#Tinder Cheat Codes

[emotionaldamages]

american girl & british boy - lando norris

summary- established relationship

pairings- lando norris x sargeant!reader

authors note- might be spelling errors, feel free to put in requests

masterlist

y/nsargeant

liked by landonorris, logansargeant,and 2,837,872

y/nsargeant I ♡ my bf

view all comments

landonorris my love

logansargeant disgusting

username ITS A NEED OF WHAT THEY HAVE

logansargeant i expected a better caption from you considering how much of a swiftie you are

username they’re so lover coded i fear

username couple goals

lilymhe you're cheating on me

y/nsargeant it's not what it looks like baby

alex_albon @ landonorris you seeing this???

landonorris I am??

alex_albon we'll get married lando

y/nsargeant oh fuck no back off lily and lando are mine alex

username don't you just love lover from other couples

username if they ever break up please know i’ll be dead

username that should be me holding your hand💔💔

username don’t let your boyfriend stop you from finding the love of your life

maxverstappen p said she wants you back asap

y/nsargeant tell her I'll be back soon😔🤞🏻

username i wish i was lando so i could just stare at her all day

landonorris

liked by y/nsargeant, carlossainz55, and 2,927,415

landonorris my travel buddy

view all comments

y/nsargeant I love you❤

username I love them so much together:(

username hes so inlove

username if my future bf doesnt love me this much i swear-

username tHaT sHoUlD bE mE

carlossainz55 I thought I was your travel buddy😔

y/nsargeant not anymore buddy

charles_leclerc your down bad my man

y/nsargeant so are you so stfu

username y/n arguing with the other drivers is everything

username I'm going on tinder

logansargeant gross. give me my sister back

landonorris no can do buddy

y/nsargeant

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 3,837,872

y/nsargeant yup yup going back to these mfs in a week

tagged landonorris, mercedesamgf1, pierre gasly, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, arthurleclerc, carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, and logansargeant

view all comments

mercedesamgf1 delete that-toto

y/nsargeant no can do grandpa

mercedesamgf1 your not allowed in the garage

y/nsargeant I always find a way in😍 now go to sleep gramps

username LANDO

username y/n stays bullying toto

username lewis was kidnapped

oscarpiastri I slayed

username can we talk about how cute charles looks

y/nsargeant him dying is cute?

username PLS-

username y/n always getting flipped off

y/nsargeant I know right😔

pierregasly she gets on my nerves

logansargeant she deserves them

y/nsargeant I'm older dont try me

logansargeant BY 5 MINUTES

y/nsargeant best 5 minutes of my life and then your screeching came along

landonorris I'm pretty sure you were screeching as well baby

y/nsargeant dont defend him😒

username them arguing in the comments is the best

username carlando❤

username I'm obsessed with all of them

lewishamilton I was kidnapped for no reason

username summer is almost over

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, y/nsargeant, and 3,827,182

landonorris my gf made me post this but late night shenanigans

view all comments

lilymhe y/n always has the best sleepovers

username I want this friend group

username y/n being on top of that thingy is terrifying especially with her thoughts

username I need friends

maxverstappen y/n decided to jump off that

carlossainz55 I got pushed off the couch by y/n

alex_albon y/n stole my gf

charles_leclerc she hit me with a wooden spoon

arthurleclerc she let me sleep

lewishamilton she yelled at me to bring roscoe

pierregasly she yelled at me to bring kika

logansargeant she slammed the door on my face

danielriccardo she threw cake at me

oscarpiastri she stole my phone

landonorris she made me sleep on the floor

y/nsargeant ACCUSATIONS FALSE ACCUSATIONS

username damn they really came for her throat

y/nsargeant IM NEVER HAVING A SLEEPOVER AGAIN I HATE YALL

y/nsargeant

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen, and 3,152,837

y/nsargeant back to paddock-sitting no more vacation-sitting

tagged lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen, landonorris, lilymhe, alex_albon, pierregasly, sebastianvettel, danielriccardo, heidiberger_, alexandrasaintmleux

view all comments

landonorris we are so cute

alex_albon was a chef slay

pierregasly we are not that bad

lilymhe yall are horrible

y/nsargeant what she said

heidiberger_ what she said

francisca.cgomez what she said

username lando and y/n are the power couple

charles_leclerc stalker

username y/n stalking charles

maxverstappen you are a mean babysitter

y/nsargeant and you need to stop running away

username dont you just love love

username I want a lando and y/n relationship

username if they dont get married istg

danielriccardo lan looking a little funny in the first photo

sebastianvettel nice see you guys

username oh to be loved

[cmdr-graves]

Yes please explain it 😭 Istg I miss a few posts & he starts being a whore (jk... hes always one.)

okay hi! sorry this is confusing :/ i intended for this to be a multi ship blog and all of these relationships to be separate. i love to ship so exploring different ones is very fun for me!

there are currently 4 characters i ship with graves:

@/callsign-coyote (this is my graves canon ship) - graves has a thing for dog coded men (see his attraction to soap who wants nothing to do with him) and coyote gives him unyielding loyalty. anyways they're gonna get married in vegas and graves will probably go to therapy about it

@/hiraeth-muse - freya - graya is love. they are simply two broken people that cannot seem to stay away from each other.

@/shadow-company-phoenix - phoenix and graves have a pretty established relationship but graves is overall really terrible to phoenix. one of those things being regularly cheating on phoenix, which brings me to my next one

@/ask-roachwithaflame (idk if this is even a ship, i have never even spoken to roach's mod 1:1) - this started as a tinder/grindr open rp i think. graves lowk just wants to fuck, but roach started flirting with phoenix and graves very much wants his cake and to eat it too so he's a little upsetti spaghetti about that

i hope this clears up some confusion but i am happy to clarify further if needed! <3

[the-most-humble-blog]

🩸 THE CREEP IS BORN WHEN YOU LOWER YOURSELF A Blacksite Dispatch on Power, Women, and Maintaining Frame

---

You ever feel that pull? That tug in your chest telling you to be “the good guy” and go talk to her? To “just be confident”? To “shoot your shot”? To lower your voice, shrink your presence, and audition for a woman who wouldn’t acknowledge you if she didn’t feel cute that day?

Let’s cut the shit.

You don’t need advice from guys who get girls just by existing. You don’t need tips from women whose social currency comes from rejection.

You need reality.

You need rules built from fire — not from “feelings.” Not from Instagram captions. And not from some therapist trying to convince you your heartbreak is progress.

This dispatch isn’t for everyone.

It’s for the man who’s tired of lying to himself. The man who refuses to keep begging for attention like it’s a reward. The man who woke up and saw the game for what it is.

🤫 THE LIES THEY SELL YOU

"Shoot your shot."

"Confidence is sexy."

"Rejection is part of the journey."

"Be emotionally available."

"Girls like when you're real."

Bullsh*t.

They don’t want real. They want power, image, proof of value. They want confirmation that other women already want you. They want safety — but only if it looks like danger with abs.

So when you walk up cold, heart in hand, just trying to be “respectful and confident”? They clock you. Not as brave. As disposable.

🧠 YOU DON’T CHASE. YOU DON’T PURSUE. YOU BUILD.

If she doesn’t like you now? She won’t like you more after you give her attention. She’ll like you less.

Because the second you show interest, she has all the power. And most of them don’t know what to do with that power except punish you for giving it to them.

You don’t become more attractive by begging. You become forgettable.

🔥 REALITY CHECK: WOMEN DON’T LIVE IN YOUR WORLD

When a woman says “just be confident,” she’s saying that from a place of romantic abundance.

Her DMs are full. Her Tinder matches are endless. She gets validation by breathing.

Your world is different.

You walk into rejection like it’s normal. You fight tooth and nail for a second glance. You earn your value. Every inch of it.

So no — you don’t “shoot your shot.” You build a world where she shoots hers.

🛑 STOP LISTENING TO CHADS

Chads are walking social loopholes.

They don’t date. They receive.

Their advice is useless to 90% of men. They operate off looks, clout, confidence sharpened by success, and the trauma immunity that comes from never being told no.

When they tell you “just go for it” — they’re playing chess with your life using cheat codes they never had to earn.

You listen to them? You get laughed at in public. Or worse — you get labeled. The creep. The try-hard. The off-putting dude who couldn’t take a hint.

🧷 THE CREATION OF A CREEP

You don’t become a creep by existing. You become one when you give your power away and pretend it’s connection.

Here’s how it happens:

You say hi to someone not interested

She says you made her uncomfortable

The story gets twisted

You’re now “that guy”

Not because you were malicious. But because you were weak — and weakness in the dating world gets punished.

🚫 NEVER. EVER. EVER.

INTERACT ROMANTICALLY WITH ANYONE UNLESS THEY’RE ALREADY SHOWING YOU EXTREME INTEREST.

Not mid-level curiosity. Not polite conversation. Not flirty “maybe” energy.

Extreme. Obvious. Shameless.

That’s the bar.

If it’s not that?

You walk. You nod. You disappear.

You do not chase.

You do not beg for a maybe.

Because in the moment you chase, you become lesser. And you never want to be the man who willingly made himself small for someone who never planned to hold your name in her mouth past Tuesday.

🩸 HOW TO KNOW IF SHE’S INTERESTED?

Here’s a checklist:

She finds excuses to be near you

She touches your arm mid-laugh

She triple-texts

She compliments your mind, not just your face

She asks questions — not gives answers

She doesn’t want the interaction to end

If you don’t see that? She’s not in. She’s not worth it.

You’re not a tester. You’re not the guy who gets trained to become desirable.

You’re either wanted fully or you’re gone silently.

⚔️ YOU PROTECT YOURSELF FROM REJECTION BY NEVER EARNING IT

Read that again.

The best way to avoid rejection is to never give them a chance to reject you. You move like someone who expects to be pursued. And when that pursuit doesn’t come?

You don’t change your standards.

You double down on your value.

You get in the gym. You lock in your career. You study silence. You become unreachable. Until she makes it clear she wants to reach.

🧬 WOMEN DON’T “WARM UP TO YOU”

That’s another lie.

If she didn’t want you instinctively, immediately, subconsciously — then she never will. And if she does?

It’s after someone else ruined her. It’s her trauma dragging itself to your doorstep looking for shelter.

You are not a rebuild project. You are the fortress.

🎯 DON’T CHASE “FAIR”

Dating is not fair.

The concepts of “fairness” and “justice” in romantic dynamics? That’s gynocentric language meant to keep you submissive.

You are not here to even the playing field. You’re here to build the goddamn stadium.

You are not here to wait your turn. You’re here to become the event.

🧠 NEVER. TAKE. FEMALE. DATING. ADVICE. AS A MAN.

Ever.

Not from your mom. Not from your sister. Not from the girl bestie. Not from the therapist. Not from the TikTok coach.

Why?

Because they’re not men. They don’t live in a world where attraction is earned through pain.

They don’t have to worry about being accused of harassment for existing. They don’t get labeled “creepy” just for smiling at the wrong person.

Their world is reaction. Yours is construction.

They don’t have to build value. You do.

They don’t know what it’s like to be invisible until proven valuable.

So stop asking them how to survive a jungle they’ve only ever watched from a glass tower.

🛐 FINAL COMMANDMENTS

You never speak first unless spoken to with warmth.

You never “check in” unless she’s matching energy.

You never compliment unless it’s returned tenfold.

You never let your desire outpace her investment.

You never— NEVER — give time to someone who wouldn’t brag about being seen with you.

You are not their emotional support dog. You are not their nice guy safety net. You are the man building a legend in silence.

And when the right one comes?

You won’t have to “shoot your shot.”

She’ll hand you the gun.

---

🔥 CALL TO ACTION (CTA)

🔁 Reblog if you’ve ever been punished for being respectful 🧠 Save this if you’ve been called creepy for wanting connection 🩸 Share this with someone who tells you to “shoot your shot” 🛡️ Bookmark it if you’ve vowed to never chase what doesn’t want you

---

This isn’t advice. This is doctrine. Blacksite Literature™ is not a blog — it’s psychological defense training for men living in a world that forgot what dignity feels like.

Follow @the-most-humble-blog for more scrolltrap dispatches, cadence warfare, and nuclear masculine realism.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hello sex witch I need some advice! First is it bad if I’m interested in having a lot of casual sex? I grew up repressed due to religion and internalized homophobia but now that I’m (mostly…) over that I really want to explore and have sex with a lot of different women (while staying safe of course) and I’m only 21 so I have time to it, I’m not really interested in a serious relationship anymore but I won’t reject anything if I like the person. My question is: how do I go about it? I’m going to back to college soon first time in person since I’ve been doing online classes, should I try to go to parties or something? Or should I just stick to clubs? One of my goals is to travel to a big foreign city and go to the clubs there…..but how to actually hook up w people? Or should I download tinder and try that? I haven’t had good experiences with dating apps in the past. My point is: I want to have fun, I want to get experience and I want to enjoy myself most of the time, but I also want to stay safe (no STDs) in the process. I’m planning on having a little bag to put like condoms in and like other sex stuff. (Not sure exactly tho, I’m thinking like vibrators, do I need lube (?) please help 😭 !

hi anon,

we've got a lot to parse through here, so let's just tackle these questions in order.

1.) no, that's fine. wanting to have sex is completely morally neutral.

2.) there's no surefire way to hook up with people; it depends a lot on what kind of interactions you're looking for, where you look, your personal tastes, and a lot of random chance and luck. parties and clubs are great if you like those, but another really easy way to meet people who you may like as friends as well as sexual partners is by just going to groups dedicated to your interests and getting to know people.

3.) the part where you actually hook up with someone only happens if you express to someone that you'd like to have sex with them. there aren't any cheat codes to learn, you just need to like. tell people you want to have sex with them.

4.) you can download tinder or any other dating apps you want, but that won't negate the part where you have to talk to people in order to have sex with them.

5.) if you want to have a lot of sex, I'd recommend getting STI testing done within 2-3 weeks after each new sexual partner in addition to talking to each person about their sexual history and whether they know if they might be transmitting anything.

6. carrying tools for safe sex is more important than carrying a vibrator (although there's no reason why you can't have both). condoms for penises and shared sex toys, dental dams for oral and eating ass, and gloves or finger cots for penetration with hands and fingers! (more on condom storage tips here.) and of course, tons of water-based lube!

[web3turbo]

DEAR BROKE MILLENNIALS AND CRYPTO CURIOUS, THIS IS YOUR FINANCIAL UPRISING

Listen up. I'm about to drop some truth that'll make your traditional banker sweat.

THE OLD FINANCIAL SYSTEM:

A Toxic Relationship

Remember when "investing" meant drowning in boring bank terms and collecting pennies in interest? Yeah, me too. I was in a dead-end relationship with traditional finance, and it was time for a breakup.

Enter XBANKING. My financial soulmate.

THE COLD, HARD (AWESOME) FACTS

This Isn't Your Grandpa's Investment platform.

- 35+ Blockchain Networks (Global domination, anyone?)

- 140+ Supported Tokens (Choice is power)

- 74 Web3 Wallets (Flexibility is sexy)

- $1,000,000,000+ Total Value Locked (Billion. With a B.)

THE XB TOKEN:

Your Financial Middle Finger to The System

Forget everything you know about investments. The XB token is like that rebellious friend who actually knows how to make money work:

16% Annual Returns (Bye, 0.02% bank interest)

Daily Token Airdrops (Free money, literally)

Community Governance (We make the rules now)

Future-Proof Investing

RESTAKING:

The Financial Cheat Code

Imagine your money having a side hustle. That's restaking.

How it works:- Your tokens earn initial rewards- Those rewards generate MORE rewards- It's basically money inception

The Tokenomics Breakdown (No MBA Required)

Total XB Tokens: 10,500,000- Strategically distributed- No corporate BS- Designed for actual growth

My Rebellion Story was the classic broke millennial.

Scrolling through finance posts, feeling hopeless.

Then XBANKING happened.

Timeline of My Financial Awakening:

- Day 1: Skeptical AF

- Week 1: Cautiously intrigued

- Month 3: Full-blown crypto evangelist

getting started:

Easier than your last tinder date

1. Buy XB tokens on Raydium DEX2.

Drop them in XBANKING's liquidity pool

3. Hold for 30 days

4. Watch passive income roll in

Why XBANKING Is Different

- 24/7 Support (They actually mean 24/7)

- Transparent as hell

- Community

-driven

- No corporate overlords

The Future is Decentralized (And Awesome)XBANKING isn't just a platform. It's a movement:

- Crypto Wallet Coming Soon

- Continuous Innovation

- Financial Freedom for All

Real Talk: Why I'm Committed After months of research, testing, and crypto therapy, XBANKING feels like home.

Join the Revolution:

- 🌐 Website: https://xbanking.org

- 💬 Telegram: https://t.me/xbanking

- 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/xbanking_org

Disclaimer: This is my journey. Crypto is wild. Do your homework.

The Ultimate Plot Twist XBANKING isn't selling dreams. They're handing you the tools to build your own.Are you ready to stop being a passenger and start driving your financial future?

Attention broke millennials, crypto skeptics, and financial rebels:

Your time is NOW.

P.S. Future you will send a thank you text for reading this. I promise.

#CryptoRebellion #FinancialFreedom #XBANKINGRevolution

[puckthedrama]

https://www.tumblr.com/puckthedrama/752298451879018496/httpswwwtumblrcompuckthedrama752293571801006?source=share

how tf did he cheat on her she's the hottest girl i've ever seen wtf

no literally 😭

but it’s said he wasn’t into the long distance thing and needed to hook up with someone all the time so since she wasn’t there with him, he looked around the places he was in. that’s what he used the tinder for.

he’s got hoes in different area codes 😭

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Part 2 on Meghans new BFF Whitney Wolfe-Herd more juicy info and proofs of her grifting &amp; ex-bf claims YACHTING by u/Ruth_Lily

Part 2 on Meghan’s new BFF Whitney Wolfe-Herd, more juicy info, and proofs of her grifting & ex-bf claims YACHTING https://ift.tt/KD1jkFd Part I i is a few stories down in this group and I am not allowed to link as it’s against the rules. To sum up: Whitney Wolfe (at the time) before marrying Herd had cheated on Justin Mateen with a trustfunder, Michael Herd & Mateen alleges she was yachting in these texts, posted here in this articlehttps://https://ift.tt/upgJo7G *Whitney Wolfe was in charge of marketing, she can’t code*Her job in marketing, since she was Mateen’s gf, was to go to college campuses to recruit students to use Tinder*Wolfe now Wolfe-Herd claimed sexism, when in fact it was just 2 people who had broken up and Mateen had been dumped by this grifting ho*Wolfe won millions in court for this*Mateen mentions the alleged yachting and the fact that she’s with a trustfunder in the texts, which Wolfe, now Wolfe-Herd calls sexist*Previous to meeting Herd, Wolfe was always LW, into the climate, now she flies in the Herd family’s private jet everywhere*Addtionally, from other readings, she stole everything from Tinder to made Bumble*Bumble is no longer doing well as a dating app, she resigned, but still gets paid as you know ​ post link: https://ift.tt/kQG8VbJ author: Ruth_Lily submitted: November 11, 2023 at 10:11PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

[proudaussieboomer1957]

time was, if you had lyrics to birdhouse in your soul as your tinder bio, you ended up married within five years, but that doesn't work anymore

Patched it out to sell you super likes and season passes and other microtransactions

Cant have cheat codes anymore

Cause of woke

"how did you forget XYZ?!" I didn't, I didn't include it because it would wreck the curve. If you think one was left off in error, pick one of the provided choices and then leave your suggestion in the tags

[huijsen]

being a girl on tinder is legit a cheat code for dating btw

[ifindcheater]

ㅤUnmasking Screen Secrets: Decode the Digital Clues!ㅤ In this captivating Pinterest photo, I unveil the hidden world behind our screens, guiding you to decipher digital mysteries with ease. Explore visual clues that reveal the secrets of tech interfaces, offering insights into the code and design that shape our online experience. Let your curiosity lead the way as I break down the complexities of digital landscapes, making the virtual world more accessible and intriguing. Join me on this journey to become a savvy digital detective! 🔍 Find Someone Cheating Online For Free 🕵️‍♀️ ifindcheaters, cheating, spouse, tinder, cheaters, divorce, lies, infidelity, relationship

[proudaussieboomer1957]

yep. Found her, married her, the whole bit.

Back in the day Tinder had a cheat code where if you set your bio as lyrics from a They Might Be Giants song, you would instantly match with the love of your life. But now that's been replaced with microtransactions

Have you found a romantic partner using a dating app?

[the-most-humble-blog]

🕯️ “What You Call ‘Creepy’ Might Be a Man Trying Not to Shatter”

They don’t warn men what happens when they keep it all in. Not the sadness. Not the ache. Not the loneliness that’s a little too quiet at 2AM when no one texts back. But the world doesn’t see that.

It just sees a guy… standing there… existing wrong.

And now? He’s a problem.

---

You ever feel that pull? That tug in your chest telling you to be “the good guy” and go talk to her? To “just be confident”? To “shoot your shot”? To lower your voice, shrink your presence, and audition for a woman who wouldn’t acknowledge you if she didn’t feel cute that day?

Let’s cut the shit.

You don’t need advice from guys who get girls just by existing. You don’t need tips from women whose social currency comes from rejection.

You need reality.

You need rules built from fire — not from “feelings.” Not from Instagram captions. And not from some therapist trying to convince you your heartbreak is progress.

This dispatch isn’t for everyone.

It’s for the man who’s tired of lying to himself. The man who refuses to keep begging for attention like it’s a reward. The man who woke up and saw the game for what it is.

🤫 THE LIES THEY SELL YOU

"Shoot your shot."

"Confidence is sexy."

"Rejection is part of the journey."

"Be emotionally available."

"Girls like when you're real."

Bullsh*t.

They don’t want real. They want power, image, proof of value. They want confirmation that other women already want you. They want safety — but only if it looks like danger with abs.

So when you walk up cold, heart in hand, just trying to be “respectful and confident”? They clock you. Not as brave. As disposable.

🧠 YOU DON’T CHASE. YOU DON’T PURSUE. YOU BUILD.

If she doesn’t like you now? She won’t like you more after you give her attention. She’ll like you less.

Because the second you show interest, she has all the power. And most of them don’t know what to do with that power except punish you for giving it to them.

You don’t become more attractive by begging. You become forgettable.

🔥 REALITY CHECK: WOMEN DON’T LIVE IN YOUR WORLD

When a woman says “just be confident,” she’s saying that from a place of romantic abundance.

Her DMs are full. Her Tinder matches are endless. She gets validation by breathing.

Your world is different.

You walk into rejection like it’s normal. You fight tooth and nail for a second glance. You earn your value. Every inch of it.

So no — you don’t “shoot your shot.” You build a world where she shoots hers.

🛑 STOP LISTENING TO CHADS

Chads are walking social loopholes.

They don’t date. They receive.

Their advice is useless to 90% of men. They operate off looks, clout, confidence sharpened by success, and the trauma immunity that comes from never being told no.

When they tell you “just go for it” — they’re playing chess with your life using cheat codes they never had to earn.

You listen to them? You get laughed at in public. Or worse — you get labeled. The creep. The try-hard. The off-putting dude who couldn’t take a hint.

🧷 THE CREATION OF A CREEP

You don’t become a creep by existing. You become one when you give your power away and pretend it’s connection.

Here’s how it happens:

You say hi to someone not interested

She says you made her uncomfortable

The story gets twisted

You’re now “that guy”

Not because you were malicious. But because you were weak — and weakness in the dating world gets punished.

🚫 NEVER. EVER. EVER.

INTERACT ROMANTICALLY WITH ANYONE UNLESS THEY’RE ALREADY SHOWING YOU EXTREME INTEREST.

Not mid-level curiosity. Not polite conversation. Not flirty “maybe” energy.

Extreme. Obvious. Shameless.

That’s the bar.

If it’s not that?

You walk. You nod. You disappear.

You do not chase.

You do not beg for a maybe.

Because in the moment you chase, you become lesser. And you never want to be the man who willingly made himself small for someone who never planned to hold your name in her mouth past Tuesday.

🩸 HOW TO KNOW IF SHE’S INTERESTED?

Here’s a checklist:

She finds excuses to be near you

She touches your arm mid-laugh

She triple-texts

She compliments your mind, not just your face

She asks questions — not gives answers

She doesn’t want the interaction to end

If you don’t see that? She’s not in. She’s not worth it.

You’re not a tester. You’re not the guy who gets trained to become desirable.

You’re either wanted fully or you’re gone silently.

⚔️ YOU PROTECT YOURSELF FROM REJECTION BY NEVER EARNING IT

Read that again.

The best way to avoid rejection is to never give them a chance to reject you. You move like someone who expects to be pursued. And when that pursuit doesn’t come?

You don’t change your standards.

You double down on your value.

You get in the gym. You lock in your career. You study silence. You become unreachable. Until she makes it clear she wants to reach.

🧬 WOMEN DON’T “WARM UP TO YOU”

That’s another lie.

If she didn’t want you instinctively, immediately, subconsciously — then she never will. And if she does?

It’s after someone else ruined her. It’s her trauma dragging itself to your doorstep looking for shelter.

You are not a rebuild project. You are the fortress.

🎯 DON’T CHASE “FAIR”

Dating is not fair.

The concepts of “fairness” and “justice” in romantic dynamics? That’s gynocentric language meant to keep you submissive.

You are not here to even the playing field. You’re here to build the goddamn stadium.

You are not here to wait your turn. You’re here to become the event.

🧠 NEVER. TAKE. FEMALE. DATING. ADVICE. AS A MAN.

Ever.

Not from your mom. Not from your sister. Not from the girl bestie. Not from the therapist. Not from the TikTok coach.

Why?

Because they’re not men. They don’t live in a world where attraction is earned through pain.

They don’t have to worry about being accused of harassment for existing. They don’t get labeled “creepy” just for smiling at the wrong person.

Their world is reaction. Yours is construction.

They don’t have to build value. You do.

They don’t know what it’s like to be invisible until proven valuable.

So stop asking them how to survive a jungle they’ve only ever watched from a glass tower.

🛐 FINAL COMMANDMENTS

You never speak first unless spoken to with warmth.

You never “check in” unless she’s matching energy.

You never compliment unless it’s returned tenfold.

You never let your desire outpace her investment.

You never— NEVER — give time to someone who wouldn’t brag about being seen with you.

You are not their emotional support dog. You are not their nice guy safety net. You are the man building a legend in silence.

And when the right one comes?

You won’t have to “shoot your shot.”

She’ll hand you the gun.

---

🔥 CALL TO ACTION (CTA)

🔁 Reblog if you’ve ever been punished for being respectful 🧠 Save this if you’ve been called creepy for wanting connection 🩸 Share this with someone who tells you to “shoot your shot” 🛡️ Bookmark it if you’ve vowed to never chase what doesn’t want you

---

This isn’t advice. This is doctrine. Blacksite Literature™ is not a blog — it’s psychological defense training for men living in a world that forgot what dignity feels like.

Follow @the-most-humble-blog for more scrolltrap dispatches, cadence warfare, and nuclear masculine realism.

[pompadourpink]

Hi mom I'm going to spend three weeks in France in a few months and I was wondering what things I should know so I don't upset anyone lol thanks for all you do

Hello dear,

Exciting!

We are attached to politeness. Say hello when you start a conversation with anyone (including salespeople), enter any type of professional place (bakery, small store, waiting room) and to the bus driver. Walking up to a stranger and immediately asking a question is extremely rude, and we will be rude back (which explains our reputation - tourists were unknowingly crass first).

When talking to strangers/salespeople: the right question is something like Bonjour (pause until they make eye contact and say it back), excusez-moi de vous déranger, je ne trouve pas le sucre/je cherche la rue Victor Hugo/---, est-ce que vous pouvez m'aider? (...). Merci beaucoup, bonne journée, au revoir.

If you don't speak French, learn how to pronounce Bonjour, excusez-moi de vous déranger, est-ce que vous parlez anglais? (and after a possible no: C'est pas grave, merci quand même, au revoir) so you don't look like a donkey.

Blend in. Don't be loud, respect people's space (+ escalator and pavement laws), avoid intrusive questions, bashing the country + money talk. No PJs at the store. You are trying to befriend cats; "my way or the highway" will not work.

Use the right pronouns. Level 1: say Vous to any professional, older strangers (including people's relatives, who will say Tu back), and Tu to friends, their friends, any kid or teen. Level 2: most likely say Tu to people your age, unless their energy calls for something else. Level 3: say Tu in non-formal places (bar, tattoo parlour) regardless of age. Cheat code: avoid making a choice by saying things like Comment ça va? instead of Comment tu vas?

Random tourist advice:

In cafés/restaurants: we don't really tip, cooks aren't used to personalised orders, and waiters will leave you alone (no refills, small talk, pet names) unless you lift your hand, make eye contact and mouth "Excusez-moi". You can pay with cash or a debit card but I wouldn't recommend checks.

Other cities are fine but if you are using public transportation in Paris, take notes or download la RATP's app beforehand: you'll often need to take two or three subways to get somewhere and there is no info inside the station.

Travel light and pick trusty trainers, cobblestone doesn't like heels. Watch your step. Men pee outside a lot and people don't pick up dog poo.

Be aware of pickpockets. Zip your pockets, keep your bag on the side or the front, avoid flaunting luxury items or looking touristy, and for the love of God, don't go to the Champs Elysées at night.

Catcalling and street harassment are unfortunately common. Feel free to hook up, condoms shouldn't be a problem but don't expect to find a husband, your typical French Tinder match isn't looking for love.

If you're into skincare, pharmacies are your wet dream.

If you want to travel, take a TGV (very fast train, to book preferably weeks to months before) to get to other cities in 1-5h. London via the Eurostar is 2h30 away, and many capitals are a 2h cheap flight away. Going to Disneyland takes about an hour from downtown Paris to Marne-La-Vallée.

If you need medical assistance, call the 112 (European emergency number) or the 18 (fire brigade, good eggs) and the police, the 17 (take forever to answer).

At the moment, there's a weird thing happening in France where young people (mostly girls) get spiked with needles in nightclubs. Keep yourself safe.

Many museums are free/stores offer discounts if you're under 25, and you get a free ride on a bateau-mouche if your birthday is the same week.

Carry an umbrella and sunglasses, regardless of the season.

More: restaurant guide, why won't the French let me practice my French, list of Parisian museums + Planétarium + movie theatres.

Hope this helps! x

Fanmail - masterlist (2016-) - archives - hire me - reviews (2020-) - Drive

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

a kiss from the moon | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: All these years, all these summers, Jeon Jungkook has loved you. His problem? You have no idea. Mostly because he has always said it far too platonically and thrown up in your lap after saying it. Drunk. Fuck. Oh, yeah, and you're also Park Jimin's best friend since preschool. Shit.

warnings: language; alcohol consumption; pining; JK gets distracted by (your) tits during his quest, typical; non-idol!BTS - purple-haired!Jungkook x sleepy af, noona!reader, ft Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung radiating big soulmate energy; childhood friends-to-lovers

yes, it's JK from the 'Butter' beach photos

--

“I love you!”

You lifted your head out of the mountain of pillows, groggy and hazy, squinting at the moonlight filtering through the floating curtains. The night breeze was warm, drifting in softly with the low hum of cicadas. But what was that other sound? That other sound was familiar, wasn’t it?

You heard your name being shouted, followed by, “Wake up!”

You made a face and stumbled out of the bed, sticking your head out of your bedroom window, your own hair flying back and smacking you in the face.

“Yah! Jeon Jungkook, are you trying to wake up the whole damn neighborhood?!”

“Get down here!”

You put on your best disgruntled expression and peered down at the form on your front lawn, shoving your own hair aside.

“What are you going on about?” you muttered, seeing Jeon Jungkook looking up at you, puffing his cheeks, long wet purple hair fading to gray because of the chlorine from swimming all night at that party Park Jimin had invited you to earlier today, to which you had responded, no thanks, I’m going to sleep all day, I worked three double shifts in a row and I have zero desire to be flung into your family’s swimming pool at this time, but I will acknowledge that your offer is very generous, and then promptly passing out for a good – you glanced at your phone with the pink bunny case Jungkook had given you two summers ago – ten hours and it was still not enough for you to comprehend why your best friend’s best friend was standing on your front lawn yelling at your parents’ house that you were watching for a month while they were in Italy getting drunk on far too expensive wine and eating cheese they probably couldn’t pronounce.

Jungkook was shirtless, clad only in orange swim shorts and sandals like a fucking hooligan. He was clutching a plastic red Solo cup and he threw it at the house, yelling your name again.

“Oh my fucking God, don’t litter, you idiot!” you bellowed back, throwing yourself away from the windowsill and crawling on the floor to your bedroom door like the evolution of mankind, making it from all fours to two legs by the time you got to the stairs – good thing too, you might have broken your neck if you were still disoriented – and you dragged yourself downstairs, yanking your white slip dress straight. Not your choice of pajamas. Your mom’s, who told you to be more ladylike, whatever the fuck that meant, and who also informed you in the same breath that it was your only choice of pajamas since they donated all your clothes from high school.

Awesome.

You go to university and your parents yeet all evidence that they had a child and go vacationing.

Good for them.

You wrenched your front door open and shoved your feet into your dad’s giant brown sandals and clapped your way over to the pink-faced, mildly drunk, shirtless man in swimming trunks on your front lawn.

“It’s two in the morning. Why are you standing here drunk and professing your love like some kind of deranged Romeo?” you sighed, rubbing your eyes. “Why aren’t you at Jimin’s?” You spied the red Solo cup and picked it up, whipping your head back to Jeon Jungkook.

He was staring at you with his mouth open.

Charming.

He didn’t say anything for a good ten seconds.

“Alright, fine, let me call my loser of a best friend and tell him to pick up his loser of a best friend, so I can go back to sleep,” you muttered, about to turn around.

Jungkook seemed to sputter back to life. “Wait, um, noona–”

“He speaks! He’s not dead.”

“A… Ah… Um…”

You squinted at him and reached up to knock the side of his head. “Hello? Anyone in there?”

Jungkook blurted out, “I love you.”

His breath smelled a lot like alcohol.

“Yeah, I got that. You also said that when I got you through your Chemistry and World History exams. Both times. You also say that to like, what, six of your guy friends? Don’t get me started on the amount of times you’ve said it and thrown up in my lap right after. Don’t do that this time,” you added sternly, prodding at his chest. “I’ve got one set of pajamas because my mom forgets that human beings change clothes, so throw up on the grass.”

“Uh… that’s pajamas…?”

“Lady pajamas,” you grumbled sarcastically, lifting the lid and chucking the crumpled Solo cup into your parents’ trash can. “Since I’m not lady enough apparently according to my mom, even though I’m ninety-nine percent sure giant band t-shirts are completely unisex but, whatever, it’s just a dress, not a big deal.”

“Um.”

You looked at Jungkook, who looked back at you, who put your hands up and gestured him to say something, who in response rose his hands and flapped them in confusion, giving you absolutely zero helpful communication. The movement reminded you he had gotten his right arm and hand tattooed in the last couple years, the black ink standing out against tan skin. You hadn’t seen him too many times during your university years, too busy completing research papers and staying late nights in laboratories, only to now end up working on hospital software and sitting on your ass all day. Life, eh? These past three days were spent on working through bugs for the next software update and you had maybe lost all social skills as you attempted to unravel lines of code that you stared at for forty-eight out of the past seventy-two hours.

Fun!

“Do you need a cookie? A shower? The Bible?” you offered, waving your hands. “Maybe tell me why you’re here, yes?”

He was staring and you realized you were slightly bent over in your gesture, your breasts firmly pressed into the cups of the slip dress. You straightened and Jungkook’s wide dark brown eyes went back to your face.

“I… I didn’t realize you had come back, noona.”

You raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about? I told Jimin last week. He said he was hanging out with you and Taehyung. I figured he’d just tell you guys then.”

Jungkook shook his head quickly, gray-purple hair flying about. He pointed to the left, where Jimin’s house was several blocks over. “He only mentioned it just now, when he was throwing up in the bathroom from doing eight shots in a row because Taehyungie dared him.”

“…. Maybe he needs the Bible…” you muttered, shaking your head.

Then the realization hit you.

“Did you walk here from Jimin’s and straight up abandon the party?”

Jungkook tilted his head and thought about it. “Yeah.”

You looked around to find the camera and see if you were being pranked, but there was no camera because this life wasn’t purely for entertainment, right? Nah, this wasn’t The Matrix.

Mhm.

“Hah, well, what’s wrong? Are you upset I didn’t go to the party or something? I had three double-shifts this week, I wasn’t going to be any fun passed out before actually drinking–”

“Yoongi-hyung was passed out before drinking.”

“In some ways, I swear that guy and I are the same person,” you laughed, shaking your head. “Anyway, I’m sorry I didn’t go and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I really banked on Jimin not being an airhead, but once again he is, so maybe I should reconsider him as my best friend…”

“Noona, I…”

You looked up from your mental consideration of Park Jimin’s pros and cons, the first pro being he punched that ex of yours that cheated on you with some Tinder hookup and that was already enough to stop contemplating, so you blinked at Jungkook curiously, looking into wide brown eyes, long strands of ash-purple floating around his handsome face from the night breeze, brushing against his parted lips, highlighting the mole underneath them, placed perfectly in the center like a kiss from the moon itself.

“Can I take a shower and sleep it off here?”

You tilted your head. “Yeah, sure. You can borrow my dad’s clothes. You should call Jimin though. You don’t want him to panic that he lost you.”

“Y… Yeah, okay…”

-

Jeon Jungkook really thought he could say it this time.

Collected all his courage and ran, ran as fast as he could, couldn’t believe Jimin had neglected to say she was coming home over the summer for more than a day, days without her reminding Jungkook that he was a coward for not saying it when he could have, having lost his most important person in the world because he was too afraid of telling Park Jimin that he was in love with his best friend.

He remembered that smile wearing nothing but a large t-shirt, sitting on Jimin’s bedroom floor, crushing all of them at UNO and cackling as Jimin blew up for ending up in last place for the third time in a row, yelling that the game was rigged, and Jungkook remembered thinking, I should tell her tonight.

And he didn’t.

He remembered her saying to Taehyung that she just wasn’t into girly things. They were having this argument over pizza and Taehyung was waving his around saying she should at least try a dress on every once in a while, never know, might actually like it, and her rolling her eyes as she shot back that she didn’t have to do anything just because it was stereotypical for her gender. Taehyung told her to stop using big words and waved his hands, accidentally flinging his pizza slice into her lap, and Jungkook remembered thinking, I should tell her after we clean up.

And he didn’t.

He remembered seeing her prepare to leave for university once again, holding a small package from the internet and handing it to her, a small but practical belated birthday gift, both of them surprised when she opened it, not the matte black phone case he had ordered, but somehow mixed up with a pink bunny phone case that had no business being owned by someone who didn’t like girly things.

“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t order this–”

And she laughed, shaking her head. “That’s okay, I gotta go, thanks anyway, Jungkook!”

The years went by and every year Jungkook told himself, this is the one, and every year he just couldn’t say it.

He thought he could say it now, drunk and furious at Jimin for not preparing him for this moment, but on his way here Jungkook figured that perhaps this was preferred, that maybe it was better that he couldn’t sit around nervously overthinking what to say.

But, of course, the problem was…

He had already said it in a platonic way.

Shit.

He really fucked himself throughout the years.

Jungkook sighed, now wearing borrowed clothes, holding the note of her handwriting as he rubbed his hair with the towel.

I washed your shorts and they’re hang-drying now. You can sleep in the guest room. I left a glass of water and some hangover meds. If you need anything, I’ll be asleep but you can attempt to wake the dead if you want.

He walked down the hall, towel around his shoulders. Her bedroom door was open. He stood outside the entrance, sighing, seeing her sleeping form and her bedside table, her phone sitting on the charger.

His breath caught in his throat as he recognized that pink bunny phone case.

-

“Where’s Jungkook?”

“Probably at her parents’ place, confessing his love,” Kim Taehyung snickered, picking up the beer bottles left behind next to the pool.

“Hah, of course he would leave without cleaning up,” Park Jimin grumbled, pushing the recycling bin along as Taehyung tossed each bottle inside.

“You think he’s gonna tell her?”

“He didn’t even tell me,” Jimin muttered, shoving used napkins into the bag hanging off the side of the recycling bin that he was going to toss into the trash later. “I had to find out from you. I think he’s hopeless. Why does he like her anyway? She’s fun to be around, yeah, she’s good at school, yeah, knows a lot of random facts, yeah, if you get into philosophy with her like Namjoon-hyung does, you begin to question humanity and reality, yeah, but other than that…”

“You hitting on your best friend, dude?”

“I mean, she’s kinda hot, she wouldn’t say no to me.”

Taehyung snorted.

Jimin smacked him in the ass with the recycling bin.

“Anyway, he’s probably just standing in her bedroom creepily watching her sleeping.”

-

Jungkook stared down at her sleeping form.

He looked up, looking out the window into the late, late night. He was tired, and yet he couldn’t sleep, too busy wondering.

I don’t deserve her if I’m not brave enough to say it.

“Jungkook?”

-

You squinted at the large form in your bedroom.

“Why are you just staring moodily out the window?” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes. “Is something wrong? Are you hungry? I can make you a snack…”

“Noona, do you know what the worst feeling in the world is?” he asked softly, still looking out into the warm night.

You grunted and scrunched up your face. “Stepping on a Lego?”

You heard Jungkook laugh and you smiled a little despite your groggy state, hearing a little bit of his old self, the younger Jungkook hanging out with you, Jimin, and, later, Taehyung, the four of you getting up to no good. Somehow, in the past few years, he had gotten quieter and quieter, at least around you, but then again you only came home to visit for a day or two before going back to university.

“Have you ever been in love, noona?”

“Yeah, with the red bean popsicles they used to sell at the ice cream trucks, but then they stopped, those assholes, I’ve never been so heartbroken in my life,” you grumbled, remembering the day where the ice cream man told you they were sold out and your young teenage heart shattering.

“I love you, you know.”

Was this a fever dream? Why did he keep repeating himself? You looked over to his back, still looking outside onto the street, the street where you all used to run and laugh every summer, pretending you were surviving in the wild and not in the middle of a suburban neighborhood, sitting around sipping lemonade and complaining about the heat even though you all could have gone inside, lighting sparklers at night and seeing whose would last the longest even though such a thing was only based on chance anyway.

“Is that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?” he added quietly.

“The worst thing I’ve ever heard was accidentally hearing Jimin jacking off. Twice.”

Jungkook finally turned around, giving you a disgusted look. “What?”

You placed a hand on your face and sighed heavily, trying not to remember. “For some reason he thinks the bathroom isn’t echoey or something, like, at least do it in the shower, so the water masks the sound…” You chuckled, shaking your head. “Anyway, I would much rather hear you say you have love for me than listening to Jimin getting off.”

“I don’t have love for you.”

You raised your hand from your face and shifted your gaze to him, half-smile lingering on your lips from remembering Jimin’s carelessness. You made eye contact the second the words left his mouth, those brown eyes shrouded in shadows, but still so clear, a little helpless, a little sad.

“I’m in love with you,” Jungkook whispered softly.

Your eyes widened.

A soft breeze swept through the window, lifting the purple-gray strands from Jungkook’s face, revealing his lost, desolate expression.

The cicadas hummed.

A car alarm honked loudly, screeching through the night.

Both you and Jungkook jerked to face the window. You bolted out of bed and you both threw your hands onto the edge of the window, yanking it shut, wincing at the loud noise.

“Ah, jeez… what the hell…?” you groaned, slumping to the ground.

“What’s with people…?” Jungkook muttered, falling to the floor beside you, yanking the towel off his shoulders.

-

“Fuck, I pressed the wrong button!”

“Taehyung, what the hell, turn it off!”

“I was just trying to put the tangerines your parents gave me in my car!”

“I don’t care what you were doing, turn it off!”

-

“Anyway, sorry, you were saying something important and you got interrupted by some dumbass,” you sighed, nudging Jungkook with your shoulder.

“Uh… well, that was it…”

You blinked at him, tilting your head. “What, that you’re in love with me?”

“Y… Yeah?”

You blinked some more.

“Not the, want to go to the arcade and see who can get the highest score in PAC-MAN or go watch shitty action movies and rate the unrealistic plot lines or dare each other to eat whatever expired delicacy is in Taehyung’s fridge, kind of love?”

Jungkook made a repulsed face. “I regret eating that tofu. Don’t think I can ever look at uncooked tofu without gagging a little now…”

You leaned over and caught his eye.

“Do you mean the… want to date and get married and make babies, kind of love?”

His lips parted and the moonlight lit the small mole placed perfectly underneath his lower lip.

A delicate kiss from the moon itself.

Then you realized he was staring at your tits.

You yanked the neckline up a little and Jungkook started, looking back up at you with wide eyes.

“Sorry, I’m just not used to you in a dress, sorry, I’m being really rude–”

“It assures me that you’re at least interested in the making babies part,” you chuckled.

His ears turned red and he reached up to cover them, trying not to look down. “S… Sorry…”

“So…?”

He chewed on his lip, messing with his earrings with his fingertips. “Um… yeah, that kind of love. The latter kind.”

You lowered your hand. “You’re not messing with me, right? I swear, if this is one of Taehyung’s elaborate ideas to mess with me, I’m going to ki–”

Jungkook shook his head quickly, purple hair flying about. “I’m not joking around. I wanted to tell you for a long, long time, but…” His eyes darted about, panicking a little, before looking back to you helplessly. “You’re Jimin’s best friend, besides Taehyung, and what if… what if you thought I was gross or something and then I don’t think I could hang out with you guys anymore, but then you went to that prestigious university far away and I thought, I’m so stupid, I should have said something, anything, but every time I could even think about it, I didn’t know what to say, nothing seemed right…”

He let out a big sigh and tapped his head against the windowsill, closing his eyes.

“Also, I said it before and threw up in your lap right after, so that kinda fucked me up.”

“Can’t say I was really feeling the romance, yeah.”

He groaned and covered his face with his hands.

“I’d date you though. For real.”

Jungkook removed his hands and blinked at you. “What?”

You chuckled. “Why are you acting so surprised? I’m not going to date Jimin, blergh, I’ve known that guy since I was in preschool. I’m not dating Taehyung, I’m pretty sure he’s on a different brainwave than other human beings.”

You smiled at him and turned around to pick up your phone, holding it up.

“I don’t like girly things or cute things very much, but I kept your gift because it was from you and, funnily enough, I think it made me realize that I was rejecting femininity because society puts such a negative connotation on things young women like and because my friends growing up were primarily male, thus I wanted to seem cool or relatable so I rejected stereotypically feminine concepts…”

“… What?”

Now it was a confused what.

“Uh, never mind,” you laughed awkwardly, putting your phone back on your nightstand. “Anyway, Jungkook, you made me realize things about myself, and I love being around you, but I thought a handsome guy like you would want to date a pretty girl, and I’m not really that.”

Jungkook furrowed his brows. “What are you talking about? You’re the prettiest girl in the world. No one could ever be prettier than you.”

You felt your neck heat. “Yo, don’t inflate my ego when it’s not the truth,” you chuckled sheepishly, waving a hand. “You’ve been drinking anyway. Alcohol makes everyone prettier.”

“It’s the truth.”

Was he drunk or were you drunk? Why was Jeon Jungkook getting closer?

“Would you really date me?”

You stared into those chocolate eyes and smiled.

“Yes, I would.”

And you leaned forward and kissed him.

His eyes widened, staring at you and you closed your eyes, pressing your lips to his, inhaling his scent, memories of hot summers and mirthful laughter filling your head, standing beside Jungkook and kicking Jimin and Taehyung’s ass at table tennis even though Jungkook was doing most of the work, finishing a movie together after Jimin and Taehyung had passed out on the couch on top of each other and talking excitedly about it until you both fall asleep, getting lamb skewers after Jimin and Taehyung went off to eat ramen in a huff, unable to agree on the same meal as a foursome, but it was fine, no, better than fine, perfect even.

Because you were with Jungkook.

You broke the kiss and opened your eyes, smiling at him.

He blinked slowly, looking down at you.

“Noona…”

His hand raised, fingers spreading out longingly. You quickly reached up and pushed it back down.

“Jungkook, I swear, I do want to touch you in a less than holy way, but maybe not when you’re wearing my dad’s clothes, including his underwear, because that’s really fucking weird.”

Jungkook looked down at the brown t-shirt and beige shorts. “Oh. Yeah. Right.”

“You know, come to think of it, I feel like Taehyung has slowly stolen Jimin from me over the years, so maybe this was fated…” you mumbled, remembering at the moments you had shared with Jungkook were because your other two friends had abandoned you.

“I feel you, sometimes I feel like a third wheel…”

-

“I’m so sleepy.”

“I’ll tuck you in first, but I’m going to get us some water so we don’t die tomorrow morning.”

“Ugh, Jimin, bring another pillow please.”

“Hah, fine, but you’re buying breakfast tomorrow…”

--

masterpost

[gallifrey1sburning]

Muggle Technology Through the Ages:

A vague and incomplete timeline of what people were using when for writers who want to avoid anachronistic technology use in their canon timeline-compliant Harry Potter fic.

Keeping track of the evolution of technology is hard! Here's a cheat sheet for those of you who either a) like me, have trouble keeping track in your head even though you lived through it, or b) are young enough that you didn't live through a lot of it at all.

Phones:

Land lines were the norm well into the 90s. Not only that, but CORDLESS landlines didn’t even become prevalent until the mid 90s; they still cost hundreds of dollars in 1994, and the frequencies on them were weird, so you would sometimes hear your neighbors’ phone calls by accident. Ours used to turn on my little sister’s remote control Barbie car. We thought it was haunted.

Although cell phones have been around since the 80s, they were uncommon until the 90s, and then they were nothing near as ubiquitous as they are now. In 2000, when I was in high school, I had ONE friend with a cell. I got my first one in 2002, and it was only for emergencies while driving, because when I’d get lost I would have to pull over and use a pay phone otherwise.

Unlimited calling wasn’t a thing until 2002; until then, all plans were pay per minute. A lot of plans stayed that way for many years after. “Roaming” cost more. (Roaming was when you were outside of your own area code, basically.) When you moved, you got a new number.

Texting was expensive and difficult for ages. You used your normal phone numeral keys and a system called T9 tried to figure out what you meant, because every number stood for 3-4 letters. It was a giant pain in the ass.

The first full QWERTY keyboard phones came out in 1997, and most people didn’t have them until the early 2000s. I got my first one in 2007, and no one thought anything of it.

There was NO internet capability of any sort on mass market cell phones until 2000/2001. After that, it was still pretty limited until the iPhone came out.

Texting didn’t really become a big part of how we communicate until 2002/2003 for most people. And, like calls, they charged per text, so you were VERY careful and would get super mad at your friends who pushed you over your limit, because that shit was expensive. I can’t find info on when unlimited texting started being offered, but I didn’t get it until 2007/2008.

The first iPhone also came out in 2007. It was the first phone with full internet access. It was also the second full touchscreen phone ever, and the first one (the LG Prada) was only announced a month before.

Camera phones have existed since 2000ish, but weren’t the main method people used for pictures until much later, mostly because they were super shitty. I still had a separate, physical digital camera in 2008/2009.

Internet:

Consumer access to the internet was virtually nonexistent until 1995. My family got it circa 1997. It was all dial up.

Dial up was slow, sometimes you couldn’t connect, and it USED YOUR PHONE LINE. Remember, from above, the fact that landlines were the predominant phones until the early 2000s? Yeah. If you didn’t have multiple lines, you weren’t likely to be online for very long at a go. My parents limited us to 20 minutes. Also, sometimes, if a call came in while you were online, you’d get kicked off.

Broadband came out in the late 90s, and people were still commonly using dial up until the mid 2000s

WIFI wasn’t common for consumer use until the mid 2000s, either.

We may not have been texting, but we were all VERY into instant messaging. Pretty much everyone had AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) or ICQ starting in the late 90s as well. I did a lot of late night chatting when my family was asleep and I wouldn’t be tying up the phone line.

Social media & popular websites:

Here are some key dates for when various things that seem like they’ve been around forever actually started!

Google: 1998

Livejournal: 1999

MySpace (it was huge before Facebook and not mostly for musicians!): 2003

Facebook: 2004, and you had to have an email address from a college or university that had been formally included until 2006.

YouTube: 2005

Twitter: 2006

Spotify: 2006

Tumblr: 2007

Instagram: 2010

Tinder: 2012 (before that, the biggest online dating services were Match.com (1995), eHarmony (2000) and OkCupid (2004).)

Bonus: Netflix came out in the late 90s, but it was a physical DVD mail order subscription service. They didn’t introduce streaming until 2007!

Music:

CDs came out in the early 90s, but a lot of people kept using cassettes for a long time afterwards. I got my first CD player in the late 90s; portable CD players weren’t popular before that because the CDs would skip if you jostled the player. My first car (a 1991 model I bought in 2001) only had a cassette player, so I had this weird converter thing to hook it up to my CD player. Mostly I just listened to the radio, though.

Digital music wasn’t super big before the late 90s/early 2000s, and even then, we were mostly downloading (read: stealing) it and burning it to CDs. Napster was the main service we used for piracy at first; it came out in 1999. That’s around when mix CDs started overtaking mix tapes for wooing people with pointed song lyrics.

The first MP3 player came out in 1997. iPods (which were JUST for music) were introduced in 2001, and CDs only started to lose popularity around 2003. I got my first iPod in college (an iPod mini) and it was SO COOL. It came in 4 or 6 GB versions.

Some of this info is from research, some from personal (and American) experience, but hopefully it’s helpful! I didn’t bother to go into computers or TV here, but they’ve changed a hell of a lot, too, and I’m happy to do a run down some other time. Suffice to say that the TV I took to college with me in 2003 was a 12” screen tube TV with a built in DVD player, and that before leaving for college, I didn’t have my own computer—I shared it with my entire family. There were six of us. Yeah.

[mypalbuck]

SOMETHING GREAT —CHAPTER 1

The day you lost your fiancé to the blip was the worst day of your life. Well, you thought it was until he returned to you and decided he didn’t want to be with you anymore. That was the worst day of your life. Heartbroken, your friends encourage you to sign up for online dating. With nothing to lose you sign up and stumble across a familiar face, a 106 year old super soldier who is sweet as honey. Will love blossom? Or will past experiences sabotage something great?

��� in which your first tinder match isn’t what you expected (social media au)

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: crude language, failed relationship, mentions of cheating, mentions of beating an cheating ex bf’s ass

Word count: 1.8k

a/n: this first chapter has more writing than social media ik but it is needed to set the story! future chapters will either be all social media, all written or a mix of both! (anything written in italics is a flashback)

“I’m leaving you, y/n”

All it took was four words for your life to fall apart. The five years where Mike was nothing but dust was torture for you, all those sleepless nights where you cried yourself to sleep wishing and hoping he would return to you were all in vain. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” Five words that cut deeper than a knife. You wanted nothing more than to beg him to stay, but your pride knew that it would be pointless, he had made up his mind. There you sat in the middle of your shared living room, mascara dripping down your face. Oh how your friend Vanya would grimace at the sight. “I have nowhere to go...” you whispered sadly, expecting Mike’s stern gesture to soften at your vulnerability but it didn’t. 

“Not my problem! Figure it out.” Mike moved to walk out of the door, but you mustered the courage and yelled out to him. “There’s someone else, isn't there Mike...” He spun on his heel and without so much as blinking he replied “My assistant. Now hurry up and pack your shit, she’ll be here soon.” 

Nodding your head, you packed what little things you owned into your worn out suitcase. It wasn’t the first time Mike kicked you out, you knew the drill. Maybe that’s why you left the majority of your belongings in a storage container. With one final look at the apartment, you moved towards the door to leave. 

“Y/n, wait!” Mike yelled out and your heart leapt for joy. He changed his mind. He jogged up towards you and held his hand out. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before placing your free hand in his palm. Slapping away your hand, he sighed frustrated. 

“I don’t want to hold your stupid hand, I want my ring back.” You looked down to the sparkly ring on your finger, pulling it off your finger you looked at the engraving on the inside “Love, Mike.” You thought it was strange that it said that, normally couples put their initials in the ring to symbolise their eternal love. You guess that Mike wanted to reuse the ring whenever it seemed to fit him. Yuck. Looking up at your former fiancé, you let out a bitter chuckle before pegging the ring at his forehead and leaving. You heard Mike yell out insults towards you, but for the first time you didn’t care. You simply left. You felt fine… until it dawned on you that you were now homeless.

“Taxi!” you yelled from the side of the road. Unlike in the movies, the taxis didn’t stop for you. “Assholes” you muttered as you began walking for gods know how long until you passed a sushi restaurant busy with customers eating their dinner. You stood there for a moment, staring at some of the couples laughing and eating inside when a memory filled your mind.

“What do you want for dinner, Mike?” you asked lovingly, it was the first night you two had moved into your shared apartment. When you heard no response you walked into his office.

“Babe? Did you hear what I said?” you walk further into his office only to see it empty. “Where is that man?” you grab your phone and call him, just as you were about to hang up he answered. “What?” his response made you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “I just got out of the shower and you weren’t in your office like you said you’d be.” you heard a scoff and some whispering on the other end of the phone before Mike responded “I got called back into work, there was a bug in the coding I have to fix for tomorrow’s meeting.”

“Aw my fiancé is such a hard worker! How about I pick up some sushi for us and come keep you company while you work?” you suggested, placing the phone on your shoulder as you started to get ready to go. “No. I hate sushi.” the phone suddenly fell from your shoulder to the ground. Since when did he hate sushi? What on earth was up with him? You leant down to pick up the phone but realised that Mike had hung up on you.

You laugh bitterly, shaking away the memory. You should’ve known something was up after that phone call. Your first date was at a sushi restaurant, he picked the place! Since that night you never had sushi again. Not even when Mike was blipped away.

Well fuck you Mike!

You loved sushi and you would be treating yourself to some tonight. Stepping foot into the restaurant you take in the aromas of the food being cooked and sigh happily taking a seat at the sushi train. The lady working there smiles at you “Can I get you a drink?” smiling back at you, you reply back with just a water. The waitress turns to the old man sitting next to you “Yori?” she asks “A bottle of nihonshu and two shot glasses.” nodding her head, the waitress moved to get the drink. 

“Rough day? I’m Yori.” the old man greets you, turning and placing one of the shot glasses in front of you. “Y/n and you have no idea!” you sigh, taking the shot, the burn of the alcohol feeling nice. Yori grabbed a plate of sushi off the train and placed it in front of you. “Eat and then we can talk.” your heart began to swell at the kindness of this stranger, following his instructions you began to eat and drink until you were full and tipsy. 

“That bastard! Why would he do that to a nice girl like you?” Yori sighed sadly, patting your back comfortingly as you cried. “I d-don’t know…” you choked a sob before moving to take another shot. Yori reached for the shot glass and moved it away, “Is there anyone you can call to come get you?” you nod your head, mascara streaming down your cheeks. You hand Yori your phone and he makes a call to your friend Vanya and explains everything, at first she was confused but tells Yori that she knows the place and is on her way to get you. In the midst of your meltdown, you begin searching through your bag for your wallet to get money out to pay for your food and the drink but Yori puts the money back in your hand before handing his own money to the waitress covering both your meals. “It’s on me, Y/n. It’s the least I can do.” you begin to cry again, Yori pulls you into a hug. 

“Y?N!” Vanya burst into the restaurant, all eyes were on your beautiful friend as she rushed towards you and checked you for any injuries before pulling you into a hug. “I’m going to castrate that mother fu-” you begin to laugh, sobering up you stand up grabbing your suitcase and handbag before turning to Yori. “Next meal is on me, Yori.” the man smiles at you and nods in agreement. “Do you need a life home?” Vanya asks the man, wanting to do something in return for looking after you. “No need, my friend is planning to meet me here in a bit. You would like him y/n!” you smiled “Maybe another time, I should get going.” Understanding, Yori bid you both farewell.

“Vanya, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t think of anyone else to call…” you arrived at Vanya’s studio apartment. “Are you kidding me, Y/n? What kind of friend do you think I am?” Vanya moved to the fridge, pulling out ice cream and beer. Kicking off your shoes, you move to sit on the lounge. Vanya moved to sit next to you, handing you some ice cream and a beer. “Now tell me everything.”

“I’M GOING TO BREAK EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY! SLOWLY SO HE CAN FEEL THE PAIN YOU’RE FEELING RIGHT NOW.” Vanya growled, standing up and putting her boots back on. Rushing over to her, you grabbed hold of her leg so she couldn’t move.

“No, I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I’m hurt.” Vanya shook her leg trying to get you to let go “But he can’t get away with it!” you let go of Vanya’s leg. “I’m not.” you walked back to sit on the lounge. “Do you have a plan?” Vanya sat down next to you.

You nodded your head yes “To start fresh, to be happy.” Vanya smiled in agreement “Revenge is a dish best served with a smile.” grabbing your phone, Vanya started typing away. “What are you doing?” you watched in horror as you watched your friend was set up a tinder account for you. “Vanya are you serious!” you tried to grab the phone from her, but she moved it further away from you and winked “Best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.” You rolled your eyes and took your phone. “I’m not sleeping with a stranger, I just got out of a long term relationship”. Vanya took a sip of her beer “Just have a look, it doesn’t hurt to look does it?” you laughed “You’re not wrong… let me set up my profile how I want it”.

Scrolling through you didn’t swipe right on anyone you saw, all the same profiles trying to show off or hook up. That’s not what you were looking for. To be honest, you weren’t sure what you were looking for until your page was refreshed and you were stunned looking at the most handsome man.

“Wow!...” you gasped, showing your phone to Vanya who nodded in approval. “He’s so cute, in a you know a he can snap me in half way.” you giggled at your friends crude language before reading his description “Hi my name is Bucky. I honestly don’t know what to write here… I’m a pretty nice guy. I like sushi!...” Vanya cheered “Someone to take you out for sushi, I bet Yori would love him!” you laughed at your friend and nodded in agreement. “How old is he?” your eyes sweeped the screen looking for his age and widened at the sight of a triple digit number “106…” 

“Very funny, Y/n. How old is he really?” you scanned the screen again before reply “106.” Vanya grabbed the phone from your hand and saw for herself. You gasped in realisation “That’s Bucky Barnes, former Howling Commando!” Vanya laughed, “Like Captain America, Bucky?” you nodded your head. “Well, what are you waiting for? Swipe!” you nodded your head and swiped right. Your heart beated out of your chest when suddenly you jumped up making Vanya spill some of her beer. 

“WE MATCHED!” You and Vanya began to jump and squeal. Maybe this was happening for a reason, you can’t deny that something changed when Mike came back. The spark you two once had, died many years ago. Perhaps this all happened in order for you to find someone who truly loved you. For you to have something great.

“WELL! MESSAGE HIM!” Vanya yelled, rushing to grab some popcorn for you both. You nodded your head and opened a new chat.

“Here’s to something great”.

next

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