#They will need help but that doesn't mean jumping in and removing the problem

[no-romo-yes-homo]

Thinking about how one of the main messages of X-Men is that you shouldn't try to fix people, you need to help them on their own terms

[mehiwilldoitlater]

If it is too much trouble could you write about Bián huá grooming Yuán Fèn after a big battle

When traveling, one gets dirty, and one doesn't have much time to clean themselves

Bajie would no doubt have fun at the youngster's expense 

"It's not necessary!"

"Yes, yes, it is. You stink." You smelled a little in your armpit; your nose frowned. "And so am I."

He looked around; the fog of the hotspring didn't give him enough visual of his surroundings, and that couldn't give you both a disadvantage in a fight. But the hot water... it was tempting.

He scratched his arm, but it was the nervousness that made him do that. To be honest, all of his body was in an itching mess, especially after your last mission.

You both had been on the road for some time, and you were returning from Yellow Wind Ridge. The sun, the bugs, the sand—you both were in need of a bath, and Yuán fèn? He needed a good grooming session. You could see the small flies jumping here and there on his furr, and trying to help himself wasn't helpful.

So, when you spotted the hotspring, you had an idea... that he regretted the moment you started to remove the upper part of your clothes.

"I can't smell anything! What if someone attacks us?!"

"Bajie is around, so it won't be a problem for now."

"I can do it by myself! I don't need you to help me with a grooming session!"

"You can't reach every part! Come on, you've been bathing with your sister when you were young!"

"That's... not the problem..." He mumbled, his cheeks and ears tinted in a soft shade of pink. You kept your top, and what it was supposed to be was a pair of boxers, so you weren't completely naked, you still had some privacy, and you immerged one foot in the warm water. 

"Off your clothes now."

"Do I have it?"

"I can't clen your back with your garmet on!" You try to reach his belt, but only to meet hair when he dodges and starts to oanick.

"Okay okay! I can do it myself!"

When he finally decided to get in the water, he kept his pants on, refusing to let you see more of his exposed body. By the movements of his tail, he must have been quite nervous. Despite the protests, the complaints, and his whining, in the right moment the warm waters of the spring touched his malnourished skin, a sigh of relief emanating from him. It was true; he really needed that, but he never said that he needed your assistance!

Sitting on a rock behind him, and with the help of a comb, you started to tend to his mane and skin, trying to catch every parasite or insect that had the luck to escape from the boiling.

He said that wasn't necessary. His skin was full of scratches and deep cute from his long and sharp nails. Scabs and new cute here and there, some lnots of fur that couldn't be reached, dandruff... Unnecessary your ass! He was a mess!

"Look at you. If you needed so much, you could just ask!"

"I didn't want to delay the mission." He mumbled, trying to clean his arm from more dust and dirt. The water had some spots from what was removed from him.

"It's a noble gest, but if you end up like this, then it's not a delay at all. Here, I'll do the head now."

You helped yourself with your bowl by pouring some of the water on his head, letting him lean against your tights. You started to scratch gently with the comb his furr, freeing him from more fleas and dead hair.

"Next time, let's bring some soap. It will help. We can even take out time and stay in a bath house."

"..."

"We can even deal with the money?....I mean, how many ingested bath houses can be found?"

"..."

"... Yuán fèn? Are you listening?"

Oh, how much he needed It. To the point that he completely lost consciousness. The water, the warmth, your soft skin, the head scratch... his senses were completely out. Then, you felt something, like a small vibration, coming from...

No, it couldn't be...

You brought your head nearer, avoiding sudden movements, and you felt it.

He was purring.

You had to cover your mouth to avoid to giggles and squeals for your new find out discovery.

Since when he was able to do that?! OOOHHH, how much you wish that your phone hadn't died a few days ago. After your arrival, you would love to have some videos of him like this!

You continued the session, enjoying the fact that he was literally melting in your hands. You both were completely in the moment when

"Enjoying the evening, are we?"

Bajie's voice was cracking by the laughter of the scene. The surprise of his sudden arrival caused your fall in the water, resulting in you gasping for air and him losing his balance on your legs, receiving a head bump on the rock.

You all left the hotspring for the night, with Bajie making some remarks about the sweet scene that he had witnessed, Yuán Fèn that still massaged his head, and you wondering how to make that monkey purr again.

@sun-jglim

@sleepingdramaqueen

@crimsonflameproxy

@everlastingmoonlightsworld

@biankanoir

@certifiedsimpinggalorempinggalore

@cromboloni

@miraclecherryblossomsblog

@masksandfeathers

@cinnamonroll-anon

@justrandomlypassing

@cute-angi @luckyangelballoon

@dressycobra7 @naarra

@virtualexpertanchor @phoenixeclipse-lmkau

@szynkaaa @kirax-the-lazy-girl

@sleepydang @weaverworks

@kishimiest @marcu-bug

[french-unknown]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: luffy, zoro, nami, usopp, sanji, robin 𝐂/𝐖: fluff 𝐖/𝐂: 1.6k +

| m a s t e r l i s t | - | p t . 2 | - | p t . 3 |

Luffy lay down with you as you gazed at the stars from the Thousand Sunny. You weren't on call tonight but the frustration you felt prevented you from falling asleep so, annoyed, you had to give up the idea. The problem was that Sanji had made cannelés for everyone the day before and, not being hungry, you had hidden your in order to eat it later. Unfortunately, when you went back earlier, your dessert had disappeared and you didn't want to disturb Sanji who had already finished cleaning the dishes for the day.

You sighed as Luffy talked next to you, creating wacky stories about the clouds passing in the night sky above you. Needing solitude, you got up to leave, not without taking advantage of his inattention to search his pockets as discreetly as possible. If there was anyone on this ship who might have food on them, it was him. But the boy had nothing but crumbs so you left wishing him good night.

Arriving further, however, you saw that some crumbs had remained stuck under your fingers then, when you tried to remove them, you noticed that they had remained because of their sticky layer. Intrigued, you realized that, in addition to the food residues being sticky, they were still fresh since they were still soft and they smelled slightly of rum and vanilla. You hesitated a little in disgust but ended up placing one of the crumbs on your tongue. It was a cannelés leftovers. In Luffy's pocket.

"You ate my dessert, jerk!"

Since this morning, Zoro has been blackmailing you into washing the dishes instead of him. You weren't very happy to see a photo of you, drunk with a tomato-red face, dancing furiously with movements so random that they looked like you were defending yourself against an attack of invisible seagulls. Having lost track of that evidence after he put it in his pocket, you were determined to get it back.

When you separated in town, you decided to leave with Zoro. Saying he was wary at first would be an understatement, but he eventually relaxed even though he kept a safe distance between you two. You had tried everything to get closer: to accelerate towards him, to pass in crowds, to try to jostle him "accidentally" or to attempt a fall towards him. However, nothing helped, he always remained a few steps away from you. Growing more and more frustrated with your failure, you let yourself be left behind without a struggle as you thought of other ways to bring it within reach.

Luckily for you, you saw him stop as you passed a sword shop. Totally hypnotized by one of the exposed blades, you seized your chance and thrust your hand into its pockets in search of the coveted object. Luck may not have been so on your side, though, because you found absolutely nothing. You had to remove your hands so he wouldn't notice the intrusion, still totally shocked to find nothing.

"You expect it to be easy?" you heard him ask sardonically as he continued on his way.

As you were about to go to the bar with some of the Straw Hat Pirates, you were brutally arrested when Nami refused to give you your share of the pocket money. In front of your incredulous face, she invoked the money she had to spend to repair the material damage you had caused during a fight on the previous island. Unless you pay her the interest on a so-called "at-risk" loan amounting to 300% of course.

Shocked at having been scammed, you jumped out of the ship anyway to join the others on the road. Just because you couldn't afford a drink yourself doesn't mean you weren't going to drink! However, on the way, you saw a berry note protruding from the back pocket of Nami who was walking in front of you while talking with Usopp. So you approached the duo innocently then, when you were close enough, you reached for the note. Sadly, your hand came into contact with something firm, warm and tight that stopped your hand before it could reach the paper of the ticket. You looked down, curious, and felt a bead of sweat slide down your spine as you realized that the firm, warm thing in question was actually Nami's hand holding you in a death grip. You had just enough time to raise your eyes to see her murderous smile pointed directly at you.

"Did you really think you were going to get me?" She asked too sweetly, unsheathing her Clima-Tact. "I think you need to be reframed."

It was no secret on the boat that, before joining the crew, you made money by scamming and robbing people who came to Rain Dinners, Crocodile's casino in Alabasta. Your pickpocketing tendencies were therefore well known to the crew.

However, while you were chased by Luffy on the boat because you were holding a piece of meat, you tripped over Usopp at the bend of a hallway. Neither of you saw the other coming so he remained frozen while you found yourself on all fours on top of him. For your part, old habits die hard and, with a gesture more instinctive than conscious, you slipped your hand into his pocket to remove trifles that you had recovered. It was Luffy's cry coming closer that pulled you out of your torpor and pushed you to get up and run with your loot. But a few meters away, you felt that your thieving hand began to heat up and sting without really worrying you at the time. It wasn't until you got to the other end of the ship and your hand began to seriously burn you that you wondered what was going on when, at the same time, the captain snatched the meat from your hands before running away happily to eat his treasure safely.

For your part, you collapsed on your knees, your aching hand folded against your chest as you winced in pain. In your fall, you saw what you had stolen from Usopp fall from your pocket to land in front of your eyes. There were two small balls of an alarming red accompanied by a small note written by the hand of the sniper: "For the thieves who cannot keep their hands to themselves".

He was hesitating between two kinds of melons at the market so, with a different fruit in each hand and totally lost in thought, he continued to weigh them before making a choice. Suddenly, he jumped when he heard your laughter behind him.

"Not that I'm complaining about the pleasure of your company but how long have you been around?" he asked, surprised. "A little moment." You answered.

Having finished shopping, you returned to the boat where Sanji immediately began to store the groceries. As he listened to you talk, he felt the urge to smoke. He jammed one of his cigarettes between his lips as he retrieved his lighter from his pocket. He was then surprised when he did not find it. Without cutting you into your story, he began to look in all the pockets of his suit: those at the front and back of his pants, those of his jacket and even inside it but there was nothing there. He was however convinced to have it on him before going to the market.

All of a sudden, you offered your help. Though surprised at the offer, he was still relieved as he followed your directions and leaned towards you with his cigarette still between his lips. Your face, now less than centimeters from his, seemed almost irresistible to him as his eyes lowered inexorably to your mouth. Warmth crept close to his face and, as he inhaled, he felt the smoke rush into his lungs. Silently, he looked down further and saw your hand below his face holding a lit lighter. A lighter so familiar that it took him two seconds to recognize it; it was his.

The meal with the Straw Hat Pirates was always something. It was noisy, messy and sometimes stressful but it was still a moment of happiness and sharing among your crewmates. Despite that, your only concern at the moment was how you were going to manage to steal Robin.

You had never picked the pockets of the archaeologist so, out of pure competition, you had it in your head to steal her at least once and, unfortunately for you, her only pocket was on her chest. Impossible to steal her like that. Yet, no matter how hard you tried to find solutions on how to position yourself, how to divert her attention and put her in confidence or even what opening to use, you couldn't. The target was much too close to eye level and the fabric too close to the body for her not to notice.

A sudden and unusual silence pulled you out of your thoughts. You then realized that everyone around the table had shut up and looked at you without saying a word. Robin on her side, sitting right in front of you, had partly covered her neckline with one of her hands, embarrassed.

"If you keep staring like that, you'll soon have to paid." Nami spoke from across the table.

Instantly, a blush bloomed on your cheeks as you tried to defend yourself by stammering pitifully. Whatever you say about the rest of the meal, everyone looks at you suspiciously and you end up keeping your head stubbornly turned towards your plate.

𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @iheartamora @bontensh0e @opchara @idsmash717

[cannibalizedlove]

hi hi! Could I request an Elio x ftm reader smut? One where reader has had top surgery but not bottom and Elio is expressing that he doesn't care, if anything prefers it for "convenience"? Just him being himself with a boy he loves, like causal dominance (making sure he's cared for 24/7) leading up to smut? I hope i'm not being too detailed 😭

Hi hi! Thank you for your request! You weren’t being too detailed, I enjoy more fleshed out requests so I can fully support your needs! This is my first time writing smut, so I hope it isn’t too terrible!

Just the way you are.

Information and warnings — FTM reader, fluffy smut, dysphoric reader, Elio being horny as always, soft dom/whiney dom Elio.

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” You asked your boyfriend, Elio. The two of you were laying down on his couch, cuddling him as he read his book with his free hand gently caressing your hair.

“Hmm? What’s weird, sweetheart?” Elio put his book on his leg, pages side down, turning his head to give you his full attention.

“You know, I have one of the surgeries but not the other? I just don’t feel like it’s very.. manly I guess.” You admitted, embarrassed about your body.

You had your top surgery done earlier in the year, and were extremely happy with the results. Your chest had always given you extreme dysphoria so having it done was like a weight taken off your shoulders. Elio was so happy with your new found confidence, and constantly reminded you how much of a handsome boy you were.

He made it his mission to make sure you were happy with your body, and would take you swimming just so he could compliment you on how sexy you were with your shirt off.

Whenever you were feeling dysphoric, he would always bring you a bowl of fresh picked fruit from the garden, and would tell you that you were the most gorgeous man he’d ever met. He’d play you gorgeous songs on his piano, and would always write you notes about how handsome you were.

“Amore mio, that’s not weird at all. If you’d like to have the surgery, I’ll be here every step of the way to help you recover, but it’s not a problem with me at all. If anything, I kinda like it, easy access.”

Elio added a wink at the end and kissed your neck, making your cheeks flush a dangerous red color. He recklessly threw his book on the coffee table and began attacking your neck with more kisses.

“Elio..” You whimpered out, earning a smirk you could feel against you. “Easy access? What do you mean?” You asked breathlessly, your body heating up by the second as he nipped your ear and sucked on your neck, resulting in a decently sized purple splotch.

“I can so easily take my boy whenever I want, you’re always soaked for me. I can bend you over whenever I want, angel.” Elio whispered softly, rubbing your hips gently.

As you whined, he looked up at you with pleading eyes, silently asking for your permission to go any further. When you nodded yes, he jumped for the opportunity like a hungry animal.

Elio had thrown his shirt off over his head, and crashed his lips into yours, biting your bottom lip in the process. You felt like the room was a hundred degrees, and you began to feel yourself soaking through your boxers.

He slowly snaked his hands into your swim trunks, rubbing circles around your clit. His lips moved down to your chest and left love bites all around your nipples, softly sucking on the both of them.

You felt like you were melting, you were moaning incessantly and tugging on Elio’s hair with enough grip to have him groaning along with you. Your back was arched, with your eyes screwed shut. Elio ceased all action just to take in the sight of you.

“Fuck baby, you’re such a gorgeous boy. My gorgeous boy.” Elio moaned out, undoing his shorts and sliding them down. He was now sitting in between your legs, with your ass on his lap, allowing your crotch to be on full display.

Elio hastily removed your boxers, practically drooling at the sight of you unclothed, just for him. He brought his thumb back to your clit, and you grabbed onto him, squeezing his forearm while whining out his name.

He took off his own boxers, his hard on hitting his lower stomach. “Is this okay? Are you ready?” He asked, cupping your cheek. Elio knew about your insecurities with your body, so he would always check up on you and make sure it was okay for him to go any further.

“Yes more than okay, please, I need you.” You pleaded, and with that, he pushed his entire length into you.

“Fuck, angel. You’re so fucking good.” Elio cried out, wasting no time and instantly slamming back into you. At this point you were an incoherent mess, you were babbling nonsense and all you could fully say was his name.

“You feel incredible baby boy, you’re so perfect.” Elio bent over and kissed you, only breaking the kiss to let out whiney moans and to whisper compliments to you. Your legs started to shake and you swore you saw stars, your nails dug into his back and released on his length inside you.

Soon after your undoing, his hips began to stutter, and his pace was becoming slower and slower. One last thrust and he had came all over the both of your chests. His curls were stuck to his forehead, and his eyes were half lidded. Elio took his boxers from the floor and wiped the both of you down, tossing them back down to wash later.

Your face was completely red, and your mouth hung open, completely fucked out, Elio’s favorite state of you. You pressed your forehead to his and held him close, panting together.

“You’re my boy, I love you just the way you are.” Elio said with a kiss.

[vitanithepure]

Gale's romance

To absolutely nobody's surprise I am back with my thoughts about Gale and I am honestly surprised how many of you still follow me and interact with what I have to say, love you all so much 😭

Again, a freaking long one (over 1200 words, I wrote fanfics shorter than this...), but I need to get it all out of my system to properly function. Of course spoilers for Gale's story and a bit of the main storyline.

First of all - his introduction. Not less of a jump-scare, but somehow this one seemed to fit him better? He doesn't come out of the portal and begin judging our capabilities, instead we help him out, and if anything - I felt an instant level of sympathy for the wizard falling face first on the ground straight out of an unstable portal.

His bashful "I'm usually better at this."? It just served to even out the field and I love it. I was literally sitting there grinning at the screen and thinking "oh, how the mighty have fallen" :D

We still get all the talks known from EA (apart from the failed spell one? Did anyone manage to trigger it? Did they remove it?), so I won't be going over them again, because there is still a lot of new stuff to go through. Although they seem to fire up differently and it makes Gale seem a lot more considerate. Sure, at first he still hides the exact reasons and I still think it's understandable. In my playthrough he brought up his orb problem on the road, in front of the others with us claiming we need to know about it. 

He even leaves us the decision if we want him to stay or not, but we cherish this man in this house, so I have no idea what goes down if and how he leaves. Not really interested in learning that, too.

Him showing us the Weave was as wonderful as it used to, didn't notice any changes here, then again - why change something that just…works? And now, in hindsight, I cannot help but see how it sets the tone for the whole relationship with him, be it romantic or otherwise. He shows you this part of him he loves, tries to show because even he, with all his eloquence, cannot find the right words to express what magic means to him.

I feel as if he was not expecting much from it, judging by the mumbling, adorable mess we made of him just imagining a walk, hand in hand. As we learn later (much later, but I think it's important to mention it here) he never considered being this close to anyone after the orb fiasco. Not because he still loves Mystra but rather he realizes how much of a risk it brings. He himself calls himself a "menace" and that, for me, speaks volumes about his character. 

Ok, now onto the new parts, previously unavailable in the EA. 

I mentioned my reaction after the first talk with Elminster in another post, but I'll say it again: fuck Mystra. 

I was worried that there might not be a way to rid Gale of this cursed orb, I was bracing for the possibility that there might not be a happily-ever-after here. Because he seemed set on going along with Mystra's wishes, and I felt bad for standing between the man and his honest faith. Misguided, not fanatical, just honest faith.

I was thinking "yeah, this will probably happen at the end of the game, we'll cross that bridge when we get there". BUT… one moment we are fighting Kethric Thorm and the next Gale is ready to sacrifice himself. "Wait, it's too soon, it can't end like this, WHAT THE HELL is going on?" 

"Fun" fact? Gale can really do it from what I saw and it just… ends the game right there and then. I am not ever going to even consider that a viable option, for anyone. It just makes me sick thinking about it in hindsight.

So yeah, no, sorry Mystra, we are not going along with your stupid plan. It really feels like he went along with it in a shell shock state through the whole act II of the story and it made me feel so bad for him. Gale felt like a complete shadow of himself since his first talk with Elminster.

Can you look me in the eye and with a straight face tell me a man ready to die makes a whole fucking illusionary world for just the two of you, shows you his home, his safe place, tells you he loves you and gives you his all? Yeah, yeah, you can tell me "he doesn't want to regret anything", but that's the point! He already regrets so much, and that means he is not ready to become vapor!

So, in the style of Meredith Grey, we go all in with "choose me" and…wow, does he ever. It was like a switch went off, Gale instantly is back to his old self, already having a plan to make it all work. A terrible idea, worthy of the 10 wisdom stat, mind you, but an idea still.

Of course in the meantime we get another visit from Elminster, who drops a few - actually good! - words of wisdom Gale's way and says Mystra wants to talk. Of-fucking-course she wants to, her pet refused to die and she can't fathom why.

I know the talk can go differently depending on what you suggest him to say, I don't know if we can skip the talk altogether and what are the consequences of that, but on my first playthrough I actually encouraged him to seek forgiveness and the talk went… fucking awful if you ask me. Is there a honest to god good way to do this talk? 

Hated it when Mystra went all "oh yes, now that you are alive I'm not taking care of your orb until I send you on yet another suicide run, but don't worry - I believe in you, 'kay-thanks-bye!"

I guess this is faith for you - everything becomes a trial for it.

Moving on! The first big romance scene for act III of the story left me in emotional shambles.

In this moment Gale knows he wants to do *everything* and *anything* for us. He wants to gain power for us, to give us everything we deserve because if he gave Mystra his all he won't be holding back for us. And when we say we don't want it… you can see how absolutely devastated he is - up until he hears what we are really telling him.

"You are already everything I need you to be."

God, the animation here was so amazing, you can practically see the moment realization strikes him. He can live without Mystra, he can live without power, but he can't live without you. That he matters to someone, not for what he can do, but just… for him. And he was never loved that way, he himself says that, much to the dismay of my bleeding heart.

And that is that! Our story with Gale ends here, without a bang, but that is good. Gale is no longer the man he used to be, his ambitions now centered around a happy life with us. And I'm all giddy and teary-eyed for him. 

Mind you, the ending felt…rushed? But perhaps that's just me not ready to say goodbye after all this? The game ending is a dash of adrenaline and I felt like there was just not enough time to unwind after. Guess I need to headcanon the rest ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Either way, if you managed to stay to this point - a big thank you for reading!

[weaselle]

20+ year veteran of the restaurant industry, solved how to never have problems about service dogs with this one easy trick

let me help all of you who work in restaurants and struggle with interactions between customers who lie about their dog being a service dog and customers who get mad at people for having legit service dogs with them, and all that obnoxious bullshit.

here's everything you need to know. you ready?

you are allowed to ask anyone to remove their service dog if their dog is misbehaving.

That's the secret to your success in navigating this situation at your job in the restaurant.

So if a service dog is barking, or growling, or jumping at the end of it's leash because it's excited to try to meet people, or trying to eat food from under the next table over etc ... you can ask that person to remove their service dog from the premises. For example, if a see-ing eye dog gets overstimulated and starts barking, you are totally legally allowed to say "sir, if you can't get your dog under control, i'm afraid i'm going to have to ask the two of you to leave" and mean it.

What all this really means is, you don't have to care if the animal is a service dog or not .

It literally does not matter to your job. If it's behaving, it's behaving... right? like, who cares if there's a dog if it's quietly minding its business and not bothering anyone? And if it IS misbehaving then it doesn't matter if it is a service dog or not you can still ask it to leave.

And THAT means, you never have to ask anyone if their dog is a service dog. If you assume all dogs are service dogs, you can say a strong yes to any karen demanding to know if that dog is allowed to be there, and it gives you recourse if someone is complaining about any actual real dog misbehavior

and just like that you never have to stress about service dogs again -- as far as you are concerned, anyone can say any dog is a service dog and you can just believe them and that will never cause a problem for you.

in addition to allowing you to retire this as an issue and relax about service dogs in general, i hope you enjoy the knowledge that you can, actually, tell some lying-ass customer that if you see their "service" pomeranian standing on the fucking table at any time they will be asked to leave.

[salted-bird]

One of the things I love about Limbus' Abnormality encounters, besides how cool the designs are, is the way the game uses them to tackle the topic of performative empathy vs actual empathy.

You can't just try to fix an Abnormality's core problems and expect it to work. And it's not because the Abnormality will attack you before you get the chance to do anything, rather, following this approach is a consistent way to hit your own party with demerits due to the simple fact that YOU ARE THE ONE HURTING THE ABNO IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Trying to remove the Umbrella Fox's umbrellas is incredibly painful for it because it involves tearing off chunks of its flesh, mimicking the Weeping Toad's cry will cause it to flee because what it actually wanted was someone who would listen, removing the brambles will make the Bride and Groom sad because it means you are destroying their home, giving water to a blazing metal bull obviously isn't going to help, etc.

Your intentions can be good, but as the Umbrella Fox itself puts it, solutions without "forethought" have the potential to be incredibly harmful.

Which brings me to the similarities this has with IRL ableism, and how often body-abled people will tell you to do X thing under the claim that it will help you feel better (or even cure you) without considering the implications of their own suggestions for a single second. Some wonderful examples of this are telling someone with a respiratory disease or injury to just "take a deep breath", telling a person with chronic fatigue to "go jogging, it will give you more energy" or recommending to an autistic individual that they "learn common sense".

I'm sure you can imagine yourself (or know from first-hand experience, sadly) the rest of horrible 'magical solutions' disabled people have to hear on a regular basis, so back to the point, this type of acts share the same kind of impulsive and patronizing empathy as the "help(?) this Abnormality" choices in Limbus Company.

Not only do they not help anyone at all, in reality they are an active detriment to the physical and emotional wellbeing of the target you are supposedly trying to help with the action. In the end, the only benefit obtained is that you get to say you TRIED to help someone, hence the performative part of this behaviour, it makes you look good to others and to yourself by awarding you some imaginary reputation points that mean nothing.

Now it's very possible that you are thinking (or not) something about the lines of: "But hey, I unplugged the electric sheep being sacrificed to fuel a city, and I also sprinkled water on the tree suffering from a drought, I did have success helping a handful of the Abnos!".

This may appear to contradict my logic as described above, but I want you to consider a key difference between the Abnormalities the game does let you help and those for whom trying to do so is an insult. The former group suffers from external circumstances that can be changed through concrete actions, the latter faces permanent issues because of the very way they are.

So on the first camp;

-The Electric Sheep doesn't suffer because it's electric, it's suffers due to being exploited for energy.

-The Desert Twiggy Ghost Tree doesn't suffer because it's allergic to water, it suffers because it doesn't have access to any water.

-Similarly, the Electric Centipede only suffers because people are experimenting on it and you choose how to torture it.

You can liken them to disabled people with low-support needs, whose difficulties would in theory go away once you implement a social model of disability because the problems they face are, as the name implies, mainly social.

Now, contrast this with how for example, removing the brambles from the Rose Thorns Cross involves destroying its very body, and you should notice the theme Limbus is trying to convey through these encounters; Nobody is the same.

Sure, jumping the gun may work sometimes, if the problem is small enough to be dealt with through individual action, but more often than not the reality of what the other person is going through is so different from yours that an attempt to force your own experiences and judgement on them is only going to result in pain, and what's worse, pain for both parties if you genuinely were trying to help.

Which is not to say there's no point in desiring to offer help, my favourite part about how Limbus handles its event choices is that it teaches you a lesson about the value of simple understanding.

Tearing off its umbrellas won't help the fox, but going past its threatening appearance to show that you care by petting it will, the same goes for the gloomy frog that is so grateful to you for listening to its woes that it leaves one of its eyes behind as a gift. You don't need to change the Abnormalities' nature as Abnormalities to make them happy, being there for them and accepting them as they are is more than enough.

I could write more about the parallels between Abnormalities as a group of "non-humans" that go against the general idea of normal while existing solely to be exploited for resources and the way IRL disabled people are exploited by doctors and pharmaceutical companies for easy money while society at large doesn't care, but in the end the message is simple, imagine a world where instead of treating them like children or even complaining about them, abled people showed those with disabilities this type of empathy, the real type.

[ofmermaidstories]

1. Not really....? It's hard to figure out my actual thoughts on it but I guess, Self-inserting for me feels like it's designed for one person in mind (whoever is being inserted) when x reader can be anyone? And from what I've seen, the content is a bit different.

2. Probably? Definitely. But will I be the person criticizing it? No... I'm not really the type to be vocal about my grievances outside of the occasional personal aside. I usually just don't trust what I have to say is constructive. But I do love hearing what other people have to say.

3. Everything

Jkjk, um.... I'd say my motivation and writing style? (That doesn't fall under everything, right?) I just don't write very effectively. Like- I have a story in my head, but actually putting it down in writing, I kinda just wing it? Like write as I go. Which is fun for developing character lore, or short stories. It leads to a lot of stop and go with longer works, and the problem with that is that it looks clunky! If I'm an a completely different state of my mind than I was when I started a piece the words I put down don't really flow well with what came before. So I have to read and reread what's already been written and play mediator by finding a way to transition from one feeling to the next.

I mostly write for friends or for fun, though, so it's forgivable.

the content being different for self-inserting vs x reader is such an important distinction!! like. also in how you engage with it, too? like—i’m always interested in self-shippy stuff from a, best friend at brunch kinda way, you know? like “YESSSS tell me more, omg, you guys are sooo cute together 🥹” whereas if someone is like, bits&pieceing about an idea for a x reader setup, i’m engaging with it as a reader, like, oh, i am interested in whatever this this piece or fic is trying to lure us in with.

i keep running into i guess… fan-only spaces, for varying Big Fics? and they’re always so interesting to scroll through, because it’s just either people gushing about Said Fic, or like, recommending similar ones, OR it’s someone starting a conversation (a tiktok is the example i’m thinking of) being like, “deku wouldn’t wear fishnets” and then like, everyone who’s had similar grievances just like, jumping in LOL. none of it—the universal loving and the dismissal—is like.. in any way truly critical? it’s just people who’ve found each other agreeing over varying things. true constructive criticism (at least in fanfics) is hard… because you do have to seperate yourself from, “is this just not for me” vs. “i see and understand where this story is trying to land, but i don’t think it makes it” and even then you kinda have to… justify it, you know? like, is it not landing because it’s missed the mark, or do you just wish it did something different? and what i like about fanfic is that we (ideally) afford each other the—generosity of forgiving things, LOL. and i guesssss my original question is more… does becoming a mega, fandom-defining fic mean the fic then loses the privilege of that generosity? i think it must create a distance between it and the fandom it’s from, in a way… it sort of takes on the same… almost for-granted quality we might have with a published book? are we removing ourselves from it, by holding it up? HMMM. questions questions ig LOL.

with no. 3—flow is hard!!! 🥺 do you have any like, rituals or anything to get yourself back into the mindset you had, before picking up the piece again? if i leave off in the middle of a scene or whatever that needs to stick to a specific mood i listen to my playlist for the fic, or whatever. 🥹 it kinda helps to limber everything back up again. but—i mean!!! as long as you have fun with it, in the end. 🥺 the process of writing takes up so much time… we need to enjoy it, in some small way. especially if the end result is for friends and fun. 🥹

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

ymmv obviously this is just a take and half hc but i have to think abt how the wol fights or more specifically, who they fight with.

it always seems to transpire that for one reason or another, the wol fights a lot of their battles alone (in terms of npcs, obviously. you have other players but they're nebulously extant ingame). arr is a whole "throw the wol at the problem"-fest, it kind of doesn't even start to occur to people that "hey maybe sending them to fight this big bad alone isn't always a great idea" until like, stormblood. but even then, the scions and any other allies that are around are very often outright prevented from helping you for one reason or another.

frequently you're fighting a battle on multiple fronts, and there's no real option for them except to focus on their own fight and put their faith in the wol elsewhere. or they get taken away or left behind while you press on. then there's the fact that you're frequently fighting primals, which the majority of characters literally can't help you with for most of the game without jeopardizing their sanity. like, you have other people in the room with you when you fight a primal once, and it's actually a huge problem bc you and arenvald can't really focus on fighting when you're running back and forth trying to shield people from tempering. combined with the limited pool of people who are even on level with a primal in combat to start with, people who can actually assist you with those fights are few and far between.

but even beyond the material reasons! if there's a "canon" wol they're obviously someone who's almost comically obedient, but they do silently exercise agency on occasion... and it is almost exclusively to pick fights, usually alone. like, fucking zodiark. you get sent up to the moon, expecting to maybe fight, like, zenos, fandaniel, nope! the big guy himself. and the wol makes the active decision to not even phone home and say "hey, just so you know, i'm fighting the father of all primals, idk if there's time for you to get up here but. just so you're aware. just in case i cannot kill zodiark by my fucking self. that's what's going on on the moon right now." nah you just jump in there, no need to bother your friends, they're busy, you can take care of this one.

and then this obviously comes to a blatant head in ultima thule, where your friends all but say "we're prepared to sacrifice ourselves along with you if it means the world is safe" and the wol literally denies them that right. they pull the scions back from death and then send them away, and remain behind alone, fully aware they were facing a probably-unwinnable fight. (and i have a whole other fucking essay about the narrative ramifications of zenos' arrival in this context and others but. another time. this post is too long anyway) my point being that's one of the most blatant moments of pc agency and it's to remove others from a battle and stay behind alone.

idk i think a canon wol trait is a fixation on their own sacrifice, a desire to put themself in harm's way because otherwise someone else might do it and that's intolerable. and the narrative often conspires to validate them on this. and it's. interesting? i'm rotating it.

[stevetown]

On The New Tumblr Desktop Dash

I've been using the new Tumblr desktop dashboard for a few days now and I have some Thoughts that I thought would be useful to put out in to the wild. Most of the reaction I've seen has been...abnormally harsh about this UI update, so I think it would be interesting to actually go through the changes and point out what I like, what I don't, what I think could use some improvement, and maybe break down a little about why those Twitter comparisons are way off the mark.

More below the fold, but the tldr for me is - I think it's great! At the end of the day, I feel like I use the desktop version of Tumblr more and more since the change. Whereas before I used to just pick up my phone and refresh the app, now I get a hit of dopamine flipping over to the Tumblr tab when I need a work break.

The change is clean and logical, and as someone who came to Tumblr a year ago and still never quite grokked what all the icons at the top meant, having them spelled out is much nicer than guessing what they mean, even for someone who has become more familiar with the site. And to be clear, from what I can tell that's the goal of this change - to make it easier for newer people to use Tumblr and find their way around. Despite all the hate this change is getting, that is an unabashedly good thing.

The Left Nav

It's really, really clean. The old dash had a lot of unused space on the left, it makes sense to carve some of that out to have a menu that actually lays out what each icon means. The font size and style is comfortable without overcrowding. It just feels more...confident? Like these are the features Tumblr has. Use them! It's also just a more familiar web browser experience for anyone who has been using web apps since the dawn of email.

The badges also fit much nicer with the left nav. They don't float above an unclear icon, they're right next to what it says on the tin. You got 20 new posts to read, buddy. 5 new notifications. 1 anon ask. It's just better on my eyes.

I do understand the gut reaction that things are "too" cluttered. One of the first things I did was snooze Tumblr live and that helped me out a lot. Just removing all of the noise of live tags and loading-in thumbnails of people I'm not interested in watching went very far. It brought the post content further up on the screen.

A little before and after snoozing Live:

Explore

I didn't even know what Explore was used for before. It was a compass icon. I think I thought it was some kind of search? I can't remember if I ever clicked on it before. Explore is much more interesting to me. It makes me curious. For a site that struggles with getting new users to find new content, it's a beacon that says "Find some cool new stuff!"

My problem with Explore is that clicking on it...doesn't get me much. The landing page just takes me to a feed from @todayontumblr that almost never has any content that I'm interested in. The "For You" tab on my regular dash is where I go mining for new blogs, along with "Your Tags." If Staff finds this change leads to more Explore click-throughs, I'd love if the tab itself get some love and made it a hub for finding new content easier. Maybe mixing up a feed of any tags you're following, trending posts, and other algorithmically sorted goodies that I'll want to take off the shelf and put in my chronological dash. I want it to be a place with the goal of encouraging me to follow new blogs.

Live

The transition to the Live page doesn't feel good to me. You're taken to a totally different kind of page, and the UI jumps all the way to the left. It feels like you're going to a separate site. At least when you snooze Live it also removes the menu item. That's really nice! But I'll save Live thoughts for another day.

Activity/Messages/Inbox

I never knew how much I suspected these things were a bit redundant, but I'm glad now that they're separated and labeled correctly. I don't have to remember what the face icon/mail/lightning bolt all mean or why they're different. Things are much cleaner in that regard.

I don't really care for the popups when you click on them. Those do feel cluttered to me, like I'm going to lose sight of my dash, or the notifications. I don't have much UX advice here, other than to say I think I prefer how the Inbox is handled, where you're just taken to a full page view of the page. However maybe another solution would be how the Account and Settings icons are conducted...

Account/Settings

This is the section that sold me on the new dash. On the old dash, I found navigating the Account and Settings options...ephemeral. I was afraid I was going to lose my place if I didn't find the menu I needed. Here, having them slide out as a drawer, keeps me in place and lets me orient myself easier. It's made exploring settings overall frictionless. I've changed dash palettes like ten different times just because I could and it was easy to find. Maybe something similar for inbox/messages/activity would make the UI feel more consistent and less overcluttered-feeling?

I do notice that the Account dropdown adds a new scrollbar which makes things like the t logo and badges jump to the left. That can be a bit disorienting.

TumblrMart/Get a Domain

The Get a Domain menu item is fine, but TumblrMart feels like it needs some love. On a new refresh, clicking the icon loads for a total six seconds before the mart pops up. By this point, if I wasn't intentionally testing, I would have just moved on. Again, I also just don't like pop-ups like this. Feels loosey. Much prefer the full-spread domain page you get.

Create

This is maybe my least favorite change. Every time I switch to my Tumblr tab, I see it in the bottom left and think it's the "Where were we?" button. When I do want to create a post, it feels like I have to travel far to get to the button, and then I have to travel again when the dots come up to select what type of post I'm making.

I wonder if just tucking it at the bottom of the menu under "Get a domain" would be better? Or at the top of the menu? Not sure. I feel in my jellies there's a better spot for this one.

On Twitter

If I can address the most frequent criticism I see on this site, which is that @staff are trying hard to "ruin" Tumblr by "turning it into Twitter," I understand that gut reaction.

But I'd encourage folks to think about that for a minute. UIs change, and a left-aligned nav is extremely common for a reason. Since the dawn of email, menu navigation has been relegated to a left sidebar. Twitter is not "burning to the ground" because their nav bar was on the left. Having a left sidebar means literally nothing in the grand scheme of what makes a website what it is.

What, truly, has this nav update changed? It does not change the functionality of the site at its core at all. It doesn't change what you can post, how you can post, what content you find, reblogs, or tags. For a site that struggles with new users "getting" the site and finding their way around, this nav change makes it much easier to settle in with something a bit more ubiquitous to the modern browser-viewing experience.

Thus leading me to believe the only reason people hate on this change so vehemently is they don't want to see new users or any effort at all to attract them at all, and I think that's exclusionary crap. Knock it off.

Change is Scary!

That said, the change is scary! Having your muscle memory interrupted isn't fun and can take a while to get used to. Every change has a growing period. I get that. For me, I got over that period fairly fast, but I recognize this process is different for everyone, especially those who have been around here for a lot longer than I have.

The change is also open for valid criticism. There are usability and likely accessibility concerns for sure. Staff needs time to iterate, and they need to know what problems are actually worth fixing and addressing. "I hate it turn it back" doesn't help anyone - it doesn't help Staff, and it doesn't help new users who are trying find a new place on the internet to call home after *shakes fist at the rest of the internet.*

I really like this change as a starting point, and I can't wait to see it iterated on further.

And on a small end note, if you also have thoughts and opinions that you want to tell Staff, please, please, please remember there are other human beings on the other end of line.

[dybalassunshine]

Chapter 4 - Search Party

They had been rummaging in the cockpit for a while now, all in vain.

Emi and Leo checked the pilot's dead body while Cristiano and Neymar looked around the room. Neymar scrunched his nose in disgust and while trying to cover his nose, nudged Cristiano in the ribs.

"Ow! Are you trying to kill me or what?!"

"Stop whining. I was trying not to die from this God-awful stench."

"Speaking of which, why did it have to be us searching the dead body? Ugh!"

Emi rolled his eyes at that question.

"Would you prefer searching the back part of the plane? Or the toilets? I wouldn't mind", Emi said with a slight shrug.

"Uh, no thanks. I will continue here."

"Oh great!"

The sarcasm was lost on no one.

Neymar raised his arms in defeat and left the cockpit.

"Oi Ney! Come back here!"

"Aw hell no! I feel bad for this dude but I don't want to join him. Uh-huh. I can't deal with the stench. You guys continue. I'll drink some water and join you in a minute."

EMI'S POV

Damnit! What's wrong with these people!

Besides me, Leo dropped the pilot's arm suddenly and rushed out of the cockpit, calling Neymar loudly.

Weird.

Why is everyone so weird? Like what's-

Oh shit. Neymar went to drink water! It might be poisoned!

SHIT SHIT SHIT

I ran out of the cockpit as fast as I could only to see Leo slap the bottle out of Ney's hand, who didn't seem very pleased by that. Thank God!

Cristiano rushed out as well, bumping into me hard, like HARD.

"Ow! Damn Emi! What are your bones made of, stones?"

"Same thing yours are made of!" I replied while rubbing my arm. This bitch is really strong. Might've fractured my arm, this douchecanoe!

"Just because I said I'll help doesn't mean you guys could leave me all alone there!"

"Shut Up Starboy. There was an issue. Neymar was about to drink water."

"Why is Neymar drinking water an emergency? What even-"

"Oh my god! Did you forget to pack your brain among all the protein you packed?"

He just gave me a dumb look in return. ISTG...

"The water, it may be poisoned."

"Oh right!"

I slapped my forehead hard. Idiot.

Neymar threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Why did you do that amigo?"

"Sorry about that Ney, but that bottle you were about to drink from is the one we found near the dead pilot."

Neymar turned to me sharply. At first, I didn't understand but then I remembered.

I threw the bottles down. Shit.

I just gave him my best stupid smile and he shook his head in disappointment.

"Thanks, brother! I could have very well been dead by now!"

"No problem, just be careful."

"Can we go back in? We have to keep looking for the codes."

Before the others manage to find the parachutes and we have to jump out. Nope. Can't deal with heights. Na-uh.

"Sure, let's go. Ney, you coming?"

"Yeah sure."

Cristiano rolled his eyes and followed them back in. Douchebag.

END OF EMI'S POV

Ozil and Dybala were searching the storage room for parachutes while Haaland was looking out the window. Hakimi was still on the verge of crying, just glancing at the other three men from time to time.

"This is useless, we're not gonna find anything here. I'm telling you, whoever planned this is smart enough to remove any way out."

"Dybala, please. We're trying to save our lives, there's no need to be so negative. We'll find something for sure. If there are no parachutes, then Emiliano and the others will find the codes. Don't worry."

"Sure, you waste your energy here. I'll be in my seat, waiting for the good news. Best of luck."

Haaland turned to look at the commotion just as Dybala left the room.

"Huh. Everyone is being cranky."

"Can you blame them? We might be dead any time."

"You're a really cheery guy Hakimi. Nice to meet you."

Haaland left the room, smirking. Hakimi looked at Ozil in confusion.

"Forget it. Would you like to help me find the chutes?"

"Oh sure."

They continued their search.

Haaland emerged in the main body of the plane to find Dybala sitting in his seat, seemingly unbothered. Harry, Ramos, and Di Maria were looking around and under the seats, probably looking for any clues. Meanwhile, Kylian had found a packet of nachos and was busy munching on them. Haaland looked between Dybala and Kylian and decided to sit with the latter.

HAALAND'S POV

"So, uh, Kylian... Hi."

"Hey man", Kylian replied with a mouth full of chips.

"Yeah, so... what are you doing?"

I cringed visibly at that sentence. Conversation starters are not my specialty after all.

Kylian didn't seem to mind, as he quickly swallowed the chips and smiled at me. Weird. I would've roasted him.

"Uh, nothing much. Just found these chips in Emi's bag. Felt hungry so I ate them. Hope he won't mind."

Good luck with that. If I had noticed anything during this painfully long flight, it was that Emi didn't seem to like Kylian very much.

"You find any chutes back there?"

"Yeah, no. That ain't happening."

"Well, shit."

"Why? It doesn't seem that bad to me. I mean, I agree with Dybala. Maybe we should run with it, you know?"

"Wow. You change fast", he said while laughing. What does he mean by that? Weird man...

"I mean, you were the one calling us out on not acting, now you're telling me you want to 'go with the flow'?"

He must've judged by my face that I didn't understand his accusation.

"I thought we could get away easily but Dybala is right. Whoever planned this is very clever. I bet they're not gonna find the codes either."

"WE FOUND THE DAMN CODES!!"

Shit.

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

The Reaper and the Death Angel Part 58

Series Masterlist

Part 57

Contains: So much angst, like all of it, medical procedures, drug use and overdose, hurt/comfort, bugs in bodies.

7K words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed or follow #the reaper and the death angel.

"You're not soldiers, you're all little boys play acting at being warriors without all the hell it takes be truly be one."

You got closer, "morte prima di disonore, it means death before dishonour and the star is the five point star that represents crime in the Italian mafia. So much for the problem going away."

They looked at you with worry, Tig gritting his teeth, "are you saying the white guy's in the mob?"

You nodded, "he's not just in the mob, that tattoo is unique to Italy, that family that Jimmy told us about is here and they have friends."

"Hide the bodies now and clean up, make sure there isn't a stitch of blood anywhere. The cops will be here soon so hurry up, I need to call Hale and get ahead of this then update the CIA." Sam arm was holding you up as you hobbled to the chapel, "Chibs, are you alright to patch Tig up?"

He nodded, "yep."

Tig looked worried and you cut him off before he could say something, "I don't have the time to patch you up Trager, I have my own wound to deal with but first I need to talk to The CIA and Hale. Your flesh wound is the least of my worries."

You turned to Sam, "I need to have this conversation in private, can you help me to the dorm please?"

Tig's eyes went wide, "shouldn't you be here to help Chibs?"

Your patience was growing short, "no, Chibs is very good at what he does. I offered millions of dollars of medical training free to anyone who would take it and you all said no. Maybe if one of you had stepped up to the plate instead of leaving me to do it, you might have more hands on deck." Sam helped you to the dorm and you called the CIA.

You swallowed your pain as the adrenalin faded fast, "we have a problem, the Clubhouse was just attacked, two guys drove in and shot the place up. One was a Tenth Street Killer and the other was a made man, from Italy. One of the gun buyers is in the Mafia, he says it has to do with the ports. The Club has already put plans in place and we're good on our end in terms of manpower. I just need to let you know what's going on in case shit jumps off."

Vance sighed, "I'll send the paperwork to Hale now, you have the agency's support to deal with this. I know it was talked about before we dealt with Lobo but the Club needs training so this stops happening. I'm sure Anvil will do it and we'll bankroll it. Is anyone hurt?"

You took a deep breath, "Don't worry about bankrolling it, it can come out of my cut. We have to make sure this all looks good and money for this coming from a strange source doesn't look above board. Trager took one to the shoulder and I have a bullet in my thigh, no one needs serious medical care."

He groaned, "you could have led with that. Go fix yourself up and get some rest and take a few days to assign everyone training that fits them, I'll send you any info we have on what's going on with the mob and these Tenth Street Killers. If you change your mind about who's paying for it just let me know."

You rubbed your face, "thank you, talk later?"

He huffed, "yes, I mean it when I say in a few days. I know I can't order you to do anything anymore but you need to take it easy before something happens to you and the Club is left to its own devices."

Sam helped you back to the chapel and up onto the table and you called Hale.

"Let me guess, it's not my concern?"

You sighed, he didn't sound happy, "no it's not. I'll have the paperwork for you in the next hour. You can come by and dot your Is and cross your Ts and I'll keep you updated but this isn't a matter for you to concern yourself with."

"Are you alright? You sound like you're in pain."

Part of you wanted to cry, Hale seemed to care more than some of the men in the room, "I'm fine, it's mild. Do you know what you need to do or do I need to explain it to you?"

"I know what I need to do, I'll be here soon with some deputies. Fix yourself up, we can talk later."

Juice was standing there looking very worried, having returned with the first aid kit ten minutes ago so Chibs could start on Tig, "can I do anything to help?"

His sincere tone softened your upset, "see those long tweezers?" He nodded again, "undo the package by the sides, making sure not to touch them then push them towards me by the bottom of the package."

He did as you asked and you went to pull them away from the plastic sleeve. You looked at Sam, who knew what you were about to do but before he could tell you to use lidocaine, Jax came screaming into the room with Opie and Happy. Before he could touch you, you stopped him, "please, I just sterilised myself, don't touch me."

Jax stopped in his tracks and looked at your bleeding leg, "oh my God y/n, you need a doctor."

You huffed, "I am a doctor and I can look after myself." You shook your head and went to speak but Sam acted before you opened your mouth, taking the disinfectant and pouring it in the plastic sleeve and over to tweezers to resterilise the tool.

He gave you one last imploring look to numb the area before you yanked the tweezers away. You watched Jax go every shade of pale as you shoved the tweezer in the wound track and went fishing for the bullet. It didn't take a lot to stay quiet, "that's so fucking hardcore." At least Happy had his head on straight. You finally found the bullet, pulling out with a grunt.

"Where are the fucking sutures?" Juice rustled around in the bag and found nothing.

"I have them Lass."

You huffed, "I don't have time for you to be done with them. Juice, hand me that stapler please."

Jax blinked, he was stuck between staying to be there for you and running out of the room, "at least use a local darlin."

You huffed, "left inside pocket, the small one with the three sections, what do you see?"

Jax looked hard, "nothing."

You nodded, "that's right, nothing. I get three vials of lidocaine at a time, I told everyone that if one was used, someone needed to contact Anvil or me so they could be replaced. Two vials have been used and I was never informed. The last one is over there and the top is covered in Tig's blood, meaning I can't use it."

Chibs' eye's dropped to the floor, "I'm sorry, I've been meaning to tell you for weeks."

You huffed, "well it's too late, now please hand me the stapler."

Jax put his hand over his mouth, "I can't watch this."

You clenched your jaw, "then don't fucking watch." A hard clack filled the air and then you were done, "the CIA has deemed that the Club needs to become more independent. You're being given millions of dollars of training for free over the next month. I need to go to Anvil to create the programs, I'll be back in a few hours and I expect you all to be here so I can give you your assignments."

Jax looked at your wide eyed, "what? You're hurt, you should be at home resting."

You shrugged, "I need to get more lidocaine anyway, just be here when I get back."

****

"Hey honey, Sam called me and told me you'd be coming by and I just finished up with Mr Vance, you're all good to go. I set up the spare office for you and Derek's in there ready to help you out."

You smiled, "thanks Penelope."

She walked you to the office and opened the door, Derek giving you a hug and pulling up a chair, "I've already done, some shit, you've told me enough about then that some of the assignments were easy."

You sighed, "oh I love you." He handed you the sheet and you looked it over, he had already put Juice down for a whole bunch of computer stuff and Happy would be working with Aden in interrogation, they were all also in the mechanic and engineering class.

"Vance said you wanted it taken out of your cut but this is at least four months' worth, we've all talked and we don't need to charge you anything."

You shook your head, "I've already worked out that if I teach some of the classes, you'll only have to take two months' worth. Trust me, some of the classes wouldn't work unless I was the one doing it and the last thing I want to do is waste my money."

Derek made a face, "something is going to happen if you don't slow down, you should be planning your wedding and getting ready for the little one to get here."

You shrugged, "I'm planning ahead, if this gets them trained enough not to need me then I'm doing myself a favour in the long run."

He nodded, "alright, if sit down and start I'll go get us some coffee, you look like you're about to fall over."

He flopped on the chair and propped your leg up on the ottoman, Derek coming back a few minutes later with a cup for each of you, "how bad is it?"

"It's nothing, it doesn't even hurt anymore. I have no idea where I'm going to put half of these guys, Bobby can't put show up to put some bottles away, let alone do any of this."

Derek placed his hand on your shoulder, "you know I love you right?" You nodded, "great, then you know I say this from a good place. You've been too nice to these guys, I get that you love them but out of eleven of them, only half deserve it and one of them is your brother and the other is the man you're going to marry. Start treating them like you treated the guys in country or you're going to end up hating them."

Your shoulders fell, "you're right, if they don't do what they're told then it's their fault, I might still be the go between with the Club and the CIA but I don't need to do any more than keep them alive. Thank you."

Derek smiled, "I'm your friend, there's no need to thank me."

****

You hobbled into T-M with a thick file in your arms, and Jax greeted you outside, stopping you before you could walk into the Clubhouse where everyone was waiting, "Chibs feels terrible for what he did, he's learnt his lesson and it won't happen again."

The expression on his face was a mix of worry, anger and affection, "I'm sorry I snapped at your earlier, you're the last person that…"

Jax cut you off, "no, I deserved it. It's my job to keep them in line and I haven't been doing that." You blinked back tears, "go in and do what you need to do then I'm taking you home, we'll talk about what happens after when you've had some sleep."

You walked inside and everyone headed into the chapel, Jax went to get you a chair and you shook your head, "I'd rather stand." You handed the file to Jax, "pass them down please. These are your schedules for your training, you have two days to tell me about unchangeable appointments and responsibilities, after that it's tough shit."

"What happens if you don't show up?" Tig's tone told you he wasn't taking it seriously.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, "in order to make everything look legitimate and reflect well on the Club should law enforcement go looking, I have turned down CIA funding and instead have chosen to have the money for the training taken out of my Anvil cut. To do that, I have to either earn nothing from Anvil for four months or teach some of your classes and earn nothing from Anvil for two months."

They shared a look, "If you miss or fail a single class and don't do your reading, assignments or class work without a very good reason you will owe me for every single cent of your training, not just the class you've failed in, which totals just over a million dollars, should this become a trend, the Club will owe me for everything, which will end by being just under fifteen million dollars and by a trend I mean two people."

Jax's eyes went wide, "this is costing you fifteen million dollars?"

You shook your head, "no, all my Anvil money goes to charity, needy people are missing out on that money."

There was silence, "let me be very clear, this is the last chance for some of the men in this room. The men the CIA deemed expendable will become acceptable losses and my goal will change from keeping everyone alive to, first and foremost, keeping Jax and my brother alive and, second, ensuring the CIA's interests."

"You expect us to be able to perform at the same level as the other people taking these classes? We're not soldiers." Bobby didn't sound worried, he sounded pissed.

"I spent the last six hours personally assigning this training to you. The classes fit both your skills and your interests as well as the roles you already have in the Club. There are classes that everyone will take but those are necessary and have the sole purpose of either saving lives or making the Club look more legitimate. If you had bothered to read your schedule, you would have already known that."

Kozic raised his hand, "what?"

He looked at you sheepishly, "I don't really want to do area fortification."

You took a deep breath, "great, then you can do computers and Juice can learn to torture people. How does that sound?"

Juice blinked, "I don't want to do that."

You smiled nasty, "oh I know and I think doing that would be very bad for your mental and emotional health but Kozik doesn't want to do area fortification and the only person I can move is you. Unless Kozik realises that he's being selfish by not pulling his weight and changes his mind."

Kozik's eyes met the floor, "I didn't mean for it to be like that, I'll stick to what you've told me I'm doing."

You smiled, "great, is anyone else going to whine about getting shit for free? Keep in mind I wouldn't have put you in the class if I didn't think you'd enjoy it."

They were silent, "training starts in three days, if you aren't twenty minutes early you are twenty minutes late. Sam and Kip will only be participating in team building as their time in combat means they don't need this. If you had taken the time to look at what I had handed you instead of just getting me to explain everything, you would see that there is also training at night. In order to get this done in a reasonable amount of time, you will be on a twenty four hour roster, there will not be a time in the next month when one or more of you isn't busy. Any questions?"

Tig's voice had your blood pressure spiking, "yeah.."

You cut him off, "what? What the fuck do you need me to do for you know, say sorry for taking up your time, explain to you why you have to do this or baby you into thinking this is important?"

You have never spoken to any of them like this and their shock was showing, Tig was deflated but that didn't stop Bobby was speaking, "we're not soldiers, you can't expect us to learn this and be good at it."

That was the last straw for you, "no, you're not, that's obvious. Soldiers pull their own weight, follow orders and don't leave other people to do their dirty work. You can't even be here to spend half an hour packing some bottles away because you think it's beneath you, how I can expect you to walk across a mind field or blow or door that could be rigged and get your arms blown off. Oh, that's right, you have no concept of war or combat, you are at home, safe from the horrors of the world where your worst inconvenience is being asked to show up on time and do what you are told."

They looked at each other, Bobby seeming ashamed, "no you're not soldiers, because if you were you'd close your eyes and see your friends with their legs blown off or smell children being burnt alive. In the last few weeks, I have dealt with a horrible train crash, and now I'm dealing with children dying from a dirty drug. None of you has to wade through teenage body after teenage body, none of you has to tell parent after parent that their child is dead and you have no solutions."

Chibs went to speak and you glared at him, "not only do I have to do that but I need to raise a child, plan a wedding and get ready for the arrival of my niece or nephew. You know I have a day job, not that it matters, not that something that makes me feel useful is any more important to some of the people in this room than a hot wet shit."

You threw your hands up, there was no point in holding back now, "I mean, if this is what being an old lady means then I don't want to be one. Old ladies don't get respect, they don't get so much as an acknowledgment of everything they do. No, they are beaten, cheated, and drained dry until they have nothing left to give. No wonder Gemma is so fuck up, no wonder Lyla and Ima stay the hell away. I am Jax's partner, I am meant to be his equal and yet some of the people here, you know who you are, treat me like I'm his bitch."

You were so angry that the pain in your leg felt like nothing, "it's do this y/n, fix this y/n, get us out of our latest mess y/n. This isn't about people saying they are thankful, this is about people acting thankful. There were meant to be two people checking the first aid kit, did Chibs not assign someone or did that person just not care? I'm sick of it, I'm sick of the people in this room leaving the shit work to the prospect or the women. I'm sick of the fucking superiority complex that seems to come along the kutte. No matter how high I climbed, I still cleaned the shitter, no matter how many medals I got, I still got my hands dirty because I had a duty to my fellow soldier to do my part."

Your hands started to shake and you felt your chest get tight, "Bobby's right, you're not soldiers, you're all little boys play acting at being warriors without all the hell it takes be truly be one and I'm done, I'm fucking done. My priority is my child and I will not empty myself to fill anyone else."

The silence was so thick you could cut it, "you want to talk about the Grim Reaper? The enemy used to think I was one, men would piss themselves and start praying when I walked into a room because they thought I could steal their soul with a look. I walk into this building and I reduce myself to Sam's sister, Jax's whore and Abel's mother and I'm never doing that again. I'm done with this shit, I'm done being walked all over."

You took a deep breath and stealed yourself, "I have toppled empires with a smile and the shake of my hips, I have had men who are responsible for the deaths of millions beg for their lives at my feet. You are to fall in line and do what you are told for the good of your brothers first and the Club second like real warriors, or this Club will become nothing but a memory. Not because I don't love any of you or because I'm angry, but because I love my child more than anything on this earth and the Club is now getting in the way of my child's safety. If you don't think I would massacre every single person in this room for my child and I mean every single one of you, you are making a fatal mistake."

You didn't even look at them as you walked out, the hellish silence staying long after you were gone.

****

No one moved, said anything, or even dared to breathe. The people you were addressing in your speech knew it was about them, as did those who knew it wasn't about them.

"She's right, you know." Jax's head snapped toward Opie, "when Billy called me to talk about the bachelor/bachelorette party, we couldn't come up with any games because all of y/n's friends know everything about Jax but a lot of you know nothing about y/n. I wanted to do it anyway but Billy said it would ruin y/n night if anyone felt bad."

Sam was quiet, the same kind of angry quiet that often ended in bloodshed, "there are people in this room who should be ashamed of themselves." Sam hated to bring this up but it needed to happen, and he turned to Tig with hate in his eyes, "do you have any idea how much what she did for you and Clay with Donna hurt her? She spent all the time that Opie was in the dark beating herself up about how what she was doing went against everything she stood for, how protecting you and that monster made her feel?"

Tig's gaze fell, "she hated you from the moment she met you, you rape dead bodies for fucks sake. She spends her time making sure the dead get their stories told and the moment something goes wrong in your life you desecrate them. But instead of sticking to that, she did everything in her power to find the good parts of you so she could like you, not just for your sake but for everyone's. I never heard you say thank you to her for keeping your secret but then I guess you didn't even think about it."

He turned to Chibs, "and you, all the effort she put into making sure you could stand on your own two feet and keep everyone alive and you still get her to help. The offer had always been there to do more training but no, the second it's beyond your scope, you call y/n and get her to do the patching up. Has it occurred to you that maybe every time you don't know how to do something, you should go and learn how to do it? No, I'm guessing it hasn't because y/n will do it anyway."

Bobby was the next target, "you know what she said to me after you didn't show up to pack those bottles away, 'I miss Afghanistan because at least in Afghanistan I could trust my guys to have my back.' She was so hurt by what you did but she never said anything because what was the point."

Sam rubbed his face, "you know she's turned down the job she's dreamed of since she was five, four times since she moved here. Each time she was happy to do it, like the suggestion that leaving Charming was downright offensive. All she wanted was to be the head of anthropology at the Smithsonian, she even had a poster of the front doors that went with her everywhere. When she landed here, she set it alight and told me that she had different dreams now. They called her two weeks ago and she didn't say no, she said that sacrifices had to be made."

Sam stood up and sighed, "fix this shit or I'm turning in my patch and dragging her and Abel Washington so she can be happy, Jax can follow her or he can stay behind but I'm not watching her do this to herself anymore, my sister deserves to be happy and if that happiness comes at cost of the people in this room, I'm ok with that."

****

Jax came home ready to face the music, after your rant and Sam's calm dressing down they had decided it was time to change. No one had complained about their assignments and Jax had sent everyone home to think about how they had treated you. He had gone over and over again what he was going to say to you, how he was going to beg on his knees for your forgiveness but when he got in the door Sam waved him into the library.

"She's on the phone with the FDA and the DEA, they got the test results back from that drug and it's bad. She didn't have much time to explain it before the calls started rolling in."

Jax made his way into the library to be and was greeted by you sitting at the desk with your head in your hands, "hey darlin."

You looked up, "hey, is this the part where you ask for the ring back?"

Jax sat down and took your hand, running his thumb over the back of your hand, "no, I'm not going to ask for the ring back, I'm going to say I'm sorry and tell you that we all talked and that there will be change, the people that don't will lose their patch. We'll be at Anvil in three days for training. I am so sorry you've turned down your dream over and over again for so little return and I will spend my whole life making this up to you if that's what you want. I will do anything to make this right, I...."

You placed a hand on his cheek, "it's not you Jackson, you have been amazing. I'm just burnt out and sick of some of the guys being selfish assholes, had it been any other time I would have been able to deal with it."

Jax shook his head, "no, none of that. It had to happen, we all know who you were talking to and those people are taking a good long look at themselves. I told everyone that if they want to say sorry they can do it when things with your work calm down, until then you're not doing anything else for the Club."

You couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore, the last few weeks catching up with you in a rush and Jax pulled you into his arms, "hey, you're alright, everything is going to be ok." You sobbed into his chest while his hand stroked your back until you couldn't cry anymore.

You pulled away with a sniff and Jax lifted his hand to your cheek, wiping your tears away with his thumb, "you know I love you right?"

You nodded, "that's the second time I've heard that today and it was followed up by me getting all mad at everyone. Yes Jackson, I know you love me."

He smiled, "then you need to stop bottling shit up, it's my job as your partner to look after you and be there when you need someone to talk to." You went to speak but he shook his head softly, "you don't get to decide if something is too much for me. I know you signed up for the Club coming first but you are my world and I am never going to let it hurt you again."

You leaned in close and dropped your forehead to his, "I love you so much, I am so sorry that I..."

Jax kissed you in an effort to quiet you, "there's no need to say sorry. Now I'm going to run you a bath and you're going to spend the next three days focusing on your job."

You smiled, "you are wonderful."

Jax went to say something but your phone rang, "this won't take long, it's the CDC, I think you're going to do a press conference and they want my statement."

You answer the phone with a sigh, "yeah, you want my statement?"

The person on the other end was in a rush, "we only need a few sentences."

Jax had his hand on your leg, his hand running back and forth, "this drug is deadly, it won't give you a better high because people are dying, it will kill you. There is no safe dose, the makeup of the drug means that the longer the pills sit, the more dangerous they become, If you take these pills now you do not have a chance. Please do the right thing and drop them at a hospital or pharmacy so they can't hurt anyone else."

You could hear the person typing, "thank you, that's fabulous. Can we call you if we want you to appear in person?"

"Sure, just let me know in a reasonably time so I don't look like I've been up for four days."

"Of course, thank you for your help Dr l/n."

You hung up and Jax smiled, taking you phone from your hands, "you're done for the night, I'm going to run you that bath and spend the rest of the night making sure you know how much I....."

BANG BANG BANG

A quick glance at the security camera showed a woman, maybe in her late teens or early twenties standing at your door, terrified, by her clothing she must have come from a frat house party next door. You and Jax raced to see what was wrong, Sam opened the door just as you got there, "what's wrong miss."

She looked around frantically, "my friends, they took something. I think they might be dying."

You and Jax shared a look, "alright, we're going to need all hands on deck for this. Jax go get the med kit, the big one, Sam call an ambo and Ima, bring as many cold packs as you can carry."

You were out the door in seconds, "do you know what they took?"

Her eyes were wide, "the pill was pink, it had a flower on it. I'm training to be a nurse and my teacher told me about this new drug that's killing people, I told them not to take it but they wouldn't listen. They just started dropping."

"Alright, run ahead and tell them help is coming and that they need to be ready for the ambulance to arrive, please tell them that no one is in trouble."

Her ran off as fast as her feet could carry her and Jax caught the worry in your eyes, "this is Poppy isn't it?"

You nodded, "I think it is and I only have enough drugs for one person, two at a push."

You walked through the front door and Jax eyes went wide, "what about six people?"

The scene was carnage, Sam came up behind you, the phone still in his hand as he relayed the information to the dispatcher, "they're sending six ambos now, St Thomas is ready for them."

You rubbed your face and turned to Ima, "you and Sam go around and put those cold packs on as many of them as possible, call me over if something goes wrong."

The frat boys were standing there in their T-shirts, with shock on their faces, "I need to know what they took or I can't help."

They looked at each other and their faces became hard, "you're friends are going to die and if you don't help me I will tell the cops you refused to help."

Still nothing, "please, your friends are dying I just need to know what they're on so I can keep them alive."

The youngest one of the group looked at his brother then back at you, "they took Poppy, we didn't think it would hurt them, we've been taking it for weeks and we've been fine."

"Ahhh, y/n, I think this guy is having a seizure." You over and waved to Jax, "go in the bag and look for a drug called Midazolam, it's got Versed written under it, then take a fourteen gauge needle, the orange one and draw up half of it."

Jax did as you asked, handing you the syringe with a worried look. "Hold his arm down so I can give it to him." Jax did as you asked and you watched the boy's face as you injected the drug.

"It's not working."

You shook your head and handed the syringe back to him, "the other half please." He didn't stop shaking as you gave him the last of the vial.

"I'm out of drugs, there's no more I can do." You looked for around for Sam who was holding another shaking victim, everyone else dropping one after the other, "Sammy, what's the ETA on those ambos?"

Sam voice was tight, "three minutes."

The girl who came and got you was standing there numb, "can we do anything to help?"

You nodded, "get them as cold as you can, all we can do is preserve brain function until help gets here, what's your name sweetie."

She blinked, "Misty, my name is Misty."

You smiled, "alright Misty, you've done amazing so far but I need to cool them down. Have you learnt how to do that yet?" She nodded, "ok, well I'm y/n, this is Jax, the tall guy over there is Sam and the pretty blonde next to him is Ima and we're here to help. Get as many people as you to help you get these people cold so we can get them to the ER alive."

She ran off, by now everyone was listening. You only relaxed when the red and blue lights came through the windows and the sound of sirens filled the air.

"They're all seizing already?"

You nodded, "the drugs aren't working, I'm trying to keep them cool but.."

Shay waved her hand, "we know, we've been going to these calls all week. Go help with the cooling we'll do what we can." The other paramedics went to help and then they were loading people into their vehicles, "David will be here soon, I'll get you a ticket for your meds so you can replace them."

You nodded, "none of them are going to live, are they?" Shay shook her head, "the one the medicated might. I'll let you know how it goes."

"Thank you."

Jax put his hand on your back as Sam walked Ima home,"if that's what you've been dealing with the last few weeks I am so sorry. Let's get you home, Hale and talk to you there."

You sighed, "thank God Wendy had Abel tonight."

Jax chuckled, "she's been great."

Misty walked over to you with her face pale, "can I help? I was speaking to my friend Jenny before she started getting sick."

"Do you know where they got the drugs?"

Misty looked around, "yeah, Oakland."

You and Jax shared a look and you pointed to a piece of paper, "this is the number for a detective Mason tell him everything you know, please."

She took the number from your hands, "I'm going to go see him right now, thank you."

You smiled, "thank you for doing the right thing."

****

"There's two Oakland detectives at the door for you."

You pressed the intercom, "send them in, thank you T."

They walked in looking worried, "I'm guessing you saw Misty last night?"

One of them nodded, "I'm detective Goodman, this is detective Mason."

"I'm sorry we had to meet like this, did you get anywhere?"

Goodman nodded, "we're not here to question you, we're dealing with that now. We're here to ask about some other bodies that arrived last night."

You nodded, "the ones from Oakland, of course."

Mason smiled, "the woman in her early twenties, yes."

They looked at each other, "Damon's daughter was there when it happened, she was the one that did CPR."

You knew what they were asking, "six of the bodies in the fridge happened in the house next door, I saw this drug in action. There is nothing she could have done to help her friend. I can't ease her mind, what I can do is say for sure that she did everything she could and there's is no way she could have helped. I had the antidote drug with me and that wasn't enough."

They nodded and Goodman spoke, "thank you, we'll pass that on to her." They shared a look, "this will be the last round of bodies, we just came to let you know that it's being dealt with and we could use your help to make sure this doesn't keep hurting our community."

You got the message loud and clear, "do you best to leave no evidence and make it look like a rival gang and I'll take care of the rest."

"We'll be in touch, thank you Dr l/n."

****

"I spoke to Pope, Veronica is doing ok since you spoke to the detectives. He assured me that the drugs won't be an issue for much longer."

You took a deep breath, "I don't want to know, the less I know the easier it will be to get me to cover it up. How's your reading going?"

Jax smiled, "it's going great, I am learning a lot. I cannot wait for it to start."

You sighed and threw your arms onto his shoulders, "you are going to have a lot of fun and you'll learn so much."

Jax bent his head and kissed you, "I can wait for you to teach me, it's going to fulfil every teacher and student fantasy I've ever had."

You giggled, "you might not think that when it starts, I've been told on the odd times when I teach at Anvil I can be kinda mean."

"I can't wait, I like it when you're mean."

The connotation was clear, "I can be mean to you if you want me to, all you need to do is ask."

Jax smirked, "on second thought, I like you when you're nice too."

You shook your head, "you are insufferable."

Jax took your face in his hands and kissed your hard, walking you back towards the couch, "how's your leg?"

You moved his kiss his neck, your hands popping the buttons of his flannel, "fine. I missed you."

Jax's hand slid down your body to cup your centre, "it's only been three days."

You nipped his skin, "three long painful days."

Just as Jax's fingers went to untie your scrubs, your phone rang.

"Yeah." It was detective Goodman.

"There are bodies, it looks like something you'd handle considering what we found."

You sighed, "I'll be there soon."

You hung up and Jax's face fell, "more shit?"

You nodded, "so much."

****

"What the hell am I looking at?"

Goodman looked at you, "I was hoping you'd tell us, it looks like these are the guys who were selling Poppy."

You walked over to the bodies, two of them staged, they were being strung up their arms and had roach carved into their stomachs. You turned to your team, "Jess, help me get this guy down, Jack and Zack can do the other one."

Jess looked closer as you walked up to the dead man, "has something been stuffed inside their abdominal cavity?"

"It looks like it. In all likelihood, it's the drugs they've been..... Oh my God, did it just move?"

She nodded and you took a deep breath, "alright, for everyone's safety, we got to open them here." You and Jessica got the body and and placed it on the ground, the press showing up just as you got the scalpel out of your bag, "hey Mason, can you wave them off please?" He gave you a nod and went to push them behind the police line as you placed the blade at the chest, it was clear this close that the letters cut deep in the skin were there to hide the fact that they had been cut open.

You pressed down and the skin split open, you and Jessica jumping up and taking large steps back as the body opened and the source of the movement became clear, the bodies had been filled with cockroaches.

"Oh no, I do not like this, I do not like this one bit. We are going to get these bodies back to the lab and let Jack deal with this shit."

Jess sighed, "I miss it when we only worked with bones."

You chuckled, "me too."

****

"Y/n is on the TV, so is your old lady." Juice came in from his kitchen, having invited Happy over so they could study.

"What do you think's going on there?"

Happy shrugged, "I'm sure we'll find out. Holy fuck, are those what I think they are?"

Happy pointed to the Tv and Juice turned away, "I'm going to go take Jess a change of clothes, help yourself to dinner."

****

"I saw the news, are you alright?"

You climbed into Jax's lap and buried your head in his chest, "it was so gross but the good news is that I think the issues with the drugs are over. The two men they found were the main sellers and some info on the bodies led the cops to where they were bringing them in. It's being dealt with now."

Jax ran his hand up and down your back, "Pope?"

"Yep."

You lifted your head off his chest and pressed your lips to his, "shall we pick up where we left off?"

Jax smirked, "fuck yeah."

Part 59

[selectivechaos]

Hey, I'd just like to clear up a bit of misinformation if that's ok. In my experiences, the term 'negative reinforcement' isn't about punishment. It's not referring to when someone won't speak and is then punished for it. Negative reinforcement is more like removal reinforcement in that it involves the removal of the negative experience of anxiety and that is what reinforces the behaviour. When someone speaks for a mute person, it reduces their anxiety (that's the removal part) and so they are more likely to rely on someone to speak for them in future (that's the reinforcement part). This is what you described when you mentioned feeling less scared when someone speaks for you and I don't think the true meaning of negative reinforcement contradicts that? If punishing behaviours for not speaking are removed when the person speaks, that person is still feeling anxious so it isn't negative reinforcement at all to me because the mute person doesn't feel any better.

Still, I agree that if a mute person asks someone else to speak for them, that person should not refuse because of 'negative reinforcement' but I think it's more that the mute person should be the one to make the decision about what will or will not help them :) Also jumping straight into trying to force a mute person to speak is not a good place to start any kind of recovery effort, I would imagine. Definitely the anxiety would need be reduced in another way first.

- 🌵

hey thanks for this, my bad. especially the last sentence of first para of your ask was what i was confused on. 

and yeah the true meaning of negative reinforcement is that you feel less scared when someone speaks for you, because it removes pressure to speak. 

but what i mean is that sometimes this is treated this as a bad thing that is inherently contradictory to recovery.

(tw ableism mentions in next two paras). the problem with treating negative reinforcement as inimical to recovery is that in some cases the efforts are focused on Never speaking for the person with sm, because you’re scared to ‘make it worse’ for them. people don’t want to ‘encourage’ the mute behaviour.

so it’s not always about them straight up forcing the person to speak, as much as it is them forcing the person out of silence, or shunning them for being situationally mute. this approach leads to parents refusing to get their children diagnosed, ignoring and hiding diagnoses of sm from them. because the parents think that if the child knows that what they experience has a name, then they’ll think that it’s okay not to speak, or they’ll use it as an excuse. then there is the wider idea of mutism as comfort, or as hiding away from speaking, rather than as the inability to speak. it’s sort of an “in the real world people aren’t just going to let you not speak” and “when you grow up, people aren’t going to keep speaking for you” kind of thing.

🌹 again thanks for clarifying. and yeah i agree that the main focus should be anxiety reduction. making the situation feel safer and less anxious is the first step; rather than trying to mold the person to the situation, you mold the situation to them.

and while speaking for someone does reduce their anxiety by removing pressure to speak, and it shouldn’t be demonised or avoided as much as it is, there are definitely other ways to reduce anxiety too. like removing the spotlight from the person, not asking lots of questions to them, asking questions only indirectly so they have the option of whether or not to answer. and positive reinforcement with ensuring that when they do speak, they’re met with acceptance and kindness. 🌹🌹🌹

[yokelish]

So here's a fun story of mine.

I respect medical professionals. And by that, I mean good medical professionals.

About four years ago I started to seriously try to figure out why my headaches and migraines were getting progressively worse with age. And other symptoms started to appear too: nausea, sensitivity to light and sounds, loss of time and vision, absence of short-term memory, extreme exhaustion, and neck pain. So much pain. There were days when all I wanted to do was lay in bed and whine from pain.

So, I did what any rational adult would. And got a medical appointment. A physician looked at me, ordered a few blood tests, and asked about my family history, etc.

In the end, I was given a very mediocre medication the details of which don't matter. But I had to take it every day because it was preventative. And for a while, it seemed like it worked. But I had a bad reaction to the medication and it had to be removed. Once I was put off the medication, it all returned just as before. I remember telling my partner at the time without a hint of irony if I had a gun in this house, today would be my last day alive. That's how miserable I felt at that time.

So, I was directed to a neurologist. And I went. And he did what a neurologist does. Then I asked him if I should get an MRI, just to be sure, just so we know it's definitely not the brain. He said it wasn't needed.

He said it wasn't uncommon for women to have migraines. In fact, women are more likely to get them.

Yes, some of your other symptoms are a bit unusual but they are temporary.

He said I passed all the tests, and I was fine.

He said if I didn't have any recent head traumas, it was quite unnecessary.

It's a complex procedure (spoiler: it isn't), why would you want to be on a waitlist for months for nothing?

And so I didn't push him. I had to go through a drug trial to find what worked for my migraines now. I was tested for intracranial hypertension; they suggested lifestyle changes. Little adjustments to help out with the headaches and neck tension. And then slowly I grew complacent with it. Put the frog in boiling water and it will jump right out. But put in cold water and slowly heat it up, it won't be able to tell the difference. Life started to happen. I buried a friend. The pandemic. My MDD started to take priority over the headaches.

And then I almost went fully blind in one eye for 15 minutes. For no apparent reason.

What were you doing when it happened?

Uuugh, nothing. I was just reading in bed, laying funny. When I started losing vision in my left eye, I thought it was eye strain. But about two minutes later I realized it sure wasn't that. I immediately got up and went to my partner. When I explained what was happening to me and we got ready to go to the hospital, it started to come back. That's why I am here.

That didn't happen.

What?

And the neck pain was increasing. The intensity of the pain in my head kept increasing. The periods of those episodes continued to grow.

I have since moved. Got a new physician. And, I guess, I had a bad episode. There was a day I was in pain, I was miserable. I made an appointment ASAP. He is a great doctor. He is willing to put up with my demands for MDD medication, migraines. Even the smallest ear infections. There wasn't a time I came to him with a problem and he tried to rationalize it to me.

Ear infection?

Yes, you have it. It doesn't seem serious right now, so just over-the-counter medication will do. But if you don't feel any better, or even worse tomorrow, do let me know.

So, after that bad episode, I decided I can't be fucked anymore. Enough is enough. The pain was unbearable. I am a working, reasonably healthy adult, I can't be in this much pain without a cause. Unless they've checked for everything, EVERYTHING in the books and it came empty, only then would I accept that this pain was something I had to live with.

What I did was fucked up. Don't do that. But what I said to him, I meant with every cell of my being.

I want an MRI. And if it comes empty, order whatever test you can think of, no matter how invasive. Because this pain is getting worse, there are days when holding up my head is a conscious task. There are days when doing anything other than lying horizontally is a teeth-grinding endeavor. When I lower my chin, I can feel something along my spine, like a cord being pulled, not in a healthy muscle-stretching way, there is a tension that I don't think should be there.

And then he asked me how bad I would rate the pain on the worst day.

If this pain continues to increase at the rate it has been, I won't be alive by the time I am 31. I will take my own life.

And I was ordered an MRI. Not to say how ridiculously long I had to wait for an hour-long procedure where a big loud machine just scans your head.

And the doctor's office for the first time asks me to come in for the test results.

Your brain is healthy. But we found something in your neck.

And I felt giddy like a child who was promised candy. I wasn't insane. It wasn't "one of those things that women have to deal with". Fuck you, the professional who told me this. I sincerely hope you get sued. I'd sue you myself but I can't be fucked to be bothered with that right now.

My health care professional suspects syringomyelia. A fluid cyst in my spinal cord. I will have to go through more tests to see what it is for sure, what is the cause, and how bad it's gotten.

The point is

If one fucker decided to listen and not to rationalize a woman HER OWN Pain, if one fucker agreed to order a fairly simple medical test, perhaps this cyst probably could have been discovered THREE-MOTHERFUCKING-YEARS AGO.

[youvereachedthebadend]

We somehow have to get /him/ on our side. Corruption is stronger now, but he had the best control over it and maybe with his help the two of you will be able to deal with it, Jack.

I have an idea of how to open up his eyes, but there's a huge possibility that it won't work out. We could shout for all eternity, but he won't believe us, he has to realize his mistakes himself. Now he can experience corruption and from what I saw he already doesn’t like it. My plan is to take on the good cop role and awake his conscience, if he has even the smallest amount of it. That way he might understand that violence is not the right answer. And if you get down to it, all of this is rooted in him being lonely. 

Maybe he'll regret what he did and he'll try to atone for it. And if it doesn't work out we could still gain something from him trusting me. - Buddy 

"You mean we have to be nice to him?" Marvin shakes his head. "Sorry. I don't think I can do that."

Well we don't have to, Jameson says. That's not what they were saying. They were volunteering themself, and probably the other voices, too.

Jack sighs. "I think... I think I need to be involved, too. I need to go into his mindscape."

"Wait, how'd you jump to that?" Marvin asks, confused.

"Because it's easier to talk in there. About emotions and stuff, I mean." Jack looks at his friends. "You were all there. Sometimes people have problems putting their feelings into words, but being in the mindscape is more like telepathy than speaking. It removes that barrier and just communicates directly. Also, while you're in the mindscape, you're not in reality. So he won't be able to attack anyone. I can go, and take the voices with me. They can come. We'll all talk to him, and he can be honest, for once."

"We were talking about needing to uncorrupt him, anyway, weren't we?" Jackie says. "I mean, if the corruption has 'turned inward' or whatever the fuck Sam said, we need to get him out. And Jack needs to go into the mindscape for that."

"Now we just need to figure out how to do that," Chase mutters.

Schneep raises his hand for attention. "What do the voices mean 'he doesn't like' the corruption?" he asks.

"Oh. Right." Chase coughs. "They started to tell us something in the car, but we said it would be better to wait until we were altogether."

[shewasverynice]

Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS

Rating: Explicit

Major Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Non-Consensual Drug Use

Additional Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Injury, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drug Use

Categories: F/M, Multi

Relationships: Takami Keigo | Hawks/Original Female Character(s), Original Character/Other(s)

Major Characters: Original Characters, Takami Keigo | Hawks, Hero Public Safety Commission, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead

. . . . . ╰──╮꒰ Halcyon Part - 3꒱ ╭──╯ . . . . .

"Holy shit! Holy shit!" Kiwi was still buzzing as she ran into the conference room. She sat down in a chair, letting it spin as it slid across the floor with her arms up and little brown wings fluttering. "HOLY SHIT!"

"I literally... I cannot believe this." Heron said, following after her and taking a seat, "How is that even possible!? A quirk that strong is insane!"

"Calm down." Hummingbird grumbled as she flew into the room and gracefully took a seat, "Stop shouting."

Owl yawned as he joined the four of them, still dressed casually, "So, something interesting must have happened?"

"Owl holy shit!" Kiwi grinned, jumping out of her seat and running over to him, "You'll never believe it! Halcyon is-"

"Halcyon is one person Dad!" Heron cut her off, jumping up as well.

Owl blinked, lifting up his sunglasses, "Excuse me?"

"Halcyon is one person." Hummingbird repeated, "We all saw Dragon transform into Turtle, then Tiger and finally Phoenix."

Owl pinched the bridge of his nose before he pulled his sunglasses down again. He sighed, then sat down, "Okay. One more time?"

"Halcyon is-" Hummingbird stopped as Hawks came into the room and closed the door.

The other four heroes felt the tension immediately, Hawks furrowed brows and stern stare making their excitement about Halcyon fall away. He stepped forward, his wings practically twitching on his back as he removed his aviator glasses and set them on the table. Leaning forward on his hands he looked at each of them before he gathered himself and spoke. 

"What the fuck."

"Right?!" Kiwi shouted, only for Hawks to wave her down.

"No," he snapped, "Not about Halcyon. We can talk about that after. We need to talk about the state of this city.

The other four glanced between each other before looking at Hawks. He raised his eyebrow, then stood up straight, his wings flattening against his back. 

"You all know exactly what I'm talking about." He continued, controlling his anger, "Why haven't you been doing anything for the bad side of town? What makes those people any less deserving of our help?"

"I think you misunderstand-" Hummingbird started, but Hawks pointed at her.

"You were on the calls that afternoon while Chickadee rested." Hawks said calmly, "Wanna explain why none of us heard about the fire? Or why Kiwi had to find out about my injury from Phoenix and not you?"

Hummingbird opened her mouth, then shut it. She narrowed her eyes before she finally said, "Are you implying that I wanted those people to die?"

"Sounds like it, doesn't it?" Hawks gritted, leaning closer, "I mean, if you have a good reason why you didn't report it then by all means, tell us."

Hummingbird stood up, slamming her hands on the heavy table, "How dare you suggest that I-"

"Iroha." Owl said sharply, "Explain yourself. Now."

"B-but Seiya-san he--" "Iroha!" Owl repeated, cutting her off, "Now."

Hummingbird's jaw set, her lips pulled into a tight line. Her feathers trembled, her eyes full of rage, and she shook her head. With a short exhale, she cleared her lungs before she calmed her expression and sat back down.

"That building was a known drug den and also a place where quirk users were abusing their abilities to manufacture heroin, methamphetamine, and cocaine. The people in that building are part of the drug problem that has silently plagued this city even before Kingfisher retired." Hummingbird calmly explained, "While I don't condone assassinations, if an accident occurred who's to say it would negatively impact the city for those individuals to disappear?"

"So you did want them to die." Hawks gritted, his wings fluttering with agitation, "I have a better question then," he leaned closer over the table towards her, "Why not step in and arrest them? Why not force them into some kind of rehab? There are other options, opportunities for them to better themselves. Instead you decided the answer was to condemn them to death?"

Hummingbird's eyes narrowed, "They certainly didn't take anyone else into consideration when they sold their tainted supply." She said, looking up defiantly at Hawks.

"That doesn't mean they should die!" Hawks shouted, only for Hummingbird's wings to spread wide and her stand on the chair. Her eyes blazed with rage, her feathers vibrating. 

"Did my daughter deserve to?! Did she deserve to die because they wanted to make quick cash?!" She roared.

Hawks was taken aback, his eyes scanning Hummingbird's face, "Your daughter?"

"She was only seventeen!" Hummingbird continued, "She was curious! She was innocent!"

Owl stood up, putting his hand on Hummingbird's shoulder. Her wings slowly relaxed, falling down to touch on the table. Her head dropped to her chest, her fists relaxing as tears dropped down onto her costume.

"They tried to make ecstasy. They didn't get the mixture right and she had a heart attack. It was nearly double the dose of amphetamines that such a small girl should ever have ingested." Owl explained quietly, "She was only half the size of all her friends who all managed to survive."

Hawks shook his head, his eyes falling to the floor. "That doesn't mean letting them die is the right answer." He muttered, "I'm sorry you lost your daughter, especially so young."

Hummingbird pushed her chair back, throwing Owl's hand off her shoulder. She left the room without a word, her tiny wings buzzing as she flew to her room. The tension in the room was thick and no one said a word as Owl pushed the chair back in and took his own seat once again.

"I apologize for her outburst." Owl said softly, "As the Senior hero here I'll take responsibility for her lapse in judgment. I should have considered that she would hold a grudge."

Hawks shook his head with a sigh as his wings relaxed once again, "You trusted her. You aren't fully to blame." He looked at Owl, "But you do hold fault in not calling out the blatant disregard for the slums."

Owl nodded, "Yes. You're correct." He looked over at Heron and Kiwi, "I apologize to you two as well. I should have been more forthcoming about this issue, but I chose to stay silent to keep the peace with Iroha. I should have been a better mentor."

"Dad." Heron whispered, "You're saying that... You and her really did just ignore those calls?"

Owl smiled sadly, "I would never ignore a call, but I allowed the civilian law enforcement to let it go. I allowed them to do as they pleased because I didn't want to argue with Iroha about it." He clenched his fist, "I am at fault for not acting. Not speaking up and pretending not to see it is just the same as allowing it to happen."

"Dad..." Heron's voice wavered, "How could you?"

Owl said nothing, only looking towards the window. "Perhaps it's time for me to retire." He said softly.

"No." Hawks said firmly, "You can't just run away from this. You need to stay and right this wrong."

Owl looked back at Hawks, his eyes widening.

"You need to do your part in fixing this." Hawks said, then looked at Kiwi and Heron, "All of us do." He put his hand to his chest, "I'm honestly ashamed of myself for not noticing it sooner. This is what Halcyon is so angry about. This is why they're so aggressive."

Chickadee came into the room sheepishly, "I... I heard yelling." She said softly, "Is something wrong?"

"Yes." Hawks said, turning to face her, "Chickadee, why haven't you been reporting all of the crimes on the bad side of town?"

"Wh-what do you mean?" She stammered, "I report everything I can and I try to prioritize it by location. I... There's only five of you so I--"

Hawks sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Chickadee, did you receive any formal training on how to do this?"

She averted her gaze, embarrassment evident in her eyes, and he knew he had his answer. Letting out another sigh, he allowed his head to drop back. As he stared at the ceiling, he calmed himself once more and attempted to regain his composure. The situation was far more complicated than he had anticipated, and becoming entangled in the Halcyon investigation only added to the chaos.

"I'm going to call in some support." He said, keeping his tone even, "This isn't going to continue this way any longer. We're getting this place back in shape and we're going to take care of what we should have been doing from the beginning."

"What do you plan to do about Iroha?" Owl asked quietly.

"That depends on her." Hawks replied, "If she can see reason, then I will push for her punishment to be more lenient. But she can't get away with what she's done."

Owl's shoulders visibly relaxed, "I understand. Thank you."

Kiwi wiped at her eyes, "I should have seen it. I can't believe that it got this bad. This is so embarrassing..."

"It should be." Hawks said, crossing his arms, "You should be ashamed. All of you."

His back feathers ruffled as he spun around and left the conference room. He stomped heavily as he made his way to the atrium. Despite his intense anger, he resisted the urge to scream. Losing control wouldn't solve anything, and he'd already said what he needed to say. He spread his wings, soared directly upwards to his apartment, and forcefully slammed the door.

Sending out all the feathers he could, he set them in a neat pile behind him when he lay on the couch. He draped his arm over his eyes, just trying to ease the headache that was coming on. 

It wasn't just Nest. It was the whole damn city. The law enforcement, the fire departments, the hospitals, even the damn government itself seemed to have just decided it was easier to let the place rot. There might as well have been a physical barrier keeping that section of town separate from the rest. 

When he was a kid, things were rough and not just for him. He wasn't the only one stuck in a shabby house back then, and he definitely wasn't the last. But he never realized just how bad it really was. He never imagined it was that widespread, nor that it was such a blatant disregard for humanity.

He let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes behind his arm. Right now, he just needed some rest and to clear his mind. Tomorrow, he would take care of everything by making the necessary calls. He was determined to restore Nest's reputation and ensure that his agency was nothing short of exceptional. 

Hawks' mind couldn't help but drift to Halcyon. It was astonishing to him how it could have been one person this whole time. How on earth they were doing it, he didn't know, but it was truly incredible. They were getting to so many of the calls so fast and--

He sat up off the couch, his eyes wide.

"One of them is leaking our calls to Halcyon."

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

The following day, he wasted no time in contacting the HPSC to schedule a meeting promptly. Fortunately, the secretary appeared to be attentive, and he secured an appointment with the President just two days later. He also received approval for backup at Nest, and within four hours, the location was filled with temporary Heroes and aides.

"W-well." Chickadee said awkwardly as a very stern looking woman loomed over her chaotic desk, "I-I guess it was about time to reorganize."

Hawks couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt as they watched the tough woman they had chosen to train Chickadee. She was incredibly strict and had a unique ability to multitask with her four arms. Chickadee seemed overwhelmed and scared as the woman meticulously pointed out every mistake in the office.

Hawks had failed to recognize Chickadee's incompetence at work. Despite her cuteness, it didn't justify the mess she created. Moreover, he remained wary of everyone at Nest, suspecting that someone was leaking their calls - and she could very well be the culprit.

The woman that the HPSC had dispatched was absolutely amazing, it seems, and she was also multitasking by gathering evidence. Hawks would require all the evidence he could gather, therefore accessing Chickadee's reports was an urgent matter. Any discrepancy could potentially be the key they were looking for.

Although...

He took a quick glance at her, noticing her chewed raw, coral-pink painted nails and the tired expression in her eyes. She was trembling intensely, her other hand nervously playing with the edge of her white blouse. It was something he had never paid attention to before, but her long eyelashes were truly remarkable, and the way her green eyes shone beneath them was...

"Hawks," One of the visiting heroes called, "We've gathered everyone together. Are you ready?"

Hawks nodded, "Ah, yeah. Be right there." Before leaving he put his hand on Chickadee's shoulder, "Don't worry, Chicky. It'll be alright."

She glanced at him and gave a slight nod, yet remained silent. His heart felt tight in his chest, but he knew it was necessary. It was the only way to fix things, even if it meant his innocent crush at work would also be affected.

Hawks followed the other hero towards the atrium. He cleared his throat before stepping out, that PR trained smile popping up just in time. With that same easy and laid-back demeanor, he spoke up over the crowd. 

"Hey, everyone! First I really want to thank all of you for your support!" He said loudly, catching their attention, "It's a great honor to have so many pros here today. We here at Nest are happy to have your assistance while we get things back under control."

He gestured behind him to the members of Nest, "Things here have gotten a bit wild since Kingfisher retired, but this help is exactly what we need while we re-establish ourselves!"

He made sure to outline their future plans. As the heroes from out of town handled the city's daily crimes and emergencies, Nest would concentrate on the neglected part of town. Without directly criticizing his colleagues, he subtly hinted at the need for improvement.

"So with that, let's head out and get this done!" He said, turning to the members of Nest, "Let's go clean up our mess."

Gathering up Owl, Kiwi and Heron he said quietly, "Let's go say our Goodbyes to Iroha-san. She's being taken in for questioning today. I asked them to keep it quiet. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

Hawks was strategic in how he presented the situation regarding Nest's reputation. He framed it as a case of overwhelmed Heroes unintentionally overlooking a certain area of town. However, this wasn't far from the truth, especially since Heron and Kiwi were simply inexperienced and unaware. Nest's reputation was going to take a hit either way, better to make it for being incompetent rather than cruel.

The four of them headed outside as some of the agents from the HPSC were explaining the situation to Hummingbird. She was coming willingly, no need to be cuffed or anything. Her eyes were darkened, her expression trying to hold on to some dignity.

"Iroha..." Owl said quietly as he approached, "I... I'm so sorry."

She shook her head, looking up at Owl, "No, Seiya-san this was my mistake. I let my anger cloud my judgment and did the unthinkable." With a somber smile she looked at Heron and Kiwi, "I'm sorry you two. I promise that if I can come back, I'll be better."

Lastly she looked at Hawks. She stared at him before she smiled a little, "Thank you. I won't take your lenience for granted."

Hawks smiled back, "Yeah, of course. We'll see you when you're back, alright?"

Her breath hitched for a moment, and she nodded, "Yes. When I'm back."

She climbed into the shadowy car. After waving goodbye one last time, she disappeared. Owl let out a deep sigh, shifting his wings on his back. Despite his discomfort, he straightened up and gazed at Hawks.

"Well, let's get to it then." Owl said, flicking the arms open on his sunglasses before he slid them on.

Under the bright morning sunshine, the four heroes made their way through the winding alleys of the slums. At the forefront was Hawks, his sharp eyes scanning every shadowy corner and dilapidated building with a mix of anger and sorrow. Behind him trailed Kiwi, Owl, and Heron, their expressions a blend of guilt and unease.

Hawks led them through narrow, garbage-strewn paths, his voice low but cutting as he pointed out the signs of neglect. "Look at these crumbling walls," he said, his tone hardening. "This was once a thriving part of our town. Now, it's nothing but ruins. And it's on us."

Kiwi's tiny wings seemed to droop with her spirits, and she hugged herself against the cold and the shame. She glanced at a group of children playing with makeshift toys in a filthy corner, their faces smeared with dirt. "I didn't know it was this bad," she whispered, her voice breaking.

Owl, his eyes wide and perpetually alert like his namesake, took in the scene with a sinking heart. The wisdom and knowledge he prided himself on felt hollow in the face of such stark reality. "We should have seen this coming," he murmured. "We should have done more."

Heron, visibly shaken, approached an elderly man sitting on the steps of a decaying building. The man's eyes were weary, his clothes tattered. "How long has it been like this?" Heron asked gently.

The man looked up, his gaze piercing. "Too long," he replied. "We were forgotten. Left to fend for ourselves while you fought your battles elsewhere."

As they moved deeper into the heart of the slums, the heroes saw more signs of despair—families huddled around small fires for warmth, sick and elderly with no access to care, makeshift shelters barely standing against the elements. The air was thick with the stench of decay and hopelessness.

Hawks stopped in front of a collapsed building, its rubble spilling into the street. "This was once a community center," he said, his voice tight with emotion. "A place where people came together, where hope was kindled. Now it's a symbol of our failure."

Kiwi, Owl, and Heron exchanged looks of regret and determination. They felt the weight of their past neglect heavy on their shoulders, but also a spark of resolve. They couldn't change the past, but they could fight for a better future.

As they continued their tour, Hawks made sure they understood every facet of their failure. He introduced them to the people they'd abandoned, ensuring they heard their stories and felt their pain. It was a harsh lesson, but a necessary one. For only by acknowledging their mistakes could they begin to make amends and rebuild what had been lost.

The four heroes gathered in a small, dimly lit room of an old, abandoned house. The walls were cracked and peeling, and a single, grimy window let in a faint glow of sunlight. They sat on broken pieces of furniture, their faces etched with determination.

Hawks leaned forward, his intense gaze fixed on his companions. "We're not letting this continue," he said firmly. "You understand now why it's so bad, yeah? Why Halcyon was so angry with us? And why you had no support from the civilians?"

Kiwi nodded, her brown eyes bright with resolve. "We need to start by addressing the immediate needs: food, clean water, and medical supplies. We can use our connections and resources to bring in what they need."

Owl spoke next. "We'll need to organize the community. Identify leaders among them who can help us distribute resources and coordinate efforts. We can't do this alone; we need their trust and cooperation."

Heron, his graceful demeanor now tinged with a fierce determination, added, "We have to help fix their houses and buildings. We can really make a positive impact, but we have to make sure that what we create can last and help them take care of it."

Hawks nodded in agreement. "We'll need to split up and tackle these tasks simultaneously. Kiwi, you focus on securing and distributing immediate supplies. Owl, work on organizing the community and identifying key leaders. Heron and I will start assessing the structural damage and planning the reconstruction."

They all nodded, a renewed sense of purpose filling the room. The guilt they felt had been transformed into a burning desire to make things right. They knew it would be a long and arduous journey, but they were committed to seeing it through.

Hawks spoke up, his voice steady. "We'll need to be transparent with them about what we're doing and why. They need to see that we're here to help, not to impose our will on them."

Owl agreed. "We should hold a town meeting, explain our plans, and invite their input. This is their home, and they should have a say in how we proceed."

Heron stood, his eyes shining with determination. "Then let's get started! We've seen the damage, we've felt the pain, and now it's time to act."

The four heroes stood together, a united front against the challenges ahead. They left the small room and stepped back into the streets of the slums, their hearts heavy but their spirits unbroken. They knew the road ahead would be tough, but they were ready to face it head-on, together.

They dispersed into the slums, each moving with a sense of purpose and urgency. Kiwi made her way to the marketplace, Owl to the central square, Heron to the residential areas, and Hawks remained at the heart of the slums, ready to convene a town meeting.

Kiwi approached the few vendors selling meager goods. She tried to strike up conversations, but the residents eyed her with suspicion and hostility. One vendor, a middle-aged woman with sharp eyes, snapped at her, "We don’t need your charity. Where were you when we were starving?"

Owl faced similar resistance in the central square. He attempted to gather a group, but they shouted him down, their voices filled with anger. "You left us to rot!" one man yelled. "You think you can just waltz in and fix everything?"

Heron moved through the narrow alleys, his heart heavy as he saw the suffering up close. He offered his help to an elderly woman struggling to carry water, but the woman spat at his feet. "Your help is too little, too late."

Back at the heart of the slums, Hawks was preparing for the meeting. As people reluctantly gathered, their expressions were hard and unwelcoming. He could feel the tension, the barely contained anger, and he knew this would be the hardest part.

When his coworkers returned, their efforts having been met with hostility, Hawks stepped forward. The crowd murmured, their distrust palpable.

"Listen to us," Hawks began, his voice firm but calm. "I know you're angry. I know you have every right to be. We failed you. But we're here to make things right. We want to help rebuild what was lost, to restore what was taken from you."

A man in the crowd, his face lined with hardship, shouted, "Why should we believe you? You heroes are all the same—only here when it suits you!"

The crowd echoed his sentiment, their voices rising in a wave of anger. Hawks raised his hands and spread his wings, trying to calm them. "I understand your distrust. We've made mistakes. But we're here now, and we're not leaving until this place is better for all of you."

Kiwi stepped forward, her voice trembling but resolute. "We'll be bringing in food, water, and medical supplies. This is just the beginning. We want to work with you, not over you."

Owl added, "We need your help to do this right. We need your knowledge, your skills. Together, we can make this a community again."

Heron, his voice clear and strong, said, "We're not asking for forgiveness. We're asking for a chance to prove ourselves. Let us show you that we're committed to making a difference."

The crowd was still wary, their eyes hard and distrustful. But Hawks took a step forward, his eyes meeting theirs. "Give us one chance," he implored. "One chance to make amends. If we fail you again, we'll leave for good. But let us try. Let us show you that we can be better."

There was a long, tense silence. Then, the elderly woman who had spurned Heron's help stepped forward. "One chance," she said, her voice rough but steady. "You get one chance."

Slowly, others nodded in agreement, their expressions softening just a fraction. Hawks breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "We won't let you down."

As the tentative trust began to form, the heroes met the citizens in the central square for an open discussion. The crowd, still wary but willing to speak, began to voice their concerns. Hawks addressed the crowd first, his voice carrying the weight of their commitment. "We need your input to prioritize our efforts. What are the most pressing issues you face?"

A young woman stepped forward, her eyes tired but determined. "The drug problem is out of control. Dealers and addicts are everywhere, and it's destroying lives. We need help to clean up the streets."

Another voice chimed in, this time an older man with a weathered face. "Our infrastructure is falling apart. Buildings are collapsing, the sewage system is failing, and there's no safe drinking water. We can't rebuild our lives if we don't have a foundation."

A shopkeeper, his face lined with stress, spoke next. "We have to hire thugs to protect our businesses. We can't afford real security, and the police don’t come here. We need a safe place to work and live."

A chorus of agreement followed, voices overlapping as they shared their struggles. "The homeless have nowhere to go," a woman added. "We need shelters, places where people can feel safe."

Throughout the meeting, the name they expected kept coming up. Halcyon. The citizens spoke of them with admiration and gratitude. "Halcyon is the only one who ever stood up for us," a young man said. "They take on the drug dealers, protects the vulnerable. They've done more for us than anyone."

Kiwi, Owl, Heron, and Hawks exchanged glances. It wasn't exactly a secret that Halcyon was well liked, but it was clear that they would need to work with them in order to get full support in their efforts.

Hawks nodded, acknowledging the crowd's concerns. "Thank you for sharing this with us. We'll tackle these issues one by one, but we also need to find and speak with Halcyon. They've been helping you and we need to learn more from them and work together."

A murmur of approval rippled through the crowd. One of the shopkeepers stepped forward. "I know where Halcyon usually operates. I'll take you to them."

As the crowd dispersed, the heroes followed the shopkeeper through the winding alleys. They arrived at an old warehouse on the outskirts of the slums. The shopkeeper knocked in a specific pattern on a rusted door. After a tense moment, the door creaked open, revealing a tall figure dressed in dark, worn clothes, a dark mask obscuring his face. His eyes, however, were sharp and assessing.

"Halcyon," the shopkeeper said, gesturing to the heroes. "These are the heroes from Nest. They're trying to help us now. They need to talk to you."

Halcyon stepped out, his presence commanding respect. "What do you want?" he asked, his voice calm but wary.

Hawks stepped forward. "We're here to make things right, to fix what we've neglected. The people here hold you in high regard. We want to work with you, learn from you. Help us understand what needs to be done."

Halcyon studied them for a long moment before nodding slowly. "If you’re serious about this, you’ll need to earn their trust, and mine. Actions speak louder than words."

Kiwi stepped forward, her voice earnest. "We’ve started gathering resources and organizing the community. We want to tackle it all. But we need your guidance."

Halcyon nodded again, this time with a hint of approval. "Alright. But know this: it's going to be a long, hard fight. You need to be ready for that."

The heroes nodded, their determination unwavering, but Hawks couldn't shake his uneasy feeling. As Kiwi and Heron talked with Halcyon, Hawks glanced at Owl. He too had a look of suspicion on his face, and his eyes met Hawks' after a moment.

"Excuse us for a moment." Hawks said, "Got a call from Nest." He gestured to Heron and Kiwi, "You two stay here for just a moment."

Owl and Hawks stepped outside of the warehouse, Owl shutting the heavy metal door behind them. As soon as they were out of earshot, Hawks couldn't wait any longer.

"I'm pretty sure that's not Halcyon." He said, his crimson wings twitching with agitation, "Like, he doesn't seem genuine at all."

Owl nodded in agreement, "Plus, it seems awfully convenient that they just know exactly where Halcyon apparently lives and operates. I don't like it."

"It just seemed kind of rehearsed, right?" Hawks said, his hand rubbing his chin, "Like this fake is ready to come in and cover when he needs to?"

"Exactly." Owl nodded, "I doubt the real Halcyon would accept our help so readily. They would at least be more wary about accepting us."

"Well," Hawks sighed, stretching his wings out to release some tension before folding them back down, "Whoever this is may be connected to the real Halcyon. We can play along for now until the real one shows up."

"I agree." Owl said, "Let's get the others and get to work. We have a lot to do."

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