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whinlatter · 2 months

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author's note | chapters 13 & 14: the moult & the vulture

now the dust has settled... thank you for reading chapters 13 and 14 of beasts! thank you also to the askbox angels who asked for the author’s note (it is still mad to me someone reads these). now, it's inquiry time, baby - and boy are the gloves coming off, and the secrets spilling out. the wait was long; so were the chapters. sorry, again, about that. so - kindly read on for discussion of some major themes and plot points, a little on song choices, and some juicy deets and a sneak peek of chapter 15... and 16…

✨ spoilers for this chapter below the cut ✨

writing notes and headcanons

first - a disclaimer: am going to talk about that cliffhanger in a separate post up shortly (i rambled on too long). it will be up shortly!

second - a thank you! the reaction to these chapters has me in absolute bits. i'm a soppy sentimental shit at heart and this really did make me the happiest little girl in the world. so thank you forever and ever for that.

third - an acknowledgement, as ever, to @saintsenara, whom i bounce all the inane details off of, whose takes absolutely slap and who i hope will forgive me for making her boy rookwood such a flop.

divide and conquer/accidentally wrote two chapters again: what am i like! the trouble is - life-stuff aside - i was excited about these chapters (and the reveals), but also put far too much pressure on them to do a huge amount of heavy lifting, and to get the story to a place it wasn’t yet at and needed to get to quick. the writing challenge for these chapters was that i needed a series of plots to hit a rolling boil so we can get to the flashbacks to ginny’s war and all the reveals. and it took fucking ages to work how to structure and serve them as each needs at this point in the fic, and try to find a set of themes/devices to tie those plots together into something cohesive (especially because writing fic is much more like dropping tv show episodes in structure rather than actually sharing a novel, in part because you drop them one at a time at intervals, and i think the more successful ones can stand alone while also serving the overall body of work). i have - i confess - knitted, in my time, and you know when you have really thick wool and thick needles and you’re trying to slowly eek off one stitch onto the other needle and it actually really starts to hurt? it felt like that :)

two inquiries, both alike in dignity: god, i love an inquiry. the truth being dragged out kicking and screaming by the state, buffeted by political winds and a rapacious press? inject it. at last, the past is getting properly dredged up, and all sorts of buried secrets are getting unearthed in the process. so: in the present, the hogwarts inquiry is under way, and the wizengamot has assembled to hear what exactly has been going down in that cursed drafty old castle. in the past, though, we have flashbacks to a separate inquiry, into the events of 1992-1993, after the chamber of secrets was opened, where it wasn’t hogwarts on trial, but ginny herself (in a way). the events of ginny’s first year have haunted her in diffuse, quiet, private ways in the flashbacks throughout this fic so far, but we’re moving into the part of the fic where we see just how much they changed the course of her life and who she is as a person. in canon, ofc, we only see harry’s view of the aftermath of ginny’s ordeal in the chamber - dumbledore is reinstated, lucius gets kicked off the governors, ginny weasley is ‘perfectly happy again’... but would that *really* be the end of it? doesn’t it seem perfectly plausible the ministry would investigate given the scale of publicity and threat to student lives, given (as discussed previously) the ministry canonically holds inquiries of varying scales for all sorts of things in canon? wouldn't they hold one for this?

ginny's guilt: in CoS, young harry never blames ginny for any of it: she was hoodwinked, he recognises, and not at all culpable. it’s very harry, and it’s a compassionate read of the situation. but given how little we know dumbledore tells anyone about what the diary actually was (even lucius didn’t know), wouldn’t ginny expect to face at least some questions about her own involvement and culpability, even if she was clearly to some extent also a victim? (the nod to colin’s mum is there as a reminder that there were real victims of the basilisk attacks: ginny could easily have been responsible for the deaths of several children, including her own friends, and if it were my child i think i’d want to ask at least a question or two). what i wanted to show with these flashbacks was this very formative experience for young ginny grappling with her own guilt and her place between two wars, having to face difficult questions about her own complicity in dark magic and attempted murder; for there to be echoes of ginny’s experiences in the experiences of young death eaters during the second wizarding war, and to start to properly draw these themes about choices, moral agency and grey areas, about children’s radicalisation and wars fought both by and through them, and, in particular, where ginny weasley sat within them. what i wanted to show was how ginny’s political and moral worldview was shaped in those pivotal years: her guilt, her sense of her own failings and inadequacies, how discontent she was to be a victim, how obsessed she is with being an agent and a soldier, how much she feels she has to prove. i might bash out a proper meta on this but i think it’s so telling how ginny talks about her second year later on in canon - how haunted she is by the forgetting (in OotP), and how much she sees it as having ‘[taken] orders’ (in HBP), rather than thinking of her possession as just playing host to another entity. here, it’s dumbledore who points out the key traits that led ginny into riddle’s path: her loneliness and isolation, her many insecurities that made her so vulnerable, her fear, a certain desire for self-preservation. even though we know most hogwarts students don’t seem to really know what happened in CoS, and certainly not ginny’s part in it (terry boot in OotP is like ‘lol did you kill a basilisk with a sword!’ which seems to be the extent of the student body’s knowledge of what went down). but i like the idea of there being a record of ginny’s darkest moment in her file, ink and paper proof of this most formative experience in her life, dumbledore dancing around her defence but keeping his cards close to his chest - and also there to pursue if anyone planning a hogwarts takeover was interested in finding someone close to the order of the phoenix who might be a weak link in the chain and be persuaded to flip…

dumbledore: dumbledore appears here only in flashbacks - he’s still absent from his portrait in the present - but it was sooo fun (re)introducing him as a character for the fic for the first time. what i liked about writing dumbledore’s dialogue (though it’s actually much harder than i expected, and i don’t feel that great about some of the lines) was that it was a chance to get a bit meta with the dumbledore bashing tropes that circle around fandom - you work through child soldiers, you monster etc - and try and do something a bit more interesting with them, or at least ask some questions (child soldiers or human shields? can children fight for what they believe in? how you fight a fair fight when the other side sees children as fair game - do you confine children to victimhood, or do you acknowledge, or even encourage, their own moral agency and desire to fight back?) dumbledore is walking a very difficult moral line here: defending ginny, but declining to disclose information that might conclusively exonerate her - eg. the existence of voldemort’s horcruxes - in the name of his most favourite thing, the greater good. in dumbledore’s mind, ginny deserves a defence, but not the whole truth, because that’s too important and bound up in a much bigger picture. dumbledore is always playing 3D chess while everyone else plays chequers. should dumbledore have revealed the horcruxes to conclusively exonerate ginny here? no, right? and yet. one day ginny will name her middle son after this man, and we might start to think about why. is it just loyalty to harry? or something else? i wanted us to see ginny’s political worldview being built, and her view of war and a soldier’s role in it, all themes that will be super important as we go back in time to see her war as she lived it in future chapters.

the intellectuals: one of the least developed but most interesting parts of the wizarding world in canon are the ideas and the people who have em. the series has a lot of important characters that are supposed to be eminent thinkers, but it doesn’t ever really linger on ideology, in the end settling on a kind of boilerplate liberal universalist good vs evil message which is fiiine but much less interesting than actually playing around with the concept of political thinkers and political thought in wizarding culture. it’s why i find the department of mysteries so interesting and so ripe with potential; the idea of a space of intellectual inquiry and investigation, but also a place where the staff’s moral allegiance is kind of a question mark. i loved introducing rookwood here and playing with a different kind of death eater, especially juxtaposed with dumbledore’s reflections in the flashback testimony. rookwood isn’t a bruising thug for fire, or a self-serving machiavellian real politik type or a coward acting out of fear, but someone who really believes in magical supremacy and has built a robust political worldview around it. there’s something really chilling about that. we’ll be seeing him again and i unfortunately am now so rookwood-pilled i worry i will never recover. i knew i’d get hegel in there somewhere! and they said it couldn’t be done! ariana carl schmidt what are you doing here!

kingsley vs minnie: delicious to reignite the minnie discourse, especially to come out to try and beat the minnie-bashing allegations that have jovially dogged me thus far. so far in this fic, kingsley has been an unrelenting goodie, someone who came to ginny to get her endorsement of the inquiry and framed that approach as the righting of a moral wrong in letting the victims of a death eater-run hogwarts have their day in court. minnie, on the other hand, seemed like ginny’s opp, defending a toxic status quo and making wild suggestions like ‘do your homework’ ‘don’t play quidditch when you might die’, like some kind of fucking idiot. in the series ministers of magic are canonically not to be trusted - harry certainly never meets a minister who doesn’t try to put the squeeze on him - and it’s extremely fun to sow these seeds of doubts about kingsley’s motivations here, especially when using ginny the protagonist as canon harry’s mirror (ie. a narrator who is frequently a dumb bitch). what’s kingsley up to? answers on a postcard. but i’ll die on the kingsley is a slytherin hill i’m so sorry! and speaking of minnie…

mother figures (or: the pitfalls of shipping your mum out to the dominions): look i bummed myself out with this one. i have had that the mrs granger knife crime incident scene written for SOoooooo long let me tell you. i’ve written elsewhere about how much this fic is really so much about the girls, and - especially - the girls and their mums, or the people they make mother figures out of. one of the least satisfying of the ‘all was well’ aspect of the series was that actually, at the end of DH, you have a whole host of people who were probably never going to be well again, and i very much see hermione’s parents in that camp. the world and his wife has an opinion on hermione’s decision vis-à-vis her parents. hermione’s stans see it as her deepest personal self-sacrifice; her haters take it as yet more proof of her monstrousness. even if you imagine the grangers were totally mentally well after having their muggle brains messed around with by powerful magic, it is hard to imagine how their relationship with their daughter could ever really be the same again after hermione played god with their minds. but also - as ron says - hermione was motivated by a desperate desire to protect two people who would never really be able to wrap their heads around the peril (such was their distance from her life in the magical world), and who conceivably did need to be yeeted halfway across the world to get them out of harm’s way. the choices made in war - the inglorious, imperfect decisions not of purist heroes but of soldiers in the grimmest of circumstances - are so interesting to play with writing post-war fic, and i have found it so interesting and so sad to play with; especially the idea of girls coming of age and learning to see their mothers clearly, and - in the case of both hermione but also ginny - having to wrap their heads around the possibility that they may never really be ok again, and asking what that means for them, their daughters.

(also hermione brawling at ballet is a tribute to a very dear friend of mine who was in fact asked to leave our ballet lessons for pulling another girl’s hair in a fight over the barre in a pre-primary exam. monstrous competitive precocious stroppy madams unite!)

hinny: i’ll answer some of the Qs i’ve had about this in a separate little from the postbag post shortly, but i do want to say: the thing with these chapters is that it was really important they happened after harry and ginny have had some breakthrough in the preceding chapter, where ginny has agreed to be honest and harry has asked her to let him help her and not to protect him from the truth. i always wanted harry and ginny to write these letters each other and promise to be honest to work on bridging the gaps between them and overcoming their own failings to work to do better by each other, and for those letters to now look like contracts they have to hold each other to. how will harry take it? they’ve made a commitment to each other. now they’re testing that commitment, and that’s going to take a lot of work, especially on harry’s part. (also ofc he had to find out at shell cottage, the official place of harry realising stuff. he’s going to start declining bill and fleur’s dinner invitations fr.)

ron weasley is our king: this whole fic is just ron apologism and i will never apologise for it. helping his girlfriend's traumatised mentally scarred mother with a bit of tlc and a spot of gardening! rescuing neighbour's children from trees! you will never be able to convince me ron weasley wouldn't be a great fucking boyfriend to one ms hermione granger. do not ever try!

last thing - sodding quidditch: fucking hate writing it!!! hate it with my whole heart!!! i see why everyone writes hermione now. you don’t have to give a shit about those stupid balls if granger's your gal. the mystery of what’s going on with ginny on her broom continues, with ginny’s apparent ability to seek (just about) but not chase throwing up more questions than answers. what was fun about writing this bit was getting to write ginny the captain and the team player, taking on great risk for the team - of injury, of humiliation - and also place her in this surround that the trio never really operate in: a character who is canonically very popular and liked by her peers, who has played the thoroughly selfless and unrewarding role of backup seeker and potter understudy for years for her house, and who will saddle up at enormous personal expense not just because she is brave, or inherently self-sacrificing, but because she wants to make the people around her happy - her gryffindor family, but also the hogwarts student body at large. the trio are much less motivated by the well-being of the other children around them - they have higher-minded self-sacrificing tendencies about a more abstract moral good. neville and luna, the other two members of the silver trio, are goodies but unpopular oddities. it’s an underplayed part of the series that harry and the trio turn around in their sixth year and clock that somehow ginny turned out to be very liked and respected by the popular and unpopular of hogwarts alike, admired for being a) a laugh and b) someone who cares about other people and wants to get on with them. (makes you realise how often protagonists are removed from their peers in a slightly lofty they don’t understand me or being popular is beneath me vein.) this isn’t just a Nice Thing: i think it’s important for who ginny is as a character, and will be important for thinking about her wartime motivations, too.

reading list:

not done one of these in a while! but most things should come with a reading list, and these chapters are no different.

on ministry bureaucracy and the state (actually read this after these chapters were done but desperately wish i had read it before ffs):

Subluxation by @saintsenara

on hermione's mum/parents:

alone now by Kyra Along the Way by ElizabethCulmer you were broken-hearted and the world was, too by celaenos

on post-war justice and difficult questions:

what you're not to do by irnan

on the potters and the sea (more vibes than subject matter - this is next gen - but this one is gorgeous, and really got me thinking about harry and ginny's family by the sea):

Eyes like Sea Glass by @clerical3rror

songs from the playlist for these chapters:

for chapter 13 i went all moody, building dread, bit of a throwback to michael corner calling ginny a tryer with the taylor swift choice (i've never been a natural/all i do is try, try, try). that kate bush song basically got this chapter written i swear to god:

she is like the swallow by karan casey | waking the witch (2018 remaster) by kate bush | house of the rising sun by joni mitchell | bane by alt-j | afraid of everyone by the national | mirrorball - the long pond studio sessions by taylor swift | what if the birds aren't singing they're screaming by aldous harding

for chapter 14, much more abstract, a bit more instrumental, and out to sea (watershed moment; the tide is rolling in, kids). tortured poets is a deeply flawed deeply uneven album by a deeply un-self-aware artist convinced she knows herself well but but i'm afraid the albatross is very good (so is guilty as sin but it wasn't the moment for a matty healy wank anthem now was it):

the opportunity passed in less than a minute by roy montgomery | the albatross by taylor swift | first of the tide by erland cooper and benge | wash by bon iver | escapism by a. blomqvist

about chapter 15 (and 16…)

the next chapters are ginny's war. they're (almost) all flashback, and i am sooooooo excited about them (and desperately hope you will like them jfc). i am in the unusual position of now picking up great enormous pieces that i wrote over a year ago and dusting them off and sorting them out and rewriting bits and writing new bits around them. there's probably two chapters in it, so am currently expecting chapter 15 and 16 to drop at the same time (that might change, but for now, that feels right to me). i'm tip-tapping as fast as my little fingers can carry me. here's the least spoilery sneak peek i could rustle up!

'I'm not smugglin' in nuthin", says Hagrid. He raises a large muddy finger at her. 'I want yeh to listen to me, for once in yer life. Keep yer head down. Go to yer classes, have yer dinner, put up, and shut up. They're lookin' fer a reason to go after yer family. Reckon the best thing yeh can do for the Order is to keep to verself and stay out o' trouble. Reckon that's what yer mum wants yeh to do. Reckon that's what Harry wants, too.'

#beasts #author's note #remembered a reading list this time and all #more to come because of who i am as a person #AN #hinny

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shepherds-of-haven · 5 months

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hi!! So. i like writing for Trouble and my MC but i spend so much time clowning on him and making up silly scenarios that now i have no idea how to write him actually catching on to one of the moves she makes and what kinds of moves he cant explain away. Please do you have any tips or crumbs to throw my way to help? I need to write him making out sloppy style w my girl PLEASE!!

Anyway I really love shoh and I think about Trouble and my MC almost every day so tysm for the lovely gift of him <3 i also wrote this ask intending to be silly but if it sounds demanding or rude i am SO sorry I would never demand anything of u and will love anything you may kr may not respond with whether that be in 17 minutes or 17 years 🩵

Aw, thank you so much for this sweet message, it made me so happy to receive! 💖 Please don't worry about sounding rude at all, your words were so kind and made me grin ear-to-ear, so thank you!

To answer your question, I like this excerpt from the old novels to explain how I think Trouble can be in a romance: I usually envision him being casual or friendly and light-hearted, and then catching onto something--some shift in the mood or a lingering glance--and then kind of abruptly shifting into a more intense version of himself. It's not a side of himself he shows very often--we're mostly exposed to the goofy, jocular Trouble, but that 'intense' dominant Trouble is there, lurking underneath it all, and that's kind of the part that he struggles with because it's also tied up in his ferocious past and his temper. It's the same Trouble who can go from smiling and laughing with his friends in a bar to completely unsmiling and intimidating when he overhears some guy being a dickhead to a server nearby, except obviously in these scenarios it's sexual/romantic tension he's responding to (even if he doesn't fully know it's that) rather than regular like situational tension. I don't know if you have access to the alpha build, but the scene in the cave in Chapter 7 when he's warming up MC's hands or the abrupt change from "yay we're having fun" to "something just happened" in his latest day off (when Cordy flirts with you) are good examples of this, too! This sort of stilted "everything is great 95% of the time and then 5% of the time something happens and he can't control it" that's impeding him and MC's easy friendship is what's really throwing Trouble for a loop; he starts to feel guilty and confused and tormented about it because he thinks he's the only one feeling these things and getting in the way of what should be a smooth companionship, so he's just... feeling a lot of things and not knowing what to do with them, lol.

So I imagine 'heated makeout' tends to happen during one of these sudden changes to 'intense Trouble,' when he catches on to something he can't ignore--but I generally don't think it happens because of an outright flirtation or hint of MC's, because he can usually just laugh those off as them just joking around, so he doesn't really respond to those like one might expect? He's dazzlingly good at not catching on to things like that (short of an outright serious confession), so maybe that's why you're having trouble imagining it! I tend to imagine it happening entirely randomly, during some moment of unthinking intimacy, like in the cave in Chapter 7 or during a mission when emotions are high or something like that. Here's another example of what I'm thinking of!

...Or something like that, idk lol! Obviously take all of this with a huge grain of salt and don't let me influence you; however you write Trouble and MC's romance is fantastic! Hopefully some of these tips help you in some way!

#Shepherds of Haven #Trouble #Trouble Alder #fluff #novels #original novels #novel #original novel #writing

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iheartjameshetfield · 1 year

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I WROTE THAT REQUEST ABOUT JAMES EATING PUSSY AND NOW I’M THINKING OF BEING HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEARTS WITH HIM

like, imagine you’re both doing homework or studying or wtv, you’re parents are gone and you two end up making out, which leads to him having a boner cause he keeps thinking about THAT

and he’s super embarrased bc it has never happened before and ends up in being THE first time 😝‼️

ugh like come on man be my first bf please ☹️

AHH NO CUZ THE SECOND YOUR PARENTS WOULD LEAVE, HE WOULD BE ALLLL OVER YOU

he’d be so fucking cute as he presses kisses all over your face, telling you you’re so smart n pretty and how you’re gonna ace your exams and shit. after thanking him and returning a few kisses, you eventually tell him that you both have to get back to studying, which makes him groan in annoyance but he listens to you.

you were trying to help him memorize but he couldn’t care less about studying, so you made a compromise; whenever he answers a question right, you’ll kiss him. that quickly brought his attention forward, suddenly being able to answer everything with almost no hesitation.

when he answered the lengthy question, the one that he found most difficult, you were so happy, practically jumping on top of him to smother him with kisses while you tell him you’re so proud of him, making him laugh.

you feel something against your lower stomach, and when you shuffle on top of james to see what was pokin you, james let’s out a guttural moan, causing you both to snap your heads and face each other.

“shit, i’m sorry.” his face turns red as you get off of him, he looks at anywhere but you, embarrassed since this was the first time you caught him with a boner.

you were perched on your knees in front of him while he had himself rested on his arms, sitting up and not knowing what to do in a situation like this.

“does it hurt?” you whisper after a moment, your voice barely audible as you ask your question, worried that he might laugh at you.

instead, he shrugs and then nods. “a little.”

you feel your cheeks getting hotter as he keeps gazing at you, almost seeing what thoughts are going through his head. experimentally, you bring your hand towards him, placing it on his front before giving it a soft squeeze.

“is this okay?” you ask just to be sure.

“yes. yes more than okay.” he eagerly reassures you, watching you make your move.

you start to palm him, enjoying the faces and the little panting he was making. you had never gone this far before. the most you both had done was just making out, maybe james would rest his hand between your lower back and ass since he was a little shy, but this was new for the both of you.

the wetness in between your legs had started to become too much to ignore. “do you wanna…?” you shyly mumble, hoping he’d get the hint.

you sigh of relief when he nods excitedly, immediately leaning forward to take your lips into a kiss. without disconnecting the kiss, you both shimmied back so you would be resting against the pillows and he would be on top of you.

you tug on his shirt, which makes him quickly discard it somewhere on your bedroom floor, along with his jeans. he helps you get out of your pants and shirt, but he doesn’t get the chance to admire you when you put your arm around yourself, feeling super exposed.

“we don’t have to if you don’t want to.” he reminds you.

“no i want to.” you take a deep breath and then sit up, unhooking your bra and tossing it next to the other discarded clothing items. you frown at the sight of your panties, wishing you were wearing something sexier other than a purple one with a navy blue bow and lace on the hem, but it was too late to change.

“you’re so beautiful.” james sucks in a deep breath as he takes in the sight of you and all your naked glory. he leans down to connect your lips in a sloppy kiss, kissing down your jaw, neck, and eventually your breasts.

he takes off your underwear, rubbing the sides of your upper thighs when you’re finally fully undressed. he strokes himself a couple of times before lining his tip with your heat.

“you ready?” he asks and you confirm by nodding your head, bracing your arms on his shoulders. he slowly inserts himself inside of you, wincing at the faces your making. you feel him stretching you out, more pain then pleasure but when he starts to kiss your cheeks and lips, the pain sort of fades away.

“tell me when i can move.” he says wanting you to take your time. when most of the pain settles, you nod your head, giving him the okay to start moving. he starts to thrust inside of you, the pace slow, speeding up only when you’re okay with it.

“you’re so tight.” he shuts his eyes, eyebrows fusing together as his mouth forms an ‘o’ shape, letting out a breathy moan. “feels so good.” he whimpers

he starts to hit that sweet spot inside of you, making you squirm and clench around him repeatedly. his head drops against you shoulder, biting his lips to keep him from screaming, but you can still hear his sweet moans and cries.

“james, i think i’m gonna…oh god.” you cry as you orgasm, clenching around james as he stills inside of you when you try to close your legs.

with the new added slick between your legs from your cum and the faces and pretty little moans, this tipped james over the edge, cumming along with you as he mutters curse words under his breath. once you both settle down, he pulls out of you, making you wince from the sudden emptiness.

“are you okay?” he asks, swiping away the hair that got stuck to your forehead so he could place a kiss.

“uh huh,” is all you could mutter, snuggling close to his chest. “are you?”

“never been better.” he beams, loving the feeling of you being settled against him.

tell me why i wrote a whole ass novel??

#james hetfield #metallica #james hetfield smut #metallica smut #james hetfield fanfic #james hetfield metallica #james hetfield x reader #asks and replies

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3terna15unshin3 · 1 year

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Touch

Who will be the first to break?

2704 words

warnings: !! 18+ !! smut, mutual masturbation, unprotected sex, very minimal editing (sorry)

—

a/n: Not requested but last time i posted smut y’all really liked it lmfao😭😭 I also felt sufficiently inspired to write a mutual masturbation tbsg blurb bc of tdab pt 2 by the iconic @lottiecrabie and also this fic that i love by @wrongendofurcigarette <33333 thank u for the inspo besties ok anyway hope u enjoy love u bye xo

(I wrote an entire 15 chapter fic of this universe! Read it here)

—

Matty was supposed to touch down on the tarmac around half nine. But as a symbol of his amazing luck, weather delays held him back and Este sat at home, impatiently waiting and jittering with anticipation. It was almost eleven in the evening and he still hadn’t arrived.

The months he’d been gone inched slowly by, and she only felt herself missing him more the closer his return date approached. Este started to feel like the floors of their home were colder in his absence. Like the lights were either too dim that she had to squint or too bright that it made her head throb. But sulking about it didn’t help—so she busied herself to make time go by faster.

She went on runs with Keiko. Wrote her weekly pieces twice as fast. Read double the amount of novels. Dipped her right hand into her knickers and thought about Matty. Sometimes alone, and sometimes with his virtual company; always hearing him whine about how much better Este felt around him in comparison to his fist.

There was usually food ready to satisfy his hungry post-flight state, but because of the late hour, he insisted that Este shouldn’t bother. He didn’t want to waste time eating. If I get hungry then I’ll just eat her, thought Matty during his Uber home.

She was on the brink of falling asleep when Matty sent her a message to let her know that he would pull up at any second. Her body sprung up and ran to wait in the doorway before she could even process the words. There were butterflies pounding at her chest purely at the way the approaching headlights hit the pavement. She leaned on the doorframe and attempted to appear cool and collected. Then, an idea came to mind.

He pretty much tackled Este into an embrace when he finally walked up. They waddled into the house and breathed in each other’s scents. “Hi baby,” Matty whispered, pulling his face away to bring her lips to his.

But, only millimetres before they could graze, Este inched away. She had on a mischievous smirk instead, letting Matty feel her hot breath on his skin as she exhaled.

Worry grew in his mind. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing at all, love,” Este shook her head, backing away even more to grab the bags his hands gripped to bring them to their bedroom. A smirk still sat on her lips as he cluelessly followed behind her confident steps. “I was just thinking about how long it’s been since you’ve touched me.”

His throat immediately dried up as he caught on to what she was doing. Este knew they were both desperate for one thing—but wanted him to prove how bad he wanted it.

“Yeah, fuck. It’s been ages. So let me,” Matty begged, reaching to caress her jaw. She was quick to dodge.

“But don’t you ever wonder how long we can make it? Before we break?”

Este’s hips swayed back and forth purposefully as she took the claw clip that sat on her bedside table. In a few swift manoeuvres, she threw her dark hair up and secured it there. He watched her hands work meticulously and adored the way the shorter wavy pieces fell out of the clip and dangled next to her face. What he didn’t adore was that he could now see so much of her neck, and that she surely wouldn’t let him kiss it.

“What are you doing?” He asked gingerly.

It was a rhetorical question. You know exactly what I’m doing, thought Este.

“Posing a question, ‘s all.” She answered, walking back around the bed to exit their room and head to the kitchen. Matty followed, of course.

Their feet padded down the stairs. “Don’t do this to me, E. Please,” he finally vocalised.

It took everything in her to leave him hanging for the couple of seconds it took to fetch the bottle of red she’d been saving. She uncorked it and took a swig, repressing the want (more like need) to pounce onto him like a cat.

“First one to touch loses.”

"Fine. Game on."

—

They brought the bottle of wine over to the sofa and took turns sipping it. To not be as tempted, they even sat on opposite ends. Out of reach.

It wasn’t until then that Matty realised she was wearing a pair of his boxers as shorts. She had to roll over the waistband a couple of times to stop them from falling off her hips, but they still fit loosely. The way Este was scrunched up—clearly trying to make herself comfortable within the couch cushions—made the boxers tug lower. Matty peered at the skin low on her hips and made the assumption that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath. God. If he yanked them down her thighs there would be nothing between him and her cunt.

He adjusted his pants, growing hard at the thought. Not a great way to play if he wanted to win.

Este was just as hot and bothered as him, but was just a bit better at hiding it. She stared at his hand that gripped the remote, flicking through the options on Netflix mindlessly (though he couldn’t care less about what was on the telly). The veins on the back of his hand flexed, and Este’s eyes watched. She then trailed them upwards on his arm and took note of how sculpted they were. Had they always been that big? she thought. Bloody hell.

As if on perfect cue, Matty scooched himself lower, now almost fully on his back to relax. He threw an arm up and behind his head, hand cradling the back of his neck. The action flicked the bottom hem of his t-shirt upwards, forcing the ink on his skin to be exposed to the air. His hips rose and wiggled back and forth before he sealed the comfy action with a quick yawn. Of course he chose to do it while he saw Este’s head turned to him instead of the television, feeling the burn of her gaze. Any other day, she’d be on his lap in seconds.

Her breathing quickened. It was a bit embarrassing that something so simple could drive her insane—so she briefly used her hands to cover her reddening face. Holding out as a strategy clearly wasn’t going well. So, Este thought of what might speed things up.

“Gonna go for a wee. You know what wine does to me,” she suddenly announced, getting up and running to the toilet. Sure, she really did have to go. But once she finished, she decided to leave the boxers on the bathroom floor instead of pulling them back on.

Walking back into Matty’s line of sight, now only clothed with a black baby tee that hugged her torso and nothing on her bottom half, Este stopped in front of him to bend down and grab the bottle of wine that sat on the coffee table. She turned around to face him and locked her eyes with his as she took a swig.

His mouth fell open for the few seconds he maintained the eye contact, but soon let his focus fall down her body, ultimately stopping at her bare pussy. He watched the space below her belly button expand and contract as she slowly breathed in and out. He even saw her thighs clench together. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, he thought. This is torture.

“My eyes are up here,” commented Este playfully, breaking the trance he was clearly stuck in, and then returning to her corner of the sofa.

“Fuck off,” Matty confidently responded with a scoff, though she could tell from the small smile of defeat on his face that she’d caught him off guard. “Didn’t have the balls to leave the shirt behind too, huh? Only my boxers?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Oh, do you want it gone? In that case—”

Matty then watched the small black article of clothing hit the floor, leaving Este completely nude & no more than a metre out of his reach. The same Este he hadn’t touched in nine weeks.

A smug look stared back at him as he thought of ways to one-up her. He couldn’t just copy and strip, like her. It had to be something more. So, he reached into his pants—still looking at her in the eye—pulling his cock out. Why beat around the bush? It was already red and hard, begging to be touched. And since he couldn’t touch her, he touched himself instead.

Este refused to look away. She couldn’t. Her brown eyes were locked onto his fist that tugged slowly up and down his length. Subconsciously, she swiped her bottom lip with her tongue.

“Look at you, licking your lips. Wishing it was your mouth,” taunted Matty, “You don’t even want me to touch you. You want to touch me, baby. You love it when I fuck your face.”

He watched her writhe and sigh in dissatisfaction, seeing that Este knew he was right. Her hand inched down to her throbbing and exposed clit, finally daring to apply some pressure and whining in relief.

“You’ve got quite the ego on yourself, Healy,” she squeaked, trying not to moan at her fingers circling her clit with haste. “You’ll be begging to cum in my mouth. Touch me first and maybe I’ll let you.”

Matty’s hips bucked upwards as he matched the speed of his pumps to that of Este’s hand against herself. “Fuck, you’re killing me,” he moaned, closing his eyes in pleasure and fantasy.

Waiting until she saw his stare reconnect with hers, Este teased her fingertips south to her entrance. It was slick with wetness and desperate to be filled. Siding two fingers in, her jaw dropped open, and her hips rocked upwards to feel them deeper. A gasp escaped her lips. She let out a shaky groan when they bottomed out and yearned for them to be Matty’s instead.

“Mine don’t fill me up the way yours do.”

The sounds of both her fingers moving in and out of her cunt and him fucking his fist radiated throughout the room, overtaking whatever Netflix show Matty settled on. Both moving in sync.

“Come over here and sit on me, then. I can fuck you better than that,” he coerced.

Watching through his half-shut eyelids, he thought, I bet her wrist is tired. She’ll give in soon. But by then it was less of a thought and more of a prayer.

“But that would mean you’d win,” Este pointed out the obvious. “And I can’t let that happen.”

He rolled his eyes. “Turn to me, E. I need to see more of you,” commanded Matty.

She listened and pivoted, spreading her thighs even further. She arched her back off of the sofa when her fingers grazed a certain spot, making her hold back what she knew would have been Matty’s name slipping past her lips. Her thumb rubbed furiously at her clit simultaneously. Surely he’ll touch me if I come, considered Este, chasing her high.

His lip was pinned between his teeth as he continued watching her. Her sopping pussy was in full view, making Matty think of what it felt like around him. The way she’d clench her walls just before he was about to cum and how it would always get him there faster. How easily he could make that familiar sensation a reality if he’d just give in.

Studying Este’s chest, where her other hand sat and fiddled with her hard nipples, Matty saw how quickly it heaved up and down. Her breaths were laboured. A layer of sweat glistened on her forehead and her gaze struggled to pin onto him. She’s close, he discovered.

“You’re almost there, darling. I know that arm of yours is tired. I’d have you cumming in seconds if you just come over and let me win,” he whispered desperately.

Este moaned at his words, speeding up her fingers. “So are you,” she pointed out, “and if you cum in your—fuck, Matty—if you cum in your hand, you won’t get to cum inside me.”

She made a good point. He sped up to match her, thrusting his hips up to meet his hand faster.

“Then come here and sit on me,” whined Matty, still not giving in, frustrating Este. Resentment for her silly game grew. If he wouldn’t let her win now, she had to do more. The visual wasn’t enough. She had to beg for it. Literally.

“Please, baby! I feel so fucking empty. I need you to fuck me now. Riding you won’t be enough. I need you to come over here and hold me down and fuck me—shit! Rail me so hard that we forget our own names. Need to feel you deeper than I ever have. Do whatever you want to me, please, Matty. I’ll do anything—”

Her voice pushed him over the edge. He didn't care about the stupid game anymore.

He wasn’t sure if he’d ever moved so fast in his life; climbing over to Este’s side of the sofa. She gasped when she felt Matty’s hands grip her hips to pull her closer, not giving her any time to adjust before sinking himself into her cunt.

They groaned in unison, the feeling they were chasing hit them even harder after the painstaking period of forbidden touch. She felt every inch of him against her walls, pressing a hand into her lower stomach to feel him there too.

“Is this what you wanted?” he intensely spat at her, beginning to pound into her with no avail.

Matty’s hips slammed together with hers over and over, lighting the fire in Este’s core. Her mind went hazy with pleasure and she struggled to even answer him. Her jaw was stuck agape and the only things he could hear out of her were frenzied and pornographic moans.

“Yes, fuck, yes. Don’t stop, I’m gonna cum,” she cried.

He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he felt his climax approach too. But he couldn’t keep them shut for long, as he craved the sight of her beneath him, still tirelessly swiping at her clit. Her breasts bounced up and down at the force of Matty’s hips, which now buckled with a messy rhythm. The hair that stuck to her wet forehead was swiped away by a finger of his, getting it out of the way, needing the full view of Este’s face.

“Cum for me, E. I thought about this every night when I was gone. Couldn’t hold back any longer—fuck—you win. This pussy is mine. So perfect for me,” Matty egged.

Este let go and the notorious clench of her walls pushed him to do the same. The warmth deep inside her signalled that Matty had shot his hot seed into her, groaning and worshipping her name as he did. She reached up to yank on his curls and saw stars for a moment, the pure euphoria carrying her high in pleasure like she’d never seen before. He gave her exactly what she’d been needing, those nights alone. Nobody could fuck her like him.

Her stomach immediately felt like jello in the aftershock of her orgasm. They both panted into each other's mouths, slick with sweat, giddy smiles on their faces. Matty’s arms gave out, laying on top of her gently, still twitching inside of her. He didn’t have an ounce of extra energy to pull out. Not that he really wanted to, anyway.

“What’s my prize?” Este asked, throat rough from the screaming she’d just done.

Matty glanced at the TV, where the time was displayed. 00:28. They hadn’t even lasted half an hour at her ‘game’.

“I reckon I can make you cum three more times before we fall asleep?” he suggested.

“Deal,” she agreed, “Or you can fuck my face like you mentioned. Up to you,” finished Este with a giggle.

His eyes widened in shock, hiding his face in her neck as they both laughed.

“Might need a bit of time to, you know, recharge before we get to that. But I am not passing up on that offer.”

#tbsg #meste blurb #the 1975 #matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy x oc #the 1975 fanfiction #matty healy fic #smut #matty healy smut #blurb

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ro-is-struggling · 1 year

Note

Can I pretty please request 6 with sirius black and perhaps slytherin! Reader?

Hi beautiful💜 Thank you so much for participating in the celebration and I'm sorry it took me so long to post your request!

This is so long for no reason I’m sorry!! I got soooo carried away I didn’t realize I wrote a fucking novel until it was to late lol But I really enjoyed wrtiring this one even tho it took forever and it was a pain in the ass to edit lol, I had a lot of fun so I hope you like it too

Dating 101 || Sirius Black x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: You and Sirius are not the best of friends, but you end up going to him in desperate need of help to get the attention of the guy you've liked for years but don't seem to be able to talk to. He agrees to help you and for the next few weeks you spend time together, getting to know each other better as he teaches you everything he knows about the dating world. The more time you spend together, the more you realize that Sirius is not the arrogant jerk you thought he was, which leads to confused feelings and doubts about who is the one who truly owns your heart.

Warnings: slow burn, rivals to lovers, attempt at humor, reader being awkward, fluff, a little angst kinda

English is not my first language

Word count: 16.700

This fic is part of my 600 followers celeration

You couldn't believe what you were about to do, your brain screaming at you to stop. You felt sick at the thought of turning to Sirius for help, but you truly had no other choice. You had avoided this as much as you could, but your situation couldn't go on like this, not if you wanted to get your crush to look at you at some point. You weren't a big fan of Sirius —you found that he could be annoying and arrogant at times—, but you couldn't deny that he knew all about the dating world. He was confident and was able to get the attention of anyone he wanted just by giving them a smile. You couldn't understand how he did it —how could anyone be so charming?—, but you couldn't argue with the hard evidence. Sirius was a master at the art of dating and you needed his help.

You felt a bit silly going to him for help with something like this. You weren't necessarily friends, more like frenemies. You usually argued and competed for points for your respective houses-Sirius for Gryffindor, you for Slytherin-you were both very good students and found your fights stimulating, but you also knew how to work together when necessary. You didn't hate each other, it was just that your personalities clashed easily and you both had a predilection for annoying the other to the point of madness.

"I need your help with something, Black." You announced when you found him at the Gryffindor table in the Great Dining Hall. He was with his friends, laughing as they plotted who knows what, but you didn't care. You needed to talk to him and you needed to do it now. "Can we talk... in private?" You added as you noticed James, Peter and Remus' curious glances at you.

Sirius looked at you with a raised eyebrow, noticing a hint of discomfort in your action. You were fidgeting, your fingers lightly tapping the edges of the book you held in your hands as you moved your feet constantly, shifting your body weight from one to the other every couple of seconds. Something was bothering you and for some reason you had gone to him of all people. Sirius didn't need to ask you any more questions to follow you into the hallway, too intrigued by what you had to say.

“What’s up, Y/LN?” He asked you when he saw the doubt in your expression, opening and closing your mouth a couple of times without making a sound. He had to admit that your behavior kept poking his curiosity to the point that he was willing to say yes to anything you asked as long as you told him something.

"I need your help," you mumbled as you searched for the right words to explain your situation. Your brain was screaming at you to shut your mouth, sure that Sirius would do nothing but make fun of you, but you had no other options left so that was a risk you would have to take.

"You said that already," he pointed out. "What do you need my help for?"

"I need you to help me get a guy's attention. I know you're really good at this stuff and I thought maybe you could help me out." You spoke quickly, the words running over each other and making the sentence almost unintelligible. It took Sirius a few seconds to understand what you had said, but when he did a cocky smile formed on his face.

“Really?” You regretted asking for his help as soon as you heard the amused tone in his voice. He was definitely enjoying this, it wasn't every day that you were so vulnerable in front of him. He would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy listening to you compliment his abilities in the love department. For the first time you were admitting that he was better than you at something without putting up a fight.

"Forget it." You turned to walk away convinced that you had made a mistake in trusting someone like Sirius with your problem. You barely made it two steps before you felt his hand close around your arm to stop you.

"Nonono wait! I wanna help." He was quick to say before you got too far away. "What's your problem?" You remained silent for a moment, watching his face to make sure he wasn't messing with you. You weren't in the mood to put up with his teasing and this topic was too sensitive for you. If he wasn't willing to genuinely give you his help then you would have to leave.

However, you found nothing in his expression that made you suspect that he had bad intentions, so you told him your situation. You told him how much you liked this Oliver guy and how incredibly stupid you became whenever he was around. You had a crush on him for the past two years and even though you were from the same house and shared almost every class, you had never been able to exchange more than two words with him. And it was always embarrassing. All he had to do was look in your direction and you completely lost your cognitive abilities, becoming a nervous mess who couldn't utter more than two words without stuttering.

After all this time you had almost gotten used to making a fool of yourself in front of Oliver, it was a constant part of your day to day life so you had stopped worrying about it the way you used to. You held out hope that you could get better with time, gather the confidence and courage to face your feelings and have a normal conversation with him at least once. However, all your hopes were shattered after the embarrassing moment you experienced this morning.

The Potions class had dragged on a bit so by the time you were finally able to leave the classroom everyone was running late for their next classes. Everybody rushed through the halls and in the confusion of people Oliver bumped into you, causing your books to fall to the floor. Like the gentleman he was, he bent down with you to pick them up and your fingers brushed as he handed them back to you, causing the skin on your hand to tingle. He smiled at you and apologized for hitting you, but your brain, overwhelmed by the contact and proximity, wouldn't allow you to do anything but mumble incoherently. When you noticed the confusion on his face you knew it was time to run, so you grabbed your books and ran down the hallway, bumping into a couple of students on the way.

“Wow! You suck!” Sirius laughed at your misery. He had a hard time imagining you as someone so shy and awkward given that with him you were Miss I-Know-It-All. Sirius always saw you as a confident and self-assured girl, ready to take the world by storm if it got in the way of your goals.

"I know!" you admitted with a tone of frustration, hiding your face in your hands. You didn't see the point in lying to Sirius, your pride was already crushed from the moment you decided to go to him. "That's why I need your help!"

"Okay, I'll help you, but what's in it for me?" The way he was looking at you, with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile on his face, made you suspicious of his intentions. What was he getting at? " What's in it for me if I help you, something that, let me remind you, I have absolutely no need to do?"

"My eternal gratitude?"

"Oh, it has to be something better than that! You're asking for a lot here, do you have any idea of how much work it's gonna take me to fix your awkwardness?" You knew he was joking for the most part and you were aware that there was a lot of truth behind his words —you were pretty much a lost case—, but it still hurt a little to hear him say that. You weren't used to taking his words without putting up a fight, but you knew that wouldn't get you anywhere. It was time to swallow your pride and listen to Sirius no matter how ridiculous and annoying it sounded.

"Then what do you want?" You asked him, letting out a frustrated sigh, crossing your arms in front of your chest in a defiant stance. You had no time for his games and you were pretty much willing to do anything for his help. "Name your price."

Sirius took a moment to think, but there was something in his expression that suggested to you that he already knew exactly what he wanted from you.

"Fine I'll do it, but only if you help me with my Herbology assignment." He stated after a few seconds of silence. You looked at him in surprise, doubting for a moment if you had heard correctly. For some reason you were expecting something more terrible, like him using you to make a prank against your own house or having you as a servant for a week, you know, something that felt more like a punishment than anything else.

"Really? That's it?" It was a reflex caused by surprise that you couldn't help but blurt out. You were more than happy with his terms, helping him in Herbology was something you could do with ease.

"No, now that I think about it I also want you to declare to everyone that I'm better than you in everything, but we can work on that."

And there was the Sirius you knew. You shook your head in disapproval, but couldn't contain the giggle that escaped your lips. He was an idiot, but a funny idiot.

"Fine! We have a deal?" You asked, holding out your hand for him to shake. He looked at you for a moment before taking your hand, closing his fingers over it in a firm grip.

"We have a deal."

Sirius refused to tell you what he had planned for his first lesson —his words, not yours. No matter how hard you pressed him for a clue, he kept his mouth shut. He told you it was best that you didn't know more than the day and time he wanted to meet with you to discuss your situation, so you had to spend the week between the stress of homework and exams and the nerves Sirius aroused in you with all the secrecy.

But finally, after so much suffering and uncertainty, Saturday came. You usually took advantage of the weekend to do your homework or spend time with your friends, but not this time. From the moment you woke up you spent the day counting down the hours until you could meet Sirius. You weren't even surprised that he took his role comically seriously, walking around you while talking as if he was a teacher and you were his only student. He even made exaggerated gestures, mixing several of your teachers into one personality. He only needed a board to write nonsense on and the character would be complete. You didn't mind that he found a way to joke in the middle of it all, you figured that was better than literally anything else he could come up with.

"Today's lesson is about confidence." Sirius announced firmly, looking down at you as if you were an innocent little girl and he was an experienced adult who had all the answers to your questions. And in a way he was, so you closed your mouth and listened to what he had to say. "If you want to ask this guy out then first you have to be able to be able to talk to him. And for that you have to be confident in yourself and your abilities. That's really the most important part of all. Confidence can get you far in life."

You knew very well that what he said was true, but it was much easier said than done. You were a confident girl in general, sure of your ideas and unafraid to communicate them. In any other area of life you had no problem making yourself heard, but when it came to love your brain stopped working. It was the one thing your brain couldn't master, the one thing that didn't seem to make sense and therefore was impossible to study. The world and everything you knew about it stopped making sense when Oliver got close to you. Your brain would fry when he smiled, overwhelmed by the perfection of his face, and suddenly forget how to function properly, making your strong and special personality get lost in a bunch of incoherent babbling.

“That’s easier said than done,” you complained, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but everytime Oliver looks at me I get all stupid and suddenly I forget how to speak.”

“You’re insecure because you lack experience in the matter, that’s completely normal.” You frowned at the confidence in Sirius' voice, but after contemplating his words for a few seconds you realized he was right. How he had been able to figure it out so quickly, you didn't know.

“That… actually makes sense. What do you think I should do?”

“Easy! You need to practice.” He said as if it were obvious, dropping down next to you.

“Practice?”

“Yep, right here, right now. Show me what you’ve got.”

“S-show you what I’ve got?” you repeated in a whisper, unsure how to proceed. You didn't have any lines if that's what he meant. You didn't usually walk around school thinking about which boy's attention you wanted to attract that day, so you didn't have a list of stupid, cheesy icebreaker phrases like you knew he had.

"Just pretend that I'm him. You have me sitting next to you, what's your line?" Sirius' eyes were glued to yours, looking at you expectantly. It made you nervous, so naturally, you made nothing but a fool of yourself when you opened your mouth.

"Hey there... you..." you hesitantly mumble, cringing at yourself. You wanted to slap yourself for being so pathetic. What was wrong with you? You were so much better than this, why was it impossible for you to sound like a normal person when it came to a guy? "I'm sorry, this isn't working. I'm not usually the one that initiates the conversations. Also when I look at you I just see you, so this is dumb."

You hid your face in your hands to avoid meeting Sirius' mocking gaze. You knew he was probably getting a kick out of your suffering and stupidity, although you were thankful he didn't make it so obvious. You wanted to run out of there, hide under your sheets and never be noticed again by any other human being. There was no hope for you, you were convinced of it. You were too pathetic and you would die alone because of it.

"Fine, let's try a different approach." Sirius sounded too optimistic for someone who had seen you make a fool of yourself like that. "You see that guy over there," he said, forcing you to take your hands away from your face so you could see the boy he was pointing at. When you nodded, he continued. "I want you to get over there and flirt with him."

You let out a long laugh that died as soon as you noticed the seriousness on Sirius' face. "Wait, seriously?" He nodded with a smile and you felt your stomach start to twist with nerves.

"Look, talking to Oliver scares you, right? The only way to get over it is to face it right here, right now. So I want you to go there and talk to that guy."

"And say what?" You panicked, your voice a couple of notes higher than normal. You didn't even know the guy Sirius wanted you to flirt with, which guaranteed not only that things would go horribly wrong but also that you would be humiliated in front of a complete stranger. Great! That was exactly what you needed at that moment. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I can barely talk to you. what am I supposed to say to this guy?”

“I don’t know, use a dumb line like…” Sirius took a few seconds to think, though you wished he had never opened his mouth again. "Hey, I could tell from across the room we might be into each other, now that I'm here I know it, your move." The exaggeratedly feminine voice he made as he recited the worst line you'd ever heard in your life did nothing to ease your urge to hit him. There was no way you were going to say that to a complete stranger. No, you refused.

"I'm sorry, have you met me? I couldn't get through three words of that."

"Fine! Walk over there and say hey there."

"Hey there?" You tried to protest, but he cut you off, pushing you to get up.

"C'mon, up, up!" you resisted his pushes, but Sirius was much stronger than you and eventually won you over.

You took several deep breaths before you decided to take the first step towards that mysterious boy who was so calmly reading a book sitting on a bench in the hallway overlooking the courtyard. You walked as slowly as possible without looking weird, turning every two seconds to look at Sirius hoping he would take pity on you and let you go back to your place. However, he just smiled at you, giving you the thumbs up in a gesture of encouragement and making you hate him just a little bit.

You sat on the unoccupied end of the bench, making yourself as small as possible to try to go unnoticed. It didn't make much sense since you were supposed to talk to him, but first you needed a moment to calm your nerves.

C'mon, you can do this!' the voice of bravery in your mind tried to encourage you. 'It's just a guy! The sooner you talk to him, the sooner you can get this over with.'

You tried to summon your inner Sirius and, letting out a sigh, you turned to look at the boy who was still concentrating on the book in his hands. "Hey there!" Your voice sounded smaller and more pathetic than you meant it to, but it managed to get the boy's attention.

"Hi," he said, slightly confused. A few seconds of awkward silence ensued as your brain struggled to function, thinking of the best way to continue the conversation.

"What are you reading there?" Without saying anything, the boy closed the book in his hands to show you the cover, giving you time to read the title. It was an old book from the library on the history of the magical world. "Ah, I see. Homework or pleasure?" You didn't know why you were so interested in the book he was reading, it didn't even matter for what you were supposed to be doing, but at least it was a topic of conversation. It was either that or a deep uncomfortable silence until one of you got tired and left.

"I'm doing some research for an essay," he explained as if it were obvious. What teenager would spend a weekend reading a history book for pleasure?

“Oh, about what? Cause I’m really good at History and I-”

“I’m sorry but I’m kinda busy,” he interrupted you before you could continue with your ramblings that were going nowhere. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Oh no, sorry!" you were quick to apologize, feeling the blood from all over your body pooling in your cheeks. Embarrassed, you turned your gaze away from the boy looking for anything else to focus on so you wouldn't have to face your humiliation. Your eyes met Sirius, who gave you a smile. On his lips you read words of encouragement, so you took another deep breath and returned your attention to the boy sitting next to you. "Actually... I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out with me sometime?"

An awkward silence formed and lasted a few seconds. The boy's eyes locked on you, but you couldn't hold his gaze as you waited for an answer. Your eyes searched Sirius once again for comfort and that's when you heard the laughter.

"That was good! Did Sirius put you up to this?" the boy laughed, humiliating you a little more with each chuckle. Of course he thought it was a joke!

"You got me!" you blurted out with a fake laugh, throwing your hands up in the air in defeat. "He dared me to come over and talk to you. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

The boy said something else, but you didn't hear him since you were already running back to Sirius. You felt humiliated and dejected. Not only had you made a fool of yourself, but it had all been for nothing. That experience hadn't taught you anything you didn't already know —that you were awkward and weird and that you would die alone because of your lack of flirting skills.

"See, that wasn't so bad!" Sirius encouraged you as you sat back down next to him. "You got him to laugh!"

"That was humiliating and I hate you."

"Well too bad because now I want you to talk to fifteen guys."

"What? No, forget it!" Sirius was crazy if he thought you were willing to do that again. You'd been humiliated enough for one day, you wanted to go to sleep now.

"Oh my sweet, innocent little bug." Sirius said in an almost condescending tone, putting his arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to him. You scrunched up your nose at the strange nickname he had chosen for you, trying to decide if you hated it or thought it was funny. "Confidence takes work. You can't just talk to one guy and expect everything to magically change. You need to work for it, take a few hits, learn that a negative response it's not the end of the world and it doesn't define who you are or your value as a person."

"It's easy for you to say! All you have to do is smile and every girl in school throw themselves at you."

"That's because I already put in the work, silly." He bumped your nose with his finger and you rolled your eyes, pushing him to break free from his embrace. Suddenly you weren't in the mood for his bullshit. "So now I want you to do the same. Go get them!"

Letting out a grunt, you got up and set off down the corridors of Hogwarts in search of boys who were isolated enough to give you some privacy while you made a fool of yourself —the last thing you wanted was to be the laughing stock of the whole school. And as you walked along you couldn't help but think that maybe asking Sirius for help hadn't been as great an idea as you had initially thought.

“How exactly do you kill two mandrakes in a row?” Was your answer when Sirius told you the reason why he needed your help in Herbology. As part of the practical exam for the OWLs, Sirius had to tend a mandrake plant until it was fully ripe and then present it to the professor. It was not an easy task —mandrakes, like humans, were complicated beings—, but not impossible either. Sirius was a very skilled wizard and you believed that someone like him would have no problem with such a task. But apparently you were wrong, because according to what he had told you it was the second time the plant withered and died before it developed squeaky roots similar to a very ugly human baby.

"I don't know! That's why I'm asking for your help." He shrugged, opening the greenhouse door and stepping aside to let you pass. You found his response suspicious, it was hard to believe that someone like Sirius couldn't take care of a simple mandrake, but you didn't say anything about it. Instead, you let him lead you over to where his pot rested. "What am I doing wrong?"

“Well, have you been watering it enough?” was your first question when you noticed that the soil in the pot looked a little dry. You motioned for him to hand you the watering can and you took it upon yourself to hydrate the poor plant. "You need to check on it regularly. Mandrakes are very similar to us, they need love and attention to grow strong and healthy."

"I'm not going to treat this thing like it's my baby or something." Sirius complained, leaning back on the table as he watched you analyzing the state of the plant. He had to admit that the light reflected off the greenhouse in a unique way, giving you a different aura. You were glowing in a special way that Saturday morning and he couldn't help but wonder what was causing it.

"You'll have to do it if you want to pass the exam." Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, bringing him back to reality. "But don't worry, I'll help you. We'll co-parent this thing." You both shared a laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, but Sirius would be lying if he said that the idea of spending more time with you disgusted him. He didn't quite know what was happening to him, but lately he didn't find you as annoying and insufferable as usual. Maybe it was because you weren't looking to argue with him every five minutes, or the fact that he had gotten to know a different side of you, but he found himself enjoying the time you spent together. It was fun to joke with you without starting a war.

You spent the next hour talking about mandrakes and you gave Sirius a couple of tips on how to keep it alive. You ended up setting up a schedule for him, marking the times when he had to visit to water it and when to move it to get the exact amount of sunlight it needed to grow strong. If he followed your advice, the mandrake would reach its squeaky baby stage in a couple of weeks. You promised to help him dig it up and repot it as it grew, but assured him that the daily care would fall to him so you could make sure he was learning something —after all, you didn't want to help him pass his OWL Herbology exam by cheating.

You parted ways when lunchtime arrived, each of you going to the table of your respective houses to eat with your friends. However, Sirius approached you again a couple of hours later while you were waiting with the other students to go on the Hogsmeade trip.

"Ready for your next lesson?" he said as he put his arm around your shoulders. It took you by surprise since in all the time you had shared in the morning he hadn't mentioned anything about having your next lesson.

"Already?" you asked, remembering that it had only been a week since your disastrous first lesson. Well, it hadn't been so bad after all. Sure, you had spent the afternoon humiliating yourself, talking nonsense to the first guy who crossed your path, but in the end you had managed to get a positive response from one. The small victory had made you feel good, but you still needed some more time to recover.

"Well, you were really helpful this morning so I wanted to do something in return."

"Is it going to take long? Cause I wanted to go out with the girls."

"Just give me an hour, then you're free to go." You looked at him with hesitation in your eyes, the ghost of their last encounter haunting you. If his next lesson was going to be as terrible as the first you weren't sure you were ready, you needed time to prepare your mind for the humiliation. "C'mon, you're going to like this one." Sirius insisted with a smile and you ended up giving in to his charms.

This time you kept your questions to yourself about what you'd do to yourself, knowing that Sirius wasn't going to give you a clue. You walked around Hogsmeade by his side, making casual small talk and laughing at his jokes as if you were lifelong best friends. However when you arrived at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop you couldn't help but ask him what were you doing there.

"The second lesson is going to be about the date itself and how to create the proper atmosphere." Sirius explained as he led you to one of the overly decorated tables. "If you want the date to end with you guys making out, you have to think ahead." You wrinkled your nose at his choice of words, but didn't mention anything about it.

"What do you in your infinite wisdom advise me to do?" you joked as you settled back in your seat. You stayed silent for a moment as you were served your tea, before returning to your conversation.

"Close proximity is very important if you want to create an intimate moment." Sirius declared as he took a sip of his tea. "No one is making out if they're three feet apart, so no matter where you have the date, you have to make sure you're close to each other." You listened to him speak attentively, trying hard to retain the information he was giving you as if you were studying for an exam.

“Being close, got it.” You repeated nodding your head, making a mental list of his advice that you hoped you wouldn't forget by the time you returned to school.

"If you come here for your date, you have to make sure you don't sit across from each other. Instead, move your chair a little closer to his, like this." Sirius slid his chair until it was almost next to yours so you were nestled against one side of the round table full of corny decorations. You could feel the warmth his body radiated caressing your skin. It made you nervous, though you didn't quite know why. You supposed it was because you weren't used to being so close to a guy —especially him— in a place that looked so romantic.

"See, this is better for flirting, accidental touching and making out." His voice had turned into a soft whisper, leaning toward you so he could speak in your ear. His breath collided against your neck with each word that left his lips, giving you goosebumps. The blood rushed to your cheeks from embarrassment, making your face feel on fire.

When you dared to look up, your eyes met Sirius's deep gray eyes admiring your face. It was the first time you were so close to him, you could clearly note every detail of his face, every glint in his cold gray orbs. Suddenly you understood all the girls at Hogwarts who sighed lovingly every time they saw him passing through the school halls. He had a singular beauty that came completely naturally to him, effortlessly. It was hard to look away from his perfect features and captivating eyes, even though you felt small and self-conscious under his intense gaze.

Sirius' eyes trailed down your face, lingering over your lips for a fraction of a second. It was almost imperceptible, but you noticed it, just as you noticed the arrogant little smile that formed at the corner of his lips. The air caught in your throat as you felt the room grow smaller, trapping you with him, forcing you to be close to him. And when his fingers brushed the exposed skin of your knee you couldn't help but let out a shriek of surprise, jumping in your seat to get away from him.

Sirius laughed as you struggled to compose yourself, breathing deeply to calm the wild pounding of your heart, repeating in your mind that the tingling you felt in your knee was just the product of your imagination and meant nothing. "It's not funny, you jerk!" you complained, tapping him on the shoulder to shut him up.

"You say that 'cause you didn't see your face." He laughed and you rolled your eyes. He was an idiot.

"If you don't stop laughing I'll leave and I won't help you with your little Herbology project." You threatened him and that seemed to get his attention.

“Okay, okay!” Sirius exclaimed, raising his hands in the air in surrender. He moved away from you again and that allowed you to breathe easier as you regained your personal space. "So, moving on... How do you set the tone at the date? Lighting matters, okay? The darker it is, the better. It creates a more intimate atmosphere."

"Close proximity, lighting, okay." You repeated, adding more details to your mental list. "What else?"

"Body language! Is he leaning in? Is he sitting close?" Sirius moved closer to you again, exemplifying his words with his actions. Your heart rate spiked once again as you felt the warmth of his body envelop you once more. His hand brushed yours on the table, forcing your gaze back to them. You felt the strange urge to entwine your fingers with his, wondering what it would feel like to hold his hand, but you held back, trying to focus on his words to distract yourself.

"And then it's all about interaction." He continued, as if he didn't know the effect his closeness had on you. "Is he trying to impress you? Does he say complimentary things to you? If yes, chances are he's going to make his move."

"Wow, I had no idea guys like you even thought about this kind of stuff." you said in a sarcastic tone, hoping it would help ease the tension you felt in the air.

"Well, that's because you're mean and you always think the worst of people." he joked and you laughed. He was kind of right. "But it's okay, I forgive you." Sirius put his arm around your shoulders again, pulling you against his body as you laughed and shook your head.

The tension in the air was beginning to dissipate, allowing you to have a good time together without feeling awkward and weird. You shared a couple more laughs before your date was interrupted by the voice of your best friend, who had seen you and Sirius from the store window as she walked through Hogsmeade and couldn't believe her eyes. As far as she knew you hated each other, so why were you hugging while drinking tea at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, a place frequented by couples?

You jumped on your feet at the mention of your name, struggling to think of an excuse that would justify you and Sirius being there. Despite the fact that she was your best friend, you hadn't told her about your little plan to get Oliver's attention. Not only was it humiliating to need help in order to get a date, but it was even more humiliating to have to go to the guy you argued with the most in all of Hogwarts for advice. It wasn't a decision you were proud of and you thought it was better if no one knew about it.

In the end it was Sirius who saved you, telling your friend that you were there with him to honor your part of a bet you had lost. It wasn't the first time you two had bet when arguing about something and most of the time it was the humiliation of the other that was at stake, so your friend bought the lie without asking many questions.

Before leaving Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop to follow your friend, you made sure to thank Sirius for saving you. He smiled at you, downplaying it, though you could swear there was a glint of sadness in his eyes as he looked back at you. You wanted to ask him if everything was alright, finding the sudden change in his mood strange, but before you could open your mouth you were interrupted by your friend's voice hurrying you to leave.

In the end you could only give Sirius an apologetic smile before following your friend and disappearing out the door. But for the rest of the day you continued to think about the events of that afternoon, wondering why you felt so strange when Sirius was around and why you almost wished you could have stayed with him in the tea store for a while longer.

By the time the third lesson came around you were already having doubts about everything. Did it make any sense? Was anything Sirius was telling you really going to do you any good? Did you even want to go out with Oliver?

Wait, what?

Of course you wanted to go out with him! He had been your crush for years and you had done nothing but fantasize about talking to him, admiring him from a distance hoping that he would reciprocate your feelings. He was the only guy you had ever cared about all this time, so of course you wanted to go out with him. You didn't understand where that stupid question had come from.

And then, as if the universe was giving you an answer, you felt the weight of Sirius' arm on your shoulders. As you looked up you met his charming smile, the one that once seemed arrogant and made you roll your eyes in annoyance, but now awakened a strange but comforting warmth inside you. Could it be that he was the reason behind your confusion?

"Ready for your next lesson, dove?" He spoke with his characteristic cheerful and nonchalant tone of voice. He was so casual that you almost missed the new nickname he had decided to use with you on that beautiful Friday afternoon.

"I'm 'dove' now?" you asked, looking at him with a confused frown. It was a little strange, but you'd be lying if you said the nickname didn't awaken something in you, something you couldn't describe or put into words, but it made you feel good.

"Yes, because you're sweet and innocent like a dove." Sirius explained as if it were obvious, shrugging it off. It was clear that it wasn't a big deal to him, just a nickname he found amusing, but you on the other hand were a completely different story. You grew nervous all of a sudden and felt the heat of embarrassment on your cheeks. Never before had a boy used affectionate nicknames like that with you so you didn't really know how to react. So you didn't say anything, you just looked away and cleared your throat, pretending your heart wasn't beating at a dangerously fast pace.

"Don't you think it's a little late for a lesson?" you spoke after a few seconds of silence, watching the sun begin to set on the horizon.

"I tend to work better at night." He winked at you and you nudged him in the ribs, though you couldn't contain a slight chuckle that escaped your lips.

"Fine, what are you going to teach me today?"

For the next few minutes you and Sirius talked about the importance of your date outfit, not so much to impress Oliver, but to make you feel comfortable and confident and thus increase your chances of success on the date. He talked about how everybody has that one piece of clothing that is special and makes them feel like the best version of themselves. For him it was his leather jacket, it was the first piece of clothing he had chosen and bought for himself to piss off his parents who only wanted to see him wear old-fashioned and uncomfortable tunics. It represented his rebellious spirit, his freedom, and so he wore it all the time. It was a reminder of who he was, of everything he had to fight against in order to express his true self, and that's why it made him feel comfortable and confident every time he wore it.

You didn't have anything remotely like that. You felt quite comfortable and liberated when you were alone in your room curled up in your bed wearing your pajamas while reading a book, but you doubted you could wear something like that on a date. You had never been very interested in fashion and accessories, you found that world too overwhelming. You didn't even think you had a favorite style, just a pile of clothes in your closet that you wore hoping they would match.

"We have to change that!" was the answer Sirius gave you when you explained your situation. "Meet me in the third floor corridor after dinner, the one with the statue of the one-eyed witch."

"What?" you asked him with confusion. You hated his cryptic answers, why was it so hard for him to be direct and tell you what was on his mind? "What for?"

“Just trust me on this.”

You had to admit that Sirius wasn't inspiring much trust in you at the moment. Why on earth did he want to meet you so late and why couldn't you do whatever it was he had in mind right now? Why was it so important that it was at night? And what was the deal with the third floor hallway? What was he up to?

None of your questions got an answer because before you could ask them he got up and left, leaving you alone and confused.

You spent the next few hours debating whether it was wise to listen to Sirius or not. Wandering around the castle after dinner was forbidden and while you had broken that rule a couple of times, you never felt right when you did. It gave you too much anxiety and you didn't enjoy sneaking through the corridors looking over your shoulder every second. You weren't exactly a fan of that kind of adrenaline.

That said, you couldn't deny that the idea of wandering around Hogwarts at night with Sirius sounded tempting. He was the king of breaking the rules, so you were sure he had his fair share of tricks to avoid getting caught. Usually you hated the impunity with which he carried himself, walking the halls of the school as if he owned it, unbothered about the consequences of his actions. But now that you knew him a little better you couldn't help but feel a little excited at the idea of being his partner in crime.

Maybe there was some sense in his madness. Maybe he really was funny and you had spent all this time hating him for it because he annoyed you as a person. Since you had started this experiment with him you had done nothing but learn to see the world through his eyes. Every minute you spent together helped you to understand a little better his thoughts and the reasons why he did what he did. You had learned to like him, so why not give him a chance now? Maybe you would finally understand the reason behind his rebelliousness.

So, when you finished dinner you found a way to sneak up to the third floor undetected. You got there first, which gave your brain time to rethink the decision it had made as you paced back and forth nervously. However, when Sirius appeared a couple of minutes later apologizing for the delay all your doubts and fears disappeared.

"I had to make a quick stop to get some things." He explained, pointing to the crumpled piece of fabric he had hanging from one arm and the scrap of parchment he was holding in his hand.

"Are you finally going to tell me what the hell are we doing here?" You asked, crossing your arms. "If this is a prank I swear to Merlin-"

“I would never, dove.” Sirius interrupted you, awakening that strange warmth inside you once again by using the affectionate nickname. "I'm a man of my word and I intend to honor our agreement. But first I need to ask you something."

You furrowed your brow in confusion, but nodded your head without a second thought. "Sure, what is it?"

"You have to promise me that all this is going to stay between us. You can't tell anyone about what we're about to do." The secrecy seemed strange to you but it also peaked your curiosity. Why was it so important to him that no one knew what you were going to do? What did he have planned?

There was only one way to find out.

"I promise," you assured him, waiting for him to explain what was going on.

"Great!" Sirius smiled and then pulled out his wand. He approached the statue of the one-eyed witch and touched it with the tip of his wand, uttering the word 'Dissendium'. Then an entrance to a dark tunnel opened up, a secret passageway inside the castle that you had no idea where it led to. If you weren't confused before, you definitely were now. What on earth was Sirius up to and why did it involve a secret tunnel?

"H-How did you do that?" You asked, dumbfounded. You needed to know how Sirius knew not only that there was a secret passage in the castle, but also how to open it. "How did you know?"

"I didn't spend all these years wandering around the castle for nothing." Was the answer he gave you, winking at you before entering the secret passage. "C'mon, let's go!"

Cautiously, you followed Sirius into the tunnel, pulling out your wand to light the way as the statue returned to its original position and the light at the entrance disappeared. You kept close to him as you walked, scanning your surroundings as you tried to guess where the passageway would lead you. It seemed to have no end. No matter how far you walked, you seemed no closer to getting to the other side. The lack of lighting didn't help much, it just added a creepy vibe that gave you goosebumps. Was Sirius planning to kill you?

"Where are you taking me?" you asked him after a few minutes of silence. You felt like you had been walking forever and still hadn't reached your destination.

"You'll see."

"Are you going to kill me and leave my body abandoned here?" you joked and he let out a laugh.

"Why would I want to kill you?"

You shrugged. "To avoid confronting the fact that I'm better than you at everything."

"At everything?" He repeated, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Are you sure about that? Because last time I checked I'm not the one desperate for dating advice."

“Shut up!” You said, hitting him on the shoulder.

“Besides, you still have to admit to everyone that I’m better than you, remember?” He reminded you of his words the day you came to him for help. At the time you didn't think he was serious, but now you weren't so sure.

"You wish." You muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes. Being friends was one thing, but indulging him by admitting that he was better than you was something you weren't willing to do.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

“That's what I thought.”

You continued walking as you laughed and joked with each other, chatting to distract yourselves from the long time you seemed to need to get to the end of that damned tunnel. As it turned out, the secret passageway connected Hogwarts to the cellar of Honeydukes. Sirius led you through the now deserted store carefully, but not before wrapping you both in the crumpled piece of cloth he had slung over his arm. He put it over your shoulders first and when you questioned him about it he pointed towards your body which had now disappeared.

Suddenly the success of his pranks and the gift he seemed to have for wandering around the castle without being caught made sense. He had an invisibility cloak! He was a fraud! Anyone could accomplish the extraordinary things he did if they had such a wonderful and convenient object as an invisibility cloak.

You were about to let out a sarcastic comment about it, but the air caught in your throat when you felt Sirius wrap his arms around your body, pulling you close to him. His warmth enveloped you as he stretched the cloth to cover your body as well, making sure you were both protected by the magical fabric to make sure you weren't discovered.

Walking through the streets of Hogsmeade under the limited space provided by the cloak was uncomfortable, especially when you felt Sirius' warm breath against your ear. You had to constantly remind yourself to breathe, but not too fast because then he would notice the effect his closeness had on you. You hoped he didn't already know, although the way he wrapped his arm around your waist made you think otherwise. Damn, he was good! Just a brush of his fingers on your skin and you were already sighing like half the girls at school.

"What are we doing here?" You asked as you noticed that you had stopped at a clothing store.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sirius spoke without looking at you, pulling out his wand and muttering a simple incantation to unlock the door. "We're going to find your perfect outfit."

"Couldn't we have done that when the store was open, you know, in the daylight?" you pointed out, hurrying into the store before anyone on the street could see you. You were pretty sure what you were doing was illegal. Not only had you two snuck out of the school using a secret passageway, but you had also broken into a store and were about to rummage through the inventory of clothing without permission from its owners.

You should be terrified, for all you knew you could be expelled from Hogwarts if you were discovered —not to mention the lecture your parents would give you at home. However, there was something about Sirius that filled you with a sense of security. For some reason in your mind nothing bad could happen to you if he was by your side.

"Yeah but we would have to wait for the next trip to Hogsmeade." He responded, justifying his actions with the excuse that the normal —and legal— way would take too long. "Besides, it's more fun this way." Sirius smiled at you and you shook your head, but you couldn't help but think he was kind of right.

"So we're going to rob these people?"

"No! We can pay for what we take, don't worry." He assured you, though it sounded too casual for your liking. You were breaking into a store and he was acting like he was going through the clothes in his closet. It made you wonder how many times he had done something similar in the past.

"Now get over here and start choosing clothes!"

Once you stopped thinking about the weirdness of the situation you started to have a little fun. Sirius helped you sort through the clothes, passing you items he wanted you to try on. Some were serious and some were just to joke around with you. You had to admit that even though you normally hated shopping, the activity became infinitely more fun if Sirius was with you.

You lost count of the time you spent inside that store, making a mess of the clothes that had been neatly folded and arranged on hangers and shelves prior to your arrival. You tried on every style and aesthetic the store had to offer, modeling each outfit for the watchful eye of Sirius, who always found something nice to say about everything you wore.

"You suck at this!" you complained with a chuckle after he complimented the color palette of a ridiculously extravagant outfit you had put on for the sole purpose of making him laugh. "You're not helping me decide at all! Give me your real opinions."

"I am! I swear!" Sirius defended himself, raising his hands in the air. "It's just that everything looks good on you, dove."

You let out an incredulous laugh, rolling your eyes to hide the true effect his words had on you. You knew he didn't mean it, but you couldn't control the rapid beating of your heart every time he blurted out a line like that.

"I'm sure you tell that to all the girls in school."

"Never! You're the only one, dove."

Shaking your head, you disappeared into the dressing room once more. You didn't want to give him the chance to continue his meaningless flirting. You didn't quite understand why he was doing it. You knew he didn't love you —not in that way at least—, so why was it so easy for him to throw those kinds of comments around like it was nothing? Was he trying to boost your confidence? Or maybe it was because he was so used to jokingly flirting with everyone that he couldn't help but do it with you too. You honestly didn't know, it was hard to read him on that aspect.

Part of you wished he would stop because even though you knew he was just joking, you found it impossible not to feel things when he would tell you how pretty you were or call you affectionate nicknames. He was getting your hopes up for nothing, making you believe that someone like him could like someone like you. It was tiring to have to constantly remind your heart not to believe anything that came out of Sirius' mouth.

You tried to keep your doubts from ruining the nice moment you were sharing, shaking the thoughts out of your head and working on putting on your next outfit. Only, when you emerged from the dressing room to show Sirius, you found that he too was wearing an outfit he had taken from the pile of messy clothes. But it wasn't just any outfit, it was one that you had discarded after wearing it for a few minutes and ruling that it looked odd on you. And the worst part was that Sirius seemed to look better in it than you.

"What are you wearing?" you asked him, chuckling as he modeled for you.

"Am I a pretty girl?" Sirius said, looking at you through his eyelashes. He did a couple of exaggerated poses while pretending to be a high fashion model, eliciting from you one of the loudest and most genuine laughs you've ever had. But you had to admit that he did look good considering the clothes weren't the right size or cut for him.

"Yes, very pretty." You complimented him as you caught your breath, rummaging through the pile of clothes for another outfit for him. "Here, try this one."

Everything spiraled out of control then. You momentarily forgot that you were trespassing in a store late at night as you played dress up with Sirius like two little kids. It had been a long time since you had felt so free and relaxed and a part of you couldn't believe that Sirius was the one who had awakened that chill side of you. Usually he would do the opposite —annoy you and stress you out to the point of insanity—, but since you had started this little experiment together he kept surprising you.

Now that you knew each other a little better, he made you laugh and for some reason he inspired reassurance and trust. All your fears that he would make fun of you or take advantage of the situation to humiliate you were behind you. He wasn't that kind of guy, no matter how immature and silly he usually seemed. Honestly, you loved this new relationship you had, where you still maintained a certain level of healthy rivalry combined with lots of laughter and inside jokes. Even if things with Oliver didn't turn out the way you wanted them to, you were still happy because at least he had left you with a new friendship.

What you weren't happy about, however, was fixing up the store after the mess you had made. Even with magic it took quite a while to put everything back in its place, but somehow Sirius found a way to make that tedious activity fun too.

But your jokes were interrupted when you came across something that caught your eye. As you were rearranging the clothes on one of the shelves you found a dress. It was black and had long sleeves made of the most beautiful lace you had ever seen, with detailed patterns that added a special delicacy to the piece. It was truly beautiful and you didn't know how you hadn't seen it before.

"You should try it on." Sirius' voice alerted you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"No, it's okay. We should just go, it's getting late." You put the dress back in its place, stepping away from that rack to rearrange the last remaining pile of disarranged clothes. That dress was beautiful, almost too beautiful for someone like you. You didn't think you could pull it off, so you preferred not to go near it. You didn't want to destroy your self-esteem if it turned out that the dress looked bad on you.

By the time you got back to school it was so late that everyone in the castle was asleep. It wasn't difficult for you to navigate the halls of Hogwarts undetected since Sirius had one of the best inventions in the history of magic: a map that told him the exact location of all the students and teachers within the school grounds. He didn't want to give you many details about it other than that it was a project he had done with the help of his friends and you didn't press him for more. Now you understood why he had made you promise not to tell anyone about tonight. Apparently he had more than one magical artifact that was best kept secret.

"Thank you for this," you said when you reached the entrance to your common room. Sirius had insisted on accompanying you to make sure you arrived safely before heading to the Gryffindor tower. "I had a great time."

"Me too," he admitted with a smile. He had really enjoyed spending time with you. He found that he really liked the relaxed and fun version of you that he had met tonight and wanted to see more of you. "I hope that after this you will realize how beautiful you look when you are more relaxed. Laughter suits you, you should do it more often."

You remained silent for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. That familiar feeling of warmth ran through you at his words, your whole body buzzing with joy. A smile formed on your face, a genuine sign of how much you appreciated his kindness.

"Goodnight, Sirius." You gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning and disappearing behind the doors of the Slytherin common room.

Sirius stood in place for a few seconds, staring at the spot where you had just been seconds before as he felt a tingling on the skin of his cheek where you had kissed him. Your scent still lingered in the air entering his system through his nostrils and clouding his thoughts with images of your smile.

"Goodnight, dove." he murmured to the air, bringing his hand to his cheek.

He knew then that he was screwed.

You noticed something was wrong with Sirius the moment you saw him walk through the greenhouse doors. You were meeting to change the mandrake pot as you had promised him you would. It was a relatively simple process if you took the proper precautions and a job best done in silence —you wouldn't be able to hear each other anyway because of the earmuffs protecting you—, but even for that he was too quiet. He lacked his characteristic sparkle, that mischievous twinkle you always noticed in his eyes. His smile had been replaced by a frown and he was distracted. He seemed to be worried or upset about something that he couldn't stop thinking about.

You tried to ignore him, unsure of what to do. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, but you didn't want to pressure him to talk if he wasn't ready or just didn't want to. Maybe he was trying to forget whatever was bothering him and your questions would only remind him of it. But eventually curiosity got the better of you and you decided it didn't hurt to ask.

"Okay, what's going on with you?" you finally spoke up, putting aside your gloves and the earmuffs you had worn to protect yourself from the mandrake's screams once the job was done. "You seem... off today."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I... I just have a lot in my mind." Sirius said, letting out a frustrated sigh. He leaned back against the counter, shoulders slumped in a pose that showcased his mood perfectly. He was staring at the floor, as if lost in thought, and you were suddenly curious as to what was so important to have him in such a state. You'd never seen Sirius so quiet or so serious before in the years you'd known each other.

"Do you want to talk about it?" you offered, giving him the option to use you as a shoulder to cry on, a friendly ear to vent to.

"It's my family, as always." He let out a bitter laugh, lifting his head so he could look you in the eye as he spoke. You could see the pain reflected in his expression and felt the urge to hug him. You knew about his family and how troubled they were. He had never fit in with them and had ended up being kicked out of his home by his own mother. It was a sad story and you had always felt sorry for him.

“I had a fight with my brother last night and I can’t seem to let it go… They're filling his head with those horrible ideas and there's nothing I can do about it. He doesn’t want to listen to me.”

You knew exactly what he was referring to, you had seen the people Regulus was hanging out with and sadly you shared the same concerns as his brother. Many of your peers in Slytherin were being caught up in dangerous hate speech and you completely understood Sirius' frustration about it. It hadn't yet touched you as closely as it did him - none of your friends shared those kinds of ideas - but you could imagine how painful it was for him to see his brother involved in something so horrible.

"Oh Sirius, I'm sorry." You didn't quite know what to say, there were no words that could ease his sadness or concern. You could only support him at that moment, hoping that your understanding would be enough to make him feel a little better.

Without even realizing it, your hand slid across the table to rest on Sirius'. It was a desperate attempt on your part to show him that you were there for him, something you did without thinking. Sirius's eyes lingered on your joined hands for a few seconds, staring at them as if he found it hard to believe what he was seeing. It made you feel a little self-conscious and you considered moving your hand, but before you could do so he moved his so that he could intertwine his fingers with yours. This time it was you who looked down at your hands as you felt him give you a light squeeze. It was such an innocent act, something so common, but it still awakened that special tingling inside you. It was the first time you were holding hands and it felt... good, comforting.

When you looked up you were met with his sweet smile. Sirius didn't need to utter words for you to understand that he was thanking you for your support, it was written all over his face. You had to fight the urge to hug him, thinking it might be too close and personal. You had a strange relationship - you weren't enemies but you weren't technically friends either - so it was hard sometimes to realize when something was too much.

Then an idea formed in your mind. Images of your special place flashed before your eyes like a movie and you decided it was an appropriate time to show Sirius that he wasn't the only one who had extensive knowledge of the Hogwarts grounds.

"C'mon, I want to show you something." You told him, pulling his hand entwined with yours to guide him out of the greenhouse.

You didn't have to go far to get to your special secret spot, just walk down the hill until you reached the edge of the lake. There was a large tree that provided plenty of shade and between its huge roots was a comfortable hole that you liked to sit in. It was the most beautiful and peaceful place you knew in the whole school. You liked to go there when you felt overwhelmed or stressed, sitting under the shade of the tree and just think for a long time, the world always seemed better after that. You were convinced that there wasn't a single problem that couldn't be solved with a meditation session in your special place.

"Welcome to my special place!" you announced with a smile when you arrived at your destination. "Come, sit here with me." You settled into your usual spot at the foot of the big tree and patted the free space next to you inviting Sirius to join you. He stared at you for a moment, but finally sat down next to you.

"How did you find this place?" Sirius was amazed at the beauty of the scenery around him. He obviously knew this place existed, but he had never paid attention to how beautiful and peaceful it was. There were no other students laughing and running around, just him, you and nature.

"You're not the only one with extensive knowledge about the castle, Black."

"So, what happens here?" He forced himself to look away from the landscape to return his gaze to you only to find that you were staring off into the horizon. The sunlight reflecting off the water of the lake illuminated the whole place in a different, more magical way, especially your profile. It gave you an ethereal aura that took his breath away for a moment.

"We sit here and we think." You replied without taking your eyes off the birds flying through the trees on the other side of the lake. "I always come here when I'm sad or stressed out. There's something about this place that makes all my problems go away."

You sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the scenery, letting the tranquility of nature bring you inner peace. Sirius tried to push the negative thoughts from his mind, concentrating on the birds singing and the sound of the water, hoping that would be enough to make the frustration and anger that was overtaking him disappear. It wasn't working out so well, but he didn't have the heart to tell you that your special magical place wasn't as powerful as you thought it was.

Well, that was until he turned his head so he could look at you. You were completely lost in thought, gazing forward with no idea of the way Sirius was looking at you. You seemed so happy, so relaxed, that he couldn't help but feel a warm feeling spreading inside him. He found comfort in you, in the special sparkle in your eyes, in the way you cared for him despite your shared history. For Sirius, the healing magic was not in where you were, but in you.

"Things are going to get better." You broke the silence, turning to look at him. His eyes were glued to yours and you discovered that the dark patch of sadness that covered his signature cheerful glow had dimmed a bit.

"How do you know?" Sirius' voice was low, almost a whisper that you were able to hear above the noises of nature thanks to the short distance separating you.

"I have to believe that they will. We all have to." Sirius wasn't so sure about it, he didn't have your blind optimism, but for a moment as he lost himself in the depths of your eyes he found hope. Everything seemed simple as long as you kept your eyes on him. He could face anything if you were by his side to guide his path, to hold his hand and remind him that everything would be alright. He found peace in you, something that both calmed and scared him. He was much more screwed up than he originally thought.

The more time you spent staring into each other's eyes in silence, the more the tension in the air increased. Sirius was suddenly aware of how close he was to you. He could feel the warmth of your body against his side, the touch of your leg against his and the smell of your perfume that assaulted his nose every time he took a breath. He only had to extend his hand a few inches to touch you, or lean in just a little to brush his lips against yours. Those beautiful lips of yours that tempted him since the first time he had laid his eyes on you. The same ones he had fantasized about kissing many times in the past, even when all that came out of them were insults and ironic laughter dedicated to him.

Sirius leaned towards you without even realizing what he was doing, lost in thought, mesmerized by the sight of your lips. He felt your breath against his face, mingling with his, and the touch of your nose against his. And then your lips met in a kiss that took you both by surprise. He captured your upper lip between his, reaching out his hand to grab the back of your head and pull you closer to him. You surrendered to the expert movement of his lips without putting up a fight, letting him guide you as you melted into the kiss.

Multicolored fireworks exploded behind your eyes, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy as you struggled to keep up with Sirius. It wasn't your first kiss, but it was the first time you felt wave after wave of electricity coursing through your body from one. You felt like you were flying, completely lost in the intensity of the moment. It was a special kind of high you never wanted to come down from. Sirius' lips just felt right on yours, caressing you with such passion and delicacy at the same time. It left you breathless and desperate for more. So much more.

But the kiss was cut short as quickly as it began when Sirius suddenly pulled away from you, leaving you confused and a little stupid.

"I-I'm... I'm sorry, I-" he struggled to come up with an excuse as he realized what he had done, feeling awkward and somewhat embarrassed that he had let himself get carried away by his impulses.

"Nono, it's okay, I..." you tried to intervene as well, fighting the fog that clouded your mind to try to form a coherent sentence.

"You know what? That was practice!" Sirius blurted out without thinking, making you frown.

"Practice for what?"

"J-just f-for the next step of the plan... in case you hadn't made out with anyone in a while." Sirius didn't sound confident in what he was saying and if you were in different circumstances you might have realized that was a lame excuse he'd made up on the spot. But your mind was still a bit affected by the kiss and you couldn't think straight, so you didn't notice.

"Is that what it felt like? That I hadn't made out with anyone in a while or whatever?" You tried to sound casual so as not to let him know how much you cared about his answer. To you that had been the best kiss of your life and it hurt a little to think that it had meant nothing to him. It made sense though, Sirius had a lot of practice and a lot of girls to compare you to. He'd probably had millions of better kisses.

"Well, I'm more of a tongue guy myself." Sirius joked, trying to ease the tension in the air.

"You don't say. I think I felt it poking at my throat." You played along and you both burst out laughing. The sweet melody of Sirius' laughter traveled through the air to your ears, entering your system and filling your insides with joy. All you wanted was to hear him laugh, to make him happy so that he would forget his problems at least for a moment. Everything stopped mattering to you as you watched the characteristic happy glow return to his eyes, concentrating all your efforts on keeping him distracted for as long as possible.

"Are you giving me kissing advice, dove?" he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, as if he couldn't believe the words that had come out of your mouth. No one had ever criticized his kissing technique.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Dove, c’mon.” Sirius said, making a funny face, and you nudged him playfully.

"You need it!" You assured him with a chuckle.

“That’s how people kiss.”

“Yeah in porn maybe.” You said rolling your eyes, exaggerating things to sound more dramatic. "You know what? I'm going to be the one giving you a lesson for once. This is how girls like to be kissed." Sirius looked at you cautiously, but let you guide him into the position you wanted, intrigued by whatever it was you had in mind. You moved too, and soon you found yourselves sitting across from each other. "Close your eyes." you instructed him and he obeyed without question. "Now lean in, slowly. Let the tension build."

Your eyes were focused on admiring the beauty of his face as Sirius moved closer and closer to you. He was the definition of masculine beauty with the sharp angles on his cheeks and those enticing lips that called out to you. His long hair framed his face perfectly, looking so silky and soft that you couldn't contain the urge to touch it. You brushed aside a couple of rebel locks that fell over his face, delicately tucking them behind his ear before letting your hand slide down to his cheek. You felt him lean a little into your touch and had to bite your lip to avoid kissing him at that moment.

The distance that separated you was shortening with every second. You could feel his breath mingling with yours, all you had to do was lean forward and you would once again be enveloped in the warmth of his body, feeling the soft caresses of his mouth on yours. You took one last look at his lips and prepared to make contact with him. Only it wasn't your lips on his, but your tongue licking his left cheek.

"Oh no you didn't!" Sirius exclaimed with a mixture of surprise and horror, bringing his hand to his face to wipe your saliva off his cheek. You let out a laugh and he couldn't help but laugh along with you. "You are a phenomenal kisser!" He joked and you gave a small nod, accepting his compliment.

“Thank you. That’s how we like it!”

“I’m taking your word for it. You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?”

“Never! Trust me, girls love to be kissed like that.” Sirius shook his head, as if he still couldn't believe what you had done, but he laughed with you. You had taken him by surprise and he had to admit that a part of him was a little disappointed at not feeling your lips on his again, but he couldn't deny that he was having fun.

"Are you feeling a little better?" You asked him when the laughter died down.

"Yeah, a little." He answered honestly. You had really managed to do in a couple of minutes something that even his best friends hadn't been able to do in hours: make him forget. You had an ability to get through to him that no one else had and it was nice to see you using it for good for once —instead of using it to get on his nerves like you used to.

"Thank you, dove." You could tell by the tone of his voice that Sirius was genuinely grateful to you. Apparently your nonsense had managed to help him a little and that made you happy. It was nice to be able to give him back some of the positive energy he brought to your days since you had started your arrangement.

"Don't mention it." You shrugged, downplaying it. "Just know that I'm always here for you if you ever need to talk. And this place is yours too now if you ever need it." You rested your hand on his again and Sirius felt that tingling under his skin again as his insides filled with that warm feeling at your words of support.

Oh, he was completely screwed.

You couldn't get that kiss out of your mind. Ever since that day at the lake Sirius was all you could think about. You caught yourself looking at him when you thought he didn't see you, remembering that kiss, what you had felt as he held you, the warmth of his body enveloping you and the softness of his lips on yours. You wanted to feel it again, to experience again the sensation of pure ecstasy that took over you the moment your lips collided. His kiss had made you feel alive in a special way. You had never felt anything like it before, an electricity so intense that it coursed through your whole body, awakening every cell inside you with the simplest of touches. It was pure magic, something out of the most perfect romance novel, no one could blame you for wanting to feel it again.

But then you remembered how you had gotten into that situation in the first place. You had come to him for help in getting another boy's attention and that's what Sirius had done all along. All those cute little moments that awakened butterflies in your stomach every time you remembered them weren't real. You were fooling yourself, seeing things that weren't there. He wasn't spending time with you because he loved you, he wasn't interested in you —at least not in that way—, he was just holding up his end of the bargain. Sure, you had improved your relationship considerably since all this had started, but you had to keep in mind that if it wasn't for your proposal you would still be fighting every chance you got.

Sirius wasn't in love with you and you weren't in love with him. You were just confused because you weren't used to getting that kind of attention from a guy —especially not from a guy like Sirius. Your heart belonged to Oliver, it had for the past three years and that wasn't going to change because of a silly kiss that hadn't meant anything anyway. You had to focus on what was important, what you had worked so hard to get: the date with Oliver. Once you finally managed to get it your mind would be able to focus on that and then you'd realize that your feelings for Sirius were just temporary.

So that's exactly what you did. You mustered all your courage, remembering every lesson you'd learned over the past few weeks, and looked for the perfect opportunity to talk to Oliver. The moment presented itself in Potions class. By sheer luck you ended up being paired up to work on a project together and you took advantage of the opportunity to start a conversation with him.

For the first time in three years you were able to form coherent sentences in front of him, alternating between comments about the project you were working on and casual small talk. The nerves and fear that usually overcame you when he was around were gone, allowing your personality to surface. You spent the entire class chatting and laughing as if you were lifelong friends. As it turned out, Oliver was a really nice guy and really easy to talk to when you didn't overthink every single thing you were going to say to him. You thought Sirius would be proud of you if he could see you acting so relaxed and free.

That's when you realized that he could probably see you since Gryffindor and Slytherin shared a Potions class, so you looked up to find him among the groups of students. Your eyes found him at the back of the room, sitting next to James as they worked on their potion. Your eyes met for a moment and you gave him a victorious smile, a silent way of letting him know that things between you and Oliver were going well. You thought that after all the time he had spent preparing you for this moment he would be happy to know that his efforts had paid off. You expected him to smile back or even give you a thumbs up in support, but he simply looked away and turned his attention back to the brew he was preparing with his friend.

You frowned, puzzled by his attitude. Was he angry with you? Had you done something to upset him? He couldn't possibly be mad at you because you were talking to Oliver, could he? That was ridiculous! He was probably in a bad mood about something else that had nothing to do with you. It was most likely about his brother, maybe they were fighting again and that's why he was acting strange. You had to stop obsessing about Sirius and focus on what really mattered.

You tried to ignore your concerns about Sirius at least until the class was over, returning your attention to Oliver and the story he was telling you. You worked and laughed for the rest of the lesson, turning in a perfect potion at the end of the hour. And as you gathered your things and prepared to leave the room you realized you had to make your move. It was now or never. So you summoned all your courage and asked Oliver if he'd like to go out with you sometime.

For some reason you fully expected him to refuse. That voice inside your head that loved to overthink everything you did and imagine the most catastrophic and improbable scenarios kept telling you that it was too fast. You had only shared one successful conversation and you were already asking him out on a date. It had been a mistake and you had to take it back immediately!

But that voice in your mind was muted when Oliver accepted your offer with a smile.

You stood in your place for a moment, watching Oliver leave the room with the rest of your classmates as your brain tried to process what had just happened. You had spent so much time imagining that moment that now it didn't feel real. A part of you thought it was an overly realistic dream that you were going to wake up from at any moment, though the illusion was shattered when your eyes met Sirius' as he left the room. It was only for a second, but it was enough to leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

Why did his presence affect you so much?

"Ann, you're not going to believe this!" You exclaimed in excitement when you found your friend in the crowd of students walking through the halls to their respective classes. You pushed her to the side to get a little more privacy, waiting for a group of second year students to pass by to give her the big news. "I got the date!" you said, emphasizing the word 'the' so she understood what you meant.

"With Sirius? I thought you guys were already dating." Your best friend's response took you by surprise. Why would she think you and Sirius were dating?

"What? No! Sirius and I are not dating. Why would you think that?"

"Oh." She murmured, genuinely surprised. "It's just you guys are spending so much time together lately and look so happy all the time that I just assumed you were dating and were keeping it a secret." She shrugged. "Plus there's that one time I found you two at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop."

“That didn’t mean anything. He was just helping me get a date with Oliver.”

“Oliver? You still like that guy?”

“What’s wrong with him? I thought you liked him.”

“I do! He’s a nice guy, but…” Ann trailed off, like she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. You looked at her with a raised eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest waiting for her to say whatever was on her mind.

"But what?" You pressed her, noticing she wasn't going to speak.

"I just think Sirius it's better for you, that's all." You scrunched up your nose at her words. How could Sirius be better for you when just a couple of weeks ago you weren't able to hold a conversation without fighting like little kids? It was ridiculous, and honestly you were starting to get tired of the universe continuing to insert him in the middle of everything. Oliver was the guy you wanted, not Sirius, was that so hard to understand?

“That’s ridiculous! Plus, Sirius doesn’t even like me like that. We are just now starting to get along, I’m not even sure if he even considers me his friend.”

“You’re joking, right?” Ann looked at you as if she couldn't believe the words coming out of your mouth, something that only added to your confusion. "Have you seen the way he looks at you? That guy is head over heels for you." You let out a laugh that echoed throughout the hallway, but died down when you saw the serious expression on your friend's face. She couldn't be serious, could she? There was no way Sirius had feelings for you.

"That's a good one!" You patted her shoulder, congratulating her as if she had told the funniest joke you'd ever heard.

"I'm being serious, dummy! I've seen you two together and there's no way he doesn't have feelings for you."

"Then you're seeing things!" you exclaimed before turning around and starting to walk to your next class. You no longer wanted to hear what your friend had to say. You had gotten the date you had been dreaming of all this time, why couldn't she just be happy for you? Why did she have to make everything so complicated?

"And do you know what else I think?" She insisted, walking up behind you and raising her voice a little to make sure you heard her. "I think you have feelings for him too but you're too stubborn to admit it."

You decided to ignore her, but her words echoed in your mind for the rest of the day. Could she be right? Could you be in love with Sirius? It sounded ridiculous, something completely impossible. But then you remembered that kiss you had shared by the lake shore. You remembered the tension in the air, the softness of his lips on yours, the way he had held you close to him and the waves of electricity coursing through your body. You weren't sure if you were in love with him, but you couldn't deny that there was a spark between you that was much stronger and intriguing than your relationship with Oliver. Maybe you were too stubborn or too scared to call it for what it was, but it was evident that it was there and apparently everyone could tell. Everyone but the two of you.

You felt like your head was going to explode from so much overthinking and questioning what you were feeling. It was driving you crazy and you weren't even able to come to a conclusion. Every time you were close to finding the answers you were looking for a new voice would pop up in your mind and ruin all your progress with its comments. You were so wrapped up in denial that it was impossible for you to understand how you truly felt.

So you decided to stop worrying about it. If you had learned anything in the last few weeks, it was that everything was so much easier when you turned your brain off for a while, relaxed and let things flow. You had time to figure out your feelings and think about what to do about them. Right now all you had to do was celebrate because your plan had worked. You had gotten that date with Oliver and that was all that mattered.

In the spirit of your new decision you didn't worry about what hidden message could be behind the strange note you got from Sirius asking you to meet him at your special place. You two hadn't spoken in the last few days. The last contact you'd had with him was in Potions class when he practically ignored you. The cryptic message he had left for you inside one of your books made you curious, wondering the reasons behind his interest in meeting you at your special place. However, you tried not to think too much about it, limiting yourself to showing up at the right place and time to hear from his own mouth whatever it was he wanted instead of driving you crazy imagining the worst.

"Hey!" you greeted Sirius awkwardly, feeling a strange tension in the air that took you back to the events of the last time you had been there. He was sitting in the exact same spot as that time, waiting for you to occupy the empty space next to him. "I got your message. Why did you want to meet here?"

"Oh I just wanted to talk to you. We haven't done that in a while." He gave you a smile, but you noticed it wasn't reflected in his eyes. You wondered if maybe that was because the situation with his brother had gotten worse. Maybe that was the reason he wanted to talk to you, after all, you had promised him that you would be there for him when he needed you.

You took a seat in the empty slot next to him, hoping that the conversation would focus on his family once again. However, the next words out of his mouth took you by surprise.

"I saw you talking to Oliver the other day." You froze, your brain short-circuiting as you tried to think of how to respond.

"Y-yeah, I was... I was talking to him." You responded awkwardly. Why was it so weird for you to talk about Oliver with Sirius now? You didn't seem to have a problem with it just a couple of days ago. What had changed? "It went pretty well. I got a date." You smiled, but your smile didn't show in your eyes either.

"That's great, dove! I'm really happy for you." He almost sounded sincere, but you had heard the real joy in his voice too many times in the last few weeks to recognize when he was faking it. His voice was low and quiet, as if he struggled to utter those words. Your friend's voice echoed in your mind and for a moment you wondered if she might be right.

"I have something for you." Sirius' voice snapped you out of your thoughts. He turned for a moment and it was then that you noticed the package resting on one of the large tree roots. "Let's say it's a graduation gift." He added, handing you the package.

You carefully unwrapped the gift, discovering a black piece of fabric inside. But it wasn't just any piece of fabric, when you held it in your hands you realized it was a dress. It was that dress you liked so much but hadn't had the courage to try on when Sirius took you shopping. You froze in place, your eyes traveling from the delicate piece of clothing in your hands to Sirius' face, who was looking at you expectantly.

"I saw the way you were looking at it at the store so I went back and I bought it for you. I don't know why you didn't try it on at the time, but I'm sure it'll look great on you."

You were speechless, your brain unable to put into words how much that small gesture meant to you. He had noticed. He had seen the sparkle in your eyes as you admired that dress in the store. He looked at you when you didn't notice and paid attention to every detail. That thought alone made your heart race. He cared about you, it wasn't a product of your imagination or your heart getting confused. Sirius truly cared for you.

"Sirius, I... You didn't have to..." you struggled to say, trying to find the words to describe what you felt. You didn't know why such a simple gift moved you so much. You supposed it was the principle of the thing, the thought behind it. That dress was a perfect summary of your relationship, a delicate and intricate piece of fabric that you refused to try on out of fear. And just like that dress, you too were afraid to try things out with Sirius. Both were unfamiliar territory for you so you preferred to avoid them rather than face them.

But Sirius seemed to have a different idea.

"Of course I did! I just knew you would look beautiful in it and I need it for you to have it." Sirius sounded so convinced that for a moment you felt confident, forgetting your fears about the dress. He looked at you with such adoration that there was no way you could feel any different. He gave you all the confidence you needed. Everything was so much easier when Sirius was by your side holding your hand and saying exactly what you needed to hear. He was good for you.

“Maybe you can wear it to your date.”He couldn't hold your gaze when he said that, averting his eyes to the lake that reflected the beautiful orange colors of the sunset in its waters. The idea of wearing that dress in front of anyone but him felt wrong. That outfit was your little secret, your special gift - just like that place was.

It was then that you understood what you had to do. It was time to put denial and fear aside and face reality. You had feelings for Sirius and that wasn't going to change because you forced yourself to be with someone else. It wasn't fair to Oliver or Sirius, and it definitely wasn't fair to you. Even if things didn't turn out the way you hoped, you deserved to explore your feelings for him without fear.

"I don't know. To be honest, I don't know if I want to go out with Oliver anymore."

Sirius returned his gaze to your face, a frown drawn into his expression. "What do you mean? Wasn't that all that you wanted?"

"I used to, yes. But lately I've been thinking about this other guy... he's a real charmer, I can't seem to get him out of my head. It's a tough situation because I used to hate him, but I had the opportunity to get to know him better and I think I'm falling for him." Sirius looked at you with his eyes full of doubt for a moment, refusing to listen to what his heart thought you were saying. But then you smiled at him and he understood your hint.

"I think I know who you're talking about. Is he by any chance the most handsome guy in Gryffindor?" The characteristic cheerful twinkle returned to his eyes as well as a mischievous grin that got a chuckle out of you.

"Maybe." You played dumb. "He's also a huge dork, but I kind of love him for it." This time it was Sirius that let out a chuckle, throwing his head back as his body shook with laughter.

"Well, then you're in luck because this handsome dork is also in love with you."

You shared a meaningful look that was stronger than anything you could say to each other at that moment. And then, just like that other day at the lake, Sirius leaned toward you and pressed his lips to yours. It was a much longer kiss than the first one you shared, one that you both could enjoy in the moment given that it wasn't the product of an impulsive decision. You both wanted it, you longed for it from the moment you parted after your first kiss.

Sirius' hands framed your face, pulling you closer to him. He needed to feel you against his body, to feel your warmth enveloping him. He had missed the feel of your lips on his, caressing his mouth so delicately. He had spent every second since that kiss cursing himself, fearing that he might never feel you so close to him again. His world had crumbled when he saw you talking to Oliver in Potions class, thinking he had pushed the girl he liked into the arms of another guy. He hated to think that anyone but him could have the chance to caress your lips. They were made just for him to kiss, no one else could touch them.

But now that he had you back in his arms all his concerns disappeared, fading away thanks to the intoxicating mixture of your perfume and the sensation of your lips on his, moving so gracefully together that he couldn't help but think that you were meant to be together.

"Since we're being honest, I have a confession to make." Sirius spoke as you broke apart, struggling to catch his breath. "I never needed help with Herbology, I just needed an excuse to spend more time with you."

"What?" you exclaimed in surprise. You didn't see that one coming. "Then whose plant was that?"

"It was Peter's. He sucks at Herbology." Sirius admitted and you let out a chuckle as you shook your head, unable to believe what you were hearing.

But your laughter died down as a realization hit you. "Wait a minute. You liked me before all this?" Sirius just nodded, as if such a revelation wasn't important.. "So why were you being such a jerk to me?"

"It was fun, it's very easy to get on your nerves." He shrugged. "Plus, you look adorable when you're angry."

#sirius black x reader #sirius black x female reader #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #sirius black x fem reader #sirius black #sirius black x reader fluff #sirius black x reader angst #ro's 600 followers celebration

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pluckyredhead · 3 months

Note

For your Fourth World reading do you have a reading order you could share with us? Or recommendations on where to start? Sorry if this has been asked before

No need to apologize! I've been meaning to write up my Fourth World recs so thank you for the reminder. Also it is unfortunately a short list lol.

The Fourth World by Jack Kirby:

Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen: Kirby wrote and drew issues #133-148. This is where he launched the Fourth World, and where we first saw Darkseid and a number of other characters and concepts. It is a little tangential to the main Fourth World storyline (and some of it, like the two Goody Rickels issues, is REALLY weird and not necessarily in a good way). I would say if you are interested in the Fourth World from a comics history perspective, you should read Kirby's Jimmy Olsen, but if you are interested from a blorbo perspective and just want to read about Orion or Scott or whoever, you can skip it.

New Gods (1971): This is Orion's series. An absolute must, this is the heart of the Fourth World. The original run is issues #1-11 (there are a couple series that pick up the numbering, but the first 11 issues are the real deal).

Forever People (1971): I would say this is the other book that is really central to Kirby's magnum opus and the themes he was exploring. Again, less interesting from a blorbo perspective (I'm sure Mark Moonrider is someone's blorbo...) but it's only 11 issues so I would recommend reading it for the historical/thematic value. Do it for Kirby!

Mister Miracle (1971): The other blorbo! Kirby's original run is #1-18.

New Gods (1984) #6: In 1984 DC reprinted the original New Gods run as double-sized issues (so #1 contains the original #1 and #2 from 1971, etc.). Issue #6 reprints the original New Gods #11 and then adds new material to "conclude" Kirby's story. But you'll want to continue and read...

The Hunger Dogs (also called DC Graphic Novel #4): This was Kirby's conclusion to the Fourth World saga. It's not his original vision, but it's the most DC would allow him. He is not quite at the heights he was in 1971, but it's nice to see him get a chance to conclude his tale, and it's a must-read if you ship Orion and Lightray.

The Fourth World by people who aren't Jack Kirby:

New Gods (1991): This is Rachel Pollack's run and it's excellent. The art is extremely 1991 but the writing makes up for it. The last three issues of the series are written and drawn by John Byrne instead, and they're fine - you can read them or skip them, doesn't matter.

Orion (2000): Walt Simonson's run, AN ABSOLUTE MUST-READ. RUN DON'T WALK. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS. Orion suffers so much and it's so delicious to me.

Solo #7: There are only two pages of Fourth World content in here but it's Orion betting Scott he can come up with a death trap Scott can't escape and then literally just trying to kill him for fun while Lightray has a panic attack. Orion and Scott are both lunatics and I love that for them. Brothers of all time.

Both of DC's YA graphic novels about these characters, Mister Mircle: The Great Escape by Varian Johnson and Daniel Isles and Barda by @ngoziu, are excellent.

AND UNFORTUNATELY THAT IS IT. Scott and Barda are in JLI which I will always recommend, but it's not strictly speaking a Fourth World book. Orion is in Grant Morrison's JLA which is a classic, but he doesn't have a huge role in it as I recall. You should already be reading Kelly Thompson's current run on Birds of Prey because it's perfect but Barda is especially perfect in it.

The nice (?) thing about the Fourth World is that every writer basically completely ignores all previous writers except Kirby so there's not a lot of continuity to track. If you read Kirby, you can encounter the characters anywhere else and know everything you need to know.

Happy reading!

#fourth world #orion #lightray #mister miracle #scott free #big barda #barda free #comics recs

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lorebeth · 4 months

Note

Hey! Could you write a Blade x princess reader?

A princess like Aelin Galathynius from throne of glass. She’s a badass who used to be an assassin once and who wields fire power.

HIII I am so sorry this is so late I’ve been sick for 3 months and I literally lost all sense of reality for a while. BUT I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to keep the fire powers or not so I kept it as friendly as I could for any type of power! I hope that I wrote the reader well because if I’m being completely serious I had to search up Aelin Galathynius and I was NOT DISAPPOINTED!!! i was actually considering getting the novels so you’re literally a life saver! ANYWAYS I HOPE I MADE THIS WORTHWHILE AND THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST LOVELY!!

Blade x Princess! Reader

TW: Romantic (but can be read as platonic - just skip or ignore the dream part), kind of emotionally constipated reader..? War, blood, probably something incorrect in there lmao…

Sword fighting came to you easily. Your powerful strikes are full of precision and poise, your stance is always perfect and agile as well as your sharp mind. Your reaction time in battle was excellent and you were extremely proud of yourself.

You had to learn your cutthroat style from a young age, it’s a kill or be killed world and the only way to protect yourself was to become the predator, the top of the food chain. You also need extremely tentative wording and persuasive language to get information, as well as a keen eye for what is beneath the surface of every turmoil or hidden threat in one’s words.

This is your last mission. With a certain childhood friend at your back supporting you all throughout your younger and teen years, you know very well this could be the last you see of him.

But he wasn’t an idiot, you both understood that much.

As you both crouched and huddled under the cover of a bush - your bag of magical artifacts attached to your right thigh - you couldn’t help but realise how easy this was. It was extremely suspicious and you had to ask your companion for advice.

“You know what I’m going to say to you.” you whispered.

He chuckled, his rich laugh contrasting with his disheveled and dirty clothing. As much as the throne was your birthright, he also deserved luxuries you both could only dream of outside of a world of stealing. His hair was tied up in a high ponytail and your family’s medallion was attached as a brooch on his right chest strap. His trousers hung low and were stained with mud, his boots carrying a dagger in them. He turned to face you, golden eyes stalking your figure, you didn’t want to meet his yet.

“I think we should use our distraction.” his voice hoarse and unused. You both ran out of water preparing magical components at the base of the city and nearly two days staking out the perfect time to strike. The Rebels were planted in the lower and abandoned parts, ready for the signal.

You’ve been through worse however, this was child’s play compared to the gruesome training you forced upon yourself.

“Mm. Any last words, Blade?” you turned to look into his piercing eyes. They held broken shards of who he used to be, the child with big dreams and the broken promises he was gifted instead.

He grabbed your hand, gently raising the back of your gloved hand to his lips, kissing it. He slowly slid the black scarf over his nose again and squeezed your hand softly once. He would be at your side until the end.

You couldn’t help smile to yourself. Blade was your best friend, always at your beck and call, he knew you were never going to give up on him and he in turn never gave up on you.

Sometimes there’s a dream that almost haunts you at the peacefulness and domesticity it promises. It’s you with Blade in a beautiful bedroom, the light shining in and the wind blowing softly through the soft, pearl-coloured balcony curtains. The room covered in soft greens and faint reds that remind you of beautiful flowers. The silk bedsheet feeling blissful on your back as you stare up at Blade sleeping, his nose scarred and you always end the dream by running your fingers gently over it and kissing his nose, never getting past that scene.

It haunted you and you hated it, but fuck would you do anything for that moment to be reality. As much as you didn’t have time for romance in a fight for the throne, you could only crave it like how a force as powerful and chaotic as fire depends on something vital as oxygen to keep it alive, stronger than ever.

Of course you’d never tell him that though, it’s better for things to be left unsaid; especially in war. You took off yours and his masks, cupping his face gently. You’d never tell him how you felt, but actions always speak louder than words. You stared at him and pressed your lips against his cheek, inches away from his lips. You place his mask back on gently and he does the same for you.

“Are you ready?”

“I’ll follow you to the ends of the world if it means you are happy.”

___________________________

It was a fucking massacre. Blood on the walls, the curtains torn and glass windows shattered. Swords thrown haphazardly into all directions on the floor and half of the city glowing blue and white due to the “distraction” in the lower parts of the city. Whoever thought it was a good idea for Illegal Blue Flame Charms was on something as it wasn’t in the plan. You were trying to take back your city, not destroy it to fucking cinders. But you digress, you need to find the King.

As you stalk through the sinister hallways your boots make crunching sounds on the glass shards. You didn’t bother making your arrival quiet, you didn’t need to because the King already knew you were here, just like you promised.

“Well. I’ll be damned.” A cough erupted from a corner of darkness. The voice hauntingly familiar even through the strain and coughing fit.

He didn’t deserve to get a reply, after slaughtering your parents and exiling their only daughter lucky enough to escape, the promise you made that day would finally come true. You would get your Kingdom back and murder the one who endangered your people, taxed them to nothingness and celebrated the death of two brilliant parents and rulers.

As you raised your hand, you felt the familiar heat and energy in your palm, your fingertips glowing that lovely colour you’ve grown to adore. The blue of the outside fire and destruction was weak compared to the light emitting from your hand, and you landed the final blow. After years of trauma and terror, running away and the fear of being caught… you’ve never felt safer.

___________________________

The citizens - your people - adored you. Obviously, anyone would be better than the Dictator who was their last leader but you were their true heir, the one best fit to take control over the Kingdom again.

The first thing you did after you killed the King was find Blade. He was a skilled swordsman but even he wasn’t untouchable. He was injured and on the brink of passing out when you found him. He knew you had won and immediately fell on his knees to congratulate and bow down to you, a smirk on his face and blood trickling down the left side of his head, making him close his eye to stop it trickling into it. There was a cut on his nose now, that’ll scar for sure.

You had appointed him as your Head Guard and crowned him the highest honours you could bestow upon a man. He might as well have been a King himself.

Standing in your old bedroom, you made your way to the balcony watching over the city. The sun was setting and everything was gorgeous hues of golds and pinks.

The rebuilding of the city was going smoothly and no civilians were critically injured due to the Blue Flame Charms set around the different parts of the city, only the abandoned buildings were gone and could be easily replaced with new homes, markets and trading ports. Taxes that were stupid had been reset and everyone could finally breathe without having to rely on Loan Sharks or crime to live and support their families. Those who had lost their jobs and homes had been invited to the Castle and given jobs to help repair, as well as given food and water for their families. The old were taken to spare rooms and wherever someone could take them in. The Kingdom was working together better than ever before and it was all thanks to you and the rebels.

“What are you thinking about?” The voice of your Head Guard questioned. You turned around and smiled at him. You had changed your clothes and so did he, he was gorgeous with new clothing, better hygiene, nicely combed hair, beautiful brooches on his straps and delicate embroidered roses on his coat. His outfit was composed of blacks, dark greens and the blood reds from his roses.

“You.” He looked unimpressed.

“Sure.” He came to stand beside you on the balcony of your childhood bedroom, staring ahead as you continue to eye him.

“You know I wouldn’t have known what to do if I had lost you.” you whisper, the words holding a deeper meaning. His head turned in your direction, still not making eye contact with you. The sunset was illuminating his face and every scar, blemish and bandage on his face made him even more godly than before.

“Don’t look at me like that.” he turned to stare at you now, his eyes pleading. You smiled at him and laughed.

“A dear friend once told me, ‘I’ll follow you to the ends of the world if it means you are happy.’ I think he was right.” His laugh was pure and he embraced you.

The tears in your eyes stung and you felt all your panic and anxiety over the years slip, even if the trauma would be there forever you felt safe enough to forget about pain and misery in his arms.

“I am forever with you, Y/N. As your Head Guard, your Consultant and most importantly, your friend.” He kissed the top of your head sweetly and you couldn’t help sob happily as you laid in the safest arms of all.

___________________________

(Romantic: if you don’t want romance and only platonic I suggest ending it there. Thanks!)

You approached the man sat on the balcony step, circling your arms around his shoulders and pulling him back into your open arms, him coming into contact with your chest and sighing deeply.

“What’s wrong? Don’t like my hugs?” You teased.

“I hate that you don’t take me seriously.” He stated blandly. You look down at him confused. What’s he on about?

“What are you talking about? If I thought you were a joke you wouldn’t be my Head Guard, or in my arms for that matter.” you offered him a teasing smile and squeezed him a little harder.

“What I mean is you don’t take my advances seriously.” he scoffed.

What.

“Advances? What exactly have you done that was in a ‘courting fashion’?” you might as well have been given a blank piece of paper and sent out to go shopping because what fucking advances has he given you?

He turned around to face you and he had an exasperated expression, going through all 5 stages of grief trying to explain himself to you, “Y’know.. I gave you my last dessert. And I held you last week.” you stared at him blankly.

“You gave me your half-eaten pudding and you pushed me off the street into a muddy puddle because a carriage was driving by. The carriage wasn’t even close to the side walk may I add.” he sighed again and stared ahead, acting like a neglected child.

You laughed and soon your entire body couldn’t stop shaking at how hard you were laughing, Blade was still sulking in your arms and that made you stop momentarily.

“You know, those advances may not be, traditional per say… but it’s the thought that counts. And I might add, I’ve also been wanting you to court me too.” you finished with one of your hands cupping his cheek and the other holding onto his arm.

“I had great advances.” he deadpanned.

With the biggest eye roll you could muster, you leaned in gently, allowing him to have a moment to decide whether he wanted to kiss you too or back out. When he didn’t move you got a little confused, opting to back out.

He slowly inclined his head forward and with a excited smile you leaned in the full way, lips pressing against his. At first you did all the movements and set the pace, letting Blade adapt to the kiss.

His hands snaked around your waist and the wrist of the hand that was cupping his face. He soon felt you pull away from the kiss for air and he took the opportunity to kiss your wrist gently. His eyes piercing yours once again.

“My chosen protector, my closest companion and my heart, will you stay with me forever, until death do us part?” you asked, suddenly feeling all emotions you could possibly think of in that small silence overtaking your senses. You felt nervous but excited and you felt yourself trembling all in one.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” he smiled.

istg I had whooping cough or smth wtf

#honkai star rail #blade x reader #hsr blade #blade honkai #blade hsr #honkai #x reader #x princess reader

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lurkingshan · 1 year

Note

Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Thank you for the ask, I don't mind a bit! Though I will say that this particular question sent me into a minor existential crisis, because how on earth could I ever pick just 10 things that I love across all media. I don't know if y'all have picked this up about me yet, but I consume vast amounts of media, like...unbelievable amounts of media, it is my great joy in life. I consulted @bengiyo about how to approach this question, and he suggested a frame to help narrow it down: what are my favorites that someone else recommended to me, that I then felt compelled to recommend to others? Hope you don't mind the tweak! As always, keeping this in the realm of Asian media for this blog, here is what I got:

What Did You Eat Yesterday?

When I met @bengiyo and @waitmyturtles I learned very quickly that this was their all-time favorite, and if I didn't like it we were gonna have a problem (jk but not really). I hadn't watched it on my own because until recently (shoutout to our savior Gagaoolala) it was quite inaccessible and I hadn't yet stumbled onto @isaksbestpillow and found her amazing subs. Luckily, I have impeccable taste and WDYEY is in fact a masterpiece, so they watched me watch it, I lost my mind over how unique and brilliant and technically flawless it was, and we are now all bonded for life over our love for this show, which just returned for a second season and will hopefully continue forever. I love it so much I have even started reading the manga, and I am not a manga girlie by nature (I prefer reading prose), so you can be assured I absolutely will not be shutting up about it anytime soon.

Go Ahead

Credit for this one goes to @ginnymoonbeam for watching it first and then sending up a flare for me as a fellow cdrama enjoyer that this one was worth prioritizing immediately. I love big sprawling family stories that unfold over time, I love digging into intergenerational family trauma, I love good dad characters, I love found family dynamics, and I love a well done romance subplot embedded in a much bigger story, so this show hit so many of my sweet spots. It's #1 on my list of modern cdramas and I would recommend it to anyone.

Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed

Speaking of cdramas, I must give a shoutout to @dangermousie who wrote this post summarizing their favorite danmei novels, which I found when I went looking for recommendations and was trying to figure out a way into this segment of Asian media. I admit I am a bit bougie about my reading material and modality, so I really can't deal with machine translations or reading on html pages, and thus I still have not read some of these as I am patiently waiting for official English translations to become available (me and 2HA are gonna have a party in 2024 I tell you what). I had already heard of The Untamed, of course, because I am a human person who lurks in online spaces, but reading the novel got me significantly more interested, and I quickly fell down a months long rabbit hole that included consuming the novel, the show, and copious amounts of fanfiction. This story is so complex and layered and full of fun mysteries and meaty moral quandaries and interesting family relationships and has an A+ second chance romance and one of my all time favorite characters to boot; it really took over my brain for a minute. And while it hardly needs me to recommend it given how popular it already is, I'm still gonna do it whenever I get the chance.

Mo Du/Silent Reading

And while we're on the subject of danmei, let me give a shoutout to my favorite modern danmei novel, which was recommended to me by an IRL friend who is not on tumblr. Mo Du is a sprawling mystery novel that spans five major interconnected cases, and it centers on an exceedingly competent police captain, Luo Wenzhou, and a young business heir/super genius, Fei Du, who start out with an adversarial relationship (but I bet you can guess what happens next!). The crime stories in this are almost shockingly intricate and every detail comes together in the end without a single loose end, which is impressive enough on its own, but somehow the author (Priest, who some of you will know as the writer of Faraway Wanderers aka Word of Honor) manages to also write a perfectly paced, incredibly compelling love story between the two leads that is layered with complex trauma and psychological hot buttons and secrets and lies that unfold organically alongside the mystery. I am in the middle of re-reading it right now and my love for it only grows stronger. The gif above is from a recent attempt to adapt this into a live-action drama that got quickly canceled, but honestly, the less said about that, the better (though Zhang Xin Cheng will absolutely remain the Fei Du of my heart). With China's censorship laws, there will be no faithful live action version of this story, so I highly recommend reading the novel.

Pachinko

While we're on the subject of novels, I must mention another IRL friend recommendation: Pachinko. This one is a sprawling multi-generational family historical fiction epic that tracks the lives of a Korean family that is forced to migrate to Japan during Japanese occupation in the early 20th Century. Y'all, this book is amazing, and it has now been turned into a television show airing on Hulu that is also quite good (though structured quite differently, but that's another post). I learned a ton of real history in the course of reading this, and I found the journey of Sunja and her family so compelling. The book has a real intersectional lens and digs deep into themes of oppression, racism, class disparity, and sexism, and is rooted in Korean values around filial piety, respect for hard work, religion, moral condemnation, and of course, the importance of food to communicate.

The Great Indian Kitchen

youtube

Switching gears, let me give a shoutout to this Indian film that my bestie @neuroticbookworm recently recommended to me and @waitmyturtles. This film is about a modern young woman who enters an arranged marriage with a family of high status (though maybe not of the kind you think) and explores her experience of oppression as a woman in a very patriarchal religious setting. The story is really compelling, I learned about a common experience for women in India, the narrative ended in an unexpected place (in a good way), and I really enjoyed the watch. And this film is on YouTube with good subs which I linked above, so it's quite accessible.

Be Melodramatic

Let's get back to dramas, shall we? I credit this one to @kdramaxoxo, who recommends Be Melodramatic constantly, and thank goodness because otherwise this under appreciated gem would have never landed on my radar. This is a beautiful story about a group of friends who move in together in the wake of personal tragedy and tracks their progress as they heal and move on from their hardships. The themes of grief and growth and change are quite poignant, the relationships, both platonic and romantic, are all very compelling, and the music is beautiful. If you haven't seen it yet, what are you waiting for (@nieves-de-sugui this is definitely a good one to add to your list).

Make it Right

Time for @bengiyo to get another shoutout. This is a Thai bl classic that doesn't get the love it deserves, and he is its number one promoter. I don't know when I would have gotten around to watching this if he hadn't recommended it so highly, and I'm so glad I did. I wrote about this one, why I loved it, and why I think it's under appreciated, and I highly encourage others to give it a try.

Coffee Prince

We will end on an OG kdrama classic, which I watched early on in my kdrama journey thanks to a recommendation from an IRL friend who said it was the best version of the well worn Asian drama genderbend trope that they had ever seen, and my god were they right. Not only was this my first Gong Yoo drama (a life changing experience in and of itself) but this one really took me by surprise for how sharp and progressive it was about gender fluidity, sexual identity, and the struggle toward self-acceptance way back when it aired in 2007. I recommend this one to everyone, and its a great entry point for people who prefer queer media and have (justified) suspicion of mainstream kdrama's treatment of queer narratives.

#what did you eat yesterday?#go ahead #the untamed #mo du #pachinko #the great indian kitchen #be melodramatic #make it right #coffee prince #drama recs #danmei #shan answers

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kozumesphone · 5 months

Text

masterlist

💌┊₊˚⊹꒷ LOSS OF MY LIFE .ᐟ

⤷ leo valdez x fem!reader ‧₊˚ ⋅

ᝰ. 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 . . . percy jackson and the heroes of olympus

ᝰ. 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬 . . . angst, swearing

ᝰ. 𝐤𝐞𝐲 . . . n/n: nickname | y/n: your name | y/l/n: your last name

ᝰ. 𝐰𝐜 . . . 618

ᝰ. 𝐚/𝐧 . . . short first oneshot! starting strong with an angsty leo one, just because. fun fact: this is actually an excerpt from a scene I wrote for my novel’s wip; I switched up some lines to suit the riordanverse setting more, as well as the characters’ names (:

leo was breathing raggedly, and I could hear his strained breaths through the phone he’d built for me.

“leo? you okay?” I asked.

“hey love, remember when you gave me that dagger with the teddy bear keychain? and the time I said the word ‘connoisseur’ all wrong and you took two hours to make me say it right?” he laughed.

“what’s going on? leo?” I was beyond confused. why was he telling me all this now? did he get into trouble with chiron, or mr. d?

he let out a dry laugh, and continued. “do you still have that dagger I gave you in exchange for your hair tie?”

I looked down at my shoes, and my gaze slipped to the dagger concealed at the side of my boot.

“of course I do.” it barely came out as a whisper. something was very wrong and he wasn’t telling me what. “please tell me what’s wrong, leo-“

“n/n, remember when you teased me endlessly about liking that one girl in that book you love?” he chuckled. he was talking about a character named jude from one of my favourite books. of course I remembered, but what the hell was going on? why was he calling me up and asking me all of this so suddenly?

“I… i’m sorry. I love you, n/n. so fucking much.” he paused, realising what he said. “in the best friend kind of way. obviously, shortie.”

“I know what you meant, dumbass.”

“oi, are we really going back to those nicknames now?” he laughed.

is he really okay?

“leo… you’re scaring me. please tell me what the fuck is going on.” I pleaded, my voice breaking.

“what, I can’t just call my best friend up and express my gratitude on a lovely morning?” he paused, understanding I wanted the real story. “there’s another quest, and… i’m not sure i’ll be back this time. but, n/n?”

“yeah?” my heart hammered in my chest at the mention of a quest. he should be all right. he was probably just assuming the worst, right?

“thank you.” he took a deep breath. “thank you for taking care of me. thank you for understanding and being with me, for all these years.” he was on the verge of tears and holding back a sob, and I could just tell.

“leo, I love you so fucking much too, my dumbass. please tell me what quest chiron has you on. I can help you. we can do this together!” I almost yelled the last part.

he sighed. “i’m sorry, n/n, I can’t let you get hurt too. I can’t see you die like that.”

rage consumed her, like a predator would a prey. if he couldn’t watch her get hurt, did he really think she could just sit around and wait for him to die?

“shut up. shut up. don’t you dare talk like you’re dying. you will not die, and you will tell me what’s going on, in detail. I swear to the gods, valdez, I will strangle you myself if you don’t come back to me alive.”

he breathes out something in between a laugh and a sob. “i’m sorry, n/n. I can’t promise you that. I have to go now, the others are waiting for me. we’re going to leave in a few minutes.” he took a few seconds to organise his words, and I thought he hung up. until, he said the words that wholly and completely destroyed me.

“y/n y/l/n, i’m sorry. I love you.”

there was a little click, which my heart shattered in rhythm with.

I had the most soul-consuming feeling that I would be deprived of his voice for millions of years to come.

kozumesphone © 2024 | don’t repost my works onto other platforms, or edit and post them even on tumblr, without asking me first • don’t steal my works, steal my heart instead • reblogs and comments are more than appreciated !

#skye's cafe ~ ⋆.˚#⭑𓂃 skye’s riordanverse !#skye.jpg🧸—#I love crying to angsty leo fics <3 #hail angst #leovaldez #pjo #hoo #heroesofolympus #femreader #leovaldezxreader #oneshot #angst #pjoangst #heroesofolympusoneshot #riordanverse #writers on tumblr

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fandomnsfw · 1 year

Text

Bad Liar - Remus Lupin x EnglishTeacher!Reader

Pairing: Remus Lupin x EnglishTeacher!Reader

Prompt: bet u wanna by Sabrina Carpenter. Bad Liar by Selena Gomez

Warnings: Smut! D/s undertones, praise kink, sub space, aftercare, abusive relationships(not Moony).

no beta!

**************

You stood on the stage instantly relaxing, all anxiety gone as you lost yourself in the music. You’d finally finished your new song and you couldn’t be happier with it. Most people write songs about experience you didn’t have many of those so you wrote about story’s. You preferred to think of yourself as a story teller rather than a singer. Which as an English teacher felt more fitting. As you got to the chorus the room grew even more silent making you smile. Your hands caressing up the mic stand until you grabbed the microphone head.

‘Didn't think about it when you let me down. Hurts to see me out of your reach, Bet you wanna touch me now. It's cold out there, Let me know what you found. Bet you wanna love me now. Bet you wanna love me now.’

When you finished the song you stepped back and gave a short awkward nod before deciding to take a break before the next song. A few regulars stopped you to tell you how much they liked your new song making you grin excitedly.

“Nice to see you again love.” Rosmerta exclaimed as she brought you into a hug.

“I can only do two more songs before Greg gets here.” You whispered to her making her eyes narrow.

“That man is no good for you.” She whispered softly making tears prick your eyes.

“I-I know but I have no where else to go Rosie. A-And he loves me.” You muttered sadly making her shake her head.

“Hi. I really liked your song.” Someone said behind you making you spin around in shock before your eyes widened.

“Holy fudge balls. Y-You’re Remus Lupin.” You squeaked said you stared up at the rather tall but excessively handsome man.

“And you are?” He asked sweetly with a grin on his face.

“Y-Y/N Y/L/N. It’s such an honour to meet you. I read your novel obviously I know you’re in a band, your musics awesome but I’m a big reader. English teacher. And I am rambling…feel free to save me from my fangirling.” You rambled with flushed cheeks.

“Oh, not many people even know I wrote a book. I didn’t think it was that popular.” He chuckled with his own flushed cheeks.

“I loved it! It’s so underrated.” You chuckled before Rosmerta approached telling you to get your last two songs in.

“Sorry. It was really nice talking to you.” You chuckled as you started for the stage.

After you finished two more songs you stepped off stage just in time to see Greg walk in with his usual scowl. You were about to walk up to him when a young woman slid up to you. She was bouncing in her spotted like an excitable puppy making you smile a little.

“Hi! I’m a singer and I think the company I work for would LOVE your work! Have you thought about singing full time?” She exclaimed happily making your smile brighten even more.

“Yeah I’ve heard your songs! You’re also dating Sirius from The Marauders right?” You asked sweetly just as Greg approached.

“Come on let’s go.” Greg demanded grabbing your hand.

“G-Greg I was talking to someone.” You stuttered fearfully as he turned to look at the woman.

“Thank you for the offer but I enjoy teaching English. It’s very flattering you like my songs though.” You chuckled awkwardly making Greg narrow his eyes at you.

“This is my number. If you ever change your mind let me know…but also I just moved here so feel free to call anyway.” She chuckled softly making you smile shyly.

Once she’s done speaking Greg said nothing as he dragged you out the pub walking a few minutes to your shared house. He didn’t say anything as he sat down on the couch. You instantly began making his tea, which you’d thankfully prepped before your gig this evening. You slid the lasagna in the oven before grabbing a beer and walking into the front room.

“What the fuck was that at the pub?” He asked in a eerily calm way that had fear rippling through you. How much more emotional abuse could I take before it consumed me?

“You were being rude…she’s a famous singer and she offered me a place at her company. She liked my songs.” You tried calmly but his eyes narrowed instantly.

“That’s a hobby not a job. We’ve talked about this. Your songs are mediocre at best. Plus you need to be here, food won’t cook itself and one day when your finally pregnant we’ll have kids that need caring for.” He drawled a hint of anger in his tone.

“Speaking of. Did you see the doctor about getting those tests done. I mean we’ve been trying for 2 years! There’s got to be something wrong with you as a woman if you can’t even get pregnant.” He growled as he sipped his beer, tears sparked in your eyes at his harsh words but you buried it. There was nothing wrong with you or the secret contraception you had planted in your arm.

You refused to bring a child into this world to be fathered by a man like him. No child deserves that. You bit your tongue to contain your anger something you’d done for years now.

“Get me another beer.” He demanded as he downed the last of his bottle.

“Would it kill you to use manners. The kids in my class know better and their a bunch of hormonal teenage boys who say things like ‘innit’ and ‘mush’.” You snapped, instant regret seeped into your bones as his face dropped.

You assumed you’d get a verbal lashing as you always did, however when he stood up and slapped you straight around the face you were shocked. The slap was so hard it had knocked you straight to the floor. You looked up at him to see no remorse, you scurried to your feet and ran. He instantly ran after you as you barricaded yourself in the bedroom, locking the door as you pulled out your phone.

Who do I call? Police? I have no friends or family. Would the police even do anything when he was on the force? Fuck, I don’t even have any numbers in my phone!

You picked up your phone about to Google The Three Broomsticks number when the internet cut off. Fear was all you could feel when you remembered the card that singer has given you not half an hour ago. You picked the card out your cardigan pocket and dialled the number.

“Hello?” A voice muttered sweetly over the phone.

“I-It’s Y/N from the pub? I-I know you don’t know me but c-can you send me the number for the pub? P-Please?” You pleaded tearfully.

“Hey…it’s okay. Tell me what happened darling I’m still at the pub now.” She asked in concern making your tears start falling.

Suddenly Greg was slamming against the door trying to barge in. Your body was shaking as you tried to calm yourself down enough to talk.

“OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR YOU STUPID GOOD FOR NOTHING BITCH!” He screamed as his fist pound against the door.

“Is that your fella? Did he hurt you honey?” She asked softly making you whimper.

“He slapped me but…I think he’s gonna do more if I open this door! I-I’m scared.” You cried making her sigh softly.

“Send me your address I’m coming to get you.” She stated calmly as you grabbed a bag and started packing.

She hung up as you sent the address, you might not know her but you’d rather leave with a stranger than be in a house with someone who hit you. You should’ve seen this coming. It always started with the emotional abuse.

Greg was still beating on the door when you heard a crashing sound downstairs that had his abuse on the door ceasing.

“Who the fuck are you? You can’t just barge in here.” Greg shouted from outside the bedroom door.

“Get the fuck out my way you fucking cunt.” A female voice snapped making you straighten up.

“The fuck did you ju—

“If you lay a hand on my woman I will fucking kill you!” A male voice screamed making your eyes widen.

“Y/N lovey it’s me. Come out he won’t touch you.” She muttered outside the door. You reached for the set of draws, moving them out the way before unlocking the latch on the door.

“You got everything you need sweetie?” A man you recognised as Sirius asked.

You looked around the room before pointing to the two duffel bags on the end of the bed that you’d stuffed all your clothes and anything precious into. He nodded softly as he picked up one bag as you grabbed the other with a struggle.

“You can’t just come in here and take my fucking woman!” Greg screamed as he began following after you but Sirius was behind you and his girlfriend in front blocking Greg off from you.

“Y/N do you want to stay?” Sirius asked as they got to the bottom of the step.

“N-No.” You stuttered fearfully as you avoided looking at Greg.

“You fucking bit—

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Someone else snapped behind you making you spin around to see Remus Lupin stood there.

“Oh is that it? Ey, you’ve been whoring around? I hope you at least used protection! Wouldn’t want you to come back pregnant via someone else spawn! Then again we’ve already established you’re a pathetic excuse of a woman that can’t even get pregnant. Haven’t we love?” He snarled as he stepped towards you.

“I have a contraceptive implant in my arm! Because what idiot would want to bare your child! I feel sorry for anyone who ever does! But it won’t be me!” You screamed clearly shocking everyone including yourself.

“I’ll kill you.” He growled making your eyes widen in fear.

“Thanks for that lovely confession.” Sirius snorted as he held up his phone showing the recording had been going from the second he walked into your—his house.

“Y-You…” He started but instantly dropped it.

“Get her out my house. I don’t ever wanna see you again.” Greg snarled viciously as he stormed off towards the kitchen where the faint smell of burnt lasagne was coming from.

“Th-Thank you.” You whispered as you picked up the bag you’d dropped to the floor. However Remus reached over and picked it up for you.

“Come on. Rosie has set up a room for you.” Remus whispered sweetly making you smile shyly.

You nodded as you follow them towards what looked to be Rosie’s car they’d clearly took for your sake. You got into the back as Sirius got in the driver's side with his girlfriend in the passenger seat. Remus slid into the back with you after loading up the bags.

“You don’t have to answer but has he ever...” Remus asked gently making you sigh.

“N-No it’s always just been verbal…but I feel like in the years it’s happened I built a shell that blocks out his words. Today I ‘sassed’ him because he didn’t say please. I told him the kids in my class had better manners. After he slapped me, I thought I’d see some remorse or regret but there wasn’t any…he looked at me like that slap was just the start of it, so I ran.” You explained quietly making his frown deepen.

“I know it doesn’t mean much as we’ve only just met but...I’m proud you got yourself out.” Remus whispered sweetly making your face break out into a grin.

“Thank you.” You chuckled awkwardly.

*************

“Y/N check this out!” You heard a shout from upstairs making you put down the rolling pin in your hand.

“Just roll this out for me Pete then there pretty much done.” You muttered sweetly as you squeezed past Remus giving him a cheeky grin before running upstairs.

“Lemonade here made a new song.” Cherry snickered making you raise a brow. When she started playing you listened to about 10 seconds of the song before bursting out laughing.

“I’ve told you guys not to call me that.” Lemonade huffed as her boyfriend walked in doing a stupid dance when he heard the song.

“See your best songs are about our sex life pup.” Sirius snickered as he pulled his girlfriend into a sultry dance.

“Brilliant! I love it.” You laughed as pulled out a CD with a wink.

“Here’s my newest addition.” You added as you wiggled your brows.

“Gimmie!” Lemonade squeaked as she threw hers out without much care.

When the song came on her eyes widened as she let her body sway to the beat as you pulled her into your arms as you began dancing with her with a grin on your face. She threw her head back laughing as she listened to the song with a proud grin on her face.

“I have officially made another pop princess.” Lemonade shouted happily.

Lemonade looked so proud you couldn’t help the wide grin on your face as you bumped your hip against hers. In the last few months you’d become the best of friends with her. It mostly started about a month after they’d rescued you.

****

You walked downstairs to the pub when you’d heard loud music, deciding to take a break from grading to see who was playing. You slipped on a cardigan over your shorter cottagecore style dress. Something you indulged in after you left Greg. When you were together you weren’t allowed short dresses or anything with too much skin.

Granted you weren’t one for such things anyway but when you’d seen this dress online a you’d decided to be a little impulsive for once.

When you got downstairs you saw the Marauders playing with Sirius’ girlfriend playing lead singer. You smiled at the look of pure adoration on Sirius’ face as he played his guitar, staring at his girlfriend.

James was no where to be seen though making you look around until you spotted him with the barmaid that you spoke to occasionally. You wandered over to the pair with a grin, they looked up with matching expressions.

“Y/N! It’s so nice to see you! How have things been?” James asked politely making you roll your eyes playfully.

“I saw you last week James.” You huffed sarcastically something you’d recently picked up. After years of verbal lashing you’d learned to bury your true self to become the meek English teacher and perfect girlfriend to him.

“Well Cherry over here won’t update me on your well being and as your self appointed brother I was concerned.” James drawled sarcastically making you laugh.

“I’m assuming Cherry is a nickname?” You laughed making him wiggle his brows.

Just then the music died down and Sirius’ girlfriend ran over so fast she crashed straight in the bar knocking it enough to cause an avalanche of Lemons to roll off the bar making Cherry face palm.

“Woah calm down you almost became the newest brand of lemonade!” Cherry sighed with a laugh.

“I shall call her Lemonade and she shall be mine and she shall be my Lemonade!” You joked patting her on the head.

Everyone has burst out laughing making her flush bright red.

****

It’s strange to think such a simple interaction had made such an amazing bond but at that time it was what you needed, a friend. Since then you’d healed a lot more, you’d even recently been thinking about dating. Although that thought only seemed to occur around Remus which you’d tried to pat down.

“Soooo is this the only new song because I swore when I was scrolling through the studios hard drive I saw a sneaky peak of a song called Bad Liar!” Lemonade exclaimed dramatically making your eye widen.

“I locked that folder…so what you mean is you broke into my locked folder on the hard drive?” You snorted with an eye roll.

“I didn’t listen to it.” She pouted making you laugh.

“It was just something random. It’s no good.” You answered calmly. I’m a big fat liar. That song is the only song I’ve ever modelled after an experience.

“Can I listen anyway?” She asked sweetly making you glance around the room at everyone else.

“Maybe when we’re alone later Lemonade..” You muttered with flushed cheeks.

“Clear out bitches! I’m too curious to wait.” Lemonade shouted making your eyes widen.

Everyone snickered as they left the studio before closing the soundproof door behind them. You glared at your best friend who instantly opened the folder on the computer and began typing the password to your folder in. She opened the song and closed her eyes as she took in the music.

‘I was walking down the street the other day Tryna distract myself But then I see your face Oh wait, that's someone else Oh oh, tryna play it coy Tryna make it disappear But just like the battle of Troy There's nothing subtle here, oh oh In my room there's a king size space Bigger than it used to be If you want you can rent that place Call me an amenity, oh oh Even if it's in my dreams, oh.’

“This is good was it dream based or book based?” She asked over the music making you flush.

“E-Ermm book!” You tried to sound sure but when she narrowed her eyes at you you knew you’d done a terrible job.

“Oh my god! Is…is this your first feelings based song?” She asked with wide eyes.

“That…is this about a guy?” She squealed as she began bouncing on her chair like an excitable puppy making you groan.

“You’re not gonna let this go are you?” You sighed with another eye roll.

“Nope.” She answered happily.

“Yes it’s about a guy. No I won’t tell you who, no I won’t be dating him and NO I will not be playing this song in public.” You told her sternly making her grin grow in size.

“Fine but I’ll figure it out.” She taunted making you laugh.

“Mhmm sure.” You laughed as you turned off the computer and began dragging her downstairs where the other were sat drinking and laughing.

“I put the pizza in the oven it should only be a few more minutes.” Peter said shyly making you smile softly.

“Thanks Pete.” You chuckled, truffling his hair affectionately before making your way to Lemonades kitchen.

You poured yourself a glass of wine before leaning against the kitchen side, your eyes closing as you just let yourself have a minute. You might love having friends and places to go to if anything ever happened but sometimes the loudness and excitable behaviour got too much. You weren’t quite used to it yet.

“You okay?” A familiar voice asked making you startle, your eyes opening in slight alarm before realising it was Remus.

“Yeah I’m not used to it yet…The noise.” You explained softly.

“I’ve been around it for more than half my life and I’m still not used to it.” He laughed making you giggle.

“Summer holidays start soon right?” He asked sweetly.

“Yeah just one more week. The year 11’s have already left obviously but the younger years are basically gonna spend the next week getting homework for the holidays and watching films.” You chuckled before sipping your wine.

“You filled Ms McGonagall’s position right?” He asked with a small smile.

“Yeah. She’s the one who hired me. Her exact words were ‘I’m not leaving my kids to some stuffy bastard.’” You snickered making him laugh.

“She was the one who encouraged me to write my book. I love music and the band but I also love writing. I didn’t think I could do both. She told me that I could do whatever I wanted. Said it would be hard work but if I wanted it enough I’d make it work.” He stated calmly with a small smile on his lips.

“Good advice. So James has got Cherry, Sirius has got Lemonade. Are you or Pete not seeing anyone?” You asked curiously, throwing in Peters name to distract from the fact you only cared about of he was dating.

“Pete hasn’t had a girlfriend since school. He’s a bit shy in front of lasses and a lot of women nowadays don’t have the patience for it. As for me I haven’t dated in a while. I’ve been writing another book and between that and the band most woman don’t want to share the attention with my work or hobbies.” He chuckled dryly making you frown.

“Well women can be stupid.” You snorted before continuing.

“Peter’s a great guy and I’m sure he’ll fine someone who is exactly what he needs. As for you Mr Lupin, if women don’t want to share you with your passions their not worth it. You’re kind, mature, creative and handsome. Someone will snatch you up eventually.” You giggled before turning to take the giant square pizza out the oven that had 8 sections with different toppings on it.

“What about you? A-Are you seeing anyone?” You instantly noticed the stutter in his voice and looked up to see flushed cheeks. I might be a bit rusty with dating and men but to me that seemed…interested?

“No. I’ve been thinking about it but Hogsmeade is a small village. Most men are either under 20 or over 50. The ones our age either moved away or got married.” You laughed making his brows furrow. Is he upset?

You used the pizza cutter to slice the pizza into many slices before popping them on a giant wooden chopping board and carrying it to the front room, Remus following behind you quietly. You all sat down drinking and eating as everyone made jokes and casual conversation. You lived for these nights, it made the past few years with him worth it.

******

Once the pizza was finished and drinks had multiplied everyone was buzzed and lounging happily. You were curled up on the couch between Peter and Remus as the couples occupied the two single seater lounge chairs. Your cheeks were flushed from the alcohol and your tongue loosening enough to make your sarcasm amplify.

“Oh yeah there’s a rapper I work with and he recently saw a picture of you on my Insta and asked if you were single.” Lemonade muttered drunkly.

“I’d sooner date Dumbledore than a rapper.” You snorted making everyone laugh.

“He’s really sweet.” Lemonade argued making you roll your eyes.

“Which rapper?” You drawled.

“Prewett.” She answered with a grin.

“Hmm cute…still a no.” You snarled making Remus snicker next to you.

“So sweet ginger rappers aren’t your thing. Neither is the song writer I showed you or the photographer I wanted to introduce to you. Who the hell is your type?” Lemonade huffed with a pout on her face.

“That’s a secret!” You exclaimed loudly.

“Okay here’s an easy question. There’s several blokes in this room! All very different which one is more like your ideal type?” She asked cautiously.

“I was gonna say Sirius just to wind you up but that would be a lie.” You snickered making everyone laugh.

“What about Pete?” She asked making the poor lad turn bright red.

“We’re both too shy! Pete needs someone confident and open.” You huffed with an eye roll.

“Okay Remus then!” She tried and suddenly your face went bright red as you opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out.

“Th-That—You can’t jus—

“Oh my god!” She shouted loudly making everyone jump.

“Wait I wanna know too!” Remus slurred making your eyes widen.

“You guys are so nosey! Yes Remus is attractive okay? He’s the closest to my type!” You grumbled sassily.

“Holy shit! The song is—

“I was with a policeman for 7 years! I will literally murder you and get away with it!” You interrupted making her grin widen.

“What song?” James asked curiously.

“Never you mind deer boy!” You shouted making Cherry laugh.

“It was one time! Why did you lot even tell her about that?” James huffed grumpily. Then all of a sudden everyone was shouting over one another until Remus shouted louder than anyone.

“Stop trying to set her up with everyone!” Remus shouted making everyone stop.

“Moony you okay buddy?” Sirius asked suddenly feeling a little more sober.

He looked to you ignoring Sirius’ question making you smile softly. Jealousy. You let out a soft giggle nudging Remus’ arm with your shoulder smiling at him sweetly. You both seemed to get lost in each others eye for longer than necessary but finally you decided to take a leap of faith.

“Moony here is jealous you guys haven’t tried to set him up with me.” You giggled making Remus’ eyes widen.

“Ooooooh.” James and Sirius said in unison.

“So?” You huffed sassily at Remus.

“O-Oh! Okay! Would you like to go on a date tomorrow?” He asked with flushed cheeks.

“Sounds great. Pick me up at 7.” You giggled with your own flush cheeks.

“Okay.” He mumbled awkwardly but he had a subtle smirk on his lips that had you grinning.

“Awesome! Now get out my house so I can screw puppy into next week literally because it’s Sunday.” Sirius snickered making Lemonade grin happily.

***********

“Re-Remus…” You moaned breathlessly as your legs tightened around his waist, your back arching off the wall.

“Fuck..look at you. So needy for me aren’t you bunny?” He groaned as his cock lined up with your entrance.

Your dress bunched up at you hips as he held you up against the wall. Your heart pounding in your chest a you tried to wiggle closer her his hardened member making the tip slip inside you. You moaned happily as he growled against your breast that were hanging out over the top of your dress.

“Naughty girl.” He whispered against your nipple before sucking it into his mouth.

“Mmm fuck me please. Need you!” You begged shamelessly making him smirk.

“Aww is my perfect little bunny desperate?” He teased before thrusting into you slowly.

“Don’t worry darling…I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t take it anymore.” Remus moaned huskily as he lifted pinned you to the wall and began pounding into you again and again.

“O-Oh! Fuck yes Moony!” You cried out as you clung to him tightly. You didn’t usually call him that much let alone in the bedroom. But the second it left you mouth Remus went feral, his thrust gaining speed and depth as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten.

“That’s it bunny…Cum for Moony.” He growled as his hands gripped your ass roughly pounding into you mercilessly.

“Ah…a-ahh Moony!” You screamed as you came, your orgasm making your eyes roll back as your body shook around him.

“Fu—Shit! Y/N!” Remus cried out as he came inside you, panting against your breast, kissing them occasionally as you both came down.

Without separating you he walked to the bedroom and lowered you down to the bed his cock still inside you. You moaned a little as he pulled out but before you could get up Remus pinned your hips down and began spreading your legs.

“Wanna hear you screaming Moony again bunny.” He groaned as he ran his finger through your folds.

“Mmm look so good with my cum leaking out of you.” He added as he thrust two fingers into your cum filled pussy.

“Love it when you cum inside me Moony. Fill me up so good..” You slurred as he bent down to lick your clit.

“Is that right bunny? Wanna be filled up with my cum?” He groaned before sucking on your clit, his fingers gently massaging your g-spot.

“Y-Yes!” You cried out as you bucked against his hold.

“Want Moony to breed your pretty little pussy?” He growled making your eyes roll back again.

“Y-Yes fuck! M’cumming.” You whimpered as your legs shook.

“Good girl bunny.” He praised as he coaxed you through it.

“Come on darling. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He took out his fingers and sat up.

You sat up and immediately took his cum covered fingers into your mouth. Both your cum mixing together had you moaning around his fingers.

“Taste good bunny?” He chuckled as you released his fingers.

“Yes Moony.” You whispered sweetly making him groan.

He was on you instantly, his cock shoving straight back into your sopping wet cum covered pussy. Your back arched off the bed with a high pitched moan ringing out as he fucked you. Remus was the opposite of Greg in every way. Greg was controlling in everything except the bedroom, where he was just lazy and selfish. You’d been together for years but it that time you could count on one hand how many he’d made you cum.

Remus had surpassed that in one weekend together. Now a few weeks into the relationship you could honestly say you’d never been as satisfied and happy.

You felt yourself slipping into a dazed state something that had never happened. Your brain might have actually turned to mush as his thrusting got harder and deeper. Your eyes were half lid, your lips parted with constant moans and whines of pleasure.

“Cum for me bunny.” He whispered into your ear and you did. You toes curling, your legs starting to cramp as you once again came.

You weren’t sure what happened but you were in your own world. You knew the world was still there but for some reason you couldn’t focus. Until you heard Remus’ sweet voice coaxing you out of your current hazy view of the world.

“Hey bunny…you did so good for me. Can you try and tap my arm to answer some questions? Once for yes twice for no?” He whispered sweetly. You tapped his arm once letting him know you would making him smile down at you.

“Good girl. Do you feel floaty bunny?” Tap.

“We need to get you washed up and to the toilet. I’m gonna carry you is that okay darling?” He asked softly. Tap.

He picked you up your head lolling against his chest as he sat you on the toilet. He turned around to grab a cloth, wetting it with hot water and letting it cool down. He turned around and helped you stand up, leaning you over the counter to wipe up any left over cum.

“You were so good for me bunny. Make Moony so happy.” He whispered as he helped you to stand up and pressed a kiss to your temple.

“I’m gonna call the guys and tell them we’ll skip tonight.” He whispered gently.

“N-No I can go.” You argued, your voice croaking slightly as you looked up at him.

“Bunny…” He sighed softly making you pout.

“Wanna see Lemonade.” You whimpered with tears in your eyes.

“Okay okay bunny. But you don’t leave Moonys side. And no drinking tonight. You’re in subspace and I don’t want you to drop darling.” He explained to you slowly. You nodded your head and started stripping to change into something else.

“Can I borrow a cardigan Moony.” You asked sweetly, your lashes fluttering innocently.

“Of course bunny.” He chuckled as he helped you out on a fresh dress with one of his way to large cardigans.

***********

“You two are late!” Lemonade shouted as you both entered the pub. You were less floaty after taking a slow walk to the pub but you still felt clingy and more shy than usual.

“Sorry. We weren’t going to come but Bunny wanted to see Lemonade.” Remus answered as he sat you on his lap.

“Bunny?” Sirius snickered making you pout.

“Ignore him darling.” Remus whispered as you nuzzled into him neck.

“What’s wro—is she in subspace?” Lemonade squeaked as she gaped at you.

“You brought her to the pub in subspace?” Sirius hissed as he shook his head.

“She wanted to and I’ve never seen her in subspace I didn’t know how she’d react to me telling her no.” Remus huffed.

“Hey Y/N want me to order you something to eat?” Lemonade asked gently.

“Yes please Lemonade.” You answered quietly making her lip fork a smile.

“So cute.” She giggled before running off to get you some food.

Just then music began playing making you wince a little as you looked up to see The Valkyries on stage. Except their lead singer wasn’t Marlene like it usually was. You tilted you head in confusion before looking at Remus.

“I’m assuming Marl’s throat isn’t going to get better then?” You asked a little more with it than before.

“Yeah she needs surgery and she doesn’t want the band to suffer so they hired a new singer. Tonight’s her first night performing live.” He answered as Lemonade ran back with a basket of nachos with all your favourite toppings and cheese sauce.

“Thank you.” You giggled as you dug into your food. Every bite clearing you mind more as Remus, stroked your hair and kissed your cheeks, whispering about how good you were.

“So since these two have nicknames I eel it’s about time you have one!” Sirius exclaimed making you scrunch your nose.

“Another fruit related one?” James grinned making you glare at the pair.

You stood up from Remus’ lap, deciding to finally go to the bar yourself. Lemonade stood up but you waved her off with a playful eye roll before turning to James.

“I don’t need a terrible nickname from the likes of—

Just as you said that someone ran into you spilling a vanilla shake all over your dress, thankfully missing Remus’ cardigan.

“I am so sorry!” The woman cried out as she looked at you in concern.

“Vanilla it is.” Sirius snickered as you turned to him with the deadliest glare you could muster.

“It’s fine. Accidents happen.” You replied as you turned to the lady.

Remus took off his jumper leaving him in a plain white T-shirt as he traded you for the cardigan. You stormed off to the bathroom grumbling to yourself as you went. When you’d changed into the giant cream jumper that fell to mid thigh you burst of laughing. This was living.

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