You Can Let It All Go - Freefall, Chapter 2 | | The Bad Batch x Jedi!Reader
Summary: Can you break someone's spirit if they're already inside themselves? If they've retreated into memories of happier times, of safety?
a/n: The chapters in this series are split into sections, Before and After. The before chapters are set during the Clone Wars, before TBB, with a slight AU. This chapter is mostly set 'before'
Warnings: hints of reader being in danger, fluff, oh god so much fluff, teasing brothers, flashback chapter set in the past, cuddling, teasing, Hunter in wet clothes
I do not allow any of my work to be republished without my consent, that being said, reblogs and comments are much appreciated if you liked it!✨
Words: 4.8k
Tags: @arctrooper69
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Now
They were trying to take everything from you. Your spirit, your strength, your power. They would keep going until nothing was left.
But they couldn’t take what was in your head.
They couldn’t take your memories.
Before
Coruscant always fascinated you. The way it felt almost real up on the higher levels, bright sunshine and open sky, plants that burst with colour and even a breeze that tickled your skin.
You especially loved the night sky, when they lowered some of the lights and you could find pockets of darkness where the real stars came through, winking and sparkling in colours you couldn’t even name.
But each level down, lower and lower, the light faded, the air became choked and the denizens became people you wouldn’t want to meet on those dark streets.
You supposed that was the downfall of the whole galaxy. Look a little deeper and things weren’t quite as they seemed.
There was barely a shift in the air around you, the smallest movement that any normal person wouldn’t have been able to feel.
But you were so tuned in, so aware of him, of all of them, that you’d feel them in your sleep. Even if the intensity of that awareness did surprise you sometimes.
You felt them all the time, moving around you like moons orbiting a planet. A unit that could not exist without the other.
You’d felt him approach a while ago, then settle into a state of stillness and calm, like he hadn’t wanted to disturb you.
Initially, you had been meditating, wanting to do it up here in the setting sun, and then under the stars rather than in a closed room.
He always managed to find you, always knew exactly where you were, all the time.
But as soon as that you’d sensed that feeling of strong warmth, fierce loyalty, a steady pulse that would never ever change… How could you focus?
So it had become a little game of sorts, you watching the skyline, feeling your Force sense itch to play, to wind through his ankles and drink up his steadiness, an anchor in the storm.
You still couldn’t put a finger on why you’d felt this strongly lately, why that admiration of how he led and moved had turned into something deeper and more intense.
But, you had had enough of the game. You wanted to talk, wanted to sit with him, just… be with him, without the clamour of battle or others. “You know, if you take a holograph, it’ll last longer. Then you can stare at me all the time, even when you’re brooding.” Your voice was light, playful, even if there was some kind of floaty feeling like wings in your chest.
“Should I ask why you’re staring so intensely at that skyline or do I not want to know?” Hunter’s deep, smooth baritone broke you free of your thoughts, his broad figure casting a slight shadow over your face. Then a very faint pout touched his lips, “And I do not brood.”
You gazed up at him finally, quirking an eyebrow, “Hunter, you brood more than anyone I know. You brood more than Cross, and that’s saying something.” There was a faint laugh in your voice, one that only he could draw out of you and you patted the space next to you, reading the silent question in his eyes even from down here.
Still, he hesitated a second as if to check you were okay with this, before he eased himself down, stretching one leg out and keeping the other up bent by his chest, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He grumbled the words but you could spy the tiny twitch of his lips, the glint in his eyes, reflecting the starlight from above.
His shoulder brushed yours with every easy breath he took, sending tiny shockwaves through you each time.
You chuckled a little again, looking out at the stars with him, just enjoying the quiet up here, the steady weight of the man beside you.
When you first joined the boys, Hunter would try and fill these silences, unsure of himself, the words sounding stilted almost. But it wasn’t until he began to learn that you liked the quiet moments with someone else, especially when you’d fallen into a non-verbal mood.
It was just… reassuring. To sit here, no pressure to talk, to just share each other's warmth and presence like the very anchor he felt like.
“Are you okay?” Hunter’s rough voice broke the silence after a moment, and you could tell he had been fighting to ask from the moment he found you up here. He was so in tune to his squad, not just from those enhanced senses but because that was his job as a Sergeant. That’s what Rex would do, and that’s what Hunter tried to do and be.
A star sparked and shot across the sky, bursting into hundreds of tiny fragments, capturing your attention and you let out a breathless smile at the sight, not caring if it was real or if this was a simulation. It was still breathtaking.
Hunter gazed down at you, wondering why you’d fallen silent but then he caught your expression, the wonder filling your eyes that gave him a glimpse of the girl beneath Ghost, the one who just wanted to see the world, without all the smoke and carnage and pain.
It hit him like a bantha tearing over his chest, the sudden urge, no the desire, to give you that freedom, that space to become the girl you really were underneath the armour the war gave you and you donned to protect yourself.
You watched the star fall toward the horizon, drawing your eyes to land on the shining Jedi Temple across the city, the beacon to all that their galaxy was protected. Of course, there was something to be said about the fact that it sat on the highest level, the cleanest level whilst everyone else toiled and fought miles below.
If he noticed you avoiding the question, he didn’t say anything, choosing instead to focus on what you were feeling right now, “Do you miss it? Being in the Temple, being with General Skywalker and the others?” He adjusted his arm resting on his knee, his shoulder brushing yours again, sending yet more tingly shocks through your blood.
Did you miss it?
That was the question, wasn’t it?
A thoughtful little hum rose from your chest, making you cock your head as you still watched the Temple, “I do miss them, being with them and getting into trouble. I miss the way it felt so easy, like it was us four against the world, you know?” You looked over at Hunter, knowing that's how he felt with his boys, “That even though everything can be turning into a mess outside, you still have that close knit bond that nothing can break.”
He nodded, a faint smile touching his lips as he no doubt thought of his brothers, “You always have each other, no matter what.” He toyed with something in his hands, a rock or something from the roof, “We could see how close you all were when we were on Skako Minor, the way you all moved without needing to see each other, the way you trusted each other.” Hunter was quiet for a moment, “You were the only one who truly believed Rex. I could see it in your eyes, you had the same look as he did.”
A cold breeze danced down your neck and you shivered lightly, drawing your gaze away from the Temple, bringing it down to where your sabers rested on the ground in front of you, “I knew. I always felt something, I felt something at the end of the Force but I could never put my finger on what it meant. I just knew he wasn’t dead… And when Rex told me what he’d found, I realised what it was. That he was alive.” You toyed with the belt clip on the end of your lightsaber, needing something to occupy your hands with, “I would have gone with Rex alone to find him. There was no way I was leaving one of my soldiers, one of my best friends behind.” A heavy breath escaped its way from your chest, because that mission was one of those that had set up permanent residence in your brain, choosing to rear its head on the nights you attempted to sleep.
Hunter brought his other leg up to his chest, swapping so the one closest to you was stretched out, opening his body up to you, giving you a space, “The way you and Rex tore through that facility, the determination in your eyes… It was what I feel for my brothers, that acceptance that you would do anything to protect them.” His brows drew in heavily, jaw clenching and the pattern of his tattoo rippled along his skin, “I’ll never forget what he looked like in there, hooked up to that machine.”
You swallowed the bitter taste that arose in your throat, that crawling sensation that skittered over your skin like a thousand tiny legs. In the darkness of the shadows, you saw Echo hooked up to those machines, saw the life being pumped out of him, the way they’d changed him, tried to dehumanise him. “Me either.” The echoed words were hollow, that sensation becoming almost too much to bear and you instinctively curled your nails into your palms, desperate to feel that sharp bite of pain, needing something to shake away that clammy feeling and the memories that followed, the way you tore through the facility and wrecked vengeance on those that hurt your best friend.
So much blood.
He didn’t say anything, just shifted closer, his hip then his side coming in to press against yours. His warmth seeped into your bones, chasing away that feeling like sunlight on ice and you sunk against him without a second’s hesitation, allowing your body to unclench as you trusted in him to hold you up.
Safe. Steady. Two of the things you always associated with Hunter, no matter the situation, even if you were disagreeing over something.
He was a sturdy shelter in the storm, so much like Rex, yet his own man too.
“What was he like? Before all of this?” Hunter’s voice rumbled gently from above your head as the weight of his jaw rested carefully against your hair, the sensation sending more of those pleasant shivers through your body and calming you.
You brought your legs up so your knees rested against his thigh, allowing your eyes to unfocus, for that part of your mind to dissociate and turn to happier memories, “Headstrong. Vibrant. A soldier so incredibly loyal to his men and Commanders that he wouldn’t hesitate to do the right thing.” You smiled a little, feeling your eyes turn a little heavy with Hunters warmth, “Much like he is now, actually.”
Hunter chuckled very softly, more a rough hum in his throat, “Yeah, you got that right.” He breathed once, twice, voice softer, “Was he happy?”
You released a sigh of your own now, allowing your eyes to drift closed, “We all were… But despite everything, I wouldn't change a thing. This was the path chosen for me by me. If I stayed where I was.. Maybe I wouldn't have been truly happy after all. I wouldn't have been whole, I wouldn’t have been myself.” The words might not be making sense, but they were important, and you needed to tell him how grateful you were, “I can be myself with you and the boys, Hunter. I don’t need to hide who I am.”
As if he felt the way your body was relaxing - which he most likely did, he carefully settled his arm over your shoulders, large hand encompassing the top of your arm as he rubbed it gently, “You never need to hide with us, Ghost. You’re one of us now.” He lightly tapped the top of your arm, where your own version of the Batch’s skull sat on your armour when you had it on, “You’re what we always needed, what we didn’t even realise we were missing.”
A happy hum lifted from your lips, your body lulled into sleep almost instantly just from his presence, his warmth. You didn’t know how he did it, how he made your brain and body give into the slumber you so desperately tried to fend off with caf and stims. But like this, with him… There were rarely any nightmares, like they didn’t dare venture out of the dark for fear of the hunter tearing them apart.
Hunter rested his chin on the top of your head, eyes closed as he felt you slump into him, heard your breathing even out and he spoke the rest of his words into the Coruscant night, “What I didn’t realise I was missing.”
~~
The change from warm body to cool sheets stirred you from your sleep, making you blink with sleepy eyes, seeing the blurry shape of Hunter filling your vision, “Hunt?” The words were incoherent, sleep still taking over your brain so all your defences, your walls… They were gone.
You felt his heart stumble through that permanent Force link you kept with the boys… Or maybe you just imagined it in this state, “I’m here, Ghost. It’s okay, I’m just putting you to bed.” He settled you in comfortably, making sure your head was supported by pillows before he brought your covers up over your body, their warm weight already easing you back down.
As he smoothed them over your shoulders, you were suddenly hit with the undeniable urge to have him stay here, to revel in that feeling of safety and the knowledge that you could let go of those walls and just be. You didn’t have to think, you didn’t have to use your head or feel or do anything. Right now, in this space, you could just be you. “Stay…” Sleep was beginning to drag you down but you fought against it, needing him to understand.
Hunter hesitated, his honey-dark eyes widening in the faint light of your room as he gazed down at you, one hand still on your shoulders, “Ghost…” He breathed the word, wondering if he heard you correctly, if this was something you truly wanted.
You managed to fight sleep enough to force your eyes open, focusing on him and you laced your fingers through his own warm, rough ones, the hands of a soldier, just like your own, “Hunt, please stay with me.” You looked up into his eyes, eyes that kept you safe, eyes that you’d seen countless times and trusted but yet they were so unique in their own right.
His entire expression softened at the nickname, the question, his neck bobbing as he swallowed and he nodded, “Of course.” He settled himself carefully on the edge of the bed, as if to perch there and watch over you but it wasn’t enough.
You shook your head a little, clutching his hand closer, fighting to keep your head upright, “No…” You squeezed his hand, willing him to understand the words you were too tired to say.
But this was Hunter, and he knew you. He didn’t need enhanced senses for that, even if it felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest and his breathing felt unsteady. It was a feeling he felt around you, but he just couldn’t put a name to it, couldn’t put a name to the cacophony of intense emotion he felt whenever it came to you. “Okay, okay... One second.” He squeezed your hand back, allowing you to move first and disentangle your fingers before he walked around the bed, hesitating again before the mattress sunk and he sat down next to you with his legs stretched out and back against the headboard.
He just hoped the darkness of your room was enough to hide how badly he was shaking right now.
You made a noise, a sleepy one as you shuffled onto your other side and rated your head over his thigh, letting unconsciousness begin to claim you once more, “Thank you…” The words were a whispered breath carried on the unshadowed truth of the nightime as you relaxed once more.
Hunter rested a hand on your shoulder, the other subconsciously carding through your hair as he marvelled at the feeling of it on his skin, “Anytime…”
And there he sat, unmoving, unwavering, watching over you and wondering where in the hell he would start to unravel everything in his mind when it came to the Batch’s Ghost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sun was shining brightly the next morning, the warmth feeling almost real as you wandered from your apartment toward the Batch’s usual haunt. You had a pretty good guess that they’d be at the shipyard, the clear day providing them with the chance to work on the Marauder.
With some careful words to the right people, you’d secured them a few days off under the claims of regrouping after their mission and saying you would work with them in training.
In reality, you’d asked Master Plo and he’d said yes straight away and said he’d sort everything out. Big softy.
You’d woken up from your sleep last night feeling… remarkably refreshed. There were no nightmares. No lingering effects of the stims that you used to run from the memories.
Sleep had surrounded you in its arms and allowed you to rest peacefully, no doubt thanks to the man who stayed by your side all night.
When you’d woken up, he was gone, which you’d expected.
At first you thought it had been a dream, asking him to stay. You’d never normally cross that line, but you’d been so tired, and the thought of being alone had crushed you.
Then you felt the lingering warmth of the bed beside you and caught the masculine scent of him still gently caressing the air and you realised he had stayed the whole time. Watched over you and your dreams, protecting you when you were at your most vulnerable.
He always protected you.
You were beginning to head down a path that you usually tried not to let yourself follow, lest it send you tumbling into a black hole of spiralling thoughts and realisations about your emotions, discoveries you weren’t sure you were ready to admit yet.
Luckily, your dissociation meant that the trip to the shipyard had gone quicker than expected, and there was the Marauder, sitting proudly and lovingly with her angled gleaming under the Coruscant sun.
As you got closer, your boots hit puddles of soapy water, the fresh scent of it hitting your nose as well as that particular scent of wet duracrete in the sun… It was a silly little thing that made you smile, a scent that just felt good and familiar as you approached the half wet, half dry ship.
Despite the puddles on the ground, you were still as silent as your namesake, hearing and feeling him, as well as Tech’s particular and unique force aura. You always imagined them as colours, Hunter a deep, rich red and Tech a glimmering gold.
When you were all together, and you tuned into the force around you, it was like a shimmering, shifting blanket of colour in your head. Each one mingling perfectly with the one around it, beautiful on their own but gorgeous all together. It helped to chase away the emptiness and filled you with light rather than darkness.
“... could add upgrades to make the ship faster, if I could get my hands on the parts.” Tech’s voice reached you when you finally paused in the shadow of the upbent wings, peering round the corner to observe your boys.
Hunter was… Stars above. He was the first thing your eyes landed on, in just his black flight suit, sleeves rolled up past his forearms to reveal the lines of his tattoo marking out his bones. The fabric was a little wet, clinging to him more than usual and cutting sharp lines across the broad expanse of his shoulders, not to mention the way it gave you an unaltered view of his waist.
Pull it together, Ghost!
You could practically hear Anakin laughing in the back of your head, doubled over with a hand on his chest and a teasing grin on his face as he watched his one of best friends turn into a drooling mess.
“Faster? Are you planning on getting us in trouble, Tech?” Hunter’s voice held a playful tone, eyes glittering as he passed a wet sponge over the ship above his head, arm straining and muscles rippling, “I didn’t have you pegged for such a speedster.”
Tech poked his head out of the ships inner workings, brows furrowed as he stared at his brother, “Hunter, you have known me for as long as we can both conceivably remember, and for as long as we have been in a unit, the ship’s piloting duties have always fallen to m-”
“I’m joking, brother.” Hunter cut off Tech’s word dump before he worked himself up, with a good natured roll of his eyes, “I’ll have a word with Rex and some of the others, maybe they can find what you need. Make a list.” He paused, water running down his knuckles and down his forearm, “You have a list already, don’t you?”
Head already back inside the ship, Tech’s voice came out somewhat muffled, “Of course. I had one compiled since the last mission when I noticed the upgrades would be beneficial to us.” He was sprawled out on the ground, one leg bent up with his foot planted on the ground, with a myriad of tools surrounding him.
Hunter chuckled softly, a rough noise that rumbled in his throat and chest as a smile tugged at the edges of his lips, “Of course you did.” He dunked the sponge back into the bucket of water by his feet, his head ducking down and thick strands of his umber hair falling forward, slipping over the bandana and into his eyes.
It made your fingers twitch, ache to brush it aside and follow the line of it down his jaw, to trace his tattoo again and watch his eyes flutter closed at the touch of affection all of you had been starved of.
Anakin really would be beaming at you now, that knowing look in his eyes as he nudged you with an elbow, “Daydreaming again, Sparks?”
“When I gave you your nickname, I didn’t think you’d use those skills on us, you know.” Hunter’s words, directed at you this time made you jump, heart leaping to your throat like you’d been caught because… Well. You had been caught. Caught oogling him?
You muttered a silent curse to yourself before moving around the ship and coming into view, feet splashing in the water now, “I only just got here, I think your Hunter-senses might be running thin.” Raising an eyebrow at him, you prayed that the sun could be to blame for any flush in your cheeks.
You were an ex-Jedi commander!!! You didn’t blush or get flustered!
Hunter raised a dark brow at you, those eyes of his twinkling in the golden light above, “You do realise those senses told me where you were the second you set foot in the shipyard, right?” He rose to his full height, water pooling from his hand onto the floor and he cocked his head at you, “You forget how intune we are to you, Ghost. Just like you are with us.” Had his voice gotten rougher? Deeper? Or did it just feel that way because he was looking at you with an expression you couldn’t name, one that set that fluttering feeling loose again.
You opened your mouth, then closed it again, lost for words for once and you instead focused on the pooling water by his feet, “That is.. Completely unfair.” You breathed the words, unable to stop the grin that shone on your own face, brightening your expression and revealing that same troublesome playfulness that bonded you and Anakin so closely.
Hunter stepped closer to you, the scent of him washing over your senses just as a breeze swept over the shipyard, “Unfair, huh?” He tipped his head back, gazing down his nose at you, still smiling, “That why your cheeks are flushed? Are you feeling a little warm, Ghost?” His eyes darted past you toward Tech, an almost imperceptible nod there.
Wicked, wicked man.
Damn.
You cleared your throat, refusing to miss a beat and you tipped your own head back, “In case you hadn’t noticed under all that hair, it’s rather warm and sunny today. It’s just the heat of the day, that’s all.” You resisted the urge to cross your arms, leaving them loose at your sides, even as you toyed with the edge of your saber.
“Actually, according to my data,” Tech’s voice suddenly came from a couple feet behind you, and you jumped, actually startled, “Your body temperature isn’t high enough to cause a flush from the sun. You do, however, have an elevated heart rate and your breaths per minute have increased above your usual level.”
You spun round to face him, watching as he pushed his goggles up with the hand not holding his datapad, expression neutral but you swore you could see a smile playing about his eyes and feel it in the shimmery golden aura that surrounded him, “Tech!! You’re reading my vitals?!” Even you could hear the way your voice flickered an octave higher than usual, completely destroying your mock indignation, “You two are ganging up on me!!”
Hunter chuckled softly, sharing a look with Tech as he moved to stand shoulder to shoulder with his brother, “Ganging up on you? But if we’re wrong, surely there’s nothing for us to team up against?” His head tilted again, his expression so clear and bright, even it was full of teasing aimed at you.
Damn these stupidly attractive, smart brothers. They knew you too well. The only people in the galaxy who could reduce you to a damn blushing, wordless mess. Stars above, you needed to reign yourself in and have a word.
Tech peered down at his data pad, “Interesting. Your heart rate has increased by thirteen beats in just a few moments.” He looked back up, honey eyes imploring, “Perhaps you need to sit down, Ghost. A sudden increase in heart rate can cause a rush of blood to the head.” There. Now the smile twitched his lips, making his eyes as liquid gold as Hunter’s, matching expressions as they both stood there filling your vision.
Even you could feel the blush now, sucking in a breath and then you laughed, shaking your head and running a hand across your hair, “Damn you both.” You rolled your eyes, planting your hands on your hips, “I bet you were sitting there planning that, weren’t you? From the second you knew I was here.” You turned your attention to Hunter, raising your eyebrows at him, smile turning into a full grin now.
He opened his mouth to speak, but Tech took a step forward, leaning into it and holding up a hand, “Actually,” He cut a glance to Hunter, but carried on, “I noticed Hunter had the same reaction as you upon your entrance to the shipyard. His heart rate-”
“Right.” Hunter suddenly moved forward, shouldering past his brother - gently - and he pushed the wet cloth in your hands, “Since you’re here bright and early, you can help with the ship.” He cleared his throat, “C’mon, it won’t clean itself.” He spun round and moved back to the Marauder, picking up the dry cloth he’d been using to polish the surface after it air dried.
What was that all about?
Tech avoided your curious gaze, turning to move back to the engine but not before you caught that certain look in his eyes, the one he wore when he might have started to discover something no one else had and he needed to know the answer.
With a puff of your cheeks and another soft laugh, you joined the boys at the ship, dunking the cloth in the bucket and falling into an easy routine with them beneath the Coruscant sun.
Now
You had never been this cold before.
Not even on the missions to Hoth, or when you used to visit Kamino with the boys.
This cold… it wasn’t just temperature. It was agony. It was the type of cold that seeps into your bones, your soul, chasing away every warm feeling, every phantom touch that lingered from memory.
They were trying to break you, trying to crack that shield wrapped around your heart and mind that kept you whole, safe.
You had survived so much, so so much.
You just had to survive a little longer.
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