#TRYING TO JOKE AROUND BECAUSE EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS SCENE MADE ME WANT TO CLIMB THE WALLS OF MY APARTMENT LIKE A RABID GECKO

[stormyoceans]

[heyhilana]

Phone Sex (Dieter Bravo)

Summary: Dieter is stuck in the bubble but a little late-night phone call with you calms him and his needs down.

A/N: Hi lovelies! I came up with this idea after watching Pedro's scenes because although that movie was a dumpster fire, we power through to watch him <3 So v smut filled because I think Dieter is needy and this was perfect for me to write. Enjoy <3

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x !f Reader

Warnings: 18+, video chat, a touch of soft and loving Dieter towards the end. Also, lots of praise because Dieter strikes me as the type to praise his girl no matter what she's doing. We love a passionate man <3

Word Count: 2.3k (Ah I was finally able to write a little bit less)

Next | Masterlist

Dieter crashed into his hotel, the plush bed making him sigh in relief as the shooting took all day. Working on Cliff Beasts was interesting for him, but with the particularly long scenes that they worked on today made the man very exhausted. But, he perked up when he heard the ringtone he picked out for you blaring from his phone. He put the phone to his ear and let a smile etch across his face as you always calmed him down with your voice.

“Hi baby. How was shooting today?” You were just climbing into bed at 1 am due to some work that you had. The time zone difference was hard on you both but you two managed to call when you could. But you had missed Dieter’s warm body next to yours after working all day, to feel his strong arms wrap around your waist while you cuddled close to each other. You missed his sweet little nothings he would whisper in your ear when you were drifting into sleep, the way he would tell you how lucky he was to have you in his life. You needed that so to call him right before you both went to sleep was needed.

“It was good overall. I just need more rest since the long shoots are taking so much out of me. The old age they say,” He chuckles at his little joke.

“Mhm you’re not old. Distinguished I would say.” You say with a smile, and he found the flattery to be adorable.

“Distinguished? Way to make me feel five years younger.” You both laugh and for a second, he forgets the distance the two of you have.

“I miss you,” You play with the thread on your shirt, more like the shirt you stole from his closet since it smelled like him. All his shirts were a little worn out but they were the closest thing you had to him, and you loved the way they draped on you like a little kid trying on clothes that were five sizes too big for them. Dieter loved how you put them on when he was feeling a little low, and the way he pulled you into his lap to kiss you as a thank you made it worth it.

“I miss you more, mi amor. Two more weeks and I’ll be done. First flight home to you and I get to kiss you all over.” You felt your heart flutter at the idea of meeting him at the airport, seeing him and running to him to make up for the lost time. Feeling him hold you close and whispering to you how much he loved you. But you couldn’t help but let your mind wander to what the two of you would do when you returned home. The way he would put his things to the side and kiss you hungrily, feeling those strong hands gripping your hips to touch what was his. To feel him worshipping your body like he always did, taking your beauty in with his lust-filled eyes because you were a work of art to him. You missed everything about him but that, in particular, was what kept you up late at night, trying to relieve the ache between your legs with memories of your times together as nothing else would help you finish.

“Kiss me all over you say? I can’t wait for that, and more,” You trail off, letting a hand drift down to where you wanted him most.

“More,” His tone slightly shifted as he said it, and a smirk was lightly planted on his face. “Hm, I think you’re needing something else from me, aren’t you?” He was palming himself in his sweatpants, feeling himself grow at the thought of you.

“I need a lot more from you. I-I really need you to be here, please,” You were already stuttering when your finger gently rubbed your clit, the slight sensation making you reminisce on his skilled tongue that never failed to make you cum.

“Based on that stutter you’re touching yourself without my permission.” You couldn’t help but smile at your little disobedience.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. What are you gonna do about it?”

“Oh, what am I gonna do about it? Sweet girl, when I’m there all I’m going to do is make you remember who should be in that bed with you. Make you forget all about the time we haven’t been together and the only thought that comes across your mind is if you can cum for me one more time.” Your breath hitched and you rubbed your clit a little faster.

“You want to touch yourself more, don’t you?”

“I really want to. Fuck, I need to.”

“Then ask me.” He pulled his half hard cock out of his sweats and boxers, seeing that the precum was leaking just a bit from the teasing.

“Please, can I touch myself?” You pleaded, and he felt something go through him hearing you beg slightly.

“Push two fingers inside baby. Slowly,” His lust-filled voice made you feel butterflies in your stomach, knowing that he was just as needy as you were, perhaps more so. And so you did, pushing them in slowly, hitching your breath as you needed to feel more and rather, feel him pushing inside you.

“That’s my good girl,” Those little words sent you into a frenzy as you tightened up around them just like you would if he was inside you. He slowly went up and down from tip to base, wishing he could feel you bouncing up and down on him and tightening up when the pleasure was driving you insane. To feel your hands splayed out on his body, steadying yourself so you could bounce up and down and have every inch pushed all the way inside. He loved how pretty you looked, some hair falling down and the faces you would make as he hit more parts in you that made your mind go blank. Just the thought of that alone made him get closer to cumming, but he slowed his pace to make sure you came first.

“Go a little faster for me love. You know you want to,” His guidance, taking control of this was everything to you. You pushed in faster, your breaths getting shallow the more you curled your fingers.

“Put the phone down there. Let me hear how wet you are.” You put the phone down there just enough to where he could hear it, and Dieter began to stroke to the sight of you fingering yourself.

His breaths were becoming more erratic, his chest heaving a bit more as he was losing control. Your moans, you holding the phone down so he could hear how impossibly wet you were, wishing he could have you in every way possible, it was all too much for him.

“God you have no idea how much I need to fuck you right now.” He was straining since he was more than willing to escape the bubble and take the first flight home to you but he also loved to hear you. To hear the strained moans come out of you like music, the way you were more than willing to put on a show for him because you two needed each other after being apart for so long.

“Yeah? I think after how long we’ve been apart you would be surprised at how I feel.” If there was one thing about Dieter, is that he had a reason to be as bold as he was because he could back it up in more ways than you could explain. He knew everything that made you yearn for him, how to pleasure you by winding you up and having you fall apart at his mere touch. Just the thought alone was making you want to release the knot that was building in the pit of your stomach. To softly repeat his name as you came undone before him.

“You need to cum, don’t you? I bet you’re shaking, your fingers soaked for me, so needy for me. It’s all becoming too much, isn’t it?” You could only whine, your words failing to come out.

“Mhm, that’s not good enough sweetheart. Use your words like I know you can,” He was desperate to hear you try to speak with all that pleasure rushing through you.

“I do want to cum. Pretty please?” You were close to begging more but the slight chuckle that he elicited let you know that he was not letting you go that easily.

“Soon, my love. But tell me what else you want. Use your words and tell me where you wish I was right now.” He was throbbing now, hearing you moan and whimper constantly was making him want to cum thick ropes that would get everywhere.

“I just want you here, please. I wish you were fucking me nice and slow, teasing me and rubbing my clit to build up the tension. Fuck, I wish you were watching me.” The last part slipped out before you could catch yourself. His eyes widened at the thought but he missed seeing you.

“Then turn your camera on baby. Let me see how much you need me right now.” You pulled the phone back up to your face and turned it on, your smile widening as you saw Dieter laying on the bed.

He looked at you, hair a little messy, shirt ridden up so you could touch yourself. It took him back to the night when he left, looking at you in that same way full of lust and a need to mark you as his. He was leaving love marks all over your body, making sure that everyone would see them. He was whispering sweet nothings in your ear, telling you how beautiful you looked, how he would miss touching you. He remembered holding you close when he came inside you, letting you wrap your legs around him. He was thinking about the way you scratched his back, the pleasure washing all over you. That night held him over for a little bit until now, where he wanted to see the pretty face you would make when you came for him.

"You know what would be better right now?"

"Me going down on you?" His bluntness made you laugh but you shook your head.

"As much as I miss that, I think me using a new toy would be more fun." His eyes widened at you mentioning a toy.

"A new toy? Someone's been busy while I've been gone," He smirked at you.

"I bought it yesterday since I wanted to try it when you got back. But I want to use it now with you since you can guide me."

"Be my guest." He watched you get up to grab it, seeing that you were pretty happy about him saying yes. When you got back on the bed you moved the phone and the toy down, now lubed up for you, and slowly moved it and down your slit.

"Such a tease baby," He was eyeing you intently, not wanting to miss a second of this.

You slowly pushed your toy in, making you and him gasp a bit. You teased yourself, pushing it in and out slowly and wishing that it was him. “God I love it when you use your toys.” He was stroking himself to the same pace you were going, edging yourself more than he thought he could.

“It’s so fun to use them with you.” You were barely getting the words out before you started to go faster, you getting right to the point where you could hit your spot the way he did. You brought the phone a little lower, making sure he could see what you were doing.

“That’s my pretty girl, fuck.” He almost came at the way you were fucking yourself, reminiscent of your time together. He was getting lost in the way you were writhing in pleasure as you hooked onto your spot with the toy, the cry you let out. He quickened his pace when he saw you upped yours.

“I know baby. I know it feels good but fuck I need you, right now,” You were looking at him, seeing how he was clearly edging based on the way every stroke was making him buck his hips up.

“Mhm, someone’s a little needy. How long have you been edging?” He bit his lip a little trying to hold it.

“Since last night. I figured saving it for you would be a nice surprise.”

“It is. But please, I need you to cum with me. Please baby I need it,” He was stroking from base to tip, making it harder for him to hold back.

“Cum for me, fuck cum for me.” Just as he said that he couldn’t help it and he came with so much force and almost saw stars. He knew that watching him cum for you would push you over the edge. You felt yourself tightening around your toy, thinking about how you did that when he made you cum. Bucking your hips, you let it wash all over you. That blinding pleasure as you thought of how he would look at you in awe over how you came for him.

“Fuck. That…was the best I’ve had in weeks.” You pulled the phone back up to your face and smiled to yourself knowing that you made him relax since he was on edge for most of your phone calls.

“I’m sure they’ll be more, but get your rest baby. I’ll call you in the morning.” He smiled at you lazily, the tiredness coming over him quickly. He knew that you were under the impression that it would be another 2 weeks until he came home, but with the film wrapping up a little bit earlier than expected, he was making his way home to you in two days’ time to finish what you had started.

“Still so beautiful. I’m lucky to have you in my life,” The softer side of him was coming out, the side that made your heart melt in more ways than one. Your best friend and lover rolled into one.

“Okay, lover boy.” You joked and he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah I am, but I’m your lover boy.” He winked at you and it was your turn to roll your eyes.

“That you are. Goodnight, I love you.” You blew him a kiss.

“I love you more. Goodnight gorgeous.” He blew one back before you ended the call. You put your head back on the pillow, ignoring the mess you had to clean up for a little while longer.

[ssadumba55]

Love Finds A Way (Ian Malcolm X Reader)

Request: Hello!! I love your Ian malcolm x reader so far and I was just wondering if you could do another one (either set in the first or second movie) where ian and the reader get separated and it freaks Ian out until they find each other again and ian decides to confess his feelings maybe? Thanks!

A/N: Let's go! I've never written anything set in the first movie but that movie moves a lot faster so forgive me cutting through to get to the good bits. I spared you every dinosaur chase scene, you're welcome. Enjoy!

This trip was a mistake, you realized that now covered in mud and sitting in a tree.

Come along, Ian had suggested, it’ll be fun. It wasn’t fun now, you’d be sure to remind him of that… if you ever saw him again. Even though you had wanted to stay behind with Ian, Alan had convinced you to join him and the kids.

Now, the other three were getting some shuteye. How they could sleep with all of this around them, you would never know. You watched the Brachiosaurs eat from the safety of your vantage point. All the joy and wonder you had felt earlier on the tour was now gone, replaced with a feeling of dread deep in the pit of your stomach.

There was no way you were getting out of this alive, even with the help of the amazing Dr. Alan Grant. You had never been a fearless fighter or particularly intelligent.

“You’re still awake?” Dr. Grant asked softly. You had thought he was asleep but it appeared he’d just been resting eyes. He didn’t even look like the man you’d met earlier that day, each of his arms wrapped around one of the children he had despised.

You shrugged your shoulders. “I’m worried about Dr. Malcolm, that’s all.”

It was a fair worry, he was your friend and mentor. The two of you had spent a lot of time together both in the workplace and out. You liked to think there was an inseparable bond between the two of you, something that rarely anyone else had. No matter how many wives or girlfriends he went through, what was between you both would never change.

“He’s fine. As long as he stays still, even if the T. Rex circles back, he’ll live.”

Realistically, you knew he was right but still. Nobody but the four of you knew where he was and you had no idea how to get to the others. Worst vacation ever, Ian owed you one if the two of you got off this stinking island alive.

Meanwhile, Dr. Ian Malcolm was in a panic himself. His leg was in pain, but it was dull compared to his worry for you. Now that he wasn’t being chased by a giant meat eating dinosaur, he could think properly and he had noticed your absence.

There were two options; you were laying out there dead somewhere (which he hated to think about, that couldn’t be the one) or you were wherever Dr. Grant and Hammond’s grandchildren were.

“We should be out there looking for them,” he tried to shift but his leg was in worse shape than he thought. Ellie hurried forward, scolding him for moving and putting himself in pain. She was obviously worried for Alan as well, they had issues, the two of them.

Was being in love with a workplace friend a common occurrence because it seemed like they were in the exact same department and- Oh god, if you and Alan died they would never get to tell them. More importantly he would never get to tell you.

At some point, Gennaro and Ellie leave to go look for Arnold, leaving him and Hammond to guide them to where they needed to go. He tried to keep his head in the game as much as possible, his survival and the others depended on it but he was too worried about you.

This had to be some sick twisted joke the universe had decided to play on him, he didn’t tell the one he loved he loved them when he had the chance, he fooled around with so many people... and this was his sick and twisted comeuppance.

He supposed if that was what was going on he deserved it, but damn it if he didn’t wish his leg was better so he could be out there looking for you.

How many adults did it take to hold a door shut against one Velociraptor? Apparently, three. You, Alan and Ellie leaned against the door, trying your best to keep it shut while Lex and Tim figured out the computer system.

“This is where we die,” you muttered under your breath as Ellie tried desperately to reach for the shotgun that was just out of her grasp.

“You did it!” Tim shouted and just like that the locks were on the doors.

The relief was short lived, but such is life when you’re on a dinosaur infested island. The five of you escaped through the vents, making your way back to the main entrance of the visitors building. It was a race against time (and Velociraptors), but in the end, you all made it safely back to the ground and the T. Rex took care of the raptors.

“Come on,” Alan ushered the kids, you and Ellie out the front door. You felt like you were going to pass out just from the adrenaline. Hammond and Ian were waiting outside in the jeep but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything to either of them as you climbed in. Alan said something but you leaned back in the jeep seat, releasing a breath you didn’t even know you’d been holding.

You weren’t home safe yet but it sure felt like it.

After that, everything was a blur. The helicopter ride home was silent, everyone contemplating everything they had just witnessed on the island. For once, even the great Ian Malcolm had nothing to say.

You leaned against him and he let you, clearly just as happy as you were to be in the same vicinity once again.

Upon landing in Costa Rica, the group went their separate ways. Hammond went off with his grandchildren, Ellie needed medical care and Alan went with her, Ian needed his own care so you went with him. You wondered if you’d ever get to see those people again. It was a strange thing to bond over, but you felt like you were all that much closer now that you’d been through this together.

Ian was out for a while so you pulled up a chair and slept beside the hospital bed.

“(Y/n)?” You awoke to someone saying your name, visions of giant lizard monsters danced in your vision for a few moments longer as you blinked awake.

You would surely be having nightmares of that for a long time.

Ian was awake, he had shifted himself into a sitting position, his hand on yours. You met his eyes, there was a lot that needed to be said. You wanted to tell him everything that had happened, with Alan and the kids and the raptors and-

You hugged him instead, it was strange, even though the two of you were fairly close, neither of you had ever been huge fans of physical contact.

He hugged you back though.

“That was the worst vacation ever…” You whispered, pulling away slightly to look into his eyes.

He chuckled. “Next time you can pick, no more dinosaur islands. I promise.”

You suddenly became aware of the very little space between the two of you. This was the closest the two of you had ever been in a non joking manner. It felt like being separated from each other on a dinosaur infested island had changed something in your dynamic, though you weren’t sure what it was. The smile on his face faded slightly and he reached up, closing the distance between the two of you, hand gently pressed to your cheek.

That’s what it was. The dynamic between you two had DEFINITELY changed.

“I’ve, uh, always wanted to do that.” He sounded slightly guilty, pulling away.

There were butterflies in your stomach and somehow the world seemed to be spinning. You laughed nervously, something about experiencing this so soon after a near death experience was hilarious to you.

"Funnily enough, me too," you admit, pressing your forehead to his. It's really too soon to know what this really means or if this is all just a crazy reaction to being separated and not able to see each other but you don't even care.

You could put a label on it later, he would agree. For now the two of you had each other and you were never letting go. And if Ian asked you to sleep with him later that night and if the two of you awoke each other from nightmares screaming only to comfort each other, nobody else needed to know.

You'd always had a special bond. This just made it stronger.

[deanstead]

Somebody’s Watching

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Request by danipearl16: Request- Jay has a girlfriend that nobody knows about and then they get a case where she’s being stalked and her stalker is killings women that seem to remind him of her and it turns out to be her ex-boyfriend from high school and Jay starts going downhill a little bit because he’s worried about her. Also his girlfriend is more on the younger than his side by 7 years

Word Count: 4,365

Warnings: cursing, mention of sexual assault/misconduct (non-graphic), mention of non-con touching, stalking, minor OC death, mention of injury, angst, fluff

A/N: Please beware of the triggers before you continue reading! I changed some parts to fit into the storyline but I still hope you like what I did with it! I’m pretty excited about this fic so I really really hope yall will like it! It’s my first time writing such a detailed case in so I hope it turned out well? Please hit me up and let me know what you think! Love yall!

---

You looked up from where you were sprawled on the couch, fiddling with your phone. Jay was sitting at the table, a small frown across his face as he pored over case notes.

Jay usually didn’t bring his work home with him but they’d just closed a big case and he had spent a whole week in the district. So instead of spending more time there to finish the paperwork, Jay had opted to bring it home instead.

You smiled to yourself just as Jay looked up. “Sorry babe.” He said, making a little face at the papers strewn across the table.

Chuckling, you climbed off the couch and moved towards him. You stood behind him, looping your arms around his shoulders, resting your chin on his shoulder. “I missed you.” You whispered.

Jay turned slightly, tugging you so that you now landed in his lap.

“Missed you too.” He whispered, smiling as one of his arms snaked around your waist, holding you securely to him, another hand reaching up to cup your cheek. “Sorry I’ve been busy.”

You shook your head, smiling.

You’d been dating for a while but no one else knew. Both of you had agreed to keep it on the down low, partly because of your age difference. Even though you had agreed you’d keep it quiet at least for the first few months, it had been a lot more than that and it had been going so well that you didn’t really want to purposefully invite anyone into this world that Jay and you had created for yourselves. Rather than keeping it a secret, you guys just hadn’t made the effort to tell anyone or publicize it to the world. This also meant that when he was stuck at the district, you didn’t get to see him but on such days, Jay was always mindful about checking in.

“What’s on your mind?” Jay asked.

“Just thinking I’m lucky to have you.” You responded, leaning in to try to give him a hug. Instead, Jay stroked your cheek and pressed his lips to yours. “Now, I really need to finish this.”

You laughed. “Go forth.”

---

Jay had taken a few well-deserved days of furlough, which he had mostly spent curled up with you. You didn’t have any complaints, it had been just what you both needed.

But Intelligence couldn’t catch a break. It was Jay’s first day back and now, he was already walking up to a crime scene.

Jay pushed the yellow crime scene tape upwards, letting Hailey walk through ahead of him before following behind her.

“What do we have?” Jay asked, approaching the spot where Adam and Kim were standing.

Kim turned. “Kate Whitewood, 22, stabbed multiple times.”

“She’s not in the system. No priors, nothing.” Adam added.

“No belongings on her?” Voight asked, looking around.

Adam shook his head. Jay frowned. “There’s barely any blood here.”

Kevin nodded, jogging forward to join them. “This is probably just the dump site. She must have been killed elsewhere.”

Hailey stood from where she had bent to examine the body. “She has defensive wounds on her. Maybe we’ll get lucky and find skin under her fingernails.”

Jay bent forward slightly. “What are those? Marks around her neck? We need to get her to the ME to get the exact cause of death.”

“Kim, bag her hands and get forensics to run a deluxe.” Voight said, as Kim nodded.

“My CI works this street, let me see what I can find out.” Jay said, turning away.

---

“So Kate was last seen at this bar right in town.” Hailey said, walking in and sticking a screenshot onto the board, which showed a camera view of the street outside the bar.

Kate could be seen on the image, her head turned slightly as she waved to someone, a man standing by her side. Hailey tapped the image.

“We can’t find this guy. His face is always turned away from the camera, facial recognition is out.”

Voight nodded. “Jay, have you heard from your CI?”

Jay nodded, resting slightly against Hailey’s desk, his arms crossed in front of him. “My guy says there haven’t been any deals going down. I think we can rule out drugs or gangs. Streets have been quiet ever since that big bust we did last month.”

“It was 28 degrees out last night, ME couldn’t find the exact time of death. But there were signs she was raped, signs of asphyxiation and five penetration wounds from a knife.” Kevin said, opening the file he had gotten from the medical examiner earlier.

Voight turned to Kim. “Who was she?”

Kim sighed. “Kate was a hard worker, she had just started her job as a receptionist at a dentist’s office in South Loop. Dad’s MIA, Mum’s remarried and relocated to New York so she’s living on her own.”

“Have we found who she was with last night?”

Adam nodded. “I’ve gone through her phone. Looks like she was meeting her friend Grace at the club last night.”

“We need to talk to her. I want to know about the last day of Kate’s life. Timeline. Check all sex offenders in the area. Comb her social media. Let’s go.” Voight instructed.

---

Jay knocked on the main door, glancing sideways at Hailey. The door swung open.

“Grace Archer? I’m Detective Upton, this is Detective Halstead, can we come in?” Hailey asked.

She furrowed her brows. “What’s this about?”

“You’re friends with Kate Whitewood?” Hailey asked, without directly answering her question. She nodded and without missing a beat, Hailey continued, “We need to ask you a few questions about last night.”

Grace stepped back to let them in, her face falling as she led them to the sitting room.

“I heard from her parents. The whole thing’s horrible.” Grace whispered, wrapping her hands around herself.

“Can you tell us what you remember?” Jay asked.

Grace looked up. “Kate’s boyfriend had broken up with her a few months ago, so I took her out. She needed to get out again.”

“Were you approached by anyone?” Hailey asked.

“Several.” She answered.

“Anyone that stood out?”

Grace paused, trying to recall. “Kate didn’t even really want to go. She barely looked at the guys… except…”

Hailey sat up a little. “There must have been something about this guy that she left with, something unique. We have a photo of him on the surveillance tape. Flashy?”

Grace nodded, “Yeah, he had this like... attitude… like he was hitting on us but he was making a joke of it at the same time.” She paused. “The last thing she told me was that she had a great time… I shouldn’t have forced her to come out.”

“This isn’t your fault.” Hailey leaned over and patted Grace comfortingly on the arm. “Thanks for talking to us. Please call us if you think of anything else.”

As Jay walked out of Grace’s house with Hailey, he looked at his partner. “This guy’s confident, he’s smooth and it doesn’t look like he knew Kate or Grace.”

---

For the rest of the day, the team had almost combed through the whole of Kate’s whereabouts before she had disappeared and all they had was a big fat nothing.

Jay typed a quick text to you to let you know that he wasn’t going to be able to come over tonight.

You read the text, smiling a little. Jay was busy but it was cute that he always kept you informed. You stopped walking, typing back a reply to tell him it was okay and to do what he had to do, before you kept her phone back into your pocket.

You walked along the street, the same street you walked on every night, frowning a little. You turned around, scanning the street behind you.

You could swear that it was like someone was watching you, or following you. But the street was empty. This wasn’t the first time you had had this feeling - like the little hairs on the back of your neck were standing but you had nothing to back up this feeling you had.

Holding your bag tighter against you, you pushed yourself forward, quickening your footsteps, only letting up as you passed the safety of your apartment building’s front door.

As you passed the threshold of your apartment and closed the door behind you, you pulled out your phone, staring at it for a while. Part of you wanted to call Jay, to hear his voice and have him tell you that you were just tired, imagining things. But the rational part of your brain convinced yourself that everything was okay, reminding you that Jay was so busy and deep in a case, he really shouldn’t have to worry about you.

Ultimately, you put your phone on the counter, chuckling at yourself. Maybe you really were too tired.

---

By the next morning, another body had turned up, not two streets away from the first dump site.

Jay felt an uneasy feeling spread in the pit of his stomach as he stared at the photo of the new victim that was already up on the board. They had a serial killer in Chicago and this guy’s victim type had physical characteristics that were scarily similar to you.

“Jay.” Hailey broke Jay out of his thoughts. “Emma Green, 23, strangulation marks, six stab wounds.”

Jay turned to his partner and nodded. “Did they go to the same club?”

Hailey handed Jay a file. “No, but look at what we picked up on the surveillance camera.” Jay opened the file, studying the photo.

“This is our guy isn’t it?” He pointed at a male figure who was standing next to their second victim, his face still hidden from the camera, wearing a plain cap.

“Hey guys, I might have found a link.” Kim said, walking in. “I checked the employee records and there’s a bartender that works in both clubs and he was on shift on each day our victims went missing. He’s got a prior for aggravated assault and harassment.”

“We’ll take it.” Jay said, grabbing his jacket and heading out of the district.

Hailey fell into step next to him, glancing at him. “Jay, you okay?”

Jay nodded. “Let’s just get this son of a bitch.”

They travelled the rest of the way in silence. Hailey seemed to pick up that this case was affecting Jay differently but she didn’t press further, allowing Jay to lead the way into the closed club.

“Ben Carlton?”

The bartender looked up from where he was, his eyes falling onto the police badge that was hung around Jay’s neck.

In a sudden motion, he ducked out and ran.

“Hey, stop!” Jay yelled, as both he and Hailey launched themselves after him, Hailey shooting out the front door to try to head him off.

“5021 George, I have a suspect fleeing on foot.” Jay called into his radio, sprinting after the bartender.

The bartender barely made it onto the next street before Hailey flung herself at him around the corner, rolling onto the ground as Jay pulled out his gun. “Don’t move!” He yelled, as Hailey pulled the bartender to his feet.

“Let’s go.” Jay snarled.

---

“It wasn’t me!” Ben yelled as he sat in the interrogation room, facing Jay and Hailey.

Jay sighed internally, watching Ben’s reactions and the way he was answering the questions Hailey was shooting at him.

“Those were mistakes, I didn’t do this!” He yelled again.

Jay pushed himself upright, getting up from where he was leaning against the wall and pushing the photos of the victims onto the table. “This. Look at this. We can place these girls at the bars you worked at just before they died.”

“Look.” Ben said, looking up at Jay. “I saw them but they left before I even finished my shift.”

Jay glanced at Hailey. “Who did they leave with?” Hailey asked.

Ben looked from Hailey to Jay. “Look, I don’t know the guy, he’s not a regular. But he’s white, about their age. I noticed him because he headed for them the moment that he walked in. Like he knew they were there.”

Before Jay or Hailey moved, a knock came from the door.

“You guys gotta see this.” Adam said, sticking his head in.

“Sit tight.” Jay said to Ben, following Adam outside, where Kevin was waiting as well.

Kevin handed the file to Jay. “We got another one.” Jay flipped open the file, which told him what he already feared. Another victim, of a physical type that not only matched the first two victims but also you.

Jay looked up. “His cooling off period is getting shorter. We need to get this son of a bitch.”

---

The feeling was getting a little stronger that someone had been watching you.

You glanced over your shoulder but as usual the street was empty. Maybe you needed to stop staying late.

You turned back towards the front. There were sounds of footsteps but you swallowed the lump in your throat, quickening your pace as discreetly as you could.

It definitely felt like someone was following you now. You were almost running by the time you rounded the corner, colliding with someone.

You gave a yelp of surprise.

“Y/N!”

You had collided with Jay.

You let out a breath, spinning around to look over your shoulder.

“What’s going on? You okay?” Jay’s eyes snapped from you to the empty street behind you.

You turned back to look at Jay. Now that he was standing in front of you, it didn’t seem that scary anymore - maybe you had imagined the whole thing.

You shook your head, taking one last glance behind you. “What are you doing here? You finished the case?”

Jay smiled but the smile didn’t really reach his eyes. “Just wanted to check in on you. I have to go back soon.”

You reached for his hand without saying anything and that’s how the both of you walked back to your apartment, your hand clenched securely in his, almost like the both of you had a tight bubble around you.

You could tell Jay’s mind was far away, and it was even more unlike him to come see you in the middle of a case. You knew there was something troubling him but you weren’t one to press. Jay would tell you when he felt he could or he wanted to.

Instead, you just squeezed his hand.

Almost as if you were prying him from his thoughts, Jay looked at you and smiled. He pulled you closer to him, tucking you under his arm.

“You’re okay, right?” You asked, without looking up at him, just as he escorted you to your door.

Jay turned to look at you and nodded. “I will be, once this case is over.” He leaned forward to give you a kiss. “If anything happens, you call me, okay? No matter what.”

You raised an eyebrow but nodded at him, watching him disappear into the elevator before you retreated back into your apartment.

---

Intelligence had been tirelessly chasing down leads but they now had four bodies and Voight was getting pressure to solve this quickly as well. They needed a break in this case and fast.

“Okay, let’s regroup, what do we have so far?” Voight barked.

“All four victims were raped and found with multiple stab wounds. We know he picks up his victims from bars and appears non-threatening enough that his victims are willing to leave with him.” Jay said, getting up.

Hailey headed to the board, frowning. “We dumped their phones but we weren’t able to find any connection between the victims other than their physical type.” Hailey cast a look at Jay, which Voight didn’t miss. “I think he’s working his way up to something.”

“Hey guys?” Kim spoke up as she walked back in, flipping open the file sitting on her desk. “I went back over the first murder to see if we missed anything. Look at this.”

Kim pulled in her chair, zooming into the photo. “This badge here on his jacket, it’s barely visible so we missed it the first few times. I sent it to the lab to see if they could enhance the image and this is what I got.”

Kim clicked and up popped the crest of a high school. “Look, it’s not just a general badge. Look at the year.”

“Okay, that is the crest for Lincoln High. It’s a jacket given to those who graduated that year.” Kevin said, frowning at it.

“I’ll run the list of students who graduated in that year.” Jay barked, heading straight for his desk, his fingers flying across his keyboard.

Cross-checking was the worst job ever but the moment Jay’s eyes landed on your name on the list of graduates, he pulled it together, eliminating the women, men who had moved out of state or country, until finally he only had three names on the list.

“Okay, I have a Steven Miller, Charles Shoemaker and John Marlin.” Jay finally spoke up as everyone looked up. “But only Steven Miller has priors.”

“For harassment, sexual misconduct, and attempted assault. Sarge, this has to be our guy.” Jay looked up at Voight.

“Do we have an LKA?” Voight asked.

“Already on it.” Adam said.

“Go pick him up.” Adam nodded, motioning to Kevin as they headed out.

Something was bugging Jay. Steven Miller. That name was…

Fuck.

Jay pushed back his chair, entering Voight’s office without knocking and closing the door behind him.

“Sarge.”

Voight looked up, frowning a little at the look on Jay’s face. He put down his pen and leaned back in his chair, looking up at Jay.

“I’ve heard Miller’s name before. It was bugging me, but I remember now.”

Voight sat up straighter.

“I’m seeing his ex-girlfriend.” The words slipped past Jay’s lips. “Sarge, everything makes sense now. The physical type, the way he’s building up because his actual target…” Jay trailed off.

You had told Jay about Steven just once. You hadn’t gone into detail but you had told Jay about the short period that you had been together with Steven – his need for control over all aspects of your life, how he had always been a little rough, how he hadn’t taken any form of rejection well, and how you’d ended it the day he struck you.

“Take Hailey.”

Jay was already halfway to the door.

---

You had left early today.

It had been a while since you had done such an early shift but you’d been feeling more and more uneasy while walking home at night and the news coverage on the murders that were happening at the moment didn’t help.

You didn’t need Jay to tell you that you looked exactly like those girls who had been murdered. It was clear as day.

You fiddled with the key in the lock, opening the door.

You felt your heart drop into your stomach as you registered the person standing in front of you. In your house.

“Steven.” You muttered, your voice trembling, barely registering the butt of a gun heading towards your temple before it went dark.

---

Hailey hadn’t said anything but she knew something was off.

“Jay, what’s going on?” She asked. “How do you know this girl’s the target?”

Jay didn’t answer but pressed harder on the accelerator, gripping the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles were white. The ringing tone going off through his bluetooth speaker in the car making him feel even worse.

“Jay.” Hailey said again. “I’m your partner.”

Jay glanced at her now. “She’s my girlfriend.”

Hailey’s eyebrows shot up. “I didn’t even know you were seeing someone.”

Jay let a beat of silence passed. “Miller’s her ex. I should have seen the signs, the physical type, everything, I…”

“Jay. She’ll be fine. Come on.” Hailey reassured him, as he turned his truck onto the familiar street.

“She’s still not answering.” Jay said, through gritted teeth. He’d been trying to call you since he had left the station.

Without hesitation, Jay bounded up the stairs, Hailey right behind him. From down the corridor, Jay could already tell your door was slightly ajar.

“Hang back.” Jay whispered, pulling out his service weapon.

Jay quietly approached the door. “Y/N?” He opened the door with his foot, freezing as his eyes landed on you, sitting in a chair in the middle of the room, your eyes frantic as Steven held a knife to your throat from where he stood behind you.

Jay gritted his teeth, using his foot to slam the door shut, knowing that Hailey would know what to do.

“Step away from her.” Jay growled, pointing his gun directly at Steven.

Steven smiled. “I was wondering when you’d arrive. Put that down.”

Jay grinded his teeth but didn’t move. You felt the cold blade of the knife press against your skin and inhaled sharply.

“Put. It. Down.” Steven repeated.

“Okay, okay.” Jay said, glancing at you before putting his hands above his head, disarming his gun and putting it down onto the floor.

Steven smiled again, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

“Don’t you fucking touch her.” Jay growled.

“I don’t think you’re in a position to tell me what to do.” Steven answered.

“Jay, I’m sorry.” You whispered.

Jay looked straight at you. “It’s going to be okay. You focus on me, you hear me? I’m right here.”

“We broke up a long time ago, what the hell are you doing?” You asked. You were afraid, hell you were trembling, but this was crazy and you had to help Jay to find a way out of this.

“We wouldn’t be broken up if he hadn’t come between us.” Steven snarled, moving closer towards you, his lips almost touching your ear.

Jay growled. “Leave her alone.”

Steven looked back up at Jay again.

“What, you mean don’t do this?” Steven asked, crushing his lips against yours.

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” Jay yelled. “Is that what you did? How you forced yourself on all the other girls? What do you want, Steven? What are you trying to accomplish?”

“All I wanted was to be with Y/N! But you took her.” He spat.

“So you decided to go on a rampage?” Jay asked. You saw him twitch like he was looking for something so you started talking, as much as it made you want to gag.

“Steven, why didn’t you just talk to me?” You asked, trying to distract him.

“Talk? All you care about is him!” He yelled, lifting the knife and pointing it at Jay.

It happened in a split second.

The moment he lifted the knife, Jay yelled, “Now, Y/N!”

You threw yourself forward, covering your head with your hands as you heard the gunshots go off, just two. You weren’t sure who was shooting but you didn’t move until you heard Jay’s voice again.

“Y/N, it’s okay, it’s over.” Jay whispered.

You looked up, Jay’s face hovering above you.

“Jay…”

Jay nodded, “It’s okay, come here.”

Jay pulled his arms around you.

“He…” Jay shook his head, shielding your view of Steven’s now motionless body. “Don’t look back, come on.”

Jay tried to lead you out of the apartment, barely making it to the main door before his teammates appeared. “Jay!” Kevin called, as he spotted both of you.

Jay nodded. “Thanks.” Kevin nodded, his eyes lingering on the way Jay was holding you close to his side before making way for Jay to lead you back down to the ground floor where the ambulances were waiting.

Jay led you all the way to the waiting paramedics, not even leaving your side to get himself checked.

You weren’t hurt, not really. There was a little open cut from where Steven had pressed the blade a little too hard when he had been agitated but other than that you were fine. Well, that, and that disgusting feeling that came with remembering how Steven had pressed his lips against yours.

Voight approached you and Jay. Jay squeezed your hand. “I’ll be right back.” You smiled and nodded.

Jay and Voight talked in low voices until Voight turned to look at you. “And she’s okay?”

Jay nodded. “Yeah, she is. I just need to…”

“Do what you need to do. We’ll finish up here.” Voight said, nodding and clapping Jay on the back.

---

The paramedics had dressed the wound on the scene before Jay had brought you back to his apartment.

After getting you into a clean change of clothes and some warm food in you, you had ended up back in your favourite place in the world – on Jay’s couch, in Jay’s apartment, encircled in Jay’s arms.

You lay your head on Jay’s chest.

“So this was all because of me?” You asked in a low voice.

Jay sat up, looking at you. “What?”

“He killed all those women… because of me. I got them killed.” You whispered.

“No, no, baby.” Jay propped himself up, but didn’t let you go. “This is not your fault. Steven he… he did this, not you.”

You looked up at him. “He even… in front of you… he…” You could feel tears welling up in your eyes, you felt disgusting. He’d kissed you, he’d done it in front of Jay and he’d ruined everything.

You hadn’t said that much but Jay just tilted your chin upwards and kissed you. “Jay…”

“I’ll take it all away.” Jay whispered. “I’m sorry, I should have been there sooner.”

You shook your head, swiping away the tears that had slid down your cheeks.

Jay cupped your cheek again, pulling you into his chest. You balled your hand around his shirt, gripping at Jay.

“It’s okay, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Jay whispered.

“I’ll never let anyone touch you ever again.” He half snarled, still caressing you gently.

You leaned into his embrace, closing your eyes as the sound of Jay’s heartbeat gently lulled you back into the feeling of safety and security.

[ijustreallylovethem]

secrets

part two

the highly anticipated and requested part two to secrets. i hope it lives up to your expectations because i had no clue where i was going with any of this. let me know what you think.

words: 4,772

masterlist

“you sure you want to be here right now?” you nodded.

“i’m just coming to talk to rafe,” you said quietly. “come in with me.”

“oh, i don’t know if he-“

“he wants to apologize to you guys. he told me the other day but i forgot to pass it on. maybe he’ll be happy that i brought you.” you opened the door of the truck and slid out until your feet touched the ground. jj met you in front of the truck, reaching forward and grabbing your hand to offer you some support as you both walked up to the door together. you rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer it, praying to anyone that listened that it wasn’t ward. luckily, it was wheezie.

“hey, i’m here to talk to rafe.”

“he’s in his room. you know where it’s at.” she let you in and you led jj up the stairs and down the hallway to the last door on the left. two knocks, wait, three more. the door flew open and rafe stood there with a wide smile on his face. it faltered when his eyes landed on jj.

“hey, what are you doing here? you usually sneak in.” you sighed and walked into the room, flipping down face first on the bed.

“i got mad and i think i fucked up.” rafe looked to over to jj, who had entered the room as well and closed the door behind him, for some clarity. jj just shrugged so rafe turned back to you.

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“it means the whole island is gonna know about everything by tomorrow morning because i got pissed off and can’t keep my mouth shut.” your words were muffled by rafes comforter but he got the gist of what you were saying. he was silent for a second, standing in the middle of his room with his hands on his hips as he watched you, trying to comprehend what you had just told him.

“who did you tell?”

“the biggest bitch on this island.”

“y/n i think ward already knows.” you sat up and faced him, a pour on your face.

“rafe! now isn’t a time for jokes,” you whined and he chuckled as he made his way over to sit by you.

“so you told kiara?” you nodded and he sighed. “and you told me you’d never let her pry it out of you.”

“ok we’ll if you’re gonna be like this i’m gonna go home.” you started to stand but rafe grabbed your wrist and pulled you back down.

“ok, i’m sorry, jokes are over. look, you may think it’s your fault but let’s be honest here, this secret has been kept for seventeen years and i think it was only a matter of time. it’s been kept for so long that ward thinks he’s managed to keep it covered. imagine tomorrow morning when he’s the front page of the kildare newspaper and everyone on the island knows the truth.” it was silent for a moment as you took in his words.

“but what about me?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “people are gonna treat me differently.”

“then you don’t deserve to give those people the time of day.” you looked up at rafe to find him gazing down at you with what almost seemed like a look of protectiveness. you nodded.

“you’re right.”

“of course i’m right, when am i ever wrong?”

“what about that one time you thought it would be fun to get high and go for a hike and wander off the trail to pick flowers and they had to send a search party for you because you couldn’t find your way back?”

“ok, that’s- that’s a good point. but not our focus right now.” you smiled and he shook his head. you looked up at jj to find him watching the two of you with a bewildered expression.

“what’s that look for jj?” he motioned exasperatedly around with his arms before letting them drop down by his sides.

“i’ve just never seen him like this,” he finally admitted. rafe laughed and stood up, crossing the room until he was in front of jj.

“listen man, i know i’ve done a lot of shit to you and your boys in the past but i’m trying to start over. new morals, new leaf, new me. so i wanna apologize for all that shit i did. and i know you probably don’t forgive me or maybe you don’t believe me but i’m gonna end up proving it to you, i promise.” jj eyed him for a moment before speaking again.

“blaming john b for your shit doesn’t just slide with me dude.” rafe shook his head.

“i can truthfully tell you that was wards idea. i was too scared at the time to try and disobey his idea so i ran with it. i never would’ve done that to him on my own.” jj glared at him, trying to find a crack in what he assumed was his facade. when he didn’t find one he finally spoke.

“i’m holding your promise to you then, cameron.” he held out his hand and rafe shook it, signifying the silent agreement the two had come to.

“hey y/n, would you go get us some waters from the fridge? i’m sure you were yelling earlier and you probably need some so your throat isn’t sore.” you nodded.

“jj you want some too?”

“sure, yeah.” you nodded and left the room, rafe closing the door behind you.

“so, maybank, you got a thing for my sister?” he looked at rafe with wide eyes.

“sarah’s with john b, i would never-“ a pointed look from rafe was all it took to set his mind straight. “wait you mean y/n?”

“well i don’t mean wheezie.”

“oh, um, well i- uh-“

“calm down, it’s just a question. i don’t care whether you do or not. but if you do, just don’t break her heart ok? she’s already got enough on her plate and i’m willing to break my promise for her if she needs me to.” jj nodded.

“yeah, of course.” you walked back into the room with three bottles of water in your arms. rafe smiled as he took one and you handed one to jj. you screwed the lid off the last one and chugged nearly half of it down before pulling it away from your mouth.

“so, what were you two talking about?” neither of them spoke for a second until jj came up with an excuse.

“going to the beach. i was thinking about surfing a bit and you can too if you wanna surf your problems away like normal.” you nodded.

“sounds good to me. rafe, are you coming?” he looked at his bare wrist, acting as if a watch resided there.

“i have nowhere to be, might as well.”

“great, meet you there in twenty?” rafe nodded and you smiled at him as you pulled jj from the room. “so we need to go back to the chateau because i need a swimsuit, could you go in first and scope it out first?” you asked as you got back into the truck. jj laughed but nodded.

“you want me to just grab you one?”

“but then where would i change?”

“you can change in the back. the windows are tinted dark enough that no one will even know.” you thought for a second and then nodded, letting him know you were fine with the idea. the ride was mostly silent, just the low best of the radio sounding throughout the cab of the truck. jj parked in front of the chateau and quickly ran in, returning not even a full minute later with your favorite swimsuit in his hand. he threw it at you upon entering the truck and all but threw it into reverse to drive away.

“what’s wrong?”

“kie asked if you were still with me,” he explained as he put the truck in drive and started toward the beach. “i know you still don’t want to talk to her but she got up and looked like she was ready to come outside and talk to you. so i bolted.” you hummed as a way of telling him he did the right thing and he smiled softly as he drove. you unbuckled after a moment and climbed into the backseat.

“don’t crash and kill me maybank,” you told him as you pulled your shirt off. “and keep your eyes on the road.” he smirked and you turned around the best you could as you switched your bra for your swimsuit top. ridding yourself of your shorts was a bit more difficult but you eventually got them off and slid your bottoms up your legs. you climbed back into the passenger seat as jj put the truck in park.

“not many people here today,” he pointed out, glancing around the empty parking lot. there were two other cars, one being rafes truck which he was getting out of.

“good, i wanna relax.” you and jj both climbed out and met rafe. you led the two to a spot on the sand that you deemed good enough and rafe spread out a blanket he had brought. you spread yourself across it, arms and legs reaching out toward the four corners of the ugly plaid. rafe scoffed as he watched you and then rolled his eyes. he took both your left arm and leg and rolled you over onto your side, effectively pulling a whine from your lips and making room for himself. jj watched the scene with a certain sense of fondness. sure, he knew you and rafe spoke to each other but he never quite realized just how comfortable you were around the other until now.

“rafe! i was just getting comfy!” jj sat in the sand next to the blanket as you flipped back on on your stomach, your arm and leg the rafe had previously moved falling back into their spots and onto his body.

“you can’t lay like that, i’ll get weird tan lines!” rafe pushed you off of him again and you let out a huff. you quickly rolled over on your side again to face jj, making grabby hands at him.

“come sit on the blanket and let me cuddle,” you told him and he was quick to oblige. you let your head rest on his upper thigh as your finger traced the camo pattern on his shorts. your leg intertwined with his and he rested back on one hand, the other running through your unruly hair.

“simp.” you heard rafe ‘pretend’ to cover his word with a cough and promptly raised your hand to flip him off. you could only assume he rolled his eyes before speaking again, normally this time. “no surfing today?”

“boards are at the chateau,” you told him.

“you didn’t stop to get them?”

“kie is also there,” jj explained and rafe nodded in understanding.

“ah, i see. so you just plan to avoid her for the rest of you life?”

“or the rest of hers,” you answered which caused rafe to chuckle.

“there’s already one murderer in this family, let’s not create another.” you sighed, sitting up.

“yeah, whatever. i’m gonna go swim, anybody else?” you stood from the blanket and turned back toward the two boys. rafe shook his head but jj nodded and joined you in standing. “you sure?” you asked rafe and he nodded.

“yeah, i’ll hold the blanket down. go have fun.” you and jj ventured out into the water, stopping when it was just under your shoulders. it took one look at the devilish smile on his face for you to know you were about to be dunked under the water and you quickly held your breath. jj grabbed you behind the knees and back and dunked your head under the water a few times, finally letting you come up for air. you smacked his chest, bringing a hand up to wipe the saltwater from your face.

“you ass! if you’re going to drown me at least make sure there aren’t witnesses.” jj glanced up the beach to where rafe was watching the two of you and then glanced back down at you. he dunked you under the water once again with a laugh and you cursed at him when you broke the surface again. jj finally put you back on your feet and you sent a splash of water over his head. he nodded as he wiped the water from his eyes, just as you did only moments prior.

"alright, i deserved that." you smirked before swimming out just far enough to where you couldn't touch the sand anymore.

"i feel sorry for people who don't live near the ocean. i guess hey have other places they can go to get away from their problems though." jj nodded, swimming out to join you.

"once a touron told me that they were from missouri. they party in fields. fields!" you giggled which caused jj to laugh. you splashed him slightly and swam back to where your feet could touch the ground. you looked out to the horizon for a few moments and then turned to jj, who had swum behind you. you didn't realize how close he was and his hands came to your waist to steady you when you lost your balance. your hands rested around his neck and he picked you up, allowing your legs to wrap around his waist.

"did something happen when you guys were alone in rafe's room? is that why he didn't want to come out with us?" jj shook his head.

"no, of course not. i'm not sure why he wanted to stay on the beach." you nodded, a slight pout on your lips at the fact that your brother didn't come swimming with you.

"i'm gonna go sit with him, wanna come? or are you going to stay out here?"

"i'll come sit." jj let you stand on your own legs before you both waded in toward the sand. you burst into laughter as a small wave broke near your ankles and jj nearly fell backward into the water. luckily he was able to catch himself and he mocked your laugh as you walked toward rafe's spot. you were just about to greet him when a voice came shouting from your right.

"there you are! i searched this whole beach looking for you!" you didn't have to look to know it was kiara. you could see her getting closer to you from the corner of your eye and you watched as rafe stood from his spot on the blanket. he was quick to step to your side, putting himself between you and the brunette in question. when you finally did turn, you noticed pope and john b running to catch up with the girl.

"we tried to stop her!" pope yelled, sounding out of breath.

"she wouldn't listen," john b continued to explain. jj sighed from beside you.

"kie, i thought i made it clear earlier that i didn't want you following me."

"i didn't follow you. if i had, i would've known where you went and i wouldn't have searched the whole beach looking for you," she stated as if it were obvious. you rolled your eyes.

"what do you want?" you asked and she finally turned to face you.

“i would like to apologize.”

“well i would not like to listen.” you turned and walked the few steps over to the blanket and sat down, pretending as if kiara was no longe roust a few feet away.

“but-“

“she said she doesn’t want to listen.” rafe told her and she turned to glare at him. without taking her eyes off of him she spoke to you again.

“i don’t understand how you can blindly trust him, y/n. i know you know what he is. a murderer.” you could see rafe tense from the corner of your eye and you glanced to jj. he could tell by the look on your face that your blood was boiling but you were trying to keep your cool.

“kie i think it’s best if you leave,” jj spoke. the girl crossed her arms over her chest, holding her ground.

“all i wanted to do was apologize and-“

“and instead you stalked me and insulted my family. i suggest you listen to jj before i have to get back off this blanket,” you spoke with an even tone of voice but its level was deep. everyone around you knew you were serious.

“and what? threaten me? beat me up? you’re all talk. i haven’t once seen you actually stand behind your words.”

“you wanna know why? because jj and john b always beat me to it. but guess what? not this time.” you were quick to stand from the blanket and lunge toward her, her eyes widening as she realized what was happening. but before you reached her, rafe had lifted you from the ground and thrown you over his shoulder. he started walking back toward the parking lot as you smacked your fists against his back, yelling at him to let you go. a look at the spot you were just at showed jj shaking the beach blanket of sand as pope and john b pulled kiara the other direction down the beach, back the way they had come. when jj started to follow rafe, you quit fighting and instead let your body hang from his.

you were set on your own feet near the back of jj’s truck. rafe kept his hands on your shoulders, confirming for a few seconds that you weren’t going to try and make a break for it before finally taking a step away. jj threw the blanket on the tailgate as he stepped up with a huge smile on his face.

“alright mcgregor! my money totally would’ve been on you if we would’ve let that happen by the way. kie may have been in two or three fights but i know you would’ve had her.” you huffed and slumped against the truck, not in the mood for jj’s antics at the moment. jj sighed but then smiled slightly as an idea formed in his mind. “ok, get in the truck, i know the perfect thing to calm you down and cheer you up.” you did as he said, climbing into the passenger seat and slamming the door closed. rafe grabbed the blanket from the tailgate and looked to jj, who was still standing there.

“see you later, rafe.”

“hey bring your boys next time? i wanna apologize to them too.” jj nodded and rafe waved before turning around and heading to his truck on the other side of the lot.

once jj climbed in the drivers seat and started the truck, the drive was only a few minutes long. as soon as the truck was in park, you recognized where he had brought you and your face lit up. you glanced over at him to assure that you were right and he nodded. a smile on his face. you were immediately throwing open the door of the truck and bounding out of it, closing the door and taking off running up the path. you all but burst through the trees onto the flattened rocks that looked out over the ocean nearly ninety feet below.

“jj! come on, hurry up!” jj had taken his time walking up the path but only a few moments later you could see him. “i haven’t been here since before i left. i can’t believe i nearly forgot about it.” jj gasped and let a hand come up to his chest in fake offense.

“you nearly forgot about our special spot? how dare you?” you smiled and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

“does that make up for it?” he pretended to think for a moment.

“it’ll do.” you turned around and sat the closest to the edge you would ever go, jj sitting right next to you. it was silent for a while other than the distant sound of the waves and the bugs and small creatures in the woods around you both.

“it’s like i’m fourteen again,” you whispered, leaning your head against jj’s shoulder. he let his head rest against yours and your hand found his.

“hey y/n, there’s something i need to tell you,” jj said, sitting up about so he could look at you.

“oh no, not another secret,” you said jokingly, picking your head up to look at him as well. he smiled slightly but you could tell he was somewhat nervous.

“no, well yes but, this ones a good secret. i mean, i hope it is.”

“jj, just spit it out.” he took a deep breath and nodded.

“ok so basically, the two years you were gone were absolute shit and the whole time you were gone i would pretend you were still here and picture what you would be doing if you were here and sometimes i could even hear your stupid sarcastic remarks in my head after john b would say something and then the whole thing with the gold started and i really just wanted you to be with us you know? but at the same time it was so dangerous and i didn’t want anything to happen to you so i was glad you weren’t there when we were getting shot at-“

“wait you guys got shot at?”

“please just let me-“

“jj i don’t really understand what you’re trying to say.” you looked at him with furrowed brows and a slight pout on your lips.

“what i’m trying to say is that, i like you. like, way more than i should. and i know there’s that stupid no pogue on pogue macking rule but that was broken like four times while you were gone so you really don’t actually have to worry about that.” you could almost see jj mentally face palm after his little rant but it made you smile.

“jj.”

“i’m hoping that smile is a good sign?” you thought for a moment how to answer him and finally landed on the perfect answer.

“can i kiss you?”

“please.” your smile didn’t leave your face as you leaned in slowly, finally letting your lips meet his. it was soft and sweet, as if neither of you were quite sure of what you were doing, despite both of you having done this quite a few time before. you pulled away after a few moments, wanting to keep things short and simple. you opened your eyes to find that jj’s were still closed and smiled again.

“everything you hoped it would be?” he nodded quickly and you laughed, causing him to open his eyes.

“please let me kiss you again.”

“only if you agree to take me out to lunch later, i’m starting to get hungry.” he nodded once again and you smiled, ready to lean in again when he spoke.

“i want to take you out for lunch for the rest of my life.”

“are you asking me out?”

“please?” you laughed but nodded.

“yes, jj, i’ll go out with you.” he smiled and finally leaned back in to capture your lips with his own. it was only seconds later that a high pitch scream sounded throughout the area, causing you to break away from jj and look toward the source of the sound. pope and john b stood at the edge of the trees, john b’s hand over pope’s mouth.

“what the fuck guys?”

“i think i almost had a heart attack,” you mumbled.

“you almost had a heart attack? imagine me! thinking i wasn’t going to have to bleach my eyes after coming up here!” pope yelled and you rolled your eyes playfully.

“oh relax, it was just a kiss.”

“is that why you guys used to sneak up here all the time?” john b asked, finally making his way up onto the rocks and sitting down. jj shook his head.

“nah, we came up here to smoke. first time that’s happened.” his cheeks turned a rosy link as he spoke and he cleared his throat to try and get rid of the awkwardness he was feeling. you watched pope as he sat down and realized someone was missing.

“kiara’s not with you is she?” you asked and both boys shook their heads.

“had to work at the restaurant,” pope answered and you nodded slowly.

“so why are you guys here?” jj asked after a moment of silence.

“we figured you’d come here after what happened. just kind of wanted to talk i guess,” john b explained and you let out a sigh.

“sorry i didn’t tell you guys, i just wasn’t ready for everyone to know.” both boys nodded and pope spoke up.

“it’s ok, we get it. and we don’t blame you.”

“i don’t think i would’ve told anyone either.” you nodded, silently thanking them for being so understanding. “so sarah’s known this whole time?” you nodded. “that’s why neither of you really reacted to each other when you ‘met’,” john b used air quotes around his last word and you laughed.

“yeah, we actually agreed to try and stay away from each other when we were out on the boat or at the chateau so we didn’t start gossiping or something and tip anyone off by accident.” all three boys laughed at this and you smiled. it went silent again for a moment until pope spoke.

“and rafe? you’re still hanging out with him?” you could see pope glance to jj, almost as if he was asking both you the question.

“he came to talk to me the other day and i asked for his side of the story. he admits to what he did and he really sounds like he regrets it. even before i left, we were pretty open with each other about a lot of things and i don’t think i’ve ever heard him be more serious and sincere about something before. he’s taking rehab seriously and i can tell he’s really trying. until he gives me a reason not to trust him and his new leaf, i want to be there for him.”

“he apologized to me,” jj spoke when he realized you had finished your small spiel. “he wants to apologize to you guys too.”

“he’s talked about it multiple times, actually,” you informed them. “and, i trust you guys with this, he probably doesn’t want this spread around so keep it between us ok?” all three boys nodded and you continued. “he told me that the main person he wants to apologize to is peterkin. and he told me that he’s scared because that means he has to face her. and he just looked so, i don’t know how to describe it, but he definitely wasn’t comfortable thinking about the idea of having to look her in the eye after what he’s done.” the air was thick yet silent, no one quite sure what to say after the heaviness of the conversation.

“well if you trust him then i guess i can too,” pope spoke finally and john b nodded in agreement.

“yeah, but one wrong move and you let us know, ok?” you smiled slightly and nodded.

“okay.” john b reached out for a fist bump and your knuckles lightly met his, just as your stomach started to growl. “jj can we go for lunch now?” he nodded and stood, reaching down to help pull you to your feet.

“what are we having?” he asked, hoping you had managed to find a new favorite food while you were away. he was wrong.

“i was thinking sushi,” you spoke with a smile but jj groaned. john b laughed and pope shook his head.

“we almost made it a full week,” he stated and you giggled.

“we never make it a full week without sushi, boys. come on, haven’t had any in two years.” you grabbed jj’s hand and started to pull him down the trail only for him to fake a look of fear to the other two.

“yeah, neither have we y/n,” john b yelled after you and pope lightly hit his arm as the two started off down the trail as well.

“dude, don’t let her know we’ve boycotted or she’ll make us like, catch up on it or something.”

“i heard that!” you yelled over your shoulder, causing both pope and john b to groan.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Into The Unknown, Part 1

... I have no self-control do not perceive me

Marinette stared at the pile of bright red, yellow, and green clothes on the ground. It was all she’d done in the five-ish minutes since she’d portaled onto the scene. Just… stared.

It wasn’t like there was much else to do, anyways. Red Robin was currently beating the absolute fuck out of the person that had the audacity to disintegrate his brother right in front of him. It wasn’t like she could even fix it because the witch had been out cold before she had been able to pull Red Robin off to get a hit in so she could use her lucky charm.

So, she stared.

It was weird. She could almost feel a person inside the clothes but… maybe that was the residue or the ashes or whatever gets left behind when you zap a person out of existence? She didn’t really want to check, to be honest. Gross.

Eventually, though, she hesitantly leaned down and brushed her hand over it, trying to find the energy and get rid of it because it was really uncomfortable --.

… oh hell no that pile of clothes did not just fucking giggle at her.

She narrowed her eyes and carefully lifted up the bottom of the shirt, only to yelp and fall back. She scrabbled on the gross Gotham alley ground until her back hit Red Robin’s arm and he was forced to pause or risk hitting a meta (which would not have been good for his health).

“What?” He hissed.

She swallowed thickly. “That’s a child.”

“... what?” Red asked, all the anger bleeding from his tone in his confusion.

“We let Batman’s kid turn into a baby,” she whispered… then, it sunk in more. “We let Batman’s kid turn into a baby.”

He straightened on top of the thing that was really more bloody pulp than person at this point. “What do you mean ‘we let Batman’s kid turn into a baby’?”

But she didn’t really get a chance to answer because the baby chose that exact moment to be sick of being suffocated under all the armor and pushed it off.

Red Robin gulped. Because, yep, that was Robin as a baby. Batman was going to kill them.

Except he wasn’t going to kill them. Because Batman doesn't kill. No, Batman would find something even worse and that would suck.

The baby -- Robin? Should she still call him that mentally? -- giggled at their pain. Like an asshole.

They were so fucked.

~

He’d let B’s favorite kid get turned into a baby. Was there a way to get unadopted? Because if there was it was totally going to happen. Or maybe his dad would just cut him off because he was 19 now and could just get kicked out.

No. Nope! Not going to happen. No. He could fix this.

“Okay. Okay okay okay. We need a plan,” he heard himself saying.

Ladybug scoffed. “We? I was barely even here, this is on you.”

“Leave me alone to deal with this and I swear to god I will tell B that you did it.”

She paled. “You wouldn’t. No way.”

“Yes way. So, help me think of something.”

The baby giggled and started crawling over and both of them averted their eyes because, unfortunately, the child did not get baby clothes to go with his random transformation. Baby Damian didn't seem to care as he reached them and started climbing on Ladybug since she was closest. At least it wasn’t him. He did not want to see his adoptive brother’s… ew.

Ladybug made a gagging sound and then quickly summoned a lucky charm. She kept her face turned away as much as her neck would physically allow as she fumbled her way through swaddling the child in a polka-dotted blanket.

And then her shoulders slumped a little. “Great. Great. This is… great,” she muttered, picking up the bundle o’ baby.

He let himself look down now that it was safe.

“Alright, we need to go to another dimension where time moves faster,” Ladybug said after a few seconds. “And then we wait for him to age… fifteen-ish years. Best way to not make Batman notice.”

“... what about us? We also age.”

“Huh…? Oh. Right. You’re human.” She pulled off the glasses she was wearing and blinked a few times before handing it over. “Congrats on your upgrade. The tiny horse god is named Kaalki. She likes cake.”

“The tiny --?” He let out the world’s manliest screech as his eyes landed on the floating bug horse hybrid thing holy shit no no no no no the sci fi movies didn’t prepare him for this shit.

Kaalki looked a little offended but then her eyes landed on the baby and she gasped. “Aw, baby humans are always so cute.”

“Great, Kaalki, you take it,” said Ladybug.

Kaalki did try, to her credit. It just so happened that the approximately one-year-old baby was a lot bigger than the… whatever she was. Tim was refusing to believe that this was a god. Too many implications. He already had something to have a breakdown over, he didn’t need another thing right now, thank you very much.

Tim rested his head in his hands but he had more things to worry about than the blood that he was accidentally streaking through his hair.

“Okay. Okay. We can go to another dimension and try and raise him. Maybe we can make it have a ratio of one month here for every year there so any differences could be blamed on that.”

“Ya!” Said baby Damian. He probably didn’t actually know what was going on but he sure seemed excited so that was cool.

Ladybug sighed and nodded. “Great. You get food and money and clothes and I’ll take this lady to the cops… and I guess I’ll watch the kid until you get back because your dad cannot know.”

They shook on it.

~

This may be the dumbest idea that she’d ever had, and that was saying something. She didn’t know if she could trust Red Robin on this one, they hardly ever worked together. What if he just left her alone with this kid and let her try and figure this out on her own?

No. He wouldn’t do that. He was the last person known to be with Robin. Robin going missing would be bad for him, too. And, besides, she was pretty sure that he was a duty-driven person based on what she’d heard, she just had to hope that he saw this as his duty, too.

She turned the baby in her arms to get more comfortable as she waited for him to (hopefully) come back.

Part of her wanted to try and find someone from this world to reverse this but she didn’t know any outside of her, Adrien, Alix, and (now) Red Robin. Not on a personal level. Not enough that she knew for sure that they wouldn’t blab to Batman about it.

So, no, this is what she was doing.

But she had things to do. So, she pulled out her yoyo-phone-hybrid-thingy and wedged it against her ear.

“Chaton,” she said the moment he picked up. “You’re alone, right?”

“Uh… yeah?”

“Great. I, Ladybug, relinquish the Miracle Box and name Chat Noir the new guardian.”

“WHAT --?!” He didn’t get to finish as a box dropped on his lap and knocked the wind out of him.

“Just for, like, a year and a half. Sorry. Bye!”

“DON’T JUST ‘BYE’ ME WHAT THE --?!”

She hung up and closed the yoyo, hooking it back to her belt and ignoring it when it started buzzing again.

She looked down at Robin, who was squinting up at her. She returned the squint. Why was this baby so quiet? She didn’t get it. Surely, he should have been crying at this point.

“Do you still… remember things?” She asked, hoping against all hope that maybe he had retained his memories at the very least.

Robin smiled at her, but it was the blank-eyed baby smile that meant he wasn’t really understanding her. She bit down a curse.

Great. So, she’d not only gotten a baby but she’d gotten a fucking weird one. Great.

~

Tim left a note for his family saying that he, Damian, and Ladybug were bored and were going dimension hopping. His family would probably be suspicious but, hey, at least it wouldn’t be his problem for a good fifteen years on his end.

And, yeah, he knew this was probably one of his dumber plans but… it wasn’t the dumbest. And he was always one to commit when it came down to it. One time he had faked being shot and dealt with crutches for an entire year just to convince Vicki Vale that he wasn’t Red Robin. He had no fears that he couldn’t see this through.

Ladybug, though? A total mystery. She did nearly everything on a whim as far as he knew. She hopped from city to city fighting crime for absolutely no reason outside of boredom and made up all of her plans on the fly. No, he was a bit concerned about her ability to keep doing it.

So, he went as quickly as he possibly could. There was no rhyme or reason to what he was grabbing. He was just… putting stuff in there. There was money and three watches to help them move between dimensions, yes, but there was also a fanta orange and a copy of Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy and exactly seven pairs of socks.

… yeah, he had the necessities. Probably.

He nearly got out the door before he realized he was still in his crime-fighting gear and he quickly shucked it all off and tossed it into the tub so the blood wouldn’t track any more than it already had. He did not need to avoid Batman’s wrath only to end up on the receiving end of Alfred’s.

He pulled on the first hoodie and jeans he could grab and looked around to make sure he hadn’t left anything of importance.

Okay. Now he was ready to go.

~

Marinette was awkwardly bouncing the baby when Red Robin finally showed up.

… not that she would have recognized him if she hadn’t felt Kaalki hovering in his pocket. In her eyes, he was just a random white guy wearing shades in the middle of the night.

She glanced up at him and gave him an awkward smile.

“Ready?”

He smiled back and held out two watches. Neither fit baby Robin so she prepared herself to choke out a literal baby holy fuck what even was her life.

“Which dimension should we go to?”

“Preferably one without miraculi,” Marinette said. “I don’t want to know what happens if there’s two of the same god in a dimension.”

He nodded slowly. “Probably best if Batman doesn’t exist, either, he’d probably notice my existence.”

“... so… no heroes at all?”

“Looks like we’re going cold turkey,” Red Robin said in a tone that was probably supposed to be joking but just came out flat.

She pushed herself to her feet and waited as he scrolled through the millions of dimensions.

Finally, he came upon one and she added the coordinates to her and Robin’s watches.

She readied Robin’s watch against his neck and tried to ignore the kid’s sudden squirminess.

“3… 2… 1…”

They were gone in a whirl of blue light.

~~~~~

Next

@nathleigh @peachmuses

[atlabeth]

everything happens for a reason part 7 - zuko x fem!reader

I think my ways are wearing me down

part 6 | masterlist | part 8

a/n: as said very astutely in my outline, "y/n just keeps taking L's"

i actually had to take breaks while writing the final scene and watching the episode LMAo i forgot how fucking sad this scene was!!

warning(s): you know what happens in this chapter. its siege of the north part 2. its so much more angst like SO MUCH ANGST. im so sorry i got so sad while writing this

wc: 4.0k

chapter title comes from brand new city by mitski!

Y/N adjusted her hold on the basket of clothes as she knocked on the door with her free hand, pushing it open after waiting a few moments.

“Prince Zuko?” she called in a whisper. They had gotten past the point of formalities, but it was a precaution she opted to take when they met like this. She spotted him sitting on his bed and he gave her a thumbs up, a sign she took to mean they were in the clear. Y/N closed the door behind her and bounded over, then set the basket on his bed.

“Alright. I brought you the book that you wanted to borrow.” She unearthed the novel from the pile of clothes with caution, taking care to not ruin the hard work that went into folding all of them. “I had to hide it so I could get in here — no one thinks anything of a servant bringing clothes around, but books are a little more suspicious. But here you go! My very own edition of ‘Keiko and the Koalaotter’.”

“Thank you!” The prince grinned as he took the book and examined the cover. “I’ve always been curious about Water Tribe culture, even more after you started teaching me about it. They don’t really tell us about it in our classes.”

“It’s not really accurate to actual Water Tribe stuff, but it is cute,” she laughed. “I remember begging my parents for a koalaotter for weeks after I finished it. They told me that there was no way to get one all the way in the Earth Kingdom, but I never listened to them.”

“Oh, that reminds me!” His eyes lit up as he ran over to the windowsill. “I got you a gift too!”

“Zuko, really? You shouldn’t have.”

“Well, I did. So don’t even think about not accepting it,” he joked. He picked something up from a vase and bounded back over, doing as good a job of hiding the flowers behind his back as his excited grin.

“What is it?” she questioned.

“They’re silver wisterias!” he exclaimed as he presented the bouquet. “They grow in the palace gardens. They’re really pretty, and so are you, and I know how much you love the gardens, so I thought you’d like it.”

She felt her cheeks heat up when she accepted the gift, twirling the stem in her fingers as she inhaled its sweet scent with a smile. “That’s really thoughtful of you, Zuko. Thank you.”

“Of course! You could wear one in your hair, pin one onto your uniform, put them in your room, whatever you want.”

As she carefully ran her fingers over the petals, she couldn’t stop the nagging question at the back of her mind from escaping.

“Why are you so nice to me?” she blurted out, causing Zuko’s brows to furrow in confusion.

“Because you’re my friend. Friends are nice to each other.”

“I know, but why are we friends?” she pushed. “You know that you could get in trouble for talking to me like this, but you still do it. Why?”

He pondered the question for a moment before he answered. “Well.. you don’t treat me like everyone else. I’m the prince, so everyone here has to do what I want and be nice to me. But you’re not like that. When it’s just the two of us, you treat me like anyone else, and I like that — I know that you always mean what you say, so when you’re nice to me I know it’s because you like me, not because you have to be. Why do you do that?” the prince asked as he turned the tables. “You know that you could get in trouble for talking to me like this, but you still do it. Why?”

She punched him playfully on the shoulder and giggled. “Someone’s gotta keep you humble.”

His cheeks flushed a bright red as he rubbed his arm shyly. “I’m really glad we’re friends. Sometimes it feels like you’re my only one in this whole nation.”

“So am I,” she beamed. “Always and forever, right?”

“Right.”

-

Y/N’s eyes snapped open and she gasped, immediately whipping her head around frantically to see if the Avatar was still there, but Katara shook her head.

“He’s gone,” Katara said miserably, confirming her suspicions. “I woke up a few minutes before you and I checked everywhere.”

“Great,” she muttered. She rubbed the back of her head and winced — she had a feeling she would be plagued by headaches for at least the next couple of days.

“So…” Katara began. “You and Zuko both recognized each other. He— he said he thought that you were dead.”

Y/N pursed her lips, wondering how to start that story, when Sokka and Yue burst into the oasis on Appa.

“What happened?” he questioned. “Where’s Zuko?”

“He took Aang,” Katara mourned. “He took him right out from under me.”

“It’s not your fault, Katara,” Y/N insisted. “It really looks like he’s improved since… since last time.”

“‘Last time’?” Sokka asked, prompting a sigh from Y/N. She looked to Yue for help, and the princess nodded supportively.

“We have… history.” She looked at her hands for a moment before continuing. “I’m not from the Northern Water Tribe. My mother is, but I was born in a small village in the Earth Kingdom. I told you that my village was invaded, Katara, but after it, my mother and I were captured for being waterbenders, and they took us to the Fire Nation to work as healers and servants in the palace.”

“I became friends with Zuko there. He was nothing like you saw today, or like anything you know from the past. He was kind, and caring, and passionate, and he made my dismal life a little bit brighter. And… we ended up falling for each other.”

“We went too far, the Fire Lord found out, and— well, he was going to kill me. My mother managed to get me out, but she stayed behind, and I haven’t seen her since that night. I haven’t seen Zuko since that night. I always held hope that I would find my way back and see them both again, but now that Zuko is like… like that?” She bit down on her lip and shook her head.

“Now I don’t know what to think. He’s completely different than anything I knew, than the boy that I fell in love with. And I can’t help but think about what happened to my mother if that is what happened to Zuko.” And I can’t help but think that it’s my fault for not being there for him.

A collective silence hung in the air for just a moment before Sokka broke it. “You had a thing with Zuko?”

Y/N let out a surprised laugh as Katara hit him on the shoulder. “Sokka, now is not the time!”

“No,” she chuckled. “No, it’s alright. It’s a lot, I know. It’s just… impossible. That the Zuko I knew turned into someone like this. I mean, you saw, Katara— he didn’t even hesitate to try and hurt me.”

Katara pulled her into a warm embrace before separating and looking her in the eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N, for all that you’ve been through. And I know that fighting against Zuko hurts, so if you can’t come after Aang with us then I completely understand—”

“No,” she said once more, something hardening in her eyes. “I’ll help you find Aang, it’s the least I can do. Besides, I… I have to see him again. I have to see him again to know that this is actually real, that— that this is actually who he is now.”

Katara nodded solemnly; Sokka had already started walking back to Appa with Yue. “Well, Zuko couldn’t have gotten far. We’ll find him — Aang’s gonna be fine.”

Katara looked back hopefully at Y/N and she met her eyes with a smile, though slightly strained, as she jogged to catch up with them. But as she climbed onto Appa with her fellow waterbender, the anger in his eyes was all she could see.

The boy she fought might’ve been the Fire Prince, but it was not her Zuko.

-

Cold.

That was all Zuko seemed to know as he trekked through the frozen tundra, the blizzard around him threatening to end him at any moment. No more had he despised the Water Tribes than he did in this moment, but the weight of the Avatar on his back and the promise of his honor was enough to push him onwards.

The only thing on his mind that he couldn’t shake was her.

Zuko thought she was dead, honestly and truly. Few were lucky enough to escape his father’s wrath once it was incurred upon them — Zuko himself wasn’t even an exception — and though he wanted nothing more than for her to be one of the few, he knew that she was dead. There was no other explanation.

For years, the waterbender had been a staple in his mind — a memory of a childhood love, of a better time. He thought about her when he fought against his soldiers on slow evenings on the ship, her words of encouragement and joking retorts echoing through his ears as he went through every form. He thought about her when he talked to his uncle, his attitude often mirroring hers. The morning of the Agni Kai, he almost turned to her for reassurance before remembering.

Spirits, Zuko thought about her every time he looked at the water. And even all these years after her disappearance, he was still plagued by nightmares of her fate.

He had resigned himself to mourning her. Zuko truly thought she was dead.

But there she was, in the flesh, with the Avatar and his friends. Breathing. Alive. His enemy.

How the fuck was he supposed to deal with that?

She was even more beautiful than he remembered, but it was obvious the years since her escape had weathered her. He noticed a certain emptiness in her eyes, the brightness from their childhood a distant memory. It was obvious she had grown — she carried a certain elegance that he didn’t remember, and her skill in waterbending had improved so much since the days of their sparring sessions.

It felt like he had betrayed her. The expression she wore after his first blast was like a physical weight, the guilt of broken promises heavy over his head when he struck the final blow. So familiar to their friendly fights, yet such a far cry.

But they weren’t kids anymore. She had changed, and so had he.

It had been years. Any feelings he still harbored for her didn’t matter anymore.

Zuko had a mission, and he was going to complete it no matter what.

-

The tundra was treacherous, the blizzard making it difficult to see anything at all. Y/N had taken to holding Yue’s hand, something the princess had offered when she had seen how restless her friend was, as well as gnawing on the bottom of her lip. She feared for both Zuko and Aang, and she could only hope that they would be able to find them before something happened to either of them.

“Don’t worry,” the princess reassured. “Prince Zuko can’t be getting too far in this weather.”

“I’m not worried they’ll get away in the blizzard,” Katara murmured. “I’m worried that they won’t.”

“They’re not gonna die in this blizzard,” Sokka said as he gripped the reins tighter. “If we know anything, it’s that Zuko never gives up.”

Y/N chuckled softly and nodded. “You’ve got that right.”

Yue gave her hand a squeeze and a small smile, a sentiment that Y/N returned as Sokka continued. “They’ll survive, and we’ll find them.”

It took a few more minutes of riding and searching, but eventually a bright blue light streaked through the air. Katara gasped and pointed up. “Look!” she exclaimed. “That’s gotta be Aang! Yip yip!”

Appa groaned once more and Sokka turned to follow the light — it had stopped in a small cove before glowing brilliantly then disappearing — and sure enough, Zuko and Aang were down in the snow.

“Appa!” he cheered as they landed, causing Zuko’s eyes to flick up too. Y/N met his gaze for just a moment before he broke it, throwing Aang to the side and easing into a bending stance as Katara slid off of Appa’s back.

“Here for a rematch?” Zuko challenged, the undeserved confidence he spoke with a glimpse of the past.

“Trust me, Zuko,” Katara countered as she raised her hands, “It’s not going to be much of a match.”

She blocked his fire blast then sent a current of snow at him, launching him up into the air on a frozen column before letting him fall to the ground and knocking him out. Y/N couldn’t help but wince, and as Sokka jumped down to free Aang, she slid down as well.

She ran over the pile of snow and bent it off of Zuko, then knelt down next to him and pulled off her glove. She put two fingers on his neck and confirmed what she already thought, but it was still a relief. He was alive, but he wouldn’t be for much longer if he stayed out here.

“What are you doing?” she heard Sokka yell. Y/N turned to find everyone back on Appa already, staring expectantly at her.

“We can’t leave him!” Y/N protested.

“Sure we can!” he countered. “Now come on, let’s go!”

“No,” she insisted, pressing the back of her hand against his forehead. It was ice cold. “If we leave him, he’ll die!”

“She’s right.” Aang airbended himself off of Appa and helped her pick up Zuko; Aang bringing himself and the prince back onto the bison with his element and Y/N climbing back up with a hand from Katara.

Sokka rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Yeah, this makes a lot of sense. Let’s bring the guy who’s constantly trying to kill us.”

Y/N ignored the remark and met Aang’s eyes, mouthing a silent ‘thank you’. He smiled and nodded, then grabbed the reins and took off.

As they flew through the sky, Y/N glanced down at Zuko. He looked so much more peaceful now than a few moments ago, his features relaxed rather than tense. It was strange seeing him like this after all these years; angry, scarred, changed. Nothing like the reunion she had imagined.

She bent some of the snow falling down into water and molded it over the cuts on his face, the element taking on a slight glow as she started to heal him.

“Oh, Zuko,” she murmured. “What happened in those four years?”

As if her concentration had broken, the water previously under her control lost both its shape and glow as it pooled on his face. She frowned and attempted to bend it off, but none of the usual power she felt at night was flowing through her veins.

It was at that moment that Y/N looked up and noticed her surroundings.

Everything was cloaked in a veil of red, a crimson moon their backdrop as they continued through the air. “My bending isn’t working,” Y/N muttered, earning a curious look from Katara.

And to make matters worse, Yue winced and held her head, Aang doing the same.

“Are you okay?” Sokka questioned as he reached out to comfort her.

“I feel faint,” she muttered, the effort it took not lost on Y/N.

“I feel it too.” Aang pressed his palm against the side of his head and grimaced as his gaze shifted upwards. “The Moon Spirit is in trouble.”

Y/N’s eyes widened immediately as they flicked towards Yue, the princess choosing not to meet them as she began to tell them all the story of her birth and how she owed the Moon Spirit her life. By the time she was done the Water Tribe siblings were staring at her with disbelief, but there was no time for questions as they flew into the Spirit Oasis.

The sight that awaited them shocked Y/N to her core. A Fire Nation admiral — one she recognized from all the years ago, yet unable to place a name — held a bag with one clenched fist, the other posing the unsaid threat.

“Don’t bother,” he spat in response to their fighting stances, the two words overflowing with unearned confidence. But as cocky as he may have been, it worked — he knew that they were rendered helpless when he held the possibility of a dying spirit against them.

“Zhao, don’t.” Aang dropped his staff and held his hands up in surrender, an action Y/N and the others mirrored.

Everything after that happened unbelievably quickly. After General Iroh — a man she knew as both the ruthless general that laid siege to Ba Sing Se for six hundred long days and Zuko’s surprisingly kind uncle — threatened the admiral with his own firebending, Y/N foolishly believed it to be the end once he let the fish back into the pond.

But any hopes of peace were dashed with the slice of firebending the admiral sent at Tui, plunging the world back into shades of grey just as quickly as it had returned.

“NO!”

A bloodcurdling scream rang in the air; Y/N thought whoever produced it must’ve been insane. It took her a moment to realize the strangled sound had come from her, and that Sokka’s grip on her arms was the only thing stopping her from foolishly throwing herself into the raging battle that had started.

Did the admiral not understand what he had just done? To attack any spirit was to inflict the rage of many others, to kill a spirit was to sign not only one's own death warrant, but those around him as well.

To kill the Moon Spirit meant to destroy waterbending as the world knew it. To kill the Moon Spirit meant to disrupt the balance of the world. To kill the Moon Spirit meant to kill Yue.

The admiral should’ve considered himself very lucky that her waterbending was gone. With it, Y/N knew she would’ve done something she would regret.

As soon as the flames of Iroh’s onslaught disappeared, Sokka’s grip loosened on her arms and she all but sprinted over to the pond. A choked sob fell from her lips when she saw the dead fish in the water, palpable horror in the air as the rest of the group joined her.

Not even Aang’s feat of merging with the Ocean Spirit could help — it might’ve saved the tribe from the attack on the Fire Nation, but it could do nothing for the dead spirit. Y/N watched on mournfully as Iroh placed Tui back into the pond, the mortal body of the fish laying there unmoving.

“It’s too late,” Katara lamented. “It’s dead.”

Iroh looked up and met Y/N’s eyes, recognition flashing through them for just a moment before they moved to Yue’s. The blue hues of her irises were even more striking than usual — they were the only sign of color in the world around them.

His own widened with surprise as he gestured at her. “You have been touched by the Moon Spirit. Some of its life is in you.”

Yue seemed to understand what he was saying as she raised her head, her features taking on a mask of stoicism. “Yes, you’re right. It gave me life… maybe I can give it back.”

It was as if lightning had struck Y/N, the way that fear was jolted into her heart. “No!” she cried at the same time as Sokka, a reprise of her earlier plea. “Yue, you can’t!”

“You don’t have to do that!” Sokka reached out for her hand but she wrenched it out of his grasp — nothing they could say was going to change her mind.

“It’s my duty.” The princess stated it so plainly, carving the letters on her headstone herself.

“I won’t let you!” Sokka insisted. “Your father told me to protect you.”

“Yue, your duty isn’t to die for your tribe!” Y/N cried. She couldn’t think, spirits she could barely breathe. She couldn’t go through this again. She couldn’t go through this again. “Please, there has to be another way!”

She smiled sadly at Y/N and shook her head. “This was what I was born to do.” The princess glanced at the pond then took a step forward, wrapping Y/N in the tightest hug she could muster. She pressed her lips against Y/N’s cheek in a feather light kiss before she pulled away and continued forward and placed her hands against the koi fish.

The fish began to glow, Yue closed her eyes, she collapsed into Sokka’s arms.

And that was it.

The color returned to the world, but Y/N was frozen in place. She couldn’t do anything to save her friend, the girl that she was pretty sure she loved, as she died in front of her. Her cheek was still burning from where Yue’s lips had touched, and she wanted to bottle that warmth because she knew that was the last time she would ever feel it.

The first tear to fall snapped her out of her paralysis as she fell to her knees next to Sokka, her body cradled in his arms as he mourned for a lost love. Y/N wanted to scream, she wanted to sob, she wanted to do anything to get this anger and sadness out but she could do nothing but stare, eyes wide and shimmering with unshed tears.

Her body slowly faded away, and Y/N could’ve laughed at the irony. Yue gave her life for the spirits and all they could leave them with was the fleeting memory.

The fish in Iroh’s hands began to glow and he placed it back in the water, and almost immediately it returned to its natural rhythm. The oasis took on the glow of the fish and it formed the cruelest joke of them all.

Princess Yue. She was ethereal, both her hair and white dress flowing down her back and a peaceful expression on her face. She was more beautiful than ever, and her voice echoed through the oasis as she spoke.

“I will always be with you, Y/N. Thank you for making me feel alive.” A small smile, much like the one she gave her just moments ago, played on her lips. “I love you.”

Y/N could do nothing but stare, awestruck and heartbroken, as she whispered something to Sokka and kissed him.

And then she was gone.

Her gaze was trained forward, tears spouting and falling down her cheeks, some dim part of her still hoping that it was just a cruel joke by the spirits. She couldn’t go through this again.

How could they do this to her again? How could they introduce a light into her life and make her fall in love, then wrench it away from her grasp? She felt selfish for only caring about herself. She couldn’t go through this again.

Yue was gone.

She couldn’t go through this again.

Another strangled sob fell from her lips and Katara pulled her into a hug. That simple motion seemed to open to the floodgates, and suddenly she was choking on her own tears. Katara’s arms around her were the only tether she had to the world right now, she had to focus on it or else she would lose herself to the grief.

It felt like the minutes were hours with how long it took until Y/N was finally able to walk out of the oasis, but Katara and Sokka stayed by her side the entire time. When they finally stumbled out into the real world, Y/N felt weaker than ever. The constant go go go of the siege had finally caught up to her, and she was so damn tired.

“Always and forever.”

“You’re stuck with me.”

She was losing hope in promises.

-

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

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[crackheadgeminibby]

appearances pt. 1

pairing: 40s!bucky barnes x female!black!reader

warnings: language, angst, mentions of racism a bit?

word count: 2.2k

part 2

a/n: watched the first avenger and my brain almost immediately felt the need to write this down so enjoy, friends!

i do not consent to my work being copied in any way, shape or form or reposted on any other platform

not my gif

Being a Black nurse in the United States in the 1940s was far from easy. Your parents had always taught you to take care of and protect yourself. As you grew up, you learned that people weren’t as black and white, no pun intended, as they had made you believe. As a near 20-year-old now, you still used their advice, but you did so with a grain of salt.

You had always felt the need to help people, which was why you had decided to become a nurse. Sure, it was hard, but you were a strong, determined woman that believed that nothing could stand in the way of your dreams.

And it was by doing exactly that that you had met the love of your life.

James Bucky Barnes.

He was an extremely handsome man. One that came to the hospital far too often to get his friend Steve checked on.

Bucky was a huge flirt, which you didn’t mind, it’s not like you spent that much time together. But after a while, you noticed that Steve always seemed to stay at the hospital slightly longer than the previous time. He always said that he wanted to stay to make sure that everything was okay or that he had a headache and he preferred to stay where it could be monitored. But somehow, Bucky always stayed right next to him.

After about three months of coming to the hospital at least four times a week, Bucky had asked you out. At first, you had thought he was fucking with you. A handsome man like him asking out a regular woman like you? Even after you said no? It had to be a trap. Or so you thought until Bucky had left to use the bathroom one time and Steve had convinced you to say yes to him. He seemed so earnest while talking about how much his friend liked you and talked about you often that you couldn’t refuse. So, you had told him yes but only if you went somewhere private and at night.

It wasn’t because Steve and Bucky didn’t mind the color of your skin that everyone else in town shared that feeling. And you didn’t need this kind of thing coming back to your parents.

And so, you had started dating. Sure, it was in secret and only Steve knew but you didn’t mind. Bucky called you a hopeless romantic, but you liked to say that your romance was like that of Romeo and Juliet.

The sneaking around was fun. At least, at first it was. But now, a year after your relationship had started, it was getting increasingly energy-consuming.

Today was your anniversary with Bucky and it just so happened that you had the day off from work. You were supposed to meet him in the park where you had your first date at sunset but until then, you didn’t have any plans.

So, when your mother asked you to go grocery shopping for her, you hadn’t hesitated to say yes. Oh, how you regretted it now.

You were currently walking back from the grocery store, bags of food in hand when you had first heard it. Bucky’s laugh, coming from near you.

You frown as you focus on it to find him. Your breath hitches and you feel tears pooling in your eyes at the scene in front of you. Bucky is leaning against a wall in a hidden alley, flashing his smile at a girl in front of him, his hand on her cheek. Even with her back to you, you could recognize her.

Dolores. Or Dot as people usually called her. She was Bucky’s longtime pursuit. Everyone thought they would end up married with a whole litter of kids. Childhood sweeathearts and all that.

Bucky looks up, spotting you, and you see his smile falter for half a second before it’s back up like nothing happened.

You bite your lip, trying to keep your tears in, as you turn around and walk faster towards your house. Luckily for you, your family lived near a large park, full of thick, tall trees that were essentially soundproof. As soon as you step foot in the park, tears are flowing freely down your face and sobs are shaking your body.

You hated that you were crying because of this. But what you hated even more was your complete inability to do anything. If you had had any kind of reaction back in town, an uproar was sure to happen. You didn’t want or need that and neither did your parents.

You let out a breath when you arrive at your house and see that nobody’s home.

You put away the groceries hurriedly before taking a hot shower. As you exit the bathroom, you see that the sun has set, making your room pitch black. You also notice that your family has made it home, hearing your father, mother and sister talking downstairs. You close your curtains and turn on your bedside lamp, not wanting a light too bright illuminating your room. You put your pyjamas on as you hear a knock at your door.

“Come in.”

Your mom opens that door and walks in, leaning against your desk before asking, “Already in your pyjamas? Did you already eat?”

You shake your head, replying, “No… I’m just not very hungry so I think I’m going to read a bit then go to sleep.”

Your mom nods slowly before answering, “Okay, good night then, honey.”

You mumble a “good night” to her as you get under your covers. You reach for the book sitting on your bed night table. You didn’t even remember the last time you had time to sit down and read.

You barely read a sentence before you hear a small noise at your window. You roll your eyes, knowing exactly who it was.

You set your book down and walk to the window, opening the curtains and sliding the window open just a smidge.

“What do you want, Bucky?”

Bucky cringes at your use of his full name. In the past year, you had only ever called him Buck or Baby, sometimes James when you were joking, but never Bucky.

Bucky smiles slightly at you, “Can I come in?”

You sigh, opening the window completely and turning around to sit on your bed. Bucky climbs into your bedroom and sits down on the edge of your window.

“So, how was your day?”

You look at him, mouth agape. Was he being serious right now?

You cross your arms across your chest and reply sarcastically, “Gee, Bucky, my day was great, thanks for asking.”

He bites his bottom lip before coming to sit down next to you. “Nothing happened with Dot. We were just talking.”

You sigh and shake your head, getting up to pace around your room. “I don’t care, Bucky. That’s not the problem. I just…” You stop in front of your closet, looking down at your feet, “I can’t do it anymore, Bucky. I can’t handle it.”

Bucky walks towards you rapidly, “No, no… Don’t say that, doll. I won’t see Dot again, I promise. I won’t talk to any other girl, only you. Just don’t say that please.”

You shake your head, looking up at Bucky.

“It doesn’t matter if you see her again or not. Or who you talk to. It just can’t work.”

Bucky stutters, trying to find the right words to say, before looking into your eyes, unshed tears in his.

“Why are you doing this to us?”

You glance at the floor before looking back into his eyes, biting your bottom lip, “Because, Bucky, it just has to be like this.”

Bucky shakes his head, “No but I won’t talk to Dot again, it’s fine.”

“God, Bucky, it’s not about-”, you start, practically screaming before Bucky puts a hand over your mouth, frowning.

“Keep your voice down!”

You rip his hand away from your face before walking back to your bed.

“It’s not about Dot, Bucky. Or anyone else. It’s about me.”

Bucky looks at you confusedly.

“We’re not going to go anywhere, Bucky. It’s not like we’re going to get married and have kids or something. It’s stupid to keep doing this when we have no future together.” You finish, throwing your hands in the air.

Bucky’s face contorts with an expression of hurt and slight anger, “You don’t see a future with me?”, he whispers.

You look up at him and despite every single cell in your body screaming at you to say yes, you shake your head at him.

You see a single tear fall from his eye before he nods his head dejectedly. He wipes it away angrily before walking back to your window. He makes his way on your roof but before jumping down to the ground, he fishes something out of his pocket. He slams a small, black box on your windowsill and says, “Happy anniversary, by the way.”

He looks at you one last time before jumping down from your roof. You feel some tears falling down your face before you walk slowly to your window. You take the box, exhaling deeply as you open it, feeling the air being sucked out of your lungs.

A modest but beautiful engagement ring sits in the center of the box, surrounded by velvet. Tears are now freely flowing down your face as you take the box and lay down in bed, staring at it for God knows how long. After feeling like no tears are left in your body, you close the box, tucking it in your bed night table drawer, before falling asleep.

The next morning, you wake up, stiff, dehydrated and with a headache. As much as you would have liked to stay in bed and cry some more, you had a shift at the hospital this morning that you absolutely could not miss.

You wearily get up from your bed, following through with your morning routine before walking to the hospital. As you look at your assignment for the day, you hear a small throat clear behind you. You whip around, seeing Steve right behind you, looking exhausted. He waves at you, muttering a “hey”.

You take him to his usual room and make him sit on the bed before getting the clipboard from the counter.

“So, what’s wrong with you today, Steve?”

“Nothing. I came to talk to you about Bucky.”

You swallow thickly before putting the clipboard back down slowly. You lean on the counter and cross your arms before nodding at Steve to continue.

“He came back home last night, sobbing. I could barely even understand anything from what he was saying except your name. What happened last night?”

You look away from Steve uncomfortably before biting your lip and answering quietly, “I broke up with him.”

Steve frowns in confusion before asking, “But why? I thought everything was going super well. Did he mess up the proposal or something?”

You feel tears rise in your eyes at the mention of Bucky’s proposal. You shake your head slowly before replying, “He didn’t make it to the proposal.”

Steve looks at you, even more confused than before.

You sigh, saying, “I broke up with him because it’s what’s best for him. He doesn’t need to be held back by me. Do you know what people would say if they saw us together, Steve?”

Steve looks at you, surprised, “Since when do you care about what people have to say about you?”

You shake your head, “Us.” Steve tilts his head in confusion.

“People wouldn’t be talking about me. They would be talking about Bucky and me. I’m protecting him. He doesn’t need to go through that kind of shit. If anything, I’m doing him a favor.”

“Why can’t you let him decide what he needs?”

“It doesn’t matter, Steve. It’s done. Bucky probably doesn’t want to see me ever again.”

“That’s not true.”

You feel the air being knocked out of you as you turn around to see Bucky in the doorframe. He looks drained, his face void of color and his eyes bloodshot.

“I love you more than anything else in the world. How could you ever say that I don’t want to see you?”

“Bucky…”

Steve gets up from the bed, walking towards the door, “I’ll leave you two alone.”

As Steve is leaving, Bucky enters the room and closes the door behind him.

He stands in front of you, slightly out of reach, with his hands in his pocket.

You exhale deeply before starting, “Look, Bucky, I can’t do it. It didn’t really hit me until yesterday that we’re not going anywhere together, it can’t work.”

Bucky clenches his jaw tightly, “Stop saying that.”

“But it’s true, Bucky. Do you really think that anyone is going to support us?”

“Steve does.”

You roll your eyes slightly, “Steve is literally the definition of good. He couldn’t be mean to me if he tried.” Bucky chuckles softly, knowing that you were right. His face becomes serious again before he replies, “Who cares about anyone else? There’s you and me in this relationship. No one else. So, no one else matters.”

You shake your head, “Bucky, we can’t just live with no friends and no family. What kind of life would that be?”

“It doesn’t matter because I would be with you.”

You feel your heart squeeze at Bucky’s words, “Bucky, we can’t. It has to be this way.” You look up at the clock behind him.

“I have to go, my shift started 10 minutes ago.” You walk towards Bucky, stroking his cheek. He leans into your hand before you kiss him softly. His eyes flutter shut as his hands grab your waist.

You pull away from him gently before saying, almost inaudibly,

“Goodbye, Bucky.”

hi @saiyanprincessswanie i would love it if you could read this! part 2 is coming in about a week though!🤗

[bonkers-4-hatter]

!Yandere !Vampire Kisumi X Reader - Love Bites

♥ TW: This fanfic has mentions of kidnapping, violence, assault, biting and mentions of blood along with the biting, forced intimacies, forcing self onto the reader at certain points and yandere themes and actions. ♥ If any of the above does trigger you, please do not read. All characters are 18+ as college is mentioned in the past tense. 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥                                                                                              ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥                                  You were never one to believe in such things as mythical creatures, it was just a bunch of nonsense. Of course, they’re wonderful tall tales to tell and talk about when you were younger, but you’re grown now; out of that phase you could say.

Tall tales, that’s all they were...at least you thought they were.

You could draw everything that you’ve experienced and seen as a lack of sleep, working too hard, or just needing a break to calm your mind, but with the most recent experiences you just couldn’t come up with an excuse for them and that very thought chilled you to your core. The dark figure standing in the corner of your room at night using the darkness as a veil, but the thing that stood out to you was the flickers of pink from the top of the figure's head from the small slivers of moonlight peeking through the closed curtains. 

Not only did the figure terrify you, but the touches were what set you over the edge. The soft touches that caressed your cheeks, head and the curves and contours of your body as the hands glided across your blanket covered body. You would always peek your eyes open only to see the same pink hair in your view.

The only person you knew with pink hair was Kisumi. 

He was your friend, a close friend at that. You guys did everything together, having been friends since College it just made sense for you guys to do things together. His behavior used to be carefree, fun and just free. Kisumi was a free spirit, but you noticed something change within him in the past few years; he was more possessive toward you. Always wanting to have your attention, scaring off potential significant others.

This wasn’t his usual behavior with you. Not only that, but his mannerisms have changed too. Not really eating in front of you, coming over at night only; claiming his new job had him working mornings many days and just being too exhausted to go anywhere with you during the day. Just weird things that have come up that rubbed you the wrong way. 

You hated that your mind went to these tall tales of Vampires, but you couldn’t come up with a normal answer. With his towering figure plaguing your mind, the touches that came in contact with your resting body and the constant fear and shiver of being watched by something unknown, hidden, just lurking in the shadows with their eyes fixated on you. 

Looking at how Kisumi was laughing and socializing with your guys’ group of friends, it’s as if nothing changed with him and he was the same ole Kisumi that everyone knew and had a great time with. He might have been able to fool the rest of your friends, but you knew something was up and tonight you were going to confront him even if you sounded like a lunatic. Taking a final drink of your (favorite drink), you placed some money on the table to cover your portion of the bill along with everyone else as everyone started to get up and say their goodbyes, making plans to meet up again next month as usual. 

Giving a final wave to your friends, you felt an arm snake around your shoulders and pulled you into a firm body. “(Y/N)-chan, let’s get you home.” Kisumi’s smooth voice filtered through your ears as you both made your way down the mostly empty sidewalk, the chatter and lively atmosphere of the restaurant dying away the further you walked away. The only noise that echoed around the silent street was both of your footsteps.

“You know I can get myself home, right Kisu?” He only shook his head and rubbed your shoulder, his cold skin giving you goosebumps as he brushed his fingers against the skin of your exposed upper arm. That was another weird thing with him, he was always cold now. He used to be warm, overly warm actually, always a human furnace. Now though, he was always cold to the touch and it always made you shiver no matter how many times it happened. 

“I know (Y/N), but I have to protect you from all the monsters out there, don’t I?” Another shiver ran down your spine at his question, you knew it was playful. It was Kisumi, he was always playful when it came to you, but this felt like it held an underlying meaning; like he was trying to tell you something. Scoffing, you rolled your eyes at his words. “Sure, the monsters Kisumi, whatever you say.” He laughed at your words as the both of you continued to walk down the street in silence. 

Clearing your throat, you decided to just ask him. “So, speaking of monsters, what do you think about vampires?” Kisumi stopped walking as he grasped your shoulder in a tight grip making you reel back as well. “What the hell Kisumi?!” Your shoulder burned a bit at how hard he dug his fingernails into your skin, but he still didn’t let go. Looking at his face he had a stoic look and his eyes were menacing in a way; narrowed and pointed right at you. “Vampires? Now, why would little (Y/N)-chan bring up such a thing as Vampires?” The malice that was laced in his voice was evident and downright terrifying especially in a situation where you were alone with him at night on an empty street. 

You tried to yank yourself away from his strong hold, but he didn’t let up. “It was a joke Kisumi, what’s wrong with you?” He only smirked at your words, before pushing against your shoulder until you hit the brick wall of one of the buildings. “A joke huh?” Placing his other hand on your free shoulder, he pinned you in place, the brick rubbing against your exposed skin in a way that it surely would leave marks. Before you could protest, Kisumi leaned down to your ear and whispered, “Do you think it’s a joke as you watch me in the corner of your room, or when I touch your delicious body in bed?” Your breath caught in your throat at his words. 

Your hands pushed hard against his chest, fear crawling up your body at his words. “That’s not fucking funny Kisu, I’m leaving.” Without waiting for him to respond, you shoved your way past him, resuming the trek to your house. Even the thought of your house wasn’t safe, it made you even more fearful, but you didn’t have much of a choice at this point. You felt like the darkness was suffocating you at this point and without a second thought, you ran the remainder of the few blocks, your front door in your view making you somewhat relieved. 

Deadbolting the door, your body slid down, settling at the floor. You felt exhausted, fearful and not to mention paranoid. Heavy eyes scanned the living room and what you could see of your hallway and everything seemed clear. Getting up with weak legs, you turned on every light in the house paying no mind to the thought of your electric bill nor how silly it seemed. This was what made you feel safe and at this point you were going to do anything to feel that way. 

After changing into some pajamas and trying to relax from the encounter with Kisumi, you found yourself wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, television playing a cliche horror movie. Wanting something to take your mind off what happened, you got sucked into the black and white film.

Your mind was completely preoccupied with the slasher film, blanket clutched in your hands, hiding your face behind the fuzzy comfort item as specific gory and violent scenes would pop on the screen. Usually you would watch these movies, any movie really with Kisumi...your mind went to your friend for a moment, not of the creepy things that have arisen recently, but of the memories of you both together. He would be here right now poking fun at you for being scared of these scenes, but also ‘protecting’ you from whatever was going on.

As your mind was wandering, you didn’t notice the presence next to you, not until a hand was on your thigh, fingers tapping against the supple flesh that was exposed from your pajamas. A scream erupted from your throat, but a hand clasped over your mouth, muffled cries were the only thing in the room, the noises on the television being drowned out by the thumping of your own heart. “Now (Y/N), this is the best part, hold in that scream for a minute, alright love?” His hand was still over your mouth and his free one was still trailing along your thigh. Side eyeing him, he sat there with a content smile on his face, eyes still glued on the screen. You stayed in that position for the next ten minutes until the credits were rolling.

“I loved watching these movies with you (Y/N), it was nice to be your savior when you got scared at certain scenes.” His hand uncovered your mouth, but started to stroke the soft skin down the slope of your neck getting dangerously close to the valley of your chest. “K-Kisu...how’d you get in?” Your body started to tremble as he just laughed at the fear pouring out of you at this moment. Gripping the back of your neck, Kisumi pulled you toward him, his face shoving itself into the crook of your neck as he started to place soft kisses along the slope of your neck and your collarbone. 

You felt his hot breath fan your skin as he answered your question. “Oh (Y/N), I think you already know the answer...I always tell you to lock your window.” The color drained from your face. Your window. The window that was always unlocked. It was something you didn’t think about because it was on the second floor. A place no human can reach because there were no trees, ledges, anything to help with climbing up. 

“Am I right Kisu?” A single question you needed answered. A heavy silence hung in the air as the man in question even stopped his kisses on your skin. “You’re always right (Y/N), I knew you would piece everything together, my (Y/N) is smart after all.” You could feel the sharpness of teeth scrape against the tender flesh of your neck, your breath hitching at the sensation. 

“I’ve always wanted to taste you, to know how sweet your blood is, I might get addicted to it (Y/N), but I don’t want to drain you dry...I want you around forever with me.” He laughed at the flinch in your body as he pressed his fangs a bit deeper into your neck. “You’re not ready to be changed yet either.” Sitting back up, he effortlessly pulled you into his lap, arms wrapping around your waist and anchoring you to him. “I think I’ll keep you as my personal toy until you’re ready to be changed, doesn’t my (Y/N) like the sound of that?” Fully grinning at the petrified look on your face, he showed you his sharp fangs, tongue sliding over them to add emphasis on what would happen if you disobeyed him.

--

You didn’t know what month it was, let alone the day. You just knew it’s been so long since Kisumi took you that night at your former house. After he had you in his arms, he told you what was going to happen. You got to pack what you could that night and he took you away. His home was your home now, or as he puts it, our home. 

He didn’t let you out, the house was your own personal prison and you...you were Kisumi’s personal blood bag. He didn’t want to kill you, nor turn you yet, but he had to have a taste of your blood, he tasted every other aspect of you and he knew he’d be addicted to your blood and it turns out he was.

Your skin was littered in bite marks. He would pierce your skin and take a drink from you, enough to make you dizzy before he stopped himself. He couldn’t wait for the wound to heal which is why he bites you in any available skin no matter where it is. 

He just wanted your sweet blood. Sometimes he would go overboard and will only stop if you pass out. Due to him feeding on you, you were exhausted. You turned into a shell of your former self with his constant feeding. Dark bags were under your eyes, droopy lids accompany them as well. All you wanted was rest, proper rest, but you knew you’d never get that again. 

You wouldn’t get anything you wanted again.

“(Y/N), my love, there you are.” Your head lolled to the side, Kisumi standing there with his usual smile on his face. The bed dipped down as his hands smoothed over your body, caressing any part of you he could get. He kissed your lips and made his way down to your neck. Before he could do anything, you whined out, hands weakly trying to stop him. 

“Please, not today Kisumi, I don’t think I can do it. I hurt so much, you drank too much yesterday, please give me a day to recover.” Kisumi cupped your face, thumb stroking the dark bags that decorated under your eyes. “Rest? (Y/N), we’ve been over this already sweetheart, I need to taste you everyday otherwise I might snap and we wouldn’t want that, right?” His hand clutched your face, squishing your cheeks together as you frantically shook your head not wanting to have him hurt you again.

“Good, that’s my good girl.” Placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he let your face go, a breath of relief escaped you as he bared his fangs and traced them over the scarred skin before sinking into the skin of your neck, a place he hasn’t touched in a week which was plenty of time to heal in his opinion.

“Ahh, Kisu...hurts, Kisu, it hurts..” Your weak voice flooded his ears, but he paid you no mind, you always struggled when he did this, but you were his to use and abuse to his desire. You were his little toy, his precious (Y/N).

The feeling of your blood sliding down his throat was beautiful. It was like a drug to him, he couldn’t get enough of it and he knew he was breaking you, but he didn’t care. He will turn you soon and you’ll be fine, but for now he needs you to keep hanging on. The quiet moans of pain only turned him on as he sunk his fangs deeper in your soft skin. “Kisu..too much, stop, please.” Soft pounding of your hands on his back snapped him out of his trance, Unlatching himself from your neck, your head fell to the side, eyes half lidded and skin heated after the ordeal. 

Licking a stray drop of blood from his lips and the puncture wounds on your neck, he was satisfied for now. Even though he was addicted to your blood, he was excited to turn you. You would finally be his forever, just as it should’ve been. Smirking at your worn out body, he gave you one last kiss before throwing a blanket over you and stalking off to finish your turning ceremony.

[shadowsinger11]

John Wayne

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Summary: Christmas lights and stunning dresses are enough to spark a desire for a winter romance. But could you have possibly gotten the wrong idea?

Word Count: 2.5k

Genre: fluff, angst

A/N: I might've listened too much to Cigarettes After Sex while writing and this is totally not a song inspired fic, born purely as a result of my procrastination with other projects

Tag list: @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hufflexpuff @neovannii @jenniweasley @theweasleysredhair @harrysweasleys @loony-loopy-lupinn @whiz-bangs78 @slytherinsunrise @starlightweasley @ickle-ronniekins @gcdric @vivianweasley @aprilsrant @idont-knowrn @thisismynerdyself @wonderful-writer @feetoffthetablee @minty-malfoy @vogueweasley @elf-punk @oh-for-merlins-sake @heart-of-tempered-steel @spilled-prose @itseatyourdamnapples @aaannabbanana @l0ttadreamz @potter-redheads @pastanest | message me to be added/removed! (if you're in bold, I couldn't tag you)

You were staring at the crowded dance floor.

Beautiful ladies were being spun around by their partners, gorgeous gowns twirling and swooshing with their every elegant move. Everything was perfect about them; from their smile which lit up the Great hall more than the sparkling white Christmas trees, to the way their wrist gracefully twisted around their lover's neck, eyes piercing into theirs. The music was playing, slow and melancholic, exactly as it had been playing for the last few hours, luring lovers and encouraging them to bare their souls in front of each other.

And so they danced, connected by fearful desire, united by hope and bonded by love.

It was a kind of magic no one could truly understand, mysterious and private as though you weren't meant to witness it that night. So when among the sea of couples lips met in a silent oath, your heart began to ache, pleading you to leave.

It should have been you. It should have been you the receiver of those loving glances, of those kisses which made your head dizzy and caused your knees to buckle, but it would've been no problem as you would've had the arms of your lover to keep you secure. Then, as you'd dare to look up through your lashes, gorgeous eyes would be already on you, their obscure flame consoling you and pulling you in. And you'd simply fall, letting the warm, velvety darkness envelope you.

You flinched from the slight chill, rethinking your choice of a sleeveless dress. The enthusiasm with which you had picked it months ago now seemed utterly ridiculous and foolish as you were sitting a good distance away from where you believed you'd have been dancing your heart out. But, as you took one last look at your surroundings, only to spot your lovestruck friends indulging in the presence of their partners, the comfort of your pajamas seemed far more tempting than the unreasonably expensive piece of fabric which didn't even matter to you anymore.

It was pitifully funny how things could change in the blink of an eye, in a single breath; how fast you had gone from blooming with excitement to wondering how you were foolish enough to contribute to your own heartbreak.

"How come I'm just finding out about this?" Fred exclaimed, chasing after you down the stairs of the Astronomy tower. "I bet I wouldn't have known if it wasn't for those Ravenclaws chatting back in class."

"You were gonna know eventually, what's the deal?"

"My point is, why didn't you tell me and I had to hear from someone else?"

A group Hufflepuffs gave you questioning looks as you practically ran past them, nearly tripping over your own feet in the process, "You're making a fuss about nothing, stop acting entitled to every piece of information in my life!"

"McLaggen? That git?" Fred yelled in frustration and disbelief; he didn't at all acknowledge the small crowd which had gathered to observe the scene, nor did he care in the first place. He stopped in his tracks, gripping the wooden railing tight, knuckles turning white and jaw tense. "You cannot be serious."

Shocked faces now turned to you, and you desperately wished you could use reducio on yourself. Instead, opposite to what your consciousness was screaming at you, you dug your feet into the floor and shot Fred a stern look over your shoulder, "We're not discussing this right now. Besides, what's in it for you anyway? You're going with Angelina."

Had you kept walking, you would have missed the way Fred's chest was heaving with shallow, rapid breaths, and his face was more maroon than you had ever seen. And you? You couldn't quite breathe yourself.

A week ago your untamed happiness brightened every room and hallway; classes seemed to fly by, exams were over and the Yule ball was right around the corner. Your heart was ringing with joy as you were so looking forward to forgetting your troubles for just one night. 

In the midst of shining Christmas decorations and beautiful dresses a dreamy, yet pretty bold idea had begun to form in your head, an idea which Ginny and Hermione encouraged with their support and affirmations. Deep down you had started to believe Fred Weasley took an interest in you, harboured feelings for you even, and your ever-present goofy banter which contained far more flirting than what would be acceptable between two best friends, only fed your imagination and raised your hopes up.

You were aware you were the only one on the receiving end of Fred's teasing jokes, cheesy pickup lines and lingering stares which had you staying up an extra hour in your bed at night. Even his siblings shared the same opinion - there was no way on Godric's sword that a person who clearly wanted to be around you as often as possible and got his hands on you every chance he could, wouldn't be at least a little bit interested in you.

That's why you nearly broke down when exactly a week ago in the hallway Ron casually mentioned his older brother had just asked out Angelina.

The ground was pulled beneath your feet, vanishing along with your oblivious hopes. The news stung sharply, leaving a sour taste in your mouth; never had you believed you’d spend the few days before the ball stitching up your heart, and you were willing to do just about anything to forget about your humiliation. So when McLaggen invited you with an obnoxiously flirty note in Charms class, you didn’t hesitate much.

You could feel a wave of tears burning your eyes as you looked up to where Fred was standing. His face and ears were still as red as they could get, and his chest was vibrating with every shaky breath he took. Fury had disappeared from his eyes long ago, replaced with concern, regret and hurt which you couldn't quite place.

He climbed down the few remaining stairs.

"He's obnoxious! And beyond what's good for you!" Fred stated, though his voice now lacked power and slightly trembled, loud enough just for you to hear. "You're setting yourself up for a pretty bad night."

You swallowed down the dry lump in your throat and finally turned around to fully face him, looking him up and down.

"Seems like I have a terrible taste in men then."

A second glass of firewhiskey did nothing to burn down the growing turmoil in your stomach. You tapped the edge of the empty glass with your fingers and smiled at your friends who were visibly exhausted from dancing to upbeat songs for quite awhile now, but enjoying their time far too much to take a break. You admired their spirit - just because you weren't feeling your best, it didn't mean your friends didn't have the right to have fun.

However, the inevitable sense of regret lingered in your bones, and you found it hard to not focus on how the ball had gone wrong for you, in more ways than you had originally thought.

Even without Fred as your date, there was still a chance you'd have a good time. McLaggen could undoubtedly make it awkward to be around, and with the fact that your heart had recently been sliced open, you weren't sure how much of his ridiculous antics you could take. But at least he was trying; if you put aside his overbearing ego, you could see genuine effort into creating something romantic for both of you. It was going to be okay. Not necessarily what you desired, but somehow okay.

And that last bit of hope vanished the second you caught your former date snogging your crush's date in an empty classroom merely an hour ago.

You didn't know whether to cry or laugh at the universe's bitter joke, but the tears on your face as you ran down the hallway in your beautiful dress were eloquent.

A bitter, bitter joke.

You couldn't take it anymore. The charming smiles, sultry glances and stolen kisses you had been observing for the past hour were too much. And when another slow song made an appearance, you rose to your feet and headed towards the tall doors of the exit. Perhaps sleep would be a decent ending to your horrendous night.

You had barely made it out of the Great hall when loud footsteps echoed on your right.

"Bloody hell, I've been looking for you!" Fred said through heavy breaths, having run all the way to you as it seemed. His ginger hair had escaped its slicked look long ago, now too messy to fix despite his numerous attempts to smooth it back. His suit was no better, slightly wrinkled and shirt open to the third button.

"Why have you?" you asked and folded your arms, feeling a bit chilly in the hallway.

"McLaggen. About him," Fred sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry for having to say it, but I just saw him-"

"I know."

Fred frowned in confusion.

"You do?"

It was your turn to let out an exasperated sigh as you looked down at your feet, "Yes. A while ago."

Fred's features softened.

"I'm sorry."

You barely found it in you to respond with a weak smile, "It's alright. I guess I was right. I do have a terrible taste in men." Then you gave Fred a sympathetic look, "I'm sorry for Angelina too, it's horrible she did this to you."

Your friend allowed the ghost of a smirk to appear on his lips and he shoved hands into his pockets, "I'm not really affected by it in all honesty," he shrugged. "I'm rather angry about the fact that the prat thought he could pull off something like this and get away with it."

Fred's heart ached at the sight of your slumped figure and glossy eyes; he hated himself for having contributed to the failure of the event you were expecting with so much hope. He tilted his head to the side, attempting to meet your gaze.

"I'd gladly prank the crap outta the git until he doesn't even dare to show up to classes… But for now is there a way for me to make your night any less terrible, love?"

You couldn't help but giggle at the thought of McLaggen skipping classes out of sheer fear of Fred. But then your thoughts wandered to the way Angelina was practically straddling his lap, and you wondered if Fred had been doing the same all this time unbeknownst to you; if right after a flirty joke sent your way he'd go to an empty classroom and kiss Angelina with the passion you had just witnessed.

The image of Angelina's lips on Fred's caused you to become nauseous and you attempted to swallow down that lump again.

"No," you replied. "But please, tell me one thing. What was that entire tantrum for?"

Fred didn't really seem taken aback by your question, realizing you'd eventually bring it up. He furrowed a brow, carefully thinking of an answer, and wettened his lips.

“Perhaps it would be inappropriate of me to say it- selfish even, but the mere thought of you being in the embrace of someone, especially with that someone being a foul git, caused me to get unreasonably angry.” Guilt was seeping into his every word and he bitterly chuckled to himself. “Ironic, isn’t it? Attempting to spare you heartbreak by being the reason for it.”

He gently took your hand and looked into your eyes, remorse swimming in his own, "I had no right to treat you the way I did. I'm terribly sorry for being controlling and you absolutely do not have to forgive me. Just know that I truly regret my actions; I never intended to hurt you."

His words were a feather-light caress to your wounded heart and you shuddered. You couldn't stay mad at him. Reciprocated feelings or not, he was still your best friend and you wouldn't let that go.

"Apology accepted," you gave his hand a light squeeze and Fred beamed, the entire hallway lighting up with him. Dread released your chest of its merciless grasp and you could finally breathe. However, one question never ceased to haunt you. "But I just need to know…” you began, absentmindedly playing with his fingers, “...why were you so upset to begin with?"

Fred's shoulders immediately stiffened and he averted his gaze from you in an attempt to come up with a reasonable reply. His jaw was clenched, and his adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. "I didn't want you to go with him." He stated simply. "Not when you could've easily gone with me instead."

You froze.

"What do you mean?” you asked timidly, shifting your weight from foot to foot. “What about Angelina?"

Fred only shook his head, fighting back a grin.

"Darling, Angelina was never the catch."

The air was knocked out of your lungs.

You could only stare at Fred wide-eyed, and though his expression was unreadable, maroon had begun to crawl its way up to his ears and cheeks again.

"I'm sorry for putting you through all this," Fred spoke softly as he pressed a kiss to your knuckles, a kiss that awakened the butterflies within you. "I was really too much of a wuss to confess to you and settled for this instead."

"I guess that makes us two," you smiled sincerely, perhaps for the first time that night. Fred returned your smile with a grin, and asked.

"How can I make up to you for this oh-so-awful mess?"

"Dance with me," you said without skipping a beat. "That's what you owe me at least. Let's finally do what we both wanted."

Fred's expression became serious as he intertwined his fingers with yours, and led you into the direction of the Great hall, from which music could still faintly be heard.

"With the greatest of pleasure, my love."

Most people had already gone to bed, leaving just a few couples and you to drench in enchanted serenity. Fred's arms around you felt like home as you both swayed to the soft rhythm of the song, one of the many to follow, but his racing heartbeat under your palm caused your own pulse to speed up as well. 

You looked up at your lover through your lashes, gorgeous eyes already on you, their obscure flame consoling you and pulling you in. There was an odd, enigmatic allure that Fred possessed, and even after years of knowing this man, it only caused you to fall further into the velvety hell you didn't wish to escape from. 

And when his lips collided with yours, they tasted sweeter than the forbidden fruit.

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!

[hangovercurse]

Masterpiece

You and Colson have always had an unspoken agreement about what your relationship is, but one night might change everything.

Request: Hi, thank you for your imagines, love, they're incredible! I had an idea. Maybe when him and reader are getting close he gives a tour of his tattoos to them, cause the reader is very curious?

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of sex (nothing explicit but it’s there), a lot of touching

A/N: I had to do so much research for this, I’ve spent the last 48 hours staring at pictures of his chest. I know I didn’t include all of his tattoos, but he hasn’t talked about some of them or even shown them all that much.

Word Count: 3744

The only sounds in the room were your heavy breaths, mixing with his. You took a moment to compose yourself, the adrenaline still running through your body, before sitting up, bringing the comforter with you to cover your bare chest.

You scanned the room, looking for where your clothes had ended up in Colson’s mad rush to undress you. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Colson asked, his eyes wandering your body.

Heat rushed to your cheeks. You turned to look at him, a small smile playing on your face. “Careful there, someone’ll think you have feelings.”

He chuckled, reaching out to grab your waist and pulling you back down to the bed. You laid in his arms, head resting against his chest. “You should stay tonight.” He mumbled, fingers running up and down your arm.

You hummed, “Are you asking me to stay?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes, and he swore he almost fell in love right then and there.

You had never stayed the night before, you always just went to his house, fucked, and then left. Staying the night seemed too personal for what you were doing, two lonely souls finding solace in the dark but too afraid to face each other in the light.

“Will you stay the night?” He asked, fighting the urge to press a small kiss to your nose. You nodded, shifting so you were cuddled further into him, your left hand tracing the 1990 tattoo that spread across the left side of his chest.

His skin felt like it was on fire underneath your touch. “If you keep doing that, we’re not gonna be sleeping anytime soon.” He looked down at you, a smirk on his face. You let out a small laugh through your nose, dropping your hand to lay on his chest.

“Sorry.” You mumbled, “I just think they’re really pretty.”

“I think you’re really pretty.” You rolled your eyes, but a smile found its way to your lips. “Lemme show you all of them.” He sat up, pulling you with him. He reached over and flipped on the lamp beside his bed before pointing to the Est. 1990 tattoo that you had been tracing. “This one is pretty self-explanatory.” You giggled lightly.

“The raven I got done to cover up an older tattoo a while ago. I wanted something that would change the way everything looked.” You reached up, about to trace the dagger that went through the raven, before pulling your hand away. Colson smiled, grabbing your hand gently and pulling it up to his chest, silently asking you to trace the ink.

“Why the dagger?” Your voice was soft, but sincere.

He chuckled; you felt his chest move under your hand. “Thought it looked cool. I don’t know, the whole point of the raven was to be a change, so I guess it kinda represents killing an older version of me.”

You nodded, your hand moving down to the hourglass that rested below the claws. “That one just kind of looked cool. And it’s a reminder that we’re all living on limited time, so we should make the most of it.” You bit your lip, smiling at the thoughtfulness he put into all of them.

“And the spider?” You giggled, tracing his nipple and making him flinch.

He grabbed your hand, a tight-lipped smile on his face. “It goes with the bus.” He moved your hand to the red double decker bus beside the spider web. “Have I ever told you about the time I got hit by a bus in Manchester?”

Your eyes went wide, looking up at him with concern. He laughed, “It was like, 8 years ago. Don’t worry.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes dramatically, “I wasn’t worried.”

He laughed before continuing, “I got hit by this bus while crossing the street looking for weed at like 7 am. The windshield shattered like a fucking spiderweb; it was crazy. And then I just got back up.” You traced the stick figure that was flying off the bus.

“Sometimes I wonder how you’re still alive.” You joked, your voice still quiet.

He watched you intently, taking in the movement of your fingers around his rib cage. “I do too.”

“I mean, I’m happy you’re still alive, its just a little crazy.”

“Careful there, someone’ll think you have feelings.” He echoed a joke you made earlier. You pushed on his chest lightly, smiling. “This one,” he moved your hand to sit just under his armpit, “is the final scene from The Giving Tree."

“That was my favorite book as a kid.” You mumbled; your attention fully focused on the tattoo that you missed Colson’s adoring smile. “Why’d you get it?”

He was quiet for a moment, and you looked up to catch his pale blue eyes. “At one point in my life, it felt like I was giving away every part of me. I felt like the tree, I still do sometimes.”

You nodded, still holding his gaze. You leaned down and pressed a small kiss to the tattoo. This was the most intimate thing you and Colson have ever done, even more so than sex. He was opening up parts of himself to you, something you both had tried to avoid until now.

You looked back at the ink, smiling as your eye caught the tattoo on the underside of his right arm. “Jessica Rabbit, really?” You giggled.

He chuckled, raising his arm to show you the full tattoo. “She’s hot, what can I say?” You rolled your eyes. “You’ve never seen a cartoon character and thought, “damn, he’s sexy as hell”?”

You shook your head, holding back a laugh. “I wouldn’t get him tattooed on me.” He pulled you into his chest, arms wrapping around you. “I wanna keep talking about your tattoos.” You whined, looking up at him.

“I was trying to enjoy the moment, but okay.” He made a face at you and you giggled, leaning into his chest and resting there for a few moments, basking in his presence. You had been scared of moments like these with Colson, and you knew he was too. After Megan, he’d had issues trusting anyone, not that you blame him. But then he’d found you, and you had trust issues of your own, so naturally you two attracted each other while simultaneously keeping each other at arm’s length. But now the distance was closing ever so slightly.

You leaned off Colson, suddenly aware of the change occurring. “I gotta pee.” You mumbled, climbing off the bed, and walking to the en suite bathroom.

“Your ass looks cute.” He called after you, and you blushed when you remembered you were still nude. You took your time in the bathroom, sorting through your thoughts and reminding yourself that you and Colson only existed after 9pm.

When you walked back into the room, you grabbed your panties and pulled them up your legs, then threw Colson’s shirt over your bare chest. He groaned, “you just wanna cover everything up, don’t you?”

You rolled your eyes and climbed back into his bed. He was leaning against the headboard, so you moved to do the same, but he grabbed you and pulled you so you were straddling his lap, facing his chest. His left hand grasped your right, pressing a soft kiss to its top before moving it to his right arm.

“This one reminds me how to get home, literally.” He rested your hand on his 71 North tattoo, “but it’s also a reminder to stay grounded. Always remember where I come from, you know?”

You nodded, tracing each letter and number. “Same thing for the 216 East.”

“What about the compass star?” You whispered, hand moving down to his elbow to trace the seven-pointed star.

“I was gonna get there, don’t rush me.” He joked, pulling his right arm across his chest so you could see the ink better. “It has an E at all the points, because all roads lead back to Cleveland, which is East.”

“That was really cheesy.” You giggled, looking up to his face. He rolled his eyes, his right hand grabbing your free hand and intertwining your fingers. He pulled both your hands up and out, forcing you closer to him. Your faces were close, too close. You were worried he was going to kiss you, and more worried that you were gonna let him. He seemed to realize what he was about to do moments before your lips touched and pulled away, letting your hands go.

You looked down, both of you pretending that didn’t just almost happen. “What does this one say?” You whispered, pointing to the text on his right forearm.

He looked where you were pointing, and smiled sadly. “RIP B. Arnold. I got it after my grandma died. She was probably one of the best people I’ve ever known. She was so open and unjudgmental. She was really special.”

You frowned, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea…” You trailed off, still running your eyes over the letters.

“It’s okay, I got this done a long time ago.” His voice was soft, his eyes watching your face as you studied his painted skin. “But thank you.”

You were quiet for a long time, eyes moving over the other tattoos on his right arm before wandering back to his chest. Your pointer finger ran over the Locals Only tattoo and the Anarchy symbol on his stomach, before moving lower to the “Almost Famous” letters. “If you go any lower I’m gonna get way too distracted to tell you about the rest.” He joked, but you knew he was a little serious.

“That’s the second time you’ve threatened to have sex with me and not followed through. It’s almost like you don’t even want to anymore.” You teased, hands running back up to his chest and resting on his shoulders.

He raised an eyebrow at you, as if you challenged him. “Do you want a tour of my tattoos or not?” You nodded, a laugh falling from your lips. Colson shook his head lightly, looking down at your body in his shirt. “You are something else.” He mumbled under his breath. You were pretty sure you weren’t supposed to hear it, so you pretended you didn’t. You also pretended your heart didn’t flutter at the words.

You moved back from him, eyes scanning his rib cage. “What about this one?” You asked, pointing at the portrait of a man holding a sign that read “Keep your coins, I want change.” You traced it, smiling, “I like it.”

“That’s one of Banksy’s works. The political street artist?” You nodded your head, letting Colson know that you had heard of them. “I thought it was really smart and I like what it means a lot.”

You smiled up at him, admiring the way he lit up when he talked about issues that are important to him. “I like it, too.” Your hand moved up, finding the cursive name a few inches above. You were hesitant to trace it, knowing it bordered on the line of too personal.

“That one’s got a pretty obvious meaning.” He chuckled, seeing where your attention was focused. You smiled, nodding. “You should meet her one day.” He said without thinking.

Your eyes snapped up to his, and you could see the wheels turning in his brain as he realized what he said, “or not, if you don’t- I mean, you don’t have- never mind. Forget I said anything.”

You found his stuttering endearing. “If we ever get to that point, I’d love to meet her.” You whispered, trying to hide the smile that nipped at your lips. Stop it. The voice in your head screamed. This would never work out. You’re just going to get hurt.

Your hand rested on his upper arm, where he had an image of a building with an eye above it. “1984, huh?” You asked, the smile breaking through.

Colson couldn’t help the way he looked at you, stars in his eyes. “You’re one of the only people to ever get it without me telling them.”

“I didn’t expect you to be an Orwell kind of guy.” You chuckled, tracing the eye with your thumb. “It’s really good. I love the cracks in the building and all the shading. It’s beautiful.” Your voice held so much awe, Colson had to stop himself from grabbing your face and kissing you until your lips bled.

He hadn’t felt like this since, well since Megan. And that scared him like hell considering how messed up he was after she left. He’d been afraid to let anyone else in after that, which is why he was so grateful he found you. You were in the same position, you wanted someone to fill the space in your bed but nothing more. But as he spent more time with you, Colson realized he was starting to want more than that.

“I really liked the idea of the people versus this big overbearing power. Like I wanna believe that people still have a say in their lives, that I still have control over my life. Even when it feels like I don’t.” Despite all the stupid shit he did, Colson was incredibly intelligent, and it showed in moments like this.

“That’s amazing.” You breathed, still tracing the cracks in the bricks. A small blush made its way to his cheeks, and he turned his head away from you to hid it.

You flipped his arm to look at the inside, finding the words “Kiss the sky” in black ink. You leaned down, pressing a light kiss to the words. Colson’s head snapped towards you at the sensation, a small chuckle leaving his lips when he realized what tattoo you were kissing. “Cute.” He commented.

You smiled, lips traveling down his arm to the black heart. “Let me guess, you got this one to represent your cold, black heart.” You chuckled, rolling your eyes as he frowned, playfully.

“You’re so mean.” He whispered, biting his lip. “I did, actually, but you make it sound lame. I wanted to say something about the industry with it, how cold it made me.”

You nodded, smiling. “That’s not lame.” You paused, considering your next words. “Do you really feel like that? Like your soul is so dark and cold that there’s no more color inside?”

He studied you, the way you slowly traced the outline of the anatomical heart. “Sometimes, but then I look at Casie or Slim, or any of the people who I love, and who love me, and it gets a little easier.”

“You’re lucky,” you whispered, “to have so many people who love you. People that can pull you out of your head.”

You sighed, moving your attention from the tattoo, and shaking yourself out of your thoughts. His hand reached for your jaw, trying to hold your face but you moved away, looking at his rose tattoo. “This one’s pretty cool.”

He had to lean forward to see which one you were focused on. “I got that one after Bloom. It’s all about becoming a flower from a bud.”

“Yeah, it’s really good.” You sighed, moving your hand up to a red line near his heart, a tattoo of a cut. “What’s this one?”

He threw his head backwards, a laugh leaving his lips. “It’s so stupid now. I got it because I felt like someone ripped my heart out a few years ago. I thought it was really smart at the time but I ended up getting over it and now I’m left with this stupid tattoo.”

You giggled, “I don’t think its that stupid.” Emphasizing the word “that.”

“Here,” he sat up, moving you off his lap and leaning forward so you could see his back, “this is a cool one.”

You had seen the tattoos on his back a few times, but you’d never really gotten to study it. “This is beautiful.” You murmured, reaching out to touch it gently. He flinched under your soft touch, goosebumps forming on his skin. “Sorry.” You whispered, removing your hand.

“It’s okay, your hand’s just cold.” He chuckled. “It’s Dali’s Temptation of Saint Anthony.” He started, and your hand went back to wandering his back. “A lot of people interpret it differently, but I like the idea that the man with the cross is repenting for his sins. Reminds me that we always have a chance to become better people. We can always repent.”

You took in his words, not saying anything. You traced the cross in the figure’s hand, a small smile on your face. “And then, the MGK, of course.”

You rolled your eyes, “Only you would get your own initials tattooed across your back.” You chuckled, jokingly. “It’s really well done.” You reached up and rubbed his shoulders, squeezing gently. “Someone’s tense.” You whispered, feeling the stiffness of his shoulders.

He groaned as you gently massaged his shoulders, moving to sit behind him with your knees on either side of his waist. He leaned his head back onto your shoulders, looking up at you. “You are too good to me.” He mumbled, pressing a kiss to your neck.

You chuckled, leaning down to graze his lips, “I’m not doing this for free.” You mumbled, connecting your lips in a hot, needy kiss. He shifted so that he could twist his upper body to face you, taking your bottom lip between his teeth. You moaned into his mouth, hands moving up to his neck and pulling him closer to you.

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. “I thought you wanted to see the rest of my tattoos?” He asked, a smirk on his face.

You rolled your eyes pushing him away from you and moving back to his left side, sitting with your legs tucked under you. “I do, but I can’t help that I’m in your bed and you look fuckable right now.” You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his neck, just below his ear.

“Let me finish the tour and then maybe I can help you with that.” He rubbed your bare thigh as you sucked on his neck, leaving a mark.

You whined when your lips left his skin, a pout on your face. “What’s this one, then?” You asked, hand tracing the two X’s on his ear.

“It’s part of the MGK brand. C’mon, you should know this.” He laughed, obviously messing with you. “I don’t know it just kind of became our symbol after 19XX was created. It’s the family.”

You smiled, pressing a kiss to the black ink. “Cute.”

He blew air out of his nose, hands moving to the sheets that were covering his lower half. You raised an eyebrow at him, tilting your head. “I have two more that I wanna show you on my legs, get your mind out of the gutter.” You giggled as he pushed the fabric to the side, exposing his right leg.

You noticed the obvious tattoo, the marijuana leaf on his right knee. “That one’s really creative.” You said sarcastically. He chuckled, watching you trace the words around it. “Into the woods I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.” You read the tattoo out loud, biting your lip to hide the grin on your face.

“John Muir. I thought it was really meaningful. I keep digging my own holes in order to crawl out of the ones I’m already in. But I think it’s made me know myself better.” You looked up at him, your eyes shining bright. His eyes met yours briefly, and then flittered away, cheeks turning pink.

“Okay, last one. It’s not nearly as cool as some of the other ones, but I think you’ll appreciate it.” He pulled his knee towards his chest, angling the limb so you could see the tattoo on the inside of his ankle. It was two stick figures, one with a mohawk.

You smiled, “Radiohead but make it Colson Baker.” You mumbled, shaking your head with a giggle.

He nodded, “I was fucked up when I got this one.” He laughed, “But it’s kinda grown on me.”

“I was expecting some big lead up to like, the final tattoo that was gonna be so special. Instead, you give me two stick figures and the word punk on your ankle.” You chuckled, seeing the small pout on his face. “I’m kidding.” You laughed, moving to sit on his lap again, your hand resting on his chest.

“Thank you,” you whispered, hands running over his chest, “for showing me all these.”

“I’ve never really explained all of them to anyone before. Like people can see them and I’ve talked about some of them in interviews, but nothing like this before.” His hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer to him.

You looked down, biting your lip. “Why’d you show me?”

He bent his head down to catch your eyes, nose rubbing against yours. “Cause I wanted you to know.” You smiled, meeting his gaze. Your hand reached to the back of his neck, pulling him enough that his lips crashed into yours.

You were expecting the kiss to be sloppy, hungry, but instead it was unlike any kiss you’d ever shared with him. It was sweet, soft, and oddly personal. It said all the things Colson was too scared to speak.

You pulled away, confusion lingering behind your eyes. What does he mean? What do I mean? What are we doing?

His eyes seemed to hold all the answers. I’m terrified to want you, but I can’t stop myself.

You leaned back into him, kissing him softly. His hands hesitantly ran up your sides before moving to your cheeks, cradling your face in his hands. “Let’s get to sleep.” You whispered after separating, a smile on our face. You gave his lips a quick peck before climbing off of him.

He turned the lamp beside him off, encasing you in darkness. You laid down on the bed, facing away from him. Moments later he settled down, facing your back. He reached out and pulled your hip so that you were facing him. You got the hint and flipped over fully, a grin on your lips. Silently, he pulled you closer to him, holding you tightly as you drifted off to sleep for the first time together.

[slasherscream]

All I Wanted

pairing:  Stu Macher x reader x Billy Loomis

summary: you’ve been with stu for awhile now and it’s a dream. your relationship is everything you’ve ever wanted... until you realize his best friend, billy, is in love with him. worse than that stu might be in love with him too. 

You didn’t realize it all at once. However you’d imagined the way someone would act in a relationship while being madly in love with someone else wasn’t the way Stu acted. He’d been the one to ask you out, and it was sudden. He went from being a friend of a friend - someone you nodded to in passing at parties - to a constant presence overnight. That was just the way Stu did things, all at once or not at all. You had been wary of his newfound position as your personal satellite. It was overwhelming, frankly. But there was only so long you could keep up your polite attempts at distance and rejection. Like a determined, yapping dog he chased after you until you had no choice but to hear him out, if only to get some peace and quiet. 

It started as one date, just so you could say you’d given him a fair chance. Then you went on another date, because the first date had actually been fun. Eventually you stopped keeping track of how many dates you let Stu drag you on. His personality didn’t change, he was still a little brash and loud. A party animal that could wear out even other energetic extroverts... but you discovered there was more to him than the way he acted in large group hangouts or wild ragers. He softened when it was just the two of you. Like a talented actor that takes a deep breathe once they’re off stage, done playing a draining character for an eager and judgmental audience. 

That shift, however slight it was, was the thing that won you over. The reason why you kept saying yes to dates, laughed when he tossed you onto his shoulder, let him pull you into his lap with little more than a bashful smile. It was the reason why, after a few months of this gentle drifting around one another, you asked him, “are we... together together?” And it was the reason why you smiled so wide he couldn’t give you a proper kiss when he said yes. 

Being with Stu was a bit of a package deal in that you also got his best friend Billy through sheer proximity. At first you didn’t really talk to each other. After your relationship with Stu became official it felt weird to not talk to one another, considering how much you saw each other. Billy was not like Stu. He became a person in your life gradually. Your relationship growing from half-assed greetings from Billy and awkward waves from you; to asking each other about your respective weekends; to studying together for shared classes; to talking adamantly about movies; to saying hello with hugs and smiles; to hanging out with one another even if Stu wasn’t around- which was rare but made you smile nonetheless as Billy was a man who kept his circle small, to say the least. 

Around the same time that you realize that you’re in love with Stu you also realize you aren’t the only one. You’d like to think of yourself as an observant person but even a blind man could see the way Billy looked at Stu. You were actually embarrassed that you hadn’t seen it in the first place. The way he searched for Stu whenever he entered a room. The way he’d stifle smirks at (terrible) jokes he’d reach out and hit the blond for. The way Billy never shrugged Stu off whenever he'd inevitably drape his body over Billy’s in some -  obnoxious - way. The way he let Stu talk through his favorite scenes in movies without telling him to shut up... usually. You noticed all these little things, your gut twisting a little with each observation. 

You found yourself looking up at Stu during a movie night, watching the TV throw neon color against his face instead of the TV itself, and the understanding that you loved him washed over you warmly and easily. The feeling was a sharp contrast to the screams of the character on the screen being brutally murdered. Your eyes just happened to drift away from your boyfriend’s face to behind him, where Billy was sitting. He too was watching Stu instead of the movie. You’d seen the look on his face plenty, though you hadn’t seen it on his face in particular before. Or maybe you had, you thought to yourself, lead settling in your stomach and throat, you just hadn’t known it. Hadn’t wanted to know. 

If there was anything Billy was good at it was keeping his feelings close to his chest, never revealing his cards. You made eye contact for just a moment before he hastily looked away but it was enough. You knew without a doubt, in that one moment of vulnerability that one of Billy’s secrets was that he was in love with Stu. 

You let the new knowledge settle in your mind for a long while. Kept watching their interactions, but with a new understanding. Which is how you came to an even worst conclusion. That Stu was in love with Billy too. 

If you’d felt blind before you didn’t know what you were now. It was so obvious. Stu couldn’t keep a secret for the life of him. He chased after Billy the way he chased after you. Hungry for the slightest bit of attention or acknowledgement, lighting up like the sun when it was given. It would’ve made you smile if it didn’t break your heart. 

You didn’t realize you’d come to a decision until you’d already begun the actions to support it. Distancing yourself. Cancelling dates. Shying away from a hug, and then a kiss, and then nearly everything. Not picking up calls or returning texts. You believed firmly in communication in a relationship up until this point but you didn’t know how to say I can’t watch you be in love with someone else when I’m so in love with you I don’t know what to do with myself. You didn’t know what bad rom-com to watch that would help you figure out the right words to tell him so you didn’t tell him anything at all. 

You don’t know why you thought someone as stubborn as Stu would just accept the slow detangling of your lives that you were trying to achieve. 

“What’s going on?” He asked without hesitation, ambushing you outside of your last class of the day. You sighed and dragged him to the classroom next door that was open but thankfully empty. 

Leaning against the teacher’s desk you buried your head in your hands, throat already tight and eyes already stinging. “I think we should break-up.”

“What?” You didn’t have to look up to know the crestfallen face he was making, he was always so expressive you could hear it perfectly in his voice alone.

“I want to breakup.” You repeated, willing your voice not to break. 

“Why? What did I do wrong? I’m sorry - whatever I did I swear I’m sorry,” you felt a hand on you then, trying to pry yours away from your face, trying to drag you into his arms and you flung yourself out of his reach. In doing so you caught a glimpse at his face and your chest went tight. He looked seconds away from begging and you knew you couldn’t withstand that. Knew it would break your heart more than it was already broken and you didn’t know how that could be. Didn’t know how the ache in your chest could get worse but you could feel it already. “Baby please let’s just talk about this-”

“I have to go. I have to go, I have to go-” You shoved past him to leave the room and ignored his cries for you to come back, slow down, please come back - 

You sat in your car, head against the steering wheel for a long time before you drove home. You wanted to wait until you stopped crying to drive. 

You didn't have to turn off your phone. It rang so much that eventually the battery died and you didn't even have to get out of bed. You laid there still for hours, not sure you were feeling anything at all until you heard your window sliding open. You scrambled for the light on your nightstand, switching it on in a panic only to deflate when you saw it was only Billy crawling through your window.

He looked absolutely livid. 

“Hi Billy,” you managed, even though you didn’t want to see anyone right now. Especially not either of the boys. 

“What the fuck?” He spat. 

“I’m doing wonderfully thank you for asking. How are you?” 

“Don’t be cute you know why I’m here.” He stalked across your room and loomed over your bedside, clutching the headboard so hard his knuckles were white. You looked at his hands for a long moment and then up at his face, so close to yours you were breathing the same air. 

“Sorry. Sit down with me please.” You patted the space beside you and waited for him to give in despite his anger. Eventually he climbed onto your bed, with his shoes on but you didn’t scold him like you usually would considering the circumstances. 

“I broke up with Stu, as you know,” you started.

“Is that what you’re calling that bullshit you pulled?”

You sat for a long moment, gathering your thoughts. You didn’t want this conversation to last for long. Just seeing Billy and having to think more on your unfortunate love life was like digging your fingers into a festering wound. 

“Do you want to know why?” Before he could answer you continued, “You’re in love with him and he’s in love with you and I can’t get in the way of that.”

Silence settled in the room, oppressive. You weren’t uncomfortable though. You allowed it to be quiet for a moment, letting your words sink in. “You’re in love with each other and I’m not mad at either of you. How could I be? I’m the one who came into your relationship. Before me it was just the two of you.”

“But just because I’m not mad doesn’t mean I can hang around and watch you two want each other so...so much,” your voice breaks and there’s the all-too familiar pressure behind your eyes that you can’t help, “it’s too much for me, Billy, and it’s not fair. Not to any of us.” 

You move so that you’re no longer sitting beside him, but in front of him, and you take his hand and clutch it between your own. You’re surprised you’re not met with resistance. His face is carefully blank but you think you might’ve shocked him. You’re not sure with what. The fact that you know he’s in love with Stu, the fact that Stu is in love with him too, or maybe he hadn’t even known he was in love with Stu. You think it’d be easy to be in love with someone for so long you don’t even know it’s love. It just becomes your default state, that love. 

“I want you two to be happy together. I mean that. Don’t pretend you don’t love him and don’t doubt that he loves you. He does, Billy. I promise he does. You should see the way he looks at you.” You smile sadly at him and squeeze his hand. He looks down at your hand and his grip tightens ever so slightly. 

“I’m stepping aside because it’s the right thing to do. God knows how long you’ve been in love with each other.”

“He loves you.” He finally gets out. The words sound punched out of him.

“Maybe,” you shrug, “But if he does it’s not as much as he loves you. Can’t be. You’re his best friend and his.... well, we’ve only been together a few months. Not even a year yet. That’s nothing compared to the two of you.” 

“But you love him.” A simple statement but it makes you clench your teeth together so hard it hurts. 

“I do and I also love you. It wouldn’t feel right... to stay with him and keep him away from you. Or keep him from having who he really wants.” 

You look at each other for a long while and when you can’t stand it anymore and your tears finally start to fall you throw yourself forward and hug him as tight as you can. You think it’ll be the last time you hug him. Maybe the last time you’ll see him, other than in passing. And you do love him, even though this moment hurts and it might hurt for a long time. Some things and people are more important than hurting. Than getting the things you want, no matter how bad you may want them. 

He slowly wraps his arms around you and then all at once he hugs you back just as tightly. You stay hugging one another for a long time and when you pull away he slides off your bed and leaves out through your window without another word. 

You lay back down in your bed and don’t go to sleep. 

It’s a week until you see them both again. A week of forcing yourself to leave the house as you still have school and work and other life obligations, broken heart not withstanding. 

Despite the fact that you go to the same campus and share a few classes you hope against hope that you might avoid them for awhile. You resign yourself to knowing that you’ll have to see them again at some point, of course, but you tell yourself it doesn’t have to be that bad. It will be between classes. In passing at parties. At favorite shared eateries. Nothing you wouldn’t be able to handle with a polite wave or tense smile. You wouldn’t even have to say hello, they’d understand. And as strange as it may seem you hope that when you do eventually see them around you’ll see them together. Holding hands. Smiling at one another. Maybe sharing a kiss. As much as it would hurt it would also warm you. Let you know that the pain you were feeling did them some good. Two of your most important people. That they were happy together could be enough for you, more than enough. 

(You hoped that the longer you repeated that mantra the more true it would become.)

They drag you into a classroom. The same one you dragged Stu into the day you broke up with him. You have to laugh at the poetry of it even as you instantly feel like drooping in on yourself at having to see them so soon. You were just walking past absentmindedly when a hand wrapped around your bicep and yanked you through the doorway. You knew at the touch alone that it was Billy. 

You forced yourself to not look as empty as you felt and instead, with herculean effort, you settle on trying to look fed up, “Really?”

“You wouldn’t pick up our calls.”

“You haven’t even tried to call me!” You protest.

“There wouldn’t have been a point. Your stubborn ass wouldn’t have picked up.” Billy smirks and you’re very much about to address that statement when arms wrap around your middle and pull you back snugly into a warm chest. 

You shut your eyes tight, feeling pained at the familiar embrace and stifle a wounded noise. Just barely. In the quiet of the room it’s still audible and it makes you feel pathetic. “Please let me go, Stu.” 

You want to sound firm but you just sound like you’re begging, seconds away from crying.  

“No,” He says simply although his voice is heavy with an emotion you can’t place, “You’d make a mad dash for the door and we’d actually like to manage to talk to you.” 

“Will you let me go if I promise not to run?” You bargain, wanting him to stop touching you so it will be easier to forget the feeling. 

You feel the sigh he lets out but he releases you begrudgingly and you step further away from him, not turning around to look at him. This puts you further into Billy’s space, who had apparently moved closer but you mind that proximity far less. 

“What would you like to talk about?” 

With a gentle but firm grip you’re turned around to face Stu and you feel breathless looking up at his face and seeing how softly he’s looking down at you. It’s an expression he’s made before but so much more intense it makes you freeze up. He let’s go of your waist to hold your face with both hands, making sure you can’t look away from him.

“I do love Billy,” you close your eyes, wondering why he’s telling you that when you know, god do you know but he shakes your head gently and chides you, “hey no -  don’t do that. Look at me and let me finish, babe. Okay?” 

He waits for you to nod before he keeps talking, “But I love you too - and I don’t love you less, either. I might love you different but not less, and I’m sorry that I ever let you think that. Sorry that I made you feel like... like you had to-” 

“I didn’t feel like I had to do anything. I wanted to leave. I want you two together. I want you happy.” You interrupt. 

Billy steps further into your space, and it feels like there’s a moment of hesitation, and then he’s wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you backwards into his hold, “You’re not listening.”

“You make me happy. You make me so happy and I’m so in love with you it’s ridiculous. When you were avoiding me. When you stopped talking to me and started to shut me out I felt like I was going fucking crazy.” The way he looks at you makes you believe him and you feel guilty for the way you’d gone about things. You wish you’d ripped off the band-aid instead of peeling it off. 

“I don’t want you to step aside. I don’t want you playing the martyr and being alone.” Stu says firmly, more serious than you’ve ever seen him. There’s a set to his jaw that’s alien and an intensity behind his eyes you’ve only ever seen small glimpses of. You feel so seen by his gaze you start to squirm. 

“But you love each other. You deserve-” You argue.

“We love you, too.” Billy interrupts before his lips find the space behind your ear and kisses it gently, making your brain short circuit. 

“What?”

“You heard him - we love you too. As much as we love each other.” Stu says, voice for the first time sounding happy, normal, teasing. 

“But- “ You sound weaker now, you don’t want to argue this. There’s a hopeful thing rising up in your chest that you try to ruthlessly shove down. But Stu is looking at you like you hung the moon and Billy is wrapped around you like you might slip away any moment and he’s trying to convince you to stay just by holding you. 

And suddenly for the first time since that last movie night you’re thinking about what you want again and... and you want Stu so much it hurts; and you want Billy too, who, now that you’re thinking about it, you might also be in love with. Just a little.

(You would have fought anyone else for Stu, friendship status or knowing him longer be damned. Because you love him, you love Stu in a way you’d never thought you could love someone. But you love Billy too. Love Billy enough to step aside. Love them both enough to let them have each other. Love them both enough to be alone just so they can be together.)

“We want to be with you,” Billy says, “I want to be with you. I’ve never had... no one has ever done something for me like what you did. No one but Stu has ever given that much of a damn about whether or not I’m happy, and I love you. ” With that he grabs your hair and moves your face out of Stu’s grip, tilts your head back far enough until he can place his lips over yours. 

You melt into the kiss faster than you’d like. Even as you do that- enjoying the way Billy’s kiss doesn’t let you hesitate or give you a second to breathe-  you find yourself reaching forward blindly until you grip onto Stu and tug him closer to the both of you. When the front of his body is plastered to the front of your own, his hands moving to grip your hips tightly you moan into Billy’s mouth and Stu laughs and it sounds relieved and like he might cry. You reach down to cover one of his hands with your own and squeeze. He buries his face in the side of your neck and sighs happily. 

When Billy pulls away your lips are tingling and the kiss was so filled with a simmering heat you don’t even say something snarky enough to wipe the smirk off his face. It’s sweeter than his usual smirk anyway and you chase after his lips just to drag the bottom one with a playful bite. He takes a sharp breath and his hand tightens in your hair.

“Three musketeers, how about it Y/N?” Stu says from where he places open mouthed kisses in all the places he knows make you shiver.

“Yes.” You laugh and maybe start to cry but they’re both there to hold you and wipe away your tears. 

You’re not crying because you’re sad. You’re crying because you’re overwhelmed at the fact that you’re getting all you’ve ever wanted. 

[throughtheinterstices]

the way they loved volleyball

❝ you never loved volleyball. but you loved the two idiots who did. and they loved you the way they loved volleyball. ❞

pairing. miya a. x fem!reader, miya o. x fem!reader 

genre. fluff

word count. 2.3k words

a/n. this came to me when i was thinking of how furudate-sensei described atsumu with the word “love” and how osamu didn’t pursue volleyball. it made me realize how different the twins loved the sport. reblogs are appreciated. 

HAIKYUU MASTERLIST • AO3

You

Ever since, you and the Miya twins had always been close. Growing up, the boys would try various things, experiment with all sorts of activities and hobbies, and meet different people. As days passed by, as dark brown became gold and gray, as jersey numbers become lower, the boys would grow tired and move on to something or someone else. Out of all these, there were only two things that they would keep loving—volleyball and you. 

People would always look at you longingly and say, “Those two love you the way they love volleyball.” 

In their eyes, they think that it was a competition between them. That you were the prize. 

Or maybe that you were the setter with two spikers wrapped around your finger, waiting to see who you would send the ball to.

They were wrong. They only saw the miraculous sets, the awe-inducing passes, and the breathtaking feints. They never saw the players playing in the match. 

They see one thing and immediately assume another. They see the boys with you and they instantly think that they are both in love with you. 

They didn’t understand. 

Miya Atsumu and Miya Osamu loved the same things. Yet, they loved in different ways. So did you.

Miya Osamu

Miya Osamu always knew that he loved you. 

He didn’t know when he started to feel this. He didn’t know how. He just knew that he did. It was that simple. 

Just like volleyball, love came naturally to Osamu. Just as he easily could interpret their captain’s hand signals for the next rally, he could understand the minute twitch in your brow and the slight change of pitch in your voice. He knew when you were up for playful banters or when you needed to be alone.

Just like the way he played volleyball, his love was calm, collected, and observant. It was pats on the shoulder after a long hard day. It was extra packed lunches because he knew you would be too busy to buy something from the cafeteria. It was small smiles after hearing an encouraging cheer from you.

Just like his love for volleyball, his love for you was something that he shared with his twin. It was picking up his pace when he noticed his brother gaining a step closer to you. It was searching for better, more animated stories so you would listen to him rather than his brother. It was laughing a bit louder at your jokes so that your final smile would land on him. People often branded him as the better twin, but at the end of the day, as their coach and their captain remarked, he had the same genes as his brother. So, somehow his love for you was slightly competitive. 

It was on Miya Osamu’s second year of high school when the pieces started to reveal themselves. As their coach announced their school’s representative for Japan’s All Youth Training Camp, as he saw his brother’s triumphant arrogant but still earnestly joyful expression, Osamu maintained his placid disposition. Consequently, this was also the same way he felt when you chose his twin over him.

When Atsumu confronted him and told him to get mad and to get jealous at him, Osamu never obliged. Just like the way he felt when wasn’t chosen for the national team, Osamu wasn’t mad that you chose Atsumu. He was more bothered about why he wasn’t bothered. After all, he loved you the way he loved volleyball. If he didn’t care that much about losing to Atsumu in volleyball, then with you…

Huh. He never noticed that before.

Days later were without Atsumu. Osamu observed that it was slightly without you too. His brother always found a way to keep you close. Without him, things were different. 

During the week that Atsumu was away training, everything would make sense to Osamu. The pieces fell into place and he was finally able to see the bigger picture.

Miya Osamu realized that he loved you, but he wasn’t in love with you.

Just like Miya Osamu’s love for volleyball, he knew that if it wasn’t for his brother, Osamu would have never loved you the way he did. Just like his love for volleyball, he will always have a special place in his heart for you. He will always love you. But never too seriously. Never in the grandiose way his brother did. And never enough to stay.

Later on, your name will enter into conversations and warmth will seep through his insides. He will feel fondness and comfort at the idea of you. Osamu will think of you and smile. 

He will remember all your jokes in the gym. He will remember all your cheers in the court. He will remember all your tears after losses. He will cherish those memories. 

Just like volleyball, you will be someone back from high school. And if Atsumu was not around, that is all you will ever be—a memory to recall, a friend and nothing more. 

That is how Miya Osamu loves you. He loves you as a friend. He loves you for the memories. 

At the end of the day, Osamu knew it was right that you didn’t choose him because loving a memory just isn’t the same as loving a person.

Miya Atsumu

Miya Atsumu fell in love with you the same way he fell in love with volleyball. 

He was playing with all the other kids in the neighborhood (kids Osamu had befriended) and he had badly scraped his knee while attempting to dig a ball (something he wanted to imitate as soon as he watched a professional player do it on TV). You, who heard his cry for pain, immediately ran over to him and did your magic. In no time, you had dusted off his knee and had helped him stand so that you could walk him to your father’s clinic that was nearby.

“It’s going to be okay,” you had told him with a reassuring smile. “I’ll help you cross to the other side.”

Later on, he would learn that you always did this. You always kept an eye on the kids playing across the street, just in case someone needed help. 

Miya Atsumu was young and probably didn’t know what love was, but he knew that he wanted you to be around forever. He would go home, battered and bruised, yet smiling sheepishly, telling his brother and the rest of his family of the girl he had just befriended.

The rest of his family would be surprised, amused, overjoyed, and relieved. Their straightforward hard-to-please Atsumu-kun had just made a friend. The last time his family felt this way was when, after years, Atsumu had finally found resonance with volleyball.

Miya Atsumu fell in love with you the same way he fell in love with volleyball. It was the moment he wanted to dedicate his love to something that was about giving yourself to others.

Just like volleyball, Miya Atsumu was loud, blunt, and rough. He was merciless. There were times when he sent you home crying with the cruel truth in his words. When he was young there were times when he used his fists, until he was taught that he should never hit other people (though that never stopped him from hitting his brother ever). 

Just like he was with volleyball, he would sometimes revert back to a child. There were moments when he would be so petty and blame his forgetfulness on you. He would take your things and ask for your permission only after having returned them. 

Just like volleyball, loving you would never be easy and natural for him. Through the years, there would be days of silent treatment because he gave you the ticket, he lent you his jersey, he practiced nonstop, all you needed to do was come. But you didn’t, because you had an emergency surgery to perform that couldn’t be postponed. He understood your reason. It would just take him time to accept it. There would be late nights of him banging his head on Onigiri Miya’s countertop, because he said the wrong thing, or he said too much, and you needed space. 

Just like volleyball, he would need to learn how to love you correctly. Atsumu would need time, practice, and sometimes even a beating from his twin brother. He would only be able to hold your hand after days of subtly swinging his arm and bumping into yours by what he claims was an accident. He would overcome the awkwardness the same way he did with his setting, after dozens of tries. He would learn to walk on the sidewalk closer to the road the same way he learned to take a single flawless step before a toss—consciously at first, and after some time, by instinct. He would learn how to hold his tongue only after spending many cold nights walking home from his brother’s restaurant. 

Just like his love for volleyball, Miya Atsumu’s love for you was impulsive and reckless. It was being frozen still while hanging on to dear life on the pipe that stretched from the ground to the side of your window and ended on the roof, a pipe that he used to climb so he could romantically knock on your bedroom window after watching a scene of it in a movie. Apparently, he didn’t think that the second floor would be that high. It was spontaneously telling you he loved you after a game, only for you to ask him to repeat what he said because his confession was similar to the sound of him sneezing. Atsumu’s love for you was impromptu dates and unplanned adventures.

Just like he loved volleyball, he would love you unyieldingly and relentlessly. He will tell you he loved you every day, every time he saw you in the hallway, every time you came to one of his games, every time he saw a kid with scrappy knees. He will always be looking for new ways to show it too. Just when you thought he had done the grandest display of his affections, he would come up with a new and better one. 

Between the moment he raises his arm and closes his fist and from the moment he goes in for the serve, in the silence of those eight seconds, he will be looking at you. Later, when you ask him why he did, he will tell you that years ago, when he was just a nameless stupid kid with a wounded knee, you had raised your arm, closed your fist, and induced quietness from his playmates. Between the moment you did that and the moment that you bent to examine his injury, there was silence. You looked him in the eyes and he found peace and reassurance. Though most of the time, Miya Atsumu lived for the loudness of it all, he gained strength in the tranquil eight seconds after the whistle. More so, when you were watching, he had said. 

Just like his love for volleyball, Miya Atsumu’s love for you is earnest, sincere, and thoughtful, always searching for ways to help support you. Atsumu loves you with all that he has, with every fiber of his being, till the end of his days.

The Way Their Love Turned Out

At the end of a long day from the hospital, you will stop by Onigiri Miya, a restaurant known not only for the delicious food, but also for the television that played volleyball games all day. 

You will greet the owner of the shop and he will treat you to dinner and chat with you about what you were doing nowadays. You might even talk about all the idiotic things you did back then. 

The two of you will scrutinize the setter on the television who missed his first serve. After a full rotation, he will score five service aces and the two of you will be giving each other high fives and be shouting at the screen. 

After the game, you will give him a friendly smile and thank him for the meal as you walk out the door with a takeout bag. He will return your smile and ask you to come back. 

He was always happy to see an old friend, he will say.

When you go home to your house full of trophies, medals, signed shirts, and used tickets, you will ready the dining table and put your takeout into microwaveable containers. You will play your favorite Netflix show on the TV and sit on the cold hard floor (not the cozy couch), promising that this time you will definitely not fall asleep.

You will wake up on the bed hours later and you will laugh at yourself, because who were you kidding? 

Though it is dark, you will look at the man beside you who carried you to bed. You will graze your fingers lightly on the contours of his face and you will whisper that you are proud of him and that you love him.

Even if it is silent, you will sense his quiet chuckle. He will press a soft kiss to your forehead, thanking you and telling you that he loves you. He will thank you for the takeout and scold you for sleeping on the floor.

For better or for worse, you will say.

He will laugh. Loudly this time. 

He will hold you closer, tucking your head under his chin. 

I’m glad I married you, he will say.

At the end of the day, Miya Atsumu and Miya Osamu loved the same things. Yet, they loved in different ways. 

So did you.

HAIKYUU MASTERLIST • AO3

[gallpall]

canaan bubble redux as a womb for story/character arcs

I’m sure most of this has been posted about before but: ever since my initial read I’ve been obsessed with the gross bodily/gorey stuff in the Canaan redux and I wanted to organize some of my constant+chaotic thoughts!!

TM has said that a lot of the motifs/events in the bubbles are actually “Silent Hill stand-ins” for story elements and she hopes we pick up on stuff, so here’s my Attempt!

At the same time that Harrow’s mind is being made a tomb for Gideon Nav Wake’s subconscious is pulled in to act as a womb for certain plot elements right alongside it. The chronology/time period of HtN mimics a full nine-month gestation. There’s a lot of very literal imagery here (which is below the cut), but I also think we’re meant to see it as metaphorical: we’re able to glean some things about character arcs based on how everything in the bubble goes down.

I’m particularly interested right now in those ‘side’ characters in the bubble who aren’t actually dead, who barely appear in the bubble at all except to get summarily offed, all in very distinctive ways. Judith, Camilla, Palamedes, and Coronabeth.

(cw below cut for some pregnancy/insemination imagery, canonical body horror and gruesome bubble deaths rehashed)

First of all just some quotes showing some of the imagery that I’ve attributed to being Wake manifesting pregnancy trauma stuff (there’s possibly some of Harrow’s conception trauma here, too) seeping through, for the purposes of this line of speculation. 

This isn’t nearly all of it, but some things that stood out to me as possibly comparing Canaan House 2.0 to a functioning reproductive system:

(ch. 21) a “collection of large, rusted pipette needles” -- turkey basters?

(ch. 35) “great, slithering, pulsing tubes” which contain “whitish-pearl bubbled globules”-- this perhaps recalls ovaries/fallopian tubes, with the ‘globules’ being follicles produced by superovulation for insemination, or corpus luteum that supply progesterone to maintain a pregnancy.

(ch. 45) “stretched webs of organ [...] like nets of sticky venous spiderweb” --uterine walls, maybe; it’s all over the windows, totally encasing them in Canaan’s rooms, and arguably even contracting like a uterus would: “every so often they would tremble uncertainly and erupt in floods of bloody, foamy water.”

in the next pgh we get some more of the tools Wake would have used to conceive/upkeep the pregnancy: “pipettes, broken glass-fronted containers filled with dark fluid,” skeletons sitting atop piles of “capsules or pills” perhaps hormones/supplements. (also holding Drearburh tools, the way Wake’s skelly would have been doomed to do)

(ch. 43) “from that hole emerged a clattering pile of plex scope slides, the type you would preserve a cell sample between“ -- Wake would’ve had to carry out the IVF process for implantation, this also seems like apparatus for that

(ch. 47) there’s the “libation” Abigail uses to summon Wake which is... well. It’s a “thin, milky, whitish liquid pooled at the base, sluggish in the cold,” and the summoning involves a bunch of ‘come’ commands, which I think might be Muir making a very elaborate jizz-adjacent “silly buggers with the emissions” joke. 

Just a note, cause I’m hopeless about Pyrrwake: the Seconds’ quarters are almost completely preserved from the leaky body horror (though it’s still cold in there)--as if they represented a sanctuary in Wake’s subconscious. There are also letters in the nonagonal coffin room which spell out an anagram of “PYRRHA” (ch. 47).

So with all that in mind, I’d posit that the fake-ghost deaths are all metaphorical “rebirths” of various characters arcs for ATN. I haven’t delved into what this imagery might mean for Harrow or Gideon specifically because I know there’s a LOT and it’s probably above my theoretical paygrade (I would love for someone to tack on with that though!!) but I can talk about ‘side’ chars on a very big-picture level.

Judith’s simulacrum gets knocked off first (ch. 18); shot through the heart (both atria) while she and Marta’s ghost are trying to complete the winnowing trial. The Sleeper shoots her 7 more times after that, I guess partly just ‘cause she can, but Ortus notes that it seems like there was an element of "Anger” to it. It’s possible Wake wasn’t pleased to have someone messing around with Pyrrha’s lyctoral trial, infuriated that anyone would be attempting to replicate G1d/Pyr’s original downfall. She then ignores Marta entirely and climbs back in the coffin (now with the sword) once Judith’s out of the way.

[Marta’s] scarlet necktie looked redder too—by the time they’d gotten hold of Judith Deuteros the blood had dried hers nearly black.

Cohort red-and-whites being stained black with blood, like a certain high-collared BOE uniform... could be another little clue to Judith’s "heart” for the Emperor (and for Marta, and pretty much everything else she knew) being lost and her realigning--though not willingly, at least at first--with the other side.

Cam and Pal’s simulacrums are plainly executed (ch. 21), they have their “faces obliterated” each by a single gunshot, and it’s as if they just stood there and let it happen. In the bubble, “Harrow had never seen Sextus or Hect except from afar.” These simulacrums totally avoid having their features revealed to Harrow. I’m willing to bet their faces being obscured and then exploded is one of the clues we get to their eyes being swapped around the next time we see them in the epilogue and in ATN.

Regarding the twins: They are essentially non-extant in the bubble. Ianthe never appears because she’s still kicking and, in her own words, “doesn’t live alternate histories” (GtN ch. 15).

Coronabeth’s simulacrum scene (ch. 37) is SO vivid and cryptic. It fascinates me because it definitely is, in part, trying to tell us something poignant about the initiation of Corona’s “worse twin” arc in ATN.

[Corona] was turned away from Harrow, and her riot of hair—half-caught in a fillet, half-escaping—was soaking wet, a dark and crinkling amber in the rain. She was not fighting or arguing. She was still as a statue, and ready and waiting as a dog.

Sounds like the fake ghost preparing for that major shift in allegiance. Silas is the one to ‘dismiss’ her, with his “may the blood of your blood suffer,” which perhaps is a really Templar-y way of saying ‘now go wreck ianthe’s SHIT.’ When Harrow accuses him of sending Corona to her death, Silas asks “Death?”--as if he sees that what’s really just happened, at least metaphorically, is (re)Birth.

[Harrow] thought she saw, absurdly, a sudden gush of watery blood, as though the fog itself had been knifed; but it was gone almost as soon as she had seen it.

Sounds a bit like amniotic fluid/water breaking? Coronabeth doesn’t ever seem to hit the ocean (bodies of water=necromancy and that’s not her deal), she instead just kinda poofs, and Silas says she would have ended up “on her feet.” Coronabeth is ditching her family ties and is out for blood, and I think her charisma, willpower, and sheer desire for revenge will move her a long way in the ranks of Eden--probably even to the point of echoing Commander Wake’s ambitions and actions. I could delve into that damn portrait mirroring Ianthe’s obsession w/ Cyrus’ paintings on the Mithraeum... but that is a whole other post!

So all of these are fairly baseline observations and I think there’s a LOT more to be expounded on, if y’all wanna reply/reblog/DM with additions I would freaking love that, every time I open a page of this book I find something I missed before and it’s such a delight. Thanks for reading if you got this far!!

[snipsnsnailsnwerewolftales]

Blue Moon - Part 5

A/N: See masterlist for prompts used. (And the list of amazing people who have helped me with this.) This one gets kinda heavy again. Don’t blame me! Blame the season! But you might wanna recheck the warnings on the masterlist just to be sure, and know the Sourwolf lovin’ and content is coming! (And hope to high heaven that Jennifer Blake isn’t here to stay. Please. Release the Sourwolf, Ma’am.)

I do not own Teen Wolf or it’s characters. Sadly.

Warnings: See Masterlist

Word count: 3,693

Xxx

“You two are idiots!” you hissed after Isaac and Boyd as they made their way down the sidewalk in front of the McCall house, back toward Stiles’ waiting Jeep.

“Today would be nice!” Stiles hollered from behind the steering wheel, his fingers drumming impatiently while he waited. “I only agreed to do this because I owe Scott, and my car is already starting to smell like dog, so can we please move this along so I’m not late for school?”

Climbing into the backseat and sliding over to make room for your packmates, you reached forward and whacked the back of Stiles’ head. “No dog jokes.”

“You didn’t have to follow us, you could have stayed in the car with Stiles like you were when we got here.”

You leveled a glare on Isaac as he smirked at you from the seat opposite you. “I had to get out of the front seat anyway, so I figured I would see what the idiocy was all about.”

Boyd let out a snort from the passenger seat and shook his head gently, despite his small grin, before he turned and looked out the front passenger window. He didn’t talk much, especially since Erica, but he was always listening. That’s why he was always one step ahead.

You smiled at him briefly before Isaac snapped in front of your face, making you scowl in his direction again. “Go to school, Y/N. No need for you to be at the loft any more than you need to.” After hearing about what you saw the night they were all trapped at the motel, they had all been for you not going back there unless it was necessary. They didn’t exactly want to go, either, but their frustrations with Derek could wait for a time when everyone’s imminent safety wasn’t at stake.

“I still don’t totally get your plan, but I hope you don’t all wind up dead.” You shuddered. “This could go badly so many different ways….”

“Be optimistic, Y/N!” Stiles protested, looking at you in the rearview mirror as he pulled up in front of the loft. He turned in his seat to meet your gaze after putting the car in park, letting the engine idle. “If their plan works, hopefully you can move back to the loft once this all settles and get out of my hair.”

You ruffled his hair as you made your way out after your packmates, smiling at his cries of protest, and hesitating before fully getting into the passenger seat. Turning around you gave Isaac a hug, ignoring his groan and awkward back pat in return. “Just don’t do anything stupid.” Turning to Boyd, you wrapped him in an embrace, which he surprisingly returned. “I need you guys.”

“We need you, too, Y/N.” Boyd was even smiling when he pulled away, holding on to your shoulders. “Which is why you have to go to school and cover for us.” He turned you and gave you a gentle squeeze on the shoulders before lightly shoving you into the Jeep. “Remember what we told you to say?”

You grimaced. “Yes. Do I have to?”

“Only if you want this plan to work,” Boyd smirked.

“Fine,” you huffed, shutting the door, and leaning out the window to finish the conversation.

“And be as descriptive as possible,” Isaac snickered, and you glared at them both before it melted into a small laugh.

“You owe me. Big time.” Turning to Stiles, you saw that he had just finished fixing his hair, and it took all you had not to reach out and mess it up again.

“Don’t even.” Stiles held up a finger in warning at you.

“I didn’t do anything!” you cried, grinning.

“You thought it, and you know it, and lying is not a good attribute, Y/N.”

You turned and waved at your two friends, smiling as they chuckled and turned toward the loft, Stiles putting the Jeep into gear and pulling off in the opposite direction.

Xxx

The rest of the day happened in a whirlwind, coming to a screeching halt as you rounded the last set of stairs up to the loft.

You heard a scuffle, then suddenly the loft seemed to emit what looked like lightning. The twins left Jennifer by the door and walked inside, their footsteps sounding like they were walking through water. Isaac quickly leapt to Jennifer’s side and held her close.

You slowly approached the door, feeling as if you weren’t really living what you were seeing. To your horror, you heard Kali yell something, the twins sloshing around to grab Derek and force him into submission like a disobedient puppy. They forced his claws to stay extended, and Kali lifted Boyd up and onto them, the only noise a soft groan as his abdomen was pierced.

You saw Derek break. You felt it.

Kali said something, you weren’t paying attention, and she exited the loft with the twins, stopping and rolling her eyes when she had to step around you because you wouldn’t move. You couldn’t. Your feet were rooted to the spot. You stared at the twins as they passed you in the hall with a sneer. Keeping your head high, eyes narrowed at them, you waited until they were down several flights of stairs before you let out the breath you were holding.

A small smirk worked its way up your face knowing you’d gotten under the Alpha Pack’s skin, but it quickly vanished as you looked back up and to the loft doorway, where Isaac held a terrified looking Jennifer.

Even if she was lying about everything, she sure played the distress convincingly. Enough that you doubted some of what you knew to be true.

He met your gaze over her head, gently shaking his head to tell you what was waiting in the loft wasn’t good.

Boyd and Derek were exchanging some faint conversation, and while you wanted to rush and help, the moment felt special, almost sacred, and you didn’t want to break that.

Only moments later Boyd fell to the floor, and you heard no heartbeat from your fallen friend. A single tear slipped down your cheek, and you turned your gaze to Derek to see him staring at his hands as they shook in front of him.

Stiles, Lydia, and Cora all rushed past you, Lydia hovering in the doorway. Brushing past Jennifer and Isaac on the threshold of the loft, you stilled once again a few steps in at the scene you were met with.

Cora lay sobbing over Boyd’s body. Derek knelt right beside him, his hands covered in blood and held in front of him as if he didn’t recognize them as his own, or didn’t want to. Stiles was behind Derek, hand on his shoulder in comfort. No words were exchanged, the only sounds were Cora sobbing, Derek’s ragged breathing, and the water covering the loft floor lapping at any movement.

As if he could sense you, Derek snapped his head your way, looking you over from the ground up as if to make sure you were okay, before landing on your eyes and finally holding your gaze firmly. Something swirled in his eyes, something you hadn’t seen in months, since before you were turned.

You had been a long term resident of Beacon Hills and had met the Hale family on several occasions growing up, enough to know when Peter was scheming and to know Derek’s wide array of moods. This is one you’d only seen once before the fire, and anytime after when the fire was brought up.

Pain. Failure. Loss. A swirl of grief stared up at you with blood stained hands.

And without exchanging a word, you walked around behind him, putting a hand on his other shoulder, mirroring Stiles to your side. Slowly you knelt in front of him, careful to keep your hand on his shoulder, and brought your other hand up to his cheek. Purposely putting yourself between him and Boyd, and his grieving sister, you needed him to focus on one thing at a time before it all became too much.

Reaching down with both your hands, you took hold of his, and he flinched, trying to pull them back, but you held on tightly.

“Derek,” you whispered, not trusting your own voice.

His eyes went from the floor to staring at his hands again, and finally up to you. And when he met your gaze again, you almost broke completely. But you couldn’t.

So much pain and death and in general horrible things happened around him, no matter how he tried to do the opposite. People literally used his hands to kill someone else. And despite how hard he fought, and went against everything bad, he was still the one made to take the fall.

“Derek, this isn’t your fault.” Your voice was breaking with emotion, you didn’t trust it more than the small sound it currently offered. “It was Kali and the others. You fought. You fought trying to protect them, protect everyone, and you almost did, but they played dirty.” Giving his hands a tight squeeze, you pulled them closer to your chest and saw the hesitance in his eyes. Slowly lifting them up to sit on your shoulders, you placed your hands firmly on top of his, rubbing his knuckles with your thumbs.

Smiling cautiously, you held his gaze. “See? There’s nothing to be afraid of. Those same hands that won’t kill a spider for me are right here.” He smiled gently at the remark, and you let yourself return it. “These hands did not kill Boyd, Kali’s did.” You swallowed thickly, feeling the lump of unshed tears growing in your throat. “Now, I need you to do something for me.” His eyes darted all over your face, before holding your gaze once again with a gentle nod. “First, we have to take care of Boyd. We’ll put him by Erica? I think he would like that.” Derek nodded again after a moment of hesitation. “You know his ghost would haunt us if we didn’t.” Everyone in the pack let out a little laugh in agreement, letting tears fall unabashedly.

Pulling his hands down into the water that filled the loft, you rinsed them gently to remove the blood as best you could, speaking after a moment as you did so. “Then, after a proper send off, we need to get the water out of this loft. I have no idea how, but until then you should go stay with Peter in his apartment.”

“He can stay with me,” Jennifer offered.

Going rigid at the sound of her voice, you turned almost mechanically her way. You’d forgotten she was even here. Keeping your voice a monotone, you looked her dead in the eyes as you spoke. “I think it’s best that he’s with family right now.”

“I’ll make sure he gets there,” Cora said from behind you, sniffing loudly as her tears calmed down for the moment.

Looking over your shoulder, you smiled at her in thanks.

She returned the gesture. “I might even stay, myself. Family time, however dysfunctional, sounds nice.” You didn’t miss the way she eyed Jennifer with mild disdain, and Derek with unabashed concern.

Turning back to Derek, looking down to see his hands now clean, you turned your grip in them to hold them, fingers interlaced tightly with his, and a smirk rising on your face. “Then, this last part I know you’ll love - revenge. After we take care of Boyd, then the loft, then we plot our revenge, and get justice for our friends and everyone else they have made suffer.” Leaning in close to his face, you whispered, “And that includes you.” Giving his hands a final squeeze, you rose to your feet, pulling him with you.

Despite everything, you saw a glimmer of the old Derek shining through, and it was enough to give you hope again. That maybe Jennifer hadn’t totally brainwashed him. And she wouldn’t. Not if you could help it.

Xxx

Pulling up in front of the Stilinski house yet again, you sat in silence as Stiles put the Jeep in park, turned off the engine, and just stared out the front windshield blankly without saying a word.

You eyed him from the passenger seat, the silence tense, and the small popping sounds of the engine as it cooled down nearly made you jump each time. Steeling your resolve, you reached a hand over to place on Stiles’ forearm. He flinched gently away, but allowed the gesture with a sigh, placing his other hand firmly over yours with a soft pat. “It’ll be okay, Stiles. This sucks, I know, but we have to be there for each other. I lost him, too. Don’t shut me out.” You choked on the sadness that had been building in your throat, swallowing the small lump down, daring it to break you. You could only manage a small, wavering whisper after that. “Don’t you dare, Stiles.”

Patting your hand once again, Stiles smiled tightly, his voice heavily sarcastic. “Yeah, it’ll be okay, Y/N. We’ll be fine. I’ll just add it to my list of trauma from this week and move on. Sound good? Okay.”

Pulling away from your grasp, he opened the door and got out of the car, slamming it shut behind him. The action was so violent for Stiles, it made you jump.

He had only gotten this way a few times in the years you had known him, one of those being when his mom died. It was never easy to watch, and sometimes harder to handle, but grief had a way of doing that. And you weren’t about to let grief dictate this evening. At least, not anymore than it already had.

Climbing out of the Jeep slowly, shutting the door quietly, you followed your friend to where he held the front door open for you, his face a tight line, his gaze downcast and far away.

He gestured you through with a stilted motion, but you stood at the bottom of the steps looking up at him. Shifting your weight side to side, the squelching sound of your waterlogged shoes finally became too much in the awkward silence, so you reached down and slipped them off, holding them limply at your side on the tips of your fingers.

You’re not sure how long you both stood there, but it felt like an eternity before Stiles finally took in a sharp breath. “Are you ever going to come in?”

“After we have talked.”

“We can talk inside just fine.”

“You can distract yourself inside just fine.” Stiles let out a loud breath through his nose, looking away from you again. “We need to talk first.”

He let go of the handle and took the few steps down to where you were. “Look, I know what you’re doing, and I appreciate it, I really do. But we can’t talk about this out here, for a multitude of reasons.”

“So what if someone hears us?” Stiles scoffed disbelievingly. “In case you haven’t noticed, werewolves are kinda in right now. We might just become the popular kids.”

Stiles smiled despite himself, plastering his hand over your mouth. “You mean you would finally be popular. I would still be the skinny kid full of sarcastic jokes who follows you around.” You went to speak, but he wouldn’t remove his hand. “And that’s okay with me. Times like tonight, that’s just what Derek needed, a friend. Not someone with a supernatural agenda, not pity, or someone picking up on chemo signals or whatever. He just needed a hand on his shoulder to ground him, one not covered in blood, which, no offense, all of you seem to have at this point for some reason or another.”

Rain drops started to hit the top of your heads, and you looked up, blinking once or twice as it pelted your face.

“Plus, it’s raining, so……”

Stiles smirked, removing his hand, and went inside, one arm still outstretched on the handle as he waited for you, a sly grin on his face this time, his eyes meeting yours. Despite the facade, you saw his pain; tonight would haunt him for a while. Stepping up and inside, Stiles mumbled a “thank you” as you passed over the threshold past him and went directly up to his room.

“My dad is at work tonight, so we have the place to ourselves.”

“What are you suggesting?” You playfully wiggled your eyebrows. “I mean, I know grief can make you do some weird things, but…..”

Stiles held up a hand, shut his eyes, and shuddered violently. “Don’t ever-” he made a fake gagging noise- “joke about that again. I don’t need nightmares, thank you very much. I’m very successful at them on my own.”

You chuckled.

“What do you think Boyd and Erica would have to say to this situation?” You smiled ruefully, absently adjusting a pillow on Stiles’ bed.

“Oh, they wouldn’t let us hear the end of it. How we joked about it, and also, how disgusted they were at the thought of it.” He looked thoughtful for a second. “It might actually be the first thing we would agree on, come to think of it.”

Your jaw dropped, and you threw the pillow at him, which he caught with a chuckle. “You know I’m right.”

“You don’t have to be mean about it.” You cast your eyes to the side, eyeing the floor, before you flopped in the center on his bed. “You can sleep on the floor, asshole.”

“It’s my bed,” he argued.

“It’s your punishment,” you shot back.

Both of you were still in your soaked clothes, but he didn’t seem to mind. Grabbing a pair of PJs you had set out earlier in the day, he pelted them at you, hitting you square in the face. “Nice reflexes, wolf girl. Go change.”

Mocking his words in a ridiculous voice, you went to the bathroom to change, hearing him do the same, hopping around trying to get his soaked sneakers off, before he must have succeeded, only to whack himself somehow because he muttered an “ow” after a soft thud.

Walking out with your hands over your eyes, you asked, “Is it safe?” before opening them just a crack to peek with a smirk.

“Hardy, har,” he said sarcastically.

You launched back onto the bed, ready to relax, when Stiles pounced beside you and wrapped you up tight in his arms, holding your back to his chest. After the initial comfort sunk in, so did the events of the day.

“I can’t believe he’s really gone,” you said quietly.

“It was a really shitty move,” he agreed.

Finally letting your tears fall, they raced silent tracks across your face and onto the pillow. You felt a dampness growing on your shoulder, Stiles’ shaking behind you as he too tried to be strong, not wanting to let it out.

Once it started, it wouldn’t stop, and you knew to Stiles that meant having to take a moment and be still, which let everything else catch up to you that you did your best to run from.

Placing your hand on top of his that rested on your abdomen, you threaded your fingers with his and clutched his hand tight, letting him know he wasn’t facing it alone. Any of it.

Giving your hand a squeeze in return, a single sob came through, and it was all you could do not to match it. But you knew he needed to get out just enough to take the edge off the pain before he bottled it up for later. It wasn’t healthy, but it was how he processed things, and that was enough for you to let him. You’d be there for the fallout later.

He sniffed loudly, cleared his throat, then rested his mouth over the damp spot on your shirt. After a few moments of silence, he mumbled into your shoulder, “Sorry about your shirt.”

You chuckled, swiping at your tears with your free hand and feeling him smile into the fabric where he stayed. “It’s okay, Stiles. Sorry about your pillow.”

This time he laughed softly, the sound making you grin.

“Please stay in here tonight. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep if I’m by myself. Too much going on in here.” He gently rocked his head back and forth where it still sat on your shoulder to indicate his troubled mind.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you said, realizing your pun when Stiles groaned and moved his forehead to the spot on your shirt, making you giggle.

“Your jokes are the absolute worst.”

“It wasn’t intentional!”

“That’s worse!” he cried, lifting his head up to make eye contact with you as you grinned over your shoulder.

Reaching up with your free hand, you wiped away the straggling tears. His eyes bloodshot, you caught a single stray tear that escaped on the top of your thumb. Pulling it back, you smiled sadly as you stared at the tip of your finger. “Say, ‘goodnight, Boyd’.”

Stiles side eyed you.

“Whenever I was sad as a kid, my parents would wipe away my tears and tell me to say goodbye to my worries as they dried away, and to blow them away like an eyelash. I dunno. They are weird people, how do you think I came to be this way? Stop looking at me like that.”

“Goodnight, Boyd,” Stiles whispered, before blowing the tear away.

Settling into the quiet, Stiles still held you close before he spoke quietly, a smile in his voice. “Did I ever tell you about the time Boyd got us the keys to the ice rink?”

“No….”

“Or when there was a werewolf smack down on the rink while Boyd was on the…. the…. the thing that smooths over the ice?”

“No!” You laughed.

“Too bad. He was a cool dude.”

“Yeah, he was.” You smiled. “I want to know these stories, now!”

“Tomorrow, Y/N. We already said goodnight, remember? Weirdo.”

Xxx

Tags: @mayahart02, @palaiasaurus64, @shydinosaurcandy, @lucyqueenofthestars, @c-breanne1999, @l4life, @ethereallysimple, @teenwolffan-with-nolife, @bellabadacadabra, @lilostif16, @wandas-love, @emily500, @babygirl-angel-love, @c-dizzle99, @itscheybaby, @fandomsfanman, @sunsetcurvej What’s This?

[sanchosammy]

miss gaga can I request a drabble with the prompts, “Did you know that you’re broken?” & “It’s not the first time I’ve been stood up.” okay bye i love youuuu

I love you too miss girl @warrentrash, and OF COURSE YOU CANNNNN. (Please go check out @warrentrash​ because she also does fantastic prompts).

Prompts chosen: “Did you know that you’re broken?” and “It’s not the first time I’ve been stood up.”

You looked at the small watch on your wrist. A beautiful silver watch, it was your grandmother’s and you would only wear it for special occasions. That detail only made you more upset as you looked at the time filled with disappointment. 10:45. He was late... No, at this point, he was far past the term late. He simply stood you up.

What an asshole.

You have been partnered with Javier Peña for well over a year now. Murphy, Peña, and yourself were quite the team. However, in recent months, Javier was hellbent on taking you out on a date. You both had a thing for each other and it was beyond obvious.

And though he asked you several times with that charm you were so fond of... That didn’t stop you from continuously denying him the opportunity. You wanted so badly to accept because you found yourself drawn to Javier like a moth to light, but he was known for being nothing short of a ladies man in the past. And so you remained flirting with him at an emotional distance.

Which is why this moment hurt twice as bad. You finally accepted his offer after he saved your life on the job. One of Pablo’s men attempted to pull a hit and run on you as the two of you investigated a crime scene. Javier practically tackled you out of the way of the speeding vehicle, saving both of your lives in the process. The rush of emotions that night made you finally move past your fears and provide Javi a chance to take you out properly.

He said to meet him at La Rosa at 8:30. A little more high-class restaurant with a bar. A beautiful selection you would’ve given him props for. That was if he had shown up. You didn’t even know why you were still here at this point. False hope that he would show up and explain that this was all a huge misunderstanding? You laughed bitterly before you downed the rest of your drink.

You weren’t sure how many of these you had, but at this point you were nowhere near sober. You slapped money down for the drink before pulling yourself off the stool. You were embarrassed as you climbed into the taxi-cab trying to give him your address in Spanish while being your tipsy. A few attempts before he understood what you were trying to say, but thankfully he worked with you and so you were sure to tip him for the inconvenience. 

Heels were not the best choice to drink in and by the time you were stepping out of the cab, they were in your hands instead. You didn’t care about the dirty sidewalk. You just wanted to go home and drown in self pity. The fact that you’d have to face Javier the next day at work was beyond humiliating. 

You tried to keep quiet as you walked towards the stairway. Javier’s door caught you by surprise as it opened and his eyes found yours, you could see the panic rush through him.

“Wait, wait, (Y/N). I can explain everything.” He rushed forward from the doorway as if you would disappear into thin air in front of you.

You looked at him with such a sourness behind your stare. “Leave me alone, Javi.” 

Your eyes trailed past him. The door was not shut behind him. A woman sitting on his couch caught your attention and apparently you had caught hers as well. The awkward pause from you made Javier follow your direct line of sight and you heard the fuck under his breath. 

“No. No, listen to me cariño. I promise it’s not-.”

“Fuck you Peña.” You could hardly get the words out. The anger inside had your blood boiling. He didn’t expect your next move and you had hardly thought it through, but you found yourself throwing the heels in your hands at him.

“Baby, please listen to me.” He called out behind you as you rushed towards the stairway wanting to never see his face again. Though that was impossible because you worked together, you refused to look at him in this moment. He not only missed your date but for another woman? The man practically pleaded for the chance to take you out for months and this was how he repaid you?

His footsteps weren’t immediate to follow you to the top of the stairway. The sound of him closing his door echoed off the walls instead. However, you couldn’t have been that lucky because the sound of his footsteps were now rushing up the stairs that led to your apartment. You just almost made it in time to close the door on him, but he threw his body into the doorway stopping you in your tracks.

“Get away from me.” You called out pushing the door against his body. You didn’t care if it hurt him in the process. He pushed against your strength, which wasn’t hard considering your tipsy state. “You’re a piece of shit, Javier!”

“Cariño,” He kept his voice calm, he understood how it looked and he knew how badly it had to hurt. He was a piece of shit. Even if it wasn’t for the reason you thought, he still shouldn’t have done things this way.

“No, don’t you fucking cariño me. Just because you’re broken inside doesn’t mean you have to drag me down with you,” You replied with venom in your words. You stopped pushing the door against him causing Javier to almost fall in from the lack of pressure to fight against. You didn’t skip a beat as you continued, your voice now much lower but your drunken bitterness continued “Did you know you’re broken, Javi? Drowning your sorrows into women, that isn’t healthy. I thought you wanted to change… I thought you wanted me.”

He didn’t miss how your voice broke at the end. And it hurt him more than he could’ve thought. You turned around shaking your head, a sob breaking out as you tried to keep it together in front of him.

The words had hurt him. It cut a little too deep, and if he wasn’t in the wrong his pride would’ve turned him right out the door. You were right. He was a broken man in many ways, and he had spent most of his time trying to find the answers in anywhere else but himself. That changed with you though, he hadn’t slept with an informant in months after he realized how badly he wanted to be with you.

You brought in a hope and peace that he hadn’t felt in many years.

His arms wrapped around you before you could escape into your bedroom door, which wasn’t hard because at this point the fight in you had left. You were drunk and emotional, and worst of all, you were beyond hurt.

“Please, let me explain,” He whispered out. His hand softly brushing against your hair in an attempt to soothe your heartache. You were so tired you allowed him to pull you towards the couch and sit you down. He didn't sit beside you though, he was on his knees looking up at you.

“I swear. I know how it looks, (Y/N). I promise on everything I have ever loved, it is not what it looks like.” His voice was soft as he reassured you. His thumbs wiping away the tears on your face in the process.

You let out a sigh and shook your head. “It’s fine, Peña. It’s not the first time I’ve been stood up. If you didn’t want to go out to dinner, you should have just told me instead.”

His heart broke into pieces at the confession, and the fact you thought he didn’t want to be at the dinner with you. He lifted your chin so your eyes would meet his. You could be put in a trance with those deep brown eyes of his.

“I wanted to be at dinner, hermosa. I was about to leave when an old informant came in, Pablo has a hit on her because she witnessed one of his meetings. I knocked on your door, I called the phone, but I couldn’t get in contact with you… I know I am a piece of shit because I put work first, but I couldn’t leave her to die. The three of us need this to catch Escobar.”

He gathered your hands together in his and stared at you. He was quite literally on his knees begging at this point. “You have every right not to… but please, (Y/N). Forgive me for this.”

You looked at him for a moment. Your voice came out quiet like a child who was scared to ask a simple question, but truthfully you were scared you wouldn’t like the answer. “You didn’t sleep with her, right?”

“No.” He kissed your hands and looked back up at you “Nothing happened, I’ve been waiting for you to get home.”

With a long exhale you nodded. “Okay, I forgive you Javi… I’m sorry for what I said.” Embarrassment was stuck with you with all this new information, the scene downstairs looked so stupid now.

“Don’t worry about it.” He offered a soft smile and you returned it. His hands softly rubbed yours as silence filled the room for a second. The both of you calming down from the dramatic episode that just played out.

“You look beautiful by the way.” Your cheeks became warm at the sudden compliment. You leaned forward resting your forehead against his shoulder in an attempt to hide your blush. He didn’t attempt to hide his chuckle in response.

“Thank you.” You finally force out. “I’m not going to lie, Javi... I’m drunk.

“Yeah, I know.” He laughed before standing up, softly pulling you with him. He didn’t hesitate to pick you up bridal style. He carried you to your bedroom as he teased, “Drinking without me, that’s cruel Y/L/N.”

“I’m just surprised I made it home. Turns out Spanish with a few drinks in is a challenge.” You joked as he sat you on the bed. You noticed the disapproving look he gave in response, more out of concern than anything. He didn’t mention how he almost called Murphy to drop his position in a mission to go looking for you instead. He looked through your dresser and found some baggy shirt that would do for the night.

His fingers unzipped the back of your dress before he kissed the top of head. “Get dressed, I’ll be right back.”

He left the room while you attempted to change for the night. It had only been hardly two minutes, but by the time he had come back you found yourself under the covers barely awake. He placed a glass of water on the nightstand and kissed your head once again.

“Listen, I fucked up tonight.” His voice was quiet as he sat beside you on the edge of the bed. His thumb gently stroking your cheek as he watched your sleepiness start to take over. “You don’t have to decide now but I want to make it up to you. Whenever you’re ready, if you are ever ready, just let me know.”

He cleared his throat. Emotions weren’t his thing, he’d consider them something new he was exploring again after many years of pushing them down. But he was willing to try again, that was if you were involved.

It was small, but a smile formed on your face. He hardly caught your reply, “Next Thursday, asshole.”

He bit his lip trying to contain his own satisfaction. He had pulled a lot of deals with people all over. People on the street and people in the government, some of them being literally his job on the line. However, this was a different kind of fulfillment. He wanted nothing more than a chance with you and he just got it.

“Goodnight, mi amor.” You could feel his grin as he kissed your hand. The sound of the door closing this time was a lot more peaceful and satisfying to hear.

You knew he couldn’t hear you, but in your sleepy love-drunken state you mumbled it out anyway. “Goodnight Javier.”