#TIM LOOKING AT LUCY WHEN HE SHOULD BE LOOKING AT ASHLEY.

[renegadesstuff]

TIM LOOKING AT LUCY WHEN HE SHOULD BE LOOKING AT ASHLEY. 😍🥹

[theflyindutchwoman]

What are you doing? I'm keeping you company. You don't have to do that. I know.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.05 - The Fugitive

This scene has such a nostalgic feel… With the references to Tim's old injury and the subtle Day of Death undertones, it brings us right back to Tim and Lucy's old dynamic. It also grants them a much needed moment of truce amidst their current awkwardness… a respite from all the confusion… Not everything is fixed - there are too many remaining unsaid things… But the reassurance that their bond is still intact is what matters the most in that instant.

Throughout the episode, we got glimpses of how worried Lucy was. But once she is made aware of Tim's laparoscopy surgery, she goes almost frantic. There's this very sweet moment when she enters his hospital room, where she takes a breath and tries to rein it in so as not to overwhelm him. Despite her effort, she can't quite completely hide how beside herself she is. His little hey is the softest thing. So is his little smile when he's trying to reassure her that he's going to be fine… and trying to explain why he asked to keep her in the dark. She looks so hurt for a second. And it's understandable with how things have been between them lately. I could see her mind making up scenarios as to why, wondering if she may have ruined their relationship.

The fact that he simply didn't want to worry her is actually extremely mindful - and misguided, because she was always going to anyway. And it's not that he didn't trust her to handle his surgery - rather, it was an act of love. Just like Grey didn't want to worry Luna after his shooting… The way she immediately teases him about this and his deflection are just so reminiscent of Day of Death - when he tried to deny staying all night at her bedside. Just like then, Lucy can see through him. For the first time since Vegas, they can allow themselves to simply bask in each other's presence, without feeling self-conscious about it. Their little smiles are everything. They look so at peace here. Like they're finally home. Tim taking time to praise her is also a nice touch… It's the fact that, despite his surgery, he still knew how she did at the station that says everything about his feelings.

But some things have changed and Lucy is the one who addresses the elephant in the room : Ashley's absence. Her wariness is comprehensible after feeling like a third wheel earlier. Though I get why Tim lies to her here. Given the fact that he was unceremoniously dumped when he was barely conscious, there's no way he had time to fully process or even digest what has happened. And since he's making headway with Lucy, I can also understand him not wanting to do anything that could rock the boat. Like talking about his breakup would. In that moment, it's not about Ashley. It's about him and Lucy. The fact that her response is to simply shrug it off and stay by his side just shows that she was merely trying not to overstep. The way she takes time to subtly check his monitor, making sure everything is alright is so inherently her. As is the fact that she intends on staying to keep him company. This is so natural to her that his bewilderment surprises her… and unknowingly to her, that's what Tim needed to hear. He needed to be reminded that there's someone who isn't going to bail on him when things get tough. She never did before and regardless of their current awkwardness, she's still going to stay by his side. His little smile at the end conveys everything… like how much this means to him… and how much he's fallen for her… Let's not even start on the intensity of Lucy's gaze. Officer Bradford should be getting out of intensive care today. If you have some time after your shift, I'm sure he won't appreciate it. Well, turns out he does… when it's Lucy.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday amazing fandom. So Next ep (4x22) will be on Friday this week. So I'll post Sunday for 5x01. Didn't want to post my usual next Monday on Christmas just as an FYI. Let's get started. Ahhh we only have 2 left in this season. Last two are huge. This one is more geared towards Lucy and her feelings. With Ashley thrown in the mix. Lucy’s feelings for Tim that are getting harder to conceal by the day. This is a good one heavy content after such low one for last two. So let’s get going.

4x21 Mother’s Day

We start off with problem number one. I mean Chris. Lucy telling him it’s a hard pass on meeting his parents. Not just no. 'HARD PASS' Damn Lucy straight up shutting his ass down. Her commitment issues are glaring in this scene. You can tell by her body language alone. Look at how uncomfortable she is as they’re talking about this subject. Touching the back of her neck. Her hand lingering near her tattoo. She is not feeling this conversation one bit.

To her Chris isn’t serious enough to be even remotely near that. Also she doesn't care enough either. Never close to that kind of commitment. Never was… i.e. 5x08 and all that. He is the definition of a convenience relationship. Also the man is blind when it comes to reading her properly. She says no and he pushes it. Then when he doesn’t get what he wants basically scolds her for it. Her face when he says ‘I figured you’d say that.’ Like why you asking then mofo? He gets under my skin like no other…

This next portion is jealously personified oh my lord. Mostly on Lucy’s part. Clown and Lucy walk up to Tim/Ashley discussing a trip. Lucy immediately needing to know if they’re planning a vacation. Chris being clued in for once is shocked she’s asking about it. Look at the man's eyebrows in the first gif. They say yes Hawaii. Chris goes right back to being the clueless idiot. He says he loves Hawaii but never been.... Why do you even speak man? Useless info from a useless human being.

Ashley starts spouting on about beaches and crap no one cares about tbh ha Lucy is not really listening anyways. You can tell she’s tuned out and is in analysis mode. Melissa is conveying so much with just her eyes in that second gif. She is jelly belly. Look at her watching them and trying to digest this moment. Her jealously starts here and doesn’t end till we reach Tim’s prank.

Chris tells her to call him if she changes her mind. Lucy just wards him off and says she won’t. No means no schmuck. Tim tries to ask her about that comment and Lucy deflects. She doesn’t care about Chris’s parents. Her one and only focus is about him. Needing to know whose idea it was for Hawaii? Tim being clueless to her inquiry just says mine I guess why? Lucy doesn’t get to finish her thought because they run into Harper.

Lucy mentions she thought she had the day off? Nyla says she did but Donovan is being a prick about the holiday. That he took Lila to see his mom for Mother’s Day. All the way in Santa Barbara. Leaving Nyla childless for Mother’s Day. Doing it as revenge. What a dick. Lucy says that’s really cruel even for him. Harper mentions James is taking his boys to see his ex-wife cause he’s a decent human being LOL

That at least she’s being paid time and a half to plot her revenge. Tim having slight respectful fear of her says he can wait to see what she comes up with haha Lucy joining him saying they should sell tickets. Their faces in those gifs are primo. I also love their shared looks as they leave. Damn they’re cute together. The most married looks as they’re leaving I cannot stand it. Knowing not to mess with Nyla today of all days. Best they can do is just get the hell out of there ha

We rejoin them in the shop. We watch Lucy struggle with wanting to get her thoughts out. You can tell she is nervous and scared of the answer she might get. Watching her body language alone during this scene is so telling. It's showing she is dying inside. That this is eating at her so much. Not once has Lucy ever thought Ashley was the right one for him. Now there is this potential he could be thinking about proposing to her... and it's making her sick to her stomach.

She is trying to contain her meltdown about this as best she can. Also like to note while Lucy builds up her courage in the first gif Tim is not stressed whatsoever. LOL Just thinking it's a normal day as they get out on the road. Living his best life while Lucy has her internal battle in the first gif. Lucy finally gets the guts to ask the question burning a hole in her stomach.

One that is making her nauseous. If he’s proposing to Ashley? She says it all high pitched. Clearly so very nervous of his potential answer. Tim seems blind sided by the question. The way he raises his eyebrows kills me. Saying no... They’ve only been dating a few months. Interesting you date Lucy for a few weeks and give up your career path to stay near her…Almost like she isn’t the one but we’ll get there haha

Lucy tells Tim he needs to be careful of the signals he’s sending. He asks her what she means? What kind of signals? She says the kind that makes her get a manicure. So that she can send pictures of a ring to all her friends. The way his eyes bug out in horror. Yeah there’s a man ready for the altar… The thought of marrying Ashley putting him in an absolute panic. That’s your soulmate right there Tim…better lock that down....They get interrupted by dispatch before they can continue. Lucy is enjoying his panic about it though. To her that means that’s not where they’re headed. So for now her freakout simmers down from a boil.

They return to the station to sync up with Angela. Their earlier call is linked to her situation from this morning. She was at a Mother’s Day brunch with Patrice and they got held up at gun point. These punks stole her Mother’s Day gift and terrified her MIL. Harper comes in like a bat out of hell. It’s pretty hilarious tbh. I love how Tim and Lucy just stand there as they plot Donovan’s demise. Her deserves it.

Talking about curses and such. They’re so chaotic together and it makes me so happy. I always enjoy their scenes though. Tim saying they should leave before become accessories. heh I love him being low key scared of Angela it’s the best. Also could they be any closer to each other as they leave? It’s like you guys want me to point this stuff out haha

Lucy is visiting with Patrice and she’s giving her solid mom advice. I love it so much. Saying her mom has to be the one to make the amends not her. Lucy seems so grateful for the advice. It's a super sweet mini moment. Tim walks in complaining about hotel prices. Lucy comes over and he has her look at his phone. (not a wifey thing to do at all...)Then tells him that’s not a bad deal. That if he wants cheaper he's gonna have to do Honolulu motel 6 LOL How romantic.... Patrice says Oh, Going to Hawaii? Congrats on his engagement.

Lucy is loving being right. She is beaming with smugness really. Saying ‘Ah told you!’ Tim tells her he’s not getting engaged. He’s so adamant about it. Patrice asks if his GF knows that? They have serious old married couple vibes in this scene. Especially when Patrice asks if he’s really this clueless? Her reply is absolute gold. Flirting with him right in front of Wesley’s mom LOL

I’m sure she’s thinking why aren’t these two together? The chemistry from their banter alone is enough to think that. He doesn’t even fight her just sighs. Accepting his fate with her in these situations. God they’re so married and adorable I cannot stand it. Soulmate material right here folks. Front and center. Lucy smiling as he walks away. She loves her goober so very much. Splashed all over her face.

Angela gives them an update on their crime spree couple. Saying their next target was a bridal shop. Lucy makes a pot shot at Tim. Angela perks right up and is confused as hell. Tim wards Lucy off and says to ignore her. We watch Lucy get agitated. The whole idea of Tim getting engaged is not sitting well with her in the slightest.

Now this is what I find the most interesting about this scene. After Tim says that Angela isn’t watching Tim’s reaction. She’s watching Lucy’s. Look at how she gauges Lucy. Can see she is deeply irritated. Her Chenford radar going off. She’s intuitive af I mean she’s a detective she has to be but still LOL She is reading what Lucy is projecting in this moment and is surprised Tim isn’t….

When they’re back in the shop Lucy continues to push her luck with this subject. Poking the bear just a little bit more. Saying the website she’s on says Hawaii is the #1 place to get married. Tim retorting back there’s no way she thinks he’s proposing. Lucy presses on because she can’t help herself. Say he’s of a certain age LOL His reaction to that is too damn funny. Like excuse me love?

Lucy adds in that Ashley is in her prime. That on paper this makes sense. That it’s a no brainer really. (Love the little tongue flick in that gif btw. Yum.) It’s coming off as teasing when Lucy low key needs to know. She has to have answers to all this. Also she is in quite the panic. Not hiding it well at all in order to get them. Lucy puts the final nail in the coffin of her anxiety with her next question. Asking if he can see himself married to her?

It’s the hesitation that says everything to me. He takes a few beats before replying. Lucy is anxiously awaiting his reply. Fidgeting with her phone as the silence stretches. Hoping its more of the 'No' he was giving her earlier. He finally answers like it’s a business transaction. Not someone he loves...Saying yeah he can. Lying liar who lies Timothy Bradford. SMH. This response it’s like wanting a specific meal and the restaurant is out. So they offer you something of lesser value. You’re hungry so you go with it. That’s Ashley. She is the lesser value of Lucy. Tim knows it. So he is settling with this relationship.

Why you ask? Because it’s safe and comfortable. Just like Lucy is with Chris. Also in the back of his head he knows he can never be with Lucy like that. Or so he thinks. He too felt that spark in 4x01 too. Has also been suppressing those thoughts all season. So what helps? A distraction. I.e. Ashley. I looked up settling just to have a good definition. "Settling isn't a choice people happily make for themselves. Often, people settle out of fear. It could be the fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, or even fear of rejection, and, in light of that, settling can feel like the safest choice." Definition of his relationship with Ashley especially going forward after this ep.

He sounds so unconvincing I don’t know Tim even believed what he just said. What Tim is doing here the epitome of settling at this point with Ashley. I don’t think one bit he actually wants to marry her. So much as he needs the companionship. Something he thought he could live without before Lucy. Then she brought Rachel into his life. He realized he could do this again. That he even missed it. So he may put off this lone wolf vibe but our boy just wants to be loved. So he will settle for any love he can get even if it’s not right for him. Which hurts my heart on a deep level.

We shoot back to Lucy. His reaction seems meh but hers is another story. She very much believes him and looks devastated. This episode is her epiphany episode IMO. Where all these feelings she felt launch for Tim during the 4x01 hug are bubbling up to the surface. She's been trying all season to tamp it down. To push it away thinking if she did it would just go away. Not how feelings work my friend.

I saw the funniest tag(s) for this set when I was looking for gifs. Couple people used it actually. Said it felt like Lucy was playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes LOL That is this scene. She went hunting for answers and only came up with heartbreak and sadness. Her plan was to validate her feelings about this whole thing. All it did was blow up in her face. She’s teased him the entire episode. She inadvertently made him seriously think about this.

She then got an answer she did not want… (none of us did) This is the absolute opposite of how she was with Rachel. She truly wanted Tim to be happy with her. News like this would’ve made her happy back in S2. Because Rachel was Lucy 2.0. Sad fact is Ashley is no where near right for Tim and she knows it. Also so much as transpired between them since S2. Her feelings being one of them. That makes this reaction she is having even more intense.

If Tim looked over he would’ve seen the devastation. It’s the most transparent she’s been all season long. Lucy has been a clear glass window this entire season with him. Yet this moment stands out as her most telling IMO. Lucy asked what she was scared to really get an answer for. Then got back a reply she was dreading. The last one above gets me the most. Melissa I commend you for it. So much being expressed here.

The way she is processing what’s he’s told her. The emotions coursing through her body. The twitch of her mouth trying to keep herself in check. Looks like she wants to scream or cry or possibly both. Shake Tim and say WTF are you thinking? Most of all she is just hurt. Not taking this kind of info in stride and realizing she is not. Like that dog with the house on fire sitting there with his coffee. ‘This is fine….’ I feel like sums up her emotions for this inquiry she made.

These are just great action shots of our couple in the field. They catch up to the crime spree couple. They're getting married in this really pretty church. Hijacked someone's wedding. Look how close they are as they fire back. Could take his own position but no lets share cover hehe I love the unnecessary touching she does on her way to catch the wife. It wasn’t necessary to touch him Lucy. Yet I’m here for it 100 %. That building is so beautiful BTW What a lovely place to get married. I hope whenever they get married someplace pretty like this. Or maybe won't be a church at all. Idc where as long as they're married ha

Ashley is waiting for him outside the station after his shift. She asks how his day was? He says good but Lucy was particularly annoying today. Please Timothy. Like you didn’t enjoy all of that attention from her. Do like Ashley defending Lucy and saying 'I'm sure that's not true.' Tim notices her new nail color and mentions it. Ashley says yeah she just got them done. The panic on this man’s face. LMFAO You’re a liar sir about wanting to marry her. 'Yeah I can' my ass.

Tim tells her he needs to clear the air about something. That there was a reason Lucy was so annoying today. She was convinced taking her to Hawaii meant a proposal. He panics some more and says 'You don’t think that right? Cause I’m not... 'Crashing and burning you handsome fool. She puts a finger to his lips and tells him to shush. That this isn’t what she was expecting at all.

That if he had she would’ve just said no… because she has no interest in being married ever. That she doesn’t want kids either. She's not wired that way. Now to me this should’ve been the end of the relationship for Tim. These are all things Tim wants out of a relationship. She is basically telling him exactly what she wants out of this. What she doesn’t want as well. She’s being honest and upfront. It’s up to Tim to tell her he wants those things out of a relationship. That this isn't going to work based on that.

He wants marriage and kids. I’m not an Ashley fan don’t get me wrong. I know the fandom didn’t like her. I sure wasn’t pleased with her being around. But she tells him right here and now she doesn’t want marriage. Not only that she doesn’t want kids. I don’t think that makes her selfish. It just makes her incompatible with Tim. It's actually self inflicted wound for Tim to continue dating her. Knowing he wants those things. She is a woman who knows what she doesn’t want and is telling him as such. That's what you do when you're dating someone. So you see if your values and life goals align. Their's very much don't.

I do think this moment is on Tim 100 %. We’ve seen him have communication problems in past relationships. Not telling his former SO's exactly how he is feeling. This relationship is extended due to lack of communication in this moment. Look at this man. He is deflated she doesn’t want these things. His response and body language is screaming disappointment. Unfortunately Ashley fails to read this. He should’ve told her he wants all those things.

Sadly he doesn't... the reality is he’s settling as I stated before. He is faking it with her. Saying that this is ok with him. It’s one thing not to be ready to marry someone. It’s another to realize this relationship has no future for him. He doesn’t want to be alone. This is a safe enough relationship to commit to so he does. Even if it’s stealing all his dreams away from him. Which makes me so sad for him. Because he thinks this is it for him. Which is why S5 is huge for him. But I'll gush about that when we get there. You know I love my Tim but staying in his relationship and having it last longer is on him. Instead of walking away because they aren't right for each other.

Tim sees Lucy is watching and is a little shit. He asks Ashley if she’ll do him a favor? First off kudos to Melissa once again for conveying so very much with just a look. Tim is making sure he’s looking over at her as he ‘proposes.’ If you look at his face you can see his eyes flit over to her. Pranking is their love language. But if Tim had looked over after he 'proposed' he would see a heart breaking. I think it’s here Lucy is realizing her feelings for Tim.

Because she is reacting like someone who is in love. Lucy is now heartbroken thinking Tim is getting married. Her person is getting married. To the wrong person. She is beyond crushed really. If you looked up devastated in the dictionary that gif should be there. Lucy is so gone for him at this point and its hitting her like a ton of bricks. I mean her behavior this entire episode reflects that. This is a painful epiphany for her.

It was something that was on a low simmer in the back of her brain all season. Now its been pulled to the forefront and is boiling over. I think she is having a million thoughts racing through her mind right now. That he is far more than just her friend and co-worker. He is her best friend and she's in love with him. That is the face of someone who is crushed her person is going to marry someone else. Be bound to Ashley. When she is the right person for him not her.

Chris comes up babbling about his mom and Lucy has checked out. She is there in body but her mind is outside with Tim. In the first gif we can see her trying to reset. To care that her current BF is in front of her. That she isn't having a emotional spiral about her best friend getting married. She’s scrambling to assemble her thoughts and emotions. Lucy is so flustered and trying to give a crap about Chris's existence. She’s so visibly upset and Chris once again doesn’t read her well.

It’s then she gets Tim’s text we see relief flood over her. Then instant anger as Tim waves at her as they leave. If I was Ashley I would be questioning why my boyfriend wanted to trick his ‘platonic aide’ into thinking they’re engaged…but ok. She ignores Chris further and goes to hunt down Angela to curse Tim LOL Once again how Chris and Ashley didn’t see how in love these two idiots were I’ll never know. Especially Chris my god. Lucy was so very transparent this entire season with Tim.

Also she just straight ignored you son. So focused on wringing Tim’s neck after upsetting her. But sure man bring up your parents she didn’t want to meet LOL Not once did she acknowledge his conversation. Her only goal getting back at Tim. Leaving Chris just standing there like clueless dope he is.... Such good episode though. Especially for Lucy. This is her 'Uh oh epiphany moment.' about her feelings for Tim. All came to a head when she thought he was getting married. So good.

~~~~

Side notes non-chenford

I love Donovan’s mom bringing Lilah to Nyla. Acknowledging want a douche her son was being. Couldn’t allow them to be apart on Mother’s Day.

Also Patrice spending the day dispensing advice to everyone LOL Loved it. Wish could've included her advice to Lucy but ran out of room.

Thank you for everyone who’s been on. This journey with me. I can’t believe next ep Is the S4 finale. Insane. all of your like, comments and reblogs make my entire day. I love every single one of them. See you all in 4x22 :)

[mamadoc]

Hello Chenford fanfiction friends!

I got another chapter of my Worth the Wait story posted this evening.

Here’s how it starts.

Tim stood in their half-empty garage for a long time staring at the slab of concrete which Ashley’s Jeep should have occupied.

Eventually his sleep-deprived, emotionally exhausted, and completely dumbfounded brain comprehended what had happened. Ashley was gone. He wasn’t sure if she was gone for the night or gone for good, but she had left. She had left him and their daughters.

He staggered into the kitchen to get a glass of water as his mind struggled to understand what this could mean if she was really gone for good. When he set his glass down to shuffle back to his bed, he saw through the dim moonlight that illuminated the kitchen a large manila envelope that hadn’t been there earlier. Upon closer inspection, it had just one word in the center: Tim.

He flicked on the lights and settled down on one of the tall kitchen stools to inspect its contents. The envelope was much heavier than he anticipated, which only made him more curious. On the top of the stack of papers was a handwritten note.

Tim,

I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage to say goodbye. I can’t live this life anymore. I can’t be a mother. I’m just not wired that way.

I finally got all the money from my dad’s house and estate this week. I made a trust fund for Aly and Lily with 50% of the money. He would have wanted them to have that. All of that paperwork is included in this envelope.

I’m using some of the money to go far away. I sold my Jeep. I’m going to drop it off at the buyer’s home and then go to the airport. By the time you get this note, I should already be on an airplane. Please don’t look for me. I don’t want to be found. I’m leaving the US for now. I don’t know if I’ll ever come back.

You are a great dad. I know that you love Aly and Lily very much and that they’ll always be safe with you. If you choose to tell them anything about me, please be kind. I know that I’m an awful mother. They know that, too. I think that this is for the best for all of us.

Also enclosed in this envelope is my release of all parental rights. I worked with a lawyer to finalize it this week. According to the law, you are their sole parent with all rights and privileges. I will never be able to regain those, have any contact with the girls without your permission, or argue for custody of any type. I’m releasing all three of you from me and my horrible mothering skills.

When I first started this process, I felt a lot of guilt that I was abandoning you and the girls, but as it completed today and I bought my plane ticket, I felt more free than I have since before I had that positive pregnancy test.

I know you probably hate me. You have every right to. I just can’t do it though. I tried, but I can’t. At least I was able to give you the children you always wanted to have. I’m sorry I don’t have anything more to give.

You can sell or donate anything else in the house that was mine. I don’t need any of it.

I’m sorry that I was never good enough for you to love. Maybe you can go back to LA and find Lucy. You always loved her more than me anyway. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to be a mother to the girls or a partner to you.

If the girls ever ask, please tell them I tried.

Goodbye, Tim.

Ashley

Read on here to see how Tim manages life by himself with newborn twins. You’ll also get Lucy’s story during her time undercover.

It’s another long chapter, so hydrate and get comfy.

[americaswritings]

My Tim & Lucy stories

The collection

* my personal faves

Safe place

Lucy realizes that she was wrong; Her safe place is not a place anymore, it's a person.

Trapped

It's Lucy's last day as Tim's rookie. But instead of spending it on the streets of LA fighting crime, they are trapped in an elevator together. This brings some unwanted memories back for Lucy.

Where the heart belongs

"You and I both know that there have been three people in our relationship from the beginning and I can't keep pretending to not notice that your heart belongs to someone else." (Rachel breaks up with Tim & Lucy is the one to read the message to him.)

Losing control

“I think Caleb- he-he put something into my drink”, she stuttered, and she heard Tim take a sharp inhale at the other end of the phone." (What if Lucy realized Caleb put something in her drink and called Tim for help?)

Dream a little dream of me

A familiar song is played at Angela & Wesley's wedding. Tim won’t let it break Lucy.

Found that person in you

Lucy tells Tim what happened with Chris. He finds out she hasn't just watched the video of herself in the barrel, but the body cam footage of her rescue too.

No place I would rather be *

"It's about Lucy. She uhm- she had a bad day. She's not coming out of her room anymore. I don't know what to do." He inhaled sharply, his eyes closing for a second as he swallowed. "I am on my way." (Lucy deals with the aftermath of watching the video, Tamara is worried & calls Tim.)

Can’t help falling in love (multiple chapters) *

Her gaze locked with his, brown met blue, and it was like a wave of calmness washed over her. He was studying her, his eyes fixed on hers, an intensity in them she had rarely seen from him.  Why wasn't he looking away? And when had she stopped thinking about the lyrics? (Lucy agreed to sing at Angela & Wesley's wedding and shares an intimate moment with Tim.)

Can Beauty come out of Ashes? *

“You should get cleaned up”, he told her softly, letting his hand fall back to his side as he realized the dirt he had tried to rub away wouldn’t come off. He wondered if she would ever not look beautiful to him. (Tim and Lucy share a moment after the explosion nearly took Lucy's life.)

The Reality of Losing you (multiple chapters)

“Can we talk about something else? About your engagement perhaps. Congratulations by the way.” Her words sounded more forced than delighted and Lucy bit her lip, willing herself to get her emotions under control. (Tim doesn’t directly clear up his proposal is a prank and Lucy has to face the reality that she might lose Tim.)

No regrets

Prompts: "I'm sorry I kissed you" & "I'm not with Ashley anymore"

Head in the Game

"Hey." His arm came up to her shoulder, a firm touch to bring her back to reality yet gentle enough to show her she was not in immediate danger. She startled at the gesture, her head snapping towards him, and he could see unshed tears in them. Shit. If Lucy cried right now, it was over. (Tim & Lucy find out that Rosalind escaped while being undercover together.)

Never Alone With You By My Side *

"Come on, you can't say you didn't enjoy it!" She was teasing, of course, but there was a strain on his face. "Could have been worse." "Wow!" Lucy grimaced mockingly. "Way to make a girl feel special, Bradford!" "You know how special you are." (Now that it's all over the apartment feels too empty. So Lucy calls Tim.)

When will this nightmare ever end?

"Lucy-", he began, but she shook her head. "Don't tell me it's all going to be okay, because it's not! Chris almost died, because Rosalind wants to get back at me. I can't- I-" She closed her eyes, exhaling. "When will this nightmare ever end?" (Lucy waits for Chris to wake up and Tim is by her side.)

I thought you never saw me that way

Prompt: “I thought you never saw me that way."

Some things matter more

“I only wanted space, because I thought that’s what we both needed. Time away from each other to think.” Lucy tilted her head, biting her lip. “And did it help?”, she asked, her voice wavering slightly. Tim closed his mouth again, his jaw twitching. “No.” (Prompt: “Some things matter more.")

Always find you

5x03: Lucy gets trapped. With her radio signal blocked, Tim is left with nothing but his imagination about what could have happened to her.

Where our story begins

“Vegas- it wasn’t just pretend. Not for me anyway and I...I think it wasn’t for you either.” (Prompt: "I can't be your aide anymore.”)

One Good Reason

"Then why are you pushing me away?", Lucy asked. "Don't you want-", she bit her lip. Their eyes met and she saw the question in his eyes, the need for her to finish that sentence. "Me." (Prompt: "Are you afraid to be with me?")

Healing

"It might take a while but eventually it will feel real", Tim told her, referring to her words as she had stared at Rosalind’s lifeless body. Lucy looked at him, a mixture of emotions flickering over her face. "It just- seems too easy." (Tim makes sure Lucy is okay after they found Rosalind’s body)

If Tomorrow never comes

When the nurse had left and Lucy met his gaze again, his brows were lifted. "Boyfriend?" "I said partner."  "If I recall correctly, I'm your superior", Tim pointed out. "No sign of amnesia then." (Tim asks Lucy to lay with him in the hospital bed)

Sick Days

Lucy gets sick, but goes into work anyway, because she's already taken a lot of sick days due to what happened with Caleb. Of course Tim notices.

[centralperkchenford]

Hi friend!

5x15 had zero chenford! Let’s add chenford

Chenford + post 5x15 they go to a 24 hour diner after “closing out” the case, Lucy is super cuddly cause she missed Tim, and maybe the run into emmet who’s on the night shift

Do whatever you want with that. I just need chenford added to that episode 😂 they didn’t have one scene together and it was horrible. And I just know Lucy was probably hardcore missing Tim if they didn’t get to see each other often during that (and vice versa)

Chenford + post 5x15 they go to a 24 hour diner after “closing out” the case, Lucy is super cuddly cause she missed Tim, and maybe the run into emmet who’s on the night shift

I also added in a prompt where some asked me for my take on Ashley being supportive.

People throw rocks at things that shine, And life makes love look hard

“Hey.” Lucy catches up to Tim as he walks out of the locker room, he smiles when he sees her and she is immediately by his side as they walk to the exit. She loops her arm in his and he smiles down at her.

“How was your day?” He asks. Lucy let’s out a long breath. It was a long day and so many things could have gone wrong but the worst part of the day was she didn’t see Tim all day long. She was busy on her end and he was busy on his and quite frankly she didn’t like it.

“Long.” She answers. “I missed you.” Tim looks down at her, his blue eyes studying her intently.

“I missed you too.” He says back. She wants to reach up and kiss him but they are still in the station.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Tim asks. She nods and her fingers dig into his arm, her stomach growling at that exact moment.

“Yes.” She all but moans. “I’m starved.” Tim barks out a laugh.

“I have the perfect place then.” He says and he pulls her towards the door. She giggles as he does he can’t believe this is her life right now.

They get to Tim’s truck and he pushes her against it and she grins up at him as her fingers grip his shirt.

“I hate not seeing you during the day.” Tim mutters. “I can’t even imagine it if you were at another station.”

“It all worked out.” She says and it had even if he had no idea how it happened or that she was the driving force behind him getting into metro.

“It did.” He agrees and then he backs away from her and opens the passenger door. She slides in and he gives her another quick kiss. She swings her legs inside and he shuts the door. She watches as he gets in and immediately grabs onto her hand. He drives like that all the way to wherever they were going.

He pulls into a small parking lot where the street lamps flickered. He parks in a spot right in front of a small diner which had a flashing open 24 hours sign flashing in the window.

She turns to look at him and tilts her head at him curiously.

“What is this place?” She asks. He brings her hand up to his lips and then sets it down but doesn’t let go.

“I discovered this when I was just starting as a patrol officer.” He says. “The night shift was brutal and so I stopped here.” Lucy bites her lip and smiles at him.

“Why have you never taken me here before?” She asks him. He shrugs his shoulders before turning off his truck.

“I wanted it to be special.” He answers. He finally let’s go of her hand and she immediately misses him.

She gets out of his truck and he meets her on her side but instead of grabbing her hand, he tucks her into his side. Lucy sighs happily as they make their way to the door. Tim opens it for her and she steps inside immediately getting all the smells of a diner: bacon, eggs, BLT’s.

Tim pushes her along and they step up to the hostess stand. A young blonde girl with headphones is standing and looks up.

“Table for two?” She asks. Tim nods and she leads them over to a wrap around booth. Lucy slides in first and then Tim. The girl places the menus in front of them.

“Your waitress should be here soon.” She tells them. They thank her and she saunters off to the hostess stand.

Lucy looks around the restaurant, it’s pretty full for this time of night. There are families and couples gathered around the tables. She looks back to see Tim looking at her, his eyes lighting up when she looks at him.

“What?” She asks. He holds out his arms and motions her over.

“Come here.” He says and she’s by his side in an instant curling into his side. He kisses the top of her head and she looks down at the menu.

“What are you hungry for?” She asks him. There’s a mischievous glint in his eyes as he answers.

“You.” He mutters and she slaps his shoulder. “But that will have to wait. So I think maybe just a sandwich.”

“Mmm.” She mumbles as she continues to look at the menu. She decides on the veggie burger because that’s always her go to.

When they have ordered Lucy curls up more into his side and wraps her arms around him and lays her head on his shoulder.

“You must have really missed me.” He mutters. She nods against his shoulder, her eyes closing.

He kisses her gently and then takes a sip of his water.

“Hey.” She pulls him back to her and they are so engrossed in each other, Lucy almost doesn’t hear someone clearing their throat by their table.

They both look up and Lucy has to hide her gasp of surprise when she sees who it is. Emmett.

Tim tightens his grip on her as he glowers at the other man.

“Oh uh hi Emmett.” Lucy says nervously. She hasn’t seen him since he broke up with her over text message. He’s in his paramedic uniform, and he’s crossing his arms across his chest.

“Lucy.” He nods at her and then looks at Tim a frown on his face at how close they are. “Bradford.” Tim nods at the other man albeit a little stiffly.

“You got off work late.” Emmett says and it’s a statement not a question. Lucy bites the inside of her cheek and nods.

“Yeah we had a case that—” She stops herself. Tim is still glaring at Emmett. “I’m guessing you are on the night shift?”

Emmett nods. “Yeah sixth day straight.” He says and Lucy can’t help but hum sympathetically. She feels nothing for Emmett but she’s an empathetic person and she hates the night shift.

Tim kisses the side of her head. “I will be right back baby.” He says quietly shooting Emmett a look.

“Okay.” She says smiling at him. He scoots out and she watches him disappear. As soon as he’s out of site, Emmett turns to Lucy.

“You are dating Bradford?” He asks a little bitterly. “Why?”

Lucy sits up straight and she knows why Emmett waited until Tim left to ask her this. “I am dating him.” She says. “And it’s because he’s amazing. And sweet and he truly cares about me.”

Emmett opens his mouth to speak but Tim comes walking back and slides in the booth next to Lucy. She curls up into him again, and looks at Emmett daring him to say anything insulting in front of Tim.

There’s a long silence before the waitress is coming up with their food. Emmett moves out of the way, his eyes still on Lucy as he does.

“Well uh it was nice seeing you Emmett.” She says and turns away from him and back to her boyfriend who is eating one of her fries. She smacks his hand and he pouts at her. And usually it works but not this time.

“That’s not going to work Tim.” She says a teasing lilt in her voice. “These are my fries.” He rolls his eyes at her and takes a bite of his sandwich. When Lucy looks up again, Emmett is gone.

***

Lucy stays tucked into Tim’s side all throughout their dinner and then when Tim goes up to pay. She really likes seeing him during the day even if it’s just for a moment. So not seeing him makes her stressed like something is missing.

Just as they are leaving the diner with Tim’s arm wrapped around her waist and their fingers laced together someone walks in the door causing Tim to skid to a stop.

“Tim?” Says a familiar female voice. Lucy looks up and sees Ashley standing by the door in her usual lifeguard get up. Her curly blonde hair is cascading down her shoulders and she’s looking between them with her eyebrows furrowed.

“Hi Ashley.” Tim says tugging Lucy closer and squeezing her hand once. Ashley smiles tightly at him and then at Lucy.

“What are you doing here?” Ashley asks her eyes on Lucy but her question directed to Tim.

“Late case.” He answers. “We were hungry and I know this place is always open.”

Ashley nods as if she understands and maybe she does. “That’s nice.” She rocks back on her heels.

“So you two are together now?” She asks. Lucy looks up at Tim who shrugs at her before turning to Ashley.

“Yeah we are.” Says Tim and just like Lucy did with Emmett he gives her a look as if challenging her.

“That’s great.” Says Ashley and Lucy sees Tim’s shoulders relax. “I always had a feeling that you liked Lucy. You never looked at me like you look at her.”

Lucy looks up at Tim who looks down at her, a sparkle in his eyes and she knows Ashley is right. Tim has always looked at her differently.

“Yeah. It’s pretty great.” Says Tim. Ashley nods at them and her smile is genuine.

“Have a great night.” She says and then she pushes into the restaurant without another word. Tim kisses her on top of the head.

“Let’s go home.” He mutters. Lucy nods as he leads her out, feeling lighter than she had all day. She knows it won’t always be this easy and there will be days where she probably won’t see Tim but that’s okay because she knows he will somehow always be there for her.

Tim nudges her effectively getting her out of her thoughts. “What are you thinking about?” He asks. She looks up at him and then pulls him to a stop.

“This was nice. Thank you.” She says. He kisses her hard and then pulls back.

“You are worth it.” He mutters. “Even if it means not seeing you. You will always be worth it.”

Lucy kisses him again and mutters how he is worth it too. Because he is. They are worth it.

[theawkwardanglophile]

What are your top 5 episodes??

I should have seen this coming! 😂 Thanks for the ask, Sarah, and I’m sorry I didn’t get this out sooner. My brain was mush the past couple of days and I wanted to give this my full attention when I made my decisions. And, man, I DELIBERATED on this! My criteria were episodes that were Chenford-heavy, so some eps that have like one big amazing Chenford scene (4x18 for example) were left out. And I'm sure this might change at some point, but I feel pretty good about where everything landed for now. So here we go….

5x12 Death Notice This ep just has EVERYTHING: the end of their era of riding together, being flirty at work, ridiculous married vibes (the lint picking??), LUCY LESSON (how did it take them 5 years to come up with the greatest term to counter Tim Tests? Bring back Lucy Lessons in S6!), the lengths they both will go to for each other, Tim's talk with Grey, and of course, NAKED TIME. And that doesn't even cover all of it. I just love it to pieces.

5x10 The List The absolute high this episode gave me, after a full month of bliss already with them being canon. The most delicious rom-commy cold open that I could have hoped for, trying on their entire closets and then being so painfully, adorably awkward on their date. Then Tim and Lucy being ANYTHING but subtle at work, which is just so hilarious considering they can be so stealthy when needed on the job, but trying to hide their relationship? Umm, y'all weren't fooling anyone. Maybe Nolan. And the precious first/second date at the end. The GRANDKIDS, the SMILES, the KISS. Perfection!

4x09 Breakdown An Eric Winter master performance. I just wanted to hug Tim throughout the ep. Luckily, Lucy was there for that job, and what a hug it was! Tim lets go completely and sinks into her, all his walls down. He felt so safe with her. I love how her opinion of him means everything, and she was quick to offer reassurance (I truly believe her words in 4x08 were just a slip of the tongue). But I also love how Lucy is just doing life with Tim, the things that matter. Where was Ashley, hmmm? It's Lucy that's there helping with such a significant job of remodeling Tim's childhood house, and doing some wonderful future sister-in-law bonding with Genny. Also, Tim and Lucy power-walking through the station in plain clothes? A VIBE.

4x12 The Knock The most insane double date ever? My gosh, this ep has so much fun stuff in it, so many little details, that even though Lucy started dating Chris, and Ashley decided to turn a blind eye and continue dating Tim, after watching this I had never been more convinced that Chenford was endgame. Every part of the double date is gold, and Tim and Lucy's scenes on the job beautifully showcase how seamlessly they work together (and their total lack of personal space). LOVE IT.

2x13 Follow-Up Day This ep was an early fave, and still holds a special place. TIM GAVE UP A PROMOTION FOR LUCY. Way before Court Liaison there was THIS. Lucy is his biggest cheerleader this whole ep (and, you know, always), and Grey's knowing looks during the test score scene is *chef's kiss*. And the scene outside the bakery is everything. Their faces say so much! They were being such flirts in S2, to the point that I originally wondered if they might actually start something later that season. THAT'S how powerful that scene was.

Honorable mentions:

2x11 Day of Death I know, I know, and part of me feels like it should be in the top five. I mean, it is without a doubt one of the best episodes, if not the best, they ever made. It's so powerful, and was the turning point in my shipping, because I'd only been mildly intrigued by Chenford in a few S2 eps, but DOD cemented me as a full-fledged shipper (little did I know it would become my best shipping experience of all time). But it can be a hard one to watch, and I just love those others a tiny bit more.

5x08 The Collar There are so many moments to love in this ep. It truly changed everything with Tim and Lucy, and the more I've seen their talk outside at the end, the more it grows on me. It really is so them. Even though they become CANON in this one, I think because there is so much clueless Chris, and the tough scene with the first bomb victim, it just didn't quite make it to the top 5.

3x09 Amber Anyone who was around when this aired knows we all lost our minds pretty good with this ep. It grew on me more and more over time, and I love it so much. The whole confession scene still might be the longest uncut Chenford scene...ever? Just them talking in the shop. It's insanely wonderful! And this ep gave us Parking Garage Face and the beginning of a brand new chapter with Tim and Lucy.

5x01 Double Down Editing to add this one, because I started questioning everything, and it did NOT feel right to leave this one out. What a fantastic collection of moments. The airplane kiss is top tier, HANDS, the gorgeous shots of them in the car in Vegas, it doesn't feel like pretend, etc. And even though I'm so glad they didn't cheat, I'll never be over the fact SHE OPENED THE DOOR FOR HIM AND HE WENT IN.

[backonmybullship]

Okay so I know that people didn't like Ashley when she was dating Tim, but she has done literally nothing wrong, from day one her boyfriend has been in love with someone else.

When she brought it up after the double date he reassured her, and she trusted him but it was definitely a red flag from the get-go. So was the whole Kojo thing, and even the fake proposal.

If your boyfriend asked you to fake a proposal to prank the girl that you think he's a little too close with, wouldn't you say no? I would. I would wonder why he thinks that she would care.

Chris on the other hand was an arrogant dick from the beginning, trying to a 16 year old kid as an adult for one minor drug offense. He truly liked Lucy, but in his defense she was so obviously uninterested the entire time. But it was really weird how he suddenly started looking for houses without telling her? She never gave him an answer and he's like "I'm going to put an offer down!"

They should never have gotten as far as they did, him getting hurt by Rosalind shouldn't have even been able to happen.

But everyone acts like he's like an evil freak or something, no he's just an arrogant lawyer. But his relationship with Lucy was way more bothersome to me than Tim and Ashley honestly.

[aprendimos-el-idioma-del-amor]

Chenford + Ashley isn't right for you

Okay, so here it is. I don't know if this is what you imagined but this is what my brain came up with.

This takes place after 4x21, then it goes au from there on. My headcanon is that Lucy was already aware of her feelings for Tim by then. It was pretty clear to her after the fake proposal.

I'll be posting this on ao3 soon.

What you're looking for has been here the whole time

Tim was staying late at the station to finish the paperwork of a case he had today. He was driving solo today since Lucy was asked to help out with Angela’s case.

“So I hear you’re engaged now,” Angela greeted him at his desk.

“Where did you get that from?” Tim said, looking up from his desk with a stern glare on his face.

“You didn’t think Lucy would talk about the prank you pulled on her,” she raised an eyebrow and put a hand on her hip, “She didn’t seem to find it funny.”

“She should have seen it coming. She couldn’t stop asking me about my relationship with Ashley. She went too far. I wanted to get back at her,” he shrugged. He didn’t know what effect he had on Lucy when he pretended to propose to Ashley.

Angela raised both her eyebrows in surprise: “I thought you didn’t mind talking about private matters with Lucy while on shift.”

“Do I even want to know why you know all of this?” he said as he crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair to get a better look at his friend.

“I’m a detective, I find out everything,” she said with a smirk on her face.

“You know what? I don’t want to discuss this anymore,” Tim said and looked back at his papers, “I have to finish this anyway.”

“Sure, I’ll leave you to it but this isn’t over,” Angela said while shaking her head. Getting him to open up was never easy.

She never truly understood the relationship between Tim and Lucy but she knew they were close. Maybe they’re even closer than she knew. But Lucy has been complaining about Tim’s prank all day and she suspected there was more to it than she was willing to tell.

***

The next day, Tim just walked out of roll call when he was approached by Aaron. He stopped to hear what he had to say.

“Sir, Lucy asked me if I could be your aide today,” Aaron said, taking a stance to show sergeant Bradford he was ready for duty.

“Why couldn’t she be my aide?” Tim frowned, caught off guard by the sudden news.

“She didn’t say. She seemed occupied with something though,” Aaron explained.

Tim shook his head and said: “I need to talk to officer Chen.”

“Does that mean I’m out?” Aaron wondered out loud, sounding disappointed he couldn’t prove himself.

“Just wait until I talked to Chen,” Tim answered sternly, distracted to find Lucy.

When he spotted her, he walked straight to her and yelled: “Chen! A word.”

Lucy sighed when she realized she didn’t get away in time to avoid Tim. She still couldn’t shake off the burning feeling she felt when she saw Tim on one knee in front of Ashley.

“Yes, Sergeant Bradford. How can I help you?” she asked nicely with a bored face. She didn’t want to reveal anything to him.

He sighed and just blurted out the question he’s been wanting to ask since his talk with Aaron: “Do you not want to be my gofer anymore?”

“What? Why do you ask?” she stammered, she didn’t expect his question.

“Because you sent Aaron as a replacement,” he said as a matter of fact. A questioning look on his face.

“Oh right, I just wanted to give Aaron a chance. I know he’s been wanting to prove himself to you,” she excused but Tim could tell it was just an excuse.

“He’ll have plenty of chances. You’re riding with me today,” he said in a no nonsense tone. 

Tim knew something was off with her, she’s been different since that prank he was hoping she would tell him what was going on if they rode together. She always opened up when they were alone in the shop together.

Lucy knew she couldn’t do anything but agree. She sighed and gave in.

“Fine, I’ll go get the gear,” she said in a defeated tone.

It made Tim worry even more. This shift was going to be an interesting one.

***

It was quiet during their shift, Lucy was unusually quiet as well and it made Tim feel uneasy. He’s used to her talking all the time. He kind of missed it.

His fingers tapped on the steering wheel, keeping himself from asking the one question that’s been bothering him since they sat down in the shop. He was hoping she’d tell him what’s bothering her on her own but she seemed determined to ignore him.

When lunch was still the same thing as the entire morning, he decided it was time to face the problem head on when he started up the shop again.

“Okay, that’s it. Spill it,” Tim finally said once they were in the privacy of the shop.

Lucy turned her head quickly in surprise and asked: “What do you mean?”

“First, you don’t want to ride with me anymore and then you don’t say a word once we do,” he threw a look at her to show her she can’t fool him.

“I mean, did I do something?” he asked, shuffling in his seat, not liking how vulnerable that sounded.

“It’s nothing,” she said as she looked away, not liking the subject.

He noticed her unease and he could see right through it. She didn’t want to talk about it but he hated the awkwardness between and he wanted to resolve it.

“Well, it’s clearly something if you try to avoid the subject like the plague,” he said in a flat tone.

“Fine? I’ll tell you what’s up,” Lucy turned around, anger clear in her voice, “I didn’t appreciate that prank you pulled with Ashley when you got down on one knee in front of her.”

“You’re mad about that?” he said, surprised, “It wasn’t a big deal. Besides, she doesn’t want to get married or have kids anyway so it didn’t mean anything.”

“She doesn’t?” she asked with raised eyebrows, she didn’t see that coming.

“She told me right before,” he said, a slight tinge of sadness can be heard in his voice.

She wanted to ask more questions about that but right at that moment, a call came in and they had to get back to work.

They didn’t have the chance to talk more about it for the rest of the shift.

***

After shift, Lucy was walking to the parking lot, ready to go home. It was a long day today.

When she opened the door, she came face to face with Tim. Their eyes crossed and he gave her a tentative smile.

“Hey,” he greeted her.

“Hey, all done with the paperwork?” she asked quietly.

“Not really, but I’ll get it all done tomorrow,” he dismissed. He couldn’t admit he wanted to catch Lucy to finish their conversation today.

“Alright,” she answered and looked around, “Listen, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry to hear Ashley doesn’t want to get married or have kids. I know you’ve always wanted to be a dad.”

“It’s fine, I’ve already accepted it isn’t the cards for me since Isabel and I got divorced,” he dismissed, trying hard not to show how much her saying that meant.

“Don’t say that. I’m sure there’s still a chance,” she said in a soft voice.

“I don’t think so. Ashley seems pretty adamant on not having kids,” he shrugged, acting like it’s no big deal.

“That’s because Ashley isn’t right for you,” she blurted out without thinking.

“What?” he said as he looked up from the ground, not expecting that.

“You just always seem to give in to whatever she wants even if you don’t like it. From what I heard, you never do what you want. She always makes the decisions,” she said and looked down. She wasn’t sure how he would react.

“We compromise, that’s what you do in relationships,” he answered and shrugged, not seeing the problem.

She took a deep breath and said: “You’re the only one who makes any compromise.”

He was silent after this, he didn’t know what to say to that but the truth hit him hard. He never thought about his relationship like that.

“Tim, it just seems like you’re settling and you deserve more than that,” she gave him an encouraging smile.

He swallowed, hit by a warm, fuzzy feeling. Her words moved him in a way he never imagined he could.

“It’s not like there are many options left for me,” he admitted, revealing his thoughts that he kept hidden from everyone.

“Maybe you just haven’t looked good enough,” she said, having a hard time swallowing. She revealed way too much for her comfort.

“What are you saying?” he asked quietly, not trusting his voice.

Lucy sighed and prepared herself to tell him what she’s been thinking for a while now.

“I’m saying that you could have everything you want, you just need the right person,” Lucy looked into his eyes to show her sincerity.

“Who would that be?” Tim asked hoarsely. He found himself hoping she was talking about herself. 

All the feelings he pushed down without knowing came rushing back. The same feeling he had when he hugged her after Jackson’s death in his house resurfaced and he realized what it was now. It was love, he wanted nothing more than to pull her closer and kiss her until they could no longer breathe.

It was an overwhelming feeling but it was welcome. It felt surreal and if it was a dream, he never wanted to wake up.

She didn’t answer, she only looked into his eyes and he could read all her emotions in them. She wanted the same thing as him and he couldn’t stop himself, he took a step closer to her.

Her breathing became labored when their lips were hair’s breadth away from each other. Slowly, he leaned in.

She pulled back once she noticed the move. She shook her head and said: “We can’t,”

He only frowned in answer. He didn’t misread her intentions, did he?

“You’re still with Ashley and I’m still with Chris,” she explained once she saw his confusion.

“Right, we can’t do that to them,” he said as he looked away. Logic replacing the fog in his head.

“Why don’t we revisit this conversation after we talked to them?” she suggested, hope obvious in her eyes.

“That sounds great,” he said and couldn’t stop the smile forming on his lips.

Her breathing hitched, Tim never looked this handsome before. She loved his smile, she hoped it wouldn’t be the last one.

“So would you like to go to dinner sometime?” she said and smiled back at him.

“I would love to,” he said as his smile brightened. 

He couldn’t wait until that moment came but it was worth the wait.

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND- Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 4 Ep 21 & 22

Here's another pair of episodes that have been requested together a few times, now, so I'd love to answer the call!

SPOILER ALERT: If you hate spoilers, you'll hate this. Run away. Turn around. Scroll on by. If you do choose to enter in, I'm going to write this as though I were seeing the episodes for the first time, but I will be spoiling both these episodes and reference episodes leading up to it.

If you're ready to read, I'm ready to share. Let's dive in!

Mother's Day

"Mm, yeah, that's a hard pass. Look, I'm boycotting Mother's Day, but even if I wasn't, I really don't think this is the right time to meet your parents."

Lucy Chen putting up her walls and keeping the men she dates at arms' length is completely on-brand. We haven't even heard her call a guy she was seeing "boyfriend" to date on this show.

And with everything going on with her mother and her utter lack of support for her daughter, I don't blame her for not making a big deal out of Mother's Day.

Also, Chris, honey. It will never be the right time for Lucy to meet your parents because y'all ain't gonna last. Lucy is meant to be with Tim. You saw it, once, at the world's worst double date, but you've chosen to ignore it. So, you're a moron.

"I figured you'd say that. But they've been hounding me about meeting you for weeks."

Run, Lucy. Run. Because his parents sound as clingy as he is, and you do not need that drama in your life.

Your instinct is right not to want to meet his parents... maybe you don't need to continue knowing Chris, either. Just sayin'.

"Are you really freezing your mom out?" "I mean, I bought her flowers. I'm not an anarchist." "I'm thinking we just lock in the Hyatt. They have a lazy river, what else do you need?"

Oh, look. Tim and his Blonde Bitch and Lucy and her Dead Weight Puffin have run into each other in the station.

Last time the four of them were together, it looked like Chris and Ashley were mighty jealous of Tim and Lucy's connection. I mean, if I were sitting at a semi-romantic dinner next to the love of my life, I'd be distracted, too!

"You think I'd be sick of beaches, at this point, but it's gonna be awesome."

Watch how Lucy looks at her man (and I don't have to clarify which man in the scene, because y'all know how this goes).

She's looking at Tim like he's got a second head. Because there's no way this man is going to be happy going to the beach. He doesn't. like. SAND!!

"I gotta get to work." "Me, too. I'll walk out with you."

Good. You two can take a long walk together, realize you're perfect for one another, and leave Tim and Lucy the hell alone. Everybody wins! (especially us)

"Call me if you change your mind." "I'm not going to."

Love how he touches Lucy and she physically pushes him away. Like, back off, dude. When Lucy's mind is made up, it's made up.

"Change your mind about what?" "He wants me to meet his parents. So, uh, whose idea was Hawaii?" "Mine, I guess, why?" "

Nyla's arrival interrupts the thoughts, but we all know why. Tim Bradford is Tim Bradford-ing, again, and giving too much in a relationship. He hates sand! And he's suggesting they vacation... on an island.

But there's something else needling at her about this vacation...

"Are you proposing to Ashley?"

Look. At. Her. Face. Her face right before she asks. She's building up the courage to ask him this, because big Hawaii vacation is more than he ever did with Rachel, and it screams romance, right?

"What!?"

Cackling laughing at this. This is the furthest thing from his mind, right now. Yes, he's dating this... person... and they're doing dating people things. But, he's not even thinking about marrying her.

"Of course not. We've only been dating a few months."

This suggests that Tim Bradford likes to take things slow, and isn't in a rush when dating someone. But, the "of course not" shows that he thinks it should be obvious to Lucy.

"You might not be aware of some of the signals that you're sending." "What kind of signals?" "The kind that makes her get a manicure because she's assuming she'll be sending pictures of her hand to all her friends."

Tim looks terrified. Look, we all know Ashley is a placeholder girlfriend until Tim and Lucy get their act together. But he doesn't know that.

Tim is visibly shaken. His hand is unsteady on the wheel, he's looking back at Lucy repeatedly while stumbling through answering the call. Because he really never contemplating marrying this woman. Something in him knows she isn't the one.

*hint* The gorgeous, badass gal beside you with the sunshine-y personality and compassionate heart is right there. Might wanna ask her something sometime, eh?

"My abuela taught me the perfect curse to put on him."

I have to put this line in here for context. Yes, Angela is talking about Nyla's ex. But we now know that if you need a curse, Angela's your gal.

"When did hotels get this expensive?" "Oh, that's pretty good." "Seriously?" "Yeah, I mean, it's a nice hotel."

First off, Lucy is doing all the planning for any trips they take once they get their act together. Second, this kinda hurts. It drives home how long it's been since Tim's taken a romantic vacation.

We know that Tim remained faithful to Isabelle while she was missing. We know that they were together for a long time. But when did they stop going on vacation together? How long has it been?

Tim, you deserve to go on more romantic vacations... but not with Baywatch Reject, okay?

"Oh, you're going to Hawaii. Congratulations on your engagement." "Ah, told you." "I'm not getting engaged!" "Does your girlfriend know that?" "Yes. It's not an issue."

Annnnddd... another voice echoing the romantic vibe of Hawaii that lends to the expectation of engagement. I was rolling!

"Looks like you won't be the only one getting married." "What?" "Nothing. Ignore her."

I love the look that Angela and Lucy exchange, here. Much as there have to be bets rolling around about Chenford, I'm sure there are other bets, gossip, and secrets in that station.

Angela knows Tim better than most, but even she knows that Lucy could be onto something she's not. When this all started, Tim and Lucy had to hear about each other through the rest of the Station.

Now, they've got one another on speed dial and are the first to know what's going on with the other. So... maybe Tim is proposing.

"Ashley can't possibly think I'm proposing." "Why not? I mean, you're of a certain age-"

Tim's face on that had me rolling. We can estimate he's about 10-12 years older than Lucy. And that reaction was priceless.

"She is in her prime. I mean, on paper, it's, it's like a no-brainer. Okay, be honest. Can you see yourself married to her?"

He can't. We can see in his face right there that he really can't. And as the wheels are turning, something pops into his mind that sets him on edge. He glances over at Lucy and he nearly gulps.

Now, I can't tell you what he saw. I'm a Meta writer, not the show Writer or the actor. I can postulate all I like, but I don't know the answer here. But my guess? If he thinks of the future and being married again... he sees Lucy.

Because the person for him isn't the person he's dating. I truly believe he started this relationship with Ashley as a way to distance himself from his growing feelings for Lucy. He's burying them deep down, the same way he did his trauma with his father. And like his father, it's going to take an external force to bring it all to a head.

Lucy is trying to get Tim to talk this out, the way that she talks things out. But we can feel the edge to everything, here. She's not yet fully aware of what she feels, but it's there.

It's dripping in her hesitancy at first asking him if he's proposing, in her nervousness at his response to this question. Because if he's that serious about Ashley, there will never be room for them.

And as Lucy waits for her answer, Tim realizes he can't say the truth. So, he lies.

"Yeah. I can."

The cameras purposefully focus on Lucy, here. On her disappointment. On her sadness. Because, she's not ready to admit it, but she's falling for Tim.

Yes, she is with Chris for the same reason Tim is with Ashley. They both think the other isn’t an option (though for different reasons, at this point). They're both deflecting because they can't get hung up on something that'll never happen.

It's admirable, in a way. They're trying to be happy for the other person while hoping they'll pretend themselves into believing they're happy, too.

"I'm not expecting a proposal. I would say no if you asked."

Proving that everyone got into Tim's head, he addresses the issue with Ashley directly. But I don't think he expected this. Tim isn't ready to face his feelings for Lucy, but having this door shut is unexpected.

"I have no interest in every being married or having kids. I'm just not wired that way."

First of all, there is nothing wrong with being this way. Nothing at all. Some of my closest friends never wanted to be married or have kids, and as we near 40, they've stuck to that and are quite happy.

But there is something wrong with Tim being with someone like that. Because he wants the wife and kids.

Tim didn't have the stability of a safe and loving home, and he wants so badly to break the cycle and pass on a different legacy to his own kids.

Tim spots Lucy watching from the window, and he decides to turn the situation on his head. He's been stressed the eff out all day worrying about this. Now that he knows Ashley has zero interest in marriage, he has to have some fun.

Lucy's Heart Breaks

I don't think she knows until this moment just how deep it is, how she feels about Tim. She's known for a while that something was there—something that could never be.

But watching through the glass as he gets engaged to someone else... it hits so hard she can't ignore it. She can't pretend it away. She can't bounce back.

I've seen people say this is the moment for her—the moment she realizes she's falling for Tim. I go back and forth on it. Because she's known for a long time that she has a thing for Tim.

We saw back in 4x01 that she was totally ready to sleep with him. And while Lucy's confident in her sexuality, she doesn't sleep with just anyone. We know she doesn't do one night stands. She has her standards and sticks to them.

Even earlier in this episode, she can't be completely oblivious to how she feels when he says he can see himself marrying Ashley. No, I'd argue that Lucy has known since 4x01 that there was something there.

Is this a point of no return for her in terms of pretending? Yeah, I can go with that. Because in this moment, she can't shake it loose, and she can't move on. Tim is engaged and she's heartbroken, and they were never even really a thing, right?

So, is this the moment she realizes she has feelings for him? No. I think 4x01 sealed that up because she knew she was willing to sleep with him that night. But, is this the point of no return in terms of pretending not to have said feelings? Yeah, I can roll with that.

Chris approaches, and she keeps looking back at the parking lot, because that's where her mind is stuck.

"It's a good thing you didn't come because my mom, she drove me crazy."

Lucy offers a half-laugh. But she's visibly upset. She's so distracted that even Chris, Mr-Hums-THE-Song-And-Can't-Read-A-Room picks up on it.

"What's wrong?" "Nothing. I-"

Her phone goes off to the "GOT YOU!" message and now she's pissed. Because she's now had to deal with a slew of emotions striking her all at once, only to find out it was a joke.

"Could you just wait here. I need to go find Lopez and figure out how to put a curse on someone." "Yeah, right. Oh, you're serious."

"Serious as a heart attack", as they say. Tim screwed with her emotions, and she's pissed.

Day in the Hole

AKA "Finding Your New Favorite Flavor"

"Come on. We gotta get to work." "She'll be here." "Seriously, we gotta go." "She'll be here."

Mom and Dad waiting for their daughter to show up. Come on, you see it, too! Tim's back from his vacation with the Land of Sand, and we've thankfully left Lucy's jump-scare behind us.

Hopefully the curse doesn't work too well because Lucy might want things to not fall off in the future, if you know what I mean.

Lucy is applauding like a proud mother as Tamara nearly kills a couple people. Tim's glaring like a slightly-annoyed father. I love this family.

"My car was your first car." "I mean, if we're including cars I've stolen, this is probably like my fifth." "What?" "Joke!"

Yeah, you can't joke like that around your step-dad. Tim's a bit of a hard-ass, if you hadn't noticed.

"You are gonna take it to the mechanic though, right? You never know what these cars have been through." "Yeah, Tim set me up with his guy." "What, you did?" "Yeah." "Oh, you have a heart after all."

Mom and Dad... you're flirting in front of the kid. Like, Tamara's not the kind to go "ew", but, still. You might want to chill out considering you're still dating other people.

"Relax, ok? It was purely self-interest. You would be a total drag to ride with if she died in a fireball of mangled metal on the 405."

Did you hear how Lucy gave him that motherly "tsk" in the middle of this!? I've heard it a few times since in Season 5, but this is the first time I can remember it really standing out to me in previous seasons.

"Joke!"

Not your best first attempt at a dad joke, Timothy, but since it's you, we'll let it stand.

"Previous owner of your car is Jake Butler."

Can I say I love how Tamara kept picking things up off the desk (like a kid) and Lucy played the mother role by wordlessly taking each thing away all while continuing her work? Lucy is such a natural mom!

"Let's take a look at his mugshot... But." "What? What the what?!"

This next shot is GENIUS. I have no idea who came up with this (writer/director, etc), but it's genius. We go from the two shot of them looking at the monitor to a shot of Tim approaching.

He sees something that stops him in his tracks... and then we get to see it, too.

Half the station's gathered around Lucy's monitor. And each actor is giving an amazing performance, here. I've paused and played a million times to appreciate each one. Do it. You won't be sorry.

"What's going on?"

Cue everyone looking at Tim. Except Lucy. She's about a beat behind everyone else, which draws my eye to her, every time. And the music bumps up to give us an auditory transition.

"It's even more uncanny in real life."

Through a combination of swift transitions, body doubles, and Eric Winter being in two different positions, we get the treat of meeting... Jake Butler. Tim's doppleganger.

Come on, how much fun must this have been for Eric Winter to get to play this kind of character after playing Tim for so long? And my husband especially appreciated Jake's pot belly.

Yes, while he hasn't seen this show, Matthew is fairly well-versed in Chenford and my appreciation for Melissa O'Neil and Eric Winter as performers.

We get a bit of split screen at the end (throwing me back to my Parent Trap obsession as a kid... yes the one with Haley Mills. I'm old). And I'm frankly excited at all the different techniques in use for this episode when one actor has to be two characters simultaneously.

"He really doesn't look that much like me." "The hell he doesn't." "Not the brightest bulb, though." "Oh. Oh my god. It's Tim and Dim."

The ladies get a chuckle out of that, but Tim's nonplussed.

"Yo. This is blowing my mind. It's like we're looking in a fun-house mirror of handsome." "Sit down Dim... Jake."

I died laughing the first time I saw this. Lucy really got into his head on that one. But, knowing how easily Lucy can get into his head these days, it's no surprise.

"Have we met before?" "No. That I'd remember." "Oh, you would."

Even Tim's doppleganger is flirting with his girl! Yes, I've seen the episode and know that Dim should know why Lucy looks familiar. But it's funnier this way and just plays into what a dumbass Dim is.

"You just wanna see me pretend to be Dim." "Duh." "Fine. I'll do it." "Yes! Okay, okay."

Lucy is so excited she puts both hands on Tim to stop him in his tracks as he's walking.

"So, uh, we gotta dirty you up. And then we have to slick back your hair, because, you know, that guy was, like, kinda greasy." "You are enjoying this way too much." "Oh, and tattoos! We gotta get tattoos."

Lucy, Tim Bradford isn't your Ken doll. As much as we all know you'd like to practice dressing (okay... undressing) him.

"Rescue 1 status?" "Rescue 1. We're ready in 60 seconds."

How much do I love that Lucy is heading the team to protect her man? There's no way she's going to let anyone hurt Tim, but it also gives us the chance to see some worried Lucy.

Tim's been worried about Lucy going undercover so many times, but we've not really seen her worried before. The hit man UC before was fairly safe. He wasn't in any real danger.

This is different. This is a criminal on his turf with a long drop and plenty of armed guns standing by. Lucy's worried for her man.

"Get ready to breach." "If anyone lays a hand on our UC, you put them down."

Let's be real. Lucy and Angela are two of the most important people in Tim's life at work and outside of it. And here they are getting to be his guardian angels—his wife and his best friend. I love it.

"So, I had Dim's girlfriend picked up." "Okay. Why are you being weird?" "It's easier to show you."

We need Sava to know who is going to go undercover with Tim, right? As if things weren't weird enough with Tim's doppleganger, now we've got Lucy's.

Tim is inside and already waiting for her reaction. Now he gets some payback for how much she was ragging on him and his doppleganger. Tim's smiling like an idiot.

"Guess we know who's going undercover with Dim." "Yeah, Juicy." "No." "That's Juicy." "I don't like that."

Our babies get to go undercover as a couple! They spend so much bloody time trying to run from how they feel, and now they've gotta cozy up to one another and play boyfriend/girlfriend? Sign me up! I'm so ready to see this.

We know both of them are capable in the field, though Lucy's a little more natural on the fly. But getting to see them together's gonna be fire, right?

"If we're gonna make this work, our backstory's gotta be airtight."

Oh, Lucy, honey. I didn't mean actual fire. You've lit enough candles to send a beacon to all of LA more powerful than the Bat Signal.

Lucy brings Tim a beer. And while they've shared drinks before and he's been in her apartment before, I find this particular combination so very domestic. They're brainstorming on the couch instead of at the counter, and I think all of this ambiance shows how relaxed they are around one another.

But also that Lucy's a tiny bit horny. Look, we know she's in a committed relationship with Curried Goat Boy, but subconsciously Lucy has lit a hundred candles because she wants Tim Bradford.

Now, Lucy's not a cheating person. We know this (and I go into more depth in 5x01 Meta and beyond). But, some part of her is subconsciously excited to have Tim in her home and wants the ambiance to be just right.

"Agreed. So, um, how did Dim and Juicy meet." "At a barbecue." "That's lame."

Also, are there barbecues out in LA? Like, real barbecues where you smoke meat for hours at a time? Or is Tim talking about a cook out? They really are two different things... I'm from the South, so we're kinda weird about that.

Plus, when Tim first said it, I said, "Lame." So, I take a small bit of pride in being on the same page with Lucy on this one!

"Really? You think you can do better." "Watch me! Okay, so, um, you were on the run from the cops. A bank robbery gone wrong. You ended up in my building, frantic, looking for a place to hide. And I opened the door for you. I lied to the cops for you. And, ooh, and it got me so hot that we hooked up while they were still searching the building."

Tim's mouth has fallen so far open that we're halfway to his O face.

He's imagining every bit of that. Because, after all, he remembers better when he listens, right? And Lucy just took him through one heck of a journey that will be burned into his brain for a long time.

He's imagining every bit of it... especially that last part.

It takes a second for him to recover.

"Okay. That's, that's, that's pretty good, actually." "Thank you." "Mmhmm." *giggle*

His brain's moving, now, and he's overthinking. Because, what bad guy will ever say, "Kiss your girlfriend or I'll pop a cap in your ass!"?

Also, I love Lucy's giggle. There's an episode in Season 5 where I discuss it extensively, but I love how it makes an appearance, here, considering where this scene is headed.

"So, look, we, we should, we should probably, you know, talk about the elephant in the room." "Hmm?" "You know, if we're gonna sell that we are, you know, actually boyfriend and girlfriend, then we might have to, uh, you know?"

And Lucy does know. But she's having a lot of fun fucking around with Tim. Come on, the girl is so repressed in her feelings for him that she's never gotten to really poke at him this way. And she is loving it.

"Have to, have to what?" "We might have to, to." "Okay, okay. We might have to PDA?" "You know what, forget it." "No, no! Okay, you're right."

Lucy nearly touches Tim's hand before he moves it. They're still very careful about being physical with one another, partly because of the boundaries of their job, but also the personal boundaries they've set with one another.

Remember what I said in 4x01 about proximity making it harder to deny what they feel. They're sitting as far away from each other on the couch as they can, as it is.

"Yeah, you're right. I mean, if we're gonna, if we're gonna have to kiss it probably shouldn't be for the first time." "That's what I'm saying." "Right, yeah."

Because the baddies need to see you kissing, right? Like, isn't that what everyone does when they're engaged in criminal activity? Stop to make out?

Maybe James Bond does, sure, but actual baddies?

Whatever. I wanna see them kiss as much as the rest of you. So, let's see if they can get through the initial awkwardness to get the job done.

"Should we maybe, uh, should we stand?"

It cracks me up that this is so awkward for them. Just a few months earlier (show time) these two were considering the horizontal mambo in his bed, and now they can't even figure out how to get through one kiss.

When Tim makes the kissy face and she runs away, it cracks me up so much. I mean, nobody really kisses like that, first of all, and I'd probably die laughing, too.

Fishy face Tim is not his best look.

"We're professionals. Let's just get this done with." "Woah. Well that's romantic." "I'm not trying to be romantic." "Well, you're succeeding."

Tim and Lucy. Never change. Y'all are making me die laughing when normally I can't stand awkward scenes. But Tim and Lucy can be this frank with one another because neither thinks the other is an option.

Truly, that's what gives them all this freedom. They think the other person has zero interest. They each think it's all in their head. So, they can treat this little moment as something totally bizarre that they have to do for work.

Tim gives Lucy the most chaste-wouldn't-offend-my-Spanish-Catholic-grandmother kiss in the world. And he looks so damn proud of that tiny peck, too!

Lucy echoes all of our thoughts.

"I'm sorry. Is that it?" "You know what, if you're gonna criticize-"

Tired of talking, Lucy pulls him in with both her hands on his face. Their lips meet, and as soon as they do, Tim's hands instinctively go to her arms.

The kiss deepens as the camera shift around them, both of them leaning into one another as Lucy's right hand falls from Tim's face.

Their lips part briefly, the hint of a smile on Tim's lips as his hand settles on her shoulder. Lucy's left hand falls from his face.

This pause could have been the end of it. The second their lips parted, they had done the assignment. Case closed. Kiss achieved. Move on to the next thing.

But Tim and Lucy don't want to stop. Now that they're finally here, both of them want to keep going. Tim has her in his arms. She has her hands on his chest.

In this moment, they've forgotten the assignment. They've forgotten Chris and Ashley. This is the definition of "getting lost in the moment". Tim and Lucy are the moment.

Tim is a touching-foreheads kisser and a top-lip-lover. He goes for hers just as the door behind them opens.

You've. Been. Caught.

Lucy distances herself from Tim by pushing off of him with her hands. His left hand drops from her am as he literally runs to the wall to put distance between them.

"I should probably go."

I love Tamara. Like, she's not judging them in this moment, and she has absolutely no idea what is happening. But, she has to know that there's something between them just waiting to be unlocked.

"No. This is work. This is work."

Lucy spat it out the first time, but she says it again because, well, it's true. And she needs a way to explain this away. Not just to Tamara, but to herself.

"Yeah, yeah, we're, we're going undercover." "Hey, it's cool. I mean, you don't have to explain yourself. I should probably go." "No!" "No, I, I was just about to leave. You know what? No, I don't have anything."

Cackling. Dying. ROLLING the first time I heard that. Tim Bradford is so flustered he can't even remember if he brought anything in with him. And what would he be looking for, exactly? A file? Paperwork?

"I'll see you tomorrow." "Good work tonight. Ay."

Lucy. Chen. Did you really just say that? Even she can't believe she said that. But Tim is too flustered to call her out on it.

"Great work, as well. Bye."

Tim high-tails it out of there so fast. And Lucy lets him go. But why?

Because they both know what just happened wasn't some fluke. They both wanted it. They both felt it. And neither knows what would have happened if they hadn't been interrupted, but both knows that because they were... it's awkward.

Like, they could barely talk about having to kiss. How are they going to talk about the fact that it felt... real?

"I'm gonna go to my room." "Yeah, me, too."

Lucy can't talk about this. Tamara just walked in on her kissing a man who isn't the man she's dating. Not just thin-lipped kissing. We're talking mouths open, bodies touching, hunger growing kind of kissing. And it was with her boss.

And who is outside reeling? Tim Bradford. I love that the writers/director gave us this space to see how Tim feels. Because it would be so easy to dismiss this as a one-sided thing where the subordinate falls for her boss.

But Tim Bradford's been on his way down for a long time. He's been able to push it down, repeatedly. Even last episode when picturing his wife, he had to push Lucy down. I firmly believe it.

But tonight he kissed Lucy Chen. And she kissed back.

I used to think this was his moment of realization, but the more I've rewatched the episodes, I still think 4x01 was a huge revelatory moment for both of them that they've been pushing down and ignoring ever since. They never discussed it and they're both running from it.

This is the episode that makes it so much harder for Tim to run. He's been completely convinced his feelings were one-sided. But this is a hint to him that, maybe, he's wrong. Maybe, just maybe, she feels it, too.

Because she wasn't kissing him like a platonic coworker. She was breathing into him as much as he was breathing into her.

She didn't want to stop anymore than he did, and when Tamara walked in, they were both flustered. She felt it, too.

Yes, Tim's reeling from how he feels because he was smacked in the face with feels tonight. But he's also reeling from the fact that freaking Lucy Chen kissed him back.

"Hey." "Hey."

He was waiting for her. He's been thinking about this since last night, as has she. And he wants to talk to her before they head in.

"Listen, about-" "We should probably-" "Go ahead." "No, you go first." "You sure?" "Mmhmm." "Uh, okay. I just wanted to say..."

His eyes are so soft, here. Look at him. He's more of a show guy, but he's trying to find his words. And Lucy Chen's looking at him so expectantly.

And he chickens out.

"We need more work on our backstory. Give it more depth. Key moments. You know?" "Yeah, we, uh, we could take the morning, you know, while we're waiting for Hajick to call." "Great." "Great."

Look, obviously it's the Season 4 finale and they needed to drag this out more. But there are also a host of obstacles between Tim and Lucy, and he's not entirely sure of how he feels.

Having the night to think has also lead to time for him to doubt. He's doubting his own memories. Maybe it was the beer. Maybe the adrenaline. Maybe it meant something to him and nothing to her.

So, he chickens out. But Lucy doesn't know that. All she knows is that Tim wanted to talk to her, but it wasn't what she'd hoped to hear... so she shoves her feeling back down.

They're both in a point of mad denial. But, I think this episode was a turning point for them because it marks the end of them being able to pretend with themselves.

Yes, they'll still pretend with one another because they care so much about each other that they want the other to be happy, no matter what.

But, within their hearts both Tim and Lucy know there's something there that cannot be ignored any longer. Tim longs for Lucy. Lucy yearns for Tim. And until they start actually talking about all this, that's where they'll stay.

As always, thank you for reading! Please keep the requests coming! It rained all day, the kids had a rainy-weather fun day indoors, Matt has a cold, and I'm still nursing the back thing. So, writing this was a great distraction.

I really appreciate y'all reading and going on this journey with me. Next one'll likely be for Tuesday night's fresh airing of 5x13. But I'll try to get to more requests on the flipside! Stay safe out there.

[renegadesstuff]

TIM LOOKING AT LUCY WHEN HE SHOULD BE LOOKING AT ASHLEY 😍🥹

[theflyindutchwoman]

And you're so concerned about my love life because? Because I don't want to drive around on patrol with you while you are moping about screwing this up. Look, if you like this girl, you should listen to her.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 4.10 - Heart Beat

For a scene that is supposed to be about Tim and his relationship with Ashley, it is very interesting how it actually highlights the bond he has with Lucy… Something that is made perfectly clear with the way it parallels this moment from The Bet : 'Why do I care if Tim dates? […] You just want everyone to be happy'. (2.03) This exchange completes this scene so well, showing how this is really all about these two. How they just want the other to be happy. How she has often helped him in his relationships, how he has always listened to her and this, from the beginning. Lucy may not be particularly fond of Ashley but Tim is and that's all that matters to her. That's why she basically runs after him.

There might be a slight hesitation at first, where she realises that she might be overstepping a bit here, but she also knows that he needs to be made aware of her conversation with his girlfriend. The fact that Ashley felt more comfortable talking about her fears with her, instead of Tim, already speaks volume. And while Lucy might have joked around in the shop, I think that phone call shed a different light on the situation and made her understand that Tim didn't fully get what was going on. That what he interpreted as a dislike for Kojo is instead a fear of him. And she is so taken aback by how cavalier he is at first. I don't think she expected him to react this way. Though that is a thing with Tim : he can be dismissive but he listens. He takes the time to reflect on his own behavior so he can change it. Like when Lucy called him out for the way he treated the gardeners in the pilot or when she was upset that he was getting the credits for her hard work. And this is what is happening here, he's following that same pattern… He needed to hear this. More specifically : he needed to hear this from Lucy herself. Which makes her statement later all the more ironic.

This is really in-character for Tim to deflect a bit. But there's also a genuine curiosity when he asks her why she cares so much about his love life. They're still in this space where they're testing each other in some ways. It says a lot that he doesn't even think of biting her head off for interfering in the first place, like he used to. They are so far passed that. And it is a very good question… One she asked herself after setting him up with Rachel. And yes, this is who she is : she wants the people around her to be happy. But this is different. We have yet to see her set up anyone else on a date or try to help them mend their relationship the same way. Even when Jackson was having issues with Sterling, she simply offered a shoulder to cry on. That little extra is reserved for Tim, and Tim only. That's what makes this parallel so good in my opinion. Because he himself didn't even question it back then. But now that things are changing between them, he is. Their hug, that almost-kiss, their blatant flirting at work… The fact that he needed her at his side when he confronted his father… This is all adding up and there's an awareness that is starting to grow… But what makes this parallel even more special, is how it underlines their selflessness. They have always helped each other in their respective relationships, regardless of their opinions and feelings. The other's happiness is what matters to them. Even here, it's hard to know whether Lucy is aware of her own feelings for him at this point, but either way, she simply sets them aside to help him - consciously or not.

And like I said earlier, her advice is full of irony : 'if you like this girl, you should listen to her'. Because he does already follow this to the letter… with HER. She is the one person he always listens to. The one that makes him want to be better. Tim being offended at her implication that he mopes is downright hilarious - especially in light of season 5a. Her little smirk when she walks away… His epic eye roll… The more things change, the more they stay the same.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday Fandom. We’ve reached THE episode. Sorry little later than usual. Life didn't understand I had a review to do ha I remember not knowing what this ep would quite be. When it was done I had to pick my jaw off the floor. I was in utter shock and felt like a fever dream I was watching. Like did that really just happen? Was that real life? It’s was so exciting to have the payoff.

Even if it felt like it wasn’t real LOL Did my damn best to get everything in. I feel like I’ve become really good at this gif puzzle but eps like this really pushes me to the limit ha. God bless the gif website I found or I would be screwed haha Let’s get this started :)

5x08 The Collar

Aaron wants to shadow Angela and Harper today. He is looking into being a detective someday. So Grey re-assigns him to them and Lucy to Tim. Telling her she’s back on gopher duty. They could not be MORE suspicious or obvious if they tried my god. You know Grey knows his question about riding together is making them more uncomfortable. It's hilarious really. Trying to get them to out themselves. Instead they’re just little awko tacos staring at each other bumbling around.

He knows they’re lying with their 'No's' But he also doesn’t care. LOL They’re riding together whether they like it or not. It's amazing with their lives on the line with UC their ability to lie is amazing. Flawless really. Having to deal with their still weirdness and not show it? Abysmal. Such bad liars in this scene holy hell. The amount of awkward in this 30 seconds floors me.

From the minute Grey suggests they ride together they’re awkward dorks. Ones who don’t know complete sentences or words. This scene says so much with saying so little at the same time . There’s a reason they’ve stayed away from each other. This moment right here. They’re so very aware if they are back in a shop together everything they’ve been avoiding will come rushing back. Such a strong start to the ep for them though. Enjoyed their discomfort so much ha

We start out with them in the shop being awkward af. I loved the shots in this one and their opening one is great. With the cams coming to life and their day starting. Lucy of course is the first the break the silence. Asking him how single life is? He tells her really nice. How he didn’t have to deal with anyone complaining about him watching football all day.

Lucy giving him crap of course about never leaving the house. Things maybe weird between them but their comfortable banter hasn’t suffered. They fall right back into it with this scene. That married energy they have coming right back into play here. Gah they just balance each other out so well it’s insane. Haven’t had a couple this in-sync since Caskett on Castle.

I love him being a hermit though. He earned it after Ashley. He did whatever she damn well pleased for months. You stay home and watch your football babe. You earned it after that disaster of a relationship. Tim does defend himself a little saying he took Kojo out LOL I consider that going out too when I’m needing a hermit day. I'm with you on this Tim.

I love the affectionate way Lucy says he’s hopeless. That’s the beautiful thing about Lucy for Tim. Yeah she gives him crap but she fully loves that man for who he is. She would spend a day being a hermit with him just because it made him happy. D just wrote an amazing fic on that concept actually. (You should read it so so good) Lucy loving and accepting him for who he is and not condemning him for it. Yeah she’s teasing him for being ‘hopeless’ when really she is so fond of who he is as a person. Loves that man inside and out. You can see the adoration on her face when she delivers that line.

Just love the idea of them having lazy Sundays together now. Lucy indulging his hermit ways when he needs it. No doubt Tim indulges when she wants to be out. Because their partnership is a balanced one. Gah I love them. Chris FaceTimes her and Tim looks over and makes a face LOL god damn I love this man. Chris asks her if she’s busy? She says no…but seems not at ease with this phone call. Lucy asks where he is? He tells her an open house…They could not be more opposites in this moment. They spoke earlier about moving in and Chris jumped the gun to houses. Sprinting toward a future she doesn't want.

Lucy wasn't even on board for moving in...She is looking so very panicked. He’s going on about how it needs work but is 3 bedrooms. Tim’s interest now has been piqued and it’s stressing Lucy out for a couple reasons. She is no where near ready for this step and he’s gunning to a house. Second Tim can overhear this adding another level of stress. She doesn’t want Tim to think they are there. Because well they aren’t….Lucy cuts the phone call off abruptly. Asks if they can talk later? Chris being the clueless oaf he is doesn’t pick up on her stress at all. He says 'love you' and she says nothing in reply just ends the damn call LOL

Tim asks if they’re moving together? Lucy looks even more distressed after the phone call. Her body language screaming she’s being dragged into this situation. Kicking and screaming really. Lucy tells him no…Tim follows up with ‘He seems to think you are…’ Lucy is having a panic attack right now when he says that. The way she puts her hand on her chest. Trying to relieve the building pressure of this whole thing. Now there’s a girl ready to move in with her BF…. She seems so rattled the entire conversation with Tim.

Lucy continues on that he kind of sprang it on her this morning. He can read her discomfort like a book. So he continues his line of questioning. Which is unreal because you know the shop is a personal life free zone right Timothy? The fact that he’s the one pursuing this conversation. Being the one to ask the questions. My god how far we’ve come it’s crazy. He can tell how unsettled she is. The way he’s analyzing her and looking at her tells him everything he needs to know.

Yet he asks her ‘You guys are happy right?’ Lucy does a very unenthusiastic ‘Yeah we’re happy…’ Tim presses on like a devils advocate that is making her panic worse. Saying if that's true this is 'The next obvious steps for them then.' Lucy continuing her fake streak saying they’re “super happy.” Ok love sure you are…As she says this she is rubbing the crap out of her tattoo. Just being a lying liar who lies right now. They get a call before the convo continues on.

Everyone gets involved in a stop Nolan and Celina have. She has a bomb collar around her neck and she becomes the focal point for everything. The tension and writing leading up to them getting her to that parking lot in immense. Even though I've seen this episode many many times that portion always gets me. It’s so sad how afraid she is and her re-evaluating her life cause of it. How empty it feels now.

Pam and John talking was heartbreaking. How all she wanted was for her mom to know she loved her ugh. Sadly she ends up dying and that’s where this scene begins for them. I truly think this SL was a motivator for Tim. One of the reasons for where we head in this one. Because it’s so easy to get bogged down with life. To fall into the going through the motions. To have regrets with having a comfort zone. Tim taking a shot based off that.

Lucy expressing how she is feeling. It was upsetting to watch as a viewer. I can’t imagine being there watching that unfold. Tim being her sounding board. Knowing how upset she is right now. Giving her feedback on what he thought was the killers motive. Talking this out because he know it'll ease her mind. Then stupid Chris calls. Blind as a bat couldn’t read Lucy if his life depended on it.

He’s not calling to see if she’s ok or how she’s doing. No he’s calling about a f*cking house. She could not be more distraught right now. What does this tool bag do? Bring up listings. I love how Tim’s eyes pan over to her. Checking in on her emotional state. Seeing she is so distraught. It’s very obvious she is upset and this is the last thing she wants to be talking about. This moment is opening her eyes to who Chris is as a person. She isn’t liking what she sees.

Her ‘wow’ sounds like she is trying to stop herself from going off on him. So ignorant and oblivious to her and what she needs right now. Lucy already wasn’t on board with this which he didn’t see. Now she’s rattled from their current case and this mofo is sending her house stuff. Lucy can’t even process this right now. Tim being her absolute hero and hearing her silent screaming bails her out. “Yelling” at her to get off the phone. Hate his line ‘He’s in a mood.’

No you’re a clueless insensitive idiot. Who he is currently saving her from. He presses about that damn listing one more time before she hangs up. Haven’t wanted to sucker punch him this badly since 4x17. Lucy can finally breathe when they hang up. She looks to her rock and says ‘Thanks.’ A very loaded and grateful one. Tim giving her the sweetest look. Fierce protector reporting for duty. Putting her first in this moment and saving her from that convo going further.

I LOVE how Tim is constantly watching and checking in on her in this episode. He handles this whole thing so well. He’s not a dick telling her to dump Chris. He’s so so god damn attuned to her emotionally. It shows so very much in this episode. Lucy loves to talk things out and yet she keeps avoiding it in this episode. Avoiding truly getting to the root of why she’s feeling the way she is.

Which is fascinating considering that’s her jam. Analyzing and breaking something down. Digging deep to see why something is the way it is. Yet on this one she is avoiding it and Tim gets her to face it. He even gives her an out if she needs it. Telling her if she doesn’t want to move in with Chris she doesn’t have to. Tim just got out of a ‘moving through the motions.’ relationship. His POV on this is excellent.

He doesn’t want to see her settle or be forced into anything she doesn’t want. Just because Chris is ready and wants it. Lucy finally starts to talk about it. Saying why doesn’t she want to move in with him? Telling Tim they never fight. Thats a huge red flag if you ask me Lucy. That’s not healthy at all. Tim telling her maybe that’s the problem here….

It’s this next line above that really gets Lucy’s thoughts in motion. Tim just did a mind f*ck when he asked her this. You can see the realization washing over her in that second gif. Because he’s not wrong. You fight because it is worth fighting for. Chris has always been this blah middle of the road nothing for her. Was a BF? Yes. Was he decent? That’s debatable…

Chris was just there as a safety net for loneliness. Now that he’s becoming more than that it’s becoming a serious issue. One she can't ignore anymore. All their glaring problems coming to light in this moment in her mind. Tim is talking her through this (which I can't get over.) With the most perfect mixture of empathy and logic. She’s slowly realizing he is NOT worth the bother.

Tim is not only pointing this out but with massive heart eyes. Telling her she deserves someone who’s worth the effort. Pre-laying all his cards on the table in this moment. She can’t break the eye contact with him after he says this. Knowing what he means by this statement. This entire episode is him being Tim ‘I’m worth the effort’ Bradford for her. The more she looks at Chris the less she likes it.

The more she looks at Tim the more she knows he’s the one. And that scares her to death. God I love him stepping up and guiding her like this. Not only that but talking her though this whole thing. Something that he avoided like the plague in 3x09. Shaking closure and talking off and saying it was useless. Here he is talking her through this crisis she is having. He’s crushing it too btw. Such an iconic line for them for so many reasons. This makes me squee still rewatching it.

Before their convo goes any further they spot a second person with a collar. This guy is way more aggressive about saving his life. Pulls off and finds some sheers. Saying he’s not waiting around to die. Tim immediately grabs Lucy and heads for cover. It’s the way he holds her and shields her at the same time.

That’s his whole world right there. He would take the heat of a thousand bombs to protect her. Tim has a one track mind in this moment. He’s not thinking Lucy can handle herself. Or she is capable of getting to cover on her own. No he’s thinking that’s the woman he loves in front of a bomb.

It changes his entire perspective. So he full on grabs her and places his body between her and the bomb. Thats his first instinct to throw himself between her and harm. Gah it’s so good and just feels like more in this ep. Proving to Lucy over and over in this one she is worth the effort to him. Fierce protector front and center.

We catch them back in the shop trying to figure out next moves about this next bomb. Chris texts her another listing... In an area she CLEARLY doesn’t want to live in. Tim can’t stand to watch her suffer any longer. He is as straight forward with her in this moment as I’ve ever seen him. He knows she has been on edge all day. From the case alone.

Now she has Chris making matters worse with each interaction. She looks so upset when Tim asks her if she loves him? Noting that 'He clearly loves her.' His growth I talk about a lot and it’s episodes like this that truly show it. Look at this man pressing her to talk about this. He knows she’s in her head and talking it out always makes it better. Tim knows this about her and is pursuing it for that reason.

Lucy has been running from her feelings for Tim for quite some time. She low key knew about them in s4. Then 4x21 happened and they imploded on her. Hitting her like ton of bricks. This moment is her ‘Come to Jesus’ moment about Chris. Also about her feelings for Tim. Saying out loud she SHOULD love him. That he’s great in so many different ways and yet…

It’s hitting her in this very moment she can’t love Chris because she loves Tim. Because that man is and NEVER will be Tim Bradford. He will forever pale in comparison to the man sitting to her left. Tim is the most important person in her life. It’s just hitting her like a freight train what’s happening. I love how she trails off as she comes to this conclusion. The way she looks at him when she comes to this realization.

Doesn't take much for Tim to see what she almost said to him. Lucy says enough that Tim knows what she is saying in this moment. The way he looks at her after her almost confession. my heart. I think this scene is another catalyst to their ending scene. I remember watching this scene and saying ‘You’ for her and squeeing my head off. Because she just basically admitted to not only herself but to Tim. That Chris is not Tim. He never will be…They both know it at this point. He is not 'You' is where she was headed and they both are aware of this.

We’ve reached THE scene. The scene that changed all of our shipper lives. heh Lucy coming up saying she needs to talk to him. Her rubbing that tattoo of hers before she sits down. Tim making a crack about Chris wanting to live in some remote place. I don’t know anything about CA but I imagine that city he listed isn’t great ha

Lucy says ‘No…’ Tim goes right at it telling she just doesn’t want to admit it’s not working. He asks her why she is doing this? When she is clearly so VERY unhappy about this development. This entire episode she spent stressed and on edge about Chris. Asking her if it's the guilt about Rosalind?

Lucy tries to pull a Tim and deflect. Bringing up Ashley and staying in a relationship too long. Tim does not let that fly for one damn second. Continues his assertive comments with her. He gets so worked up when he cuts her off about it above. That this isn't about him. Telling her she’s just hiding in this relationship because she’s scared.

It’s here Lucy blows his damn mind with her reply. Airing her fears of losing the the most important person in her life. Now I think Tim knew there was an attraction on Lucy’s end no doubt. She invited him in for gods sake in 5x01. He knew there was an attraction. What he didn’t know was the level of importance he held her life. It’s written all over his face. He is shocked legit shocked she feels this way about him. Now anyone with eyes could see Tim is exactly what she said. The most important relationship in her life.

The thing is Tim is so very damaged in that way. I get that so very much. Where you don’t expect those around you to love or care as much as you love and care for them. The sucky life of an insanely loyal person who has been burned which I can relate to. My friend just other day told me how much he missed me while I was away in TN visiting my sister. Him and my other friend missed me. I made a joke like oh did you not think I would come back?

Would you miss me or something? He looked at me and was like yes. We love you don’t you know that? I would be devastated if you didn’t come back. We’ve been friends for almost 5 years. It still shocks me I have people who love me and would miss me. So I can deeply relate to Tim being shocked he holds that place of importance in Lucy’s life. He’s NEVER been put first. Not till Lucy Chen entered his orbit.

She panics when she sees his reaction not reading him like she usually does. Thinking she’s overshared. When really Tim is just smitten af with her reply. He is beside himself with shock that he is HER #1 person. He doesn’t feel worthy. Thats not what Lucy reads at first when she sees his reaction. She thinks she’s over shared or over stepped in some way. Tim stops that train of thought right away. Telling her 'No she’s right.' Lucy once again misreads him and thinks they should just back off this then. Better to keep them as is. ‘It’s not worth the risk...’

Then we see our boy do the biggest leap of faith I’m sure he’s ever done and combat her reply with our next iconic OTP line. ‘Unless it is.’ Looks how cute he is when he says this. His precious upside down smirk. Reminds me of his cute smirk from 4x22 after their peck. He looks so excited about this idea. Just look at this puppy of a man. Going for it and telling her I think we are worth this. Wanting to give them a shot. Basically saying we are worth risking what we currently have for what could be.

This next part is where his courage really shines through. I love how he takes this deep shaky breath in the first gif. So nervous to ask her this question. Tim Bradford is NERVOUS everyone. So nervous to ask the woman he loves to take a chance on him. To go out to dinner and give this a shot. He finally finds the courage to ask her. Lucy’s answer is immediate and adorable.

If she could go to dinner right then and there she would. Jumping out of her skin with excitement at his proposal of going out. Tim is so elated and his smile so damn wide when he says ‘Yeah?’ He can’t believe his luck. Looks like the smile of a man who just got everything he's ever wanted. Months of longing over in this moment of courage. He’s so happy she’s said yes. The man is beaming proudly displaying that Lucy smile he reserves for her and ONLY her. Lucy mirrors his elation with her 'Yeah' *heart clutch*

Lucy then back tracks and we watch our boy deflate instantly. He looks so very upset when she takes it back. Her excitement got the better of her and she retracts. I saw a hilariously accurate depiction of Tim in this scene. Said he had golden retriever energy in this moment. All excited and giddy for getting what he wants. Body wiggling with absolute joy. Then is told no and is all sad and deflated. Then he doesn’t perk back up until she says she needs to end things with Chris first.

The analogy cracked me up because it was accurate. He looks so very gutted when she says no after. Has that 'This was too good to be true I guess.' energy coming off him in waves. Lucy tries to rectify the situation with her reason why. Doesn't want to see that sad look on his face. The man looks devastated. He just went from an absolute high only to come crashing down seconds later. The way he nods like he understands but is really hurt about it. My poor puppy of a man.

I love how he lights backs up when she tells him to ask her again. Later. After she’s rid herself of the dead weight that is Chris. Making sure Tim knows she wants this just as much as he does. She just needs to end things first. Make it right. No one gets doing things honorably more than Tim Bradford. His cute smile after he tells Lucy 'Deal.' His hope returning. Their body language above in the last gif is everything. Their bodies are pointed towards each other. They couldn’t be happier right now. Leaning in toward one another finally giving into that magnetic pull of their's. Both grinning like idiots in love. Gah I can not. I am a puddle. I remember rewinding that scene to make sure I saw and heard everything correctly.

I was expecting their pining era to last longer tbh. I was delightfully surprised when Tim of all people took the leap. Helped Lucy take it with him. For him to be the one without doubts and to go for it was so important. Lucy for the most part has been the catalyst in their relationship. Tim has has his moments. More so in the last season or so. But Lucy has mainly been in the drivers seat. To watch this man overcome his fear of rejection and go for it with her. my damn heart. This man isn’t scared to ruin what they have because he KNOWS. This is it for him. She is it. I can’t get over how much he’s grown to get to this place.

To be the one to say hey we’re worth the risk. Would you like to go out with me? Showing her she’s worth the effort of leaving his comfort zone. This moment right here is why I’m so glad they did the slow burn. Why I was ultimately happy they didn’t hook up in 5x01. This was the right way to do it. I wouldn’t trade a moment of their journey to get to this point. Not one and that’s is a rarity I’ve only had with one other ship. Castle and Beckett and that is a high honor if you know that ship. This was another daunting one to tackle but so fun to write about. I was buzzing for days after this episode. Mostly just happy this is where our slow burn ended up. Wouldn’t change a damn thing.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

The whole bomb SL with Pam makes me cry every time. It’s so tragic. Will say John was great with her rarely give him props but he does so good with her. Celina having to do the death notice kills me this ep is very emotional.

Bailey messing with John with the clowns is pretty funny LOL but idk how Bailey could think a coyote was a dog lmao ‘how did you get him In the crate?’ 😂

[mamadoc]

First Sentence Game

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

Thank you for the tag, @chenfordspiral !

I feel like this was a very nostalgic exercise for me. Hopefully a few people enjoy skimming through these and maybe even decide to read one or two of my stories. They vary in length from 4k to 150k (yikes!). Many of them are complete, but a couple of them are still works in progress.

1 - *Sense* You Know Me So Well (chapter 2) - complete

Less than ten minutes later Tim’s truck pulls up into the parking lot across the street. Tim jumps out quickly. He is wearing gray dress pants and a black button-up shirt. He is followed, reluctantly, by Ashley wearing a short black skirt and a revealing hot pink blouse. She moves slowly after Tim on her high heels. It was obviously date night for them, too.

“Lucy.” Tim’s voice is strained with concern as he approaches her.

At the sound of Tim’s voice, Lucy lifts her head and flutters open her eyes. “Tim.”

“It’s okay, Luce. I’m here now.” Tim moves past Chris, barely acknowledging his presence. He sits down next to Lucy. “Breathe with me.”

She closes her eyes again and tries, but her breaths are still shallow, her face is ghostly pale, and her hands are shaking.

Tim reaches slowly for her right hand and pulls it gently to his chest. Lucy looks up at him with worry in her eyes, but she accepts his hand and the movement. Even a little touch of his hand helps to calm her shaking a little bit.

“Just match my breathing, Luce.”

She tries. She does. But the panic attack still holds her in a tight vice. As she takes her next breath in she can smell the mintiness of Tim’s breath. It helps to calm and soothe her.  It is the same scent she was accustomed to smelling on him for years.  She can almost taste it. The mintiness carries with it a familiarity and comfort.  She grips his shirt a little tighter and leans into him a bit. Now she can smell just Tim – his cologne, the aftershave he uses, and just…him. Her next breath is slower and steadier.

“That’s it.  Good job.  I’m here now.  You’re going to be okay,” Tim mutters as the spell seems to be breaking. He has moved his hand to her back and rubs it in little soothing circles.

The sound of his voice in her ear, the smell of him, the sight of him here with her, and the feel of his touch prompts Lucy to lean in further and rest her head on his chest. All of her senses now are filled with Tim, and the rest of the world and her worries start to fade away.

Chris stands back watching this all happen.  He doesn’t understand why Bradford could say the same things he did and touch her the same way he did and get a completely different reaction.

2 - *Sense* You Know Me So Well, Too - The Sequel (chapter 2) - complete

As the other officers were collecting photos and evidence from the home, Tim’s eyes wandered to a line of photographs on their mantel.  They looked all too familiar – pictures with a new baby, Christmas photos, the oldest kid in a baseball uniform… Tim felt his blood pressure rise again, and he balled his hands into fists. 

Aaron glanced over when he returned to the house and sensed that something else had happened to make Tim even more angry than before.  Now his facial expression was so tense he had veins visibly pulsing on temples.

He leaned over toward Nolan and whispered, “Have you ever seen Bradford go super nova? I think he’s headed that way.”

“What? Tim? No, he’s been so much better over these last couple years. You should have seen him when we started. He was always so angry and so…mean.  You should hear the stories Chen could tell you.”

“Nolan,” he hissed. “I’m serious.  Look at him.”

“Aaron,” he chided.  “He’s fi….” Nolan was going to say that he was fine, but then he looked up at Tim and saw that he was definitely NOT fine. “Okay,” he conceded. “I see your point.  He’s not fine.”

3 - The Heimlich - complete

It was another beautiful day in LA. Lucy and Chris were chatting while sipping their morning coffees at the Mid-Wilshire station. Lucy was already in uniform ready to go to roll call.

“Hey. What time do you think you’ll be able to take lunch today?” Chris asked, seeing more and more officers gathering for roll call and knowing Lucy had to join them.

“Uuuuuh. I don’t know. The day can be so unpredictable. I think I’m riding by myself today, so…”

Their conversation paused as Aaron and Tim walked up to them.

“Good morning,” said a confident and enthusiastic Thorsen. “I’ll see you in there,” he said pointing to the gathering officers as he continued to walk by them.

“Sanford. Chen,” came a gruff voice as Tim nodded at each of them. He obviously wasn’t in the mood to talk. He looked at them standing close together, smiling, and sipping their coffee, and he wanted none of that. He had plenty on his mind already. He didn’t need to have images of them being so chummy and close haunting his mind today, too.

Tim walked past them to roll call, nearly bumping into Chris’ shoulder as he strode by them.

4 - Catch of a Lifetime - (chapter 1) - Working on chapter 19 now

The next batter was new to the Dodgers.  He had come up from the Atlanta Braves organization. He was a super star there and had led his team to a World Series win. When he became a free agent after the World Series, everyone expected him to stay with the Braves.   But the Dodgers had made him an offer he couldn’t refuse, and he signed with them instead. LA had welcomed him with open arms as he started the season with a .320 batting average, 4 stolen bases, 25 RBIs, and a whopping 10 homeruns.  Everyone knew that Tim Bradford was good, but this was hall of fame good! He was trying his best to live up to that reputation and show his new fans that he was worth the $160 million 5 year contract.

The crowd was still on their feet when he came up to bat, and now it was stomping and cheering. Bradford stood at the plate and kicked the dirt a couple times.  The pitcher wound up and threw the ball.  It was a slider that hit the catcher’s mitt in the outside corner.  Strike!  The noise level rose even higher. The second pitch was a ball in the dirt.  The third pitch caught everyone by surprise as it came right at Bradford’s hands.  He was able to step back just in time to avoid being hit by a pitch.  Although it didn’t seem possible, the noise level grew even more with calls and shouting at the pitcher from around the stadium.

Lucy and Jackson stood wide eyed, their attention rapt in the action of the game.  It was impossible to ignore the palpable excitement.   Lucy turned to Jackson and grabbed his shoulders in excitement and then turned back to the game.

The pitcher wound up a fourth time.  Despite the immense noise level at the stadium, the crack of the bat echoed through the air.  Bradford had hit the ball high and far.  The right fielder was running back to the wall.

Everyone in their section was already on their feet eager to catch a homerun hit by Tim Bradford. As the ball soared closer, Lucy recognized it was coming right toward them.  Well, almost at them, but a little bit more toward Doug Stanton.  Stanton also saw it coming and was standing ready with his glove. Time seemed to slow down for a few seconds.  Lucy smiled, squatted down slightly, pushed off of Jackson, and flew through the air in a perfect flying tackle, crushing Doug Stanton and catching the homerun. The whole stadium erupted in cheers, but the LAPD section outcheered them all. Jackson and several other cops from Mid-Wilshire ran to Lucy and hoisted her up in the air.  Doug Stanton was left crumpled on the floor, half-stuck under the bleacher. Lucy held up her glove with the homerun ball and yelled at the top of her lungs, “I GOT IT!!!”

5 - Snowed In - complete

“Hey! Just wanted to call and tell you that I got through security just fine.  The flight is listed as on time, and I can just now see the plane.  So, I think you should drive back to the cabin before the storm starts.”

“Are you sure?  It’s not a big deal to wait until you are actually in the air,” Rachel said.

Lucy Chen sighed.  She loved her friend, and she’d had a great four days with her.  They skied and snowboarded.  They made a fire in their cabin’s fireplace each night and caught up with some of their closest college friends while sipping on hot chocolate or wine.  They shopped at all the cute shops in town.  But Lucy was ready to return to her regular life and not be surrounded by so much drama – or maybe just the type of drama she was accustomed to.

“I’m sure. My weather app says that there’s a storm coming in the next hour or so.  You should get going before you get caught in it.”

“Okay.  It was so fun to see you. We should do this more often.”

6 - After the Snow Melts - a series of one-shots in the Snowed In universe

It had been three days since Tim had seen her.  Three days since he talked to her. Three mornings of waking up without her. She had said it would just be a day, maybe two.  But undercover work can be unpredictable; they both knew that.

She had promised she’d be home by Valentine’s Day.  She told him she had a surprise for him, a surprise he was going to love. He reminded her that he hated surprises, and then she recalled several surprises she had had for him in the past that he loved.   He had smiled into defeat; she was right, of course. They had reservations at 71Above, where they had their first botched date and a redo date back in their first week of dating.

But here it was Wednesday, February 14th, and Lucy was still gone.

7 - Worth the Wait (part of chapter 3) - Working on chapter 11 now

“I know you have a strong moral compass.  You always try to do the right thing and protect the people in your life. I’m glad I got to be one of those people.” Her voice cracked a bit as she said that, so she took another breath and tried to finish her thoughts. “I will miss you, but I… I will respect the situation you are in and keep my distance.”  She sat up a little straighter and pressed down on her blouse to straighten out the folds in it. Then she stood and took her pile of tissues to the trash.  She bent down to grab her purse and took a few steps toward the door.

Tim watched her in silence.  She walked closer to him and looked up into his eyes. She smiled at him a very sad smile. Tim couldn’t help what he did next.  It was like a magnetic force pulling them together.  He closed the gap between them and pulled Lucy into his arms. She immediately tucked her head into his chest and turned her head to hear his heartbeat and breathe him in.  One of her arms wrapped around his lower back while the other clutched at the hospital gown over his chest.

Tim cradled her head with one hand and put the other hand firmly between her shoulder blades, keeping her pressed against him. He leaned his head down on top of hers. “Lucy,” he whispered, his own voice cracking with emotion. “I’m so sorry.”

Lucy broke down again. Her tears that had started to moisten his hospital gown soon seeped through the thin fabric, and he could feel them on his chest. The salty water seemed to burn directly into his heart as he felt this emblem of their shared pain make a mark on his soul. They rocked together to the rhythm of her cries for several minutes.

8 - Kintsugi - The Golden Repair - complete

“But this time it’s going to take more effort.”

He nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “Yeah. I know. I ruined things. Everything.”

“Everything isn’t totally ruined, but it is shattered into enough pieces that it’s going to take time and effort and care to rebuild it,” she said gently. “I need to know that I can trust you with my heart again.”

“Mmm.”

“Did you know that in Japan when a precious piece of pottery is broken that they glue it back together with a special lacquer and then paint the lacquer with gold or silver powder? It’s called Kintsugi, which means golden repair. Once the piece is finished, it’s considered more valuable and beautiful than before it was broken.” She paused for a moment to let what she said settle in. “Do you see what I’m talking about?”

“I broke our pretty pot, and you want to put it back together with gold glue?” he said with a note of curiosity and some hesitancy.

“Yeah.  That’s the gist of it, I guess,” she said as she blew out her breath. “I don’t know if it’ll work. Even the best artisans can fail at kintsugi. Not all pieces are suitable for repair, and not all artisans are skilled enough to do it. So, I can’t promise this is going to work. I don’t know if we can repair what we had.  But I’m willing to try if you are.”

9 - A Different Kind of Mother’s Day - complete

It started off as little things that Lucy saw on her social media – birthstone jewelry, mother/daughter matching outfits, Etsy shop specials on personalized mom shirts, mugs, and picture frames.  All of them crept into the ads on her phone in April to allow plenty of shopping time.  At first it didn’t bother her; she just kept scrolling.  But as May drew closer, the ads and the chatter about Mother’s Day started to accumulate.

She never used to mind Mother's Day.  She would get her mother some flowers and call or visit her, ready for the sound of disappointment in her voice or the click of her tongue as she shook her head in shame. It had been that way ever since she had started at the police academy seven years ago. Lucy usually volunteered to work that day so that her colleagues that were mothers could celebrate with their families.  It was easier to stay focused on work that day than to have to deal with her mother.  This way she didn’t have to trudge through guilt trips from her mother or be surrounded by families out celebrating their wonderful mothers. It was just simpler not to have to think about it. In fact, she was proud to work that day and looked forward to seeing her colleagues’ posts and shared pictures of what their children did for them. She hoped that one day the tables would turn, and she would be the one staying home with her little children.

Tagging anyone else that wants to join the fun @silverskull, @thisnightissparkling089, @arch78, @sijetaismoi, @mostowa, @theawkwardanglophile, @rookieoneil, @centralperkchenford, @girlintotv, @imperiumwifestrikesagain and @fuzzywuzzywuzzawriter

[literali1110]

Chenford 5x02

That Chenford scene was perfection for me. It was angsty, it was beautiful, it was bittersweet. It was the end of an era, but it opened the door for something bigger and better. Here’s my little between the lines breakdown, because so much was “said” without being said!

To begin with, Chris called Tim (thank goodness for magical recoveries in the Rookie timeline!), a parallel to when Ashley called Lucy. They know who knows them the best!

“It’s not the right time.”

“You owe it to yourself to go.”

“I know--”

“What happened to him isn’t your fault.”

(The same words from Chris hold no weight. She needs to hear this from Tim, a direct parallel to her “what happened wasn’t your fault” after her own kidnapping.)

“We were about to--”

Lucy feels guilty about what happened to Chris, because she didn’t testify at Rosalind’s trial. It’s the reason she tells Chris, and Nyla, she wants someone to absolve her of her guilt, tell her she should go because she really wants to go. But they can’t give her the answer she wants to hear, because they don’t know the whole story of why she feels guilty. Only Tim does.

“But we didn’t. We didn’t.”

“There is still hope for us, we didn’t ruin anything, we can still do this the right way, when we're not in relationships, when I'm not your direct boss.”

Tim feels guilty about what they almost did, too, but he needs Lucy to feel absolved of that guilt, because she deserves this opportunity. And they deserve the chance to do this the right way.

“Are you trying to get rid of me as your go-fer?”

This feels like a breakup to her, this feels like a rejection, but this is just as painful for Tim. He wants her to stay, he wants her to keep riding together, but they can’t continue like this. It’s not fair for her professionally. He's doing this for her, because he cares about [loves] her And he’s doing this for THEM, for what they can become.

“No. I’m trying to look out for you. It’s time for you to move on.”

This all goes back to the initial conversation in 4x03 where he said he didn't want people getting the wrong idea about them together. Although she may not have got his meaning right away in this scene, he IS clearly saying that if they don't ride together professionally, it means they can be together romantically eventually.

“And some time away would be good.”

She’s still not completely understanding, but that’s okay. She’s going to have a month or more to come to terms with everything. Everything was very physical up until now, she was basking in the aftermath of their first kiss, and then she had a visceral need for comfort and grounding in their second kiss, then what they almost did was going to be mainly physical, and she wasn’t ready yet to admit feelings, not to herself, not to Tim. But she will catch up.

“It’s a great opportunity, Lucy.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“You should go for it.”

As painful as this is, he has to walk away, he has to let her go, because it’s the only way she will come back to him, as his, as each other’s. And they are both teary eyed (seriously it was their eyes that did me in!), and she seems to get a look in her eye showing that she is beginning to understand...

----------------------------------------------------

We knew this day was coming, we knew they would have to stop riding together, we thought that moment was coming many times and it’s finally here and it’s bittersweet. In a way, we the Chenford fandom are Lucy in that scene, and the ‘Chenford partnership era’ is Tim. And Chenford!partnership is telling us it’s time to move on and that hurts us and they are hurting as well to part with us but they know that it’s a great opportunity and its the way forward to romatic era! Chenford. (Did that make any sense? haha) 

[centralperkchenford]

Tim finds an old valentines letter/card Lucy wrote but never sent whilst he was with Ashley 🥰🥰

First Valentine’s Day story 💗. I hope you like this!

Tim finds an old valentines letter/card Lucy wrote but never sent whilst he was with Ashley 🥰🥰

Love letters straight from your heart

Tim grumbles as he rummages through the drawers. He’s looking for a flashlight and his girlfriend apparently doesn’t have one or one that has batteries. He makes a mental note to update all her emergency items. Just in case.

He pulls out a stack of papers and puts them on the counter, shaking his head and peering into the drawer but there’s no flash light. He picks up the stack of papers and puts them back in making another note to organize this drawer. And maybe the other ones too.

Something falls to the floor and he bends down to pick it up. It’s a Valentine’s Day card with a cheesy saying on front. He furrows his brows wondering if it’s from an old boyfriend or something.

His curiosity takes over even though if it’s from Chris he might puke. It’s bad enough Lucy dated him for so long. The thought of Chris writing her a Valentine’s Day card makes him shudder. But it’s not from Chris. In fact it’s not any ex boyfriend. It’s from Lucy to Tim.

He sits down on one of the stools and reads.

Tim,

This is stupid and I know you are with Ashley and are probably spending Valentine’s Day with her. But this is my way of getting my feelings out, I know I ruined things when we were in Vegas and I’m sorry. I am. But I lied. It did mean something, that kiss was everything and I know it’s my fault but it hurts me seeing you with Ashley.

When you “proposed” to her my heart broke. And I didn’t want to show it so I didn’t and I thought I could move on but.. then that kiss and the next kiss.

I know I’m too late you are happy with Ashley and I should be happy with Chris. I should move on like you told me too but…

It doesn’t matter you will never see me that way, it wasn’t pretend to me and I hope you can forgive me.

I don’t know if this letter will ever get to you but.

You will always have my love.

Lucy

Tim stares at the words on the card, his mind racing. His heart feeling like it could be right out of his chest.

It wasn’t pretend to her. She lied.

He had a feeling she wasn’t telling the truth in Vegas but he didn’t want to push her too much. So he didn’t and he really wish he had. They could of had what they had now sooner.

He rereads the letter and shakes his head at the Ashley part, the fake proposal was suppose to be a joke and nothing more. He never meant to hurt Lucy. He wasn’t happy with Ashley back then he just wasn’t ready to admit it. She was a guard for his feelings for Lucy. She was selfish, self absorbed and entitled. She really thought he would retire for her. She wasn’t the one, he loved his job and would never give it up.

Until Lucy. Because she was worth the risk.

He didn’t regret not even a little bit, and he would do it all over again for her.

He’s so into rereading he doesn’t hear the door open and he doesn’t hear the voice calling his name.

“Tim!” Lucy’s voice rings next to him. He looks over to see Lucy staring at him, her eyes full of concern. “Are you okay?”

He swallows and picks up the card, and her eyes go to it. “What’s that?” She asks but by the time of her voice, she knows exactly what it is.

“I found it.” He says gesturing to the drawer. “You don’t have any flashlights.”

Lucy lets out a laugh although it sounds a bit weak. “Sorry.”

“Lucy.” He says and he steps closer to her. “Did you have feelings for me in Vegas?” Lucy swallows and looks at the card again and then at Tim.

“Yes.” She says. “But I didn’t realize it until it was too late.. I’m sorry I lied Tim. I just didn’t know how to handle it and—”

“Luce.” He says softly. “Baby, it’s me. You could have told me.”

“I couldn’t Tim! We were both in relationships and I didn’t want to mess up what we had!”Lucy says and she sounds frustrated. “You are the most important person in my life. And I wasn’t going to ruin that.”

Tim smiles softly and tucks some hair behind her ear. “Remember what I told you Lucy? You deserve someone who is worth the effort. And even when things get tough I know we will put in the effort.”

Lucy smiles too though it doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “I know and I love you for that. But I can’t help but think if I hadn’t lied..we might have stopped being stupid sooner.” She says softly.

“I thought of that too.” Tim admits. “But I think we did it right Luce. We got together exactly when we were supposed to.”

Lucy smiles again and this time it’s more of a her smile. “Yeah I guess you are right.” She takes the card out of his hands and tosses it aside and then kisses him. He kisses her back, and lifts her up putting her on the counter.

“I love you.” He says. “I wouldn’t have it any other way than the way we are right now.” Lucy leans forward to kiss him her legs wrapping around him.

“Yeah me neither.” Lucy says softly. And he pulls back to look at her. She’s beautiful and glowing and all his.

“So how many letters did you write to me?” He asks teasingly his hand going down her back and pulling her closer.

“Just that one.” She says against his lips. “Or maybe I have more you will never find them though.”

He laughs pulling her off the counter and walking them back towards her room. The abandoned card on the ground. The search for the flashlight forgotten. They didn’t need to write secret love letter anymore. Tim thinks as he lays Lucy down on the bed, they could say everything out loud and that’s exactly what he was going to do.

Tell her how happy he was that they took the risk. The jump.

How he loves her, and he’s going to do that hopefully for the rest of their lives. And he’s perfectly content with that.