#The purpose of dreams

[shattered-earth]

I accidentally made a bowl you can't set down looollllll....

I love it but my mind boggles at how it even exists

[minzart]

Going togheter with this

[candybimbosblog]

I luv bein so dum hehe but i have some uses hehe 💖💖💖💖

[vivaislenska]

Oops this is happening 😳. Sorry that I keep posting wips (blugh and scheduled ones, no less), but HE is constantly on my brain! !!

TBB S3 Spoiler comment: Because the “shadow” took a ROYAL beating in 3x7, and if “The damage [Echo] sustained on Skako Minor most likely wiped out all of [his] preset behavioral modifications,” then maybe… just maybe X trooper training won’t stick … my tinfoil hat is vibrating 🙏🏼😬.

[tangyyrine]

Spoilers for the Book of Bill

Been seeing a lot of people interpreting this as “Bill and Ford had drunk birthday dream sex” and honestly I can see why lmao 💀

[teaboot]

if ur a murderbot nerd now do u have any fun opinions abt it yet?

Oh my goddd you have no idea

I really, really, really like Murderbot because it comes at life with this perspective we don't often see that is very real among people who have already been through traumatic experiences, who developed skills and abilities to suvive that were once useful but no longer have context- that search that traumatized people go through to recalibrate and reorient ourselves in a world where we no longer really need those things to survive.

A bit personal here, but my own issues personally involved a lot of psychological abuse that made it difficult to trust my own perceptions of reality, and as a result I found I was very easy to lie to and manipulate.

To handle this, I became obsessive over writing things down, cataloging details and making notes of things as they happened- I'd carry recording devices and make audio recordings and stay up late at night to transcribe what they'd picked up, read those over and over again to reassure myself of things I wasn't certain about.

While doing this, there were others close to me that I felt responsible for, who I had to protect from others and protect myself from at the same time. Life was about two things: Evidence, and defusing threats

Over time, I learned to trust myself as my memories matched what had been recorded where their narrative didn't, but I never really kicked the habit. Like Murderbot, I had added something to my own programming that reassured me I was safe, that I was in control of myself, that I couldn't be mistaken or crazy or broken or used.

I'm only on book two, but already I see myself in Murderbot again. No spoilers here, but when I left home- left that dangerous context- I didn't need to repeat these patterns to survive anymore, but I still did, because I didn't know anything else anymore. It felt safe, comfortable, knowing knowing that the past couldn't repeat itself, because I'd written that flaw- blind trust in myself-  out of my programming and replaced it with something else.

Still, though, I'd become something specially suited to thrive in a very specific environment. Nothing else felt right like followinghigh-risk situations, like witnessing and watching and recording and knowing I had proof of the truth where others might not.

People took notice. I wound up in security by accident, but's an environment that I thrive in due to the same patterns and behaviours I originally developed when I had no other choice. I climbed the ladder pretty quickly, once supervisors caught on that my reports were the most accurate, most objective, most factual, detail-oriented and timely. I keep others and myself safe and prioritize public safety above all else, and I perform well under pressure

Now I'm in a position where I often wonder, do I enjoy this job, or is it just what I'm good at? I have a set of skills now, but do I have the option of choosing not to use them? What would I be, if not this? Could I be anything else? Can Murderbot be anything else?

It has a set of skills that set it apart, make it different, special. It does what it knows best. But is it free? Does it want to be? What does it want? Does it have to do what it was built to do? What if it didn't?

I know what I'm good for. The idea of deliberately leaving what I'm good for for something uncertain, that I might hate, that I might be useless at- the choice to give up what was so important to me for so long and become deliberately obsolete?

Let go of my entire purpose? The only thing I know, that I fit so well into but don't actually know if I enjoy? Now that I can choose? Now that enjoyment is a luxury I can afford to consider?

Yeah, that resonates.

I like the Murderbot series so far because it feels the way I feel: Like the most significant and formative part of my story, the part where I became what I am, has already happened

And now I have to just. Keep going

Into... what?

It feels absurd. Like a microwave giving up on reheating food and deciding to start a life around abstract dance.

So, uh. Yeah. It's really very wild to see this same philosophical-ish dilemma I've been digging over in the back of my mind and in therapy for the last forever laid out so plainly in a genuinely exciting and enjoyable story like this. I feel much less alone, and I... kind of really need to see how it resolves, I think.

So, uh. Yeah. Read Murderbot, I guess

[foxy-kitsune]

i think i am malfunctioning. like i am definitelly not thinking clearly right now.

[wonilita]

౨ৎ How to start over

inspired by pinterest | ♡

ʚɞ get rid of toxic people and things like environments or apps.

ʚɞ clean your room

ʚɞ throw away things that you dont need / that are old

ʚɞ stay hydrated

ʚɞ always be positive

ʚɞ delete old convos with people you dont speak to anymore

ʚɞ find new interests like dancing or journaling

ʚɞ be nice and kind to everyone

ʚɞ learn to love yourself

[inkedcryptid]

I forgot to mention how happy I am that Belos didn't die a quick and/or off screen death like we see in many animated shows. They made that fucker slowly melt away in acid rain while the embodiment of the thing he sought to destroy stared down at him. Then the witches he hated with all his being literally stomped him to death.

Just like Raine said, "That was extremely satisfying"

[clarissasbakery]

i’m already on my bs….

[gaycrittercentral]

BEHOLD!! I made an entry to Skunkape's 2023 Holiday Contest! :'Dc I worked so fuckin hard on it hhhrhrhrhgdhsjglshgjdjfh and let me tell you, I do not at all hope to win but I do hope it makes Steve snicker. Just the thought that he'll be seeing it is wild. Hope it makes y'all snicker too ehehehe!!

[dramatic-dolphin]

I just had a weird dream where there was a popular video game series set in a post-apocalypse world, about a group of girls who have been transformed into some kind of nightmarish cyborg abominations that looked like someone crossed an antropomorphized motorcycle with a xenomorph. and they killed people for fun.

anyways with the new release the company responsible for the games was like "we listened to the public outcry about the lack of positive femininity, and made some changes to better represent women! listening and learning! <3"

the game was the exact same as the one before. the only change was that they turned the nightmarish scooter-abominations bright pink.

[scarlett-foxxx]

merry crimbo 🤭🎄💕✨

[soaked-ghost]

hatred for someone you've never met (they wear your face and bear your name, and they do everything better than you)

[clowncarcrash]

there’s something so sickening about the idea of kalina, a character who has done undoubtedly evil things, coming back and being justifiably mad at kristen. kalina tortured and killed people but she did all of it for cassandra and here’s kristen treating the most important person in the world to her like trash. the potential of “what does it say about you that a villain like me could love her better than you can?” ………

i feel fucking insane

[thinwhitedoc]

SHERLOCK | Martin Freeman as John Watson