#They won but at what price

[lemonwrap]

I think the 141 did an escape room exactly once and were promptly banned because Price used something that wasn’t supposed to be used as a crowbar to pry up the floor, Ghost tore every fixture off the wall to search for a clue, Gaz took out the cameras and tried to hack the keypad, and Soap made an improvised explosive all within the span of 3 minutes

[faunandfloraas]

Real talk though, if you ARE going to buy the album and youre in aus I need you to promise me you won't buy it from jbhifi because, in the words of Kim seungmin, they are actual con men and swindlers. Don't do it.

[avernusdamned]

not to be like "avernus is actually her bad ending" but... avernus is her bad ending...

even if she has wyll or even if she has the pc it still is not a good ending for her. she even tells you in the beginning when she learns that she's on a time clock she tells you that she would rather die than spend another second in the hells. if you bring her to the HoH she literally tells you repeatedly how much she hates being there and i can just imagine her skin crawling even though it's the first time she's been able to breathe and exist without feeling like every step is closer to her last.

she doesn't care!!! she does not care!!! if the choice is to die free and in her home then she is TAKING THAT CHOICE because it's her choice. it's hers and she will die in the comfort of knowing she helped save the world and she got to see the sun, the ocean, the stars, the moon, the city, one last time before she got to say goodbye.

convincing her to go back to avernus is her bad ending because she doesn't get to live for herself anymore. she doesn't want to. there's no reason to. she's living for wyll (or the pc) because she loves them. gods she loves them but this wasn't her choice. this isn't really karlach. THE FURY OF AVERNUS is exactly that. there are still moments of sunlight and joy that radiates from her but they get rarer by the day. at least she's alive. for you

[ivaalo]

One hour ago, I took the best 15-minute nap of my life. I didn't know you could have the time to fall asleep, dream, recover, wake up and feel so much better under twenty minutes.

Screw dream tourists, I'm a nap speedrunner

[monty-glasses-roxy]

I apparently won the bonds again and as soon as I check my emails I have one from YouTooz like "HEY LOOK WE HAVE THE CUTEST FUCKING GUYS TO SELL YOU NOW COME ON YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO SINCE YOU ONLY EVER BUY THEM WHEN YOU WIN COME OONNN YOU KNOW YOU WANT CUTE LIL GUYS WE PROMISE WE'LL ONLY CHARGE A KIDNEY FOR POSTAGE TO YOUR COUNTRY THIS TIME-"

[blujayonthewing]

this is such a stupid intersection of niche nerd problems but there exists an officially licensed skooma absinthe that is red and comes in a purple jug but it is not only Premium Alcohol Priced, it is also made in the UK and costs as much to ship as it does to buy, so it's not really justifiable as a fun lil treat at that price point, and all the reviews I've seen of it so far have been by Video Game People rather than Pretentious Alcohols People so they don't actually know how to correctly drink absinthe

[howifeltabouthim]

I have earned the right to call myself anything I like . . . No one but I have paid for that privilege.

Catherine Lacey, from Biography of X

[megustacat]

⚠️ Perfect Match Spoilers ⚠️

Okay so.

I just binged Perfect Match for seven consecutive hours and I am like half way through now. It's 5am, I am sleep deprived, but I really really wanted to watch until my man Will was going to show up.

So far I like him and Ines but I feel like they swing differently .... But I really really really do not want Will to be with Francesca.

After all the drama she caused I am thankful that Dom moved on but I just don't want Will to be with her ;___;

[righteousruin]

I genuinely love and hate that Bane went through this intensely transformative arc in Gotham Knights with meeting his father thanks to Dr. Thompkins and Bruce, and having his life saved by Batman, and it’s meaningful to the point where he’s like ‘I’m not Bane anymore actually’, and then we don’t see him again until two random panels in infinite crisis in which he is just. Out here. Fighting heroes. Zero context between points A and B, go girl give us nothing

[ladydraconian9]

Help im surrounded by swifties

[kyuala]

HE TOLD US HE'D BE BACK!! YOU CAN'T BURY THE LEFT WING IN THIS COUNTRY

[cookinguptales]

my job may be very stressful in some ways, but it does allow me to sit at home in my jammies and watch the price is right while I eat lunch

so. you know, there's that.

[saphronethaleph]

Soresu Negotiations

“Get help,” Palpatine said. “You’re no match for him. He’s a Sith Lord.”

Obi-Wan turned to look at the Chancellor. “...yes?” he said. “But he’s also something else – something I’m surprised you’ve forgotten.”

“What?” Palpatine asked.

“A politician,” Obi-Wan replied, turning back to Dooku.

Anakin groaned, then sat down.

“Here we go,” he said.

Palpatine blinked, looking from Anakin to Obi-Wan.

“...what do you mean, Anakin?” he asked.

“This happens sometimes,” Anakin replied. “How do you think he got his nickname?”

“Count,” Obi-Wan said, at about the same time. “It’s occurred to me that I never actually found out what the Confederacy wants.”

“Isn’t it a little late for this?” Dooku asked. “We have been at war for several years.”

“True,” Obi-Wan conceded, readily. “The war having started on Geonosis, because of tracing back your clone army which we… appear to have appropriated, mostly because you did it in our name. But that’s how the war started – not your objectives.”

Dooku was silent for a moment.

“I assume some semblance of a point will be emerging,” he said, eventually. “If you could be so kind as to provide it?”

“Wars begin for all sorts of reasons,” Obi-Wan replied. “But how they end… they end because a mutual settlement has been reached. And it’s occurred to me that I don’t know what you’d want out of a victory.”

He spread his hand, the one not holding the – unlit – saber. “It’s not the conquest of the Republic, I can tell that much. If the CIS annexed the Republic, what you’d have would still be the Republic, just under a different name… it’s not the Republic without the corruption that’s been causing it problems, because most of the corruption in the Republic was – was – the big industrial concerns like the Techno Union, Commerce Guild, Trade Federation. But you seem to have taken all of those off our hands, and they provide essentially your entire military so I don’t think anyone else could honestly believe that either.”

“I wouldn’t expect a Jedi to understand,” Dooku replied. “The Confederacy’s member systems have concerns relating to over-centralization.”

Obi-Wan stared at him for a long moment.

“...no they don’t,” he said.

“I hardly think you can have earned your reputation as a negotiator, Kenobi, if you are so willing to be insulting,” Dooku said, archly.

“That’s not what I mean,” Obi-Wan replied. “I mean… yes, now the Republic has an army, though really it’s actually the Jedi’s army and we’re simply letting them borrow it, but four years ago the Galactic Republic was proverbially incapable of doing anything. It took emergency powers for the Chancellor to get the Republic to authorize having any kind of military whatsoever – and the only one available was the one you ordered. That’s not over-centralization.”

He drummed his fingers on his ‘saber. “And I note that I overheard Nute Gunray insisting on the head of Senator Amidala – literally, in those words – as his price for signing a treaty. But I still haven’t heard an actual answer. What does the Galaxy look like if the Confederacy wins?”

Dooku frowned, and after about three seconds Obi-Wan glanced at the Chancellor.

“Didn’t you discuss this at any point, your excellency?” he asked. “Count Dooku doesn’t seem to have thought about this.”

Palpatine blinked.

“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he repeated. “Shouldn’t you be fighting him?”

“It’s called diplomacy, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan replied, before returning his attention to Dooku. “Grandmaster, are you seriously telling me that you never thought about what you would do if you won?”

Anakin checked his comlink, for the time, then the ship trembled slightly.

“Artoo?” he asked. “Can you tell those ships outside to stop shooting at us and give us a wide berth? This could take hours and I don’t want to find out if my name’s literal.”

“Hours?” Palpatine repeated.

“He’s rolling,” Anakin replied, rolling his eyes. “Like I say, I’m used to this.”

He rummaged in a pocket of his robes, taking out a miniature toolkit, and began disassembling his lightsaber. “I’m pretty sure I can retune these crystals to give two stable configurations which it’ll snap between, that should give me a length toggle instead of a single adjustable length…”

“Are you taking your lightsaber apart?” Palpatine hissed. “What if you need to fight?”

“It’s okay, Chancellor, I’ll get about five minutes’ warning if the negotiations are going downhill,” Anakin replied. “That should be time to put it back together again…”

Palpatine looked up to Obi-Wan, who – sure enough – was still going.

“...of course, a separate but related issue is what it’s going to be like afterwards,” Obi-Wan said. “In principle the Republic and the Jedi Order could probably accept the existence of Sith so long as we actually knew who they were and they weren’t trying to destroy us. It’s the fact that the first Sith we met in a thousand years tried to run Anakin over and cut Qui-Gon’s head off as an opening move that’s soured us towards them a bit… but are you really going to be content as someone whose whole job is to die for Sidious?”

Dooku stared at Obi-Wan, baffled, then glanced at Palpatine and Anakin.

“What do you mean?” he asked, forcing his gaze back to Obi-Wan.

“Sidious is your Master, we know that much,” Obi-Wan replied. “Partly because you told me yourself. But has he ever put himself in danger? Or has it all been you dealing with Jedi like myself and my apprentice? Putting yourself out there, in danger, while you do exactly what he says?”

He smiled slightly. “A Jedi would accept that, but you’re a Sith – you’ve said so yourself. Sith are self-interested. What do you think your new master is getting out of the situation? Because if you don’t know, it’s got to be something and it’s probably something he doesn’t want to tell you.”

“My master is quite willing to put himself in danger,” Dooku said, then clamped his lips shut at a frantic mouthed shut up from Palpatine.

“Real or feigned?” Obi-Wan asked. “Do you think he wouldn’t manipulate you? He’s been doing it to everyone else – you’ve said it.”

Dooku’s brow furrowed.

“But we’re getting off topic,” Obi-Wan said, turning to look at Palpatine. “Chancellor, what about this as a starting point? Your emergency powers were granted to resolve the crisis, and I’m sure you want to abandon them as soon as possible… so why not take away the whole reason why the individual systems in the Confederacy had problems with the Republic to begin with? Freely allow the departure of any system which wishes to do so, under the emergency powers legislation; enact a progressive tax, one which hits the Core worlds harder owing to their greater ability to pay, to sustain a carrier based navy able to hunt pirates more effectively than conduct occupations or orbital bombardment, and have the navy established on a sector-federal two-level model?”

Palpatine stared at Obi-Wan for at least ten seconds.

“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he said, yet again.

“Oh, shut up,” Dooku replied. “You’re a Sith Lord and I don’t see you doing anything constructive.”

Obi-Wan glanced at Palpatine.

“...you know,” he began. “I’m quite sure you’d need to note that on your financial disclosure forms, your Excellency.”

He turned sideways, so he could see both Dooku and Palpatine at the same time. “What was the point of this whole abduction, anyway?”

“As it happens, I was supposed to kill you,” Dooku said. “It’s the only way to turn Anakin to the Dark Side, if you’re out of the way.”

“Huh?” Anakin asked. “Is something up? I’ve almost got the crystals realigned.”

“This plan looked a lot better this morning,” Palpatine muttered.

[justaholeinmysoul]

What I hate about younger generations (let's include gen x too) is that they saw the trick of capitalism/consumerism. They have the tools to know and talk a lot of shit and then they go: You can't change this. It's the system. It's how it is. You gotta be part of it or die. Boomers had the 1968 and they turned into everything they hated but most of them didn't know better and was raised in a very different period. I cannot excuse anyone who came after especially gen x and millenials that call the zoomed that dare to raise their head 'naive' or too young to know better. They just aren't blind yet. I hope you stay naive and I hope you don't believe that you can at least try to change things. Is it immature and useless to stop binging a show? Maybe. What if it becomes a trend? Money will be lost could they cancel it completely? Yes could they start releasing one episode a week? Yes. Wow you've changed the system. It can be done for major things too. It's rarer and hard and brave but do not stop.

[alexthetrashyracoon]

Simon wants to marry you.

This fact was as clear as rain on his mind. You were the love of his life, he was ready to settle down with you and grow old.

So Simon prepared everything for that special day, it was your fourth year anniversary and Simon wants to ask you the biggest question someone could ask and he hoped, maybe even prayed despite not believing in any higher deity, that you would say 'yes' to his proposal.

He has planned out the whole day, from the moment you woke to the moment you would close your eyes for the night again, everything was supposed to be perfect.

Simon brings you breakfast in bed, watching your smile brighten when you see the freshly pressed orange juice and the fresh buns, still warm from the bakery. "Happy Anniversary." He whispers before slipping back into bed behind you, pulling you between his legs and stealing some of the freshly cut Mango from your plate.

When breakfast is over, you two made a mess out of each other while trying to feed each other, he scoops you up and carries you into the bathroom, telling you to get ready and that he has a lot of plans for today which causes you to become perceptive. Immediately starting to question him about his plans, but he's still a trained soldier, he withstands your flow of questions.

Another plan of Simon for today was bringing you to a fair, the same one you two met four years ago.

Here he wanted to ask you to marry him, on top of the Ferris wheel where you two had been stuck together four years ago due to a technical issue with the electronic.

But after spending a few hours walking the fair ground, having to walk back to his car once to bring Lord Otto from Otterson, the plush Otter he won you at one of the stupid and usually very rigged fair games, to safety and out of the way. You make it to the Ferris wheel and Simon's face fell.

"Out of order..." He breathes and runs a hand through his short blonde hair, staring up at the still standing wheel and the dangling cable cars.

"Damn." You curse softly next to him and scratch your neck. "Well, maybe we can ride it another day, mhm?"

"Yeah, maybe. Well, we can't change anything now." He chuckles and squeezes the velvety box in his back pocket. Keeping it safe until you two would reach the next destination.

The small restaurant by the corner where you two lived was filled with loud voice, happy laughter, children running around, not that Simon minded, he knew you were a very outgoing person and enjoyed the social interactions from such evenings.

Simon had reserved a table a few weeks ago and the waiter brings you and him over, Simon shushing the poor man who just wants to help you sit.

He is your boyfriend, bloody hell, he can do something so simple as helping you get seated.

"I know it is our anniversary, Simon," You chuckle as you put down the glass of wine Simon has ordered for you and him, "But something feels different. I just don't know what. Special..."

"Four years is just a long time, love. Maybe your brain finally catches up with... wha-?" Simon wants to be cheesy with you before asking you the question of all questions when suddenly his feet feel wet and he looks down, seeing water come from the kitchen.

His second attempt of asking for your hand has been sabotaged by a broken water pipe.

Simon curses internally as he carries you back outside, not wanting to get your feet wet and cause you catching some flu.

Well, there is only the romantic walk through the nearby park which is empty around this time of the night, so you two can walk around the pond and watch the fireflies and swans before he can go down on one knee and finally ask.

But before he even get you through the sturdy iron gates that allowed entrance to the park, his phone rang, Prices' number on the screen and everything in Simon screams to ignore his Captain for the sake of your relationship and your future.

He apologizes and takes the call, listening to Price explaining that they've got information about a certain Russian Terrorist planning an attack and that they had to meet within the next hour.

"It's fine." You reassure him when he brings you back to your shared apartment, squeezing his hand with a gentle smile on your lips. "I had a lot of fun today with at my side. And saving the world is much more important. We can celebrate another time, Si."

"You're too forgiving." Simon replies and presses his chapped lips against your forehead. "But it's not fine. I had the whole day planned out. And the universe seems against me at all, bloody hell. All I wanted to do tonight was asking you to marry me. And everything I've tried blew. The Ferris Wheel, the restaurant, even the walk..."

You cut him off before he can talk himself into a frenzy by wrapping your arms around his neck, having to stand on your tiptoes and planting your lips on his.

"Yes." You grin when you pull back. "Yes, I will marry you, Simon Riley. I will marry you."

Maybe he should have simply asked you this morning during breakfast, might have saved him from getting another grey hair on his head. But sometimes the simple answer is hidden behind the complicated ideas.

[monstersflashlight]

Ma'am please i beg, something about a war hero virgin monster of any kind letting loose all his pent up desire on brothel madame reader... maybe stealing her away (or inviting all his comrades to join in hehe)

Hi anon! It turned a lot more sweet than expected, but I think it's pretty great. Hope you like it! <3

Orc x fem!reader

You tried to fuck him so many times before, he always came into the brothel and talked with you, but was never interested in your advances. Until one day, when he was drunk, he confessed he was a virgin and didn’t want to disappoint you being mediocre at it. You chuckled and he never talked about it again. That’s why it surprised you so much when before going to war, he promised you he’d be back for you. He would win and bring a victory to the clan, and then you’d be his price.

You knew you wanted him, you knew his promise would be what would make you pain and anguish until he came back, anticipation and dread filling you every day that passed and he didn’t appear. It was an insufferable torture to wait for him, to be there and direct everything, one eye always on the door to see if he crossed. One of your girls always at the door in case news arrived from the fort and he was dead. You pained, and waited…

And then a loud crash sounded in the main bar as you were doing some paperwork. You heard your nae being called so loud the walls vibrated with the force of it. It was all it took for you to know.

He was home. He won and he was there to conquer his price. He was there to conquer… you.

You exited your office at the same time he came barreling to get you. When he approached and threw you over his shoulder you barely made a sound, already prepared to give your everything to him. He carried you away between the whistles and excited rumble of all your girls and patrons. You wanted to chuckle, but the anticipation and pent up sexual desire was driving you insane, stopping you mustering any kind of sound.

He took you to his cabin at the edge of the town, not too far away from your brothel. He kicked the door open and walked right to his bedroom, he threw you over it and ordered you to strip. You did it without arguing, you were as ready for it as he was. He ripped off his clothes, his eyes never leaving your body. The moment his erection sprung free you had to swallow a moan. He was so big. Way too big. You didn’t even know if he could fit inside, but you were nothing but an overachiever.

He looked at you for a long moment, but before you could say anything, he was over you, too eager and inexperienced, but his excitement covered for it. He kissed your breasts, your abdomen, and when he arrived to your pussy, you grabbed his hair hard and he stopped. You told him softly that you knew, and watched how his green face got darker because of his embarrassment. You smiled at him and told him to go slow, to enjoy it as he would of a nice dessert. And good goddess he did. He ate you out with abandon, not fine caress, not really any technique behind it, but he was so good, his tusks around your labia and your clit being sucked and licked. It was a low burn that turned you into a mess of babbling groans and moans.

He didn’t last long, though. Soon after, way before you were ready, he was covering your body and trying to fit inside. You shushed him and pushed him onto his back, attacking his mouth as you rubbed your dripping pussy over his huge green dick. He moaned, and you felt more of his precum making a mess out of both of you. It was exhilarating to have such a big monster under you, so desperate to get inside of you. It was like anything you’ve ever felt before.

You got his tip inside and felt how he shoot inside your pussy, way too soon, getting embarrassed by his eagerness. You chucked and assured him it was normal for a virgin to spill in the first moments. But he was still hard, so you continued even though he kept begging and saying it was too much. But he didn’t stop you. You lowered your hips until they were flushed against his pelvis, rolling them and crying out because of how good it felt. He came again, but didn’t go soft. You rode him like a savage, but it was still not enough, and soon after he was turning you and pushing you onto the mattress, fucking you like a piston as you moaned his name. You came three times, and he flooded you with his cum, kissing you at the same time, claiming you completely.

He claimed you. He claimed his prize.