#Shame Behavior

[ot3]

i do think some people need to get made fun of not because making fun of people is "good" but because there are a lot of situations where making fun of someone is the kinder and gentler option compared to just fucking hitting them. this is something i learned over many years in my youth as the adults in my life tried to get me to stop hitting people. but you gotta get results one way or another.

[luxlightly]

"If you're hurt by finding out that a person you admired did something bad or are worried about the idea they might, it shows you need to not form attachments to people you don't personally know."

I have bad news for you about how literally the entirety of human socialization and the human mind work. You can say "here's a stick from off the ground. his name is Stanley and he has a loving family" and then break the stick and people will feel hurt because they formed a positive connection to Stanley. Humans project attachment onto everything. Asking people not to feel connections to other humans is not feasible. It's not possible and, if it were, it sure as hell wouldn't be healthy.

You didn't do anything wrong if you feel hurt that someone you didn't personally know did something wrong. You're not parasitic or obsessive for wanting people you don't personally know to be good people. Being devastated that someone you liked did something horrible isn't a sign you liked them too much, it's a sign you have the basic human ability to form emotional and social connections. Your responsibility is being aware of those connections and behaving in ways that are healthy, respectful, and keep you and others safe.

Trying to just not admire people or not feel a connection to other humans won't work. Focus instead on being aware of what your relationships to other people are, what actions on your part are acceptable given that level of relationship, what actions are acceptable on their part, and what level of relationship it's realistic or healthy to project. And be ready, as with all things in life, to change your views on something or someone when presented with new information, even if you have very strong emotional connections to the subject. For example: "I'd love to get a cup of coffee with the celebrity I don't know and talk with them about a film they're in. I imagine that would be nice." <- normal human emotion "I will go to this celebrity I don't know and ask them, apropos of nothing, to get a coffee with me/I expect this celebrity I've never met WILL go to coffee with me" <- Unrealistic level of projected relationship. Crosses boundaries of normal human interactions between strangers.

"I'm devastated this actor I liked was an abuser" <- normal human emotion

"I won't believe that this actor was an abuser because I like him and therefore can tell he wouldn't do that" <- Unrealistic and unhealthy level of projected relationship. Unsafe for you and others.

You can't just "not admire" people, yes, even people you don't know personally. Instead, be careful to make sure your admiration of someone doesn't affect your ability to make judgements about them.

[itwaslegendary]

Taylor Swift's interview on CBS Sunday Morning; 25/08/2019

[likeastars]

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THE GUY WHO HAS TREATED ADA THE BEST UP UNTIL NOW WAS FUCKING- ugh. Give me a second. *swallows a bit of vomit* ok ok. I'm good. no wait- blegh. ok. ahem. FUCKING MONTRESOR?????????

[solarcapitan]

People who try to get Cats to make sense are missing the point. All the nitpicking about "oh but what IS a Jellicle cat, the opening number is vauge and confusing--" It's supposed to be! The unspecific and fantastical allusions in the Jellicle Songs prologue create a purposeful air of mysticism around the Jellicles because cats for centuries have been associated with mystery, witchcraft, granduer. The original book of poems was all about imagining what fantastical and creative things outdoor cats were doing when they were out of the house. Even in the house cats do weird inexplicable things we can't understand, and the musical embraces that sense of confusion because it is the perfect breeding ground for fantastical storytelling. Obviously the sensuality of Cats removes some of the inherent childishness of this concept, but the musical still manages to retain that not exactly child-like but proudly primitive sense of wonder that comes with any kind of anthropormorphization.

[peachdues]

the older I get the more aware I become of how young teenagers look.

And it makes me so sad and disgusted to think I once looked that young and had grown men (20s — 50s) catcalling me. Following me. Trying to get my number, saying horribly crude if not outright sexual things to me.

You cannot tell me you can look at a 14 year old in a school uniform and not know that’s a child. You can’t tell me you can look at a teenager anywhere and not know they’re a child.

It just makes me sick.

[killyjae]

No, no. Absolutely not. No, you do not get to just blame your actions on your condition (that you could possibly not have. You've done this before. Remember faking pregnancy?) for YOUR actions. That's what you're doing right now, even when you say you aren't. You're ableist, racist, and you hurt so many people. I felt for you until it was evident that all you're wver going to do was hurt people. You don't get to say that. You're not running away this time. Absolutely not. You ARE that same monster.

[fantasygerard2000]

It honestly feels like the discourse around these two is less about Disney not being "bold" or "creative" and more about people being salty they didn't get their goth GF and glowing twink

[omegalerc]

max could literally be hated by the entire grid and charles would still find an opportunity to glaze him

[wewerebornsextuplets]

everyone should think too deeply about small oc details forever btw. it makes life better

[uzi-x33]

im sorry but I beg your finest fucking pardon??? did we watch the same anime? did we read the same manga?? I don’t fucking think so bc what the fuck. And don’t get me started on the caption “we love our p3d0 king” he’s not a p3d0????💀💀 like plain and simple he’s not. he’s more likely to kill a p3dophile prove me wrong.

[i-missthesage]

I know he’s evil but he’s so silly

[bruciemilf]

Jason @ Dick after the fucker conveniently didn't tell him Bruce actually DID want to and TRIED to kill the clown but he had political immunity due to being the ambassador of Iran and Clark stopped him to avoid a war:

[shallowseeker]

On another note, it is ASTOUNDING by the number of viewers who don't give Dean any leeway in the time immediately after his actual possession by Michael Theee AU archangel.

It's like ... did you forget about the wound of possession or is it only DEAN who should bounce back and be the paragon of patience and virtue afterwards?

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS SMOKING BECAUSE I WANT SOME

[starlightswait]

moral scrupulosity is literally SO funny if you think about it

bc it's literally like "btw you're a monster and a terrible person if you don't approach literally every single situation with kindness care compassion and nuance no matter the context and any misstep no matter how small you make means you don't care. but also if you do that it doesn't even matter because you're just doing it so you can feel like a good person so it's selfish and you're still terrible."

like you literally (and i use this word a lot but i mean it here; it is IMPOSSIBLE that's the POINT) cannot win and once you zoom out and look at it that way it's like oh!!! this literally doesn't help anyone!! least of all me! what's the point what's the point!! (the point is literally just self-psychological torture btw hdoshsuhsh. it's hard to realize but once you do it's like. oh.)

and i know it sounds sarcastic to say it's funny and it is a little. but it also kind of is like. when you can look it from a more objective viewpoint it's like ???? "i fear the logic isn't there."

and honestlyyy. honestlyyyyy. i agree that more people need to learn what moral scrupulosity is and take Steps because it is wayyy more common than people realize. you do not have to have ocd to be struggling with it. like. diagnositc criteria and labels can be beneficial but they're really just there to put a name and potential options for treatment based on what's worked in the past to collections of thought and behavioral patterns. and honestly i can't speak to everywhere but in the us at least i honest-to-god believe moral scrupolosity is something societally enforced in ways it's hard to see unless you know what it is and what to look for. free yourself <333

[shakingparadigm]

okay but seriously all jokes aside I really do understand ivan. like having a schedule so packed and busy is so insanely draining no matter how long you've conditioned yourself to endure it. sacrificing certain things like lunch or sleep just to gain the slightest bit more time for yourself is something that feels almost essential to keeping yourself together and not feeling like you're losing yourself in the cycle completely. it's like its own little act of rebellion in a way, something along the lines of you can drown me in work and monotony but I'll keep carving these little spaces of time for what little I have for myself, even if I have to carve them out of my own chest. I will sacrifice parts of myself to ensure that I don't fully succumb to whatever you're trying to make me into. I am human, this is the proof, I will make time even if it ruins me. you know?? yeah. you get it