#The photo was from Saturday night when I set up my new living room

[zombearzilla]

Yo! I've been tagged by @cedartreestealeaves for my lockscreen//last song listened to//last image saved//last photo taken. Thanks, you rock!

I would like to tag @theredheadedhellcat @make-a-fist @sweetlilnectarine @peachykeendamsel @zombiegg @xvampycandyx @zestyzombie @gringo-ciaranella and @video-store-clerk if you're up for it.

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender - Ch. 24

You embark on a new relationship and find out problems about an old one. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-23 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: Just angst :) No use of Y/N. Whole fic is violent and smutty so Minors DNI. 18+ only

Length: 5.5k

Saturday, February 6, 2016 - Six Months Later

“Hey, be careful, you’re gonna break it if you keep pulling on it like that,” Derek rushed over, delicately pulling the camera from your hands. 

“Wasn’t going to break it,” you said, defensive. “These hands work with surgical precision, sir, I was just… leveraging it.” 

“Leveraging it the wrong way,” he smiled at you, shaking his head. He pulled the back open the other direction. “My camera opens differently than yours. See?” 

“I guess you’re the expert,” you rolled your eyes dramatically, smiling a little. 

“So they tell me,” he kissed you lightly. Even in the red glow of his homemade dark room, Derek was handsome. “OK, next you have to load the film…” 

He guided your hands through the process of getting your film set and ready before putting it into the chemical bath he had in plastic tubs in his bathtub. You sat on the edge of the tub, watching the pictures emerge. Andrew behind the front counter at the clinic, making a face at you and flipping you off. Jess standing profile and putting one hand against her growing stomach, her other one pointing at it as if to say “look what I did!” Derek looking out the window of your apartment with a cup of tea in his hand, lost in thought and unaware you were even taking his photo. Even one of Joel, raising his eyebrows at you as Tess leaned her head on his shoulder, smiling. 

“I can’t believe we’re actually printing pictures right now!” You rapped your nails along the chipped surface of the tub, grinning broadly. “I’ve never made pictures before!” 

“Truly a lost art form,” Derek smiled, sitting on the tub with his back against the wall, watching you. 

“All I ever did was drop them off at the Walgreens photo lab,” you said. “This is more work but a lot fucking cooler.” 

“Most cool things are a lot of work, unfortunately,” he said. 

“Ain’t that the truth,” you smiled a little. 

Derek and photography had become one of your favorite parts of life in the months since Tommy went out west with the Fireflies. You hadn’t really been looking for either one, just stumbled into both of them at once. 

About a month after the explosion, Andrew and Jess invited you over for dinner. Andrew had asked with such formality - usually it was just “Hey we actually got some decent shit, want in” not “We were really hoping you could join us on Sunday night” - that you’d gone to Tess and traded a few ration cards for a bottle of wine. Jess burst out laughing when you came in with it, which made you frown. It wasn’t until you and Andrew each had a glass - Jess begging off every time you offered - that they said why. 

“We’re pregnant!” Jess squealed it, grinning from ear to ear. 

It took you a second to figure out how to respond. If this had been before the outbreak, you would have shrieked and hugged her and asked for every possible detail. Now, you looked between them, concerned. 

“We figured the world might be fucked but you now what, we’re pretty happy we’re still around to live in it,” he said, holding Jess’ hand, an arm around her shoulders. “We could make life worth living for someone else too, right?” 

You smiled, a small smile but a smile. 

“You guys are going to be the most incredible parents,” you said, fighting back tears. “That baby… the luckiest baby on the planet.” 

You ended up thinking a lot more about what like had been like before and what it could be like in the future after that. Beyond just the medicine of it or how to better equip your students, you started thinking about what things you’d wanted for your child when that was possible for you. Things like a nursery and baby pictures and colorful toys. You wanted to give that to them, or as much of it as you could, anyway. 

So you’d started doing a little investigating in the underground markets, poking around to see what you could find to make those things happen. You met Derek in October when you were asking after Polaroid cameras at one of the stands. 

“Really, if you can just set one aside for me if you ever find one,” you were saying to the seller. “I’ll pay even a markup of whatever you’d sell it for normally, that and whatever film you have for it…” 

“Not gonna just sit on perfectly good product on the off chance you show up to buy it,” he said gruffly. 

“It’s for my best friends’ baby pictures,” you said, pleading a little. “They’re pregnant and I know they’re going to want pictures, who wouldn’t want pictures of their baby?” 

“If you want good baby pictures, you shouldn’t be looking for a polaroid, anyway,” the man who just came up to the stand said.

“Well I’m sure someone could take better pictures with a fancy camera,” you shrugged. “But it’s not like I have a darkroom at home.” 

“I do,” he said. 

“That doesn’t really help me though, does it?” You said, looking him up and down. He was handsome, his face sculpted, dark hair and light eyes, maybe a few years older than you with some salt and pepper starting in on his scruff. 

“Yes it does,” he said. You raised your eyebrows at him. “I mean, I could… develop them for you. Or you can do it. I have all the stuff, I can… I could just give you some of it…” 

“But I wouldn’t know how to use it,” you were smiling now. The man was getting gradually more and more flustered and it was hard to not find it charming. 

“Well, I could teach you,” he said. “Just sometime. If you wanted to learn. I used to teach photography before the world went to hell, I promise I’m not a creepy weirdo trying to get you into his dark room.” 

You laughed at that, you couldn’t help it. 

“Look, if you buy,” he paused, looking over the man’s limited stock. “This camera body,” he set a Nikon that looked to be about as old as you down in front of you. “And this lens,” he grabbed one that really didn’t look any different than the others. “I will pick up the tab for five rolls of film and develop them for you.” 

You turned to face him, crossing your arms and smiling. 

“But how would I find you to get you the film?” You asked. “I don’t even know you.” 

“Derek,” he held his hand out. You took it and gave him your name in return. “There, now we know each other. And you can give me your film…” he patted the pocket on his messenger bag until he found what he was looking for - a small notebook with a pen stuck in the spiral binding. He wrote something and tore the paper out, handing it to you. “When you meet me there at that date and time.” 

It was in a week, at an address not too far from the clinic. You pursed your lips a little, resisting the urge to smile bigger. 

“What if I’m busy then?” You asked. His face fell a little bit. 

“Shit, I’m sorry, I’m really bad at this,” he scrambled for the notebook again but you laughed and stopped him. 

“No, this is fine,” you said quickly. “I just really wanted to see what you’d do.” 

He shook his head and smiled a little. 

“Right, I deserved that,” he said, pulling out the ration cards to buy the film and handing them to the seller. He took them and gave the film directly to you. “So I’ll see you then?” 

“This will all be a pricy dust collector if you don’t,” you smiled. 

“Right, right,” he nodded. “I’m looking forward to it.” 

He turned to leave as you went to buy the rest of the camera, but then he turned, walking backwards past the other stalls. 

“I mean that, just so you know,” he called to you. “Really looking forward to it. Like, a lot.” 

You giggled like a school girl. 

You’d spent the next week taking pictures of life around the QZ. It was strange at first, trying to figure out what to capture. You didn’t want to take pictures of nothing, that felt like a waste. But waiting until only the good things or only the important things happened would mean you wouldn’t have a full roll of pictures until who knows when and that would make your meeting with Derek pretty useless. Well, useless beyond the fact that he was handsome and charming and you’d like to see him again. 

You filled up the roll of pictures and kept your fingers crossed Derek wouldn’t judge your lack of skills too harshly when he actually went to develop the film. When you met up with him, it was outside a warehouse where he worked. You’d ducked out on your evening break from the clinic, still in your lab coat. 

“I would have come to you!” He said, his eyes a little wide when you came up. “I was trying to be nice and not ask you to provide a location, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable I wasn’t trying to pull you away from saving lives and things…” 

“There’s a man bleeding to death right now but I figured, screw it, I have a date to keep,” you said, trying to keep your tone serious. Derek’s face fell for a moment before he glared at you. 

“You’re cruel,” he smiled a little. You smiled back. “So I know you just came to surrender your film but I thought I could try to bribe you and see if I could convince you to have dinner with me. Call it a trade, you give me the film and I give you food. I also brought wine because I didn’t know you were a doctor who had to go save lives after seeing me…” 

“Seems like you’re getting the short end of the stick here,” you said, handing him the canister of film. “I get dinner and developed pictures out of the deal.” 

“Nah, see, I’ve conned you into giving me your time so, really, I’m coming out way ahead,” he smiled, leading you to a small grassy area alongside the warehouse, away from much of the sound of the streets of the QZ. He’d set out a blanket and put out a spread of jerky and dried fruit and bread and you sat there, talking, for close to an hour. 

Derek had been a photography teacher in Maine during the outbreak and had been saved from being turned by the fact that he was newly divorced at the time, living on frozen dinners because cooking for one sounded miserable. He’d been at the Boston QZ since the middle of ’04 and taught a class at one of the other QZ schools - one of the schools for kids who weren’t wards of the state - about photography. 

“It’s weird not teaching anyone how to shoot anymore,” he said. “It’s all history and composition and the like, none of the actual skill. Not like FEDRA is pumping out cameras and film.” 

“I hear you,” you nodded. “You know how I teach frog dissection now? Diagrams. No actual frogs. It’s still surreal even though I’ve been doing it the FEDRA way far longer than I was the way I learned it.” 

You glanced at your watch in passing and almost jumped up. 

“Oh shit,” you said quickly. “I have to get back, I was only supposed to be gone like half an hour…” 

“Think I can bring you back your prints when you’re a little less pressed for time?” He asked. 

“Speakeasy, Sunday evening sound good?” You asked back. 

“I’ll be there.” 

Things with Derek were easy. Simple. He was sweet and understanding and seemed to be pretty crazy about you. The first time you made him cookies, he took a bite and grabbed you and kissed you on the mouth before his eyes went wide. 

“I’m so sorry,” he said quickly. “I’ve been wanting to do that for about two weeks and this cookie is so damn good I just didn’t even stop to ask…” 

You kissed him again just to calm him down. 

“You’re really a natural at capturing people,” he said once all your photos were printed and spread out on his living room floor. 

“Really?” You frowned, looking over the pictures. 

“Oh yeah,” he nodded. “You know just when to get the shot and you frame it up well. There’s some technical stuff here and there, sure, but you’ve got the eye, Hon.” 

He picked up the picture of Joel and Tess. 

“This is a great one,” he said before he frowned a little. “Don’t think I’ve met them. New friends of yours?” 

“The opposite,” you laughed a little. “I’ve known Joel… God, almost 20 years now. Jesus, I’m getting old. We just haven’t always talked during that time. We’re barely back on speaking terms now, trying not to rock the boat.”

“Sounds rough,” Derek frowned. 

“In fairness, the world did end in there,” you shrugged. “So I think some slack is due.” 

You’d been seeing Derek for more than three months and it was the first relationship you’d had that didn’t have the omnipresent cloud of Joel hanging overhead. With Tommy gone, he hadn’t come up. It made things easier. Your feelings weren’t different, they were just easier to take. 

Since the explosion the year before, you and Joel had struck a somewhat uneasy balance. You were no longer precisely avoiding each other you just… weren’t really seeking each other out. But every now and then instances happened like last week, where Tess wanted to meet and Joel just… tagged along. He mostly just sat there quietly, drinking a beer while you and Tess chatted a bit about goings on around the QZ and things you might need from the outside to continue your research. You got notes from her on things they were encountering outside the walls and what would be helpful to help them survive. Joel just… watched you. 

“Weird question,” you said as you finished your beer. “With Andrew and Jess expecting, I’ve decided to become the official photographer of the QZ’s greatest baby and have been practicing. Can I take a picture of you guys? I need more models.” 

Joel looked like he was about to protest but Tess elbowed him. 

“We’d be honored, Doc,” she said, leaning her head on Joel’s shoulder. You snapped the photo and smiled. 

“I’ll give you a print when I’ve got them,” you said, stashing the camera away in your bag again. 

“How are you developing that, anyway?” Tess asked as you gathered the rest of your things. 

“Oh,” you glanced quickly at Joel before looking back to Tess. “My boyfriend is teaching me. He was a photography teacher before so he’s basically spent the last decade and a half just collecting photography things. Think he’s just happy to have a student again, to be honest.” 

“A boyfriend,” Tess smirked at you. “You’ll have to tell me all about him next time we meet.” 

“We’ll see if he sticks around once he’s got nothing left to teach me,” you winked at her. Joel was looking at you, eyebrows drawn together, jaw set firm. “Good to see you both. Let me know if you need anything before we see each other again.”

Joel’s eyes were on you until you left. 

“I did make an extra print of this one,” Derek said, a little sheepishly, holding up a self portrait you’d taken in front of your mirror. It was after a long day at the clinic. You’d taken off everything but your tank top. Your hair was still braided, the ribbon hanging from the end only half tied and there were splotches of blood on your skin. You looked exhausted but determined. “If it’s OK with you, I’d like to keep it.”

“If that’s one you really want,” you shrugged. “Definitely better pictures of me out there. You should know, you’ve taken, like, all of them.” 

“I like this one,” he said, half smiling a little. “I like seeing how you see yourself.” 

“All yours then,” you said. 

When you made it home that night, you took all the photos out, looking them over. You had extras of your friends to give to them but you kept coming back to the picture of Joel and Tess. The lines of his face were crisp and clear, the grays coming into his hair standing in sharp contrast to the darker strands. He was making eye contact with you through the camera, his dark gaze heavy even through the lens. You looked into his eyes now, the first time you’d really had a chance to in so long. You traced the outline of his face with your fingers before you put the print in your drawer, where it couldn’t make your heart ache until you let it. 

You hadn’t expected to see Joel and Tess quite so soon, but when Elias called a full staff meeting Monday afternoon, you made a plan to go straight to Joel’s after the clinic closed. 

“As of now,” Elias said, handing out sheets of paper. “FEDRA will no longer be manufacturing the following medications. We’ll have to find ways around treating the conditions addressed by these medications…” 

“This is bullshit!” Kristen said, a pile of papers still in her hand. “This is going to fucking kill people!” 

“I don’t agree with it,” Elias said. “But we don’t have a say. We’ve already gotten our last shipments of these medications…” 

You reached around Joe, one of the nurses, to Kristen and tried to grab one of the papers. 

“Sorry,” she whispered, handing you one. You looked at the list and frowned. The drugs you’d used when you were miscarrying were on the list. Your stomach churned. 

“What are people supposed to do?” You asked, looking up from the list. “What’s the point of this?” 

“They needed to reallocate manufacturing,” he sighed. “So we have to work around it.” 

You hardly heard the rest of the meeting. You’d helped who even knew how many people miscarry since coming to the QZ. It was always miserable but you didn’t have the facilities to perform a surgical procedure for everyone. The medication was life or death… 

“What are you thinking?” Kristen asked as everyone broke up from the meeting, a pallor cast over the shift. 

“I’m thinking that there are ways around FEDRA,” you muttered. “There’s shit on here that I use all the time. There’s the abortive drugs, there’s the apparent shift to only broad spectrum antibiotics even though I’ve all but fucking begged them to require specificity in QZs so we’re not breeding superbugs. There’s a statin on here that I’ve given patients this week…” 

“This is fucked,” she muttered, stalking off toward the back. 

It was a relatively quiet day and you slipped out a few minutes early, making your way to Joel’s quickly. 

You hesitated before you knocked. You hadn’t been here since the night that Joel had killed McCarthy. That night had haunted you for months, the image of his broken body turning up in your dreams almost nightly. You had the sickening feeling that someone had died because of you. Even if you were terrified of him, even if you felt like the world was better off because he was gone, even though you knew that if anything like that ever happened to Joel you’d want to do the same, you never wanted to be the reason someone was dead. Now, you were. 

Tess answered with a frown. 

“Hey Doc,” she said. “Not that it’s not always a pleasure…” 

“I need a favor,” you said quickly. She shrugged and opened the door wide. 

“Think I found…” Joel came out of his room holding a map and froze when he saw you, looking you up and down. 

“She needs a favor,” Tess said, going to sit on the couch. You sat across from her. 

“When is the next time you’re leaving the QZ?” You asked. Tess and Joel shared a look. 

“This weekend,” she said. “Why?” 

“Going anywhere that might have a pharmacy or five that haven’t been totally gutted?” You asked. 

Tess smiled. Joel groaned. 

“Matter of fact, we are,” she said. “And Joel mentioned that you can bake.”

Saturday, February 13, 2016 

“So really, just ignore Bill,” Tess said. “He’s basically Joel.”

“Ah, huge grumpy asshole?” You asked. She laughed. 

“Exactly,” she said. “Frank, though, is going to fucking love you.”

You’d been walking for a few hours already, seeing mercifully few infected, just one stray clicker that Tess took down on sight in two shots. Joel had stayed behind - grinding his teeth about it when you met Tess at his apartment just as curfew ended that morning - because, apparently, Bill wouldn’t take kindly to being outnumbered. 

“The fact that you brought cookies, though, might make Bill like you,” she said. 

“Way to a man’s heart and all that?” You asked. 

“He’s just a guy who appreciates good food,” she said. “So if you can bring him food he likes? You’re in good. Better than me, that’s for sure. And definitely better than Joel, though that’s a low bar.” 

You smiled a little. 

“Would it be,” you paused, searching for the word. “Weird for me to ask how Joel is doing?” 

“Better now than he was a few months ago,” she said. “Thank fuck. I was getting so tired of his bullshit with Tommy…” 

“What bullshit with Tommy?” You frowned. 

“Oh, you know,” she waved you off. “You’ve been in touch with Tommy, right?” 

“Yeah,” you shrugged. ��He sounded like he was settling in well out there…” 

“I think that helped,” she said. “Joel holding a gun to his head about getting out of town fucked them both over for a while, though.” 

You frowned. 

“What do you mean, holding a gun to his head?” 

You walked up to a large gate with a key pad and a camera mounted at the top. Tess smiled and waved at the camera. 

“Tess?” You asked. “What do you mean, Joel put a gun to his head about it.” 

She paused, looking at you. 

“I probably shouldn’t have said anything,” she said. “You should ask Joel or Tommy…” 

“Tess.” 

She glanced quickly through the wire gate, the door on a large, white house opening. 

“Look,” she said quickly. “I wouldn’t have said shit if I didn’t think Tommy already told you but Joel basically told Tommy to get the fuck out of Boston after the Fireflies blew up that FEDRA building…” 

“What?” You breathed. 

“It was a mess,” she said quickly. “But I think they’ve figured their shit out for now, we can talk about it more on the walk back… Frank!” 

A tall, bearded man in a plaid shirt was jogging over to you, smiling broadly. 

“Tess!” He opened the gate and pulled her into a tight hug. “Ugh, it’s been too long.” 

“I know,” she sighed. “FEDRA’s been a bear lately…” 

He separated from her and looked you over quickly, smile more hesitant. 

“And who’s this?” He asked. 

“Don’t worry, we left Joel at home and she brought cookies,” Tess smiled, clapping him on the shoulder. “Bill will deal.” 

Bill, in fact, did NOT want to deal. 

The cookies, however, did help. 

“How did you get that… depth of flavor?” He asked. There was a gun on the table in front of him as he chewed. You tried to ignore it. 

“Brown the butter, substitute soy sauce for salt,” you smiled. 

He looked at you. 

“Soy sauce.” 

“It’s got that umami thing going on,” you shrugged. “Tried it once with cupcakes when I was baking with a kid I was nannying and she desperately needed something for a bake sale the next day and there was no table salt in the house. Now it’s all I use when I can get it.” 

“Soy sauce,” he said again. He took the gun to the kitchen the next time he got up. It didn’t come back out. Frank looked impressed. 

Frank took you down to the pharmacy in town after tea. It was strange, walking through the streets of a town that was intact and so empty. 

“So you’re a doctor then?” Frank asked as you walked. 

“I am,” you smiled. “And I really appreciate you letting me see what your pharmacy has…” 

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” he waved you off. “Not like Bill or I really know what to do with much of it, anyway.” 

“In fairness, neither does FEDRA,” you smiled. “If they did, they wouldn’t be doing stupid stuff.” 

“How do you know Tess?” He asked. 

“I’m an old friend of Joel’s actually,” you said, choosing to leave out the whole ‘she’s sleeping with the love of my life’ thing.  

“Really?” Frank looked at you, shocked. “Didn’t realize he had friends. What are you, the paranoid old man tamer?” 

You laughed. 

“He wasn’t paranoid or old when I met him,” you said. “Believe it or not.” 

“Having a hard time picturing it,” he smiled. “But I’ll buy it if you’re selling it. Only because you’re so convincing.” 

“It’s the cookies,” you smiled back. “They’ll convince anybody.” 

The pharmacy was well stocked and mostly intact. You looked at it in wonder, eyes wide like a kid at Disney World. 

“I have a proposition,” you said, looking at the array of medications. 

“I’m all ears,” he said. 

“I will give you the names of common drugs and what they treat and their dosages,” you said. “I’ll even mark them in here so you can find them easily, there have to be sticky notes in here somewhere, if you let me take some of what FEDRA’s cutting off.” 

“Sold,” he smiled. 

Frank kept you company for a while, making easy conversation until he decided to go back to the house to save Tess from Bill. You spent the afternoon cataloguing the contents of the pharmacy, creating a stash for yourself to take back to the QZ and putting the most common drugs aside and labeling them carefully so they had resources. 

It was later than you really wanted it to be when you and Tess got ready to go after Bill fed you an absolutely insane meal with venison and potatoes (you’d set your fork down and said “Are you fucking kidding me” after the first bite which, thankfully, the man hadn’t found offensive.) 

You managed to wait until you were a mile into the walk back to bring the Tommy subject back up. 

“So he really didn’t tell you why he left?” She asked. 

“As far as I know, he left because the Fireflies wanted him across the country,” you said. “He asked me to come with him and I said no…” 

“He asked you to come with him?” She gaped at you. You just nodded. She shook her head. “Well for fuck’s sake don’t tell Joel that, they’ll never talk again…” 

“Why?” You asked. “I don’t get it…” 

“You never seem to,” she sighed. “For someone as smart as you are you sure get confused by some of the most basic things.” 

“Gee thanks, Tess,” you snapped. 

“Sorry,” she sighed. “I just mean… You were always a sticking point for them. That’s why Joel told Tommy to leave. You. If he knew Tommy asked you to go with him? He’d lose his shit. I’d rather not deal with that again.” 

“What do you mean I’m why he told Tommy to leave?” You demanded. “Does he really hate me that much? That he saw his brother being friends with me and he just needed to make sure I was miserable?” 

“Doc,” she sighed but you pressed on. 

“I thought things were actually getting better, that he was actually ready to tolerate my existence again,” you said. “But no, apparently he’s desperate to make me as miserable as he is…” 

“Look,” Tess cut you off. “I don’t know the exact reason. I heard a bit from Tommy when he radioed to check in and Joel wouldn’t talk to him and Joel wouldn’t tell me shit, Joel never wants to tell me shit when it involves you. You’ll have to talk to Joel or Tommy.” 

“Sorry,” you sighed. “I wasn’t trying to turn this into a complain about your boyfriend session.” 

“Joel is not my boyfriend,” she laughed a little. “But it’s fine. Fuck knows the man has plenty worth complaining about.” 

You laughed at that, adjusting your now full backpack as you continued your walk back to the QZ. 

***

Joel really didn’t like you being outside the QZ without him. He’d fought Tess on it. He’d fought Tess on it tooth and nail but she eventually put her foot down. 

“Look, Joel, if you want to control what she does then you need to figure your shit out with her,” she snapped. “But right now, you don’t want to be in a relationship with either of us so you really don’t get to control what the fuck we do. I’m taking her to Bill and Frank’s and you can sit down and shut the fuck up about it.” 

She stalked off before she even had her coat on. 

Joel knew she was right. He didn’t get to have a say in her actions or yours, especially not yours. Not really. He was nothing to you and that was by choice. He’d chosen distance from you because it felt like the safest route, the one that would let him get through the misery that was the world after the outbreak alive. 

And now you were outside the QZ, just you and Tess and he had no idea if you were safe. He wouldn’t know for hours. 

He spent more of his day than he really wanted to admit to trying to come up with a reason to see you the day after. Just to make sure you really were back and really were OK. That you’d made the journey in one piece, that no one had hurt you. You’d stopped working Sundays at the clinic so he couldn’t go there. He supposed if he did something supremely stupid and showed up at your door with an injury, you’d treat him. It had been so long since he’d spent much time with you, he wasn’t sure what you might try to DO on a day off. Where he might be able to just bump into you in passing. Say hi. Check for bites from infected. 

He’d nearly talked himself into just dropping by your apartment without pretense when there was the sound of a key in the front door and you were there, with Tess. 

Tess came in and kissed his cheek as a pretense for whispering in his ear. 

“Sorry for this,” she said, patting his chest before going to his room. He frowned. 

“Can I talk to you?” You hissed. You didn’t wait for a response, just marching over to him, grabbing his wrist, and dragging him outside in to the cold February air. 

“Have a nice trip?” He asked. You ignored him. 

“Did you tell Tommy to leave Boston?” You asked. He shocked back from you. That hadn’t been what he was expecting. You pressed him. “Did you tell Tommy he had to leave fucking Boston because of me?” 

He paused. 

“Yes.” 

He wished he’d lied the moment he said it. The look of pain on your face was sharp, acute. Like you couldn’t believe he’d do this to you. 

“Do you really hate me that much?” You asked quietly. “So much that you’d throw your own brother out of town just to make me miserable? Is that it?” 

In half a second, Joel weighed his options. He could tell you the truth and break your heart. Tell you that one of your best friends had orchestrated the bombing that had nearly killed you and was responsible for the death of one of your former students. 

Or he could let you believe the worst of him, the story you were already inventing. He didn’t blame you for it, he’d spent the last decade doing nothing but trying to push you away from him. At some point, you were bound to believe what he was telling you. 

“At some point that girl is gonna stop forgiving you.” That’s what Tommy had told him once. Maybe he’d finally reached that point with you. 

He just nodded once.

“I thought things were getting better,” you sniffed, tears in your eyes. “I thought that we could maybe, finally, be friends. Was that all just a way for you to manipulate me? To hurt me more?” 

Joel didn’t say anything. The tears in your eyes finally fell. 

“Fuck you, Joel,” you said, voice wet. “Just… fuck you.” 

You stalked off into the night just as snow started to fall and you left him standing there, outside, alone in the cold. 

A/N: Some relationship building this chapter (and a break from the drama drama of the last few entries) and a chance for Doc to be the one to call Joel on his shit - even if she doesn't ACTUALLY understand the shit.

I have a tag list that I update when I post! If you'd like to be added, please comment below :)

Thank you so much for reading and following along with this story! I love you all!

PS - Derek? Totally James Marsden in my head. This is why he got a description, he is a 40 year old James Marsden because Doc can PULL. OK THANKS BYE LOVE YOU GUYS!

Taglist: @paleidiot @ayamenimthiriel @ginger-swag-rapunzel @drewharrisonwriter @flugazi @pedropascalsbbg @taoyuji @starstruckmusiciansartghost @splendsay @bigboiseason123 @jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10 @sloanexx @ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings @arizonadaydreamer @mumma-moonchild @blackroseguzzi

[banannabethchase]

"Which one of you came up with this bullshit? It had to be one of you." 🤠🐶👸

The Eye of the Beholder - also on AO3

~

Adam comes home to see one of his two boyfriends has put up some new art on the wall.

~

Adam blinks as he walks into the living room. Then he pinches himself. Then he walks out, counts to ten, and comes back in.

“What the fuck is happening?” There’s no sound, almost like Matt and Mox are elsewhere. But both cars were in the driveway, and there’s a glass of water leaving rings on Matt’s favorite coaster, and Mox’s boots are chucked under their shelf in the foyer. His eyes flicker back up to make sure he’s not hallucinating. He’s not. It’s up there.

When he’s sure he can keep his shit together, he yells out in the hallway, “Which one of you came up with this bullshit?” He waits, possibly hears a little giggle from somewhere. “It had to be one of you. Come on.”

Mox walks out of the kitchen calmly, a glass of water in his hand. Adam notes that part of his sleeve is wet. “What’s wrong?”

“This,” Adam says, gesturing up at the painting on the way. “This is what’s wrong. Who did this?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mox says, taking a sip.

“The giant print of us fucking on the wall?” Adam says. “That doesn’t give you a fuckin’ clue?”

Mox looks up and tilts his head. “Hasn’t that always been there?”

“Wha – no! Don’t fucking gaslight me about our sex photo on the wall.”

Mox shrugs. “Looks good with the room. Matches the couch.”

“How are you not reacting to this?” Adam asks. “This is – my mom is coming for dinner Saturday night!”

“It’s art!” Matt says, walking in. “I mean, what?”

“So it was you,” Adam says. “This is weird, Matt.”

“It’s art,” Matt repeats, like Adam’s the one out of his mind here. “It was a gorgeous photo from that camera we set up last month.”

“Did you just, like, bring this to Wal-Mart and ask for a four by five foot printing?” Adam pictures it, the worker trying to do their damned job only to have a photo of three wrestlers having a threesome show up on their daily to do list.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Matt says. He yanks at the sleeves of his hoodie. It doesn’t take long for Adam to realize it’s one of his. Little thief. “I put in a special order, accompanied by an NDA. They’re a small business owner, no ties to the wrestling business.”

“Yeah, I don’t want people we don’t know seeing that,” Mox says, pointing to the monstrosity on the wall. “I love it, don’t get me wrong, but don’t let it go out to others.”

“That’s your problem with it?” Adam asks. “Seriously?” His eyes go up to it to see himself, naked as the day he was born, balls deep in a very happy Matt. “This is – we can’t have guests.”

“Oh, like this is the weirdest thing we have on our walls,” Matt scoffs.

“What else is as bad as a photo of the three of us fucking?”

“Not bad,” Mox adds, unhelpfully, mouth full of water. “This rocks.”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” and Adam hates this tone from Matt. “Maybe the dead animal carcass hanging up in the entrance to our kitchen?” He points above his head.

“It’s a decorative piece!” Adam says, stepping under it and folding his arms.

“It’s a carcass,” Matt repeats. His hands plant on his hips.

“It’s a statement,” Adam says. “Mox, back me up here?”

Mox steps back, hands up in front of him. “Look, you don’t want my opinion on this one, dude.”

“What?” Adam feels the cold wave of betrayal wash over him. He’s not used to Mox being on Matt’s side. Especially since Matt is always the wrong one. “You said it was cool!”

“I said it was cool for you to hang up,” Mox says, and god it’s infuriating how hot he looks when he’s smug. “Not that the stupid skull bones are cool.”

Adam groans. “You can’t be serious.”

“I just think if we’re going to have the weird stuff you consider art on our walls, we can have the weird stuff I consider art on our walls.” Matt goes back to boo boo eyes, and Adam knows this is a con. The problem is it’s working.

He looks between Matt and Mox, trying to find the weak link. And he realizes, with sudden horror, it’s him. “Okay, god, fine!” Adam yells. “We’ll take down the decorative skull. Fuck, I get it.”

Mox remains stoic, but Matt gets the smuggest grin on his face. “I knew I could get you to listen to me,” he says, folding his arms over his chest. “Only a matter of time.”

“Shut up,” Adam says. He flicks Matt’s nose. “You could have just asked.”

“We did,” Mox says, and Adam hates how he’s the most level headed in the room. It’s wrong. “You were stupid about it.”

Adam rolls his eyes and bitches the whole damned time he takes down the skull. It’s not that weird, he knows. Other people have similar decorations – it’s not unheard of. But, as he puts it away in his office for later relocation, it’s worth it to see Matt take down the giant blown up photo. He holds it in his hands, outstretched, studying it like an art critic.

“What the fuck are you looking at now?” Adam sighs.

“Just thinking,” Matt says, “it would be a shame to let this go to waste.” He looks up, boo boo eyes all over the place. “What about the bedroom?”

“The bedroom is covered in your sneakers and his belt buckles,” Mox says before Adam can answer.

“Oh, says the man who leaves a different pair of beat to shit leather boots all over the house,” Adam scoffs. “But, with the sneakers, yeah.”

“I don’t accept you agreeing with him,” Matt says primly. “And this could be fun above the bed.”

“Above – I have to sleep at night, Matt!” Adam exclaims.

Mox, meanwhile has stopped with his cup halfway to his lips. “I think I just had a waking nightmare of waking up to stare at a printed version of my ass.”

“See?” Adam says. “Not gonna happen.”

“Gym?” Matt asks.

“Oh,” Mox says, and Adam doesn’t like the look on his face. “Wait, that’s a good idea.”

“It is?” Adam asks. “How?”

“Think of it this way,” and Mox has got a tempting kind of grin on his lips. He walks toward Adam until he’s leaning against the counter, Mox so close it’s hard not to kiss him. “I see that picture of us on the wall while you’re doing that arm thing with the weights that makes you look all huge.” He leans in, stepping between Adam’s spread legs. “And you get to bend me over the bench again.”

“I do that, like, weekly, “Adam says, but he hauls Mox in by the waist so he’s pressed against him. “But I see where you’re going with this.” He’s leaning in to kiss Mox when Matt says, “Hey! It was my idea, not his?”

“Nah,” Adam says. “Your idea was putting it in the gym, not wild sex in the gym after we put the stupid picture in there.”

“Whatever, fine,” Matt says, gently leaning the photo against the dish washer. “So, like, are we gonna go into the bedroom now? Because you two are doing the thing again and I really want to be in the middle of it.”

“See that’s an idea of yours I can get behind,” Adam says. He reaches out and pulls Matt in.

Mox snickers. “Hopefully not the only thing you’re getting behind tonight.”

~

Mini Playlist: Trouble - Twice Nxde - (G)I-DLE Angel to You (Devil to Me) - The Click Five Feed the Beast - ARIZONA

[greenlikethesea]

WIP word search

thanks @riality-check for the tag! my words are: decide, peace, follow, door, and proud

door, from an untitled fair ithilien WIP, about the relationship between Mike, El, and Will:

“You keep changing the goal posts, Will!” Mike shouts. There’s a thump on Will’s wall by the living room, no doubt a boot hurled as a warning from Mr. Rakowski next door. It’s a stark reminder that it is, indeed, a quarter to eight in the morning on a fucking Saturday. 

“I have no idea what you mean by that.”

“I do something, you’re angry. I don’t do something, you’re still angry. Which is it? I can’t guess how you feel! I can’t –”

“Read my mind,” Will finishes. “Yeah, it doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out, Mike.”

peace, from an epistolary WIP set in fair ithilien verse, primarily consisting of emails between Dustin and Max:

SUBJECT: Re: Two photos, one question

Darlingest,

Claire is the absolute coolest. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her, which is frightening and not something I want to touch now that I’ve written it out, so don’t ask for elaboration. The only annoying thing about her is that she works nights right now, so coordinating plans with her can be tricky. But that means I can write this email to you in peace, and that also means that she’ll be wide awake when you see Accordion Man next month, thankfully without me.

follow, from an upcoming installment of the jargyle:

“Why don’t you fucking do it?” Will yelps, with that awful, sniveling tone that has crept in from years of embodying what Eddie has snidely called New York Will in their conversations whenever he’s come up. 

“I have been doing the laundry,” El says, with that jagged staccato leftover from her youth that still graces her vocal delivery every so often. “You have done nothing.”

“Oh sure, caring for our mother is doing nothing,” Will bites back.

“You do not care. You are an asshole.” Another crash, followed by a yell from Will – something expensive that belonged to him, no doubt.

proud, from a fair ithilien installment set during the one and only friendsgiving megan and steve host:

“Yeah, I thought so too,” Megan says. She sounds proud of herself. She should be, Eddie guesses, which is maybe a weird thought to have. He doesn’t know. “I’d really like it if you were there, Eddie. Steve would, too. It’s okay if you can’t come, but I really hope you can.”

It’s the earnestness of that statement that makes something in Eddie’s heart clench. 

“I’ll be there,” Eddie says. 

“Oh, that’s great, Eddie, thank you,” Megan says, immediately joyous. “Well, I should go, but it was really nice talking to you.”

decide, from a fair ithilien installment about drag:

With the way Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up, Steve knows it was the right thing to say. “You’ve worn a dress?”

“It was a King Steve classic,” Steve says, waving it off like he hasn’t just exposed part of his soul. “Brought it out at parties sometimes.”

“I went to a few parties at Chez Harrington and I think I would remember that,” Eddie says. His tone is…unreadable. Too steady, almost. Like he can’t decide how to approach this conversation.

Steve shrugs again, starts sorting through stuff again just to give his hands something to do. “Only happened when shit got really wild. Like, 1am shitfaced exclusive. Mom was never home, so I knew which dresses of hers I wouldn’t stretch out. ”

“No kidding,” Eddie says.

no pressure tags!: @sparklyslug, @the-barn-rat, @geddyqueer, and @r-o-s-e-f-i-r-e! your words are chance, hot, press, smirk, and lose.

[yeahimwiththeband]

undefined

-> with the band chapter 6

i’m not scared of you

A/N: dear reader, I fucked up. this is an edit of the previous chapter. if you’ve already read it, my bad - i have a new outline and have written the next six chapters, so this won’t happen again

with the band is a love on tour fanfic, slow burn harry style au. it’s like, harry from the darkest timeline in a fluffy, multi-chapter, romance about a girl with anxiety disorder falling in love for the first time. thank you so much for reading. i love any feedback, input, and criticism. this is my first story post on tumblr.

warning: angst, pining, minors DNI due to smut in the next chapter. with the band also deals with people pleasing behavior, anxiety disorder, body image issues, and codependency.

summary: izzy finally buys her own clothes. and harry is very, very worried about her. 

word count: 4.8k

Izzy was an hour early for the concert tonight, and instead of meeting Meg and Lydia in the parking lot outside, she arrived with the band in their van. They were all unloaded underground along with tons of equipment. The arena looked so bright and alien without the crowd and with all the lights on. Meg and Izzy sat on the floor in the pit  while Jess and her band set up. Lydia took photos of George from the wings. It was Saturday night and she was supposed to leave when the weekend was over with Meg. She pushed the thought of returning to her room out of her mind; she loved being around other people all the time, instead of alone living in her laptop. She loved everything about the tour.

She had changed into a different outfit, one George bought her that didn’t cut into her shoulders so much, and Meg was wearing some of her new clothes too. The boulder loomed in the back of her mind. Lydia’s words from earlier that day echoed like a car alarm: are you sleeping in his room tonight? Are you sleeping in his room tonight?

In the van on the way over, Izzy finally learned the basic facts about her new… friend? Weird groupie situation? George was her age, 23. George had been touring with Jess (the Starer) since he and Jess were 18; they went to high school together, joining band together (band!) in 9th grade. Their bandmate Olivia was a senior at the time and was now 26, maybe explaining why she was so chill, and Lisa was was Lydia’s age, just 21 (maybe explaining why she had no chill?). They had found each other in the small Vermont town where they were from, and just jumped into music. The only other person Izzy had met who were so sure what they wanted to do early on was Meg. She always knew it would be medicine; she was a physician’s assistant, just starting her first job a few months ago (she complained about it often, but she never doubted she was in the right field). Lisa shared that George had started out playing the tuba, which they all thought was hilarious and adorable. George changed the subject after that.

Harry was 28, and grew up working class in Manchester with a single mother. He didn’t tell her that - Harry never talked about himself. Izzy had to Google him.

George told Izzy that he had big plans: Jess Harper and her band were going to blow up. Opening for Harry was just the beginning. It sounded to Izzy like George had a humble beginning like hers. In his case, it was his dad worked a lot and his mom was checked out. He was often shipped off to this or that camp or just left to his own devices all summer—it sounded like Izzy’s many hours in the store, by herself. He played sports a lot, which explained his build. He wanted a trainer and a nutritionist (Harry had those) to support him on the massive tour. In the van, Ryan said he could get them just as soon as his social audience numbers hit a certain level. Lydia fell asleep during this conversation, totally nonplussed by the pressure on her work. The Jess Harper band was going to open for Harry at least through the American slots in the tour, and maybe Australia  and Europe too. For the rest of the ride, Izzy daydreamed about California and Italy. She had many pictures of both saved on Pinterest, on secret boards. Izzy thought of her own big plans, and what she wanted to do. She had loved books and botany growing up; she loved being outside, in nature, and always wanted to have a garden. George didn’t ask her any of this, and Izzy didn’t blame him; he was going on stage in just a few hours in front of more than 10,000 people.

When they opened the gates, Izzy and Meg retreated backstage. They joined Lydia in the wings, watching the band from the side. The show looked different from there, but not in the way that you would think. Seeing the chaos underneath made it only more impressive to Izzy, more magical.

Izzy watched women stare up at George from the audience just like she had last night, eager smiles lit up by the dozen as the lights swung around the audience. She could feel the stage vibrate with the drummer’s beat, a wall of sound that propelled the Starer’s voice out into the crowd. Lydia snapped pictures of George bounding on and off stage, catching his energy that he turned on for the crowd. At each costume change George and Jess would disappear with Ryan and reappear enough energy to power the entire arena.

When the band was on, Ryan hovered at the other side of the stage, eyes locked on his performers, mouthing the lyrics. Meg and Izzy laughed at him. At least he was dedicated.

BeReal, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat: Lydia and Izzy stole moments for all of them, Izzy anxiously watching the likes climb as Lydia lit a joint. Izzy, feeling protective of her little cousin, was going to say something, but the entire concert hall smelled like weed. And she was with the band now, and trying not to feel like a kid surrounded by adults. Lydia was a grown up and could smoke if she wanted to, Izzy decided.

George and Jess (the Starer) were thriving; the crowd seemed to go even crazier for them tonight than they had at the first concert. The crowd demanded two encores, unusual for an opening act.

When George ran off stage just as Harry was about to go on, he grabbed Izzy and kissed her in front of everyone. Like he was her boyfriend or something. Izzy thought to herself: do I have a boyfriend? Like, a real one? She felt high.

On stage, Harry seemed like a shell of himself. He was a smiling robot and his voice sounded hollow. He was even on time for his set. Izzy was disturbed.

Eddie was unsettled, pacing back and forth backstage, avoiding Ryan totally. As Eddie suffered, Ryan seemed to improve. Two more suited assistants followed him, and he seemed like the boss of the entire tour, ordering everyone around. Ryan was the manager assigned to George’s band when they signed up with Harry’s label, Sony, earlier that year. Ryan was a new hire there and seemed to be rising fast; he was going to ride the Jess Harper band to the top of the company, and pushing Harry’s sales up would help him get there too.

Harry played the set list Ryan had chosen. No Sign of the Times, Matilda, no Little Freak. No high kicking dance parties, and the base turned up so high on What Makes You Beautiful that you could barely hear him. The show was a big machine and Harry seemed like a cog in it for the first time. Meg actually yawned at one point. Izzy found it hard to watch.

Izzy checked Harry’s feed on her phone. He had so many more followers than George. His photos were effortless, and just breathed his energy (well, the energy he usually had). She slowed to a stop on the latest post, eyes catching on the comments at the top of the list.

jessH <3

↳ harrystyles 🤫

larry4ever222 OMG are they together?

jessH. The Starer. Izzy scrolled her account, too: photos of her raging on stage mixed with glimpses of a lifestyle Izzy had never experienced. Friends’ art shows, underground fashion events, videos from a trip to Europe.

Izzy gave the phone back to Lydia wandered out to the green room. The one here was decorated in the same style as the one in her city; all color and softness hidden away from the concrete and fluorescents of the machine that was backstage. She found a kettle behind the lucite bar and managed to make a cup of tea. Izzy didn’t know much about British people, but she did know that they liked tea. When she brought a cup back out to Eddie, he seemed to relax a bit, but his hands still trembled around the cup. 

“The label keeps siding with Ryan,” Eddie said, taking a shaky sip. “On everything.”

“Why?”

“He keeps showing them the ‘progress’ he’s making with Jess Harper. They think he’s a genius. They think I’m...”

“You’ve been Harry’s manager forever,” Meg said.

“Yeah,” Izzy added. “Harry is the biggest rock star in the world and you helped make him. I’m sure they see that.” Eddie shook his head. Izzy tried to lighten the mood: “I can’t imagine Harry getting anywhere at all without you. He can be kind of a baby.” 

“Can you blame him?” Meg said. “His music seems like a really big part of him and he’s losing control over it.” 

“Ryan is going to write the deal memos for the next shows,” Eddie continued. “Once he controls the money, I won’t have any influence at all.” 

Izzy didn’t know what to say. 

Meg stayed by his side as Izzy went back to the green room, suddenly wanting a cup of tea herself. Lydia sprawled out on the couch, her head in Olivia’s lap, passing a joint back and forth with Lisa.

The concert was over and Ryan loomed over the room from a corner, six suits around him. Harry came in and sat down near Izzy, by the bar. He leaned his head back against the wall.

“Do I smell tea in here?” Harry asked, barely able to turn his head toward her. 

“I made Eddie a cup,” Izzy said.

Harry smiled and closed his eyes. Just as he was about to say something—probably to ask Izzy to make him a cup—George burst in.

“I was looking for you babe,” George said. “Strategy sesh with Ryan. I’ll be back in 30.” He took off toward Ryan.

“Babe,” Harry spat under his breath, in a mock American accent. “You’re his babe now?”

Izzy felt anger boil up in her chest, which she wasn’t used to. “Yes, he likes me. I’m trying not to be offended by the surprise in your voice,” she said. “I do usually scare men off somehow, probably with my terrible clothes,” she said, gesturing down at her still-rubber outfit from that afternoon.

“And maybe your sense of humour,” Harry added.

“That too,” Izzy said, laughing a bit. She never thought of herself as having a sense of humour, but Harry was easy to joke with.

“I’m not scared of you,” Harry said.  

George reappeared, squeezing Izzy’s shoulders from behind. She jumped a bit, surprised. “Forgot something,” George said. He kissed her in his light way before vanishing again. Izzy gazed after him, stunned.

“I thought you were leavin’ after this weekend,” Harry said, his voice low and bitter. “It’s not like you’ll see him after that.”

“You don’t know that,” Izzy said.

She walked away from Harry and plucked Lydia’s joint out of her hand, taking a long drag. She sputtered and coughed, trying to suppress it as Lydia tapped her back. Her eyes were watering and at least it looked like it was from the smoke. She never had angry outbursts, always suppressing her feelings. But with Harry it’s like she couldn’t contain herself. When she came up for air, Harry was gone. The Starer wasn’t anywhere, either.

Meg had appeared at her side.

“You’re smoking?” She asked.

Izzy shrugged. What was wrong with trying it?

“I guess there’s nothing wrong with trying it,” Meg added. Lydia held out the joint to her, and Meg took one small inhale.

Through the smoke, Lydia and Lisa were discussing how Dimes Square was played out—Izzy had no idea what they were saying.

Meg pulled Izzy aside and shared her concerns about Eddie, who was worried about Harry.

“I know it’s bad,” Izzy agreed. “But Ryan is Jess Harper’s manager and they’re killing it. So maybe he’s not wrong about everything.”

“I thought you agreed that Ryan’s ideas for the show were terrible? I think the new set is awful.”

“George seems to really like him. How bad can he be?”

Meg was about to reply when George emerged from the back room, Ryan behind him. He was breathlessly excited about something.

“Izzy!” He grabbed Izzy’s hand.

“George!”

“The band needs you here. Ryan wants you to stay on the tour, past this weekend.”

“It’s good for the strategy,” Ryan said. “All hands on deck.”

“What?” Izzy said. It was all she could manage.

“I want you here. Two more weeks in New York, for the shows here.” George didn’t understand the shocks he was raining down on Izzy, words she had always dreamed of but had never heard before: I want you here.

“I—“ Izzy stammered. “I’m not sure if I can… my mom expects me to help her with the business, and—“

“I think your mom will be fine,” Meg said. “If that’s your reason Izzy, I don’t think that’s a good one. You haven’t been away for more than the length of a doctor’s appointment since the accident.” Meg never let Izzy get by with her bullshit. It was an excuse. It wasn’t the guilt about her mom and the store—Izzy was terrified at the prospect of two weeks with George.

George tapped his fingers against Izzy’s cheekbones, and held her face in his fingertips. “I want you to stay, Izzy. The band needs you.”

“You’re learning the social stuff fast,” Meg said. “You can do it.” Izzy felt fear climbing her legs and forearms like fire. Oh god, there was no way to stay that long on the tour without telling him about her greatest shame: the Boulder.

“I’ll stay if Meg can, too,” Izzy said.

“I think that’ll be fine. She’ll have to share with Lydia, which means you’ll have to stay with me, Izzy. I’ll check with Ry.” George disappeared again.

“I have a job, Izzy,” Meg said. Under her breath, she added: “You can do this on your own.”

“I really can’t,” Izzy whispered back.

“It would be most of the vacation time I’d saved.”

“Two weeks? Manhattan? Free hotel room? You could even have Mark visit for a bit!” Meg’s husband would be returning from a friend’s bachelor party next weekend.

Meg took out her phone, knowing Izzy would leave if she did. She had banked enough vacation time for a break. Her job said yes, which surprised her; she had done a lot of overtime, and it was paying off. Meg always complained about the clinic where she worked—it was physical medicine and rehabilitation, hips and knees and stuff, and she wanted to work with kids.

“I’m going to have to borrow all your clothes,” Meg said.

“Totally fine!”

The two hugged.

“Where did Lydia go?” Izzy asked. “I have to tell her that I get to stay.”

Meg gestured toward the arena.

Izzy stumbled on an obstacle as soon as she left the green room: the Starer. Arms folded, standing between her and the door to the pit. Had she overheard everything?

“You’re George’s girlfriend now?” Jess asked, ice in her voice. “That fits.”

“Thank you,” Izzy said, returning her tone. They were leading a band together; how could being with him be an insult?

“I think you and Ryan are sort of similar and could make a good team,” Jess said. Izzy wanted to speak up to disagree, but her voice failed. “If you let him do his work and stay out of his way.”

“Got it,” Izzy said. She couldn’t speak her mind around people like the Starer, people who she desperately wanted to impress.

“These are things we have to do to make it,” Jess added. “Forget making it, just to keep going, even.” Izzy’s confusion deepened. “An artist like Harry doesn’t have to, but we have to.” It sounded like Jess was defending herself, but Izzy didn’t know from what. Maybe Jess did sense that Izzy wasn’t like Ryan, and thought that Izzy was judging him and his methods.

“I’ve been trying to keep him away from Harry,” Jess continued. “He wants Harry under his portfolio and the label will get rid of Eddie if Ryan can show in the numbers that he’s better.”

“Ryan seems to have a terrible effect on him,” Izzy agreed. “Harry’s been even more of an asshole than usual, lately.”

“Harry needs to be around people like him. Artists, sensitive people,” Jess said in a warning tone.

Izzy knew this was intended as an insult. But she couldn’t say anything back. Jess’s message was clear: stay away from him.

“When we’re big like Harry, we can go back to doing what we want,” Jess continued.

“You guys are pretty big now,” Izzy offered.

“Not big enough,” Jess said. “You’ll see.” Ryan called her from inside and she went around Izzy into the green room.

Izzy could see clearly that Jess was an artist like Harry was, or at least that’s what she wanted to be; she didn’t like all the fake bullshit, the controlled set lists, the light show. George and his band, Harry and Jess. Izzy was on the outside. She would tell Meg her entire conversation that night back in the hotel room, while they were splitting up the clothes George bought her. Meg agreed that Jess was in love with Harry, that Ryan was a bad but necessary influence, and that they would stay for two weeks then go home. Meg sat by Izzy as she called her mom and explained that she was joining Lydia for two weeks on the tour as her assistant, making it sound as proper and normal as possible. Meg stayed with Izzy with a hand on her back while she sobbed after the call, sure that she was she was a bad daughter.

But before all of that, Izzy continued on to the arena, and hung back in the doorway.

Elijah idly tapped on his percussion set, creating a lazy beat that echoed around the hall. Lydia lay on the floor of the pit, a feather boa under her head. Her palms were pressed into her eyes, elbows pointing to the ceiling. Harry stood over her, a kind smile on his face.  It looked so strange with all the lights on, instruments in place for the opening tomorrow.

“Come on, broken hearted,” Harry said. Lydia didn’t get up. Izzy wore the same look of concern that Harry did. She had been worried about Lydia. She was so carefree and spontaneous and seemed so happy; but at the same time, she also seemed a bit lost.

Harry leaned down, stretching out both hands toward her. “No cure like dance,” Elijah said from the stage.

He seemed so much softer than he usually was.

Lydia lay on the ground.

“Fine,” Harry said. He lay down beside her, a few feet away. “It’ll be alright,” he continued, turning toward her.

“It definitely will,” Elijah said. He stopped playing.

Lydia inhaled and exhaled, then took her hands from her eyes. She spotted Izzy. Izzy asked what was wrong. Is it Mitch? Izzy thought. He disappeared after Harry’s set ended.

“Nothing,” Lydia replied.

“For the next two weeks, I’m basically not allowed near George because he has to focus, so I have to sleep in your room, sorry,” Izzy said. Lydia sat up.

“That’s fine, Izzy,” she said.

Izzy idly picked up an acoustic guitar leaning on a stand on stage. “What are you broken hearted about, Lydia?”

“Harry’s shit set list,” Lydia said, smiling.

“Thanks for that,” Harry said.

Izzy sat on the edge by Elijah and started fumbling her way through Volare, one of Lydia’s favourite songs from when they were kids. Hearing it brought back memories of Lydia dancing in the store, Izzy watching from the register. It was a song her grandmother had always put on.

“Two more weeks? That’s my entire residency here.” Harry protested.

“You’ll just have to suffer through it,” Izzy said.

Elijah hopped down off the stage and took Lydia’s hand. Izzy watched them dance, and Harry watched Izzy play.

When she finished the song, Elijah took over the guitar, playing something more upbeat.

“Do you ever dance?” Izzy asked Harry.

“Only on stage,” Harry said. Lydia booed him from the pit.

“Come on, broken hearted,” Lydia teased.

“Leave him alone,” Izzy said. “It’s fine.”

Izzy and Lydia found Meg and started their walk back to their hotel room in Dimes Square soon after, Harry making an excuse to stay behind (anything to get away from me, Izzy thought). Izzy wanted to walk, and they took a detour north first, happy to be outside, along the green edge of central park. Izzy held up her hand under the trees as they walked, feeling the leaves between her fingers.

“I wouldn’t be here without you,” Izzy said.

“Me neither,” Meg said. “Thanks, Lydia.”

“I’m your fairy godmother,” Lydia said. “Here to rescue you from your day jobs.”

“What are you broken hearted about?” Izzy asked.

“You were locked up in that store for so long,” Lydia continued, ignoring the question.

“But what is it, Lydia?”

“It’ll all work out how it’s meant to work out.”

“I wish you’d tell me,” Izzy pressed.

“You never tell anyone your true feelings about anything,” Lydia says.

“That’s true,” said Meg.

“But you always do,” Izyz said, “and now you’re being mysterious.”

Lyda sighed and looked up at the sky, clouded over with city lights. “You really love it here?”

“Bet. It’s so good to be around people my age,” Izzy said. “Listen to music and dance every night, spend time with you again.”

“I feel like I abandoned you. I left you behind.”

“No, no—that’s not what I meant. I left myself behind. Chained to the store. Like a little break on my part would have closed it forever.”

“It won’t. None of us are that important.”

“You literally rescued me. You’re a good person, Lydia,” Izzy said. “I’m glad I have another two weeks.”

Lydia gave her a bittersweet smile. “Then I’m glad, too.”

When they got back to their hotel room on Dimes Square, Lydia disappeared with her phone and Izzy told Meg about everything that had happened.

After she pulled herself together, she noticed a new box in the corner of the room. Two more new dresses, one for her and one for Meg. Same expensive designer, and blank card with the tour’s name on it. Izzy knew it was from George.

It was the pink dress that felt like water on her skin, her favourite one from the store. He did know her.

They fell asleep at three, wearing the dresses over their clothes. The next day, while Harry did an interview to promote one of his upcoming movies, George bought them bagels the size of their heads. They walked across the wide blocks between the Hudson and the East River, which George taught them to just call the East, around Soho, which George loved. They bought clothes for his upcoming appearances and Izzy and Lydia paused to catch the light, and some spontaneous expressions, for his socials on their phones. Then they returned to the arena, took a few rehearsal videos for the band’s main accounts, and watched the show from the wings. Izzy could hear all the pain in the Starer’s voice; she still got a full body rush when they came on. She really didn’t like Jess, but couldn’t hate her when she was on stage.  

Harry’s voice was still hollow, but he was a beast on stage. Izzy always stayed to watch Harry, looking for traces of what she saw on that first night. At the end of What Makes You Beautiful, he looked over his shoulder and caught her watching him. He grinned, pleased with himself. Izzy raised her phone, pretending to do something for social.

He walked over to Elijah and Naomi to say something; they smiled and nodded.

His next song was Cinema, but instead, they did Ever Since New York, which sounded a bit like James Taylor to Izzy.

“God fucking damn it,” Ryan said from behind Izzy. Izzy jumped; she didn’t know he was back there. He looked furious.

Harry glanced back at Ryan, grinning as he sang: Almost over, had enough from you

Izzy tried not to giggle.

“You’re a bad influence,” Ryan said as soon as Harry turned back around.

“I think he changed the song for you, not me,” Izzy replied, smiling.   

“George needs to focus,” Ryan continued. “He’s connecting with the crowd more than ever and we need to keep this momentum going. I’ll need your help.”

“Sure, Ryan,” Izzy said automatically. Ryan could kick her off the tour any time. 

“I need you on my side in this,” he said urgently. His face was close to hers; Izzy could see how bloodshot his eyes were.

“Yes,” Izzy said awkwardly. “Whatever you need.”

“You’ll stay with Lydia and Meg through this leg of the tour, in their room. I don’t need any distractions. I need him sharp.” Izzy was more relieved than disappointed. She had been so nervous about staying in George’s room and everything that would mean. Ryan’s phone started to buzz.

“Oh—”

“I need him sharp,” Ryan repeated. His vibe was intense, borderline manic. “We’re going to test you out in a few weeks. At the gala. We’ll see what the response is.”

“What do you mean by response—” 

“Thanks for being on George’s side,” he said. Ryan picked up the call, raising his phone to his ear, and walked off.

“What gala?” Izzy asked after him. Ryan didn’t turn around. When Izzy turned back to the stage, Harry’s eyes were on her. He swivelled back around to the stage fast and finished the song. 

you don't know nothing, just pretend you do

Izzy smiled. New York for two weeks with George. She could put up with Harry for a little while longer. Maybe she could stay for the whole tour.

chapter7

[lotuslovers]

'The Weeknd' // E.Y Pt. 2

Pairing : female!reader x Eren Yeager, background angst jean kirstein x reader(bashing for the sake of the plot) 

w.c: 3.2k 

Summary : Caught up in a world of money, fame, girls, and lies as the man of your dreams is ripped away from you in an unexpected cheating scandal. In response, you make a move with another high profile artist but unexpectedly it becomes a bit more than you bargained for when feelings for the brunette become unearthed. Modern fame AU/Fake dating AU

Trigger warnings: none

pt 1 | pt 2

Saturdays were what you called ‘reserved days’. If you weren’t working or coming back from a long drive from your parent’s house, you were curled up with blankets and snacks binge watching your favorite tv shows and hiding away from your friends. The truth was that in the past two months, you began to throw yourself into working far more hours. Taking on clients on the weekends, even those clients who managed to get on nerves simply because they kept coming even though they refused treatment. Many claimed they were in perfect condition, despite the pain they all held.

These reserved days became far too frequent once you began working far too many hours each week. Your boss, a little older lady named Elma, had waved you off when you asked to take on an additional shift on Saturdays and Sundays. Leaving you to pile yourself up in your apartment, the small room you had managed to get a week after news of Jean’s infidelity had leaked to the public. The apartment wasn’t much, but until you and Jean could sell your joint house, you were stuck dealing with the mess that was the Southern California housing market.

Sasha had decided to crash at your house last night, sleeping on the coach after you both came back from an all night street food fair and outdoor carnival set up. She sat beside you as the tv played the newest episode that was released from your favorite reality show, you hummed watching as Miley, your favorite cast member, began to pace hearing Hannah expose a detail about the new addition that was just brought into the show two episodes ago. “oh my god” you mumbled, connecting the dots of an attempted sabotage against Miley. The guy had known her before the show had started, she hadn’t met him before. A flashback began to play of him with another guy speaking briefly what looked like away from the filming crew.

A light buzzing noise interrupted your concentration, coming from the coffee table in front of you. Ignoring it you kept watching, reaching to grab the bag of baked chips from the table as Sasha shot you a weird look. The buzzing died out momentarily before it began again, ringing and drawing both of your attention as you refused to look down at the screen of your phone. “Y/n, are you going to answer that? Sasha said from across the living room, lounging on the large loveseat you had claimed before the move. As your phone lays lighting up non stop on top of the glass table. Glancing at you she reached over toward the table annoyed and sighing loudly, grabbing the remote and then tossing the phone in your direction as she hit the pause button. Even though you knew to expect it, the name “Mallory” on your screen still unnerved you. Pouting towards the screen, “It’s my manager, one sec” you said whilst bringing the phone up to your ear and answering the call.

“Hey, what’s up?” you spoke nervously. “y/l/n have you seen my texts?” She paused and you just knew she had rolled her eyes since she was used to you dragging your feet during any type of media campaign. “Well, I have been trying to reach you. Did you see anything I sent over? I have some serious updates on Yeager and our rollout.” “Oh” you mumbled confused on how you had missed the media finally covering the story with Eren. It surely hadn’t been too long but you missed any new trends on your platforms. Nearly a week had already passed since the night of the party, the photos you took earlier in the night were already posted, some twitter and instagram blog accounts had began spreading rumors of you being spotted with another man, and a blurry photo from far away that Sasha had taken was leaked by a few big accounts. Lots of people began speculating since the rumors were true when the image had confirmed it. The photo had shown you shyly tilting your head back while looking over your shoulder, clearly giggling as a taller male stood with his hands around your waist with his head hidden behind you in the darkness. The outline of his eyes barely being made out behind the brown hair and the small amount of light. The photo had gone around already two days ago, even close friends of your ex had reached out asking about it nonstop, wanting to know who it was. Connie, even if a friend of both of you, began to pester Sasha too. Blogs ran with the photos, youtube channels included you in their weekly drama recaps, and your dm’s were all filled asking the same questions. Who were you with that night? Had you gotten over the messy breakup?

Both you and Eren’s manager had made it clear to both of their clients that the role needed to be followed without any interference or changes to make it a successful campaign, we both knew it was said mainly meant for Jaeger to follow. Zeke and Mallory had brainstormed, basing the rollout on the idea of an image of an unknown man being pictured with you leaked to blogs, which began to trend for a few days to stir up some controversy before the eventual dropping a photo with Eren’s face in it. Between both of them, they agreed the timing just had to be perfect to get through a suitable “hard launch” and we(Eren) couldn’t get in the way of the rollout. His social media privileges were limited after his last few controversies online.

“So you won’t believe it,” she cheerily said as her tone entirely changed directions, “me and Zeke had planned to leak the final photo with Eren in the next few days after a potential soft launch story, you know a story of roses or a cropped photo of the two of you sat at a restaurant, and yada yada. Well so we decided to risk an early release, an account called dion.alise is run by this well known blogger who has a small but loyal group of followers” she said. “okay so, she’s known for her celebrity gossip and ‘insider’s appeal’ since she is a makeup artist and hairstylist for major award ceremonies-” she paused as you hummed along letting her continue the usual debrief. “Anyways, not only did she leak the photos a little over an hour ago but right after the post she found someone at the party who had taken more photos but from another time that night. Go look at what I sent to your phone. It's the very first link.”

Moving to follow her instructions, you tapped to place her on speaker phone and scrolled through notifications to open the bubble of what she sent to you. Scrolling up past a dozen links until you go to the first one from today, noisily Sasha saw and moved over to the nearest cushion as you clicked on the link. Mallory began talking again as you sat still looking over the post displayed on your phone, “The rollout is going to look a hundred times more organic, just look how grainy the photos are but we can still tell who’s in it”. Sasha hummed next to you as she pulled out her phone, shooting you a look when you stopped attempting to respond to your manager's voice. Looking at the photos under the title: “EXCLUSIVE: Y/L L/N AND EREN YEAGER TOGETHER, MYSTERY MAN CONFIRMED?” One image of you looking over at Eren from the beginning of the night as you led him outside to speak and the next few were far away photos of the two of you outside on the porch barely seen with the dimly lit patio. Through most of the photos it was clear who was there, the dress you wore had lamented in was you as the profile of you left no question. ‘Ren, wasn’t hard to recognize. There was an aura around him, the way he looked at you, pointedly but his face was not obscured by bad lighting or his hair. The recognizable smirk smile he wore and the black ink that barely peaked out from his sleeves left no questions. The tattoo you failed to recognize that night started mockingly back at you. There was no room to lie about who was there anymore and you were unsure if you were glad or annoyed with that fact.

But seeing the post made whatever you had with Yeager feel a million times more official, even if it was for the publicity you could not deny the warmth that flushed through your cheeks as you looked at the photos and how later that night you would end up making out in his car. Glancing back up, Sasha moved slowly to reach down to your screen, swiping and zooming between the photos. A brief guilty feeling coursed through you looking at her, even though she was your closest friend you decided not to tell her about the new “relationship” between you and the singer. Had she taken this photo? Had she known about the car ride and ‘Ren? Mallory repeated something but it was unclear if she said something to someone else in the office. I thought I heard my name but I was focused on the girl beside me. Whispering away from the phone, “Was that you and Niccollo?” You turned fully to the left, she shook her head. “Of course not-” cutting herself off as my manager interrupted. Should that have been a relief? Or a weight on my chest that I decided to keep those moments to myself.

“Please tell me you have looked through the comments and your analytics” she asked excitedly as if looking through new stacks of data. A new notification popped at the top of your screen alerting you to an image she sent you. Scrolling down to screenshots of the trend in profile visits from today on your instagram. “There’s a lot of opinions on the pair of you but overall it’s a lot of positive receptions, honestly far more than what Zeke expected especially for his brother.” “Look into his music, his most recent releases just began trending higher on the charts and the music category on both Spotify and Youtube for his music videos. Don’t even get me started on the reposts from the blogs and them eating the situation up. Your follower count has gone up within the hour and I got a text from Jaeger’s manager that not only are his streams going up but he has had a new influx of followers.” Her smile was heard through the phone as some confusing thoughts filled your mind. Were you and him official? What were you supposed to say if anyone confronted you in person? The last week’s endless conversations with Mallory should have told you how you react but you were unsure you wanted to voice anything when you hadn’t known any clarity between him and you.

“Hey Mallory” Sasha chimed in from beside you, “I’m here with her and she’s super excited on the rollout. Sorry we’re busy at the moment, we can’t chat for too much but thank you for the update.” I began to move to stand up and give Sasha a grateful smile, “yeah thank you so much, sorry for the late reply I have been in the middle of a lot since its my day off.”

“Oh no worries, I just needed to update you on the recent developments. I’ll text you any new information, take care okay babes?” she said before we said our goodbyes to end the call.

The red button clicked as silence filled the room, I paced around and looked at the tv show paused on the screen and I no longer wanted to watch it. My life was beginning to feel like another episode that was poorly thrown together. “What are you thinking? I can hear you angrily pace around” she said, frowning from the couch.

The hardwood floor felt cool beneath my socks, the small sounds of the air conditioning running brought my focus back and away from the loud flow of blood pumping to my head. I was angry right? Not at the media rollout, I was supposed to be angry at Jean? Any thoughts of him had made me shrivel up and scowl. I had felt anger at him, I wanted him to feel humiliated knowing I was moving on and especially with his old friend. But now, I wasn’t angry or focusing on him. The small anger I felt rise in me was a small tide of unease, a fear and a dislike of what was to be expected now? I felt so serious and committed to exploring being single and Eren made me feel more committed than any label had. He wanted me, was interested in and had liked me for years before I was living such a stable life. I hated to admit it but I was afraid, we weren't even really dating. The comments and reactions are from others who don’t know the amount of nights I cried in the last week wishing I wasted five years with someone who loved me and not Jean. A part of me felt an immense guilt that ‘Ren could only “have” me now that Jean had hurt me. He still controlled me after the break up, the night with Eren I felt like relieved of the burden. I felt like someone truly cared for me and I felt like I had a choice. I chose him, just like he always had. When we younger and even know. The glances from years ago and claims from friends that he was interested finally made sense, Jean's possessiveness when in front of him made sense. Part of my felt unworthy of his interest, I wanted a shot at love with someone I wanted. Yeager was that but it felt off in front of the eyes of thousands.

“I don’t even know. I think I’m so overwhelmed thinking about everything that has happened these past months that this is stressing me out so much” I finally broke the silence, ignoring the tidal wave that was begging for me to release. I turned and moved to sit back down, grabbing the remote to push play and hopefully allow Sasha to be distracted to not question me further. By the look she gave me I knew it did not distract her but she chose to not bring it up.

-

Hours later, Sasha had needed to head home and take care of her dogs while Niccollo got ready for his shift.

Around Midday I ate lunch, checked my emails, responded to a few texts from both managers, and spent some brief time scrolling slowly through the trending topics online. Easing myself through slow scrolls past the brief mentions of myself, after a while I kept seeing Jean’s name in the conversation and it turned my stomach. A feeling tugged at my mind the entire day, I wanted to know how Eren had felt. His name was trending, but so had far more negative news on his past issues with Jean and it felt inappropriate for me to reach out when I felt like I was hurting his image. In some reactions I was called the issue, who “quickly” moved on from her ex and purposefully got together with someone he publicly had issues with. It was true in a sense, but I hoped the news would impact my ex far more negatively.

I fidgeted, hovering my finger above the call button on his contact before my screen flashed. An incoming call from lit up, the name “Ren” taunted me. I urged myself to at least wait ten seconds to not seem too eager, clicking accept I said, “Hey” I said. “Hey,” his voice rang out loudly, “I wanted to talk to you. I haven’t had the chance all day but I’m hoping you’re free now”

“Yeah I am, its my off day today" I said. “Okay great, I had Zeke over when the blog posts dropped.” “Oh”

“Yeah, I wanted to see how you’re dealing with it,” he spoke. “I never really saw you as the type to be use to all this coverage. I told him we might want to wait a few more days-” I hurried to interrupt him. “It's okay ‘Ren", his nickname easily slipped out. “I know you mean well but I’m sure your brother told you they need to stick to the schedule” I spoke.

“well- yeah but if you needed the time it could all wait” he spoke earnestly, his side of the call was quiet and it surprised me. I never thought about how his life must have looked daily but I imagined he was in his own apartment. Sitting on his couch, maybe petting his dog or watching a game muted while listening to the sounds of the phone held to his ear. I imagined as I look around my own living room.

“Thank you, I know but we already agreed and they know what they are doing. We can’t really argue with Mallory or Zeke since it’s started.”

“I guess you’re right but let me know if it's too much, yeah?”

“Yeah, I will” I agreed.

“Good, I also called since I wanted to ask are you busy tonight?” he shyly asked, “because if you are I totally understand but um-” I listened feeling the heat hit my cheeks. “Do you want to go out tonight? Maybe get something to eat. Or we could stay in, you can come to mine and I’ll order food or something.” He rushed out the last words.

“Would it be okay if you came over to mine and we could eat in?”

“YEAH, yeah” he repeated a little in disbelief. “Does Thai food sound good? I can send you a link to a place's menu and pick some up later”

“That’s perfect, I’ll send my address” I said.

“Great- can I come over around 5?”

“Sure, but ren,” “Yeah?” he said hesitantly. “This isn’t a date, you’ll have to actually ask me out on a date” “

So we’re already planning second dates now?” he teasingly said.

“No, just making sure I make you know just because the internet says you 're together doesn’t mean you don’t have to put some effort in. If this is going to work, I want this to be slow but serious” I said.

“Trust me, I want to see how this goes but I also want you to want me” he said. ‘So did I’ is all I could think. “I know Eren,” I said “I’ll see you later and we can talk more later yeah?”

“Yup, I will text you when I’m on the way”

As I got off the phone, I went to tidy around the house before I could even prepare to get ready. Checking and double checking that everything was nice and neat. The nerves hit me despite knowing Eren would not judge my tiny slightly shambled home. A bell chimed from my phone, turning around as I looked around the room before spotting the small device. I found it innocently looking up again from the coffee table, this time the message wasn’t from Mallory or perhaps Eren saying he was headed over. One word,

Jean: hey

[biglisbonnews]

Carl Craig Is Bringing Techno to the Galleries of MOCA Detroit-based techno pioneer Carl Craig is no stranger to filling out a warehouse. Over the course of his 30-year career, the celebrated DJ and producer has played all sorts of rooms, from Carnegie Hall with his Synthesizer Ensemble to hosting live streams from South Africa's former apartheid prison Constitution Hill and playing at the Tese 98 naval complex for the 59th Venice Biennale (and that's just in the past two years).But Craig's next endeavor sees him elevating his club sounds to a whole new level as he's set to bring an immersive installation to Los Angeles' Museum of Contemporary (MOCA).Related | Partying in the Basement of Dia Beacon With Carl CraigOriginally commissioned by the Dia Art foundation, Craig is set to bring his Party/After-Party installation to the museum's WAREHOUSE space at The Geffen Contemporary at MOCA just in time to coincide with their annual fundraising gala. Drawing on Craig's extensive experience as a globe-trotting DJ, Party/After-Party invites visitors to experience the physical and auditory sensation of moving through a club from the perspective of a DJ. From the quiet early moments before the doors open to the night's pulsating apex and finally emerging into the melancholic clarity of it's afterglow, the installation plays off of the space's architecture, interspersing thin strips of neon lights that pierce through cavernous industrial void before opening up into a bath of natural light with skylights symbolizing the night's transition to "dawn."Conceived of prior to the advent of COVID-19 pandemic before all clubs were forced to shutter their doors, Party/After-Party is a reminder of the unique communal ecstasy and harsh desolation that we were deprived of over the past three years. Additionally, the site-specific soundscape honors techno's Black history and the industrial landscape of the city that gave birth to the genre. “With Party/After-Party, Craig fuses the legacies of Detroit techno and minimalist sound art,” MOCA Associate Curator and organizer of the exhibition, Alex Sloane, said in a statement. “Using MOCA’s WAREHOUSE itself as the inspiration for his composition, Craig has created a new chapter for the work. Melding an afrofuturist aesthetic with a playful commitment to the unexpected, Party/After-Party situates club culture firmly within the museum space and does so through the lens of techno and the Black artists who pioneered the genre.”Of the project, Carl Craig told PAPER in 2020 that: "The work itself is a reflection of my reality — the visual, sonic, and emotional connections or disconnections that I have experienced over the past thirty years as a DJ on the road. In contrast to the glamorous perception of the touring musician, I wanted to reflect the isolation of the many hours spent alone in hotel rooms and the tinnitus that I, and many other artists, have to contend with as a result of our work...when you step into this vast space, it is like stepping into a reflection of my own mind."Along with the opening of Party/After-Party, MOCA has teamed up with Insomniac and Secret Project a series of three live concerts at The Geffen Contemporary at MOCA on Thursday, May 25, Saturday, June 17 and Saturday, July 22. Organized with Craig, the Party/After-Party session will feature performances from Moodymann, DJ Holographic, Moritz von Oswald, King Britt, DJ Minx and Kenny Larkin among others as an extension of the installation and Craig's practice.Carl Craig's Party/After-Party will be on display at The Geffen Contemporary at MOCA starting April 16 through July 23. Photo courtesy of MoCA https://www.papermag.com/carl-craig-party-afterparty-moca-2659518360.html

[transmissionsfromthebattlefield]

DEVOtion, Day One

DEVOTIONAL. I called it “a bunch of nerds in a room” last year, and I stand by my previous classification of this excruciatingly nerdy event. Keep it wack, Cleveland.

But indulging in nerdy activities also allows one to see some impressive musical acts, engage in fascinating conversation, and see friends old and new that you’ve been waiting the whole year to get all in their faces calling them what they are: “NERRRRDS.” In short, it’s one of the most weekends of the year.

Fridays at DEVOtional are usually held in the tavern of the Beachland Ballroom, yet so many tickets sold this year that they had to move it to the main room. It was truly surreal. Yet it worked like a charm, and if anything, it just extends the excitement of Saturday, so if it’s what we gotta do to get all those nerds in that goddamn room, I’m good with it.

A good pal of mine, Malcolm Tent, truly opened this year’s installation with a set of “unwanted DEVO songs.” He’d been advertising it on Facebook for at least a week leading up to the event, and it definitely lived up to the hype. While I expected an acoustic set from the times he’s previously played DEVOtional, he instead unleashed a slew of mind-crushing electronic loops straight out of the rubber factory as he gestured the lyrics to “I Desire” like twisted spoken word. David Kendrick, who drummed for DEVO, frankly obliterated the skins for the last half of the set as Malcolm shredded his yowling electric guitar with a loose drumstick. It was beautiful, and dare I say it was the best set of the weekend. But we’ll get to Fight Milk in a bit.

Malcolm was also the one who recruited me to create the art for the back of an album exclusive to this DEVOtional, DEVOted. It’s an intentionally bootleggy compilation of live tracks from past years, and it’s pretty damn DEVO all around. I’m proud of how my back cover turned out, and I’m glad I was able to lend a hand.

The BIG news was this year’s most esteemed first-time attendee, Mark Mothersbaugh himself. I remember the state of disbelief I was in when I saw his name on the DEVOtional flyer when it was first made public. Just about everyone who has ever gone to a DEVOtional had been going back and forth about Mark’s not being there for years, and he finally decided to give it a shot. There he was on Friday night, taking videos of bands on his phone and excitedly talking with his loyal followers. When I reminded him that I fake-punched him in New York last May by waving my fist at him, he took my wrist and yanked it at his chin and made me actually sock him. I could actually feel it in my fingers for a few minutes afterwards. During one of the bands I looked across the room and saw him take a giant bite out of the sleeve someone’s copy of oh, no! it’s DEVO. After the weekend was over I got to see photos on Facebook of him with other people’s phones in his mouth. He. Got. CRUUUUUNK. And it was glorious.

Max got to nerd out to him about Mark’s brother Jim’s old school electronic drum kit from the seventies, and Mark filmed him doing it, so that footage exists on Mark’s phone. Ah, technology.

Very serious.

The Akronauts, who mixed energetic DEVO covers with originals, followed Malcolm. They brought the fun and the funky basslines. Poopy Necroponde, who turned my brain inside out last year, followed, though this year they probably got closer to blowing my ears out! I’m glad my ears got the break they deserved after this weekend, especially from Morgan PC’s hardcore de-vo squelches and voiceboxes! Both bands really bought the fashion, with white jumpsuits and neon blue berets respectively. The latter’s bass player remains one of the coolest women in existence with her stage presence alone.

I completely missed Weird Paul Petroskey’s closing set, which I’d been highly anticipating, because I was too busy having a conversation with an old school University of Akron alum outside, so I bought some of Paul’s CDs to make up for it. That was a reoccurring theme of the weekend: missing things because I was too busy being engaged in gripping talk with cool elders.

For such a shakeup, it ran smoothly as ever. Every act was energized to the max, and there was really was plenty of great conversation to have, whether it was with old friends, new friends, or Mark Mothersbaugh hopped up on Bloody Marys. It was a pretty damn great prelude to the jam packed Saturday that followed.

Also, look at how cute we are!

[the-butterfly-blues]

Budding Romance

Chapter Two A Friends to Lovers/Slight Enemies to Lovers Series Pairing: Steven Grant x Female Reader, Marc Spector x Reader, eventual Jake Lockley x Reader. Word Count: 2378 Summary: The morning is relaxing as [Name] enjoys breakfast with Steven, but the night has only become more difficult with the appearance of 'mummy boy'. Content Warning: Minor violence, mentions of dying/Death (Lady Death enjoys manipulating some of the lives of people in the comics) The breakfast I was basing it off of is this delicious mixture of different seeds with almond butter that tastes great spread on rice cakes. Requests or Prompts you'd like to see are gladly welcome. Series Masterlist * Previous Chapter * Next Chapter

A soft knock wakes her from her sleep on the couch, the television's light illuminating the room as the dark curtains block out any natural light. Whoever is at the door is persistent as they knock again, this time a little louder.

"Who is it," she calls out without moving from the softness of the cushions. "It's Steven!"

With a mumbled curse, she jumps up and rushes to the dresser in the corner of the open floor room. Last night was long and tiring, the encounter with the odd white-suited man only making it even more so. People must have collectively decided to make her life hell and go on a crime spree, leaving her barely any time to rest in between. She peels off her suit and quickly changes into comfortable clothing while scanning the room, searching for anything out of place.

"[Name]? Are you alright?" "Yeah, yeah, just.. Give me a minute."

On the coffee table is the crescent-shaped dart she had taken. With her web shooters, she grabs it and shoves it into her drawer along with any other gadgets she has left on herself. Glancing over her place one last time, she's content to find nothing out of place as she closes the drawer and rushes to the door. Steven stands in the hall in his pajamas with a small, nervous smile and the almond butter she had asked him to bring.

"We can always do breakfast tomorrow if you want."

His voice is soft upon seeing the unusual dark spots beneath her eyes as his free hand fiddles with the sleeve of his sweater.

"No, no, I just didn't set my alarm last night."

Her statement is emphasized with a yawn as she gestures for him to come in which he happily does, glad that she hadn't decided to move their usual Saturday breakfast to Sunday. After switching between apartments and cooking breakfast for one another on this one day for the past two months, it would be odd to change it up or miss it now.

"As always, make yourself at home."

She grabs the butter from him as he looks at the new additions to her flat. Photos are now pinned on a small section of the wall and different papers are stuck to the fridge with magnets.

"These are new." "Yeah, thought they'd make this place feel a little more homey."

He starts looking over them as she begins making breakfast for both of them. So many different photos of different people litter the spot, some overlapping others. One of them is an older man, someone that looks oddly familiar, but he can't quite place it. Maybe it's her father as he appears in different photos of the two doing mundane things. Another is a blonde woman who is also in a few with her supposed father as well as with a baby and a little girl. He suspects the baby is the girl as the woman looks a bit older in the latter one. The next most prominent person is a teen boy. Almost every photo of them is filled with smiles or goofy faces while a few others are of the two concentrating on what looks like homework. One rectangular image quickly catches his eye. It's older, one from when she was in school. Her arms are wrapped around a boy's neck as she appears to be on his back. It looks as if they had been laughing during this interaction, but that's not what caught his attention. Circular glasses sit on the bridge of her nose.

"You used to wear glasses?" "Uh, yeah. Switched to contacts in college because I got tired of getting called four-eyes." "I think you looked cute." "Maybe I oughta switch back to them then."

Looking at one last photo, it's weird. A man with a black and red mask covering the top half of his face is comically kissing her cheek while she feigns disgust. The outfit she's wearing is just as odd as the man. It appears to be some kind of red skintight shirt with a blue outer tank top. Not wanting to spend too much time looking at her photos, he makes his way to the kitchen.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" "Put some almond butter in a bowl for me? This is almost done."

Without having to ask where, he grabs a bowl from the cabinet, already having familiarized himself with her kitchen after coming over so many times. He does as she asks with a smile, just happy to help where he can.

~~~

Despite wanting so badly to stay home and have a normal night, she suits up. The red spandex sits snugly against her skin while the blue sleeveless hoodie is loose and comfortable. Little gadgets sit around her wrists and on her belt which holds the hem of her hoodie in place so it isn't falling over her face whenever she hangs upside down. Pulling down her mask, she crawls out of her window and up to the roof, the A.I. in her suit already connected to the local police scanners in the area. She finds it both a blessing and a curse being Scarlet Spider, the blessing being cool powers and having the ability to help others while the curse is that crime never sleeps and the lack of rest along with any sense of normalcy. That was until she met Steven. He changed just about everything for her the second he stepped into her apartment for dinner. Ringing sounds from the earpiece in her suit and she answers it immediately once she sees who it is.

"What's up, captain?" "Scarlet! I need you to get to.. I'm sorry. I forgot you were in London for a minute, it's a force of habit by now."

They'd been working together ever since she joined the force, both easily taking a liking to one another despite their personality differences, so it was understandable that calling her was her first go-to in a high-stakes situation.

"If you guys need me, I can easily catch the next flight home." "No, no, it's nothing we can't handle on our own." "Are you sure you don't need me to come over and web up any baddies?" "Yeah, I'm sure.. When are you coming back? It's weird without our original Friendly Neighborhood Spider."

She chuckles while looking over the city from atop one of the taller buildings.

"I honestly don't know. I wasn't planning on staying this long, but I met this guy." "Oh, so it's a guy keeping you away from work, huh?" "Not like that! We're just friends.."

Even the police captain can hear how her words are tinted with sadness and she can understand. The last relationship she was in didn't end too well because of what she does.

"Listen, he just.. makes me feel normal, Yuri. Whenever I'm with him, all the pressure fades away."

From the corner of her eye, she catches some movement, though it's hard to discern from where she is, so she starts moving closer.

"Take as long as you need then. Forever even. We can't always rely on you to solve all of our problems." "I'll be back at some point. Can never stay away from you for too long. I do have to get going though, something's popped up." "Of course. I'm nearly at the scene anyways. Talk soon, Scarlet." "Talk soon, Yuri!"

By the time they hang up, [Name] has caught up with the odd man she encountered the night before. He appears to be scoping out a building, what for, she doesn't particularly know. Not wanting to start another fight unless absolutely necessary, she watches from her spot on the opposite rooftop. Suddenly, without warning, her head begins pounding, causing her to jump back and raise her fists. Looking around, she sees nothing, but the aching feeling in her head is still there. After minutes of waiting for anything, but receiving nothing, she takes a step forward back to her original spot on the edge of the building. The ringing in her head gets louder and what she can't see is an old Egyptian Deity staring down at her curiously. Tired of whatever is messing with her senses, she rushes past the 'hot spot' and jumps to the rooftop where Marc carefully watches the building across the street. She's silent in her landing, having been able to perfect it with the many years of practice under her belt, and watches him supposedly without him knowing.

'The spider has returned.'

He doesn't move as Khonshu informs him of her whereabouts, not wanting to give up that he knows she's here just yet.

'It is quite the odd little thing. I believe it can sense my presence, but cannot see me.'

That piques his interest greatly just as it does Khonshu's. Maybe, if she proves to be more trouble than it's worth, he could have the God help him in distracting her.

'It has grabbed something from its belt.'

At the sound of that and a light click, he throws one of his darts as he spins around. He's seen what one of her gadgets can do and doesn't want to find out what the rest of them do. She easily dodges it while dropping the object and shoots back at him with her webs, the white eyes of her mask wide with surprise. The web hits his chest, the other end still attached to her wrist as she yanks, unexpectedly pulling him toward her.

"Nice to see you again too, mummy boy."

She throws a punch, but he blocks it.

"Will you stop calling me that?"

Punches are continuously thrown throughout their conversation.

"Only if you calm down." "I'm not the one sneaking up behind you and throwing some little gadget at you." "I was getting my Spidey-Bot out to see if I could help you. Now it's broken!" "Why do you want to help me after yesterday? You don't even know who I am." "I don't need to know who you are. You don't seem like a bad person, at least compared to most of the other people I've had to deal with." "Then why should I trust you?"

Catching both of his fists, she holds them still while looking him in the eye, becoming deathly serious.

"Because I didn't web you up for the police, nor have I thrown you off this roof yet. If I can stop a bus from getting hit by a train, I'm pretty sure I could lob you off this building if I really wanted to." 'I like this one.'

Marc rolls his eyes at the God while taking a step back, showing that he'd no longer put up a fight with the woman. She smiles, her mask moving up slightly as she does, and happily moves past him to look at the building he'd been scoping out, ignoring the throbbing pain behind her eyes.

"Now, other than watching the building, what are you doing and why?"

He looks to Khonshu, wondering if it was alright to tell her about their mission.

'It appears to be trustworthy.' "She, not it." "What?" "Nothing."

Joining her at the edge of the building, he begins to tell her of a man wishing to release evil upon the world. She listens intently while watching the people that guard the warehouse. If not for the guns they were holding, she would've thought it was any old building harboring excess inventory.

"This guy, Harrow, wants to release an age-old Egyptian God in order to kill anyone who has yet to commit a crime that they're supposed to commit in the future no matter the changes or choices they make? And if you, who is also serving a God, don't stop him, then a lot of innocent people will die?" "Exactly." "Is your God here right now?" "He is." "So that's what I've been feeling."

Now knowing that what's causing her senses to go on the fritz isn't going to harm her, the headache slowly eases into the usual ringing in her ears.

"Alright. I say-" "You're not weirded out by any of this? Gods and whatnot?" "I've fought aliens, I've been to space, and I've met Death, only one thing weirds me out nowadays, and luckily, he's in a different country- as far as I know."

He can't help but snort slightly at the humor behind her words before fully dissecting what she has just implied.

"Wait, you've met Death?" "Yeah! She's a lovely lady, big fan of my work." "How- How did you meet Death?" "Well, I died, duh. I was really young, so she felt really bad for me, but it was mostly because supposedly it wasn't my time yet. Then I met her again for a few moments before they revived me, CPR or defibrillator, I can't quite remember. Said she doesn't mind sparing me as long as I die doing hero work or sacrificing myself. Cool, huh?"

Speechless, Marc simply stares at her.

'Anubis would be very pleased if I suggested it to be his Avatar.'

She looks back out to the building with a thoughtful hum. Without a word, she retrieves the device she had dropped when he threw his dart, showing it to be the damaged Spider-Bot. She takes her time looking it over before looking back up at him as her words finally settle.

"Anyways, as I was saying, give me two days and I can get you any information you need from that building without raising any kind of alarm." "Really?" "I've been doing this kind of thing for years. I met Tony Stark after sneaking into Stark Industries to get a piece I needed to upgrade my web shooters, I'm sure I can get past a couple of guys with guns."

Marc looks to Khonshu, his decision ultimately affecting the outcome.

'I say we give the little spider a chance to prove itself a valuable asset.' "Alright. Two days and we meet back here." "See you then, Moony!"

Before he can say anything about the new nickname, she's already swinging away. He does have to admit, it's definitely better than 'mummy boy'.

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Bit longer than I expected, but it's everything I wanted for this chapter. The next one will probably be shorter. Plan on focusing more on Steven figuring out the spider secret for the next two-ish chapters before getting into the events of the series. Hope you enjoy it so far, please let me know. Taglist: @ninjarose23

[africanotaku92]

Schrodinger's Boy

I missed Phan Phic Phight but now I'm here for Dannymay! Not really going along with the prompts, just wanted to write something for the month.

I dedicate this to @five-rivers because i love their stuff so much!

Please, enjoy!

***

Schrödinger’s Boy

It was dead when she saw it.

Oh so very dead, but walking. Talking. Living.

That really doesn’t make sense, so let’s start from the beginning;

Nelia Ugochi d’Bandinello was not a normal child. Ever since she was young, she could see death. And no, not like the walking skeleton clad in black robes and a scythe most people assume, but real death; the dead, the dying, the undead, all. No one, not even her closest family members knew, and she intended to keep it that way. As long as she kept to her own and didn’t cross the line for the rules, she was safe.

Ever since her family moved to this country, she knew the small, sleepy town was a little dead. The essence was in every nook and cranny, even the air had a thin yet distinctive layer of it. Nothing she couldn’t handle.

That is, until now.

The air’s death suddenly sharpened the moment before it walked in.

At first glance, it looked like a boy. A cute boy in fact. Short compared to her tall. Pale skin in contrast to her deep dark, straight black hair opposed to curly blond. Baby blue opposing forest green. But then, the closer she looked, the more she noticed what was off. Skin was a little too pale to be considered healthy, and became slightly transparent as she saw more. Hair was wispy and floaty, almost defying gravity, almost flowing like it was under water as its head bounced. Eyes a bit more, sunken, a bit more tired. Worst of all, its heartbeat sounded so, so slow.

And now, it was sitting two tables across from her.

She swallowed the milkshake that threatened to spill out of her mouth. She tried to turn back to her food, tried to ignore its presence. But she kept glancing its way, turning back to the most terrifying yet fascinating creature she had ever seen.

And she just. Kept. Staring.

One of its cohorts – the black one with glasses – pointed at her direction, and it suddenly looked over. Their eyes made contact. She gasped and looked away.

‘Such haunting eyes.’ She thought.

“Nelia? What’s wrong?” She looked up to see her brother Irnerio, who had previously been trying to unhinge his jaw to fit an absolutely massive burger, was now looking at her in concern.

“Nothing.” She forced out. She glanced back at them. Her brother’s concerned face was already contorting into a smug grin.

“Oh? Falling in love already?” He chuckled “It’s the pale boy, right?” Her cheeks heated. Definitely not what was happening.

“Shut up.”

“Well, you did say that one of the advantages of moving was ‘Date cute Americans’. Though I must say, I always thought that the goth girl would be more your type. You could both indulge in your weird fascination with death.”

She hit her brother in the ribs.

“Stolto*.” She hissed. “I said shut up.”

Her brother laughed.

***

“Dude, the new girl is totally checking you out.”

Danny swallowed his bite of a burger. “What?”

He, Sam and Tucker had gone to Nasty Burger for lunch that Saturday, and had noticed the two newest additions to the town residence. The girl had been looking at them ever since they walked in.

“She’s probably not into me. Probably looking at Sam. They look foreign, so for all we know, she may be their first goth.”

“An honour I am willing to have with pride.”

“She’s looking over here right now!”

Danny turned to where Tucker was pointing and sure enough, she was looking at them. They made eye contact, and hers widened and she looked away.

“See? Totally into you.” Danny rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, Tuck.” He continued eating his burger. But somehow, he couldn’t shake the stare off of him. As if she was looking past his flesh and staring at the very ghost that made his soul.

He shivered at the thought.

***

Oh God above, it went to her school.

The creepy thing goes to her school.

She wondered how it got into her school. She wondered why, of all things, it had to attend as a student.

Mondays where truly the worst days of the week.

She had learned the creatures name was Danny Fenton, official school weirdo, son of the two most successful ghost hunters (oh the irony), and all-round loser she shouldn’t interact with (according to the Mexican girl that approached her). She didn’t really care though, as much as she was weary, she still wanted to know what it was. And she was determined to find out.

The bell rang, pulling her out of her thoughts. She sighed and pulled her books from her locker. She didn’t want to be late.

***

Hours later, school was long over, and Nelia was busy at work in the kitchen, kneading dough for her second batch of strawberry calzones, the first already in the oven. Her mother stood at in front of the doorway, watching her.

“That’s a lot of dessert calzones for 4 people.”

She finished kneading and started rolling out the dough. “Oh no, ours are part of the last batch. Most of these are offerings.” She turned to her mother. “I’m going to the Cemetery after dinner. To pay some respects.”

Her mother sighed. There was no talking her out of this. Every time they go someplace new, she always paid her respects at a local gravesite. She stopped trying to prevent her a long time ago.

“Well, just be back before midnight. But in the meantime, let me help you close the ones you’ve already filled. We could talk, use some mother daughter bonding time.” She smiled and nodded at her mum, handing her a spare apron. She gladly took it and set to work beside her daughter.

“Have you heard? There’s a story I heard. They say this town has some kind of ghost hero…”

***

It was late in the evening, and she had paid her respects at the last grave when she saw him.

And he was oh so very much Alive.

Silver white hair adorned his head like a glowing crown. Striking, electric green eyes, a black jumpsuit with white boots and gloves. Veins, across his skin, visible with the implication of pure green death flowing in them, the sound of each breath he takes. A pulsating buzz emitting from his chest, almost sounding like a beating heart. These where the features of Amity Park’s local hero and (dead) celebrity, Danny Phantom.

And he had just landed in front of her.

“Um, are you ok? It’s pretty late out.”

She blinked at first, startled to hear him talk, but composed herself enough to speak.

“Ah, yes I’m fine. Just, paying my respects.” She gestured to the grave and the basket of food.

“Oh, really? That’s nice of you! Apart from family, hardly anyone pays respect these days.”

“Yes, it’s something I try to do everywhere I go. Speaking of respect, where’s yours?”

Danny blinked. “My what?”.

“Your grave. I have to pay my respects to you. This is the only cemetery in town, but I didn’t see your grave.”

Danny froze in shock. He hadn’t really thought about it.

“Oh. I kind of, uhm, don’t have one?” Because I’m not really dead.

It was Nelia’s turn to be shocked. And then she was angry. Was this town really so ungrateful that they didn’t have a grave for their hero? That wouldn’t do.

“Where do you want one?”

“What?”

“Where would you want your grave? I’m going to make you one.”

Danny’s eyes widened.

“Your… going to make a grave for me?” “Of course? It’s only common decency, a basic right to the dead. I might not have your body, but if I have a photo to at least mark your image, it would do.”

Danny was stunned by this gesture. No one had offered him a grave before. So, he told her about his ideal spot.

Weeks later, in a secluded spot in the woods, he stands with her above a freshly dug grave, underneath a willow tree, facing directly at the night sky marked with a picture of him in his ghost form. She drops a plate of calzones and lights some lavender incense. She pays her respects and stands back letting him trace over the picture and admire the grave. It’s not the best grave, but it’s also the only one he’s received. He couldn’t help it, as a few tears dripped from his eyes. It was a sweet gift.

He turns to her, clasps his hand in hers. He manages to choke out between tears.

“Thank you.”

She stares back at him. This action, it’s so… human. She senses familiarity, like she could almost imagine him when he was alive……

Oh.

Oh.

The connection between the dead boy and alive ghost hits her like a train, all the similarities adding up. She smiles at him.

“It’s your grave. You should bring your friends to see it.”

His eyes widen in panic, wondering how she found out. She shakes her head.

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

He relaxes and nods, let’s go of her hands and they stare back at his very own grave. Sam and Tucker are going to flip when they see it.

That night, she’s back in her room, wide awake, thinking of everything that happened. His hands were cold, but not like death cold. Like he had stuck his hands in the freezer. His tears were so real.

This boy, who was dead yet alive. Walking perfectly on the line between life and death, tittering to neither side.

Schrödinger’s boy indeed.

[bnhabadass]

Pairing: Shinsou x Reader Genre: Angst with happy ending, NSFW Word Count: 4,049 Synopsis: Shinsou is sick and tired of seeing you go out on all these disappointing Tinder hookups, especially when you always seem to ask him to satisfy you afterwards. But there must be a reason why you keep going on these dates, right? A/N: This is my piece for the bnharem roommates collab. I always forget how much I love writing Shinsou’s character but this definitely brought my spark with him back. Make sure to check out everyone else’s collab pieces on the masterlist!

Another night of tinder swipes. Another night of late night walks through desolate and windy streets. Another night of sleepy dinner and listening to the same old boring stories that every date has to offer. Another night of disappointing sex as he can’t seem to find the hole and his finger nails are sharper than they need to be. Another night of two pump chumps who ask, “does that feel good baby?” and another night of lying through your teeth as you fake moans and count the seconds before you’re allowed to leave.

It’s just like any other Saturday night where your toes are crushed in the tips of your heels and you shiver as you walk back to your apartment, keys clutched between your fingers just in case someone tries to pull something and you need to think quickly. You have your routine ingrained in you, like second nature.

The walk back home is cold and clammy. You can’t shake the feeling of the little hairs on your arms and legs springing up like a cat in shock as the wind pushes right past you. The only thing you could think of to keep yourself from toppling over from exhaustion was the heat that would be coming from your room back home, the fuzzy blanket you’d lie under, and the man awaiting your return to greet you with surprises like no other.

When you did open the front door, heat wafted towards you and your achy muscles began to relax.

“Rough night?” The voice from inside cooed.

“‘Oh baby do you like that?’” you mocked. “‘Does that hurt so good?’”

The person sitting on the sofa with a book covering their face laughed. “Please tell me he did not say that.”

You kicked off your heels and rolled out your ankles. “Shinsou, I swear to god, you have to meet some of these people. This one guy was ridiculous. As I was sucking him off he told me I reminded him of his mother.”

The purple haired young man gagged. “And you still sucked his dick?”

“That’s the best part,” you laughed. “He finished right after he said that.”

Shinsou grimaced. “Why do you keep going on these dates when everyone you end up sleeping with sucks.”

You collapsed on the couch next to him. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because a certain someone always ends up taking care of me after.” Laying your head in his lap, you smiled up at him.

Shinsou gave you a lazy smirk back. “So that’s it, huh? I actually know how to use my tongue so you’re purposefully coming home unsatisfied.”

“I wouldn’t say purposefully,” you said with a mock offended tone to your words. “If there ever is a man out there who did know how to please me then I can guarantee I wouldn’t be coming home every night I have a date.”

He propped his cheek up against the palm of his hand. “But that hasn’t happened yet, has it.”

You loved this, the flirty and dangerous aroma in the air. It was intoxicating and you craved every bit of it.

“So what are we going to do about it?”

You leaned up and kissed him, and then that kiss led to another. Soon you had gotten up and moved into Shinsou’s bedroom. Your tights had been stripped down and your dress was pulled up over your ass.

Getting onto his elbows and knees, Shinsou readied himself to lick his first stripe along your folds and make you melt beneath him.

The week went by, like usual, and your relationship with Shinsou remained the same, just like usual. You’d each come home from work, him tired from training and patrols and you exhausted with paperwork and having to deal with bothersome coworkers taking up all your spare time.

Nothing happens during the week. The two of you laugh and joke around like best friends, like neither of you have seen each other naked, and you’re sure you’re happy this way. That’s what Shinsou keeps telling himself anyway.

You never seem to notice the way his eyes linger on you for a split second too long or the way he glares at your phone over your shoulder as you swipe left or right on dating apps. You’d think that if he was jealous he would try to distance himself, to back away from the trouble you might get in and the disappointment you’d find after each hookup. But no, Shinsou cares too much about you to let you go out on your own without knowing who, where and how you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

“Hey Shin,” you call from the couch on Thursday night. You’re lying down with your feet propped up against the arm rest. Shinsou has to move them out of the way before plopping down himself.

“What’s up.” His large palm rubbed up and down your legs as they rested on his lap.

“I think I matched with someone who won’t be horrible in bed.” You showed him your phone, and as he scrolled through his profile you could feel the itchy heat of embarrassment rising to your face.

Shinsou’s heart seemed to stop. His eyes widened when he read the words “pornstar” and “Onlyfans'' in the dude’s bio. Handing your phone back to you, he kept his eyes trained on the floor. “That’s great. He seems like he knows what he’s doing.”

“Yeah.” You took the phone back and resumed looking through his photos. “He messaged me earlier and we have a lot in common too.”

Shinsou nodded. Why did he feel so weird? He knew that not every guy you matched with would be a disappointment. He had been telling that to himself for months now, but watching the nervous smile that crept up your face as you received a new message from this guy made Shinsou want to scream. “I’m gonna go for a run,” he said, lifting up your legs to stand up from the couch.

“Really? It’s dark out. Are you sure you want to go running?” You didn’t look up from your phone.

“Yeah I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, stay safe. Oh! Did you still want to watch a movie tonight?”

Shinsou froze. “Um, maybe not tonight. I’m not sure. I’ll see if I’ve cooled down a bit after my run.”

You looked up from the screen, slightly deterred. “Oh, okay. Have a good run.” You weren’t exactly sure what he meant by that. He hadn’t seemed to be bothered by anything earlier, so why was he acting weird now? You were sure you hadn’t said anything to make him upset and when he told you about his day, he didn’t seem bothered by anything that happened at work.

Rolling over on your side, you continued texting this new guy, a new sense of nervousness clouding your vision.

It’s Saturday night and you’re putting on your makeup. Your hands which have never been shaky before have fucked applying your eyeliner three times now. You’re not sure why you’re so nervous. You’ve met up with guys every weekend for months now. Could it be that this guy is different because he knows what he’s doing? Yeah, that must be it. You’re worried that you won’t be good enough for him, right?

Still, that didn’t seem like that was it. You were so excited talking to him at first. He made you laugh and you wanted to meet up with him so bad, to see his charm in person. But then you showed his profile to Shinsou and things started to feel different, like somehow they were falling apart.

You haven’t spoken to your roommate much in the last couple days. His usual pokes and prods at the men you tend to meet up with were replaced with silence. You haven’t joked around like usual or spent time together unwinding after work, and you were worried. It hadn’t been this distant between you since one of your female friends told you about a guy she knew who was looking for a roommate and the two of you met for the first time.

Since then, you haven't gotten anything but closer. You began your weekly rituals of getting takeout and watching movies and getting drunk after particularly rough days at work. Living with Shinsou was the happiest you have been in a long time. So why did that change?

Stepping out of your bedroom, makeup incomplete and dress unbuttoned, you peered into the living room where Shinsou was working.

He sat shirtless on the couch, legs propped up on the automen with his laptop balanced on his legs. His wild purple hair, which had gotten longer since the two of you met, was loosely tied back with a hair tie. His gray sweatpants were untied and you were sure that if he were to stand up they would ride low on his hips.

As you stared at his profile, you couldn’t help but admire how his chiseled face, adorning a pair of reading glasses, looked so serene as he stared at the work ahead of him. He looked calm, calmer than you’ve seen him in a while, and that made his face more youthful. Shinsou stretched out his arms and you could hear his corded back crack before he went back to typing away.

You ran back into your room and slammed the door. Your face was hot and flushed. Beads of sweat permeated on your temples. How could such a simple act of stretching make you feel so hot and bothered and worked up and oh no. How is it that you were so blind? You were in love with your roommate.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

You paced back and forth, rubbing all of the makeup off of your eyes in the process. You stared at your blackened fingers and rubbed them on your dress, not caring that it would dirty. Thinking back to all the moments you cuddled as “friends” and all the times you would lay together after a disappointing date, you were able to pinpoint each exact moment where your feelings grew.

You sat on your bed and watched as your hands shook. You couldn’t go on this date now. You don’t care about the guy, no matter how good at sex he might claim to be. The entire time, you’d just be wishing you were on a date with Shinsou. Granted, every date you’ve been on, a little part of you has wished it was with Shinsou. Every week you couldn’t wait until it was over so you could be enveloped yet again in his flirty aroma that was so, so addictive.

So that was it, you wouldn’t go on the date and things would go back to normal between the two of you. But would they really? What would you say if he asked why you cancelled? All you wanted were things to go back to the way they were. You wanted to bask in the flirty air and feel Shinsou hold you close and caress every curve of your body with so much love and tenderness.

You stood up and looked at your blotchy face in the mirror. Surrounding your eyes was a mix of black and shimmery gold swarming together. You wiped them off along with the rest of your makeup. You won’t be going out tonight so there’s no point of dolling up.

What am I going to do?

You slid off your dress and slipped into a pair of pajama bottoms and threw on a tank top. The least you could be is comfortable in such a stressful situation.

I can’t act the way I used to, knowing how I feel now.

You may have been an idiot for this, but you decided to face your situation head on. Without doing so, who knows how you wouldn’t go crazy living under the same roof as the man you’re in love with.

You stepped into the living room. Shinsou was still typing away and looking over reports, so you cleared your throat to get his attention.

“Hey, you about to go out?” When you didn’t respond, he looked up and his face fell. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you dressed?”

You couldn’t look him in the eye. As soon as you heard him speak and the amount of concern in his voice, you just wanted to cry. The sting of acidic tears and mucus welling in the back of your throat made you want to throw up.

“Did something happen?” He took off his reading glasses and scooched over, letting you take a seat beside him.

But you didn’t move, just kept staring at your cold feet against the hardwood floor.

“(Y/n), talk to me.”

You looked up at him and tears began rolling down your face. You felt so pathetic, that you would be crying over love of all things. Love was supposed to be magical, right? Not embarrassing and tear-ridden. “Can you,” you started, but you needed to take a step back when you heard your achy throat cracking as you spoke. “Can you give me a reason not to go?”

Shinsou adjusted himself. He was clearly trying to make out what you were saying. “What? If you don’t want to go then don’t. No one’s forcing you to go on this date.”

You couldn’t help crumble at what he said. If only he knew what you really looked forward to after each date and what you were really thinking about when you were out with these other guys.

Shinsou stood up as you crumbled to the ground and squatted down next to you, wrapping his arms around you. You sunk into his chest and sobbed against him. It felt so unfair that with his arms around you, you felt whole, like you were two pieces of a puzzle.

“Why do you need a reason not to go on this date? Is he pressuring you or something?”

You shook your head against his chest. “I don’t want to go on a date with him.” On one hand, you thought your subtle hints would get through Shinsou’s thick skull, but it seemed as though they were a paper plane trying to penetrate a brick wall.

“So find some other guy.”

Why was he being so dismissive? You didn’t want just some other guy, you wanted Shinsou.

“Look, you’ve found plenty of other dates in the past, just because you don’t want to go out with one guy doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.” He kept rubbing circles in your back. “Why don’t you call up a past hookup or something?”

You pushed away from him. “How could you say that,” you whispered. “I don’t want to go on a date with one of them.” Your voice began to raise. You had never raised your voice at Shinsou before. “I want to go out with you, you idiot.”

There was a moment where all you could hear were the little noises throughout the apartment like the ticking of the clock in the kitchen or a fly buzzing close by. Then, you slapped a hand over your mouth. You didn’t mean to say that outloud. You didn’t mean to raise your voice or push away from him. But you did blurt it out, and Shinsou looked at you with wide eyes and a slack jaw.

The hair on his arms and the back of his neck raised up like static. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if he should look at you with shock or look away in embarrassment. He was completely and utterly confused.

“Shit,” you whined from behind your hand. “Forget it.” You rubbed the tears under your eyes away and went to stand up. “I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Wait.” Shinsou grabbed your hand before you could fully stand up. You had never realized how small your hands were compared to his until now. “You can’t just say that and then walk away.”

He was right. You sat back down on the ground, his hand still grabbing onto yours, playing with your fingers. “Okay,” you mouthed, knowing you wouldn’t be able to get any sound out if you tried.

“Why do you go on all of these dates?”

You thought about it for a moment. You were never really sure why you bothered hooking up with so many people, but sitting on the ground with him, you had a pretty good idea. “Because we’re roommates.”

“So?”

You kept your eyes on your fingers intertwined with Shinsous. “Because realizing you’re in love with your roommate is shitty, so the least I could do is hope that after an unsatisfying night of sex, you’d be willing to provide.”

He stopped playing with your fingers and instead, squeezed your hand. “And I hated seeing you with these different men so much that any chance you gave me I ate up.”

You blinked once, twice in confusion before meeting Shinsou’s eyes. “You...”

“Mhm,” he nodded.

The heavy weight of tears on your chest finally lifted. You could finally breathe freely. There was silence among you before the two of you burst out laughing. You rested your head on his shoulder as your chests heaved up and down. When you took your head away to look him in the eyes, he leaned in and kissed you. You didn’t hesitate to kiss back and wrap your arms around his neck.

Shinsou dragged your body closer to him, so you were straddling his lap, and weaved his arms around your figure. He was a good kisser, which you already knew, but you had never taken the time to feel his passion until now. Shinsou made sure to tease you with a darting tongue and hands which traveled down your figure and stopped at the base of your hips.

You weaved your hands through his soft hair and pulled his hair tie out. His fluffy purple locks were so fun and tempting to tug on. Kissing him with this amount of love and emotion enthralled you, and you felt a little disappointed when he pulled away.

“Would you like to move this to my bedroom?”

And you bit your bottom lip before nodding, a smile creeping its way up along your face. You stood up and followed him into his bedroom eagerly.

After Shinsou closed the door behind you, he turned around and snaked his hands up your back. You giggled at the contact and let him pull the shirt over your head. You weren’t wearing a bra, so Shinsou immediately leaned over to take one of your nipples in his mouth. He sucked it until it puckered and let it go with a loud pop.

“You know,” he said, backing you against his bed. “I’ve never been able to say until now how truly beautiful you are.”

“Shinsou,” you sighed, taking a hold of his purple locks. You collapsed onto the bed and let him kiss his way down your front side. His kisses were rough but full of love, and you know they would leave bruises behind.

He slid your pajama bottoms and underwear down your thighs until they pooled on the floor at your ankles. “Everything you do is gorgeous, even the way you’re sprawled out under me, under my command just waiting for me to touch you.”

You could feel your pussy clench at his words and your thighs shook in waiting.

He kissed the top of your pussy and trailed kisses around your thighs. You watched as he hiked your legs over his well muscled shoulders while keeping eye contact. His long tongue darted out and he licked one long stripe between your folds and suckled on your little sweet bud.

You arched your back and let out a choked moan. Out of all the nights you’ve slept together, this was the first time you really saw him for all the love he gave you.

Shinsou kept his face right in front of your dripping hole just for a moment and let his hot breath tickle your needy clit. He chuckled at your squirming form and teased you even further with kitten licks and hands that reached up to squeeze your breasts as he dove in to lap up your juices.

Your hands grasped at his, keeping them firmly clenched onto your chest as he delved in deeper and deeper into your wonderful taste. You could feel your orgasm quickly building up. Your toes curled and knees jerked up, hips bucking your clit further up into Shinsou’s mouth. You let out a loud moan and sigh of relief and surprise when you could feel your juices spraying onto Shinsou’s face and watched as they dripped down his chin.

You had never squirted before. You could feel a calm wash over you as you settled down. Shinsou wiped his hand down his chin. “That was fucking sexy.”

He kissed your lower lips one last time before standing up and allowing you to scooch further up on the bed. You were exhausted but it didn’t matter. Watching Shinsou strip down and seeing his cock spring to life only made you want more of him.

He crawled over you and kissed your lips. He tasted like a mix of your juices and honey, probably from that tea you saw him drinking not too long ago. Whatever it was, it was addictive. “Are you ready?” he asked as he positioned the head of his cock in line with your opening.

You nodded, heaving up and down and running your hand along the side of his face. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

Shinsou was thicker than most of the people you had slept with, and you always felt the stretch of him penetrating you every time he pushed himself in.

Knowing that it probably hurt a little, the stretch of it all, he paused every so often and kissed your face, allowing you to warm up before he bottomed out inside of you. You were just so tight and welcoming, it took all his strength not to pound into you immediately, to take it nice and slow as he rubbed against your clit with his thumb.

Your face was hot. It was odd to you that it had never felt this way before, that until now you had never been this nervous to feel his cock pulsing inside of you and to feel his mouth nip at your clit and nipples. You had closed your eyes and focused on your breathing.

Shinsou reached over to tickle the palm of your hand. As you looked up at him, he cupped your face and smiled down at you before he started to thrust his hips.

You squirmed and writhed around as he bucked deeper in and out of the hole that seemed to suck him in further and further.

He felt it was so unfair because he never seemed to last as long as he wanted to when he was with you. The way your aching pussy clenched around him so tight was euphoric. He wanted to let his dick bask in your warm, gushing cavern forever.

“You’re beautiful,” you heard him whisper as he sped up, his orgasm fast approaching. “You’re perfect.”

And again, you squirmed around as that cord built up inside of you and snapped, leaving you gushing around Shinsou’s cock and heaving up and down underneath him.

Shinsou didn’t last much longer. He came almost immediately after you did, feeling your walls clench around him oh so tight. He rolled over next to you and laid his head in the crook of your neck. His hair tickled your nose as you nuzzled into him.

“We should clean up.”

“After snuggles,” he yawned.

You laughed. He’d never been this clingy until now. He had never praised you so much until now. “What does this mean?”

“Hm?”

“For us?”

Shinsou rolled over to look at you. “It means you’re gonna sleep in this bed with me tonight, and tomorrow morning I’m waking up early to make my girlfriend a pancake breakfast. Okay, kitten?”

You had to keep yourself from squealing at the nickname. Instead, you closed your eyes with a goofy smile on your face. “Okay.”

[doubleleoenergy]

V. Off to the Races, Lolita Series

My old man is a tough man, but he got a soul as sweet as blood-red jam. And he shows me, he knows me. Every inch of my tar-black soul.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: bestfriendsdad!Andy Barber x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, mentions of alcohol, mentions of relationship violence, rape, and murder, pet names, passionate sex,

Words: 4025 (I am SO sorry for this)

Summary: Andy takes y/n on a weekend getaway while Jacob and his friends are out of town.

Two weeks had dragged on since Andy had gotten a taste of y/n’s sweet nectar, and since then nothing. It wasn’t like they really had the chance to be alone, Jacob and the other boys weren’t going out late at night or on the weekends as they usually did. Andy had to settle for his hand every night, reminiscing on their oral escapades.

It didn’t help that Andy had been swamped with cases, court appearances, and tons of paperwork. He had spent every night of those two weeks at the office until his eyes physically couldn’t stare at the cases in front of him anymore. Andy even showed up on the weekend to fit in a little extra work, hoping it would help take care of some of the load but to no avail. He was completely and thoroughly exhausted, and he could tell that y/n was as well.

She had worked directly with him on a few late-night cases, the rest of the time being spent shadowing Neal fucking Loguidice. It was great for her internship to do so, getting new perspectives of different attorneys in the office, but it was not as good for his jealousy.

By Thursday evening the heavy load of cases and paperwork had seemed to disappear, and Andy was grateful for being able to leave the office at a decent hour. With y/n in tow, he ducked into his Audi, waiting for y/n to get comfortable in the passenger seat before roaring the vehicle to life.

“Is it just me, or have these past two weeks been exhausting?” He asked, glancing out of the corner of his eyes at y/n as he drove. Andy knew her answer before she even opened her mouth, a loud groan leaving her lips as she rested her head back against the seat.

“You’re telling me, if I have to hear Neal mention one more time about his new kickboxing class, I’m going to gouge my eyes out. He really fucking sucks.” Her words elicit a chuckle from Andy’s lips, a smile of pride seeping onto his face. It was good to know she didn’t have any interest in Neal.

“We should do something fun this weekend, just the two of us. Maybe you’ll let me finally take you on a date” He suggested, lulling his car to a stop at the next red light. Y/N raised an eyebrow in his direction, cocking her head to the side. “Andy, I already told you, I don’t do relationships.”

Andy rolled his eyes, shifting in his seat to look at her. “Yeah, you said that, but I’m in it for the long game, y/n. You have to admit there’s something between us.”

“Andy…” She sighs, watching the sun setting out the passenger window. Sure, there was definitely something between him. Was he different from all the other guys before that she had hooked up with? Yes, of course. First off, she had never been with a man his age, someone with a career, a house, and a car of his own. He even had a pension and a life insurance policy; she hadn’t hooked up with any men who had those.

The car is silent as they pull into the garage, Andy immediately shutting off the car and sitting back in his seat. Y/N looked down at her lap awkwardly, reaching for the door but Andy stopped her with a tug to her wrist, getting her to look up at him.

“You want to be an attorney, right?” The question has her furrowing her brows, looking at him as if he had said ‘You know the sky is blue, right?’

“Of course, you know that, but what does that have to do with-” Andy cuts her off by holding up his index finger, loosening his grip on her wrist. “Attorneys defend their cases in court to a judge or jury, who then ultimately decide the fate of their clients. Their job is to convince someone that their claim is right.” Andy rests one hand on the steering wheel, a smug smirk crossing his lips.

“Saturday morning we’ll leave for a weekend getaway, planned by yours truly. This will all be part of my case as to why we should be together, no more games, officially together. You as the judge will examine the weekend's evidence and conclude on whether we should be together. If you decide after the weekend that you don’t think so, I’ll leave it alone and we won’t have to discuss it ever again. But I’m hoping for it to change your mind.” Before she can protest, Andy holds his hand up. “And I’ll even get us a room with two beds, no funny business, promise. So...will you hear my case out?”

Y/N had to admit, she had never been chased by a guy so ferociously, but what was the harm in seeing the evidence and getting a free weekend vacation out of it? She stuck her hand out for him to shake, a professional gesture for their arrangement. “Alright, I will gladly hear your case out.”

Andy had arranged it all down to the last detail, including lying to Jacob and the boys about an important conference for work that they both had to attend that weekend. Of course, he didn’t suspect a thing, he went out of town for conferences all the time, and thus his plan was set.

When Saturday morning finally arrived, Andy was feeling great. He had gone for an early morning jog, took a long shower, and even trimmed his hair and beard. Andy dressed in a plain white t-shirt and dark denim jeans, packing his bag with his essentials for the evening before walking out into the kitchen. As usual, the boys were all still asleep, hungover from their late-night game of shot roulette, which left the house extremely quiet.

Andy couldn’t help the smile creeping onto his face as he walked into the kitchen and saw y/n waiting at the counter, a familiar plate of breakfast and coffee next to her. “It’s a Saturday, you know that right? Thought breakfast was for workdays.” He stated, moving to sit at his usual spot beside her.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” She responded, taking a swig from her coffee mug. Andy’s eyes wandered along her body; her outfit of the day effortlessly beautiful. She wore a tight white bodysuit tucked into a pair of figure-hugging mint shorts; a pair of matching wedges slipped onto her dainty feet to complete the look.

“You’re right, it is.” Andy’s silverware moved to cut into his meal, chewing thoughtfully as he thought about the day ahead. “You’d think that by making me breakfast you were trying to plead your own case.” He teased, engulfing another bite of his food.

Y/N rolled her eyes at him, moving to set her now empty coffee mug in the sink. “I’ve got nothing to plead, you on the other hand, do.” She waits with her back to the counter, playing on her phone until he finishes his meal, setting his plate in the sink behind her.

“Are you ready to go?” He questioned, grabbing his duffel bag off the floor. Y/N followed suit, grabbing her tiny black suitcase and following him out into the garage. Andy grabbed the suitcase from her, setting it with his own bag in the trunk before they both got into the car, backing slowly out of the driveway.

It was a beautiful day out, the sun was shining, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” Y/N asks, crossing her legs.

“Would it matter? You’re not familiar with the state anyhow.” He retorted, pulling up the address on his GPS as they started on their journey.

“True, I just want to know what I’m getting into.” Her eyes locked on the GPS, noticing the destination was an hour away. “Rockport? What’s in Rockport?” She asked, raising a shapely brow in Andy’s direction.

“Well for starters, it’s along the ocean, which guarantees a good view. It also has great shopping, beaches, and restaurants. It’s a nice little getaway.” Andy turns on the radio as the car goes silent, y/n admiring the view as they drive.

The silence in the car was comfortable, both of them enjoying each other’s company, and before they knew it, they had arrived at their home for the weekend. They were staying at the Cove at Rockport, a beautiful inn right along the ocean. It was even more classy than the photos online, and Andy made quick working of getting them checked into their room.

Andy and y/n walked together down the long hallway to their room, room one on the first floor. Unlocking the door with the key provided, Andy pushed it open, allowing y/n to step in and take in their living arrangements.

The main room was huge, donning a cute little breakfast nook adjacent to the kitchen, a living room, two separate bedrooms, and a bathroom. The decor was all beach themed, of course, shades of blues and beiges filling their sights.

“This definitely deserves a point towards your case.” Y/N admitted, chewing on her bottom lip. It was honestly the nicest place she’d ever stayed at, more luxurious than what she had expected. Walking further into the space, y/n pushed open the sliding door, the sound of waves hitting the shore bursting through her ears as she took in the view. It truly was gorgeous, much different from shitty life in Ohio.

“So, I did alright with my first piece of evidence?” He chortled, leaning back against the cool wall. Y/N continues to take in the view outside, a light breeze picking up and blowing her hair off her shoulders.

“I’d say so.” She shuts the sliding doors and walks back to investigate the sleeping spaces, setting her bags in the room with a large picture of a beach umbrella over the bed, the smaller of the two. “Well, what else do you have planned for your case? Because if this is it, I can come to a decision right away.”

Andy moved his own bag into the opposite room before walking into y/n’s and sitting down on the plush comforter. “I wanted to start the trip with a walk downtown, explore some of the shops before we get ready for our dinner reservations at six.”

Ah, he even sprung for reservations, what a smart man. “Sounds good, let’s explore.” Y/N got up from the bed, grabbing her purse before Andy followed her out, walking out of their room towards the lobby.

Downtown was only about a five-minute walk from the inn, an enjoyable stroll filled with laughter from a group of teens on the sidewalk, birds chirping in the trees, and the smell of fresh muffins wafting from the window of a bakery on the street. “Well, where should we look first?” He asked, turning to look at y/n for guidance on where she’d like to go.

They had spent about two full hours downtown, walking in and out of all the little shops, picking up a blueberry donut to share from one of the bakeries, and taking photos of each other along the Rockport streets. Most of the photos Andy took of y/n were very Instagram appropriate photos, staring down the camera and moving from angle to angle. On a few photos though, Andy would say something to make her laugh, snapping away at her genuine reaction.

Before long they were walking back into the room to get ready for their dinner reservations. Andy was pulling out all the stops, dressing up in one of his nicest black suits, a matching black tie situated atop a crisp white button down. He spritzed on some of his favorite Versace Eros cologne, adjusting the laces of his dress shoes before walking out into the living room. Andy had ordered a dozen red roses to be delivered to the suite, arriving shortly after he had finished getting ready, sitting on the couch with the flowers and waiting for y/n to walk out. God, he hoped this wasn’t too cheesy.

After about five minutes of waiting anxiously, the door to y/n’s room opened, noticing her delicate silver peep toe heels first. His eyes roamed up her toned and tanned legs, settling on her baby blue dress, off the shoulder with slightly puffy sleeves, a tie in the front revealing just a bit of cleavage. The ruffles on the hem swayed as she moved, her eyes taking in the sight of him as well with the flowers.

Suddenly Andy stood up, holding out the flowers to her. “You look incredible, Lolita.” There went the pet name again, though it was always so fitting for her. “Shall we go?” Y/N silently thanked him for the flowers, taking a whiff of their sweet aroma before setting them down on the counter near the door. She followed Andy to his car, waving him off when he tried to open her door for her. Her expression stayed on Andy the entire drive, inhaling his intoxicating cologne, licking her lips. Y/N had to admit, he always looked great in a suit.

The restaurant was only a ten-minute drive from the inn, a little classy seafood restaurant along the ocean coast. It was packed with people, a quartet playing Sinatra’s finest hits off in the far-right corner of the room. Some people were dancing, some were sitting along the bar against the left wall, while most were diners enjoying their meals at their table.

Y/N and Andy were led to a table near the back wall facing the ocean view. Andy started off by ordering a bottle of chardonnay for the table, taking in the sight of y/n lit up by the candlelight provided.

“This is beautiful, Andy.” She exclaimed, her eyes scanning the room and all the happy couples around them. Andy smiled before opening his menu, mulling over what to order. “I told you, I’m great at pleading my case. And as you know, I almost always win.” Y/N rolled her eyes, opening her own menu. “Key word, almost.”

After deciding on what to eat, Andy getting the seafood gnocchi and y/n ordering the lobster bisque, Andy poured them each a glass of wine, holding his up towards hers. “Cheers to an unforgettable night.” He exclaimed, clinking their glasses together before they each took a sip of their respective glasses.

As they wait for their food, Andy and y/n sit and talk more about their likes and dislikes, what they want in the future, and the day they had downtown. Their food arrives during the conversation and they continue to talk while they indulge in their meals, all the food just as incredible as the atmosphere.

About thirty minutes later Andy and y/n take in their last bites of food, sitting back and enjoying the liveliness around them. As they waited for their check to arrive, the sound of Sinatra’s hit ‘It Had to Be You’ started drifting from the quartet. Andy smiles, holding out his hand towards y/n as he stares down at her. “Dance with me?” He asks, taking in her surprised expression before she scoots herself out of her seat, grabbing his hand as he led her over to where the other couples were dancing. Andy places his hands on the small of her back, y/n wrapping her own around his neck as they sway to the tune.

“This is definitely not as good as dancing together at the club.” She joked, making Andy laugh. “Well, technically I wouldn’t call that dancing. More like...gyrating, or maybe dry humping? Definitely not the same.” Her smile brightened; his eyes locked on her as they moved. It was as if they were the only people there, like the whole world stopped to see them dance.

“For nobody else gave me a thrill. With all your faults, I love you still. It had to be you...Wonderful you...It had to be you…” The quartet crooned, the song ending and a few of the couples clapping in response. Andy’s eyes bore into y/n’s, licking his lips before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her lips, holding it for a moment before y/n pulled away, clearing her throat and letting go of his neck.

“M’sure the bill is on the table.” She stated, walking back towards their chairs. Andy let out a huff of disappointment, following her over to the table and paying for their meal before they walked in silence back to their car.

The car ride felt riddled with tension, the tension continuing to build as they got back to the room. “We need to talk, y/n.” He admitted as the door of their suite shut behind them, crossing his arms against his broad chest. Y/N leaned her weight against the wall between their bedrooms, tilting her head up to look at him.

“Andy…” She started, becoming silent again and chewing on her bottom lip. Andy’s stance becomes more tense, taking a step closer to her. “I want you, y/n. And not because of how mind-blowingly attractive you are. You are intelligent, thoughtful, and selfless. You’re not stuck up or fussy about material items. You make me feel like I’m in my twenties again, you make me feel like I’ve never felt with another woman.”

He takes another step closer to her, hovering above her due to his height. She puts her hands on his chest to stop him from moving, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“I’m terrified of this, Andy. How do I know you won’t turn out just like my piece of shit father, huh?” She leans her body weight against the wall, peering up at him.

“Look, I know how you feel, alright?” He moves away from her again, his back turned towards her as his hand ruffles through his hair. “I know firsthand, my father...he’s also in prison. He went to prison when I was young for raping and murdering a 19-year old woman. I vowed to myself to never ever treat a woman without kindness and respect. Though my marriage with Laurie wasn’t perfect, I’m sure she’d say that I was nothing like my father, and nothing like yours for that matter.”

He turns back to look at her, arms outstretched. “I promise I will never hurt you; you can trust me. I’m all in, y/n. And I meant everything I said.”

She processes his story of his father, realizing they had a lot more in common than she once thought. Her heart is beating so fast she thought it might splatter in her chest, closing the distance between the two quickly. Her hand came up to grip his jaw, leaning up and kissing him lovingly. They continue to kiss, y/n parting her lips to allow Andy’s tongue to slip inside, exploring her mouth and causing her to moan. After a moment they both pull away breathless, her hands playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Okay...I’m all in too, with you.” Her words are all Andy had been wanting to hear, gripping her waist and kissing her lustfully this time, pushing them backwards until they both hit the wall again with a groan. His lips trailed a line of kisses down her neck and along her collarbone, shrugging off his suit jacket and making quick work at the buttons on his shirt, practically ripping the buttons off completely.

Y/N is tilting her head back against the wall, helping to push off his now open shirt to expose his God-like torso. This was her first time seeing his chest, running her cool fingers against his abs as he kissed back up her neck and into her mouth.

He plays with the fabric on sleeves of her dress, pushing them down so that she can fully shimmy out of the pale blue fabric. Her breasts are on full display, no bra to pull down, and Andy growled at the sight of them. They were just as perky as they had been while peeking through her outfits.

He nudged her body in the direction of his bed, hands making quick work of his belt and pulling down his trousers, kicking them into a pile as he walked into the bedroom after her in only his Calvin Klein briefs. Andy moved forward to kiss her again, knocking them both over onto the bed, a breathy laugh escaping her throat. 

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful, my little Lolia.” He purred, his hands coming up between them to knead over her delectable breasts. Y/N cried out from the touch, grinding her hips up into Andy’s to evoke a similar noise from him. “Andy, need you…” She whined, her back arching off the bed, her panties rolling against his clearly clothed hard cock.

He slipped his hands lower, teasing his fingertips along her folds, already slick with her desire. “Need what, Lolita? Need you to tell me exactly what you want.” Her hands rub his cock through the thin fabric, a whine of impatience leaving her lips. 

“Need you inside me, Andy. Please, fuck my pussy.” Her words ignite an animalistic groan from his lips, pulling off her and scooting her up further onto the bed until her head touched the pillows. He quickly tugged off his boxers, stepping out of them before shimmying her out of her panties, tossing them aside.

His eyes grew dark as he took in her naked form in front of him, stroking his cock. She really was the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on, and she was all his. Andy moved onto the bed, hovering over y/n with his cock dragging against her glistening folds. He was bigger than the guys she’d been with before, and the thought alone excited and terrified her. Her fingers land on the skin of his shoulder blades, pressing in lightly as she locks eyes with him.

“Andy, please.” She begs again. Andy keeps his eyes on hers as he pushes in slowly, giving her time to adjust as he moves inch by inch into her cunt. Her nails dig a bit deeper into his skin, mewling as he continues to press into her until he finally bottoms out, holding himself in place. 

“God, my little Lolita, you’re so fucking tight...you’re milking my cock and I haven’t even moved yet. Do you want me to move?” He leant down and pressed a passionate kiss to her lips, waiting for her mumbled ‘mhm’ against him before he rolled his hips into hers.

The pace started slowly, building up speed with every little noise y/n’s mouth made, coming undone underneath him with each thrust. They continued to share soft kisses, moaning into each other’s mouths, y/n’s hands locking around his neck.

“Andy.” She breathed, her walls tightening and releasing around him. “Wanna cum for you.”

Andy quickened his pace, kissing along her pulse point on her neck. “Cum for me, Lolita. Want to feel you cum on my cock.” It doesn’t take her long after his sentence before she’s tightening her walls again, crying out as her orgasm rips through her. Her eyesight is full of stars, and it takes a second for her to regain her vision, focusing on Andy’s face once she does.

“M’gonna cum in this pretty cunt, fill you up to the brim.” He states, thrusting a few more times before coating her walls with his release. He stills inside of her for a moment before pulling out slowly and plopping down with his back on the bed next to her.

They both lie in silence, staring up at the ceiling, panting. The sex was incredible, better than they both could’ve imagined. Andy’s arm wraps loosely around y/n’s shoulder, tugging her into his chest and pressing a loving kiss to her forehead.

“You’re mine now, it’s official.” He looked down at her with a lazy smile, watching as her fingers began to trail up and down his chest. “Guess you could say I won yet another case.”

“Shut up, Andy.”

Tagging those who may be interested. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list: @my-divine-death @blackwiddows @sokovianheadtilt @fuckandfluff @rattlemyb0nes @rootcrop @turtoix @sylvielaufeydottirr @jeremyrennermakesmesmile @ccmarvelxx @rebelemilu @tenaciousperfectionunknown @agentofbarnes @serendipityrogers

[aliensunflower-fics]

Marinette Changes Schools: A funny little Lila salt prompt

So, there are a lot of ‘Marinette changes schools’ au’s and I love a whole bunch of them don't get me wrong. BUT the one thing I haven’t seen yet is Marinette changing schools not because of Lila or salt but simply because her parents are moving and they want her to attend a school close to home. So without further ado let me sell you on my little idea: 

Lila has been plotting weeks worth of plans and lies, she’s thought up some sob stories about being stalked, about near death experiences, about celebrities that are like her family. She has plans for Marinette all the ways she could make the girl look bad and all the ways she could force Adrien to see her. That all goes out the window one day when she gets to school and it's a sob fest. There is a clear air of dread and dismay, the blue skies she saw on the way to school replaced with heavy storm clouds. And when she gets to class it's worse. Marinette and Alya are hugging and crying, Adrien looks like he's been shot, Nino and Kim are demanding to know ‘why’ even Chloe looks upset, her blue eyes a little glassy. Lila quickly learns why, Marinette’s parents' business is doing GREAT so great in fact that they have decided to open a second location! The twist? They also decided to move INTO the new location and with it being on the other side of Paris and her parents fears for their daughters safety that means Marinette is moving to a new school!

Now Lila doesn’t even have to school her face into a practiced expression of shock. She genuinely is shocked here she’d been planning months in advance picturing the ways she would destroy her rivals life and steal her friends! And now just like that Marinette is MOVING? Of course Lila quickly decides this is a good thing! After all if Marinette is out of the picture ruling the school will be that much easier. Sure Chloe might be queen bee but with Marinette gone people will be looking to replace her! In walks Lila Rossi, a gorgeous upstart model with a heart of gold and connections coming out of her bangs! She’d rule the school and Adrien would fall for her, then Marinette would probably come crawling back desperate for her old friends only to learn she’d snatched them all up! It was brilliant! And with Marinette gone she could probably do it in record time! So Lila covers up her smirk and says she’s devastated to hear that the twin tailed girl would be leaving and begins plotting.

In the month that follows Lila leaves Marinette alone letting her have her friends for what would be for the last time. After all if everyone still loved the designer when she left they’d be all the more eager to replace her with a new and better version. Of course just because Lila is playing nice doesn’t mean she enjoys it. Alya is practically glued to the girl and ignores Lila even when she’s not trying to sabotage Marinette. Adrien is acting like his life is ending and all anyone will talk about is Marinette. When she checks social media it's all just pictures of ‘old-great times with Marinette’ or new photos and videos of helping the girl pack up and move into her new room, which Lila seethes about for a week when she sees the photos of the spacious luxurious room with a private bath. Apparently the Dupain-Cheng’s new bakery was in a pretty ritzy rich neighborhood. During school Marinette is mobbed by a constant stream of people begging her to stay and when they accept that not happening they all at least beg her to ‘come back and visit’ Marinette promises and Lila has to hide her snort. Fat chance of that actually happening. 

Finally the last day arrives and Lila has to hold back the urge to gag as everyone fills the nearby park giving Marinette gifts and heartfelt goodbyes. Adrien is the last one to offer his gift and Lila seethes as Marinette gingerly opens the box with a gasp and pulls out two brand new pink hair ribbons, and Adrien goes on to say that they’re made of imported silk! SILK, as if the little baker brat deserved silk! The whole exchange is cliche and romantic as Marinette removes her current hair ribbons to tie in the new ones and Adrien ties the old ones around his wrist like some idiot who doesn’t realize what a love struck longing look he's giving his ‘good friend’. But Lila just keeps reminding herself its just a bit longer and sure enough not long after the hideously gooey exchange between Adrien and Marinette is over the designer is leaving with more tears and farewells. FINALLY Lila thinks she can get back to what matters! Ruling her empire.

As it turns out ruling her empire is not what she thinks. For the first month after Marinette leaves all anyone will talk about is the photos she’s posted online. The first week its ALL about HER new school is a private well known academy with uniforms, and isn't Marinette cute in it? And look at her in her custom black kitty thigh highs? Lila wants to scream, but not as much as when she catches Adrien drooling over the photo of said thigh highs and twirling the old nasty hair ribbons around his wrist. The second week its all about the video tour of her new home and school that Marinette sent Alya. Lila glares the whole time as Alya puts the video on the projector at lunch so everyone can see the big new gorgeous bakery and the beautiful house on the second floor and her stupid big bedroom that should belong to someone like herself and not some bratty bakers daughter! By the third week Lila has had enough and fakes some nasty texts from Marinette hoping to speed up the process of helping her classmates move on to HERSELF. It backfires spectacularly with Alya going on the warpath to learn who would dare frame Marinette now that she’s gone. Lila is starting to realize that somehow Marinette has reached a higher level of popularity now that she’s gone. But she reminds herself it won't last forever that in ‘just a little bit longer’ everyone will forget the baker. Right?

A little bit longer. Never happens. Lila asks the girls to hang out that weekend with plans of winning them over with some juicy celeb story? Alya says they all already made plans to hope aboard the train to spend the whole weekend at Marinette’s new place! Lila tries to corner Adrien into a date after a photo shoot. He disappears and all she hears from the workers on set is that he's been looking up some new bakery on the other side of town. [Marinette is suddenly being visited by Chat Noir every other night but she figures she must have moved closer to where his civilian self lives if hes dropping by so much.] She tries to throw a party for the class? They can't. Marinette will be coming out to the park today! With her new school friends!

AH HA! Lila see’s opportunity and decides to tag along. After all if Marinette has new friends Lila can twist it! She’ll whisper about her replacing them all! Make them hate Marinette’s new friends! Fill them with jealousy till they hate Marinette! It's BRILLIANT! And, it fails in less than two minutes, with Alya learning about Aurore being a ballet dancer and the two girls bonding over their mutual love of DANCE?? How the heck was Lila supposed to know Alya had been a champion ballet dancer in her younger years! Then Nino is bonding with some kid named Allen or whatever about classical vs modern music and how to blend the two! And some kid named Claude is joking with Kim, Max, and Alix! And this is definitely not how things were supposed to go!

The worst part is Adrien, who is passive aggressively fighting for Marinette against Kagami AND Felix who are both all too eager to show how ‘close’ they’ve gotten to the baker's daughter while Adrien’s been across the city. Kagami is all to happy to show off that she ALSO bought Marinette some new silk hair ribbons [in a red shade that happens to match her fencing uniform] while Felix eagerly wisks Marinette away the moment Kagami and Adrien are distracted the two fencers find him openly flirting with an oblivious Marinette her hair down because ‘oh felix was nice enough to help me get some leaves out of my hair and said i should leave it like this!’ [while both Kagami and Adrien agree she looks beyond cute they know this means war.] Needless to say Lila didn’t realize that Marinette was that damn popular with men and woman.

The week after the meet up Lila is worn so thin she’s ready to snap. Not only did the class not get jealous but they actually became FRIENDS with all of Marinette’s new buddies and were planning many more meet ups including a paintball war over the baker girl that saturday. Adrien had taken to openly mumbling to himself about changing schools and how he ‘cant believe’ his own flesh and blood would so openly flirt with HIS very good friend! And what was with Kagami showing off how easily she can pick up and carry Marinette? And why did she invite Marinette to watch their next tournament! He needed to train, what if he lost?? In front of Marinette?! And then she thought he was too weak to keep her safe like all good friends are supposed to do! Clearly Kagami was trying to replace him as Marinette’s very good friend! Poor Nino who was sitting next to the boy had actually volunteered to switch with Lila but she came up with a lie to avoid it, she’d had enough of hearing about Marinette from Alya and Juleka and the rest of the girls, she didn’t also need to hear it from Adrien! 

It all comes to a head that Saturday during the paintball tournament when Lila now at her wits end her plans out the window her schemes barely thought out hopes to find something ANYTHING to ruin Marinette’s day and reputation and everything. But Lila just so happens to get completely pelted with paintballs everytime she so much as moves and then later gets ignored when trying to wow Marinette’s new friends, and then gets called out by Felix and Kagami snaps and finally she snaps and SCREAMS and runs off and not even a dark little butterfly comes to help her ruin the perfect day. As it turns out Hawkmoth was a little preoccupied with trying to save his business after all the computers and data involved in his precise scheduling were mysteriously corrupted suddenly freeing up his son's time and schedule so he could spend more with HIS very good friend and no one else's. Kagami and Felix apparently had the same idea as when he gets to her new house their already their doing their best to get on her parents good side.

Basically just give me some comedic, fluffy, Lila salty, Marinette changes school fics. Because I love them ok.

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[talkfastromance4]

Flowers 4+1// ashton irwin oneshot

A/N: this is my first ever 4+1 fic so I’m kind of nervous, thank you Angie @littledrummerangie for the idea! This is also SUPER indulgent as being a birthday fic for me and a birthday fic with Ashton😅 since mine is the day before his. This has everything I love in it, flowers, hot tubs, a cabin, christmas, love… This is 4 times Ashton gives you flowers and 1 time you give him flowers

Word count: 6k

Masterlist

Enjoy!💕

*****

One

The first time they met was when Andy and Sarah invited Ashton to help her move into her new place. The movers basically set all the boxes and furniture into her house and then left her to her own devices. She called Andy and Sarah for help and if they had any reinforcements it would be greatly appreciated. 

She was trying to find wine glasses when there was a knock at the door. When she opened it she had to look up at her guest. His copper brown hair fell in waves and necklaces hung perfectly down his neck, his hazel eyes were bright and friendly.

First, she noticed how good looking he is and the second thing she noticed was the mason jar filled with orange and peach flowers. 

“Uh, hi can I help you?” she asks suddenly feeling very self-conscious of her ratty t-shirt and paint splotched shorts. 

“I’m Ashton and I’m your honorary mover,” he smiles. “Andy called me. You must be Y/N.”

“Must be. I mean--yes, I am! And oh, right, wow. Sorry, please come in and thank you for helping,” she says, moving aside to let him in.

“Yeah, of course. These are for you,” he holds out the mason jar. “A housewarming gift.”

“Thank you so much,” she smiles, taking the flowers with both hands. Their fingers brush. “I’ve never gotten flowers before.”

“Really?” his eyes bore into hers and she’s momentarily frazzled. 

“Apart from my mom or grandpa but...um, I’ll put these in the kitchen. Andy’s in the bedroom putting the bed together if you’d like to help in there.”

She escapes into the kitchen where Sarah is wiping down the fridge. 

“Who was at the door? What pretty flowers!” 

“Your friend Ashton and he gave me these,” you touch one of the roses before burying your nose in the plumage. The petals tickle your nose and the scent is wonderful. 

“He’s sweet like that,” Sarah smiles. “Did you find the glasses?”

“No,” Y/N huffs, setting the flowers on the counter by the sink. “They’re probably in the bathroom or something.”

“We’ll find them.”

The four of them continue working on unpacking and it isn’t until about 10 o’clock when Andy and Ashton enter the living room.

“The bed, vanity, and dressers are all assembled,” Andy announces wiping at his brow. 

“We’re the poor man's Avengers,” Ashton laughs. “We put the bed in the middle of the wall and the vanity next to the window. Best lighting to do make-up.”

“That’s...perfect actually, thank you guys,” Y/N smiles, balling up the newspaper and shoving it in a large garbage bag. She just finished placing her books on the shelves, she’ll sort them later in the week. 

“We were thinking of getting pizza,” Andy says.

“Pizza sounds great! Here, I’ll give you some money--”

“No, my treat,” Ashton says, “you’ve been working hard.”

After eating pizza they all went back to unpacking and Ashton made comments about the art pieces she has. He asks where she wants each one hung up. 

“You don’t have to do that, I’ll put them up later,” she waves her hand at him. 

“It’s my job as honorary mover,” he grins. 

Midnight came upon them sooner than she would like. Andy and Sarah headed out because of Pebbles, she’s been cooped up all day so it was just Ashton and Y/N. He asked questions while unpacking to get to know her better and he was very open to her questions. 

He stayed until 3 in the morning but he made sure to get her number before he left. She took a photo of the flowers on the counter before going to bed.

Two

She changed her outfit about a dozen times. Her bed was covered in discarded clothes and she still had to put on her makeup. The clock on her wall ticked reminding her that Ashton would be here in a little less than an hour. 

It’s been six months since he helped her move in and in that time, they became close. He showed her all of the best coffee shops and bookstores he knew of. He introduced her to the rest of his band and they accepted her kindly. 

She accompanied them on outings, parties, and Ashton always made sure to stick close with her. He knew she was shy around new people so he always made sure to include her in conversation. 

One night when he was walking her back to her door after going to dinner with the band and their significant others, he was acting strange. He was unusually quiet and she’d find him staring at her across the table. 

“So, I’ll see you Monday, right?” she asked, shuffling through her purse for her house key. 

“How about Saturday?” 

“This Saturday? I thought we were going to try that new restaurant Monday with Andy and Sarah?”

“I mean, we can do that, too but I was thinking...Saturday could just be us. You and me.”

The air changed between them and she stopped looking for her keys. She turned to face him but she couldn’t quite read his expression. 

“Oh, okay. Did you want to watch that new movie on Netflix?”

“Y/N, I’m trying to ask you on a date here,” he laughed nervously rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Ask me on a...you are? Oh God, and I’m ruining it. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize--”

“You could never ruin anything,” he smiled. “But, would you like to go on a date with me this Saturday?” his hazel eyes were hopeful and Y/N couldn’t believe this was actually happening. 

“I’d love to Ash,” she smiled. 

And now here she is, half naked and indecisive on what to wear. She shouldn’t be freaking out like this, it’s Ashton. But it’s also *Ashton. Ashton who can always make her laugh and he makes her feel safe and they always have fun together. But it’s also Ashton who gives her butterflies whenever he touches her lower back and her heart race when he gives her a hug. 

Her phone buzzes and it’s Ashton letting her know he’ll be there in forty-five minutes. She lets out a loud groan and goes back to her closet, maybe a new article of clothing she’s never seen will just reappear. 

To her astonishment, there was a maroon dress that she wore to a wedding. 

“Might as well,” she sighs and puts it on. It really doesn’t look half bad as she looks at herself in the mirror. 

She rushes to put on her makeup and by the time she spritzes on her perfume, the doorbell rings. She checks that she has everything in her clutch and moves to the door. 

It’s like a deja vu moment from six months ago because he’s handsome as ever and holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand. His necklaces are perched perfectly in the V of his white button up shirt and it contrasts nicely with his skin. These flowers are full of pink and white flowers with a hint of peach thrown in there. The ivory paper crinkles when his fingers squeeze it, his eyes widen at the sight of her. 

“Wow, you look...wow.”

“You’re pretty wow yourself,” she giggles then glances at the flowers. “Are those for me?”

“Um, yes,” he holds his hand out, the flowers bumping your chest. “Shit, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she laughs, taking them from him and buries her face in the center of it. “They smell wonderful, thank you so much. I’ll just put them in water and then we can go.”

He follows her into the house, she doesn’t see him glance down at her ass in the dress. He’s rubbing his neck again when she looks at him getting a vase from the counter. She fills it with water and arranges the flowers. 

“So, where are we going?”

**

They’re sitting outside the restaurant, it’s a warm breezy summer night. The rustic atmosphere feels comfortable but when she flicks her gaze at Ashton over the drink menu, he’s drinking his glass of water heartily. His other hand is tapping against the table, it’s a thing he does when he’s nervous. 

“Thirsty, huh?” She tries to ease his unusual activity and he shakes his head.

“Yeah, throat’s a little dry,” he clears his throat just as the waitress comes by. 

She takes their drink order and Ashton requests a pitcher of water if it’s available. Their roles are reversed, she’s the one doing most of the talking and he’s the one who’s listening. She can tell he’s still being reserved so she takes out her phone and points it at him.

“Smiiile!” She sings turning on portrait mode. 

“Why?” He laughs nervously but it makes him smile so she snaps the photo. 

“Because, the lighting is perfect and you look cute,” she flirts with a smile.

Ashton laughs again but it’s his real laugh, the laugh that always gets her laughing. She snaps as many photos as she can and it seems to have done the job of making him act like himself. Even though they’ve hung out nearly everyday, the evening still had the air of a first date. 

They even tried each other’s food. She stabbed her chicken and noodle with her fork, blew on it, and fed it to him across the table. 

“Wow, that is really good,” he hums in approval. He swirls his own noodles on his fork and feeds her slowly. 

“That sauce is amazing,” she moans, loving the lemon flavor. 

They share a dessert of chocolate mousse and split the strawberry. After dinner, he took her to the art museum. They're open later in the summertime. There were only a few people meandering in the open space and standing stagnant in front of pieces. 

“This is why I wanted to bring you here,” he says, taking her hand easily in his own. 

Her butterflies returned and he lead her all the way to the back. It was a Claude Monet exhibit and she tried to look at the paintings but Ashton was on a mission to a certain piece. He stops in front of it and she stares in amazement at the painting. It’s of Claude Monet on his boat. She gasps, staring at it and Ashton is staring at her. 

It’s the painting she tried to replicate when she was younger in her art class. It’s the painting that introduced her to Monet because the style was similar and it always stuck with her. She told him she wanted to find the painting when they first met and stayed up until 3 in the morning.

“You remembered this?” she asks, stepping closer to it. She makes sure their hands are still locked together, his thumb is rubbing her skin in soothing circles. 

“Your eyes always light up when you talk about things that matter to you. They’re always so bright when you talk about him...and when I give you flowers.”

“Ashton this is…” she shakes her head at a loss for words. She gazes upon the painting, loving the visibility of the palette strokes and the blending of the colors. Tears formed in her eyes. “This is the best thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it,” she wipes the stray tear that slipped from her eye.

“Hey,” he says softly. His fingers graze her cheek tilting her face towards him. 

His thumb rubs at the leftover tear, his own face inching closer to hers. She closes her eyes, exhaling when his lips brush against hers. He squeezes her hand, his lips controlled and gentle yet also hesitant. As if he’s testing the waters. 

They unabashedly makeout in front of the paintings and in her mind she’s thinking of what they look like to an outsider. Still life man and woman lost in each other.

Three

The holidays arrived faster than she wanted them to. She still had a ton of shopping to do for her family but at least her flight is scheduled. Ashton is accompanying her on the trip and she’s so excited for him to meet her family. 

“Make sure you aren’t doing anything the weekend before the holiday,” he tells her unravelling lights from her box of Christmas decorations. 

“How come?” she asks searching through the tv for the claymation movies she loves to watch.

“That’s when I’m going to give you my present.”

“You need a whole weekend to do that?” she laughs. 

“I won’t say anything more than that,” he smirks at her. 

“I can help with that--”

“I got it sorted,” he waves her off, “you enjoy your movies.”

“Have I told you you’re the most amazing boyfriend?” she wraps her arms around his waist. Ashton shifts the lights into one hand so he can hold her against him with his free hand. 

“You’ve never told me that,” he grins and kisses her. 

“I’m sure I have,” she mumbles between kisses. Her hands slip under his shirt, thumbs grazing over his warm skin causing Ashton to grunt at the contact.

His hand rubs up her back and into her hair, he breaks the kiss with a shaky breath. “Let me finish putting these lights up and we can get back to this, baby.”

“We could get to this faster if you let me help,” she stresses, pinching his skin. “You never let me do anything.”

“You do plenty, baby,” he smiles, kissing her forehead. 

She sighs and retreats to the couch curling up to watch the movie and Ashton wrap and weave the lights around her tree. Two and a half movies later he was finally finished and turned the lights on. The white light reflected on her wooden floor and she beamed at his job well done.

“It’s perfect! Thank you!” she throws her arms around his neck in a big hug. 

“My pleasure,” he chuckles and kisses her temple. She starts to give small kisses to his neck, featherlight and ticklish on his skin. “Get outta here, you know I’m ticklish.”

“What are you gonna do about it?” she teases continuing her small attack of affection. 

Ashton shifts her in his arms making his way to her couch and drops onto the cushions. She situated herself so she’s straddling his waist. His hands smooth over the curve of her ass while his lips suction kisses along her jaw and to her neck. She shivers at the contact, tugging at his curls when he sucks a mark.

“This is what I’m gonna do about it,” he says gruffly and rocks her against his hips. 

“Okay,” she sighs, enjoying his mouth on her neck and the bulge in his pants rubbing against her core with each rock he makes her do. She moans when his hands move to her thighs and gives her a squeeze. 

Needing more of him, she drags his head away from her neck so she can feel his lips on her own again. She rolls her hips against his without his help and his hands slip under her shirt, moaning when he feels she’s not wearing a bra. 

“Damn, baby,” he growls cupping her breasts together. He tweaks her nipples and she squeaks in his mouth. “You like that?”

“Feels good,” she nods nipping at his lip. His phone rings and buzzes in his pocket, the vibration adds another element to her arousal.

“Leave it, they can leave a message,” he pants, sucking another kiss from her. 

His phone stops ringing only for hers to start on the coffee table behind them. She breaks the kiss and turns around trying to see the caller ID.

“Leave it,” he repeats, squeezing her breasts again.

“It could be an emergency,” she reaches for her phone to see it’s Sarah calling. “Hello?” She picks it up staring at Ashton and he smirks, lifting her shirt up. He takes her nipple between his lips and she scowls at him. “Oh, that was tonight? Um, yeah he’s with me. We’ll be right over. Okay, yeah…” she sighs when his teeth tug on her nipple. “See you soon.”

She tosses the phone to the couch and tosses her head back relishing in his mouth on her sensitive bud for a moment longer. Their physical relationship is progressing slowly, they’ve almost had sex three times (now four if Sarah hadn’t called) but she likes the pace they’re going at. 

“We need to go to Andy and Sarah’s,” she strokes his cheek curling his hair around his ear.

“Why? I’d rather stay here,” he shifts his mouth to her other breast, his tongue rolling over her nipple salaciously. 

“Mm, me too but it’s their Christmas party tonight. And we’re late by two hours,” she snickers, fingers still tangled in his hair. She has goosebumps from what his mouth is doing to her.

“I’m sick, can’t go.”

“Ashton!” she laughs pushing his head away from her chest. “We won’t see them until after the holiday. Come on, let’s go.”

She crawls off him, turns her tv off and changes her top, and puts on a bra. When she comes back Ashton is still sitting on the couch. She leans over the back of it next to his head. 

“Do I have to drag you off this couch?” she murmurs in his ear.

“I need a few moments,” he huffs, shifting his legs. 

“Oh,” she giggles, seeing exactly why because he still has a prominent bulge in his pants. “I’m sorry. Can I help?” she kisses down his cheek to the corner of his mouth. 

“You helped make this problem,” he laughs, turning his head to kiss her lips. 

**

The Christmas party was a hit and it’s the weekend before Christmas. Y/N was awakened by Ashton petting her hair and kissing her cheek, he used the spare key she gave him for emergencies.

“What a way to wake up,” she smiles, pulling him on top of her. His strong arms are caged around her head and his body weight makes her feel protected. 

“Your coffee is all ready, now you just have to pack and we’ll be on our way.”

“No breakfast in bed?” She traces his eyebrows. 

“I can make you breakfast in bed tomorrow*,” he nuzzles his nose against hers. “There’s a present by your coffee mug if that will help you get  your cute ass outta bed.”

Then his weight is off her and she’s left scrambling out of bed to follow him into the kitchen where her coffee is already in her to-go mug with a card and a bouquet of red roses and cranberries inside to make it more of a holiday special. He’s standing next to the small gifts with a grin on his face. 

“I love these, they’re so pretty,” she gushes, lifting the bouquet to her nose. She loves the sweet smell of a rose. 

“You’re so pretty when I give you flowers,” he comments, lifting up the red envelope. 

She holds the flowers against her chest and unfolds the envelope. Inside is a white card with writing formed in the shape of a Christmas tree, a star placed on top. The words read:

“TO A 

KIND

STRONG

BRILLIANT

SO BEAUTIFUL

AND TRULY AMAZING

GIRLFRIEND”

Ashton wrote his own inscription inside in his nice loopy script:

‘The past year with you has been one of the best of my life. Our friendship was the perfect foundation for a relationship and I can’t imagine what my world would be like now if you weren’t in it. So this weekend, it will just be me and you in our own little cabin, no interruptions. xx Ash’

“A cabin?”

**

After the 2 hour and 40 minute flight to Seattle, she and Ashton arrived at the cabin where a dusting of snow covered the ground and a wreath was on the door. Y/N was floored at how beautiful it was and Ashton took her hand leading her up the wooden steps. He took a key out and unlocked the door. 

It smelled like cinnamon and Ashton with cozy couches and armchairs, a large rug in front of a stone fireplace and a massive kitchen with a grill attached to a chimney. A Christmas tree was set up with presents scattered underneath and there was a large bouquet of roses on the kitchen table. 

“Ash…” she begins and then can’t find more words. 

“There’s more, c’mon,” he smiles, leading her up the winding staircase and into a loft area where a futon was and empty bookshelves. There were a few guitars on stands placed in the corner and some incense sticks. “What do you think?” He leans against the railing and Y/N ventures into the room.

“I think it’s wonderful, but there aren’t any books. Is this someone’s cabin and you’re renting it? I can chip in--”

“No, no. It is someone’s cabin...mine.”

She whips around from looking out the half circle window overlooking the backyard where she saw another grill and some chairs. 

“This place is yours?”

“Yep. I come here when I need to get away and just let my creative ideas flow. You can fill the bookshelves if you’d like.”

“Ash this is…” she shakes her head then launches herself into his arms for a hug. “This is incredible. And we’re here the whole weekend? Just us?”

“Just us, angel,” he nods, rubbing at her back. “There’s also a hot tub.”

His voice changed at the mention of the hot tub because she didn’t bring a suit. 

***

Ashton’s plan for Friday evening was to unpack and go into town for a nice meal. After dinner, they changed into their sleep clothes and snuggled on the couch with hot chocolate watching the first Home Alone movie because they’re her favorite movies. Her mind was on that hot tub and her stomach twisted with excited nerves at the thought of using it. She wanted to use it now but her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth each time she tried to bring it up. 

She was also thinking of how this would be their first time sleeping together. Ashton never stayed the night because he didn’t want to give her the wrong impression. She found it sweet but it also increased her infatuation for him even more.

When she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore, he had her lean on him while they walked to the bedroom. The bed was huge with a large comforter and even fluffier looking pillows. It looked heavenly and she slipped inside willingly. She rolled over and became awake again at the look on Ashton’s face. 

She tossed over the blanket on his side of the bed and patted the space below the pillow inviting him in. He crawled in carefully and shut the lights off and they were in darkness. Ashton remained sitting against the headboard and Y/N reached out for him in the dark. His forearm was warm and soft.

“Are you going to sleep like that the whole night?” she whispers, giving his arm a squeeze.

“No,” he whispers back, sliding further down the bed. Her hand now rested on his chest, she could feel his heart beating. He turns on his side clutching her hand in his. “Is it weird I’m nervous? I feel like I’m fifteen.”

“You first slept with a girl at fifteen?” she laughs.

“No, I meant--being around girls at that age made me nervous,” he chuckles. 

“I’m nervous, too. But in a good way. Just warning you, I’m a kicker so I apologize in advance.”

“Why are we still whispering, we’re the only ones here,” he says, raising his voice to a normal level. That only makes her giggle more. 

“I don’t know, it fits the mood with you regressing back to fifteen years old. Our parents could walk in at any moment.” She scoots closer to him, so close that she can feel his breath fan on her face. 

“I hope they don’t,” he murmurs, inching closer in the dark until he finds her lips. It’s a tender kiss, the kind of kiss that took her breath away slowly and made her heart smile. 

She keeps him close with her hand pressed to his cheek. They kiss and talk in hushed tones until she falls asleep and Ashton tickles up her back until sleep finally finds him, too.

Saturday morning did indeed include breakfast in bed. Ashton made pancakes, bacon, coffee and a small bowl of fruit. His itinerary for the day consisted of lounging around the cabin watching holiday movies and then he was going to make her a steak dinner. She insisted on helping him in the kitchen amidst his protests.

“I’m not a good cook but I’m a very good listener. I’m your sous chef.”

“What does ‘sous chef 'even mean?” he asks getting the ingredients out of the fridge. 

“It means ‘under.’”

“Ah, so you’re under me, huh?” he winks. 

“Let me help you cook and I just might be,” she challenged with a smile. Ashton shakes his head, a slight blush rising on his cheeks. 

She followed his instructions with the garlic and mashed potatoes. The dinner was exquisite paired with a delicious white wine. They each had a full glass, their bellies full and face warm from the wine, they were extra giggly and extra flirty. 

“How about that hot tub?” he asks, circling the rim of the wine glass with his finger.

“Did you pack a suit?” She raises her eyebrows. 

 “Nope.”

“I didn’t pack a suit either,” she points to her chest.

“Must have slipped my mind,” he gulps the last swallow of his wine, eyes on her.

“What a shame.”

He sets his glass on the table and takes her hands in his, his eyes looking almost apologetic. “You can wear a t-shirt and shorts. Whatever you’re comfortable with.” He kisses both of her hands. 

“Go get the water ready.”

Twenty minutes later, she walks out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel and Ashton is already in the water. His arms are resting on the sides of the tub, his face even redder from the steam, his eyes hold hers steadily. 

The confidence she had in the bathroom is gone. She wanted to come out here and just get in the water completely naked, but now she’s nervous because what if she was reading the signs wrong? What if he doesn’t really want to have sex with her?

“Um, can you close your eyes while I get in?” she asks.

“‘Course,” he closes his eyes.

She takes a deep breath dropping the towel. The air kisses her skin and she climbs up the steps carefully. The water is hot as she descends into the tub, she bends down so only her head is exposed above the water. Ashton remains still and she inches closer to him until their knees touch.

“Hi there,” he smiles softly.

“Hi.”

“Can I open my eyes now?”

First she nods then realizes he can’t see her so she clears her throat. “Yes.”

He opens his eyes slowly, and they look so pretty in the nighttime sky. He’s looking at her like he’s staring into the full face of the moon, his eyes are full of wonder and adoration and her confidence starts to rise within her. 

The longer he looks at her, the more bold she becomes and she rises up from the water. Her breasts are completely exposed. Ashton licks his lips, his eyes lowering over her wet chest. She doesn’t want to break the spell that’s cast between them so she moves towards him slowly, her hands rest on his shoulders. His arms remain on the sides of the tub. 

“Ashton.”

“Yeah?” 

“Touch me.”

In a flash, his lips are on hers and she’s pressed to his chest. His large hands cover her back, one dips over her ass and she gasps when she feels his hard-on against her thigh. He lifts her effortlessly in the water so she’s straddling him. 

Instinctively, she rubs herself against him groaning at how he rubs against her most sensitive area perfectly. 

“Need you,” she whispers against his mouth.

“Bed,” he gasps.

They exit the tub excitedly, drying off as quickly as they can and she presses herself against him in front of the bed. Their bodies are warm from the tub and he lifts her in his arms again. She loves feeling his muscles wrapped taut around her, he knees onto the bed and stays there. Their arms are wrapped around each other and they remain kissing.

“Do you have something?” she asks, pulling away to catch her breath. She twists his chest hair in her fingers.

“Um, yeah. Shit, hang on,” he sighs, slipping her back onto the bed. She watches him appreciatively as he skimpers to the kitchen pulling his coat off the hook.

“You have a really nice butt,” she compliments when he returns with a condom in hand. 

“Thanks, babe,” he laughs then stops at the foot of the bed staring at her.

“What’s wrong?” she asks suddenly self-conscious. 

“Nothing. You’re perfect.”

She smiles and pulls him on the bed with her again, connecting their lips. He rips open the condom and rolls it on his length. He kneels on the bed again and she’s quick to climb on top, moaning at his shaft rubbing between her folds. 

“Such a pretty moan,” he praises, grasping his cock in his hand. He teases her hole with his tip, nudging it inside a few times. Her lower body meets his in a desperate way, small gasps coming from her each inch he goes in deeper.

“Please, Ash...want all of you,” she knocks her forehead against his.

He takes a deep breath and pushes all the way in, his eyes watching her as her mouth opens and her eyes close at being filled. Their bodies tremble together and they remain still, experiencing being connected for the first time. 

“Good?” he asks, rubbing her nose affectionately.

“Mhm,” she nods and starts to roll her hips against him. “Ohhh…” she lets out a shuddering breath.

He follows her rhythm easily, arms wrapped around her, enjoying the way she rides on top of him. He kneads her ass as she moves, her breath picking up and when he can’t take it anymore, he rises on his knees, her legs fall on either side of him and she gasps. 

He rests her on her back gently, resting his chest against hers so that they’re still touching and rocks his hips in even thrusts. He slips his tongue in her mouth just as her legs wrap around his waist. She moans when he picks up the pace, her lower half meeting his thrusts perfectly. 

“Are you close baby?” he pants feeling her walls start to flutter around him. “So good for me...so perfect...taking me so well.”

“Don’t stop,” she moans tilting her head back. Ashton pounds into her faster, each time he thrusts in she clenches around him a bit more tightly. 

“Fuck…” he hisses when she clenches and stays that way. Her moans are loud in his ear and he always wants to be the one that makes her sound like that. He can’t hold his climax off with her sounding like that and he’s coming with her. “I love you,” he groans loudly in her neck.

When they recollect their breathing she holds his face in her hands.

“What did you say?” she gasps out, eyes wide with lust and surprise.

“I love you,” he breathes, stroking her temple with his thumb. “You don’t have to say it back, but I wanted to tell you that this weekend, too. It’s hard for me to say out loud and with just us--”

She kisses him fiercely. 

“I love you, too.”

Four

When she went to work there was a flower arrangement at her desk with a note from Ashton wishing her a great last day before her vacation for her birthday and his birthday. Hers was the day before his and everyone wanted them to do a joint party when they found that out. 

“No, that’s weird,” she scrunched her nose at the suggestion.

“Yeah, we aren’t siblings. That’s gross,” he agreed.

She took the week off for their birthdays so they could maybe go to the cabin or even rent a house on the beach. She loved her birthday but whenever she made plans, they always fell through or people never showed up.

She texted him that the flowers were beautiful and she couldn’t wait to spend the day with him the next day. When she got home, he was already there wearing an all black outfit with his shirt open. He knows how much she likes seeing his chest. 

“Thank you for the flowers,” she holds up the vase of pink peonies showcasing them. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“Kiss me first,” he puckers his lips at her.

“Oops, sorry,” she giggles and steps on her tiptoes to give him a kiss. They always kiss each other hello. 

“Now, go get changed. We’ve got plans,” he grins.

“What kind of plans?” 

“Look on your bed and see,” he nods to her room down the hall. “I’ll put these in the kitchen for you.”

She shakes her head and does what he says. On her bed is a dress she always ogled when they were at the mall, Ashton clearly bought it for her. He spoils her too much. Next to the dress is a black satin blindfold. She narrows her eyes at the blindfold but quickly changes into the dress.

“What is this for?” she asks, stepping out into the living room with the blindfold in her hands.

“For your eyes. Turn around.”

“Are we roleplaying?” she asks, turning her back to him.

“No,” he laughs, placing the fabric over her eyes. 

He helps her walk to his car and she’s asking him so many questions. He refuses to answer them and laughs at her outlandish predictions of taking her away to a private island. 

His hand is firm in hers when they’re walking to wherever they’re going. She stumbles a little because she doesn’t know the terrain but it feels like pavement under her feet. 

“Are we there yet?” she asks.

“Almost. Okay, there’s a few steps. Up, up, up, up, and last one. Good. Okay, I’m going to take it off you now.”

She feels him move behind her. He unties the blindfold slowly and it drops from her eyes. She blinks slowly to get used to the light and is met with all of their friends and family before her. There’s flower arches behind them and they’re all wearing flower crowns on their heads. 

“SURPRISE!” They shout and she gasps when they start to sing Happy Birthday.

Sarah wheels in a cake with flowers sprawled over it and her name in the middle. Y/N grasps Ashton’s hand in her own, tears forming in her eyes. His other arm wraps around her waist, his chin rests on her shoulder as he sings softly in her ear.

“...dear Y/N...Happy Birthday to you…”

She wipes at her eyes overcome with emotion from the surprise and that Ashton went through all this trouble.

“Make a wish, angel,” he murmurs in her ear.

She closes her eyes, thinks of a wish, and blows out the candles. Everyone cheers and she twists around to give Ashton a big kiss. There’s even more cheers for that and then she’s whisked away for hellos and hugs. Flowers are hanging from the ceiling like vines and she’s never been surrounded by so many flowers. 

“Were you surprised?” Sarah asks as a waiter starts to cut the cake.

“Totally surprised. But my birthday isn’t until tomorrow,” she gives Ashton a side eye.

“You told me you wanted to spend it with me, so your party with everyone else is today,” he smiles. 

“And all these flowers? I love it all so much, thank you.”

“Your eyes will have that shine all night,” he grins, kissing her nose. 

One

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Ashton laughs behind her as they trek through the woods by the cabin.

After her surprise party, on her actual birthday they spent the first half watching movies and the second swimming at the beach. They had a late flight to go to the cabin. Upon arrival, Ashton spent the last hour of her birthday pleasuring her with his mouth and fingers. When the clock struck midnight, she flipped him over with a smirk.

“Happy Birthday to you,” she whispered and slid down his body so she could please him. 

She loves hearing his moans just as much as he loves hearing hers. She loves how one hand is fisted in her hair and the other rests behind his head watching her go down on him. 

“Yes, I know where I’m going. Come on birthday boy.” She ducks under a branch then sees the clearing ahead. 

“I’m twenty-seven, I’m not a boy,” he grunts.

“Sorry, old man,” she teases and he smacks her ass playfully. 

When they come into the clearing, there’s a red and white checkered blanket in the grass with a large basket in the center. Wildflowers surround it in purples, yellows, oranges and a few reds. It’s a magical place. 

“Did you do all this?” he asks seeing the set up. 

“I did. Come on, there’s more.”

They kick off their shoes and sit on the blanket. She opens the basket taking out his favorite foods and a wrapped gift. 

“I told you, you don’t have to get me anything,” he sighs while taking the gift. “You’re more than enough.”

“I know, but it’s part of my love language. And it’s homemade anyway,” she shrugs. “Open it up.”

He unwraps the corners before tearing the paper all the way off. He stares at it in his hands for a long time. She made him a shadow box frame with a picture of them when they were at the beach during sunset. It was their favorite picture and surrounding it were dried flowers. 

“Do you know what these are?” she asks, pointing to the flowers.

“Flowers?” he chuckles touching the glass. 

“This one is from the first flowers you brought me when you helped me move in, these are from our first date, this is from Christmas and the small cranberry. These are from work and my birthday, and these are from Valentine’s Day. These are all the flowers you’ve given me,” she smiles and he looks at her stunned.

“You kept them all?”

“You’re the only one who ever bought me flowers and I loved them all so now you have them, too.”

“This is incredible, I love it. Thank you,” he reaches over to give her a kiss. 

“Wait, there’s more,” she grins and reaches into the basket again. She pulls out live flowers arranged in a pretty bouquet. “These are for you.”

“Baby,” he stressed in astonishment and set the picture frame next to him. 

He pushes her back on the blanket kissing her with all he’s got. The flowers get crushed and some stick in her hair but they’re surrounded by love and the sweet smell of flowers and kiss with passion.

“Happy Birthday my love,” she gazes up at him and sticks a flower behind his ear.

Taglist: @calumance​  @in-superbloom​ @calpalirwin​ @karajaynetoday​ @wiiildflowerrr-blog1​ @sunshineeeluke @littledrummeraussie​ @suchalonelysunflower​ @hoodhoran​ @Fobodob @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt​ @sunshineeashton​ @ashtonsunflower​​ @mymindwide​​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​ @seanna313​ @fivesecondsofonedirection​

[canonicallysoulmates]

Last year, I did a post looking back at some of the j2 moments 2019 and the 2010’s decade had given us, this year with it being so shit and so many of us needing some cheering up I thought I’d do a 2020 version.

So before we say fuck off to 2020 here are some of the j2 moments this year has given us:

SM isn’t everything but it’s still cute when the boys interact with each other online and the year actually started with it, with both boys liking each other’s New Year’s pictures with their kiddos:

X

Those weren’t the only SM interactions, on a more recent example by which I mean December they had this cute little exchange under a pic Jared posted were he was sleeping:

XX

And Jensen liked this cute pic of his smiling boy:

XX

Of course nothing compares to the best SM moment of the year: Jared’s beautiful, emotional, touching, heartfelt birthday message for Jensen 🥺:

And Jensen’s reply ❤:

X

Before everything went under lockdown we got one convention, among the moments we got from it were:

- Jared talking about his birthday post to Jensen, calling Jensen his boy and saying that he has pictures of him and Jensen just hanging out on his phone

full gifset

- Fist bump

- And a hug

full gifset

To me one of the best j2 moments 2020 gave us was the release of this amazing EW photoshoot that I will forever be in love with (especially this cover I will never be over this cover) 😍

This photoshoot was the gift that kept on giving! Not only did we get beautiful new photos of the boys, but we also got some amazing content from the bts like

full gifset

Look at them! The way Jensen closes his eyes and leans into Jared, the way they look at each other this is what love looks like people! 🥰 Find someone who will look at you like how j2 look are looking at each other in that gif. 

And even the accompanying interview gave us a little something with Jared saying that he burrowed strength from Jensen when he was struggling with the job

Padalecki, 37, who’s been vocal about his struggle in the early seasons, says. “I borrowed strength from Jensen.” x

And this is barely the tip of the iceberg I’m just providing some examples of what that photoshoot gave us but it was a feast!

Summer seemed to be the never ending dry spell, many wondered ‘will we ever get j2 content again?’ and the answer was...yes!

Starting with a little interview the boys did with small moments such as

full gifset

And Jensen confirming he and Jared still live near one another.

When Jensen appeared for the second time on Rosenbaum’s podcast he spend a good part of it being fond over Jared and making them sound totally married sharing a story about Jared’s preferred breakfast burrito and how he and Jared have bickered over it and of course starting of the panel by making it clear covid or no covid him and Jared would be making out:

full gifset

The boys had a joint virtual Q&A panel filled with moments, they were joking around, they made each other laugh, and it all started with Jensen saying how handsome Jared looked.

When filming wrapped up Jared and Jensen had their own celebration with dinner and champagne at one of their favorite restaurants:

"Jared and I wrapped on Thursday, and Saturday night he and I went to one of our all-time favorite restaurants, just us, and toasted with some champagne," Ackles says. x

Those two can’t get enough of each other so they road tripped part of the way home together!

“He and I just drove together all of our stuff across the border. So, we drove up together for season 1 and we drove away together for season 15.” - Jensen in the Chelsea Davis interview

Jared mentioning their road trip during a TVLine interview & during a TVInsider interview 

With Supernatural coming to an end a lot of interviews took place and provided us with content:

The Talk interview gave us a married moment, when the boys were asked who had the messier dressing room Jensen replied Jared did to which Jared literally went no sir, no sir. 

The CNN interview had the boys admitting not working together will be an adjustment with Jensen saying “So, it will be different, and that’s probably when he and I will call each other and be like, ‘I miss you so much!’” as well as this moment  "Oh, I thought you meant we fell in love," Ackles quips."We fell in love, too," Padalecki jokes. When I add that plotline was only in fan fiction, Ackles retorts, "Or was it?" Padalecki erupts in laughter. "There it goes the internet."

In an interview with Chelsea Davis Jensen once again brought up that him and Jared will be contacting each other from their new shows

“Jared said it, he’s like I don’t think it’s really gonna set in until we walk unto the set of some other show. But that’s fine cause then we’ll just turn around and call each other and be like ‘what’s your show like?’”

Jared having a little fond moment over Jensen during one of the TVline segments

Jensen saying that 15yrs ago him and Jared got on a rollercoaster (Supernatural) and that he couldn’t have asked for a better partner:

full gifset

Jared comparing him and Jensen finishing the show to the time they ran the Seattle Marathon together (yes, the marathon they ran together and crossed the finish line holding hands) 😭❤: 

“There were a lot of tears all over but Ackles and I were looking at each other like, ‘Man’. It was kind of like finishing the Seattle Marathon. We did it. Dude, we did it, you know? We put in the work…I’ve been with you for 15 years, 15-½ years. I’ve seen you sweat. I’ve seen you bleed. I’ve seen you hurt. I’ve seen you going through stuff personally and put it aside for this show, for your character and I know I’ve done the same and it was bittersweet.”  x

Jensen talking about his and Jared’s Impala’s in the USA Today interview

Ackles says he was “floored” by the gift: “And it's cool, because now Jared and I can just drag-race around Austin.”

“If we get pulled over, it'd be like, ‘Don't worry. FBI Agent Robert Plant,’" Padalecki adds.

“We've got FBI badges in the glove box,” Ackles confirms.

The last virtual panel of the year was Jared’s and it was full of love for Jensen; Jared mentioned him often, unprompted he shared the story of when the twins were born and how hectic it was for him and Jensen to return to Austin in time for their birth honestly hearing him talk about it it’s clear how important that day was for him too and it’s just so sweet, he said him and Jensen will definitely work together again and he hopes it’ll be sooner rather than later, also said Jensen has a standing invitation to do whatever he wants on Walker, and implied he’s already looked at his schedule to see if he could make it up to Toronto where Jensen will be working in 2021. 

And these are just some moments; I know that with everything going on and time losing all meaning it might have seemed like we had a j2-less year but as you can see that’s not true cause not even a pandemic or this hellish year were able to stop or dim the beauty that is j2 and their relationship. 

This men make me so ridiculously happy, and with this being such a hard year for all of us, for some more than others, it makes me all that extra grateful for them and to them for bringing a smile to my face. I hope that with this post they will bring a smile to yours. I personally am looking forward to seeing what j2 goodies 2021 gives us, I’m hopeful there’ll be plenty, our boys have new projects coming out, God willing cons will be able to pick up again in a safe way, and there’ll be even more j2 content to enjoy. 

Until then, stay safe, take care of yourselves, and Happy New Years my fellow tinhats! ❤

[flowesona]

Wicker Man - yandere! jungkook x reader

so my child @babeejk​ wanted a y! sugar daddy jungkook, and i live for nothing if not to fulfil her jungkook obsession so here we are. 

word count: 2.1k

pairing: y! jungkook x gn! reader

Most people (Y/N)’s age would spend their Friday night partying, hanging out with friends, trying new things. But (Y/N) was spending the best days of their life entertaining a young, rich CEO who would no doubt dump them for a new pretty face in a few years.

Jungkook was a sweet gentleman. Always made payments on time, and usually never pushed the boundaries. But there were instances where his hands crept a little too far for (Y/N)’s liking, or his grip on (Y/N)’s arm got a little too tight in the presence of his friends.

He was peaceful enough that Friday night, having ordered takeout for the two of them and put on a movie. Clearly, he needed the company of (Y/N) more than their body as most of their previous sugar daddies had coveted.

With (Y/N) placing their plate down onto the coffee table and relaxing into his arms to watch the movie, it was almost like they were dating. Jungkook didn’t dare push this idea often, happy to stick to the simple domesticity they had as if they were already in love and nothing needed to be said.

He pressed a kiss on the back of (Y/N)’s neck, enjoying the fleeting feeling of his lips on their skin. 

“You seem tired, baby. Want to go to bed?” The film was reaching its climax, but (Y/N)’s eyes were barely able to stay open.

“Mmmmm.” They replied, not protesting as he lifted them like a bride and carried them into his room to rest on his king sized bed.

(Y/N) had allowed a gentle smile to settle on their lips, their eyes having drifted closed. Jungkook settled himself beside them, feeling equally as at peace.

“I wish every night could be like this.” He mused allowed. “Would you like that, baby?”

(Y/N) was only his for two nights a week - Fridays and Saturdays, wherein he would often have them stay for the night.

“Mmmmm.” (Y/N) gave an ambiguous grumble as he hooked his arms around their chest to spoon them.

“Really? I can’t wait, baby. I love you, so much.”

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

The morning after, (Y/N) woke up to an empty bed. Unusual, considering that Jungkook loved to wake up beside them and talk in the morning. Brushing that aside they stood up and padded out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

Jungkook was seated at the counter, glasses perched on his nose and his laptop in front of him next to a steaming cup of hot water (allegedly, it had health benefits but (Y/N) had never understood it).

“Good morning, baby.” Jungkook had a bright smile, beckoning them to join him at the counter. (Y/N) followed his instructions, hopping onto the stool beside him and leaning on his shoulder in a move they knew he adored.

“I’ve been working hard for you this morning, baby. You know, I want to get this done as soon as possible so we can be together.”

“That’s good.” (Y/N) hummed in reply.

“How do you feel about the moving company getting there at two today? That’ll give us time to have lunch on the way.” Jungkook ran his hand down their arm, soothing them as he noticed how they tensed up.

“What?” 

“So you can move in, baby. Of course, you don’t have to bring everything here and I’ll be more than happy to buy anything extra you need-”

“Wait, wait, wait a second.” (Y/N) breathed out slowly. “Moving in?”

“We talked about it last night. You agreed, didn’t you?” (Y/N) scrunched up their nose, trying to recall the conversation but drawing a blank.

“No, I never agreed to that. And I never would. It’d break the terms of our contract.”

Jungkook had such a sincere look of hurt in his eyes that it tugged at (Y/N)’s heartstrings.

“We don’t need that contract, baby. We just need each other. You know I’ll give you anything you want, right?” 

“And what I want… no, what I need… is for some space. This is just my part time hustle, I still have college and a life outside of this. I want to keep it to two days a week, otherwise it’ll blur the lines between you as a sugar daddy and you as a boyfriend.” (Y/N) tried not to let their irritation show as they spoke.

“Fuck the lines, (Y/N)! We don’t need any of those labels, I just want you to be mine as much as I am yours!” Their companion’s grip on their arm had grown tighter to the point that his nails started to draw blood. Realising this, (Y/N) pried his hand away and stood up.

“I’m sorry if I’d misled you. But I’m not looking for that kind of relationship with you, I’m just looking for strictly business. If this doesn’t work, maybe we should end this.” 

Jungkook stared at them incredulously.

“Well…” He bit his lip, deep in thought. “Fine. Life will go on, I guess. I’ll call up the moving company and cancel it. Let’s not end this beautiful thing we have over a silly argument.”

(Y/N) nodded, although they had a horrible feeling in their stomach that it was not the end of the conversation, and Jungkook would stop at nothing to get his way.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

(Y/N) had chosen to make Thursday a ‘me’ day. They cooked themselves breakfast and lunch, did some online shopping and applied a face mask. They had zero intentions of visiting anyone else, when all they wanted to do was de-stress from life.

As they were lighting a candle and listening to some Beethoven, a shrill alarm rang out.

‘Huh. They don’t normally hold the drill today.’ (Y/N) shrugged, waiting for it to cease. However, it didn’t stop.

After a few minutes, (Y/N) grabbed their phone and stepped outside, only to see people hurrying down the stairs. 

“Hurry! Fire!” One of her neighbours yelled, jogging past them. 

Their eyes widened, but sure enough they could see smoke curling throughout the air and they knew they had no time to lose. Leaving their apartment with only their phone in hand, (Y/N) followed their neighbours down the stairs and out of the building, standing on the pavement as they watched the flames licking at the building and smoke billowing out of the open windows. Soon enough there were fire engines on the scene and ambulances to deal with the people who’d inhaled too much smoke. 

(Y/N) found themselves sitting on the pavement, numb with shock. To think everything they owned was going up in the flames was terrifying, even as they saw the firefighters doing everything to minimise the damage. 

“(Y/N)! Baby!” Their state of shock was broken by someone yelling their name, and suddenly they were pulled into a tight hug.

“Baby, thank god you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if something happened to you.” 

“Jungkook?” (Y/N) instantly recognised the voice. “What- How-”

“I was in the area when I heard about what happened. I came as quickly as I could.” Jungkook pressed a kiss to (Y/N)’s forehead. 

“You need to rest. Come back to my place, okay?”

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(Y/N) had ended up staying there far longer than intended. Their apartment had been completely wrecked by the fire, since it had started on their floor. Every possession of theirs, gone so quickly, although of course Jungkook insisted on replacing whatever they wanted.

Jungkook seemed to be very much content with their prolonged stay. In fact, he’d been working from home for the first few days to make sure they were settled in and not feeling too lonely. (Y/N) would sit with him in his home office, since they didn’t really have much else to do, and scroll on their phone until he inevitably called them over to cuddle with him. 

The young man had become progressively bolder with his skinship, never holding back from pressing kisses to their neck or holding them a bit too tightly to his crotch. They hadn’t done ‘it’ yet, but with how he was acting it was only a matter of time. 

They were just sitting together, (Y/N) scrolling through instagram and Jungkook answering some emails when the desk phone rang. Jungkook reached around them to answer it, holding it to his ear for a few seconds before putting it back down.

“Your nintendo switch has just been delivered. I need to go down to the lobby and sign for it. Are you okay waiting here for a few minutes?” Jungkook pouted, as (Y/N) nodded in reply.

He pressed a kiss to their cheek before standing up.

“Don’t miss me too much, baby.” He smiled before leaving. 

(Y/N) let out a breath they didn’t realise they’d been holding in whilst he was there. But now, they were bored as ever. 

A chime rang out, and (Y/N) found their attention drawn to Jungkook’s phone, sitting there innocently. They reached over and picked it up, only seeing a text from his mother asking about dinner plans next week. But they noted how he’d changed his lockscreen to a picture of them, from a few nights ago when they’d accompanied him to a formal event and he’d asked one of his colleagues to take a picture of them together.

(Y/N) suddenly had something to do. They set about trying to unlock Jungkook’s phone, first trying their fingerprint and face ID but to no avail. Then, realising that he had a numeral password they tried typing in a few dates - his birthday, his parent’s anniversary. Then, out of sheer boredom and with only one attempt they tried their own birthday only for them to be granted access to his lockscreen.

‘Jeez, he needs to get a life if he’s that whipped for me.’ They sighed, as they scrolled through his phone. Nothing was particularly out of the ordinary, until they checked the photo gallery, to be met with tons of pictures of them. Screenshots from social media, snaps from their ‘dates’, selfies with them fast asleep in his arms. It was enough to make (Y/N) shudder with fright.

Another message popped up.

‘I need the other half of the payment, sir, or I will be contacting the police.’

(Y/N) clicked on it, expecting business talk only to be met with something else entirely. Fear settled in their stomach as they scrolled up through the messages.

‘(Y/N) has been evacuated outside, doesn’t seem to have been hurt.’

‘Someone’s called emergency services, but the fire should spread far enough that (Y/N)’s apartment will be damaged.’

‘I’ve started it, it’s spreading quickly.’

It didn’t take a genius to realise what had happened. 

(Y/N) dropped Jungkook’s phone on the floor in shock, standing up immediately. They’d walked right into his arms without hesitation, they’d played into his plan perfectly. Jungkook always got what he wanted, no matter the cost.

‘I have to get out of here.’

(Y/N) started for the door, only stopping to tuck their phone into their pocket. They were just by the entrance to the penthouse when they heard talking outside.

They knew they had to hide, but it was too late. 

Jungkook burst through the door, accompanied by a stern faced delivery driver carrying a large box. This was subsequently placed by the door and he made a swift exit, avoiding (Y/N)’s existence the entire time.

“Ah, baby I missed you. Here, come and see what I bought for you.” Jungkook beckoned to them, but one look at their face told him he’d read their mood entirely wrong.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He cooed as he approached them. “Tell me, and I’ll fix it for you.”

“Get the hell away from me.” (Y/N) snapped. Jungkook froze. “I know what you did. What the hell is wrong with you? I could’ve died in that fire?”

His face became stern.

“I would never have allowed that to happen. I just wanted to give you a little push to move in with me, that’s all.” 

“You’re insane!”

“And you’re too stubborn to progress our relationship!” Jungkook bit back. “Can’t you see how hard I try to make you happy? Is that not enough for you to love me?”

“I never want to see you again.” (Y/N) huffed, trying to show past him only to be caught in his iron grip. 

“You’re not going anywhere.”

(Y/N) struggled, but Jungkook’s determination was stronger than their body weight.

“Maybe I am crazy, baby. And you know what that means?” He leant in close, so (Y/N) could feel the warmth of his breath. “You never know what I’m going to do next. So don’t try me unless you want to get burnt.”