that her trusting Jeremy directly contributed to Arman’s death. Which is why I’m over here violently daydreaming of a moment sometime late in the season where Jorge and Ramona finally manage to capture Jeremy, and then they bring Thony in and let her pull the fucking trigger and end him. (I mean, is it at all likely that she would go that dark, even to avenge Arman? Well, no. But thinking about it certainly gives me great satisfaction so I’m sticking with it lol)

Anyway, moving onto something more positive– if you wanna find the MVP of this ep, you only have to look at Fi!!! I loved her for the kind and understanding way she addressed Thony's connection to Arman, and the way she almost got Thony to acknowledge her feelings for him. Though I guess in that moment she could see that Thony still wasn’t ready to talk about it, and so she tried to ease Thony's mental discomfort by shifting focus to jokes about Jeremy (gross). Still, throughout the ep she was just so completely ride or die for Thony, like she has always been, and honestly Thony needs that, needs her. And not just for her badass lock-picking skills haha (taught to her by Paolo maybe??). Basically, Thony is like the Frodo of this series, carrying a huge burden and going through unimaginable things, but Fi is like her Sam, and it’s only with Fi’s support that Thony is able to keep pushing forward through everything. Obviously the loss of Arman, the other vital person in her life (does that make him Gandalf??) is going to be absolutely crushing for her, and I think Fi is going to be even more incredible in the coming episodes as she supports Thony through her grief and devastation. Ngl, I already had a fic idea about Fi going and getting Arman's jacket back for Thony, and it makes me cry just thinking about it ugh

In addition to Fi and Thony, I did love the whole De La Rosa fam vibe early in the episode, with Chris and Jaz bickering, and Thony and Fi making a fuss of Luca, and then Chris gently telling them to ease off when Luca got overwhelmed– it felt so nice to have them all reunited again and just getting to be a ‘normal’ family getting ready for school in the morning, and for Fi and Thony to be dealing with problems like blocked toilets and wet clothes rather than threats of deportation or dangerous cartels or the FBI. Chris worrying over missing Camila’s call was super cute too; I’m glad we got to have another mention of her and I hope we get to see her again soon. As for Luca, I’m really happy he’s started school, mostly bc it frees up Thony’s schedule haha, but also because it’s an important step for both him and Thony in moving forward with their lives. Thony has lived in an endless loop of ~My Child Is Dying~ for 6 years, and finally (thanks to her and Fi and Arman, like she said in the ep) that cycle has finally been broken. Luca will always need careful monitoring of his health, of course, but Thony isn’t trapped by his illness anymore, and I’m excited to see what potential  paths that will open up for her. I will always wish that one of those paths could have been a relationship with Arman, and I'm sure she does too, but as long as she finds happiness and purpose, I'll be satisfied.

Okay, so Jorge showing up at the school was pretty great honestly; like he says, it kind of is their thing to just show up uninvited into each other's spaces, and plus I think he actually truly did want to help make the moment a little easier on her by being there and distracting her/reassuring her as a fellow parent. I also loved the sweatshirt mention lol, it was a good throwback and I enjoy that he’s comfortable enough with her to tease her. Just shows how much their relationship has changed in the week or so since he first tossed that sweatshirt at her in a different school parking lot!! And he definitely won points with me here by going out of his way to get the info for her about the legal/CPS stuff without being asked, and though he explained it away as basically just him buying her influence over Arman in regards to the Sin Cara business, again I think he just genuinely wanted to help. Like Arman, he doesn’t get the opportunity to do many things that are purely good and noble, and so the feeling of getting to help her and Luca clearly has somewhat of an intoxicating effect on both men haha. Even with the loss of Arman (and so the loss of his supposed reason for helping Thony with the CPS stuff) I don’t doubt that Jorge will still help her with it once he’s satisfied that she had nothing to do with Arman’s death. But ugh speaking of Arman, the way Jorge questioned her about her connection to Arman… he already knows that Thony’s husband only died a few months ago, and as far as he knows from Nadia's behaviour, her and Arman’s marriage was solid, so it’s understandable that the intensity of Thony’s loyalty to/concern about Arman is a bit confusing to him. And because he doesn’t understand it, he’s always going to view her with at least a trace of suspicion until he learns the truth. Which may even be as soon as next ep– it looks like Jorge and Ramona are going to be demanding answers from Thony about how Arman died/ whether she betrayed him to the Feds/ how she was even there in the first place etc etc, and honestly I'm desperately hoping we'll get some kind of "I would never betray Arman! I LOVED him!" outburst from her that makes both Jorge and Ramona stop in their tracks because of how clearly heartfelt and honest it is. And ngl, while we’ve seen Thony indirectly state or demonstrate her love for Arman multiple times now, it would really mean a lot to me to hear her just say it openly without holding back. Not to mention that I think it would also really help pave the way for her to be accepted into the Sin Cara/Sanchez family, which would make for interesting viewing for the rest of the season.  

Speaking of the Sanchez family, I enjoyed the flashback and getting the backstory about the caddy, and seeing more of the Eduardo/Ramona/Jorge dynamic. (I’m trying so hard not to be nitpicky about the fact that young Arman's hair was straight and young Jorge's was curly, when it should have been the opposite, lol). But I’ve been thinking a lot about what Eduardo says to young Arman in that moment about how the only way to be a good man is to work hard and make an honest living, and I think that before we meet him in S1 Arman had really internalised that, and didn’t see himself as being a good man even though he wanted to be, which is why it hurt him so much to have Thony reinforce that belief during their argument at the wedding in 1x03. But then through helping her and forming a connection with her, he sees that even though she’s witnessed him at his worst, she genuinely does believe he is a good man, and it allows him to start believing it of himself for the first time. The flashback also definitely gave us more of a sense of Arman’s relationship with Ramona and Jorge, and really added another layer to him not selling off his caddy despite the direness of his debt to RK. What Nadia said to Ramona about the caddy being Arman’s dream car seemed to prove to Ramona that Arman still loved her and Jorge, and never truly turned his back on them… and so hopefully her sense of family and honour will mean that she will now consider Nadia and Thony– Arman’s family– to be her family as well. I also really enjoyed the scene of Jorge and Ramona sitting together in the caddy, discussing their business choices/differences in their life plans, and also talking about Arman and his good heart… they’ve definitely both grown on me, partly because they’re well written, but mostly because they've helped Thony and they genuinely care about my boy Arman. I’m sad we'll never get to see an Arman and Jorge brotherly reunion, because that could have been truly great. But tbh what I’m really wondering is what will happen to my beloved caddy now that Arman's gone... will Nadia want to get rid of it because seeing it is too painful?? Will Jorge offer to take it? Will I get my dream of Thony being the one to keep it lol? Doubtful, but one can always hope.... (and I guess there’s always that fic I’ve been planning to write about it for like 3 weeks lol)

Sigh, poor Nadia gave me a lot of feels in this ep. She is working so hard to get Arman back, and handling herself amazingly well under incredibly stressful circumstances. She dealt calmly with the kidnappers (which Ramona was clearly very impressed by... a potential protege there, perhaps?). Nadia also politely yet firmly declined Ramona’s plan for Arman to be basically kept in their home, despite knowing how powerful Ramona is and how risky it would be to piss her off.  She also insisted on being at the exchange to get him back despite the risk to herself (and possibly partly because she still doesn’t trust Ramona’s intentions). She trusted Thony with the meet location, despite their complex history, despite knowing that it meant that she would have to share her reunion with her husband with the other woman he loves. Even if she only gave Thony the address because it meant getting to have a highly-trained doctor there who could be trusted completely with Arman’s life, it still means she put Arman’s wellbeing above her own wants. Honestly I respect the hell out of Nadia, and literally the only consolation I have about losing Arman is that at least I'll never have to watch her go through the heartbreak of Arman still choosing Thony over her despite all their history and everything she’d done for him. Of course, we still have to watch her going through an absolutely horrific heartbreak of a different kind, but at least instead of being alone in it, she has Thony to share that pain with. (Or at least, she will, when she gets past her initial anger and blame towards Thony). It's almost a certainty that Thony and Nadia's connection will continue and even strengthen throughout the rest of the season, and I strongly believe that Thony is going to do everything she can to support and protect Nadia now, not only because she genuinely does care about her, but also because it’s the only thing she can do now to honour Arman and give thanks for all he did for her.

Okay, last couple of things: I loved that even despite her desperate search for Arman and the ticking clock that was hanging over their heads, Thony still stopped and helped the kid’s grandfather. It was very true to who she is, and how she can’t not help the people in front of her that need her. And tbh in terms of TV medicine, this instance actually wasn’t too bad haha, even if her Epley manoeuvre was a bit off. The fact that the man turning to look at the clock helped her diagnose the vertigo was also a cool reference to the ep’s title/theme as well. But anyway the reference that I can’t quite figure out yet is the word Thony saw written in the dust on that mirrored platter thing; I’m assuming Arman wrote it as a clue in case someone found the apartment? It seems to say something like ‘Marin’ which means nothing to me rn, but they very intentionally included a shot of Thony seeing it, so I guess its meaning will become clear in the next ep or two? 

Anyway, this has been many many words and feelings, so I’m just gonna end it with this, the prayer that Thony spoke as Arman walked out of prison in 2x02, because it feels even more tragically fitting now:

Now he is freed Through your blood on the cross Through the blows to your face And through the crown of your thorns that pierced your head Deliver him from all evil From the rigor of injustice From the torment of conscience And from all darkness Welcome him into Paradise Where there will be no more sorrow No more weeping or pain Give him the blessings of the life to come As he enters into the kingdom of peace and light.

[run2seob]

5 things you like about 5 of your moots?

turned from subtly fangirling to "i'm (not)subtly in love with u and your blog" but thank u for the ask bcs i have an excuse to >:)

@gyuletters

her ability to write a variety of genres without using cliches

her kindness ^^ she's always complimenting accounts and writng the best reblogs

her theme (it's soo pretty) and how well it represents her. star's personality is so sweet and i feel like her theme reflects that

she comes up with the best prompts too! like i'm envious of her brain

how comforting her fics are (and binge worthy~)

@junoswrlld

even before me and juno became close, they were so so kind to me T0T

her ability to pace herself and balance her fics and personal life (i genuinely could not do this like.. admirable, seriously)

her crack ficshehsh they're so good >< she makes chapters leave you with suspense every time

how many memes she finds. it's one of my fav things because how do i wake up to 40 cat and scrimbo memes 😭

how reliable she is!! i can trust her with my fics and spoilers and it's so nice :> she gives motivation and gained my trust so easily :')

@mazeinthemoon

i can't believe i only have to do five?? i need more space to write about how moon writes. the way emotion is captured into her writing is filled with suspense but also comfort? like, in between dialogue, there's those quotes that you replay in your mind over and over again because how could someone think of that?

^^ adding onto this, the way she incorporates figurative language into her text perfectly captures the moment. it's not blatant and keeps the sentence flow which is impressive. as a writer i respect moon even more because even i struggle with that T0T

i've said this for everyone but can you blame me? they're all kind, moon included! she's always answering asks in the kindest way

^^ additionally, the way she types is so cute. and by this i mean kaomojis and emoticons. i love emoji faces so much hehe

best for last ofc~ her fics in general! glitter and the goalie both had me hooked. like essay long notes and annotations. i might reread glitter because of how on the edge it had me and bcs of her recent post.. detective reader activated >:)

@hueningsloverr

RHIA'S ANGST. that's shakespeare's child now, seriously. the way she writes angst is beautiful.. but like beautiful in a way where it feels like a pretty statue of a little girl crying but it's beautiful. beautiful in the way where it hurts but is pretty... makes you cry tears bcs of how well it was written yk?

the way she views things is soo beautiful. like in her reblogs and how she views songs. (could write an essay) when she wrote txt x time in a bottle it fit with the boys perfect and was just so pretty. there's so many quotes i remmeber and trust i'm not forgetting

i'm gonna make these shorter but how many ideas she comes up with. i could never T0T

her themeee

i wished i talk to her more!! i'm always scared to talk to my moots but i love her pseonality i would be so happy to talk to her more but i'm too scared

@huenation

themethemetheme it's so cute

idk if this counts but i was reading their bf beomgyu texts and was listening to hea and read the "oh my god" as the same time as the song said it and can't forget about that 😭

ugh my top 5 comfort fic being soobin meeting yns parents like.. i love this fic so much and ik this isn't recs but they write so well 😭 the moment is always described in the best ways and i can visualize them so well

i don't talk to amor much but i love their posts/txt reblogs ><

and that i wish them happiness. i know a lot of people's posts and writings reflect their emotions, and i just hope they're doing well. everyone has bad times, but it really depends what mindset you approach them with, you know? i just hope they get to smile :)

[badaseyebags]

to all the boys that tried to love me ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Ch2

word count: 1,4k

warnings: new unlocked character

authors note: hello, as i promised here’s another one! i hope those who are reading (if there’s anyone) enjoy this chapter, feel free to share your thoughts! - 🍞

okay, what the actual hell was that? first party? more like first disappointment, because how on earth do people spend their weekends like this? maybe i’m still too childish to understand the hype, or maybe i simply don’t belong in there because my intentions don’t align with the majority of the people attending them. how the hell did the party end up with the tsurugi dude lying on the floor outside and bawling his eyes out? i thought he was the sunshine itself or something.. i guess even the sun goes down.

when he came inside and sat down on a chair nearby sobbing into his hands, i couldn’t help but ask him if he’s okay. all he did was nod with tears still in his eyes and boogers coming out his nose. okay, i’ll take that as a no. how the hell does someone so popular not have friends rushing to his side seeing him in this state? or are they not really his friends? ugh, club people are so damn strange.

it’s been about a month since that event and for some reason, my friends and i wanted to give it a second try. why? not sure honestly, that remains a mystery. apart from ryujin wanting to get the chance to hook up with that one jimin wannabe. she found his instagram account recently but was too much of a coward to text him, or even view his stories.

so who had to do all the dirty work? me of course! i had to do all the stalking and story viewing to update her on this “handsome man”. jesus christ he’s so cringy. all his posts are making me have a bad shiver and the ick in me is making me sick. he doesn’t have the guts to show his face but he shows his abs? the irony. ugh.. how can she think this is attractive, she has no idea what his face looks like. whatever, if she doesn’t want to be caught stalking i’ll take one for the team. my poor little eyes.

so it became a routine, i went on his profile to check out if he has posted any stories and sent them to her. not sure why she didn’t want to be noticed by him in the first place, but i didn’t question it too much. it became natural at this point, without her even having to tell me, i would check his account and update her. i noticed the app linked to his instagram account, tellonym..? i have that app, it allows people to send anonymous messages. my bestie can send him hints about herself, and let him know how she feels, I’m a genius! i told her about the plan and she was excited, however once again she didn’t want to be the one being involved. she’s a flirt master and i suck at flirting, so i have no idea why she left it up to me. is she seriously making me send a man that makes me audibly go “ew” anonymous pick up lines… what has this come to. i just do what she tells me, cringing at every letter i type out, dropping hints about her and trying to spark his curiosity. was i doing a good job? probably not, but i tried my best and it seemed to get his attention, so i did my part.

speaking of guys.. i remembered how many friends tsurugi seems to have. maybe there’s a possibility he will know about the guy i’m curious about? the quiet guy that looked more like he belongs into a cozy cafe rather than a noisy, stinky club. hmmm… it wouldn’t hurt to ask, right? the worst that could happen is him saying he doesn’t know this dude at all.. but that’s a lie, they definitely interacted that night, i’m sure of it! so i do what any sane person would do, and i shoot him a message. maybe making new friends would make parties more enjoyable, and he could introduce me to that dude! win win situation right here.

miffybaby: hi, you were at that party right?😊

tsurug_i: hey i was😄 have we spoken before? i don’t remember what happened that night at all😅

miffybaby: are you feeling better? you didn’t look too good.. 😳 we didn’t really speak i just asked you if you were okay

tsurug_i: i just went a little crazy with the alcohol but thanks 😅 are you coming to the next one? it’s in a few days i think you should come

miffybaby: yeah i’ve noticed 😂 i might, my friends want to go and we are headed to that city so.. might as well

tsurug_i: oh😂 hope to see you there! but you have to remind me, i might not recognise you

miffybaby: if i don’t change my hair colour by then, you will notice my pink head

tsurug_i: damn i really don’t remember seeing a pink haired girl.. i had to be wasted af. i just saw your photos.. don’t change your hair, it’s pretty. i’ll recognise you for sure

woohooo i can’t believe i just made a friend! well, kind of. i’m so excited for the next party. i feel like it won’t be like the previous one, i can feel it!!!

the day of the party came but this time the party was in a brand new club, much much bigger one. way more space, even the outside area is pretty. there was even a boxing machine like in arcades, we gotta try that later! this is all so exciting and omg… i think i just saw that dude i’m curious about, i freak out a little and nudge my friends and they hype me up, today i will learn his name! his outfit is cute.. i just gotta ask tsurugi to introduce me to him. speaking of tsurugi, there he is i can hear and see him from miles away, hmm.. do i come up to him? should i just wait? he probably won’t recognise me tho. i turn to my friends to ask them what to do but before i can finish he’s already tapping on my shoulder.

“Hi! is it you?” he smiles so big, showing all his teeth and his braces reflect the lights in the dark room. funny contracts to all the tattoos covering his arms and his big frame. i just smile at him and shoot him a friendly hi, i thought that would be all but he just went all in and squeezed me into a tight hug. i guess he’s just like that.. i awkwardly pat him before pulling away and he introduces himself to my friends. “you look just like your photos i didn’t expect this” huh.. what is he on about.. how else am i supposed to look. i just laugh awkwardly as we walk to the bar getting some drinks, only cider for me. they’ve told him i’m not good with drinks so that was all i could of gotten, great now i got 3 people telling me not to drink and babysitting me. i take little sips and start feeling a bit tipsy, so i tell myself it’s the perfect time to ask. “hey i wanted to.. i wanted to know your friends name.” my eyes subtly glance over at him.. he’s sitting with a few people, barely interacting just observing and sipping on some drink. how mysterious, i really wanna know who he is. he looks over at him, pauses for a second. “oh him? he’s.. how can i say this” he stutters, scratching the back of his head.

“yes him! i wanted to know his name” i nervously look up at him hoping he will get the hint.

he leans down to my level as if to whisper but he’s almost screaming to overpower the volume of the music. “it’s a girl, her name is … s.. her name is hwa.”

i can feel my eyes widen and my heart start beating quicker. why do i feel so much relief and why am i suddenly so excited? i have to get to know her. there’s no way i can’t. i’m so damn gay and lucky.

it’s odd how tsurugi ditched his comically large friend group to spend time with us.. all his time.. i didn’t think he would do that, it’s really nice of him but.. why is he not introducing me to hwa yet..

“so, can you introduce me to her?” i poke him hoping he will do it, but instead he grabs my hand, holding it tightly in his suddenly as he pulls me a bit closer. “don’t worry about her, let’s go for a walk.”

[canonically47]

I'm curious as to your absolute favorite part of each Total Drama season and each Disventure Camp season.

aw thanks for this ask!! i find it really sweet :3 let's see if my memory can hold up to the task!

total drama

season 1: it may be just because i haven't watched this season in a while, and because it's definitely not my favorite if i had to pick, but i think what stuck with me the most were the duncney first kiss scene (which was sooo adorable i miss them sm <//3), gwen accepting to go on a date with trent (i miss them.. sob....), harold's little >:3 after courtney got eliminated, and gwen and geoff's entire arc in geoff's elimination episode. if i had to choose between all of those, i'd pick the latter. it was such a fun dynamic that unfortunately was soon forgotten.

season 2: a lot of justin scenes are iconic but in the end i have to go with a harold scene, which would be the one in which he punches duncan in the face. yeah that's my favorite part always. what a great guy i love him sm. i also really like the entire dynamic of duncan-harold-heather-leshawna as a group they were AMAZING and even without leshawna in that one episode they SLAYED i love that silly trio

season 3: so since you didn't ask for a specific scene but just for a part, i'll just have to say the entire aleheather arc was amazing. they are such a well-constructed ship and i adore them. i cannot picture them with anyone else but themselves. my favorite scene to come out of the entire season also comes from them: when they're dancing on the train, singing "you are the worst, why must you torment me?" oh god they have it so bad for each other

season 4: roti is so forgettable which is sad because it has so many great characters.. i'll have to go with something related to jo since she's my fav and made the season better, i really liked her bickering with brick and anne maria. she's truly a bisexual enemies-to-lovers icon. i love the scene in which she and brick meet up and start ranting about who ran the most

season 5: that season didn't exist wdym?? but in all honesty aleheather dating was awesome and i miss them sm.. when chris said 'are you two DATING??' something in me shifted he was so funny for that idek why

season 6: ugh i hate you so tdpi.. shawn and jasmine dodging the lasers was pretty dope tho

season 7: hard to say because ridonculous race has a lot of GREAT moments but i just loved the dynamic of the cadets in general. i love how macarthur softened up after breaking sanders' arm and how much she cared for her. i also think the step-brothers were awesome and one of my favorite total drama scenes ever is when they realize how much they have in common. i miss those two goobers! the goths were also iconic and i love every moment they are on the screen, but when they came back to the show dressed in even more hardcore goth i LOST IT /pos

season 8: the rajbow kiss. come on. did you think i'd say anything else? the rajbow kiss was ICONIC

season 9: the fact that it ended... that was the best part. but in all seriousness, i really liked ripaxel. i think this is a hot take at this point. even though they were very rushed, they were such a healthy, happy couple. i was scared for them when axel said that awkward goodbye to ripper but i was so relieved for them in the finale. ripaxel definitely made the season better for me

season 10: i love the scene where damien- oh what's that? season 10 is entirely in my head? oh i would've spoiled TD:TBBG? my bad chief

disventure camp

season 1: i will never forget when i actually teared up when miriam and jake opened up to each other... besides that when alec and fiore started plotting together i became a different, better person. i miss them :( please come back to me lovelies :( i also really loved the tomjake kiss but. yeah we all know what i feel about them now. i miss them so fucking much it's not even funny

season 2: kai standing up to yul was so funny to me because why did his hair go like that /pos i remember i had a doodle in one of my notebooks that was kai going haywire the way he did in that scene and i scribbled the following words by him, with an arrow pointing towards him: 'same guy who goes namaste n shit'. also jaiden... save me jaiden... they were definitely my favorite part of the season :3

season 3: i'll definitely update this after the entire season comes out (october btw. yes i calculated. i put it in my agenda and everything /srs) but the villains alliance is by far the most promising and amazing part of the season. i can't wait to see where it goes next!

[solar-halos]

ballad appreciation post

i’m so happy :D. i’ve watched ballad twice this week. the second time i watched it w my brothers i didn’t have anything to say about it bc i was mostly just on edge about not getting kicked out of the theatre but since i teased a breakup over this Boyfriend was on his best behavior so i actually got to watch the movie without anyone asking a million question a scene. in related news we have another lucy gray truther on our side. here are some of my thoughts

1. tom blyth opening screen …. i still got jumpscared seeing him in the nude

2. the way they pronounce lucy grays name still catches me off guard. i’ve been ignoring the “i” completely and just say “bard” in my head (yk bc she’s The Bard). with that being said i know the mayor was in like 2 scenes but i think he did a really good job picking out lucy grays name he looked crazy

3. hunter schafer is my eyebrow inspo. also i’ve mentioned this before w the bathing suits having a 1920s and 50s vibe but she’s giving 1940s to me. but obviously glamor 1940s not war ridden 1940s

4. watching this w someone who hasn’t read the book is so enjoyable. when lucy gray dropped the snake down mayfairs shirt Boyfriend got SO tense “waitwait did she just try to fuckin murder her??” god forbid women do anything

5. okay sorry but the first time i watched it i was trying not to smile (in a laugh-y way) when lucy grays singing part came on. when i read it i thought that part ate but actually seeing it was so different for some reason. i think this feeling might be amplified if you’ve never read the book bc my sister felt the exact same way she said it was kinda fuckin cringe. idk if it was just bc we were at home or she was just feeling silly but she started singing that one camp rock song that’s like “we can’t back down.” which ok yeah that was kinda lucy grays song in a nutshell but it kinda did piss me off bc the “you can kiss my ass!!!!” part was coming on soon and i was stressing over them missing it. also didnt lucy gray have a full on dance break in the book?? god. they should have kept that in

6. okay that scene where she bowed and d12’s nasty ass coal industry being in the background is still one of my fav scenes. ugh loved it

7. wovey idk what it was this time but when she was like “im rlly good at climbing” i almost burst into tears. guys she’s really good at climbing

8. hunter schafer literally killed this. i’d argue that tigris is just as much of a product of her environment as snow is but i don’t rlly know how to articulate that

9. speaking of the reading vs watching thing i mentioned earlier: it rlly jumped out with grandmaam. idk why but when i was reading it grandmaam was SO scary and intimidating to me but watching her so frail and skinny and slightly senile talk about how lucy gray is a killer just seemed so crazy. especially since we know snow believes her

10. “they’re gonna get bombed aren’t they” wtf i walk into every movie clueless how are ppl straight up predicting entire events. but again w the reading vs watching i was GAGGED when they got bombed in the book but in the movie it seemed weird?? like “get the camera on her” and then it just feels like they’re trying to take up space until the actual bombs land. but whatever im being so bitchy i wasn’t surprised bc i literally knew it was gonna happen

11. “i want coral making my latte” and i want tanner on the grill

12. i think it was tanner, but i rlly liked his outfit. i liked all their outfits actually. i’ve been watching so many reels abt the costume designer explaining her inspo for the costumes (like tigris and her 1940s glamor thing going on)

13. okay seriously why did they cut out the kiss… and then when they actually did kiss why did they have lucy gray pull away at first…… i know francis lawrence saying this was a love story was icky but he did a bad job at portraying that so maybe we were worried for nothing (jk we were worried for all the right reasons bc if i had a nickel for every time someone said “i thought they were gonna get married!” about lucy gray and snow i’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice). also not to be a hater but snowbaird fans actually fucking irritate me. like the fans that are like “but what if it was wholesome 🥺🥺” what if lucy gray tried to kill him and he tried to kill her back? what if he managed to track her down and she bit him again? what if they hate each other so much that they’re only together bc they wanna see the other person suffer? what then

14. tbh seeing billy taupe made me feel a bit guilty 😭😭. almost terminated my ao3 acc but i get that feeling every time someone mentions something im obsessed w in a very casual way so it wasn’t rlly that serious. also someone either on tiktok or insta was like “was i the only person who preferred snows curls to his buzz cut?” and i genuinely couldn’t tell if they were joking bc like. everyone prefers snows curls to his buzz cut. even snow prefers his curls to his buzzcut. with that being said billy taupe needed to lose the cap

15. ngl the ballad of lucy gray baird actually did make me cry a bit… lucy gray was only 16 she needed to be on tumblr

16. where’d she get that guitar from tho

17. i wish they would have kept in the tributes death parade. that part was icky

18. okay there was a scene where lucky had a drink and then he flicked something off it and pup (i think that was his name) flinched cos it landed on his neck that was so fucking funny i hate that this was the first time i noticed it

19. okay seriously why did they make dill get poisoned. also that cornocopia scene. hmph

20. the first time i watched it i remembered being really confused why lucky called mizzen Merciless Mizzen. but omg after he tried chasing lucy gray down in that vent i understood that was crazy of him. and it did seem like he was an actual teenager which actually made it more unsettling. i feel like rachel zegler has a baby face (i actually think she was 17 in west side story and she looks the exact same now) but mizzen’s actor sing singing her name was perfect

21. lamina at the beam… didn’t she manage to kill someone in the book??

22. “does this mean we get to go home??” god i wish

23. but also “please lucy i can’t have killed all of them for nothing” i liked that she didn’t call her lucy gray that was a nice touch. but also. what a crazy thing to ask. i wonder if she thought lucy gray would be chill w that

24. take this with a grain of salt i haven’t read the books in so long but when snow snuck up on lucy gray in the meadow didn’t she level her guitar at him and then be like “sorry lol i still have one foot in the arena :P” they should have had her hit him in the face w it

25. the old therebefore still hits. i wish they would have included scenes where snow is shown to genuinely dislike her songs like in the books. in the movies he seems more disinterested in what she’s doing which is still bad but also it doesn’t seem as overt as him literally hating on her for no fuckin reason. which i guess is bc we have no insight into his head, like i think someone pointed out that in the book and movie he cried over sejanus being dead but in the book we know it’s bc he was scared it was gonna be him next but in the movie it just looked like he was sad. which i get it he’s perceived as nice by other people but the audience is not supposed to be other ppl we know what his motives are. im not sure how that’d be solved, cos i guess it would be pretty annoying to have him voice his thoughts and you also don’t wanna spoon feed ur audience but like. idk. seems like something you’d wanna make super clear bc to me it didn’t seem like you were supposed to like / sympathize with him, but the way it was done kinda seemed half baked

26. speaking of that… Boyfriend did not get the memo that snow was fucking crazy. “i thought he was gonna marry lucy gray in d12” WHY? like why would you even think that. were u not paying attention during the hunger games trilogy marathon where would lucy gray fit into that. since my sister thought the exact same thing she tried being like “see? it’s confusing” but it actually isn’t. that’s still a better reaction than my brother he was actually being a fucking weirdo about it cos when snow found lucy grays scarf in the woods and then the snake bit him this mfer went “she tried to kill him” no!!! but i think there might be something to be said about how snow, completely sober, came to the same conclusion as my brother, who was so high he couldn’t even remember who sejanus was

27. okay that’s a lot of sibling lore so atp i think i better end the post. bye

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Every week I will post various reviews I've written so far in 2024. You can check out my Goodreads for more up-to-date reviews HERE.

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223. The Departure by K.A. Applegate--⭐️⭐️

The MC of this book being the only Black character in this series is both inspiring (especially because of when these books were first published), and a little sad because she's the most frustrating.

It is pretty well-known that Applegate's series is anti-war, which is great in itself, especially when considering that these are kids with some pretty great moral mentalities. But this MC is, in my opinion, the most self-aware character of the group. I think this because she is the one who is always reminding everyone that there are solutions that don't involve killing or hurting others. These are VERY important messages for readers--no matter the generation. My biggest complaint with this, however, is that sometimes all the moral questions and nay-saying can be over-the-top.

Which leads me to some of the questionable choices made in this book. Whenever a book is in this MC's POV, things can get either a bit frustrating, or just plain annoying. I'm sure many love her and the way she is, but I wish I could just fully explore why she does the things she does.

I just wish I could enjoy her POV more.

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224. All the Beauty in the World by Patrick Bringley--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm torn on ALL THE BEAUTY IN THE WORLD. On one hand, it had some seriously gorgeous moments (see, favourite quote from the book: Daughters who looked like their mothers' pasts, and fathers who look like their sons' futures." UGH this quote. I am in AWE.) But it also had moments where I seriously questioned why I continued reading.

I had this discussion with a coworker recently (the one who mentioned the book to me, actually) about how it wasn't at all what she was expecting. While I didn't have the same expectations as her, I DID have something else in mind. I didn't expect the essays to be a little heavier on the historical aspect of things and less about the stories of every day security work. All of the people watching could have and should have led to some more exciting or intriguing essays.

What I WILL say, however, is that Bringley explored the difficult journey of grief beautifully. I teared up a few times, especially when he was detailing his brother's last moments before his death. The emotion surrounding Bringley's grief was palpable. I could feel that pain jumping from the page.

While I wished I DNF'ed it various times, something about ALL THE BEAUTY IN THE WORLD kept me reading. Maybe it was that underlying sense of grief I could feel from the beginning, or the fact that some of the writing was admittedly beautiful. I just wish it was more engaging. Most of the essays dragged and I'd catch my attention slipping away.

If you like history thrown into your essays and a wonderfully heartbreaking exploration of growth and grief, then I think you'll like this one.

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225. Behind You by Catherine Hernandez--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Catherine Hernandez never misses.

I've read most of Hernandez's books (I think I still have just one left) and I'm not being facetious when I say that all have been mind-blowing reads. Every single one of her books has left me with heavy thoughts and a new perspective on society and the way I interact with it.

BEHIND YOU explores what it means to be not just a girl in society, but a foreign girl in society. The sexualizing of young non-white girls by adult men (who feel like they're owed something from said girls), and the bullying those same girls get from classmates who don't look like them. Adding in that this mostly takes place in Scarborough was an extra touch because of the diversity there.

There are some seriously creepy moments in this book that help exemplify what it means to exist in a young girl's body; what it looks like to not be believed when you mention a situation to someone you hope would be on your side. All with the extra terrifying mystery of a serial rapist/murderer, who I immediately connected to the Barbie & Ken murders.

Taking place both in the late 80s-early 90s, and in present-day Ontario, Hernandez's novel was also an ode to young girls who are just trying to find themselves in a world that is determined to keep them down. From a very verbally and at-times physically abusive household (that I presume heavily discriminated against the MC because of colourism), to a present where the adult MC is spiralling into a dark hell of trauma, triggered by a re-exploration of the case that haunted her childhood, Hernandez gives us an incredibly fleshed out story that refuses to miss out any details.

The parallels between the MC's past experiences, and the present struggle she encounters with her own son, wife, and still abusive family, and the past that still haunts her were incredible--especially when we see certain interactions between the MC and her wife regarding their son's behaviour.

Hernandez doesn't hold back any punches and I think anyone who can handle those punches should pick this book up. It's important, poignant, jarring, and just an absolutely incredible piece of Canadian literature.

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226. Clueless Puckboy by Saxon James & Eden Finley--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Probably my least favourite one of the series, tbh. But still cute!

I think the main reason why I wasn't as big a fan of this one was because of the miscommunication trope, which I never thought I'd see in this series.

But other than that, this was still as fun as the other books--especially watching the one MC win over the other. The whole "forbidden" aspect of their romance was one of the things that made this one so much fun.

I did feel bad for the hockey MC because of how insecure he was about his career, even though he is a professional hockey player. His character growth was nice to watch because he was probably one of the tamer players of the whole series. He wasn't cocky or someone who flaunted his good looks, he was just a nervous ball of insecurity. Also, I'm so glad he got his story--I'd been waiting for it since we were introduced to him in book one.

I won't lie, of all the books in the series, this one took me the longest to remember what it was about. My non-five star rating for this one makes a lot of sense now.

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227. The Dixon Rule by Elle Kennedy--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I was not expecting to cry as much as I did. Thanks Elle Kennedy.

I was excited to pick up THE DIXON RULE because I LOVED the previous one in this sequel series. I love how spicy these books get, but I especially love the emotional connection between the characters. And while this book definitely had that enemies to friends to lovers aspect that I love and that spicy tension between the two MCs, I found this one a LITTLE hard to fall for.

Book one had this great enemies aspect that had me rooting for both characters, but it took me a while to fall for the FMC. She was such a bitch to the MMC from the get-go. Like, I get that he was a hoe, but she just immediately thought the worst of him? To the point where it verged on bullying, especially with some of the antics regarding the other people who lived in their condominium. The important thing is that they finally communicated and a lot more made sense for the two of them.

THE DIXON RULE also explored some more darker aspects tentatively introduced in book one. Super trigger warning for stalking and physical abuse. Those scenes were hard to read, I can't even imagine someone who could be triggered by it. I don't think I've read a Kennedy book that had the very dark side of romance (and not in that "sexy dark romance" way.)

Also, bring tissues, because damn. This book.

By the end, I was a fan of these two characters together--especially because of how they took care of each other, how they showed each other love, and just how much understanding there was between the two of them.

I'm wary of the third book, but it has already been ordered LOL.

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228. Bromantic Puck Boy by Saxon James & Eden Finley--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Pleaseeeee. This was so much fun and so cute. Watching these two idiots figure themselves out was adorable af.

When I saw who this book was going to be about, I giggled so hard--especially because of how the one MC talked about the second MC in the last book. I knew it was coming, but I was still thoroughly entertained.

I know a lot of people didn't like how this one wasn't as outright romantic as the other books in the series, but I actually really liked this one because it was so different. I also liked how these two became inseparable best friends first before they fell into this messy friends-with-benefits situation.

In fact, while yes the spice was spicy, it was their relationship that really drew me in. The way the one character hated others using the same nickname his love interest called him, or how they did the most extreme or silliest things for each other. I loved it all. I literally read a story about two best friends falling in love when they didn't even realize they were doing exactly that.

I also really appreciated the topic of parents who may or may not be accepting, because it showed us (the readers) how that anxiety can grow so much to the point where you either ignore who you are or you pretend you're not the way you are, which can be extremely painful. It was a very vulnerable moment.

And BROMANTIC PUCKBOY also reminded me that I need to read FRAT WARS by Saxon James since a bunch of characters are mentioned in this one!

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229. The Jock by Tal Bauer--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Tal Bauer is an incredible author. He somehow always captures the deep romance of a story and then manages to rip your heart out of your chest.

I'll admit that I was a bit skeptical of THE JOCK at first because of that prologue. I think this book didn't need it and if anything, it made me almost not want to pick it up. But I'm grateful that I pushed through it because this love story was incredible.

The heartbreak in this is palpable and the way the characters live through made me want to sob. The selflessness of the one MC was incredible, but the understanding of the other was inspiring. Another thing that I love about Bauer's writing is how he can create these characters who jump of the pages to profess their love for one another. He's just so...romantic? It's incredible.

I appreciated, too, how the football MC was being realistic about his future and what he wanted. He was always questioning everything and trying to find a way to attain that future he wanted so badly. Although, I think that coach needs to kick a few rocks for putting that pressure on him.

The other MC has his own complex circumstances with family and his heartbreak, but the way he was there for the man he loves? Incredible. He was also great because he knew what he wanted for his future and he also fought for it. I liked that these two characters didn't fall completely into each other to the point where they lost sight of who they were (this is why I keep mentioning this aspect of the story).

There were some pretty heavy things that happen in this book, some triggering, and some anger-inducing. But THE JOCK is definitely a must-read for anyone who is just a huge romantic and a fan of sports romances!

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230. Verona Comics by Jennifer Dugan--⭐️⭐️.5

I don't know what I was expecting from VERONA COMICS, but it wasn't this. I think this is my first Jennifer Dugan book and I've always been curious about her stuff, especially because she always has such great covers.

I originally wanted to read this book because of the Bi rep, so that part was cool. I understood the MC's internal questioning regarding her identity and how she's dated only guys, even though she has had crushes on other girls. What I didn't understand was the Bi-phobia coming from her Lesbian best friend and how it wasn't really explored or commented on? In fact, her best friend being not the greatest friend in general was never really addressed.

While VERONA COMICS had the important topic of co-dependent relationships and the dangers of said relationships, I also think that it is a dangerous topic to not handle with care. Especially when young readers pick these books up. The way the relationship is treated at the end of the book is slightly troubling for me. It's good to get the mental health care needed, but that whole "let's give this a happy ending" aspect of it weirded me out.

There are also a plethora of other topics that were thrown at the reader that at times felt overwhelming and heartbreaking: emotional and verbal parental abuse, suicidal ideation, depression, and anxiety. This book was DARK and you know, this is fine. There are some seriously dark YA novels out there. My issue with this, though, is that this novel does not give any hint that this is one of those books that take you on a very serious mental health ride down a dark pit.

I kept reading because I couldn't look away, but the book now sits on my unhaul book stack. I can understand what the book was trying to say, but it was A LOT.

I didn't give this lower because even though the darkness of the story was overwhelming, there were moments of brightness and some cute moments between the characters. Also, half a star for the one friend who didn't try to manage the FMC's life. I get that the one friend was protective because of the FMC's shitty treatment of her friends when in a relationship, but her attitude was so bad that I will admit I thought she had a thing for the FMC.

I just wish this was just the cute book the cover hinted at, but knowing that this is a Romeo & Juliet adaptation should have hinted at how dark this was gonna get.

___

231. This Summer Will Be Different by Carley Fortune--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ah, I finally understand the hype for Carley Fortune.

When I read the first book by this author, I was underwhelmed. Not only did it have a really shitty twist, it felt like three different books that were already written made into one. Needless to say, I wasn't super impressed.

But THIS SUMMER WILL BE DIFFERENT? Yes, please. This was such a great and emotionally fuelled read. I could feel the tension between the MC and the love interest; I could feel the history between them. I wanted them together, but I knew they both had some serious hurdles to get over.

I actually enjoyed the back and forth of the past and present because it helped me further understand these two characters and why they are the way they are, especially when they're interacting with one another.

I think I was expecting something cheesy, or a really horrible twist, but what I got was actually a fantastic summer read that makes me really want to visit PEI.

After reading this book, I was curious about others' thoughts. I read one of my friend's reviews and she mentioned the weirdness of friendships and how extreme they can be and I have to say that I agree. Half of the tension in this book wouldn't be so...tense if the best friend didn't set such a rule from the first summer that the MC meets her love interest. It was a great point and now I'm sure I'll be thinking about it with every romance book I read. The friendship in this book is sudden and intense, but I won't fault it because it gave us this love story.

Loved the ending, loved the obsession with flowers, loved the missed opportunities and surprisingly spicy bits--I just loved how this felt like such a call to summer (which I know sounds weird, but it's how it felt).

Also, I'm a fan of the MC's character growth and her figuring out that in an attempt to find herself, she should probably stop being a workaholic and worrying what her parents think of her career choices.

Anyway, I highly recommend this book. It was fun, sexy, and incredibly addicting.

___

Have you read any of these books? What were your thoughts?

___

Happy reading!

[soft-bellied-tannies]

SBT Little Bite #25

Jimin looked around the table and found a moment when no one was watching to unbutton his jeans. They just kept ordering trays of meat and adding food to his plate no matter how many times he gave them hesitant looks, leaving him absolutely stuffed. He was surprised the button hadn’t given up already with how full he felt.

It was already hard to say no to his pack member’s cute faces when they encouraged him to do anything, but it was particularly difficult when he was being encouraged to eat during his pre-heat. His hormones made him submissive and anxious which made saying no incredibly difficult for him. 

On top of their persistent effort to feed him, Jimin had already been bloated before they arrived with his heat just days away. This had become a bit of a new standard practice with his pack for him over the past few cycles. 

Whenever his heat grew closer, Jimin felt like he was constantly being fed. He hadn’t stepped on a scale in a while, but he knew it was going to be the highest it's ever been. 

When Jin added another piece to his plate, Jimin felt his nausea spike again. He leaned into Namjoon who was sitting beside him and tucked his face into the alpha’s shoulder. “Seriously, enough, please.”

Tension filled the table as they all stopped chatting and eating to turn their focus to Jimin who sounded distressed. Namjoon wrapped his arm around the omega and scented him gently. “Are you okay, baby?” 

Jimin was quiet for a moment. If he were being entirely honest, he really would much rather be at home in his nest than out in a loud, bright restaurant, but he also didn’t want to ruin their night out considering they would be stuck at home for probably the next week. 

Knowing he could always trust them with his feelings, he finally just started rambling. 

“I just feel nauseous and uncomfortable and you all just keep feeding me and I’m so full that I could be sick, but you know that I can’t say no to any of you when I’m like this because I get emotional so I just keep eating. Ugh, I just want to be home and take these stupid jeans off because they barely fit at this point.” 

Jimin pulled away from Namjoon and put his face in his hands, trying really hard to keep his tears at bay because they were in public but also because he wasn’t really upset, just hormonal. 

The others immediately started packing up the table to get ready to head home. Jin and Namjoon who were on either side of Jimin comforted him, getting him to come out from his little hiding spot. 

Knowing that Jimin typically would never act like this outside of his heat cycle, the others were very receptive to his emotional outburst. They also found his little comment about the food endearing because the entire pack had been loving how well their omega was filling out. 

“Come on, Minnie, let’s go home. Thank you for telling us,” Jin said quietly when the omega obviously started to feel bad for ending their dinner. 

Jimin sat up and let out a wet laugh, mood shifting immediately after hearing they get to go home. “I hate pre-heat.” 

The pack laughed and Namjoon kissed his forehead in response. They also watched with a mix of endearing and interested expressions as Jimin attempted to rebutton his pants - wondering when he unbuttoned them.

The omega sighed as they failed to reach comfortably, not wanting the pressure back on his midsection. 

Jimin grabbed Jungkook’s arm, pulling the hair tie off the alpha’s wrist and mumbling under his breath about them being responsible for his added weight. He looped the band around his button to do a makeshift closure that gave him a little more breathing room. 

As Jimin stood up, his sweater hugged his now even farther bloated belly and he looked at his middle with a frown. He put his hand on top of his full stomach and said something that encouraged everyone to get home a little bit sooner so they could appreciate his body. 

“God, no one’s going to believe I’m in pre-heat if I already look pregnant.”

[moonstrider9904]

I just finished watching Tales of the Jedi and I have a lot of words so SPOILER ALERT if you haven't watched it.

I don't want to put this under a read more because I feel like that'll just make people ignore the post so please, if you haven't filtered spoilers and don't want to be spoiled, close your eyes and scroll past this fast :D

I'll be as coherent as I can 😅

First off I am blown. Blown away by this. I'm in awe at how much Star Wars can make me feel and how this is the only franchise that will do this to me.

Episode one, I cried. Baby 'Soka, I shall protect you from everything even though you shall be the one protecting me even with thou chubby baby legs. But when the end credits rolled and Ahsoka's theme played, I teared up. I hadn't cried with Star Wars ever since Crosshair was left on Kamino!! For a moment, I was nine years old watching The Clone Wars in the movie theater with my brother all over again 🥺

Now... Dooku. I hate him. I love him. I love to hate him. I hate to love him. I love Yaddle more (seriously, Yaddle my beloved, I'm not over that). And the way I howled when I realized some of the events were set in TPM?! I mean, animated TPM Qui Gon?! MY CHILDHOOD-

The sadness that Dooku felt at losing Qui Gon, and the scene at the tree felt so surreal. I would have loved to see Dooku's fall to the Dark Side in much more detail but this is in no way a complaint; I love the execution and the short story format, and I felt the setting was exposed pretty clearly and just- AGH.

Also, that scene where Dooku tells the guy from Raxus he can kind of understand his point of view, and while he talks, his face is lit red and the background behind him is dark - *faints* I love it when a scene can visually reflect a character's inner turmoils. 10/10

I still love Yaddle more.

and Mace Windu was fuckin' amazing in this, as he always is. We stan Mace Windu in this house - holy crap.

Now. Now. NOW.

Tales of the Jedi is truly special because, while many will like to dismiss nostalgia factor as pure frivolity, it's the reason I and possibly others feel so intensely right now.

We saw Ahsoka again, as well as Obi-Wan, Anakin, Rex, Jesse. Characters I watched as a kid, who have shaped me in one way or another; we see them grwo with the course of the mini series, and we can tell the context and feel either joy or pain, mostly pain by the end. I had no clue that the training montages with Rex and the boys would lead so smoothly (and so painfully) back to Order 66.

There's a sequence I will now watch with even more pain!! Thank you, Felony.

Also DEPA BILLABA AND CALEB DUME. Guys. The incoherent noises I made at seeing them. I yelled and cried and fangirled and asdkjhañksjdghañsdbgj it was gorgeous to see them. Their cameo didn't even have words, they were just there and it made sense and it felt nice and I love it. Same with Plo and Yoda.

And I respect Ahsoka way more now knowing she worked hard days under the sun. Respect to my queen. UGH and the pain of knowing she was at Padmé's procession because they were friends, having Bail tell her there was nothing she could have done for them (isn't Bail Organa just the best, most comforting character in the franchise?)

And that inquisitor - I was bummed that it ended so quickly. People, I'm a slut for Percy de Rolo, and then you give me an inquisitor with a bird like mask and a deep voice? AÑISDJHGFAÑSBJGFDA anyways ummm Ahsoka was a badass, as usual, and I really wanted to smack the dude who turned her in.

Hehes, I really hope not to have rambled too much. I'm still not over it, these are just my thoughts on the whole series. Soon, I'm going to rewatch it with a bag of popcorn.

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

at some point im gonna doodle Band AU Shadow and Maria in the sweaters like goddamn i really love how you characterized them the trans chapter still makes me tear up, I like how you rolled with the idea of sexual dimorphism between female and male hedgehog Mobians too tbh, did any of that originate from Amy's old design by chance? How she had once had her quills spiked up but later it was changed to them being slicked down? (Personally I like the echidna-hedgie hybrid theory for her but your take on it is really neat!)

I also just love how you've characterized them all. I'm gonna be ranting a bunch and it's gonna be confusing a lil but like pls stay with me i just have the Big 'Tism so my brain go hugvyfcrytjkn

I enjoy having the whole thing be very plotless tbh, there's not enough of that in fics imo and it's the exact stuff I need a lot and I love that. I don't ever really feel anxious that, say, Maria is gonna suddenly die or some shit like that, or that some cataclysmic event is gonna suddenly happen. I like that, I've needed a lotta that honestly. I just love how you've written it so much,,

I am still curious about Shadow's past, though. Was he still genetically engineered? Is he still part-alien??? Does Chaos Energy even properly exist??? Is Gerald just A Guy who is a scientist and actually succeeded at what he'd wanted to do???? Seeing as it seems his "backstory" never properly happened, and they're in modern times, I presume Gerald would be still alive or something. Is Eggman there too???? /Is there potential that younger-Eggman exists and he's like a weird internet troll to the band or something????/ Perhaps jealous that his cousin gets to meet the "cool guys" and there's a very small and non-dramatic plot of Tails being like "ugh this guy again" and Maria's like "oh yeah thats my cousin!" and everyone's like "WHAT????"

There's just so much to explore with such a domestic take on these characters honestly, and I really love that. It explores parts of their characters that often don't get touched often due to how much they're always fighting or dealing with drama. It allows dynamics to be explored that are never really toyed with in canon. Adapting various pieces of the characters to a more laid-back setting is genuinely REALLY fun and you've done it so well I just,,, wawUUUGH,,,

I'm so interested to see what goes on with Knuckles too, since his whole story is seemingly so fantastical yet so easy to adapt to a more mature and "realistic" setting. Does he simply come from a culture that's often overlooked in this world? Is his inner compass about protecting his family name? Is he actually the last echidna in this world or are echidnas moreso simply a group that are marginalized in some way? I almost feel like him being someone who's struggled through, like, immigrant struggles would almost be a really interesting take on him as a character. He's quiet about who he is, where he's from, often keeping to himself, it's why he doesn't sing on his own and why he often is seemingly just... There. But Amy knows, she's one of the only ones who does know.

And maybe if Shadow still shares that "being made in a lab" past as his canon self, perhaps he and Knuckles could end up being friends if Shadow were to learn about his past. They could relate to one another's feelings of not belonging where they are, yet having strong drives to defend WHO they are.

(I've been reading a lot of immigrant poetry recently for class and because, despite not sharing those experiences, I still always feel like I relate to the general themes of them. I dunno why, but I always imagine Knuckles being the type to write stuff like that himself, since his whole story draws a lot from very real and serious sorts of topics that can be related to some of those real-life issues. I really like that about him, how it always seems that his story is taken VERY seriously and not downplayed. That's why I liked him in Frontiers, and why I know many liked him in Sonic 2. Just mentioning this all because that's my inspiration for even coming up with this idea)

Again I absolutely do not wanna seem like im hijacking your story! I just wanted to rant about characters because hmmmmng,,, you write them so well and give me many idea and I love that,,

damn you put so much more thought into this au than i did LMAO

ummm okay i'll take these one by one

first: the trans chapter, that is ABSOLUTELY what i wanted to do and i'm so glad someone picked up on it. I think male hedgehog mobians have their quills spiked up while female hedgehogs tend to have them drip down. That's why Sonic pre-transition tied up his quills! However, I do think Amy fucks with her presentation a bit in that sense, she still spikes up her quills (though i think, similarly to how there are short haircuts that are deemed femenine by humans, the same thing could apply to hedgehog mobians and their quills)

about it being plotless... aha. haha. im gonna be honest. i love drama. there WILL be some dramatic event, and there’s gonna be drama, but it's not gonna be sudden. i'll be sure to have enough build up so it hurts a little less. a little. but its gonna take a while. so dont worry about it :)

OKAY shadow's past. okay. yeah so. okay. everything is like a lot more normal and domestic than in canon, so the whole magic and powers aspect is... altered. similarly to how it is in pirate au, the characters still have some trait thats similar to their powers/abilities in regular canon (sonic raced in highschool and regularly goes on runs, for example). I think Chaos Energy and the chaos emeralds and all that stuff is the equivalent they'd have of mythology. some people believe it, some people don't. "chaos and the emeralds" is a name that came to sonic based on one of those myths.

so... about shadow. gerald is dead. old age. i'm gonna try to explore shadow's past on later chapters so i'll keep it to: shadow was adopted by and raised by gerald until the doctor died, leaving shadow in charge of finishing raising maria. (and also, i didnt take eggman in consideration for this au because... implications. but it would be funny if he was just maria's annoying cousin that both of them can't stand)

and about knuckles! yeah, it's pretty much the former! it'd be interesting if he was an immigrant or someone from an overlooked culture. and no he is definitely not the last of his kind but i do think where the gang leaves it's not THAT common to see echidnas. i don’t think i'll touch much on that because... well i'm very much white and very much live in my birth country so i am deeply unqualafied to write about immigrant struggles, but that's definitely the direction i'd love to go to for knuckles. also you didnt ask this but he's like a big brother figure to amy, they were childhood friends

i actually hadn't thought about most of the things you asked, and this helped me do some worldbuilding, so thanks a lot for the questions!!!

[unreadpoppy]

RPDR Season 15 ep 4 review

now that I found a way to watch the episodes, i wanna give my thoughts.

I think putting snatch game this early on was a BIG mistake. Huge. Not only are there too many queens, which makes it harder to keep track of stuff but because the episodes are so much shorter, we do not have time. In other seasons, Rupaul usually does 3 to 4 questions in SG, in this one, which was supposed to be the Supersized SG, we only got 2 questions in each group, the queens have barely any time to shine. Like seriously, I canno for the life of me remember what half of the queens were for SG. Also, the fact the cut out Rupaul talking to them on the werk room, which is one of the best parts of the episode, ugh, why MTV why???

Anyways onto the performances themselves. I think it was definetly an improvment from last year´s Snatch Game.

Loosey, Mistress and Marcia x3 had me in stiches! I think all three of them really knew their characters well and they knew when to interact with other queens and how to answer Ru. All three of them also nailed on the voice for the impersonations, I was really impressed and happy with them. I also want to give a shout out to Amethyst. I didn´t know who her character was but she made me laugh a lot, and it was definetly a redemption after the previous two episodes.

Sugar, Spice, Aura and Salina for me were the worst. Sugar and Spice were really cringey and annoying and if I laughed, it was out of confusion. Aura had no clue what to do and when she started singing.... Salina was not funny and her gag of being pregnant felt out of nowhere.

About the other queens, we got shown so little. Sasha was barely there, I though Jax´s accent was funny, and for the life of me, I cannot remember who Luxx was impersonating.

For the runway, I liked the prompt but I think most looks were a miss. I was expecting something that was a mix of spooky with glamour, but most were neither, or just something pretty with a different makeup. Also, so many spiders, and as someone with arachnophobia, I wanted to die.

The higlights for me were Sasha (who is ALWAYS mothering), Luxx (her look was exactly what I wanted and when she opened her mouth and it had some like black goo, I was gagged), Loosey (love that she brought a slasher character, it was kinda like Bride of Frankenstein but make it Jason), Amethyst (love the Gaga reference, and I was so happy she was able to include the blood).

Marcia x3 was basic but after her explanation that she had to come up with that in 24h cause her designer bailed her, I giver a pass. Salina was just bad, the makeup didn´t look good, and her outfit was a mess. Sugar and Spice´s looks felt basic as well and so did their makeup. Malaysia, although her look itself was stunning and she surely did reach the beautiful part of the prompt, the nightmare was lacking. Shout out to Aura, her look was good but I personally didn´t vibe with it (and also something about the facial expressions she does on the runway always kill it for me, it always comes off as way too goofy).

Loosey wins the challenge and I´m happy for her, it definetly made sense not only with her performance, but also with her storyline (being in the bottom 3 on the 1 episode, being high last week and finally snatching a well deserved win here). The bottom 2 end up being the twins.

Listen, ever since they were cast, I knew production would make the twins lip sync against each other, it´s just so obvious. However, I thought it was going to be later into the season, because this feels so early. I was not a fan of the lip sync song, and I think they did the best they could. Also, the fact that they choreographed a number, props to them.

I´m sad to see Sugar go, and I´m interested in how Spice will fare on her own.

Also, I wanna talk about untucked as well. I think it was the first time I ever teared up with untucked. Sugar and Spice being scared of being separated is something I can definetly vibe with. The connection you share with a sibling is something really unique, and it´s really hard to be separated from them, and for the girls it´s even harder considering they´ve been together since their literal womb. Also, Sugar opening up about how their family was not accepting of them so they had to rely on each other for support is something a lot of us queer people can relate to, and it makes me understand their drag and their connection even more.

The other queens also supporting them and saying that even if their separated, they´ll have the other queens for support was really special. Sasha talking to them and having this very motherly feeling really touched my heart, and when Loosey´s voice broke I cried a bit.

Overall, I think it was a good episode, but it would be even better if we had more fucking time. I feel like some queens are fading into the background and it´s because we are not being given enough time to get to know them.

[borathae]

Chapter 28

AYO WHATS GOING ON

“Maybe you guys just need to fuck in a church again.” WTF HOW DID U KNOW THAT HOBI ?? IM SOO SCANDALIZED WTF MAN?? GIVE US A WARNING

“he told me, he was very proud of it.” ofc kook did it

“I don’t understand the obsession people have with coffee in general. It’s so bitter.” FUCKING TRUE HATE TAE AND COFFEE GANG tho i like latte cuz its more milk yum

wiat i meant tea sorry WAIT IM NOT SORRY FUCK YOU TAE TOO BYE

“They fucked?” Hoseok gasps, making Seokjin facepalm himself. HOBI NO U SAID U ARE NOT A CLOWN BUT THIS IS NOT HELPING YOU HOBARI (says another clown) (clown to clown bonding/connection)

"Seriously, I hope he bumps his little toe on a corner and as he jumps around in agony he steps on a lego and then as he leans down to rub his aching feet he hits his head on a corner. That’s what I wish upon his stubborn butt.” would u like the list i have love? i have already read it twice for joon and once for the rest of them

“Oh, okay. He told me to come too, isn’t that crazy?” he says and laughs shyly, scratching his stomach in a nervous manner. beetroot is so funny BUT I CANT GRRRR WAIT BEETROOT IS RIGHT THEY NEVER WERE TOGETHER UNLESS THEY FUCKED AND they are going to fuck in the chapter ho ho ho yoongi u sly my i see u

oh hoo they are fighting yum AND THEY ARE TLAING YOONGLES U ARE SMART wait THAT MEANS GIVING BEETROOT ATTENTION NO ah hey kook im sorry lets go back to being cute im really a hoe wow (when realization hits u)

FUCK WE ARE HAVING HATE SEX YESSH YESS *swings towel

HE JERKED OFF TO THEM FUCKING HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO HOT OMG KOOK IS GETTING HIS SPANKS AAH YOONGI STOP EXPOSING EVERTHING

let me turn on the ac its getting too hot from yoongi talking dirty and kook moaning

It makes them look so sinful. Fuck, you want to lick it off of him. FUCKING HELL UGH BLOOD SWEAT TEARS CAME TO MY HEAD ITS ALREADY HOT AND ALSO SAYS TO NOT GO AFTER TEMPTATION WHICH PERFECTLY SUITS THE TRAINING

SHE SAID NO FUCK TOO GOOD WHY IS UR SMUT SOO GOOD??? TOO ADDICTING HOLY FUCK SHE SAPNKED HIM SO HARD oh shit why can i already feel the impending doom of dom drop coming

EATING HIS BUBBLE BUTT WHILE GETTING IT FROM YOONGI BYE

“imagine her as a vampire Kook. Imagine what she could do.” shudders in remembering many oneshots

“Ah Mistress”, Jungkook moans with his voice pitched. you have successfully killed me

Yoongi had the audacity to reach under your shirt and pinch your nipple,THAT MF

THE WHOLE HAND??? does he have a black hole up there

his thoughts please he is soo cute i wanna die GIVE HIM EVERUTHING HE DESEVRES FUCK THE WORLD

FUCK WE DENY IT AGAIN this is too hot

i was holding my breath cuz this was too hot goosebumps everywhere

“this was the first time in sixty years that I wasn’t chained up and constrained during sex.” shit noo but im happy for him

oh thanks yoongi and jungkook for the reassuring he really wanted that, got scared for a moment

“he told me, he was very proud of it.” ofc kook did it

he's just a cutie <3

“I don’t understand the obsession people have with coffee in general. It’s so bitter.” FUCKING TRUE HATE TAE AND COFFEE GANG tho i like latte cuz its more milk yum

same jfadsjf I hate coffee

wiat i meant tea sorry WAIT IM NOT SORRY FUCK YOU TAE TOO BYE

wait. so you hate tea? lmao can't relate it's way too versatile to be hated

oh hoo they are fighting yum AND THEY ARE TLAING YOONGLES U ARE SMART wait THAT MEANS GIVING BEETROOT ATTENTION NO ah hey kook im sorry lets go back to being cute im really a hoe wow (when realization hits u)

I love kookie I couldn't be mad at him fr

FUCK WE ARE HAVING HATE SEX YESSH YESS *swings towel

me fr

HE JERKED OFF TO THEM FUCKING HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO HOT OMG KOOK IS GETTING HIS SPANKS AAH YOONGI STOP EXPOSING EVERTHING

I AM CLWAING AT MY WALLLSSS

let me turn on the ac its getting too hot from yoongi talking dirty and kook moaning

jfsdj me fr i love this trio so much ngngn

SHE SAID NO FUCK TOO GOOD WHY IS UR SMUT SOO GOOD??? TOO ADDICTING HOLY FUCK SHE SAPNKED HIM SO HARD oh shit why can i already feel the impending doom of dom drop coming

hahah I love that you are loving it <3

EATING HIS BUBBLE BUTT WHILE GETTING IT FROM YOONGI BYE

LIKE THE FUCKING DREAM

“Ah Mistress”, Jungkook moans with his voice pitched. you have successfully killed me

gooooddd I need to write more sub!kook againnnn

his thoughts please he is soo cute i wanna die GIVE HIM EVERUTHING HE DESEVRES FUCK THE WORLD

me fnadsnf

i was holding my breath cuz this was too hot goosebumps everywhere

ehehhe thank youuuu <33

[seikkoh]

Welcome everyone to: my haikyuu phase is back (it was never a phase)

ALRIGHT SO NO SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE RN

The movie should've been a whole season fr BUT it was still amazing.

I LOVED IT AHHHHHH I WANT TO WATCH IT AGAIN

The animation doesn't disappoint and god I swear it felt like only an episode, it went by so fast 😭 it was kinda rushed though but that's what I expected. Still, I was at the edge of my seats many times, the rallies were so good it felt like a real match. And ngl I got emotional at the end LMAO I felt the tears and I was wearing makeup so it got ruined but whatever, it was worth it.

I do wish it was more emotional, I mean I know we joke a lot about the monologues and the amount of flashbacks there are but I kind of missed them lol. Idk, the movie should've taken it easy and relax sometimes, gives us time to at least feel Hinata's and Kenma's feelings (especially Hinata's, he's the mc after all), but that's honestly my only complaint, and even so, I seriously enjoyed it. Hopefully the next movie lasts longer

It was sad the there weren't any freebies, or cardboards or posters though :(

BUT ANYWAY I NEED TO TALK ABOUT EACH SCENE SO SPOILERS INCOMING (ONLY FOR THE ANIME I DONT REMEMBER MUCH OF THE MANGA SO IM NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT)

The rallies were amazing. Those in which the ball went from one side of court to the other non-stop??? Like, Nekoma was amazing with their saves and so was Karasuno.

And the Kenma and Kuroo flashbacks 😭😭😭 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I wish I have a childhood friendship like them.

AND BOKUTO MY BOY He was amazing like always, cheering on Hinata and Tsuki. It was funny to see Bokuto, Tsuki and Kuroo "together" again, really missed their friendship/rivalry. AND THAT SCENE WHEN BOKUTO AND KUROO CHANGED THEIR HAIRSTYLES HAHAHBAHAHAHAH I LOVE THEM SM.

THE TSUKI AND YAMAGUCHI SCENE AAAAHHHHHHH YES YAMAGUCHI YOU GOT THIS‼️‼️‼️ Me and Tsuki are his cheer squad.

I wanted to hug Hinata so bad when Nekoma was going against him and were trying to stop his crazy jumps. He looked so frustrated and tired. That set from Kageyama mirrored the "take it easy" recieve from season 4 and it was what Hinata needed. A high set that gives you time to breathe, time to relax, time to think. And his "bam" jump was INCREDIBLE, and the way his eyes sparkled when he saw the set???? Ugh I love him so much. Loved all the Hinata and Kageyama scenes, their banter is always fun to see.

AND THE KENMA POV HOLY SHIT PLS MAKE MORE OF THOSE. That whole sequence had me at the edge of my sit, the way you could see Lev (or I think it was him? Idk) blocking, how Kenma clashed with him, then running after the ball, the receives, the other players, IT WAS BREATHETAKING I need one of these scenes but from Hinata's or Kageyama's pov. Both if possible 🙏����🙏

The way Kenma and Hinata were like "I don't want this to end" I DIDN'T WANT IT TO END EITHER THAT MOVIE SHOULD'VE BEEN ETERNAL.

THE POST CREDIT SCENE ‼️‼️‼️ HOSHIUMI IS HERE EVERYONE AAAAAAA AND THAT ALSO MEANS MY BOY SACHIRO IS NEXT IM SO READY FOR THE KAMOMEDAI MATCH

10/10 movie I wish it was longer and I may be biased but I don't care, I had a blast watching it.

Now, time to read the manga. I want to see the match in its full glory and see the monologues and flaskbacks.

I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT MOVIE

[lake-archive]

Fear Of Lonliness

Disclaimer! While I wrote this and many other Izumi/OC oneshots to be able to be understood in a vacuum, I recommend reading Alte Liebe Rostet Nicht for further context!

Izuann Masterlist (!!-Era)

AO3 Link

Fandom: Ensemble Stars

Characters: Izumi Sena, Original Character

Pairing: Izumi Sena/Original Character (Izuann)

Words: 2,103

Summary: The fear of being alone always lingers, especially when Izumi is overseas. So whenever he returns Ann cannot help but throw themself at him.

The days passed and everything was peaceful. At least for a while Ann could pretend that everything was fine, that there was nothing to worry about. After all, they had been over this. The time of agony was over and even the time before, where they might tear each other to literal shreds. It was all long gone and right now things go smoothly! Or they should go smoothly… It should, yeah. It should. But once apart they would be reminded of things, several things. They became… Scared.

It was a silly thought to be completely honest. No, it was dumb. Idiotic. Pathetic. Things shouldn't get to them like this and yet they were. Though they didn't let it get to them when he was around, at least somewhere close by. Though it was a constant back and forth. He spent quite a bit of time overseas after all and given the career plans it was of course understandable. They were not going to stop him, far from it. In fact they were as supportive as they could be from a distance. It was what they owed. No, it was what a partner should do! And even then… Was it enough? After all, one has to look at this from a more logical perspective.

He is worlds away from them. Technically this shouldn't work out… Right? Put them side by side and no one would think that the two even had any type of business with one another. A model and idol with a no name? Sounds like some twisted joke, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. And honestly it was still a surreal feeling for Ann.

First impressions and opinions on Izumi Sena aside, it was not something anyone probably expected. Wouldn't a model mingle with someone more… Classy? Or at least outstanding? Someone who looks good, yeah. Has a sense of fashion or something. Someone who can carry themself just fine and who is up to date. Or… Something like that. It was hard to put into words. And that's just about it on the outside.

Actually, given how much he just nags and complains it is hard to believe that these two are even a couple. After all, they heard so many complaints.

“Ah yeesh, did you burn your hand again!? Hah, stay there. I'll take care of it. So annoying.”

“Ann! What is that!? … I know how instant ramen looks! Are you seriously eating junk food again!? Ugh, come with me… And throw that away while at it!”

“Wha– Your room's a literal garbage dump again! How did you pull that off!? You're hopeless all by yourself… How can you even live like that?”

And these were just some examples. No day passed without Izumi mentioning something, complaining about anything Ann did or said. And he was not sugarcoating it either and they did not expect him to do that. But… Given how much he does it…

Isn't he going to grow tired of it? Who says he isn't actually!? He loves to say it himself! ‘ So annoying ’. Yeah, and they couldn't disagree… Each time they wondered why he was still keeping up with it. Or was he? Maybe he wasn't. It's a possibility, right!? If he's annoyed that much he will grow sick if it, won't he!?

It's not as if they weren't trying either. They were. But each time they even touch a pan or pot they burn the ingredients into flames. As for cleaning, they tended to kick the bucket over and throw things around, turning it into a mess. Sleeping schedule? Well… The bags under their eyes said it all. Needless to say, he always found something.  And there always was something.

So why? Why!? They were wondering just that… Why? What was up with that? Or was it like a ticking time bomb, waiting for everything to pile up and when the time comes it would all explode, right into their face? The thought alone made their stomach turn, twist it in various ways. It was painful but they couldn’t get it out of their mind when he was overseas. Because all it takes was meeting someone else, someone who clearly has everything sorted out… 

“ I’m not gonna leave you by yourself if I can help it! ” They recall those words still, even if time had passed at this point. But who is to say that will last? Time and time had proven it… Ugh, honestly, the truth was that they believed they were not good enough by design. What value did they even have? All they could think about was how they were always a mess… 

Sure, they had been reassured several times, especially at first, and he meant it. They could hear it. It was genuine. And yet… Was this really good enough? Weren’t they becoming overbearing? What if he changed his mind? It was always a possibility. 

Hah, it was stupid to think all of that though. They knew, of course they did. However, even if they knew, it was still a lingering fear. Sure, right now they were happy to be in company. But what if it ends? What if it all ends? From one day to the next. One mistake and it is all over, isn’t it? Especially when there’s little value to you overall. What can you offer? What can you do? No beating around it, they were scared, scared of one possibility… Just hearing one sentence. One small one.

“ It’s over. ”

Three words to end it all. All of this in one swoop, wash it all away and make this time null and void. It was an unreasonable fear but there is always a chance of someone leaving, isn’t there? 

You believe someone is your friend for over a decade? That means nothing. They can also just be gone by going against you or finding better friends. Couldn’t that be true in any other instance as well, no matter how close you are? 

Though the longer this drags on the longer this fear was eating them up. One could only overlook it for so long… But letting anyone know? No, that would lead nowhere. What they had to do was prove themself the entire time, prove that they are worth something… And not mess anything up by their own stupidity. That is why things usually go out of hand anyway. At least give them a chance to cling onto the situation as long as—

Hah, what were they thinking? This was all stupid, just stupid. Why was that still lingering? Hah, talk about a headache… They should just get back to work. Yeah, forget about it. Thinking about it doesn’t get them anywhere at the end of the day. It would only make it worse. Way worse. Just forget about it. Forget. Distract yourself. They’ll find a reason why someone would willingly stay with them. They were too much of a mess right now anyway.

But even if they forget, there’s one thing always crossing their mind… They don’t want to be alone again… 

“Ann? H… Hey, Ann! Ann!” They had been called out a few times, hearing their name being repeated all of a sudden. It had hit their ears out of nowhere and when they came back to reality, their thoughts having finished rushing through their mind they finally noticed what had been going on. And needless to say, it was embarrassing. 

Reality was that the two had been standing inside the office, probably for some time now. And it had then hit Ann out of nowhere, or rather them remembering what had been going on. 

Right, today was the day after a few weeks where Izumi had gone back to Japan. He had his jobs in Florence after all, being in that constant back and forth. Ann had not forgotten. In fact, maybe they had just looked forward to that day and the closer it got the more comments they got on how cheerful they seemed. Or in better spirits than usual. They liked to think that they could hide it but everyone had asked them the last few days. Even Leo pointed it out shortly after he came back, a little bit before Izumi did. Needless to say, everyone knew something was up but even fewer knew the exact reason (or so they hoped… Please god do not let this be an open secret case).

Back to the present, they had then just now realized again that they were essentially just latching onto the guy, though not facing him. Instead they had just managed to bury themself into his chest, unable to face him. In truth they just wanted to hide their expression at the moment, they always did. Facing him after so long of an absence was always somewhat overwhelming to be honest, sometimes it felt nothing but surreal. Being able to feel him so close, being able to shove themself onto him right then and there, right into his arms, being able to embrace him… It was always hard to believe for them. And yet, they could never stop themself all the same. If this was a dream they just begged to never wake up from it. 

But they had to let go eventually. Because him calling them out got a little embarrassing. Especially if standing around right then and there. They flinched for a short moment before their arms were able to let go, their body backing off and revealing their flushed face, just showing how nervous they were at the end of the day. “S… Sorry!” It shot out of their mouth, looking away in embarrassment. One would think that they were able to help it and yet… It seems that they never learned to do just that.

All it got out of him was a sigh and a headshake. “Good grief, I didn’t even say anything and you’re already clinging onto me like a koala.” He said, his gaze a little bit sharp at least. Though they had gotten used to it, admittingly. At least when it came to a hint of sharpness at least. 

All they could let out was a nervous chuckle. Were they clinging like that!? N… No way, right? Right!? Well, then again, they probably threw themself onto him without hesitation.

“You seriously thought I didn’t come back or something? Or are you that lonely?” He remarked, the end sounding somewhat snarky. He pointed it out without hesitation after all, finishing off with a light smirk… A smirk they knew all too well.

It left them almost speechless yet flustered all the same. Though they shook their head, merely because they didn’t want him to gain the upper hand. “N… No! It’s… Not like that!” They responded somewhat slowly yet lying… Obviously lying. Very obviously lying. It was painfully obvious. So obvious. “Just… Er… Ahem…” 

“You should work on your acting skills. Because you are convincing no one here.” He threw in, having even more of a grin now. And they felt called out, literally.

“S… So what!? Partners can… Miss the other!” They protested, noticing one of their cheeks puffing up, at least a little. This was just embarrassing now. Though it was not unusual for them to get a little touchy. Surely in a few days they had it all sorted out. 

Yeah, because the only reason why they were so flustered was because… Well… Being shot down. At least he didn’t seem to wanting to do that this time, much to their relief. They just couldn’t help it. If it was possible, they would probably cling onto him for as long as they possibly could. The desire was always too strong after a time of absence. They would never say it into Izumi’s face nor admit it directly but yes. They missed him that much. Even if it was only for a few weeks. Because it was somewhat lonely otherwise. All because they didn’t want to be alone in the end. 

“Alright fine, I have some time later. I’ll drag you somewhere if I have to since you missed me so much~” He teased in the end however. Did he know? Maybe to some extent but not to the entire extent… Right? Yeah, maybe he just had some idea.

“Wha— I did not say—” They were about to counter but shut up quickly, knowing that this was correct. Very correct in fact. “Wh… Whatever… Fine. Got time after all.”

But they were happy, even if only for this moment. Yeah, being alone was the worst. Even if only for a short while.

[kiwiorcore]

tomii hi!! hope you're good and i just wanted to know what you thought about the whole hamilton to ferrari thing? i still don't know much about f1 but even i felt like this was really important 😭 and i love reading anything you say too lol so it's better from you than anyone else 🫶🏽🫶🏽 also unrelated but please talk about tennant's macbeth i'll send another ask if i have to, i'm so curious!! love you and i hope you're doing well!!

hii! sorry for the late response

honestly i don’t think the reality of lewis moving to ferrari has well and truly set in. it’s just a bit confusing for me why he’s doing it cause merc doesn’t stink that badly and ferrari isn’t that good either. i don’t have anything insightful to say it’s just kinda like ‘wait is this seriously happening?’

spoilers for david tennant’s macbeth under the cut i guess??? can you really spoil macbeth?

so my drama teacher chose this production for out live performance review and oh my god was it good. like where do i even start

the staging was so good i loved it so much. i liked the like glass enclosure they had behind the stage. it was such an interesting staging decision. the lighting as well was sooo good. it’s such a joy to analyse. the live music they had added so much to the production it would have not been the same without it

someday i wish to be like max webster because only he could’ve come up with the idea to use binaural sound for the whole production. the witches at the beginning??? i jumped i loved them so much

david tennant was so good for the role of macbeth. he’s got a very insane look about him and he plays macbeth really well

on the topic of macbeth, cush jumbo played lady macbeth so well. i loved lady macbeth in this actually. everything about her made her feel like and outsider from her northern accent when the others had scottish accents and the fact she was the only one wearing white. just ugh i love it

malcolm and macduff had bigger roles in this production than others. i wish ross did as well because i love moyo akande but oh well. the time she was on she was really good she’s literally my idol

the actors playing malcolm and macduff must have had bills due during the scene ross comes and tells macduff his wife and kids are dead because that was the make gut wrenching thing i’ve ever watched. noof ousellam (macduff) portrayed macduff’s emotions so well and ros watt (malcolm) really convincingly made himself seem as if he was on the brink of tears

speaking of ros watt, omg ros watt. i loved everything about him. his physicality during the 2nd prophecy, his pleading with macduff, god everything was perfect. ros watt was perfect to play malcolm especially considering he’s smaller than the rest of the cast. just delicious. he’s got those big sad eyes that i love

noof ousellam as well. big massive sad eyes like that’s baby girl (he’s over six feet tall). when he was all up in malcolm’s face shouting, dear god i loved it. my little pea brain starting whirring. something about their height difference does it for me.

this is getting long so let me finish quickly. lady macduff, her screams were fucking bone chilling. the porter was so funny. his actor does really well in comedies. banquo was so fit omg. the child actor they had playing like all the children (and he died so many times poor kid) was surprisingly good as well

i desperately want to write about this version of macbeth/the cast (the guy playing donalbain has a podcast called putting it together and his interviews with the other cast members are really good) but i fear no one actually gives a shit

[viciciciinn]

I'm just your helper, am I not?

Minister x vice minsiter

*normal school day*

-"n-no, I can't do it! I don't know how to talk to people, take notes or anything! I wont be a good helper for you-"

-"Believe me Val, you will be the best helper I ever had. Didn't you see the others? They did nothing but stand there picking their noses."

-"D..Do you seriously think so? That's a lot coming from you." she giggles saying that.

-"Okay are you going to help me or not? There is no going back if you don't want to fall from being the teachers favorite to being the student that no teacher believes in."

sigh.

-"Okay, if you want it so much. I'll do it, only for you tho."

-"Great, I'll tell the teacher." she winks saying that

-"..Oh god. C-can I do this? I don't think I even have a choice to go back..I, I can't!..HEY WAIT!..L-LILAC!!" she was gone already.

She felt an arm touch her

-"EEK!! M-MAY!? YOU SCARED ME!"

-"Aha, why are you such a scaredy cat? And what was going on? You were mumbling about something.."

-"...I um.."

-"Come on girl, spit it out."

-" I think im going to be the vice minister.." She groans like she was about to die, nothing but a helper at this point.

-"Ooo, a helper for her? Could be a start of a love story"

-"S-SHUT UP!!" She hits her, not hard tho.

-"Ahaha! Okay calm down..You guys would be a cute couple thoo~"

-"MAAAAAY!!" they keep running around while may was running for her life.

-"OKAY OKAY STOPP. IM SORRY!!" She starts giggling.

-"Why are you even blushing that much.... I just made a joke!" They were both out of breath. About to faint.

-"I.....ugh."

-"Okay she's coming, wish you luck with your new girlfriend~~"

-"UGH! MAY!!" she tried to yell but may already got away.

-" What's wrong Val? Don't you want to be the vice minister anymore?"

-"..." she knew her emotions were visible and showing that she was sad and trying to hide it. But how couldnt Lilac notice that?

-"Val?? Heyy?" ..

-" I really need to go, see you soon." She grabs her books and her bag, storming out of the class.

-" VAL!..." It was no use to yell.

-"...Did I do something wrong?.."

Val was near the entry, trying to brush off every negative feelings she had. But she couldn't, of course.

-"Why can't I just keep my emotions to myself." She starts sobbing, hoping no one will see her in this position.

-" *sniff* am I even a use to be the vice minister, I can't even talk to people normal without fukcing things up." Her phone starts buzzing..It's from Lilac, she doesn't answer it, trying to wipe the tears.

-"VAL WAIT UP!" It's May running after her, they did walk to school and back to their houses every day since grade 4.

-"!!" Val starts running faster. May doesn't understand what's wrong with her.. Was she mad?

-"VAL!? ARE YOU OKA-" Val turns to her looking mad with tear drops falling.

-"Oh, uh..Y-yeah I'm okay, sorry for that." She wipes her tears. (Shut up it's not cringe 🙁)

-".. Okay if you say so, shall we go home?"

-"..mhm." she nods her head and starts walking.

. . .

-"Okay see you Val." They were in the entrance of Val's house.

-"Oh, uh..Thanks for coming with me.."

-"..Sure, no problem at all."

May watches Val go inside so she could go back to her house.

*Val's house*

-"Oh, hi honey! How was school?"

-"Hi mom, yeah it was okay." She runs into her room after a little chat between her mom.

-"Dinner is read-.. Nevermind then."

*Val's room*

-"..Was I too mean?." She puts her back away and gets in her pjs, looking at her phone and..Oh?

-"Huh? Lilac..Called me and messaged me a lot.." She closes her phone as she sighs.

-"Guess I'll just go to sleep to feel better."

. . .

*Next day*

-"HUH!?... SHIT SHIT SHIT MY ALARM DIDN'T RING!" She starts running around to get ready, fast..

-".." Her eyes went straight to her phone, seeing so many unread messages from...Yeah Lilac.

-Val?

-Did I do something wrong?

-Are you okay?

-..Are you ignoring me?

-Please text me back im getting worried.

And much more with a "goodnight, stay safe." Message at the end of the notifications.

-"oh." she lets a slight groan while getting her bag.

-"I don't even want to talk to anyone after this, did I really make her that worried?"

"VALL!! YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" Her mom yelled downstairs.

-"I KNOW MOM!" She grabs her phone and runs downstairs.

-"Oh, Val I made your lunchbox for today since you forgot to do it tomorrow."

-"..Thanks Mom." She grabs her Lunchbox, ties her shoes and goes out.

-"oh." May didn't wait for her, she was heartbroken but who would care.

-"Guess ill walk by myself again." She starts walking to school.

*Class*

-"MAY I TOLD YOU TO WAIT FOR HER NO MATTER HOW LATE SHE I-"

-"Well I guess she's here now. Happy?"

-"..pft." Lilac looked annoyed from May.

-"Hi Vall!" May hugs her.

-"..Yeah, hi."

-"...Val you okay?" Asks Lilac, but gets no answer.

Val puts her bag away and starts sketching like no one talked to her

-"Uh..Heyy?? I'm right here." ..no answer.

-"Lilac, I think she wants to be left alone." Says May, but surely she's worried too.

-"Val, tell me what happened?" She puts her arm over Val's shoulder but gets pushed.

-"..." She walks away.

-"Shit, i guess that joke that I did yesterday really touched her.

-"Shut up May." Lilac was sad but didn't show it, she has to be strong or else it's no use.

-"..Damn alright."

Lilac goes after Val, she was curious about what was wrong with her.

-"Val."

-"!!..." Val starts running.

-"VAL STOP RUNNING AWAY!"

-"LEAVE ME ALONE LILAC!" She had angry tears forming as she ran away.

-"tch." Lilac runs after her.

*rooftop*

-"..." Val was sobbing.

-"Val.."

-"Didn't I tell you to go away and leave me alone." Her eyes were red.

-"." Lilac grabs her hand.

-"You know we're still in the same class right? No matter how much you're going to ignore me you will have to talk to me since you are the vice m-"

-"SHUT UP!"

-".." Lilac was shocked seeing her that mad.

-"JUST...SHUT UP, AM I ACTUALLY NOTHING ELSE THAN YOU THEN JUST A HELPER? IM NO USE TO YOU IN ANY KIND OF WAY, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU WILL TRY I WILL NEVER BE THE PERFECT HELPER YOU NEED. STOP MAKING ME FEEL BETTER AND JUST...D-don't talk to me." Val realized how much she was yelling.

-" I- ....I'm sorry, i yelled too much..-"

Lilac hugged her.

-".. Don't be sorry."

-"...W-what are you doing."

-"It's alright to feel that, why didn't you tell me how you felt before? Instead of ignoring me you could've told me this earlier..I wouldn't want to make you do a job you didn't want..But still, didn't you want it yourself too?"

-"..." Val had no words for that.

-".." Lilac wipes Val's tears.

-"It's all okay now, you're more than my helper."

Note: AAAAA THIS WAS SO GOOD TO WRITEE!!

I've actually took this idea from my friend and me that is in the same class with me!

I really love writing stories but I could never find anything to write. And I don't know much about Turkish literature even tho I was born in Turkey. It was hard for me since our language exams were about writing and I messed it up a lot but English made me better since I really loved roleplaying and creating little stories for my OC's!

About my friend, she was the minister and I wanted to be the vice minister! Well yeah my anxiety did kind of mess things up for me in that time but I still had fun being a help for her.

(and yeah one time I did get hurt and ignored her for a day 💀)

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