#There are so many beautiful and simple relationships in this drama seriously

[kevinsreviewcatalogue]

Review: Bride of Chucky (1998)

Bride of Chucky (1998)

Rated R for strong horror violence and gore, language, some sexual content and brief drug use

<Originally posted at https://kevinsreviewcatalogue.blogspot.com/2023/04/review-bride-of-chucky-1998.html>

Score: 3 out of 5

The return of the Child's Play franchise after seven years of dormancy, Bride of Chucky is the point where everybody involved decided to just go and say "fuck it, let's make a straight-up horror-comedy" -- and in doing so, probably guaranteed the series' continued relevance. There had always been a measure of black comedy to the character of Chucky, a doll possessed by the spirit of a serial killer who series creator Don Mancini wrote as a foul-mouthed, trailer-trash thug, but in the prior films, it mostly lurked in the background and concerned the idea of a children's toy saying such terrible things. Here, however, perhaps realizing that it'd be difficult to take the fourth movie in a slasher series about a killer doll seriously, especially after the third movie hit diminishing returns, Mancini and director Ronny Yu opted to put the humor front and center, giving Chucky a similarly twisted romantic partner and doing a story that homaged Natural Born Killers as they went on a road trip. I've seen some fans rank this one next to the original as one of the best movies in the series, and while I had a bit too many problems with the human side of the story to come to the same conclusion, I still highly enjoyed this film and thought that Chucky was as good as he'd ever been.

We start with the film retconning in a romantic partner for Charles Lee Ray when he was still alive, as the beautiful but trashy Tiffany Valentine gets her hands on the remains of the Chucky doll he once possessed, rebuilds it with parts from her own doll collection, and uses a voodoo ritual to bring him back to life. Unfortunately, while Chucky is happy to be alive, he and Tiffany saw their relationship very differently, and when Tiffany breaks up with him over it, Chucky kills her and proceeds to use the same ritual to put her soul into the body of another doll. Now in the same boat together, Chucky and Tiffany head off to Hackensack, New Jersey, Chucky's old hometown where he was buried, thanks to another retcon: apparently, Chucky was wearing a magical amulet called the Heart of Damballa when he died that wound up buried with him, and he needs that amulet to transfer his soul back into a human body, implied to be the real reason why his prior attempts to do so with Andy Barclay failed. Taking a pair of local teenagers, Tiffany's neighbor Jesse and his girlfriend Jade, hostage, Chucky and Tiffany head off to Hackensack planning to transfer their souls into the young couple's bodies and be reborn as human.

I'm gonna get my biggest problem with the film out of the way now: Jesse and Jade are two very dull protagonists. Their actors Nick Stabile and Katherine Heigl give flat, forgettable performances that somehow aren't the worst acting in the movie, and their teen romance storyline, with Jade as the rich girl under the thumb of her cop uncle Warren who has to hide her love for the more working-class Jesse, felt rote and cookie-cutter in the worst way. Don Mancini has readily copped to the fact that this was essentially a Chucky movie done as a Scream movie, an influence that's obvious the moment you look at the font on the poster, and while he's speaking mostly of the film's sense of humor, it's also visible in how the film tries to be a teen drama with Jesse and Jade. The only scene where they're interesting is an unintentional one, where their friend David thinks that they're the real killers and we see their words and actions through his eyes coming across as something that killers might say. Most of the rest of the cast were two-dimensional, from Alexis Arquette as the goth poser Damien to John Ritter basically playing his character from 8 Simple Rules (but this time as a cop) to James Gallanders and Janet Kidder as the horny newlywed couple Russ and Diane who Jesse and Jade (and Chucky and Tiffany) encounter in Niagara Falls, but all of them were more interesting and fun in their limited screen time than the actual protagonists were.

Fortunately, while Jesse and Jade were the heroes, they weren't the main characters here. No, that would be the killer doll Chucky and his new bride Tiffany. The film does make reference to Bride of Frankenstein by having Tiffany watch it on TV early in the film, but the actual dynamic between her and the Chuck feels a lot closer to Mickey and Mallory Knox from Natural Born Killers, minus that film's satirical thrust. They are depicted as the definition of "white trash", Chucky needing no introduction if you've seen any other movie in this series and Tiffany being a flirt who lives in a trailer and, as a human, is never shown in outfits that don't show off Jennifer Tilly's legs, cleavage, and hourglass figure. They're the kind of couple who, if this came out today, would compare themselves to the Joker and Harley Quinn, with an extremely toxic and volatile relationship dynamic in which the two of them are constantly fighting and then making up. We all know people like Chucky and Tiffany in real life (minus the murder), and that's a big part of why it works so well. Brad Dourif gets to use his great Chucky persona in a lot more contexts outside of threatening to kill people in his interactions with Tiffany, who Tilly plays as an almost Jessica Rabbit-like sexpot in ways that can't help but be hilarious when she's making all that sexy talk in the form of a two-foot-tall living doll. Their interactions were hysterical, not only making Chucky the best he'd been in the series so far but giving him an equally entertaining partner to bounce off of. They were undoubtedly a parody of Mickey and Mallory, but even though neither was playing it completely straight, they were still good enough that I could've easily pictured them playing the genuine article, especially with Tiffany's arc over the course of the film of her realizing that Chucky is a terrible partner for her and that she can do so much better.

The body count in this reached into the double digits, and the kills were about as violent as you could get in a time when the MPAA, even pre-Columbine, was under pressure from parents' groups over violence in the media, cutting away from the most explicit bits but frequently showing the bloody aftermath while Ronny Yu's sense of style behind the camera implied the rest. It wasn't a particularly scary film, instead inviting us to take Chucky and Tiffany's perspective as they snickered at the poor suckers they were about to take out, the film seeming to know that what we really came for was the gnarly shit that made the killers look like badasses. It knew, after ten years and at the tail end of the cynical, disaffected '90s, that nobody could take a movie about a killer doll seriously, and it fully leaned into that not just in its sense of humor but also in its action and violence. This was Chucky in franchise mode and fully self-aware about it, a slasher movie from the killer's sick, twisted perspective that not only delivered a thrill ride but regularly turned to the viewer to remark "heh, that was wicked, wasn't it?"

The Bottom Line

So far, Bride of Chucky is just about on par with the second film in my rankings of the series as a whole. Its boring teenage characters let it down and hold it back from greatness, but otherwise, this was exactly the kind of Chucky movie you would've made if it was 1998 and you wanted to bring the series back from the dead: a smarmy horror-comedy romp that anticipates every joke you could make about it, parries it effortlessly, and in doing so makes an inherently ridiculous villain seem cool.

[dreamingsushi]

Marry Me! - Overall Review

So I watched this because I loved the Webtoon it is based on so much and I seriously have no regrets about this life choice. I’ll try to be concise, but there’s a lot that I liked about this drama.

Plot

The story is about Akiyasu Shin and Sawamoto Himari who agrees to some sort of a contract marriage based on a new law implemented to protect people unemployed. Slowly, they navigate through this relationship to figure out what they want from it and what way it should evolve to.

It’s a very soft and wholesome story, with the growth of both characters being super important. Every side story just brings a new element to help them navigate the different challenges of married life. All of it is just beautiful and satisfying. They don’t leave any plot hole. Even though their mutual feelings gradually grows, I wouldn’t say it solely focuses on their love, but mostly on how to become a good partner to each other, how to be considerate of each other’s needs without assuming stuff. And it’s a lot about personal growth, Shin being a very emotionless person and Himari being extremely introverted and solely living for the sake others instead of her own happiness.

In this story, the characters make mistakes, questionable choices, but it all feels so natural, not forced for the plot. Because they keep learning throughout the process. Sometimes, even in the wrong, they remain stubborn because they’re willing to give it all to protect what’s dear to them. And while they’re growing, evolving, they still remain mostly the same, which was refreshing. They’re not doing a complete 180, they’re just trying their best and it hits so close to home when you think about what real life is.

I loved how even though the story was going on very naturally, they still integrated some of the quirkyness that is very specific to Japanese dramas. It felt also just like a reference to the fact that this was a comic to begin with.

Story wise, maybe I’m biased because I loved the Webtoon so much, it’s a 10/10. It followed the original plot perfectly, with some cut scenes, but that’s alright, because the important parts were still there and it worked wonders.

Acting

For those who don’t know me or haven’t read any of my reviews previously, I’m not a Japanese speaker, hence I don’t consider myself fully apt to judge the acting. So please consider this as the opinion of someone who understands some basics of Japanese but is far from being able to communicate in that language.

I was pleased with the acting. It simple, yet meaningful. Especially from the two leads. You could see the way they changed. Also they’re both characters that aren’t that expressive on their deep emotions, but as they grew closer to each other, you could notice the tenderness in their eyes, even before their actions would speak of it.

The quirkyness was super well integrated too, it didn’t feel exaggerated, even though it was exaggeration. I really enjoyed that too.

Overall, this gets a 9/10, because nothing’s perfect and there were moments I was less convinced but still! Very good job!

Aesthetic

I loved the visuals of the drama. It felt super... normal. You know, everything felt like a real home, instead of a made up one with accessories to make pretend. At first I felt Himari’s home felt so crowded and I don’t know, but it slowly grew on me. I especially enjoyed the fact that appart from the house and the office, there wasn’t many location, so we were always in a constant surrounding and when out of it, it was bringing growth to the characters. I liked the simplicity. The only point that should be a little improved is the lighting, in Himari’s home, it was quite dark quite often.

I also enjoyed the soundtrack. It wasn’t very important, but it still was complementary of the scenes and the drama, I especially thought the ending was quite cute.

Overall, it visually get a nice 8/10 for me!

Should you watch this drama?

I absolutely recommend this drama. It’s soft and sweet, without being annoying and overly cheesy. The story albeit somewhat nonsensical with the whole NEET protection law, is still very relatable. The characters are not annoying. The rythm of the story is well paced. The episodes are short, but efficient. Seriously, there’s close to nothing bad to this drama. I feel it would be a waste not to enjoy it, so go ahead and put that on your to watch list.

List of full recaps

All / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10

[honeypieoriginal]

Two of us (2000) - my review

“- So, we’re alone.

 - Yeah. You, me and everything between us.”

I've been wanting to talk about this movie for a while, and by a while I mean years. It's my favourite Beatles-related movie, and I'll finally try to put my love for it into words. 

I think it's very important that from the beginning they made it clear that this movie is all fiction, even though it was based on real events. The premise of it is to imagine a realistic scenario of what could have happened on this day that Paul Mccartney visited John Lennon’s apartment in 1976. It's simple, honest and it never tries to be bigger than it is. 

And without a doubt they succeeded in portraying this unique relationship between John and Paul in a very realistic and truthful way. I think the reason for that is not only because the writers took it seriously and really studied their personalities but also because the director, Michael Lindsay-Hogg, was a man who worked on a few Beatles music videos and directed Let it Be (spending a whole month by their side). It's also relevant to mention the great performance of Aidan Quinn (Paul McCartney) and Jared Harris (John Lennon). They look nothing like their respective characters but their acting was outstanding and convincing, without any forced impressions or accents. They managed to capture John and Paul’s peculiar chemistry, not failing to recreate their silly voices, jokes and funny improvisations, things like that that only both of them understood. As many said, they had their own language. All that contributed to a beautiful and genuine representation of their relationship, capturing with excellence the Lennon-McCartney essence. And that is definitely my favourite thing about this movie. 

It's very interesting to see how their relationship flows throughout the movie, considering they were best friends for years but have grown apart, things between them obviously weren’t at their best. Starting awkward and uptight, they take a while to reconnect and act like themselves again. They go through short and long dialogues, a shared joint, a meditation session and arguments in the first act of the movie, until the second act when they finally decide to leave the apartment, that's when I feel they start having fun together like they always used to and it's very lovely to watch. And for me, one of the most important scenes is in the beginning of the end, on the rooftop, when John allows himself to be vulnerable and they share a very emotional moment. A beautiful scene that can say a lot about their deep connection. (I can’t help everytime I watch this scene it reminds me of the lyrics of “Tell Me What You See”, did anyone get that as well?)

To finally finish, it's nice to remember that unlike movies like Nowhere Boy, Paul actually  likes Two of Us. He said that it didn't happen exactly like it was made but he wished it had. I think receiving a thumbs up from him means a lot. Means that they did a good and truthful job. Which goes back to what I said about the honesty and simplicity of this movie. It doesn't make up some extra drama to be more entertaining like a lot of Beatles biopics do.  It’s all about two friends reconnecting to each other, and that's enough. 

Ps. I also think it’s nice that most of the dialogue of this movie is based on a real quote from John or Paul, making it even more realistic. 

[lovee-infected]

So Merlin the goddamn great, smh but no ROOK LORE I AM FURIOUS! I STILL WANT TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS

Warning: Spoiler alert!

Oooooofff the final episodes of chapter 5 did seriously explode the fandom I see, from the overblot Grim to our twst Merlin, everything literally everything about the end of this chapter was a big surprise but... This chapter has also brought up a considerably huge wave of drama along with it, which is basically because of Rook voting for RSA instead of NRC. I, personally, considered it to be just a reason to laugh and make a meme or two about this chapter and all. But looking at the fandom, I can clearly see that it's been causing some serious consequences, some fans/creators are leaving the fandom, there has been a couple of offensively worded Rook hate posts (small memes and jokes aren't counted) and there's ever a #RookIsOverParty on Twitter now.

Okay but, it was all cool and chill until it was just a joke. Can't you see? This happens in many fandoms! And is often a good chance to laugh! But...This is getting serious. A huge majority of this fandom (even Rook/Vil shippers and Rook stans themselves) are hating on Rook/Rook stans and fans are leaving, therefore I believe the situation needs to be clarified before it leads to more dramas.

Many of you had also requested a Rook analysis before sooooo- here we go!

First off, this episode did eventually give us a considerable amount of Rook lore although it wasn't as perfect as we wanted it to be. Most of us wanted to get to know him more, but I'd say focusing on all we've got already would do for now. But before that, let's talk about what exactly happened in chapter 5 and why are fand hating on Rook rn:

after the performances are voted on, it’s revealed that nrc lost to rsa by just a single vote. that vote turned out to be rook, who voted for rsa in favor of their own team as he was moved by their spirit. the whole nrc team is shellshocked (of course) and vil faints

it’s also later revealed that rook is one of neige’s biggest fans, possessing albums full of his bromides, going to each meet and greet, and even writing him anonymous fan letters.

Okay okay I know this was quite unexpected and resulted in NRC's loss, but before you say how much of a shitty character Rook is consider this:

1) He was totally honest with his opinion and thoughts.

One of the interesting facts regarding Rook's character design and presence in chapter 5, is how he played the role of both the huntsman and the mirror.

He was honest with his beliefs and decision, although it was against his friends. Just as how the mirror introduced Snow White as the fairest one of all although Evil Queen didn't want to hear of her.

This is also what Rook did, he judged based on his idealistics towards beauty. NOT because he's a screaming Neige fanboy and NOT because he disliked Vil.

Honestly, if there's one person whose judgement would be strong and on point, that'll be Rook and only him; in parts (2) & (4) we'll explain why.

2) His decision has nothing to do with his personal relationship with Vil!

Yes, he voted for RSA, but to assume that this means he secretly preferred Neige over Vil all this time and call him a betrayer now, that's wrong.

Look, if there one person who could judge NRC's process through the training sessions fairly, that'll be Rook. He's been there all this time, watching each and every second of Vil's coaching and team's progressing, note that he also helped Vil the most, this performance would've been impossible without his help!

But, he was also there when Vil lost it, when Vil's fear of not being the winner took over him and made him even try to poison Neige. At some point Vil was nothing like the perfect coach he was at the very beginning, and if Rook hadn't told Neige to escape who knows how terrible the whole think might've gone.

His decision, on the other hand, was HIS decision. He was asked to choose one performance, and he chose what he liked; that's all, no big deal. Note that the silly thing with the whole issue isn't mainly how Rook voted for RSA, it's also about how half of the audience as well voted for RSA which makes it sound almost stupid, this point will be explained in part (5)!

3) Have you all really forgotten what Rook is like?

I mean, come on this is what he is in general! This is Rook Hunt we're speaking of, one of the rarely known characters of the game and mister of surprises and unpredictable decisions!

Him being a Neige fan is no big deal, and I assure you, he probably stans a lot of other people else than Neige too. Don't forget that this is the same monseiur Rook who gave 100 points! to anyone who participated in NRC's VDC test, so there shouldn't really be a panic taking all over the fandom just because we know he stans Neige, Rook is one to greatly appreciate the concept of beauty in general, and Neige is one of the most famous and beautiful people in the whole twisted wonderland, so other than this being much of a snow white reference, it was totally expected to see him stanning Neige as well. Keep this in mind that just because he's a fan of Neige, it doesn't mean that he hates or he has betrayed Vil.

In Rook's point of view, there is no such thing as rivals in beauty, he just appreciates both Vil and Neige's beauty regardless of what's going on between them.

4) This chapter proved that Rook is indeed a perfect friend for Vil.

While there hasn't ever been a mention of a canon relationship between Vil and Rook, shipper may be happy to know that this episode didn't sink the ship at all. And if you judge and see through what happened in the right eye, you'll see it even shows how strong their friendship is.

Note that this wasn't the first time Rook criticizes Vil either, back in Vil's SR lab coat story he openly criticized Vil and said he's gonna get fat if he continued to eat like this. See? Rook never the once lied to Vil, he openly judges him, and his judgements are logical and on point.

Vil on the other hand is always working his hardest to improve, to become better and completer by each and every day that passes. He needs such a friend by his side to judge him nonetheless, a friend to judge him just like the mirror judged the Queen. But there's a difference, Vil accepts and appreciates criticism BECAUSE, he wants to improve.

A friend like Rook is seriously what he needs, Rook supported and helped him all the way as RSA was getting prepared for VDC, he could've just made them lose and by ruining their training sessions if he wanted to! Can't you see? He helped Vil more than anyone else, but didn't lie to him when it was the time to judge. Vil still has a long way to go, and Rook is aware. He wants Vil to see that he isn't yet complete so that he can become better than he already is.

That's it, that's what a real friend would do.

5) Twst needs to be more considerative toward story line and sudden reveals.

On the one hand, it's mainly fans who are exaggerating the whole issue and starting drama over a simple voting and all, but twst itself as well is partly guilty. This is such a huge and active fandom, each and every detail about the story can be super effective (ex: Sebek being half human, Malleus being an orphan, etc). After making RSA's Yahoo performance look super silly they worst thing they could do was to make NRC lose like this, meaningless, silly and helpless. Why?

Twst seriously needs to take details more seriously as they could've AT LEAST made this comparison sound reasonable by choosing a better and stronger song than a twisted version of Heigh-Ho.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with Rook voting for Neige, but seriously? Rook voting for Neige had to be a symbol of honesty and Rook's loyalty toward the concept of beauty itself and not Vil, not an stupid decision to make Rook prefer a childish song over NRC's wonderful performance and look like a helpless Neige fan boy.

-Sigh- Well, I guess that's all I had for now, hope I didn't miss anything. But anyway, the Rook drama is slowly getting overwhelming. There's nothing wrong with memes and jokes AS LONG AS THEY'RE JUST A JOKE- offending characters with clear intention and causing drama because of it is not okay. I know that was unexpected please remember not to exaggerate the story too much either!

[thesunshinebunny]

When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part VII)

 Series Master list

pairing: canon Eren Jaeger x reader

content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)

summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?

Chapter summary: Sometimes, to understand the present, it’s necessary to pay a visit to the past. While reader is in a deep sleep, their unconscious plays a trick on them by reminding the most important and catastrophic moments in their life.

Word Count: 9.1K

Year 847, a very hot and humid day.

First day of training in the 104° squad. Each of the hundreds of soldiers coming into the slaughterhouse gathered in lines, lined up, waiting for our first orders. Announcement of names and locations. Some serious who didn’t need an introduction, other clowns who didn’t take the training seriously. Instead, I...was  waiting with an empty view towards the horizon, not seeing anything or anyone in particular.

First day, call and presentation; some came from cities, some from towns, but none from a filthy wealthy family of nobility, much less royalty. Most of us simple villagers, presented on a silver platter for the aristocracy, entering our graves on our own. Each one would have their reasons, some simpler than others, some more hypocritical than others, and others more selfish than all of us here.

First day, and there were already a couple on the ground and others being severely punished. Like the tall girl with a ponytail who had the brilliant idea to not only steal, but also cook a potato before training and eat it in the middle of line formation. A village girl, a hunter and faithful to her principles and culture; a girl who wasn’t ashamed to show her true colors on the first day, even if it gave her a punishment that would end up lasting for hours, until nightfall. An incredible example for the most stupid, but equally for the bravest. I think it was hearing where did she coming from that something inside me arose like a flower in the middle of spring, or maybe it was hearing her resound every minute around the training ground until the moon rose. I’m not very clear about it. Maybe I wanted to be nice to someone after a long time, and what better way to start with a person who was humiliated on the first day of what would be our next life.

I wasn’t quick enough to bring her something to eat when her punishment ended, a certain very short blonde beat me beforehand, but I was quick to save her a seat next to me the next night, while saving her a portion of bread. I assumed she would like it, and I wasn’t wrong. She devoured every last crumb along with her ration of dubiously sourced food on a metal plate. Hearing her eat with such enthusiasm brought a smile to my face, it reminded me of the little tadpole children who came and went in my town, asking for a piece of bread or an apple, even knowing that they had food at home. Those playful children who wandered through the small market, looking for some candy and returning disappointed at their doors when they hadn’t found any.

"I didn't hear yesterday where you came from"

Sasha, I think that's the name of the girl in front of me. Apparently she was talking when my mind wandered with nostalgia and melancholy. Her eyes were very fixed on mine, and as much as I looked away, I could still feel them penetrating my skull. I guess you can't dodge the past for long, right? At the very least, I tried to be as cautious as possible when giving my answer.

"I come from a village northeast of the wall Maria, far enough away from the wall to be warned of the fall before a titan reached our town"

She played with the poorly made metal spoon on a piece of carrot that came out of the poor soup, already cold, that this place delighted us for the second night in a row. I made me a mental note to go out hunting every now and then if I wanted to have a good meal and not end up anorexic and a failure.

“And what do you do in your village? In mine we are dedicated to hunting, but they’re taking away the land for the cattle” She took a huge bite of his bread, showing how angry she was. I couldn’t blame her, taking the land out of a hunting village was like taking away their essence, a part of their soul.

"We’re dedicated to raising horses and handicrafts" From our town came the fastest horses that the military police could ask for, some of them stayed for the field and keep the children busy.

Beautiful horses dedicated to the gambling of the nobility, others common for the plowing of the agricultural peoples. Horses dedicated to the race for the survey corps; what the government needed, we provided. It would be hypocritical of me to say now that the horse was my least favorite animal. It was not. For me they were the most beautiful, faithful and loyal creatures in this whole little world. My favorite animal without a doubt.

I wanted to talk about the various horses we managed to sell at a high price to the most authoritarian court on the Rose wall, but a noise from behind our table made my jaw drop.

A "Tsk" echoed throughout the dining room.

I turned my head, hoping to find an animal, or anything but a human like us. To my misfortune, I met the withering look of a brunette with bright green eyes, just as bright as those of the forest, and his hand holding the spoon tightly, as if my simple face angered him.

"Do you have a problem, Jaeger?" I remembered him from yesterday. Serious, tall, with a look that could kill you at any moment. Decisive and lethal. At the same time conceited and childish. He had won the ears and admiration of the majority here with well-used words and a touch of drama.

"Yes, I have a problem" his hand let the spoon escape on the plate, causing some drops to fly in all directions "I have a problem with people like you"

He got up from his seat, walking slowly but steadily toward my table, planting himself in front of me. The lap dog as a friend of his following behind him with a decomposed face, one hand half raised, perhaps to stop him if necessary. But let's face it, of the two, Eren was the one with the most strength, it was obvious to the naked eye.

"And what is that due to? Or do you wait for me to get into your little head and find some clue that can help me understand the cockroach you have for a brain?" At no time did I get up, I wasn’t going to lower myself to the same situation as him.

Half of my body had my back to him, so I was looking at him over the shoulder. He may not have liked that, ‘cause he immediately grabbed my shoulder and turned me around, waiting for me to look him in the eye.

"People like you, who come from villages far from the cities, who don’t know the real danger, are a problem" He looked so angry, angry with the world perhaps? I couldn't find an answer to that anger, nor the source of his feelings. But what I did know, was that he wasn't going to let me be trampled on by a fool who knew the world simply by seeing a titan within his short life.

"Excuse me, but you realize that many here come from villages far from the big cities and only very few saw a titan with their own eyes" And it was those same people who began to get up and look at him with bad eyes. The same ones who looked at him with wonder, as if he were an angel fallen from heaven to bring them the news of the world.

I fervently removed his hand from my shoulder and deigned to stand up, trying to gain some ground in this pathetic discussion. I wasn't going to raise my voice like I assumed the boy in front of me was going to do it at any moment, so my body did it instead.

"I don't understand what your complaints are about, but please, oh great Eren, the one who saw a titan bigger than the wall, explain to me" I could notice how his other friend was approaching towards his back, looking at me with caution.  Now, of the group of three, with her I had to be the most careful.

"Are you making fun of me?" he took a dangerous step towards me. 

“’course not” ‘Course yes, but I wasn't going to say it openly.

"People who don’t see the enemy in the face think they can come out of the walls to face it" did my ears hear that correctly? I looked at him as if a third eye had popped out on his forehead.

"Not having seen a titan in my short life doesn’t mean that I cannot go out to fight them"

"And yet you have no fucking idea what you're up against" the conversation was getting more and more heated, his feet were getting closer to mine and I could lightly feel his breath on my skin.

"That doesn't mean you can come and mistreat me" I instantly threw myself back, but ran into the legs of the table. Sasha's hand rested on my shoulder, unable to encourage me with words, but enough emotionally.

"Fucking villagers" he took a step back, turning on his heel and looking, without seeing, or so it seemed, the crowd around him "you don't know what it’s to see a relative of yours being eaten in front of your eyes!"

Ah, that's where so much hatred for the world came from. But I wasn’t his target. He must express his emotions, his anger, towards a common enemy, not towards a comrade who was going to help him in battle. Taking it with me wasn’t going to help him at all, and the fact I was from a small village didn’t mean I was naive and deserved the anger of the citizens. "I'm sorry that happened to you-"

"My mom was eaten in front of my eyes!"

"I'm sorry that happened to your mom! And I'm very sorry that you had to see it with your own eyes, but taking it out on me is not going to help you ”I pushed him back with my words, unfortunately they were not enough to stop his viper tongue.

"You can't know what it feels like to lose your mother like that" he turned his back on me, and before turning to his blond friend, he turned his head over his shoulder, looking at me again with contempt. "Go back to your village with your mommy and cries on her lap for being incapable of shit"

His comment blew me away.

He had left my mind blank and the only thing I managed to do was throw myself back, and sit down heavily on the hard wooden bench. My eyes stared into nothingness, unable to observe the multitude of eyes that settled on me with sadness, some with regret and support. Sasha sat down next to me on the left, while on the right a figure that I didn’t recognize crouched down to look me in the face. All I could make out of him, or her, were those big round blue eyes. A blue that reminded me of the rivers that flowed gracefully near my town. The same water that landed on a larger lake or river, and… perhaps, on the same sea.

"Hey, Eren-" I heard someone yell. From the tone of their voice I thought I distinguish Jean's annoyance.

I didn't have a second to reflect on what I was doing and before I could blink, a plate full of food was flying in the direction of the two boys, impacting on the wooden wall and scattering the pieces of vegetables on the floor and the people who unfortunately was close.

The two boys turned to see where the plate had come from, finding my hand half raised and smeared on the thumb of the cold soup. My body was euphoric, my breath hitched and my chest rose and fell quickly.

"You ... you don't know shit about me, or my family, or my people" I started slowly what would be the best speech I would have given in my 13 years, a speech that would bring me problems, as well as friends. “I’m so sorry about your mother, but in the same way, she was devoured by an enemy of which we still do not know exactly"

I came around the table and approached the brunette, meeting his friend halfway through. Without stopping, I hit her shoulder with mine, pushing my way over her.

"While mine was shot by the people who had to protect her" now my body was a few inches from him, taking Jean away from his side "my mother was killed for the simple fact of wanting to see the sea"

His blond friend, who hadn't been separated from him at any time, widened his eyes, even more than the person who bent down to comfort me. His eyes stared at me in amazement before turning to understanding and sadness.

"Judging by your friend's expression, he understand what I'm talking about" There was little space for me to move calmly, so I chose to get closer and closer to Eren, keeping my face a few inches from his. Even with the slight difference in height, I could manage to have an aura of warning and seriousness.

I raised my hand to his forehead slowly, preventing the girl from earlier from pouncing on me thinking I was going to hit him.

"The military police took her out of my house, placed her to the center of the village and with a pistol in the middle of her forehead" I closed my hand except for two fingers, simulating the muzzle of the rifle, and placed them in the same place as they did it with my mother "they shot her in front of her little child"

I detached my fingers from his forehead and with a "bang" I simulated the same shot that, to this day, continues to haunt me in dreams, after 6 years. My eyes observed his expression, the color had disappeared from his face, he was so pale that it seemed he was going to faint at any moment. There was no longer a trace of his anger towards me or towards the titans; An immature child had been left in front of me, from whom they had taken food for not knowing how to appreciate it.

I walked away carefully, noticing the trembling in my body, in my legs, and took small steps towards the door, leaving everyone who wanted to give me their condolences and emotional support behind.

"You are lucky that your mother was eaten by a spice stranger to her, mine didn’t have the same fate"

*** Weeks passed from that terrible night. The golden trio hadn't deigned to approach me, and for my part I longed for it to stay that way for the next three years. I didn't want people like Eren or his friends to get involved with me, I preferred the company of people like Sasha and Marco, Jean and Connie, as empty-headed as they were. I preferred to spend my free afternoons practicing archery, preventing some stupid from passing through the shooting range or next to the bullseye from getting a head shot.

"Here, I fixed your glove, now you are supposed to be able to put your thumb in without it opening" Marco had his hand extended, grabbing a leather glove, which I’d found in the storage bag of the training set.

The leaders had been very understanding when explaining the training I wanted to follow as free time. Although no faction was going to need a bow and arrow for sure, due to its inefficiency, I had given my point of view that it would end up being useful if an expedition needed more days than predicted and more food and provisions were needed, a bow was going to be of great help when hunting.

"Thanks Marco, you are an angel in this place" I proceeded to put on the worn glove and test its elasticity with the arrow and the bowstring.

"See you at night" and with that, the freckled man marked himself towards the canteen, greeting Jean in the distance who was waiting for him at the door.

The shooting area was not far from the entire training ground, close enough to observe everyone who came and went on the field, everyone who wandered without any direction or aim, and everyone who wanted to train. As well as being close enough to the training area with the movement equipment, equipment that was being used a lot recently by many colleagues in need of balance. One of them turning out to be the annoying brunette with bright green eyes, who was walking very dangerously with his friends on the target at the time I was about to release the arrow.

The small deadly weapon shot out and ended up hitting the red dot in the middle, grazing Eren's neck. He put a hand on his skin and when he saw the arrow stuck on the straw object he turned to look at me angrily.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? That almost hit me in the neck "

"If you saw where you walking you would realize you’re in the shooting zone, if an arrow hits you it’s not my fault" I yelled at him from a distance, preparing a new arrow to launch.

When I saw him take a couple of steps towards me, I stretched the arrow back as a warning, I wasn’t going to laid on a rose’s field while he went back to being a fucking asshole. Armin, I knew his name in these weeks when listening to a conversation he’d with another person, he grabbed his arm while Mikasa put herself as a shield. They both took him away from the target and I was able to shoot the arrow without taking my eyes off them.

I followed them until they positioned themselves on one of the balancing machines, helping Eren onto the equipment. I was about to accommodate a third arrow when I heard a scream coming from his direction. My head spun at the same speed an owl would, given countless hours of practice in the woods, and I watched the last second of Eren's fall, watching in broad daylight as his head hit the stone floor. The blow could be heard from a distance, even where I was located I could hear it as if it’s next to me.

Seeing him lying swaying on the floor, half hanging from the equipment made me burst out laughing. I couldn't stop the laughter from coming out of my mouth seeing him in such bad shape. He was going to have a safe bump and maybe some neurons would end up rearranged. My laughter didn’t go unnoticed, the commander Sheith passed on his way to the shooting area and stood in front of me, looking at me with that serious, expressionless gaze.

"Cadet (Y/S)!" I settled myself as best I could, putting the bow to one side and the arrow on the back sleeve before standing firmly "help young Jaeger heal his wound"

I was puzzled and my face reflected it.

"But, sir, why me?" I begged with my words to let me go, or at least give me a couple of hours of punishment, whatever it was before starting a conversation with that selfish man, much less heal his wound.

"Are you arguing with me, cadet?"

Every movement or prayer that I could make to try to accomplish my task vanished like a leaf in the wind. I lowered my head, avoiding his frivolous gaze and waited for him to leave, snorting. I reluctantly put down the bow and arrow sleeve next to a target and headed towards the three of them, Armin and Mikasa were trying to lift Eren off the floor as they took the equipment off his hips.

"Come on, I have to heal your wound" I didn’t stop to greet them, or to explain the situation. In the same way that I approached, I went towards the canteen, without looking back.

On the short drive I overheard Armin asking about my rare kindness, to which I replied dryly that if it weren't for the commander, I'd be breaking my asshole on the floor by laughing. We walked and walked, me in front and the other two physically stable, keeping the dark-haired boy as best they could, lifting his head so that he wouldn't hit himself again. Upon reaching the canteen stairs I yelled "Sasha, I need a bucket of cold water and a washcloth!"

I opened the door for them and pointed to a table near the kitchen door so they could seat Eren. I warned them to keep his head steady, to keep him from going forward or backward, and to keep him awake at all times.

"I didn't know you knew so much about medicine" Armin pointed out when Sasha came out with the bucket of water and a cloth floating in it.

I let out a slight "hmm" before positioning myself behind Eren, squeezing the hands of the other two and allowing them to let me do my job. I ran his hair back, trying to locate the wound and notice any cuts. Finding none, I proceeded to feel the area, finding the slight bump on the upper side of the forehead. I down the cloth in the cold water, letting it soak, and placed it on his head. The water was so, so cold, it had even made me shivered, but for some reason, Eren didn't seem to be fazed at all.

I didn’t give it much importance and I passed the cloth over the bump, waiting a few seconds for it to deflate a little before going through the sides, preventing the area from becoming inflamed as well. I soaked the cloth again and laid it on the side of his forehead, indicating to Armin to press down and not move his hand while I looked for a handkerchief or some bandage to cover the blow. In the same way, I explained to Mikasa to keep watching Eren, to talk to him, even if he wasn't waiting for an answer, to keep him awake for fear of having an accident in his brain.

I found what looked like a used bandage, quite disgusting for my taste, but I wasn’t going to take much longer of my time for "patient" who didn’t deserve my treatises. I stretched the bandage as far as I could over his head, giving it two full turns before pinning it around the back of his head.

"Try to find a better bandage for the blow" I washed my hands with cold water, hoping to get rid of all the irritation the situation had caused.

"Thank you" Armin sounded really grateful, with a hint of ... sympathy perhaps? With my hands clean, I grabbed the bucket and started to put it back in the kitchen when the blonde asked me again "where did you learn all this?"

I sighed not once, but twice, the kitchen door was open and I was about to enter when I threw a look over my shoulder "everything I know, I learned from my mother's books"

And with that I closed the door behind me a second time to the golden trio.

***

Year 850, a beautiful spring night.

The night before our graduation. A hectic night. Between the well-deserved nutritious food, meat and bread that we have longed for the past three years, and the shouts of encouragement for each of us who were present that night, a great party was put together. Many people defected and others didn’t have the ability to move on. Many were frustrated when they fell short of the top ten, fearing they would be sent to the survey corps, others claimingthey had contacts in the military police and had an assured position. Others fought for their point of view before such faction; and with others I mean the same suicidal brunette. Eren, finishing 5th out of the top ten, undoubtedly deigned to throw me in my face.

"Three years and I'm still better than you, your little village tactics were useless" he smiled wickedly and his eyes showed that characteristic glow when he won a fight. Although there wasn’t a fight here, therefore, there was nothing to be gained.

"Congratulations Eren" I turned around without waiting for an answer and walked briskly towards Marco and Jean, they were both heading towards the boys cabin and I followed them to the entrance, leaving a fuzzy Eren behind.

Now, tonight, with the years of training in the past, it was time to rest, have a night of peace before the real deal began. I never thought it would arrive the next morning.

From my position, far from the main entrance to the Trost district, a thunder crashed into the ground, followed by hot smoke covering our feet. The famous colossal titan stood imposing on the side of the wall, watching my companions who were a few meters from him. From where I was standing, I could see his arm rise and run the guns and the others, burning and blinding them with its smoke.

An calvary that started very early and had no intention of ending soon. Death and dismemberment in every corner, blood flying through the air, comrades being eaten. At each step we take, each turn a building took to dodge a Titan or go after one to kill it, a comrade fell in battle; with each step I took, it was one step closer to my own death. But, call it a miracle, call it divine grace, or simple luck, I managed to reach a roof of one of the many houses destroyed by the attack. From the roof, I could see the disaster more clearly, and I could examine my own disaster with great concern.

The pants were torn in the knee area, the tips of my boots brushed my bare skin and apparently bruised from some friction. I had a blood stain in the abdomen area, apparently from a person who was eaten near me and I didn’t have the dignity to see it. I didn’t have the strength or the courage to unbutton my shirt to see the disaster that surely my body had taken in the hours we were surviving in the city. I had enough of the bruises and cuts on my hands and cheeks thanks to some small rocks flying through the air from the impacts; I didn't need to see if my ribs were in place.

In the distance, perhaps three, four houses in from where I was, were a few comrades sitting on the rooftops of another house. It seemed a few had survived and came together to rest, there weren't many titans in sight and the few there were were wandering around without looking around. Those idiots gave me the chance to jump houses, without looking down. If I looked down I would’ve see the cobblestone streets stained red, I would’ve see limbs scattered right and left. I had a goal in mind and I wasn’t going to lose focus on the death around us.

I landed on the fireplace, hitting both knees when landing, I was running out of gas and it showed. The movement wasn’t being so fluid anymore. I scrambled down the stone wall of the fireplace, landing right next to Armin. My movement gear hit his, jerking my hips and torso on impact, nearly knocking me off the roof. Armin didn't flinch, he was just looking at the tiles, but given his expression, I think he wasn't looking at anything at all. He was just preparing to stare and lose himself in the terrors of his mind.

"Armin, what happened? Ar you alright?" stupid questions. Obviously he wasn’t alright, it was reflected in his empty and dark eyes, but my mind couldn’t process correctly.

It was in automatic mode, only thinking about survival, not the correct questions for each of those who were spread out on two rooftops. Of the many who had graduated, we were reduced to two dozen, maybe a little more without counting those who were in that huge building with the gas parts. Others may have taken refuge in a house, waiting for the right moment to move and reach us. But there was little hope, even if I didn’t say it out loud, unconsciously I knew there wasn’t much to do with the people who were not among us, because after all that was exactly what was happening ... they were not with us, they weren’t in the land of the living.

How pessimistic my thinking, right? I wasn’t wrong at all.

"Armin, where is Eren?" want to know the worst?, I already knew the answer before Armin could lift his head and scream the terrible news with his lungs.

In the end, the boy who so wanted to fight the world, succumbed to the terrors of him.

But what had impacted the most was that, minutes after hearing that news, minutes after arriving at the building for gas supplements and saving the comrades who had barricaded themselves, minutes after being saved by that fighting titan, we saw the same Eren, the same brunet with bright green eyes, appear. Alive.

The surprise we all get when we see him emerge from the nape of that eccentric titan. He was fine, his skin pink and hot from the smoke of the decaying body from his titan. His titan? There was no time to understand the situation. If that, how to understand it? We saw him resurface, like a phoenix, among the ashes of a dying body, fully alive. He had all of his limbs, even the ones that had been eaten; I could see the limits of his pants and the sleeve of his shirt torn, with perfect and huge bite marks.

I stood to the side watching the scene, Armin and Mikasa crying uncontrollably when they saw his heart beat. Scientifically and medically that was impossible. Technically speaking, nothing we were witnessing was possible; And yet there was the suicidal bastard, breathing normally. His eyes closed, his lashes drooping over his lids and his hands being held by his childhood friends. Jean couldn't believe the scene before his eyes, even the other trio was hesitant to say anything, with serious faces and completely stiff eyes at Eren. Each and every one of the reactions present entered what would be a normal reaction, missing one who wanted to kill him immediately.

And I think I rushed a couple of minutes.

***

Days after the expedition to the giant tree forest.

With Annie crystallized and guarded underground, a bit of tranquility arose within the walls; a calm that only attributed to the survey corps. Citizens panicked, not understanding, not comprehending even ten percent of what the latest information was being advertised in newspapers and billboards. The general did everything possible to give us time to resupply and rest from such a hard fight. The patrol had been divided in two, and I had remained as Jean's auxiliary escort, the poor man wanted to vomit all the trip when he had to suffer the terrible order of disguising himself as Eren.

And when the time for action came, we were both prepared to assist Eren in his titan form. I wasn’t still used to seeing him at a height of more than 15 meters, but his characteristics were still there: eyes, now huge, green and shiny, as if that shine never went away, no matter how violent or dark the situation turned upside down, and his dark haired, he looked silkier and smoother in this way that the originally he modeled.

Now we where here, Armin, Mikasa, Jean and I watching him and examining his vital signs. He had fallen into a coma for the second time. I couldn't blame him, I guess controlling a titan of that caliber used up a lot of physical energy, let alone the psychological, but to be honest… mental health had already leaked out the window.Each of us were standing in a corner of the room, sometimes Armin wandered between the door and the window, sitting close to his friend on the bed when he couldn't take it anymore from the anguish. Mikasa always sat next to him, holding his hand at all times, faithfully waiting for him to open his eyes. For my part, I was watching the sun set outside the window, as the sunset gave us its warm rays and prepared us for the cold night.

Every once in a while, whenever I heard a snort or movement coming from the bed, I would turn my head and come closer to feel his breathing. He was stable, and showed no signs of any disturbance. He was completely healthy, except that he was absolutely tired. Like all of us.

There was a couple of knocks on the door, pulling all of us out of trance. Jean and Armin were being needed to give testimony in front a small assembly, before the leaders continued speaking with Commander Erwin.

Silence reigned in the room. Mikasa was still willing to maintain her position in the chair, even if the sleep weakened her with each passing minute. I could see how her eyes were closing and her head fell from fatigue, it was obvious that she needed some rest. I put my hand on her shoulder, pulling the scarf out of her hands and trying to lift her up at the same time.

"Come on, you're very tired, you must get some sleep" I led her to a sofa that was doubtfully placed on the other side of the room. Normally our rooms were only furnished with a couple of beds, a desk and a closet, ah... and a paltry window. We couldn't bother with expensive decorations or furniture like a sofa. Above all, when we didn’t receive a decent salary.

"But Eren ..." I laid her on the few cushions, not very comfortable, brown and beige, that matched the small room. When her head touched the doubtful softness of the pillows her eyes closed completely and her breathing became calm, it was a matter of seconds before she fell completely asleep.

"I'm going to take care of him, you rest" I adjusted her hair before noticing she had entered the realm of dreams. Apparently my words were enough to give her that peace of mind to go to sleep.

I knelt to remove her boots and set her feet on the lap of the sofa. Notice her legs stained with dirt, I'd bet she'd have a couple of bruises around her knees and ankles, maybe even her feet. My body was moving heavily as I searched for a blanket among the few scraps of cloth lying in the closet. In the end, I ended up finding one a bit small for her body, but it perfectly covered her torso and stomach, that way she wouldn't take cold while she was in her defenseless state.

I wanted to look out the window again, but there was nothing to observe that I hadn’t seen before, a sad and dull orange sky. I settled into the chair, feeling that I was usurping Mikasa's place for some strange reason, and I kept analyzing the young man lying on the bed. His hair was matted and a bit dirty, a shower every now and then wouldn't hurt, although he smelled conveniently well, like freshly cut wood or dry grass. A scent that, while I was destined to smell more than necessary thanks to the expeditions, I felt no discomfort smelling it on Eren. It fit him very well indeed. I might even get used to being around him if it meant smelling such a sweet scent.

Seconds that seemed like minutes, and minutes that seemed like hours. Time seemed to play against me and I felt like my body began to weigh me more and more, and more, until I fell forward and lay my face on the hard mattress and the soft fabric of the sheet. Second-rate cotton, if you would let me say so, but it did the job. It was comfortable, too comfortable, enough to let me rest for a moment and close my eyes, making time flow more quickly.

I felt a hand gently rest on my head, moving and caressing me with a tenderness I hadn't felt in years. I opened my eyes immediately expecting to find my father in front of my eyes, but instead, I spotted a still asleep Eren, scratching himself and trying to wipe the sleep out of his eyes.

I pulled his hand out of my head quickly, but without being rude, and laid them on the bed. I rubbed my eyes and gave him a half smile "Good morning sleeping beauty"

It took a few seconds for his eyes to get used to the little light that filtered through the window and when they opened they surveyed the entire room, still drowsy.

"Where is Mikasa? Armin? " he coughed after feeling a little hawking in his throat.

I stretched out on the chair, accommodating the bones of my back and immediately moved to the side, letting him see a sleeping Mikasa, comfortable and warm under a blanket. Eren inspected her, perhaps trying to find any signs of injury or complaints, but finding none he turned his gaze from her to me.

"Mikasa is asleep" I settled back on the chair, this time stretching forward a bit and resting my elbows on the bed, holding my head on my hands "Armin and Jean had to go to give their testimony for the paperwork"

Ere didn't say anything, he just nodded and gave me a brief "hmm" before looking out the window. "How do you feel?" was the last thing I said before the room fell silent again and neither he nor I deigned to say anything else.

Years of hating each other weren't going to go away, just like that. It was going to be a long road now that we were in a much worse mess than when we were 13 years old. But at least, we could talk to each other without the need to jump on each other's jugular, that's progress, right?

***

Why couldn't this bastard have a little sense of preserving of his life? Why wasn't he a little more careful, and since we are, a little more common sense? Why couldn't he stay calm for a few seconds, analyze the situation and act according to his surroundings?

Now we had to do a search party to find the damned "last hope of mankind". Galloping as fast as the horses would allow us, avoiding on all sides dozens of titans, even when one fell, five more came out. It was an order that had become more and more dangerous. And to make matters worse, having to be behind two of the most dangerous titans we could have encountered was a suicide mission and most of us knew it. We were giving it our all for an idiot, who I don't think he knew the value of the lives that were being lost in battle.

Sighted in the distance, ranks breaking and each one trying to survive while we tried to have enough time to rescue him from the armored titan, large numbers of soldiers were being eaten or crushed. You know the terror I had in my eyes to see Captain Erwin being bitten on the arm and dragged towards God knows where? If a great man like him could be defeated so easily in the blink of an eye, what was in store for us? What was in store for me?

I kept galloping, begging Phillip to keep going as fast as he could, that he never stop and be careful of everything in his path. I was so scared that I didn't know exactly to who I was saying it, the horse or myself. For sure, I knew the horse wouldn’t understand me perfectly, but he was the only thing that I could grab to at that moment, the only one that could save me.

Both left and right, titans ran everywhere, the boys had managed to reach the battleship while the others did what they could to give them time, seeing Ymir was also a sight worthy of admiration if it wasn’t because I was givind my life at this moment. And surely she was helping the blonde of "girlfriend" instead of us.

In that sway between giant bodies and tiny soldiers, the ground rumbled, the earth fell away, even trees fell at our feet. When trying to reach Mikasa before she fell, a titan came out of nowhere in front of me, trying to dodge it would be a feat, especially when he had his immense mouth pointing almost completely in my direction. I will never be able to thank the soldier who cut his neck, for seconds later to be grabbed by another titan and break his spine in such a grip. With the body decomposing and the other titan out of focus, I was able to move on, circling the smoking mass, ready to support Mikasa when another mass fell very close to me, causing the horse to jump from the force of the impact. In that second of distraction I turned my head to look at what had fallen, the ground began to crack under Phillip's legs and it only took a footfall from the armor titan to completely break apart and pieces of earth and stone came out, shotting everywhere.

As I turned my head back forward, I saw clearly how a stone flew directly towards my head. Call it reflections, call it having a guardian angel on my shoulders, but I was able to move my head in time, causing the stone to impact the gap between my shoulder and neck. I shot backward, hitting my head against the hard ground. I felt my shoulder dislocate and I noticed how by leaps and bounds the shirt, previously white, was staining with blood, as well as the jacket and the floor. My head was probably bleeding from the back as well, but the pain in my shoulder kept me from focusing on anything else. It was impossible to move it, I tried to scream for help, but my words stuck in my throat, and even if I had been able to scream, it would have been overshadowed by the hundreds more screams that were begging for help. The grass around me felt a bit comforting, like a cold hug in the last minutes of life. Body pain prevented me from reacting to the sight of a five-meter titan approaching where I was lying. Tears began to flow, falling down my cheeks; I wanted to scream, say my last goodbye, but I was so petrified that I just closed my eyes.

If I was going to die, I would rather die without seeing the horrible face of that damned titan. I preferred to have the image of my family in mind one last time. The ground began to rumble, I thought more titans were going to come for me, that I was going to be smashed into pieces, but the longer it took to feel the huge hand or a pair of teeth, I opened my eyes, finding myself, not a pack of hungry titans, but with the clear evening sky.

I raised my head and to my surprise, a bizarre surprise, all the titans that were chasing us at the time, were now going towards one of the highest. I couldn't understand what was happening, I looked around trying to find someone, to see if someone else was seeing the same thing as me. In the distance I found Armin holding a figure, I couldn't quite see who, trying to breathe normally and stand up. I tried calling out to him, but my vision started to blur and it made me dizzy from trying to lift my head even higher. I brought my hand to my head and confirmed the blood that flowed behind it, I was completely soaked in my own blood and at any moment I would end up fainting if I didn't treat my wounds.

The grinding of a horse brought me back to a state of consciousness, Phillip was back next to me and he lowered his head towards my good shoulder, pushing it up and lifting me little by little. Standing back on both feet, I leaned on his stomach and in an attempt to walk towards Armin I heard Eren's terrified scream in the distance.

Both he and Mikasa were looking at the scene without understanding anything at all, and what bothered me the most was that those stupid were still sitting on the ground, without any intention of moving. As I could, I got on the horse's lap, lying on my stomach, both arms hanging at the side, and I told him to run as fast as possible towards the two figures in the most dangerous area that could be at that moment.

"Stop looking and start moving!" I yelled at them a few feet away. They both turned their heads in my direction, wanting to say something, but only managed to gasp a few times before I arrived.

I grabbed the collar of Eren's shirt and with what little strength I had left, I lifted him off the ground "NO TIME TO TALK, LET'S GO"

Seeing Mikasa being picked up by Eren and placed on his back, I indicated to Phillip to leave the area, to try to get to safety, along with the other soldiers. At our side ran the couple of stupid who almost devoured, wondering what had happened. Their words sounded more and more distant and the ride put me in a calm trance until I was unconscious.

***

Year 851, a beautiful summer day to go horseback riding without the hassle of a titan in the area. At the same time, a beautiful day to visit the forgotten and destroyed towns.

We took our time, observing the landscape. Trees that had fallen and left their tracks on the ground and on the trunk were beginning to show traces of vegetation in their wood. The grass crushed by large feet was beginning to heal and new shoots were coming to the surface, some flower buds could also be seen. The few stone paths were smashed, small cobblestones were smashed, and there was no possibility of repair unless they were remade. Today was the day; the day it was my village's turn to be toured. We leave early to the northwest, guiding us along the river, me in the lead. The night before I hadn’t been able to sleep, to close an eye, I was nervous, very nervous, I couldn’t even eat anything for breakfast. After four years, I returned to my home, or what was left of it.

Endless nights I dreamed of returning to my small village, touring the oldest houses and greeting its inhabitants, seeing the children run, now older, and helping them take an apple from the market. I dreamed of reassembling one of our horses, of stroking and caressing them, earning me one, perhaps two licks to the face. But what I most dreamed of was to see my father's face again, to see his eyes full of dark circles and sadness at having lost his wife, the woman he loved the most in the whole world; I wanted to hold hid hands again, see them splintered after carving a piece of wood and turning it into a beautiful work of art. I wanted to lie down by the communal fire, hear stories from the elderly, shameful stories, and love stories. I wanted to be able to repeat my childhood years, to see my mother one last time, to be able to say goodbye properly.

I wished my village had been intact, but at the entrance my heart shattered. There were no standing houses in sight, all had sagging roofs, broken windows, and dried blood marks from years painting the walls.

I got off the horse looking at the damage and I was leading him forward by the mooring. Slowly, being careful not to trip over any stone, I entered the town more and more, seeing the withered flowers and their dried petals lying on the floor. Children's cloth toys, a odd wooden horse broken in half. Some walls were burned, others full of holes, the clothes hanging outside the houses torn into pieces, the stable reduced to nothing. The center, where the market normally took place, full of rubble and garbage, on the left a path of dried blood, on the right as well. I approached a stall that had not been completed, a fruit and vegetable stall, now reduced to nothingness itself. I picked up the chunk of splintered wood and found underneath what scared me the most. An arm.

I didn't know who it was exactly, the clothes were almost the same for everyone, but I assumed it was a man's; It was in the process of decomposition, pieces of meat were half detached. Beside him, a porcelain doll broken on its head, its brown curls discarded, and only dirt and fiber remained. I picked it up with both hands and kept walking in the direction… in which direction? I couldn’t tell. Only my body was on autopilot looking around me for a sign, the slightest hope that someone had survived. But one look at the stables from the beginning was the only thing that put my hopes in the trash: there were pieces of horses lying all over the ground. Not even our pride had survived. My feet stopped walking, dragging on the ground, and stopped in front of the house that saddened me the most. Mine.

Of all, this was the one in the best condition, part of the roof had fallen to the side, not on the house, and a hole led directly to the living room. The walls were completely burned, not from the destruction of a horde of titans, no. Those burns were from years before, produced by the military police. Seeing that wreck brought me the vile memory of the day of her execution. The people were scared, they implored not to kill her, but those brutes turned a deaf ear and executed her without mercy. My mother was a very dear woman to everyone and no one denied her dreams of leaving the walls, my father loved her more than anyone ... but that love of his was not enough to save her.

"(Y / N)?" I heard Eren's voice behind me.

His voice echoed in my ears, but I couldn't fully register it, I was just looking straight ahead, towards the hole in my house, looking from the outside for fear of entering. "These were the borders of my life"

I took a step forward, then another, and then another, until I collided with the first stones of the house. From that place I could see how the fire from a small oil lamp had fallen on the floor and burned part of my father's favorite armchair. I took another step, fully entering what was left of my old home. I ran my hand over the dry, scratchy fabric, dust had collected over the weeks, maybe years. Given how advanced the bloodstains were, I couldn't exactly calculate the time that had elapsed. In front of the chair was still a small desk full of sheets, most of them ruined by rubble, but some survived. Some of these had broken tips, other were left with black spots, and others were flawless, as if they had been made yesterday. Beautiful drawings of people, others of nature, others of birds or city buildings.

I kept looking for more sheets, running those that were hopelessly damaged, and under my foot I came across a paper somewhat harder and thicker than the others, even framed. The glass was broken but it revealed perfectly a small family, a man, his wife and their child. "In this dusty and destroy little house, where an artist love his wife"

I took the drawing with me, holding it tight with both hands, until I reached the only standing door in the house. The door leading to the master bedroom. I stood there for a couple of seconds, wondering if it was right for my sanity, if it was right for my conscience to open it up and find whatever was on the other side. I inhaled and exhaled a couple of times before sliding the door open. Next to the bed, on the side where my mother used to sleep, was my father's top. I wasn't brave enough to turn around and see his face. I closed my eyes when I saw the scene and left what was left of the facade with my head lowered. "The house of my childhood is gone"

***

A couple of days after hitting the ocean.

We had settled next to the shore. Jean, Sasha and Connie were playing with the small waves that were breaking in the sand, Armin was inspecting small seashells and Mikasa was dedicated to dipping her feet in the cold water. We had made a small fire to cover ourselves from the cold of the coming night. Eren and I were in front of that same fire. He watched as the small sparks flew over the small sea of ​​flames until they exploded and died in the blink of an eye. Some fell into the sand before exploding, others continued to rise until they rose higher and became part of the beginning of the starry sky.

My feet were barefoot in the sand, letting the little grains get between my toes and tickle every time I twisted them. I dropped my head on Eren's shoulder, giving me the chance to close my eyes and reopen them after a few seconds, admiring the sea towards the horizon.

After so many calamities, after so many deaths and losses, a moment of quiet was more than necessary. Maybe being this close to the bright green-eyed brunette wasn't so bad after all.

I could get used to this.

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[dreaming-about-fanfictions]

Choose Me Instead II Draco Malfoy x Reader II Chapter 18 of 27: Revelations

Summary: Pretending to be in a relationship with Draco Malfoy to get back at your ex might have not been the smartest idea you ever had. Especially during your last year of Hogwarts where you should be focusing on exams and your future plans. However, you were just pretending. There was no way in hell you could actually catch feelings for someone like Malfoy. … Right?

CHOOSE ME INSTEAD MASTERLIST CHOOSE ME INSTEAD PLAYLIST

A/N: So many people said that they suspect drama is about to happen at the Winter Dance. lol, you all know me too well. Thank you for all the support, my loves <33

Words: 4.5k Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!Reader, post war Warnings: mention of eating disorders, swearing

 You saw him first.

 He stood at the end of the stairs, next to Theodore Nott. The Slytherins were laughing about a joke that got drowned out in the chatter of the other students. Still, the scene unfolding in front of you tugged at your heartstrings. Nott looked up and when he saw you, he nudged Draco with his elbow and a smirk on his face.

You came down alone, nervously lifting your dress with one hand, trying not to stumble and fall. Draco turned his head and the smile on his lips warmed your heart. At the end of the stairs, he extended his arm and you took his hand. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on it – such an old-school, traditional thing to do. Something you would have rolled your eyes at just a few months ago.

“You look …”, he began but closed his mouth.

You looked at him and wondered if he liked your dress. (And also wondered why the hell you cared about that.)

“Stunning, beautiful, gorgeous,” Nott said when Draco remained silent. “All of them are words you could describe your girlfriend with, Draco.”

You chuckled and Nott took a step forward to greet you, placing a kiss on your cheek. You were surprised by the sudden friendliness. Nott had always been more on the quiet side, hardly ever engaging in house rivalries. Yet, he used to be cold and distant to non-Slytherins. So this gesture was definitely startling.

“What he said,” Draco smirked at you. “You’re beautiful.”

“Well, you don’t look too bad yourself,” you admitted, reaching forward to touch the bow tie around his neck. “Who’s your date then, Nott?”, you asked the other Slytherin.

“Theo.”

“Hm?”

“Theo,” he repeated himself. “You’ve been dating for how long now? Call me Theo.”

“Okay,” you replied, even more surprised now. Had you made it into the inner circle of the Slytherins? Did they accept you already? “Y/N.”

“There she is,” Theo nodded in the direction of the stairs. “Have fun, see you later.” And with that, he left the two of you. You followed him with your eyes; how he walked up the stairs towards a girl with a smile that lit up the whole room. She wore a green velvet dress that complimented her dark skin beautifully. Theo kissed her on the cheek and said something that made her laugh. You recognized her – she was a year below you. And she was a Hufflepuff. And …

“She’s a half-blood,” you stated without taking your eyes off the couple.

Draco snorted. “Seriously?”

“Yes,” you nodded, still in awe at the simple fact that someone like Theodore Nott would even see girls who weren’t purebloods.

“Why does he always copy me?”

You furrowed your brows at the comment and looked over to Draco. “What?”

He shrugged. “I get a non-Slytherin girlfriend and now he tries to do the same.”

“Merlin, Draco,” you rolled your eyes. Yet another thought entered your mind, one that caused nothing but confusion inside of you as you didn’t know what to do with it:

He said ‘girlfriend’. He didn’t put the ‘fake’ in front of it.

 ***

The Winter Dance was everything you had hoped for – and more.

They decorated the Great Hall beautifully. Large chandeliers hung from the ceiling, bathing the room in golden light. Snowflakes danced above your heads, vanishing into thin air mere inches before they would have touched you. There were tables with white and golden linens all around where students could take a break for a moment while getting something to eat and drink from the refilling plates. In the middle of the hall was the dance floor – so far, not many students dared to get on it. It was still too early. You spotted Luna and Neville, laughing and holding hands while jumping up and down.

“Can you consider this a dance?”, you leaned over and asked Draco. He raised an eyebrow in response but couldn’t hide an amused smile.

Soft music came from an invisible source around you. When you saw the small stage behind the dance floor, you wondered if there would be a band performing tonight like at the Yule Ball during the Triwizard Tournament.

“They outdid themselves,” you said.

Draco shrugged.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, come on! You must admit it looks beautiful.”

“You look beautiful, darling,” he replied.

 ***

You don’t know if it had been minutes or hours since you walked in the Great Hall – all you knew was that your hair wasn’t in perfect condition anymore, your feet hurt and you were thirsty. Draco danced like a young god. That didn’t surprise you at all, however, you didn’t expect him to do it so freely.

At some point a band whose name you had never heard before started to play. The songs changed from teacher-approved to faster and louder music. It reminded you so much of the Yule Ball, it physically hurt.

There wasn’t much talking going on between you and Draco that night. Just a lot of laughing and singing and dancing. Happiness rushed through your bodies and in those moments, no one else existed. Only you and him.

That was, however, until your best friend tapped Draco on the shoulder: Astoria Greengrass. The two of you came to an abrupt halt.

“May I have this dance?”, she shouted over the loud music, a smug smile on her lips. The Slytherin looked gorgeous in her green satin dress and those emerald earrings that shone brightly in the light of the chandeliers.

“Astoria,” Draco said, out of breath. “Absolutely not.”

The smile remained plastered on her pretty face. “Just one dance? With your future fiancée?”

You raised your eyebrows at that. Without noticing it, the grip on his hand tightened. The constant reminder of their soon-to-be-made betrothal slowly turned annoying. Draco looked at you and your intertwined hands.

“No,” he repeated himself.

What she did next surprised you: she laughed. A short high-pitched laugh. You flinched. “Draco,” she purred his name, taking a step closer. “Just. One. Dance.”

And then it hit you. Like a tile falling from the roof of the astronomy tower, the realization crashed into you. For the first time in forever, you saw her. You looked beyond the beautiful face and what you saw frightened you. She was thin. So thin that it made you wonder how she could stand upright, let alone walk or dance. Her skin was pale but not a “Slytherins-that-spend-to-much-time-in-the-dungeons”-pale. No, it reminded you of a ghost when you saw the blue veins underneath it as it stretched over her sharp collarbones. Astoria gripped her dress tightly but it didn’t stop her hand from shaking. Dark circles underneath her eyes decorated her face and her lips trembled.

Something was very, very wrong.

“It’s fine, Draco.”

He turned his head quickly and frowned.

“It’s fine,” you said empathetically.

He didn’t understand. Neither did you. But the desperation found in Astoria made you feel … pity for her. Judging by her narrowed eyes, she sensed that as well – and she hated it.

You leaned over to Draco and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Before he could protest further, you left.

 ***

“That band is amazing, how have I never heard of them before?” You dropped onto the chair next to Ginny.

“Because you live behind a rock,” she replied. Strands of red hair hung into her face, her cheeks were red and she stretched her legs in an attempt to relax her muscles. “I haven’t danced that much in years. Everything hurts.”

You groaned in agreement. Letting your eyes wander through the Hall and over your classmates, you spotted Draco and Astoria. They stood together closely and Draco had his hands on her hips. It was a slow song and they moved accordingly, swaying to the music. He didn’t meet her eyes yet you saw how Astoria stared at him, her lips moving.

“Trouble in paradise?”, Ginny asked. She had followed your gaze and watched the two Slytherins with curiosity.

You shook your head. “No.”

“Then why’s he dancing with her?”

“Have you noticed something about Greengrass?”, you wanted to know.

Ginny tilted her head. “Huh.” Then she shrugged. “Not really. I’m not looking at her that often.”

Same, you thought ironically. You had so much contact with her and yet you never noticed anything else behind her strange behavior.

“She’s thin, isn’t she?”, you pondered.

Another shrug. “Aren’t eating disorders something they inherit along with their mansions and fancy clothes?”

Normally, that comment would have made you chuckle. Now, you didn’t react and kept your eyes locked on Greengrass. Ginny watched you awkwardly and was probably very relieved when Harry appeared with two drinks in his hands.

You wondered if Astorias appearance had anything to do with her odd behavior. Then again, you couldn’t really tell if her behavior was strange or not. You hardly ever spoke to her before this school year and had kept a safe distance from the Slytherins. Most of what you knew came from Draco and that wasn’t much. Besides, Draco had been too busy with himself this school year. You were pretty sure that he wouldn’t have noticed if anything was off about her.

A second song came on. Slow again. Greengrass was still talking but this time, she inched even closer. You narrowed your eyes.

“They’re cozy,” Ginny stated nonchalantly and Harry grinned.

That was enough. You rose to your feet swiftly and crossed the room in seconds. “I think I remember something about just one dance?”

Draco took a step back. Astoria copied him. She ignored you, staring at Draco as if she waited for him to say something. His face was blank, he avoided looking at her. The loud music blaring from the stage didn’t hide the heavy tension between them. You shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another.

“Nothing, Draco?”, she finally asked. You barely understood it over the singing students next to you. “You have nothing to say?”

His eyes darted to you. The look in them caused a shiver to run down your spine. You had seen it before. After the evening in his dorm when he came to you again in the Room of Requirements. Guilt.

“Not tonight.” He straightened his back and reached for your hand. You didn’t resist. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Talk about what? About their engagement?

Astoria scoffed. “Well then,” she shot you one last look. “Enjoy your night.”

“Everything alright?”, you asked when she was gone.

Draco pulled you closer and the two of you started swaying to the rhythm of the next song. “Sure.” His eyes travelled over the crowd as if he was looking for someone. Looking for her.

You stopped and let go of his hands. “Don’t.” Your voice was calm but firm. You wouldn’t accept this behavior. You weren’t his mother or Zabini or even Greengrass, where he could just avoid questions and give one-worded lies as answers. “We’re beyond this.”

Draco sighed. You saw it by the way his chest rose. After another brief moment of hesitation, he grabbed your hand and pulled you from the dance area. He walked until the two of you had passed the tables and leaned against a few steps away from the huge wooden door that led outside.

“Is this about your engagement?”, you wanted to know impatiently.

Draco opened his mouth and closed it again. You crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“Kind of,” he admitted. “I can’t say.”

A cold, heavy feeling set in your stomach. “Kind of?”

Draco let out a deep breath and reached for your arms to pull you close again. This time, you resisted. “Yes,” he nodded. “I really can’t say.”

“You can’t or you don’t want to?”

“I can’t,” his tone grew harder at your accusation. You narrowed your eyes.

“Look, Y/N, it’s something that doesn’t concern you. It’s personal for her and I don’t know enough to speak about this to you. She asked me not to.”

“Our arrangement is personal too and I’d like to know if it’s going to end soon,” you shot back. The feeling in your stomach grew heavier when you thought about the word end. It had only just begun. You didn’t want it to end. Not yet, at least.

To your surprise, Draco just snorted. “What we have isn’t going to end anytime soon if I have it my way,” he tried to reassure you. Again, he reached for your arms. Hesitantly, you let him pull you close. “It’s just not my secret to tell.”

You sighed. A part of you had to admit that you understood where he was coming from. If anything, it spoke for his character that he didn’t just blurt out whatever she had told him. “Since when do you care about these things?”

“Slytherin’s honor,” he replied simply and shrugged.

You raised an eyebrow. “What?” The corners of your mouth twitched.

“It doesn’t matter if I like her or not,” he explained. “She told me something and I won’t repeat it to others.”

“Because she’s a Slytherin?”

Draco nodded. “When three out of three other houses hate you, you have to stick together.”

You chuckled and leaned against him. “Makes sense. I don’t think everyone hates you though.”

“There are always exceptions to the rule.”

 ***

Late that night …

“The Weasel is looking at you.”

You chuckled against Draco’s chest. “I guarantee you, he looking at you.”

It was late and only a few of your classmates could still be found in the Great Hall; most of them sixth and seventh graders. Some of the teachers sat together on a table, watching the remaining students.

After the talk with Draco about Greengrass, you had gone back to dance and drink. It’d be lie to say you simply forgot about this even though you were certain that Draco would tell you all about it when the time came. But of course, the nagging feeling didn’t leave you. What could she have told him that was so shocking? What secrets were left in their families that he wasn’t able to look her in the eyes afterwards?

Only when Seamus slipped you one of his famous drinks did you start to relax a little and pushed the thought to the back of your brain. It was the same for Draco even though you saw how his expression would change once he spotted one of the Greengrass sisters. Was Daphne involved?

Involved in what?, you wondered when he twirled you around.

“Hm.”

The sound made you look at the Slytherin. “What is it?”

“I can’t believe it.”

“Believe what?” You followed his gaze. Ron stood a few meters away from you, hands on Hermiones hips. She had her eyes closed as she moved to the slow sounds, unaware of her boyfriend’s preoccupation.

“I still can’t believe you let him-“

“Draco!”, you glared at him.

He shook his head before asking: “Was he any good though?”

You snorted. Was he serious? Judging by the way he waited for an answer, he was. “I had my fun,” you finally said diplomatically.

Again, Draco shook his head. He looked back and forth between you and the Weasley. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with that information.”

“Don’t ask me stuff if you’re not prepared for the answer,” you gave a half shrug.

 ***

The stones felt cold against your back when Draco pressed you up against the wall. The teachers had officially ended the Winter Dance just a few minutes earlier. Not wanting to go to bed early (or rather – go to bed separately), Draco and you snuck outside to the inner courtyard.

There was a storm raging on tonight. It rained heavily, the drops clattering against the ancient walls and the air was chilly. The two of you didn’t notice any of it. All you felt was his body against yours and his hands on your hips. He kissed you, deep and slow, with a longing that you blamed on the alcohol from Seamus. You buried your hands in his hair, chuckling as he playfully bit on your lower lip.

“Hey lovebirds! Get a room already!”, the interruption broke your kiss.

Draco cursed under his breath and turned his head, ready to tell them to leave you two alone. The words got stuck in his throat when he saw who it was.

Ron and Hermione looked at you, accompanied by Harry and Ginny. Rons stare reminded you of the one you got on your face when Moaning Myrtle would overflow the toilets again – utterly disgusted. Hermione squeezed his hand, a mixture of annoyance and nervousness written over her face. Ginny looked the same and Harry just seemed deeply confused.

“Oh for fucks sake!”, Ron exclaimed dramatically when he recognized Draco.

“Ignore him,” you said and held onto his arms. “He’s not worth it.” Despite the loud noises of the rain, the Redhead heard you.

“Yeah, listen to your girlfriend, Malfoy!”

Draco’s eyes narrowed.

“Ron, please,” Hermione chimed in, now more annoyed than nervous. “Let’s go inside. It’s late.”

“Yes, why don’t you just piss off, Weasel?”, Draco scoffed.

“Or what?”, Ron spat. “You tell your father?”

You rolled your eyes but Draco was quick to answer: “No, I’ll make just sure you’ll end up in the same place as him.”

“Ron, let’s go,” Hermione insisted.

He ignored her. “Oooooh, now you really scared me, Malfoy!”

“Draco, come on.” You sensed that this would end badly if no one would step in. Your eyes flickered to the door leading inside the castle, unsure whether you wanted a teacher to come out now or not.

“Ron, we’re leaving!”

Harry and Ginny glanced at each other. They had taken a few steps back and you saw how Harry opened his mouth. Ginny hissed something and he closed it again.

“No, we’re not done here.”

Your eyes darted back to Ron at his sentence. “Not done with what, Ron?”, you barked. “Just fucking go back inside. There’s really no need for this.”

He stared at Draco. The Slytherin straightened his back and his posture told Ron without any words what he thought of him. I’m better than you, it screamed. Arrogance dripped out of his every pore. You were taken aback by it – not having seen this side of him for a long time now. You had almost forgotten it was still there.

A sense of dread washed over you when you realized: Something’s about to happen.

Suddenly, a smug expression appeared on his face. Oh-oh.

“What?”, Ron spat out when he saw it.

“Nothing,” Draco replied but the smirk stayed.

“No, you arrogant prick! Spit it out!”

“It’s just hilarious how obsessed you are with her. Still.”

Lightning struck and your blood froze. Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Draco, don’t!”, you hissed.

From the corner of your eye you saw how Hermione frowned.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ron still sounded firm but he grew pale. You were sure that Hermione noticed it as well.

“Sure,” Draco leaned against the wall next to you.

“I don’t know what she told you but –”

Anger. The feeling that began to boil up inside of you was exactly that – the anger you had swallowed down for months now. The rage, Draco had managed to calm down at least for a few weeks. He had made you forget it was even there, turning the memory of Ron and your last summer into a distant dream. Something so insignificant to you, it made the flies living in the Forbidden Forest seem more important.

Now, it was back. Right when you realized that the coward wanted to lie about you and him again.

“That sentence better not ends with ‘it’s not true’,” you blurted out. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

“Wait, wait, what’s this about?” Hermione took a step back. Deep lines decorated her forehead as her eyes darted back and forth between you and Ron.

Her boyfriend turned to her, wanting to reach out but she wouldn’t have it. She was now outside the shelter from the roof and raindrops landed on her pretty red dress. “Nothing, Mione,” Ron said. “I don’t know what they’re talking about.”

You scoffed.

“Just help me understand one thing, Weasel,” Draco – falsely encouraged by your reaction – began again.

“Draco, don’t!”

“Is this about the fact that she’s with me now or because you’re still in love with her?”

Lightning struck again.

“Draco!”, you gasped and so did Hermione.

“Okay, shut the fuck up now, Malfoy!”, Harry finally chimed in. “Let’s go!”

“No, no no,” Hermione muttered. You hardly understood her over the storm. “Wait, I don’t get it.” She raised her hands. “Ron, what’s going on?”

“Hermione …”, you began and even Ginny, who had been quite until now, started talking. More voices mixed in together – Harry and Draco cursing at each other, Ron trying to get Hermione to listen to him.

“QUIET!”

Silence. Immediate silence followed her scream. Hermione took a deep breath. “Quiet now!”, she repeated herself. “Everyone, please.” She turned to Ron, her voice surprisingly calm and collected again: “You’ve been acting weird around Y/N for months now. Don’t think I didn’t notice. What’s going on?”

More silence.

“Ron.”

“I … we …”, he stammered. Your heart sunk.

“Oh god,” the muggle expression slipped out of her mouth. Tears began to form in her eyes.

“Mione …”, Ron began.

“You weren’t together,” you quickly said, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference now. Yet, you had to try. “It happened over the summer when you were … on a break. He ended it because he loves you and wanted to get back with you.”

Ron nodded violently. “Yes, yes, Mione, I love you so much!”

“You lied to me for so many months? Both of you?” The look of betrayal in her eyes broke you.

There it was. The lie you had carried with you for months now. It was all out in the open. You had often wondered if the guilt would vanish once the truth would be out. Now you found out that it didn’t. No, in fact it felt even worse. You lied to your best friend, a person who’d take an Unforgivable Curse for you.

And it wasn’t the only lie you told her.

“I’m so sorry …”, you whispered.

“She didn’t want to unnecessarily hurt you! That’s why she didn’t say anything! It meant nothing!”, Ginny suddenly said. Harry’s eyes widened.

“You knew?”, Hermione croaked.

Ginny opened her mouth, then closed it again and looked down to her feet.

“Oh god, oh god …”

“Mione …”, Ron took a step towards her into the rain and wanted to grab her hand.

“No, I … no,” she shook her head, not looking at any of you. “I need … I need space.” She pushed his hands away and turned around. Hermione hurried back inside, almost tripping about her dress twice.

“Mione …”, Ron cried after her.

“Don’t.” That was Harry. “Give her some time.”

For a while, no one said anything. An awkward silence settled between the five of you. Finally, Ron cursed and left as well.

“Why was I the only one who didn’t know about this?”, Harry looked at Ginny.

“Because you’re oblivious to everything and everyone around you,” she replied.

He raised his eyebrows, knowing she was probably right. “Not cool though, guys. Not cool.”

Ginny sighed and turned to you. “You have to fix this.”

You nodded. “I know.”

Another sigh left her lips, then she took Harrys hand and both of them made their way back inside the castle.

There were no sounds except for the howling of the wind and the thunder in the distance. You kept your eyes locked on the door as if you expected Hermione to come back outside any minute now. After a while, a shiver ran down your spine. When you felt Draco putting his jacket over your shoulders, your head snapped in his direction.

“Why the fuck did you say that?!”

He furrowed his brows. “Y/N …”

“Answer me!”

He sighed. “Someone had to say it eventually and –”

“Yes,” you interrupted him. “Someone. Not you! That wasn’t your place.”

“Her own boyfriend lied to her for months now!”

“As if you give a single fuck about her feelings, Draco!”, you fumed. “Stop pretending this was about anything over than your sick need to make yourself feel superior to everyone around you!” You pulled the jacket from your shoulders and threw it at him. “By Merlin, you’re still the same fucking jerk from third grade, aren’t you, Malfoy?!”

 ***

When you heard the footsteps on the stairs, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Fucking hell, why did he have to care so much?

About an hour had passed since you stormed away from Draco, right after insulting him. You had wandered through Hogwarts – dodging annoying ghosts and Filch until you finally hid up here on the Astronomy Tower.

You wanted to talk to Hermione. Wanted to clear the air and apologize. You never meant to hurt her … not that this excused your behavior at all. However, you knew that she wouldn’t want to see you tonight. She needed time to cool down and you wanted to give that to her. Besides, you were way too upset yourself for any kind of productive talk.

“How did you find me here?”, you asked him.

“I searched all of your usual spots,” Draco replied and sat down next to you. “You’ll freeze to death up here.” He was right. The wind on the Astronomy Tower blew relentlessly. He pulled his wand from his jacket and mumbled a spell. Warmth spread around the two of you, trying to soften your cold and stiffened muscles.

“You shouldn’t have come,” you mumbled. “You hate it up here.”

“I don’t hate it.”

“You never want to come here.”

Draco shrugged. “I used to come here quite often. Grew tired of it eventually, I guess.”

There was a moment of silence as both you watched the dark clouds in the night sky.

“I’m sorry,” Draco finally said.

You remained still.

“It wasn’t my place. I just wanted …”, he stopped himself. “I’m sorry.”

You glanced at him. He stared at the wand in his hand.

“You’re not a jerk,” you admitted. “Sorry for that.”

When you insulted him, it came from a place of misdirected anger. He wasn’t the responsible one for Hermiones pain. That was you.

“I am though.”

You chuckled. “Maybe. But you’re not the same jerk from the third grade.”

A small smile appeared on his face. You scooted closer to him and leaned against his body. Draco put an arm around you and together, you watched the storm.

***

A/N: A lot happened in this chapter :D Looking forward to your thoughts on it! Thank you for reading! <3

CHAPTER 19

Choose Me Instead Masterlist Harry Potter Masterlist

Tag List:    @writerdee1701, @youareinllve, @sjmahoney, @detroitobsessed, @takura-rin, @jadam268, @wynterwind,  @renaissance-confiance, @doitforthevine67, @rinasrights, @flowerpowerpixie, @gold-flowing, @starkssnarks, @bookcornerkins, @harpersmariano, @markedsweetly, @iraniq, @pointlesscoconut, @hvrcruxes, @pillowjj, @idkatee,    @magicwithaknife, @graystherapy, @scoote-rankle, @nxstalgicnxbxdy, @sunsetsofanemoia,  @tommy-holland, @lordfxxker, @streetfighterrichie, @awaken-the-sirens, @destiels-assbutt13, @pockitparks, @just-addicted-to-bangtan, @cuddlykoala101, @zpandaqueen,  @natsiboo, @jjjmaybank, @justmesadgirl, @books-and-tings, @slytherinprincedracom, @katiaw2, @saintkore, @nctnight, @lifestragedy, @obxmxybxnk, @spideydobik , @ladylizzieofdarbyshire, @aspiring-ginger, @dracomalfoyswifey, @jpow345, @realistic-breadstick,  @abbs-is-tired, @alwaysbeanunknownfan, @niallsarmveinstho, @is-this-a-febreze-commercial​, @acciowilltolive, , @sexytholland, @faangirl101, @donttellany1iusetumbler​, @mendesmuffinsss​, @lilxnvm​, @kill-the-teen-memories​, @darkusangelus​, @itsbebeyyy​, @hesaidimcrazy​, @jenniweaslee​, @hpxpjo​, @brisbubble​, @xomaymay​, @shitnstuffillregret​, @serialkillme​, @angel-tears15​, @panicattheeverywherekid​, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything​,  @nobleking​, @tashii-blr, @ddaeing​, @randogirlo-fando-main​, @sadgirlnumber92899​, @captivateing​, @bitchyegirl​, @smiithys​, @ninipoo1​, @intheawks​,  @nothanksnyla​, @calpal-4ever​, @dracosathenaeum​, @belsandthings​, , @kiwi-sloan​, @xdmx​, @lexi-ravenclawdracomalfoy​, @kvyenxay, @live-awkward​, @babebenhardy​, @bitchysweets-blog​, @cravingmusic​, @frau-moon​, @ohissandhalasta​,  @broken-but-beautiful-cassie​, @lil-black-heart​,  @vminenthusiastt​, @dracos-sluts​, @mrmoonyy​, @saucysuazo​, @fuzzzwald​, @matsuno-nadeshiko​, @amber-arsenault​ ,  @loveableasshole​,  @spideycures​, @echpr​, @shiningstar-byulxx​,  @twinklebug2282​, @bloodiedroses​, @klthmef​, @ostorian​ ,  @bi-chai-tea​, @maddieisnotok​, @amandaluvssupernatural​, @makeoutwithstiles​,    @i-am-addicted-to-tea​, @tenclouds​, @lovingdracomalfoy​, @lannaax​, @dr-bitch-bby​,  @fallinallinmendes​, @suckerforparker​, @runninglownad​, @piercinghorizons​, @dosicas​, @yanaaaaaaa​,  @akzer300500​ @hoseokslily​, @dracofeltonmalfoy​, @emilianamason​, @tothemoonwithclifford​, @gcldreinhart​ ,  @angelofthorr​, @k-k0129​, @musicalmuffindog1410​, @andydre4m​, @mxl-foyrecs​, @seeinorange​, @vlgsqd​ , @justmimithings​, @allthevoicesinmyhead​, @pipppaaaaalouisee​, @yessirrz​, @2think2twice2​ @spencerreidisbootiful​, @find-a-little-faith​, @thatguppienamedbae​, @emmamarie7708​, @dontpanicitsdan​ @jordaangx​, @ceeellewrites​, @drxcomvlfx​, @7minutes-tomidnight​, @coldheartedslytherin​, @wingardiumdepressionosa, @perfect-storm95​, @danisaur1324​, @unlikely-y-bliss​, @trentdijklfc66​, @saptediavoli​, @treestarrrrrrrr​, @aangsupremacy​

If you want to be added to my tag list, let me know! <3

[nickjunesource]

Full article below.

Max Minghella is sitting in his backyard in the LA sunshine, his t-shirt an homage to the French filmmaker Mia Hansen-Løve, his adopted shepherd mix, Rhye, excited by the approach of a package courier.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asks — the dog, not me — tenderly.

Minghella, who at 35 has dozens of screen credits to his name, is best known as The Handmaid’s Tale’s cunning chauffeur Nick Blaine, a character who it’s difficult to imagine saying sweetheart. In airless Gilead, of course, a cautious hand graze with Elisabeth Moss’ June can pass for a big romantic gesture. In a Season 1 episode featuring child separation and hospital infant abduction, Nick’s major contribution is to trade stolen glances with a sex slave while “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” pumps discordantly along. I ask Minghella about playing the series’ closest approximation to a dreamy male lead against the show’s dark narrative of female subjugation.

“I know this is not the answer you want to hear,” Minghella says with none of Nick’s hesitation. “But I like that stuff, right? In the pilot, I think Nick only had a handful of lines. It wasn't clear that this is what the character would turn into. And it's quite fortunate for me personally, because I'm not a massively sort of intellectual person in my real life. I love Fifty Shades of Grey. That's like my Star Wars. It suits me to play a character like him.”

Minghella surmises that this enduring romanticism is an outcome of nurture. His father, the late British director Anthony Minghella, made grand romantic dramas like Cold Mountain and The English Patient. And there was the young, cinema-mad Max sitting on the living room sofa, absorbing everything. “It’s taken me a long time to understand this,” he says of his prolonged childhood exposure to love stories. “My dad made The English Patient when I was 10. So it was two years of watching the dailies to that movie and then watching 50 cuts of it. And then [The Talented Mr.] Ripley he made when I was 13, and it was the same thing.” These were an adolescent Max Minghella’s alternative to reruns. “I think they did shape my perspective on the world in a lot of ways, specifically The English Patient. That was a complicated love story, and I wonder sometimes how much it's affected my psychology.”

Some sons rebel; others resemble. Minghella’s co-star O-T Fagbenle, who plays June’s other lover from before the time of Gilead, got his first job acting in Anthony Minghella’s romantic crime film Breaking and Entering. “Anthony is one the kindest, most beautiful men that I've ever had the privilege of working with before,” Fagbenle says. “And Max has his gorgeous, sensitive, open-minded soul.”

Though Minghella spent his childhood on the set of The Talented Mr. Ripley, playing an uncredited Confederate soldier role in Cold Mountain, and tooling around with a Super-8 camera Matt Damon gave him, he insists his upbringing was normal. He grew up in South Hill Park overlooking Hampstead Heath in London with his father and mother, the choreographer Carolyn Choa. (Minghella also has a half-sister, Hannah Minghella, who is now a film executive.) Yes, technically, it was London, but that’s not how it seemed. “I feel like I grew up in a very small town. Every school I went to was in Hampstead. I was born in Hampstead,” Minghella says of the small map dot of his life before university. “When I went to New York, I felt I was going to the big city.”

Despite his illustrious surname, movie-watching was far from restricted to the classics. “Beverly Hills Cop is definitely the movie I remember having an unhealthy obsession with. I think I saw it when I was 5 for the first time, and I'd watch it just two or three times a day for years. I'm just obsessed with it.”

Plenty of actors can trace their love of movies back to a love of stories, but for Minghella the relationship seems to flow in reverse. When he left for Columbia University, Minghella opted to study history for its connection, through storytelling, to film. It was during the summers between his years of college that he started taking acting more seriously. Before his graduation, he’d already appeared in Syriana, starring Damon and George Clooney. Soon, he’d make a splash as Divya Narendra in The Social Network in 2010 and be cast in Clooney’s Ides of March. As all young actors eventually must, Minghella moved to Los Angeles.

It’s been over a decade since he last lived on the Heath, but, perhaps unusually for a person who’s chosen his profession, Minghella is adamantly not a “shapeshifter,” in his words. Home for Christmas this year, he started sifting through old journals stored at his mother’s house, “just like scraps of writing from when I was extremely young up through my teenage years,” before coming to America. “It was hilarious to me,” Minghella says of staring at his childhood reflection. “My review of a movie at 7 years old is pretty much what my review of a movie at 35 will be. My taste hasn't changed much. And when I sort of love something, I do tend to continue to love it.”

Which brings us back to his enduring love of romance, born of his bloodline, which is all over Minghella’s own 2018 directorial debut. Teen Spirit is a hazily lit film about a teenage girl from the Isle of Wight — the remote British island where Max’s father Anthony was born — who enters a local X-Factor-style singing competition. (It stars Minghella’s rumored girlfriend of several years, Elle Fanning.) The story is small, but its crescendos are epic.

Minghella calls the movie — an ode to the power of the pop anthem — “embarrassingly Max.” Max loves a good music-driven movie trailer — he’s watched the one for Top Gun: Maverick “many” times. And Max loves the rhythmic beats of sports movies like Friday Night Lights. Max loves movies with excesses of female energy, like Spring Breakers. He likens Teen Spirit to an experiment, his answer to the question, “Can I take all these things that I love and find a structure that can hold them?” The result is a touching “hodgepodge” of Minghella’s fascinations, inspired by the songs from another thing he loves: Robyn’s 2010 album Body Talk (itself a dance-pop meditation on love).

Minghella hasn’t directed any films since, but he sees now how making movies fits his personality — organized, impatient — more organically than starring in them does. Directing also helped him to appreciate that acting is “much harder than I was giving it credit for,” which, in turn, has made him like it more. Besides The Handmaid’s Tale currently airing on Hulu, Minghella appears in Spiral, the ninth installment in the Saw horror franchise and, from where I’m sitting, at least, a departure.

“I do like horror movies, but the thing that was really kind of magical is that I was feeling so nostalgic, right? We talked about Beverly Hills Cop earlier. I was just missing a certain kind of movie,” Minghella explains of his new role as Chris Rock’s detective partner. He was yearning for simple story-telling, like in the buddy cop movies of his youth, especially 48 Hours. It almost goes without saying that a buddy cop movie is another kind of love story. “And then I read the script and it was very much in that vein.” He clarifies: “I mean, it's also extremely Saw. It's very much a horror movie.”

His renewed excitement for acting translated onto The Handmaid’s Tale set, too. Veteran Hollywood producer Warren Littlefield describes casting Minghella in the role of Nick as an effortless choice: “Sometimes you agonize over things. [Casting Minghella] was instantly clear to me, and everyone agreed.” Now in its fourth season, the tone of the Hulu hit is graver than ever. Gilead is more desperate to maintain its rule, and so more audacious in its violence. Perhaps it’s fitting that the show’s romantic gestures finally match that scale.

In one particularly soaring moment, Elisabeth Moss’ June and Minghella’s Nick meet at the center of a bridge and crush into a long kiss. It’s been two seasons since they held their newborn daughter together, and it’s hard to see how this isn’t their last goodbye. Littlefield, like Minghella, is here for the romance among the rubble. “It's spectacular when they come together. In the middle of all of the trauma is this epic love story,” he says. “Max is just magnificent in the role.”

For Minghella, the satisfaction is more personal. He works with good people, he likes his scenes, and he thinks Nick is a complex character. Minghella read The Handmaid’s Tale for the first time in college in 2005. Like all the things Minghella has ever liked, he still likes it. He’s as proud of this most recent season as he is the show’s first. And he watched Nick and June race recklessly back to each other across the expanse of the screen exactly how you might expect. “I watched it like a fan girl.”

[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Extra 7

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Novel Updates

Extra: Bai Ming and Zhang Yiqing

After Bai Ming and Zhang Yiqing met, Zhang Yiqing once asked Bai Ming a question. He asked him: "What are your dreams?"

When he heard this question Bai Ming immediately beamed. He met Zhang Yiqing’s eyes and answered earnestly and solemnly, "my dream is you."

At this, Zhang Yiqing was momentarily taken aback.

"I'm seriously asking."

Bai Ming, "and I'm seriously answering."

Bai Ming indeed was serious. Before encountering the doors, he'd already been a fan of Zhang Yiqing, obsessively devoted to that handsome man onscreen.

Bai Ming collected Zhang Yiqing's every movie, every drama, and every commercial. And when he found out that Zhang Yiqing was quitting the silver screen to direct behind-the-scenes instead, Bai Ming went crazy for a good long while.

During that while, nobody in their organization dared to go through doors with him. They all knew Bai Ming was the sort of person capable of doing anything on a bad mood.

Back then, Bai Ming had not yet been the boss of their organization. He had just been a plain and simple door-crosser, though the potential he emanated often gave his fellow door-crossers the sense that he was no small-pond creature.

Bai Ming's family situation was more complicated. He'd lived at an orphanage since youth, and had only been found and brought back home after he turned twelve. Only then did he learn that his father was actually a rich man, and the reason his father brought him back had nothing to do with paternal devotion, but rather because his brother needed a healthy liver.

This sort of bloody melodrama was what befell Bai Ming.

The truth was, prior to actually meeting Zhang Yiqing, the two of them had seen each other once before.

It was at a cocktail party hosted by the Bai family. Bai Ming had stood in a corner, small and thin, and watched as a smiling Zhang Yiqing chatted with his father. Zhang Yiqing had been young back then, and had just recently snagged Best Actor—there was still a touch of youth in his appearance, but the unparalleled splendor of his later years could already be seen.

Bai Ming had stared at him for a long time, many thoughts flashing through his mind. At this point he was already a fan of Zhang Yiqing's movies, but was too nervous to just walk up and start talking to him. He could only gaze from afar.

And later, Bai Ming met the doors, so he'd thought that there was only ever to be the one encounter between he and Zhang Yiqing.

But fate was always an extraordinary thing. After many years of hard work, Bai Ming had staked out quite a position for himself in the world of the doors. One day, a good friend suddenly asked him: "Bai Ming, you like Zhang Yiqing, right?"

Lit cigarette hanging between his lips, Bai Ming vocalized a lazy, "mh."

"He's started entering doors too," his friend told him. "Want to consider taking him on?"

Bai Ming's head twisted to stare at his friend.

"What did you say?"

Looking innocently back at him, his friend repeated himself.

Bai Ming extinguished the cigarette and laughed, "this isn't a joke, is it?"

Of course it wasn't a joke. The moment he saw Zhang Yiqing again, Bai Ming knew that his dream was about to come true.

Zhang Yiqing, who had retreated behind the scenes, was no longer as tender as he'd been in his youth. He was no less handsome, however. Like an aged bottle of wine, he and his charms had not faded with time, in fact had begun to emanate a unique fragrance of maturity.

All competent people have arrogance, and Zhang Yiqing was a proud standout in his industry. He'd taken the laurels for Best Actor four times, not to mention countless other awards, both large and small. The year he turned to directing, the country had even nominated him for Best Director.

The only shame was that after encountering the doors, his fate was forced to take a sharp turn.

"Hello, I'm Bai Ming." The two sat face-to-face, and Bai Ming held a hand out to Zhang Yiqing with a smile. His smile was sincere, and paired with that harmless-looking face, there really was no visible aura of an apex predator about him. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Naturally, Zhang Yiqing was fooled by Bai Ming. He took Bai Ming's hand and said, "it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Zhang Yiqing."

"Oh," Bai Ming nodded. "I've seen your movies."

Zhang Yiqing smiled politely. He likely thought Bai Ming was just a normal fan, or perhaps not even that—Bai Ming may just be an audience who had seen his movies in passing. But much later, when Zhang Yiqing saw that room stacked full of his own works, he would finally realize that Bai Ming was nowhere as harmless as he made himself look.

Of course, at this point, Zhang Yiqing was not aware of anything. He saw the headful of natural curls, the unsophisticated grin, and really took Bai Ming for a gentle-natured young man…

At this point Zhang Yiqing even failed to understand why everybody in Bai Ming's organization was so scared of him, to the point where Zhang Yiqing thought there really must be a misunderstanding…

Inside and outside the doors, Bai Ming did not change much. His personality stayed genial. When confronted with malicious words or even malicious people, he was never even vicious in return.

Sometimes, Zhang Yiqing even thought Bai Ming was being too nice, and would step up to protect Bai Ming.

"You're too well-tempered," was something Zhang Yiqing once said. "Nice people get taken advantage of. Harbor no intent to hurt, but preserve all instinct to caution!"[1]

Bai Ming listened to Zhang Yiqing's reprimand and said, beaming, "Zhang-ge's right to scold me."

Zhang Yiqing didn’t know what went through his head then, but seeing Bai Ming's well-behaved smile, he reached out and gave that head a pat. Only after touching Bai Ming did he realize the gesture didn't seem quite right, and so he coughed once, before explaining, "it just looks good to touch."

Bai Ming just blinked his eyes noncommittally.

Bai Ming's hair was extremely fluffy and truly peak touch quality. Just seeing it made people want to pet it. But there really weren't that many people who’d dare to pet a tiger—Zhang Yiqing was one of few, though at that time, he had yet to discover the fact that Bai Ming was a ferocious beast, and not some adorable kitten.

But fake was fake in the end—Zhang Yiqing was no idiot either. By the time he became aware of the incongruities about Bai Ming's person, the two of them had already grown closer.

Zhang Yiqing had noticed the oddity and even joked about it, saying, "Bai Ming, how come I've discovered that anyone who crosses you gets struck with misfortune?"

Bai Ming batted his eyes at this.

"Don't they deserve it?"

At his smile, Zhang Yiqing froze. Zhang Yiqing had only been joking, but after careful thought, a layer of cold sweat began to dot his back. Because as far as he could remember, ever since he and Bai Ming started entering doors together, those who had wronged Bai Ming were not simply "unfortunate," they were all…dead.

That's right, dead. Dead via various odd accidents. Some things may seem accidental on the surface, but—upon multiple occurrences—could no longer be mere coincidence.

Incidental became inescapable after a certain point.

Having realized something, Zhang Yiqing looked once more to Bai Ming, and found that the young man who was once so easy to read now seemed something of a stranger.

The good thing was, that feeling only lasted for a moment, because Bai Ming grinned and scooted closer again.

"Zhang-ge, come get hotpot with me tonight?"

"Sure," Zhang Yiqing agreed.

The relationship between the two of them was still ambiguous at this moment, but one could die at any time inside the doors. Zhang Yiqing saw clearly Bai Ming's devotion to protecting him, and so the two got closer and closer—until one day, when Zhang Yiqing went to a party.

As a heavy hitter in the entertainment industry, there were naturally many people lined up to take a ride on his coattails. That was why that day, a coworker introduced him to a beautiful young woman.

Though Zhang Yiqing rejected her immediately, Bai Ming, who'd come along for fun, still saw everything.

Oddly enough, against Bai Ming's gaze, Zhang Yiqing felt a sense of guilt. The party hadn’t even been over when Bai Ming pulled Zhang Yiqing alone into a break room. Zhang Yiqing wanted to resist at first, but discovered that he wasn't at all Bai Ming's opponent—he was picked up and brought along as if he were a sack of rice.

"Does Zhang-ge have someone he likes?" was what Bai Ming asked him.

Zhang Yiqing said, "no."

"No?" Bai Ming said. "Then what's the deal with her?"

Watching Bai Ming's expression, Zhang Yiqing had the thought that the person before him seemed a bit drunk. He licked his lips, and spoke hoarsely: "I don't like her."

"You don't like her, but you'll still have her?" Bai Ming asked.

Zhang Yiqing opened his mouth, wanting to explain. But when the words got to his lips, the pride in his bones was for some reason set off by Bai Ming's accusatory tone. He lifted his chin and, with a cool expression, forced down the anxiety deep in his chest.

"So what if I will?"

Bai Ming pressed a hand to his lips, got closer, and hummed, "but I'll get angry."

Zhang Yiqing's brow furrowed.

Bai Ming, "I'll get very…very…angry."

Zhang Yiqing was just about to ask and so what if you get angry when Bai Ming shoved him onto the break room sofa. Bai Ming's fingers picked apart the first button on his shirt, and the man looked down at Zhang Yiqing from high above. His voice when he spoke was colder than anything Zhang Yiqing had heard from him.

"I don't want to wait anymore."

Zhang Yiqing's eyes went wide. This was the first time he became aware that Bai Ming and that harmless youth he thought he knew were two completely different people.

"Zhang-ge," Bai Ming said. "I like you. Do you like me?"

Zhang Yiqing swallowed, and he didn't answer Bai Ming's question. He only said, "calm down a second…"

Bai Ming watched him. "You also like me, right? You just don't want to admit it…But even if you don't admit it, that’s alright." He smiled, as handsome as an incubus. "It's fine as long as I like you."

Everything that happened after that was unspeakable.

By the time Zhang Yiqing once again regained consciousness, he was limp all over. Bai Ming had him wrapped up in blanket and was placing him into the car. Seeing him wake, Zhang Yiqing beamed.

"Zhang-ge, you're up? We're headed home now."

Zhang Yiqing wanted to speak, but found his voice nearly gone. He recalled something, and a smudge of red appeared over his cheeks as he grated out: "Animal."

Bai Ming batted his eyes. "Zhang-ge, are you calling me big?"

Zhang Yiqing, "…" He surrendered.

Bai Ming, "no worries, it's only 3AM. There's still plenty of time when we get back."

Zhang Yiqing wanted to retort, so Bai Ming caught him by the lips. Bai Ming's kiss was rough enough to turn his mouth an evocative red.

Zhang Yiqing went dizzy with the kiss. It was only then that he had the faint realization that he…seemed to have caught the attention of someone incredible.

Translator’s Notes:

害人之心不可有，防人之心不可無; idiom that literally means, “you can’t have intent to hurt people, but you can’t not be guarded against people.” The two phrases have parallel rhythms Chinese (note the four middle characters are identical), so coming up with a translation that mirrors that to some degree is both fun and difficult.

[Extra: Twin Lives, Twin Deaths(3)] | [Extra: Tan Zaozao]

[thequeenb]

Come Back

This is part 3 of the series because its highly requested. Part 1 and 2 are here for you to read.

I watched Poppy get out of the limo gracefully as she has always been. She was perfect in every way, people here aren't used to this type of women. From head to toe she was beautiful, from the way her hair fell to her shoulders to the way she was standing, eyes looking at me intently.

Everyone was stunned but i am not surprised. Charlie gasps as she takes my hand in hers tagging me away from the crowd. My eyes are lost in hers, just like every movie everything stops. My heart is pounding but I can't quite know how i feel. As Charlie pushes me away from her i can see the disappointment all over her perfect features

Why she follow me? Why is she here? How did she know i was here? And most importantly what do i do now? Before my mind start overthink Charlie looks at me worried

"I am sorry this is all my fault i thought it was a celebrity i didn't knew it was your ex"

Right my ex. Is this the right word? I cant quite tell to be honest. We have been through so much that we didn't had time to label our relationship nor we had to. I felt anger when the painful pictures came back in my mind. If our relationship meant even a little bit to her why would she let us fall apart?

I frown and Charlie hugs me tight without another word. She always knew what to do and how to read my eyes. Her hand draws small circles on my back and i take a deep breath

"This wasn't your fault. I am surprised she even knows where Farmsvile is" my bitter chuckle fills the air "i always wanted to take her here, show her the real world without any masks covering our every decision"

Charlie listens to me like always. I miss Zoe though, she is as supportive as her but she always knew the New York world better than Charlie

"Why do you think she is trying to find you?"

I bite my lip in thought wanting the answer to this question but for now its unknown

"Well i blocked her number..her instagram, her Twitter account, her Facebook account her-"

"Woah there" Charlie says laughing "you are such a drama queen no wonder the big city treats you well"

"I wish it did, so many things changed so fast. The way i dress, the way i think, the way i make decisions, everything" i hide my face in my hands unable to get a hold of my emotions

"Well you better make a fast decision because miss Barbie is coming our way right now" i quickly fix my hair and wipe my tears not wanting Poppy to see how hurt i am

She approaches carefully and so sure of herself but knowing her i sense the hesitation in her expression.

"Could we have some privacy?" Poppy asks and Charlie gives me the "should i kill this bitch" look. I nod reassuring her its fine

"If you hurt her more i will throw you to the pigs" Charlie says giving Poppy a sharp look before walking away

Poppy mutters something under her breath, probably something like 'gross' or 'ew'. She is hesitant to sit next to me but I don't mind it. Taking a deep breath i try to not cry

"Look Bea, i won't waste your time because you already hate me but everything you saw has a story behind them" her expression changes, i am sure she replay the events and honestly so do i. The difference between us is that she feels sadness and i am blinded by rage

"Oh i am sure it does. I will make a guess and say that you used me all this time and i was just a puppet in your stupid game" i stand up unable to be close to her

"Oh please what would i gain from you? Being with a farmer girl isn't exactly appealing to any advantage" she stands up too, her eyes a wild fire ready to spread

A farmer girl..not appealing. Bravo Poppy, break my heart a little bit more

"Wow really? Last time i checked a farmer girl made you feel loved, a farmer girl took you to nice places and a farmer girl held you while you complained about your family!!" I raise my voice even though i have all the right reasons, still i can see how surprised she is by it

"I could have anyone i want if i snap my fingers but i tried to protect you i never wanted Carter-"

"Oh really?? The what the fuck is this pic Poppy?" I shove my phone in her face and i can see clearly her anger building in

"You don't understand, i am stupid i even came to this disgusting place to find you" she grabs her bag fixing her hair trying to make a dramatic exit

"Oh seriously? Well i am sorry this doesn't meet your standards i am sure you enjoy the city where nobody gives a shit about you or use you for your name" i grab my bag too and this time i walk away without looking back

Suddenly i stop my tracks but i don't turn around to face her "And to think i wanted to show you where i grew up" thats all i say before my tears fell from my eyes. I change my pace going faster in hope she would chase me but she doesn't.

The fresh air hits my face and i feel safe knowing nobody will judge me here. Walking a little further i finally arrive home where a familiar smell greets me. My mother is making my favourite food, father is feeding the chickens and Charlie waits for me on the porch

I put a fake smile on my face as i approach "well that went better than i thought" sarcasm was always my way to cope with my emotions

"You will share the details later right now we should eat the stew while its hot come on!" Charlie leads me inside the house and it feels good to be surrounded by welcoming faces

The day passes fast and i jump in my bed. I am so exhausted, who knew dealing with my emotions would be so tiring. Before i close my eyes i check my phone in hope Zoe texted me but i know she is busy. I close my eyes hoping the pain will stop and the new day will start better.

The sun hits my face and i groan in annoyance when i hear a knock at my door.

"Sweetheart should i come in?" My mother comes inside my room and i sit up trying to understand why she woke me up at..8:00 in the morning?? Ugh a girl cant get her beauty sleep

She sits beside me cupping my face in her hands. I missed her touch, she always made me feel better about myself and my problems no matter how sad i was feeling

"You have visitors outside waiting for you but i was adviced to not let you look through the window" my mother chuckles "now get ready they waited long enough"

I smile putting all my energy into getting out of my warm bed "fine fine only because i know Charlie will want to do something crazy"

I get dressed and run downstairs. I open the door only to be greeted by Charlie and.. Poppy??

"Goodmorning Princess i am sorry to wake you up so early but we have cows to milk" Charlie winks at me but my attention falls to Poppy who's wearing a simple T shirt and..boots? What is happening?

"Don't look at this city snob like that it took me 1 hour to convince her to wear these"

Poppy rolls her eyes but i laugh, its a once in a lifetime opportunity to see her this way, ah how i would love to take a picture and post it everywhere

"Show me your world" Poppy says giving me a small smile and for the first time i can see all the effort she put for me. I mean the outfit says it all, and the one and only Min SinClair will do farm work? Now thats some change

"I chuckle walking towards the farm "Well then show me how sorry you are" i say throwing a bucket at Poppy who looks at it in disgust

"I swear Hudges if you-" but Charlie push her in time and honestly this is the best sight ever. Poppy pouts but bites her tongue

"Lets go city girl show me what you got" Charlie and i laugh and surprisingly Poppy joins as she hides her face on my shoulder

"I missed you" she whispers only for me to hear and i smile letting my bad thoughts on the side for once seeing where this will take me. I hold her closer as we walk into the sunrise ready to share a piece of myself with her.

Tag list: @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @princessstellaris @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @ghalind @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @aiswood @alexlabhont @dopeyouth @tyrils-star @alexroyard @uselesslesbianfr  @wolfietheduckyou @somin-yin

[wandsandwheezes]

Fake It | Weasley Twins | CH3

one // two

Warnings | 18+ SMUT, mature themes, fake relationships, secret relationships, love, sex, drama, angst, fluff.

Summary // Fred Weasley has been set up to publicly date Y/N, London’s best Quidditch Seeker in order to drum up some publicity. Y/N however has a different ginger man on her mind; George Weasley.

A/N // Just a quick one to say a massive thank you for the 800 of you have chosen to follow me and my work! I’m absolutely over the moon and once again I am filled with so many emotions that I don’t know how to process, so once again thank you, frim the bottom of my heart 💕

You were gasping for air, begging to have a moment to let out your sultry moans as the power of your orgasm washed over you. After a gentle shower together earlier, George pulled his old Gryffindor sweater on you, and it lit a fire inside him that was fuelling high, after high, after high, fucking his girl possessively into his sweater, until you were an absolute mess for him.  Only when the garment had served its purpose did it come off again. These were the things George wished he could brag about to his mates, he wished he could quip back when they were talking about how good their sex life was, he wanted to be able to boast about his ability to make you cum over and over again for him. But a part of him was glad he could keep that a secret because he didn't want anyone else picturing your sweet little moans other than him.

The rise and fall of both of your chests as you lay in George's arms, naked skin pressed against each other. Your eyes were still glazed over, still blissed out as you traced small circles on his chest. His large hand rubbing up and down your back soothingly, as he mumbled soft words of praise as his lips pressed into your hair. "You did so good for me princess, Such a good girl for me, what can I get for you? Tea, water, a snack?" 

You pulled him closer, leg still wrapped around his as you did. He was the one who was good to you, this was the intimate side of George that nobody else saw, It made you feel special, unlike you'd ever felt before. "Can we have tea, baby?" he hummed simply, moving to go make it, you whined wanting to pull him closer. "Take me with you." you pouted, making grabby hands at him, he rolled his eyes, still smiling at how needy you could be, as he went to pick you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around him as you sat attached to his hip.

"Cherry says I have to kiss Fred at the launch." you mumbled, as you heard him flick the kettle on. He sat you up on the counter as he looked at you with all seriousness. "You don't have to do anything you aren't ready to do." he stated it so quickly, turning around to grab some mugs from the cupboard and place them by the kettle. When he faced you again his hands were on your thighs, he caught your lips in a sweet kiss, hoping to brighten your spirits.

"She's your publicist, not a dictator. You're your own person, baby, You set the boundaries." He was so understanding, because he knew there was nothing he could do about the fake relationship between his brother and yourself. It was the one thing out of his control and he'd learned to let it go. He was resting his forehead against yours, just staring into your eyes lovingly, no words needed between the two of you as he waited for the water to boil. He made the tea for you both, carrying the cups upstairs, following behind you as he marvelled at how classic abs beautiful it was to see you walk up the stairs while naked.

Like usual, George woke up early for his shift at the store, today however he climbed back into bed, fully suited and booted for the day, to give you a kiss and a cuddle goodbye. You grumbled as he tried to pull away, "Please stay, Daddy, I need more kisses." he groaned, flipping you over so he could pin your shoulders to the bed, his hair hung in front of his eyes, blocking you from staring into his darkening eyes. "Baby girl, if I wasn't late I'd be ravishing you right now." your fingers pushed through his long hair, pushing it out of his face with a cheeky smile, keeping his head in your hands so you could pepper kisses over his face. "Just your fingers quickly, daddy, please" your hips were bucking up, hoping to catch some release. He contemplated it, one of his hands leaving your shoulder so that his fingertips could trail softly over your hip, ghosting millimetres over your clit, before plunging his first two fingers inside you slowly, using a scissoring motion to stretch you out as he felt the inside of your already dripping cunt, your hips were now bucking against his fingers, trying to chase a release, just as soon as he'd started he was pulling away completely from you, getting up off the bed, suckling his fingers into his mouth. "You taste amazing, I want that cunt dripping for me when I'm home, understand?" you nodded eagerly as pressed a kiss to your swollen lips before apparating to the shop with a fast pop, leaving his tired and needy girl splayed out on his bed. 

After sneaking in a small nap, you awoke to get ready for your day, searching through your bag to find the day's outfit. As you squat down, you realise just how sore your thighs are, you were unsure if that was due to a piss poor stretch after last night's training or the last few evenings with George, you laughed to yourself as you pulled your fresh clothes on. You text George, after making the bed, smiling at the love he always showed you. 

<< My thighs hurt today :(( x

>> I'll pick up some gel from the quidditch shop if you want x

>> on the condition that you let me massage it in later ;) x

<< you're a tease, Georgie, I'll be fine x

>> you're a stubborn git, I'll buy you some anyway x

You took the short walk from George's house to Diagon Alley, the slightly bitter wind ripped past your eyes, but the heat of the gleaming sun made it that little warmer. You text Fred to let him know you were on your way. 

<< I'm not too far away, still up for Coffee? Meet me there x

As soon as you'd walked through the entrance at the leaky cauldron, reporters were on your toes, "What are your plans today, Miss L/N?" you smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Can we expect any more kisses from you and Fred?" You Ignored them all as you took the short walk straight towards the coffee shop. 

Inside Fred's office, the man was just pulling on his coat when George stood in the doorway. "I have a preposition, Freddie." the older twin nodded, waving his hand to allow his brother in, George shutting the door behind him. "I've been thinking about what you said the other day about swapping and I think it would be cool, you know If you wanted to." George was awkwardly scratching behind his neck, eyes trailing to the floor. "I don't know George, I don't think you'd be able to handle the cameras and the couple thing," George huffed a little, "At least just let me give it a try, what about the product launch this weekend." 

Fred squinted his eyes, thinking for a few moments, "I see what you're doing." he stated, George cocked his head to the side in confusion, stuffing his hands into his pockets, "You do?" Fred's chuckle filled the room, "I can read you like a book George, you want a taste of that relationship life, I get it, it sure is lonely with just your hand." The younger of the two was really biting his tongue to stop himself from spilling six years of secrets. His hands clenching a little in his pockets little, but Fred continued, "I'm off on my date, either way, I think If I butter her up correctly, It won't just be my hand I have to use tonight." Fred was still laughing as he left the office, leaving the door ajar as he swiftly made his way out of the shop. 

George was seething, He didn't often have problems with his anger but today was an exception, He muttered to one of the workers that he would be found in his office for emergency only, slamming the door so loud behind him that the clap reverberated through the whole shop, sending the chatter into complete silence for the moment before the laughter erupted again. 

Fred saw you outside the coffee shop, his hand pressed to your lower back as he pulled you into a hug. Cherry insisted that at least once a week there would be a public date that would allow for some publicity, you decided on the coffee shop more often than not because it was a simple way of of showing the press that you did indeed meet outside of press events and helped to give some form of validity to your fake relationship, he pressed a kiss to your temple as you both waited in line, something that was sure to be captured replayed over and over in at least one magazine or paper tomorrow.  

While you and Fred were laughing over coffee and a shared piece of cake, George was replaying the conversation with Fred over and over in his head. He’d ripped up the order forms, the pieces of paper scattered all over the floor, but quite frankly he couldn’t give a fuck, even if the world right now was ending he’d still be focused on the words that spilt so easily from Fred’s lips. It made him sick to his stomach that his twin simply found you to be so easy that you’d give in with a little persuasion, sure if it was George doing the persuading it wouldn’t take more than a kiss and a look, but with anyone else surely you weren't ready to just sink to your knees and give it all up. George was tapping away furiously on his phone, letting you know exactly how he felt. 

“So, how’s training going?” Fred asked, bringing the coffee mug up to his lips, He’d already scraped all of the cream off of the top and was ready to sip on the sweet caramel latte, Fred’s drink choices were a far cry from what George drank, the one time he’d tried a bit of your festive latte some years ago, he promised to never drink one again, sticking to his simple americanos and teas. Fred however, liked to sweeten up his drinks, especially as it drew into winter, you remember a little blush on his cheeks at the irony of the ginger boy asking for a gingerbread latte. You responded to his question with a small shake of your head and a exhaling laugh, “It’s tough, coach works us hard as always, It’s like Oliver and Hooch combined into one - no rest.” he laughs, shaking the image from his thought “I don’t want to think of anything that puts Wood and Hooch in the same person.” you began to laugh with him, your fingers circling over the rim of the coffee cup. Your phone began to buzz, the first one you ignored, but when they kept coming, you picked it up, looking at the messages.

>> I’m fucking fuming right now, Y/N

>> I wish you were here bouncing on my cock with the door wide open for all of the shop to hear

>> You better call your coach and tell her you won’t be going to practice because you’re not gonna be able to walk tomorrow. 

>> you’re nothing but a good, pretty little slut for me, aren’t you?

You had to choke down the lump in your throat as you read the messages that were pouring in, getting more and more vulgar as they came. You had absolutely no idea quite what had gotten into George, but nevertheless it made you ache for him. Your stomach felt like it was doing somersaults as you read the latest one. 

>> I’m gonna send you to heaven and back, princess.

>> Remember what I said this morning, I want you to keep that cunt soaked for me. 

You put your phone face down onto the table, taking a deep breath. “Hello… Earth to Y/N?” your eyes snapped up to the man in front of you, seeing Fred waving his hand in front of your face with a laugh. “You okay, love?” You were blinking so slowly, internalising the messages George had sent you, a thousand images of his hands running all over your body, the sounds of harmonising breaths and the feel of open-mouthed kisses against intimate areas of skin. You were squeezing your thighs together out of habit and out of a need for some friction, your mouth had gone completely dry as you tried to croak out a response to Fred. “Oh, yeah, I’m okay Freddie.”

“What was sending your phone off like that?” he questioned, you weren't sure how to tell the curious boy in front of you that his twin brother was telling his girlfriend in detail how he wanted to absolutely rail her, instead opting for a more simple to explain response, “Oh, It’s just Cherry sending outfit ideas for the launch this weekend, you know how she gets…” he nodded in agreement, his hand reaching across the table to hold yours, It was a sweet gesture but something that felt too foreign to be comfortable. “Shall we head back? You offered, spooning the last piece of the cake into your mouth, Fred nodded. 

When you entered the shop, it was too quiet for comfort, you smiled at one of the workers politely as you looked around for any sign of George. When you realised he was nowhere to be seen your eyes settled on Fred who was now shrugging off his jacket, he sighed, as he looked back at you, seeing you lost in your own thoughts once again. His long strides brought him to you quickly, his hands were placed on your shoulders as he stood in front of you. His grip wasn't like your lover's, it was icy and vice-like and for the second time today discomfort fell to the pit of your stomach, It was only when he tilted your chin up and was leaning in that you felt like the coffee and cake that you had eaten was coming back up. Your limbs were forcing you away from the situation as if your fight or flight had just kicked in and suddenly, any ease you once felt around Fred had diminished. 

“Jesus, Y/N, what’s so repulsive about me that you can’t even kiss me!” He was speaking quietly, not wanting to cause a scene, his eyes were glazed over with a sadness you had only seen during the war, he took a deep breath before choking out. “You’re supposed to be my girlfriend.” His words hit you like a tonne of bricks, the whole situation felt like a car out of control and suddenly you were in the driver’s seat, there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop it, you were waiting for the inevitable crash and burn. 

“But I’m not, am I Freddie?” the nickname you gave him suddenly felt like a dagger straight to the chest, or like a chokehold. He’d been winded, because he realised as he watched you storm out of the shop, that the relationship he had with her was simply a show and he was dumb enough to fall for the ruse. Fred was in love with you. 

///TO BE CONTINUED///  chapter four >>>>

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[iron--spider]

I woke up at 3am yesterday to watch The Devil All the Time and I’ve been thinking about it since. I’m gonna put my thoughts and feelings and a review of sorts behind the cut, because I am gonna talk about it freely, so there will be spoilers! So don’t click if you don’t wanna see. I’ll also be discussing the content of the film and I know that might bother people, so that stuff is in here, too! And it’ll be really long because you know I can’t shut up.

So, I loved it. I loved it loved it loved it. I read the book a long time ago when I first found out Tom was gonna be in it, and the only problem I had with the book was that the POVs would change in the middle of a paragraph lmao, but other than that I thought it was pretty perfect. I knew the movie was gonna be pretty brutal, because the book is brutal, so I was prepared.

-BUT I think the critics HIGHLY HIGHLY exaggerated how bad the content was. Like, seriously, they acted as if this was gonna be a Saw movie. I was preparing for blatant, horrific gore, but it didn’t live up to their dramatics at all. There’s blood and nasty situations, but every single episode of Game of Thrones is worse than this movie, as are most episodes of any crime drama on a paid network. I actually thought they were super, super tactful of all their horrific shit. The dog death was off screen and the shot of the body (described by the critics as literally traumatic) was so quick (enough to shut your eyes) and in the dark. I also argue that particular moment is extremely important for Arvin’s journey, because it’s the moment he truly turns on his father and turns on religion entirely, and he carries it with him his whole life (it’s what he flashes back to when he says “I know what my daddy did” because it’s the marker of all Willard’s mistakes) and it winds up being one of the last things he does before he leaves everything behind. Burying Jack’s bones. So, like, I despise dog death or any animal death in my entertainment, but it’s important here and handled well. And all the worst death scenes are either extremely fast (Helen’s and Gary Matthew’s) or shown in negative (all the photos). I think Bodecker’s headshot with Bobo is probably the worst and is also pretty quick. I don’t know if this means I’m a jaded bitch, but God the way they were all whining and crying, I thought it’d be a million times worse. It could have been, with the book’s descriptions, so it was actually pretty tame. Lenora’s death affected me the most and they cut away from that, too. I guess it’ll still bother some people, but there are many, many mainstream things that are far more violent and gory than this was.

-I thought it was a beautiful movie. I never mind films that are slightly slower but I love ones that use their time to lay things out and really show us what’s going on, build the ambiance and the relationships. I loved the narration (which I was worried about), and it really made me feel like we were visiting a moment in time that was important. Like something that was written and should be learned about. Rumors in a town you’re passing through. The ghosts of past trauma and transgressions looming over everyone that’s left.

-I liked the changes they made with Roy and Theodore because I thought that storyline kinda meandered in the book and I’m glad that Roy was actually gone the whole time and not just neglecting to come back to Lenora.

-The only real complaints I can make, I’ll get out of the way here: I wanted a little bit more time with Carl and Sandy. Carl was really creepy, but he could have been much creepier. In the book he was the one looking at the pictures constantly, Not Sandy, and that really showed that he was the one with the sickness, the one pushing them forward and orchestrating it all. I thought they did well with showing how Sandy deteriorated in her efforts with him through the years, but I would have liked to see a bit more of their personal lives together and her fear of him and her genuine feelings about what they’re doing, because the book goes into that a lot more. I also wasn’t a fan of Lee finding the picture early and knowing some about what they were doing, because I liked how it was a surprise to him in the book and yet he still did all he could to cover it up. And lastly, in the book there’s a scene with Arvin after he kills Sandy and Carl where he’s in a motel and he takes like 18 showers because he can’t get the grime of what he’s done off of him, and he looks at the picture and has a nightmare about killing Sandy, and I really would have loved if they’d kept it in. It would have been another ‘acting’ moment for Tom, and it would have been nice for us to see his direct trauma and reaction to everything that’s piling on top of him.

-BUT that’s it. I loved pretty much every single other thing and decision that they made. The cinematography was TOP NOTCH. You could tell they filmed on 35mm film, you could see the grain, and it really, really added to it. Antonio Campos is a very skilled director and I trusted him at the helm of this story. Everything looked so authentic, all the sets and the costumes. The soundtrack and score were AMAZING and enhanced the film. Technically it was just perfect in every regard to me.

-Acting! Acting! God this was like...a massive testament to the casting department and the talent of these people. Everyone was on their A game. Bill Skarsgård has been on my radar since Castle Rock (which I recommend to everybody, both seasons) and he was so natural and great in this role. Haley Bennet was absolutely adorable as Charlotte, I loved her cute face and her sweet relationship with little Arvin. Riley Keough was so great as Sandy with the limited amount of time she had, and Jason Clarke is one of my favorites but he was unrecognizable in this as creepy ass Carl. Harry Melling was a far cry from Dudley Dursley and he did a great job with his screen time, too. Same with Mia Wasikowska, who didn’t have much to do (same as poor Helen in the book) but she was able to garner our sympathy anyway. Seb Stan was slimy and gross but he pulled it off so well. Eliza Scanlen has been one of my favorites since Sharp Objects (another one that’s brutal as hell but I recommend it, she’s so scary) and she was so, so great here. Robert Pattinson was ALRIGHT, everybody talks him up over this but he felt a little hammy to me and a little too over the top, but there’s no denying his talent.

-Now, the reason we’re all here. Tom. My God. As soon as it was over I just didn’t know what the hell to do, I didn’t even know how to....go on, lmfao. We all know he’s talented, that’s why we’re here, that’s why we love him, but his performance in this is just BEYOND all that. Beyond comprehension. The man is only 24 years old and he’s out here outacting people who have been in the industry for longer than he’s been alive. He is SHOCKINGLY good. I knew he’d be perfect for Arvin as soon as I read the book, but he just completely embodied this role in a way that I couldn’t have imagined. He doesn’t show up in the movie until about 45 minutes in (which doesn’t hurt it because of the strength of the leadup, Bill’s performance and the performance of little Arvin’s actor) but God, as soon as he’s there the whole thing comes to life in a way that it hadn’t before. Tom is literally just a shining light, and he draws your eye in every single scene he’s in, and when he’s not there you’re wondering when he’s gonna come back. Arvin, to me, is a very complex character—he has been inherently changed by how his father twisted religion in his childhood, how deeply he betrayed him by his behavior, but he still has a kind heart and a protective streak and the need to be strong despite the pain nearly breaking him apart from moment to moment. Tom is just outrageously good at portraying all Arvin’s little nuances, how he clenches his jaw, how his voice breaks when he’s afraid or trying to convince someone of something or get his point across, how his hands tremble after he’s done something he wishes he didn’t have to do, how his whole body wilts when he realizes he’s emulating his father. And his eyes. Tom can do so, so much with his eyes that it’s unbelievable. He tells you so much with just a simple look, a glance, a wince, a long blink. I’m not exaggerating when I say he’s just an absolute revelation in this, he cements his place in Hollywood with a firm hand and a tender look, and I will not be forgetting what he did here anytime soon. There’s a reason that everyone called him out for being so stunning in this. He is magnificent. He has a gift.

-I wanna say, in particular, how much I love Arvin’s relationship with Lenora. Their lives were both marked by such tragedy and pain and Arvin just took up the torch of protecting her from the moment he said hello as a child. He wants so badly to be tough, and he IS, but there’s just miles and miles of love in this boy’s heart, and it manifests itself for his family—for his uncle, for his grandma, but for Lenora in particular. I loved how he just showed up when she was being harassed and just ran in there without thinking, and it’s purely devastating that he was out taking care of her bullies while a worse predator was cornering her. The scene where she was sick wasn’t in the book but it was a beautiful addition. Tom sometimes wears this very open, unguarded, honest expression, and this is the only scene in which he shows it, and it really expresses the love between them and how much she means to him. Arvin didn’t find Lenora’s body in the book, but it was the right change for them to make. Tom was devastating here, and that pain and that moment truly fuel every second of his journey through the rest of the film. “My Lenora”. The saddest siblings. Both Eliza and Tom did so beautifully with this relationship and I hope they work together again.

-Favorite acting moments for Tom: when he’s in the car in the rain after beating up the bullies, when he’s in the church crowd and realizes Preston is insulting his Grandma (the way his face changes oh my GOD), when he finds Lenora, when the cop comes to tell him Lenora was pregnant (this is just....so damn good), when he was telling his uncle to look after his Grandma, THE ENTIRE CHURCH CONFRONTATION (the way he trembles when he’s trying to get his attention, how he speaks the whole time, how he slowly gathers his strength), when he thinks Sandy has shot him, the moment where he’s over Lee’s body and just....pleading with his eyes for him to listen and realize what he’s done. And the last scene, in the car, all the emphasis on his face....once again, he can do so, so much with a look, with his eyes. Someone called out the beautiful last shot in the film, and of course, it’s Arvin’s sleeping face. And it was so beautiful (and devastating, to think of him enlisting. Tom draws so much sympathy that you just want Arvin to have a normal life so badly. He deserves it, he does, but will he get it?)

-Last thing I’ll say, I really loved how, despite turning his back on religion, that God seems to be protecting Arvin the whole time. He’s terribly afraid confronting the preacher and that could have easily gone badly, especially when he tosses the book, but Arvin was somehow able to get a shot off and get the upper hand. And with Carl and Sandy, he senses something is off immediately once they pull off the road, and he would have absolutely been killed had Carl not switched out Sandy’s bullets for blanks. And in the confrontation with Lee, he once again shoots at the same time as him, shoots without looking, and manages to come out unscathed and on top. A few spoiler reviews pointed out that the last person that picks Arvin up is supposed to be a Jesus-like figure, almost like he’s finally been saved. It hurts that everyone around him that he loved is almost forsaken by God, but he himself is protected. It’s such a complicated commentary on religion throughout the entire piece, but it’s so interesting and engrossing.

So I’d recommend this movie to anyone that loves movies, loves Tom, can deal with a gritty story that takes its time laying out all the chess pieces. It is definitely heavy subject matter but it doesn’t go overboard with the horror as it easily could have. Yes, there are triggers to look for, but the critics hugely over exaggerated how awful it was. I can probably go get time stamps for certain things if people wanna ask me after reading this, but if you can get through a Tarantino film or any HBO drama, you can do this. And Tom’s performance is one for the ages and not one that deserves to be passed over or downplayed. It is beautiful and heart-wrenching—a magnificent turn that displays his monumental ability to reach out and guide you into any world he decides to make his own.

I loved The Devil All the Time.

[bookwormmarii]

Air Awakens Series By Elise Kova Review

Summary- “A library apprentice, a sorcerer prince, and a unbreakable magic bond..”

Vhalla Yarl is a 17-year-old library apprentice who accidently saves the life of the dark-haired Crown Prince Aldrik and in doing so discovers her powers as the first known Windwalker in centuries.

Vhalla must decide if she will forsake her magic or leave the life she knowns to pursue her new destiny.

This world magic system derives from elemental magic, similar to the Avatar.

A lot of political intrigue, war strategies, & rivaling countries.

Opinions-

This was a good series I can see myself recommending to those new to fantasy. The magic system is easy to understand, writing is simple and easy to follow which makes battle scenes that much more bearable for me. Very fast paced, there is a clear beginning middle and end to each situation/problem. Although at times I felt the plot would take practically the whole book to start and then be over in the last 2-3 chapters.

The characters in my opinion had a great ark mainly Vhalla, she came so far from the Vhalla we met in the first book. Aldrik was also a great example of over coming many of his insecurities and addictions he faced earlier in the series.

The romance with the characters was beautiful but for during the 3-4 ish books it got a bit frustrating having them separated or in a way self-sacrificing for the others well-being. But their love was beautiful to see flourish and come to pass. By the final book seeing the deep trust, respect and admiration they had for one another was adorable.

The side characters where well fleshed out and had lives and personalities of their own that didn’t heavily rely or depend on the main protagonist needs or whims. I especially loved Jax’s characters definitely one that grew on me but the seriousness of his actions despite is joking personality was one I appreciated.

World building isn’t something I need full depth knowledge about to enjoy a novel but this series did a wonderful job at exploring different areas that had me wanting more and need to explore it all.

In each book the latter half carried all plot twist, “drama” and action pact scenes for the books and all left on a cliff hanger for the next book that picked up right after which I appreciated.

Final Thoughts-

This is a very easy series to get through and very bingeable. I would’ve loved for the Romance to be more slow burn, instead of this being together but being pulled apart or each party sacrificing themselves for the other type of romance.

I think this author is great and I would love to see more of her work.

Tropes-

Dark Brooding Prince/Librarians Apprentice

Elemental Magic

Bonds

Power Awakening

Magic Training

Nightmare/ Wound healing

Forbidden/ Secret relationship

Rating-

Air Awakens    3 Stars

Fire Falling     3 Stars

Earth’s End     4 Stars

Water’s Wrath 3 Stars

Crystal Crowned 4 stars

Over all 3.5 stars for the series

[alienahellsparkle]

❦ List fandoms of my heart: №3 (the last).

✯ Kuroshitsuji (Dark Butler)

This anime is my guide to the world of anime, my first of all, and the first that I liked. In addition, I have been watching it since I was 13 (omg, how old I am..).

I can say, from it I learned what anime is. It is one of my favorites and one of those that I can revisit (P.S .: And I'm still waiting for the new season or new full-length films, although no one said anything or promised anything about it).

The advantages of this anime are - interesting plots, 19th century setting mixed with the supernatural, soundtracks and a huge number of different characters for every taste. As I can tell, everyone will find their ideal 2D kun or chan here.

I could single out a lot of cool characters, but I'm afraid they could be spoilers too, so I'll just mention a few of my personal favorites.

Sebastian is a demon butler and another protagonist besides Ciel. A jack of all trades, a cool killer and one of the most real handsome men who stole many hearts from the female audience, who is in many similar tops and sometimes even has leading positions. I can say that he was my very first anime - love.

Prince Soma is an Indian prince. I don't know how many fans he has, but I think not as many as Sebastian and Ciel. Actually, Soma is the one who attracted me much more and my love for Sebastian did not last forever. This is because Soma, in addition to being beautiful and Indian (which was important to me as a lover of Bollywood films and music, and also interested in Indian culture), has a sweet and good personality. Three combos!

Madame Red is a bright woman with a difficult fate. I guess there isn't much more to say here (spoilers, spoilers, damn it).

Pluto is a devilish dog. Cutie, charming, with one cool ability and mine another anime-love (those who know this character and his unusual ability - yes - yes, I know it's weird to fall in love with characters like him).

As I said, the soundtracks are wonderful - some of the tunes have some classic notes in them, and also, the opening can be recognized from a thousand and it is easy to remember which anime it belongs to.

Also, there are elements of detective and crime, which also adds its own special shades and makes this anime even more interesting and aesthetically pleasing.

I look forward to continuing with it and begin to show interest in anime of a similar genre and setting in one (I found something similar, for example, as "House of Shadows").

✯ Dame x Prince 

Another anime that became my find and I can watch it many times. I liked it so much that after I found it (in 2018 it was a spring novelty), I watched almost all the episodes in one gulp and only later realized that it ends too quickly, because I could not stop in time.

This anime contains everything that I love about the reverse - harems - beautiful drawing, bright colors, romance, elements of comedy and fantasy, attractive male characters and not a stupid main character who can be respected.

We can say that Ani is one of the few normal owners of a harem, but she can be considered a diamond among them. She is encouraged by her courage and the fact that she is not embarrassed when guys compliment her or try to flirt (I could say more about her, but these will be spoilers).

Despite the fact that here the male characters are clichéd, for example - a kind cutie, handsome womanizer, narcissistic rude and so on, they look cool and interesting to watch, it's a pity that we will never know which of them Ani chose in the end.

In addition, there is one more plus in the form of a good plot, after which it helps some characters to reveal themselves.

Even if many people do not always take girly harem animes well and consider them worthless and empty, just to please teenage girls with cute romance in a colorful wrapper, this anime genre also deserves a place to be. Who knows, maybe soon the reverse - harems will evolve even more, at least there are already some anime-worthy options. Everything has its fans..

In general, this is a good and positive anime that can bring more colors to life. And I still hope for season 2.. 

✯ Nanbaka

When you watch a video on the topic: "Guess the gender of anime characters", you will not think that in this way you will be able to discover a new anime. That's how I found out about Nanbaka, after which I watched the first season in a couple of days.

I associate this anime with the beginning of July 2018 and the dairy drinks Twix, Milky Way and Snickers, which at that time I was finally able to taste.

Nanbaka has several advantages - a cool variety of characters, an element of comedy, and an equally vibrant color scheme. Also, I noticed that all characters have their own special difference - they all have nails painted in a different color and have small fangs.

Despite the fact that there is no romance here and the plot is built around a prison theme, Nanbaka is quite interesting to watch, and in some episodes there are elements of drama and seriousness. However, if the first season is more comical situations, then the second season is a little more serious, at least there are more problems that the heroes solve.

Of the characters, there are not only bisonens and heroes with simple qualities including kindness, cuteness, foolishness, signs of a womanizer, hot temper and severity, but there are also unexpected specimens, such as several LGBTQ characters and even antagonists.

Unfortunately, Nanbaka is not a very popular fandom and most likely there will never be a third season... But this is another solid anime that can be endlessly watched and is one of those that drags on from the first episodes.

✯ Romance Club

This visual novel often came across to me in YouTube recommendations, in the form of walkthroughs and analysis of Easter eggs from it.

At first, I was not very interested in this, and from the video, my first impression was that this is just an incomprehensible game with characters similar to cardboard figures, but for some reason it became very popular and discussed on social networks.

After some time, I still began to watch the walkthroughs and more or less began to understand what the whole highlight of the game is, and after that, I began to play myself, though at the beginning, then, I had only a plan to while away the rest of summer time until autumn, but I didn’t notice how I began to be drawn into the RC and it became not just a game for one time, it became a habit that is difficult to get rid of.

Now, it's not just a bunch of pretty cardboard character figurines and a joke that RC is a mix of films like "50 Shades of Gray" and "Twilight", made for teenage girls.

Romance Club is - characters for every taste, from whites and Europeans, to Hispanics and Asians, both boys and girls. LGBTQ relationships have not been forgotten here either.

Various stories with any setting - vampires + werewolves, pirates, aliens, 19th-18th century, royal setting, movie stars and fame, Scandinavian mythology, ancient Greek mythology, sea and beach setting, detectives and crime, ancient Japan (geisha and samurai) , angels and demons, everyday life and much more, but the creators continue to delight us with new stories to this day, and I think we still have a lot to see.

Beautiful graphics and drawing of characters, cool design of clothes, and also, here you can learn how to beautifully compose texts and sentences (let's say this can be useful for the writing sphere), since some stories contain wonderful descriptions of some scenes and comparisons of concepts (example. "Stars as luminous points," and the like).

But besides romance, other important topics can be revealed here, such as the concept of friendship, a hard life due to many problems, courage and self-confidence, and sometimes even 18+ topics can be touched upon. In addition, some stories have instructive facts, for example, something about the history of Turkey during the Ottoman Empire. 

Romance Club is scientifically enlightening!

Despite the fact that I refused to play games, since they take a lot of time, during which you can do a bunch of other useful things, RC is the only game (besides the Sims) on which I do not regret wasting my time and it is always interesting to watch new stories and how the old ones will end.

(P.S.: 

here is part 1 https://lenahellsparkle.tumblr.com/post/650656683336548352/list-fandoms-of-my-heart-1

part 2 https://lenahellsparkle.tumblr.com/post/655103141583470593/list-fandoms-of-my-heart-2)

[lovee-infected]

hi hi!!! i love your vil analysis post!! just wondering though...why does vil force epel to do traditionally “cute, feminine” things. i get that it’s, like, to counter neige for the vdc, but it kind of goes against vil’s ideology? like, how i see it, vil advocates for people to express themselves how they want without being bound by gender roles. i feel like if epel tried forcing his manliness ideology onto other people, he’d be justified in his “forcing epel to do cute things” plan, but i don’t think epel has ever shamed feminine guys? he just wants to be manly himself. could this be an allusion to how the evil queen turned ugly just to fulfill her goals? vil going against his core ideals and becoming “ugly” just to win?

Glad you enjoyed it dear! As for your question, I believe that'll be better if I go into details because I've seen many asking similar questions regarding chapter 5, and I guess that's causing some misunderstandings towards both Vil and Epel. Well, we're soon getting the rest of the Pomefiore Chapter, so I guess it's the best time for an analysis on Epel and Vil's relationship and how Chapter 5 has been going so far

First off, let me state something really really important about the Pomefiore chapter, this arc has got pretty wild spirits that are quite new compared to the previous chapters. We've got Neige, the first RSA character to appear as a real rival of a NRC student, Vil and Epel's rough relationship, Ace and Deuce joining MC on the new adventure once again and finally, the VDC: an event with is potentially important to not only the whole NRC but also Twisted Wonderland!

While all fans are surely excited to see what we'll be going through next, there are quite a few of misunderstandings and wrong interpretations that are considerably important regarding the Pomefiore chapter. In order to avoid possible dramas and more misinterpretions between the fans, let's try to take a better look at this Chapter and important Pomefiore hints that we've got so far:

(1)Epel's feelings; the most important element of chapter 5

One of the quite brilliant facts about Chapter 5, is the unique presence of characters and their roles in the story. This might seem quite unrecognizable, but right now Epel's appearance is effecting the audience way more than Vil's! This arc is mainly focusing on making the audience feel his pain and hard time, and I can say that they're doing it pretty well! We'll talk about how his feelings are being presented in part (6). Now, you may wonder why his feelings are so important in the Pomefiore arc? Isn't it supposed to be mostly about Vil? Well of course, the story is most likely leading us to Vil's overblot so he's the heart of this chapter, but the important thing is too see how crucial Epel's role is here. Watching how Epel is in pain, silenty crying and forced into doing something that he doesn't want to by Vil is savagely effecting this fandom's interpretation of Vil, some are commenting on how he's the worst or how horrible he is or hundreds of not really friendly critiques which is awfully frustrating... We'd continue to talk about this point in part (5)!

(2) Epel's relationship with Vil

Let's review what we've got through the side stories. To begin with, Epel obviously doesn't really like Vil, (I'm trying to cooperate and not say that he hates him) he didn't appreciate having him as the dorm leader from the very beginning. But he's got some strong reasons to dislike Vil so we can't really blame him:

1)Vil slapped him all of a sudden just because of his poor posture at the dinner table 2)Vil almost crashed Epels head between his hands while teaching him some manners 3)Vil's idealistic are just the opposite of Epel's 4)Vil is trying to change Epel, especially during chaptet 5. It sometimes feels like Vil is treating Epel like his puppet and Epel doesn't appreciate this all.

At the end of his SR lab story Epel stated how he's going to study his hardest in magic and potions, so maybe at some point he'd beat Vil, which goes to prove that he considers Vil a rival.

"Why is it so though? Isn't this pretty risky for Epel to challenge Vil, especially as Vil is a dorm leader and Epel's just a first year who's still an amateur at magic?"

Farewell, let me mention something about Epel, he's got a really strong will to the point of not giving up until proving everyone wrong. He's often looked down on, is called to be useless and dumb, and is sometimes insulted for being innocent and naïve. True, he still has a lot he needs to learn and he's aware, but he won't take being underestimated easily.

Just look at him! He's been raised in a farm and he still found his way to this school filled with stunning students coming from noble families while Epel is a simple country boy! He proved the point to us once again in his lab coat story where Crewel gave him an impossible task just to push him into giving up and coming to apologize afterwards. When Epel realized that he was just tricked by Crewel, he felt quite frustrated and started to cry, yet he didn't give up and used his personal experiments and what he'd learned back in his farm life and paved his road to success and impressing everyone including Crewel!

This is why he isn't backing up now, he doesn't want and isn't going to lose to Vil. Another important reason might be how Vil seems to have control over Epel, his manners, his attitude, the way he looks and basically, the person Epel is. Epel has indirectly said that Vil may be currently bounding his actions and life, but someday this will change. He mentioned similar lines several times and you can see he really has a strong will to prove everyone, especially Vil, that he's not a cute apple boy to sit still and look pretty. And if he's been waiting for the right time to stand against Vil, chapter 5 has got it. In part (7) you'll see why.

(3)What is happening in chapter 5?

Okay before we continue, let's just focus on what we've got in Pomefiore chapter: This year's vocal and dance championship has an unbelievable amount of media focused on it , because two of the world-famous influencers,Vil Schoenheit & Neige Leblanche, are joining. Both are great influencers and talented designers, but recently Neige has been getting really popular through the social media and TV, thus Vil realizes that the time to face his well-known rival, Neige, has come.

The VDC is no joke to him because hundreds of people are coming to watch this competition between two Celebrities, and his career is surely at risk. If the VDC doesn't go as well as he's planned, that'll be an end to his fame and clout, possibly his whole career! Therefore he has to make sure that nothing is going to ruin his plans for the big day, and that's why he is going to use his ultimate weapon, the red poisoned apple. Note that this isn't just about Vil, it's about protecting NRC's clout against RSA as well, so losing the VDC would seriously effect NRC's picture throughout the whole twisted wonderland. So a really important part of NRC's future is relying on Vil's hands right now.

Look, unlike the previous chapters, Vil's story is about nothing fictional or exaggerated; it's something that's pretty normal to see in real life! Two famous fashion designers joining a competition, both are giving in their best, aren't planning to lose, are going to be awfully strict towards training their models and making sure that nothing would be messed up, and are SERIOUS about winning because losing it to the other side would end in losing their clout and having the reports of their unfortunate fall-down spread worldwide.

Unlike the previous overblots, Vil's strictness and seriousness has NOTHING to do with being evil or crazy, he's just doing what he's supposed to be doing, working his hardest to defend his career. Anyone else who were in Vil's shoes would've done the same, and nothing about it chaotic, heartless or mad. His being pretty strict towards Epel because he's his main hope, Epel is the perfect beauty material and is definitely capable of achieving all the best through the VDC, that's why Vil's counting on him. Just as a fashion designer is strict with training their model, Vil is all serious with his way of couching Epel. And it's just about being professional, not being evil!

(4) It's not about Vil, it's about Epel

This is more of a continuation to part (3), but let's talk seriously about how wrong chapter 5 is being interpreted. "Vil is the worst! Can't he see that Epel doesn't want this?" or "Ew gross! People like Vil who use others for their very own benefits are just horrible" are some of the aggressive comments I've recently heard about how Vil is doing in Chapter 5, which is mainly because of Epel. I mentioned that Epel's feelings are most important element of chapter 5 and this is why!! Vil isn't doing anything that savage or mean but his actions seem to be a lot more appealing to fans due to how Epel's frustration and pain is being focused on. It's not because of Vil, it's because of Epel. Vil had been just the same with Leona back in the fairy gala event and most of the fans considered the story to be much of a comedy, but when Vil's treating Epel just the same way it sounds mean, cruel, harsh and heartless. See what I meant? Epel's presence was crucial to give Vil an evil perspective and make him seem just as bad as Azul or Leona.

I'm not defending his action since Epel as well is surely under a serious pressure. He doesn't even want to be joining the VDC, let alone having to follow all these strict rules that Vil's been teaching him so far. But since Epel forcedly made the deal with Vil and promised to help him for the VDC, there's no turning back now. Vil is counting on him as his very last hope and is putting his hardest of work and effort into training Epel, just like any professional fashion designer would've done.

(5)Vil is NOT the Evil Queen!

As for Vil's biggest difference with the Evil Queen, I must say that Vil does really work his hardest for what he desires. Evil Queen simply wanted Snow White dead while we've got Vil, working his ass off preparing everything for the VDC. He isn't just going to get mad and envies of Neige because his becoming popular, he doesn't want Neige dead either. All Vil has been doing so far was working and working and working and getting to be called cruel and heartless in return, I mean can't you just feel the amount of effort and nerve he's giving into work?

See, a considerable majority of the fandom is exaggerating the story of chapter 5 while Vil hasn't even shown a simple sign of having any ill intentions or evil plans in mind! We don't know what is going to happen i the next episodes but let's say that he hasn't done a single evil thing so far.

Just take a look at previous chapters! Leona was openly planning to unfairly harm and injure other students and Azul fooled nearly 200 students, took away their magic and forced them to work for him in Mostrolounge until they graduate from the very beginning. Heartslabyul and Scarabia weren't as severe as these two but they still did have some sort of a visibly unhealthy aura. Vil's current impression as the villain of chapter 5 is high-kay normal and chill compared to the previous chapters as he literally has done nothing evil so far, NOTHING. Most of the fandom is currently giving him the malicious aura that he doesn't have, or at least he doesn't yet have. Look, Vil's just doing his job. This doesn't even have anything to do with the Evil Queen! Also, Vil's rival ship with Neige has nothing to do with beauty, it's about fame, net-worth and popularity.

We don't know if he'd come up with any ill plans or serious intentions to harm Neige or anyone else in the new episodes, but his current impression in nothing more than going hard on Epel as his coach which is just being overly exaggerated by the fandom. A real life fashion designer would've done JUST the same thing! I know that this story is most likely going to end in Vil's overblot and him revealing his inner villain but come on, he hasn't done anything horrible so far!

(6)How Epel is being presented through Chapter 5

This point is the cause of many misunderstandings and confusions regarding Chapter 5, many find the context of Epel being forced to do what he doesn't like so cruel, some on the other hand are confused becaused Vil has clearly stated that his terms of beauty are gender neutral, so why would he force Epel to do these in the first place? As I said before, it's because of Epel, not Vil.

When it comes to perspectives on beauty, Epel's idealistics are just the opposite of Vil's. Look, Epel hates being mistaken with a girl or being considered soft and cute, this is something that has been bothering him for quite a long time. Being misgendered because of his appearance all over his life has had some negative effects on his perspective toward anything cute or feminine, as it just reminds him as how he often gets misunderstood because of his unwanted appearance and cuteness. Epel is awfully similar to Deuce and wants nothing more than getting to reveal the manliness he's holding within, through not only tastes but also abilities.

This is why he's been feeling quite uncomfortable in chapter 5 because Vil's basically pushing him into doing what he hates the most, looking cute and, well, something that Epel would consider feminine. The thing is, Vil does not consider stuff like 'Being able to sing beautifully, performing eye-catching movements voice, wearing stunning clothes and applying makeup' feminine at all, to Vil these are gender neutral terms of beauty and he doesn't get why Epel might consider them girlish or feminine either. Epel's comment on not wanting to do girlish things sounded naïve and low key rude to Vil because beauty isn't bound to being male or female, and he doesn't appreciate the idea of these works being called girlish at all.

This is neither Epel nor Vil's fault, it's just the difference in idealistics.

(7) Vil's on thin ice right now

Let me tell you a secret, 'choosing Epel to become the red poisoned apple wasn't an accidental act AT ALL'. Vil has been watching over Epel ever since he entered NRC and this is why he was so strict about changing this "Mudded potato" into a well-behaved Pomefiore student. Vil knew Epel's name and had discussed his case with Rook right at Epel's first day, and this is why he treated Epel so harshly at the dinner table because his plan to turn Epel into his red poisoned apple had already begun. He was preparing Epel from the very beginning and was just expecting the big day to arrive, the day he'd need Epel to defeat his rival, Neige.

Remember that I said how Epel's been waiting for a chance to stand against Vil and how Chapter 5 would be his BEST opportunity to do this? Before we explain this point, let's have a review on how Vil has been effecting and changing him so far. During his first days in NRC, Epel was more comfortable with shouting, fighting and opposing to other students including Vil. He used to disagree until Vil slapped him but now in Chapter 5, he doesn't even say a word when Vil tells him to do something, he just silently obeys as tears fall from his eyes. He no longer fights back as much as he used to.

But right now, Vil's career, status and future is bound to Epel. Vil has been working harder than ever trying to turn him into the Red poisoned Apple he's been expecting him to become, and if Epel backs up or decides to ruin the show and stop letting Vil have control over him, that'll seriously make Vil explode. And if you think that Vil deserves to be hurt like this, I gotta say that he doesn't, he seriously doesn't deserve this after all he's been going through. Just imagine being on Gil's shoes, how would you feel about having the result of all that hard work and effort you've given into work for YEARS ruined like this? Look, we need to judge this situation nonetheless, even is you don't really like Vil it's important to realize the unfairness of this possible future to the story.

Epel now has the opportunity to BREAK Vil like no one has ever done, after all Vil has been going through to coach Epel, teach him manners, change his nature and prepare him for the VDC this would certainly be the worst thing that may happen to him and it'll make him mad, like really really mad. The Vil we've seen through the story so far was nothing more than Vil's normal calm self so we can't even imagine how it might be to see him mad. At this point he won't be bound to any manners or consderations, and keep this in mind: "We won't like it when Vil is evil, and we can't imagine how evil he can be,"

I'm honestly so excited and terrified at the same time to see what we'll get to see in the rest of the Pomefiore chapter, the atmosphere is so nerve-wrecking right now and I can't help but to pray that the rest of this story doesn't traumatize us as much as it can- “Yana please, have mercy on us”

[neon-junkie]

Don't let those pricks get to you rat, your writing is amazing!!! Could i request hcs for flaco, javier, arthur and charles being sweet on someone (f) who afraid to get involved because they were hurt emotionally in the past?

Thank you!! sorry this one took a while to do. Arthur and Charles aren’t my strong points, despite all my love for them, so hopefully everybodys in character :0)  This is also a big mood cause I personally can’t get with people since I was emotionally hurt, but just a reminder that this too shall pass. Good things will happen and you cant stop them >:) 

----

Flaco

Despite Flaco's rough and intimidating appearance, he's extremely understanding and super gentle when he needs to be.

He just has an aura that you can trust, you know? Why would this man go around telling people your business? That's unnecessary drama, and Flaco ain't about that.

So you open up to him quite quickly. He'll chat with you a while before sending you off on a job, letting you open up at your own pace.

He's sooo sweet on you, so mushy, so flirtatious.

Flaco has no problem with confidence or confronting people, but he takes it down a few notches when it comes to you. He doesn't wanna scare you away.

He starts with small comments, calling you beautiful, giving you his own personal Spanish nickname, telling you to 'stay warm' whenever you leave his cabin to go off on a mission.

His hands often linger against yours when he hands you your pay, his eyes on you to pick up on any signs of discomfort.

He'll pay you silly amounts for the simplest of missions. It's far too obvious that this man is so sweet on you and clearly doesn't want to give you any dangerous work.

Flaco continues to keep his flirting at the same level, giving you the time and space to warm up to him. He understands what it's like, having trauma that prevents you from progressing with your life.

So the first time you flirt back he goes mental on the inside. His heart is pounding, he feels sick, his heads fuzzy. You'll see him grinning ear to ear. He wants to tell you how proud he is of your progress but doesn't want to talk about such a touchy subject.

Instead, he flirts back, not bothering to try and hide his smile from you. He'll continue to give you time and space, letting you choose the pace for this eventual relationship.

Eventually, you'll physically warm up to him one night. Sitting beside him by the fire in his cabin, opening up about your past, Flaco listening closely and letting you rant.

You're the one to show you're ready, leaning against his shoulder, the thick fur of his coat soft on your cheek.

He smiles to himself but apologizes to you. "Mi amor, I can't hold back when you're cuddling up to me like this. Come here," he says as he scoops you up, moving you so you're sat in between his legs, your back pressed against his chest.

He's so cozy, you practically melt into him. "I'm proud of you," he finally tells you as he holds onto you for the first time.

Javier

The first time you opened up to Javier, the two of you were sat at the campfire. He was gently strumming his guitar, fiddling about with a tune he recently learned.

His eyes and ears may be focused on the instrument, but you know his heart and soul are focused on you, letting you open up slowly.

He doesn't ask too many questions, doesn't push any boundaries. Just lets you talk and rant, maybe cry against him if you need to.

Javier understands where you're coming from, he understands what love can do to a person.

From then on, Javier pays close attention to you.

He always asks how you are whenever he sees you. In the mornings, when you pass by him at camp, when you're getting dinner, etc. It's nice to have someone show how much they care.

He'll do the occasional activity like fishing with you, mostly so he can enjoy some alone time with you, giving you a comfortable environment to open up more if you choose to.

Javier tends to stay by your side at camp. Strumming his guitar or having a cigarette whilst you get your chores done. He's glued to you.

Tilly and Mary-Beth eventually sit you down just so they can say "you do know Javiers real sweet on you, right?"

As much as you appreciated that, it was a tough conversation to have, telling them you like him too but avoiding the reasoning behind not getting with him. Thankfully, they leave you to go at your own pace.

Javier stays up with you one night. The two of you were tired but having a deep conversation.

He's sat next to you, talking away about his life in Mexico, relating to something you mentioned about your life.

You don't even realize you're doing it but your head comes to rest on Javier's shoulder.

He continues to talk though he's clearly noticed it.

His eyes drift down to look at you, smiling as he notices you've fallen asleep on him.

Javier lets you rest there, eventually dozing off against you after whispering "look how far you've come, hermosa," and gently kissing your head.

Arthur

Oh boy.

Arthur doesn't 'have a way with words' but the way he looks at you is so gentle and heartwarming.

You instantly felt safe the first time you met Arthur. He has a kind aura to him, though he always denies it.

Arthur found you sat alone at the campfire one night. He greeted you, asking why you weren't asleep, asking if you were cold.

Yes, it's cold, but you're too lazy to move and fetch a jacket. So Arthur insists on giving you his, placing it over your shoulders as he takes a seat beside you.

It's the perfect setting to open up to him. Arthur talks about his past relationships and how he finally views them as toxic, despite not realizing at the time.

You've both been in similar situations, so Arthur has genuine sympathy for you.

He lets you open up at your own pace, reminding you often that he's always there for you. Whatever you need, he'll be sure to get it.

Despite hearing Arthur say "I understand" often, you know he understands without having to hear him say it. You just know.

Arthur always checks in on you, asking how you are whenever he passes by, but when the two of you are alone he'll go "seriously, how are ya? there ain't anyone around. If you need to talk, I'll be here to listen."

It's hard not to be sweet on Arthur.

Despite the trauma, your entire body is shouting at you to go for it, do something, show him that the feelings are mutual.

So when you finally ask Arthur to come into town with you, he's quick to say yes, getting embarrassed for just how quickly he screamed "YES!" at you.

"I mean, sure. We'll go when you're ready." He's blushing heavily hehe.

You two spend your time doing things you enjoy, Arthur tells you specifically that this is your day, that he's just here to keep you company whilst you do your shopping.

Before you head back to camp, you stop by the Saloon for a few drinks. Arthurs stood beside you on the balcony, overlooking the town, gossiping away with you about whatever.

"Now, I apologize for interrupting you, but I just gotta say this. ___, you've come so far. It ain't easy, trust me, I know. But I'm real proud of ya. Remember that, alright?"

Dammit, just give him a kiss already!

Charles

Charles isn't much of a talker, but he's a fantastic listener.

He nods often just so you know he's listening, sometimes asking short and simple questions, giving you as many signs as possible that he's focused on you.

He's a bit of a loner who doesn't really open up to people, so you know you can trust him. Plus he just has that vibe, why would he waste his time spreading other people business?

You know you can trust him, especially because he gets along well with other trustworthy camp members like Arthur.

Charles is usually just company, like, it's nice to have another persons presence there. You can be sat doing whatever chores you're doing and Charles will be nearby, having a cigarette or his morning coffee.

You put your things down and go to stand up, but Charles urges you to stay there. "I'll go get it," he tells you, quick to his feet as he hurries to get whatever you need.

The first time you two really bonded was when Charles was helping you do your hair. He braids his own hair so he knows how hard it can be, so he offered to lend a hand when he saw you doing yours.

It felt nice to open up to someone, to let it all off your chest, to brush some weight off your shoulders.

"It's good you're finally talking about it," Charles tells you, keeping things simple.

Charles is quick to pick up on whenever you're struggling, and he's noticed you have been lately. There's small signs like not eating all of your food, staying awake late, keeping to yourself, etc.

He asks to take you fishing. Something nice and relaxing. You get some time away from camp and as a bonus, some time with Charles.

Charles suggests taking Taima to give your horse some rest, and lets you choose where you want to be seated.

He does everything he can to make you comfortable. He's gentle when he helps you off his horse, though his hands linger against yours for longer than they needed to.

The two of you talk whilst you fish, eventually spiraling into another deep conversation.

You've never seen Charles look so flustered before, finally seeing him in that state when you allow yourself to flirt back.

He stumbles on his words a bit, but eventually manages to tell you how proud he is.

"It's good to see you getting past though boundaries. They're hard to break down, I know, but I'm proud of you for doing it. And you should be proud of yourself!"

[theteddylupinexperience]

Angel pt. 1 | Marcus Pike

AN: the bitch is back, this time with a Marcus Pike x reader fic! Subtly unsubtle Bones crossover here, the reader is part of Booth’s team because this is immensely self indulgent and I wanted to bring together my two favorite crime dramas. Stay tuned for part two, coming as soon as my brain gives me even a lick of inspiration!

Word count: 1290

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, kissing, shy!Marcus, mentions of Teresa deserve their own warning, too many mentions of Marcus’s shoulders

“You keep staring at her like that, your face will get stuck,” Booth laughs. Marcus looks away from you and Angela on the dance floor to glare at the man across the table.

“I have no idea what you’re talking-“ he starts, before glancing back over. You’ve thrown your head back with laughter at something Angela’s said to you, and the sound is like music to Marcus’s ears. He feels the tops of his ears get hot, and his heart beats erratically at the sight of you so care free. So angelic, dancing like a fool to whatever shitty pop remix is playing. Your cheeks are flushed from the heat of the club, and the alcohol coursing through your veins, and at that moment Marcus decides you are more beautiful than any painting he’s ever saved.

Angela leans over to whisper something in your ear, and you look over to the table where Marcus and Booth are sitting. Booth waves sarcastically, and you give him the finger and stick your tongue out playfully. Your gaze reaches a pair of warm brown eyes, and you positively beam at the man behind them. If Marcus thought his heart was beating quickly before, now he was worried about potential cardiac arrest.

He barely has time to collect his breathing before you’re skipping over to him.

“Hey boys,” Angela winks before sliding down next to Booth and grabbing whatever glass of water is left.

“Dance with me?” you ask Marcus, putting your hands on his shoulders and pouting as best you can before your fake sadness gives way to another round of cocktail induced giggles.

“Oh, I, uh, sure, okay,” Marcus stutters, and you bite your lip before taking his hands in yours and dragging him to the dance floor.

“Don’t you ever get tired?” He jokes.

“Me? No way, I never get a day off, I’m enjoying this to its fullest.”

“I gotta admit, the most experience I have is dancing at weddings.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you,” you smirk at him, taking his hands and setting them on your waist. You place your own on his broad shoulders and take a moment to admire the strength of this gorgeous man.

“You’re pretty,” you giggle.

“That’s the alcohol talking, sweetheart, the pretty one is you,” Marcus says seriously.

You flush, and this time neither the heat nor the alcohol have anything to do with it.

Angela had dragged your entire group to this club tonight after an excessively long work week. The Jeffersonian team and Marcus’s art crimes team had been working together a few months after the discovery of skeletal remains in a high traffic DC museum. Marcus was fresh to the city, nursing a broken heart and a chip on his shoulder. When you’d walked into the arts department of the FBI building, trailing along in the shadow of the lead agent, Booth, Marcus felt his heart skip a beat. He’d immediately shut down those feelings, unwilling to go through the same bullshit he had with Teresa. “Don’t shit where you eat, Pike,” he’d muttered to himself.

But you, you were different. Gorgeous and quick witted, always able to snap back at whatever jokes Booth made at your expense. Caring in the most simple ways, doing things without asking that Marcus realizes Teresa wouldn’t have even thought about. He’s barely given you the time of day, maintaining an absolutely professional relationship with you, yet you’ve already memorized how he takes his coffee, and you bring it to his office along with something to eat when you know he’s skipped lunch again. You allow him to open up to you strictly on his terms, never asking any prying questions or offering unsolicited advice.

“I get it, you know,” you had said once, after he was recounting the way Teresa had broken off their engagement over the phone. “I was with someone last year, someone I thought was it for me, and then out of nowhere he got back with his ex. And I still have to see them every day at work.” Marcus remembers how he had taken your hand in his wordlessly, and you’d stayed like that for awhile.

He’s suddenly aware of a hand waving in front of his face, and he’s brought back to the present.

“You disappearing on me, agent Pike?” you ask teasingly.

“Never,” Marcus smiles. Your confidence buckles under his gaze, and you look away shyly. He had to know how you felt about him, hell, everyone knew how you felt about him. You’re just surprised Angela hasn’t said something yet, ever the wing woman.

With his eyes never leaving you, you begin to wonder if he feels the same. Marcus had been a tough cookie to crack, a project you had taken on willingly and without being asked. You knew a broken soul when you saw one, one that mirrored your own. You hadn’t intended for anything to come from it past a potential friendship, but the more time you spent with the handsome FBI agent in front of you, the more you couldn’t help but feel like everything in your life had led up to this moment right here. You’re in Marcus’s arms, and he feels like home.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Marcus says, quirking his brow at your focused expression.

“I don’t understand how you’re single,” you say earnestly, and you watch a faint blush creep up his neck.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, fuck, like, have you seen you? You’re... perfect, Marcus.” You feel him stiffen in your arms at the sentiment, and you can’t help but run your thumb along his jaw soothingly.

“I mean it, I do,” you start, “it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, honey, but you deserve to know. And it’s not the alcohol talking.”

He smiles gently at your joke and turns his head to kiss your thumb. He tightens his arms around your waist to bring you closer.

“You’re an angel, you know,” he murmurs, leaning his forehead against yours. You lean up on your toes to brush your lips against his, softly, tentatively, giving him any and every opportunity to pull away if he needs. Instead, one of his hands slides up your body to tangle in your hair, and he pulls you impossibly closer to kiss you thoroughly. Everything about the way he kisses you is so entirely Marcus, his lips are softer than you could have ever dreamed, and when he glides his tongue against your bottom lip, it’s dizzying. His grip on you tightens as your knees buckle, and you keep yourself upright with your hands on his gorgeous shoulders.

When you finally break apart to breathe, Marcus doesn’t go far. He nuzzles his face into your neck, and nips delicately at the skin there.

“Is this real?” he asks, adorably shy as he stays hidden.

“It’s always been real with you, Marcus,” you feel him tense briefly, and then fully relax against you.

He kisses your cheek so sweetly you think you could cry, and then captures your lips with his again. You can’t help but chase him when he pulls away, and he smiles against you.

“You wanna get out of here?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Marcus takes your hand and leads you towards the door, and you wave goodbye to a grinning and giggling Angela and Booth before following him out.

“Do you wanna take a cab to mine?” Marcus asks, searching your face for any indication you might not be comfortable with his idea. A grin breaks across his face as you nod enthusiastically.

He kisses you once, twice, a third time, his lips lingering on yours after the last one.

“Let’s go, angel.”