#TELL ME IM NOT THE ONLY ONE THINKING ABIUT IT

[kumatototoro]

Kinger and Queenie as treehouse (from Alex G), but instead of "treehouse", it's "fortress"

[haroldthehuckleberry]

Pregnant boy-toy 3/3

CW- mpreg, birth denial, punishment, degrading

it is now months ago since i came to tell him about the pregnancy, i still hadnt given birth… daddy didnt let me. i am unbelievably massive all i do is lie legs and arms spread on my bed my planet of a stomach weighing me down, my daddy comes in whenever he pleases uses my cunt and cock to keep me dick-drunk and it works, i dont think about my ever-stretching skin on my belly, i dont think about the milk leaking out my massive pecs all i think abiut is when i can next please my daddy

he brought another slut home today. hes being punished, hes not as obedient as me hes in another room begging to be let out until our daddy stuffs him with his super-cum i can only imagine how long hell be here, my daddy promises ill be here for ever, he says it threateningly but every-time he does say it my cunt throbs and cock twitches, anything he says gets me hot and bothered, he sees this and uses it to his advantage teasing me whenever he wants knowing i wont cum until he makes me knowing i wont cum until hes cum in me as much as he wants, and to think only months ago this idea freaked me out all i want know is to be used as his slut all i want now is his approval all i want know is his spawn filling me.

i rub my tight tummy as his spawn moves around while i day dream about daddy coming into my room after punishing the other slut loudly and fucking my boy-cunt deeply and aggressively its all i can think about then suddenly i get a deep contraction i let out a short scream before cutting myself off because i know daddy hates it when i make too much noise, on queue he storms in angrily.

“s-s-sorry d-daddy but i think i-its time” i stammer pathetically at him, he walks over in the nude allowing his perfect body to breathe he looks at my cunt and says “its definitely crowning” before placing his massive hand on the head and sliding it into my as my belly expands a bit more and my cock twitches and my nipples leak milk i let out a shallow moan “only when i say will you let my spawn out, understood slut?” i nod in agreement waiting for him to fuck me but he doesnt he just keeps making sure his baby doesn’t come out as i try my hardest to defy biology for him i clench my cunt tightly and hold the bottom of my belly (as bottom as i can reach which isnt very close) trying anything i can to not allow his spawn to leave my womb, after what was possibly hours he leaves me trusting me to not let his spawn out.

and i dont. ive been here for god knows how long and never given birth im so pregnant my skin is all but see through my pecs are breasts at this point and… i love it. i live to serve my daddy when he pleases ill allow his children out, by this point the other sluts hes brought back all behave too there is no more begging for freedom or birth we all live to be his breathing cum-buckets, theres about 7 of us and at various stages of pregnancies i can assume ive only seen one when daddy first brought him in and forgot to close my door he looked already about 7 months along so i can only dream of his size now.

truth is i didnt want to be pregnant but now its all i love for, if daddy let me birth then released me the first thing id do is get knocked up again, its the most amazing thing to have happened to me that fait-full night.

[stardust-sunset]

sometimes i wish my brother and i got along better.

we were pitted against each other a lot as kids. it was always ‘your brother does this so why don’t you’. he was always smarter. braver. better. and it made me resent him.

i guess it’s my own fault. i’m the one who hated him. i’m the one who pushed myself to be better. i’m the one who made sure my schedule was packed full of classes t that even he couldn’t bear and all in the case that i wanted to be better. that’s all i wanted. i was selfish. i was arrogant and i saw our relationship as a competition and the only thing that came of it was that i resented him. i resented him for going to a prestigious school. i resented him for being better. and i’m the one who tore our relationship.

maybe i am just worthless. sometimes i wonder if my brother really is more important than me. he probably is. he’ll be something. i won’t. all my teachers told me he was gonna be president and what was i going to be?

i lied to everyone. i lied to my therapist and told the, that me and my brother were inseparable because that was what i wanted. i wanted a relationship that was unbreakable while the only one who was breaking it was me and my resentment.

i think he’d be better without me. maybe he’s glad he’s going to college because he can get away from me. i want to get away from me.

i’ve been told all my life that he’s smarter than me. hell, my own mom told me this morning that my brother is more approachable than me because ‘he would make friends no matter what room he went into. you’d hide in a corner away from everyone’. and i’d be damn pressed to say that didn’t hurt like hell. maybe i’m being sensitive.

i want to hurt. i keep thinking about relapsing or trying to restrict eating since it’s the only way i feel secure and like im in control.

i know no one would miss me. i’m useless. i’m worthless. maybe my dad would miss me but that’s it. sometimes he’s the only one i stay alive for. but im too much of a coward to do anything. i’m too much of a coward.

this is all my fault. i hate myself. i can’t do anything right and i wish that i could jist end it all because i don’t want to be here anymore. and i know my parents aren’t gonna be as sad when i leave. they’ve sung my brothers praises all summer-he’ll, they had a fucking wall dedicated to him and they kept telling me that this year wasn’t gonna be abiut me which i get cause he’s going away, but i know when i go away it’s not gonna be anywhere near the same. because im not smart or good enough. im just a coward who can’t even carry through her even more cowardly ideations. and that’s all ill ever be.

please don’t worry too much. i’m not going to do anything. i’m just going through a lot of mental hell. i don’t want to keep venting because i feel bad so please ignore this. i just needed to write it down.

[loopholes-and-wishes]

guhhhhhhh whatever. apparently im just commited to humiliating myself now........ i i i like the the forced kindness thing i i i think somethinglike that would honestly be good for me.... im bad with... touch.... and... accepting that people care.... atm (as in right at this moment) i feel like a big stupid almost grown cat that needs to just be grabbed and held everyday so that it can be okay with touch....... just.... talk things through beforehand and then just.... acceptingneverythingthat comes with beingthere..... getting too tense and having gentle traces along my spine to getme just worked up enough to get my discomfort out of the way..... relling them i want to pull away and get pulled back in for the nextwhile..... fighting back and forth over me being there trying to get away and being held in place so i cangetitthrough to myself that noteveryone is goingtoleave and thatthereare people willing tostay with me where i am..... beingable tojust... express what imused to from people.. everyone leaving.... idk.... itslike a lot of stuff i enjoy also does seem kind of sexual from outside id say.... like... ... the... tracinga fingerup or down thespine.... like its not inherently that... ijustwanna be close and not allowed to go and be allowed to enjoy everything without having to worry about trying to seem like i enjoy everything in the normal way its not my fault my reactions to some stuff "seem sexual" or whatever... when its not.... blehhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry abiut.... whatvee.... just idkm...... we both blow up now okay? :) ummm idk... sorry? about all this.... can nevertell what is and isnt acceptable..... i try....

Well Sweetheart, I’m happy you like the forced kindness approach. It’s personally my favourite way to interact with people in a BDSM setting, platonically or sexually. So I get what you mean. The main reason is that a lot of people say they want people to hurt them but they actually only do so because it's something they’re used to and they want something they know rather than something they don't. It’s almost even more hurtful to be kind than it is to be mean to these individuals because, as you said, it's kind of like a stray cat flinching from contact even though it doesn't hurt. 

So I don’t find it strange that you want it or that you want to be touched in a non sexual way. Being touched on your back and going back and forth like that, and reacting in a way that people would attribute to a sexual response, well that's on them if they think it's weird. It’s normal to react when you're not used to it, and it's perfectly valid to do so in any way you do. Personally, I always want to hold people as close as possible and never let go which includes me pressing the front of my body down in a way that makes people think I'm trying to be, uh, “sexy” as it were, so I understand where you're coming from in the discomfort of people making assumptions about your reaction to things. 

Also, I'm perfectly comfortable answering whatever. I have very specific things I’m not comfortable with and if someone tries to initiate something like that I'm okay with telling them no (I hate the idea of kissing someone on the mouth, bleh >~<), so dw about it too hard. I’m just worried about my responses because I think I can take it too far sometimes so I keep a close eye on how everyone reacts to things before I respond, it’s one of the reasons I was okay with going as hard as I did with Loopy because I know what she likes. I just have to be careful when I add in some new things sometimes, yaknow? (One of the issues of being completely online through blogs is that it’s hard to set boundaries for the people asking rather than the one who runs the blog, which is a bit hard when the one running the blog is the one domming ;;;;)

[unicornsaures]

urrrhhhhhvggggg i try not to make vent posts a whole ton but alas, ya girl is not doing so hot

tw// sh😁

guys do not do what i did and like. purposely trigger yourself with your own sh from a year ago because oh my god in. its. i feel so absolutely fake my scars were so much worse last year and now theyre just gone and i thought i was fully recovered its bren a year and. and im still crying over it and i thought i was done crying over it. I thought i was done crying over literal scars and i was. i mean i thought i was exaggerating when i said the closrr i get to the date ill br one year clean its getting worse and. nope! no, no that checks out!!

Its all my fault i got triggered in the first placr too. I knew what i had in my eyes only wnd i knew that checking it would only make me spiral and here i am just. crying over it. its sending me back to last year where its i just its only oj my hod i csnt be doing this again i really csnt be doingthis again ive bren doing so well and then. and i dont want to i really dont but im still tjinking about it and im still telling myself i want to but i dont i never did i always wanted to say ive been 1 year clean but i dont think ill rver even be able to make it to that point if i keeo self sabotaging like this. i mean t barely even counts ive basically just replaced cvtting with eevry other unhealthy coping mechanism under the sun but i should be better than this i shouldnt rven be thinking sbout it i shouldnt even be thinking that i can go back i shoulfny be in this situation at all and if it werent for me i wouldnt even be in this situation in the first placr ebcause i dont know how to keep myself away from tjings that i really need to stay away from

i really shouldnt be caught ip on this but its. i was. i was thinking aboht whag would happen if i would look back on photots earlier and and i knew i wouldnt be okay with it i knew i would snap the moment i did and wow its almost like forced recov only made me feel guilty for it and ohmygod kill me now i should be better than this i should be better than thjs ive had crisis called so many times ive been threatened by my parents for this so many times im worrying eveyrone around me and im only getting worse and everyone has to wastch me spiral but they cant do anything because im jsut too fucking oblivious to my own issues but im just too scared to readh out to anyone because how am i gonna say that i triggered myself without sounding like i planend this i didnt i swear i didnt plan to break down over this i promise i didnt mean for it i didnt want to cry over it i dont want to think abiut it anf i dont want to go back ive been doing sowell i swear im just worrying rveryone i dont want everyone to start checking in on mr in the morning just to make sure im still alive i font want people to messagr me in the middle of the night to make sure im not dead im so sorry ik so sorry

im just as tired as i was last year the only difference is thst im not actively trying to kill myself over it even if i really. wiuld like to thats besides the point the point is im just as weak of a girl as i was last year but last year i could at least hanfle pain now i just fucking snap whenever someone raises their voice or whenever i get. acut i break down and whenever i get hurt it only reminds me of the past 4 years that ive spent doing nothing but putting myself through mental hell and im realizing tbat ill never get begger i cant get better ive bren trying and i just csnt

i cant do it ive tried ive been trying why am i not getting anywhere why am i still stuck on the thought of sh i shouldnt be thinking about it i shouldnt miss it i shouldnt be upset that my scars are faded i shouldnt still have the ideas and images swirling aorund in my head because theyre always there and ill always have these scars and ill always br fucked ip and i wont ever be able to fix it ive had so many people worry and theyre worrying and worrying and i just dont care im such a horrible person i

i shiuldvr stopped for my parents they had to skin check me dsily for almodt a year straight and here i am just fucking itching to go grab something, literally anything just to go back and in so stupid im so stupid i did this to myself and im still being a pussy about it i shouldnt be thinming abiut it i shouldnt be crying over it whats wrong withme

[waypens]

ive given up all sense of humanity ive gone full animal. ...ive been brought to bmy breaking point. no longer shall i be a servent to the humans.. AWWWWOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU... heh. im on a mystical mission. i go to the forest at midnight for a snack. a midnight snack, really. heh. i hunt for things of fish and the like i eat meat. call that carnivorus in the ""science"" world. load 'a BULL to me, if you ask me, really. but you know...? i sometimes like it. the information'o'plenty. maybe its human nature but heh... im no human. the moon is out baby and im and animal. I digress, something in the way someone from such a faction talks to one (suxh as myself) isnt really acceptable these days. heh. you know,. i just think things get a little out of hand... its one thing to the next... and then the next again. i guess you could say its all gounf according to the big plan... something like that. anyway. twilight sparkle is a big inspiration for me theres just some thinf abiut her... shes just, like, so strong. do you hear that? exactly. if it werent for her, all of aquestria would be in ruin! oh- ah sorry,,, roleplaying habbits. i get into character y'know? heh. anyway. thats about alll im up to trese days. that and grinding. what?! NO!!! get your mind out of the gutter- not *thats* kind of grinding! hah. i mean working really hard, y'know. lisyen i know its, well its a little lame sounding but i have this big micecfract world and its really... ah.. youthing its stuoid, right? well, heh, i made a world when i was fidteen and now im older. and it means a lot me me. ive made a huge world and city and... well, yiu get the picture. are you hungry? i have some ramen in the cabinet... sorry... hm? oh yeah i guess i do have a habit of apologizing... I-I'd apologize but, well, heh... i realy like that kind of music. its full of... enerygy. i dont really listen to msuco as such, but id like to. i think the voice actor for gollum shouldnt have been... well *him*. not only because of his pasr but well, theres just something off, isn't there? ever since he was young. i could always tell. couldnt you? ~grrrOWWWLL!!~ ah! my tummy is rumblinf! i must be hungry... you should uh, go. no, please, i cant explain i jusy need yiu to- TO...! AAAGHH!!!!!!!!! ITS HAPPENING!! YOU MUST LEAVE ME BE!!!! PLEASE...! please....grrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHWWUUUUAUAAAUAUUAAAAGAGHAIAOAOAIAIAAHSHSHODIUUUUUUUOUU OUUUUOUUU OUUU OUUU OUUUIUAUAAUAAAAAAA AAWWWWOOWOWW AWWWUUOOAOAAAAAUAIAOAOAIUA AAA A AWWUIOIIOOIUHUUUUUUUUAAHAAUUWUWODOFOD AAWAUHGHHYAAAAAAHHHHHGGG ABAHAHA LLLGLPVOOVLVKEJNFWKD AAAAGRRRUUUUIOOOWWUIUUUYYUUPEPEEEEEEIUUUUUUSMmmKOIUUUUUUUUUU ALLAAAAHGGLLLLLLLLLLLYANNNJUUUULLAURURHJFJFNFNFNNLLLE LE eLUHH jUHSHENANANANMSKSJSJSNSI 4 JHEBWJEKKAAUAUWUAUAOAOAOISJFHBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR promise JARRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR scared by bhh H IYYTTYYTTYYUIAHGRGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR fucking p a schewpid colah ahahh ah ah ah!!!!... heh IAUAUUUU njlk UUAUAUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaAAAAU.aAAUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAWWWUIOOWIWUWUPPPPPPPPTHRBREHHEHDJFJJDJDJDJFHSBEKFPVONWNADLCPOGURHRBWNWLDPDBOREDUKMNDBFJRNEUFHEJDNIMSOBOREDNSBFJEJFBNDDJJFJFIDONTLIKETHISNAYMOREJSBFBFNGJBKGKEJFBNRNRDOYIUHATEMEBFJENFNDJFKGKLVLGKRKGOOPPHPPHPUOOUPIPIPOPIPUPPUPUPPUPUPOUPPUOUPIEHGSFFFXXCCXVXVCXCXCXCXCXVXVXCCXCACSCSCSCAFTACATACAGDHFJKVKDJFJJGJFJFJDJKFIFOGOOGPOHOBJNFNNDUEEUHWHDHHVIVFKDDKNSHJDJDJSNABSVCECERBFJFJICIJFJDBSVVWGWYDUCIVOOVGPGPORJEJWBWBB hi IFJEJNFBFJKFGLVOOBGOOROEJBWUWHFHB ID GO L DW W BO CJJ OK E NO CJ S OH G SEE JEBSJHDJDJDJMJDBDGEJISOWOSOKSJDJFBBCBCBCB HDBDJCJDJDHBDIEIWOSOODUFHDHBFNFNKRKDKSIJSHSBXJCJIFJFHFHDHFHFHHHHHFHHFFFHHFFHBBFFBFBF hit the groundHFBSJJDJFJFJDJIIFIDIDIDIFUFJRIEOOWODKKXJDDNNNDJDJJJDJJJJDJJJJJJDJDJSKSSKKSKSKSOSOKSKSOWOOIDICJJFNDN Knokay

[tamarieatsbatteries175]

ok I'm gonna rant about hcs first and then my silly swap au

-penny and Kieran qpr is canon to me. I've watched a playthrough of indigo disc and i think penny and kieran shouldve interacted more.. the besties ever

-arven is farsighted and I think itd also be really funny if he was shit eith technology. He'd text with voice to text but he'd never correct any mistakes and just send fucked up texts to the rest oof the crater crew

-Nemona cant cook for shit but I feel like evryone thinis that. Also permanently in caps lock while texting becaude i think its silly

-penny definitely played Roblox religiously as a kid. She still plays every now and thrn but only for like one specific game

-Arven was the Minecraft kid probably

-juliana makes the mody rancid sandwiches known to man and then eats them and actually enjoys it (she does it soley to piss off arven)

-penny has been on top of the school before and brags about it often but refuses to tell anyone how she did it

Okay I'm not gonna talk about my swap au I lied. Im kinda eepy and abiut to blow up but. It was basicalky kieran and csrmine go to Paldea and they go and capture wo-chien without telling penny and yeagh.

ALL OF THESE ARE SO CORRECT

[rookmeo]

hello rook! i need some advice from someone who uses neopronouns and hope to know your opinion

i have a moot who only understands very basic english and never communicates with the english side of any fandoms or in general, just their native language. recently, she's getting bombarded and targeted by someone (we dk if it's one person or a group of them) who keeps pestering her about neopronouns because my friend once posted about being extremely confused when she stumbled upon someone who uses kitty/kittyself especially when the translation to her native doesn't makes sense at all

im the only english speaking moot of hers but im not knowledgeable about neopronouns so she decided to make some research about it. an hour later, she told me that it's the most confusing thing she's ever heard, even worse than trans and intersex

in her native, there's only one pronoun used for everyone and its spelt and pronounced the same. she does know that there's she/her, he/him, they/them, and it in english, but she doesn't understand why someone would want to custom make their own pronouns when they could've just use they/them. she couldn't imagine using those irl

as mentioned before, idk anything about neopronouns, so idk what advice to give her

i don't think she's trying to be mean or anything, she's just genuinely confused on what is this new stuff she accidentally stumbled upon, but i don't think this justifies that person/group to target her for not understanding english and what's going on in a specific group of the lgbt community

as someone who uses neopronouns, what would u tell her? what are your thoughts on people who couldn't understand neopronouns, would u force them to use it regardless or break your friendship?

Haha sorry this took a while to answer anon! I got busy and stuff but ill try to answer this as best as i can 👍

To me when it comes to using neoponouns, a part of it is me seeing pronouns in general as a part of my gender presentation. I see myself as a girl and a boy at the same time yet use he/him or prefer to be referred to with masculine terms because its more comfortable to me. Its how i present my own gender.

This applies to my neopronouns as well. Gender itself is a performance to me which is why i use neopronouns along side with he/him. It's like a stage persona i guess? Not all people who use neos are the same of course.

I could see where your friend is coming from though, my native language, filipino, also has like a general pronoun to refer to others (siya) which is gender neutral.

I honestly don't mind if people don't use my neos on me if they find it difficult but if they don't use it simply because they find it ridiculous or weird then maybe i would be a little hurt. It's all about intent really. However if i would exclusivrly use neos then I'd honestly be a little miffed. I'd like for people to play along with my presentation and all. Sorry if this didnt make sense 😭 i just started rambling because guess what i just like talking abiut myself lol

[im-only-joking]

Maybe a piece where you are visiting brocks fam with him and y’all get into a little bit of an argument before bed and the next morning you try to prentend like nothing is going on between you two so his fam doesn’t get involved but as the day goes on he is being a little cold to you and at some point you are in the kitchen hanging with his mom and she explains that she noticed how you guys are being and she tells you that he is just stubborn and he love you and wants to marry you someday and she is happy you are part of the fam...... maybe Brock kinda over hears it and later that night before bed he apologizes and tells you everything his mom said is true

I love me some angst but imma do it with duke telling you brock loves you because.... I love duke boeser 👉👈. Lol

Visiting Brock's family was amazing. Minnesota was really lovely, if colder than you expected, and Brock's parents were lovely. There was just one problem.

Brock was being a total ass.

It was probably just being with his parents that made him a little on edge, but you had no idea why he was being so cold to you since you'd gotten there.

Duke and Laurie were being angels, absolutely wonderful hosts and set you both up in Brock's old room which had been redecorated a bit but still kept old memorabilia. Laurie had been cooking fabulous dinners and Duke had been telling hilarious stories about Brock's childhood, you didnt understand why Brock was being so... Mean.

Paul, Brock's older brother, had visited for a few days and had clearly noticed his energy and had said, "Hoyl shit dude, forget about it" to him as he left, to which you were confused.

All in all confused was the perfect word to describe how you were feeling abiut Brock's behavior.

So. You did as you normally would do, and confronted him, never the shy, passive person.

"Ok, what's up with you?" You asked quietly in Brock's room one day while Brock's parents were out grabbing groceries and you and Brock had planned on a nap.

"Nothing, just tired." Was his response. The same response that you'd recieved every time you'd tried to talk to him.

"Bullshit, B. You've been acting like I don't exist or like I'm nothing to you this entire trip and I'm frustrated because normally you don't treat me like this."

"Im not treating you like nothing, c'mon," Brock huffed.

"Yes you are! You've barely spoken a word to me. Your brother noticed, your parents have noticed, and its gotten weird. I dunno what to say to them. 'Sorry your son's acting like he doesn't even like me, I promise he normally does'?"

Brock rolled his eyes. "You're being ridiculous. Take a nap."

You bit your tongue to keep from screaming. "Fine. I will. On the couch downstairs. Have a good nap Brock."

You stormed out of the room and curled up on the living room couch, uncaring that you'd likely be woken up by Mr. And Mrs. Boeser later when they got back.

You heard their voices when you woke up, hushed from the kitchen.

"I dunno what's going on with him but he needs some sense knocked into him," Duke was saying.

"I agree," Laurie replied quietly. "I'm gonna grab the rest of the groceries. You talk to her when she wakes up."

You shuffled to the kitchen when you heard the garage door open and close signalling her departure.

"Hey kiddo," Duke smiled at you as he put away vegetables. "I guess you heard us, huh?"

"A little. If it helps, I'm not sure why he's acting this way at all either."

Duke chuckled. "Well lemme tell you this: he really loves you. There's no doubt about that. Every time he talks about you he just lights up like a Christmas tree. I've never seen him like this before. You truly are something special to put that kind of a smile on his face, and if he is treating you like this right now, it's only because he thinks he doesn't deserve you."

You frowned. "Why do you think he'd think that?"

"He doesn't know that he deserves the world, and you, kiddo, are his world. You mean everything to him. He talked to me about marrying you, ya know. Says he wants to get you a ring, but he thinks it's too soon," Duke laughed.

Your throat was tight with emotion and your eyes threaten to spill tears.

"Don't let him being dumb right now make you forget that he loves you," Duke stated.

"He's never told me before," you said quietly. "I mean, he's never said it out loud."

"I do."

You whipped around to the sound of Brock's voice from the staircase.

"I really, really love you," Brock mumbled, eyes watery as he took your hands in his.

Duke quietly left the kitchen to help in the garage and leave you two to it.

"I'm sorry I've never said it before, I should've said it a hundred times by now, because I would've meant it every time."

"I love you, too,"you replied, pressing your forehead against his. "I'm sorry we fought."

"It's my fault, I was just worried. Worried that i wasn't good enough. Dad was right ya know. Always is. He always knows how I'm feeling, and it's true. I feel like I don't deserve you." Brock pulled back to kiss you gently. "But I'll try to be better about expressing how I feel instead of bottling it up."

"Please. Don't shut me out again. I hated feeling like that,"you sighed, curling your hands into Brock's t-shirt. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

[infamous-band-imagines]

For the Vinny Mauro fluff can it be that him and the reader are having a lazy day watching movies, playing video games (five nights at freddy's, outlast, etc) and cuddling and just being really cute

Omg okay, so I know ive been hella inactive for the past few years, but im gonna try and post every so often. I really really hope you like this🥺🖤

Y/F/D= your favorite drink

Y/F/R= your favorite restaurant

y/n pov:

As I woke up, I held my hand out and felt my boyfriend Vinny still laying next to me, sleeping peacefully. I smiled wide and scooted closer to him. Giving him soft kisses on his back, and his neck to wake him up. He groans groggily and turns over, As I rubbed his side he slowly opens his eyes, peaking at me and smiling. "Good morning princess" he says reaching his hand out to grab onto my side pulling me even closer to him, I laugh softly while saying "good morning my love, how'd you sleep?" He groans again, opening his eyes wider to look at me "I slept okay, still a little tired though" he pauses for a minute "which is why I wanted to know if yiu wanted to have a lazy day? We can order some take out, maybe watch some of our favorite novies, maybe play some games?" I perk up and smile widely, moving quickly to slide onto his lap and give him a kiss, which he reciprocates as he laughs. He grabs ahold of my waist as he jumps at of our bed, he speed walks out of the room as im screaming and laughing loudly, he plops me down on our coach and tells me to wait there, he jokingly skips into the kitchen, grabbing the essential items, I turn and see him holding handfuls of snacks and some Y/F/D'S and of course some of our favorite food places menus, he sits down putting it all on our coffee table, smiling widely, I look up at him and give him multiple kisses on his face as he grabs me and holds me to his body, I twist around and grab some menus, looking over them. I excitedly choose Y/F/R. Opening the menu and wrapping my arms around his neck, playing with his long hair. We talk it over for awhile and finally call in a delivery order for what we wanted. He looks over at me and excitedly turns on our TV, pulling up Netflix, and pulling up the movie "The autopsy of jane doe" we cuddle up under a blanket , my head resting softly on his shoulder as he rubs up and down my arm, giving soft pecks to the top of my head, I smile softly, thinking abiut how in live I am with him

Vinnys pov:

I peer down at Y/N smiling softly as my heart swells at her. I get interrupted by our door bell ringing, i watch as she perks up and runs to grab our food excitedly, I laugh to myself, thinking its cute how happy she gets over things like that. She thanks the man and rushes back to her spot, pulling our food out and handing my order to me, we eat in a comfortable silence, only speakimg occasionally. Soon the credits roll on the movie and our meals are finished, I look at her and kiss her softly , rubbing my hands on her cheeks. She looks up at me and smiles, she softly says "i love you so so much, I'm so grateful to have you with me" I smile at her, kissing her again, this time filled with love "I love you so so much more baby, I can't believe i get to be with someone like you" she blushes and looks down, grabbing a game controller and handing it to me "can we play mario kart?" (Its lowkey my fav game don't judge me) I laugh loudly, looking down at her "of course honey, don't get mad when i beat you though" Y/N gasps loudly, smacking my chest playfully " oh you're so on!!" She laughs, jumping up and placing her legs over mine,and starting up the game. I rub her leg, and look at her one last time before starting to play.

fin.

Honestly I'm kinda rusty with writing so I'm sure this is super bad, but i really hope you guys enjoyed a semi fluff imagine, im sorry if there's any typos since im doing this on a phone

[compromisedlezlove]

I keep seeing that blocked number pop up on your phone logs. I dont wanna be crazy but you only had 3 numbers blocked, so its gotta be her calling you..i cant stop worrying or wondering if you still talk to her when im not around. Whats stopping yoi from downloading a text app? Or when she calls you can see, then you call her back on an app. Call my fuckin crazy idc. I even asked you about your tablet and you still never brought it inside but allowed me to break your phone yesterday... "Oh i didnt think abiut it" or "i forgot" NONSENSE!! YOU KNOW HOW BADLY IT HAS BEEN BUGGING ME YOU HAVE YOUR TABLET WITH YOU. Yet you STILL keep it in your van. idk none of this makes sense to me... I seen her number pop up when she called last time and it was blocked, i have this stupid feeling you're going in and deleting them when I ask about it so i dont get pissed....but shouldnt you WANT to tell me if someone who puts our relationship in danger contacts you??? Im so confused. I STILL tell you who im texting no matter what, and im not the one who cheated.. I mean shit you READ OVER MY SHOULDER, like I got shit to hide..excuse me???

The sex is nice. Im really loving it, but its not fixing what I was hoping it would...my broken fuckin heart..

I wish none of this had happened. Im soo fucked up in the head..

[atilla-da-honey]

Dragon age fans!

Tell me your unique/wierdo Dragon Age head canons! Gush about your Warden's/Hakwe's/Inquisitors! If you want, tell me a little story/ficlet about your characters or OTP's!

I just want that jucy DA content. I don't care if its off the rails bullshit crazy, completely and utterly mundane or tropey and cliche, if its Dragon Age and you wanna talk about it I WANNA LISTEN. Can be your canon's or just an idea you like!

Feel free to tag people!

I'll go first! (This turned out longer than I meant, you can legit just write a short sentence summary i don't care)

"Treya Lavellan was First to her clan as a child. It was super stressful for her because she wasn't magically powerful enough to keep up with the needs of the Clan but at the time she was the only option so it was her duty. She felt extremely insecure and embarassed about her lack of talent and was frequently tired and iratable as she constantly pushed herself to the point of exhaustion.

When Treya was 17, the Clan was approached by a city born elf woman and her son. The son was a mage and the mother said that Templars had been known to kill mages from Alienages rather than go to the trouble of taking them all the way to the circle. She had hidden him for years but her husband discovered the magic recently and wanted the boy out. They had several other children and she couldn't leave them, but she had heard that the Dalish do not fear magic and she begged Deshanna to take on her son Maharial. He was only 15 and had a lot of magical potential, and Dashanna considered it to be a great blessing.

Treya was...conflicted.

It was soon apparant that this flat eared child was going to end up replacing her. After years of training, of struggeling to pick up even the basics, he came in like an eager little whirlwind and blew everybody away with how quick and capeable he was. Magic was so easy for him, but more than that he was charming, soft spoken and polite where Treya was thought to be something of a no-nonsense hardass, something her near constant exhaustion didn't help.

He dedicated himself to The creators, he ate up her Pape's stories abiut the glory of Elvhenan and The Dales, he deffered to the wisdom and advice of the Haren with dignity and grace.

And Treya HATED him for it.

She didn't want to. She knew she was being jelous and unfair and that he was an elf and had every right to claim his place amoung the people. She even knew that he was far, far better suited to the role of first than she would ever be.

But she still hated him for it.

One day she lost her patience. She, Deshana and Maharial were seeding the grounds with their magic to clear the hidden paths so the Aravels could move. It was a task she had been performing since her magic manifested at 6, and it was a long, sustained spell that they would have to hold for hours at a time.

Maharial noticed her flagging and innocently started giving suggestions on how to better apply the spell in order to better concerve her mana and she lost it.

"I don't need your fucking input you pushy, obnoxious flat ear! I have been first of this clan since before you even knew it was possible for an elf to have dignity!"

Everybody froze.

Treya knew she'd fucked up. She knew it. But she was proud and insecure and stupid and so she doubled down.

"What? I'm not going to sit here and hear advice falling from a mouth that has probably spent more time sucking human dick than -"

*SLAP*

It wasn't Mahanon. Or Deshanna.

It was her Pape.

Her soft, gentle Pape, who kept the hearth and sung their history to the Clan. He had never once raised his voice at her, and he did not do so now.

"Treya, First of Lavellan, Daughter of mine and apprentice to our Keeper, you will apologise to this boy this instant."

Treya was numb.

Her eyes filled with tears.

She fled.

In the end, it was Mahanon who found her. Her father had advised to give her some time and reassured him that he was one of them and that she was out of line. It was kind.

He knew The First didn't like him but she usually just kept it to a frosty silence.

He found her crying, her staff cast aside and her head hidden in her hands. She wouldnt meet his eyes.

"I don't know why I said that." She whispered softly.

"You hate me." He said with a shrug.

"I dont mean to. I dont even want to. You just....showed up one day, and you are better at things I've been trying to master my whole life. The clan loves you effortlessly."

"So you're what...jelous? Of me? Thats... ridiculous. Its not effortless." He sat down next to her. For once he looked as exhausted as she did. "You realise you're not the only one who hates me because I'm from a city right? Not three nights ago I heard Haren Loril trying to talk Deshanna into giving me the boot. Says my lineage is in question, whatever that means.... Mother told me to do everything in my power to be accepted. To be exactly as they want me to be. But im not like you. Im not serious and sensible, I don't know how anything here is susposed to work and you are unlike any elves I have ever known. I don't know how to belong here. So I say what I think they want to hear. That I love living here, that I don't miss the alienage...that I never believed in the Maker anyway and all your elven Gods give me courage and hope.

But its not true. I'm tired Treya. I miss my family and I want to go home. Void, I'd happily suck a human cock if I could just go home. But I can't.

You idiots already taught me to value freedom above all else. I'm not going to let some templar kill me or drag me to a circle just because I couldn't get you lot to like me."

She felt even more shame. It was easy for her to forget that he didnt materialize out of thin air with the express desire to ruin her day, that he'd come to the clan seeking their protection.

She was a poor First.

"I don't want you to die or to go to a circle." She said, tentatively.

"Thats an incredibly low bar, but I'll take it." He returned with a tired smile.

"I'm....sorry. About what I said. About what a shit I've been. It must have been difficult to leave your family and I certianly didn't make you feel welcome."

"Yeah you've been a bit of a total bitch." He said with a wide grin. "But you know, winning over the clans terrorfing First who hates me would make a great impression on the others. What do you say, do over?" He reached a hand towards her, his eyes met hers with a lot more uncertainty than she would have expected.

"Yeah. Ok. Do over."

Eventually, Mahanon did take Treya's place as First. By the time it happened she could admit that it was a relief. She made a far better apprentice to the War Leader anyway."

[teddy-feathers]

look my problem with the au megamind where Roxanne is the alien and megamind is the reporter is i cant stop thinking about what i want out of that and how its probably not what other people want out of that which should mean 'oh shit i gotta write it' but really means 'in the next couple of months im going to rewatch megamind and be extremely frustrated because idk how to write these people as is let alone in an au'

but here are some thoughts

Itd have to take place on megaminds home world so like. have to develop that culture and frame it as the usual and other things as oddities

metroman still shows up at the same time the baby human does

roxan richie and metromans rivalry is less of a game and more of a metroman one up'd her ome to many times so now shes gotta take him out

its fine not because shes incompetent- in fact her death rays and pointy sticks are ingenious and have 0% public property or civilian causalities - but because metroman is not only impossible to kill, he adapts to anything that gets close (anything that doesnt kill him makes him stronger literally)

i guess this means theres a good chunk of the story that is centered around human adaptability vs perfect hero dudes adaptability

Roxanne Ritchie is actually a noted scientist or something at the local research facility - i figure blue people planet is really advanced and everyones at least a little technosmart but while it doesnt come as easily or naturally to Roxanne her way of thinking is really unique n shiz and shes an asset to every team....

but if you see her in a mask with some project from the lab macguivered into a gun trying to kill metroman well, no ones getting hurt and humans need hobbies and everyone respects the mask desptie the fact shes the ONLY human on the planet so its not like its hard to figure out who she is

she does spend a lot of nights having to rebuild projects and apologizing and such but basically everyone plays the plausible deniability card and asks her questions abiut what went wrong and okay so the masked menace failed after you let them steal our project but lets pretend for a moment the goal was to fix crops how would you say this did? and grumply shed revamp the guns weird side effect into an alien pollinating crop duster or whatever

got carried away when REALLY all I WANTED to say was

Whille Roxanne Ritchie is adaptable ingenuity and gets away at the last minute NOT because no ones trying to catch her but shes just that CLEVER and thinks ahead and shiz....

Megamind is the guy trying to interview her in the middle of a fight like he thinks he's cute - i mean he is but shes chasing after metroman and skids to a stop because this jerk stepped in for a comment. or shes lining up the perfect shot but theres a close up of megaminds reporter bag in the way

the thing is that maybe... blue people arent violent. a natural disaster hit recently and theyre coming back from it and if the two adopted alien kids want to play extreme tag well no ones getting hurt and Roxanne Ritchie will grow out of her competitiveness no doubt caused by just how superior EVERYONE on the planet is by finding her own niche and metroman will grow up and stop bating her because maybe he IS still better than everyone else and thats met with "oh very nice we're proud" but it doesnt really validate him or make him feel special because its just treated as a special thing he can do by everyong but Roxanne Ritchie and once he's found something that makes him feel good regardless of the attention or lack of it he'll stop playing too

but megamind? megamind has an imagination that loves drama and blowing things out of proportion and thats part of why his reports are so popular? like yeah everyones treating this super hero showdown with indulgence but megamind is good at framing theatrics so that this news story is actually a compelling narrative? and also everyone can see the tension is going to have one of these three "kids" confessing live someday

and maybe he gets carried away. one of those 'aw well next time you could do x or y' or has some technological creation that accidentally actually makes Metroman flinch during an interview

and Roxanne Ritchie starts paying attentionto him for the first time.

and minion warns him but he doesnt listen. minion is lower class and is afraid of being replaced like a pet like some people do but Roxanne Ritchie Ritchie doesnt have a minion and even if she did theyre Best Friends not like those other blue people minion uperclass people.

and he carelessly says something unforgivable and Roxanne Richie uses his ideas and actually succeeds in killing metroman

so she goes to prison - a place they had to build just for her because this hasnt happened since stars knows when

and somebody else is doing the camera because minion left just is gone and megamind looks defeated but testifies against her and is quiet and subdued and stpps being a reporter for a bit

and.... idk. i feel like we'll have to resolve the whole class system so minon goes underground and finds other minons who are unhappy with the way of things and if theyre ALREADY rebuilding society after that huge natural disaster that DIDNT blow up their planet thanks TO a minion well ehy cant they fix this too?

so theres a rebellion going on and theyve got a secret weapon to make blue people listen and idk but i feel like it's Metroman

and... how do stories like this go ive forgotten

minion wouldnt tell megamind or he would

metroman would break Roxanne Ritchie out of prison during the first riot of the minion revolt?

they talk and compare why they hated eachother and slowly work together and are actually a great team?

and then they need a reporter to make themselves heard as something other than minions going crazy

and so of course they go to megamind for help getting the story out

something something megamind is minions sidekick for this adventure

"Roxanne Ritchie was raised by the planet and turned against it and instigated civil unrest and killed a person who was also the good child etc etc instead of just growing up to face your problems"

"actually im alive and i finally found my place? helping out the real heros?"

"i mean i did try to kill him, but he forgave me and we're kinda working together because planet of moms and dads that raised us? yall actually are the ones who need to grow up and let go of the traditions that dont serve etc etc"

and megamind does a huge public apology to minion

and... uhhhhhhhhh fuck i really dont know how these storyies go

the blue people start making amends

metroman basically becomes a social worker for minion childern because finding their original families is a bit hard and most of these kids are just going to end up being raised by super dad but at least the rebellion minion families are actually geting to be their own family units and in a couple gens thatll be normal

Roxanne Ritchie goes back to being the token human in the lab and hangs up her super suit and is generally dissatisfied with this

until one night a hero breaks into her apartment to make her answer for her crimes and so for a legit hot second theyre fighting and megamind says something and Roxanne apologizes and then fighting stops being an argument and goes into banter flirting

the worss "where theres evil good will rise up to fight it" peob comes up a lot in this fic in different iterations

anyways megamind isnjust basically like hey wanna do this like. for the rest of our lives dramatic battle showdowns like its entertainment but like no theyre doing this for real?

the answer is hell yeah

and its a polyship and sometimes Roxanne is helping with the kids and then Megamind bursts in to "save" the family from her evil clutches and 90% of the time everything is improve

megamind kidnaps Roxanne to make metromind save her and a good half of the conversation is that hes an idiot for coming shes tried to kill him three times this week and hes bitching because do you know how hard it is to find a sitter for 30 odd minion kids this short notice and they better make it up to him

Roxanne is not superdad but the 30 odd minion kids adore when she comes over because they mob the villain so hard until finally mega comes to save her because hes actually very good with the kids

of course this poly ship isnt complete without minion and at some point minion and mega realize theyve actually been married for years and Roxanne and metro tease them shamelessly for it

minion and his race need a real name obviously

when Roxanne was a... graduate her senior project theses thingy was essentially "im going to go back to planet earth itll be great ive figured out were im from and how to go there in a reasonable amout of time" and everyone had to sit her down and explain that unlike metroman they knew where she was from the planet was just destroyed.

they never figured out where metroman was from because his direction sharply changed to follow baby Roxannes course and mirrored her coding despite very obviously how he had originated from elsewhere

this is important because his race is basically coming to conquer the blue people planet soon - the group finds out - and will download all the survival upgrades metroman has gotten to become unkillable and then just come down to the surface and be unstoppable taking the place over and whiping out the planet like theyve done many many times

a good chunk of the time trying to figure out how to stop them when this planet is REALLY against murder war and violence for good reason and even if they WOULD do that its impossible over looks some alone time that leads to megamind and metroman figuring out how to like kill him so when the bad guys show up theyll go "whelp better not fuck with them" and leave but between roxanne and minion they manage to not only stabilize metroman (Roxanne blood transfusions maybe???) but they manage to scare the aliens so bad they tuck tail and leave speading rumors that these are the scariest mfs in space (go minion)

metroman never lets Roxanne live down saving his life

eventually space humans show up to check the place out

megamind loves everything human despite most of the planet thinking theyre primitive and showing it

roxanne is reluctant to meet them at first but then really relates to them?

for a good long while it REALLY seems like megamind and Roxanne are just going to go on space adventures with the humans leaving metroman and minion - who really doesnt like them and also they kinda rub him the wrong way because he's non bipedal and they kinda make fun of him in a 'we totally dont mean anything by it lighten up' sort of way.

they don't go of course but they may have stolen a lot of atar charts n shit and who hasnt wanted to take a road trip through space with 30 odd childern who will need names and personalities and may be chopped down to a slightly more reasonable number by this point?

metroman loves space karaoke and his natural abilites mean he learns languages fast but no he still cant carry a tune

megamind and Roxanne still duke it out on various alien cityscapes

minion usually breaks them out of jail if theyre not to be let out the next day because nothing was actually damaged that didnt belong to them.

one memorable occasion it was metoman in a fight with megamind and they wont say what its about but both look very put out and minion looks smug

it doesn't matter in the end because Roxanne teams up with the childern to propose to them first

apparantly i had a lot more ideas about this then i meant to? i mean its not well thoughout out and despite the drama a good half the fic is just going to be cute relationship building stuff between the four of them

[ifihavepoweritwouldbe]

DAD WHAT THE FUCK

Okay so, my dad is one ofthe old people where they ddint know how the fuck to internet. So my dad ask me to watch some movie on youtube bc he heard from me that youtube have videos. So like, he ask me to search for x-men and I did, and so letting him watch youtube from my tablet which zi'm using internet data, my parent are old fashioned okay, I dont have wifi. So like, I left him with my tablet by himself and honestly worrting abiut my internet data bc he has been on the tablet watcging youtube videos for 3 hours and youtube arent cheap, so after he five me back my tablet, I went and look athe youtube history and HOW THE FUCK DID MY DAD WENT FROM X MEN TO SOME SORT OF FUCKING PORN?? HE DDINT EVEN SEARCH IT! I WAS SO FUCKING EMBARASSED BC IM A 16 YEARS OLD GIRL WHO NEVER WATCH PORN AND THE SUDDENLY THERE IS SOME SORT OF PORN?? I didnt watch the videos,  ut the tumbnail are pretty telling with girls on their back or half naked girl or "how nice the first night of wedding IS" 

D u d e I honestly will think that hes only there by coincident but he have watch a lot of video of it and I ONLY TNOUGHT HE WAS WATCHING SOME SORT OF MOVIES NOT T H A T 

[obannthepunished]

This weeks notes Mostly transcription this week i think, i tried my best for nott’s scene. as usual ignore the asterisks because theyre just notes to myself.

peace

Molly is Nervous (tm) abiut sticking around, or going to the gentleman

theres a fight in the evening nip, beau is fucking excited its thedd (halfling from sewers) and lewis (one of the ones that had run from the research facility)

N: "I got three gold on Thedd" M: Seems a bit late for a wager at this point N: Just you and me! M:.... fair. I'm in.

Thedd wins by standing on lewis' throat til he passes out holy shit M: (drops coins into Nott's hand) N, smug: Thank you :)

oh now Nott and Beau are fighting jesus christ. C: "I cast Haste on Beauregard." Laura: YOU PIECE OF SHIT **

J: Inflict Wounds (17 dmg) ((Fjord, changing his voice: "I GOT 5 GOLD ON THE HORNY ONE)) B: WHAT THE FUCK JESTER, Stunning Strike, (7dmg, jes fails con save (6), she is stunned, extra attack from haste, 6dmg) J: (is stunned for this round, until the end of beaus turn) B: Beaus the shit outta her ( 12dmg, 6dmg) ((MOLLY blinds her)) B: still goin, but misses 2 of em, hits on the third (12dmg) J: (goes down)

caleb: goes for the low five, and Beau just.... ignores him unintentionally bless.

Frumpkin is sent to lick the blood off of jesters face, Beau cleans her up <33

They are called to the gentleman's side

offered a forward of 500gp and a pot of 4500g to travel to Shady Creek Run, the criminals town, and free and bring back Ophelia... something, who corresponds often with the gentleman

the tldr of the second (250 adv, 1750 pot) is that the swamps are dangerous for the gentlemans safehouse which has gone dark.

theyre promised resources for missions from the gentleman

Jester: "IS HE MOIST"(re the gentleman)

they take on both, starting with the swamps. The Gentleman advises they travel the 70 miles above ground.

Fjord is so fuckin smooth talky wtf. they get greater heling potion(s)?? + cure disease? Caleb's gettin some ink + paper, but its not good for spells 8(

Nott keeps making water puns. im counting 4. and a hankie.

Jester wand of smiles Kutha again, poor kutha 8(

Caleb + beau ( + assumedly nott) go to pumat's

have they paid their inn tab??

Cay buys incense for rituals, probably find familiar lbh. he also gets his magical ink+parchment.

Beau is interested in the bracers of defence. Theyre like 1200gp tho arent they??? B: how much PS: 1200 gold B:HOLY SHIT PUMAT. [snip] B: HOLY SHIT PUMAT(S).

C: (tells beau he cast haste) B: YOU SLIP SOMETHIN IN MY DRINK CALEB??? WHAT THE FUCK MAN

they have 6 horses, 2 pulling, 6 solo. Jes is driving thr cart.

Caleb: (brings up the feywild) Jester: oh the traveller has told me about that!!

Frumpkin is (one of) the first cats yasha has seen 8'O shes fuckin loving it **

lots of fucking soldiers heading to war. hundreds, if not thousands.

night falls as they reach the origin of the. road. they cant find a campground because tal rolled SHIT even with advantage.

Jester + Fjord take first watch. (13. Nothing) Yasha + Beau on second watch. (14. Also Nothing.) B: We should huddle together for warmth??? Y: Fr- Frumpkin is keeping me. very warm. are you cold??? do you want my, my cloak? B: No, no my, my (jacket??? cant remember what she said) is fine, its htin, but its warm Then they talk about Yasha ands this is the furthest shes ever been. Y: "i like this stuff. Grass, and, things. you know." B: You appreciate grass?

B: What was your favourite part of xorhas? Y: I... dont know if i HAD a favourite part

this was the CUTEST shit

third watch is Nott + Molly (10, nothing happens) taliesin trying a jester voice makes me the heart eyes emoji

goblins canonically steal children what THE FUCK. And EAT them. But Nott, apparently, has not eaten a child. "My clan, we STOLE from people. money and clothing and things. And when things got tough, we'd steal the people too." Goblins dont do family. "I do not have an urge to kill and eat children" "i have cravings for... rats... cats-" (Caleb snaps) Frumpkin goes back to the feywild Yasha: =(

taliesin taking watch after rolling shit cmon. he gets 16. Noon, broken cloud cover, a tiny distant curl of smoke. oh not again. its a mile away tho so like

the smoke is coming from a small shack.

"For you, Fjord, I will make Frumpkin a bird." He doesn't though but its the sentiment.

Yasha gets shoulder frumpkin back!

The shack door opens to "an elderly fullblood orc" with hair and beard and all that shit.

for 1 (one) gp a month, you TOO can bother a whole old man orc. Jesus christ he had a battleaxe. puts it down, invites yasha and molly in. THIS IS SO UNNECESSARY Molly buys hide armor + 2lb of meat for 16gp. M: Perception check 10. Matt: "Okay." There is sOMETHING SUS about this.

and theyre off again, i am glad for this. i do not like elderly orc man.

yasha and molly double up on that goof "we totally killed him, three times." its very good

M + Y: What kind of meat is this? (fuck their rolls) its meat! its good meat!

M+Y take first watch, its 12. Nothing happens. Yasha collects some flowers to press awww. N+C Second watch, they roll w advantage lmao. 22. something is going to happen. "you hear the snapping of a twig. you see a shifting of shadow. a few things" Cay casts mage armor

Two arrows for Caleb. con saving throw. probably poison. 10. its poison. he is poisoned. fucks frickin sake. is it gnolls?? is it goblins??? hyenas??? furred barking things. wolves.

two ogres, a cluster of wolves, and goblin-like creatures

initiative order:

Beau: Nat20, 24 Goblins Caleb: 18 Fjord, Molly: 16 Ogres Nott: 15 Yasha, Jester: 6 Wolves

B: Jester, puppies!!

Yasha and Jester shrug off poison of those that hit them.

Caleb casts slow on one ogre. unrelated liam is so good???

oh yeah eldritch blast gets two beams of eldritch blast at lv3

Molly radiants once scimitar and cuts RIGHT through one of em. misses the second.

Caleb hit with a javelin, 4-5 inches into his stomach, holding itself upright. Caleb keeps the spell going.

Nott pretends shes one of them and aims for Caleb, hits the book instead. and nails it.

Jester (traumatised): CALEB!!! cure wounds 2nd level. but he is pretty fucked so its ok. he heals to full its ok its ok. Jester cares so much

Yasha pulls necrotic shroud! which as someone who cant watch TM, this is a reveal for me! :D

J: (to cale) Youre alive! How did- C: (monotonous) haha! funny, joke.

Fjord explodes a goblin Molly cuts one in half, vertically

Molly curses the ogre attacking beau

Nott shoots the ogre, and then the goblin next to her... but misses and is fucked

Yash gets the hdywtdt on one of the ogres

Beau @ necrotic shroud!yasha: you look... dope. You look FUCKIN HOT LETS GO.

cay has magic missile!

fjord gets the second hdywtdt w eldritch blast.

cay n molly go to retrieve stolen goods from goblin but apparently just Molly

Yasha necrotic shrouds when shes startled awake. F: Can you fly? Y: ...no J: Have you tried? Y:... yeah.

Yasha n Caleb have a conversation in celestial C: No really, are you an angel? Y: of sorts, i guess [snip] C: You will have to explain this now, or later. do you want to explain this now, or later? Y: i- ill explain it, just, maybe we should clean up first!

i have no idea whats going on but i heard marisha say "bad dragon" and im gonna die

J: Nott, are you okay? Was it weird to fight other goblins? N: it was... rewarding. I'm only sad that... one got away. B: Nott, do you share the same hatred in yourself? [snip] N: Do... do I hate myself? No. I'm... I'm cool. F: You seem excited to hurt your own kind. N: I know, I'm a goblin, for as long as I've been alive I haven't felt comfortable in, in there. I havent felt comfortable in my skin. It feels like I shouldnt be, i dont fit in with them. I feel, this feels WRONG, like I should be in a different body. The way they act, the way they are, it's not ME. They do horrible things to people, and they seem fine with it. I never felt the same with them. It's not that I don't like myself or anything, I think I'm okay, I just don't like how I feel when I see my hands, or my feet. They just feel wrong. I just want to be... different. C: Was there anyone you were close to? N: Not in my clan, but there was... someone. They tried me on different jobs but I was not a soldier, i was not a good cook, not good at sweing, or building, they stuck me with the torturer. I was the torturers assistant. there was a halfling village not far away and they captured someone from the village, they wanted me to kill him, but instead, I was kind to him. And he started talking, and my... fellow gobbies didn't like that, but they allowed it, because i was getting valuable information. [about halflings resources] I became friends with him. He was nice. J: What happened to him? N: I hope he got away J: Did you leave before him? N: We left together [snip J: Did you love him? N: .... I don't know. The halfling taught her how to speak in halfling, taught her about alchemy, when he has taught her everything, the goblins said to kill him. And she didnt want to. so she got REAL drunk, and shot another goblin in the ass. N: I hope he got away. We ran off in separate directions. I've been running ever since.

+1 to the quest log, find Nott's friend.

Beaus trying to be nice i love her.

C: I do not care. I know who you are now. (<333)

B: I think we're all a little bit of island of misfits.

F: You showed a lot of bravery tonight B: Nott, The brave. J: Maybe there is a comma.

Y: Nott, I'm sorry we made fun of you eating children N: I HAVE NOT EATEN CHILDREN

B: What got you locked up with this guy? (Caleb) N: Being me. Stealing food? C: You told me it was cherry wine. N: OKAY IT WAS BOOZE.

it is now raining.

M: Well, I'm sleeping underneath the cart! if anyone wants to join me... J: We wont all fit! M: We'll snuggle. *

Molly + Jester are under the cart.

"i tasted a baby once. ONCE. they were handing around a bowl, I didn't know-" -N Liam takes Sam's flask and takes a swig so i assume caleb does the same in canon C: "Who am I to judge?"

[lonerism2105]

11/7/21 (archive)

i just dont know man... it feels whatever i perceived myself as is so fuckin incorrect. like i am just the opposite of what im supposed to be. my friends and i had a long talk and like they told me that i made everything about myself and that i dont sense another person's pain... that if someone tells me what they are going thru i say "oh yeah i went thru that" or "oh yeah no my friend went thru that". i just feel so shitty because that is not the person i wanna be. and why cant i share with people... like what makes me hesitare to share my things with others?? its just eating away at me when they said that i take more than i give... is it really true?? is that how people perceive me?? this is just fucking with my mind so bad... and about aarya... i just dont know man, her voice is ringing the loudest in my head... her words are like repeated stabs into my heart and they make me want to reach for the scalpel and actually hurt myself...

 • "dont you have other friends" this was legit a stab in my heart yikes like lol it made me want to stab myself

 • "sachi and i are going to always be closer to me than to you. she is MY best friend and she is always gonna choose me."

 • "you have no loyalty"

 • "i am saying this because we are already talking abiut it- sarah actually called me... you know how sachi is my best friend, sarah is my bff. she actually asked me how could you be friends with pani. like im actually disappointed- and the way she spoke shows that there actually hasnt been any growth since then." okay lets make one fact clear... i have never really spoken to or been that close to sarah and eleventh grade me idk... i dunno what caused her to jump to that conclusion and what triggered her to assume that about me. i just dont know...

 • "sachi has gone thru even worse than you yet she doesn't do what you do."

 • "yeah and you know who else got out of her home and is independent for the first time? sachi." lol this actually hurt xD and it's been on repeat in my head ever since yesterday.. i slept with this ringing in my head and i woke up with this ringing in my head... like damn everybody's trauma is different and everybody takes time to heal and it's not a fucking competition and sachi is way different than me... she is much more better at dealing with this shit and she had a headstart alright?? i let myself sink into that shitty gaslighting cycle and for the longest time i was convinced that being told to die was a normal parenting thing and that my parents were good hence they practiced so much control on me... but at the same time the way everyone kept in saying that "we have gone thru the same thing as you, you aren't any special" really makes me doubt that i have just made this all in my head and its so FUCKIng scary🥺 i am so scared that i have just been lying to myself and making this up and my parents were actually right that i have just put a label on it to get more attention.... just hahahah existential crisis has risen again...

im just... it's painful hehe. like i dunno where will we go from here and i honestly dont know what will happen to me. will i slip into that familiar welcoming sadness where i become numb and dissociate from reality... just like headless zombi with no direction? to be honest that sounds so ideal and so well known that i actually feel like letting myself fall... to not care about how im wasting, to starve and make myself suffer, to cause me physical pain so that it can take my mind off the deep pain and grief i feel inside me... i want to hurt myself more than anything else.. i want to punish myself and i want to beat myself i want to make myself feel such incredible pain... dont know if that makes me a sadist but to cause pain to myself feels like the only better alternative than to become numb... because being numb is like floating with no sense of time and just losing out on yourself while carving myself up will atleast remind me that im human that i bleed like other do and that i have some sort of semblance to others despite being so fucked up... maybe mama was right.. maybe i am a habitual liar and maybe i deserve to be alone

yes i want to therapy and that always gonna be around but my self destructive bitton has been pressed and to think about anything that will make me better feels so yuck

i dunno man... guess im just gonna stop talking about myself altogether. i actually felt comfortable with this group to talk about things that i haven't really told many people and thats perceived as being insensitive... singh actually told that im making my personality all about being sad and yikes that just means i got too comfortable and in turn made other people uncomfortable. never talking about my trauma ever again. never ever EVER. i either type it down or write it down ir just shove it to the side and distract myself. i am never gonna talk about what im going thru or if im suffering because i don't need that kind of power struggle. from no one im going to work to make my facade so strong and so impenetrable that no one can know... not even the people closest to me because im a ticking time bomb and i cant risk losing the few people i have... arushi literally said kitne din aur tera randi rona sunanana padega xD well not anymore now onwards im just not gonna open up. i am gonna shut myself up completely so that nobody can know me. too late that these guys know way too much and i wanna kick myself for it but going forward, no on absolutely no one will know about me.. you can call me mysterious or whateva idc... im just gonna be a massive bitch and towards the people i care about im gonna be funny, nice and all things nice. yesss this sounds so much better... being jaded and stoic really sounds like a nice idea ❤️ if only i could get an unhealthy coping mechanism like smoking along with it.. it would just be perfect. numb everything, sounds so beautiful and attainable than actually facing my demons. like Aastha said, just think of this as character development well yall would definitely enjoy this new character arc 😁 of course i would be funny and the comic relief and yes im gonna be a better listener and be more empathetic but im never gonna talk about my joys, my sadness, ny trauma, my happiness, my family relationships... nothing. radio silence. im closing my heart up hence forth such a pain in the ass... its what fucks me over the most so im just gonna kill all the hopes on having "my person" or having a "soulmate' because that hope has always hurt me. and i was born alone so im gonna die alone and that's a fact. hope is such a bitchy thing... always got me ahead of myself and always fucked me over. no more hope... we are just gonna fake it till we make it... im gonna fake my happiness, my humor, my joy everything because absolutely no one can know how i am dying a little everyday. no one can know the amount of hate for myself i hold in my heart. no one can know the things that pain me. no one can know the things that give me joy. no one no one no one. no one is getting closer to me because i need to reduce collateral damage... i am not gonna kill myself obviously but oh... the things i have in store for punishing me?? its gonna be fun 😁 if im not a person anyone can give a second thought about then that definitely means i should not care about myself either. but of course... im gonna be kind and polite and definitely work on being generous.. im gonna continue being a good person even tho aarya says otherwise. i am good and i will stick to that part of my upbringing. im gonna excel in my studies most obviously... gotta play to my strengths so i can convince just how much of a perfect life i have 🥰 being fake sounds so much fun 😁 and i cant wait to fake about my entire personality as being funny, edgy and kind at the same time... sounds beautiful

therapy is always gonna be there bit i really need this for now... imma tell papa that my exams are coming close so i really cant give much attention to therapy maybe after that

damn this is actually a nice thing... to write/type it all down makes me feel lighter and more resolved.