#She didn’t want to have sex until after we’d dated for a bit

[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly - Chapter 5

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 5400+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: This is it. The chapter I initially wanted to write. Literally, just a small little one shot. But no. That’s not the Miller way apparently and once again, a Miller man took me by the hand and said “more”. Also I’m sorry please don’t hate me.

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**Divider made by @benkeibear 

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

Dating changed absolutely nothing between us. It felt the same as it always had, us sharing jokes, laughing, listening to each other, the amazing sex, just being around each other. Tommy and I always got along well and I guess it feels the same because we’d always been flirting. And then fucking. The only thing we never did was officially date.

A couple months in, Joel and Sarah have us over for our weekly family dinner. Joel had asked us to not tell Sarah about the baby until we were sure it was sticking around, which was fair. Since everything was going great with the pregnancy, we all agreed it was time to tell her. 

“We’re having steak? Since when are family dinner’s so fancy, dad?” Sarah asks as she walks into the kitchen, looking over her dad’s shoulder at the plate of grilled steaks. 

Joel nods towards me. “It was Daisy’s request.”

Sarah raises her eyebrows. “I didn’t realize we could make requests.”

“She can. You can’t.”

Sarah scoffs as she sits down, the rest of us joining her at the table. “That’s not fair. Why does she get special treatment?”

Joel starts loading steak onto plates and passing them around the table. “Because she’s stuck with Tommy and I feel bad for her.”

“Fuck off,” Tommy says, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. He clears his throat before looking at Sarah. “Actually, there’s a reason. A real reason.”

Sensing the change in tone, Sarah looks up at her uncle. “What’s up? Did someone die? Oh no, you guys aren’t breaking up are you? What did you do, Uncle Tommy?”

“Hey now, what makes you think I screwed it up?” Sarah looks at him, one eyebrow raised. “Alright, fair point. But no.” Tommy takes my hand, rubbing little circles into the back of it. “You’re going to be a cousin.”

It takes her a second, the math playing out in front of her glazed over eyes before she looks at me for confirmation and I nod, my hand going to rest on my small stomach before she screams, launching herself out of her chair and nearly knocking me out of mine as she flings her arms around my neck. 

“Oh my GOD this is amazing news! I can’t believe I’m going to have a cousin!! AAHHH A BABY, DAD! THERE’S GOING TO BE A BABY IN THE FAMILY!” She launches herself at Tommy next, nearly knocking him out of the chair. “I promise I will help and babysit and do whatever you need for the baby! Wait, is it a boy or girl?”

“We won’t find out for a bit yet. But when we do, we’ll let you know.”

Sarah squeaks and hugs Tommy again. “I am so excited! You’re going to be a great dad, Uncle Tommy I know it!”

The rest of the dinner I wanted for nothing, Sarah immediately jumping to help me before Tommy could blink. Joel explained that she’d been dying to have a sibling for the longest time, but this is the next best thing. When it’s time for us to leave, she hugs me but pushes her face to my stomach, whispering things to the baby. Tommy gets in his truck after helping me in, chuckling as he starts it. 

“Well I don’t think we’ll ever have to worry about a babysitter.”

“At least until she finds a boyfriend.”

“Don’t let Joel hear you say that.”

We reach the end of Joel’s street and Tommy stops, his hand hovering over the blinker. 

“Tommy?”

“Move in with me.”

“What?”

He turns in his seat, throwing the truck into park. “I mean it. I’ve been wanting to ask you for…well, forever. I hate you being so far away all the time and fuck I love you so much and I just want to take care of you, and make sure that-”

“Tommy-”

“-that you’re never wanting for anything and-”

“Tommy-”

“-and I want to wake up every day beside you, officially, and-”

“Tommy!”

He pauses and looks at me. “Y-yeah?”

I take his hand and hold it, feeling his warmth seep into my skin. “I love you too and I would absolutely love to move in with you.”

His eyes brighten as a smile stretches across his face. “Yeah? Really?”

“Really. I love you, Tommy Miller.”

He pulls my face to his and kisses me, only breaking it to the sound of a horn honking from behind us. He laughs and pulls back, putting on his blinker and driving towards my apartment. 

“Tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow.”

Several weeks later, once we’re all moved and settled in, we go to my OB, an ultrasound wand gliding around my stomach as they take their measurements. 

“Baby is looking good, healthy. Growing just as they should be. Oh which reminds me - do we want to know what we’re having?”

Tommy takes my hand where he stands next to me. “Yes, ma’am we would.”

She slides the wand around for a few moments and then stops, taking a picture of the ultrasound. “You’re going to have a boy.”

Tommy lets out a puff of air. “Are..are you sure?”

The OB smiles. “Oh yes. You see this here?” She points at a spot on the screen. “Definitely a boy.”

Tommy laughs, actually whooping a little and when he turns to me, I see tears welled up in his eyes before he wipes them away. “We’re gonna have a son. I can’t believe it! I’m gonna have a boy!” He leans down and kisses me and my hand comes up to the back of his head to pull him closer. He pulls back a little, eyes looking between mine. “What do you think?”

“Honestly, I just wanted a healthy baby. But I can’t wait to see a mini you walking around. Will it come out with a tiny belt buckle?”

“Oh shut up!” He smiles against my lips as he kisses me once more before letting the tech finish their scans. 

The pregnancy progresses and I start to feel more like a house, sweating whenever I think about walking, struggling to get up from sitting. The Texas heat becomes more and more oppressive and I find myself sweating from places I didn’t know I could. 

Tommy is wonderful. I don’t know what I did to deserve him. Every day he comes home and gives me a massage, paying extra attention to my feet and lower back, even learning how to massage for the sciatica that started up several weeks back. He gets me anything I ask for, no matter how ridiculous, and showers me with love and affection, praising me for the ability to grow a new life. 

“Ugh, I’m so big I can’t do anything!” I slam my fist on the bed next to me where I had tried, and failed, to sit up. 

“You’re in the home stretch, darlin’. Soon you’ll be holdin’ that son of ours and making me want to put another one in you I know it.”

“Slow down there, cowboy. I haven’t finished cooking this one yet.”

Tommy chuckles. “True. But until then, can I help you feel better?”

“How would you oh.” Tommy slides his hand between my legs, gently brushing over my sensitive clit. He leans in and nibbles on my ear lobe, gently pressing a finger over me where I need him and I whine. “Is that a yes, darlin’?”

“Oh fuck yes.”

Tommy continues to touch me as he nibbles on my ear, kissing that spot under it that has my hips jerking into his hand. Then he pushes up and drops between my legs, pulling from me 2 of the most intense orgasms I’ve had this entire pregnancy.

“Feeling good, darlin’?” Tommy asks as he wipes his face, sitting up from between my thighs. 

“Mmhm. But I need you.”

Tommy looks at me, his eyebrows pulled together. “I’m not sure-”

“The doctor said it might help stimulate labor.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. And I am so ready to not be pregnant in this heat. Please Tommy?”

He looks at me and I try to copy his puppy eyed look, but all he does is laugh at me. “You’re so terrible at that.”

“Shut up.”

“Tell me if I hurt you, ok?”

“Of course.”

An hour later, my water breaks.

Calm and collected, Tommy uses every ounce of his training from the army to get us to the hospital on time and safe. Once we’re in the labor and delivery room, he shoves our bags to the side and continues his support, counter pressure on my hips during contractions when I ask him, ice chips, sneaking me honey sticks or whatever I wanted when the nurse wasn’t looking. He lets me tell him what I need and then he did it and I really don’t know what I would’ve done without him. He constantly whispered words of affirmation in my ear, especially as time went on and he could see me getting exhausted. 

“You’ve got this, Daisy. You’re the strongest person I know. You’re gonna breathe this baby out.”

16 hours of labor later, our son Jackson was born. The moment Tommy caught him he had him wrapped around his tiny little finger, Tommy’s tears falling onto his tiny little chest as he took his first breaths in this world. 

“Hey little guy. It’s me. I’m your dad.” His voice cracks on the last word as he turns to hand me our son. I take him, tears streaming down my face at this little tiny human who holds my entire being. 

“Hey Jackson. It’s mom. I’m so glad to finally see you on the outside!”

Tommy cuts the cord and then comes back by us, tears fully streaming down both of our faces as Jackson cuddles further into me. If he wasn’t in my arms he was in Tommy's, his tiny little body curled up and relaxed on his dad’s broad chest was enough to punch anyone right in the baby maker. And I’d just had a baby. 

Sarah is beside herself. She absolutely adores Jackson and spends every moment she can with him. Whenever she can get him away from Tommy that is. Even Joel, who had warmed up to me the moment Tommy and I started dating, melted over him, visions of his daughter playing in his eyes whenever he looked at Jackson. 

A few weeks after Jackson was born, Tommy comes out to find us in the living room, the tv on low as I feed him, circles under my eyes from lack of good sleep, hair in a messy bun, and smelling of milk. He sits next to me and puts his hand on my thigh, rubbing circles into it.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

I scoff. “Oh yeah, I’m sure I look like I’m ready for the runway.”

“I’m serious. You fucking made a human. You did that. Made a human and take such good care of him and you just…I love you.”

I can’t help it, but I cry, half from his words and half from the hormones that are just about out of my body from everything. 

“Marry me.”

I stop crying to look at him. “What?

“I had a whole thing planned but seeing you now? I can’t wait. Will you? Marry me?”

“You wanna marry me when I look like this?”

“Darlin’, you are gorgeous and strong and I fucking adore you. But if you’re not ready and I asked too soon, I promise I’ll wait. I can-”

“Yes.”

“Y-yes?”

The tears fall again, streaming down my face as I nod furiously. “I want to be Mrs. Miller.”

He laughs, pulling my face to his and kisses me, his tongue sliding into my mouth, moaning slightly before a tiny cry makes him pull back.

“Sorry, bud. I just had to kiss your mom. Wait right here.”

Tommy disappears into our bedroom and comes back with a small black box, opening it to reveal a ring, a slim white gold band with a modest sized diamond in the middle, and an engraving on the inside that simply said “Miller” with a tiny daisy engraved with it.

“Oh Tommy! This is beautiful!” He slides it onto my finger and I cry again looking at it. Honestly, I would’ve stayed with Tommy for the rest of my life without a ring. Without even officially dating. And when I told him as much, he laughed and said he wished he’d have known as he could’ve saved a lot of money.

We get married when Jax is about 6 months old in a small ceremony in our own backyard. Tommy, Joel, and Sarah completely transformed our small yard into something out of a story. Twinkling lights strung amongst the tree branches and bushes, a few long, wooden planks are set on stumps to make benches, and Tommy builds an archway for us, decorating it with vines and flowers, Sarah adding lights and a beautiful purple strip of fabric that was her grandmothers. I can see the tears glisten in Tommy and Joel’s eyes before they turn away clearing their throats, memories of their parents flashing in their eyes.

It’s strange. I’ve always heard people say, either in real life or on tv or movies, that they were so nervous on their wedding day. Cold feet. But me? I have none of that. I know that I was meant to be with Tommy, whether we got a receipt or not. And when I make my way down the flower petal clad aisle, staring into his deep brown eyes that are glistening with tears, a smile stretching his face, I know that he feels the same way. 

The celebration goes long into the night, Jax snuggled up next to Sarah, who also passed out in a little makeshift play area she had made for him. When it’s finally time to say goodnight to everyone, Joel quietly picks up Sarah and carries her to his truck and Tommy does the same with Jax, taking him upstairs to put him in his crib. The mess had been cleaned by family and so I follow Tommy, watching as he carefully adjusts Jax in his bed. My little family. I never dreamt in a million years that this is where I’d be at this point in my life, but I know I wouldn’t change a thing.

“What do you think about this one, little guy?” Tommy holds up an apple in front of him, Jax in the baby carrier strapped to his chest. He stares at the apple for several moments before babbling loudly and reaching for it. Tommy chuckles. “Alright, this one it is then.” He kisses the top of Jax’s head and puts the apple in the produce bag and repeats the process with all of the apples, completely oblivious to all of the women looking at him with heart eyes and at me with jealously. I really couldn’t care less. My eyes are glued to my husband, making me feel like I’ve been punched in the uterus. Suddenly, a Buddy Holly song rings out over the store’s PA system and Tommy puts the bag of apples in the cart, quickly moving to stand in front of me. 

“Let’s dance with mommy!”

Jax looks at me, his grin wide on his face with his few teeth showing as Tommy dances and sings with him, moving his little arms in time with me as I dance too. When the song ends, I look up at Tommy and find him already looking at me, his eyes soft and full of love that washes over me, making me warm all over. He takes my hand and pulls me to his side, leaning down to press his soft lips to mine. When he pulls back just a bit, he looks into my eyes and I nearly melt into a puddle there in the produce section. 

“I love you, Daisy.”

“I love you, Tommy.”

“You boys are sure working hard on that sandcastle! You want to take a juice break?” I ask, shielding my eyes from the sun as it blares down on the sandy beach. 

“No, mommy. Build!” Jax waves a hand at me, never removing his eyes from the sand castle Tommy is building in front of him. He’s pointing out different structures, the way to build it properly so it wouldn’t fall over and Jax stares between the castle and his dad with rapt attention. When the wave finally comes in, the water fills the moat perfectly, not even a crumble of sand coming down from the castle. Jax squeals with delight as Tommy hoists him in the air, laughing as he spins him around. 

“Great job, Jax and Uncle Tommy!” Sarah smiles wide at Jax as he takes her hand, pointing out all of the things that Tommy did to her. Joel stands to the side, making notes on what he’d do different until Tommy punches him in the arm.

“Shut up, asshole.”

“Language.”

Joel kneels down by Sarah and Jax, attempting to make his changes while Tommy walks back over to me, trying to insert himself next to me on my towel.

“Excuse you, sir. I do believe there is no room on this towel for you.”

He slides his hand over my bare skin, lifting himself to lay partially on me, his hand cupping my face, turning me to him. He leans down, his nose tracing a line up my neck and I let out a puff of air, my hand immediately coming up to scratch his scalp. His lips meet mine, his tongue gently prodigy at my lips and I slowly open them. He moans into my mouth, his hips slightly moving of their own accord. I turn towards him, throwing my leg over his back-

“Hey! There are kids here!” Joel yells from the sandcastle.

Tommy turns his head to the side and yells back. “How do you think they got here?”

“Get over here asshole and help me finish this castle so we can have lunch.”

Tommy chuckles and kisses me once more before leaning next to my ear. “We’ll pick this back up later.”

He pushes himself up, dusting his trunks off before turning and running back towards them, Jax and Sarah screaming with delight as he chases them around, nearly destroying all of Joel’s work. Soon Joel has joined in too, mostly to tackle Tommy into the sand, the kids’ laughter ringing out loud when Tommy’s butt hits the ground.

“It still needs a little work, but Joel and I can finish that up. Maybe make it self sustainable,” Tommy explains as we drive down the very narrow road that I eventually realize is a driveway. We pull up to a cabin that Tommy has definitely undersold.

“Tommy, we can’t afford this. Not even splitting it with Joel.”

We pull up in front of the modestly sized cabin that looks like it belongs on HGTV. And he says it isn’t even finished?

“Well that’s the thing. You remember the Jones’s? That big client we landed right around the time we uh, got together?” Tommy smiles and clears his throat, his eyes quickly darting to the rearview mirror to make sure Jax was still asleep. 

I nod. “Of course. They’re your biggest client.”

“Yeah, well I guess they have too much property and just want to get rid of it.”

“And they’re just giving it to you?”

He chuckles, putting the truck into park and shifting to look at me. “Nah. But they offered it to Joel ‘n me for an extreme discount. Less than what they paid for it, even including the upgrades.”

I glance out of the front window towards the cabin before looking at him again. “Why would they do that?”

Tommy shrugs. “What can I say? Mrs. Jones loves me. Anyway, they have it almost finished, just a bit of work on the patio and then basic stuff inside.”

His eyes are bright and excited. I can tell he really wants to do this and honestly, it would be really great to have somewhere to come to relax and unwind with the family. 

“Tell me more about it.”

His smile lights up the cab and I already know I’m on board with whatever he says. That damn smile with those fucking freckles kills me every time. 

“There’s 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. All en suite. A big kitchen with those double stoves you always talked about, a nice sized dining area we could put a nice big table in, a stone fireplace that nearly spans the whole wall. Oh, and uh walk in closets and a sort of game room? Activity room? Somethin’ like that. And…let’s just go inside. I’ll give you the tour.”

Jax wakes up at that moment, yawning and looking around with his eyes that match his dad’s as he takes it in. “Daddy, we go in?”

“Yeah, bud. You wanna see?”

He nods furiously. “Yes!”

Tommy gives us the tour, Jax squealing with delight at nearly everything and I can’t blame him. This place is gorgeous. But Tommy also points out the practicality of everything, from the titanium shutters that will board the windows when no one is here to the laundry room that I always wanted, and the fact that he and Joel were planning on finishing the self-sustainable grid and water system, so we wouldn’t have to worry about the power going out, which was apparently pretty common all the way out here.

“And over there?” Tommy points to a space out in the backyard as Jax runs around laughing. “I was thinkin’ we could put in a greenhouse and root cellar. I know how you always wanted one.”

“Really? You think Joel would be ok with that?”

“Darlin’, if we weren’t already married, he’d have proposed after tasting one of your tomatoes.”

“Explains the moaning when he eats one.”

We have a laugh and watch Jax run around for a while between the trees. He comes running up to us and Tommy picks him up, swinging him through the air, Jax’s scream of happiness ringing out. 

“Daddy, we stay here?”

Oh shit. They’re both looking at me with the same puppy eyed look. I cave instantly, although I was already going to agree. 

“Only if daddy and Uncle Joel think they can handle it.”

“Pass me the hammer please, Jax.”

It’s been a few months since we officially purchased the cabin, splitting it with Joel. All of us have spent several weekends here, Tommy and Joel finishing the upgrades to make it self sustainable, adding the greenhouse and other little touches. Today was the day they would finish the back porch. Sarah has been inside the greenhouse with me, helping me plant some vegetables and things in the root cellar. I come up to watch them for a bit, Jax following around his dad, tiny little toolbelt around his waist, complete with a giant belt buckle like his dad’s. He’s turned his hat backwards and is bending over Tommy’s large tool bag, tiny little finger pressed to his chin while his eyes scan the tools. He grabs one using both hands and holds it up, smiling triumphantly as Tommy praises him.

“Look at my strong little man! Let me see your muscles.” He takes the hammer from Jax who immediately flexes his little arms. Tommy squeezes his biceps and whistles. “You’ve got some strong muscles there, son.”

“There’s no way. Let me see.” Joel stops what he’s doing, Jax turning to him and waiting his approval. Joel raises his eyebrows and looks at him. “Wow Jax! I bet you could even pick me up!”

“I can! Watch!” Jax runs up to Joel and throws his arms around his leg, trying to lift him. Joel discreetly goes up on his toes, acting shocked and impressed that Jax could lift him.

They finish the porch and pull out a folding table, Sarah and I quickly grabbing some chairs to put around it, adding a big pitcher of lemonade that Sarah had made to the middle of it. Tommy and Joel argue at the grill for a bit over how exactly to grill the steaks, but eventually we all sit, admiring the setting sun and their hard work. 

Many weekends are spent here, holidays too, all of us loving the peace and quiet. A short ways from the back of the house is a giant lake that is shared with a handful of other cabins across the way. Tommy and Joel vow to look up someone to build a dock eventually, so until then, we have to push the little pontoon boat into the water ourselves, bringing it back up onto it’s trailer and storing it in the outside garage. The fact that this place came with it’s own boat still blows my mind. 

Sarah and Jax end up sharing one of the bedrooms, complete with bunk beds, their laughter and talking echoing down the hall until one of us has to tell them to go to bed. I love their relationship, Sarah treating Jax like the sibling she never had, and Jax the same with her. 

3 years after Jax was born…

“Pancakes, mommy?” Jax asks me as he walks behind me into the kitchen. 

“Let me see, bud.” I rummage through the cabinets, no pancake mix to be found. “Sorry, Jax. No pancakes today. How about a smoothie?” He nods enthusiastically and tells me a laundry list of fruits he wants, some completely made up. I’m gathering up what we have when Tommy comes downstairs, his red shirt unbuttoned, showing off his white tank underneath, stretching out over his large chest. He walks up to me and cages me in against the counter, both of his hands planted on either side of me, smiling when I look up at him. 

“Mornin’ darlin’.”

“Morning.”

He presses his lips to mine, his tongue coming out to slide across my lips and I moan slightly, fisting my hands in his tank top as he closes his arms around me. I can feel him growing more needy but a plastic cup clatters across the floor, breaking the moment. 

“Sorry!” 

Tommy breaks the kiss and chuckles, turning to see Jax chasing down the cup that was bouncing across the tile floor. 

“That’s alright bud. I’ll just have to-” 

Jax squeals as Tommy launches himself at him, chasing our little 3 year old around the kitchen. He bolts and runs towards his room upstairs and Tommy slows, stopping next to me to give Jax a moment to get into his favorite hiding spot, deep in his closet. 

“He’s a fast little bugger, isn’t he?” Tommy catches his breath while I hand him a to-go mug of coffee. 

“That’s why I don’t blink ever… You going to be early today?”

Tommy thinks a moment. “We have to meet the suppliers for this one gig and meet with the Rivieras to try and finalize that building deal. I think I’ve got them, just gotta cover a couple more things.”

“Don’t forget about Joel’s birthday today.”

Tommy takes a sip of his coffe and savors it for a quick second. “Yeah I know. I gotta pick him up today. His truck is in the shop.”

“Again? He really needs a new one.”

Tommy sighs. “Yeah. He’ll wait until that thing is drove into the ground though.” He pauses and looks at the counter behind me where Jax’s smoothie sits waiting to be blended. “Smoothie? No pancakes?”

“Out of mix. I’ll pick some up tomorrow at the store.”

He sticks out his lip to pout and I can’t resist it. I reach out, sliding my fingers behind his large belt buckle and pulling him to me, leaning up to bite his lip. 

“Careful there, miss. Don’t start somethin’ you can’t finish.”

I open my mouth to respond when Jax yells from upstairs. “DAAAAAD!”

Tommy chuckles, kissing me one more time. “That’s my queue. We will finish this tonight.” His eyes are dark as they meet mine and I push my legs together, a movement that doesn’t go unnoticed by Tommy. He winks before leaving the kitchen, moving exaggeratedly loud up the stairs. A moment goes by before Jax squeals and Tommy comes back downstairs with him hooked under his arm like a football, kicking and laughing the whole way. He sets him down and Jax tries to play fight him. They wrestle a moment before Tommy pretends to get hit hard, crumbling to the floor as Jax jumps on him and he grunts. 

“You got me, little man!” 

“Look mommy! I win!”

“My strong boy!”

Jax puffs out his chest as Tommy stands, giving him a hug before putting on his boots. 

“You be good for your mama today, alright?”

“We go to cabin tomorrow? With Uncle Joel and Sarah? And Uncle Joel's um..girl friend?"

Tommy nods. “Yeah, bud. If they’re still up for it. But-" He glances up at me "- Rose has to work so she can't make it. Guess the hospital needs extra hands."

This seems acceptable to Jax and he bounds back into the kitchen, sitting at the table to wait for his smoothie, pulling some coloring books and crayons towards him that were on the table. I walk Tommy to his truck where he quickly spins me around and pushes my back into it, kissing me deeply, one hand gripping my hip and the other twisting in my hair. He whimpers as he pushes himself against me and I almost tell him to meet me in the backseat. 

“We do have neighbors, Tommy.”

“So?”

“They have kids.”

He sighs before pulling back. “I can’t wait to get you on my own for a bit this weekend. I gotta make sure you remember how to yell my name.”

My knees go weak as his lustful gaze bores into mine. “Th-that’s good because I need to see how many sounds I can pull from you.”

Tommy groans and kisses me once more before he gets in his truck, turning it on. 

“See you tonight. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

I watch him drive off, giving me a wave before his truck disappears around the corner. Heading back inside, I see that Jax had moved from the table to turn on the tv. He was pressing buttons on the remote and getting more and more frustrated as the news program won’t click off. Instead, it gets progressively louder as he jams the wrong button.

“...continued disturbances in Jakarta, but are advising US citizens…”

“MAMA HELP!” Jax shoves the remote at me and covers his ears while I tap a few buttons, quickly putting on PBS Kids. He settles on the couch and I let him drink his smoothie there, snuggling up next to him as I sip my own. 

I spend some time playing with Jax, but then decide to start packing for the trip to the cabin. Joel had wanted us all to go for his birthday so I packed up some things for the 3 of us, scanning the cabinets and tossing some small snacks into our snack bag. We’ll have to stop at the store on the way. When Tommy doesn’t show up for dinner that night, I start to worry. He usually calls when he’s running late, although he was trying to close that deal today. I just tuck Jax into bed when suddenly, my phone rings and I rush to pick it up. 

“Hello?”

“Hey darlin’.” Tommy sounds apologetic and I sigh.

“You’re going to be extra late, aren’t you?”

He sighs into the phone. “Yeah. I mean, we closed the deal with the Riveras.”

“That’s great news!”

“It is. But since it’s Joel’s birthday, I told him I’ll take the Riveras out to celebrate the closing deal so he can go home to Sarah.”

“You’re a good brother.”

“The best. ‘M sorry, darlin’. You’ll be ok to pack by yourself?”

“Of course. I’ll pack your bag for you too.”

“Thanks. I’ll have to make it up to you this weekend.”

“I can think of a few ways you can do that.”

Tommy clears his throat and I realize he must not be alone in the room. “I can’t wait. Gotta go. Love you. Kiss Jax goodnight for me.”

“I will. Love you too.”

I cleaned up the kitchen and packed a bag for him, taking my time in getting ready for bed, intending to wait up for him. But the second I start reading my book, I pass out, book open in my hands. 

Until the screams outside rip me from sleep.

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[fortheloveoffanfic]

Mr. Gallagher and Me

Jim x Reader

Masterlist Playlist Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Summary: Y/n and Jim have their interviews as part of the university's investigation into their relationship, followed by a run-in with Emily. Then, when Y/n doubts their relationship, Jim tries to prove how committed he is. Warnings- a smidge of angst

Mid March “How long have you been involved with Mr. Gallagher?” The woman, her name was Joann, asked, quickly clarifying, “Romantically, of course.”

Swallowing thickly, Y/n picked at her fingernails, keeping her hands clasped in her lap. “About….a year. Yeah, a year.”

Joann scribbled something on the form she was keeping under close guard in a bright red binder. “Okay,” she suspired, “And how did you….” She gestured in a circle with her pen, “Become involved.”

“I asked him out,” Y/n responded without hesitation, willingly neglecting to mention that their agreement had initially been to go out as friends. Sometimes-not that morning-it made her chuckle; one platonic date had somehow led to getting pregnant and looking at houses together.

“And he agreed to go out with a student under his supervision, just like that?” Shit. 

With a sigh, she nervously reached for her glass of water on the desk, bringing it to her rosy lips in a slow sip that she hoped would remedy the sudden dryness in her throat. Since a lie by omission hadn’t worked, she’d have to find a way to use the truth. “No,” Y/n took another sip of her water, “We agreed to go out as friends at first. But I never wanted to be friends, so I….invited him back to my apartment.”

“To have sex?” Y/n gasped at her bluntness, though, she supposed that it was pretty obvious that they were in fact very intimate.

“Well, I obviously didn’t suggest it just like that, but it was implied, yes,” she determined firmly. And when Joann asked if Jim had agreed, Y/n’s answer a brief one, and that time, she omitted the bit about actually going back to his place instead that night-it didn’t seem relevant anyway. 

“Would you say that there’s a power imbalance in your relationship with Mr. Gallagher?”

“Imbalance?” Y/n scoffed, “No, I wouldn’t.”

“Would you care to elaborate?” Joann sighed, practically trying to siphon anything she could out of her with a cocktail straw, “There have never been any situations where you felt like Mr. Gallagher used his authority over you to control certain aspects of your relationship?”

Sighing heavily, Y/n begrudgingly relented, “Jim and I……I was in a really bad relationship before I came to Ireland. His name is probably in your file,” she gestured to one of the folders next to Joann’s binder, “He was…” Y/n shook her head and furrowed her brows, just as the bitter memories threatened to burn her eyes, “Controlling, and manipulative. There were a lot of things that I wouldn’t have done if we’d stayed together. I actually came here to get away from him," briefly,she glanced down at her lap before looking at Joann again. "The point is, I know what a power imbalance looks like, and there has never been one in my relationship with Jim; he has always been patient and kind and supportive. I don’t think I ever realized what it was like to be in a healthy relationship until we got together.” 

After making a few other notes on her page, Joann studied Y/n for a moment, and just when she thought it was over, the smartly dressed HR official asked a question that surprisingly, threw her for a loop; “What was Mr. Gallagher’s reaction to your pregnancy?” 

Smoothing her hands over her burgeoning bump, Y/n felt a patter of strong kicks against her palms, the sensation making it hard to restrain her faint smile. But she managed. “He was angry,” she began honestly, “But not because I was-am-pregnant. He was mad because I wasn’t going to tell him, well, I wasn’t gonna tell him that he’s the father. Which was wrong, I get that. But I also didn’t want something like this,” she gestured between herself and the middle aged woman,  “To happen. I was trying to protect him. But he didn’t want that and he was mad because he couldn’t stand the thought of me, or our daughter,” she ducked her head for a moment, glancing absently at her stomach, then lifting her head again,  “Thinking that he didn’t love us enough to risk it.” 

After that, came questions pertaining to their living arrangements and whether or not Jim had been involved in her pregnancy. With complete truthfulness, Y/n responded quickly, eager to just get the interview over with. She hated that their relationship had come under fire, and she hated even more that it was in such a scandalous way. When the interrogation was through, Y/n pushed herself out of the chair, ignoring Joann’s offer to answer any questions that she had, instead eagerly heading for the door.  

As expected, Jim was seated in one of the uncomfortable chairs that lined the opposing side of the hallway, with her coat draped on one of his thighs and her handbag settled in his lap. “Hey,” he stood quickly, gathering her things in one arm so he could use his free hand to affectionately cup her cheek, his thumb quickly swiping away a stray tear, “How’d it go? Are you okay?” His concern was overwhelmingly evident and the fact that he cared that much made Y/n want to cry even more. 

“Yeah,” Y/n sniffled, relenting easily when Jim’s arm slid over her shoulder and around to the back of her neck so he could pull her in for a hug. “I’m just glad its over, you know?”

“I know, sweetheart,” he kissed the crown of her head, “Now we’ve just gotta wait. It’s gonna be over before you know it.

Sniffing quietly, she circled her arms around his mid, holding him as close as her bump would allow, “I just hope it works out,” she sighed, eventually pulling away so their  eyes could meet. 

“It will,” he promised, as if he could already tell, and even if he couldn’t Y/n found herself willing to believe Jim anyway. She trusted him. Of course, she was still upset about everything that had happened that morning, especially since some of the more unscrupulous accusations had stuck- she knew that they weren’t true, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t bothered. 

How could they accuse him of something like that?

How could they accuse her of something like that? 

“Come on,” he eventually encouraged, breaking their embrace in favor of helping Y/n into her coat and then taking her hand to lead her out of the building. 

With their fingers laced, they strolled towards the elevator; neither of them thought that it mattered if they hid on campus anymore, anyone that was important knew and they were already in trouble anyway, so it couldn’t possibly get worse. It was actually very freeing, being able to be together without having to look over their shoulders and while Y/n was still terribly scared of what their futures might hold, she was happy that at the very least, they could share little moments without hiding, like regular couples.

The elevator had taken a while before it got to their floor, though, when the doors slid open, Y/n gasped loudly. She’d have actually preferred if it would have taken longer if she’d known she was going to be face to face with her. Inhaling deeply, Y/n took an unconscious step back and she felt Jim’s grip on her hand tighten protectively. “Emily,” she gritted.

“Y/n, Mr. Gallagher,” she nodded to them both, maintaining her usual snark, then, with a purposeful sigh, she inched closer and offered; “You think you’re doing yourself a favor,” she met Y/n’s hardened gaze with sharp, dagger eyes, “But you’re not, this isn’t over yet.”

Before Y/n could respond, Jim was guiding her away from Emily, though not before stepping close to her ear, and hissing angrily, “Yes, it is.” That was all he’d offered, though the venom in his tone was crippling. With that, they stepped into the elevator and simultaneously, Emily stepped out.  As they slunk into the elevator, and the doors closed, Jim hit the appropriate button and then asked if she was okay. Y/n had promised that she was, and while it did take a couple more rounds, she was eventually able to placate him. 

“They must be interviewing her today too,” Y/n eventually sighed, side stepping closer to Jim so she could lean her head against his side while he brought an arm around the small of her back, “What do you think she’ll say?”

Jim scoffed, “Probably the worst things she can think of.” The entire experience had been so profoundly upsetting that all Y/n could think of was getting home and crawling back into bed, preferably to sleep away the memories of what had felt like a police interrogation. “Hey,” he smoothed his palm over her back as they eventually emerged from the building, after she’d lapsed into contemplative silence once more, “Do you want to talk about what happened up there?”

Y/n sighed, “No? Yes…..I don’t know,” she shook her head and Jim cuddled her closer as the crossed the walkway, headed towards the parking lot, “You’re probably right, it’ll work out,” she bent her head, regarding the wet, weather-worn asphalt as they walked. It had rained all night into the wee hours of that morning, and while the weather had mostly taken a turn for the better, some gray-ish clouds had still lingered and the occasional puddle had them walking in zig-zags.

“Yeah,” he kissed the top of her head, “But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be upset about it,” Jim sighed, getting his keys out of his coat pocket, he pressed the button that would disengage the alarm and unlock the car. They went to the passenger side first, where Jim opened the door for Y/n and helped her inside. Seconds later, he rounded the car and slipped into his own seat, holding off on starting the car in hopes that she’d open up. 

“I just….I know its not true, but I guess it made me think about everything my parents…” But specifically her mother, “Said. She asked…..if I felt like you got me pregnant on purpose. Obviously I said no, and reminded her that you didn’t even want any more kids before this. And then she asked….” Sighing again, Y/n shook her head, “She asked if I got pregnant on purpose to…..make you stay with me and get me favors at the university,” Joann’s words had actually been far more professional but they had pretty much the same meaning. 

Picking at the hem of her blouse, Y/n shook her head, “I know that you’re all in and we've talked about this so many times, but you don’t feel like I did this on purpose, right?”

“Of course not!” Shifting in his seat, Jim reached for her face, “I know you and I know you wouldn’t…..baby trap me," he cringed, seeming uncomfortable with the term- or maybe just the thought that she would do that. "Look,” he sighed, “She asked me the same thing; if I thought you got pregnant on purpose and there was no doubt in my mind when I said ‘no.’ I know little Jellybean was an accident,” he chuckled softly and she flashed him a brief, watery smile, “The happiest accident of my life.”

“And you never felt pressured to do….anything that you have for me because of the baby? I know you said you’re excited and we’ve been talking about buying a house and god,” she scoffed, barely keeping her emotions at bay, “You’ve been so amazing. But you’re so nice; I don’t want you to lose everything and then look back on things one day and realize that the only reason you did any of this is because you feel like you had to.”

Licking his lips, Jim’s blue eyes dimmed sympathetically and he used his thumbs to brush her hot tears away. His lips quivered and he seemed at a loss for words at first, until he eventually offered, “Even without this job, I do have everything. I have my kids- all three of them,” he chuckled softly, rousing another smile, “I have the woman I love,” he shrugged, “That’s everything to me.” 

“But I just-”

“Shh,” he leaned in, pressing his lips to hers. Easily, Y/n responded, lifting one hand to cup his neck. “Marry me,” he elicited softly when they broke for air, foreheads still close together. 

“What?” She knitted her brows, both confused and startled by his impromptu proposal. She wasn’t even sure if she’d heard him right. 

Jim chuckled, pulling away, “I can't think of a better way to show you that I’m choosing our life-not being forced into it- than giving you this ring,” after a moment of rummaging through his pocket, he produced a little, forest green, leather box with a tiny clasp holding it closed, “That I’ve been carrying around everyday since Valentine’s Day.” As she opened her mouth to protest, Jim intervened, “I didn’t buy this ring for just anybody, Y/n. I don’t wanna buy a house or have a baby with just anybody. Marry me, let me show you that I mean that, everyday.”

Sniffling, she nodded, “I’d love to marry you.” When Jim flicked the box open, revealing a stunning, elegantly  dainty ring, she gasped. It was the most beautiful engagement ring she’d ever seen; an oval diamond fitted to thin, gold, Celtic diamond encrusted bands. With shaking hands, he slipped the ring onto the appropriate finger, the cool metal  making her skin tingle. “I…..” She sighed, gaze flickering between the ring and Jim while a flood of conflicting emotions overwhelmed her. Y/n was overjoyed to be engaged, she  was still scared for their future at Trinity and now she was both embarrassed and frustrated with herself for doubting Jim once again. It wasn’t fair that she kept doubting him, not when he’d been nothing short of a product of her wildest dreams. “Ugh,” she sniffed, and Jim once again reached over to brush her tears away, “I’m sorry I keep….” Y/n shook her head and rolled her bleary eyes, “I keep doubting you. It must be so annoying,” she scoffed, still upset with herself, “I’m acting like such a baby.”

Leaning across, Jim kissed both of her tear stained cheeks before capturing her lips, “You’re not,” he promised, “Its been a rough few weeks and the way you feel could never be annoying to me.”

Y/n chortled softly through the tears, “I swear its the baby’s fault,” then, when Jim laughed off her comment, Y/n took a moment to let the events of the last fifteen minutes or so sink in, a brighter smile creeping to her cheeks, “We’re getting married,” she laughed. 

Jim grinned broadly, “We are,” he caught her lips again in an impassioned endearment, “Why don’t we go for lunch to celebrate, whatever you want.”

“Uh….pizza?” She suggested, without even giving it a second thought. 

“You wanna celebrate getting engaged with pizza?” He chuckled, eventually settling into his seat and getting the car started, “We had pizza last night,” and the day before, for lunch- Jellybean had recently decided that pizza was the only thing worth eating. 

Pouting as she got her seat belt buckled, Y/n glanced over at Jim, “We can get something else, you’re probably sick of it.” 

“Eh,” he shook his shoulders, smoothly backing out of the parking spot then shifting gears before turning towards the exit, “I did say whatever you wanted,” and maintaining one hand on the wheel, Jim reached over and touched the top of her stomach, “And my girls want pizza, so we’re having pizza.” 

Laughing softly, she shook her head, the worries she’d had earlier slowly fading to the back of her mind. They’d still creep out every now and then, until she and Jim were given the concrete results of the investigation, but in that moment, Y/n much preferred just enjoying the rest of their day as a newly engaged couple. 

After a very full day, and an evening spent at a local restaurant with his kids to announce their engagement, Y/n and Jim had opted to retire earlier than usual that night. Though, the prospect of sleep, despite the two of them being bone tired, was not immediate; she still wanted to video call with Elaine to share the exciting news and Jim had been adamant on upholding his promise to read to their daughter every night- that night, they were on chapter three of  Black Beauty. 

As Jim laid propped on his elbow, face close to her stomach and glasses slid down to his nose a bit, he held the book open in front of him, occasionally reeling it in closer to his chest so he could lean over and kiss her stomach. Meanwhile Y/n was slouched against a mass of pillows packed against the headboard, her phone resting on the swell of her cute bump as she waited for Elaine to pick up the call. 

“Hey mama!” She beamed as she answered, and by the looks of her background, Y/n could tell that her friend was sat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen of the apartment that they formerly shared, “What’s up? I saw your text about big news when I was about to leave the hospital.

“Oh it’s nothing,” Y/n waved dramatically, ensuring the camera picked up on her subtle- but still obvious-  show of  the gorgeous ring. “I just-”

“Wait,” Elaine cut her off, “Was that a rock on your finger? Let me see it!” She demanded enthusiastically. Biting back a fit of bubbly laughter, Y/n raised her left hand in front of the phone, properly displaying her engagement ring that time. “Oh. My. God!” Elaine squealed after a few seconds spent staring at it, “No way, No. Way! When? How? Where? Tell me everything.” Shifting against the pillows to get more comfortable, all while Jim read softly, with his lips close to her stomach, Y/n threaded her fingers through his hair while recounting the story to Elaine.

The more she thought about it, the more Y/n adored Jim’s proposal- with the exception of her spell of insecurity towards the beginning- it was everything she could want in a proposal. Quiet, casual and private. No fuss, no people around them clapping and asking if they wanted pictures taken, no huge grand gesture that cost way too much, just Jim promising to love her for the rest of their lives and her, saying that she’d do the same. 

“Ugh,” Elaine moaned and pouted, “That is so cute! Is he there? Don’t lie to me, I can hear him reading,” she teased, and laughing softly, Y/n turned the phone so Elaine could talk to Jim, “Hi baby daddy!” 

Jim chuckled, propping himself a little higher on his elbow while resting the book, open to his current page, face down on the bed behind him. “Hi Lainey,” he grinned, shaking his head, “You’d think I’d be more than ‘baby daddy’ after today.”

“Oh no, you’ve gotta marry her first. Then maybe, I’ll reconsider. But you did good with the ring,” she praised, 

“Thanks,” he laughed. They didn’t talk for very long, but as usual, it was nice knowing that two people that were so important to her could get along so easily, When Y/n turned the phone back, She and Elaine chatted for a while again, before something in the background beeped, presumably the oven, and Y/n yawed, a tell tale sign that it was time to shut everything off. They said good byes and exchanged ‘I love you’s and by the time they were through and Y/n was shifting to put her phone down, Jim was also marking the page of his book. 

“I think she likes this one,” he noted causally, kissing her bump before scooting up towards his pillow. 

“She likes everything that you read to her,” Y/n giggled, still propped against the mass of pillows behind her. Then, smoothing her hands over her stomach, she added, “She just loves hearing her daddy.”

Jim grinned broadly, “She’s a daddy’s girl already- I love it.” When she started sifting lower, Jim helped her get her collection of pillows organized; a couple under her head, one framing her stomach and another between her legs, joking at some point that there were more pillows on the bed than people.

“She needs a name,” he declared after they’d turned off the lights and got settled in their usual spooning position; her back pressed to his chest when one of his arms remained draped over her middle.

“She has a name,” Y/n noted sleepy, resting one hand over his. 

“We call her Jellybean. She needs a real name…..like Eleanor.”

“Or Sarah,” Y/n countered. She actually hadn’t given very much thought to a name since she’d gotten pregnant, but always had a few names stowed away in her mind that she simply liked– none of them was Eleanor. 

Jim emitted a soft sound of disagreement, “Or…..something that’s not Sarah.”

Y/n scoffed through a yawn, “You don’t like Sarah?”

“Well, it doesn’t exactly sound like you like Eleanor.” 

“Touche,” she chortled softly, yawning, "I am too tired to talk about this,” Y/n declared not long after, shutting her eyes. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he kissed the back of her head, then added, “Goodnight Eleanor.”

“Jim!” Y/n warned firmly, eyes still shut. 

She could hear his grin when he corrected himself, “Fine. Goodnight Jellybean.” 

[melodyvsthesea]

Worst things I ever did

1. Once i dove into a strangers truck in the back and when they confronted me I accidentally spilled cool ranch Doritos in there and then ran away

2. I burned a hole in my mattress and some unreplaceable photos and it set off the smoke detector so I started pouring water all over the floors. Then when the fire fighters got there I admitted everything instead of telling them I was just cooking and it got Smokey

3. I flashed my lady bits to a group of EMT’s while claiming that I was Rick Sanchez and Albert Einstein. And I believed it too and I told them while pointing at my vagina “is this what you want” then let them take me to the hospital only after my roommate convinced me

4. I kept everyone wide awake yelling that I hate all of them (my exes family) for two nights straight

5. I had sex in a park with a guy I met on tinder at 2 am and a guy with a dog walked by but I kept riding him

6.I had a meltdown about catching HIV on two separate occasions (I didn’t have it). I sent essay paragraphs to people I had sex with, freaking out about it

7. I told a guy I wouldn’t have sex with him because we were both the same mix of race and it would be too “meta”. The truth was I just didn’t want to do it because my mother was in the other room

8. I walked out of my house a few times in the middle of the night with no pants because I was sleep deprived and paranoid

9. I had such loud sex with my ex girlfriend in our apartment that several people complained and one even mocked us to our face and said we “moaned better than hookers”. One of the complaints was from a mother of 3.

10. I convinced my ex girlfriend to go to another country and give her child away to the baby daddy so we could be free because we were broke and stressed and the kid wouldn’t eat so I thought she would get worse.

11. I lived with my exes family for 6 months and didn’t pay rent nor did I look for a job until I thought my visa was expiring at the last minute. I let my ex not work too and we’d eat takeout a lot and go on dates using the grandparents money.

12. I’ve made my mother cry several times by saying she was the worst mother ever, but I’ve heard of worse.

13. I have led on and the blocked countless men. I have cursed out so many people too and destroyed their character with words. There are many who can’t stand me due to this.

14. I am very easy and slutty. I’ve given head to about 40 people, kissed 100+, and had normal sex with 30+. I swallowed every time too. It’s a miracle I never have gotten and std

15. I slapped my girlfriend twice while in severe psychosis and mania. I also choked her when she said she looked down on me for not getting a college degree. Now we still talk idk how

16. I slept with my friend of many years bf because she had always been mean to me and calling me ugly every day. I did it intentionally to hurt her feelings.

17. I took LSD with a guy I had only known for a year and I killed a huge insect in the sink while high and I could feel it hurting but I kept flushing it down the sink with water.

18. In kindergarten a bunch of me peers decided to dogpile on top of each other. I said I wanted to join but I was tall and they said no. So I jumped on all of them with my full weight because I was angry that I was being excluded. It hurt some of the kids and I got in trouble. When the principal asked why I did it I lied and said I didn’t know what would happen, but I definitely knew.

19. I’ve crawled on the ground sexily in the mental hospital and even kissed a man (consensual) that was a stranger, had sex with a stranger there, and kissed another guy (non consensually) with my COVID mask on and then apologized.

20. I riled up a very strong tall man in the mental hospital so much that he threw a chair at the window.

21. I pretended to be about to jump out of my sisters car so she would take me to the ER.

[i-like-turkey]

What my mom says: “your furniture is 10 years old. I’d rather we leave it and buy new stuff. Finish your cost estimates, but that’s my preference.”

What my mom means: you have the most uncomfortable couch I’ve ever had the misfortune of sitting on. I hated it when you bought it for your first post grad school year in that tiny studio apartment and I hated it when you bought an identical one following your move West. I want to take an axe to it when I arrive in August.

Jokes on her though cause I’m just going to buy something similar if we leave it.

Tbh it’s a bad couch. More of love seat. I’m tiny—height wise at least cause 💪🏼—and I can’t fully stretch out on it. But I like it because my feet can hit the ground when I sit down, it doesn’t hurt my back (fucked that up playing sports), and it leaves me more room in my small apartment for home gym activities and playing with my pup. My new place is smaller. No way I get a full size couch.

[robynlilyblack]

Always Yours

Remus x Fem! Potter! Reader, Remus x Fem! Werewolf! OC

[No Voldemort AU]

Summary: Y/n Potter has been in love with Lupin for years, but what happens when another girl with scars shows up at the beginning of their final year

Warnings: Swearing, insinuations of sex, switching povs, first time posting, the OC’s name is Jill sorry to anyone called Jill x

Masterlist

y/n’s pov

I’ve been friends with the famous marauders since 1st year, but I was never one myself, despite, figuring out Remus’s furry little problem before anyone else. Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, Alice and I all share a dorm, they all knew too, of course we never said anything, agreeing to all act semi shocked when or if the time came Remus wanted to tell us. Around 4th year my friendship with Remus had bosomed into something wonderful, of course on my side it had developed into more than just a childhood crush, and for a while I thought he felt the same.

Over the summer of our 5th year, I found James’ notes on becoming an animagus. I didn’t confront him about it, in fact I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it first, I copied his notes and then when I got back to Hogwarts I enlisted the girls help in becoming one. Lily surprisingly was on board, to which Marlene was so proud, as her attempts at corrupting lily and getting her to break rules had worked. Alice and Dorcas were on board too, Dorcas had mentioned she had wanted to become one too but she was going to wait until summer or after graduation as the idea of not being able to talk was going to be too hard, not to mention suspicious, since she was a chatter box. For me I was quite reserved in general, so not talking was going to be fine.

I managed to succeed on my third attempt, the first one was ruined when Marlene had run directly into me causing both of us to fall and me to almost choke to death on the leaf. The second attempt was when I was sipping some water and lily had told us that she may or may not have started to fancy James, to wish I spat out the water and the leaf, and honestly, I wasn’t even mad. Despite James being a bit of a prat, I had heard the way he’d gush to our parents about her, how beautiful she was becoming, swearing every year she got prettier, how smart she was, kind, the list goes on. Me and the rest of the girls shipped the two so hard, myself especially, since over the years I felt like Lily was already the sister I had never had.

Eventually I was successful, becoming the most, in Lily’s words ‘adorable little fox the world had seen’, especially since I wasn’t just a regular fox I was an arctic fox. That night I ran around our dorm in my form, Alice thought it was meant to be, since my form looked like a miniature wolf.

Around the same time, we had figured out my brother and his friends were successful. It didn’t take us long to decipher the ‘codenames’, my brother was a deer, Sirius was a dog, Peter must have been some kind of rodent, we guessed a rat and well, Remus’ name was a little on the head but cute none the less.

By the end of our sixth year, Remus and I were the closest we’d ever been, and I was sure he would tell me his secret before we graduated, especially after James had asked all of our friends to stay over that summer, since it was the ‘last summer’ together. Lily and James had finally started dating, the two were so in love they gave Marls and Dorcas a run for their money. Remus and I had a few moments but we were always interrupted, and I could honestly say I was more in love with him that I had ever been. Our last year was looking like the best one ever, how wrong I was.

She showed up, me and lily noticed it right away, she had the same scars as Remus. My brother and friends noticed it too, being the first to introduce her. Her name was Jill, transfer from beubaxtions, utterly gorgeous and had every guy drooling on the first day, Dorca actually hit Marlene and refused to talk to her after she had caught Marlene staring at her ass. Over time she became a part of our group, at first nothing seemed different but then the dynamic started to shift. Jill started sitting in my spot next to Remus at meals, Remus stopped talking to me as much, and he and the other boys had more shushed conversations.

It all came to a heart shattering moment one Saturday in the library. Peter, Sirius, James and me were all studying, well, me and Pete were, James and Sirius were coming up with their big end of year prank. Everything was going fine until they walked in, hand in hand. My heart dropped, the lump in my throat only grew when I was the hickey on his neck. No one else had spotted them yet. They were in their own little world as they sat down, by this time I had decided to pretend I was too engrossed in my book to see them.

Jill greeted us “Hi boys, y/n”

I let out a small hi back, scared if I said anything else I would break down, refusing to look up from my book. The boys said hi back but I did hear Sirius sigh, he really didn’t like her, for whatever reason but he was civil I assumed for Remus’s sake. I couldn’t sit there anymore, watching her giggle and whisper in his ear, so I started to pack my stuff away.

“Sis where are you going?” James asked, frowning

“Oh, I’m finished notes so I’m going to see if Lily’s finished with her thing”

After putting my stuff in my bag, I turned and left giving a general smile before turning to leave. Everyone gave a general nod in acknowledgement, well except Remus and Jill, they hardly noticed me leave which only shattered my heart more. Sirius gave me a sad smile, I always had a feeling he knew I was in love his friend.

I practically ran to my dorm, trying to get there before the tears could uncontrollably flow. I never cried in public, in general I never cried from sadness often. I cried at movies lily would make us watch but everyone knew if I was crying for real something was very wrong. Last time I had cried in front of someone it was the night Sirius showed up at our door, the night he ran away, telling us everything, what had killed me was when he started crying himself, the boy that was always full of laughter and fun breaking down in front of me.

When I opened the door, the girls were already there giggling about something, but as soon as they saw me the all looked concerned. I collapsed to the floor, unable to keep back my sobs.

“Y/n” Lilly asked kneeling in front of me

The other girls had moved, now sitting on the edge of the nearest bed to the door

“Remus and Jill…they...they’re together” I managed to get out

Lilly instantly engulfs me into a hug, Alice moved to wrap an arm around me, the other softly playing with my hair. After sometime, I was sitting on Lily’s bed, as she rubbed my back, I explained what happened in the library. The girls had noticed the distance between Remus and I but they hadn’t expected him to start dating her.

“I can’t believe it” Dorca sighed

“I always thought it be you and him” Alice said sadly

“Me to” I said

Remus never dated, I knew why, his furry little problem. I knew he would be afraid of hurting them, but after years of his friends helping him, I thought maybe he’d take a chance or at least tell me so I could tell him I loved him, and I didn’t mind, that I loved every part of him even the part he thought was a monster. But now that was just a fantasy.

“I’m so stupid”

“You aren’t stupid…” Lily starts but I cut her off

“I am! Of course, he chose her. She’s perfect, and beautiful in every way, not only that but she understands Rem on a level I never could. I’m an idiot because I’ve loved him all these years, becoming an animagus, slipping healing spells and potion recipes that would help to the boys even making them think they found it, I’ve loved him all of these years, been there by his side and I wasn’t even an option. If he did love me he would have told me, all these years I thought we had this unspoken mutual love for one another but now…” I start to tear up as speak, my heart crushing with the realisation. “… now I know I’m nothing more to him that his best friends’ sister”

Lily’s pov

I told the girls I was going to go tell James I couldn’t make our date tonight while the girls comforted y/n. In reality I was about to go rip my boyfriend a new one. I was so angry, I could believe Rem would date Jill, she was horrible, she hid it in front of the boys but we knew, me, Marlene and Dorca, y/n and Alice were too nice to ever admit she was a bitch, metaphorically and literally.

I spotted them in the library, I marched towards them, I could tell by Peters’ face he knew I was angry.

“James Fleamont Potter” I said standing right behind him

Everyone turned to look, all shocked, I wasn’t mad often but when I was merlin help the poor sod on the other end. In this case merlin help James and Sirius.

“Ooo someone’s in trouble, she middle named you” Sirius teased but I was having none of it

“Don’t you start, Sirius Orion Black” I pointed at the boy

Sirius shut up, I refused to even acknowledge Remus and that bitch.

“Both of you, hallway now!” I said turning around marching back out.

Third person pov

James and Sirius looked at each other scared before swiftly standing and following the redhaired girl out. Leaving a very confused Peter, Remus and Jill.

“Hi sweetie” James said timidly, trying to scrub his brain for a reason she could be mad

“How could you not tell me!” Lilly half shouted at the two of them

“Tell you what?” the boys answered, completely confused

“Jill and Remus” Lily stated

“Wait what?” James answered, even more confused

“You could have given me a heads up!”

“Why would you care who Moony dates?” James states completely bewildered why his girlfriend was so upset

Before Lily can answer Sirius speaks up

“She wouldn’t, but y/n would” his voice was small, Lily could hear the sadness in his voice

“Why would my sister care?” the boy looks between the two, Lily and Sirius just tilt their heads to almost say really

“Because she’s in love with him” James answers himself, closing his eyes, annoyed at himself he hadn’t seen it.

He turns to Lily “Where is she?”

“Our dorm”

Without another word James leaves, heading straight to his sister.

Sirius and Lily stare at each other for a moment

“You knew she loved him?”

“I had my suspicions, you have to understand Red that Remus did…hell still does love her, he’s just never done anything because well she’s prong’s sister and he was terrified she’d hate him if she found out about well you know”

“Sirius, she knew”

“What?”

“She always knew Sirius, she figured it out by the end of our third year, all of our dorm knew, and I just acted surprised when Jamie told me.” She takes a deep breath “Sirius she even stole your notes on becoming an animagus”

Sirius closed his eyes, he saw y/n as the sister he never had, of course she knew he thought, she was smarter than all of them combined. He looked back up when she said animagus. “she didn’t, did she” he said, he couldn’t believe y/n would do that for Remus.

“Yeah, took a few attempts but she got there”

The conformation only made Sirius heart shatter for her. In truth he always wanted them to get together, he had begged Remus just to tell her, but his self-hatred always got in the way. When Jill showed up he was happy Remus had someone that understood but after a few weeks, he hated her with a burning passion. Jill had asked if Remus was seeing anyone, to which the raven-haired boy had told her that he and y/n were close, and implied something was between them. After that it was almost as if Jill had made it her personal mission to cut out y/n, sitting in her spot, pulling Remus away from them all the time, the list went on. He held his tongue though, his friend seemed happy, and it wasn’t everyday he had a fellow wolf who understood. But the anger in him was growing now, he knew at some point he was going to snap.

Over the next month, James and Sirius had helped keep y/n’s mind off of happy couple, Sirius even making up a little signal she could give him if she was uncomfortable. The plan was working, y/n heart was still shattered, but her friends helped ease the pain a bit. James ran into the dorm that day and hugged her telling her it was okay that he would hex him if she wanted, anything she needed, which made her laugh.

Near the end of November, it was announced a ball would take place for 5th years and up. Y/n was sure the universe just wanted to rub it in her face. Of course, Jill and Remus were going together, and all her other friends had dates, Lily with James, Alice with Frank, Marlene with Dorca, hell, even Peter had a date. Marlene had told her to go with Jacob Greenglass, one of the kinder Slytherins, not to mention incredibly good looking and y/n’s old Astronomy partner, but she refused. In her mind she didn’t want to be that girl, she wouldn’t use Tim.

Sirius could get any girl he wanted, but he knew y/n had no date nor was she looking to get one. A week before the ball Sirius came up to her and asked her to go as friends, he didn’t fancy having to spend a whole evening with one of his fan girls and that way they could all hang out as friends, y/n agreed, thankful that at least she wouldn’t be without a partner and Sirius was always good fun.

Before asking her, Sirius had actually asked James’ permission in front of Peter, who of course blabbed to Remus. Sirius knew y/n wouldn’t try to make him jealous she wasn’t that person, but he was, he was gonna make Remus see that he’s the biggest idiot in the world.

y/n’s pov

Sirius and I were making our way into the great hall, along with Marlene and Dorcas, the others were already there is Marlene had chosen the most intrigue fiddley lace back dress known to wizard, it took the three of us an hour to lace up. Dorcas told Marlene that she would be cutting her out of it at the end of the night, to which Siri joked how kinky it sounded.

When I looked in the mirror I felt so beautiful wearing a y/f/c dress that matched my hair and skin perfectly. Marlene and Dorca thought I looked gorgeous, Dorcas even joking she would leave Marls if I ever backed for the other team. Sirius said I looked beautiful as we walked in, it helped having him here, ever since he came to live with my family it was like I had another brother.

We approached the others, all looking great in their formal dress, Remus looked so handsome, ugh why did he have to look so perfect.

“Looking good sis” James said smiling, arm around Lily, who winked at me mouthing ‘looking hot’, I winked back mouthing ‘speak for yourself’. Me and Lily always flirted with each other, it started off as a way to annoy James, but it morphed into how we hyped each other up.

“Thanks” I said shyly, I wasn’t used to this, I never really dressed up.

“Love your dress” Jill said, looking me up and down, although it looked like she was going to eat me. Wait, am I allowed to say that or is that offensive to werewolves? It’s Jill, fuck it doesn’t matter.

“Umm thanks”

I couldn’t look at Rem, luckily Dumbledore was ready to make his speech. As he was talking a looked over at Jill, she was in a red, deep v line dress, she looked perfect. I looked down at myself, suddenly I didn’t feel as pretty anymore. Shaking my thoughts away before I decided to just run away I tuned back into Dumbledore’s speech.

Remus’ pov

As Dumbledore was making his speech I couldn’t help but look at y/n. Merlin, she looked gorgeous, she always did though, the way she’d use her wand to put her hair in a bun while we studied, or how she’d bite her lip when she was thinking, she was perfect, and yet she wasn’t even my date. I can’t believe Sirius asked her, I know they’re just going as friends but I can’t help think it should have been me.

I saw her looking at Jill, before frowning looking down at herself. Wait no don’t do that, I wanted to grab her and tell her she looks beautiful, to stop comparing herself but before I could even think of something to say she was being pulled away. Dumbledore had finished his speech, Jill was dragging me to the dance floor, in the corner of my eye I could see y/n laughing with Sirius. Godric I missed her laugh, I don’t think I’ve heard it in so long. Then it dawned on me, when was the last time I actually spoke to y/n?

y/n’s pov

The night was going surprisingly well, Sirius had kept me on the dance floor most of the time, making me laugh with his horrendous dancing. At the moment I was stood alone on the edge of the dance floor, Sirius had gone to the toilet, as he had left a slow dance came on. I watched the couples dancing, I started smiling seeing Lily lay her head on my brother chest, they were so perfect together. My eyes drifted through the couples until they stopped on the one pair I didn’t want to see. My heart clenched watching the sway to the music, I thought for a second Jill had caught my eye so I looked away. I wish I hadn’t looked back a few seconds later, they were kissing, his arms moving down to her waist.

Sirius’ pov

Merlin and girls complain the line to their bathroom is long. As I walk back in I spot y/n in the same place I left her. As I approach I see tears in her eyes, I follow her gaze to see Remus and Jill dancing, I stop when I see y/n look away. Looking back over I see Jill had caught y/n staring, looking at me she smiles over Remus’ shoulder in that cold-hearted way before pulling him into a kiss. She’s doing it on purpose, that bitch! I’m going to kill her, actually I’m going to kill both of them, but right now I need to make sure y/n’s okay.

Remus’ pov

I pull away from the kiss. As the song finishes, Jill tells me she off to get a drink. I look over to see most of my friends distracted by some story James is telling, my gaze falls towards the door, what the fuck! Sirius had his arm around y/n leading her out of the great hall, kissing her forehead. I hoped they were just going for some air, but then he turned right, I knew where he was going, there old broom closet he told us was perfect to take girls to. Hell no, I follow them out, delayed slightly by crowds starting to dance again

Sirius’ pov

I took y/n to a broom closet I knew well, okay maybe it was the place I took girls to shag but no one would disturb us here. We sat on the floor, my arms wrapped around her and let her cry for a bit,.

“Siri can I show you something?” y/n said after a while, looking up at me, eyes puffy

“Anything love” I smile down at her

She doesn’t say anything, I just see her close her eyes. Suddenly y/n no longer there, a small white fox is in her place. I’m in awe, she looks so cute!

Before I could speak I heard a bang at the door, panicking I pull out my wand muttering a locking spell.

“Occupied” I shout back in hope whoever it is will get the message

“Sirius open this fucking door right now” I heard Remus shout, I look down at y/n who is still a fox, I lean down moving a bit of wood out of the way, me and Pete had found it led to an abandoned hall. I whispered to y/n to go back to the common room and I’d handle him. I saw what looked like an understanding nod, before she scurried through the hole, I moved the bit of wood back, taking a deep breath before opening the door.

Third person pov

“I swear to Merin…” Remus is cut off by the door opening, revealing Sirius alone.

“Yes?” Sirius asks, the sass in his voice prominent

“Where is she?”

“Who” he plays dumb

“You know exactly who I mean”

“And if she was in there with me, what exactly were you going to do?”

Remus looks taken aback, grimacing at the thought of them together “Because…Because…”

“Because what? Why should it matter if I was with her?” Sirius had reached his breaking point. Remus came battering on the door filled with rage, and still he couldn’t see it. He couldn’t see that he was hurting the sweetest girl in the world, a girl that had loved him unconditionally, even now. Safe to say he’d snapped

“You know why it matters to you, because you love her, you always have. Fuck, for years I listened to you, put up with it, because you were too scared James would kill you for crushing on his sister! Guess what Moony, he wouldn’t have fucking cared, only person that was scared was you, I love you man but you have always been in your own way. So scared she’d run away if she…” Before Sirius could continue his rant, he was cut off by Remus

“Found out I was a monster! Fuck I know she wouldn’t be scared; I know she’d accept me. Of course, I do! That’s the problem, if for some slim fucking chance, she liked me back I would be giving her a life a poverty and not to mention I could hurt…”

“You already have”

“Wha…what?” Remus stutters

“You are so oblivious, you’ve been so obsessed with yourself and now Jill to see that you’ve already hurt her in a way no physical wound could compare. She knew Moony, she’s known longer than me, hell she even became a fucking animagus for you so when you told her she could help you. She’s loved you all these years, waiting patiently until youwere ready, waiting for you to let her love you, and what do you do, ignore her for months, not even noticing your so-called girlfriend has been slowly phasing her out of your life, shattering her heart. Merlin if you weren’t my friend I could hit you!”

Remus was speechless, his mind was racing. She loved him, she knew and she still love him, but now he thought over this year, suddenly he saw every fake smile, the way she’d leave when he and Jill would come in, how he’d let Jill sit in her spot practically preplacing her and the fact he hadn’t actually had a conversation with her since early October. Remus was hit with the realisation she was comparing herself to Jill tonight at the ball, he felt like an asshole. He was the worst Gryffindor in history, Sirius was right, he was a coward. He had to make it right

Remus’ pov

I have to find her

“Where is she?” I asked

Sirius sighed “She was headed back to her dorm”

As I turned to leave I heard Sirius say “If you hurt her again I will punch you, James will too, twice cause we both know Pete can’t throw a punch to save him”

I nod, starting to walk quickly to the common room, as I pass the Great Hall Jill runs up to me

“Remmy, where have you been, I as being to wor…” I cut her off I don’t have time for her bullshit

“We’re over”

“What” her innocent expression was gone, her true colours showing through

“We’re over, I love y/n, it’s always been y/n” I didn’t even give her a chance to reply as I was already walking away, I did her a distant huff and a ‘fuck you’ though

y/n’s pov

I changed into my pjs, staring at the mirror, I had finally stopped crying, my eyes were a bit puffy. My eyes were drawn to the door swinging open, in the mirror I was met with Remus staring at me. I turned around to look at him, his eyes were a bit red like he was crying. Without a word he walked right up to me

Third person pov

Remus slammed his lips into y/n’s, her eyes widened, eventually closing as she leaned into the kiss. Remus’ hands gently caressed her cheeks deepening the kiss. Y/n let out a small moan, snapping her out of the daze pulling herself away reluctantly.

He still had his hands on her cheeks, gently rubbing his thumbs over her cheekbones. Y/n was speechless she didn’t know what to say.

“I love you” Remus said looking into her eyes

The girl’s eyes widened in shock

“You love me?” she said, coming out as a question, her voice quiet and unsure

“It’s always been you y/n. I’m so sorry, I was a coward. Sirius told me everything” his eyes started welling up with tears, praying he hadn’t already destroyed his chance to be with her

“What about Jill?” she looked up at him hopefully, she could see in his eyes he was genuine, all she could hope for was that he had chosen her

“I ended it, I only want you” he kisses her forehead “If you’ll have me”

“Can I show you something?” She says stepping back

Remus nods slowly in response. Watching in awe as she shifts into a small white fox, Remus smiles down at her, he knees down to play with the fur. She licks his face, causing the boy to chuckle.

“So beautiful” looking down at her in admiration

y/n shifts back, kneeling next to him. She puts her hand on his cheek, to which he lends into and smiles, closing his eyes to savour the moment

He opens his eyes as she speaks “I’ve always been yours Rem”

He smiles, the girl leans in kissing him again. Remus moves one hand to the back of her neck, the other wraps around her waist to deepen the kiss.

“Fucking finally!”

The two pull apart at James’ comment to see the whole gang peering through the door

“Now, as much as I approve of you two finally getting together, Moony your coming back to our dorm. I don’t need a nephew just…Ow” The group laughs as Lily hits James dragging him to his dorm

“Now where were we” Remus says before kissing her again

[buckyownsmylife]

Worst Behavior - Chris Evans smut

The one where it was supposed to be a sex scene, but Chris fucked you for real - and he didn’t care that your boyfriend was watching

Warnings: infidelity (reader cheats on oc boyfriend with Chris), smut, exhibitionism, public sex, dirty talk, angst.

Word count: 1.7K

A/N: thank you to my ride or die, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ for looking this over and giving me her thoughts about it. Writing is such a better process with you to scream about it!

Chris’ P.O.V.

I was seething when I burst through her trailer’s door, so out of my mind that the sight of her raising a hand over her heart, clearly startled, didn’t make me feel even remotely guilty.

“So this is it, huh? We’re gonna film this one last scene, and then you’ll be back by his side, like you and I were nothing, like I never even mean anything to you.” Somewhere inside my troubled mind, a tiny, still emotionally sober part of me saw her wiping a stray tear after it immediately fell from her eye, clearly not wanting to show this sign of weakness in front of me.

But again, I was too out of it to care. I wanted her to hurt, I wanted her to feel the pain that I was feeling, after all she put me through. How could she expect me to leave this set like I was the same man that met her? She had fundamentally changed me, by showing me how to love and be loved, how it was possible to find in a single person the answer to all of my needs and desires for my future.

I couldn’t just go on pretending I didn’t know what I knew now. But that’s what she intended to do. She wanted to leave and keep living in the pretense that nothing had changed, that she was still in love with the man waiting for her on set.

I knew for a fact that wasn’t the case. I knew it because there was no way my feelings were one-sided, no way everything we had gone through had only mattered that much to me. I knew her, probably better than I knew myself. And I knew this was all just fear and anxiety, clouding her mind and stopping her from going after what she truly wanted.

Unfortunately, the only way I could process these emotions at the moment was through anger.

“Is that how you see me?” Her sweet voice surprised me, I didn’t expect her to actually respond to my hurt-filled accusations. “Do you think I’m that cruel, that I would just be able to… to leave and forget you like this?”

I huffed, too inside my own mind to relent now. Yes, this is how I saw her, at least at that moment. She was the cause of my hurt, because she was the object of my desires.

“You’re doing this out of your own free will,” I reminded her. “Don’t try to pretend you’re just some innocent little victim in all of this. You have our fate in your hands, and you’re deciding to let it all go to waste.”

At the sight of tears rolling down her cheeks, my decision to leave was made even before she ordered me out of her trailer. I couldn’t stand to see her cry, couldn’t deal with the knowledge that I was the cause for it.

So, once again, I turned that distress into anger.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

The air was chilly on set, and the fact that I was practically naked under the robe didn’t help. Neither did the tension between Chris and I. I wanted to make things right, I wanted to reach over and run my hands over his shoulders, relax the muscles I’d come to know so well. But I couldn’t do that right now. Not with my boyfriend watching us.

So I resigned myself to fiddling with my fingers as we waited for the set to be ready. Since it was one of those artistic sex shots, it would be filmed from a distance and there wouldn’t be any lines or sounds that we had to make, just movements to simulate. Which meant that the few people that were allowed to stay on the set had to watch the whole thing unfold from afar, and we would be free to fake having sex while they filmed us.

I don’t think I realized this could very well be the last time I had Chris this close to me until I had his mouth on mine again. I could still feel the emotions from earlier that day right beneath the surface, boiling his blood as he buried his hand on my hair and devoured my lips like he’d done so many times before.

Good thing the scene called for desperation.

I kissed him back just as desperately, wanting to enjoy every second of this experience, even if it wasn’t exactly what I desired at that time. Chris always kissed me so well, guiding me to where he wanted, and in no time at all he had me sprawled on the bed, underneath his larger body. I couldn’t help but to moan lowly when his lips attached themselves to my jaw, and I felt his smirk against my skin.

I couldn’t blame him. The effect he had on me was incomparable. He had every right to be smug about the sounds he could pull from me, Lord knows I’d cried out his name enough times to permanently puncture my own ear drums.

And still, it didn’t seem like it would be enough. The more he touched me - even if it was under a blanket, for a scene - the clearer it became that it could never be enough. I still wanted him. I wanted him forever, in fact.

But just as the realization occurred to me, his thumb slipped over my covered clit, pressing on the little nub and making me jerk away in surprise. “Shhh…” He directed, making sure to cover my face with his bicep so the camera wouldn’t catch my shock. “Just relax so it doesn’t hurt.”

I didn’t understand what he meant until I felt him pulling the flimsy excuse of underwear aside. That’s when my cunt pulsed, just before he positioned his cock and easily slid right into my wetness.

The feeling of his thickness was too much, especially when I wasn’t expecting it. My mouth fell open in a silent gasp, and he moved his arm so the camera could see it, but also turned his head to the other side so they wouldn’t notice his lips moving as he murmured to me, “Careful, sweetheart. Can’t make any real sounds. Not like the ones I usually pull from you. Wouldn’t want your boyfriend to realize that we’re actually doing it, huh?”

Chris’ P.O.V.

My desire for her ran so deep, I could hear my blood pumping in my veins as I fucked her right in front of her boyfriend. Right in front of everyone from the filming crew, for the camera to see.

I took sick pleasure in knowing this moment would be eternalized for history. Everyone would see just how pretty she looks for me and only for me, and no one would ever know the truth.

No one would ever know the truth. That I had her, that she was mine, but only for a bit. That I got to hold her, and have her screaming my name, but I’d never get to hear it again. I’d never get to have her again.

I didn’t want to have to pretend that I forgot it. Like I didn’t know this other side of her, that we never shared these sexual experiences that felt much more intimate than anything I’d ever shared with anyone else before.

It was hard to pretend that I didn’t care underneath the mask of a character that cared too much, because I was that character. I loved this woman just like he did, and I wanted to show her just how much.

I’d looked for her in everyone I’d met before. Slept with so many women, went out on so many dates, and now here she was, clenching around my cock, reaching for my hand and still, she wasn’t mine.

How can you keep looking for the love of your life if you’ve already met them?

And even if there was emotion - and there was so much emotion, ours or of our characters, it didn’t matter anymore - this felt so dirty, dirtier than anything else we’d ever done before.

I’d had her in so many ways, and still, having her now, right in front of him, brought new feelings I never expected to feel. And I couldn’t suffer through them alone. I needed to make sure she’d acknowledged it too.

“He has no idea, you know,” I whispered, low enough so the only person who could hear was her. Her eyes met mine in surprise, but she kept in character, while I took advantage of my position to taunt her more. “No one has. No one knows you only look like this when you have my dick inside of you.”

A moan broke free from her, making me smile inwardly even though I couldn’t smirk like I wanted to. I let go of one of her hands to push a few strands of hair away from her face, so both the camera and I could get a good vision of her expression.

“You’re such a good girl for me, honey. He could never get you like this. Only I can do that.” The way she clawed at my back made it obvious that I was right. And still, the reality of our situation didn’t allow for me to feel any sort of pride in that.

I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want to cum and have to pull out of her, let her go back to him and their life as I was left by myself. “I can’t let you go,” I admitted, and her eyes opened up to meet mine, a slight sparkle of understanding in them. “Not like this,” I continued. “Not ever.”

And still, my hips picked up the pace and brought us to that old familiar high, right when I came to terms with the fact that I’d have to leave her. “Baby,” I whispered, this time knowing the microphone would pick it up.

Our eyes connected once more, but this time, there was mostly pain, from my gaze and from hers. I stood there for as long as I could, thumbs brushing over her cheekbones, until the director’s voice freed us from the scene, and then I was forced to leave.

Before I did though, I had one last thing to say.

“I don’t want to have to miss you.”

One thing was certain. It would be impossible to remain professional during the press conference.

[storiesforallfandoms]

backstage ~ pete davidson

word count: 1960

request?: yes!

“Can you do a Pete Davidson smut on the set of SNL”

description: in which a backstage tour turns into something a little more

pairing: pete davidson x female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut

masterlist (one, two)

“And this is the writer’s room,” Pete said as he led me into a room with a large desk surrounded by multiple chairs. “This is where we come up with the skits and the jokes. There’s John, being the loner he is.”

“You say that like it’s a joke but you’re my best friend so what does that say about you?” John asked, not looking up from his laptop.

Pete chuckled and wrapped an arm around my waist. “Moving on - ”

“Hold on!” I cut him off. “We are not just sweeping past John Mulaney like that. You know how much I love him.”

This made the older comedian look up from his laptop and smile at me. “Oh, I like this girl. She’s got good taste.”

Pete rolled his eyes at the two of us. “You can come back and talk to John before we start filming. This is a big set and I told you I’d show you all of it.”

I playfully pouted at him before waving goodbye to John and continuing to follow Pete through the unfamiliar building.

Pete had been dying to give me a tour of the SNL backstage basically since we had started dating. Our schedules never lined up enough to be able to, but I had finally managed to get a full weekend off and Pete decided to take advantage of that.

The set was much larger than I thought, with every castmate having their own dressing rooms, plus special rooms for the hosts and musical guests. So many rooms for writing and editing, and the massive set where everything was filmed, usually in front of an audience. I didn’t understand how Pete didn’t get lost every day, even if he was familiar with the place.

“And finally,” he said once we neared the end of his tour, “my home away from home.”

He pushed open the door with his name written on a wooden plaque. The room definitely screamed “Pete”. Besides the smell of weed smoke that seemed to linger no matter how long Pete wasn’t there, the room was also littered with little things he liked to have with him at all times: pictures of his dad, his mom, the two of us, little gifts I had always given him for every season premiere, little things from his other friends.

There was a comfortable looking couch along the wall that was begging for me to lay down on it. I sighed in relief the moment my back touched the couch, my legs and feet aching from the heels I decided to wear.

Pete chuckled at my reaction. “I told you to wear something comfortable.”

“And I told you I wanted to make a good impression on your co-stars, which includes a nice outfit.”

I had decided on a long sleeved white shirt and a short, plaid skirt to wear on set, with a pair of black booties that were nice when I put them on, but now that I had been walking around in them for almost an hour I was regretting my wardrobe choices.

Pete smiled and came to lay down on the couch on top of me, his legs between mine and his hands on either side of my head. “Baby, you could wear a garbage bag and everyone here would still be impressed by you.”

“Well, I’ll do that next time then.”

He chuckled and lowered himself so he was kissing me. It was a quick kiss on my lips before he dipped his head to kiss my neck. I giggled as the slight stubble he was starting to grow tickled my neck, followed by a moan as he found the spot on my neck that always drove me wild.

“The skirt does give me some easy access, though,” he mumbled against my neck as one of his hands traced up my bare leg and dipped under my skirt. I gasped as he ran a finger over my clothed clit - or, just barley clothed as I was wearing a G-string. “God, baby, I’ve barley touched you and you’re already soaking wet.”

I moaned as his finger slipped under my G-string and inside of me. He was quick to cover my mouth, a cheeky grin on his face at my reaction.

“You have to be quiet, baby,” he said. “Anyone could come catch us at any time.”

I bit my lip to try and keep quiet as his finger slid in and out of me, first at a slow pace. My moans came out as squeaks and whimpers of pleasure as his pace began to pick up and he slipped another finger into me. I was basically writhing underneath him, which I could tell he was taking a lot of pleasure in.

With two of his fingers in me, he pressed his thumb against my clit and began to rub painfully slow circles, causing my body to arch against him. It was becoming harder to hold back my moans and I had to cover my own mouth with my hand.

“God, this is so fucking dirty,” Pete commented. “Finger fucking my beautiful girl on the couch of my dressing room? Where all my co-workers come in and hang out with me? Man, I’ll never be able to look at this couch the same.”

“It’ll be a nice memory of me,” I said, trying my best to smile up at him but another whimper being let out instead.

“I’ll never not think of you when I’m in this room again,” he confirmed, lowering himself to kiss my neck again.

I was already nearing my climax when Pete’s fingers were removed from my wet core. I looked up at him with puppy dog eyes and my lips pouting. He brought his wet fingers to his lips and took them in his mouth.

“Fuck,” I breathed. I didn’t think it were possible, but I managed to become even more wet at the sight.

“Flip over on your hands and knees baby,” he told me.

I excitedly did as he told me, spinning to be back on to him on my hands and knees. I started reaching for my panties to take them off, but his hand caught hold of my wrists before I could.

“Leave them on,” he said. “I think it’ll be extra hot to fuck you with your skirt and panties still on.”

I nodded excitedly and got back into my position. Pete stood for just a moment, long enough to undo his jeans and let them, and his underwear, fall to the floor. My heart was racing as I felt the couch dip behind me again and Pete pulling my panties to the side as he lined his head up with my entrance.

As he pushed himself inside of me ever so slowly, his other hand came to rest on my back, pushing me down till my head was buried in the couch cushions.

“Best way to keep you quiet,” he said. “I don’t intend to go easy on you.”

“I don’t want you to go easy on me,” I responded.

I looked over my shoulder to see the smile on Pete’s face. He took hold of my waist with both hands and started to thrust slow at first, making sure I was comfortable and fully stretched around him. Once he was sure I was okay, his thrusts gradually got quicker and rougher until he was pounding me so hard that the only sounds in the room were that of skin slapping against skin.

I buried my face in the couch again, trying my best the muffle the moans that were basically turning to screams of pleasure. However this process was basically moot as the sound of our skin slapping against each other and Pete’s own moans and groans of pleasure would definitely alert any passersby of our activities.

Being adventurous with our sex was definitely nothing new to Pete and I. Whenever one of us was in the mood, we’d initiate it wherever we wanted. In bathrooms, fitting rooms, in the back of his car, wherever we could get some form of privacy while also being a little too out in public.

But there was just something different about having him rail me in his dressing room mere minutes before he was set to go live. At any moment someone could walk past, or one of the producers could come knock on the door. Or, heaven forbid if he didn’t lock the door, someone could just walk in and catch the two of us. All of that just made our secret rendezvous a little more naughty and sexy. While I didn’t want to be caught by any means, the thought that it would be so easy to be caught drove me wild.

Pete’s thrusts became so rough that I could hear the couch legs scraping across the floor as it moved. My legs were already feeling like jelly and I had a feeling I was going to have trouble walking to set with Pete when this was over.

His hand ran up my back and through my hair before giving my head a rough tug back. I yelped at the sudden pain that I felt in my head before it dissolved into a moan. Pete pulled me back till my back was against his chest and leaned in close to my ear.

“You feel so good,” he breathed into my ear. “God, even after all this time, you’re still so tight around me.”

“You keep talking like that and I’ll cum around your cock in no time.”

The hand in my hair crept around my front to grab me by the throat. “You say that as if it’s not what I wanted.”

His other hand slipped between my legs and began rubbing at my clit, causing all sorts of pleasure to run through me. My body started to tremble as I felt myself nearing my climax. The hand around my throat squeezed slightly as I let out a cry of pleasure, my walls tightening around him.

Pete grunted in my ear a few more times before I felt him filling me up as well. I took a deep breath in when he let go of my throat, although my head was still spinning.

Pete pulled out of me just in time for a knock to come on his door. “Give me a second!”

He quickly pulled his pants and boxers back on as I adjusted my skirt and panties. Although I was sure whoever was at the door wouldn’t notice the wet spot that had suddenly appeared on the couch, I still decided to cover it with a pillow just in case.

One of the producers was stood at the door. “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that we’re starting in roughly five minutes!”

“Thanks, I’ll be there soon,” Pete responded. He shut the door and looked back at me. His eyes travelled down to my legs as an amused look crossed his face. “You got something on your leg there hun.”

I looked down to see a single string of warm liquid running down my inner thigh. “Oh fuck.”

I reached for a tissue but Pete stopped me. “Wait, don’t clean it yet. I’d love to know you’re in the audience watching me with my cum running down your legs.”

“Okay, that’s hot, but I don’t want your co-workers thinking I peed myself or something.”

“I’ll tell them the truth if you want.”

I rolled my eyes and shoved him towards the door. “Go to set! Let me clean up. I’m sure there’s more there that can fulfil this fantasy you have.”

Pete smiled down and gave me one last kiss before rushing to set.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Paradise Circus - Chapter Thirteen.

Previous chapters - One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve

Tag list - In the comments

Words - 2,695

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. NO MINORS, PLEASE!

“So?” Meadow whispered quietly, accosting Tommy in the kitchen as he went about fetching drinks.

“So... what?” he asked, pulling the juice Darla had asked for from the fridge, and a couple of beers each for him and her.  

“What’s happening with you two? I mean, she’s here!”

“We’ve been banging all afternoon,” he grinned, looking pleased with himself.

“Yeah, I get that. Fuck, I can smell that. Dude, you both reek of sex!” she began, Tommy smiling further as he tried to stick his fingers up her nose. “Stop it, don’t be gross! Stop!” she threatened, backing off with her eyes wide, doing the double finger point at him to enforce her stance. “I mean, like, you look all happy.”

“Of course, I am. I’ve shot my load three times in the space of four hours. Wouldn’t you be?”  

“Yeah but, she’s wearing your shirt and something is different with you!” she began, gesticulating wildly as she whispered, excitement riddling her. “This isn’t just sex anymore, is it? Are you guys giving it another shot?”

He paused, taking a swig of his beer. “Kinda. I mean, I dunno. It’s all kinds of complicated. See, there’s something I didn’t tell you that I probably should have. But if I do, you can’t go insane. You have to be quiet. Mouse quiet, you get me?”

Meadow made a zipper motion across her lips, nodding vigorously.  

“She’s pregnant.”

Immediately, the pretend zipper was undone. “What?”

“I said be quiet! She’s only through that fucking door!”

“Oh, come on! You can’t just pull that kind of mic drop on me and then expect me to be quiet!” she hissed, jumping up and down, her beer foaming up, Meadow quick to cover it by sticking half the bottle neck into her mouth.

“You do that remarkably well for a lesbian,” he observed, raising an eyebrow, receiving a slap to his bare chest for it.  

“Explain! I need details!”

“We’re spending way too long in here whispering.”

“Tommy!”

“Aright, alright, abridged version. I got her pregnant, but we’re not sure if we want to go ahead with it for obvious reasons, us being problematic around each other being it, so we’re trying to see if we can work through those issues before we decide. There, done.” Concise as ever. Some things never changed.  

“So, what, are you dating?”

“Nope, just ironing out the issues we have first, seeing if we can actually be friends before anything else. Now, no more, come on.”  

She halted him, standing in front of the door. “But you’re still having sex with her?”

He nodded, looking nonchalant. “Yeah. She’s very good at it, and I’m a horny motherfucker.” He swerved around her and left the kitchen before he could be further interrogated, handing Darla her juice before seating himself in his huge armchair, Meadow taking the couch next to her, buzzing internally.  

Darla wasn’t stupid, turning to Tommy while pointing at a fit to burst small person beside her. “You told her I’m pregnant, didn’t you?”

“Oh, lord,” he began. “There may be trouble ahead...” he then began to sing, wiping his hand down his face, Darla laughing.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. I told my friends, too,” she reassured him, turning back to Meadow. “Yeah, it’s all a little bit crazy.”

“I’ll say, I mean, wow! So much to unpack, and here was me thinking we’d just be having a nice catch-up chatter. I’ve missed you so much! I hate that we lost touch with one another after we went to college,” Meadow spoke.

“I sense girl talk, so I’m gonna go make myself useful elsewhere. The grass needs cutting, so I’ll see you guys in a while.” Getting up again, he jammed his feet into his sneakers and left them to it, Meadow having the decency at least to wait until she heard the back door shut before she shuffled at speed across the couch closer to Darla, on her like a swarm of wasps to jam.

“So, what the hell is going on with you guys? I mean, he tells me everything, well, Tommy’s version of everything, since we both know how cagey he can be,” she began,

“Right, right,” Darla confirmed.  

“He told Heather and I that your date hadn’t gone well, that you two had absolutely nothing in common and that you clashed a lot, but that in bed, you worked. Don’t worry, he didn’t go into details. I guess I have to give him that, he’s capable of being somewhat of a gentleman. But now there’s this! And... Darla! What, what... what?” Her eyes went just as wide as Darla remembered when she was flustered or excited. It was good to see her again, regardless of anything else.  

Meadow really was someone whose friendship she’d valued hugely, both being so befuddled when Tommy had just upped and left one day with his mom, with no explanation for months until he’d contacted Meadow.  

“I know, oh, Jesus, I know! It’s a mess, really, it is. I mean, even if we were dating, it’d still be tricky, to navigate me being pregnant so soon, but the fact we’re not just makes it even harder.”

“And then there’s the issue of you guys not always seeing eye to eye, that must be tough.”

Darla sipped her juice, nodding. “Undoubtedly so. But see then, we have these little moments with each other where it all falls into place. We also see our faults and know that we have to try harder in not sniping at one another. We’re too similar in that department, both extremely bull headed, and it causes a clash. The patterns we fall into aren’t healthy at all, and that makes us reluctant to bring a baby into such a volatile mix, but at least we both acknowledge that it’s unhealthy at times,” she reasoned, Meadow making an agreeable face.

“Exactly. Hell, most people who do have unhealthy behaviours fail to even see them, which if you ask me is perhaps the unhealthiest of all. At least you two recognise them and want to work to a solution before deciding if bringing a child into the mix is a good idea. I mean, even if you didn’t end up together, who better to raise a baby with than someone you know is as good a guy as Tommy is, and who wants to be a father as much as he does?”  

That was the first Darla had heard of Tommy’s yearnings for offspring. “He does?”

“Oh, heck yeah!” Meadow began, curling her feet under her a little more as she shifted for comfort. “You should see him with my nieces, Heather’s sisters have one and three kids and they love him, they use him as a human climbing frame. He’s there with the littlest ones, doing bicep curls while they hang off his forearms in absolute hysterics. He'd make a wonderful father, he has the patience for it. He never tires of them wanting to play. Brooke, who is Helen’s eldest is really into art, and one time he sat there and let her add to all his tattoos with body paint, so patiently, complimenting her style, then taught her how to draw animals.”

Darla smiled at the mental picture Meadow’s words conjured. “He was always really good with a sketch pencil.”

“Yeah, no kidding. Did he tell you that he drew that?” Pointing over to the war wall, Meadow nodded in the direction of her finger, to a charcoal drawing of a tiger.  

“I didn’t even know that was a sketch! I thought it was a photograph!” she began, getting up to take a closer look. “Shit the damned bed, he’s so talented!”

“But he never speaks of it. I’ve told him time and again, he could earn himself a small fortune if he sold his stuff, but he’s always like ‘naw, I ain’t that good’ whenever I mention it.”

“Well, that’s Tommy all over. I mean, he’s boastful about some things that he excels at, but cagey with others. I think over things he could be more easily judged about. Like he believes his art likely would be.”  

“Oh yeah, you’re right,” Meadow agreed, Darla sitting back down again. “He said that drawing helped keep him sane, when his mom was dying. Shit, I miss Annie. She was always so kind.”

Darla sighed sadly, reaching to squeeze her knee. “Me too, mouse. She was a truly lovely lady.”  

“She really was. I have to wonder, you know, because of the issues he faced in his childhood, if this is stirring anything up for him, you being pregnant,” Meadow wondered. It had played on Darla’s mind, too.

“Yeah, I did think that. He is not his father, though. All of our differences aside, I see that Tommy is a good guy, and his heart is always in the right place. I know if we have this baby, he’d be the best goddamned daddy to it, because he knows only too well what it’s like to have a poor father, one he had to look after in the end instead of the other way around, all while harbouring some really bitter resentment over how he treated his mother. He was so strong, in everything he did.”

Meadow liked that, that Darla really saw through to the bones of who Tommy was, their differences aside. She hoped right then that they could overcome their issues, because they were two wonderful people who she couldn’t help but think fitted together very nicely in the way they were. Strong, kind hearted and funny. Very, very funny.

“When you chased Chris around the house with Squish, oh my god, Darla I thought I was gonna pee my pants!” Meadow squealed with mirth a time later, the women remembering times gone by from their childhood, namely the day Darla had taken her tarantula out and terrorised their childhood friend, Chris Hoffman with him, who’d been just as petrified of the spider as her brother Gene was.

“He was an awesome spider. You know they don’t usually live past ten, right? Squish survived until he was fifteen before he passed. My mom came in to feed him one day while I was away at college and found him under his little hiding log, all curled up. My poor boy, I loved him so much,” she lamented, Meadow cooing softly, reaching to rub her arm affectionately.

“He was great, helped me massively with my spider fear. He was just so chilled. The way he used to sit on top of your dad’s head watching television,” she reminisced, smiling as she remembered Squish in his spot, contentedly exploring Mike’s hair. “Did you ever think about getting another?”

“I’ve toyed with it a lot, you know. They’re great pets, and with my work low maintenance enough too that I wouldn’t need to give it more attention than I could fit in with my schedule. I might do it, actually!” They shared a few more stories from times gone by, before catching up with each other on where their lives had taken them in the time between, Meadow leaving after two hours, picking up the book she had come round to fetch initially and giving them their afternoon back.  

“I should get going too, actually. I’m meeting Chantelle for dinner at eight,” she lamented, Tommy nodding, but not being able to stop himself from looking disappointed at that.

“Okay. I’ll give you a ride home.” She accepted it with thanks, going and packing her clothes into her gym bag, luckily finding a pair of clean cycling shorts in there and pulling those on, feeling a little more covered even though Tommy’s t shirt fit her like a dress.  

“Well, I hope you have a good time with your friend,” he began, parking up outside her place twenty minutes later. “When are you free again?”

“Not for the next week, unfortunately. It’s end of term so I have a lot to do before college is out for the semester, and all of that is now, in the final week. Do you want to come over next Saturday, though? Or I could meet you in the park again for boot camp class. I quite enjoyed it, eventually!”

He laughed softly, smiling at her. “Yeah, sounds good. See you next Saturday, then.” He wanted to lean over and give her a kiss goodbye, Darla feeling the same, but settling instead on squeezing her thigh. Something held him back there, and he wasn’t sure exactly what it was. He didn’t think about much else as he drove home, though, replaying moments from their day together in his head.

For Darla, he was firmly on her mind as well as she got ready to go out, battling her tight, unruly curls with her hair straightener, smoothing it all up and styling her edges before clipping on her long, straight ponytail. She was always ready much too soon, so sat and watched a film before calling her Uber, heading downtown to hers and Chantelle’s favourite curry house, Aimee not present on account of the fact she had other plans, and a hatred for all things spicy.  

While waiting for their main dishes, the women snacked on small, very hot delicacies, catching up with each other’s lives, Darla of course explaining how everything currently lay with Tommy, and the events that had led to them trying to get on some kind of even keel before deciding whether her pregnancy would continue or not.  

“You’re not dating again then, no?” Chantelle asked, dunking her onion bhaji in a liberal smothering of mango chutney.

“I’m not, no. We’re just seeing how we can get along as friends first,” Darla confirmed, her friend frowning a little.

“But you’re still having sex with him? I’m puzzled. To me, that seems like dating without dating, for what truly separates those we date from those we’re friends with? It’s the sexual. I mean we get on like a house on fire, but you don’t don a strap on and dick me down on the regular.”  

Her analogy made Darla snort laugh through a mouthful of samosa.  

“You see what I’m saying though, girl?”

“Yes, I do, I do,” Darla began, holding her hand over her mouth until she’d finished chewing. “I know that, and I suppose it is somewhat of a blurred line there. He’s just so good at it, though!” she partially wailed, remembering that afternoon. God, that man had superb dick swinging game. “Why do you ask, anyway? Do you think that we shouldn’t be?”

“I’m never one to tell others how they should live their lives, you know that. From a personal standpoint, though, I’d find it judgement clouding. I mean, like you rightly say, there’s a line being blurred. Are you definitely sure that you might not end up together? These little moments you speak of where things feel as if they’re falling into place, could they be enough, your differences aside?”

It gave her pause for thought. “See, I’m unsure. In those moments, or when we’re just sitting there laughing at something funny the other has said, I do think it could be more. But then I remember just how volatile we are, and it makes me err on the side of caution when I consider a romantic future with him. Throw a baby into that and what do you have? A situation that suddenly has an extreme amount of pressure upon it.”

“Right. For me personally, I couldn’t do it. I mean if you think you can without complicating things further, you have at it. Who am I to tell you otherwise?”  

While Chantelle likely didn’t mean to, her words really did give Darla some serious fodder for reflection over her situation with Tommy. Would keeping the sexual side of whatever they were to one another act as a positive or a negative? Could it influence them unfairly in their decision making, she wondered?  

It was yet another question she conceded that had to be added to the list, whether she truly wanted it to be or not.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 6) - Best Friends

Summary: While out with Jensen and some of his new co-stars, the reader bumps into her father again. This time Jensen knows the truth though and nearly starts a fight. After calming him down, the reader and he have an impromptu date that ends up with Jensen sharing a secret about himself...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 4,800ish

Warnings: language, angst, body insecurities, scars, smut (oral), mention of a dead parent

A/N: I love all of this part so much! Enjoy!

________

The room was toasty warm when you woke the next morning. It took a split second to remember you weren’t in your room and that there was a warm body next to you. Your did a tiny stretch and felt a weight over your waist. It pulled you closer and you smiled, lazily opening your eyes.

“Good morning sunshine,” he said, hair spiked up every which way, green eyes big and sleepy. 

“Morning,” you said, shutting your eyes again and nuzzling him.

“Just when I thought you couldn’t be any more adorable in the mornings, I get to see you waking up,” he said. He played with a piece of your hair and you threw your arm over his waist, holding onto him. “You’re so fucking cute.”

“Cuddle buddies, remember?” you mumbled.

“I’m down for that,” he said. He squeezed you and giggled, kissing your forehead until you turned your head upwards. “Hi.”

“Hi handsome,” you said. He pecked a kiss on your lips, a trio of feet running down the hall. 

“The vultures are awake. Prepare for impact.”

“What?” you said, the door opening and three very small bodies climbing up on the bed.

“Y/N, what are you doing in daddy’s bed?” asked Arrow.

“Don’t you guys want to sleep in for like once?” asked Jensen. He pulled her down to his other side, Zeppelin doing a dive right between you and Jensen, while JJ plopped down behind you. A pillow was knocked over his face as the twins started crawling over him, Jensen chuckling and pushing it out of the way. His face poked out just as JJ started to jump behind you, a little smile there. “Welcome to my Sunday mornings.”

“Glad I was invited this time,” you said. He was about to speak when he squeezed his eyes shut and bent his body in half.

“Zeppelin,” he grit out. “No jumping on daddy’s lap, remember?”

“Oh. I forgot,” he said.

“Who wants pancakes this morning?” you asked. All three shot their hands up and you smiled. “Well you better go brush your teeth if you want some. Go on guys.”

They ran off the bed and out of the room, Jensen laughing when you moved the pillow away.

“Think you’ll survive?” you asked. 

“That kid is single handedly going to guarantee I can’t have more children,” he chuckled. He sat up and stared at you, looking you over. 

“That’s not a conversation for right now.”

“No, it’s not. But...are you interested in your own?” he asked.

“My mom didn’t have my blood but she was still my mom. I don’t need to make a kid to love it,” you said.

“I know. I wonder is all.”

“I’m not sure.”

“Okay,” he said softly.

“Are you, in more?”

“I don’t know. I’m almost 43, in like a month. I don’t want to…I don’t want to have a kid so late in life that they see me go early in their life, you know? That’d be cruel to do.”

“You got a lot of road ahead of you. You’re not like seventy, dude.”

“I know. Everything this year just…it’s just one more kid someday that’s gonna get hurt,” he said.

“It’s one more kid to love too though. Let’s talk about this much, much further down the line, okay?”

“Okay with me,” he said. You rolled out of bed and he followed after, holding his hands over himself. 

“You need an ice pack?” you asked.

“No, I’m good,” he said. “He’s a little...up this morning is all.”

“Oh I noticed,” you said. His cheeks went pink and you laughed. “Dude. Morning wood is normal.”

“Oh. Good. I thought maybe considering what you told me last night it might have...bothered you,” he said.

“I don’t got a problem with dicks or sex. I got a problem with people invading my personal space with them without my consent,” you said. “We cool?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna take care of this. I’ll be down in a second,” he said.

“Have fun,” you said, winking as you headed out.

“The view of you in my clothes is not helping,” he said. You swayed your hips and heard him groan. “You’re gonna pay for that.”

“I sure hope so,” you laughed. You changed into some fresh clothes in your room, something comfortable for the day before you jogged downstairs and found the three of them watching cartoons. “Okay. So who wants to help make breakfast?”

Two Weeks Later

“Shopping buddy!” said Antony when you and Jensen found your way over to the table where he and a few of Jensen’s other new cast mates were getting a drink and some food.

“Wow you really are too adorable when you’re not playing a psychopath,” you said, sliding into the booth beside him, getting a hug. “Hi. I’m Y/N, his shopping buddy.”

“Erin, Karl,” said Jensen. “Don’t you have a super huge crush on Karl, Y/N?”

“Yours is bigger,” you said, a waiter bringing over a pair of drinks and setting them down. You were about to order when you looked at the man and rolled your eyes. “You gotta be kidding me.”

“We’d like a new waiter. Now,” said Jensen. He stared at you and then Jensen before nodding and leaving.

“What was that about?” asked Erin.

“That was my father. We’re not on good terms,” you said. 

“Gotcha. So how’s a pretty girl like you end up with this ugly?” said Karl. 

“Aw, he thinks you’re pretty,” teased Jensen.

“I got eyes for you too, Jensen. Don’t be jealous,” he chuckled.

“Later guys,” said Jensen, arm over your shoulder as you headed for your car a few hours later. “Thanks for going. I’m still getting to know everyone.”

“I had fun. I like your new friends. I’d like to get to know Jared more when we’re back home.”

“Really?” he asked with a soft smile.

“He’s your best friend. You talk to the guy everyday. He’s important to you.”

“Yes he is. I’d definitely love for you guys to get along.”

“Me too,” you said, arm around his waist. 

“Y/N,” you heard behind you and froze, Jensen already spinning around and pushing you behind him.

“Buddy stay the fuck away from her. I’m serious,” said Jensen.

“That’s my daughter,” he said.

“I’d rather die than hurt my daughters unlike some people. Get your piece of shit ass away from us,” said Jensen.

“Y/N, I got help,” he said, looking past Jensen. “I did.”

“Do I look like I care?”

“Y/N-” he said, trying to get around Jensen and earning a shove for it instead. 

“I told you to back off.”

“Hey,” you heard from outside the restaurant, Jensen’s co-stars walking down from where they were waiting for their ride. “What’s going on here?”

“Leave,” Jensen told your father again.

“I want to talk to-”

“Excuse me but I think our friends asked you to leave them alone,” said Antony. You swallowed and noticed people starting to look. The last thing you needed was this turning into a fight and all of them ending up on the front of TMZ.

“Dad,” you said, brushing past Jensen. “Stay the fuck out of my life. Come near me again and I’ll call the cops.”

“I am sorry for what happened.” Jensen growled and you put a hand on his chest, pushing him back.

“You want to make it up to me?” you asked. “Move to Alaska, somewhere I’ll never have to see your face again.”

“Y/N-”

“Leave and never, I mean never, come back.”

He went back into the restaurant and you took a deep breath, glancing down.

“Sorry about that,” you said.

“You guys good?” they asked and you nodded. “Jensen?”

“Yeah I’m good. I’ll see you guys at work,” he said. You pulled him away and down the sidewalk, holding his hand tightly. “Don’t step in front of me like that.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want you near him. Ever.”

“Forget about him. Please. We had fun tonight. That’s all I want to focus on.”

“Okay,” he said when you got to the crosswalk. He pulled you into his side and kissed your temple.

“You’re shaking,” you said.

“I’m freaking out a little bit to be honest,” he said. You hugged him and walked across the street, pulling him into a bar. You found a quiet table in the corner and got him an old fashioned, leaving him seated while you got an order of pretzels too. 

“Eat this,” you said, placing the basket of warm soft dough in front of him. He picked one up and ripped it apart, dipping it in mustard and then the cheese.

“This is really good,” he said. You pulled off his hat and carded your fingers through his hair, Jensen glancing down. “I’m sorry. I should be taking care of you right now.”

“I’m okay and I happen to like taking care of you. Always have,” you said. He nodded and rested his head on your shoulder, eating quietly as you listened to an in house band play on the other side of the bar. “I like this place. It’s kinda quaint.”

“Try some,” he said, holding up the pretzel. You took a bite and hummed. “S’good.”

“Very good. You feel like you calmed down some.”

“I thought he might hurt you. I was so fucking angry it scared me.”

“But you still listened to me and calmed down for me. I’m not gonna be mad that you want to protect me from him.” 

“I feel like I can’t do anything to protect people I care about anymore.”

“Did she ever have to force you to relax?”

“Hm?”

“Your wife. Did she make you take time off or relax or have a lazy day?” you asked. 

“Yeah. How’d you know that?”

“I think your life has been so busy for so long you forget to have the quiet moments to yourself, even though I think that’s truly what you enjoy. I think you had more fun tonight than you would have without me because new people make you nervous. I think you were thrown on pause for so long after the accident that you didn’t realize that you can’t ever go back to how it was, no matter how much you want it to. You need to take more time for you Jensen. The fate of the world doesn’t rest on your shoulders. You can sleep in. You can take a day for yourself and not constantly be with the kids for hours and hours on end. You can take a second to breathe. You gotta. I’m okay. Even if something had happened tonight, it’s not the end of the world.”

He lifted his head up and blinked a few times at you. His hand cupped your cheek and he kissed you, tasting like bourbon and mustard, something different about it this time. Something possessive, something softer. 

“Better?” you asked, stroking his cheek.

“I’m better,” he said, turning into the touch. “You scare me most of all, you know.”

“Why?”

“Cause this is either going to turn out really good or really bad and I’m so fucking tired of being scared.”

“Don’t be,” you said quietly. He swallowed and you looked him up and down. “You’re my best friend. I don’t want you to be scared of me.”

“You’re my best friend too,” he said, nodding and taking a deep breath. You scooted closer and hugged him, Jensen returning it for a long moment. You sat back against the corner and turned him to lean back against you, both of you watching over towards where the band played. He sipped on his drink and you played with his hair, picking at the pretzel while you held him. “Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, honey,” you said, kissing the top of his head. “That’s my job.”

He tilted his head back and looked up at you with the biggest green eyes you’d ever seen, a warm feeling filling you. You bent down and kissed him, Jensen grinning by the time you were straightening yourself out. 

A few minutes went by and some more, Jensen ordering a few more drinks and food while you used the bathroom. You returned to your table and picked at fat mozzarella sticks and chicken wings, sipping on a way too expensive scotch while you listened to the band play, tucked away in Jensen’s side. 

“Can I admit something?” he asked while you dunked a cheese stick into a tiny cup of marinara. “I kinda like this more than our date a few weeks ago. Our dress up one. Don’t get me wrong, you were gorgeous but this is kinda perfect all things considered.”

“I’m a cheap date Ackles. Give me some bar food, some music and a cuddle and I’m a happy girl,” you said. You held up your stick and he bit off the end before you popped the other piece in your mouth. “I like this date too. Found out I’m your best friend and all.”

“Do you wanna…” he trailed off. You turned your head up and saw the look in his eye. You nodded and smiled, the two of you getting into your coats and heading outside. You barely caught the name of the bar before Jensen was pulling you after him down towards the car. 

He turned up the heat when you were inside and drove out of the city, finding a quiet and dark little field not too far from the house. 

“Um, I wasn’t...expecting this,” he said. You smirked and sat back in your seat, Jensen turning off the car but leaving the heat running. “I don’t even know what I’m…”

“I’ve never made out in the back of a car before,” you said with a shrug. “I’ve also never made out in the back of a car with you either so…”

“I was thinking something more…” he said, taking a deep breath.

“I’m not on birth control,” you said. 

“I’m not having sex with you for the first time in the back of a car. I have more class than that,” he chuckled. You unbuckled your seatbelt and shrugged out of your coat, leaning over as he backed up against his door. 

“If you’re not ready for this, tell me and I’ll stop,” you said. He nodded and you put a hand on his chest, unzipping his coat. Your hand rested on his lower stomach, just over his belt and he shut his eyes.

“Wait,” he said. You sat back and he sat forward in his seat again, pressing his hand over his stomach. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” you said. You kissed his cheek and sat back in your seat, sticking your arms in your jacket. “Seriously, don’t over think it.”

“I want to. Shit I want to do all sorts of things with you in that backseat. But I need to show you something first and it’s better at home if you find out.”

“Okay,” you said. “Let’s go home then.”

Twenty minutes later the babysitter was gone and you were watching Jensen peel off his shirt in his bedroom, back to you. He dropped his jeans and kicked them aside, turning around in his boxer briefs. He started to pull them down when you shook your head.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“No. I think I’m wearing too many clothes is all.” You turned and took off your top, your face hot as you slipped off your leggings. You dropped them to the ground and straightened up, taking deep breaths. You’d been naked in front of your ex before plenty. But Jensen was just so damn handsome and his body was…

“Y/N,” said Jensen, close behind you but not touching you. “You okay?”

“Didn’t really think through the you seeing me basically naked thing,” you said. He lightly tapped your arm and you spun around, forcing your head up. 

“Basically naked you is hot,” he said, cupping your cheek. 

“I have a stomach,” you said.

“So do I,” he said, patting his own. “You are beautiful, Y/N. Believe me when I say it.”

You nodded and started to relax, Jensen tensing up again though.

“What did you want to show me?” you asked. He walked over to the bed and glanced at it. You took a seat and he shut his eyes, taking a beat before he pushed down his underwear. A thick pink scar ran over his skin and curled down to his leg.

“One of my arteries was damaged in my hip, leg, groin, whatever area, when part of the car kinda...went in me. It’s um...it’s fine now but the scar is…I’m kinda...self-conscious about it...”

“Can I?” you asked. He nodded and you reached out your hand, Jensen opening his eyes as you touched the end closest to his hip. You traced your finger over it and down, curving it back around and to the top of his thigh.

“I know it’s ugly but laser scar removal can be a bitch to deal with, especially down there. I-”

“I love it.”

“What?”

“Scars mean you survived. I’m really happy you survived so yeah, I love it. I don’t give a fuck if you have scars, Jensen. You’re so handsome and attractive and this is not ugly. This is part of you and nothing about you is ugly.”

“It’s not attractive though,” he said, putting his hand over it. You put yours over his and moved it aside.

“You’re standing in front of me naked and you think this scar is what I’m thinking about?” you asked. 

“I haven’t done this with someone new in almost twenty years,” he said. “I’m nervous.”

“Me too. But I meant what I said. It’s just a scar, Jensen. I got ‘em. You got ‘em. I’m attracted to you but that sure as shit ain’t why I like you.” You gently thumbed over the skin and he rested his hand on yours, tracing over it with you this time. “Come here.”

He sat down and you knelt up on your knees, cupping his cheek and kissing him. He sank back and moved towards the middle of the bed, never breaking apart from you. 

“Relax,” you said against his ear. “This is gonna be fun. I promise.”

“Can I take off your bra?” he asked. You nodded and he shook his head. “Why do I feel like I’m doing this for the first time?”

“It is the first time like this. So we’ll move at your speed, okay?”

“How do…” he said, shutting his eyes. He fisted his hands in the sheets and you wrapped your arms around him, Jensen resting his head on your shoulder. “I don’t want to...do certain things bother you?”

“Like…” you said, Jensen taking a deep breath. He lifted his head and looked at you, pursing his lips.

“Do things having to do with sex scare you? I don’t need details or why but with what happened to you I don’t want to frighten you or do something stupid.”

“You’re too sweet,” you said. You stroked his cheek and shook your head. “I’m okay. Trust me. I’ve probably done kinkier shit than you have.”

“Y/N.”

“I’m not scared of you, Ackles. I’ve had all the time in the world to work through that stuff. If you want to take off my bra and leave it at making out in bed naked, that’s fine. If you want to go further, that’s fine too. I’m not pushing you into anything. Ever. I literally can’t imagine being in your position. Take all the time-”

“Why…” he breathed out, resting his forehead against yours, hot breath fanning over your mouth. “Why are you so patient with me? You’re thirty. You could have anyone you want. Why would you want me?”

“Because you’re my best friend, Jensen. You’re the only one I do want.”

He leaned forward, hand sliding up to the back of your neck as he pressed his lips to yours. He slowly took charge of it and you let him, Jensen guiding you to lay back. You kept softly kissing him, matching his pace and cupping his face, running your fingers through his hair. A finger grazed your shoulder and then the other. You moved your arms out of the bra straps, reaching up for him again. You sat up as best you could, Jensen reaching behind you and undoing the clasp before tossing it aside. He didn’t move lower though, just kissed you lazily until he rolled back onto the mattress, pulling you to lay on top of him.

You shifted back and heard him groan when you nudged the tip of his cock. 

“Sorry,” you mumbled, Jensen shaking his head.

“Take off your underwear,” he murmured.

“Jensen I don’t like to have sex unless I’m on birth control. It’s just a-”

“Of course not. There are other things we can do if that’s okay?” he asked. You nodded and rolled to the side, shimmying out of your underwear. He slid down the bed and ran his hands up your thighs, a shiver trickling down your spine. 

“What are you thinking?” you breathed out.

“Wonder how you taste,” he said, licking his lips.

“Are you sure you want to?” you asked. He nodded and you returned it. He leaned down and spread your legs out, large hands sliding up and down your inner thigh, getting closer and closer each time. “What are you doing?”

“S’called foreplay sweetheart,” he said, hands gliding up over your hips and giving a gentle squeeze.

“Jesus Jensen. I was not expecting this from you.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Fuck no.” He smirked and inched his fingers closer and closer to you, teasingly leaving kitten kisses over your hip. Painfully slow he made his way down, dipping his head down and swiping his tongue over your clit. He was soft and gentle at first but he increased the pressure when your legs wrapped over his back.

His hands pinned your hips down to the bed, your own wandering to his hair and running through it. He was very good and when he sucked you fisted his short strands, Jensen doing it over and over while still working his tongue. 

Your legs squeezed him as your orgasm snuck up on you, sharp and powerful. You moaned when the feeling died down but Jensen didn’t let up for a beat.

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck,” you said, another orgasm tearing through you. You yelped and threw a hand over your mouth, this one even better than the last. You breathed hard as Jensen finally pulled back, smirking as he pulled his hand away from your mouth. 

“Sorry. Couldn’t help myself,” he teased.

“I think you short circuited my brain,” you breathed out, staring at the ceiling. You giggled and he joined you, laying a hand over your waist. “How the fuck did you get me to come twice. That’s literally never happened outside of some alone time.”

“You find that groove, you stay in it,” he smirked. “You taste excellent by the way.”

“You’re a fucking dirty boy under that soft little face and I’m kinda super hot for it,” you said. He chuckled and you sat up, staring down at him. “Can I return the favor?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Do you want a condom?”

“You clean?” you asked. He nodded and you smiled. “You okay with me not using one?”

“Yeah. Just don’t expect me to last long.”

You smiled and kissed him before you scooted down the bed. He was hard and leaking a bit of precome when you gently wrapped a hand around the base of him. He tensed up and you flicked your gaze up but he took a deep breath.

“I’m good,” he said. You licked your lips and ducked your head, taking the head of him into your mouth. He breathed harder and you stilled, waiting until he was calmer before you moved your tongue around. You didn’t stroke the rest of him, merely gave him a few teasing touches while you bobbed an inch or two, lightly hollowing your cheeks. He let out soft sighs and quiet grunts that spurred you to take more of him in. You moved lower and faster, swiping your tongue over his head. He started to throb and you sucked hard, Jensen groaning before he came. You pulled off after a moment and swallowed, wiping off your lip with your thumb and sucking it clean. 

“How was that?” you smirked, Jensen throwing his arm over his face. He didn’t seem to be enjoying his post-orgasmic glow though and you tried pulling his arm away. “Hey, you okay? Was it too much?”

“No,” he said, flopping his arm down and staring up at you. “It felt great. I just...I came so fucking early.”

“When’s the last time you had a blowjob?”

“Well over six months. I still-”

“Coming early ain’t a bad thing to me,” you said. “Shit I came after like five minutes which doesn’t happen like, ever. I just care that you had fun.”

“I did,” he said, a smile coming onto his face. “I liked that little under the tip thing you were doing with your tongue.”

“Never met a man that could last longer than a few minutes with that little trick,” you said. You lay down and wrapped your arms around him, Jensen brushing his nose against yours. 

“How many guys you been with? If that’s okay.”

“Three including you,” you shrugged. “Highschool party. The ex which was off and on for a long time. You. You got the nicest dick, that’s for sure.”

He chuckled and you kissed the tip of his nose, Jensen pulling you closer.

“You?”

“Oh I’ve not been with any guys,” he chuckled. 

“Go gentler on the dick than you think you should. They go nuts for it,” you said.

“I will keep that in mind for when it happens,” he laughed. “Pretty much all of my girlfriends in adulthood. Seven or so I’d say.”

“I don’t know why I expected that number to be higher.”

“More than that have tried. I’m not really the hook up guy. Sure I acted like that guy when I was younger but never really was him, you know?”

“You’ve always been sweet. Probably even as a dumb teenage boy, weren’t you.”

“I was a very dumb teenage boy,” he chuckled. “But I didn’t really get in trouble. Flirted with that line once or twice but you know. Teenagers are idiots. I bet you were a good girl, weren’t you.”

“I spent most of my teenage years with my mom sick and then after that I was...I wasn’t really the girl that got involved with that stuff besides some parties.”

“Was it cancer? Your mom?” he asked.

“Radiation poisoning. She’d been accidentally exposed as a little kid on her family’s farm when she got into some supplies she shouldn’t have. Hit her harder later on in life. She’d known since she was a kid that dying young was a strong possibility. It wasn’t easy but I felt kinda better that her first husband Dan was like, maybe waiting for her or some shit. I don’t know. Ray and I used to say that to each other sometimes.”

“Why don’t you talk to Ray anymore?” he asked quietly, playing with a piece of your hair over your shoulder.

“It wasn’t like we had a fight or anything. I just got older, moved out for a nanny job at eighteen. He started to date again and he has this nice little life now with his wife and kids. The idea of a father scared me.”

“My dad’s nice if you ever want to talk to a dad sometime,” he said. He smiled before he cocked his head, his lips parting. “They have no idea I’m dating you.”

“It’s not been that long,” you said.

“I should tell them, before they hear from some tabloid or friend or something,” he said.

“Do you think they’ll have a problem with me?” you asked, his head shaking. “I mean, I’d be leery of me if I were them. I sound like a fucking movie plot. The young nanny gets with the older single dad.”

“My parents want me to be happy again and you make me happy for the first time in a very long time. There’s no way that they couldn’t love you,” he said. You nodded and closed your eyes, covers pulled up over top of the two of you after a few moments. You felt a kiss on your lips and you smiled, inching closer to him. “Thanks. For tonight.”

“You too, Jensen. It was perfect.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 7 here!

[tyongxnct]

𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 - 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝐿𝑒𝑒

pairing: Mark Lee x reader

summary: Dating Mark Lee was wonderful- until it wasn’t. You were fighting all the time and he hurt you with his words, but this time you had enough. You couldn’t let him hurt you and accept him back whenever he said that he was sorry. You were so sick of letting him hurt you, so sick of him talking about your relationship with others behind your back. He changed so much, you probably did too, but he wasn’t the person you fell in love with anymore.

song: same old love - Selena Gomez

genre: angst, a dash of fluff

warnings: swearing, mention of sex

word count: 2,7k

A/N: this one’s a little short and I hope you enjoy it anyway! 💖 a little spoiler for the last story in my series: back to you won’t be a short fic, it’s going to be a full fic with (currently) over 7k words and I’m not finished yet! If you want to be added to the taglist send me an ask! 🥰

taglist: @alex-chann​, @aesthetichrj​

© tyongxnct on all platforms

Take away your things and go You can't take back what you said, I know I've heard it all before, at least a million times I'm not one to forget, you know

“Leave. Take all of your things and go.”

“No, baby, fuck. I didn’t mean-“ Mark stepped forward and you stepped backwards. It broke his heart. “What? You didn’t mean it? It’s not your first time saying that Mark. I’ve had enough. We’re going in circles, it needs to stop!”

It wasn’t the first time that Mark told you that he’s sick of you and that he wished that he never dated you in the first place.

“I love you, baby. Believe me, I was just angry and-“

“frustrated- I know, it’s always the same excuse Mark. I know that you don’t love me, so please, just leave. Find someone you love and who treats you better, apparently I’m not enough.”

“I do! I do love you! Just hear me out, please!” Mark was crying, you weren’t even crying.

“Why are you crying? I’m letting you go Mark, you don’t have to force yourself to stay with me anymore.” Your heart clenched, your hands formed to fists, nails dug into your soft skin.

“I love you…” he whispered, “I love you so much, please give me one last chance.” He begged. “Did you love me when you told Johnny that I was so annoying? Did you love me when you told Jaehyun that you’re sick of having sex with me, sick of me calling you and texting you? Sick of me asking you about your day and worrying about you? Did you love me when you told Mina, that we aren’t serious? How can you love me when we aren’t even serious?”

Mark looked defeated, “H-how did you-“

“Is that important? You talked to them every time I was with you, you wanted me to hear that. You want me to break up with you because you are a fucking coward.”

“I-I never wanted you to hear that- I just, I don’t know what to say, I’m so sorry, please. I’m begging you, give me one last chance. I love you. I really love you so much, I can’t do it without you. I need you in my life.” Mark wiped away his tears with his hands, but the tears were still rolling down his cheeks.

“I’ll never forget how you treated me, how much you hate me. You made me think it was my fault- that I was the one who destroyed this relationship, but it wasn’t me. It was you, and now, take your things and go. We’re done.” You didn’t allow the tears to fall until you entered the bathroom, closed the door, and locked it.

I don't believe, I don't believe it You left in peace, left me in pieces Too hard to breathe, I'm on my knees Right now

You fell on your knees, your hand was on your mouth, covering your whimpers and sobs. It hurt, you loved him so much it broke you apart. You felt your chest tighten, the pain filled your body and there was nothing you could do to stop the pain.

“I-I love you. So much.” Mark was on the other side of the door, his hand was on the doorknob, he couldn’t hold you anymore, it was over now. Mark was still crying as he held his bag tightly and hoped that you’d open the door and jump in his arms, for one last time.

He could hear you, your sobs were loud, you were never good in hiding your emotions. Your eyes filled with tears and pain. “I’m sorry.” And with that, he walked out of your apartment and left.

You couldn’t breathe, the hand that covered your mouth before, was now holding your chest tightly. Your eyes were wide, were you having a panic attack? The bathroom suffocated you, the walls came closer and closer and you were having a hard time controlling your breathing.

Your curled up and closed your eyes, you tried to think of happy memories. Yeah, you had happy memories with Mark, not just bad memories. The first time you had met him was your favorite memory of him.

I'm so sick of that same old love, that shit, it tears me up I'm so sick of that same old love, my body's had enough I'm so sick of that same old love, feels like I've blown apart I'm so sick of that same old love, the kind that breaks your heart

You’ve met Mark on a blind date your friend had arranged for you almost two and a half years ago. She told you that you were a perfect match and after two weeks of begging you to meet him, you said yes. It wouldn’t hurt right?

“He’s a little bit shy, okay maybe not a little bit, but like, you know, he’s cute you’ll love him.” Your friend said as she helped you with your make up. “I’m shy too! What If we just sit there and don’t talk?” you said worriedly.

“No, he will talk. Maybe even a little too much.”

You looked through the restaurant and looked for the man in blue. The two of you decided to wear a matching color since you still didn’t know what he looked like, and he told you to wear blue because it was his favorite color.

Your gaze met his, and your brain stopped working because he looked so handsome and cute at the same time. Mark’s smile widened as he watched you walk over to him. His palms were sweaty, and he was absolutely nervous.

“Hey, Mark?” you said nervously.

“Yeah, hi. I’m Mark. Wow you’re way prettier than I imagined.” He rambled and you smiled at him shyly. “Oh yeah right.” He got up and helped you with your chair like a gentleman. “Thank you.”

“Uhm, I ordered red wine, but like, if you want to drink something else, like, champagne or something tell me.” He was talking so fast and you could see how nervous he was, just like you.

“No, no. Red wine is totally fine.”

“Yeah, uhm, Minsoo told me that you like red wine, but I thought maybe you’d like to drink something else.” He rambled again. “Am I talking too much? I feel like I’m talking too much.”

“No,” you giggled, “You’re not talking too much don’t worry.”

“That’s good, my friends told me to shut up, but I feel like I can’t stop talking. Did I tell you that you’re really pretty?” Mark didn’t even notice the waiter looking at him with his mouth wide open, “Thank you, Mark. You are very handsome.”

The waiter looked to you and then back to Mark as you and Mark just looked at each other without saying anything. The waiter cleared his throat, “Sir, would you like to order now?”

And after ordering, your night was filled with smiles, giggles, and loud laughs. Mark was so funny and cute the whole time, and when you held his hand, which was resting on top of the table, his cheeks started burning and you just wanted to squish his cheeks.

“You’re so adorable.” You smiled at him shyly. “And you’re so gorgeous.”

You were in front of your apartment, even though you didn’t want the night to end, but it was almost 1 am and you had classes the next day. “I had so much fun tonight, Mark. Thank you so much.”

“Me too. And uhm, I really would love to do it again.” He blushed a little. “Me too. You have my number?”

He nodded and you couldn’t resist, so you tiptoed and kissed his cheek before you entered your apartment, “Good night, Mark.”

I'm not spending any time, wasting tonight on you I know, I've heard it all So don't you try and change your mind 'Cause I won't be changing too, you know

You woke up on the bathroom floor. After crying for hours and trying to calm yourself down, you fell asleep. You fell asleep with a smile on your face, the memories you shared with Mark were beautiful, almost too good to be true. But after everything you’ve been through, you didn’t want to wallow in memories. Even it’s just for one night, you wanted to stop feeling sad and down, you just wanted to be happy and think about yourself first. No more thoughts on Mark’s wellbeing, no more going through pictures of him on your phone and no more texting him that you missed him.

You were determined, your relationship with Mark was over, and he wouldn’t change your mind this time, like he always did. This time, you had enough.

You can't believe, still can't believe it You left in peace, left me in pieces Too hard to breathe, I'm on my knees Right now

“H-Hyung, I just- fuck.” Mark cried into his palms. Johnny knew that your relationship with Mark was about to end, after everything Mark had told him, he didn’t think he’d see his friend crying like this after you broke up with him. “I just can’t believe it, I-I thought that we’d be together forever, no matter w-what.”

“Mark, isn’t this what you wanted?” Johnny asked carefully.

Mark shook his head, “I-I don’t know what I wanted, I only know that I want her b-but she’ll never want me back.”

“You said it yourself though, that you were sick-“

“I know what I said!” he shouted at his friend, “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to shout at you, but like, I know what I said and If I could take it back I would. I just feel so… so empty without her. I think… I think I was scared that she’d stop loving me first and that’s why I pushed her away.”

“That’s literally the dumbest thing you could’ve done.” Johnny sighed.

“She didn’t even cry. S-She looked so, so done. Done with me and done with everything, like she fell apart and it’s all because of me.”

Mark couldn’t breathe, his heart clenched, and he gripped his shirt, everything suffocated him. He remembered your emotionless face and the emptiness in your eyes, and this time it was Mark who was on his knees, having a panic attack.

I'm so sick of that same old love, that shit, it tears me up I'm so sick of that same old love, my body's had enough

I'm so sick of that same old love, feels like I've blown apart I'm so sick of that same old love, the kind that breaks your heart

A couple weeks after your fight with Mark, you found yourself alone at home, an empty bottle of wine next to your empty bed.

He didn’t try to contact you. The only information you had about him was that he stayed with Johnny. Johnny sent a simple text, telling you that he was sorry and that Mark was in safe hands, since he knew, that you after everything still cared for him.

You didn’t cry after the last time you cried. It’s going to be a long journey until you close the big chapter labeled ‘Mark’ and you hoped that it’s going to be a peaceful journey, but after tonight, you weren’t sure if there was a possible future without Mark in it.

Suddenly you heard sounds coming from your door. Didn’t you lock it? Who is trying to get into your apartment? It was past midnight and with a pan in your one hand, you slowly walked to the door.

Of course, it was him. Mark still had your spare key and he forgot to ask for your permission before he entered.

You let out the breath you were holding. “What are you doing here? Did you forget anything?”

Mark looked at you and then at he pan in your hand. “Are you going to hit me with it? I’ll let you do it If you listen to me for just a minute.”

“N-No I’m not going to hit you with. I thought you were a thief.”

You put the pan on top of the little shelf next to your door. “A-Are you scared alone?” he asked you.

The truth is, yes you were. You were scared of being alone, scared of darkness.

“N-No?”

“You don’t have to lie to me, I know that you’re scared. I’m sorry.”

“What are you doing here? I don’t think you came just to ask me If I’m scared.”

“I needed to talk to you, I know it’s late and stuff, but like, yeah I just- I couldn’t sleep nor eat and yeah, I, uhm-“

“Mark you’re rambling.” He reminded you of the time your first started dating, how nervous he was and how he couldn’t stop talking because he hated awkward silence.

“Yeah, I am. Sorry, I just want to talk.”

“I don’t think there is anything to talk about, Mark.” You sighed. “There is. I can’t survive another week without telling you how much you actually mean to me.” He whispered.

“Mark I really don’t want to do this-“

“Please, just one minute. Just one minute.” He held your hand, and you didn’t push away. You missed his touch. “Fine. Just one minute.”

“First of all, I love you. I really do. Since the second I saw you enter that restaurant, I knew that I loved you and I can remember how much of an idiot I was, like, the entire night, but you still kissed me goodbye on the cheek and my heart was about to explode. I thanked Minsoo so much and I still thank her for introducing you to me. I was like, a blind date? How’s that going to work? And it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I know I pushed you away, I was an asshole and I hurt you so much, but I’m an insecure, stupid pussy and I can’t believe I had you, but then I let you slip through my fingers. I didn’t know how to hold your hand and I didn’t know how to make clear, that I need you. The things I told the others, I don’t think that I was actually complaining because If I think about it now, my heart flutters and I can feel the butterflies in my belly jumping around. You cared about me like no one else did and I missed you so much, I just can’t lose you. Your my first and only love, I don’t want anyone but you.”

You were crying, he was crying, Johnny was probably at home crying too.

“M-Mark…” you whimpered, you didn’t know what to say.

“P-Please just give me a chance to gain your love and t-trust back.” He wiped your tears away with his soft hand.

“I’m… I’m so sick of being hurt, I’m so sick of it, Mark. I can’t take anymore pain, I’m so sick of suffering and not being loved, I-I just want to be loved. You h-hurt me so much the past months, I don’t think my body and soul can handle it I-If I go through that again…” you sobbed.

“You won’t need to- Baby, I promise you, I’ll never ever treat you like that again. I won’t let you suffer, not again. I love you I love you so much. I love you please believe me, I love you.”

Mark wrapped his arms around you as you cried into the crook of his neck. He repeated over and over again that he loved you as you both cried together, arms wrapped around each other and hearts connected again.

“One last chance, and if you fuck up again, you’ll never get to see my face again.” You whispered.

“I won’t fuck up, I promise you. The days without you were torture. Being without you is torture.”

“C-Can we take it slow, Mark? I feel like… I feel like if we rush things you’ll get sick of me again…” you were scared that giving him another chance was a mistake.

“No, no baby. Don’t ever think that again, okay? We can take it slow if you want that, but I don’t want you think that I’ll get sick of you, I could never. Being away from you was so hard, I don’t want that to happen ever again.” Mark pressed his lips on your temple.

“Okay…”

“Do you want to go on a date with me? Are you free on Friday?” he asked you and you chuckled.

“I’m not sure, I have to check my schedule.” You teased him.

“Babe…” Mark whined.

“I’m just joking.”

[sunlight-moonrise]

Sugar, Spice, and Everything (Not So) Nice (Reid Imagine)

Summary: Being a Barista and falling for a regular is as cliche as it gets. Having that customer become your new professor? Not so much. 

A/N: *Peeks head out* Hello everyone. I have come back from my unannounced hiatus to show off this baby. Major thanks to @definitelynotkatesblog​ and @clean-bands-dirty-stories​ for helping me put this fic together. This was written for the lovely @httpnxtt​ for the secret-fic-swap in the Discord (thanks @imagining-in-the-margins​.) I hope you all enjoy this smutty goodness. 

Category: Smut

Content Warnings: Face Slapping, Degradation, Slight Hair Pulling, Oral Sex (male receiving), Fingering, Spanking, Penetrative Sex, Unprotected Sex/Creampie

Word Count: 6.4K

Masterlist

Being a barista is pretty awesome. Sure, there were bitchy customers and super early mornings but it had it’s redeeming perks. We got free coffee, tea, and snacks during our shifts, which served the caffeine addict in me. I also learned how to make popular lattes, mochas, and frappes that I ended up making at home for myself one too many times. While there were the occasional assholes who couldn’t appear human before getting their hands on some caffeine, there were the regulars who made it worth it. Most of the regulars were so sweet, I appreciated a familiar face when they came in. Some.. more than others.

“He’s baaaaaaaaack,” my coworker Hazel whispered to me in a sing-song voice as she scribbled a customer’s name on a cup. I turned to see who she was talking about, but I already had an inkling about who it was.

My suspicions were correct. I turned to see one of our kindest regulars, my personal favorite customer, Dr. Spencer Reid. Is it weird to know the full name -including the honorific- of a customer? Possibly. But when I’d asked for his name to write on his cup the first time he came in, he accidentally gave me his full name. 

“Dr. Reid- uh, Spencer. Sorry, work habit.” He stuttered, avoiding my eyes after the mistake.

“No worries! What can I get started for you?”

As a Criminology major,  I learned to study the people who catch my attention before indulging them. Call it an old habit. 

Dr. Spencer Reid had earned his title and then some. He’d joined the FBI at only 22, having six degrees under his belt by the age of 27. He’d written several dissertations and co-wrote novels with his colleague, David Rossi. Someone with his reputation could be a pompous ass and have a leg to stand on, which is what made his humbled demeanor so much sweeter. He was also incredibly easy on the eyes, which was a nice little bow on top. 

Hazel liked to joke about how we’d make a cute couple but I know she only did it to watch me get flustered.  

I walked towards the counter to take his order, leaving Hazel with the task of refilling the caramel syrup. I’m always the one to help him since he very aptly pointed out that I’m the only one who makes his coffee just how he likes it.  

Some days, he’d let me surprise him with a random creation. I’d confirm if he wanted caffeine (he always did), iced or not, and any flavor requests. He’d take his drink, tip me handsomely and let me know his thoughts on the drink the next time he came in. So far, his favorite was the almond milk honey latte I’d concocted. It was nice to have a little bit of fun, especially with regulars who were as consistent as him.

“Hey Doc, what can I get ya’?” I asked.

“The usual, please,” he said with a smile. I nodded and set off to make his drink: a venti dark roast with a shit ton of sugar, a dash of nutmeg, and a tiny bit of cinnamon.

“Of course!” I quickly go to fill his order, making sure to put a complimentary treat in a bag for him. I know he had the ultimate sweet tooth so I try to sneak him a confection whenever I can. At first, he was a bit reluctant to take the free pastries, but nowadays he usually smiles when he sees the small bag. 

“Here ya’ go.” I handed him his steamy cup of caffeine along with the little treat, seeing him smile at the small pun I add to his cup, “Have a BREW-tiful day, Doctor!” I watched as his lips landed on the rim of the cup, taking a long sip of the hot coffee. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, the sight making my cheeks promptly flush. I cleared my throat before asking, “Is it good?”

“It’s always good when you make it,” he stated matter of factly, a small smile touching his lips. The heat in my cheeks rose again. “Will you be taking a course this summer?” he asked, taking another sip of his coffee.

“Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it. My first day is actually later today. I’m surprised the class section was open, to be honest.” Super surprised actually. I’d been trying to enroll in this class for the past couple of semesters but it was always full by the time I was able to even load the registration page.

“Well, I’ll wish you luck, but I’m sure you won’t need it.”

“How can you be so sure?” 

“I can just tell.” He stated calmly, like it was common knowledge. I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to explain. Before he could respond, an insistent cough caught both of our attention. I peeked over Spencer’s shoulder to see a customer waiting for his order to be taken. I turned my attention back to the Doctor, an annoyed look painted on my face. He nodded, taking a hint from the impatient mouth breather behind him. 

“Thank you for the coffee. Enjoy the rest of your day. I hope that class goes well.”

“Bye, you too.” I waved, watching as he exited the door. I turned to the waiting customer, a bit miffed that he interrupted our conversation. But because I was at work, I plastered a fake smile on my face so that he wouldn’t see just how annoyed I was. “Welcome, how may I help you?”

●●●

After clocking out at 2:30 PM, I made a dash for the building where my class would be held. It’s not supposed to start for another half-hour, but I wanted to be sure to get there in time to choose a good seat and settle in before the rest of the class arrived.

Luckily room 301 was relatively empty so I was able to score a perfect seat by the window. I decided to kill some time by listening to some music and doodling randomly in my notebook. Some time had passed when I felt someone take the seat next to me. I turned to see a young man occupying the chair beside mine. He looked to be a frat boy based on the Greek letters he was sporting. Who wears a cap and hoodie in this weather? I really hope he didn’t expect to cheat off of me- although these types of guys always seem to do so.

I was about to return to my doodle when I felt a poke on my shoulder. I turned to give the offender my full attention, removing one of the earbuds from my ears. 

“Hey, I’m Tony,” frat boy said, with a wide smile adorning his face. I must admit, his boyish grin melted the slight annoyance I had begun to stir toward him. I returned his greeting and introduced myself as well. “I don’t mean to be a bother,” he continued, “but I like to have at least one buddy in each of my classes. In case we need help or miss an assignment or something.”

I nodded my head - a friend in a class was always useful when it came to studying and swapping notes. We chatted a bit more, learning about each other’s major and why we both decided to take a summer course. Tony is a double major and this course will satisfy the credits he needs for his psychology requirement. This is why you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. 

It wasn’t until I heard the hush of the classroom that I realized the class was about to begin. I turned back to my notebook, preparing to jot down some important information despite it being the first day of class.

“Good morning class.” Wait. That voice... I didn’t even need to pick my head up to know who had spoken. “This is Criminal Psychology and I am your instructor, Doctor Spencer Reid. Unfortunately, Professor Monroe could not cover this course so I’ll be his permanent replacement. Now…”

I raised my head, watching as he continued to talk about what is to be expected in this course while a TA handed out the syllabus. He went on, able to capture the attention of everyone while speaking of the experiences he had with an array of criminals. His eyes scanned the room and for a brief moment I thought they would land on me, but they continued to take in the mass amount of students before him.

My concentration was broken by Tony passing me a copy of the syllabus. I scanned it over, making sure to highlight all the important dates. I didn’t want any exams or projects conflicting with my work schedule. I also made note of how the overall grade system is broken down. The whole thing seems pretty fair and everything was spaced out enough where I wouldn’t feel too overwhelmed with the workload.

“… and that pretty much wraps it up. Does anyone have any questions?” I tuned in just as he was pulling the first class to a close. No one raised their hands, so he dismissed us with a reminder to read the first chapter of the textbook and to check for any emails.

“So do you want to grab lunch?” Tony asked from beside me. I contemplated whether or not to go with him. He must have seen the hesitation in my face because he quickly added, “Not as a date or anything, I just wanted to grab a bite and I didn’t want to do it alone.”

“Sure,” I smiled, “Let me just ask the professor a quick question about his office hours and I’ll meet you at the food court.”

“Sweet, I’ll see you in a bit.” With that, Tony gathered his stuff and exited the back door. 

I focused my attention on the podium, seeing a gaggle of girls surrounding him asking redundant questions. From what I could hear, their questions could have been answered if they’d read the syllabus. I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt, they were probably more focused on him rather than what he was saying during class. I waited a few more minutes for them to finish up before I made my way to him.

“So do I call you Doctor or Professor now?” I laughed. 

“From you, I’d respond to either,” he replied warmly. The comment made me blush. If he looked into my eyes at that moment, he’d see more stars in them than the night sky. I bit my lip to stop the idiotic grin from spreading across my face. 

He’s your professor, get a hold of yourself.

“How can I help?” he asked, bringing me back to the original reason as to why I was standing in front of him without a cash register between us. 

I cleared my throat. “Um, I was wondering if it was possible to see you outside your normal office hours? I usually work the morning shifts and I don’t want to flood your emails with my questions.” I asked.

“Of course,” he said. “You can come to my office at whatever time works best for you. I know balancing a work and school schedule can be hard. Besides, I’m usually there handling paperwork anyway.” He gave a small shrug, pushing his hands in his pockets. 

“Thank you so much. I look forward to the rest of the semester Professor Reid.” I liked the way his newfound honorific rolled off my tongue. 

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

“Goodbye, Professor.” With that, I left and headed out to meet Tony. 

I was able to find him at the food court. We got some food and chatted more about our classes as well as life outside of school. He made it easy to be his friend, and it was nice having someone to talk to. He works as a waiter so we shared our customer service horror stories and tales of sneaking food at work. It was a nice distraction that took my mind off of Dr. Reid and the ongoing battle of calling him Doctor or Professor. As Tony rambled, my mind wandered about other things I’d like to call Spencer instead. 

●●●

In that short span of two weeks, we already had an exam, an oral presentation, and a report on the psychoanalysis of serial killers. Not one day had been wasted, but this is what to be expected from a summer course. The essay was due the day before. Now we had to wait for our grades which gave us a moment to take a breath.

I was worried that my paper was subpar; especially since I chose to write about Andrei Chikatilo, a serial killer from Ukraine. He wasn’t as popular as those in America, so I ended up spending hours on deep research to find substantial information about his crimes. It also didn’t help that some of the original reports weren’t in English. I had worked hard, and hoped Professor Reid would see that, even if my writing could sometimes be a little weak. I was worried about the grade as our research papers held the weight of 20% of our final mark. 

“Hello? Earth to Y/N! Anyone in there?” Hazel’s voice pierced through my worry bubble, her hand waving in front of my face. I shook my head, trying to focus on restocking the coffee beans.

“Sorry Haze, I’m thinking about this class.”

“Funny you say that; your favorite professor just walked in. Thought you might want to take his order.” She wagged her brows at me, making kissy faces as I hurried to the front register, trying my best to not let my eagerness be so glaringly obvious.

There he was, in his usual handsome glory, patiently waiting for me to take his order. He greeted me with a small smile that I happily returned.

“Hey Doc, what can I get you today?”

He debated for a moment before saying, “Surprise me.”

“Gotcha.” I already had an in my head; it’d been a while since he asked me to make him a random drink so I’d had plenty of time to plan. We got an early shipment of ingredients for our fall-themed drinks and I figured he would appreciate some pumpkin spice in his caffeine. “How are the papers coming along?” I asked casually as I rang him up.

“Pretty well. I’m almost done, so you’ll all receive your grades later today.” Wow, that was fast. I wondered if he stayed up reading all those papers to be done by today. Probably not, a TA must have helped him.

“I am a bit nervous about mine, especially since it’s worth a huge part of our final grade.” I really wanted to get an A in this course, but it was hard juggling everything in such a short amount of time.

“Don’t worry about it too much,” he reassured. “I haven’t properly finished yours yet but it looked great just from what I’ve seen thus far.” His words gave me a little reassurance.

“Thanks. I put a lot of effort into it. Let me grab your coffee now.” Spencer walked towards the pick-up station while I grabbed a venti cup for his drink. Just when I was about to make his order, I saw another familiar face come up to the register. “Tony, hey!” I shouted, placing the cup back down, “What can I get you?” 

This was the first time he’d been here, despite him saying for the past few days that he’d stop by for a visit, even with the promise of a cake pop if he did. It was nice to see another familiar face.

“Hey coffee girl, how you doin’ today?”

“Just peachy. My feet are killing me, though.” Just saying the words caused the ache on the soles of my feet to spike higher. I thanked my lucky stars I was almost done with this eight-hour shift.

“Give me the chance to sweep you off your feet, I promise you won’t regret it.” he offered boldly. It wasn’t the first time he’d joked about taking me out. I laughed, especially since he had a girlfriend. She met us for lunch one day and we became fast friends- she was an incredibly sweet and intelligent girl, polite and elegant as well. It is a wonder how his frat boy charm won her over but opposites attract, I guess.

“Shut up, Casanova. What are you gonna have?”

“I’ll have a grande iced matcha latte, please.” I should’ve known. He told me that he loves matcha flavored food and drinks the first time we grabbed lunch after class. He had complained that there was no good place to get one on campus. 

“Coming right up.” I quickly filled his order since it was faster to make compared to the pumpkin spiced latte. I handed him his bribe-cake pop, matcha flavor of course, while he waited for me to finish making his drink.

“By the way, we’re still studying at the library for the exam later tonight, right?” Tony asked.

“Yup, I’ll meet you at 8.”

“Copy that, see you later coffee girl.” He turned to leave while I turned to make Professor Reid’s order. I put extra whip cream and a bit more syrup to satiate his sweet tooth. I grabbed a fresh chocolate muffin from the display case and popped it into a bag for him as well, drawing yet another pun on the good doctors bag. “Thanks for being such a TEA-rrific professor!”

“Here ya’ go Doc,” I called out before placing his drink and muffin on the counter. I looked up to see him no longer smiling. “Is everything okay?”

Ignoring my question, he said, “I wasn’t aware you were so close to Mr. Montgomery.”

“Oh yeah, we study together once in a while.” I could have sworn I saw his frown deepen before his features became void of any emotions. He shifted his eyes downward, his hand moving rapidly to grab the cup.

“I should get going.”

“Oh, okay” Before I could say goodbye, he was already halfway out the door. 

That was weird. I looked at the counter and noticed that he left the cupcake behind. Maybe he was in a rush?

I shook my head. I needed to concentrate on making it through the last couple of hours of work. 

●●●

I made my way to the classroom, smiling at Tony as he pulled out my seat for me. Professor Reid walked in a few minutes later, his tall figure drawing all the attention to the center of the small stage. He let us know he already graded the papers and that they would be distributed by the TA before the end of class. I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach but decided to brush it off and pay attention in class. Despite my attempts to focus on his lecture, I found my mind wandering every so often anyway.

I couldn’t help but think he was less animated today. Usually, he taught with such passion that the class couldn’t take their eyes off him. But today, it felt as if we were all in a boring seminar with an ancient professor. Tony kept glancing at the clock, probably also wondering why time felt like it was going by so slowly. 

I couldn’t shake the unsettled feeling the entire class. It didn’t help matters that every time I would raise my hand to answer a question, he would call on another student. What the hell did I do? 

I decided to tune out the rest of the class. There is no point in being an actively engaged student if I wasn’t going to get treated like one. I’d just get the notes from Tony later.

Thirty minutes before the end of class, the TA handed out our essays while Professor Reid wrapped. 

“Some of you did very well, while a few others struggled with the assignment.” His eyes landed on mine as he said that. It was the first time he had glanced in my direction the whole class. He moved on to the other side of the room. My mind was probably just playing tricks on me. “If you have any questions you can see me at my office hours next week or send me an email. You are dismissed.”

The TA finally made his way over to me, handing my essay in a slight fold. I looked at the grade on top and almost dropped the paper. My heart sped up as I stared at the letter in bright red ink. No way, no way this could be my report. I looked at the right-hand corner and saw my name at the top. I read through the first page and saw they were indeed my words.

How the fuck was it possible that I got a D on this paper? I knew my writing wasn’t the strongest, but a D? 

“How you’d do?” Tony asked. For a moment I forgot I was in a room with other people.

I cleared my throat, trying to relive the lump so that he didn’t hear the croak in my voice. “Umm, not what I expected. I’m going to try to speak to him about it.” Tony was a smart kid, so I was sure he could see how tense I was. Luckily he didn’t question me any further and instead told me he’d text me later before leaving the classroom.

Fortunately, there were no other students in the classroom to slow me down this time. I walked right up to the podium, watching as Professor Reid placed some papers in his satchel. 

“Professor, I need to speak with you.”

“Not now, I’m busy,�� he replied, not even bothering to glance in my direction. This can’t be real. The sweet, kind Doc could not be the man acting like a total asshole right now.

“I really need to discuss with you my paper,” I pressed, raising my voice a little louder in an attempt to get his attention. That was wishful thinking on my part since he continued to fiddle with his satchel.

“I said I’m busy,” he uttered once again, his voice void of any emotion. He was about to walk past me, ignoring my whole being. His blatant disregard made my cheeks burn, and not in the usual way they usually did when I was around him.

“Spencer,” I barked, “We need to talk. Now.” For a few moments, he stood in front of me, his back facing my direction.

I was about to speak again before I heard him say, “My office. Half an hour.” He exited, leaving me alone in an empty classroom. The only things keeping me company were the fuming feelings swirling inside me and the failed paper clutched at my fist. 

●●●

I knocked on his office door ten minutes earlier than he’d told me. The anger in my gut brewed hotter the longer I waited. As soon as I heard a “Come in,” I rushed through the door, slamming it behind me. He regarded me coolly, but didn’t comment on my actions. 

“What can I do for you Ms. (Y/L/N)?” I walked up to his large desk, not bothering to take a seat in the chair in front of me. I took a moment to calm myself down before replying.

“Well, you can start by explaining to me why I got such a low score on my paper.” I guess he didn’t like being the only one of us sitting down because he stood up and leaned against the wall behind him.

“It did not meet the requirements for a passing grade as outlined in the rubric. The information given was boring and the overall topic was uninteresting. It was tedious to get through,” he responded nonchalantly, like he was giving me a weather report.  

“You said that you enjoyed it so far.” I rebutted, placing my hands on the desk. I needed something to offer me stability so that I wasn’t visibly shaking.  

“I’d mistaken your work for another student’s. Maybe Mr. Montgomery,” he dryly clipped.

A bitter laugh escaped me as I put the puzzle together. Was- was he serious? Was this man acting like this because of Tony? The audacity! The laugh that bubbled from my lips must have unsettled him. He left his position from the wall in favor of standing in front of me.

“You want to know what I think?” I didn’t give him a chance to respond before continuing, “I think you’re jealous that I have another guy that isn’t you getting friendly with me at the shop and because of your inability to keep your---“

“That is enough,” he grounded out, shaking his head. But I didn’t stop talking.

“--private feelings away from your professional ones, you decided to give me a failing grade. Do you know how hard I worked in-” my voice rose up higher and higher until I was yelling.

“I said that’s enough,” he said again, louder this time. But I wasn’t done.

“-this class? This is my life, my fucking future on the line. I’ve told you how important this all is to me and you don’t even give a shit! You’re going to let your interpretation of my relationship with another student influence the way you do your job? And here I thought you were a decent man, Professor.” I hissed, “Do you even give a damn abo-”

“Enough,” he roared, slamming his hands on the desk and caging me against the wood. His breathing was matching the upbeat pace of my own. His quick movement and the sheer volume of his voice caught me off guard, effectively silencing me. 

“I don’t deserve to be punished over your envy,” I whispered, locking eyes with him in a steady gaze.

“You want to see a real punishment, darling?” he hissed, the heat of his words almost breaking my glare, his breath fanning along my face.

We stared at one another for a while, neither of us willing to be the first to back down. The tension between us kept rising and rising until the inevitable happened. I couldn’t be sure who made the first move but before I knew it, our lips collided with a mix of rage and desperation. My arms draped around his neck as he pressed me on to the desk. He placed his hands on the back of my thighs, lifting me up high enough until I was perched on the cool wooden surface.

Spencer’s lips were soft, a stark contrast to the harsh way he was kissing me. His tongue parted my lips, gliding over mine with fervor. I couldn’t help but moan as he rolled his hips into me. He continued his rough grind, keeping my legs open as we moved as close together as our bodies would allow. He overwhelmed my senses- the smell of him, the taste of him, the feel of him. Everything was making me absolutely feral for this man. 

I never expected the gentle Dr. Reid to be so fervent, so sensual. The kindhearted, sweet professor who regularly drank his weight in caffeine never gave me this impression. But then again, I’m sure he was shocked by my attitude as well. He knew me as the friendly, bubbly barista, now student, who enjoyed his class. He was about to meet a whole new side of me, just like I was going to for him.

Spencer pulled away from me, our mouths making an audible ‘pop’ sound from the sudden separation. I tried to catch my breath as he stared at me, our chests rising and falling together. If I were to move a bit closer to him, we would be touching once again.

He took a few steps back before motioning me to step in front of him. “I want you to get down on your knees. Now.” I wasn’t going to argue with him, mainly because I wanted the exact same thing he did. I kneeled down, keeping my eyes on his face.

“You going to shut me up, Professor?” I teased, feeling powerful, even though he was looming over me. He didn’t reply, just continued to look down on me with those honey colored eyes- full of lust and rage.

I watched as he slowly placed his hands on his slacks, undoing the belt and buttons. He drew down his pants and boxers at the same time, just low enough to reveal his impressive size. My mouth salivated at the sight of his bulge as he came closer to me.

“We’re going to put that smart mouth to better use. Open.” He said, gripping my face between his fingers, forcing me to follow his orders. I opened my mouth slightly, not giving him exactly what he wanted. Instead of ordering my mouth to open further like I expected, he placed his thumb inside. He pushed the digit deep, pressing it against my tongue. I moaned around the finger, softly nibbling at the skin. He continued to slide his finger within my mouth before dragging it out completely. He wiped the excess spit on my cheek before lightly smacking it. The small shock of pain sent a shiver down my spine.

“Open, and do it right this time.”

I obeyed, opening wide enough to accept him into my mouth. My lips were stretched almost uncomfortably in an attempt to fit around him. He was so hot and thick, I couldn’t help but hum at the taste of him on my tongue. The soft “fuck” that fell from his lips had me purring around him. I went to place my hands on the remaining portion that couldn’t fit, but he batted them away.

“You’re using only your mouth.” 

Fine, have it your way, Sir. 

I placed my hands behind me as I bobbed my head, hallowing my cheeks with every rise. His shallow thrusts encouraged me to suck harder. I slowly pulled away to run my tongue against the vein protruding on the underside of his cock. I was rewarded with a groan escaping his lips.

“I should have known that you would be so good at this, darling,” he said, his voice slightly hoarse as he tried to control his grunts.

I made sure to look in his eyes as I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock. The face he made was purely angelic. The muscles of his neck protruded more evidently and his breathing became more labored. I placed him back in my mouth, this time taking my time to go down on him.

“That’s right, Princess. Show me what a good girl you are for me.” He moaned as I felt his hands weave in my hair before he pushed my head down on to him, causing me to gag around him, tears pricking my eyes. He continued his thrusts into my mouth, barely allowing me a chance to breathe. My nose repeatedly touched the base of him as I swallowed around his hard length.

Spencer tightened his fingers in my hair and I knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.  The pace was brutal, but I enjoyed the rough treatment. Knowing that I was the one making him feel good was such a turn on. He buried himself deep in my throat after a few more thrusts to finish. I swallowed his release like the greedy brat that we both now knew I was.

He eventually pulled out, a satisfied sigh leaving his lips. I swiped the back off my hand across my mouth to clean off any leftover spit and cum.

“Get up,” he ordered, his voice hoarse.

I did so, rubbing the ache in my knees as I slowly rose. “I want you bent over the desk,” he continued.

“I want you to answer my previous question.” I quipped.

“You’re not in the position to be making commands,” he growled. He wrapped his fingers in my hair again, pulling just roughly enough so that I was looking up at his face. “If you want this to end well for you, I suggest bending over my desk before I stuff my cock in that bratty little mouth of yours again.”

He released me, eyes still on my face waiting for me to follow through on his order. I turned to his desk and did as he asked, bending over the wood until my chest laid flat against the surface. I waited as patiently as I could for him. It felt as if I was in this position for an eternity before he touched me. He pushed both my underwear and skirt down to my knees before placing his hands on my hips. I heard it before I felt it- the smack on my ass that caused me to yelp.

“Fuck, Spencer. What the—” I was cut off with another resounding smack.

“Did you really think that I wasn’t going to give you a real punishment, darling?” I took a deep breath as another shiver went down my spine. He had no business sounding so hot right now. Another smack, this time on my opposite cheek, had me biting down on my lip to stop myself from crying out.

“This” *SMACK* “Is” *SMACK* “What” *SMACK* “Happens” *SMACK* “To” *SMACK* “Bratty” *SMACK* “Little” *SMACK* “Girls” *SMACK*. A sob ripped from my chest as the last blow landed. My ass was on fire and surely littered with his hand prints.

“You’re lucky I’m in a good mood since you sucked me off so nicely, or I would have made that worse.”

Gee, thanks.

“You look like such a dirty slut like this.” I felt a finger enter me easily, the wetness gathered there making my entrance ready to take him. “So wet. Was it the spanking that got you like this, or your mouth around my cock?” A moan was my only reply as he added another finger, the two digits moving in a scissoring motion. 

“Are you gonna be my sweet girl, now?” He asked as I moved my hips along his fingers, desperately trying to seek some more relief for the fire burning between my thighs as his mouth littered marks along my thighs. I closed my eyes, focusing on the pleasure he was giving me as he curled his fingers, a slow moan falling from my lips. He pulled them out of me, wiping the slickness against my still burning ass. Fucking bastard. I wiggled my hips against him, hoping he would grant me a reprieve and put his fingers back inside me. Instead, he spanked my ass one more time- one quick, sharp blow against the bruised cheek.

Just when I was about to yell at him, he placed the head of his member against my entrance. He moved up and down my drenched entrance before penetrating me in one full thrust. I took a short breath in, trying to get used to feeling so full. He was stretching me out in the most amazing way.

Spencer waited until I was grinding against him before he pulled out and pushed back into me. “Look at you, such a wanton little bitch aren’t you?” He could call me whatever he wanted, as long as he didn’t stop fucking me.

He kept a steady pace, making sure to grind into me every time he slammed back in. The obscene sound of our skin smacking against one another’s and the moans escaping our throats was an erotic symphony that had my body heat raising the temperature in the room.

He hitched my leg on top of the desk, entering in an angle that made the pleasure so much better. I couldn’t stop the whines that kept escaping my mouth every time he pounded into me. His hand stayed upon my leg, holding me down and limiting my movements. His nails dug into the skin so harshly I was sure there would be bruises left in their wake.  

“Fuck, you feel so good wrapped around me,” he hissed under his breath. “Should have known you just needed to be fucked like the cheap whore you are.” He sped up, hips snapping at an almost punishing pace. The desk creaked every time he slammed into me. I hoped no one was nearby to hear what was going on. A whine left my throat when I felt his fingers rub against my clit. I was so close now.

“Should I stay inside you? Fill you up so you walk around campus carrying my child?” He growls, his pace increasing with each passing moment. “Knock you up so the whole campus knows what a whore you are for me?” He asks, earning a cry ripped from my throat. 

“Who’s fucking you?” he grunted. I don’t know how he expected me to form a coherent statement at this current moment. My eyes could barely stay open at this point. 

“Spencer, please.” He smacked the outside of my thigh.

“Try again, who’s fucking you?” 

“You are, Doctor.” Apparently, that was the wrong answer too, because it earned me another smack on my thigh. I had tears streaming down my face from the pleasurable pain he was giving me.

“You have one more chance or else I’m not letting you come. Now, who’s is fucking you?”

“Professor Reid!” I cried out.

“That’s right darling. Now come on my cock.” A harsh bite on my neck was the ultimate push that had me seeing stars. Spencer thrusted a few more times before fully sheathing himself within me.

He slumped over me, the feel of his breath against my neck causing me to shiver once more. We took a moment to have the high leave our body before he pulled out of me, a gasp leaving the both of us. Spencer was the first to break the silence between us.

“Would you like to have dinner with me?” he asked, his voice a bit shy. 

I giggled at his demeanor. A few moments ago, he was fucking me senseless and spanking me over his desk like a porno, and now he was asking me out to dinner. 

“Absolutely,” I smiled. “But I should probably cancel my study plans.” I quickly added. 

He led me to the faculty bathroom so I could freshen myself up. When I emerged, he was back to being the prim and proper professor I knew him to be. Just before we left his office, he leaned down and whispered, “By the way, you got an A.”

[mery-cm99]

In the Stars (Cp.7)

In the Stars Masterlist

Description: Harper doesn't want any pilot near her, at least as far as possible. But that's really difficult when you work around them. She has managed to keep her “no pilots'' rule to date. That's until Bradley Bradshaw enters the Hard Deck like a great wave, destroying everything in his way and smashing all the walls Harper had built all this years ago.

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x plus size!OC

Warnings: Mention of trauma, blood, crashes and sad stuff in general. There's some spice and mention of sex, but nothing too explicit. English is not my first language, so sorry in advance for any grammar  or spelling errors.

Rating: Teens and up

Chapter: 7/11

Word Count: 2.418 words.

As soon as she arrived at the base that Monday, she was informed that the mission had accelerated by a week. The pilots would have a week less to prepare. And if those news weren’t bad enough, the morning only got worse a couple of hours later when her medical wing got crowded. In one of their simulations, Coyote, one of the pilots, had fainted in mid-flight from the stress of over nine Gs forces. Harper checked him to make sure he was okay, he really was, but the woman could not shake the horrible sensation out of her body, which only got worse when two more pilots arrived looking for her. Phoenix and Bob had had to eject from their plane when their two engines burst into flames. After letting Coyote go  —to whom she recommended some rest if he became dizzy— she installed the other two pilots in the beds of her medical wing. They weren’t really hurt, some bruises and cratches, but she preferred to keep them under observation all night to be sure.

As soon as she finished examining them and asked them to rest, she left the room like a whirlwind, not caring that she was still in her white robe and the stethoscope hanging from her neck. She opened the door of the break room with a blow and stepped forward to Maverick, who turned to look at her, surprised.

“What were you thinking? This mission is stupid, a suicide! If you don’t value your life enough to protect it, you should at least avoid risking your pilots’ ” she shouted angrily, pointing her index finger at his chest. She was about to jump on him, trying to clear his ideas with her hands, but a pair of arms held her by the waist and took her away from the instructor. She was breathing deeply, so she soon noticed the musk of Bradley and the warmth of his arms and chest.

“It’s the only way, Harpie. The only way they can survive this mission. I’m thinking of my pilots” he asured, tensed, almost sad. Maverick knew exactly why she was this mad. “Belive me, if there was any other way, we’d try”

But that didn’t make Harper relax a bit. When the man left to go to see his pilots, who had stayed with the nurse, Bradley let her go. If she wasn’t so angry, Harper would have given more importance to the feeling of cold and nakedness her body felt once he was away. 

“Are you okay?” he asked worried at the scene of the woman walking around the room, running her hands through her hair and grumbling under her breath every frew moments. He became even more worried when she raised her head to look at him and saw that her eyes were red and bright with tears that hadn’t  fallen yet. Her nose had also acquired a reddish hue.

“This can’t be happening. When I was told about the accident I… It was like… I was there again, watching him fall…” But she couldn’t finish a sentence, which made her feel worst. 

“Hey, hey. Calm down. Breath”  he asked, reaching out to her and putting his hands on her shoulders, trying to bring her back to reality, remind her that everything was okay. “I’ve been told that Phoenix and Bob are fine, that they’re gonna be fine. You’ve seen them. You know I’m telling the truth”

“But not him. He’s not coming back. And I couldn’t do anything to save him” she whispered in sobs. Bradley drew her to his chest and hugged her tightly, letting her cry. He didn’t know what she was talking about, but they’d have time. Now he just had to calm her down, and to do that he had to let her cry.

Harper grabbed the fabric of Bradley’s jumpsuit tightly and buried her face in his chest so he wouldn’t see her cry. She’d been living with that ghost for years, fearing the day it would be strong enough it could drown her, it seemed that day had come.

When he stopped hearing her cry, Bradley parted gently, not letting go of her fully, and he lifted her face softly.

“You can tell me. It will do you good to talk about it” he whispered, brushing a lock of her chocolate hair out of her cheek, moistened by tears. Harper kept clinging to his jumpsuit tightly, as if she was afraid that something would take her if she didn’t hold on.

The brunette forced herself to open her fists and let him go. She ran her hand through her hair and looked away from him.

“I was fifteen. That day I had run from my history teacher to come to the break room with the pilots. My father was doing a simulation with his pilots and I liked coming here to see them. I was joking with one of them, assuring him I was gonna kick his ass at cards that afternoon, when I heard one of the pilots say on the radio that my father was flying too close to the ground. Then came the commotion. They all started running, but I was in shock, I didn’t undestand what was going on. It was Ava who explained it to me later. My father had tried to do a risky maneuver. He was so close to the ground that it didn’t give him time to eject. They couldn’t do anything to save him.“

Bradley approached her again and took her hand, knowing how hard those memories were. But she didn’t turn to look at him, her eyes were fixed on the radio, as if she was listening to that message again.

“I was only fifteen when i was orphaned, when all I got at the funeral was a folded flag and the pitiful looks of the people who lived with me and of people i didn’t even knew. And then Child Services came, saying they had to look for my next of kin to take care of me. The closest they found was a distant aunt, whom I had never seen, and who lived on the other side of the country.”

Bradley shook her hand unconsciously, imagining how hard it was for little Harper to undestand that she had lost everything and that they were going to take her away from the only thing she’d ever know in her life.

“Did you go to live with her?” he asked, not wanting her to shut on him now.

“Ava refused to let me go. She asked for my adoption and pulled all the strings she could. It seemed I had gotten the affection of many important people throughout my life in the base. So Ava got my custody and took me to live with her '' she finished, finally taking her eyes off the radio and towards their hands clasped. “That’s how my life turned upside down and at the same time remained the same as always. I was still surrounded by the same people, but was missing the most important of them, my father. That day i promised myself I would keep pilots out of my life as much as possible”

They stayed quiet for a moment, Harper remembering that day again and Bradley thinking of what to do or say now. He knew condolences didn’t do much, they were rehearsed words that did nothing to relieve the other person.

“Do you want me to walk you back to the medical wing?” he asked at the end. His classes were temporarily paused due to the accident, but her work had just begun. Harper nodded, so Bradley led the way through the base without letting go of her hand, turning occasionally to look at her. She seemed to be calming down. 

It was the second time Bradley entered that room, but the previous time he didn’t paid too much attention to the decoration, he was way more interested in his new doctor, who also had served him a drink the night before. He looked at her desk, perfectly tidy, and the closet behind, full of folders. Next to the closet, however, he found the most striking thing about the room. The wall over the desk was full of photos. He approached there, full of curiosity, as Harper walked to the tap to pour herself a glass of water. All the images seemed to have been taken at the base, and the common factor was a smiling brunette girl growing up as his eyes went down the wall. 

“Whats this? A wall of fame?” he asked with a small smile pointing at the collage. Harper let out a laugh that made him feel better.

“It’s my wall of fame” she answered walking back to him with her glass in hand. “They’re photos of me with people who have been in my life, whether temprary” she began, pointing out in general, at the pilots, “as more permanent” she added, this time pointing to a image in particular. A younger Harper was in it, dessed in military uniform with a diploma in her hand and a huge smile on her face. By her side was an old woman, who embraced her, cleary proud. Bradley assumed that was the famous Ava Williams, the former base doctor and Harper’s foster mother. He looked at the other photos out of curiosity. He recognized some of the pilots he had come across over the years he had spent on the Navy or some other he had seen in other photos, like Tom “Iceman” Kazansky or Vice Admiral Simpson himself. Bradley wasn’t surprised when he found Maverick in one of them. He had baby Harper in his arms, she couldn’t be over two years old, and the man was looking at the camera laughing like the little girl had done something funny. She had a blue blanket in one hand and a toy plane in the other. 

He was indeed surprised to see the next two. The first one was of the girl standing up, still with her blanket and plane, but this time the pilot was crouching at her height and holding her by her chubby hips to keep her steady. He wasn’t even looking at the camera, all his attention was on the little girl, smiling fondly at her. The baby was turned in his direction and had the plane stuck to her chest as if she didn’t want it to fall while the other was up, pointing to the man’s moustache, as if it was really funny. The other photo wasn’t taken at the base, but in the Hard Deck. Bradley kew it was the bar because Harper was sitting on top of the piano he had played the night they had met. She was still two and next to her, also on the piano, was a four-year-old boy who was leaning back so he could sing at the top of his lungs while the girl laughed. He had his head covered by a cowboy hat that was too big for him. Bradley knew he was blonde without seeing his hair. 

“No way” he murmured in surprise, drawing Harper’s attention, who looked at him confused as he peeled the photo off the wall. In doing so, the woman saw someting on the back of the image. It was her father’s neat handwriting on black marker: 

Harper and Bradley

Hard Deck

1986

“Bradley…” she said, as surprised as him, aproaching his side to see the photograph from closer. It had been hanging on her wall for three years, she had put them there shortly after she started working at the base. A way to never forget her past. But there were too many photos, so many faces and names that she couldn’t remember them all. An idea went through her mind and she took off the previous photo, the one with the smiling blond man with a mustache. On the back she found another name and year:

Nick “Goose” Bradshaw.  1986.

“That’s my father” he confirmed. “They must have taken it shortly before his accident” he continued staring at the man’s face. “We were here. My mother and I. We came to see my father and Maverick while they were in the academy. I guess we should have gone to the Hard Deck with my family and your father and they took our picture” he added, although there was no way to confirm it, because none of the three remained alive.

Then something rose from the back of the pilot’s mind. 

“It was you.. “ he whispered, reliving that day, the memory he though he had forgotten. It was blurry and had gaps, but it was real.

Bradley laughed amused as the two-year-old next to him moved her toy plane in front of her eyes. He had a similar one in his hand and repeated her action, doing maneuvers in the air. For the four-year-old boy, that was the most fun game in the world, to imagine it was his father’s plane, traveling the sky at full speed. But then the girl lowered her arm and her plane accidentally hit the ground. The baby lifted it up again as if nothing had happened.

“No, Harpie. If the plane crashes, it can no longer fly” he explained, still moving his.

“No vroom?” she asked confused, stirring over the blue blanket to get her plane higher.

“No vroom” he confirmed, feeling so much older having to explain those things to her. It was like when his dad explined to him how the TV or the piano keys worked. “You can’t crash” he added with a smile, proud to be able to show he also knew things that others didn’t. Then the door opened again and Bradley was even more excited to see his mother entering the room. “Mom! I’m showing Harper how planes work” he said still sitting on the floor next to the girl. But Carole’s smile didn’t reach her eyes. Little four-year-old Bradley knew something was wrong with his mother when she ducked down to his height with red eyes. 

“I’m glad, honey” she said, although it didn’t seem that way. 

“Are you okay, mom?” he asked worried. 

The girl began to make noise, trying to imitate the sound of planes, and Bradley’s gaze turned to her, to see her continue flying through the air with her plane while his mother told him his father would never do it again.

Taglist:

@luckyladycreator2

@chaoticassidy​

[omg-imagine]

Loopy

Pairing: Johnny Silverhand x female!V

Summary: V is a little loopy from her anesthesia, and Johnny finds it amusing.

Words: 1.7k

A/N: Requested by @thescorpionrodriguez. Hope you enjoy!

“Come on, V, wake the fuck up already.”

Silence. Johnny swears he could hear a pin drop.

V’s body remains lax on the bed; her eyes wound shut as if she were sound asleep. Slow and rhythmic, the rise and fall of her chest were calming, lulling. For once, she looks to be in peace, a rare moment for those who live and breathe in Night City.

She had been lucky. Extremely lucky. Two or three millimeters more to the right and the bullet that pierced her abdomen would have hit an organ. By some miracle, it missed anything vital and had exited out cleanly. It did fucking hurt judging by the sound of her agonizing groans, but here she was—still kicking, still alive.

And Johnny’s relieved that she was. They may not get along at times, but he genuinely cares for V. Hell, he would even consider her a good friend. She could call him a snarky asshole as often as she wants (and she does), yet he knows that deep down, she too has grown a soft spot for the rocker boy.

It’s been hours since the mission that went awry, and Johnny was getting pretty antsy. Vik had to put V down while he worked on repairing her cyberware. Nothing major, though the anesthesia should have certainly worn out by now. Much to Silverhand’s surprise, the ripperdoc wasn’t acting all too worried about it. He thinks V could use the sleep since he’s aware of how little she’s been getting.

Unfortunately, Johnny was all but a patient man. Bored out of his damn mind, he’s tired of roaming around the operating room, waiting and waiting for V to regain consciousness. Johnny’s more than ready to leave, perhaps grab a smoke afterward. He hasn’t gone this long without one lately, and he can’t enjoy one if V’s lying here, knocked out cold.

Nearly the rest of the day flies by, and the sun begins to set. That’s when he feels it; a spark—a familiar jolt of electricity emitting in the depths of V’s mind. Johnny manifests by her bedside, watching as her body finally stirs awake. That’s my girl, he silently praises, a flicker of a smile playing on his lips. V’s eyes flutter open, taking a minute to survey her surroundings before her line of sight lands on him.

“Well, look who decided to come back to life,” Johnny quips, leaning closer. “You doing alright, kid?”

V doesn’t respond. Rather, she bursts into a fit of giggles out of nowhere.

What the fuck?

Bewildered, Johnny glances everywhere but notices nothing amusing of the sort. “Care to share what you find so funny?”

“You’re too good looking to be my nurse,” V drawls, no doubt experiencing side effects from the anesthesia.

“I’m no nurse, princess, but thanks,” he corrects her. Then, it dawns on him. “You recognize me?”

She blinks at him blearily, the gears in her head turning as she tries to put a name to the face. “I dunno, should I?”

“It’s Johnny. Johnny Silverhand. Ring any bells?”

Again, V chuckles, a light-hearted tone that Johnny rarely hears, but they were sweet music to his ears when he does.

“Nope, zero bells. Are you like my husband or something?”

Johnny’s eyes widen. “Husband? Oh, no, honey. We ain’t even gone on a date yet. I’d say, think of us as partners-in-crime.”

“Wait!” V blurts out, gasping. “I remember you. You’re from that band—Samurai, right? God, I used to listen to your songs a lot as a kid.”

“Huh, you told me you’d never heard of Samurai,” Johnny recalls, slightly entertained at this point. “Didn’t peg you as a fangirl, V. I’m flattered.”

“So, can I… y’know, get your autograph?”

Just before Johnny could continue playing around with a loopy V, Viktor strolls in with Misty in tow, both delighted to find the merc out of her prolonged slumber. He lingers by the foot of her bed as Vik explains to V what happened, but she doesn’t seem to be processing it. She stares at him, dazed, and Johnny wonders when she’ll be back to normal.

“The effects should go away in a few hours,” Vik informs Misty once he’s examined V. She’s healing nicely and isn’t complaining much, yet that could be because of all the painkillers she was jacked with. “I’d say watch over V until she can stand on her own two feet without tripping. Other than that, she’s good to go.”

“Where are we going?” a clueless V asks, looking back and forth between the two. “Is Johnny coming?”

Misty furrows her brow at her. “Johnny?”

“Yeah, mister sex on legs over there,” she points eagerly, and Johnny smirks at that. “I’m not done talking to him yet.”

Vik shakes his head before reminding Misty of the engram residing within V’s psyche. “Oh, yeah. Silverhand. Uh, I guess he could come, too. Don’t really have much of a choice there, doll.”

The walk back to V’s apartment was a journey in itself. Lucky for her, she was pushed in a wheelchair throughout it all as Johnny stays visible for her benefit. They reached the door just before the skies turned completely dark, the warmth and comfort of the room being somewhat familiar to V.

Misty carefully moves her onto the bed, propping her up with pillows behind her back before smoothing out the blankets covering her legs. Johnny observes from a distance, quiet in his pondering. He’s never seen V this vulnerable before. She’s always been incredibly independent, not to mention stubborn as hell. She won’t accept anyone’s help unless it’s dire, and even then, she’s reluctant to do so.

“You must be starving,” Misty comments once V is settled. “How about I get you somethin’ to eat downstairs. Better food than what’s here, if there’s any. Hang tight for a bit, ’kay?”

Nodding, Misty then heads out of the room, the front door sliding shut when she’s gone, leaving V in the presence of Johnny yet once again. He glitches to sit by the edge of the mattress as V stares at him incredulously. Her eyes shone what he could best describe as innocence; she truly has no clue of what they’ve gone through together in the previous months.

“Can you sing me a song?”

Johnny narrows his gaze, a small chuckle rumbling in his throat at her deliriousness. “I don’t do concerts anymore.”

“Oh, come on!” V pouts, almost child-like in her ways. “Pleeease?”

“No,” he refuses sternly before an idea comes to mind. “How about you sing to me? Said you were a fan. Give me a performance, and maybe I’ll consider it.”

V does not hesitate. On cue, she starts to serenade Johnny with one of Samurai’s greatest hits, going as far as imitating the gruffness of his voice. Off-beat and lyrics garbled, V belts out the tune confidently and loud enough that her irritated neighbors began banging on the wall, yelling at her to quit it.

She ignores them, of course.

Meanwhile, Johnny’s having the time of his life. It was quite endearing to him, although embarrassing for V if she later finds out about this. Yet, he doesn’t stop her. He encourages her even further by singing along, not giving a fuck in the world.

At the end of the song, Johnny laughs heartily along with V, who had crawled closer to him. Their eyes meet for a moment that seems to last longer than it actually did. His mouth quirks up in a smile, the kind of smile that was reserved for her and her alone.

“You’re pretty cool, Silverhand,” V mumbles sleepily, touching the cold surface of his chrome arm. Sighing, Johnny guides her drowsy self back under the covers, certain that she would crash in the next minute or two. “I think you should take me on a date. We’d be a hell of a couple together.”

“I think you’re going to regret everything that’s happened just now when you wake up in the morning,” he returns, and there was a slight pang in his chest.

V only hums in response, and he doubts he had even heard what he last said. It doesn’t matter, however. Johnny was sure she wouldn’t want to bring this up again.

---

“Fuck…” V exhales groggily, her blinking eyes wincing at the bright sunlight flooding into the room. She feels pain all over, her head throbbing immensely as she tries to gather memories of the day prior. It comes back in bits and pieces until suddenly, she remembers everything.

Everything.

“Good morning, princess,” Johnny greets after materializing before her, a cocky smirk plastered on his face. “How ya feelin’? Still loopy or need a little more refreshing from ‘mister sex on legs?’”

V’s reflexes are quick; Johnny doesn’t even register the pillow being hurled at him at first. He only realizes it when the empty glass bottles on the center table falls to the floor, shattering and making a mess.

“You’re lucky you’re just a hologram, right now,” V muttered as she stands up unsteadily.

Johnny holds his hands up. “You were the one who said it.”

Rolling her eyes, V reaches for the painkillers Misty left on the side. “Don’t remind me.”

“Alright, but at least let me tell you that you’ve got a shitty voice.”

“That’s why I don’t do karaoke,” V snorts before swallowing the pills and heading to the couch. “So, what do you think?”

“What do you mean?” Johnny questions.

“You, me, dinner?”

V waits for his reaction, smiling coyly at his confusion. When Johnny finally understands what she was referring to, he almost couldn’t believe it.

“Wait, are you fucking serious?”

She lets out a chortle. “Yeah, I’m serious. Don’t get me wrong, I’m mortified about last night, and I’m never going to let Vik knock me out with that stuff again. But hey, the truth came out. Might not have remembered you, but even while high as fuck, I knew I liked you.”

Briefly, they traded a look of longing, acknowledging at last this deeper connection they’ve felt for a while. It was much more than sharing a body, a mind. Something more profound than what Johnny and V have experienced before in their lives.

And though it was all entirely new to them, they both wanted it. They both wanted each other.

“Better get to it then,” Johnny flashes a grin, mirroring V’s own. “Wanna start with breakfast? Bet you’re hungry after skipping what Misty brought you, samurai.”

“Never going to live that one down, are ya?”

Shooting her a cheeky wink, Johnny throws on his stylish pair of aviators with ease.

“You bet your ass I’m not.”

Permanent Tags: @penwieldingdreamer @keandrews @feminine-machinegun @fanficsrusz @thehumanistsdiary @flaminasteroid @rowserein @unaspiringwritings @planetkt @breakthenight @baphometwolf666 @rdjloverxxx

Johnny Silverhand Tags: @silverse​ @overheardatthecontinental @life-is-fuucked @ataraxydreams

[the-fiction-witch]

first time together

REAL LIFE  COUPLE TBS X READER RATING: SMUT

I smiled nervous but excited sitting in the sofa in his very nice newly renovated house every so often sipping my glass of wine trying to not think about the tension in the room. We had been dating a good while now and due to work and such we hadn't really seen each other my h recently and one of those things when you can't see each other in a relationship is communication. He'd been working on some new things top secret so he couldn't tell me much but he'd been away alot and we'd been chatting mostly over whatsapp and phone calls. I had noticed our conversations some evening turn form our usual 'aww I miss you too', 'ill have to give you a huge hug when I get home' more to things like 'I wish you were here with me… if I had you here in this big bed maybe I wouldn't feel so lovely x', 'i miss you so badly, maybe when I get home you can stay over all weekend ;)' And so here I was with the intention to be staying l weekend, I had stayed the night before here and there not often as while it was getting revocated he was staying with his mum and sister so we didn't stay the night together too often. And more then anything the tension was there because as long as we've been dating, we hadn't had sex. We just hadn't yet been busy, and with all that was going on with work, and his house and the move it was all so busy and we just kinda never found the right time. It didn't bother me and honestly I don't think I bothered him that we didn't but I think we both need that this weekend it was probably gonna happen. And I was excited to say the least if a little worried. He wondered back from dropping something off in the kitchen and leant on the living room doorframe in his blue suit pants, light blue button down his hair fixed as usual even if I had been messing with it tonight, he smiled at me but with a little yawn I almost awwed it was kinda cute like a sleepy little puppy "Oohh sorry. Don't know what's up with me" he says "It's alright if your tired tommy you've had a long few days" "You wanna head to bed?" "Sure" I nodded I got up going to take my class but he stopped me "I'll deal with this and I'll lock up you go on up" he says kissing my cheek I smiled handing him the glass and heading up the stairs all the way to his bedroom I could tell he had cleaned it and made the bed with all fresh sheets before I got here I kicked my shoes off putting them close to my little suitcase with my stuff I tried getting at the zip to my dress but I was struggling damn stupid back zip "need some help?" He asks as he too arrived in the bedroom "Ohh uhh yes please" I blushed I heard him step over, I felt the heat of his breath on my neck his hands rested on my waist and slipped up to the back of my dress and the to of my zip he gently pulled the zip down making sure to be slow and tender he stopped about half way down my back just an inch or so below my bra clasps I felt him move closer and press a kiss to my shoulder "... We don't. Have to do anything you don't want to. You know that right?" He asks I blushed s little and turned to face him wrapping my arms gently around his neck to give him a cuddle "I want to. You've waited long enough" "It doesn't matter how long I've waited. If you don't want to we won't" he says giving my nose a kiss "okay kitten?" "I know but I want to" "Yeah? You… really want to?" "Very much. I've missed you" "Umm I've missed you too" he smirked almost moaning he was so excited pulling me as tight to him as possible kissing me rather hard I kissed back as fast as I could trying to keep at his speed his hands stroking the small of my back as we kissed he pulled back a moment getting some breath I smiled and took the opportunity to slip a hand down and begin undoing the buttons on his shirt he smirked looking down at my hand gently biting his lip he looks back up at me licking across his bottom lip before pulling the rest of the zip down "you uhh you look really nice tonight" he muttered almost like he'd forgotten about saying it "Thank you. You do too" I giggled "Can I?" He hinted tugging on my dress a little I nodded as I had now undone his shirt completely gently stroking on the smooth skin I had exposed. He pulled my dress off me gently making sure not to hurt me or damage my dress till it pooled at my ankles he looked me over "fuck." He gasped "you look amazing" he said almost unable to stop looking at me but within a second his hand moved to my neck and cheek "come here" he smirked pulling me close kissing my lips with so much passion and energy he pushed his shirt off throwing it to the floor with my dress and took both his hands away to work at his belt and pants our kisses quickly turned more passionate with tounge and heat in each kiss once he kicked his pants off his legs he held me close again I giggled a little pulling back and moving to kneel on the mattress maybe a millisecond after he joined me I sat up a little excited but nervous before I spoke "Did you need me to-" He interrupted before I even finished taking my hands in his intertwining our fingers "no thank you, I uhh I'm hard enough" he nods "Are you?" I giggled with a little bit of a smirk "Why don't you find out" he smirked pulling me gently back to a kiss I smirked into it moving a hand down to stroke across his boxers "fuck" he gasped as I stroked gently across his shaft thought the thin elastic fabric he didn't waste Time both hands slipping up to gently fondle my breasts "fuck you feel so good" he muttered between kisses before pulling back "you uhhh… I'll" he nodded I was a bit confused before he moved to his side of the bed going for his draw I then understood and gently kicked my panties off as he pushed his boxers off and got the condom sorted out "damn thing how is both ways wrong!" He complained "Theses only two options Thomas' "Yeah and apparently both are wrong" "Blowing on it helps" "Does it?... Ohh yeah a little bit I think it's that way." He muttered "ha! Got it how did you know something I didn't?" "How so?' "I imagine I've been putting on condoms a lot longer then you have?' "Ehh maybe, but teenage boys where always useless at it honestly I felt better doing it anyway atleast I knew it was right" "That's fair. I wonder if I was useless like that as a teenage boy?" "Maybe" 'i don't know. I don't think I was. Then again we used way more because my at that time girlfriend she had a thing with using the flavoured ones. Said she didn't like how my dick tasted" I giggled a little and gave his vock a gentle kiss "I think it's fine" I smiled "Umm well your welcome to give it a kiss anytime you want my little kitten" he cooed "Sorted?" "Yep. Sorted. So uhhh" he blushed a little "missionary? Cowgirl?... Doogy? It's up you kitten" "Missionary." I nodded "Umm okay." He smirked I laid down excitedly and he happily climbed ontop of me "you want me to stop, or slow or anything you just tell me okay?" "I will" "Promise?' 'I promise" "Okay" he smirked leaning down to kiss me I happily kissed him back gently opening my legs out he happily got snug between my legs wrapping them softly around his hips it seems odd to day but I barely felt him push inside he was so slow and gentle and the moment he got one little inch the rest just sort of slipped on in until he was hilt deep inside me, he waited a moment softly stroking my hips and stomach "fuck…. Uummmm kitty. Y/n christ you feel so fucking good" he moans pulling almost completely out and then diving hilt deep again I tightened my grip on him a little and he got faster barely stopping now between thrusts, I gently moaned everytime he pushed in as he seemed to rub so nicely on my inside every time so much I could feel his close it was making me his movements only winding me up more, his moans didn't stop either lost in his own little world. "Thomas…" "Yeah y/n?" "Faster" "Yeah? Faster? No problem kitten." He smirked getting much faster being a little mercilous on me kissing down my neck but I think part of what was to stop his moans I knew how close I was dancing at the edge of pleasure feeling it bubble every time he barely moved I tightened my legs around him often scratching his back a little between our kisses and moans I could hear his harsh breaths and the sound of the bed hitting the wall oven and over the slight squeak of bedsprings under us until I hit it grabbing him hard and trying not to scream but I'm not sure I did to well "Uuuuhhh! Uuhh ahhhhh!" I squealed feeling the waves of pleasure overwhelm me Only a few more and I felt him suddenly stop deep inside me "uughhh! Uuuuhhhhh!" He groaned rather loudly his eyes rolling back a moment before he pulled out and collapsed down next to me on the bed both of us getting our breath back after all that a little sweaty and overwhelmed "did I do okay?" "Spectacular" I giggled patting his stomach as my arm was all I was able to really move and it's the first place I reached on him "how did I do?" 'brilliantly y/n." He smiled holding my hand "ow. Oww. Ahh!" He complained "You okay?' "Yeah it was on a little tight that's all." He says tieing the condom up and throwing it in his bin "I am going for a ciggertte, you want anything?' "Could I have a glass of water?" "Of course. Back in a minute kitty' he smiled giving my lips a kiss before he climbed out of bed pulling his boxers back on and wiping his hair a little as he went off into the house I got up and slipped my bra off getting my panties back on and slipping on my cute little nightie before sitting back in bed, he returned handing me a glass of water "Thank you" I smiled taking it and having a little sip "Your welcome" he says before going to his window opening it and sitting on the windowsill rolling himself a ciggertte "Why don't you go out like normal?" I asked "Because I wanna be in here with you" he says "do you want me to go out with it?" "No it's okay" I smiled "You look cute in my bed" he says lighting his ciggertte up "I've been in your bed before?" "Yeah. Just… you look cute." "Perhaps it's a post orgasum glow" I giggled putting my water back "Might be" he chuckled "you did actually… right?" "Why?" He just shurgs "I like checking. Have a habit of… not always making girls cum' "We are complicated thing" "I know. This things a child's little four button wheel toy. That is a fucking enterprise control panel" he explained making me laugh "I like asking. I know I don't always do it and especially… the first time we ever, did it." "I did thomas. And I enjoyed it very much' I smiled blowing him a kiss he smiled and blew me s kiss too "... Sorry. Guess I kinda get a bit paranoid. My uhh my ex girlfriend used to fake it. When she wanted it to be over. Guess I kinda get a little worried" "Ohh I can't fake it I'm a terrible actress.' I laughed making him chuckle too "if I ever don't you shall be informed" "Okay. You do look amazing though" "Thank you I did my best" I giggled "it was a little hard with the bra there kinda bigger today then usual" "They look great" "Thank you Thomas. You look lovely too" I smiled as he finished his cigarette and came to bed "Thanks, I did my best tried to be colour coordinated had a fight with my hair to try and get it to do..m something that isn't this?" "Did you loose?" "I did loose" "Well" I smiled giving him a kiss "you fought bravely" "Your too sweet to me kitten" he cooed "you ready to get some sleep?' "Yeah, let's get some sleep" I smiled he turned the light off and we slowly got cosy "Goodnight y/n" "Goodnight Thomas" I smiled.

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! / Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here! / Part 15 Here! / Part 16 Here! / Part 17 Here! / < This is Part 18!>

Donate to Move to Higher Ground HERE!

* Your eyes open, and your hand flies to your throat 

* You’re thirsty

* You sigh as you sit up in your bed a little annoyed, you were having such a good dream too

* Only when you look to your night stand to grab your blood bottle, past it you see Edward sitting in your desk chair 

* “What are you doing?” Your voice is gravely, and you don’t wait for a response before uncapping your bottle and taking a sip

* Edward fidgets, his hands tugging with the sleeves of his shirt 

* “I like watching you sleep” he admits with a shrug and a boyish quirk of the lips. 

* Of course the dork likes watching you pretend to sleep

* Somethings haven’t changed from the books at least

* Maybe he’s part owl or something

* “Ugh, it’s already Sunday where does the weekend go?” You mumble, it’s around 3 am right now

* To be fair you know  half your Saturday went in self loathing in a tree, and the other half spent with your entire coven congratulating you and Edward on your new relationship

* “I call (Y/N) as my sibling the next time we move!” Emmett grins

* “That’s not fair, I was going to make them my sibling.” Jasper pouts

* “You already have Rosalie don’t get greedy”

* And then they all basically tried to plan out your wedding. 

* So the pressure is on

* At least you still have all Sunday before you have to face everyone at school though. You haven’t even tried to look at your phone 

* “Edward,” he perks up at the sound of your voice “were they really thinking vile thoughts about me?”

* His eyebrows thread together, head tilting to the side

* “Mike and Conner, you said they were thinking vile thoughts when you...came to get me.”

* It’s been bothering you for some time, Conner you can understand, but Mike? 

* You feel....betrayed 

* Edward averts his eyes, you’re half hoping he was lying to you and that he was just upset you were kissing other people

* “Were they thinking of r*ping me?” The second the words fall out of your lips he scampers closer, the chair screeching behind him.

* “No! No of course not-at least I don’t think so-“ His hand cups your face, the other cards through your hair. He sits on the edge of your bed carefully

* “They were thinking of taking you...” 

* oh well that’s no so bad.

* “At the same time”

* So that’s a little worse

* “So they were thinking about a threesome?” Edward winces at the word but nods

* You let out a sigh of relief, a threesome is still kinda sketchy but that’s just normal teenage boy brain for you 

* “At the time I didn’t appreciate their...vivid thoughts but” he looks into your eyes, like two pools of gold. “Maybe you wanted that.” 

*  He had acted instinctively upon seeing their thoughts, but in reality he wasn’t much better

* He had imagined that same needy expression on your face dozens of times 

* Maybe... you might have enjoyed an experience like that. After all two lovers are better than one

* He’s stuck in his own self loathing until he hears you laugh. 

* You’re actually laughing at him!

* He’s worried that you missed out on a vital human experience and you’re laughing!

* The nerve

* And yet, he feels his heart flutters when he see’s you smile at him

* “No, I’m good.” You laugh, and he feels himself let out a sigh of relief.

* “What about Jessica? Does she hate me now” Edward shakes his head

* “I think she might have a bit of a crush on you now.” He grins at your confused expression

* Well that’s unexpected

* You know you can’t really sleep but you feel exhausted, completely emotionally drained

* You snuggle back into the covers  And pat the space on the bed beside you

* “Sleep with me?” 

* Your face feels uncomfortably hot when you realize what you just said. “I just meant like-dream with me-not um no-“

* “I know what you meant” Edward says with a small smile

* He lies down on the other end of the bed, at least five feet away from you

* “You can come closer, you’re my boyfriend now, boyfriend privileges”

* Boyfriend 

* He’s always thought the word was garish. 

* A boy who was your special friend, how idiotic. But hearing the word tumble from your lips makes him unbelievably  happy 

* “What are boyfriend privileges?” He repeats carefully. Shifting so he is lying beside you

* “Normal couple stuff I guess, kissing, hugging, public affection-“ 

* and sex stuff

* “So I get to be as greedy with you as I want?” 

* You feel your face grow warm at the thought of Edward being as greedy with your body as he wants

* The way his hands would feel as they ghost over your body, his sweet rosemary and argon scent filling the air

* You can’t manage to get out words so you just nod, and he grins

* “Let’s go out tomorrow” 

* To like a hotel or?

* “We can go to the aquarium in Seattle, I think it’s supposed to rain so something indoors would be good.”

* Oh like greedy with your time

* That seems more on brand for Edward tbh 

* “The aquarium sounds nice”

* You curl into his chest, breathing in his scent deeply. He feels warm, not as warm as a human, but soothing in its own right. A gentle warmth, like the warmth from a candle

* You feel so safe here with him. You feel yourself drift off into sleep, and Edward’s arms tentatively wrap around you

* Your weight is pressed against him, and he can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have you pressed against him even more

* Your hands clawing at his chest as you plead

* “Great now I’m the one having vile thoughts” he murmurs to himself 

* You both sneak out early in the morning, while all your other coven members are still preoccupied 

* “Grab a couple blood bags and I’ll get some tumblrs” you nod, shoving it all quickly in his nike backpack, and you both practically jog to your jeep.

* The drive feels a lot shorter than you remember, it’s only 10 when you get there. 

* You sigh as you get out, you’re wearing faded blue jeans and a black coat that cinches at the waist

* Edward is dressed in a similar fashion, faded blue jeans, white shirt and a leather jacket

* Both of you wearing sunglasses 

* You don’t miss the looks you get as you walk across the parking lot. You already get a lot of attention as is  with the hot pink Barbie jeep

* But you and Edward together look like something straight out of a magazine catalog 

* “Did you already buy tickets?” You ask, your arm linking through his. 

* “Yeah, we just have to pick them up at the box” 

* It’s actually pretty busy, it is a weekend day though so it’s to be expected 

* “(Y/N)?” You turn to the voice and feel like the wind got knocked out of you

* “Jessica, Bella...” and there’s someone else with them, brown skin and long dark hair.

* Well he’s kinda hot, for a human that is

* “What are you doing here?” 

* They’re like the weirdest group for a Sunday hang out

* “My Dad had some tickets, he was going to come with my mom but I guess they got in a fight or something.” 

* You get the feeling that there’s more to it than that, but you’re just happy she’s talking to you after you kissed her without consent 

* “Oh um , this is Jacob we’ve been friends since we were kids.” 

* So this is Jacob, he looks older for his age.

* “Hey Jacob nice to meet you, I’m (Y/N)” you extend your hand and you see him stiffen for a second

* Yeah that sounds about right. All humans get afraid when they first me et you, you are technically their natural predator after all. He seems to get over it and grasps your hand

* “Hey, nice to meet you” 

* “Do you go to school with us?” 

*You know he doesn’t, but you’ve found it best to pretend in this situation. 

* You glance at Edward who hiding a twitching smile, looks like he heard something interesting

* “No I go to school on the res, I’m a sophomore.” 

* Oh a sophomore, younger man is more her speed huh? And they’ve been friends for years, he’s to her what Edward is to you

* You ship it

* “Do you guys want to join us?” 

* You can feel Edward’s eyes piercing you in the back. Yeah you know this is a date, and he probably wants some quality time with you or whatever-

* But it’s not like you’re f*cking after or anything

* And honestly you kinda wanna see how this whole Bella-Jacob ship plays out 

* “Well I don’t-“ Bella starts

* “We’d love to!” Jessica interrupts, and then taking a nervous glance at Edward she adds:

* “That is if you don’t mind?”

* Queue everyone looking at Edward. He looks at you, a small pout bowing onto your lips and let’s out a deep sigh

* “No of course not, I’ll get the tickets and meet you at the gate.” He says with a resigned smile

* He leans down, catching your lips in his. You know you don’t have a beating heart, but you feel it stutter when he pulls away and smiles at you

* “See you in a bit daring” and then he walks towards the empty “reserved pass” line

* Darling?

* DARLING???

* (Y/N).Exe is broken

* And you would stay broken if Jessica and Bella didn’t each grab a shoulder and shake you.

* “Oh my god what was that?!?!” Jessica shrieks

* “Are you guys like...dating now?” Bella grins

* “Yeah, I guess we are?” The human part of you understands that you’ve just agreed you feel the same, and that you have just started a relationship

* But the vampire part of you, the primal part, knows it’s so much more than that

* He’s your mate

* And saving any major changes, he is yours for as long the universe will permit 

* “Wait are you guys on a date right now?” Jessica asks, and it pulls you right out of your thoughts

* She’s worried she’s intruding

* “No-I mean maybe? Honestly we both just wanted an excuse to get out of the house.” You sigh

* “Are the rest of the Cullen’s not taking it well?” 

* You do live together, and you’re at that age. Sure Emmett and Rosalie and together, but that seems to be under more transparent circumstances 

* So imagine her surprise when you card your fingers through your hair

* “No they’re taking it too well!” 

* Last night you basically rotated between coven members as they all told you how happy they were you were with Edward now

* “Honestly I thought the nerd would never find the nerve” Emmett confided in you

* “Eleazer you’ll never guess what happened....we’re going to be brothers!” You had heard Carlisle tell Eleazer over the phone before breaking down into tears

* “Carlisle stop crying, the venom is going to make a hole in the floor.” Esme shouted before turning her attention back to you

* “So what colors do you like (Y/N)? I’m partial to gold and white myself-“ she said pointing the color combination examples in her wedding book 

* They were driving you crazy.

* “Carlisle keeps rotating between smiling and crying because ‘two kids are leaving the house’ and Tanya called to give me the most smug speech about it- I just need a break.”

* You sigh

* “Wait-did all of this happen after the party?” Bella asks with a smile creeping onto her face

* Before you can answer though, you see Edward walking towards you

* “We’ll talk about this later” Jessica whispers, not that it matters, going on the smirk on Edward’s lips he already heard everything

* “So Tanya called you huh?” He whispers in your ear when the others move ahead

* His breath fanning against your ear causes your stomach to flip. You’ve been around him so long, you almost started to forget how hot he was.

* “Yeah, she’s basically hoping I crush your heart so she can get revenge.”

* You’re mostly joking, but given past history, you know she wouldn’t mind if that’s how things turned out anyway

* “That’s fair.” He looks almost sad. What the hell happened between them to make him like this?

* You want to ask, but you feel like now isn’t the best time. Not when Jessica and Bella are a mere five feet away arguing about whether to see the jellyfish or penguins first

* So you do the only thing you can: You reach out and hold his hand, squeezing it slightly. Edward doesn’t say anything, he just squeezes back

* It’s a pretty nice day, Bella’s dad bought her a digital camera so you take a bunch of cheesy pictures around the aquarium

* “Oh try to get one like a shark is eating us! Like I’m in Jaws!”

* “You know they’re an endangered species and that stupid movie doesn’t help right?” 

* “There is no ethical consumption under capitalism Bella”

* Edward just makes a pained expression as he holds up the camera. All he wanted to do was go on a date with his significant other

* “Girls am I right?” Jacob asks, extending his bag of popcorn

* For a second you think Edward might hate him, but instead a smile arch’s onto his face

* “You have no idea.” He smiles, taking a few kernels.

* Aw, it’s Edward’s first human friend 💖

* You kinda wish you were the one with a camera now, or at least a smart phone

* Instead you settle for a grainy picture on your flip phone. They both look at you like confused puppy's when the shutter clicks 

* “Aw that’s a cute one” Jessica coo’s

* “You even got a shark in the back” Bella says pointing to a blurry gray blob in the background

* It’s a good day 

* You’re almost sad when you have to part at the end 

* “You sure you guys don’t want to come with us? Jessica’s dad is letting us have his reservation at the revolving restaurant in the space needle”

* You and Edward exchange a look

* “Nah it’s fine, I’m pretty sure Esme is wondering when we’re coming home” 

* “She’ll be pissed if we eat there without here.” You add for good measure 

* “Well alright we’ll see you at school tomorrow” Jessica says with a wave, and you smile

* “See you tomorrow”

* Looks like things are back to normal

* Edward drives on the way back

* You hold the plush sea turtle close to your chest as you watch him

* He really is handsome, chiseled cheekbones and full rosy lips. To add he has that mane of auburn hair, and that irresistible splatter of freckles across his nose 

* The prettiest boy you’ve ever seen

* “I can feel you staring” he says with a smile twitching onto his lips. Oh god you want to kiss that stupid smile right off his mouth

* “What went wrong with you and Tanya?”

* Way to kill the vibe

* “I’m sure Tanya told you all about it.” He shrugs. There’s that sad look again

* “I want to hear about it from you though” 

* And Edward might have denied you if your hand hadn’t found his, resting on top of it 

* He grins

* You don’t play fair, do you?

* He sighs, squeezing your hand while keeping his eyes on the road

* “I just...didn’t like the way she thought about me”

* “Like you were a piece of meat?” 

* He laughs

* “Like I was some charity case besides-“ he stops abruptly, looking at you before swallowing hard. “Never mind”

* “No tell me!” You lean forward cradling your hand intertwined with his against your chest and he chuckles, you really don’t play fair

* “ I didn’t-I don’t feel attraction to people unless-“

* He looks into your eyes, and you feel his fingers squirm against yours 

* “Unless we’re friends first” 

* Oh, he’s asexual. 

*Or  demisexual. 

* Somewhere on the spectrum for sure

* Is he coming out to you right now? 

* You give his hand a squeeze 

* “I get that.”

* You want to smack yourself. 

* The boy you love just came out to you about his sexuality and all you can say is ‘I get that’ 

* You feel so useless

* But Edward doesn’t let you feel useless for too long, he squeezes back looking at you with such warm eyes

* And again you can’t help but think that even though his heart doesn’t beat anymore, he looks so human

* He’s just pulled into the driveway at the house, the car parked. He’s about to say something when you cut him off, tugging him closer to you and placing your lips on his

* If he’s surprised he doesn’t show it, placing his free hand on your shoulder and leaning a bit closer to you 

* He’s so careful and gentle...and dazzling 

* He’s barely touching you but you can feel yourself seeing stars

* That thing he does with his tongue-it’s indescribable 

* Are you sure he’s a virgin?!?

* You can’t help the sigh that passes your lips when he pulls away. You’re still in a daze when he pulls you into his lap, one leg straddled on each side 

* His head is tilted back, an easy smile on his mouth. 

* You suddenly feel shy, that look in his eyes should be illegal 

* “So-“ you lean back a bit “do you-um-do you have feelings like that for me?”

* He tilts his head to the side in confusion and you gulp

* “Y’know sexually speaking” 

* He actually laughs at you

* Right there, when you’re only a handful of inches away from his face

* But you’re not annoyed, instead all you can feel is a rush of affection

* His eyes crinkle at the ends, his pearly white fangs sparkling as he grins. Your hands cup his face as he looks up at you with adoration 

* You can imagine the rosy blush that would light his face so clearly, the deep emerald green of his eyes. You’re almost starving for the image you see in your mind to be real

* He pulls you out of the image with a simple touch. His arms wrapping around your waist to pull you closer

* “I - like the rest of the entire student population at Forks High School- find you absolutely bewitching” 

* The way he says it makes you shiver, and Edward’s hand trails up your back. 

*He sits a little straighter, bouncing you slightly in his lap as he does, so you’re looking straight into his eyes

* “I find it hard to believe you don’t know that I have been dying inside everyday watching you walk around in those short shorts you love so much,” he whispers in your ear. 

*“That I haven’t been dying to absolutely ravish you .”

* You gulp.

* It’s all you can do when he’s looking at you like that

* If you thought Garrett’s bedroom eyes were intense, then Edward is on an entire different level

* You feel your heart stutter, butterflies erupting in your stomach...and something else

* A certain heat you haven’t felt in a long time

* You’ve never seen him look at anything like that, like he’s hungry- 

* Starving even 

* His lips brush against your neck, trailing down to your collar bone and you sigh

* He really knows everything about you doesn’t he? All your sweet spots, all your stories, every one of your secrets.

* Your hand trails up his chest, entangling in his hair and a low gasp tumbles from his lips

* And then your phone rings

* You hear him groan, and you shake your head

* “Ignore it” you mumble, your mouth meeting his once more 

* And you continue on for a few moments, until his phone rings

*He pulls away from you with a groan

* “Rosalie’s calling me a long list of profanities right now” he mumbles, you sigh pulling away to lean against the steering wheel 

* It’s probably for the best, no point in getting too turned on when you knew he was going to say ‘you should wait until marriage’

* Like honestly, he died, and you died, and now you live an alternative lifestyle where literally nothing matters anymore 

* But you’ll respect his wishes 

* “Guess we should go inside” You sigh, you move to get off of him

* But just as your about to crawl off, he tugs you to face him once more

* His thumb brushes over your cheek, and those deep gold eyes bore at you with that same intensity as before 

* He pulls you in for one last kiss, before getting out of the car and closing the door behind him

* “We’ll pick up where we left off later.” 

* (Y/N).exe is broken

* You walk to the house slowly, like humans do 

* “Are you ready?” He asks, holding out his hand

* You smile, placing your hand in his and nodding

* “Ready”

* So imagine your surprise when you and Edward get inside, hand in hand, to find the entire coven is laughing in the living room. 

* From where you’re standing you can only see Carlisle 

* “Ah your home! Come, I want you both to meet someone-“ 

* You move forward but Edward stays rooted to the spot

* Three people come into view, a woman with flaming red hair, a man -no older than 25- with rich mahogany skin, and a dazzling young man with hair the color of the sun.

* “Meet our new friends, Victoria, James and Laurent” 

* You turn to look at Edward, his mouth pinched into a frown

* Well F*ck 

Tags:  @moonlights27​ @thebluetint​ @the100thtwilight​ @awesomebooklover17​ @oneofthepotterheads​ @smileygirl08​ @imdoingathingmom​ @iconicgguk​ @yrawn​ @alyciaswhore​ @little-horror-show​ @wicked-watering-can​ @lazydreamers​ @ xxxmuxxx @ideas-for-you-to-adopt​​​ @poisoinedhope @maryleigh8796​​ @moose-squirrel-asstiel​​ @hotmessgoodness​ @jaimewho​ @corabmarie​ @what-am-i-doing10​ @alluring-venus​ @imdoingathingmom @anotheryooniverse​ @im-tired-not-sleepy​ @emmettcullenisahimbo​ @my-super-musical-life​ @smolvampiregirl​ @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream​ @mihikaahujaaa @werewolflover3252​ @teenagezombiekryptonite @shynz​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @monkeyluver4546​

[buckyownsmylife]

Young and Beautiful - Steve Rogers smut

The one where you were supposed to be a one-night stand, but Steve won't let that happen

Warnings: smut, and a little bit of angst.

A/N: this was our first ever patreon-voted fic, chosen for the month of May! My patreons at the $3 tier get to send me their ideas once a month and two of them end up being voted so I can write one of them each month. June’s fic is the one where Ransom needs to get a sugar mommy, and if you want to suggest a story for our July’s fic, please consider becoming a patreon! Thank you to my darling @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ for reading this over for me.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

The first time wasn’t a mistake, I could admit to that. Steve had been coming to the same bar where I worked for almost a year now. I knew who he was, of course. Everyone knew - he was hard to miss. But I think what he liked about our run-down place is that no one seemed to care about Captain America and the things he did when he didn’t have a bottle of beer in his hand.

Over here, he was just Steve. And Steve tipped well and drank a lot - I was sure he couldn’t get drunk, no matter how many beers I served him, but he never stopped asking me for more.

So, needless to say, he was adored. Adored by my boss, who was always around to keep watch of his customers and keep them in line. Adored by Luke, who guarded the entrance, for all the nights Steve helped him get rid of men who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. And adored by all the waitresses, for precisely the same reason - and because I always shared my tips with all of them.

Even the kitchen staff adored Steve. Besides, it’s not like he was hard on the eye - all the girls (customers and staff) were constantly fawning over him, but he was nothing short of a gentleman, always.

Actually, he seemed to avoid the members of the opposite sex as best as he could, clearly not interested in whatever it was that they planned to possibly get to do with him. Well, except for me.

He never avoided me. I always figured it was because I was the guardian of the alcohol - we’d even joke about it sometimes, when he came to sit by the bar after politely declining someone’s advances.

“It’s just hard to understand how to date nowadays,” he commented one day after a pretty girl actually asked him out on a date right in front of me, but he refused. I shrugged as I wiped the counter, thinking if there was any advice I could give him.

“It really isn’t that hard. You go out to dinner, walk her home and when you step in front of her door, you ask her for some coffee. She’ll usually do it herself, but if you want to show your interest…” His frown was amusing, to say the least, but I held back my laughter so he wouldn’t be even more uncomfortable.

“A coffee?” Giggling, I nodded. “Before bed? But…”

“It’s a metaphor, Steve. A lady can’t very well invite you into her sheets, now can she?” He blushed three different shades of red when I winked, another giggle escaping. “I mean, she can, but we like to keep some things unsaid - innuendos can be very sexy.”

Two months had passed and if Steve made use of my lessons, I wouldn’t know. He never brought anyone to the bar and never left with any lady who approached him either.

“What can I get ya, Steve?” I’d always ask. I’d never once called him Cap or anything other than the name he used to introduce himself - even though I obviously knew who he was. He always took his time before answering my questions, even if they required a simple yes or no, which amused me to no end.

For a while, I actually believed a gun or one of the buildings the Hulk had undoubtedly thrown in his direction had left him with a difficulty of hearing. But then after my first question, he never seemed to have any problem understanding me at all.

“Just a beer,” he’d say, a small, soft smile as he tried not to stare too much at me, fingers tapping on the counter while I got his order. I appreciated his effort not to make me uncomfortable - I knew he’d seen how often men did that to me. I had no doubt that was why he only ever looked me in the eye from under those huge eyelashes of his.

“There you go.” Always the same routine, we never once deviated from it. Until one night when I was supposed to close the bar and he heard my boss instructing me to be careful.

“There’s been a lot of robberies this late at night. Make sure you lock everything up properly.” I saluted in jest, making the old man laugh and shake his head at me. “See you tomorrow, kid.”

There were only a handful of customers - Steve included, and he was the only one by the bar, so I threw him a quick smile as I wiped the glasses and started to clean the counter.

“Can I get you anything else?” I offered, but he only grimaced in response, leaving me confused. “Is there something wrong?” He stared directly at me without answering for a while before he was able to snap out of whatever it was that had frozen him.

“You’re supposed to leave by yourself at two in the morning?” I chuckled lightly at his concern, avoiding his gaze so he wouldn’t see how it warmed my heart that he’d be preoccupied over me, someone that was a little more than a stranger to him.

“It’s part of the job,” I reassured him. “Well, usually it’s part of Luke’s job. But whenever he has to leave early, it’s my duty to fill in for him.” He nodded, but didn’t make any movement towards leaving. Usually, he would be gone by now, but it wasn’t that extraordinary for him to stay until the hour I left.

This was the first time he stayed this long though, considering I wasn’t the one responsible for closing the bar and I only realized it when I looked around and noticed we were the last two people left in the room.

“Planning on drinking much more?” I joked, trying to gauge if he was going to be much longer, but he seemed startled by my question, looking around to verify the same thing I’d just noticed.

“Oh, no. Not at all.” I smiled, thankful that he was conscious and wouldn’t force me to stay even longer after my shift had finished. “I just figured I could walk you home. It is pretty late, after all.”

My heart warmed up at how sweet and thoughtful this man was. He had no reason to wait for me to finish my job just to walk me home, yet here he was. “Thank you, Steve,” I acknowledged, sending him a grateful grin. “Let me just check the bathrooms real quick. I’ll grab my purse and we can leave.”

He nodded, watching me do as I said and in no time at all we took off together in the direction of my apartment. I wasn’t worried about making small talk with him on the way there - I knew he was a good conversationalist from all the times he had stayed by the bar instead of taking his beer to a table, and I adored the stories he told of his missions just as much as I appreciated how he genuinely cared about what I had to say.

The walk to my place seemed shorter than ever before, and in a few minutes we were standing in front of my door as I searched for my keys in my bag.

“C-Can I…” He murmured as I looked for it, glancing up at him and smiling to signal he should continue even though I couldn’t give him my full attention at that moment. “Would you… Do you have some coffee?”

I was so shocked that my head whipped up to stare at him, eyes wide and unbelieving. Did Steve… Did he… Did he want to have sex with me? “I mean… in your apartment, do you have some coffee in your apartment?”

The thought was so extraordinary that the second I realized his intentions, a fire of desire warmed my lower belly, not because he was Captain America, but because he was an attractive and sweet guy that was way out of my league and I couldn’t believe he was into me.

He kept talking as I kept blinking at him, trying to process what was going on. “’Cause I’d really like to have some coffee… with you… If you want some too…”

His voice got smaller the longer it took for me to answer him, until it disappeared completely and he cleared his throat. “Nevermind.” He was about to turn around and make a run for it, I was sure, but I was able to grasp his wrist just in time, signalling him to stop because I had something to say.

“I would love to make you some coffee, Steve.”

So yeah, the first time wasn’t a mistake. He was way too fucking sweet and I got hot just by seeing how nervous he was to ask me for some “coffee”, incredulous that I was capable of affecting this giant man that much.

So as soon as we were in my apartment, I tied up my hair with the little hair tie I always kept on my wrist during work and got on my knees for him.

And I cherished every fucking second of it.

The way his mouth fell open in a gasp when I reached for his jeans, the little moans he let out as I licked his member… I couldn’t close my eyes, too transfixed by his expressions to miss anything.

The way he pulled me by my hair to devour my mouth, hands so eager to undress me that he ended up ripping my blouse, but it only made me giggle.

The way his groan sounded almost painful when he picked me up, shoved me against the door and penetrated me, filling me so beautifully I hit my head back against the wood and didn’t even notice it.

He got me to cum without almost no preparation, just from the thrill of it all, the stretch of his member inside of me. When I urged him to cum in my pussy, the look on his eyes was enough to get me to cum again, milking him dry as he emptied himself with a growl, forehead dropping against mine while he tried to catch his breath.

I was expecting him to leave immediately or maybe stay for an actual coffee. I wasn’t expecting him to pull out, drop to his knees and start lapping his cum from inside of me, eyes as focused on mine as I had been for him only minutes before.

Burying my fingers in his short locks, I tried to keep myself up despite the way my legs trembled, but Steve just adjusted them so they’d be over his shoulders and held me up with his face buried in me.

I had never cum so many times in a row. But then again, I had never had a man eat his own cum out of me.

I fully intended it to be a one time thing, and that was my plan. I thanked him for eating me out, made him some coffee, giggled at his stories about his friends and for a second it almost looked like we were back at the bar, only the counter was my kitchen table and I was allowed to sit on the other side.

He didn’t ask to stay the evening and I breathed a sigh of relief after I closed the door behind him, ignoring the slight empty feeling that momentarily hit me. This is what I wanted, I reminded myself, and by acting the way I expected him to, he had made it clear that he understood the rules of the dating world he claimed to know so little of.

This was a one time deal. Nothing more.

But then the first night we saw each other at the bar again, it was when he burst through the door to punch some guy who came in just as I was closing, trying to steal the money we had in the vault. I was so fucking relieved to see his face that all I could do was tremble in his arms after the police came to get the robber, and of course I couldn’t let him go after that.

He walked me home and I didn’t even ask anything, just stood on my tiptoes to kiss his lips, using my grip on his shirt to pull him in as he helped me with my clothes.

“You’re so fucking pretty…” He moaned, and perhaps that should have been my first sign, the one that alerted me to stop what I was doing and not make this into a mistake I couldn’t take back.

He hadn’t talked the last time. He had never complimented me before.

“God, your ass…” He groaned as he palmed it, helping me over his lap when he took a seat on my couch, until I could fuse the both of us and ride us to hysteria.

But I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind because it felt so fucking good to be desired by him, to have him inside of me, cumming deep into my pussy only to eat it all out of me again.

It didn’t take long for me to learn about the errors of my way, though. In fact, it started the very next day, when he walked into the bar grinning from ear to ear and made a beeline in my direction.

“Hey, baby,” he greeted, and my eyes went wide as two saucers, especially when I saw him lean over the counter like he intended to peck my lips.

“Hello, Captain.” I quickly turned my back to him, facing the shelves of liquor to pretend that I was looking for something. My heart sank to my stomach as I took in what was happening, what I had just done in my effort to put some distance between us as if last night had never happened. “Can I get you anything?”

The time it took for him to answer almost had me looking at him from over my shoulder, but I restrained myself. “Yeah, you,” he finally said, and I breathed out in surprise. “Why are you acting this way?”

I panicked for a few seconds, reaching up for an already clean glass to attack it with my rag. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tried to reassure the both of us, still incapable of looking him in the eye.

But I could see his massive body by the end of the counter from the corner of my eyes, where he always sat, and I saw him tap the old battered wood with his fingers - fingers he had used to spread me open for his tongue to reach - as he thought.

I hoped he would let it go. I hoped he would not.

“Fine,” he relented, and I froze, uncertain of what he meant. “I’ll come back tomorrow.” My head snapped up just in time to watch him leave, and he didn’t even look over his shoulder.

I tried to tell myself it was for the best. He needed some time to get over whatever the hell it was that he thought he was feeling and tomorrow things would go back to normal. But that wasn’t what happened.

He came back with flowers the next day, and I didn’t have any reasonable excuse not to accept it. He didn’t push for anything, just gave me the bouquet before asking for his usual drink. And then he proceeded to stay the entire evening right there, where he always sat, carefully watching my every move.

For the first time in a while, I broke two glasses in a single evening.

The day after that, he came with a box of chocolates. I couldn’t hide the smile because they were my favorite - I didn’t know how he knew it until he reminded me.

“You told me you liked them right when I started coming to this place.” His eyes were so heavy with a sad feeling that I couldn’t recognize that I had to avert my gaze. It messed with my heartbeat, it left my throat feeling dry.

“Thanks, Captain,” I softly acknowledged it, and I saw the way his grip on the box tightened. I saw it in the way it was slightly crumpled when I took it from his hands, but he didn’t say a word.

There was only so much that he could take, though. And I knew that. It didn’t help that my boss had caught onto his intentions and started to push me to go out on a date with him.

“Why don’t you give the poor guy a chance?” He’d incite, much to Steve’s utter glee.

“Yeah, Y/N. Why don’t you go out with me?” Steve urged, and although he never asked when my boss wasn’t around to initiate the teasing, I knew he wondered.

And the truth was that I wondered about it too. Because everything was screwed up now. When I gave him his beer and our fingers brushed, mine were left tingling. When I looked his way to find his gaze already on me, I shivered.

So yes, the second time was undeniably a mistake, but there wouldn’t be a third time. I’d make sure of it.

Steve’s P.O.V.

I was tired of waiting. I knew I had wanted her since the first time I laid my eyes on her, when I decided to stop at this rundown bar in the hopes of one night of crappy beer without being bothered by anyone asking for autographs or pictures.

I’d come here almost every night when I could escape the tower to watch her work, slowly getting her to warm up to me, and I fell for her personality in the process.

The way she clearly saw me as Steve, and not my title.

The way she always laughed at my stories and shared what had happened in the previous nights with the raucous customers.

The way she seemed to care about everyone and everything that came into contact with her.

So what started as desire became something deeper and for the first time since I was unfrozen, I found myself eager to understand what dating in this new century was like. I asked Sam for advice, and even Tony for any tips he could give me, but their general ideas didn’t matter to me when all I wanted was one single person.

Her.

So I asked her for her thoughts on the matter and was surprised with myself when I put them into practice. I was even more surprised when she accepted my advances and welcomed me into her embrace.

I was sure I’d never been happier than that evening.

But to have her pretend nothing had happened and even worse - treat me like a stranger after I had learned the taste of her skin? Nothing hurt deeper than that.

And still, I understood. I realized then that she hadn’t seen the situation the way that I had. She had thought all I wanted was a one-night deal - well, two-night deal - because I had never shown her anything to make her think differently.

So I set out to do just that. My way this time. And I was just about ready to ask her on a proper date when I was forced away for a whole damn month, having to resort to my hand and my memories of her body to get through the cold nights on the field.

The second I was back in the city, I only had one thing in mind. To get what I wanted, in whatever way she would let me.

“Can we talk?” My voice sounded clipped to my own ears, and maybe that’s why her mouth opened in surprise - or maybe it was seeing me at the bar so early, when there was barely anyone around, after being absent for so long.

“Sure,” she finally accepted, shrugging like it was no big deal, but I knew better than that. She might not know it, but I could read her perfectly, and I knew she was hiding her true feelings even to herself. I knew those feelings were deeper than she had ever felt. I knew they made her scared.

“Not here.” She stopped cleaning glasses then, frozen for a second before she looked around, taking in the fact that no one else was going to need her for a while. There was nowhere to run and maybe I was a jerk for doing this during her work hours, but I was a desperate jerk and I couldn’t wait a second longer.

“Okay.” She sounded small, and I knew what she was expecting to get out of this conversation. Closure, in one way or another. For me to finally let go of her. But I wouldn’t.

I wanted her too damn bad to let her escape like that.

“Go out with me.” I asked the second that the office door was closed behind us, and she immediately started shaking her head. “Yes, please,” I insisted. “Let me show you that I want more from you. I want so much more.”

“I can’t give you more,” was her answer, and she still avoided my eyes as she spoke. “One night, you even had two. That’s all I can give you. Please don’t ask me for anything more.”

“Why?” I asked, and the frustration in my voice was enough to get her to meet my eyes for the first time that evening. “Why are you trying to avoid this? I know you want me, Y/N. You wouldn’t have slept with me if you didn’t. So just tell me why.”

“I can’t,” she insisted, moving towards the door, but I grasped her hand to stop her before she could slip through it - much like she had done that first night, when I thought I’d screwed up any chance I had to ever be with her.

“Tell me why you’re holding yourself back from me,” I ordered, anger and desire creating an explosive cocktail inside of me, making my voice hoarse. I saw her shiver. I watched her break.

“Because it was too fucking good and I swear to God, if you get your mouth on me again, I’m gonna marry you.” Our expressions mirrored one another, eyes wide, mouths hanging open. She couldn’t believe she had let out her feelings like this. I couldn’t believe there was all there was to it.

I dropped to my knees before her.

“Come here.” I shoved her jeans all the way down to her ankles, sending the button flying somewhere. I couldn’t tell where and I didn’t care. All I wanted was to show her that there was nothing wrong with wanting this, with wanting me because as long as she allowed me to, I’d give anything to be with her.

My tongue was so hungry to taste her sweetness again. I licked a stripe between her lower lips before I could even get my hand there, spreading her with my fingers for easier access.

God, she was heavenly. I watched her let her head fall back against the door, much like the first time I was able to be in this position, and my heartbeat fluttered at the realization that this time, I was much closer to getting what I really wanted from her.

“I’ve been terrified of my own feelings for long enough,” I decided to confess, parting from her clit to be able to speak but slipping two digits inside her hole, filling her up, preparing her to welcome me. “I can wait for you to come to terms with yours. But I can’t keep myself away,” I warned, quickening my movements as I chased away the taste of her in my tongue. “So don’t ask that of me.”

Her moan had my eyes sparkling with excitement. I lowered my head to suck her button, see the way it made her thighs tremble on each side of my face.

“So fucking sexy,” I moaned against her cunt. “Come for me, sweetheart. Drench my face.” Her little cry of ecstasy denounced she was about to do just that, so I twirled my tongue around her clit, rubbing my digits against her sweet spot as her body tensed under my ministrations.

“There you go…” I whispered, fascinated with the way she looked after her release. It was like she glowed from the inside, muscles relaxing to accept my caresses when I finished cleaning her with my tongue and rose to my full height.

“Next time you try to pretend something between us didn’t happen, I’m gonna bend you over the counter and spank your ass in front of all of the other patrons,” I warned her before nibbling her earlobe. “Go out with me,” I tried again, and she took a deep breath before answering, looking up at me from under her eyelashes.

“Okay.”