#T_T i don't want it to seem like i'm ignoring others but

[noxtivagus]

i love lucilius

[just-some-random-blogger]

Hey love! if you're still accepting requests, could I get an extremely wild, rough and feral nsfw Daemon x wife fem!reader please? (feel free to ignore and sorry if the request is weird, but I'm thirsty for this handsome fictional man who unfortunately doesn't exist)

Frost Bite

Daemon Targayen x Stark!Reader

Summary: You were travelling back to home soil in anticipation of your wolf's heat cycle. Besides the fact that you could not stand the sound of your prince husband's breathing and the fact you were certain he would perish in the cold, there was one more reason why you did not want him to join you: the fact the heat was affecting you too.

Word Count: 5k+

Warnings: Basically PWP, 5k+ SMUT T_T (non-con [daemon touches her while she's asleep], virgin!reader, she cries for various reasons, fingering, choking, biting, degradation kink, corruption kink, spitting, marking, edging, oral [fem receiving], breeding kink, cream pie), RIP feminism, opens with a wet dream, brief mentions of near death experience in a snow storm, dark!daemon (but imo its just canon daemon) fem!reader, wife!Reader, soft!daemon, typos, etc.

A/N: YEAH MINORS DNI. LOL SO I was planning to write this for my part 2 of my Stark!Reader, but i got lazy and didn't want to create a whole plot leading up to the smut, so i removed it all together, which I guess worked out swell for you nonnie, since I was planning something absolutely unhinged. I hope you liked that fic of mine since you're basically getting a p3 of it So here's part 1, here's part 2, but you don't need to read any of them to understand, but i suggest you do for background cos lol this is PWP T_T Next part ig but its a blurb "✨Magic✨" OMG NEXT PART BUT ITS NOT A BLURB "Moon Cycle" Also nonnie, i wanted to tell you albeit asking for smut is pretty awkward HAHAHAH you gotta process these feelings somehow you know. i mean, we could have been criminals, like Daemon, instead but we're not, and that's what matters (unless you are a criminal in which case im closing my eyes) this gif of him is so large on pc but idc he's so hot MATT I WANT YOU SO BAD FUCK OFF if someone snitches to big brother again like in In Your Defense /: Idk if you want to be, but I'm tagging everyone I tagged in the previous fic, as well as the others that commented there SO HI THIS IS SMUT YOU CAN GO IF YOU WANT LOL HAHHAH @aralezinspace @em-the-lurker @blue1006 @mukduk-not-murder @min-jianhyung @deniixlovezelda @moonmaiden1996 @thatmysteriousblog

I caught him. I caught him doing the very thing I dreaded to catch him do. The one thing I accused him of doing every night, though in my heart of hearts I wished he did not... not that I would ever admit it to his face. Because why would I? Admitting it would mean- "You want me," Daemon heaved against the neck of the woman beneath him. He cranes his neck up as he thrust into her, smirking, eyes dark, "you want this to be you," he pants as he stares at me, "don't you?" I am in my place, frozen, watching and hearing the woman come undone underneath my husband who kisses her tenderly. "Daemon," I whimper helplessly, teary eyed, "Daemon please." "Fuck off."

I jolt awake, sweat sheening my neck and chest. I turn to my bed, empty, because though Daemon insisted we sleep together and I could not fight him in his decision, he did not return to me until nigh dawn.

I wipe my face as I recall my intensifying dreams.

It seems my travels up North would come quicker than anticipated.

And as much as I wanted to tell him I told you so, oh to all the gods, how badly he deserved it, there was no time for me to gloat when Daemon did the very thing I warned him not to, fall into the icy river.

It was instantaneous. The cracking of the ice, the splashing of water, the scream that escaped me. Maybe I should have left him in the cave we kept Caraxes, who he insisted on bringing. But then again he would have insisted on joining me to the cabin, the way he insisted on joining me here up North in the first place.

And now I had to deal with the consequences of his actions.

It was sheer miracle that I got him out of the river without falling into it myself, sheer stupidity of me to rid him of his coat and offer him mine when the blistering snow storm was not relenting, and quite clearly the sheer will of the gods that both of us made it to the cabin... barely.

The moment we walked in, I shut the door and scrambled towards the fireplace. As my fingers shivered, I thought of Havoc, and how at least I know she would find mine and Daemon's corpses if ever we do not make it. I had sent her away when the storm came out of nowhere because we had to find cover for Caraxes, and she would not have been any of help to us if she were here with us anyway.

My poor pup. She would be heartbroken if she saw me frozen. And Caraxes...

I curse the flint, I curse the cold, I curse the gods, and I curse Daemon for every time I failed to light a fire. I thanked the Stranger for finally allowing me the mercy of my eventual success.

Once the fire was burning steady, I get on my feet and run to Daemon, hauling him over to the fire roughly in haste where he helpelessly kneels in front of. He could do nothing but shiver as I scramble to get some dry clothes and sheets for the both of us.

I yank him closer to the fire and begin to undress him.

Seeing as he is nothing but docile to my actions and how his skin was turning grey, I began to grow frantic, "you cannot fucking die, you prick!"

I rip his top off and quickly clothe him, "I did not go through all the trouble of marrying you for nothing. I refuse to be forced into another marriage because your stupid ass froze to death."

Daemon's shudder comes out in a thick condensation.

"Fuck," I whimper, as I struggle to get him out of his boots and breeches.

I shrivel up at the feel of his frozen fingers then brush against my arm and I shake my head rapidly, realizing there was no choice. The only way I can warm him quickly enough is if I share my own.

I strip him naked, pulling off the shirt I struggled to put on him as well, then wrap him in a fur blanket in the meantime. I then take off my own clothes and hiss at the nipping cold.

The fact Daemon does not even look at my naked form strikes a chord in me.

I straighten him up and fix the blankets on his legs and thighs before I sit on his lap. I press my bare chest against his and whimper at his dangerously concerning coldness.

He shivers against me as his face rests helplessly on my shoulder. His breath that hits my skin is not even hot.

"Remember, you're too fucking stubborn to die," I say as I wrap my legs around his torso and graciously place his fingers beneath my bottom.

His lack of warmth literally brings tears to my eyes.

I reach out for the other blanket and wrap it over myself, consequently Daemon, before I wrap my arms around him and breathe hotly against his face.

I rub his back, "will you allow irony to take you? The hot blooded prince defeated by the cold?"

He releases a shiver and moves his head. He mutters something, but his quaking body does not allow me to make sense of it.

"Do not waste your energy," I chide.

And so for a long moment, we stay like this, wrapped in each other's arms, sharing each other's heat. I do my best to warm him. I even nuzzle against him, the way Havoc did me, just so I could warm his stupid face.

Daemon finally finds it in him to lean against my touch, and when he does, he mutters under his breath, "irony-" shudder, "-would be if the- N-Northern princ-ces-s-ss died in the cold."

My face contorts and yet I cannot help but chuckle at him, glad he can sputter his nonsense again, "then I should make Caraxes burn you for your stupidity."

I shiver when I feel his icy lips kiss my neck. Goosebumps form on my skin when I feel the hot breath that follows. My hands rake up to his nape, where I then dig my fingers as I pull away.

"N-n-nno!" he stutters, hands coming around my hips to brace me tightly, "I ss-swear I'm not warm yet-t-t."

I pull back again though to face him when I said, "I only wanted to tell you," I lean my forehead against his face, "I fucking told you so, you stupid idiot."

I rest my face on his shoulder and close my eyes, knowing I would not be off him any time soon.

I dream about him. I dream about kissing his shivers away. I dream about pulling the fur blanket that separated our legs away, and riding him until he was warm.

I dream about how good he feels, and how he burns inside me. I dream about calling his name, unlike how I did in my other dreams. I was no longer calling out in betrayal, I was calling out in pleasure.

Daemon.

Daemon.

"Daemon," I trail off in a groan, willing my heavy eyelids open. I feel pressure building up inside me before I understand what's happening.

I not know how, but I am laid on a bed, head on a pillow, form still naked. Daemon is sat up beside me, peering down at me and his hands.

I whine.

His fingers-

"Oh fucking hell," he groans as his other hand begins to knead at my breasts, "you feels so good wrapped around my fingers, I-"

I cut him off with my squeak, hands flying to his arm, thighs closing shut, squeezing this hand in between my thighs.

"Daemon," the dazed quality of my voice is gone.

He tilts his head, face twisting, a challenge.

When I struggle and wrangle against him, all it takes is his hand on my throat to make me go still. I barely manage a choke and my breath continues to leave me as his fingers quicken their pace inside me.

He only releases me after I shake and shudder when I come.

It is overwhelming and nothing at all like I have dreamed or imagined, unlike all the times I've touched myself in secret. It was intense but there was a shame tied to it.

My entire body is hot and tears prick my eyes at his relentless ministrations.

"You were too fucking ready for that," Daemon mutters dryly as he quickly pulls away and shifts in his spot, "how long have you imagined fucking me, hmm?"

Before I even have the brain to do something, he crawls down the bed, "was it when you caught me touching myself to you?" He sinks down, grabbing my legs, "or have you done it before and withheld me of your sweet cunt for no fucking reason?"

All at once, he brings his face between my legs and begins to lick all the slickness off my pulsing core.

"DAEMON!" I scream, pressing my thighs close as I push myself up on my elbows, trying to break free of him.

He ignores me and forces my legs open even as I kick them in protest, "you will not deny me something you so clearly want yourself."

He grunts and pushes my legs down before grabbing my hands that were shoving him away, "you fucking bitch," he grips me tightly, "you will not find it in yourself to fight me off once I make a whore out of you."

I growl at his words, feeling my stomach drop along with my tears because of it.

I was realizing just how strong he really was, and how in moments where our arguments got a bit physical, he has probably holding back. The revelation of this does not cease my attempts at freeing myself, but it is as pointless as I feared.

Daemon rises up from his spot, nearing me, up until he is breathing against my cheek and rubbing his hardened length against my wetness.

I turn away from him, unable to really do anything else and shudder as he speaks, "you said it yourself, you did not go through all this trouble marrying me for nothing."

I screw my eyes shut, feeling tears fall, "Daemon."

He shushes me, pulling my arms up above my head, "you should not worry. I refuse to die now that I know of your lust."

I whimper as he rolls his hips against me, "still, the idea of someone claiming you- fuck-" he groans gutturally, "had I died..." he trails of in another groan, "someone else would have gotten my prize and it would have been all be your fault."

Daemon squeezes my wrist in one hand then grabs my jaw, forcing me to turn to him. I keep my eyes shut though as he heaves hotly, "I should utterly ruin every part of you so you can never have anyone but me. Though make no mistake, I would never let that happen as I so fucking breathe."

"Hypocrite," I scoff.

He laughs and I tense at the feeling of his vibrations, "she speaks."

I dare to look at him as I pant, "you do not desire me. You're just a spoiled brat who merely wants to wet his cock, just like how you do every night."

"Oh," he groans, "is this jealousy I hear?" He squeezes my cheeks, "is my pretty whore jealous that she is not the only one?"

"Fuck you!" I manage out though muffled.

Daemon laughs at the feel of tears rushing down his fingers, "do not cry, foolish wife. I'll have you know I have not wet my cock ever since I called out your name when I fucked someone else before our wedding day."

He releases my face. I attempt to even out my breath.

"I hadn't even realized until she asked me who-"

"And you think you deserve an award for that?!" I quip through my heavy breathing.

He lets out a laugh that makes me whimper, "I think you ought to know that mine own want for you has made everyone else undesirable," he licks my cheek, making me pull my head away from him, "I have been so pent up in want and for what? Because you're too bull headed to allow me anything other than my lonely hand?"

I try to wrangle out of his grip again, and he presses his whole body on me in response, "it's quite adorable that you still have it in you act like you didn't just call my name out loud while you dreamt of fucking me."

He rubs his nose against my jaw, "you wanna know how I know?"

"Fuck off-"

"You were rutting against me like a hussy," he sighs, "by the gods, had I known you were so wanton at night, I would have never granted you the insult of sleeping alone."

I could feel myself burn hotter with each word that leaves his lips despite myself. I did not want him to catch me like this, but there was no use; I was already caught.

As Daemon rocks his hips on mine, he hisses, undoubtedly feeling how much wetter I had gotten was beneath him.

"Fuck," he trails off, "here's what going to happen," he whispers, rutting against me rougher.

I cannot for the life of me withhold my whimper.

He chuckles as he presses his face against mine, "I'm going to make you come with my tongue and then I'm going to fuck you until you cry."

"Daemon, please stop-"

"Your heartbeat against my cock and how fucking wet you are disagrees with your protest, little liar," he croons. He lifts his head, then leans his forehead against mine, "don't worry, my little virgin, you will not cry because it hurts, you will cry because you'll want it so bad that it hurts."

"Daemon-"

"You will not refuse me," he whispers, though it is anything but sweet, "not when there is not a sliver of doubt in my mind that you want this too."

He brings his hands to my neck again and I wait for his grip to tighten, but it does not, "now say it."

I look up at him as my breathing quickens.

"Yield," he commands, breathing heavily all of a sudden.

I look up at him feeling my belly swirl in ways I could not ever explain.

"Admit to both our ears that you burn for me just as I have been fucking burning for you."

I yelp when he puts pressure on my throat then releases it.

"Say it," he barks.

"I-"

"Say you want me," he says softer this time.

I am disarmed by his quick change in tone and a shiver leaves me as the cold finds its way to my belly as he pulls away. Daemon releases my hands then begins to crawl down. His eyes are fixed on my as he mutters once more, "say it."

I shudder as he presses my thighs against his cheeks then whispers, almost begging, "say it."

I turn away from him and close my eyes, awaiting his next actions, for it was not like I could stop him if I refuse.

"Say it," he urges louder, "you know you want to."

I clench my jaw, "just do what you want and be done with it."

He growls, and goosebumps form on my skin when I feel him bite at the inner most part of my thigh. I grip at the sheets at the feel of teeth and tongue. I bite my lips tightly to keep myself from making any noise.

"I should, shouldn't I?" Daemon mutters.

I yelp and look down at him when his finger strokes my core.

His eyes are dark as he airily chuckles at my reaction, "after all I have given you my name, my Targaryen queen. You are no longer your own, you are forever mine."

I watch him as he lifts his head up and kisses my sopping heat. I flinch when he nips at me, drawing my nub out with his teeth. He lifts his head as he releases my flesh. His chin is glistening with my slick as he says, "I want you."

My breath leaves me when he says this.

"And I know you want me too, but I have to-- I need you to say it." He repositions himself in my thighs, "you are after all married to maniac," he breathes against me, "now, say it."

He shakes my thighs, "SAY IT!"

"I want you," I snap, "Daemon, I-" a loud cry rips out of me before I can even continue.

The sound of him lapping his tongue on me, eating me out as if I was his final meal, was somehow louder than my cries. I cannot help but so violently react to him as he devours me. He forces me still in his grip and fights off the movement of my thighs with his face.

It seems as though my admittance has reduced me into nothing but needy sounds.

Without another thought, my hands reach down at him and dig into his silver hair. I arch my back and pull at him when his tongue flicks into me.

"Fucking slut," he mutters, squeezing my thighs as he pulls me apart.

I scream out his name as he digs his face deeper into me. I lift my head up when he pulls away to laugh, "look at you, rutting against me like the needy whore you are."

I don't have time to find offence in his words because I still, not even realizing I was in fact moving my hips against him. He laughs as he continues his work, leaving me no time to feel embarrassment and only hot pleasure.

He is fucking good at what he does. He's so fucking good that my mind wanders where it should not. How much practice has he gotten to be this good? It is precisely because of this that I finally break, "all for you, Daemon," I grab his cheeks, "all for you-- all mine."

I do not see how his eyes dart up to me for I then throw my head back and whine. I feel myself come close to my undoing, "fuck, Daemon, don't stop."

I shriek when I bites me.

Just as I am inching so close, all at once, he pulls away from me.

I pant and stiffen as I hear and feel him spit on me. Much like all other moments, I do not have time to react. When I turn to him, he grabs my legs and shoves me to my side.

I begin to panic when he rises to his knees.

"I'll be fucking damned if I don't make you come on my cock right now," he grunts, making my eyes drop down to the very thing, erect, hard, and angry.

"Get on your knees, bitch," he blurts, though he doesn't give me much of a chance to as he drags me up into the position he wants me by my hips.

I haven't even propped myself up on my arms yet when he unceremoniously begins to pound into me.

I am certain if anyone could hear us in the middle of this storm, they would think I was mad, or worse, being tortured.

"I'm going to breed that prurient wolf in you, just as I'm sure your wolf, Havoc, is being bred right now."

I growl at the idea and feel my belly tighten at his words.

Daemon groans before he chuckles, "that's it, isn't it?"

His relentless thrusts begin to grow sloppy. Suddenly, he yanks me by my hair and lifts me up. His other hand slaps to my throat to offer painful support as he pulls me up against him.

I choke on my spit when my form presses against him with difficulty. He sinks down on his knees, my core wrapped around his length as he shifts me in a snug position atop him.

His hands make their way to my breasts to roughly grope them. His teeth sink down on my shoulder.

I release a wild sound as my own hands come on top of his. I am left moaning at how his mouth sinks into my skin.

Daemon makes sure to suck hard before pulling away. For a moment he catches his breath before speaking, "you did not want me here because you are affected by your wolf's heat, aren't you."

The way I begin to slowly bounce on top of him is enough of an answer to him.

He laughs as his hands depart from my tender breasts, one going down to my sensitive nub, the other sealing my throat again, "you are a fucking selfish bitch for keeping your cunt from me."

My breathing becomes arduous when he tightens his grip around me.

"You would have preferred to touch yourself to the thought of me?" he questions as he rubs on my sensitive nub.

"Daemon," I gasp, pushing my head back as his lips latch on my neck again.

He ceases the moment of his fingers as he finishes grazing on my skin. "Yes, my pretty whore?" he mutters in between his kisses, "what do you want, hmm?"

My breathing strains when his hand tightens around my throat more. I catch my breath when he releases his grip to push my hair off to the side, "tell me what you want me to do to you."

I call out his name. He calls out mine.

I find myself grabbing his hands as I moan out, "I want you to fuck me."

Without another word, I am thrown down to the bed. The only reason I'm still on him is because of his hands that latch on my hips.

I am nothing against his strength. He handles me like a ragdoll, fucking me with absolutely no regard and nothing else in mind.

I make sounds that mean nothing. His name is polluted by my whimpers and cries that you cannot make head or tail of.

I would not last any longer with how he was handling me, even if I wanted to, even if I tried.

"That's it my easy bitch," he pants, "come around me like the needy whore you are."

"Daemon-"

"Your eager cunt will take my seed well when I fill you up," his one hand leaves my hip and rips my head back by my hair again, "don't you think, pretty wife?"

"Yes," I reply without thinking, "yes, yes, yes, yes-"

"And you will give me your pups," he mutters, "bare my dragons, like a dutiful wife will you not?"

My only response is my body breaking orgasm. I shiver beneath him, falling powerless as I scream his name and crumble, absolutely boneless.

Daemon lets out a string of curses as he milks out my reaction for all he's got.

He does not waver once bit and it maddeningly delicious.

My voice hikes up when I feel him release inside me not too late after.

"Fucking come slut," he barks as he snaps his hips in me, "take it all just like that."

I bury my screams in the cushions he presses on, unrelenting. When he finally does grow sloppy, I take a moment to catch my breath and relish the feel of him.

I whimper when he pulls away and slaps my ass.

"The absolute mess you've made of yourself," he coos, as he rubs the skin he slapped.

I can feel myself leaking, I can feel it all over my legs, on the sheets, and I could practically feel his pleased smile as he watches the lewd display. I could not bring myself to care at all though, not when my legs begin to fall.

I squeak when Daemon rearranges me on the bed. He is not at all as rough as he was with me a while ago, but his strength and my lack thereof does not really allow him to be gentle.

He falls onto the side of the bed next to me and gathers me into his chest. When I roll over to him, I groan at the feeling of my wet thighs pressing together.

"Do not make issue of that," Daemon says as he watches me squirm. He pulls me close to him, arm over my shoulders. His other hand hooks behind my knee, dragging me atop him. I whimper and push my hand on his chest when I feel core empty out on his thigh.

He does not allow me to pull away and I turn to him because of this. Daemon forces me close against him, "are you so haughty over my come that you cannot bare the thought of it-"

"But it's getting everywhere," I start off loudly but end with a whisper.

Daemon's nostrils flare as he shakes his head, "I should sure hope so."

I feel my cheeks burn and so I decide to hide my face in his chest.

His laughter intensifies, and I do not enjoy how my head bounces on his ribcage because of it.

"Oh meekness suits you well, my dear."

I weakly mumble, "fuck off."

His amusement continues as he rubs my arms, "you mean, 'I want you to fuck me, Daemon.' "

"I did not say it like that!" I quip, lifting my head as I turn to him, finally making him cease his stupid laughter. The sight of his stupid smug face still glimmering in slick renders me frozen.

Suddenly I am aware of how cold the room still was.

"Pray tell, how did you say it?" he hums, pushing hair behind my ear.

I furrow my brows and press my cheek on his chest again, admitting lowly, "I didn't say your name at the end."

"My," he draws shapeless figures on my skin, "I'm glad to know the moment is burned in your very being."

"Fuck off," I mutter under my breath, scratching my eye. It dawns onto me that my face was equally as wet as Daemon's. Heat rises up my face again when I realize I really did cry because of how good he felt.

"Don't fret," he sighs, "there is a reason why you should not worry yourself about how your pretty cunt is leaking blood and come. I shall fuc-"

I turn to him in concern and push myself up.

Daemon furrows his brows and shakes his head, "it is normal," he soothes, grabbing my cheek, "or did you just forget your maidenhood was still intact after imagining fucking me?"

I am suddenly aware how real everything was. My husband has finally gotten me to consummate our marriage and all his talk of me bearing his seed could may well come true. My chest begins to constrict as my mind floods with endless scenarios.

"Well, if you start frowning like that, I might actually feel bad," Daemon mutters, lifting himself up on his elbows, "what's wrong?"

I look at his concerned expression and find myself speaking before I realize, "did you mean it?"

"Mean what?" he clarifies quickly.

"That you want me," I quip just as fast.

He stares at me for a moment, as if he was taken aback or measuring the truthfulness in my voice. When a prolonged moment passes between us, he realizes I was serious.

"Fuck," he drops his head back, "it must be exhausting to be a woman with your overthinking."

"Well, pardon me for not-"

"You are pardoned," he blurts, making me whimper when he suddenly flips us over.

I am beneath him again. He does nothing but press his weight on me, but I struggle beneath him, not enjoying the idea of remaining in an uncomfortable position.

He misreads my intentions and hinders me from moving, as he wraps his arms around me, "I just told I want you, that I burn for you, that I want you to mother my children. Do you honestly think I am one to say that to anyone?"

I gulp as he shifts to nestle his face in the crook of my neck, "I..." he breathes against my skin. He does not continue as he opts to kiss my neck instead.

When I move to wrap my own arms around him, he speaks again, "I am at your mercy. You saved me from freezing to death when you could have easily decided to rid of me."

I press my cheek against him and begin to comb through the long hair on his back, "I was serious about my distaste to remarry."

"Well, you will not," he quickly retorts, "you will have me until the end."

I bring my legs around him as I release a sigh, "consider me overjoyed by the thought."

He chuckles as he shifts, "you do not sound-"

"I did not want to admit it," I cut him off, "but I think I..." I turn to him as he lifts his head, "I think I... care for you, Daemon... I-"

"Love you," he finishes, staring at me with an unreadable expression.

And for the first time since our nuptials, he kisses me. He kisses me not because he has to, not for the sake of showing everyone present, but because he wanted to, for the sake of showing me.

He is nothing but warmth, nothing but fire, nothing but him. Daemon is not sweet, but in this moment he put even honey to shame.

He begins to stir on top me, though he makes sure his lips do not leave mine. It is because of my moan that we are broken apart, the moan that leaves me when I feel him slip inside me.

"Daemon-"

"You know how I fuck," he sighs, rubbing his nose against mine, "but now we'll both know how I make love."

[adventuringblind]

Nerospicy has never been so cute

Oscar Piastri x Nerodivergent!reader

Genre: fluff... angst if you squint.

Request: nope but they are open! Max, Charles, Oscar, Lando, George, Daniel and Pierre are on the list. Also open for poly fics if anyone is interested.

Summary: just cute fluff between Oscar and his autistic coded partner

Warnings: idk people who can't mind their own business IG

Notes: This is self-indulgent, and I do not care. I just wanna feel supported, okay? T_T

Also, I've sent up my account to let tips be enabled. I was debating whether or not to say this because i dont want to sound like im begging, but frankly, people opinions do not matter me me. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider tipping my posts or my blog. I put a lot of effort into my writing, and it would mean the world to me. Obviously, I won't have my feeling hurt if you ignor this but I wanted to put it out there.

Masterlist

You weren't sure if you'd ever fit in with people. Something about you always felt different from others.

Maybe it was that you didn't understand their antics. Their jokes weren't funny to you, or you didn't understand them. They seemed you as sensitive, but you're really just incredibly empathic.

You were interested in things that they weren't. You hated certain foods, textures, and feeling in general.

Then somtimes it all became too much. Alone in a dark room with headphones in. Attempting to soothe yourself from the overwhelming feelings running through your mind and body.

Your friends wanted to go out of a Friday night. Previously, you were feeling alright and decided to go with. Instantly regretting your decision as soon as you walked into the door of the club.

It was here that you met Oscar.

He didn't really want to be here. He'd given into the pleas of his friends who didn't want to go without him. He liked people and going out to have fun, but he wasn't in the mood right now.

He noticed you sitting at the bar nursing a drink. You looked like you wouldn't bother him, and the bar was already crowded, so he sat down on the stool next to yours.

You briefly looked over at him. Finding your drink to be more entertaining than the male next to you.

You were getting more overwhelmed by the second. The discreetly hidden earbuds only help so much. The vibration of the bass and the lights combined made you want to puke. You wanted to get out of there, but your body was ever so slowly shutting down.

Oscar noticed how your body was shrinking into itself. He didn't want to stare, but it was obvious you were in distress.

"Are you alright?" Asked the Australian.

You didn't look up at him, and words became too difficult, so you settled for shaking your head no.

Oscar thought about it for a minute. "Do you want to get out of here? I'm not in the mood to party, and you don't seem like you are either." He grimaced at how awkward he felt like he sounded. "I promise I'm not a serial killer or something." He laughed but it was more at himself then anything.

Eager to leave, regardless of who the man was, you stood up and made your way towards the door. You didn't have a tab, just water in your glass to make you feel like you belonged.

Once outside the door, you breathe a sigh of relief. Less people, less vibration, and less light.

You wanted to cry, though. Your body still feeling everything.

"Do you need anything? A ride home even? I probably seem like suck a creep right now." Oscar rubs his temples.

For the first time, you fully examine the male. Shocked to see kind features and gentle eyes. He was wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans.

"Thank you." You managed. Not wanting him to feel like a weirdo any longer.

He paused and looked up at you. Wanting to find your eyes but noticing your eyes did not want to find his. "I'm Oscar, by the way." He reached out his hand for you to shake.

Which you did hesitantly. "I'm Y/N."

~

You had explained to Oscar that you didn't live close to here. Over an hour away at best. You'd been exploring the town with friends earlier in the day when they decided to end the night at the club.

He offered you a stay at his apartment for the night and then he could take you home in the morning.

"Actually, can I take you on a date first?" He'd found you intriguing and beautiful, and he didn't want this to be for one night.

You were nervous, to say the least, but when he offered to take you anywhere you wanted to go, the deal seemed appealing. Furthermore, there was a music store you wanted to look at that your friends had passed by. So when he offered, you pointed him in the direction.

"Can I ask you something?" His eyes never left the rode, and you were grateful for it. It helped the conversation flow easier for you.

"Sure." You shrugged.

"Why are you wearing earbuds?"

Oh. You dreaded this. Talking about the way your body and mind work had yet to end well.

Your hesitancy did not do unnoticed, so Oscar quickly followed up with "you don't have to answer if it's uncomfortable."

"Well, it's just that- loud noise makes me overwhelmed, and things like headphones help drown it out." You fumbled.

"Oh I use those at work too sometimes cause it can get loud."

He seemed so natural saying it. His calm demeanor helping you to read him a bit better.

He then proceeded to tell you about his job and ask questions about you. He was very clear when he spoke. Eventually helping you to wind down.

This guy you just met was taking you on a date. Was it a good idea to out yourself? Probably not, but if you didn't care for people opinions much. "I'm autistic."

"I was wondering that but didn't want to ask. I had a friend in school that was, and in some ways, you seem similar to him." He hit his head on the steering wheel. "I'm not trying to stereotype. I'm sorry that probably sounded rude."

You laughed at him. His response was one of the best you'd been given. "It's alright, it's actually kind of cool that you picked up on it."

When you arrived it the music store it was ten minutes to close. The records lined the walls, and boxes of CDs were packed to the brim. Not many people use them nowadays, but it felt comfortable in the little store.

You and Oscar browsed the music and talked about the different kinds of music you like. It felt natural. Even when you knew you were info-dumping, he just listened intently and asked questions about your interest.

Soon enough, the shopkeeper asked you both to leave. You waved a thank you and slid back into Oscar's car.

"Thank you for indulging me. I really enjoyed this." You were shocked to hear that come from him. Mainly because you felt like you talked his ear off.

The drive to his apartment was quiet, but not the awkward kind.

He opened the door for you when you arrived. His apartment was comfortable. It's not super empty or overly decorated. It's just comfortable.

"Right, so you can borrow some of my clothes for tonight and take the room, and I'll take the couch." He didn't even give you a chance to protest as he sped off to gether the essentials.

You two didn't do much sleeping that night. Wasting away the time. The clock moving two fast for your liking. You two spent hours conversing and laughing with each other.

Somewhere along the line, Oscar passed out on the couch, and you had made your way to his room like he said to.

You two exchanged numbers when it was finally time for you to leave his car. He promised to stay in contact with you.

A promise he followed through on. It didn't take long til you were following him around to races.

You were mostly watched from the quiet places in the McLaren paddock. Sometimes, it even curled up in Oscar's driver room. He didn't mind, though, making it a small game you played between the two of you.

You and Lando got along nicely as well. Oscar only getting frustrated when it comes to both of you and your eating habits.

You were manageable, but Lando was just ridiculous in his eyes.

You didn't actively say your autistic but definitely explained why you are the way you are. Eventually, people came to their own conclusions. The gossip pages included.

You didn't really understand the criticism at first. People had always misjudged and misunderstood. But when they started nitpicking your every move, it became annoying.

The names didn't bother you. It was them saying Oscar deserved someone who wasn't as weird.

It followed you everywhere. These labels that the media had given you.

You were happy with Oscar. He treated you so well, and you were doing your best to support him. You two created your own small routines that you enjoyed.

You couldn't even walk through the paddock without journalists trying to question you. The physical souch of their bodies and shouting so they could be heard sending your body into overdrive. You liked the environment of racing, but this was over your limit.

You were so glad you texted Oscar you had arrived. Him responding that he was already on his way to you.

He noticed the journalists first, then you at the center of attention. Your hands in your hair and your breathing rapid. You looked like you might scream.

His legs moved faster than his mind as he put himself in between you and anyone else. Very gently, placing a hand on your shoulder to try and guide you away.

You did end up screaming. Your body needing to release all the pent-up emotions you'd been wanting to release earlier. Thankfully, it was somewhere private and muffled by Oscar's jacket.

You didn't want the so close like that. They were too much. They questions they asked were incredibly invasive. Some even going as far as to ask about intimate things.

You managed to explain to Oscar what happened. His listening intently, watching you play with his fingers in the pattern your head had come up with.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make things hard for you."

Oscar smiled and simply shook his head. "You aren't making things difficult, and on the contrary, you and your nerodivergent brain have never looked so cute."

"I just got done screaming and trying to self-soothe."

"It doesn't matter. You still look absolutely adorable." He kissed the top of your head, hoping to convey what he was feeling without words.

Am hour later, Oscar had posted to his socials about you. A letter to anyone who wants to form an opinion.

"Leave my girlfriend be. Neither of us likes having our personal lives invaded. You like to assume things but don't have all the facts. I love her very much, and that should be all that matters."

As you read it and looked at Oscar, who was giving you a goofy smile for being proud of what he'd just done. You realized just how much he loved you. Despite your labels, he saw past them and loved you for you.

[merakiui]

PUPPYBOY FLOYD PUPPYBOY FLOYD PUPPYBOY FLOYD AAAAAAAAA UR SO RIGHT MERA he'd be the sweetest little puppy yet the moment you turn away from him he's already messing everything up (definitely not so you pay attention to him bc he doesn't like when you pay attention to anything other than him, he's so annoying in the best of ways <333 orz) He should be punished for being a bad boy, but his puppy eyes are so powerful no one can resist them,,, (i'm no one) Even when he starts humping you in the most inappropriate places there's no way you can be mad for more than 5 minutes

And catboy Jade being the worst menace known to mankind - definitely the kind of cat to swat everything off a table of counter while looking you straight in the eye. He's absolutely awful, but can you really get mad when he looks so cute napping on your lap? (you really ought to, he's only going to get worse and more daring if you let him misbehave) So many thoughts, both horny and not,, tweels are just too perfect orz

(also, could I be 🦈anon? I sent in a request for the lunar love hotel asking but obviously it'll take some time for you to answer that one!)

YES YES YES puppyboy Floyd is so physical with you, always wanting to cuddle with you or, more commonly, hump you from behind. He loves caging you in against the countertop if you're preparing food in the kitchen, distracting you from your main priority by rutting against you, breath hot and wet in your ears... he's so clingy, so needy, so whiny whenever you ignore him or aren't giving him enough attention. He especially hates it if you bring unfamiliar scents into the house. His nose is very keen, as is his sense of hearing, so he'll know when and if you're home before you're even turning the key in the lock.

When he's in particularly nasty moods, he has a tendency to destroy things or make a mess, but he'll help pick things up if you seem truly angry or upset with him (he always makes it up to you by snuggling with you in bed or even preparing your favorite meal; he tries to make it up to you with sex, but you always stop him and he pouts about it. >:( Floyd's always considerably sadder if you yell at him, call him a "bad boy," or ignore him out of frustration. But he's perfected the puppy eyes, so it's really impossible to stay angry for long). You've started fixing this habit of his by providing him with things to chew on or squeeze (like stress toys) so that he won't take his feelings out on the decor in your house.

Catboy Jade... very much a menace and a nuisance and a misbehaving catboy!!!! But he's so cute (and so mischievous), so how can you possibly be cross with him? :< he's very cute when he's napping. He looks so content, and when he purrs when you scratch his head or behind his ears (or when he leans into your hand with that cute, sleepy smile) it's enough to have you cooing so sweetly at him. Sometimes he'll lick your hand a few times before biting down hard, as if he's marinating it. T_T but he's cute, so even if he shreds your curtains or destroys the belongings of any friends (or hopefully not romantic partners) who visit he can be forgiven!!!

He's also a catboy who's fond of water!! He loves to take baths with you. >:) and though he often sleeps in his own bedroom, every morning without fail you'll wake to find him curled against you. Though sometimes he likes to stay up late into the night to do all manner of fun things; if you feel a sandpaper tongue against your bare skin while you're sleeping, don't pay it any mind! You're most likely dreaming about it. :) (catboy jade is a lover of somnophilia hehehe) you're so right when you say he will get worse if you let him misbehave. If you keep forgiving him for every devious thing he does, sooner or later you'll wake to him lovingly fucking you so slowly into the sheets. <3

(aaaa the tweels are so perfect yes!!! I always have too many thoughts for them. They give off such catboy and puppyboy energy, so thinking about them as a catboy and puppyboy... it's too good. orz and you may absolutely be the 🦈 anon!!! I also received your request for LLH, so I'm eager to write it!!)

[vitanithepure]

Hi! I really enjoy your posts, and I would like to ask a question. Please ignore if it's too personal!

How do you look at BG3's companion ages? Do you find them too young/too old?

I'm probably on the younger side of BG3 fans and I am having a hard time identifying with some of them. They are awesome, but I just think myself so out of their league, lol.

Way to call out my old ass 😂

Also - thank you so much! It really means a lot people here are so awesome and friendly, I started out with the intention to just scream into the void as an outlet for my hyperfixations, but met so many wonderful people along the way, in such a short span I'm... humbled, really.

But, onto the ask itself!

I don't think of them as either too young or too old, to be completely fair. I don't think we have canon ages set for all of them, and someone else (I'm so sorry, can't find the post or the user now T_T) did a very good job on the guesswork the other day.

There was a time for me, back when I was a teen, where I couldn't possibly level with someone, pixel or not, that was above 30. I think it's normal to feel that way. The way I gave Jaheira a side-eye back in Baldur's Gate 2 while years later Blackwall from DA: Inquisition was the only sensible choice, lol.

But you know what? If I had to, absolutely had to, give my answer I would still put the BG3 companions on the younger scale of things, just because of the lore aspect - so taking into cosideration things like that a 20 year old elf is a baby.

Lae'zel seems to be fairly young? She just went out of her creche, right? So she is whatever the githyanki consider a young adult.

Shadowheart is pretty young too? Without going into spoilers we get a chance to meet someone from her past, and judging by that person's appearance I would say Shadowheart is in her 50s at maximum, which considering the lifespan of half-elves is still young.

Astarion is over 200, not sure how much over 200, but he was an elf, now is completely ageless, so it's tricky when talking about his age. So let's assume his mental age instead? Middle to late 20s at best would be my guess.

Karlach might be around 30? She tells us she was a street kid and then goes straight to being a bodyguard, making me think she was barely 20 when thrown for 10 years to the Blood Wars front.

Wyll also seems to be about his early 30s considering his father's age. Not sure about that though, might be younger? He does have a young face though, so judging by that alone he would be...25?

Gale is, perhaps, the oldest from the core companions considering a human lifespan. Again, judging only by his looks I place him in his late 30s, early 40s. No idea how much of that is his condition 'worsening' his physical appearance.

Halsin? Well, he's an elf, but his mature presence makes him seem on the older side. Not gonna even guess here, have no idea!

Also no idea about Minthara, didn't get to talk to her yet, sorry ^^ Also

So... that gives us 3 young companions and 4...er..."older" ones? :)

Look, I'm 36, not gonna lie that I enjoy pixel people being around my age and I get that an age gap can make people uncomfortable. They will be as much "in your league" as you want them to be. So, whatever you decide to do - first and foremost make sure you are comfortbale with it. Games are a safe medium to explore our boundaries.

[featheredcritter]

TALK TO ME ABOUT NICK MY DEARLY BELOVED MUTUAL

O_O oh hiii!! i shall put this under a read more because uh. it got long

Honestly one of the things I like to think\explore the most about Nick (but this goes for his whole species I suppose) is how different the world appears to him. He's a little guy, a prey animal, so the way he sees\interacts with the world is just so fundamentally different to a human. He might seem silly or unnecessary jumpy but for him even little things have a different impact on him, like the way a person moves, or how he can never be comfortable in a fully open room with no hides, or how he might "suddenly" or “for no reason” freak out, but instead something that might seem meaningless or insignificant to a human had startled him. Like everything can be so incredibly overwhelming in his pov!!!.

Even when perfectly safe and indoors he can’t help but look around and upwards constantly because his subconscious is always seeing invisible owls circling him, or how even in said safe and comfortable environment, he will still place himself in a way he can easily hide or escape if necessary. I even think his natural fear of humans still plays tricks on him sometimes, at which point it gets frustrating for Nick, because when he learns that humans are not bloodthirsty monsters he doesn't want to jump and be startled by their presence, plus the fact they have such different body language....yeah. Like you can't just look him in the eyes for too long or approach him confidently and directly or give him a toothy grin, especially when humans are so big to him, it freaks him out!!! but this feels like an easier thing to get around with just some clarifications and accommodations.

He does not have self esteem issues (if anything he's very proud of himself and his kind) but he is not confident, in the way he will hesitate to approach something he doesn't know or try new things even as a naturally curious person, because anything can mean danger to him, and he doesn't have the luxury of confidence that a human can have, like how some people will just pick up animals and shit and explore, He Can't Do That, in fact he thinks humans are out of their minds for their seemingly absence of self preservation instinct (untrue, especially considering the setting, but for Nick it still seems like that). Humans are confident!! They are tall and at the top, they don't have anything to fear, but Nick is at the bottom, he is jumpy and held back and cautious. (this also changes with the fact that humans in hl have very much LOTS to worry about between the combine and so on, they absolutely do not have all the freedom and laid back lives that Nick always thought they had, but the difference in…niche? is that a fair word to use? still makes this somewhat true).

I don't want to attribute all of this to Instinct, Nick is a pretty anxious man, but when you're in that position in nature you have to be full of natural phobias to keep yourself alive.Like I feel like I'm just rambling and struggling to convey what I mean but yeah T_T.

Or also i reaaally like to think about how he lives through the hl world. Like observing, studying and surviving alien wildlife, or scavenging an old, abandoned and infested building, or watching combine soldiers sweep the forest or being forced to listen to some rebels talk late at night because the place he wanted to take supplies from is still occupied. Like be them mundane or big things, just how he copes with the world he is in. And how he’s kinda ignorant of it too, he knows something happened, he knows the environment is not as healthy as it used to be, he watched species disappear before his eyes and lakes of toxic waste pool up around, he knows the humans are in a  vicious war, but other than that? no clue, he doesn’t know just how massive and critical the situation is, how global. His life is far from easy and safe, but at the same time it all seems so small to the magnitude of what’s going on on earth, he really is just a simple survivor having to face immense cosmic horrors that, at least before being explained everything, were far beyond his comprehension.

[melancholy-marionette]

(I apologize for the errors, I use Google Translator to write this post) Hello, not so long ago I found out about your game "Darling Duality" and, having passed it the other day, fell in love with it! You draw amazing, and I almost really fell in love with Castor (you picked up an amazing voice for him, it's nice to listen to him). The way the atmosphere is conveyed deserves separate words. First, the calmness of the day / evening for the passage of the game, then a sweet and slightly anxious feeling during the first sleep with Castor, then embarrassment and panic fright in the cube with a slight madness (when we cut our palm) and at the very end a light comedy made me not get bored and experience emotions throughout the passage of the demo game! You write amazing music that conveys the atmosphere well! Please forgive me if my message seems strange or stupid to you, but in addition to thanking you for playing, I would like to ask a couple of questions (of course, if you don't mind):

Is it possible to ask questions about the character? I would like to learn as much as possible about Castor/Castoria, but if you can't, then I'll understand everything.

How is the development of the game progressing and when, perhaps, will we be able to see the sequel? (please forgive me if my question sounded rude. In no way am I going to be rude to you, rush you or put pressure on you)

Thank you so much for the wonderful game, and I wish you success in everything!

Hey hey! Thanks so much for all your kind words :3 I'm really glad you've enjoyed what there is of DD so far! I just wanted to let you know that I do plan to answer your questions and write you a proper reply, I just don't have time to do it at the moment because I'm really busy trying to get my project for this year's Yandere Jam done in time (the jam ends this coming Tuesday x3) I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you or anything, so thought I'd let you know that I will answer when I can, it just might be a little while :3 Hope you have a good weekend! EDIT (to add my full answer :3)

Okay, so, hopefully I'm doing this right and you'll be able to see what I'm typing cos I don't really know how Tumblr works all that well x3

Firstly, I should probably say that, while I wish with all my heart that I could draw, I sadly cannot draw to save my life T_T haha. The art in all my games is either the result of me teaming up with amazing artists who can draw beautifully, or, me taking to GIMP and spending hours editing assets that I own to at least try and make them look somewhat unique to my projects rather than using them as they come :3

Darling Duality is the result of the second option, haha. I think it took me around 3 days to edit Castor/ia's sprites because I heavily edited colours, but I also added additional facial expressions that didn't come with the asset pack by layering parts of the face individualy, haha.

I'm glad you ended up liking Castor though ^-^ And I agree, his voice actor is incredible and the character wouldn't be the same without him!

I can also only take credit for certain music tracks within the game x3 The soundtrack is currently only partially original, and the rest of the tracks are ones I chose from various asset packs that felt like they fit well. I really enjoy making music though, so I've been trying to include more and more original tracks in my more recent projects :3

Your message doesn't seem strange or stupid at all though! I think it's extremely sweet :3 And it means a lot to me that you liked the game enough to even want to write something about it ^-^

I don't mind answering questions at all, so you're welcome to ask whatever you like :3 There might be some things that I can't say if they might contain spoilers for the story that is still to come, but I'll do my best to answer what I can.

To answer your second question, in all honesty, development is going very slowly >.< I got quite demotivated to work on the project when I found out that I might not be able to get the same voice actors back to keep playing the characters. So I ended up putting the project on hold and just working on game jams for quite a while.

The voice acting situation is still up in the air, but I am at least slowly working on the project again :3 I have a lot of writing finished that currently isn't coded into the game yet. In the next update, I'm hoping to continue a little more of Castor/ia's story, along with adding a new character to the mix as well whose route you will be able to begin.

It's a very long-term project though because I hope to add quite a few different characters over time. Because of that, my plan was to update sort of episodically, so that it doesn't take forever to release new content. Because the fully completed game will likely take me years to make >.<

As for the next update though, I can't really put a proper time on when I might be able to get it released, but I'm really hoping that it will at least be sometime later this year :3 It's just hard to say because you never know what is going to go wrong and get in the ay, haha.

Thank YOU for taking the time to check the game out and leave such kind words <3

[seoafin]

hi Morgan!! I just wanna say I love everything you write. all your fics and everything about them. I found you through your jjk works and immediately fell for your style, your narrative choices - especially your interpretation of characters! I wanted to ask you, as a fellow fanfic writer - do you feel like there is a way to overcome insecurities about one's own writing ? I struggle a lot especially with characterization - I feel like sometimes I seek this perfection that never seems to arrive and it kills the joy of writing in the first place (T_T) .. I hope this isn't too much of a personal question, if it is please ignore me. If anything I just want to say I am in love with your work! Seeing you and other amazing writers share such cool things here motivates me a lot to keep writing (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) have a good day :))! Also sorry for any mistakes. English isn't my first language oof

hi fellow writer and friend!!!!!! ohhhhh that's such high praise omg I'm so touched 😭😭 I feel you so hard about your insecurities as a writer as someone who is also very deeply insecure about their own writing. I always think that everything I write could be better and despite all the effort and love I put into writing I'm never really satisfied with it. it's a curse!!! honestly I'm still trying to overcome my own negative mindset towards writing like I didn't even consider myself a real writer until recently and that was because I'm trying to claim credit where it's due. writing is so hard and I felt like I was doing a disservice to myself by not calling myself a writer. I think it's really helped to remind myself that writing is something I do for fun and in the act of bringing me joy it's also an activity that is never a waste of time. as for characterization i feel you!!! i think characterization and dialogue used to be one of my weakest points but constantly working at it made it easier. personally I go over a lot of the character's dialogue in canon material and try interpreting their words in conjunction to their actions and behavior. I typically like to put myself in the place of the author and ask myself how a certain dialogue contributes to a character's character, etc. writing is a lot more character analysis than people think! also as someone who reads over character wikis for fun I usually scan over the wiki when applicable. this might not be helpful if you can't understand Japanese but I also read the raws and a certain character's dialogue in Japanese because I find that it gives me a more nuanced overall better view of a character that translations often don't cover

[caught-the-lovebug]

hi!

so I have this really really weird situation with my sort-of crush right now.

We both know each other for around a 3 months or so, and i feel we're pretty close friends but im not sure he feels we're THAT close yet, but we still talk sort of often.

we were pretty good friends, and we'd constantly roast each other, make fun... very play-fight type of friends.

so, i honestly just thought of him as a friend for quite a while, but there was this contantly lingering but unidentifiable feeling everytime i'd talk with him. I just brushed it off, because - well, I don't trust chemical reactions.

but then this one day i just realized that - i feel some sort of affection for him. whenever he smiled, laughed at my jokes, responded wittily, made eye contact with me, I'd feel so happy and feel the need to squish his face (haha im so cringey T_T)

and then i was like "okay, this is some kind of romantic affection, definitely" which was weird for me, because I'm ace and I've only ever had one other crush in my entire lifetime, and that was feeling was veeryy different. this was smthing weird, like - i just wanted to protect him at all costs, yknow? that kinda thing, but it wasnt very sibling-y either.

i told a few of my friends abt this while the crush grew, and i tried to interact more, but then this one day I tried talking with him and i figured that someone who knew told him that I liked him and after that, he started acting really distant with me, which I hated, because even if I did like him, I considered him to be a great friend, and I didn't want to lose that friendship. We texted fine, but irl, we barely spoke.

later on, i learnt that he likes another girl and doesn't like me romantically, but doesnt mind being friends with me. After that, I found the whole process of "making him like me" so tiring and gave up on my crush, which was surprisingly exhilarating.

currently, I've convinced him I just want to be friends and I did that to myself as well so now I don't feel any pressure or anxiety when talking with him and I just act as myself (which is so relaxing compared to when I was constantly overthinking everything i did around him). I like the relationship we have as friends but I do still sometimes wish for more.

I like not crushing on him consciously because i can be myself, but at the same time, i catch myself thinking about him or just giggling over how adorable he is or glancing at him whenever I see him.

I'm a little confused as to what we are right now, and more importantly what I'm feeling for him, and idk if maybe I might have a chance with him in the future? should I still make tiny attempts of flirting or trying to impress him or should I just let it be and go on its own course?

(i dont even know what point I'm trying to make here - I just needed to vent T_T)

Just needing to vent is so valid.

I'll attempt to answer your questions still but if the vent is all you needed, then feel free to ignore me lol

It seems to me that you are friends. That doesn't change if someone is crushing on the other. Friendship is separate to romance, they exist side by side. You are friends and you have romantic feelings for him. That's okay.

Getting caught up in what feelings mean and what words to use, I often find isn't helpful. I had a crush on my best friend for four years. It didn't stop us being friends but our friendship felt closer and different to others I'd experienced. When I would get frustrated trying to label how it was more than just best friends but not dating because he didn't feel romantically back, it felt awful. The reality is, words are flawed. Capturing our entire complex history and my emotions for him in one word wasn't going to be possible.

And this can be true for newer crushes on friends too.

In regards to a chance in the future, you might! But equally, you might not. It's okay to have your feelings and not force them away if you don't want to. In my experience, crushes on friends are difficult to force away. But I would let it fade when it does. Clearly, he doesn't want to lead you on, so holding onto hope isn't going to help your friendship.

And on that same topic, I don't think you should try attempts at flirting. You've both decided to be friends and not pursue romance with each other right now, I wouldn't push that.

In saying that, having a crush can be fun and exciting, and you're allowed to exist in those feelings and enjoy them. If you don't like them, that's valid too! But you don't have to be ashamed of them and you don't have to force them away if you don't want to.

I hope this helps!

[husbandohunter]

Dear Father [Genshin Impact/Diluc x Reader]

Synopsis: Wherever you are wherever you may be, even if you are beyond my reach, I only wish to see you again. -from a letter lost in the wind.

(A story where you and Diluc somehow managed to meet Crepus)

Genre: all fluff

"I know how late I am to father's day but here's my father's day take on Genshin Impact! Just let Diluc be happy for once T_T Mihoyo pls."

============================

Discovering Master Crepus' old belongings was like wandering in a domain surrounded by ancient artifacts. Each piece holding the memory of someone you've never met.

The paintings. Master Crepus loved to paint. Typically birds were the main muse of this portraits since they deeply embodied Mondstadt's values for freedom which shows you how much he cherished this city just like his son did. In almost every hallway you walked through there was a collection of his paintings, some belonged to another artist but the majority was an original work. Diluc didn't have the heart to sell them.

Elzer. He was one of the oldest workers who served under the Ragnvindr name, ever since Master Crepus had appointed him during his earlier days. You were told that he treated everyone, both staff and noble, with equal respect. Almost all the denizens of Mondstadt knew this man for he was not only noble in riches but also in the soul.

"I'm sure he would have loved to meet you in person. Now that I think about it, you and Master Crepus are quite similar. Haha, it seems that Master Diluc was selective in terms of who he wanted for his future bride."

Elzer adds with a light chuckle but the statement only made you more curious. A man who affected the lives of so many others, he must have been a wonderful person.

Diluc. The bloodline Master Crepus left behind after his death, a piece of himself and the heir to the whole wine industry, his son Diluc. Although you could see the resemblance in appearance, both of them were men of prinicples and values, putting Mondstadt first before anything else and you suddenly realized if that was the reason why Diluc was so protective of this city. As if, it were everything he had? You could tell he loved Master Crepus very much, not because he said so, rather the painful expression buried deep within his crimson glare whenever someone brought up the topic. Diluc was skilled in hiding himself, it's something he practiced over the years of working alone, though he lowered his guard as long as you were the only one present.

Even so, he had many conflicts still wringing him internally and you didn't want to push him until the day he felt ready to personally tell you himself.

But it would be nice if he opened up, just a little bit.

There were times when you would worry since Diluc had the tendency to hide his feelings for the sake of not troubling you. He wanted to keep life simple and bright, bringing the best to the table while making sure that you lived safely out of harm's way. You couldn't seem to get him to understand that as lovers, you would be happy to help him, in anything. Unconditionally. It was natural for you to feel the need to force yourself in every once in a while and there was nothing more you wanted to know than the story of the man who raised him.

You would even jest on the idea of what it fel like to meet Master Crepus in person. Were you able to reach his standards by any chance? Would he have liked you just as everyone claimed? Of course, they were only silly indulgent thoughts so you quickly dismissed them in the end. Bringing back the past was impossible no matter how badly you wanted it. You closed your heart on that possibility.

On a lovely evening, while you and Diluc were taking your time off Angel's Share to make a stroll around Mondstadt's quiet streets, a strange merchant called over to you. She displayed various antiques ranging from different sizes to designs, none of them seemed to haven been carved in the same place but distinct cultures throughout Teyvat. The only thing they had in common was that they were all equally beautiful to the eye.

However a particular item of what looks like to be a heart locket snatches your attention and you instantly became mesmerized, allured by it's mysterious charm.

"Ah, the locked heart caught your fancy, my lady? It's said once you open it, you will be set free."

"It's magnificent..." you muttered, staring unabashed at the shining surface.

Diluc who was observing from behind folded his arms and tilts his head, "How much is that?"

Although you intended to simply inspect the choices, your lover immediately offers to pay. They all already gave the impression of a hefty price and you didn't want him to spend his fortune on things that deemed unecessary. Still, this wasn't the first time it happened. Diluc would always insist whenever you protested against him from buying anything, it was just a way of expressing his affections towards you. Mora was never a problem and you were priceless. That's how he sees things. You had to remind yourself to be careful when stumbling upon a bustling area full of salesmen next time.

"Five hundred thousand mora."

He purchased it without hesitation.

On your way home, Diluc noticed that something was amiss. You couldn't tear your gaze from the locket as if it had hypnotized you by the golden smooth surface. He had to ensure you didn't run into anyone by accident, tugging your arm closer so that it gave him an opportunity to lead you where you yourself could not. Surely it must have been the appearance but instead of being drawn by, you were drawn in. Completely.

I wonder...what will happen if I open it?

"(Y/n)?" Diluc narrows his eyebrows together. Did you like it that much? No, he knew you weren't the type to be so etranced by jewelry, this was certainly different. Even the merchant seemed a little suspicious when she approached you and Diluc couldn't ignore the heavy sense of aminosity that was emitted around her aura. He couldn't think within her presence but now that his mind was much clearer, he was able to use his skillful judgements.

"Wait...! Don't open it yet-"

However, he was too late.

The wind picks up at an alarming speed and you both brought up your arms to block the debris that had flown in the way. They swirled in non-stop motion until your worlds were engulfed with not even the sky in sight. Amidst the turmoil Diluc latchest onto you and holds your body close his chest as he was determined to protect against any force that dared to hurt you. Something heavy knocks his head and he winces, tighting his hold even further. Your voice could hardly be heard with all the noise that rung around and eventually you discovered the the world wasn't disappearing. You both were.

The last thought you had was the image of Master Crepus and you didn't know why.

---

"Diluc? Diluc?"

He faintly heard his name through a series of echoes. Diluc fights to regaind concousness, feeling your grip upon his shoulder while trying to urge him awake.

"Diluc are you alright?"

Your worried face was the first thing he sees other than the fog that looms above. Diluc blinks a few times in an attempt to ease his migraine, using one arm to force his body into a seating position as he allowed himself to be supported by you at the same time.

"Does your head hurt?" You ask, palming gently against his forehead to feel the heat. Even if her was usually very warm, there was no unusual rise in tempurature, something must have hit him instead, "Here, maybe this will help."

Bringing out your hand you concentrated on generating the water through your fingertips. Having a hydro vision meant you were capable of healing magic which Diluc appreciated since he often came home late at night with injuries hidden behind his sleeves. But nothing came out and he became even more suspicious of the situation.

"Eh? What's going on?" You blurted out, patting down your clothes and your pockets, "My Vision, it's gone too!"

"Mine as well," Diluc flexes his fingers to test his own element, "It seems that our powers were sealed once we entered this domain."

"A domain that prevents you from using a Vision? That doesn't sound very comforting," you scratched your head, suddenly remembering the cause of your current problem, "The locket...it's all starting to make sense now. Ugh, I should have listened to you earlier, I'm sorry Diluc."

"No (Y/n), you don't have to apologize," he interjects and you returned a curious glance, "I should have stopped you the minute I discovered there was something strange. I was too careless."

"You felt that too? I thought I was the only one," your tone and face mimics one of surprise. The fog continues to dance around, enclosing the two of you to the small area. You lifted your head and looked above in deep contemplation, "When I saw the locket I couldn't tear my eyes off of it, like something was pulling me in. Like...there was a spell casted on it."

"What do you mean?" he asked in an inquisitive manner.

You nod, "I can't put my finger on it bit Ifel that the locket wanted me to..." balling your fist upon your lap, you stared intensely at the floor as if drilling holes into them while digging into the depths of your mind for any specific clues. Initially you thought the locket was so captivating that you were simply charmed by it's craftmanship. But tere was more than that, you began deciphering, there was also a need for fulfillment. A yearning desire, "to know. The locket was calling me to know."

'Once you open it, you will be set free.'

"To know..." you trailed off. How strange. No matter how much you tried to rationalize, you were always brought back to the same square as if the locket knew exactly what you wanted. What you were lacking. Because the one thing you wanted to know most about was the person you've never met, "Someone very important to you."

The fog dispersed.

Diluc instinctively puts an arm in front of you defensively as he scanned his quick and thorough eyes around the area. It didn't take long for him to know exactly where everything was. In fact, the abrupt change isn't what puts him on high alert, but it was how familiar everything looked to the point he evaluates if there was any reason to be skeptical or if he should be breathtaken.

"What a beautiful house," However you didn't recognize it. Diluc knew because he had yet to meet you during the time he lived in this estate, "I wonder who does it belong to?"

"Father's old mansion...how?" Diluc breatlessly mutters, as if seeing the supremecy of Celestia for the first time. When years passed after his father died, he chose to sell off the majority of his belongings, the mansion being on for example. Currently it was in the possession of a well-known business associate that used to be a friend of Crepus. The mansion would likely have looked much different due to the renovations it gone through but Diluc remembers the picture as if this were yesterday. Everything was in tact. The vine yard, the gazebo where they drank tea, the hill that he and Kaeya used to race on when they were kids-

Revelation burns in his pupils as his eyes expanded.

"Welcome home, my son."

Both you and Diluc fall wordless at the sight that appeared like a miracle's blessing. Crepus stands at a distance, the graceful smile complimenting his warm features. He looked exactly how the court artists portrayed him in the Ragnvindr's family picture. Sharp face with gentle eyes and an aura that was as pleasant as what Elzer described.

"So this is why the locket was calling to us," you whispered, "I guess the mora really was worth it after all."

"...Fa...ther...."

You snuck a glance at Diluc. From behind the resemblance was as clear as dawn, like you were staring at a carbon copy of Master Crepus himself. Almost. He was a less hardened version of Diluc during uncommon situations. It made you think just how much you didn't know before his father passed away. What kind of person was this man during his days as a knight? You never had the chance to know.

"Father is that really you?" Diluc couldn't help his voice from trembling, paralyzed in place when he could hardly make sense of what stands in front of him. The person he longed to hear from, the person who left the world too quick, Diluc was afraid to get his hopes up in case his father suddenly disappeared and everything was just an illusion conjured by his mind. He was already used to being betrayed and dealt with disappointment too often. Which is why he learned to trust only himself. But, right now, can he really trust himself?

Feeling your hand gently on his shoulders, Diluc was brought back to reality. You smiled with warm reassurance that bled into your voice, "It's okay Diluc. Go, I'm here for you."

There was the faintest light shining in his eyes as emotions swell in his chest. Ever since you came Diluc never had to feel alone anymore, truly, you were the light that was brought back into his eyes, to his life when he gave up the thought of seeing it again. If he couldn't trust himself then at the very least, he could trust you.

"Thank you," he embraces you wholly like you were everything, and you were, before letting go and taking off to the otherside.

The air hits him in a rush and knocks the ones out of his lungs, "Father!" Diluc yells with tearful eyes. For the first time in a long while he was finally letting his feelings run free, "Father!" A name that felt foreign upon words that is pushes him forward, wanting to claim the truth that was smiling from afar.

"Father!"

Crepus lifted his arms and openly catches Diluc when he crashed into him. Here. He was here. He certainly was.

"Haha its been a while hasn't it my son?" He begins, encasing Diluc in a hug like he did the day he turned eighteen. Crepus was a tall man and his genes seemed to have went through. Back when they were younger, Diluc managed to only reach the blade of his shoulders, just barely. Now they were practically the same height, "Look how much you've grown over the years. There were so many things I planned to say but I don't know where to start."

Seven years. That was how long Crepus spent alone with his thoughts. He saw what happened through that time span, the truth about the Knights and Kaeya's origins. To say that none of that bothered him would be a lie. Especially when his son was the most impacted throughout all the events.

"Father I...I-" Diluc tries to speak but the words dissolved the moment it reached his tongue. He wasn't the type to be very good at expressing emotions. None of it could simply be communicated by sentences. For him, actions spoke louder yet somehow, they still wouldn't be enough. Nothing can comprehend the weight of seven years.

Crepus seemed to have understood and fills in the gap instead, "I have also missed you and Kaeya. More than I can even say. It must have been so hard for you both to endure it all by yourselves. Life hits us when we least expect it but despite that, you still chose to persevere."

Diluc clenches his hold, face buried in his shoulders and mouth quivering as he barely answers, "Yeah."

"You're both my pride and joy no matter what happens, as a father I cannot be more proud," before knowing, everything that was said came out naturally from his spirit. Crepus may have his own set of things to share but he knew what Diluc needed the most, "So please don't stop relying on one another, don't always think that you have to do everything alone. Stength is a virtue. However, its okay to let go and allow new people to come into your life. I don't need to be avenged, as long as you and Kaeya are happy, its all I ask for."

As if the world had been lifted from his shoulders, Diluc allows himself to break just this once. On the outside, he was known to be an unstoppable force, the Mondstadt tycoon, the uncrowned king and a hero who serves at night. But here you saw only a boy who dearly missed his father as he hugs him tightly. Although you couldn't hear their conversation clearly, just watching them from where you stood was enough to make your eyes glisten from pure happiness.

"You finally chose to open your heart, right Diluc?" You quietly note to yourself, "You don't have to carry everything by yourself anymore, you're free."

'Once you open it, you will be set free.'

He was able to dwell in this one in a lifetime experience, all because you unlocked the heart and dispersed the fog inside.

They spent a good amount of minutes bringing the distance back together after being seperated for so many years. You made sure to make minimal movements in the consideration of their time. It was only temporary until Crepus noticed you standing in the distance and he gave you a quick glance. Your whole body tenses in response, suddenly feeling guilty as if you were a third wheel who didn't belong in the moment between two family members.

He's staring at me. Diluc's father is staring at me! Your thoughts panicked along with your thrumming heart. What should I do?!!

"I see you've brought someone along with you," He comments, the playfulness rising in his tone, "She seems to have been waiting for quite a while already. If you don't mind, may you do the honours of introducing her to me?"

Diluc turns to see you stiffened in place with your hands tightly clasped below your stomach and heat pooling from your ear to your cheeks as you dipped your head down. His father was a kind man and he couldn't understand there the discomfort came from, yet found it endearing nonetheless. Diluc walks over to you and extends his hand, silently urging you to come with him. You complied, albeit hesitantly at first.

"It'll be okay my love," he whispered softly, causing you to be taken aback by the nickname he called you by. Diluc often reserves them for special instances and this was one of them, "Whatever the staff told you about my father, they're the truth. Trust in their judgement. Trust in me."

"Diluc..." you say, voice fading. You knew him to be someone who always kept his word and someone who would never lie to you. Taking in a short breath, you nodded, "Alright, I will," and followed his lead.

There was once a time where you indulged in the idea of facing Master Crepus in person. But never did you prepare yourself for the amount of pressure it came with. Now that you were together with his son, there was a high chance that he would also become part of his family too, sooner or later. You weren't just meeting Master Crepus. You were also meeting your future father-in-law.

"Father, this is (Y/n)," Diluc starts the welcoming exchanges. You felt his hand squeeze yours gently. He turns to you so that you caught glimpse of his face, seeing the reverance in his gaze that was hinted among his handsome features, "She's the woman I fell in love with and I would do anything to make her happy. I cherish her more than anything else."

"D-Diluc!" you flushed, your embarassment as red as his own hair. But he wasn't bothered by it in the slightest.

"I only speak the truth."

Master Crepus lets out a content chuckle, drawing both of your attentions back to him, "He can be surprising poetic sometimes but I'm sure that he got it from me. Even my wife reacted the same way," he reminisced shortly before sighing, "In truth I already knew that you were together. Staying in the after life gave me the chances to watch things from an omniscient standpoint, I was sincerely worried how Diluc would handle things when I suddenly left, I hope you don't mind. If you do, I apologize for making you uncomfortable."

"N-Not at all!"

"Haha, you're very kind. Thank you. I'm glad that my son was able to find a woman like you to be his fated partner. As a parent, it brings me great reassurance," Crepus remarked, "I know he can be stubborn and a little too headstrong when it comes to making decisions. It really must be a handful for you to deal with at times but I promise you that he means well. So please continue to watch over him in my stead, take care of my son while I'm gone."

"You can count on me," you beamed, "I'll give it my all."

"You have my gratitude (Y/n)," Crepus replies and turned to Diluc, "And listen to her every once in a while. I may have been the previous owner of our wine industry but even I always make sure to get me sufficient amount of rest. Son you know its bad to get two to three hours of sleep every day."

You blinked, "Two to three hours?"

Diluc clears his throat, "I understand Father. You don't have to say it."

Oh I think he does.

With a satisfied grin, Crepus took both of your hands together in his and gave you his blessings. The man once considered to be an artifact through the vast mansion was going to be part of the memories in your life. All of your expressions held as much happiness as the future can become now that he gave you the closure you both needed.

[hecalledme-jagi]

Meet the Writer!

As my description says, I’m Jagi and this post will tell you a little about me and some of my boundaries for this account!

Boundaries

Before we can get into the fun stuff, I want to say that I am a devote Christian, and I have things that make me uncomfortable just as you do, so I hope that you will respect the boundaries I will lay out for you. If they bother you, then feel free to ignore my account!

I don’t write NSFW

I don’t write for the LGBTQ+ community

I don’t tolerate abusive/hate speech.

Feel free to ask me questions; however, I will ignore questions that are too personal.

Not really a boundary, just more of a disclaimer— Certain writing requests I’ll ignore. If I’m not particularly comfortable with the request, or if the request involves topics I’m not familiar with, I’m more likely to ignore them for clear reasons.

That’s it for now, and thank you in advance for respecting my boundaries ^^ I want this blog platform to be a place where I can enjoy the characters I love with other people that love them too, so I hope we can get along in that regard! Thank you again for the understanding.

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” - Luke 6:31

About My Name

So why did I go with the name Jagi? It's simple really, I love Hyun Ryu!

Zen is known for addressing Mystic Messenger's MC as Jagi or Jagia, which, for those unaware, translates to 'honey' or 'dear.' I fell in love with hearing him say "Jagi," so it seemed only fitting to continue using the cute pet name.

My Interests

I love movies, music, anime, books, manga, games, and pretty much anything considered nerdy.

My favorite genres for movies are thriller, war, drama, and romance.

Some of my favorite movies are, Ben-Hur(2016), Hacksaw Ridge, and Pretty in Pink.

When it comes to music I'll listen to pretty much anything, but my favorite band at the moment is Lunar Vacation and their album Artificial Flavors.

As for anime, my favorites are Haikyu, FMA/B, Snow White with the Red Hair, Spice and Wolf, and way more that I won't be able to put here T_T.

When it comes to manga I love Takane and Hana by Yuki Shiwasu Erased by Kei Sanbe, and Orange by Ichigo Takano. Of course there's plenty more, but I'll just give you my favorites.

As for books, I love The Giver by Lois Lowry, I'll read anything from Shel Silverstein, and I Had that Same Dream Again by Yoru Sumino.

I don't play games often, but my favorite games are Minecraft and Little Nightmares.

Fandoms I write for or are apart of

At the moment I write for Mystic Messenger and Tears of Themis. However, I only write for select characters of Mystic Messenger, as I have yet to complete the game(and you'll quickly learn who my favorites are in both fandoms lol)(to add, I'm aware that Mysme's fandom is pretty much dead, but its my comfort game T~T).

BTS Army is another badge I wear, but will rarely be seen on this account.

[theangryjikooker]

Hi, it's the ~UGH~ anon (not sure I wanna be called that way but for now it'll do!) I'm sorry that you spend most of your time dealing with hateful anons so I thought I'd share an unpopular opinion since it's the point of your blog I believe.

IF jikook is/was dating, I think it happened in early 2019 and at the end of 2020 and that both times it didn't last more than a few months. And that little people knew. The other member's behavior to me make it very obvious. Hobi seems to know stuff we don't, possibly Taehyung as well, but the others' reactions to jikook are just too genuine to be an act. When yoongi said 'it looks like what a couple would do' when jikook talked about the fight in the rain, it's pretty clear he's not thinking they actually are one. When jimin wrote the letter to Jungkook to make him say he's his copycat and Jin was like 'I'm sure it's something touching', he's definitely doing a bad job at protecting the closeted couple if that's what he's supposed to do.

I know those are small details maybe but they're too telling to ignore, I remember how upset it made me at the time because I really wanted for jikook to be real and the members were blowing holes in my ship T_T' Now I'm fine with jikook being whatever they want to be and I can actually think back to all the little things that bothered me before and accept them for what they are. I think many shippers prefer to twist or ignore altogether things like this. (definitely not only jikookers because other ships have way more holes and they're still sailing apparently!)

That being said, jikook give off a ~~vibe~~, that is literally impossible to deny. And I think that the problem with some shippers is that they can't just appreciate the vibe for what it is. They don't want to be delulu, they don't want to just have the 'feeling' that jikook are a thing. So they have to make it make sense in a logical manner, I guess. But it's ok to just have a gut feeling. It's actually more trustworthy than interpretations of very incomplete facts. Theories are fine. Turning them into assumptions is not.

Anyway I could go on forever because I have a ton of things to say about both jikook and shippers but I'll stop there for now. See u later ;)

LOL, you can be a part of my darling anons tag. 🤗

Overwhelmingly, I receive more support than hate, which I'm thankful for, but the hate does sound a lot more excessive for the "crime" that I'm committing. C'est la vie!

Thank you for sharing your (unpopular?) opinion! It's an interesting takeaway for sure, and I don't really know what to think of it LOL. Which is a good thing, I suppose. I guess I'd say I probably don't agree with your opinion that they could've been dating on-and-off. I think one could argue that because they're such a tight-knit group, that they could overcome breakups (if that really was a thing), but I'm not totally convinced of that.

To me, at least, it'd be weird to show the kind of affection they have since then. People, in general, can become more comfortable with each other after a breakup, after they've resolved their issues, because they know each other so well and no longer have an ego or suppressed feelings involved. Sometimes, this allows couples to reconnect with a new perspective and can engage in a relationship stronger than when they first started dating. It's something that can definitely occur, but honestly? Jungkook and Jimin don't really strike me as the type of people who could break up and not have their heart on their sleeves for a long time, even in front of the camera. At the very least, I have a hard time believing they'd be able to engage with each other in the manner they do if they were dating and then broke up. (But it's worth noting that I'm saying this based on how I perceive them, and maybe they would be okay with it. I don't know, I'm not them.)

If there's an idea I'm willing to entertain short of Jikook dating one another, it's the idea that there is a silent agreement between them that exhibiting behavior akin to dating without actually dating is acceptable. That's not to say they're in a FWB situation because I don't think they're fucking each other in secret (personally don't even want to entertain that at all because that's a huge violation of boundaries). A flirtationship, if you will. Gay culture in Korea, as we all know, is still not on the same level as western culture, and that's the looming shadow in any K-pop ship narrative.

I don't know. Their interaction varies from one end of the spectrum to another--purely platonic to extremely questionable--which is why I'm firmly in the Schrödinger's Jikook camp. I'm coining it, it's officially a thing now on my blog, because that is the best way to describe how I feel about Jikook. 😂

Anyway, thank you for your submission! I really enjoyed what you had to say, and this was probably one of the "harder" asks I've received because I really had to think about it. I really love asks like these that make me think about my own stance on something. Feel free to chat anytime, anon!

[crispy-chan]

jas darling, im so sorry you havent been feeling great. idk if we've interacted in the past, but i just wanted to say i love your blog! its always a pleasure seeing you come up on my dash, and i think i havent reached out before because you seem like a big blog and i didnt want to bother you. but it appears you want interaction so hi!! how are you??

im sorry to hear about your friend cancelling, im sure since they keep reaching out, they truly do want to connect with you, if they didnt like you anymore, theyd just ignore you, yeah? so maybe things keep coming up. it sucks, but hopefully youll get through it. maybe try and organise something smaller, if sleepovers consistently dont work? like meet up for lunch or dinner, watch a movie and then leave before people have to sleep. i know one of my friends has anxiety over people sleeping over so we generally just do everything we would with a sleepover, but leave before 10 or whatever. it might not work, but worth a try?

anyway i hope you feel a little brighter soon, know that even if it seems like people always put you second, there are people that care about you and want to spend time with you, even if theyre not very good at showing it. and if all else fails, you have us tumblr gremlins to keep you company

aelia <3

hello <3

i also don't think we have directly interacted, but i do remember seeing you in my notifs and perhaps even on my dash o.O

anyways, first of all, thank you <33 i'm really grateful for you reaching out to me. i feel like i'm just a broken record when i keep saying that half of the fun of writing is the interactions (and by that i don't mean only feedback!)

that's really sweet of you to say, i appreciate it <3 i'm just always confused when ppl call me a big blog and idk if i should be honored or if i should laugh T_T bcs i have no idea what makes people think that. for me, big blogs are the ones with thousands of followers who get all the asks, write really good stuff and actually create nice banners lmfao </3

but please, trust me when i say you're never bothering anyone!

we're all here on dumblr dot com writing ff or creating gifs, i think that speaks for itself T_T i feel like this is an escape for most of us or a way to further advance our goals in life (for the ppl who want to write profesh) but i genuinely don't think any writer/cc would be bothered by interactions, trust me <3

i'm doing pretty well ig, just a tad frustrated but what's new :>

but tbh, i'm hoping that what you say is true but it's starting to feel like it isn't... she's the only person who i really ever do sleepovers with so it isn't anything new, just that our plans never work out nowdays. it sucks bcs i know that in between the two of us having to cancel out plans, she hangs out/sleeps over at other people so like not to be that insecure bitch but i'm staring to fear that she just doesn't want to spend time with me...

thank you though, and i mean it. i'm genuinely crying right now idk what's wrong with me. i'm such an emotional person but reading this has brought me to tears.

i hope you know how much i appreciated you reaching out <33 i never want to force these things out of people but it seems like people just avoid me on purpose sometimes, ngl. my self esteem isn't exactly the highest even though i sometimes act all high and mighty...

thank you... i'm grateful to all tumblr gremlins, just letting you know :>

[hongism]

God damn girl how can you keep up with this blog and your project as well? I'm going to uni and it's literally killing me. I'm having a mental breakdown for almost every exam since my stress management is shit lol and having all the exams together in the same week doesn't give me time to distress so I just suffer 😂 I'm sorry people are bothering you about your stories, it's not easy to keep everything together, I hope they don't stress you too much and you can ignore them. Writing its a passion and you should do it freely whenever you want to without pressure. Think about yourself, the people following you can wait as much as you need. Good luck with your finals! 💕

-🐰

bestie let me tell you i am NOT keeping up well TBH !!! i’ve been so inconsistent with coming online and answering asks and writing and anything in general i still need to catch up on some posts on atzupdates too eep i may seem like i have it all kept together but i promise i do not T_T my stress management is just ‘avoid doing the thing you need to be doing by doing other things that you want to do but in turn make yourself more stressed to a point where you dont want to do what you wanted to do initially but you still dont want to do what you HAVE to do so you’re just gonna sit on the floor and exist’ that’s my stress management most of the time but im really trying to get better at avoiding that and have healthier and smarter management habits </3 

honestly the asks aren’t too much! the ones who are patient and encouraging impact me so much more and make me want to work harder for you guys and that’s a good thing it’s a good kind of wanting to work hard and do more ! so im taking my time and ensuring that what i do bring you guys is something i am proud of and that the quality of it is up to my own standards before i put it out to you guys !!! thank you for the love and well wishes 🥺💖💖

[janiedean]

Hi! I'm the Plato anon for before. First of, thank you so much for your offer, but I think I managed on me own. Second, could you elaborate on the "analysing as YA" vs "analysing as an adult" approach? I assumed that "discourse people" on this website generally don't go beyond "antagonist is bad because they are against the hero!" out of ignorance/lack of interest except to score Internet Fame Points, not that it was due a specific mindest. I also don't really read YA (except Tiffany Aching)

TIFFANY ACHING!! T_T ANON LET ME HUG YOU it’s like the only YA I actually liked in my entire life apart from nick hornby’s one book but that wasn’t typical lmao

THAT SAID, well your discourse people point is pretty much part of it but since I’m here and I can rant have the entire thing I was too tired to hash yesterday ;) so, in order:

first thing, we need to establish that ya books and **adult** books generally have different target audiences which is fine and good because obviously if you want to write a thing you’ll do that for An Audience That You Have In Mind; this doesn’t mean that adults can’t read ya or that teenagers can’t read **adult books** because everyone can read what they want (and personally for one I never cared for ya in my entire life not even when I was the target audience), but it simply means that some books are meant to be liked by one category first and eventual others later and they need to be talked about in that specific context first and everything else later - then there might be books that are aimed for kids/young readers or sold like that or that can be read on more than one level which can be appreciated for different things later in time (for example I read huck finn at sixteen and I absolutely loved it but it was a book that here is seen as good reading material also for eight year olds, and at eight I wouldn’t have liked it for the reasons I did at sixteen, and if I read it now I would still like it, while a bunch of the books for kids I read when I was seven is stuff I enjoyed then but forgot now and probably was good for that age but didn’t stick with me);

second thing, that means that when I discuss a young adult book aimed at teenagers I will never hold it to the standards I would hold a book aimed at a general adult audience, especially if it’s the kind of ya like dunno as stated the vampire diaries aimed at teenage girls which is obviously the kind where you have the fantasy world with the hot dark guy who swoons the high schooler protagonist off her feet etc because that stuff is basic teenage girl fantasy 101 and like... I’ll expect a bunch of romance tropes, the usual push and pull, the guy eventually being into her, the protagonist being someone a fourteen year-old can see herself in, probably a few sexual elements thrown here and there and so on, because that’s the shit marketed at fourteen year-olds who want to read that and like... it’s really not that deep. I can’t ask the vampire diaries to be moby dick because it’s not meant to be. or, if I read percy j/ackson - which is another thing I have zero interest in but I know about because I see tweets from the author - I expect to have a bunch of teens coming into their own coming from different backgrounds because the author wants to represent properly a lot of categories so most of his readers can have someone they can see themselves in and like if a thirteen year-old who suspects being lgbt or whatever sees themselves in the gay kid from per/cy jackson guess what that’s what that book is for, so I won’t judge it on like... being a faithful representation of greek myths or how good the style is or whatever, because even if to me it’s not top notch writing or has a plot idc about it has to be for teenagers and pre-teens, not for me, a thirty year old who again didn’t even like pre-teen aimed literature when she was a pre-teen;

third, I can extra clarify it using the damned hp discourse, as in: when I say I’m tired of people not reading anything else or reading everything like hp, it means that they read it when they were growing up/were teens and it was aimed at them which is fine, but then twenty fucking years later when the people in question are way beyond their twenties (guys I’m almost 32 and I remember when the first one came out come on) when talking about any single piece of media in existence (movies, comics, other books) use hp characters/situations as the terms of paragon - like guys I had to read sn/ape comparisons with theon and ky/lo ren on the basis that THEY’RE GREY CHARACTERS as if sn/ape is the only grey character that ever existed, people keep on talking about vold/emort as the only bad guy that ever existed and so on, and like... you can’t talk about, idk, asoiaf or any book aimed at an adult audience like you’d talk about hp, because at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if I read comparisons between sn/ape and ivan karamazov and I think I don’t need to specify how completely nonsensical that would be;

now, with all of this explained, what I mean is: ya in general - which is not a fault per se of the genre since it’s aimed at teens and pre-teens - tends to have... very fixed narrative schemes depending on which teens it’s addressing - like, stuff like tvd or twilight is obviously the romance teenage girl fantasy where you have the girl fighting to be with the dark beautiful supernatural creature in question, per/cy jackson is more like I’ll give you a bunch of relatable characters having cool adventures against bad guys with the occasional redemption so we can see that people are redeemable but you still have right vs wrong, hp is sort of like that in the sense you get relatable-ish protagonist with relatable friends growing up throughout the entire thing and fighting on the good side vs the evil side including the usual death of the mentor plus people who seemed bad actually not being bad™ except that PJ has more povs and better rep from what I gather but that’s not the point so it’s basically the growing up journey for the young protagonist(s) the kid sees themselves in, then there’s stuff like hunger games where you actually have the dystopian worldbuilding just written to be enjoyable by younger people who don’t want to get too depressed (and ngl I haven’t read the books but I’ve seen the first two movies and guys the way everyone ignores the classist commentary in thg to discuss the love triangle is... a staple of the problem tbh) but still try to introduce deeper themes and have more nuanced characters and at the same time are still written to be enjoyed maybe by the more adult side of the target, and at the same time I can’t say that thg is the same as 1984 when it comes to target audience because 1984 doesn’t make the ugly dystopian themes more accessible using the love story/teenage protagonist etc;

at this point the problem is: if you only ever read ya and nothing else in your life (which is what a lot of people here do - guys again when I got here in 2011 if people didn’t discuss hp they discussed john gr/een, the only *adult*-aimed book I see discussed on tumblr is asoiaf... because of got X°DDD) then you end up seeing every other piece of literature expecting what you do out of a young adult and then you expect adult literature out of young adults/ya to approach certain implications the way an adult novel would, which is... frankly ridiculous;

specific examples: I see blogs which are principally about like ya fantasy books ie acotar or shadow/hunters or whatever shitting on grrm because AAAAH HE’S PROBLEMATIC/MISOGYNIST/HE HAS VIOLENCE AND RAPE IN THE BOOKS BLAH BLAH and like... spoilers: if I wrote a fantasy series aimed at fourteen year-olds who want their fantasy romance with the hot dark guy who is maybe a tiny bit problematic but turns their leaf for them I would hold back on blood and violence, if I wrote a fantasy for adults where I want to be realistic about misogyny I will not, and the fact that grrm gets judged on what happens and not how he writes it (and again, saying that a guy who has 1/3rd of his pov characters female except that it’s actually 50/50 because there are no throwaway povs except for mel while guys have a lot more of them and all the female povs have narrative weight [and mel has it before she gets one] and all of them have a different personality and he also has the same trope [brienne and arya] in two people with wildly different personalities and needs which is basically a goddamned miracle is a misogynist because there’s misogyny in his fantasy world is ridiculous imvho) which is.... exactly expecting of asoiaf what you’d expect out of acotar, when grrm and acotar’s writer write for wildly different audiences. now, if I had read acotar at 15 and asoiaf at 15 I’d have had no doubt re asoiaf being more my thing because again the subgenre acotar goes for is not my thing because I never related to that fantasy while brienne is my rep, but in general a 14yo girl who likes the acotar-like stuff will not care for grrm.... which is normal because grrm writes for adults of both genders, not teenage girls (I mean teenage boys also have their own subgenres for which the same rules are valid), and someone who likes percy jackson (aimed at both genders but like... pre-teens early teens) who doesn’t gaf for grrm won’t because it’s not aimed at them unless they like grrm for other reasons ie idk they realize that they relate to jon snow idk but you see my point, so like tldr that’s what I mean with if you only read ya you’ll expect adult writers to handle their themes like ya writers would and like... sorry but if I write stuff for adults I won’t feel the need to specify that the bad guy is B A D with neon lights because an adult should grasp that from the narrative, I don’t need to make sure it’s obvious bc it’s aimed at kids;

reverse: when I see people saying ‘the vampire diaries is problematic because it’s about people who are a hundred years old preying on teenage girls so we need to stop teenage girls from reading that kind of thing because it makes them think it’s okay to go with someone that much older than them’, we’re at the opposite problem in the sense that you’re asking a young adult novel what you would ask of AN ADULT NOVEL when there’s no point in it. like, a teenage girl knows perfectly that damon salvatore doesn’t exist and vampires don’t exist and werewolves don’t exist - the entire point of tvd is that she gets to fawn over the hot supernatural dude who changes for the better thanks to the female protagonist she most likely sees herself in and she gets to have a few nice fantasies about that which is like... normal for people who are developing their sexualities, most people wouldn’t actually want damon salvatore the way he’s exactly in canon irl because they know it’s a fantasy and so it should stay. like, sorry but as someone who watched the show because ian somerhalder is hot in her twenties and tried the first book and gave it up at page 30 because I couldn’t do it, I can 100% assure anyone that the biggest issues with tvd books are that the writing is really fucking bad (for my standards at least), with the tvd show that from S4 the writing spiraled downwards and no one wanted the magical vampire pregnancy witch twins ridiculousness, but none of the content actually was shit that anyone would take seriously like that and I wouldn’t expect tvd to approach that subject realistically. if I read a vampire book aimed at adults who actually wants to write such a relationship as creepy WELL YES OF COURSE I’D EXPECT IT TO BE OBVIOUS ABOUT IT BEING CREEPY, but if it’s aimed at freaking teenagers... it’s a fantasy and not really that deep, take it for what it is and let teenage girls enjoy thinking about smooching damon salvatore (or stefan or whoever) without assuming they need to be protected from Horrible Vampire Fiction™, same as no one goes bitching about unrealistic sex scenes in serialized romance books because people read them because they’re unrealistic and escapism, not because they expect nobel prize worthy exploration of themes from them;

now, ^^^^^^ would not happen if people actually read variedly and studied some decent lit analysis in school - but like, after I had to read I think at some point that of mice and men is ableist... THAT’S the damned point - with ya you can take a lot of the plot at face value, with adult lit you can’t and you have to see motivation beyond the action of the characters and you can’t do that if you only read books aimed at pre-teens/teenagers where obviously that’s... more spelled out than it would be in a book aimed at an adult audience;

that by the way also means wildly missing actual adult themes discussion in ya, because again, I haven’t read thg but from the two movies I’ve seen it’s fucking obvious that the whole thing is an anti us-classism commentary from how the districts are built to how the games are rigged to pretty much everything in the worldbuilding, but all the discourse I see on tumblr is about either the love triangle or katniss being miscast or president snow being a jerk and whatever else, but I never once saw anyone saying ‘heeeeey the people in katniss’ district are an in your face metaphor of poor people in the us of a belonging to certain categories while the first few districts are absolutely the 1% and the entire point of it is that she wants to tell you A CLASSIST SOCIETY IS BAD AND WILL LEAD TO REVOLUTIONS’, which to me was... like, glaring, it was literally what 90% of the entire thing was about and no one ever discusses it in a fandom-wide sense (I mean... I saw a bunch of hg posts back when the movies came out, I never saw this brought out), which... is a problem because it means that the moment people are put in front of a ya product that actually tackles that kind of issue.... they go and worry about the love triangle (which seemed to me the excuse to draw the people in the story) not about the social commentary, and like, maybe a twelve year-old won’t catch on the social commentary, a twenty-year old especially from the us should, and I don’t see that happening;

and sorry but that is because if you only engage with content aimed at a younger audience than your target first you assume that every piece of literature should be consumable/readable/enjoyable by a younger audience (and sorry but no, some of us don’t want to write stuff making sure teenagers like it) and then ask of actual ya media to cater to their *adult* needs and not to the needs of the target audience because wow obviously if you’re 25 you won’t want out of literature what you wanted at fourteen;

and this also is valid for children’s media because again, I’m cutting it short, but adults watching st/even universe and sending people death threats because they don’t agree with their opinion of a cartoon aimed at an audience that’s at moooostttt eight years old is a thing that shouldn’t even fucking exist, and if you think steven/universe is that important at an adult age you need to re-assess your priorities;

tldr: adults should not expect media aimed at kids/teens to cater to their interests and shouldn’t analyze it the way they’d analyze a piece of media aimed at an adult audience and should not presume that every piece of media should have the scope/schemes of medias aimed at kids/teens because some of us don’t want to read that.

now, I’ll leave you with a nice short anecdote which hopefully will further clarify what I mean and add to another point which would be, kids and teens don’t give a fuck about what you, an adult, do: when everyone was in a frenzy about my little pony back in 2013 or so I had to see a ton of posts like ‘AAAAAH MEN/BOYS WHO ARE INTO MLP ARE STEALING THE SHOW FROM YOUNG GIRLS HOW DARE THEY ENJOY IT WE NEED TO KICK THEM OUT’ with added people saying that a ten year old male kid who tried to kill himself bc his friends bullied him bc he liked mlp deserved it and the likes, my only thought was that... when I was 8-10 in elementary school and was actually the target for cartoons and stuff, sailor moon was the rage between all girls my age me included, we’d spend recess playing pretend (and I’d get stuck playing sailor mars bc no one wanted her, sad) and our hugest first world problem in existence was that we needed technically a mamoru and of course no self-respecting boy in elementary school would have admitted under death threats to watching sailor moon because it was a girls’ thing (aaaaah gender roles in the early-mid 90s, how fun) so everyone despaired because ofc no one wanted to play mamoru... and the few times any guy actually showed up like HEEEEY I WANNA DO IT BUT PLEASE DON’T TELL MY FRIENDS I LIKE SAILOR MOON we’d all be like OMG YOU’RE OUR NEW FAVORITE PERSON PLEASE YOUR SECRET IS SAFE because we couldn’t believe we found the magical boy™ who wanted to do it, and if anyone had told us that the kid in question was stealing sailor moon from us we’d have laughed in their face.

like.

kids don’t ask of media what you, an adult do, and it’s unfair of you, an adult, to ask children’s/ya media to cater to your damned interests, which are amply catered to by the tons of adult literature around which also forces you to push on your views and read more challenging things and to not read/watch stuff at face value, which is why I would really appreciate it if the amount of 20yo people on here who I consider adults engaged with more adult media and let themselves be challenged instead of just going back to ya/kids’ things, which are good for teens and kids and can be enjoyed by everyone but should not be the only goddamned genre you measure all other literature against because then you get people saying that lolita is pro-pedo when it’s exactly the goddamned contrary, but if you think that pov character = protagonist = good guy (which is... staple kids/ya stuff for obvious reasons) then you decide that humbert humbert is someone you’re supposed to root for. too bad that you’re not and the author was an actual csa victim so it’s a completely ridiculous reading that wouldn’t happen if you didn’t read lolita the way you read hp.

... okay, I’m done, sorry for how long this was, I hope it cleared things for good xD

[mysticdrabbles]

hi, could i get RFA/V/Saeran when they find out MC is jewish? maybe they come home and she's preparing for shabbat (sabbath) or something? recent antisemitism (*cough cough* the "are jews people" segment from CNN) has been really getting me down and making me nervous and i'm just so tired lol i'm sorry if you want me to elaborate on shabbat i totally can, i don't mind

Eyyyy guess who’s a year late to this T_T I hope every Jewish person reading this is having a wonderful day. (Also, I learned all I know about this stuff via Google so if I got anything wrong please, please feel free to correct me!)

Happy Hanukkah! ^^ 

Zen: 

The first time it comes up is about a month into your relationship.

Once you reach the point where you’re spending practically every day together because his day isn’t complete unless he gets to see your beautiful face~

(insert Zen wink emoji)

You’re a little nervous the first time he comes over on a Friday evening

Not that you’re ashamed of your religion, of course! It’s just that the news lately has you kind of worried that he might be… you don’t know, but you’re worried.

When he gets to your place after his rehearsal is over he finds you cooking.

“What’s the occasion, babe?”

“Just preparing for shabbat.”

The word sounds kind of  familiar but he can’t quite place what it is please don’t be offended by his ignorance.

You explain to him that it’s the Jewish day of rest.

He’s basically kicking himself now, because he knew that. 

(He played a Jewish character once, he can’t believe he forgot!)

He listens respectfully to the rest of your explanation 

And he’ll be as involved with this and other traditions as you feel comfortable with. 

He personally isn’t religious but he has nothing but respect for you and your religion.

His own ignorance has also made him realize that he doesn’t really see much of the Jewish faith in films and musicals?

Congrats, Zen is now an official advocate for proper Jewish representation in media!

If ever he’s in a play or film where a character is Jewish, he’ll run everything by you to make sure it’s both accurate and non-offensive.

And when a director refuses to change something after you explain that it’s a not only a false stereotype but a harmful one 

He quits the play on the spot.

His agent warns him that it’s not a good idea to get publicly involved in any kind of political argument, but he doesn’t care

“There’s nothing political about whether or not to be a decent human being and respect others.”

Yoosung:

When he cooks a meal for you, he doesn’t think to ask if you have any dietary restrictions, religious or otherwise.

And of course, tonight he decided to try a pork bulgogi recipe he found online.

Which is… sweet and all. 

But unfortunately, you have to explain to him that you’re Jewish, and you don’t eat pork.

He immediately regrets the oversight, 

He’s sorry he didn’t ask first.

Honestly, he didn’t even think to ask you about your religion.

He isn’t really religious himself and he just doesn’t think of this stuff most of the time?

Now that he knows he asks you a bunch of questions to make sure he doesn’t do or say anything wrong.

(boy’s sitting on his computer googling “how to not offend my Jewish s/o”)

He looks up Jewish recipes and practices them until they come out perfect.

He also makes a list of the foods that you don’t eat.

He’s sitting at his computer taking notes as though there’s gonna be a test or something.

It’s not just fear that makes him want to learn about your faith though. He also actually likes the religion?

Jewish religion and traditions all sound lovely? You sound like such great people? And he already knows you specifically are a great person, so that’s one point in their favour.

He’s absolutely terrified to meet your family.

Are they going to hate him because he’s not Jewish?

Should he convert? 

(You assure him that he doesn’t need to do that.)

He’s also super fast to jump on anyone who makes anti-semitic comments, both online and in real life.

Someone on LOLOL makes a gross, offensive comment and he gets his guild to literally destroy the guy

The jerk can’t go anywhere without Yoosung’s guildmates immediately killing him

Yoosung and his guild are savage and they do not tolerate this kind of hatred and disrespect.

Jaehee:

Jaehee has come in contact with all kinds of people from various parts of the world during her time working for Jumin.

So she respects all faiths and all cultures.

Your faith in particular  comes up one morning, when she hears you praying.

She asks what it is you were just reciting

(She waits until after you’re finished, of course. She would never interrupt you.)

You tell her that it’s a Jewish morning prayer.

Unlike the last two guys, Jaehee doesn’t need to ask many questions. As mentioned before, she’s met with other Jewish people before.

She doesn’t know everything, of course.

Just the basics.

And she’s more than willing to ask you about the details and things she’s not sure about. 

Not because she’s worried about messing up or getting anything wrong

She just wants to know more because your faith is a part of you, and she takes interest in every part of you and your life.

And despite her being Catholic and you being Jewish, there won’t be any conflict. She has nothing but respect for your religion.

She finds devotion to faith admirable regardless of what faith it is. 

Each of you follows your own traditions and beliefs and you respectfully support each other.

She’ll accompany you to the synagogue if you’d like, and she’ll invite you to her church as well though it’s certainly neither an expectation nor a requirement for you to go.

Basically she just… understands 

And engages in healthy communication whenever possible.

Because Jaehee is like a pro girlfriend.

Jumin:

Like Jaehee, Jumin has come across people of all cultures thanks to his work. 

He’s even been to Israel on a business trip before, so he knows a bit about what Judaism is.

Actually, Jumin finds it quite fascinating to learn about other cultures and beliefs. He loves meeting different kinds of people with different ways of life.

He honestly finds everything about your faith interesting

And you can bet he’s going to ask tons of questions.

He wants to know everything.

He wants to know about all of your traditions and ceremonies and symbols…

Everything.

He’s not trying to interrogate you, or be intrusive. 

He just wants to know, both because of his personal interest in other cultures and his personal interest in all things related to you.

He offers to hire you the best cooks he can find to prepare you meals for shabbat

But you tell him that you’d rather do it yourself because it’s more meaningful to you.

He nods thoughtfully

“I see.”

He then calls Jaehee to clear his schedule for the day so he can stay home and help you personally

He’s not the greatest help

Read: he can’t cook for shit and he somehow set the deep fryer on fire

But he can do menial tasks and keep you company while you work.

He just wants to be with you and be part of your life.

Of course, he can’t take a day off every week.

(Jaehee would die of stress)

But he tries to at least come home early enough to help if you need him.

He doesn’t interfere or anything, especially if you don’t want him to.

Mostly he just sits with Elizabeth the 3rd and watches you.

He also likes being present during the Kiddish, when you say prayers over wine.

(He likes anything that involves wine.)

His father might be a little concerned at first about him being in a serious relationship with you.

(He has nothing against Jewish people. He’s just worried there will be conflict since you’re Jewish and the Hans are Christians.)

But you win him over with your respectful attitude and your love for Jumin.

And if anyone else comments on Jumin Han having a Jewish significant other, Jumin is cold and savage.

(“How can you be dating someone who believes that?”

“You shouldn’t speak about others beliefs as absurd when you’re the one who has the ridiculous belief that I care at all what you think.”)

No one messes with his love and gets away unscathed.

Seven:

Literally the first thing he says to you when you tell him you’re Jewish is “that makes sense, I always thought you Israeli great.”

(*finger guns*)

There will be cheesy jokes whenever he can fit them in 

(When he finds you cooking in preparation for shabbat he comes up and kisses you. You ask why. He grins. “Just wanted you to know that I like you a latke!”)

And then there’s the sweater he buys for the holidays that features a menorah and the words “It’s Lit”.

But in all seriousness, he absolutely respects you and your beliefs.

I know it might not seem like it, since he’s so nonchalant and joke-y about his own religion sometimes

But he actually has a huge amount of respect for all religions.

Well, all religions that aren’t cults.

After all, he lived a pretty miserable, hopeless life before he found his religion. In a way, that church saved his life.

So he definitely understands how important religion can be to people.

And honestly, Saeyoung loves hearing about other religions and beliefs?

He thinks that every religion has valuable teachings. 

He’s not the type of person who’s going to argue the details of which religion got everything right. 

For him personally, identifying as Catholic is more a show of loyalty to the church that saved him as a kid. 

Not that he doesn’t believe in Catholic beliefs! He does, for sure. 

He just personally believes that it’s unlikely any one religion got every detail right.

(But he respects people who do believe in their religion 100% too! Again, his beliefs aren’t law. Maybe he’s right, maybe you’re right. He’s not going to argue about it.)

Also, can you speak any Hebrew? He’s not perfectly fluent but he’s decent and he always loves finding foreign language buddies. 

(And let’s be real he could become a master at it if he wanted to just give him like a week or so he really likes languages)

If you can’t speak much, maybe he could teach you if you want?

He’s also pretty excited to celebrate Hanukkah with you.

(He’s super excited because he was planning on building you something for Christmas but since Hanukkah has eight days that means that he can build you eight things!)

“Saeyoung, no.” “SAEYOUNG, YES!”

This is after checking with you that you wouldn’t be offended or uncomfortable if he does, of course.

If you don’t want him to participate at all he will politely and quietly sit on the sidelines until you’re finished with your prayers and ceremonies. He’ll follow whatever rules you chose to impose on him.

And as for antisemitic news stories…

Whenever a headline like that appears he hacks the tv station to change the words to say things like “New Study Finds that Jewish People Are 70.7% Cooler Than News Anchors”

Saeran:

Saeran walks in one day to see you putting out candles around the room.

“What are you doing?”

If it comes off as a bit snappy, it’s just because not knowing things makes him nervous sometimes. He’s not annoyed, he’s just confused and curious.

You explain to him that it’s shabbat tomorrow and you have to prepare.

He’s heard you say that you’re Jewish before but he doesn’t really know what it means other than the general fact that it’s a religion?

It’s never really come up in his incredibly sheltered life

And he hasn’t gotten an opportunity to ask you yet, until now.

You explain the concept of shabbat to him, and answer his occasional questions

(Things like ”What are the candles for?” and “Why Saturday?”)

Saeran is…

Wary about religion, to say the least.

Unlike his brother, he has no positive associations with religion. Definitely not enough positive associations to outweigh the negative ones he had with Mint Eye.

Don’t get me wrong, he heard nothing but nice things about it from Saeyoung when they were younger

But even that might have also caused a bit of jealousy-based resentment?

So organized gatherings of religion are a pretty hard no for him. The very idea of churches (or synagogues) scares him.

He’s sorry…

And… he’s not sure about big family get-togethers either. He doesn’t know if he’s ready for something like that yet. Or if he’ll ever be.

He’s sorry he’s sorry he’s sorry

He won’t stop you from doing anything, of course.

And he’ll help out around the house as much as he can with any cleaning and cooking.

And once he stops panicking at the thought of being surrounded by people considered “believers” again

(He knows it’s different, he’s sorry again)

He finds the whole thing… calming?

He sits quietly while you light candles and pray and just… soaks up the positive atmosphere.

As long as he’s not expected to participate in everything and you respect that he might not always be up for joining you for things

Then he’s perfectly fine with it.

V:

V has mostly positive memories of the holiday season.

And the negative ones he as are mostly only negative because they were the years he spent alone. 

The years that everyone he loved was too busy working to celebrate with him.

But for the most part, he associates Christmastime with good memories

Having a rare sit down dinner with his father

Sneaking out to exchange gifts with his mother (she would usually buy him art supplies, of course)

Attending mass with Jumin and his family

Exchanging gifts with Rika…

So of course he wants to share those positive memories and make new ones with you as well, no matter how new your relationship may be.

So he asks you what you usually do for Christmas

(Jihyun it’s October.)

(Yeah, but he has to start planning now if he wants to find you the best gift possible ^^;)

And he asks if you would be interested in celebrating it with him, maybe going to mass together?

(He’s slightly ignorant, yes, he grew up in a Christian neighborhood, he’s used to just being right with this assumption.)

You take this as a perfect opportunity to tell him that you’re Jewish

…oh. Oops.

He feels like he’s messed up or offended you.

That was never his intention, he swears.

Has Luciel invented a time machine yet because he could use one right now

The invitation to go to mass with him is still open, of course, and in return he could join you in attending your synagogue if you’d like. 

But if you’re not comfortable with that, that’s fine too! He can go to church with Jumin and meet up with you after.

He offers provide you with anything you need.

Ingredients for food, the nicest wines he has, the most ornate and beautiful menorah money can buy, literally name anything you want and it’s yours.

He’ll also buy you small gifts for each day of Hanukkah. 

A book he thinks you’ll like, a puzzle with a picture that reminded you him of you…

Nothing too big.

Until the last day of Hanukkah, when he hands you a large frame-shaped gift

As you’re opening it, he tells you that it’s the first major painting project he’s completed since becoming a professional photographer and trading his paints for a camera. 

“So bear in mind that I may be a little out of practice.”

(He’s nervous)

“Not to mention I technically specialize in landscapes and scenic paintings. I haven’t drawn something like this in a while, let alone painted one.”

(He’s so worried it’s not good enough, you want to open it faster just so you can assure him that it’s great, whatever it is.)

And boy is it great.

It’s a portrait of you lighting a candle on the menorah

And it is beautiful

The expression of pure peace on your face, your slight smile softened further by the gentle glow of the candlelight

The warmth that both your skin and your expression radiate

The reflection of the flame dancing in your eyes and making them sparkle

It’s incredible. 

He calls it “Faith”

Aside from the obvious reason, he says it’s because you restored his faith in both love and himself.

He’s actually debating making it his first public painted work, if that’s something you’d be comfortable with.

If not, then you can keep it and do what you like with it.

He just wanted to capture the feeling of happiness and… well, faith, that he sees in you when you practice any of your religious traditions. 

Because it’s beautiful.

And so are you.

Vanderwood:

Vanderwood isn’t really religious

But they also couldn’t care less about what other people believe 

(As long as it doesn’t hurt or otherwise negatively affect those around them, of course.)

So when they come home to find you lighting candles and praying they’re not really all that concerned?

(Well, their first thought is “where do we keep the fire extinguisher again?” but that’s mostly just an instinctive reaction to seeing fire after working with 707 for so long)

They listen to your explanation about shabbat because they respect you and therefore respect your beliefs

And they will absolutely make sure they don’t do anything that could offend you

(Not that they would say offensive things in the first place.

Mostly they’re worried they might misunderstand something or read false information.)

They actually kinda like the whole shabbat thing?

It’s nice to have something that’s a guaranteed fixed schedule. 

It makes them feel… stable.

In their old life patterns like that could be a weakness, since they make you predictable.

But now it comforts them to know that every Friday night and every Saturday they know  where to find you and what you’ll be doing

Oh, but there is one thing that they definitely need to discuss

They read that you’re not supposed to do certain chores on the day of shabbat.

Does that apply to them too? Is it rude if they do those things? What if they only do it when you’re not in the room?

They absolutely will refrain from all cleaning if you would find it disrespectful in any way

They’ll sit down with you and make a list of the things they are and aren’t supposed to do.

Even if you say you don’t mind if they do it as long as you don’t do them yourself, they’ll still try to get most of the cleaning out of the way on Friday night

And it becomes a weekly tradition for them to come over and help you by cleaning up while you’re preparing and cooking

(They’ll help with cooking too, especially if you’re not good at it. They’re not a chef or anything but they do know the basics.)

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