#THE INFINITE MINDSCAPE

[bigfemboyenergy]

woah!!!! again?!?

remember that one post i made with a gf/dp crossover in which the ghost zone actually CONTAINS the mindscape? dont lie, i know you dont

i just remembered how cool that felt to me so !! im thinkin i might write a bit (just., gotta find it)

original prompt post: https://www.tumblr.com/bigfemboyenergy/749856656479879168/ok-ok-this-will-be-the-last-time-i-promise?source=share

Bill laughs as the kid stares straight through the hole he just shot through Bill’s bowtie. “I’m immortal here, kid! It’ll take more than that to kill me!” Immediately, the human changes his stance, as if preparing for some sort of violent response. Bill doesn’t even bother to so much as flick him as he says, “Whoa, whoa kid! How much trauma have you dealt with?” He openly laughs, his strange voice filling the odd, infinite space.

The boy adjusts his posture, tensing up a bit, as he seems to prepare a blast from his hand. To this, Bill stops laughing and continues to act fairly casual. “You know, you’re quite the sight for sore eye! I haven’t seen anyone in this realm outside of myself before!” He watches the human get a little less tense, before tensing up again, as if waiting for some surprise attack. “Look here, kid. I’m not in a fighting mood,” Bill starts, with a laugh. It’s obvious he’s being a little more serious, before he quickly returns to his overly odd cackle, “No matter how much you seem to be!”

Danny can’t help but suspect the thing. He can’t tell what it is, especially since it has no ghost-like aspects outside of its regeneration. After all, a yellow equilateral triangle with one giant eye, a bowtie, a cane, and a fashionable hat doesn’t seem..quite normal to become, for those who’ve passed. It irks him to see something so strange and oddly, uncomfortably threatening, within his domain. Danny can’t help but feel protective over his realm, as the Ruler of the Infinite Realms, a title he gained since his defeat of Pariah Dark. His obsession with protecting others also doesn’t help.

But Danny really knows something’s up. He’s never even heard of such an odd being in the Realms before, something he doesn’t expect despite its vastness. With a deep breath that he doesn’t quite need to take, he finally speaks to the creature: “What even are you?” Danny doesn’t even care to sugarcoat his words. This being surely hasn’t done so with its own, so why not be so straightforward?

The beast’s singular eye almost illustrates the emotion of grinning. Danny only notices now, but the creature almost pulses as it seems to speak, with no mouth in sight. “I’m a dream demon, isn’t it obvious? The name’s Bill Cipher, make sure you don’t forget it!” It asks, a clearly rhetorical, purely joking, question, before continuing. “From a world in which direction, dimension, and disaster have no meaning! Where 2D is the new 3D, and life is near worthless!” Danny watches as the thing calling itself a ‘dream demon’ bursts into a fit of laughter, it seeming to find everything very entertaining. He must say, he isn’t satisfied with the being’s answer. It just seems to leave even more questions.

Danny lets himself relax as the demon questions him right back; “Who, rather than what, are you, kid?”

Bill watches the human closely with his eye, waiting for an inevitable response, whether with words or actions. It’s rather exciting to practically hear the gears in the boy’s brain turning as he thinks deeply. Within a minute or so, the kid responds, “Phantom. People call me Phantom.” Bill nods, in a way that his unusual body will let him. Everything about the boy only seems to get more interesting. “Say, what business do you have here, Phantom?” Bill questions, with a smirk-like look in his eye.

Phantom gives Bill a calculating look. “I am the ruler of these realms, actually.” This greatly surprises Bill, who rotates his cane in his hand thoughtfully. “Well, who’d have thunk it! Why, kid, you’re quite the little mystery!” He laughs, his voice once again resonating through the infinite space.

It seems like the two are in for a ride- one of the “emotional rollercoaster” type.

[cinematicandbeyond]

my name is gog agog gog agog gog-a gog agog gog-a gog. i have green eyes and one billillion worms (that's where my name comes from). a lot of people tell me i look like the Heir (a/n if you dont know who that is then get da throne outta here!). i'm not related to marilyn monroe but i wish i was because she was a rizzmaster. i'm a collective mass but i look like many people. i have pale white skin occasionally with orange or red lines. i'm also a demiurge, and i go to a meeting called the Concordance in the multiverse for the last 10 kalpas (i am nearly 50 billion years old). i'm a clown (in case you can't tell) and wear mostly green. i love the worms and i get all my clothes from me. for example today i am wearing a green suit with matching earrings, a red and orange vest, and white glasses for show. i was wearing three orange lines on my face. i was walking, walking, walking, dancing, carrying, parading, getting shot, and walking all at once in Throne. The fog was especially green today, which I was very happy about. Al-Yisun stared at me in my mindscape of infinite time. I put up my middle finger at her.

[ignoredbellyaches]

YOU LOOK LONELY... I CAN FIX THAT.

Sequel fanfic based ENTIRELY off of @void-dude 's AMAZING, beautiful, and incredibly scrumptious work

If Bill could sweat, he would be sweating bullets.

Ever since that damned dream of his, he had an even harder time getting Sixer off his mind.

What the hell WAS that anyway?

Ford was so... large. Larger than life. Like he knew everything, that he was strong and Bill-

Bill so... small. tiny. helpless.

Is that what Sixer had felt like when he?—

Bill decided it better not to think about that.

Tonight, he HAD to get that dream... nightmare... thingamajig back for research purposes, of course. It was the only thing he had thought about, and if there's one thing he's learned in this infernal hell known as "The Theraprism™", it was that exposure therapy could be effective.

After all, how hard could it be? Bill was a master of the mindscape, and even if his powers were... slightly nullified, he could surely still control HIS mind. It would be a piece of cake. He would reenter that dream, investigate, and be out in a jiffy. Before he could lose his nerve, Bill lied down and began the meditation to slowly empty his mind. It had come easily to him, slowly shifting from reality to his distorted brain, and then gradually transitioning that world of chaos-filled memories to an empty canvas he could manipulate. For the first time in a long time, Bill felt in control. His mind returned to him, and not the sobered one he was forced to endure during therapy, but his REAL one. His safe place. His kingdom. It was momentary bliss.

Bill, holding onto that relief, opened his eye. He suddenly remembered why he was so hesitant to return to this.

There Ford was, in all of his glory. Bill didn't have to look down to know he was once again bare to the giant in front of him. He was vulnerable. Ford, or at least a cruel representation of him (was he forgetting what he looked like?) smiled down at Bill.

"My muse." Ford breathed out, a crackling pop sound overlaying his voice, one that was infinitely louder than any thought Bill had.

Ford reached out, plucking Bill up like he was nothing. He carded his fingers between Bill's limbs, caressing the triangle with such agonizing care.

Ford brought him closer, reminsicent of a kid looking at a strange bug they had found. "You've finally returned to me."

Bill felt just as exposed as the first time, blinking back unexpected and unwelcomed tears. He weakly extended his hand to touch Ford-

"Ah, ah, don't move yet."

Bill quickly drew his hand away, almost hurt at the command yet still obeying without thought.

"I want to admire you, just a second longer."

Bill breathed out heavily, his vision beginning to blur. It was getting too clouded, too close, too much- Bill wanted out. he didn't want this anymore, he didnt want to be near him again, stop TOUCHING me, DON'T TOUCH ME, STOP-

The overhead light glared at Bill, screaming at him to get up.

The dream was over.

Bill was alone again.

...

requests/asks are open : )

[atamascolily]

Poor Sayaka is really going through it in Walpurgis no Kaiten. First, she loses her healing abilities and gets so badly beaten she has to wear bandages across her face, then her memories start coming back and she has to cope with the fact that her entire life is a lie and she should actually be dead. Talk about trauma!

This shot suggests to me that Sayaka will go on some sort of internal quest to confirm the truth. This show being what it is, it's difficult to say if this scene represents an "internal" journey into Sayaka's mindscape, similar to Homura's first awakening in Rebellion, which features a mosaic of mirrors, or if this is more "external" venture into the Law of Cycles, of which Sayaka is still technically a part, but it's probably "both/and" rather than "either/or". The blue color scheme makes me think the former, but the piles of books with information about witches makes me think the latter. Is the sculpture a representation of Sayaka or is it the "emptiness" of the Law of Cycles without a human avatar?

Comparable scene in Rebellion? Also, I just now noticed that either the mosaics are rotating around Homura, or something very strange is happening in space. Probably both!

I can't find the interview at the moment, but I recall someone at SHAFT discussing how girls taken by the Law of Cycles aren't running around in Valhalla, as fans once thought, but are asleep and unconscious. (Cf. Homura calling it "the salvation of oblivion" in her opening monologue in Rebellion.) In one of my fanfics (itself inspired by a gorgeous series of fanart), the Law of Cycles is an art museum; here, it looks like SHAFT has made it a library, with each "book" containing information about the infinite number of girls and witches in all the parallel universes Madokami oversees. There's a very "Library of Babel" feel to this shot from the trailer that fills me with glee.

It's unclear if the parallel universe thing will come up in Walpurgis no Kaiten, but people have already spotted Magia Record witches in the trailer, and the entire game takes place in a single aberrant timeline, so if it's in the library, the library has to contain everything. How this works when MR has the doppel system, I have no idea, but also MR likely didn't exist in its current state when Urobuchi originally wrote the WnK script in 2014-5, so this is just Inu Curry taking the opportunity to squeeze in some more witches they designed for the game.

However, the MR anime, which Doroinu directed, ends with the doppel system collapsing and Iroha giving the "book" that represents her story to Madokami, appropriately titled "Magia Record". The title of the episode is "No One Knows Our Record", the implication being that magical girls are completely unknown except to the Law of Cycles.

One detail I like is that the English title is "reflected" in dark witch runes like shadows.

This book had a different cover and design than the books we see in the WnK trailer, but I think the general idea is the same--these books contain information about the witches (remember, "Magia" is also the name of the music that plays during witch battles in the original series) and are thus "records" of their existence. We see more of the books in a different shot,and some covers are quite elaborate, and others are a simple gold border; none appear to be "named" like the Magia Record book, or at least their titles are not visible in this shot.

It sure looks like this girl is rifling through the books to find something, doesn't it? Hmm....

The shot of one of these books opening in the second WnK trailer and runes spilling out suggests that more witches have emerged to complicate matters for Homura and the main cast, though "how" and "why" are open questions at this point. However, it's unclear if the books actually contain the witches/familiars themselves or merely information about them.

I think this shot could appear in a cryptic opening sequence that retroactively explains the entire plot, similar to Homura's soul gem falling through the window at the beginning of Rebellion, although the background lighting suggests it takes place in the same "blue" location that Sayaka is in above. TBD!

Giving away the entire plot in the beginning, but in a way that isn't obvious until afterwards, is a Madoka Magica tradition at this point.

Anyway, this is all a very roundabout way of saying that I think that when Sayaka starts having flashbacks about Oktavia, she's going to the library to do some research! And what she finds there will confirm her worst suspicions and likely trigger a whole new personal crisis where her loyalties will be tested and she is going to have to make some difficult choices.

[yukicustos]

Hi everyone, I just figured out the images from the last clue on his treat of ‘Bill’s Files’. Not sure if anyone else did it. I haven't seen it somewhere else yet.

It was really a map, for something. I just didn’t know what. I saw the thingy about the doc of the wallpapers, the theory was completely right, the images layer upon one another, but to create a bigger image, I knew it was it. So I went for it just for fun to see if it were like a collage. I connected where they could. 

The first ones are those from the doc on reddit GF, so I have to thank them for their views. After this, the Tree. I knew was the center of the image because, well. It's the page talking of the codes and all.

Then the connection with the thunder. Their heads seem to be drowning, even the tree at some point connects with earth and in some images you have to flip it horizontally. I just had to really look for boards and what in the image continues another. Bill's elbow literally places above the skull, it’’s wayyy too perfectly placed. Here some clues:

Also the mini story at the right side>>>

here appears to me the nightmare realm and how he’s dreaming of being somewhere else, singing we’ll meet again. remember: the place between realities is black and white. the image is black and white.

It seems here he’s cutting reality.

andd here. seems like he got it straight to the ‘physical world’ in a joyride slide.

Pure terror, to make these layers just give us more profound visual motifs of the layered universe and all.

Within the full image, we also have a mini story. There are two moons. (Moons are connected to our creative world.) Showing to us two different perceptions/awareness/universes. Whatever you feel most comfortable with; the Mindscape Realm Moon and the Nightmare Realm Moon. It starts with Fiddleford, using the gun to make him forget just like what we saw happen to Bill by being erased. We thought. But then, he uses the backdoor through the voidness. (Consciousness is also referred as the infinite ocean, all connected.) Bill explains to us a little bit in his book. And he talks of the Atlantis chapter implying he had made us forget about. Actually we had forget it loong time ago. It is just things in the depths of our universal consciousness.

The fourth state of consciousness is a state of awareness that transcends the waking, dreaming, and deep sleep states. It's also known as Turiya, which is a Sanskrit word that means "the fourth".

This backs up one theory of mine that Euclydia to being a state of awareness/consciouness, they got higher into those other realms. That’s why we see ‘LIFE FORM NOT FOUND’. I have a huge theory but I can only talk about this image right now.

The heads seems to point to it. And the part where he has a card up his sleeve, he had the idea of other parallels universes, it seems. But well, this is his seeing through other windows/people's eyes talking. A light bulb. A idea. Remember, beyond this full scope, there are the Cuckoo House that’s hiper realistic, and what is seems to be motifs of life and death. If he learned anything from Theraprism, to fullfil or least being able achieve some of his 'plan'. He has to humble down and pass through the reincarnation process. The images doesn’t say it, but he’s pointing at a bunker. Near there’s the message ‘KOOK’ putting in the website is literally the clue for the image, a big Cipher. Not in actual way he is now as we know it, but to be bigger/different/take another form. To being able to properly be here, he has to see the Bigger Picture.

idk if there’s a code or how to put it into the website so, if it is a code, someone pls could tell me because this is a clear reference to the computer.(i tried, not working, i know it points to other code of the stan twins but ???)

if there's any typo/grammar mistake i'm not native of this language so thks and ily for reading until this point<3

[adhdbisexualramblings]

I really like your Bill Regressor headcanons! Have you thought about a scenario where you describe the circumstances under which Ford was able to positively make him regress? I'd be curious to hear more about that!

Aaaaa thank you!! I’m glad people enjoyed them!

I have thought of that scenario, actually! And I will now give it to you in story form! It’s long so I’m putting it under the cut.

(The story takes place during The Book of Bill’s “drunk karaoke session” (spoilers by the way), meaning that there will be alcohol use and also regression while drunk (Bill has problems). As stated before, Bill’s regression is not typical. His regression is very subtle. I’m hoping I wrote it adequately. :) )

(I also got WAY too into the pre-regression part so apologies regarding that-)

(A quick note: I am aware the Bill and Ford are not great relationship-wise. This story isn’t saying that they are, only that they had good moments together. I’m writing this as a what-if scenario based on headcanons - do with that what you will.)

Title: What a Night

Another knight hops across the board to tear into a bishop with its newly acquired sharp teeth.

“Bill-!” The laugh in Ford’s voice couldn’t be clearer as the horse-shaped piece happily chews its opponent. “That’s not valid!”

“That’s a regular move in inter-dimensional chess! I think you’re just a sore loser.”

Bill swirls his glass and takes a sip himself before offering it to Ford, who takes it gratefully to drink a larger portion. The glass never empties.

“God, you mix a good drink.” He praises with a content sigh, slumping further into the comfortable velvet seat.

“They don’t call me the “universe’s best bartender” for nothin’, you know!” Bill blinks once and leans across the chessboard, knocking over a few pieces, “Wink!”

Stanford grins. He moves to grab a rook and jerks back when it snaps at his finger. He laughs joyously and retries.

“Well, I was Jersey’s best chess player for nearly a decade straight,” to the kids that would play against him, which weren’t many. Still, Ford boasts, “and I can’t assess your bartender thing - I don’t get out into the inter-dimensional bars too often, but you…your drink was…oh, boy,” he giggles, already feeling tipsy. Bill laughs loudly at that; it echoes through the Mindscape.

After many, many, chess rounds that ended in ties, the two companions are more wasted than ever.

“No, Bill, we’ve played We’ll Meet Again five times already.”

Bill pokes an accusatory finger at Ford, hogging their one microphone.

“Shhhut it, IQ. You - you just have terrible taste. ‘K?”

Ford huffs but lets the karaoke happen. He crosses his arms and waits on their couch while Bill slurs the lyrics, completely unaware of his  own volume level. Still, he seems to be enjoying himself. The music in the Mindscape stops. Bill droops in place as soon as it does, microphone dangling in his loose fingers. Singing his heart out to Vera Lynn each and every time probably wasn’t a great idea.

“…OK, I’m bored. Your turn.”

Ford catches the microphone tossed his way and grins widely. Bill replaces his spot on the couch, wiped out. He sighs deeply and adjusts his hat as Ford decides. All Bill needs is a little more pep, he’s sure of it. Hell, he’ll offer some to Fordsy, too. With a clunky wave of his hand, Bill’s “Myoclonic Jerk” appears in his hand. It wobbles in his lax grip before he grips it with both hands and chugs what would be the whole glass if the drink wasn’t infinite. A fuzzy feeling wraps around Bill instantly, and he’s too distracted to realize it’s more than the buzz of alcohol.

“Hey, Sixer!” He leans forward and holds up the glass double-handed like a trophy. Ford whips around from the handy little song selection screen. His eyes fall on the drink. He stumbles closer to the couch to take it.

“Hey, wo-oah, smaller sips.” Bill advises without much actual danger attached to it, clearly amused. He snaps his fingers, popping the drink out of existence after Ford’s share. Ford blinks at his empty hand in confusion, making Bill laugh again. It’s closer to a giggle this time. Ford gathers himself in time to glance at the selection screen.

“Oh, I picked som-something. C’mere.”

Bill floats up, finds himself unsteady, and conjures his cane to “help” him keep his balance despite the fact that the cane is no help at all. He stumbles some and giggles. Bill twirls the cane poorly, squinting at the screen.

“Disco Girl?”

Ford’s drunkenness doesn’t stop him from being self-conscious, it seems. He chuckles with a hesitant smile.

“It’s admittedly catchy.”

Bill crinkles his eye into a grin, bouncing a little.

“Hey, I’m stellar at keeping secrets, Fordsy!”

The song plays.

Saturday night is a night alright Time to groove till the morning light..

Bill knew of Ford’s guilty pleasure for the pop group, but the way he sang with such carefreeness for the entire three minutes had even the triangle surprised. Ford was similarly surprised and overjoyed when his companion also knew the lyrics.

At some point, Ford gets into the groove of the song and starts dancing along. Bill, also plenty giddy, follows suit.

Ford laughs between lyrics, a grin lighting up his features - the laugh booms around the Mindscape. It’s bright, hearty, and from the belly. Bill takes a moment to address the warm pit that laugh leaves in his body. He grins again and gets closer.

Their dancing stays separate for the most part, until Bill slings a hand around Ford’s shoulder and Ford grazes his hand long enough for Bill to feel it.

Bill freezes at the touch. Ford doesn’t, perfectly content. Slowly, Bill takes his hand away to stare at it with a wide eye. The part where Ford’s warm hand had touched his buzzes softly.

The fuzzy feeling from the alcohol and other factors increases. Bill blinks. An odd feeling wells up the longer he keeps thinking of the touch. He’s thinking so much that he doesn’t notice the song end.

“-Bill?” The voice calls.

The addressed demon blinks again - must’ve spaced out. He keeps his touched hand suspended and looks to Ford. The human stopped dancing a while ago and realized his companion had looked off.

Ford must have gotten concerned, Bill realizes. It makes Bill feel…nice.

He finds he wants something from Stanford. It’s not the portal or eternal servitude; Bill knows that’s not it. It ties to the fuzziness he’s been feeling. He decides to figure it out.

He grins and laughs, not fake in the slightest.

“Hah! Do that again!” Bill thrusts his hand to Stanford, the implication being clear as day in his mind, which is starting to feel even happier.

“…Do what?” Ford asks with an owlish blink. He looks down at Bill’s hand and looks to his own six-fingered one, gears turning. It finally clicks, “Hold your hand?”

Seeing nothing wrong with it and susceptible to suggestions, Ford fulfills the request and bring his hand to clasp it around Bill’s smaller one.

The warmth from Ford travels up Bill’s arm and only adds to the warmth in the rest of his body. Bill blinks silently again. Oh. Wow, that felt…comfortable?

Bill slips.

Without registering what he’s really doing, he leans into Ford and grips one of his fingers with his hand, moving to sit on his shoulder. Ford makes a little noise of confusion, to which Bill only giggles at. In a second, all the alcohol is figuratively flushed out of Bill’s system as his earlier excitement dies. Ford frowns.

“Bill? Are you alright?”

Bill gathers himself with a chuckle, “Pfft. Of course I am, Fordsy.” He lies.

Bill’s getting oddly sleepy. He was used to this tiredness, however; it went hand-in-hand with the fuzzy feeling. He squeezes Ford’s finger tighter, which doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Y’know what? It’s been a long night,” Bill starts, temping down the slight fog in his mind.

“…Has it?” Ford asks confusedly. Even intoxicated, he notices the behavior switch in his muse.

“O-oh, sure!” Bill finds that he’s unusually tired. It must’ve been the alcohol’s effect. He hopes his stammer isn’t noticeable, “I mean, this stuff’ll give ya a heck of a hangover.” He laughs falsely again, snapping his fingers.

Their couch immediately turns into a simple, cozy-looking, bed. Ford stares at it oddly.

Bill leaves Stanford’s shoulder but doesn’t let go of his hand. It gives him too much comfort.

“C’mon, kid. Let’s get you to bed.”

Without waiting for an answer, Bill physically pulls Ford toward the bed with impatience. Stanford stumbles at the sudden movement but follows anyway out of curiosity. He falls on the sheets, Bill falls after him.

It’s unsurprisingly comfortable. Ford had been low on energy, but hadn’t realized how tired he had truly been until now. Not bothering to take anything off, he sprawls out over the blanket.

Bill, meanwhile, lightly kicks his feet off the edge of the bed, sitting near Ford’s stomach. His feet don’t even reach the bottom. Bill stares at them swinging with attention and an oddly childish look in his eye. He giggles quietly before noticing that Stanford has already lain down.

Bill moves to hold Ford’s hand again and crawls closer to quietly lay next to him. Ford’s coat is made of fabric that Bill just found out is really comfortable. He snuggles closer to his side, making sure that the human’s sleep in the Mindscape won’t take him back to the waking world before Bill wants him to. He’ll let Fordsy wake up when he’s sober again. That sounded much better.

Ford doesn’t let go of Bill’s tiny hand - maybe he’s too tired to notice. Bill sighs quietly and flutters his eye closed.

In one movement, the karaoke in the Mindscape starts playing a slow lullaby on low volume and the blankets suddenly cover both Ford and Bill comfortably.

Bill turns his eye into a mouth and shoves his thumb inside, sucking on it soothingly. He squeezes a sleeping Ford’s finger tighter as he himself dozes off.

[theallianceofcelestials]

You know what's an amusing thing about the previous two Eclipses? The way the both of them were with Sun.

They were never kind to him, no, it would be foolish to say that either the first Eclipse or the backup Eclipse were kind to Sun. But regardless of which one we're talking about, Eclipse has always been more, indulgent with him.

When Sun first met Eclipse eye to eye after that fateful argument he had with Moon in Beta-10, Eclipse was... weirdly gentle? It's not even the correct word for it, but he appeared to indulge Sun and his anxious rambling, before shooting him down. He was also much more friendly than he was with Moon, probably because he did not see Sun as a threat, but still. He quite helpfully pointed out the exit point to Sun, and was acting kinda peacful. He was also less antagonistic, although he was definitely condescending.

When Sun exited the mindscape, he apologised to Eclipse, and Eclipse replied something like: "Oh, don't be sorry, only time you're ever sorry is when it actually IS your fault." which is obviously a jab. However, there's also a hidden admitance, that Sun is innocent, and is not at fault. It kind of feels like comfort from Eclipse? This was preluded by Eclipse admiting that Sun WAS a good person, but with issues (like everyone else lol).

Also, ever since Eclipse locked Sun and Moon into the Infinite Staicase SCP, and forced Moon to admit that he (Eclipse) IS better, seemed to have put more weight on Sun's opinion. Which can be clearly seen in the episode where Sun, having been fed up with Eclipse constantly throwing him and New Moon into things, exploded on him, and Eclipse just... left.

He also passed up some opportunities to actually hurt him? Like we now know, that Sun was tortured in the mindscape, but the first interaction we see between them, which is not a power struggle, Eclipse never got violent. He was a jerk, but a toned down jerk compared to how he was with Moon. Eclipse also, during the first ever video fully focused on him "Sun and Moon TRANSFORM into ECLIPSE in VRCHAT", said he was going to kill Sun, and then never followed through with it, even though he had the entirety of October to do so. Like my guy, do you or do you NOT want to kill him? You said you wanted to! Then actually do it, pussy!

And Eclipse is a killcode right? They said in the show that he is so. But compared to other people, he's actually kinda peacful. Like there are only a couple confirmed kills Eclipse has, like the homeless person he beat to death using Monty's body and the government official before that.

All these can be said to be little things, that Eclipse did not bother with, because they seemed like a waste of his time, but there is one piece of information he had, that could have destroyed both his enemies from the very beginning. A neat little fact. Moon wanted to kill Sun. He wanted to kill him, because he felt injustice at the fact that he was locked into their mind, and wanted a body of his own. The fact that it was their PLAN to do so.

Of course it was probably an intrusive thought of Moon, corrupted by his homicide code, and was probably his greatest shame. Before Eclipse that is. And it's obviously understandable why Moon wasn't jumping at the chance to tell this to his brother, the ONLY person he could fully, truly and wholly love and care about (before Lunar also appeared), but then why didn't Eclipse?

He could have won. He could have won before the brothers had a chance to realise how screwed they actually were, before the October Takeover, before the Wither Storm, before the infamous Beta-10 argument, before anything really. All he had to do, was basically poison Sun with this hate, and ruin any sort of relationship Sun and Moon ever had. Sure, probably when he would have first told it to Sun, he would've thought him a liar, but doubt eventually would have come. That was something Moon could not have countered in any form, and he probably would not have wanted to from how terrible he must have felt about that. Moon would have probably given up, if confronted with that information, because I don't think he'd have lied about something of that magnitude.

But alas, Eclipse never told (probably cuz Reed and Davis had no solid idea about it back then). This could have been such a powerful trump card from him. He could have ruined New Moon and Sun's relationship before it even began! Because back then Sun was still (understandably) more attuned to the Old Moon. So he would not have overcome it as easily, not saying he would do so now. Eclipse could very easily break Sun's fragile little sanity. And yet he never did. He never once even uttered anything similiar to it when in front of Sun. Sure he threw insults and taunts, basically tortured the guy for funsies, but this was a line he never once crossed. And I'm not sure why.

Eclipse had a strong ace up his (non-existent) sleeve, that he could have used anytime. At all times, it would have allowed him to win. But he never once used it. He took it with him silently, everytime he was defeated. I can't stress this enough.

This man had the chance to destroy his enemies with just a couple little words.

But both times he took it to his GRAVE.

Let's see if this one will too (:

[dndeceit]

Fander Fic Rec Friday (#16)

(Canonverse Recs)

The Puppet on a String series by DoomedKelpie Canon AU (Gen) Rating: T Janus isn't like the other sides. He doesn't have a fixed role or personality, changing to become whatever Thomas needs him to be. But when Thomas decides what he needs is to get to know Janus better, something has to change. Notes: I've rec'ed this elsewhere but it deserves another go around. Being a person is hard, even if you're only a fragment of one, and Janus just gets dropped into that mess and has to figure it out.

Learn to Fly Again by edupunkn00b Canon AU (Gen) Rating: G Thomas grows wings. The sides are varying degrees of helpful in helping him try to figure out why. Notes: A 5+1 wingfic written for the Sleepy Bean Cafe event, because as much as I love AUs, it's always a joy when people let loose and make the canon universe weird.

The Sweet Little Lies series by LeftoverParadox Canonverse (Loceit) Rating: T/M Logan goes looking for a way to try to understand Janus better. Through tea and lies, they begin to grow quite close. (Unfortunately, not everyone is happy with this development.) Notes: Probably one of my favorite Loceit fics ever. Roman and Patton are dicks about the relationship at the start, but a little forced self-examination never hurt anybody (too much) and things are more or less fine by the end.

Passion needs fuel by FeelingGroovySmooth Canonverse (Other) Rating: G Recent criticism from the other sides has sapped Roman's enthusiasm for his work. Remus steps in to intervene. Notes: I know I've rec'ed this one before as well, but as a writer this one touched me on a deep personal level, because it captures the artist's struggle with keeping motivation alive so well. (And the resolution, examining why the feedback of the other sides takes the form it does feels very in character for each of them. It's just really satisfying.)

Imagi-cation Getaway by Fandombead (MorningMist) Canonverse (Gen) Rating: G A series of vignettes built around the twins crafting each side their own unique vacations in the Imagination. Notes: Come get your fluff. Just good vibes making good use of the potential for infinite imaginary worlds available to the sides.

Feed Your Ego by Quarantinevibes Canonverse (Roceit) Rating: NR Roman is both touch-starved and starved for validation, and it's seriously beginning to affect both his self-worth and his ability to fill his role. Janus proceeds to try to help him...evilly, Remus enthusiastically, and Virgil... (well, he's a bit confused, but he's trying). Notes: Logan and Patton are very antagonistic in this, but the explanation for it is handled well. Ultimately it all makes sense in terms of how Thomas is doing (spoilers: Not Great).

the sides need to eat by xt1me Canonverse (Gen) Rating: G The sides, as metaphysical beings, have metaphysical appetites tied to their roles, and some hungers take more work to sate than others. Notes: This was posted as a headcanon or prompt, but I've always thought it works really well as a ficlet on its own merit. Honestly one of my favorites and an early influence in my own writing, because I love when the sides all get to be a little bit inhuman.

Virgil's no good, very bad week by megapichu Canonverse (Gen) Rating: T None of the sides are acting quite right, and it's putting Virgil on edge. Even the Others are effected, so nowhere is safe. But as long as whatever has replaced them is playing their parts, what can Virgil do but play along until he figures out what's going on? Notes: The Mindscape gets a little weird, effecting everyone except for Virgil, and the others make some very bad decisions in how to handle it. Nothing bad really happens and yet everything hurts.

Remus Cyrano Vaginercock by WizardGlick Canonverse (Moceit) Rating: T Janus is a pining dweeb and Remus decides to put him out of his misery. His plan: playing matchmaker by composing a love poem to woo Patton. Notes: Janus is a hopeless dork, Remus puts so much care into his scheme, and the commentary of the omniscient narrator is just hysterically funny.

Name Calling by NoblestRomanOfThemAll (AnxiouslyGoingIntoTheVoid) Canonverse (Gen) Rating: G Janus addresses Thomas's negative self-talk with a few pointed words...and a spray bottle. Notes: Just good advice and Janus looking out for Thomas, but there's also a very interesting angle in here on why the sides treat each other the way they do.

Everything Stays by WolfsBane54 Canonverse (Dukeceit) Rating: NR When they were younger they were a family, until Janus was forced by his role to lock Remus and Virgil away. Virgil managed to escape and fled, and Janus was alone. Years later, Janus frees Remus at last, knowing that he has to reap the violent consequences sooner or later. (Meanwhile, Remus emerges from captivity determined to get his vengeance, but to his consternation, Deceit's talent for always being one step ahead of him is...unfortunately kind of hot.) Notes: Janus and Remus start off at each others' throats, but somewhere in the middle of the Roadrunner and Coyote flavored lunacy they manage to fall for one another. (Which is good, because holy shit does Janus desperately need someone.) Also featuring: some of the most interesting depictions of the Imagination I've read, specifically it's treated as its own semi-sapient character, which is really cool. Also there's a kaiju battle.

[sombrathedragon]

I wanna give an info drop to you on Excalibur now because seriously it’s more like a swiss army knife than a sword

-Excalibur is one of two items part of “The Key Between Worlds” which was created as part of the intricate barrier between The Human and Fairy Kingdoms(which in itself was also part of an even greater barrier against Morgane)

The other key is with The Fairy King Oberon, but compared to Excalibur is far weaker

Excalibur meanwhile is NOT held by The Human King, but was instead locked away in The Realm of Spirits, but then brought into the human world by the now deceased High King Uthyr to find his long lost Son and true king, due to rightfully not trusting his half brother Vortigerne

Now to go over the abilities of Excalibur!

Firstly is it’s most bombastic, The Sacred Ray of Hope, which depending on how large of a chant he does will vary in sheer power. At its base however, with no chant, and while Arturius is still kind of a fledgling magic wise, it can cut down massive swaths of forests

however, with a chant, even at his weakest, it has gone as far as to shatter DIMENSIONS and nearly destroy spirits, even ones made of the concept of infinite possibilities. When built upon, it has also defeated and/or outright destroyed beings like The Ocean Spirit and more

However, it’s not JUST a murder beam, though it is effective at that

it also has the ability to guide the wielder out of any place, whether it be a field covered in mist, or an infinitely expanding maze, all he has to do is speak “Oh Ray of Hope, guide us towards the correct path” and the sword will not only shine, but clear the users mind so that they will go towards the correct direction

-Another ability is to act as a shield, against not only weapons but also magic, it actually does this naturally if the user is on the defensive against an opponent, and if against a normal, and ESPECIALLY against an amateur fighter, it will cause the fight to end near immediately because of it

-Finally is its main ability, and its namesake, The Key Between Worlds. Where the user can enter and exit into any realm and form, even the mindscape of others, which he uses to great avail against The Spirit of Fear Satanel

its main use of this ability however is to open a way between the realms and kingdoms, and when combined with the other key between worlds, will slowly bring an end to the barrier between the kingdoms

-it’s greatest ability however, is to bring together the mana and willpower of any others, which can help power the user and the sword to heights nearly unimaginable, and allow them to do the seemingly impossible!

and yeah that’s basically all about Excalibur!

“Mhm, ooh wow” I say while reading this, not even knowing what fandom it’s from

[pizzabox-box]

There was a mysterious door appearing somewhere, surrounded by dark, pulsating shadows. The door itself looked old and rotting, with moldy pizza crust framing its edges. Peppi-no entered the door into the long, empty hallways and dead ends that lead nowhere, with crumbling walls and floors that looked like they hadn't been touched in years.

The further Peppi-no went, the more the environment decayed, walls covered in strange, black goo, everything's cracking and falling away into an abyss below. After moments, Peppi-no arrived at a large room. In the center was a giant pizza, but it was rotten and moldy, its surface covered in a sickly green slime, with many flies flying on it like they did on the Doise's corpse.

Peppi-no stood trembling, as if frozen in place. Soon, the pizza's surface split open, revealing a grotesque face beneath the layers of moldy cheese. Its eyes were empty, black holes that seemed to stare directly at him, it let out a guttural moan. Peppi-no's face stretched, his mouth opening unnaturally wide, his eyes bulging out of their sockets. The giant moldy pizza's voice was a deep, distorted whisper, like it was coming from somewhere far away. He blames Peppi-no for his issues and misery caused from his devourment of the real Peppino and takes his form, saying that he's not the real Peppino and is not worthy of taking his pizza place, among other unpleasant things.

The pizza's face began to melt, thick, green sludge dripping from its mouth and eyes. The walls of the room started to close in on Peppi-no, the black goo from earlier seeping in and consuming everything in its path.

The story idea is based on jumpman animatic's Pizza Tower creepypasta "The Rotten Slice". You can see his creepypasta video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzpoKXB8Vi0

BOUND BY GUILT

Stepping through the door, Peppi-no found himself in a place not so different from his restaurant back in the tower. Seeing the bizarre surroundings and the infinite black void below he figured out this is simply one of many nightmares he had before. Regardless, he kept moving forward, watching as his surroundings became more and more disjointed with every step.

Eventually, he arrived in a large, open room—and froze. A giant pizza lays before him, rotten and moldy, its surface covered in a sickly green slime. Before the incident, he wouldn't have hesitated to take a bite out of it, but now it made his stomach turn in disgust. Not that he had a stomach, exactly, it was more of a multipurpose internal pocket,but we're getting distracted. The point still stands. This was the second most revolting thing he ever had to look at, only surpassed by the gory sight of a headless body.

As the pizza's surface split open, Peppi-no let his face distort into a grotesque version of itself, a defensive maneuver meant to scare away any would-be attackers. He expected the usual reversal of roles or a storm of words meant to discourage him from his future attempts at impersonating the person he had killed. And he was right. The pizza began to speak, it's voice deep , shaking Peppi-no's being to it's very core. Despite his best efforts to block out the words, a small part of Peppi-no knew that this was what he deserved.

But then, when the pizza took the form of Peppino, green ooze leaking out of the figure's eyes and mouth, something inside Peppi-no shifted. This was different. The room began to collapse onto itself, it's walls black and gooey.

As the black goo threatened to swallow Peppi-no whole, he realized that this wasn't just another one of his usual nightmares. There was someone,or something, different behind this one. With no clear way out, he fought fiercely against the gooey black walls closing in on him. But in the mindscape, physical strength means nothing,what matters is willpower. And Peppi-no, clouded by doubt and fear, was quickly overpowered by the oppressive mass coming at him from all sides. He could feel himself succumbing to the rot, his mind being breached, his senses slipping away.

"Hey! This idiot is mine to haunt. Scram !"

Another entity entered the scene, and with surprising ease, overpowered the attacking entity, throwing it off into the infinite horizon. Not sure how, but this is the mindscape we're talking about, real life logic, doesn't apply here. An eerie silence filled the space. The darkness surrounding Peppi-no felt different now, clearer, dotted with faint stars, almost like a night sky.

"Would you believe these phantoms? I look away for one second, and one of them's already trying to take over my job. Unbelievable..."

The ghost's form resembling a more lifelike figure, though with some distortions in place of his head.

But before Peppi-no could come up with a response, the Dead Man realized he's chit-chatting with the monster that had killed him. He froze for a moment, and an almost awkward silence echoed through the vast black void as the two entities, suspended in the inky darkness, tethered together by a single blood-red string, stared at each other.

Without uttering another word the ghosts form shifted into something more fitting for a haunting, his head glitching out, his blood-red eyes laser-focused on Peppi-no's very soul. Peppi-no had just escaped from one phantom's grasp, only to find himself at the mercy of an equally terrifying, vengeful, but familiar ghost. The Dead Man's glare alone filled Peppi-no with immense guilt. Peppi-no braced himself once more for what's to come.

But before they could get to it, the well known sound of his alarm snapped him back to the material world, signaling the end of this night’s series of nightmares, mostly consisting of reliving the moments from the perspectives of those he had hurt. He didn’t have time to think too deeply about his encounter, he had a restaurant to run, friends to meet, and an act to put up...

====

Read the story, got a inspired by it and carried away. I can see this being canon to the DMW AU as one of the many nightmares Peppi-no experienced. I imagine This takes place sometime before DMW part I. comic.

[ckret2]

Chapter 18 of Mabel has made the questionable decision to befriend human Bill (real title TBD), and the first chapter with an actual title!

After the emotional rollercoaster of the last chapter, this one's pretty lighthearted. Featuring: food poisoning, anti-intellectualist propaganda, ritual sacrifice, arson, burns, injury, cannibalism, and children almost dying. And friendship!

####

One of the things that came with immortality—mature, cosmic-scale immortality, not baby immortality like you found in vampires with a few measly centuries under their belts—was an expertise at meditation.

And it had nothing to do with being particularly wise, or serene, or enlightened (although Bill would argue he himself happened to be all those things). Even the most rambunctious, cantankerous, petty, spiteful, impatient, silly immortal in the multiverse could drop into a thoughtless trance deeper than the Mariana Trench with nothing but five seconds' notice that he had some time to kill and there was nothing interesting on TV. 

Most mortals struggled with this idea, the same way fish struggled to understand how it was so easy for land mammals to hold their breath underwater. They didn't understand that it was a necessary survival skill.

Some millennia were boring. "You've had every conversation you can imagine with every person you know, you won't see a fresh planet for an eon, you're floating in the void of space, and your only company is the glitter thrown off of dead stars" boring. So boring the only way to get through them was by holding your breath until they were over. And in those times, the only way to endure the soul-crushing mind-shredding suicide-inducing boredom of those long, slow, dull millennia was knowing how to productively dissociate for the next five thousand years without so much as needing a snack break.

Bill was very old. Bill was very good at meditating.

It wasn't doing him a bit of good.

He'd lost count of how many hours he'd spent meditating since his capture: sitting in the dark, legs crossed, hands on his knees, eyes shut, trying—trying—trying to do anything. Trying to astral project out of this prison. Trying to see into the mindscape. Trying to connect to the countless windows through which he could see all over Earth. 

Trying to feel the vast stores of pure energy that made up the core of his being.

He couldn't feel it.

And he was not terrified, he wasn't he wasn't he wasn't.

Surely the Axolotl hadn't taken that energy away—that would be infinitely cruel—but he'd done an amazing job of sealing it away. Bill was psychically dead when he was awake, helpless prisoner when he was dreaming. Here he'd thought the Ax was gonna help him avoid punishment.

Well, what do you do when you're in a cage and you aren't strong enough to break the bars? You pick the lock. Where could Bill find a psychic lock pick?

Someone knocked on the bathroom's doorframe. "Hey Bill?"

He snapped out of his futile meditative state. "Yeah?"

"Are you using the toilet or just lurking creepily?"

"Lurking creepily!"

Mabel pulled aside the curtain and turned on the light. "Do you wanna help me make a video on—"

"More than anything." Bill got to his feet and—ow—cracked his sore back. Meditating could keep you sane when you were in the deepest depths of sensory-deprivation boredom, but it didn't actually offer you any entertainment. Mabel, on the other hand, did.

He'd find a lock pick later. Something would come up. It always did.

####

The weaving camera only revealed a blurry patch of carpet and upholstery back before it managed to focus on its target: half a hot dog lying between the back of the sofa and the living room wall. "There it is!" Mabel said. "I knew I smelled something in here."

"Wow, look at the colors on this thing! The green splotches kinda look like tie-dye," Bill said. "Hey, nobody's had hot dogs since you locked me up, have they?" There was a moment of silence as they tried to figure out how long that hot dog had lain, cold and forgotten, behind the couch.

Then the camera jostled as Mabel tried to reach past it to the food. "I'm gonna eat it."

"I'm gonna eat it."

"Hey!"

Bill's arm stretched past Mabel's, snatched up the hot dog, and disappeared. 

"Biiill! I wanted to try it!"

"No way, it's mine now! You snooze, you lose, kid!"

Mabel whipped the camera around to focus on Bill's grinning face as he inspected his prize. "Hey, this thing's growing mushrooms! It's provided its own condiments!" He held Mabel back at arm's length as he shoved the hotdog in his mouth, chewed quickly, and swallowed.

"Jerk," Mabel said. "How did it taste?"

Bill looked thoughtful. "Kinda sour and vinegary," he said. "Probably from the mold."

"Gross! Do you think it was safe to eat?"

Cheerfully, Bill said, "We'll know in a few hours, won't we?"

####

Mabel sat outside the downstairs bathroom with the camera turned toward the curtained doorway. A radio on the floor playing a Sev'ral Timez song unsuccessfully drowned out the sound of Bill heaving into the toilet.

One trembling arm reached out of the bathroom toward the radio. Bill croaked, "You're my only proof that time is still passing." He feebly patted the radio. "Tell me the universe keeps moving forward. Songs play. Moments end. I'll be free again." He made a choking noise and the arm quickly withdrew.

Mabel turned the camera toward herself. "And that concludes Mabel's Guide to Indoor Foraging! Tune in next time for... I don't know, how about animals?"

Bill replied with a deathly wheeze as he inverted his stomach.

"Animals it is!"

####

Mabel's Guide to Animals

####

The camera opened on a shot of the living room sofa, where Bill sat cross-legged and grinning next to a large easel pad. The first page of the pad was covered in drawings of cute animal faces, birds, fish, and (closer to Bill's side) skulls, lightning, and triangles.

From behind the camera, Mabel said, "Welcome to Mabel's Guide to Local Animals—"

"I'm helping," Bill said.

"—featuring Bill Cipher as my cohost!"

"That's me!"

"Yes it is. Lots of different systems have been proposed to help categorize animals—"

"These are called 'taxonomies,'" Bill said.

"—but together, we've picked out some of the best, most useful ways to categorize the animals of Gravity Falls. Such as: size!"

Bill flipped the first page of the easel pad, revealing a page covered in drawings of a couple dozen creatures ranked in size from mosquito up to lake whale.

"Color!"

Bill revealed a page with animals arranged in rainbow order. (Several of the overwhelmingly brown population had been circled in various hues of blue, purple, green, and pink, as Bill made mental notes to himself on how he'd recolor some of Gravity Fall's more visually boring creatures. Mabel had stuck star stickers beside the ideas she liked the best.)

"Friendliness!"

Another flip, and four columns capped by faces ranging in emotion from smiley to angry. The angry column was very long, but several creatures had been scratched out and hopefully moved to the sorta-smiley column.

"How good they taste!"

Bill turned another page to reveal a list of animals ranked by flavor, and said, "And a very important follow-up..." He turned another page to reveal one titled "How Many Times You Can Survive Eating It." There was a lot of overlap between the previous page's "Delicious!" column and this one's "Only Once" column.

"Super important," Mabel agreed.

Bill said, "You can also sort animals by..." Flip. "Quantity of bones!" Bill's handwriting utterly filled the page. It was unnervingly thorough. He'd listed "humans," "human babies," and "toothless humans" as three separate species.

Flip. "Planet of origin!" There were twelve different headings, only one of which was in English. One heading titled "?????" simply had a doodle of Bill underneath.

Flip, revealing a pie chart. "Percentage of known timelines in which a species has conquered the Earth!" Bill pointed at a slice that took up almost a quarter of the chart. "Humans are in the lead!"

"Yes!" The camera jiggled as Mabel pumped her fist in the air. "USA! USA!" Her chanting petered out. "Hey—what's that bit next to it—?"

"Don't worry about it." Bill smacked his hand over the pie sliver labeled "Bill" and quickly turned the page.

Mabel said, "Anyway, after several rounds of rigorous scientific debate, we've determined the most efficient and useful way to categorize the various creatures in Gravity Falls: the Fuzziness Scale!"

Bill gestured proudly at the heading on the final page, and then pointed at each category as Mabel listed them off.

"Starting with hard animals—"

Bill said, "Such as turtles and rocks."

"—then crunchy ones—"

"Roly-polies, ants, and baby turtles."

"—then smooth and firm—"

"Snakes and fish."

"—smooth and squishy—"

"Slugs, pigs, and Soos."

"—part fluffy, part bald—"

"Humans and winged snakes."

"—regular fluffy—

"Cats, dogs, and bears."

"—extra fluffy—"

"Alpacas and baby chicks."

"—and super deluxe MAXIMUM fluffy!"

"Tarantulas!"

Mabel said, "Our primary goal is to offer the scientific community a new, more accessible taxonomy that everybody can enjoy!"

Bill said, "And our secondary goal is to remind humanity of the inherent futility and cruelty of categorization! Reject boxes, embrace irregularity, and destroy the tenuous connections between concepts and synapses that you call 'knowledge'!" He pointed directly at the camera. "Return to the times of Icarus when humans could fly because no one had taught them they couldn't! Raze your universities, turn your libraries into origami, and execute your teachers as witches! Burn it all down!"

"Burn it down!" Mabel cheered. "Burn it DOWN, burn it DOWN—"

####

From atop the kitchen table, the camera recorded the stove, upon which the easel pad lay engulfed in flames. Mabel and Bill watched the mini-inferno silently.

Mabel turned to Bill. "I'm gonna get some sticks so we can roast marshmallows."

"Good idea. I'll watch the fire and not make it worse."

Mabel shot him a skeptical look.

"I promise."

"I'm holding you to that!" Mabel jogged from the room.

Bill glanced out the kitchen doorway to make sure she was gone, turned toward the stove, and slowly, ever so slowly, stuck one finger into the flames. "A—"

####

Mabel smiled at the camera. "Welcome back! My co-host has been banned from the rest of this episode so he can reflect on his behavior."

Behind her, Bill, one hand bandaged and face covered by a paper bag that read "PLAYED WITH FIRE," said, "It was worth it!" He'd persuaded Mabel to draw his triangle face over the text.

"So, now that you know several ways to categorize the creatures of Gravity Falls, you can go meet them! And hopefully befriend them!" Mabel said. "Now, meeting animals is difficult, but there's several ways you can make it easier! Such as fishing, going to a petting zoo, sneaking into your friends' homes to talk to their pets, disguising yourself as an animal—"

Bill threw in, "Using a spell to summon them."

"Using a spell to su— Doing what?" Mabel stared at him. "Do you know a spell to summon animals?"

"Oh yeah, it's easy!"

"What kinds of animals."

"Any animals in hearing range," he said.

Mabel gasped. "Can you teach me?!"

"Sure! It's easy. You've gotta be a girl, put on the fanciest dress you own, stand somewhere in the open, sing a song—"

"What song?"

"You make it up on the spot. It's one of those 'sing from your heart' deals."

"Oooh, Mabel likey."

"The most important part is keeping your mind focused as you sacrifice a..." Bill hesitated, glancing toward the camera, and said, "Well, the whole world doesn't need to know this trick, do they?" He covered the camera lens with his hand, and the screen went black.

####

Bill shot from the attic window as Mabel stood on the picnic table in a frilly lime green dress and a dozen multicolor bead necklaces and held up a cardboard sign for the camera that read, "Summoning animals with magic: ATTEMPT ONE!" She gave Bill a thumbs up. Visible from the edge of the camera's shot, Bill gave one back.

She tossed the sign aside, turned toward the trees around the shack, and started singing into a megaphone loudly enough that the camera faintly picked it up: "My name is Mabel, queen of the animals! I want all creatures to be my pals! La-la-la—um—la-la, la—be my best friends foreveeer!"

"Hey, she's not bad at this," Bill muttered. "Even got a rhyme in." He panned the camera around the scene as squirrels, rabbits, gnomes, and other small critters curiously emerged from the tree line. A couple of deer watched thoughtfully.

"To animals everywhere, small and huge—come to me and I'll give you a hug—aaAAAH!" Mabel jerked up the hem of her skirt and hopped from foot to foot. "Bugs, that's so many bugs! Ack!" She shakily resumed singing, "Um—The queen of the animals is friends with bugs too... but it'd be cool if you didn't... climb on my shoe...?" She started. "YEEK!"

The camera wiggled as Bill flinched. "Oh, uh-oh, M—Mabel, watch out—!" He banged on the window. Mabel evidently didn't hear. Under his breath, he muttered a word not designed for human tongues but that probably should have warranted washing his mouth out with soap. And then a giant hand with fingers like tree trunks reached from the woods and snatched up Mabel.

The world blurred and bounced past the camera as Bill tore across the attic, screaming, "WHATCHERNAME-MABEL'S-BROTHER YOUR SISTER'S GETTING STOLEN IT'S NOT MY FAULT—"

####

Bill aimed the camera through the tiny window in the front door to watch as Dipper and Mabel limped back to the shack—weary, dirty, clothing torn, sticks and leaves in their hair, arms slung over each other for support. Bill stepped back as they opened the door. Brightly, he said, "Hi, kids! Have fun?"

Dipper gave him a murderous look. Exhausted, Mabel looked at the camera and said, "This has been Mabel's guide to... how not to befriend the local animals." She slithered out of Dipper's grip and lay on the floor. "I'm gonna take a nap here."

Dipper looked tiredly at Mabel, then glared again at Bill, then just sighed and muttered, "Bill, take that stupid bag off." He trudge up the stairs. "This is all your fault."

"Is not!" Bill called; but the camera picked up his quiet chuckle.

The view dropped to the floor as Bill decided his amateur cameraman duties had been completed, recording his feet as he walked into the kitchen to leave the camera on a counter. He didn't turn it off.

It caught the scene through the kitchen doorway as Bill tossed his paper bag mask aside and surveyed Mabel on the floor, hands on his hips. He crouched in front of her and loudly whispered, "Hey. Shooting Star. Can you hear me?"

She didn't respond.

"Out like a light," Bill murmured. He studied her face; and then gently placed a fingertip on her forehead. The camera recorded his lips moving as he murmured, too quietly to pick up: videntis omnium, magister mentium...

He finished his chant. Nothing of any note happened. Bill frowned, stood, and sighed.

And then, after a moment of shifting his weight as though debating what to do next, he knelt back down, awkwardly picked Mabel up, and carried her upstairs. He paused cautiously on each stair step to ensure he didn't trip. A few minutes later, the camera watched him stumble back downstairs, trudge into the living room, and turn on the TV.

Half an hour later, Waddles wandered into the entryway and Bill went into the kitchen, came back with a stick of dry chorizo, ripped off chunks with his fingernails, and tossed them to Waddles while singing a song he'd made up about cannibalism. And then he returned to the living room and Waddles wandered upstairs.

Nothing else of interest happened. The camera kept on recording, forgotten, until the battery died.

####

[cosmic-navel-gazin]

If this doesn't make any sense it's because I've only slept for 3 hours last night (and lost the first draft for this two times!!!!!!) but anyway,

Another thing I love about Signalis is the way it mixes two apparently contradictory genres: psychological horror and cosmic horror (two of my favourites yey!), and the way it weaves the two together beautifully in a way where I don't know where one begins and the other ends... Aaaarghhhhh it's so good.

It's so fuckin good.

The way the infinitely small, personal, comprehensible, internal mindscape of a person, their thoughts, their deepest regrets, fears and wishes, are made into the infinitely and terrifyingly large, the all-encompasing, the incomprehensible, the unknowable, the uncontrollable.

( spoilers )

The way Ariane's inner world is "painted" on top of reality, like it's layers of paint in an oil painting.

And speaking of paintings! I fee that the choice of having Ariane be an artist is so important overall! Like -

As an artist, Ariane exteriorizes her inner world through her art, into her paintings.

As a god-like being, she exteriorizes her inner world into reality.

What if god was an artist, who was in terrible pain, and the cosmos was her canvas.

Except Ariane has even less control of that than her paintings. The changes made to reality, while coming from a genuine place and feelings, are out of her control. The same way you'll make choices during a painting that come from some place deep inside you that you aren't directly in control of/aware of, that's how much control Ariane has of bending reality. No harm is meant, the problem is everyone is stuck, herself included, inside one of her paintings.

The way the story/reality loops with different details every time, some things added, others subtracted, the same way an artist will go through different drafts or do variations of a piece, the same way Ariane will paint variations of the Isle of the Dead again and again, every time a little different... And every time, she is left unsatisfied with the result, longing for a different outcome, longing for some sort of peace, she tries to start over again, both paintings and reality itself, both could be seen as her wish for death and peace made manifest.

Also just, the way you walk through both the new painted reality of the world, and her paintings made manifest in those small first person sequences, aaaarrrrrhjgjhrhr paintings are abandoned just as timelines/loops kjdhfjfdsfka everything is paintings, everything is a small glimpse into her life, her hell!

Gods as artists, artists as gods, my beloveds.

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Triangulum - Prologue - The Shelduck's Game

— — — — — — —

All was still.

It had been still in that particular neck of the Gravity Falls woods for almost a full year.

The residents of the nearby town knew better than to venture too close, and their sentiments were shared by the beings—animal and supernatural alike—who had formerly occupied that part of the forest. Even the Manotaurs had long since abandoned their nearby man cave—and if even the self-proclaimed representations of manliness themselves wouldn’t dare approach the area, then the rest of the population was in no hurry to do the same.

Such stillness made every step from a pair of unknown feet more prominent, twigs and foliage snapping beneath them as their hooded owner moved swiftly through the underbrush. And despite the darkness of the night sky above—with only a few stray moonbeams through the leaves of the canopy layer acting as a light source—their pace was quick and undisturbed as they ventured deeper into the woods, only broken once they finally arrived at their destination.

A destination in the form of a triangle-shaped statue, half-embedded in the soft earth.

The forest had clearly made several attempts to claim it. Twisting vines had curled themselves around the limbs like the ribbons on a present, and the patches of stone that were usually exposed to the sun's rays during the day were now illuminated with a soft glow from the moon’s gentle gaze.

But despite nature’s best efforts, it still remained.

Remained with an open hand on a permanently-outstretched arm. 

Waiting for the day someone finally came along to make a deal.

The mysterious figure stood still for a few minutes, their gaze locked on the singular eye that made up most of the triangle’s face. And after another minute of staring, their footsteps—those still-shattering footsteps—began again, this time to close the gap between them and the statue.

And once that gap was properly closed, the figure’s own arm extended towards the statue—

—and an orange, feathered hand clasped around its stone one.

There was a faint spark in the triangle’s single eye—the first sign of life it had shown in months—before the figure vanished in a flash of light, that little bit of life fading back to nothing with their departure.

And much like the statue itself, all fell still again.

— — — — — — —

“You’re a real wise guy, but you made one fatal mistake! You messed with my family!”

“YOU’RE making a mistake! I’ll give you anything: money, fame, riches, infinite power, your own galaxy! PLEASE! NO! What’s HAPPENING to me?!”

“!NRUTER YAM I TAHT REWOP TNEICNA EHT EKOVNI I !NRUB OT EMOC SAH EMIT YM, L-T-O-L-O-X-A-”

“STAN- LEEEEEEY —”

The first thing Bill was able to process was the fact that he was still screaming.

The second was that he was able to scream at all.

Despite the lack of a mouth (or lungs, if some nerd wanted to get annoyingly technical with the anatomy of a triangle), Bill’s chest rose and fell at a hyperventilating pace, his singular pupil rapidly darting back and forth as he took in his surroundings.

He was lying flat on his back with his face pointed upwards, although a closer examination revealed that an attempt to label any three-dimensional directions would be entirely pointless. Kinda hard to have an ‘up’ or ‘down’ when all that surrounded you was an endless, white void.

He rose up from what could be considered the ground, and hovered in place for a moment. It was the mindscape, that much he could deduce at a glance alone. And a grateful lack of the Mystery Shack living room—or a furious, elderly man about to punch him into oblivion—implied it was highly unlikely that he was still inside the mind (or whatever was left of the mind) of Stanley Pines.

But if not his mindscape, then where—

“Oh, hey, you’re here!”

The sound of an unknown voice behind him spun Bill around in midair, with far less dignity than he would’ve preferred. “Hey pal, who d’you—think…”

Any potential anger that might’ve been building vanished in an instant as Bill got a good look at the peculiar being before him. 

First obvious thing of note was that they were clearly not human. Rather, they looked to be some sort of anthropomorphic duck or duck-like creature—similar to the ones from the dimensions with that annoying rat who liked to get a bit too pushy with how he ran things. Quantum Destabilizer to his head regarding the specific breed of duck, however—they were probably some kinda shelduck? He was pretty sure those had orange feathers.

They were also about five-feet tall by mortal measurements, and the garish color of their feathers was only outshined by their eccentric clothing choices. The first part of their outfit to draw Bill’s eye was their jacket; an extremely tacky windbreaker composed of a multitude of colors in light pastel shades. Paired alongside with a radically-patterned shirt, sporty red shades, and a necklace with a charm in the shape of an orange, they looked to be the poster child of the word ‘hideously tacky’. 

Either that, or ‘retro’. 

…Eh, he’d settle for ‘hideously retro.’ 

“Glad to see you’re up and about,” the duck continued as they took a few steps closer to him. “Honestly, I had no idea if shaking your hand was actually going to work, after everything that happened to you. I mean, getting set on fire? Shattered into pieces? Erased from existence?!”

They stopped and tapped their bill thoughtfully. “Plus there’s the fact that your actual resting place was somewhere completely different—” Their hand moved to the side of their bill with a cheeky grin. “—and whew, buddy, as much as I wouldn’t mind waiting around for a man like ~that~ to get back to town, I have a million things I need to do today and don’t need to make it a million-and-one!”

Smiling wider, they reached up to nudge at him with their elbow. “Eh, eh, know what I mean?” they asked with a wink, before letting their arm fall again. “Nah, I guess you wouldn’t. The point is, it worked! Because here you are, back and better than ever!”

Before Bill could get even a word in, they raised a finger. “Okay, so I know you probably have a looooot of questions to ask,” they said, and began to tick off the remaining fingers on their hand. “Who am I? How I do know so much about you? Why did I bring you here in the first place?” 

The ticked off fingers morphed into a roll of the wrist. “Yadda, yadda, yadda, point is, you probably have a ton of questions that need answers. Well, lucky for you, that’s exactly what I’m here to do!”

A pause. “Well, not here here, we’ll have to wait until we’re actually in my office before I explain the situation more clearly,” they clarified. “Accidentally left all my flashcards and presentation material in there, and if I try to cover all the basics without ‘em, I know I’m going to forget something important. And that'd just be really inconvenient for everyone involved! But once we’re there, I promise I’ll tell you everything you need to know!”

Smiling wider, they folded their hands together and stared at him; a likely indication that they had finished talking. And if that wasn’t enough, they quickly clarified with: “Sorry, I know that was probably a lot to take in, but I’m done for now if you have anything you wanna add.”

It took a lot to surprise Bill Cipher.

With his vast collection of knowledge, near-perfect omniscience, and countless other abilities that had brought whole dimensions to their knees, it was a rarity for him to come across anyone or anything that might actually catch him off guard.

All that aside—

—heh?

Credit where it was due, Birdbrain wasn’t wrong about the amount of questions currently bubbling around in his brain. Accuracy of their questions was also pretty spot on, although it didn’t take a genius to guess the answer of that last one.

There was only one reason anyone ever sought him out, and it wasn’t to trade fashion tips (although it was hardly necessary in this case; the guy looked like a sentient arcade carpet straight outta the Dimension That’s Perpetually Stuck In A Heavily Romanticized Version of the Mid-Eighties-Slash-Early-Nineties).

They were looking to make a deal.

If Bill had a mouth, he’d be smirking at the thought. Boy, back less than two minutes and he already had some chump lining up to make a deal with him, huh?

Had he suddenly transformed into a stupid human child leaving a medical checkup, one being rewarded for the state of their unimpressive and fragile immune system with a piece of cheap candy?

Because it sounded an awful lot like he was being handed a free sucker.

And while normally he’d snatch up a chance like that without a second thought—

"You made one fatal mistake..."

He tensed as Stan’s words forced themselves back to the front of his mind, along with the vivid memory that accompanied them. The sinking feeling of realization as he came face to face with the wrong twin. The panic blossoming in tandem with the flames engulfing Stan's mind, ones eager to swallow both of them in their destruction.

The agonizing pain as his entire being violently shifted between forms in a desperate attempt to escape, before a single punch from Stanley’s fist shattered him like glass—

“You’re a lot quieter than I was lead to believe.”

And suddenly the duck was leaning uncomfortably close to his form, a studious expression on their face as they stared him up and down. “Did I do something wrong?” they asked. “Pretty sure I just needed to shake your hand to make a deal, right? Unless someone happened to change the rules while I wasn’t looking.” 

With a huff, they placed their hands on their hips and stared off in one direction of the white void. “I will say that if they did, it was a real jerk move!” they called out in a mildly-scolding tone. “I spent months doing as much research on you I could, and if I did all that prep work only for something new to come out just as we start talking, then I’m gonna be pretty annoyed!”

While the duck rambled on, Bill floated backwards from them with an indignant glare. Only time he was fine with people getting that close to him was when he was the one invading their personal space.

Although they raised a good point; he was being far too quiet. 

Even the deadest silence spoke volumes and the last thing he needed was for them to potentially backtrack on the idea of making a deal at all.  Unpacking everything else could come later, he couldn’t afford to pass up a chance to make a deal with some obviously-willing sucker.

In the meantime, he had to throw them at least one bone. Or, them being a duck and all, at least one breadcrumb. 

Ha. Hilarious.

Another shift of his pupil as he looked them up and down. Well, if they really wanted him to add to the conversation, there was nowhere better to start than with the obvious.

“Sorry, Birdbrain, guess I kinda short-circuited just from staring at the war crime in fifty-seven dimensions you call an outfit,” he said aloud, raising a hand to shield his eye. “Yeesh! Forget an eyesore, I’m getting a full-body ache just by looking at you!”

Yeah, that’d work.

In all honesty, their fashion sense was actually right up Bill’s alley. Bright, tacky colors that made it difficult to stare at the person wearing them for too long? Hideous, brilliant, absolutely something he could see himself wearing if the situation called for it.

But it wasn’t like they needed to know that, and hey; they called it low-hanging fruit for a reason.

Surprisingly enough, the duck actually smiled with amusement at his little quip. “Oh, well, the shirt was a gift from a friend,” they explained, and gently gripped the edge of their windbreaker. “But I got the jacket in the Dimension That’s Perpetually Stuck In A Heavily Romanticized Version of the Mid-Eighties-Slash-Early-Nineties. It’s my favorite place to shop for clothes~!”

It was almost scary how well he could read people sometimes. “Yeah, no kidding,” he said with a cackle. “Didja wake me up so I could point you in the direction of somewhere to buy clothes from this decade?”

“No, no, my fashion sense is a choice,” they said, holding up a finger. “But that’s not what we’re here to discuss! As I said before, I’ll be able to explain everything once we’re in my office. So we—oh, wait, hold on a sec.”

The duck clapped their hands together, and as they did (and as Bill watched), something began to rise up from the ‘ground’. It continued to expand upwards—the shape slowly resembling that of an upside-down horseshoe—and before long, a tall, curved archway towered above them. 

The archway’s appearance was fairly unordinary, with the only exception being a small sign at the very top center, labeled with nothing but a clear picture of an orange (or was it a tangerine? Eh, details; a fruit was a fruit). And at a glance, nothing lay beyond the other side aside from the continuation of the endless void. 

At least nothing that could be seen by the naked eye.

…Which meant there was a ninety-percent chance that there was plenty to see with an experienced eye.

“There we go,” the duck said. “This will lead us to the main part of my mind, aka my office. There, we can go over all the terms and conditions of the deal I wanna make with you!”

They flashed him a bright grin. “Like I said, forgot all my flashcards and stuff in there, and I’d rather not go over everything without them.”

Without waiting for a response from him, they hurried forward through the archway. As Bill had initially suspected, they seemed to vanish into thin air as they passed beneath it; a confirmation that the archway was really some kind of door to the deeper parts of their mind.

Rather than immediately follow after them, Bill instead turned his attention back to the endless void while he gathered his thoughts.

Okay, a quick assessment of his current situation; Punched in face. Exploded. Died. Woke up to a badly-dressed duck—one who clearly had more than a couple of screws loose in a way that teetered the line between hilarious and annoying —looking to make a deal.

The latter was hardly the weirdest thing to ever happen to him. Probably didn’t crack the top hundred, or even the top thousand. A talking duck in tacky clothing? Just another Sñeaturday night for him.

The former, however—

One fatal mistake.

His eye flashed red with abhorrence as Stan’s words once again hammered against the inside of his skull. In his desperation to shatter the barrier around the town, to put a stop to anything that would keep him from being finally, truly free—

—he’d foolishly miscounted the number of fingers on a hand.

His own hands balled into fists as the implications behind Stan’s oh-so-clever little plan finally started to take hold. No—not Stan’s plan. There was no way some two-bit con-man with daddy issues had been able to string together enough (likely-pickpocketed) braincells to come up with such an elaborate plan on his own. And even if Stan hadn’t outright admitted to disguising himself as Ford, it didn’t take a genius to guess that he hadn’t pulled the stunt by himself. It took two to tango, and it also took two twins to swap places with each other.

And if one twin had been in charge of lulling him into their trap, that left the other free to pull the trigger on the gun.

One fatal mistake. One fatal mistake—

Ford had never planned on giving him the equation at all! He’d been deceived, tricked, played for a fool—

—and the worst part is that it had worked.

After all the knowledge he had provided to Ford over the years, after everything he had promised him in their success, he had thrown it all the way for the sake of his…his stupid family!

What a fool he was, and what a fool Bill had been for ever considering him a valuable and trustworthy ally in his plans.

And thanks to Ford’s betrayal, it was almost certain that things had settled back to normal in the mortal realm, with every trace of the Nightmare Realm being forcibly pulled back into the decaying dimension they called home. 

Which meant Bill certainly wouldn’t be getting a hero’s welcome once he returned. He’d promised his buddies a party that stretched on until the end of time, not some half-baked event that only last a few, measly human days. 

Even if everything was the fault of that ungrateful jerk and his stupid family, Bill would still be the one dunked headfirst into a bowl of multidimensional salsa the second he stepped foot back into the realm.

Thanks to Ford and his stupid family, he had no more backup attempts, no more portals, no Henchmaniacs, no more suckers he could puppet around or trick into doing his dirty work—

Thanks to Ford, he had nothing.

“By the way, I should probably let you know—”

“ACK!”

Bill was once again flung backwards out of sheer surprise as the duck’s head poked back out of the portal. A motion that earned an apologetic laugh from them, their hand also appearing out of the archway as they pressed it to their bill. “Sorry! Sorry, I forgot to tell you something important!” 

Bill narrowed his eye at them. “You know, you’ve got a real knack for sneaking up on people, Birdbrain,” he said, muffling his annoyance with a laugh. “Can’t pretend I’m not impressed, though. If you were some slithering, poisonous snake in the grass and I a pathetic, unsuspecting human full of vulnerable red blood cells and no immunity to venom, I’d probably be dead by now!”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” the duck said proudly. “But what I wanted to tell you was that even if you aren’t interested in making a deal, you’ll need to come in and let me know.”

Both hands were now outside the archway, raised in a shrug. “You know, just so I can pop you back, no harm, no foul?”

Their arms fell along with their expression as they peered closer at him. “Hey, is everything okay?” they asked. “I realize I’m probably moving a little too fast, especially after what happened in the last mind you were in. So I can understand any hesitance on your part…”

They cast him a look of sympathy, hands clasped together as they stepped all the way back out into the white void. “And if you need some time to think it over, I’ll understand. I know I said earlier I had other things I needed to be doing today, but that was all talk! We can take as long as you need to decide.”

Bill’s eyebrow narrowed at their concern. Hey, just because they were right about his hesitance didn’t mean he had to actually admit to that being the case. Especially not now that they’d caught onto that hesitation twice.

Once was easy to pass off as their mind playing tricks on them. Twice was a bit more difficult, though not impossible. Especially not when you were a master at twisting a conversation to your favor.

Another joke at their expense would probably do the trick. Clothing was out, he’d already poked fun at their hideous style and stretching a bit too thin always came with the risk of the tormented building an immunity through overexposure. Not that Birdbrain had exactly been bothered by—

Hmm. 

That could work.

With a chuckle, he raised a hand in the air to summon his cane. “Hehe, I don’t know what all that research told you, Birdbrain, but if you’re really standing there and trying to imply that I might be nervous about making a deal—” 

After giving it a little twirl, he jabbed the end of the cane against their arm. Not so hard that it would hurt, but with just enough force to make them wonder if harm had been the intent. “—you must not know me as well as you think you do~!”

He paused, and reached up to tap one of his sides thoughtfully. “Speakin’ of knowing people, though, I know you’re all eager to get to your big fancy-schmancy brain office to tell me what’s what,” he said. “But normally when I go dumpster-diving into someone’s mind, I at least like to catch their name first.”

He delivered another poke to their arm with his cane and batted his eyelashes at them. “Unless Birdbrain is your actual name and I’m just the Multiverse’s best guesser~?" he asked. "…I mean, I’ll probably still call you Birdbrain after I get a name, but it’s always nice to have options, y’know?”

There, a nice excuse that also doubled as a half-truth; not once in the entire conversation had Birdbrain actually given him a name.

And while he and the concept of truthfulness weren’t exactly on speaking terms, half-truths were the redheaded stepchildren he was happy to associate with their presence was required for his own benefit.

If the duck had actually been bothered by either jab from his cane, or if they hadn’t been fooled by his attempt to shift the conversation, they showed no indication of such in their expression. 

If anything, their smile only widened further at his request. “Oh, that’s actually a good point!” they agreed, and pressed a hand to their forehead. “Got so caught up in the details that I almost forgot to introduce myself! And knowing me, I would’ve gone through my whole presentation and not even thought about it!”

They paused for a moment to think. “Plus my research indicates that you aren’t a member of the fae so I see no risk in getting my name stolen if I give it to you,” they pointed out, with a glare to their side. “Unless that was something else that someone forgot to tell me ahead of time?”

Bill’s eye shifted thoughtfully towards the same direction, as if he expected to see someone else with them in the mindscape. Unsurprisingly, there was nothing more than the white void he had already grown used to seeing around them.

Once again, that wasn’t an indication that there was nothing to see, but that was something to worry about later. “Tempting, but I’ll set the idea aside for a rainy day.” He gave them a wink, or as best of a wink as one could give with one eye. “Or maybe for when I just get bored and feel like experimenting with something new~! Haven’t done that in a while, might be fun!”

The duck tapped their chin thoughtfully. “Hmm, let’s see. Which name I prefer depends on the person, but I think…” They held up a finger, eyes bright with inspiration. “Yeah, I think you can call me Tangy!”

“Tangy, huh?”

Bill’s gaze shifted knowingly between their feathers, necklace, and finally moved back to the sign on the archway. Guess he’d thought that low-hanging fruit joke way too soon.

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead and tease if you want,” Tangy said amusedly. “I never claimed to be subtle when it comes to the way I present myself.”

They held up a hand and wiggled their fingers at him. “Plus my feathers already smelled like tangerines before I took on the name, so it was even more perfect~!”

After giving their hand a sniff, they let their arm fall back to their side. “Well, I’ve given you my name. Guess all that’s left is for us to get this show on the road!” they said, tilting their head at him. “Unless you really do need more time to think it over? I promise I’m not here to judge if you do!”

Boy, they weren’t letting up on that, were they? “Sounds to me like you need more time to think it over than I do,” he pointed out, and cutely pressed a hand to his cheek. “What, are you scared to make a deal with wittle ol’ Bill~?”

“Not particularly,” Tangy assured him with a laugh. “Although I would’ve appreciated the extra time to gather my presentation materials together.”

They held up a finger. “But, if you’re so sure that you’re ready, then let’s go!”

They ducked back through the archway, once again leaving Bill with nothing but his own thoughts. He cast another look towards the void again, unsurprised by the fact that there was still nothing (or no one) to see.

He stared for a moment more, before a devilish laugh began to bubble inside him. Boy, that old geezer must’ve punched him harder than he’d realized if he’d actually been shaken enough to worry, even for a brief moment. What was he thinking, getting so worked up about his situation when some tacky bird was practically throwing themselves at him for a deal? A deal that would probably be child’s play for him to complete, leaving him with a whole favor on their end. 

Plus, what was an anthropomorphic duck in tacky clothing but a human with feathers, and tacky clothing? If he played his cards right, he could easily end up with a sparkling new vessel to parade around in while he cleaned his wounds and regained his footing.

Heck, if he really played his cards right, there was always a chance for him to try his hand at another Weirdmageddon. One that would actually succeed this time around.

His features twisted into a wicked, metaphorical grin. And maybe with the right persuasion, he could convince Birdbrain to include a lovely reunion with Stanford and the rest of the Pines family in their deal. Maybe even a reunion that involved peeling each of them apart like human bananas. Layer by layer, skin from muscle from vein from bones. Until they were all nothing but writhing blobs of flesh, unable to do anything but scream in endless, agonizing pain. What's wrong, Fordsy, you can't erase someone out of existence because your arm's a pile of fleshy goop? Too bad! Or perhaps he'd go the more traditional route of stabbing them with sharp objects, and using their organs to fill a piñata for his return party~! Whack a paper-mache horse, get Shooting Star's left lung!

All delightful fantasies to imagine, but nothing more than that for the time being. Oh well, something to pocket for later.

With a satisfied expression, he adjusted his bowtie and hovered forward through the archway—

—only to be greeted hard and fast by the unforgiving ground he splattered against on the other side.

There was a gasp nearby, followed by the sound of webbed feet slapping against a tiled floor. “Oops! Probably should’ve warned you about that!”

With a groan, Bill lifted the front of his body up from the floor and cast a nasty look to Tangy. Their hand was extended forward for him to take, and their beak curled into an apologetic smile. “Sorry,” they said with a chuckle. “Completely forgot to mention the faint shift in your natural abilities as you step into this part of my mind. It’s a little jarring, but otherwise harmless and the effects should wear off pretty quickly.”

Their offered hand was ignored as Bill floated fully back up into the air. “That’s a real cute trick, Birdbrain,” he said, and dusted off his front. “Although a bit rude on your guest’s behalf, don’t you think?”

He moved close to their face, features once again stretched into the mouthless-equivalent of a smile. “I mean, I don’t call you over to my place and make you trip on your way through the front door, do I?”

Despite the sudden intrusion of their personal space, Tangy’s expression didn’t change. “No, I’d imagine you’d do something much worse,” they pointed out. “Like make the door lead to the Unnaturally-Moist Dimension, or something equally as cursed.”

Bill folded his arms with a thoughtful look. “Unnaturally-Moist Dimension, huh? Creative, I’ll give you that one.”

“I thought you’d like it,” Tangy said with a laugh. “Browsing your records for months straight gave me a pretty good feel of the kind of guy you are. I swear, sometimes I even see triangles when I close my eyes!”

To emphasize their point, they closed their eyes for a few seconds and pointed a finger to their temple. “Yep! They’re there!”

They opened their eyes again. “Anyway, did we want to get started on the deal, then?”

“Gotta be honest, Birdbrain, I can’t exactly accept or deny a deal if I don’t even know what the terms and conditions are,” Bill pointed out. “So howz'about we discuss all that first?”

Tangy smiled wide at his suggestion. “A very fair point! I can’t expect you to accept my deal if you don’t even know what I want!” they said, and spun on their heels to face the other direction. “Tell you what, you go ahead and make yourself at home at my desk area while I get your file, and then we can start our discussion. I knew I forgot something from upstairs, I swear, I’m just a mess today!”

As they hurried away from him with a visible spring in their step, Bill took the opportunity to examine his new, new surroundings. 

The endless white void had been replaced with some sort of observatory combined with a records office. The room was wide and cylindrical with tan walls on all sides, and there were two distinct levels between the floor and the cornice connected to the domed roof above their heads.

The lower level was open and empty, save for a simple workspace at the far left side of the room comprised of a desk, wastebasket and office chair. The area were a mess compared to the rest of the room—the surface was littered with papers and folders, a mug of some unknown liquid, and a closed laptop adorned in bright and cutesy stickers, while the wastebasket on the floor was overflowing with several pieces of crumpled paper.

The upper layer—on the other hand—was a full observation deck. One that circled around the room’s entirety, with both halves coming together at a spiral staircase on the opposite end of the room, and one that Tangy had bounded towards after putting a pause on their conversation. The walls along the platform were lined with tall filing cabinets that stretched from the ground to the diameter line of the domed ceiling.

And rather than any sort of sky beyond the glass, the view looked to be shimmering sea water. As if the entire ‘office’ was situated at the bottom of the ocean, with only a few schools of colorful fish adding some contrast to the endless blue.

“Let me know if you have any requests for the mood lighting,” Tangy called from the spiral staircase. “Normally I keep it neutral in case the boss wants to pay me an unscheduled visit, but if you want, I can just—”

They clapped their hands together, and the ocean view above immediately shifted to a bright, retro scene of shifting shapes and colors, one that could rival their outfit in terms of tackiness. “Or if you want something a little more personal, I can change it to—”

Another clap, and the retro shapes melted into a mess of raging hellfire and bloody hail that thundered hard against the glass. “Again, taking any and all requests, so just let me know if you got ‘em!”

Bill had remained silent as Tangy prattled on—eye fixed on the ever-changing scenery outside the dome—before his pupil shifted down to the workspace area. He hovered towards it, while the sound of filing cabinet drawers being opened and closed from the second level echoed throughout the room. “Just give me a moment, I know it’s around here somewh—a-HA!”

There was a loud BANG of a drawer being slammed shut, before a sudden blur of orange came barreling down from the upper level towards the ground below. At first, Bill expected-slashed-hoped that Tangy would splatter against the floor at Mach speed, if for no other reason than the visual comedy aspect.

A duck splattering against the floor? Why, that was straight out of a vintage cartoon, one where talking animals were allowed to inflict horrific acts of violence on each other. Such a fun period of time in animation history, one of his personal favorites if he really had to pick. It was such a shame that Cipher Symphonies never took off past the first episode—his interactions with Tangy were giving him a few ideas for a long-awaited reboot!

Unfortunately for him (and luckily for Tangy), their body came to an instant stop in midair, less than half an inch from the floor. With an exhale of relief, they stretched a webbed foot down to give the tiles below a gentle tap, and the rest of their body finished the fall at a more manageable speed.

An expected outcome, given the mindscape setting. But Bill couldn’t help but be disappointed at the lack of a splattered duck on the floor.

“Sorry for making you wait,” Tangy said, giving the file in their hand a light shake. “This should’ve been under ‘C’ for ‘Cipher’, I have no idea how it ended up in the T section! Guess someone must’ve slipped it into the wrong drawer or something.”

They let out a small chuckle as they seated themselves in the chair behind the desk. “Well, no matter. Let’s go ahead and get this started—”

They paused, and looked to him again. “Oh, wait, you’d probably want a proper seat for this, wouldn’t you?”

With a gesture of their hand, a empty chair appeared on the other side of the desk for Bill. “Once again; just let me know if you’d prefer anything different,” they said. “Throne, bean bag chair—”

They made little squirming motions with their fingers. “—recliner stuffed with bugs so you always feel something wiggling whenever you sit down?”

This got a laugh out of Bill as he sank into the offered chair. “Once again, very creative,” he said, folding his hands atop his cane. “You really know how to treat a shape in this place, huh?”

“Well, I do like my clients to be as comfortable as possible,” Tangy explained. “It makes them so much more agreeable when it comes to dealmaking.”

Bill raised his eyebrow. Clients with an S, huh? Interesting, and worth questioning. “Oh, so I’m not the first interdimensional, all-powerful being you’ve brought here?” He pressed his hand to his forehead with a dramatic flair. “Aww, well, now my feelings are hurt, Birdbrain. And here I thought I was special~!”

“Don’t worry, you are!” Tangy assured him, with a tilt of their head. “You’re the first interdimensional, all-powerful being I’ve brought here. The other interdimensional beings I’ve brought here were far less powerful than you are.”

They clapped their hands together. “Which is why I’m especially excited to have you visiting me today! I’ve never had the chance to make a deal with someone like you before!”

Wow, they were laying it on pretty thick, weren’t they? To the point that there was a decent chance they were just trying to butter him up.

Still, Bill wasn’t one to turn down a free compliment. “Sheesh, kid, you’re gonna make me blush,” he said with feigned modesty. “I mean, by all means, keep up the flattery. But normally I only get this red if someone catches me in the process of peeling off my exoskeleton.” 

He waggled a finger in their direction. “Heyyy, his little deal of yours wouldn’t happen to involve you trying to get me outta my skin, would it~?” he asked with a wink, then let out a small chuckle. “...That was a wink, by the way. In case you couldn’t tell.”

“Don’t worry, I understood the intent,” Tangy assured him. “Although to answer your question honestly: No, that is not what my deal entails. Besides, I’m much older than you are.”

Oh, they were, were they? Another interesting tidbit to tuck away in the old brain vault for later. “Fair enough, I wouldn’t be interested anyway,” Bill said, leaning back in his chair. “So what kind of deal are you looking to make, Birdbrain? Wanna be rich? All-powerful?”

A beat. “…Taller?”

Hey, just because they were keen on dishing out the compliments didn’t mean he had to reciprocate.

“As tempting as that last one is, I’ll pass this time,” Tangy said. “But to be honest, I didn’t just bring you here so you could make a deal with me. I mean, I guess I technically did, but—”

They moved a hand to Bill’s file on the desk and flipped it open. “Point is, this deal is less about what I want, and mostly about what you want.”

Well, if that didn’t shoot Bill’s eyebrow so far up his face that it was a miracle it didn’t fly away of its own accord. So they were just jumping straight to that point on their own without him having to guide them there himself, huh?

It wasn’t enough to lower Bill’s guard completely, but he couldn’t help but give them an intrigued look. “Oh? And what is it that I want exactly?”

Tangy turned their gaze to the file. “Well, according to this; lots of things!” they said, tracing their finger beneath the words on one page. “A physical form that will allow you to escape your dimension and rule the mortal realm with an iron—and three-dimensional—fist. Some form of revenge on the people who stopped you from doing that the last time you tried—”

They let their eyes travel across the page for a moment, before confusion painted their features. “—the world’s silliest silly straw?”

Bill let out a hearty laugh. “That’s right, I’d almost forgotten about that one! One of the few things I gotta give humans credit for; they sure can silly a straw!”

He folded his arms. “But in all seriousness, it’s pretty low on the list of things I’d make a deal over,” he said. “You’re on the right track with those first two options, though. So if we really wanna get this show on the road—”

“Ah, ah, not so fast!” 

Tangy held up a finger. “I might know what you want, but you haven’t even heard my terms of the deal yet!”

Despite his best efforts, Bill's nonexistent smile fell in an instant as he raised his eyebrow at them. “Pretty sure you just said this whole deal was about what I wanted?”

“I said it was mostly about what you wanted,” Tangy reminded him. “But there are a few things I’d like to gain out of our exchange for myself.”

They cradled their chin in their hands. “I mean, it wouldn’t exactly be a deal if only one side got what they wanted, would it?” they asked. “It’d be more like—I don’t know—me just giving you a gift without expecting anything in return?”

A shrug. “A nice gesture, but not something that requires all this extra effort,” they pointed out. “In that case, I could’ve simply left a present next to your statue and been done with it!”

Bill rolled his eye. An annoying point, but a fair one. Even if he would’ve absolutely preferred a free offering without being expected to give anything in return. “Well, what do you want out of the deal, then?”

Tangy’s beak widened into an excited smile and clapped their hands twice. Immediately the scenery around them changed; the lights in the room were snuffed out in an instant and the grotesque, hellish scenery beyond the glass above transformed into a calm, starry night. Another series of claps, and a large projection screen appear behind them in midair, followed shortly by a film projector at the other end of the room. With a pleased expression, Tangy rolled their chair around the desk and moved towards the empty space beside Bill. “I have a short promotional film prepared,” they explained. “After the dozenth-or-so client, it gets exhausting repeating myself over and over.”

They leaned closer to him and gave him a knowing wink. “Plus this way I can offer my guests refreshments while they watch! I heard someone was a fan of Time-Punch? I might have a few bottles on hand, if you’re interested?”

Bill's eye had once again been fixed on the changing scenery above their heads, but his expression fell into something more pleased at the mention of Time Punch. “Well, now, if you’re going to go and offer me something like that, then how can a guy say no?” he asked, tucking one hand behind his head while making a gesture with the other to proceed.

There was a snap of Tangy’s fingers and a small, floating martini glass appeared in the air near Bill, one immediately followed by a bottle of sparkling liquid. “I think a glass of Late 2020 would be to your liking,” they said. “It’s supposed to be a very weird year.”

Bill’s eye lit up. “Ooh, that’s the year the plague makes a comeback, isn’t it?”

“Indeed it is,” Tangy said, while the bottle poured its contents into Bill’s glass. “I opted for the back half of the year, after things really began to kick into overdrive.”

Once the glass was full, Bill took it in his hand and gave the contents an expert swirl, before raising it to his eye for a sip. “Oh yeah, that’s the kind of savoriness you only get from media fatigue, toilet paper hoarding, and…”

There was a pause, followed by a smacking sound as he determined the taste. “Huh, almost forgot about the murder hornets.”

“Yeah, kind of a wild thing to throw out there while everything else was going on,” Tangy agreed.

While Bill took another sip, Tangy gestured to the projector and the screen before them lit up with the image of a vintage countdown timer. Once it ticked down to zero, the screen fell dark again for a moment before the first scene appeared.

A random, humanoid man raced into view from the right side of the screen. His appearance was disheveled and worn—as if he’d been previously fighting some difficult battle—and his features twisted with defeat and fury.

He slowed his run to a gradual stop, ducking behind a wall and sinking down to the ground in an exhausted, sitting position. As he pressed a hand to his head, a booming voice (one that echoed throughout the domed room around them) began to speak offscreen. “Greetings! Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this gentleman right here?”

The camera zoomed in on the man’s face, as he glared at the person behind the camera with a look of pure malice. “Hey now, there’s no need to look at me like that, pal,” the voice continued cheerfully. “The state you’re in right now is all your doing! You ticked off the wrong people, maybe you burned all the bridges with your family and friends. You’re a loser—”

On the screen beside the man flashed the word ‘LOSER’ in a wacky font. “—a CHUMP—” Another word in wacky font appeared on the opposite side of him. “—an absolute SUCKER—”

Before the third word could appear above his head, the man waved the text away in a blur of colors. “Can we get to the point?” he asked with a scowl.

“You’ve hit rock bottom with no way to climb back out,” the voice continued. “Or so you think~!”

The camera panned out, and suddenly Tangy appeared onscreen with an excited flourish. “Lucky for you, there’s a way to get your life back on track!” they said eagerly. “Introducing—”

With a wave of their hands, the title of the short film appeared over the two of them in big, orange—(Bill side-eyed the actual Tangy at this, who merely shrugged. “Listen, I like what I like.”)—letters of the same font as before:

“The Shelduck’s Game.”

Bill’s eyebrow rose with curiosity. The first thing to catch his eye was the word ‘shelduck’ (so Birdbrain was a shelduck, huh? Called that one.), but what really piqued his interest was the specific use of the word ‘game’.

Though a deal of a different name, a game possessed enough unique characteristics to justify the use of a separate word. A game implied challenges, rules…

More enticingly, a game implied a prize to be won.

The Tangy on the screen continued to speak as the text faded: “That’s right; The Shelduck’s Game! A fun-filled game for beings of all types across the Multiverse, and a chance for you to pull yourself out of the doldrums and get your life back on track!”

The scene transitioned with a screen wipe to a simple, crudely-drawn animation of Tangy and the unnamed man. “The Shelduck’s Game is so simple and easy to play, a child could do it!” the overlaid voice from before continued. “Not that we get a lot of children playing this game, but they could if they really wanted to!”

The actual Tangy leaned closer to Bill. “Yeah, not a lot of kids end up hitting rock bottom in the way most of my clients do,” they explained in a whisper. “And on the off chance that they do, they’re usually pulled out of it by the power of friendship or whatever by the time I’m able to arrive on the scene.”

A shrug. “Still, I am here if they ever need my help.”

Bill rolled his eye and turned his attention back to the film. “How does this game work, you may be asking yourself?” the voice asked, while the animated stand-in of the man shrugged with cartoonish uncertainty. “Well, as we said before, it’s so simple that even a child could figure it out! And that’s because—”

The crudely drawn Tangy gestured widely, and the scene transitioned to the two of them playing a random board game. “—the Shelduck’s Game is always suited to fit the specific player’s needs and personality!”

The board game shifted to a chessboard. “Are you a fan of chess?” Then a checkerboard. “Or perhaps checkers is more your speed?” The board disappeared completely. “Or maybe you’re not a fan of board games at all! We’ve got plenty of other options!”

Another scene transition, and the man was now hiding behind a tree while Tangy could be seen searching for him in the background. “There are countless games to be played in the Shelduck’s Game,” the voice continued. “But in the end, all you have to do is win one in order to obtain—”

More text written in that wacky font appeared onscreen, covering it in its entirety as the voice read them out: “—The Grand Prize!”

Bill hid a laugh behind another sip of his drink. Once again, his guessing skills were impeccable.

“The Grand Prizes offered by the Shelduck’s Game are just as diverse as the games themselves,” the voice continued. “And just as catered specifically to the needs-slash-wants of the player!”

The scene changed to the man’s animated head surrounded by brightly wrapped presents, and one opened to reveal a pile of money.  “Looking for cash?” Another revealed an unlabeled award. “Fame?”

And the last present opened to reveal an elegantly-decorated crown. “Looking to climb back to the top after your nasty and undignified fall from grace?” 

A wipe of the scene revealed the man from before, his disheveled and beaten appearance now replaced with a triumphant pose as he stood tall before a pile of his hard-earned rewards. “All of this and more can be yours if you play and win The Shelduck’s Game!”

With a proud smile, the man gave a thumbs-up to the camera. “Thanks to the Shelduck’s Game, I’m finally back on top!”

“Look at this guy!” the voice continued. “Don’t you wanna be just like him? I’ll bet you do! So play the Shelduck’s Game today!”

The guy gave a thumbs up as the title flashed again: “The Shelduck’s Game! Outta luck? Talk to the duck!” A pause, before the voice spoke again in a much more casual tone: “We’re still working on the catchphrase, cut us some slack.”

A series of warnings in smaller text quickly scrolled up from the bottom of the screen, read along by the voice at a pace to match the speed:

“Warning; please do not play any of the more intense games in the Shelduck’s Game if you are prone to illness, vertigo, motion sickness, or are with offspring in any way, shape, or form. The Shelduck’s Game is not responsible for any death (temporary or otherwise), dismemberment, or injury that may occur during the events of the game. Rules and regulations for each game may vary, as will your satisfaction with the end results. The Shelduck’s Game is not associate with Globnar, Time Baby or any associated organizations.”

The screen faded to black, and Tangy once again clapped their hands together. Immediately, the screen and projector vanished and the room’s lighting was restored. “Still a work in progress,” they admitted, while they moved their chair back to the other side of the desk. “But I think it gets the point across!”

They tilted their head. “Unless you have any other questions you still need to ask before we continue?”

Oh, Bill’s mind was whirling with questions, his gaze fixed hard on his empty martini glass in an attempt to mask the glee building inside him.

Birdbrain was in charge of running some sort of multidimensional game and wanted him as their latest player, with the aforementioned prize to be won acting as a lull to draw him in. Play a game, win a prize. A deal older than time itself, and one that often sounded too good to be true.

And as someone who had plenty of experience in the field of dealmaking; whenever a deal sounded too good to be true, there was always a catch. And lucky for Bill, he was quite the expert in spotting the catches in a deal. A master at spotting a watery loophole in even the most empty and barren of word deserts.

First thing of note was the lack of any specific game for him to play. The video had provided examples, but they’d been exactly that; examples. The video had made it very clear that the games were catered specifically to the player’s needs and personality.

And although he had a feeling Tangy was going to discuss the specifics of the game next, there was still the issue of the prize itself. They had already brought up a list of a few things he desired, but nothing that was worth diving headfirst into an unknown game of chance.

…Well, nothing that was worth diving into an unknown game of chance without more information, at least. 

He had to keep them talking, at least long enough to get that information out of them and anything else they were willing to divulge. Something he was sure wouldn’t be difficult; with how happy Birdbrain seemed to keep chatting up a storm, it was a wonder that they hadn’t been born a parrot instead of a shelduck.

Man, the bird jokes were almost too easy.

“I know what you’re probably thinking,” Tangy said aloud, interrupting his thoughts. “You’re probably thinking ‘this sounds amazing, and way too good to be true.’, along with some kind of derogatory remark about my appearance.”

Smarter than they looked, apparently.

Bill gingerly traced a finger around the rim of his glass. “Let me just see if I’m picking up what you’re putting down,” he said aloud, while his gaze followed the movement. “If I play one of your silly games and win, I get the prize of my dreams? That’s the deal you wanna make with me?”

“As expected, you catch on quick,” Tangy said proudly. “Yep, games are how we do things over here in my neck of the woods. I’ve got enough power to grant people their fondest desires, but it only becomes a reality if they play and win.”

They folded their hands on the desk. “And lucky for you, Bill Cipher, you happen to be the one I’m extending that lucky offer to today!”

Bill reached his glass to his eye again, downing the last little bit of Time Punch. “Can’t lie to you, Birdbrain, that does sound like a pretty sweet deal. But I’ve gotta reiterate my point from before; I can’t exactly agree to a deal if I don’t know the specifics behind it.”

He gestured widely with both arms and the few remaining drops in his empty glass splattered onto the papers on Tangy’s desk, a shimmery mess of color against their usual shade of white. “And not once in that little video of yours did you ever state the actual name of the game."

He held up the glass to his eye for a casual inspection. “I’m just saying, it ain’t smart to sign up for a game before you even know what you’re playing~!”

Tangy didn’t look the least bit perturbed by the mess, and instead gave a wave of their hand. The few spilled drops rose up from the paper into the air, leaving no trace that they had ever spilled, and a wave of their hand in another direction brought Bill’s empty glass up to join them before both dissolved in a quick burst of light.

The light faded as quickly as it had appeared, the cup and droplets now a floating mass of energy as Tangy shifted both hands to bring that energy into their embrace. They snapped with one hand, then the other—

—and then slapped both hands around the energy, flattening it into something that Bill could not see. After keeping their hands pressed together for a moment, they rereleased their grip and held the mass before them as it rematerialized into something entirely new.

At first, it appeared to be nothing more than a bunch of small, golden shapes, each about the size of an eraser. Once all the shapes had properly formed, however, they started to combine into a larger, singular shape—

“A triangle?”

How original.

The triangle—well, actually it was more of a square pyramid than anything else—fell into Tangy’s cupped hands, and a pair of thin, golden chainlinks began to materialize from the topmost point. They continued to form upwards for several inches, before slowly rounding off into a closed circle chain. “I had a few ideas for the game I’d offer you,” they said. “But I think at the end of the day, a scavenger hunt is the perfect choice!”

They looped a finger into the chain and twirled the charm in the air, the triangle gently drifting back and forth with their movements. “Combined with a little bit of Capture The Flag~!”

Bill raised his eyebrow. Alright, not what he was expecting but his curiosity was certainly piqued. “Elaborate.”

“Basically, I take this little guy and I—”

A snap, and the charm suddenly reverted back to a mess of golden bricks. “—scatter the pieces all across Gravity Falls,” they continued. “I then plop you down in the town, and leave you to find all of the pieces and put the entire thing back together.”

They tapped their beak with their finger. “I’d want to give you a decent amount of searching time, so let’s set the time limit from the beginning of June to sunrise on August thirty-first,” they said. “Both within the year twenty-thirteen, of course, so no trying to pull a ‘Well technically, I could still keep playing because you never specified which August thirty-first.’”

Their hand moved from their beak to their chin as they thought for a moment. “Although I guess there has been some debate on whether the current year is actually twenty-thirteen or twenty-fourteen,” they mused. “Time Baby’s literal-untimely death made things go all wonky for a bit and there’s still some lingering side effects. I’m pretty sure it’s only twenty-thirteen, but you know how it goes—”

A shrug. “Whatever, from the beginning of June to August thirty-first all within the same Gregorian year. Three months, no more and no less.”

Bill was silent as he contemplated all of this, gaze shifting between Tangy and the scattered pieces of triangle. “Where does the Capture the Flag part come in?”

“Good question!” Tangy said. “So basically, once you get the pieces together, you’ve gotta find a way to keep hold of the charm by the time the game’s deadline hits!”

They flashed him a smile. “Which I doubt would be an issue for someone like you, but what’s a game without a few extra challenges thrown into the mix?”

Extra challenges, huh? That seemed vague enough to be sneaky. “And what does that mean, exactly?” he inquired. “Gonna pop down a couple of extra players to act as an opposing team to me or something?”

“Oh no, nothing like that,” Tangy assured him. “I just figured you’d be surrounded by a lot of people who don’t like you, and would probably do anything to stop you from achieving your goals.”

Their smile widened. “I mean, if someone showed up and tried to turn my dimension inside out, I doubt I’d be willing to just let them walk around freely after that,” they elaborated further. “And if I found out they were collecting the pieces of a puzzle that would let them do that again, I’d probably do everything in my power to take those pieces away from them.”

A shrug. "That's just my own personal feelings, though. For all I know, the people down there could welcome you with open arms and do everything they can to help you find the pieces. Either way, though, you have to be the one holding them by the end of the game to count as the winner."

…Alright, so maybe it wasn’t as sneaky as he’d initially thought. 

Still, Bill had yet to find any sort of real catch in their offer, and Birdbrain had yet to circle back around to talking about the prize he’d receive if he won the game. “So, just so we’re all clear: you want me to waste three months hunting down some building blocks in a town I can’t stand, full of people I can’t stand?” he asked. “That’s your big, exciting game?”

He folded his arms behind his head. “Gotta say, Birdbrain, I’m not seeing much of an appeal to playing your little game. From where I’m standing, you put far more effort into your silly video than actually making your game interesting.”

A laugh. “Don’t get me wrong; I’m sure it’d be fun to go back to tormenting the suckers there for a bit. But I’ve been doing that for several decades now, and the novelty’s worn itself pretty thin.”

“Hey, it’s not like I could send you anywhere else,” Tangy pointed out. “What with the weirdness barrier around the town and everything, I’m kind of limited on options.”

They reached up to gently tap one of the scattered bricks with their finger, before the charm reformed itself into a full pyramid. “Which reminds me, I don’t believe we decided on your prize, did we?”

It took every ounce of willpower on Bill’s end to keep his expression neutral as the conversation shifted back to the topic of his prize, despite the initial glee from before bubbling up once again inside him. It really was too easy to get what he wanted out of people, wasn’t it? “We discussed it, but I don’t think we settled on an answer.”

Tangy let both the charm and their gaze fall back to the desk, and they reached over to turn the current page of his file to the next one. “Well, we’ve covered a few of the things you currently desire,” they said studiously, pupils shifting back and forth as they read. “Revenge, a chance to take over the multiverse again…a silly straw—”

“I believe we already established that I can make due without that last one for now,” Bill interrupted quickly.

“Sans the straw, there’s a number of options to select as your prize,” Tangy continued, and flipped to another page. “But so many of them wouldn’t even be worth all the effort of playing, what with that aforementioned barrier still around the town—”

They slapped the folder shut with one hand. “So, why not make that your prize instead?”

Bill blinked. “Wait, make what my prize?”

“The barrier, you goofball!” Tangy said with a delighted laugh. “You play my game and win, and I’ll shatter the barrier for you!”

…Heh? “Heh?”

“I don’t know how much clearer I can phrase it for you,” Tangy said. “Since all of my other options would still leave you stuck within the town limits, why not just get rid of the reason you were stuck in the first place?”

They pressed their hands together in a squishing motion, adding a raspberry for comedic effect. “So yep, that’s my offer! Find all the pieces of the charm, put ‘em back together, and keep hold of the entire thing before the sun rises on the final day of summer, and I’ll shatter that pesky barrier like glass for you!”

“...You’re bluffing.”

It was said far too unprofessionally, far too needy for his liking. But for the first time since he’d arrived, any common sense was momentarily ignored as Bill stared at them in utter shock. 

Out of all the things they could have suggested as a prize, out of all the things he could have suggested, not once did the thought of destroying the barrier cross his mind. Why would it? The only one who had any knowledge of how to collapse the barrier was—

Bill’s hand gripped the chair’s armrest, and he let out a grounding exhale of breath in an attempt to relax. He had to remain calm. Neither he nor his Nightmare Realm buddies had been able to break past the barrier, and he had a feeling that ol’ Sixer had no interest in spilling that information to his beloved family. 

And if Bill hadn’t been able to get the equation out of him, there was no way that Birdbrain would just know it off the top of—

“‘Gravity Falls Natural Law of Weirdness Magnetism and the Equation To Reverse It.’”

Tangy’s attention was now on the laptop, their fingers dancing across the keys for a moment before they pointed to the screen. “Huh, look at that!” they said delightedly. “There’s actually results!”

Bill’s grip on the armrest tightened, cotton fluff billowing out of the rips as his pupil bounced to the laptop for a millisecond. “...And how do I know you’re not just staring at an empty screen right now?”

“I don’t blame you for being suspicious,” Tangy said, and turned back to face him. “But I can promise you that I wouldn’t have offered the idea if I didn’t intend to follow through on it if you win the game—”

“So what do you get out of all of this?”

It was a question that had been lingering at the back of Bill’s mind the entire time, just barely out of reach. But upon hearing Birdbrain’s offer to shatter the barrier, something had finally clicked.

They had not once elaborated on why they wanted him to play their little game. 

The prize they were offering; it had to be the catch in their deal. Something so personally enticing to him that he wouldn’t think to question why they were offering it to him in the first place. Why would they be promising to give him so much if they weren’t going to get anything out of it themselves?

Tangy tilted their head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“What are you getting out of this deal?” Bill repeated, and floated up out of his chair. “Out with it, Birdbrain; you wouldn’t be offering this deal if you weren’t getting something out of it in return.”

He hovered forward and placed his hands on the edge of the desk. “You said yourself that a deal wasn’t a deal if only one side was getting something out of the exchange,” he pointed out. “If I play and win, I get a prize.”

He leaned forward further, eye narrowing with suspicion. “So I ask again; what are you getting out of this deal?”

Much like the other times Bill had invaded their personal space, Tangy showed no sense of discomfort or annoyance at the action. Rather, they simply moved a hand back to the laptop and pressed it closed. “What do I get out of this?”

The hand moved to the charm on the desk, their fingers teasing the chain for a moment. “That’s an easy answer! I get the joy that comes from helping someone in need.”

Bill raised his eyebrow, unconvinced.

“I’m serious,” Tangy said, and rose up from their chair again. “The entire motivation behind giving people a chance to play my games is because I adhere to the idea that everyone out there deserves a chance to get their lives back on track. To get a second chance that many others might not be willing to give them.”

Their cheery demeanor grew unusually serious for a moment as their eyes fell to the desk before them. “Even if they squander that chance, at least that helping hand was extended to them in the first place…”

They were quiet for a moment, before their bright expression returned in full. “Also I’d like to point out that while you don’t have to trust my motives, I did go through all the trouble of bringing you here to make this deal in the first place,” they pointed out. “Why would I go through all this effort to bring you back, only to deceive you about what I have to offer?”

Bill could think of at least a dozen answers to their question off the top of his head, but he simply folded his arms across his chest. In their defense, it was a good point; why bother going through all that trouble if they had no plans to actually hold up their end of the bargain?

Sure, there was always a chance that they were lying about possessing the ability to destroy the barrier, but what benefit would it give them to do so? How would lying here further Birdbrain’s needs?

…Again, Bill could spend an eternity listing off potential guesses, but at the end of the day, they would just be guesses. Not actual answers behind their motives.

“I’m happy to give you as much time as you need to think the offer over,” Tangy said, and waved their hand over the desk. “But if it might help speed up the process—”

They pulled their hand back, and a blank piece of paper flew up from their desk and hovered between them. As Bill watched, the words ‘The Shelduck’s Game Contract’ began to magically form in big, orange (again with the orange) letters at the top of the paper. 

Letters that were quickly followed by a series of paragraphs in the same font, finishing off with two blank signature lines near the bottom of the page.

“I know you’re a man of handshakes,” Tangy said. “And we can absolutely do that as well. But my game requires a binding signature to take effect.”

Another wave of their hand and their signature appeared on the first blank line. “There we go, now I’m legally bound to uphold my end of the deal,” they said. “And if I don’t, you’re well within your legal rights to hit me with whatever punishment you see fit~! I do believe we mentioned the Unnaturally-Moist Dimension already? Or perhaps you’d want to do something worse to me?” 

A shrug before they folded their hands together. “Either way, my fate would be in your rightfully-unforgiving hands!”

Bill stared at them before his gaze moved back to the contract, slitted pupil darting back and forth as he absorbed every word, letter—even every punctuation mark—several times over. It was nothing they hadn’t previously discussed; an explanation of the game, the decided terms, and—

‘As agreed upon, the being known as Bill Cipher will receive the following upon winning the decided game; the complete and immediate destruction of the weirdness barrier that surrounds the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon. Scenic Dimension 46'\. ’

His gaze lingered on those words for a moment while he pondered over everything that Tangy had told him. There had to be something he’d missed, the catch he’d yet to find in their words.

But, on the other hand—

His shoulders tensed. They had countered his questions with legitimate answers. They were practically throwing themselves at him to make a deal, even going to far as to offer themselves as a punching bag if they tried to back out. They were promising to give him the very information that he had died trying to pry out of Ford’s mind—

One fatal mistake.

He didn’t even bother to hide the flash of red in his eye, as he snapped his pupil back to Tangy. “You’re serious about breaking the barrier if I follow all your rules and win your dumb little game?”

Tangy held up a hand. “As serious as the odes of plague in that 2020 punch you drank.”

“And all I have to do to win your game is put that little charm of yours back together and keep hold of it by the end of the summer?” Bill asked. “That’s it?”

Tangy snapped their fingers and the charm flew from the desk to their hand. “That’s all you’ve got to do.”

Bill looked from the charm to their laptop. “...And there’s absolutely zero chance of you just giving me the equation right now, even if I do everything in my power to torture it outta you?”

Another snap of their fingers and the laptop vanished in a flash of light. “You could certainly try,” Tangy said with a smile. “But I’m also aware of your vulnerability in the mindscape, and I feel like that probably puts you at a disadvantage in a fight—”

“Yeah, yeah, alright, point taken.”

Bill crossed his arms, eyelid narrowed in thoughtful silence for a moment, then another—

Aw, heck with it. Since when did he overthink this hard about anything?

“Gimme a pen.”

Tangy’s face lit up with excitement as they made a pen float up from the desk and into Bill’s hand. And within seconds, the blank signature line was occupied by a boldly written ‘BILL CIPHER’ in jagged capitals.

Their smile widening further, Tangy gestured the signed contract back towards them and rolled it up with a wave of their hand. “Looks like the game’s on~!”

“Ah, ah, ah, before that—” Bill held out a hand. “—now it’s my turn.”

Tangy gave a nod. “But of course! I’m nothing if not a duck of my word.”

They reached for Bill’s hand with their own, their palms barely making contact before both were enveloped in blue flames. Heatless flames, but the power behind the action could still be felt as the imaginary bonds of the deal travelled up through their arms and throughout their entire bodies.

Bill’s hand lingered in theirs as the flames died down, his grip tightening against their feathers. “If I win your stupid game, and you don’t shatter that barrier for me, I get free reign to torment your lying, feathered butt in the most horrific ways possible until the end of time.”

“Once again, duck of my word,” Tangy assured him. “But I would like to remind you that I only have to uphold my end of the deal if you win. If you lose, you can’t hold me accountable for your failures.”

Despite the eye roll that followed in response, Bill could feel the familiar rush of endorphins that always came with making a deal surge through him. A rush now paired with a swelling passion, as the realization that he had succeeded in playing his cards right.

He had a chance to destroy the barrier. To start again.

To finally be free.

His features twisted into a metaphorical grin. And this time, he would not be making any ‘fatal mistakes’. Take that, Stanford! Take that, Stanley! Take that, anyone who would not be getting in his way again!

“So, are you ready to begin?”

Once again, Birdbrain was just a master at interrupting his thoughts. But once again in their defense, they were also good at following those interruptions with a good point. “So, how’s this gonna work, then?” he asked aloud, gaze moving to their still-locked hands. “I possess you, then we pop on down to Hick Town, or—?”

Tangy tilted their head curiously. “Possess me?”

“Yeah, you know, so I can play your game?” Bill pointed out. “Can’t exactly go without a vessel to possess.”

He batted his eyelashes at them. “Unless you’re planning on just dropping me down there in my pure, unaltered form~?” he guessed. “Couldn’t blame you if you did, I’m a delight!”

Tangy chuckled. “Well, you are a delight, but I don’t plan on doing that,” they said. “Knowing you, you’d probably use it to your advantage and just turn the town upside down looking for the charm pieces.”

They raised their free hand in a shrug. “And while that’s not against the rules or anything, it would make the game a little too easy.”

“Had a feeling you’d lean that way," Bill said with a roll of his eye. "So then, when am I possessing you?”

Tangy chuckled, their smile widening just the faintest amount. “You’re still misunderstanding, Bill,” they said. “When did I ever say you were going to possess me in this game?”

“...What do you—”

There was a flash of light as Tangy broke their handshake, and Bill vanished.

Their arm remained outstretched for a moment, gaze locked on the spot where Bill had been previously, before they let it fall with a giddy laugh that echoed throughout the domed room. “Wow, I can’t believe it!” they said, flapping their hands in excitement. “I actually managed to convince him to play one of my games! This is going to be so much fun!”

“Sounds like things are going well.”

Tangy’s gaze snapped to the archway at the sound of a new voice, grin widening as a tall, hooded woman stepped through. Unlike Bill’s entrance into the room, she moved with control and grace, her countless eyes shifting about as she took in the scenery. “I saw he had taken his leave, so I thought it safe to make my presence known.”

“Oh, hi, Jhessie~!” Tangy said delightedly, waving at her with their whole arm. “And you’d be right on that fact!”

They gave the woman a double thumbs-up as she approached the desk. “I convinced Bill to play a game!” they explained. “Not only that, you were right about him being suspicious about almost everything in the deal, while also being too darn stubborn to accept any chances to back out.”

Smiling wider, they reached for the triangle charm on the desk and held it up. “Also, it’s a good thing he was so focused on all of that, he didn’t even think about taking a closer look at this bad boy,” they said, and pressed a finger to their bill. “He also didn’t notice how I never actually ended up using my flashcards, despite them being one of the excuses I used to get him in here. Odd oversight on his part, I think.”

“The important part is that he accepted the deal,” she said, tilting her head upwards towards the glass dome. “I’m sure He’ll be pleased about that, as well.”

Tangy also turned their gaze upwards, as the hellfire and blood rain they had previously set for Bill melted back into the underwater view from before. They continued to stare for a moment, before Tangy dropped their gaze back to her. “Hey, Jheselbraum, can I ask you something?”

“You’re going to ask if my initial vision of Bill will come to pass,” Jheselbraum said, also letting the gaze of her multiple eyes fall to Tangy’s face.

Tangy playfully wagged a finger at her. “Nothing gets by you, huh, Miss Oracle?”

“Truth be told, I’m not entirely sure myself,” she admitted. “Or perhaps I struggle to believe it, despite witnessing the events of the premonition with my own eyes.”

She held her hands behind her back. “Regardless, while my visions usually come to pass in one way or another, the events of the future are not set in stone. Whatever happens will inevitably be up to him and the choices he makes during your game.”

“Well, either way, Bill’s on his way back to Gravity Falls for the summer so whatever happens will reveal itself in time,” Tangy said. “Oh, I should probably—”

With a snap, the charm vanished into the air. “There we go! Now his scavenger hunt can properly begin.”

“So, where did you end up hiding the pieces?” Jheselbraum asked.

Tangy tilted their head curiously. “You don’t know?”

“Just because I possess the ability to see into the future does not mean I choose to use it for everything,” she said. “It would make for a rather unsurprising, and therefore dull, lifestyle.”

“Fair enough,” Tangy said. “Well in that case, I won’t tell you! Let’s continue keeping it a surprise for everyone!”

With that, they clasped their hands together. “Well, I’ve probably got some time before he needs my help,” they said. “Care to share a glass of Time Punch with me while I wait? I’ve still got a mostly-full bottle of 2020.”

“I’m more partial to 3030 myself if you possess a bottle,” Jheselbraum said, before taking a seat in the chair previously occupied by Bill. “It’s currently unknown to most, aside from those of us blessed with the ability to see that far ahead.”

With a laugh, Tangy summoned a bottle and two empty glasses. Both of which—along with the rest of the room—were swiftly engulfed in shadow as a massive being passed overhead, beyond the glass of the domed roof.

Once again, both beings turned their heads upwards and watched in silence as a giant, pink axolotl floated lazily through the crystal blue waters, its magnificent body twisting to and fro for a few minutes before it eventually swam out of sight.

“Hmm, it appears I was right when I said He’d be pleased,” Jheselbraum observed thoughtfully. “Although He might be less so when he hears that you offered Bill some of your Time Punch.”

Tangy returned to pouring their glasses with a nervous chuckle. “Hey, come on, he was so suspicious of me when I first showed up,” they pointed out. “What better way to help him relax than to show him I’m a cool duck who’s willing to break a few rules with him?”

They cast her a concerned look. “...I’m not actually going to get in trouble, am I? The big guy would understand, right?”

Jheselbraum hummed with amusement. “Worry not, it was a joke.”

Tangy let out a laugh. “Heyyy, since when were you a jokey-jokerson?”

“Since I was able to predict every punchline while others could not predict my own,” she replied matter-of-factly. “But I’m serious when I say you needn’t worry. I can promise you that He’s pleased with the way things are unfolding, and is as eager to see how it’ll play out as we are.”

Their smile widened, before they waved the first poured glass in her direction. “Well, I certainly hope He remains pleased as time goes on,” they said, before getting to work on their own glass. “After all, the game has only just begun.”

“...That was incredibly cliché—”

“I know, but it sounded so cool and ominous that I just couldn't resist!”

They gestured for the bottle to lower itself to their desk as the two of them gave a toast (one immediately interrupted by an outcry of “Wait, I forgot to tell him the rules!” from Tangy), the base coming to a wobbly rest atop a stack of folders on the desk.

Specifically atop a thick, unopened folder, one that contained a decent number of papers regarding the subject within. On the outside of the folder itself however, there was nothing more than a simple picture to act as a label, stuck to the folder by a cutesy little sticker of the full moon. A picture that was thankfully unobscured by the bottle of punch. 

A picture of the Cetus constellation.

[choco-pudding]

The Vampire Dies in no Time, Chapter 307: Fun Amongst Rodents

Read text from right to left, do not repost.

(Translations by @lavoszero and myself. Edits and typesetting by myself)

Plain text below

p. 51

The wings that fly faster than sound, the Solar Eclipsing Raven, the vampire Ventrue.

The creator of an infinite army of unholy ghouls, the Necro-Dealer, the vampire Elder.

The blaze that incinerates all, the Immortal Flame, the vampire Ishikana.

The boundless phantasmagoria, the Shifting Shadow, the vampire Dick.

The blizzard that snuffs out life’s light, the Icy Smile Lord, the vampire Northdin.

The head of the Old Blood Vampires, The Dragon Prince, The Silver Wolf, the vampire Draus.

Death 307: Fun amongst Rodents

p. 52

In Nezumi Land, Chiba.

p. 53

Venture: “Are you kidding me, Draus?” Elder: “We made the trek to Maihama for this, is this a joke!?” Ishikana: “What is wrong with you, you old, old, old, old Man!? Old, old men do not, should not, go to Nezumi Land by their lonesome!” Draus: “Enough, calm down! I have my reasons.”

[Flashback]

Draus: “You see, I wanted to escort Draluc and my dearest Mira around Nezumi Land.” Likely Venture: “Shut up, don't you dare have a flashback!” Likely Elder: “Time and time again, you use for your rehearsals!” Likely Ishikana: “Don’t you have any friends!?” Draus:

Northdin: “Surely you didn't invite that idiot [ydan] as well?” Draus: “I… I invited him but he said he had to work at a part time job.” Someone: “A man like him got a part time job?” Someone: “As a lewd comedian, maybe.”

Someone: “Well, what's done is done, regardless of our feelings, we're here now.” Likely Venture: “Keh, this place reeks of humans!”

p. 54

Elder: “Then again, is this not a golden opportunity? Let’s seize the moment and take joy in laughing at all the humans scurrying about, dopey-faced.” Venture: “! That’s a good point” Ishikana: “Now is the perfect time to show these humans how much we superior vampires out class them!”

Someone: “Don't assume we superior vampires are so easily amused. You shall regret looking down upon us, rodent!” Northdin: “I don't believe this land is capable of ‘looking’ upon any direction.”

Draus: “So this is what the inside is like. I’m at a loss, what are we supposed to do now…!!?” [Huge crowd] Ishikana: “Is this a line? Or is it just crowded?” Dick: “Maybe there is a strip show in the back?” Likely Ishikana: “Stop trying to paint this place as lewd, it’s forced.”

Northdin: “There's no need to get flustered, my fellow Superior Vampires... First, simply decide what attraction you wish to go to, then use the SmartPass app.” [Nezumi Map: Latest Revision” Someone: “You're acting like a high school girl excited for a school trip.” Someone: “A high school girl that was so excited, she couldn’t sleep and spent all night surfing the web.” Northdin: “Quiet!”

Venture: “Lowering ourselves just to observe human behavior firsthand, where is our awe? Humans should bend to our will; we shouldn’t be bound to theirs. Northdin: “How much longer do you plan on clinging to that mindset? Draus, reason with him.”

p. 55

Draus: “Umm... I also think it would be more awe-inspiring for us to walk with our heads held high and demonstrate we are not bound human rules...” Northdin: “I see.” [Northdin's mindscape] [Stomp, stomp] Farmerdin: “The wheat I sowed!”

Venture: “Fine, I may not fully grasp it but I'll manage. Humans, kneel.” Ishikana: “We may as well join in on their line since it’s right before us.” Northdin: “How on earth did any of these guys manage to survive in turbulent times. “Pushovers”

[10 minutes]

[20 minutes]

Ishikana: “Dick, can you turn into a rhinoceros or something and mow down this row?” [Rumble] Northdin: “You'll force the whole park to close!”

Draus: “Stop spouting idiotic nonsense… “Did you even consider an attendant may confront us, asking why we were the only ones the rhino spared?” Someone: “When exactly did you develop this phobia of employees?”

[45 minutes]

p.56

Attendant: “Those with SmartPasses may go on ahead. [Shuffle, shuffle]

Northdin: “I tried to warn you.”

Attendant: “Sorry for the wait, please, go on ahead. Draus: “At long last… I was beginning to suspect this queue existed in frozen time.”

Attendant: “Please take your seats.” Draus: “So, what is this? It reminds me of a theater, hahaha.”

Attendant: “Seat belts will now lock.” Draus: “Seat belts?” [Clank]

[Whirl] Draus: “Papa?”

Attendant: “Enjoy your ride on the Free Fall of Hell~” [Bang] Draus: “Papaaa!!!”

p.57

Draus: “Warn me what these lines are for next tiiiime!!!” Venture: “Who in their right mind would ever pay to be dropped!?” Northdin: “You were too busy ‘holding your heads high’ to listen to my explanation” Elder: “I’d say the scene before me is plenty of motivation to wait in line again~”

Northdin: “Anyway, what has you so shaken, you can fly?” Venture: “it's because I can fly that I hate the sensation of falling!!” Northdin: “That’s like developing a fear of others’ driving because you have a license.”

Dick: “Or perhaps it's more akin to being a famous manga artist that can't bare facing the erotic works of his past.” Venture: “Not even remotely!”

Draus: “North, are there any attractions that are less terrifying but can still demonstrate to humans how formidable we are?” Northdin: “Give me a moment.”

[Northdin's mindscape] [Does that even in exist?] [Riot]

Northdin: “Oh? The mascot over there seem to be attracting a lot of attention.” Human: “Excuse me, can we take a photo with you?”

Draus: “Hahaha, now if this isn't the epitome of humanity's juvenile nature, I almost feel bad for laughing.”

p.58

[Pant, pant]

Draus: “Hah. Ah” Northdin: “Don’t look at me like that”

Elder: “Here, let me take your photo, now, pose for the camera Draus: “Ah. Ah.”

[Turn]] Draus: “Right, sorry, I’ll face the camera!” Someone: “I feel like I'm watching an alumni bully the new kid.”

[Fear-induced Draus puddle] Elder: “What an unusually friendly mascot Dick: “Isn't it natural to be emboldened when paired with a someone timid?” Someone: “Or they’re just a troublemaker.”

Draus: “Tch, I'm fine, I'm fine, let's go somewhere, anywhere else. “Gee, more lines!”

Venture: “Dick, transform into a seat so the rest of us can sit down.”Dick: “If I do, I may never look upon with innocence ever again, are you prepared for that?” Draus: “Never mind! From here on out, you stay five meters away from me!

[Castle of Terror Tour]

Elder: “Wow, it reminds me of my home whenever I make ghouls.” Ishikana: “Tidy up more.”Elder: “I don’t have the luxury to do so during peak season.”

p.59

[Merry-go-round] Dick: “Allow me to give these dear passengers an extra seat on the ride.” Draus: “Quit it, you idiot, the attendant, the attendant's coming!”

[Souvenir Shop]

Ishikana: “A six eared Draus.” Elder: “Perhaps I should get a gift for my grandson. Ah, but the poor child might get jealous.”

Elder: “Wait a moment, we're enjoying this place as intended, aren't we!?” Venture: “This was not the plan! What happened to out pride as superior vampires!?” Elder: “That sneaky little rat!”

Draus: “Hence forth, we shall act more formidable!” Ishikana: “Hey, the guy from before is back.”Draus: “Papaaah!” Northdin: “Calm down.”

Female Attendant: “Huh? Vickey you’re not scheduled to be here right now.”

p.60

Fakey: “Kuukuku, I am the vampire Fakey! Humans will be none-the-wiser as they flock to me, trying to meet "Vickey" and I drain them of their-

“Blood…”

[Crumble] Fakey: “Eh!?” [Grab, grab]

[Boom] Fakey: “Gyaaa Hot!”

[Fwooo] Fakey: “C-c-cold!”

p.61

[Thwack] Fakey: “Gahaaa!”

[Snatch] Fakey: “Ack!”

[Land] [Poof]

Dick: “And that concludes our Guer-villain Show! Did you all have a good time~? Let’s give our actors a big round of applause!”

[Woohoo! Clap, clap!]

Venture: “Hah, now this is the awe we deserve!” Elder: “I have souvenir ghouls available to those willing to pay~” Other workers: [And one, two, one, two-] Northdin: “Quit fooling around and let's leave before we draw ever more unwanted attention.”

Female Attendant: “You vampires, I thank you from the bottom of my heart...!

p.62

Female Attendant: “What you did... going so far as to handle it in a way that didn't shatter the dreams of our guests, that's truly amazing.”

Female Attendant: “This place was built as a dream land for all to love and enjoy. Thank you, thank you so much for protecting this dream...!”

Draus: “Heh... protecting human society from foolish vampires was a path we decided on long ago.” [“So much has changed since then.”] “It was a pleasure to be able to protect the dreams of these ethereal beings once more tonight…”

Ishikana: “Hey the real Vickey is coming over.” [“The cheeky little freak”] Draus: “Uhh…”

Draus: “But I suppose I'm the hero who protected your people's dreams now. This time, I’ll take a photo with my head held high!”

[Beam]

This is a fun dream land! With dreams worthy of protection! We'll turn a blind eye for now but we won't forget this, you bastard. We'll trample you dead with a merry-go-round.

Death 307: End

Translator’s notes: Nezumi means rodent (particularly mice and rats). I left it as “Nezumi Land” since page 53 transcribes it as such.

p. 53 Maihama, Urayasu, Chiba is the location of Tokyo Disneyland.

p.54 The term “舐める” means “to look down upon” and “to lick.” Northdin is teasing them about the word choice and uses “ペロ” (a term pretty much exclusive to licking) in response.

p.57

“Papa” is Draus’s in universe entrance fanfare. He does in fact say it out loud.

p.58

Gee (ゲェー) is probably a reference to Kinnikuman’s ゲェーッ. It’s just a thing characters say in shock sometimes.

p. 60

Fakey’s name is literally “Esecky,” a JPN portmanteau of "Ese," (fake), and Vickey (the Mickey stand in).

[definatelymrhyde]

Wait so like super early theory before the page comes out: Hyde was falling last page, in the infinite stairwell mindscape place

Didn’t he mention one time that if he went to the bottom he might not find is way out??

Something is telling me something bad is about to happen

[bigfemboyenergy]

yall HELP BRO THIS IS SO SILLY

okok i need to choose a rant of mine to read for my new theater thing im doing AND I NEED U TO HELP ME CHOOSE. SO PLEASEE