wanderingmind867

[wanderingmind867]

Pre-hoo Jason

[wanderingmind867]

[wanderingmind867]

A compliment for some pokemon games (albeit a compliment that can probably almost be read as a complaint): sometimes their designs are so good that it becomes impossible to pick which ones to use. This sometimes makes my brain upset, since the six pokemon at a time limit means I have to make hard decisions. And trust me when I say this: I suck with decisions just as much in a video game as I do in real life. Any decision (no matter how major or minor) becomes a big ordeal for me.

And so many of these designs are adorable, so you almost want to just use all of them. So I feel like I'm gonna end up doing that. Back as a kid, I think I did something like that. But as I age, apparently it gets harder for my brain to accept things like change and decision making. I don't know, but it sure seems like the case. I started writing this a while ago, and now I don't know how to end this. So I'll just post this now, and I have to hope I successfully articulated myself here.

[wanderingmind867]

[wanderingmind867]

do you know what literally drives me up the fucking wall?

[wanderingmind867]

I think Gerry Conway and Doug Moench may have just been the final defining writers of pre crisis batman. I haven't read much of their stuff, but I know they introduced a lot of interesting concepts. Killer Croc, Jason Todd, Black Mask, Nocturna, Hamilton Hill, Harvey Bullock, Julia Remarque, etc. I feel like at least some of their characters haven't been utilized well since the crisis (especially Julia Remarque, Alfred's secret french daughter), but that's not to say the characters aren't good. If anything, it's me insulting the writers post crisis. Because I think gerry conway and doug moench left things in a good state, and yet dc rewrote their legacy by papering over it and even killing off Jason Todd, a character they put a lot of effort into creating. So yeah. I think Gerry Conway and Doug Moench were probably the last great batman writers, even if I haven't read much of their stuff.

[wanderingmind867]

Joker is one of my favourite batman villains, and I'd say that's because he actually makes me smile in a way Batman often doesn't. He's completely crazy, and he revels in it. It's hard not to like that. He embodies fun, comedy, humour and madness. All my favourite things. Tragedy is sad, a cruel kick in the face in a world already full of misery. Why should I like sad drama? I'm already naturally pessimistic, and I just want a reason to smile. Somehow, Joker sort of feels like a character who's inherently understanding of that fact. Why be sad, when he can simply spread his sick joy to the world!? Laughing gas, ridiculous weapons and gadgets, stupid crimes ranging from the petty to the killer, Joker is just impossible for me to hate. In the same way Superman inspires hope and optimism in me, Joker inspires mirth and laughter. I know he's a played out villain, but there's a reason he works. Almost every actor knows that he has to be funny and gleeful, and so he almost always works for me.

Batman is just so dark. Especially post crisis batman. And darkness does nothing for me. Joker is almost all bright colours and ridiculous humour. He's the one that makes me feel better, even if he is a villain. I know that probably sounds weird, but it's all true.

[wanderingmind867]

Apparently this post got zero notes. Maybe I just made myself seem unlikable here? I don't know, but I'm reblogging this post again just in case. Because who knows? Maybe someone'll like it.

I am the type of person who will complain about anything and everything. If I see something that I don't really like is popular online, it will start to grate on me. It will annoy me and agitate me until I begin to want to scream at people to shut up already! I don't know why I can be like this. I guess I could just be one of those contrarian types who hates new and/or popular things. It could be an offshoot of my hatred of change. When trends grow and the things I see change, it can grate. I don't think this really paints a flattering picture of me, but what else can I say? I struggle with changing my behavior, so I've just gotten used to tolerating myself.

[wanderingmind867]

[wanderingmind867]

Okay, I can apologize for this post now. But I bet it was cathartic to write it last october. I can't really remember, but complaining is practically one of my gifts. My complaints are sometimes nonsensical, but I still have a natural spark of pessimism and negativity. It's bad, but I am aware of my issues.

Because I'm stressed out right now, and also because i'm a contrarian who hates new things and hates seeing something i don't understand get discussed constantly, i am going to just allow myself to pick some targets to be my punching bags. Better to yell at media than at my dad or at others, i suppose. Although knowing me, i could still end up yelling at my dad before the night's over. I'm not the most pleasant person. sigh...

Anyways, it's contrarian aggression time! My targets: stupid greek mythology musicals! Epic the musical and hadestown and anything that isn't Percy Jackson or Disney's Hercules, I'm going to be attacking you to release some aggression. I don't know why we need musicals about horribly depressing pieces of media made up by horrible people centuries ago, but get out of here! Screw you, Orpheus! Take your tragic harp and go hang yourself with it! Take it too, Odysseus! I can't understand your story because it's written in horrible ancient writing styles, so screw you!

Screw the Greek and Roman afterlife! Might actually be worse than the stupid Christian concept of heaven and hell, and i say that as someone who hates the abrahamic faiths! Screw the illiad, the Odyssey, the Aeneid, and all these other stupid ancient books! One ancient religious text is just as bad as another! It's incomprehensible nonsense, and most of the time it's so sad that I want to strangle the author for making me feel even more depressed than I usually do! Screw all of this nonsense! Burn it, bury it, start fresh with more optimistic myths! I said it! Mythology should be mostly hopeful, not tragic!

I hate tragedy! I hate horror! The only genre I really like is comedy, but heaven forbid we get any good clear, comprehensible ancient comedies! gods forbid! I hate it! And don't get me started on that idiot Shakespeare! If we switch from idiots like Homer and whoever the hell wrote the bible to shakespeare, then we'll be here for another five paragraphs. So I'm ending this here. But who knows? I might come back for Shakespeare later. I certainly hate him enough to do so.

[wanderingmind867]

I’m over 5'5 (I'm not sure of my height right now, actually. But I know it's above 5'5)/ I wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / I prefer loose clothing over tight clothes (for the most part) / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face (i don't know) / i play sport / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / I like writing (complicated, but mostly yes) / I like to read / i can multitask / I’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years (unless my dad counts, then no)/ I am an only child

It took me a while to do this, and I don't know if I did it perfectly. So I won't decide to tag anyone until later, if at all.

tag game 🤭

rules: color the sentence that's true about you

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

this is a whole lot of yellow lmfao

no pressure tags: @marthawrites @schniiipsel @aemonddtargaryen @aemondsbabe @adragonprinceswhore @arcielee @black-dread @lovelykhaleesiii @aemondsbabygirl @valeskafics @connorsui

[wanderingmind867]

Well, I finally had my haircut today. I'm glad I have the hair gone for summer, but I hate that I got antsy and wriggled around so much in the chair. My dad couldn't cut it well with me as I was, and so now there's the problem of leftover hairs making me feel all itchy. I had a long shower, so most of it's gone. But the residual is the stuff that's making my life hellish. It's not fun to deal with. Not at all. It's sort of affecting my general feeling of well-being with my body, because nothing feels quite right. I'm sure I'll be better by tomorrow or friday, but still. It's not fun. Not fun at all.

[wanderingmind867]

Killer Croc did kill Jason's parents, so I think he'd make good on his threat. Croc is more vicious than anyone gives him credit for. His first story arc pre-crisis is really something. He's sort of sympathetic for his condition, but he's also not above killing Innocents.

I love them so much

[wanderingmind867]

(Detective Comics #503): Usually, I feel bad for supervillians. But not really here. Scarecrow was planning to drug Robin and Batgirl until they became constantly brain-dead with fear. And he had already drugged Batman with fear toxin, making everyone around him afraid of him. He was this close to snapping the minds of millions of people, and he has the gall to do it without even being funny! Say what you want about Joker, at least he leaves you laughing!

Scarecrow is just...well, Poison Ivy and her love toxins and plant powers make me feel a little more uncomfortable. But Scarecrow is the other major villian who I don't really like much. Because of me being super sensitive and naturally fearful, he sort of embodies a whole slew of things I despise. So... I kind of feel like he got what he freaking deserved. Reduced to a constantly scared mess, the man finally knows true fear. The fear he gave others. I hope it hurts. A real menace, one that has no redeeming qualities to him. Not to me, most of the time.

[wanderingmind867]

I'm scared, especially because he's a saint. I yell at him when I'm stressed. I yell and insult him, and he just takes it. He even sometimes seems to imply he's fine with it, and I know that's not good. Sometimes I feel like my dad's a doormat to my aggression, and that makes me ashamed of my aggression. But I still take it out on him sometimes, because I have a desire for a physical, living outlet for my anger.

I never show anybody else my anger. Because nobody would accept it like my dad would. I bottle it all up outside the house, and then it gets unloaded around him. It makes me wonder if I only do this because I can get away with it, or if I do it because I actually just have anger issues. It's like a "Which came first: the chicken or the egg?" kind of scenario. Because there's no incorrect answer. I could seriously do it because my brain thinks it's an acceptable and unpunishable thing, because I seem to get less angry when I'm alone or in public without my dad. But I definitely do have strong anger, so it can't all be fake. But the conundrum of not knowing makes me feel upset. It sucks.

And I should probably talk to my therapist about all this. I see her at the end of July. So I think I'm gonna turn this into a note on my phone. Because seriously - this is an important area of discussion for me. And I'm also gonna dig out one of my old posts about my dependency. It feels like it'd be kind of important now. sigh...

My dad's only home three full days a week. He works Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. From midnight to 1:20 am to 11:50 pm, he's at work. I don't always mind the schedule, because it means my dad's always home in time to help me keep my evening routine. But I will admit: having no friends in real life outside of my dad means feeling a bit lonely when i'm alone for too long. It's not often I feel that way, though. I get really used to my dad being my only company, and I share nearly everything with him. I just always worry he's never paying full attention. But that's a problem on my own part, not my dad's.

Still, I probably need more friends in real life. I'm dependent on my dad, and he's like my only real friend who i'm open and honest with. Since I have nobody else, i'm always scared of losing him and winding up alone. Hence all these many worries related to my sociability and me not spending enough time with him. I feel kind of tired (due to the cloudy weather and stuff where I am), but I feel like I should just post this as it is for now.

[wanderingmind867]

i think tumblr should put hearts and stars around my mutuals when they appear in my notifs

[wanderingmind867]

My dad's only home three full days a week. He works Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. From midnight to 1:20 am to 11:50 pm, he's at work. I don't always mind the schedule, because it means my dad's always home in time to help me keep my evening routine. But I will admit: having no friends in real life outside of my dad means feeling a bit lonely when i'm alone for too long. It's not often I feel that way, though. I get really used to my dad being my only company, and I share nearly everything with him. I just always worry he's never paying full attention. But that's a problem on my own part, not my dad's.

Still, I probably need more friends in real life. I'm dependent on my dad, and he's like my only real friend who i'm open and honest with. Since I have nobody else, i'm always scared of losing him and winding up alone. Hence all these many worries related to my sociability and me not spending enough time with him. I feel kind of tired (due to the cloudy weather and stuff where I am), but I feel like I should just post this as it is for now.