the loneliness and sadness that creeps into you in a way that only growing up queer can cause. your parents can accept you and still make you feel like an outsider. your parents can love you and still reject parts of you. that old-fashioned kind of love where they think trying to mold you, make you tough, is better for you. or that quiet status quo where you just don't talk. and where everyone is accepted, though some are more than others. generations and generations it's just been easier to let it slide. to let it be. not cause a fuss. but then we sit there with a knot in our chests all our lives wondering how it got there
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i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!
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i love watching old cyberpunk2077 trailers and seeing how cool or badass they try to make v(incent) out to be when
hes literally the saddest looking white fence in this whole world. hes on that shit that got jesse pinkman girlies insane. he'll cry if you're mean 2 him and he has his ass handed to him by the ncpd daily
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Hey guys, you ever have a special interest and in that special interest you fixate on a character a BIT too much to the point where if you think about certain bad events that happened to this character, your chest begins to hurt and you become really fixated on it? And this causes you to feel more discomfort and sadness. And any sort of mention or media, fan made or offical of these bad events that occured to this character makes you feel terrible and start to sweat a little? But sometimes you can handle it while other times it causes you not to sleep well and you feel miserable the entire day? Ruining your concentration and good mood you had earlier.
And then people online make the discomfort worse by saying false info and making the events seem way worse, making you feel like you're a nutcase and a fool for going deeper into the character by gathering outside informaton, and these false statements ruin your perception on the character that you tried to build BECAUSE of those misconceptions people make online about your favourite character in the first place?!
No? okay... me neither...
(image unrelated..... maybe... okay it is a little related..)
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I think it's only natural to feel anger when somebody isn't "taking your advice" or listening to you about their mental health or what will help them. People want to help people, and the anger comes when you are perceiving somebody as not being receptive but...
It can be a selfish impulse to say that your opinion about their illness is the only thing they need. It isn't about you, even though the advice you give is given by you.
Nobody deserves to suffer, this is true. But, also, nobody deserves to be forced to do things that either won't help or won't be genuine. If somebody isn't taking your advice, there's a reason for it (maybe it's not a good enough reason for you, but this isn't the point). It's okay to be disappointed or angry, but it's not going to help to lash out at them. That is only pouring water onto a grease fire.
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