#Time to go to bed again and rest
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Astérix et Obélix X Kim Possible
Just watched Astérix et Obélix: Le Combat des chefs on Netflix and I can't praise this movie enough! The jokes were amazing, the color palette and lighting were gorgeous, the perfect blend of cartoony and drama. This story is a really good introduction to people who are new to this franchise, showing Astérix and Obélix and their friendship as children, the origin of Obélix' power (as far as I can recall, it hasn't really been shown before, only mentioned!) and this series is actually based on the original 1966 comic with the same name! Style wise, I think they took inspiration from the spider-verse movies, especially the magic potion from Panoramix reminded me of the glitches and warping that happens in those movies. I am a bit confused that this turned out to be a Netflix series whilst it easily could've been a full on movie!
Also my fave: Apothika. I love her. She's everything.

I can't believe they actually made a historically accurate 'goth' joke. For those who don't know, here's a short video on it:
youtube
#also take the 'historically accurate goth joke' with a grain of salt because I say it like 'biblically accurate angel'#I am actually not knowledgable enough in history of anything#Also yes I want to rant about movies but have to make a kim possible doodle to keep this in theme with my account...#Time to go to bed again and rest#astérix et obélix#astérix le combat des chefs#asterix and obelix#asterix and obelix the big fight#kim possible#kimpossible#ron stoppable#ronstoppable#dr drakken#drdrakken#drakken#shego
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on leave
because I cannot resist drawing sillies
#Raven: I literally have NO TIME TO BE SICK- THOSE CONTRACTS AINT GOING TO FINISH THEMSELF *SNIFFLES*#Price: dear the deadline is 2 months for a reason you dont have to finish it in a day#Raven: what am I suppose to do?? STAY IN BED AND WASTE MY TIME??#Price: yes you /rest/ like a normal person#Raven: Im not normal#Price: neither am I so [tackles her to the bed]#self indulgent doodles again as i beat up cold#gummmyart#doodle#my oc#cod oc#[oc]Raven#PriceRaven#captain john price#captain john price x oc#john price x oc#captain price x oc
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okay all your bodhi references are breaking my heart in god rest my soul
also i have questionssss
are imogen and Garrick together???
is imogen gonna be the bad guy in this fic and try and break up riorgail??? because idk if my heart can take it, like she's still grieving bodhi and also i just love her
loving the fic <333
I'm sorry!! I did not enjoy it at all, but I really felt it was necessary for the plot. Poor Bodhi, though 💔 (also I lowkey felt like it was unfair and unrealistic if Violet was the only one who'd lost people during the war. I contemplated Sloan too, but I don't plan on her making an appearance at this point, so you can all imagine her having gone either way 🙈)
To answer your (great) questions:
Yes, I imagine they're together! I think the losses they suffered and the hardship they faced during the war worked as a pretty good incentive for them to get their shit together and at this point in the fic, they're an established couple. It's just not something Violet has been particularly confronted by so far so it hasn't come up in the fic (yet)
Absolutely not!!!! Imogen is so not the bad guy in this fic (I'd offer the tentative view that no one is but rather it's a lot of grey areas and misunderstandings but that's a different talk). Imogen is just... well, primo-Fourth Wing Imogen because she hasn't gotten to know Violet yet. I can absolutely see why you would think it might go that way because of the role Imogen has played so far (really only through Violet's interpretation of her) but, yeah, think of it like how Violet thought about Im at the beginning of Fourth Wing especially before Threshing. Neither of them have interacted with the other all that much, so their relationship hasn't developed like it does in the books. And I think she's a lot more distrustful than Garrick is, so while he's just like 'cool, she makes Xaden really happy, do I finally get to be friends with her now too? neat!', Imogen is more like 'she better not fucking hurt Xaden, can we trust her, does she have an ulterior motive?', you know? She's definitely not going to try to break up Xaden and Violet, promise. I find both Imogen and Garrick a little difficult to write, so that's a challenge for me for next chapter because we will see more of them there than we have in the previous ones, I think.
And thank you so much!! It genuinely makes me so happy to hear that 🩵
#god rest my soul (i miss who i used to be)#this was the last one now I'm really going to bed#I still have comments from last chapter on ao3 I need to reply to and I'm looking forward to that#because it's always fun to read them again#but I want to take my time and do it properly so hopefully tomorrow#but if I haven't replied to yours it isn't because I don't appreciate it or don't love it#I dooooo#pinky promise#life's just been... insane#siobhanbooks
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an entire doodle page worth of content of just these two waow
art commissions
full page for you nerds
#🚬.dei.art#i can link my art comms on this on because i spent all day on this#just dance#just dance 4#jd4#rock lobster#rock lobster p1#rock lobster p2#art#fanart#digital art#procreate#doodle page#me changing up how i draw humans ONCE AGAIN#but tbh this time think its really cuties from how i stylized the eyes#anyways im unhealthy obsessed with this one map#if youre in kin palace you know what i mean#okay to explain why im calling p1 a ''fucking freak'' its because 1) she just fucking bites p2 2) come on have you heard the female vocals#on this song 3) yeah you gotta be a little weird to date a lobster#eerrmm small little headcannon time#i like to think while p2 is very flirtatious and cocky and all that stuff that comes with being a greaser and shit#when flirted back with hes a never mess and gets all flustered when shown affection :dandylien:#ALSO also i like to think the map was their first meeting it just like gives me that vibes at the first couple seconds of the map#and the first drawing in all of this is after that and p2 is a little shy bc oooohh fuck he really likes this chick and also she bit him#and then p1 kinda like bombards him with love or whatever and then the rest is history (they went missing since 2012)#i sound insane i just love these two a lot#oh also its hard to tell ingame but p1's bracelets match of colors of p2 and THATS SO CUTE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 UUUUWWWWWWAAAAAA#i almost typed ''how come no one talks about this!!!1!'' like giiirrrl no one gaf about rock lobster#i should go to bed ive been on this draft for too long#morning edit: i thought i was cooking what am i talking about
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i think part of my problem is i lived with my best friend for two years of my life and have been searching for the same feeling of joy & acceptance & support ever since
#like I’ve sat down and had a think about it and the times I’ve felt the least lonely in the last 5+ years are when my roommates were close#friends I could pray with/laugh with/cry with/unmask with#something something you can’t keep trying to go back somewhere that doesn’t exist anymore you need to go forward#but the only way I can see myself thriving is if I can live with people/someone who feel(s) like home#and I know that can come with time and you meet new people and make new friends and settle down somewhere and slowly build yourself a life#but how do you do that without dying along the way#and I’m here in this new state and I’m trying to be content but there’s the very real possibility everything is going to change *again*#later this year and I just. I’m done I want it all to be over I want to get to find someone and commit my life to them and get to know we’r#we’re gonna figure it out together#and bitterness is so tempting right now bc unless God heals & transforms & really really surprises me#(all of which He CAN do but I just have never thought that was His desire for me); unless that happens I will probably be alone for the#rest of my life#and I can write essays on the importance of platonic friendships and how good and beautiful it is to value them but that grows weaker and#weaker the older you get the more all your friends seek marriage and find their other halves and you’re still. just. There#it’s nearly midnight and I should write a poem instead of processing in the tags of a post but really I may just go to bed#I’m so glad I have a phone call and prayer group to look forward to tomorrow#and the Bible study tonight was good <3 some things were hard about it but my soul was comforted#and I may have even more questions but at the very least right now I know God is Love#and that is the bottom line of any answer that I seek#….which I guess maybe loops back to the processing too. I know He is love I know He’s supposed to be sufficient#so what do you do when that doesn’t FEEL like enough#God I believe help my unbelief. please#elle rambles#[y]#/p
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usopp and sanji late night impromptu date swimming in the aquarium. reblog if you agree
#one piece#sanji#usopp#sanuso#nemotime#its ass oclock and theyre both tired and one of them floats the idea of a swimming date#but the sea is dark and hard to navigate and neither of them want to drag out the kiddie pool frnky has stashed away somewhere#and usopp suggests the aquarium. sanji goes 'okay. aquarium time.'#dont even bother to change into swimsuits. they strip as much as they want before going in.#and then just kinda hang out at the edge of the hatch#shoulder to shoulder and valiantly trying their best not to fall asleep in the water#any fish that come investigating (read: bothering usopp) gets kicked away by sanji and also added to meal planning for the next day#the rest of the crew find their night watch idiots asleep in a very precarious position#where one wrong move would send them into the water#zoro pushes sanji in on purpose. in his sudden surprise and panic sanji grabs usopp and drags him down with him#before resurfacing not a few moments later cursing and apologizing thinking it was his own fault they fell in#zoro rips them a new one about falling asleep on watch duty. sanji figures out it was him who pushed them in- or has a hunch idk#anyway. fighting while usopp gets ushered off to bed proper with a warm drink. sanji joins him after making breakfast#and they eat together in usopp's bunk before snuggling and probably sleeping again#anyway
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ik this isnt my usual type of post, but i wanted to share this. i feel asleep in the middle of the day today (Easter sunday) and had this dream.
i was in the metro with my mom to get some food, because i had just dropped out of a prestigious college (in the dream) and was very upset (the collage was difficult and stressful and i hated almost everyone there, just not a fun time, also i got mold on my feet there?). we were going to talk about it over food.
at one of the stops, someone pushes a piano into the metro and they start playing. it was verying impressive and beautiful. when they stop, someone else plays it, it was also very good. this continues, different people i wouldn't have looked twice at in public come to the piano and play beautiful music. it was all different types of music, but it was all good.
stilling right next to us was my great grandfather, he died 5 years ago (2020). me and my mom are talking to him like we all walked into the metro together (we did not) and was not a strange thing to happen. he starts falling asleep, we try to keep him awake and one of the things my mom does is read the newspaper to him. when he hears that someone is reading to him, he wakes up and takes the paper. he tells her "don't read to me! i can read well enough on my own".
he continues reading the paper out loud. while reading, my great grandfather skips a word, and my mom points it out. he says that the words all move around when he reads, but reading in french (the language the newspaper was in) is better then reading in armenian (our mother-tongue) since armenian letters all look the same and the words are easier to mix up if you are not paying attention. he says thats why french is his favorite language. i tell him i have a simular issue, and he smiles.
the newspaper disappears and my mom tells me to massage his hands since his arthritis is acting up, so i massage his hands. hes listening to the music now and tells me he used to play the guitar. he also shows me a picture he drew of the back of an electric guitar with the serial number and screws and everything. and also shows me the tattoo he has of the serial number of the guitar on his upper arm right next to a tattoo of the back panel scews of a guitar. i get the distinct feeling that he learned it in heaven, and also got the tattoo there. im not a very religious person so im suprised that i was thinking that. i guess i assumed when he came down to visit me in the metro he was an old man again? idk
anyway he tells me that he cant play the guitar anymore because his hands don't work like they used to. i tell him i i've been wanting to learn the guitar, but i hadn't gotten around to it.
he tells me that i can't give up when something is hard, and that if i do, i wont ever do anything. and that will make me a very sad person.
he doesn't say this, but i know hes not talking about becoming a pittiful person, hes talking about becoming a person who is very unsatisfied with their life and incredibly sad. who has gotten to the point where looking for their happiness doesn't even register as a solution to become happier.
after he tells me this, he becomes very tired. My mom tells me to let him sleep since he is tired and should rest. he falls asleep very quickly and i wake up.
#my art#dream i had#when i woke i cried and told my mom abt my dream#i was crying because i got to see him for the first time in a long time and he was so much more energetic then the last time i saw him#the dream wasnt as smooth as i wrote it to be cuz there was crzy metro stuff that happened#and the collage i went to was its own crazy thing#but all that other stuff was a footnote metro ride and the conversation i had with him#its alittle on the nose that i got this dream know#since i just got back to my old job that i hated#and droped out of fashion school#and am kinda lost with what im going to do#cuz i know what i want to do and what i need to do to do it#but when i try#i would get so stressed it would leave me in the fungus state and i would rot#like genuinely rot in bed for weeks with crazy depression#then after i would spend weeks recovering from that depression and ugh yeah#so im back at this job and im like#is this really what im going to do for the rest of my life?#and a part of me is kind of ready to except that cuz getting like that scares me#then i have this dream#and hes so right#im going to make myself the most miserable person i know if i give up when shit is hard#so im going to try#and its going to be hard because i haven't tried in a long time and i dont know if i can really try any more#but i did it before so i can do it again#even if its harder then it used to be#ill be trying#also sharing this cuz idk who else need to hear this#and if no one does#well atlest i wote down this dream so i can come back a remeber it again
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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Naegami Fluff and/or Shenanigans 10
Byakuya just looks like he's like mint cookies. I dunno why I feel this way but he just gives that to me. Plus, it's KINDA cute as a headcanon. Like, mint cookies, minting money. Uh... Mint is green His tie is green. I dunno! This one is very miniscule. Which is why I am now going to expand this thought via Naegami. Aka, one day, Makoto accidently steals Byakuya's stupid little mint cookies. Hijinks insure. Ahem It all begins one day when Makoto's a bit hungry and lost of what to eat. He doesn't really feel like cooking at all. Maybe he's just feeling a bit lazy and lethargic that day. Or, perhaps, he was just craving a little snack. Regardless though, the boy decides to rummage around in the pantry in search for a tasty treat to sink his teeth into. Eventually, the boy finds a nice box of mint cookies and, without much thought, he opens it up and begins snacking. He then takes the box with him and maybe does some activity while eating a bit mindlessly. Maybe watching some videos, reading some manga. What matters though is that, after a while, the box becomes empty and he's both a bit bummed out that there's no more cookies but also just a bit embarrassed that he ate them all like that without noticing until the last minute. Makoto tries not to think much of it though and swiftly discards the empty box. Here's him munching on one of the cookies btw.
Fast-forward a day later and Byakuya searches the pantry in search of a small serving of the cookies he "invested" in that he totally didn't buy on a whim with his boyfriend in a dinky supermarket to try something new. However, gasp! They're gone! Who could have done this? Certainly not the heir! He would have known if he'd ate them all. He's not one to forget such a fact. Thus, his head turns to the only culprit there that could have done such a thing to his Great Value thin mint cookies that he was lowkey a tad bit interested in trying and judging for himself. Emphasis on the judging cus the heir's got a way more refined taste to actually ENJOY Great Value cookies like the average joe. And, Makoto. Yeah, him. There is just that immediate realization in his eyes. Oh, crap. he done goofed, didn't he. Therefore, the boy tries his best to tell the truth. Before he can confess what he did though, Byakuya interrupts him and begins his investigation. Basically, Byakuya literally treats this whole situation like a crime case. A crime scene with a murder victim, suspects, and a culprit that needs to be caught at all cost. Therefore, the bastard starts interrogating Makoto, acting that he really IS upset and has no choice but to solve this mystery once and for all. However, Makoto can tell the heir isn't TOO mad though the word's the heir says aren't to be ignored. The boy can tell that, even though the cookies were cheap garbage in the heir's eyes, he still had that long-lasting curiosity to actually try them. By eating the mint cookies, Makoto took that away from him. So, regardless of the lighthearted air to the situation, Makoto still had that guilt festering inside. The heir's antics do distract his mind a bit as he questions Makoto on where he was on the night of the crime, estimates the time in which the crime took place, and even pulls out a notepad to write down all of this information. Eventually, Makoto ends up spilling everything after this goes on for a while. He played along for a bit. However, the boy's guilt kept festering and festering into a boiling point that he could not handle any longer. When he speaks of what occurred, Makoto is very visibly embarrassed. Though he isn't one to do this type of thing often, the fact that he ingested a whole box of the thin mints still left him feeling ashamed. Byakuya does end up cheering the boy up in his own Togami way however. Like, the two chat a bit and it's oddly sweet.
Byakuya basically tells Makoto that he wasn't that mad at him and he should have expected something like this to happen at some point. The heir's picked up on Makoto's good and iffy habits after all. Makoto can't help but say sorry again though cus Makoto's just like that. They decide to put this situation aside though and get some new cookies instead that aren't Great Value ones. Aka, it's baking time!
Here's them with the cookies. They made too many.
#danganronpa#danganronpa makoto#makoto naegi#danganronpa byakuya#byakuya togami#naegami#naegami talk#text sector#it becomes greater than the cookies#That's right! They're going gourmet this time around!#Byakuya really doesn't hold back at all and pulls out all his greatest chefs & bakers to give his boyfriend and him some spectacular cookie#or ooooh! maybe since makoto just has that energy he ends up wanting to help bake the cookies with the chefs too#and byakuya initially tells him that there's no need to but he eventually joins too#or maybe the two just bake the cookies themselves without the need of the chefs. the chefs work hard anyway#they kiss a bit after too or something#cus cute gays#and cuddle together on their bed too. that too. definitely that.#and ooooh! maybe makoto saves a lot of the cookies and gives them to the rest of his classmates the day after!#byakuya acts a bit annoyed about the prospect but he'll live. guy's just masking his slight fondness of his classmates at this point#then again the two made too many cookies anyway and there was no way the two were eating them all regardless if makoto has too many
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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i would really appreciate it if i didn't have a brain that thought torturing me was a helpful response to being scared of us. im your copilot stop fucking tazing me you dick
#good fucking god. im going to crawl out of bed now that was all so pointless#what they never tell you about mental illness is what a massive waste of your time it is. jfc you stupid asshole#i hate you intrusive thoughts i hate you i hate you i hate you. die.#all the rest of it too tbh but those in particular. haunted by the knowledge that i will never be able to fight my limbic system or whateve#like brass knuckle fucking bike chain with the lock on bat with nails in it etc. absolutely sick of that guy idc how sympathetic he is#that motherfucker needs to pay for what he's done to me and im not joking even a little bit#ugh im going to go distract myself with something stupid now. whatever#edit im adding in some of the good things that happened today bc it was actually good and i feel better now :v#we got our first proper snow of the season so i got to go walk around in that. twas beautiful and my dogs were very cute#the last couple of times it snowed here i was too depressed/burnt out/whatever to like. go have fun in it#and it's our first snow w hoagie obviously (and maybe his first snow bc he's like. 1 y/o)#im still on break and ive been vaguely if not very un-vaguely tormented by the prospect of registering for classes#even though i think they start in like. 2 days.#combined w the need to do like. a comedically large amount of dishes. like nothing to eat on for days bc of my ass amounts#am i registered for classes? no. but im working on the unforseen obstacle in question and i feel better bc of that#waiting on an email feels a lot comfier than sitting on smth very urgent without knowing its exact deadline (<- too scared to look) unable#to bring yourself to do it yknow? and the dishes got done. small miracles#like today was good my brain just ambushed me again
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Debating on whether or not it's a good idea to take a nap rn like im playing a strategy game
#Like ok if i take a nap will i fuck up my sleep schedule will i sleep for 20 hours again? If i take a nap will i be tired enough to go to#Bed at a reasonable time today? And what if i try to stay up for the rest of the day just so i don't fuck everything up?#But what if it makes things worse? I can barely b#Keep my eyes open. Im so ohh ah so eepy sleepy but will sinking into slumber help me kr be my downfall#Many things to decide#text#text post
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Wolmeric?
(please, hold on, I'm working on it)
#it was suppose to be a quick thing but i couldnt make myself to sit to it yesterday but sketched it out late in the night and didnt finish#and yeah was suppose to be a quick thing but oopsie#anyway maybe not today?? idk i was at work and im now procrasinating at 3am lol was resting#also slept like 5h and Im so eepy should go to bed already#TOMORROW???? hopefully#STAY TUNED#thank you anon! for those who missed I asked yesterday to give me some ships to draw cause idk what to draw lol#ask#anon#(also bought the Conclave book and Im in fucking love so stay tuned for catholic old man yaoi [drew them only once unbelievable])#(I loved the movie saw it like 3 times Lawre//llini my beloved)#BUT YEAH THANK YOU ANON AGAIN I HONESTLY FORGOT I CAN DRAW THEM LOL i am a fake ocs mother...
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Can’t believe I got stuck with a fucked up perception of morality and ethics and I’m not even catholic. What do you mean my brain thinks I’m irredeemably evil for looking at 1 bed apartments and studios? Why do I feel like I have to confess to tumblr.com????
#shit fucking stupid brain#everybody in our house kept flip flopping on what they want to do next year. myself included#everyone sat down and said they were planning on renewing except for me who’s on the fence#so I’m like great. I’ll get a one bed and get the fuck out of here#and then my other roomate now wants to move out with me#which is fair bc I told him we could get a 2 bed together a week ago if he wanted to get out#but that was before I overheard my roomates talking about how much they hate me to the rest of our friend group#and in fairness that got cleared up and we’re good now#but still#idk man going two months living with your friends treating you like shit but refusing to talk to you about it#like I really don’t want to share a house with others at the moment. maybe never again#and I feel BAD bc this was a one off thing and the guy who wants to move out with me has been dealing w this shit for MONTHS#the reason we had a housing convo was because he and another roomate decided they wouldn’t renew if the other was going to#and then last minute they both decided actually they were going to stay#idk man I feel like if I go solo I’m abandoning this guy in an extremely shitty situation#blow 800 a month living along or stay where he is and live with people who won’t even speak to him#and I feel like the right thing to do is move out with him and get a 2 bed somewhere#but every time I think about it black ooze starts filling my head#anyway#this probably sounds so stupid#chat am I irredeemably evil for saying fuck this and leaving everyone else to figure shit out on their own??? is that allowed???
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I'm sorry, but if you all you see in this character is Sexy Girlboss Lady and not a deeply vulnerable, traumatized woman with a complicated relationship to both her own flaws (in the sense of gladly accepting some of them while fearing certain displays of failure) and the person she loves (criticizing them for their overconfidence and recognizing the danger they pose, while simultaneously being genuinely moved by their kindness and thinking the universe is better off for having them in it), then that is a you problem, and I cannot help you.
#she's incredibly impulsive and reckless but also has something of a like...martyr complex almost. in terms of how willing she is to#sacrifice herself (literally and figuratively)#all of these things are right there! you don't have to look very hard for them!#people really will just go out of their way to hate anything that's not Super-Pristine And Perfect And Palatable ESPECIALLY when#a woman (real or fictional let's be honest) is involved#every day I have to see things. and every day I am tired.#mel screams about fictional ladies again#I NEED TO *GO TO BED*#(WILL I? debatable. every time I have sat/laid down/etc. Alone With My Thoughts for the past week it has been TERRIBLE and#the irl equivalent of what hell is. so. maybe let's avoid that. foregoing sleep probably isn't the BEST way of avoiding that but I#cannot let my brain rest for a second right now I WILL drive myself insane. genuinely.)
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me waking up on a day where i have a dr's/medical appointment of any kind and remembering that i do indeed have a medical appointment i have to go to

#nathalie patron saint of chronic pain and eternal bed-rest. grant me strength on this terrible day#this one might be kind of ok MAYBE its just a pre-op....consultation? is that the right word?#a pre-op...discussion(?)...appt before i have my 1st exploratory endometriosis surgery at the end of the month#last time i had surgery and i think the only other time i was like 4 and had no idea what was going on#and was out of it anyways cus i had severe blood poisoning from a weird freak infection hense the surgery#and folks it Did Not Go Well nobody communicated what was happening with me directly before they put me under bcus i was A Small Child#and it was like The Year 2000 or 2001 and i was Undiagnosed Autistic and fully did not understand they were giving me 'sleep' gas#medicine so i freaked out and then when i woke up i continued to freak out cus i thought no time had passed and i ran out of the room into#the waiting area where my moms were still like 80% delirious and was so scared and overstimulated#that all i could do was sob in my moms' arms and then. i bit?? one of my moms?? in loke the arm or something?#for some reason? i dont know why i did that. anyways then i passed out again and woke up in the family car and my moms were like#ITS OK YOURE SAFE YOURE GOOD like IMMEDIATELY so i did not try to like. Leave The Car or something#so. anyways. as u can surely tell. im rly looking forward to Getting Surgery Again. with that as my baseline experience. lmfao 😭
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