Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #12: THE ATTRACTION BETWEEN TWO BODIES!
September, 1986
Zzzax!
Quantum!
Halflife!
TROUBLE!
Oh ho, ah ha! I see we’re still doing random super goons for the West Coast Avengers to fight.
I won’t lie, I kinda like it.
Considering the meta plot is ‘Tigra needs to kill Master Pandemonium so the cat king will make her less horny,’ this string of random tricky goobers for the team to fight is entertaining. The wheels sure are spinning on the meta plot but we’ve got some good, dumb fights. It feels like a throwback to the simpler storytelling of the silver age Avengers.
Meanwhile, Stern’s Avengers is killing it on the more serialized style.
I know Zzzax as ‘when an electricity guy is needed but Electro is busy’ but the other two are new to me. Although Quantum looks like he should fight Captain Mar-Vell. He has the look of the kind of guy Mar-Vell would punch.
Halflife is clearly a bride of Frankenstein.
So let’s get into it.
Last times in West Coast Avengers: The Thing almost joined the team but then didn’t. The team fought Griffin and Headlok. Then, Mockingbird and co went to visit Nick Fury so she could give her sympathies for the poor, maligned intelligence community which was even then being compromised as hell. Then the team fought Shockwave, Zaran the Weapons Master, and Razorfist. And now, this:
I take back every nice thing I’ve ever said about Simon Williams.
That costume is an abomination.
The fact that the rest of the team repeatedly reassure him that it’s a great change proves that the West Coast Avengers have no taste whatsoever.
Shame on all of you.
Shame.
This isn’t a situation where I’m going to go ‘lol jk’ under the fold.
That costume bad.
Apparently one of the designers (costume designers? Set designers?) for Bladerunner (legally distinct from Blade Runner?) designed this outfit for Simon.
Bladerunner is probably a shit movie if this is what unnamed designer came up with.
I do like that Simon is just flaunting his Hollywood connections though. He wanted a new costume, he just went up to a guy who worked in movies and told him to design him one.
I hope you paid the man for his eyesore, Simon.
There’s some other bits that go in this discussion of his new costume.
Simon was letting his hair gray without much complaint. Now he’s dyeing it black again. He claims that his hair is prematurely gray because of that time he spent dead and anyway, he’s in movies now. Its an industry of vanity.
He also ditched the goggles or glasses because he’s not going to hide his eyes anymore.
Wonder Man: “I’m not Cyclops of the X-Men! The ionic energy in me isn’t dangerous! And once I decided to make that change, I figured -- why shouldn’t I look my age?”
... What IS your age though? You were the CEO of your own company before you drove it into the ground by being less good than Tony Stark and also embezzlement.
How old are you, Simon? How old are ANY of you??
Actually, my favorite part in this parade of bad taste is Tigra asking if moving the jets up to his shoulders will toast his buns.
Tigra: “But won’t the jet-flames shoot down your back and burn your, uh ---”
Wonder Man: “Not if your ‘uh’ is invulnerable!”
Fair point, fair point ipreferredthebeltjetspersonally but fair point.
Is the ass of your pants fire-proof?
I guess we’ll find out one way or another soon.
Mockingbird tells everyone to hold that thought and runs off.
Because Simon isn’t the only one that has a new costume to show off.
God. I don’t like, love, or tolerate Wonder Man’s new costume but I kinda love all these idiots just proudly showing off their fashion disasters to each other.
Anyway, Hawkeye points out that he and Mockingbird have been using the costumes they wore in New York but whoops New York climate is not L.A. climate.
So Hawkeye removed the sleeves from his costume to rock the sun’s out, guns out look.
Wonder Man: “Yes, and we’re glad you stopped there!”
Iron Man: “Just as we’re glad Tigra didn’t!”
Iron Man, please. If you make the West Coast Avengers need an HR department, you know its just going to be Hank Pym and that’s going to be awkward for everyone.
Also, I can’t prove it but I’m like 52% sure that somehow Wonder Man found out about that time Hawkeye’s costume had no pants and he’s been waiting to bust his chops about it.
Speaking of no pants,
Mockingbird’s new costume doesn’t have any pants.
Her fighting style requires the long, wide sleeves, I think. So, yeah, off go the pants.
Also, she’s letting her hair grow out a little. The never ending drama of her haircut continues.
Iron Man refuses to change his armor because this is his new iconic armor dammit. This isn’t the modern age where he can just slap on a new suit every time there’s a new run. The Silver Centurion has to last a while!
Speaking of looks, Iron Man says changing the subject, Tigra has a magical amulet that lets her look like her old human self that she never uses.
Why is that?
Tigra, looking confused at the question: “Huh!”
It’s something she hasn’t thought about lately! She’s just super comfortable in her Tigra skin.
Wonder Man asks if she’s changing her mind on which of her two souls she’s going to keep.
Tigra: “Me? Don’t be silly! But with all this glorious sun, I can’t stop with uncovering just one part of my glorious bod! Might as well be comfortable, right? Changing my mind -- ? No... I’ve made my decision...”
Good for you, Tigra?
It might be an empowering affirmation but this book is gonna be a creep about it.
Also, this creep is gonna be a creep about it.
Using mysterious superpowers to bend reflected light so you can creep from a distance is sure putting a lot of effort into being a creep, mysterious creep.
Mysterious creep is so horny that he decides “I can wait no longer! I must have her, and I must have her now! The plan begins at once!”
So, that’s going somewhere.
Back at the West Coast Avengers Compound, Mockingbird asks to speak to Tigra who agrees “just so long as we stay outdoors!”
Mockingbird reminds that Tigra asked her to help with her two-soul problem however long ago but recently she seems pretty contented sooooo....
Tigra yells at Mockingbird to get off her back about it.
Which is an interesting reaction considering Mockingbird hadn’t even gotten around to asking her question yet.
Tigra: “Everything’s okay with me, Mockingbird! The cat-people promised they’d cure me, no strings attached!”
And then she storms off.
Leaving Mockingbird suspicious that Tigra mentioned strings unprompted. Using her keen intelligence work training, she now suspects that Tigra isn’t telling them everything!
Very insightful, Bobbi.
But Tigra is sure that the Avengers may suspect that there is a string attached but they’ll never guess that she has to do a murder on Master Pandemonium.
Tigra: Not that killing a crook like Master Pandemonium is anything to be ashamed of -- he’s tried to kill us twice -- but they might not understand! They don’t share my sense of the hunt -- for prey, or for passion!
So Tigra goes to try to make out with Wonder Man.
Tigra: “Long time no petting, big man!”
Whoa!
Pretty forward!
But Wonder Man tells her that though he really enjoyed making out with her on the beach, there can be no more casual petting between them.
He thinks that he might have a chance with Christy, from the movie set. Since they’ve been working pretty closely.
And Wonder Man was under the impression that Tigra was with Hank...?
Tigra: “What about me and Hank? We’re not an item, if that’s what you mean!”
Wonder Man: “He thinks you are -- !”
Tigra: “Pfui on what he thinks! NOBODY OWNS ME!”
And she storms off again, yelling that women with glasses aren’t attractive.
It’s a matter of opinion, really.
So, Tigra finds Iron Man instead.
He wanted to relax in the sun as much as everyone else but the most he could muster is... just taking the helmet off.
I don’t remember whether Tony has a secret identity here or not. I know that Tigra knows who he is. And he was walking around with Hawkeye and Mockingbird out of costume so they could visit Fury.
Okay, so probably the team knows.
Don’t know why he’s only taking off his helmet. Because he says he wanted to duck into his personal bungalow so he could take off his helmet. Like he’s hiding his identity.
Whatever.
Anyway, Tigra tries to hit on him too.
But despite all of Tony’s light inappropriate comments during his time on this team with Tigra, he was just being friendly.
Apparently Tony is one of those people who is just always flirty.
But he still feels too guilty over dating Jan after she divorced Hank. He could never do anything with Tigra while she’s with Hank or while Hank thinks she is (because of her making out with him). Especially when Hank is still messed up over losing his robot son.
Since Tony tried to soften the blow by saying he’d be all over Tigra if Hank weren’t involved, Tigra storms off to break up with Hank.
Geez.
She finds Hank inside the main compound building talking to Joachin, apparently the manager of the grounds crew.
Huh! The West Coast Avengers have a support staff!
Anyway, Tigra basically yells ‘beat it nerd!’ and Joachin excuses himself.
Tigra doesn’t get the chance to give Hank a piece of her mind because Hank “aware of what women are thinking” Pym sees her mad face, assumes that it’s because he hasn’t been paying enough attention to her, and asks if she wants to kiss.
And she does.
Tigra: “Sure! Who could turn down a kiss...?”
Tigra, this is just kicking the problem down the road...
Anyway, IN SPACE
Near THE SUN
That Quantum dude from the cover who looks like he should fight Captain Mar-Vell pops out of the Sun and heads for Earth.
In fairness, the Earth shot first.
He’s not the only introduction.
At Horesham Nuclear Plant, alarms suddenly go off, signaling a meltdown or maybe a meltout.
Does that make any sense? No? Too bad.
The bride of Frankenstein like lady melts out of the reactor and kills the nuclear technicians with a touch as she strolls out of the plant.
As she’s on her way out, the high-voltage lines leading from the plant snap, revealing Zzzax, the man-shaped electromagnetic energy field. He was introduced in the Hulk book and has apparently died at the end of his every appearance.
Doesn’t seem to have slowed him down.
Anyway, he joins bride of Frankenstein (Halflife) and the two hike south towards Los Angeles.
Huh. Weird.
Seems like some kind of gathering of some kind of group.
But whyyyy?
Also, according to marvel wiki, this group is sometimes called Trouble, as on the cover, and that’s a stupendously stupid name.
Back at the West Coast Avengers Compound, Hank Pym briefs Hawkeye on his findings on the deed book that was mysteriously burned.
Annnd he doesn’t have a lot to report. There were heavy sulfur compounds and evidence of extremely high heat which didn’t singe the adjacent pages. So its obviously magic nonsense.
Hawkeye: “Sounds like Master Pandabear, all right!”
But Hank has some other ideas.
Since Master Pandemonium was a movie star, Wonder Man could ask around the studios to see if anyone knows anything. And Hank can pick up where Firebird left off and check with any local occult bookstores.
Business out of the way, Hawkeye asks how Hank and Tigra are doing.
Hank, a poor dolt, thinks things are going just great!
Unaware that elsewhere, Tigra is kicking herself “why do I melt any time any man wants me?”
Cat soul, probably.
Maybe you should see about having that looked at?
But she suddenly decides that she doesn’t care about self-control (which is saying no, self-control is saying that’s enough) and that when she kills Master P and gets one of her souls yanked out, she’s going to stick with being Tigra and just Tigra. Goodbye human worries and inhibitions.
And then while jumping around the trees, she comes up short and painfully bellyflops to the ground.
Tigra, if you’re still alive, I want to ask what good is a cat soul if you can’t even reliably land on your feet?
... I’m pretty sure she’s still alive.
She has so many more degrading plot points to be part of.
=|
Anyway, Quantum appears above the city yelling in an alien language and blasting out heat.
The goofy bystanders guess that what he’s yelling is probably a challenge and probably for the (West Coast) Avengers since they’re the only superhero team “this so-called town’s got!”
Oh, and Zzzax and Halflife show up too.
Unlike Quantum, they can speak.
Zzzax apparently wants to eat the electrical energy in people! That’s distressing!
The LAPD calls the (West Coast) Avengers (and gets Hank since he answers the phones) because “this is what you’re supposed to be for!” and Hank summons the (West Coast) Avengers.
Tigra doesn’t show up, due to her probably non-fatal bellyflop but Hank says there’s no time to wait for her.
Hank Pym, non-superhero: “There are three major menaces on Sunset Boulevard!”
Iron Man: “Sounds like a set-up for a punchline -- but I still don’t know L.A. well enough to know what it is!”
... Hah.
Anyway, the West Coast Avengers minus Tigra pile into the Quinjet and about seven minutes later, Iron Man and Wonder Man are jumping out of the Quinjet over Sunset Boulevard.
Wonder Man: “Every time I go into action, I get to be a real, live Wonder Man! What could be better than that?”
He punches Quantum and whoops now there’s lots of Quantum.
Wonder Man assumes that lots of Quantum won’t be strong but whoops, he made an ass out of him and him.
Iron Man: “I think that was the set-up to a punch line, Wondy!”
Wonder Man: “I know! I know!”
With Iron Man and Wonder Man dealing with excessive Quantums, Mockingbird squares up against Halflife (designated girl fight?) and Hawkeye against Zzzax.
In fairness to that last one, Hawkeye has fought and beat Zzzax before. He’s pretty sure he can beat him in no time flat just by shooting an arrow with a wire through him into a water source.
Except... Hawkeye doesn’t know where to find water in Los Angeles.
I think there’s an ocean somewhere westward. Does that help, Hawkeye?
Mockingbird similarly thinks she’ll be done with her opponent “this refugee from Frederick’s of Hollywood” pretty quickly and then she’ll come help Hawkeye find water.
Halflife: “Quiet, woman! Your raucous bravado disturbs the tranquility of -- Halflife!”
Huh, so that’s what she do.
That answers one question about this bridge of Frankenstein. But her statement here raises more questions.
Why is she getting involved in superhero fights if she doesn’t like raucous bravado and would prefer the tranquility of living in a nuclear reactor? Also, why was she living in a nuclear reactor??
(For the tranquility, probably)
Anyway. She makes people age. Probably halves their life, if I had to guess.
A Quantum knocks Wonder Man to the road and Hawkeye asks if he’ll find (and break) a water main while he’s at it.
Wonder Man rips up a water main and sprays the water all over. Hawkeye shoots a wired arrow and shorts out Zzzax just like he said he would.
Wow, Zzzax lasted no time and got to do zero things.
That’s why when villains with a super easy way to beat them come back, they’ve usually made some personal changes so that super easy way doesn’t work anymore.
Otherwise you wind up like Zzzax here.
With Zzzax there taken care of, Hawkeye runs to help Mockingbird who has aged terribly but Iron Man lands between Halflife and Mockingbird and Hawkeye, figuring he’s better suited to take her on.
Halflife: “And you think Halflife cannot speed the process of decay within you, metal man? My touch takes you halfway to your death -- and each subsequent touch takes you half the remaining distance!”
That makes me curious whether she can age Iron Man’s armor or not but probably not but it doesn’t matter, even touching Iron Man’s armor is aging the man inside.
Iron Man still has a point that he’s better suited to fight Halflife though because he can up the power of his armor to compensate as the man inside ages.
But he’s not actually... doing anything with keeping his power up. He’s not fighting back because he’s spending all his effort adjusting the armor’s power.
So now three Avengers are tied up with Halflife which is fairly non-ideal when the other villain in the fight is a lot of guys.
Wonder Man actually realizes this. That Quantum is strong and numerous but that Halflife is taking Avengers out of the fight.
So he just swoops down and whisks her away from his three teammates.
She threatens that she’ll just age him the same she did his teammates but whoops. Can’t age energy.
Wonder Man: “I’m not flesh and blood! I’m ionic energy -- I don’t ever have to age or die -- and you can’t take me halfway to nowhere!”
And then he knocks her out in one punch. I guess she doesn’t have a lot going for her other than that aging trick.
Wonder Man: All those years of fearing death -- and all the time, I was essentially immortal!
Irony!
Anyway, there’s no ontological inertia here. As soon as Halflife was knocked out, the aging effects vanished from Mockingbird and Iron Man.
Speaking of easy victories once you figure out their deal...
Hawkeye just pulls a theory out his butt that Quantum is solar-powered and uses a smokescreen arrow to make him take a beddy-bye.
I seriously have no idea how he came to this conclusion but I guess I shouldn’t discount the archer.
Remember, he’s the scientific genius who invented anti-gravity just for fun.
With all three Troubles down for the count, Hawkey congratulates the team for good teamwork.
They did a less obvious CHANGE PLACES “and fought what would have seemed the other guys’ enemies!”
I mean. Kinda.
Wonder Man fought the girl who had been designated for the girl fight. And Hawkeye fought the flying brick enemy. But Hawkeye also took out the electrical guy which was his opponent at the start. Mockingbird got olded and then didn’t get to do anything. And Iron Man didn’t do much at all except buy time.
Geez, I keep getting the feeling that Iron Man doesn’t do a lot in this book.
Hawkeye: “We really are what I’ve always wanted us to be -- a team!”
He says as Tigra is missing.
‘Wow, we’re really clicking today for some reason!’
I joke. But its a weird thing to pat yourself on the back for when the team isn’t all there, isn’t it?
With all the back patting accomplished, Iron Man realizes something is poking his brain about the specific guys that they just fought. Poking his SCIENCE brain.
And as waves of gravity bring the team to their knees and then flat on their asses, Iron Man realizes too late what the group theme was.
THE FOUR FUNDAMENTAL FORCES!
Graviton, you giant nerd.
... And he was the one creeping on Tigra and now has her on a leash. Graviton, you consistent creep.
Now, I’m not a very science person, unlike Tony Science-Brain Stark.
But the four fundamental forces are gravity, the weak atomic force, the strong nuclear force, and electromagnetism.
I don’t think Zzzax was very magnetic but was very electric. But he’s dispersed so this group never got to be all four forces together.
Do Halflife and Quantum represent the weak and strong forces?
The weak force is responsible for particle decay and Halflife talked about decay a lot but it was more aging decay so... did Graviton just go ‘wtfe close enough’?
And the strong force is what holds an atom’s nucleus together. Does it make sense that the guy that represents it splits like an RPG slime if hit?
Science side of my audience, let me know.
The important thing though is that Graviton is back even though the last time he tangled with the West Coast Avengers, they drugged his drink and then kicked his ass.
Can’t wait for them to kick his ass again and I hope Tigra doesn’t make out with him.
Follow @essential-avengers because. Like and reblog too. Going minimalist this time.
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Fantastic Four Vol. 1 Annual 1980
Tues Apr 27 2020
[10:15 PM] Bocaj: Ah annuals
[10:15 PM] Bocaj: My bane
[10:15 PM] Wack'd: The first story is called "Time for the Prime Ten" and I have to suspect someone came up with that title and then worked backwards to a story
[10:16 PM] Bocaj: Ah, like silver age DC with that and covers
[10:17 PM] Wack'd: Alicia is taking Franklin for the weekend while the Four finish up one of Reed's inventions
[10:17 PM] Bocaj: Do you really want Johnny helping with that, Reed?
[10:18 PM] Wack'd: I mean counterpoint: would you rather trust Johnny with menial construction work or supervising a child
[10:18 PM] maxwellelvis: Hmm...
[10:19 PM] Bocaj: That’s tough
[10:19 PM] Mousa The 14: Kid fixes cars, he has at least some mechanical know how
[10:19 PM] Wack'd: Hilariously, just as Alicia and Franklin leave, Reed finishes his project! So, like
[10:19 PM] Mousa The 14: ... WHY BOTHER
[10:19 PM] Wack'd: Honestly unless that project was child-proofing your lab I dunno what the point was
[10:20 PM] Bocaj: 😐
[10:20 PM] Wack'd: But the project was not childproofing the lab! It was wirelessly transmitting energy! Reed got Franklin's toy car to move with no batteries and he's quite pleased
[10:20 PM] maxwellelvis: Well of course the real reason is to make sure Franklin and Alicia are helpless when something bad happens, but...
[10:20 PM] Mousa The 14: That’s cute I guess
[10:21 PM] Mousa The 14: And a useful invention
[10:21 PM] Wack'd: Especially, as Reed points out, in an energy crisis
[10:23 PM] Wack'd: Reed is hoping this leads to grants to work on faster-than-light travel, as he's always wanted to go to do that
[10:23 PM] Mousa The 14: Ummm
[10:23 PM] Wack'd: Chew over that one for a bit
[10:24 PM] Mousa The 14: But...
[10:24 PM] Mousa The 14: But...
[10:24 PM] maxwellelvis: YOU'VE ALREADY-
[10:24 PM] Wack'd: Then stop chewing because someone's at the door!
[10:24 PM] Mousa The 14: I don’t even...
[10:24 PM] Wack'd: And the alarms didn't go off!
[10:24 PM] Wack'd: Egads!
[10:24 PM] Umbramatic: i
[10:24 PM] Bocaj: Is it wacky neighbor Namor?
[10:24 PM] maxwellelvis: He's been to other planets
[10:25 PM] maxwellelvis: I... just... GAAAAHHHH
[10:25 PM] Wack'd: @Bocaj Close
[10:26 PM] Bocaj: Does he just
[10:26 PM] Bocaj: Wiggle his ears as he walks around
[10:27 PM] Wack'd: Sometimes you've just got to amuse yourself
[10:28 PM] Bocaj: Mm, true
[10:29 PM] Wack'd: Anyway it hasn't been that long since we saw Willie
[10:30 PM] Bocaj: How long?
[10:30 PM] Wack'd: His most recent listed appearance date is #191 in 1978, and it's 1980, so
[10:31 PM] Bocaj: Willie is back from Hollywood Kansas
[10:32 PM] Wack'd: Especially for a character who is barely more than a cameo to begin with those are pretty good numbers
[10:32 PM] Mousa The 14: Good point
[10:33 PM] Mousa The 14: But hey, Willie is a staple. A rock.
[10:34 PM] Wack'd: So anyway Reed makes his excuses to go check the Baxter's security systems. He can't find anything wrong
[10:34 PM] Wack'd: And then a portal opens in Reed’s energy transmitter to Captain Mar-Vell having a fight scene involving a lot of falling rocks
[10:34 PM] maxwellelvis: Like he just pops up?
[10:34 PM] Mousa The 14: What he never thought maybe he built in a security exception for good ol’ Willie?
[10:36 PM] Wack'd: Reed is now very concerned because it was not supposed to be doing that
[10:36 PM] maxwellelvis: And he accidentally opened a portal to wherever Captain Marvel was at that very moment?
[10:36 PM] Wack'd: His theory is Mar-Vell--or his combatant--accidentally opened a portal to him
[10:37 PM] Wack'd:
[10:38 PM] Aleph Null: Skrull Cops Are Bastards
[10:38 PM] Wack'd: Willie's a postman!
[10:38 PM] Aleph Null: he looks like a cop!
[10:38 PM] Wack'd: Sure
[10:39 PM] Wack'd: Anyway that "package" "Willie" brought was an alarm canceler and also a stun...thing, so Sue, Johnny and Ben are out of the picture for the moment
[10:40 PM] Wack'd: "LET ME EXPOSIT, DAMMIT"
[10:41 PM] Wack'd: Wow, your device has three whole purposes, that's impressive! But if you'll me a moment, I need to take a moment to check the weather on this device I'm using to read comics, duplicate portions of them, and instantaneously send them to friends
[10:42 PM] Mousa The 14: Man, Skrull technology is really behind. They just can’t seem to keep up with humanity’s advances
[10:42 PM] Umbramatic: alas
[10:43 PM] Wack'd: Okay so, basically
[10:44 PM] Wack'd: Skrulls want to win the Kree/Skrull War
[10:44 PM] Wack'd: To do this, they want teleportation
[10:44 PM] Wack'd: Reed's device can do this, but with energy instead of matter
[10:45 PM] Wack'd: "Willie" wants to exchange the lives of the Four for Reed's transmitter so the Skrulls can get it up to code
[10:45 PM] Wack'd: Hell he even promises not to bring the fight to Earth
[10:46 PM] Wack'd: He's slightly-to-moderately surprised when Reed refuses on ethical grounds
[10:47 PM] Mousa The 14: “What do you know of ‘Ethics’, Richards.”
[10:48 PM] Wack'd: Reed catches him monologuing and BUSCEMA-PUNCHES HIM FROM BEHIND WITH HIS BALLED-UP ANKLE
[10:48 PM] Bocaj: Amazing
[10:48 PM] maxwellelvis: He punched him with his leg!
[10:48 PM] Umbramatic: impressive
[10:48 PM] Bocaj: Now here's the nonsense stretching that I"m here for
[10:48 PM] Umbramatic: creative power use i like that
[10:48 PM] maxwellelvis: He PUNCHED the Skrull with his LEG
[10:49 PM] Mousa The 14: Gave him the boot
[10:49 PM] Umbramatic: a boot to the head
[10:49 PM] maxwellelvis: He found the proper ankle of attack
[10:50 PM] maxwellelvis: He really put his foot down
[10:50 PM] Mousa The 14: And one more for Jenny and the wimp
[10:49 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Reed wins easily and knocks the Skrull cold. And then Captain Marvel steps through the portal and is like "hey, I hate Kree and Skrulls, give me the transmitter and I'll clean all this up for you"
[10:50 PM] Wack'd: It was. Probably too good an offer
[10:51 PM] Mousa The 14: Yeah even with that ask I wouldn’t have given it to him
[10:51 PM] Mousa The 14: On the other hand. If it’s in the hands of Captain Marvel it would be completely useless and go absolutely nowhere
[10:52 PM] Wack'd: Mar-Vell is like "you need to kill that guy now, no questions asked" and Reed is like
[10:52 PM] Wack'd: "Okay just because I'm the one who gave myself the title smartest man alive doesn't mean it isn't true"
[10:53 PM] maxwellelvis: "C'mon, be a pal! Pretty please?"
[10:53 PM] Mousa The 14: Mar-Vell: “You gave yourself that title? You know what? Keep it.”
[10:53 PM] Wack'd: I'm kidding, he talks about how Mar-Vell isn't bloodthirsty. But how do I know? I've never read a book with him
[10:54 PM] Mousa The 14: Really, coulda swore showed up in FF previously
[10:54 PM] Bocaj: He's a super saiyan
[10:54 PM] maxwellelvis: From what I know the only thing that sets Mar-Vell off is Thanos.
[10:54 PM] maxwellelvis: But then, who isn't?
[10:54 PM] Wack'd: Anyway turns out bloodthirsty "kill him now" Mar-Vell is the imposter
[10:54 PM] Wack'd: Stunner
[10:54 PM] Mousa The 14: Shock above all shocks
[10:55 PM] maxwellelvis: "Would you like me to shoot him now or wait til you get home?"
[10:55 PM] maxwellelvis: "SHOOT HIM NOW! SHOOT HIM NOW!"
[10:55 PM] maxwellelvis: "You keep out of this, I don't have to shoot you now."
[10:56 PM] maxwellelvis: "Well I say you DO have to shoot me now! I DEMAND you shoot me now! ....mother!"
[10:56 PM] Wack'd: Reed, smartly, also asks this Mar-Vell for proof of identity, and Mar-Vell has him stare into his eyes and see the whole of existence
[10:56 PM] Wack'd: And Reed believes him and doesn't notice the syringe full of alien hallucinogens that I've just been plunged into his arm nah I'm kidding
[10:56 PM] Wack'd: It's the real deal
[10:57 PM] Umbramatic: alien hallucinogens are the good stuff
[10:57 PM] Wack'd: This story still isn't over though! More Skrulls show up! Eight of them! Plus the other two makes Ten
[10:58 PM] Wack'd: They're the ten prime Skrulls chosen for this mission
[10:58 PM] Umbramatic: and that's terrible
[10:58 PM] maxwellelvis: Even with the other three KO'd, that shouldn't be a problem.
[10:58 PM] Wack'd: So, you know, I know we've all probably forgotten about that awful pun in the title, but here's our evidence it was reversed engineered
[10:59 PM] Wack'd: Anyway the other three of Four miraculously wake up and return from being stunned earlier
[10:59 PM] Wack'd: Fight fight fight
[11:00 PM] Bocaj: ACTION SCENE NOW
[11:01 PM] Wack'd: I guess this was all a parable about ethics and science? Seems to me like it was mostly about dumb imposter reveals but okay
[11:01 PM] Bocaj: its like action league now is the joke
[11:01 PM] Wack'd: I understood that reference
[11:01 PM] Bocaj: Ok but why is it that the work can't be precisely repeated
[11:02 PM] Bocaj: Reed. You do understand that’s the definition of the scientific method, right?
[11:02 PM] Bocaj: The fuck you doing if its not that?
[11:02 PM] maxwellelvis: I'd have to assume it's the portal aspect he means.
[11:02 PM] Umbramatic: "dumb imposter reveals" are just what happens every time you involve skrulls
[11:02 PM] Wack'd: If I had to take a wild guess his funding was conditional on results, he had only gotten a result like two hours ago, and then it immediately got blown up
[11:03 PM] Wack'd: Whoever gave him the money to build this thing is not going to accept "Skrulls ate my homework"
[11:03 PM] Wack'd: But this story also says that Reed had never done faster than light travel before so who fucking knows
[11:04 PM] Bocaj: What a bafflement
[11:04 PM] Wack'd: Speaking of bafflements
[11:04 PM] Wack'd: There is an epilogue
[11:04 PM] Wack'd: In which it turns out Sue, Johnny and Ben had been gotten out of the way by sent back in time two hours
[11:05 PM] Wack'd: And now there are duplicates who need to imminently depart to go fight Skrulls
[11:05 PM] Bocaj: huh.
[11:05 PM] maxwellelvis: I'm surprised Aleph Null hasn't chimed with a remark about a resonance cascade
[11:07 PM] Aleph Null: "It's not- it's not shutting down!"
[11:09 PM] Wack'd: Anyway there's a second story!
[11:09 PM] Wack'd: Normally I wouldn't bother because the Four aren't in it
[11:09 PM] Wack'd: Buuuuuut
[11:09 PM] Wack'd: Well
[11:09 PM] Wack'd: When last we saw Latveria, Doom had been institutionalized and Zorba had taken over as an interm leader while elections are set up
[11:10 PM] Aleph Null: love democracy!
[11:10 PM] Wack'd: So we should. Probably find out why it's not like that going forward
[11:10 PM] Mousa The 14: One might say the democracy was doomed to fail in Latveria
[11:10 PM] Wack'd: Ha!
[11:10 PM] Aleph Null: like in america
[11:10 PM] Mousa The 14: There can only be one victor in the contest of ruling that nation
[11:11 PM] Wack'd: I like that Moench is actually, like, giving time to this. I feel like in the modern comics climate a lot of folks would just quietly ignore previous runs or dismantle them offpanel
[11:11 PM] Wack'd: But also this is a dumb status quo reversion so like
[11:12 PM] Umbramatic: welp
[11:12 PM] Aleph Null: there are smart status quo reversions?
[11:13 PM] maxwellelvis: Ending the Clone Saga
[11:14 PM] Wack'd: So the first two pages of this are heady political debate! Zorba's tax policy is coming under protest since Doom preferred to fund things with, you know, crime, so taxes are kind of a new thing for folks
[11:17 PM] Wack'd: Zorba feels it's unfair that people are ignoring his civil liberties reform but his advisor points out that since most people never had direct contact with Doom, their day-to-day lives weren't much impacted by what a huge shithead he was
[11:18 PM] Wack'd: His advisor also points out that if you give people the right to protest, well, sometimes middle-class assholes who don't want higher taxes are going to be the ones waving signs
[11:19 PM] Umbramatic: oh great lavertia still has republicans
[11:20 PM] Wack'd: The advisor however also reminds Zorba that, at one time, he was the protestor, and he should be cautious of that worm turning
[11:20 PM] Wack'd: Especially with most of Doom's inner circle being mysteriously unaccounted for
[11:20 PM] Umbramatic: 🤔
[11:20 PM] Wack'd: (Doom having an inner circle is kind of a surprise to me but, like, he runs a country, a cabinet is probably necessary)
[11:21 PM] Umbramatic: the cabnet is just a bunch of doombots
[11:21 PM] maxwellelvis: He's got Boris, and he's got... his national superhero, forgot her name
[11:21 PM] Bocaj: Victorious. She's newer
[11:22 PM] maxwellelvis: She's there to do the stuff he's can't be at, because even DOOM cannot be everywhere.
[11:22 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Zorba is like "please, for any real resistance to happen, Doom himself would have to have escaped, but he's still in his cell--"
[11:22 PM] maxwellelvis: "Oh no! OH NO!"
[11:22 PM] Wack'd: I'll give you three guesses what is actually in Doom's cell right now
[11:23 PM] Bocaj: Doombot?
[11:23 PM] Wack'd: Yep
[11:23 PM] maxwellelvis: A vaguely Doom-shaped dummy with a broom, a bucket, and his old cloak?
[11:23 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh.
[11:24 PM] Bocaj: The thing about many latverian citizens not being directly oppressed really lines up with my grand theory of statesman doom
[11:24 PM] Aleph Null: wait so this actually has things to say about politics?
[11:24 PM] Wack'd: Yeah! Whoda thunk
[11:24 PM] Wack'd: Zorba's advisor, whose name is Starn, thank you comic
[11:24 PM] Wack'd: Starn is like "we need to infiltrate the Doom loyalist underground to find out how this happened"
[11:25 PM] Wack'd: And Zorba's like "spying is against civil liberties so, uh, no"
[11:25 PM] Wack'd: Given how the story ends I'm really hoping that the moral isn't "civil liberties are bad sometimes actually"
[11:26 PM] Bocaj: Good hustle though, zorba
[11:27 PM] Bocaj: In the sports sense
[11:28 PM] Aleph Null: the only way to beat a bad guy with a fascist security state is a good guy with a fascist security state
[11:28 PM] Wack'd: Zorba awakes from a PTSD nightmare to the realization that if the loyalists have spirited away Doom, well, he's kinda fragile right now, he'd need his armor
[11:28 PM] Wack'd: And arrives in its vault just in time to be ambushed by loyalists
[11:28 PM] Bocaj: Womp womp
[11:29 PM] Wack'd: *sigh* Goddammit Zorba
[11:29 PM] Wack'd: Also that "crucial minutes too late" remark makes me think Starn is in on it
[11:31 PM] Wack'd: Doom is revived but, when the captured soldier appears mere minutes later, Doom realizes it's a trap and a shootout ensues
[11:32 PM] Wack'd: Zorba barely manages to escape, and Doom decides that before he can return to power he needs to make sure he has no more challengers. Ever.
[11:32 PM] Wack'd: And that's where we leave things.
[11:33 PM] Wack'd: Oh also max mentioned Boris earlier so here's a Boris
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The Marvels of Roy Thomas
2018 saw revival of an era that was known for Roy Thomas’ writings and co-created characters that go back to the late 60s. At first, in September of 2018 it was announced that Marvel would start or re-start publishing three ongoing Conan titles and in the same month came the 1st trailer of Captain Marvel (starring Carol Danvers/Brie Larson), a character created by Roy Thomas and Gene Colan
Buy Marvel Legends Captain Marvel Wave here
Carol would become Ms. Marvel in late 70s (thanks to Gerry Conway, Carla Danvers, John Buscemi and Joe Sinnot) as part of drive to launch more superheroines but she would recieve her powers much earlier in Captain Marvel no. 18 (1968) when Thomas was writing the title
Co-Creations
For those who don’t know much about Roy Thomas, he not only succeeded Stan Lee as Marvel’s Editor-in-Chief but is also someone who co-created many of Marvel’s most popular characters, many of whom have graced the silver-screen along with TV. It is hard to imagine anyone other than Stan Lee who has co-created more characters than him. To name a few of Thomas’ co-creations, they include (but not limited to) Wolverine, Ghost Rider, Man-Thing, Valkyrie, The Defenders, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Morbius the Living Vampire, Black Knight, Vision, Adam Warlock, Yellow Jacket and.......Ultron (Defenders is the only team that was solely conceived by him)
Buy Marvel Visionaries: Roy Thomas
When Diversity became the new norm
If the concept of an Anti-Hero was introduced by Timely Comics in the Golden Age with Namor the Sub-Mariner, its popularity reached new heights in the 70s thanks to Thomas’ co-created characters. In fact, the Bronze Age of comics began with the introduction of anti-heroes such as Wolverine, Punisher and Ghost Rider followed by Hollywood inspired characters such as Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Morbius and Shang-Chi that were Marvel’s approach to meet the demands of Blaxploitation, Kung-Fu and Vampire fans at the time
Gone were the days of a major super-hero with his/her own title being a White male or female nor were they a reflection of a WASP-ian world which DC Comics couldn’t get out of. Of course, Stan Lee, Steve Ditko and Jack Kirby laid the foundation for such a universe but during Roy Thomas’ tenure at Marvel; the horizon was broadened. This new approach paved the way for Marvel to launch standalone titles for characters like Black Panther written by Don McGregor with art by Billy Graham and Rich Buckler
Roy Thomas’ Imagination...second only to Stan
As a writer, Roy was Stan’s true successor. His uncanny ability to take storywriting and character creation to a whole new level makes it popular among today’s readership much like Stan and Jack’s work. When we compare him with his successors, they were mainly “leaders” who took Marvel to new heights due to their superb Editorial skills/leadership but their level of creativity couldn’t match with what Thomas had delivered. Joe Quesada comes a close second but his Editorial tenure is more about redefining characters and injecting Indy blood into mainstream comics. In case of Thomas, achieved success as a writer, editor and a co-creator similar to Stan
But what makes his contributions to Marvel unique from the rest are highlighted below:
Marvel’s 1st Inter-Galactic War
Buy Avengers: Kree/Skrull War here
Galactus came to devour Earth. the Skrulls infiltrated life on Earth only to end up as cows but the Kree/Skrull War was different. This was the first Space Opera of EPIC proportions. In this story, Earth is caught up in an Inter-Galactic war between the Kree and Skrull empires
The arc involed Avengers, Captain Marvel (Mar-Vell) and Fantastic Four as protagonists and such an excercise at a grand scale at the time was never done before. Yes there were guest appearances by fellow heroes but having something that would be the foundation for future cross-over events to come was the first of its kind. This series was way ahead of its time to the extent that it served as a foundation for Brian Michael Bendis’ Secret Invasion arc in 2008. This just shows the richness of the content
Enter Retcons
Both Marvel and DC had practically shelved much of their Golden Age characters that weren’t first tier superheroes. It was Roy who still saw potential in them and had cross-overs in which the Golden Age characters would time travel to meet their future selves or their Silver Age replacements. Of course this just didn’t give birth to the new, ground breaking concept of Retroactive Continuity (Retcon) but it also gave birth to new characters that would keep Golden Age continuity fresh for Silver Age audiences
Buy Invaders’ collection here
What Ifs & Team-Ups
DC Comics had an on-going series called Imaginary Stories which served as the pre-cursor to Elseworlds imprint in the late 80s. Marvel didn’t have a title that would have stories of its flagship characters that weren’t part of its mainsteam continuity. Again, this gap was filled by Thomas with the What If title that continued till 1984
Buy What If Classic collection here
Another successful title was Marvel Team-Up which mostly starred Spider-Man. The series co-created by Thomas and Ross Andru continued till 1985, explored various superhero combos within the mainstream continuity of Marvel Universe
Buy Marvel Team-Up collections here
The Deal Maker & a Savior
While working as an associate Editor in 1970, Thomas proposed to the then publisher of Marvel (Martin Goodman) to license Robert E. Howard’s Conan. The reason for doing so that Marvel was recieving requests to have literary properties adapted into comics and Conan was the most requested by the fans. It wasn’t easy to get it done as the budget was limited for licensing. But Roy was so dedicated to his work that he was even willing to knock a couple pages off his rate “to even things out"
The deal happened, Barry Windsor-Smith was hired to do the art and the rest is history. Conan The Barbarian continued till 1993 making it one of Marvel’s most successful title in the 70s
Buy Conan the Barbarian: The Original Marvel Years Omnibus Vol. 1
Another licensing feat for Thomas was of Star Wars. In his blog post entitled “Roy Thomas saved Marvel”, former Marvel Editor-in-Chief Jim Shooter (who was an associate Editor in the mid-70s) recalls the struggle Marvel was enduring due to weak titles suffering from bad content strategy that resulted in declining sales. As a way out of financial misery, Roy had suggested to license an upcoming science fiction movie called Star Wars and publish an adaptation thereof
While Jim and Roy didn’t see each other eye-to-eye and due to their disagreements Roy ended up writing exclusively for DC Comics in the early 80s, the following excerpt from Jim’s blog post says it all about Roy’s initiative and its success that continued well into the next decade:
“There was a lot of opposition to Star Wars. Even Stan wasn’t keen on the idea.
Even I wasn’t. I had no prejudice against science fiction, but wasting time on an adaptation of a movie with a dumb title described as an “outer space western?”
I was told—don’t know for sure—that George Lucas himself came to Marvel’s offices to meet with Stan and help convince him that we should license Star Wars. I was told that Stan kept him waiting for 45 minutes in the reception room. Apocryphal? Maybe. Roy would know. But if so, it still reflects the mood at the time.
I don’t know how Roy got it done. I was just the associate editor, and not privy to much of the wrangling that went on. But, Roy got the deal done and we published Star Wars.”
- Jim Shooter: Roy Thomas saved Marvel
This was a time when Disney didn’t own Marvel and Star Wars. Just imagine where Marvel would be today had it not been for this deal worked out by Roy
End Note
It is fair to say that his work at Marvel has had a cult following over the years but now its going mass considering the the successes witnessed at the box office and Netflix
The re-launch of Star Wars comics in 2015 saw a million copies sold of its first issue, Marvel in 2018 won the rights to re-publish Conan titles, the What If title has also been re-launched
All of this begs the question: What was the secret behind Roy’s successes at Marvel? He may be the only writer/creator one can think of who was able to gauge popularity of Hollywood’s entertainment genres with comic book readership at the time. In most of his works, Hollywood’s reflections cannot be ignored. In the 60s, it was the Star Trek & Space Odyssey inspired space opera, in the 70s it was Kung-Fu, Blaxploitation, Anti-Heroes and Crime-fighting duos
In the year 2019, with the release of Captain Marvel movie in March; the superhero fans are being entertained with comics and movies that owe a great deal to this man. It wouldn’t be odd to name 2019 as ‘The Year of the Roy’
➡️ Get the entire Roy Thomas’ Marvel collection here
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