Silent Night (2012)
Silent Night (2012) #Review
Synopsis- On Christmas Eve, in the parking area of a popular shopping centre, children aged between seven and 12 ask for charity from busy last-minute shoppers.
Director- Steven C. Miller
Starring- Malcolm McDowell, Jamie King, Donal Logue
Genre- Horror | Mystery
Released- 2012
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Silent Night is a modern-day horror remake that attempts to revive the classic slasher…
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Escape Plan 2: Hades (2018)
While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...
Escape Plan might not have been a great film but it had a solid premise. It was a decent hit at the box office, which is why (I’m guessing) some greedy Chinese producers decided to turn this into a franchise. This is an awful film. It barely feels like a follow-up to the 2013 picture because it tosses the main case aside to focus on new characters in a moronic plot entirely devoid of fun.
Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone) has expanded his security company with newcomers Shu Ren (Huang Xiaoming), Jasper Kimbral (Wes Chatham) and Luke Graves (Jesse Metcalfe). Now they do more than simply test the security measures of top-security penitentiaries: they also rescue hostages. After Kimbral makes a bad call and a hostage is killed, Breslin fires him. A year later, Shu and his cousin Yusheng Ma (Chen Tang) are kidnapped and imprisonned in a high-tech facility. Overseen by robot guards, “Hades” is ruled by “The Zookeeper”, who forces his prisoners to fight. Win and you get rations. Lose and you walk away with nothing.
They probably only had Stallone, 50 Cent and Jaime King for a couple of days, just enough time to have them at the beginning and at the end of the movie. In the middle, we’re following new characters you wouldn't care about even if they had been involved since the franchise started. Immediately, you know this super prison thing is tied to Kimbral. He’s a tech genius (a.k.a. hacker wizard) and isn't happy about being fired so of course he’s got to be the mastermind behind the curtain. He would've gotten away with his secret operation too, if only he hadn't kidnapped one of his ex-co-workers' cousin. Or maybe the coincidence is that one of his ex-co-workers had someone worth kidnapping. This film is not concerned with whether things make sense. This is why The Zookeeper has people fight in MMA-style battles, why the prison has robot guards but inmates cook food, why there are forcefields everywhere when metal bars would’ve sufficed. The building looks like a rejected set from Tron: Legacy and when you find out where it is hidden, you’ll flip your lid. None of this makes ANY sense.
To prevent you from falling asleep, scenes featuring a new character played by David Bautista have been shot/spliced in. All of them feel like they come from a bargain-bin action movie, the kind you star in when your power to attract audiences has dwindled to nothing but the most dedicated and brainwashed fans. Desperate audiences might have a couple of laughs at the expense of the way-too-dedicated-and-simultaneously-useless henchmen or ridiculous characters we meet in the prison - my favourite being a trio of hackers who dress like vampires and repeat “We are Legion” over and over. Even so, there isn’t a moment of Escape Plan 2 that makes you wonder why you haven’t shut it off yet.
With each character more boring than the last, the plot being essentially a re-tread of the first, the action scenes looking like they were shot from inside a washing machine and none of the performers displaying any charisma, Escape Plan 2: Hades almost has an unintentional meta-quality. It becomes a mega-dungeon that extinguishes all hope of escape. 96 minutes? Might as well be a life sentence. (October 2, 2020)
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Silent Night (2012)
Dir. Steven C. Miller
A Santa dressed killer is on the loose Christmas Eve. When Deputy Jordan goes AWOL, Deputy Aubrey Bradimore, planning on spending Christmas Eve with her parents, is forced to fill in for him by Sheriff Cooper. Aubrey stops at the church to think of John, whom she lost earlier that year. But the peace she finds is broken by a creepy minister. Back at the police station, the others are looking for suspicious packages before the parade. Aubrey is first sent to a Santa telling kids nasty things. Then she's sent to a smelly abandoned house, where she finds Jordan dead - evil Santa's first victim. She calls it in and looks for the woman reported missing. Evil Santa doesn't discriminate. He kills men, women and kids. Will Aubrey and co. get their Santa this Christmas in a town filled with Santas?
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Sing Shong, Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint // Black Box // R.M. Rilke, "The Guardian Angel" // George Seferis, "The Return of the Exile" (trans. Edmund Keeley) // Studio Dragon, Because This Is My First Life // John Banville, The Sea // Aeschylus, Agamemnon (trans. Herbert W. Smyth) // Anne Carson, "The Anthropology of Water" // Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life // @toupou39 on tw // Jennifer S. Cheng, "So We Must Meet Apart" // Madeline Miller, Circe // @chuunicalesimp // Richard Siken // Neil Gaiman // Richard Siken, "The Torn-Up Road" // Jamie Varon, "Does The Universe Fight For Souls To Be Together?" // Jennifer S. Cheng, "So We Must Meet Apart" // Sing Shong, UMI & Sleepy-C, Omniscient Reader (Webtoon) // Frank Bidart, "Guilty of Dust" // Lasah – Taixu // Ocean Vuong, Night Sky With Exit Wounds // see 1 // André De Shields & Hadestown Original Broadway Company – Road To Hell (Reprise) // @toiriot on tw // Unlike Pluto – We're Screwed // @moonbends // m.h // Euripides, Herakles (trans. Anne Carson) // Unlike Pluto – We're Screwed // Google search results // @toiriot on tw // see 1 // Chxrlotte – Come With Me // @roach-works // Lasah – Taixu // Sing Shong, UMI & Sleepy-C, Omniscient Reader (Webtoon) // Chxrlotte – Come With Me // Frank Bidart, "Guilty of Dust" // @dsssctd_ion on tw // Hans Christian Andersen, "The Snail and the Rosebush" // Will Stetson – Writing on the Wall // Michael Kinnucan, "The Gods Show Up" // Richard Siken, "Planet of Love" // Sufjan Stevens – Futile Devices // Warren Zevon – Keep Me in Your Heart // Katie Maria // @SION_428 on tw // see 1 // Pablo Neruda, 20 Love Sonnets and a Song of Despair // Mitski – My Love Mine All Mine // Vladimir Nabokov, Letters to Vera // Mahmoud Darwish, Memory for Forgetfulness: August, Beirut, 1982 // Sing Shong, UMI & Sleepy-C, Omniscient Reader (Webtoon) // Tim O'Brien, The Things They Carried (via @jomeimei421) // see 1 // @soracities // Black Box // see 1
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*These weren’t necessarily written and/or posted in May, but that’s when I read them 😊
🔥 - explicit/mature content
Star Wars
You Are in Love (Modern!Poe Dameron x Reader) - @alwritey-aphrodite (yes i am reccing this again. i will be reccing this until it's finished, dill with it)
Running to You, This Feels Like Good News, & Maybe I'll Get Drunk Again (Poe Dameron x F!Solo!Reader) - @dailyreverie
Gardens of Babylon (Cowboy!Din Djarin x Cowgirl!Reader) - @spacecowboyhotch
🔥Deft Hands (Poe Dameron x F!Reader) - @eyelessfaces
Offer (Din Djarin x Reader) - @softlyspector
The Two Faces of January
🔥Oxford Comma, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, & Arty Boy (Rydal Keener x F!Reader) - @whatthefishh
Triple Frontier
🔥Worth the Risk (bfd!Santiago Garcia x F!Reader) - @melodygatesauthor (second part)
🔥Family Vacation (bfd!Santiago Garcia x F!Reader) - @melodygatesauthor
🔥A Brilliant Idea (Santiago Garcia x F!Reader) - @melodygatesauthor
Distractions (Santiago Garcia x F!Reader) - @princessxkenobi
🔥Relief (Santiago Garcia x F!Reader) - @princessxkenobi
🔥Dusk Till Dawn (Santiago Garcia x F!Reader) - @be-the-spark-flyboy
🔥Belonging (Santiago Garcia x F!Reader) - @melodygatesauthor
Moon Knight
🔥Steven's First (Virgin!Steven Grant x F!Reader) - @melodygatesauthor
Gone Soft: Marc Spector Edition (Marc Spector x Reader) - @romanarose
Merry, Happy III (Jake Lockley x Muslim!Reader) - @whatthefishh
Neck Kisses (Steven Grant x Reader) - @eyelessfaces
🔥C*ck Therapy (Therapist!Steven Grant x Patient!Camgirl!Reader) - @whatthefishh
Bordeaux (Marc Spector x F!Reader) - @sweetly-yours-and-mine
🔥Dirty Driving (Jake Lockley x F!Reader) - @melodygatesauthor
🔥Drinking with Cupid (Marc Spector x F!Reader) - @moonknightly
🔥Making Trouble (Marc Spector x F!Reader) - @juneknight
🔥Colorblind (Marc Spector x F!Reader) - @astroboots
In the Eyes (Marc Spector x Reader) - @spacecowboyhotch
All That Matters (Jake Lockley x Reader, references to Marc Spector x Reader) - @midgardian-witch
The Dress (Marc Spector x Reader) - @sweetly-yours-and-mine
🔥The Pavlovian Response (Jake Lockley x F!Reader) - @missdictatorme
🔥Extra Credit (Professor!Steven Grant x F!Reader) - @melodygatesauthor
🔥Pillow Talk (Steven Grant x F!Reader) - @melodygatesauthor
Just Happy Accidents (Jake Lockley x Reader) - @romanarose
The Last of Us
🔥Old Soul (Joel Miller x F!Reader) - @softlyspector
🔥Falling into Place (Joel Miller x F!Reader) - @jake-g-lockley
🔥Games (Bodyguard!Joel x Actress!Reader) & 🔥High Enough (Ft. Dieter Bravo) - @psychedelic-ink
Waffle House Confessions (Joel Miller x F!Reader) - @softlyspector
🔥Lost in the Darkness (Joel Miller x F!Reader - Mafia AU) - @softlyspector
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
Darklight (Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader) - @psychedelic-ink
Inside Llewyn Davis
Intoxicated (Llewyn Davis x Reader) - @eyelessfaces
Sucker Punch
🔥A Long Night (Blue Jones x F!Reader) - @melodygatesauthor
Narcos
🔥Just Friends (Javier Peña x F!Reader) - @pedgeitopascal
The Sun Also Rises (Javier Peña x F!Reader) - @spacecowboyhotch (second part)
Thank you to all the wonderful writers for sharing their stories with us 🥰❤️
*For more recs, please feel free to check out my fic rec tag.
**If you’d like to have your fic removed from the list, I completely understand, just let me know
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