#Top 1 polycules from hell

[ryoshudoodles]

84° Day of waiting for Canto 9

[sceletaflores]

woo, my baby's got me all mixed up!

feat: logan howlett & wade wilson

contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, fem!reader, swearing, a bastard doomed polycule, more of 'why have just one bf when you can two bf's and why have just two bf's when you can have two bf's that are also each other’s bf's???', p in v, double penetration, one (1) single use of daddy, creampie(s), fingering...kind of (fem!receiving), oral sex, face sitting, face fucking, straight up nasty porn w/ zero plot, no use of y/n.

nat’s note: this is a shorter one-shot but i can't not format it like a full fic i have to or i'll get hives. this is also just pure freak nasty gross actually probably the filthiest thing i've ever written that i thought up off too much nyquil pm last night. kisses!

wade gets to whiskin’ (and logan's there too)…

"You're killing me babe," Wade groans lowly, cheek pressed to the slick skin of your inner thigh. "If my balls didn't feel like they just got the shit beat out of them in a back alley I'd be as hard as David Hasselhoff watching David Hasselhoff movies."

His hand is at work between your thighs, thick index finger slipped into your sensitive, puffy pussy.

It should gross you out that he loves doing this so much. It should make your stomach twist with all the unpleasant feelings a normal person might get.

It should, but it doesn't.

The familiar stretch is lost from taking Logan and Wade at the same time, a rare thing in your sex life because of how big they both are. But you were in a mood tonight.

Your pussy still clenches around him, trying in vain to tighten up, not used to feeling so empty.

The subtle pressure of Wade’s finger toes the line between pleasure and the sharp burn of 'almost too much' as it swirls along the sensitive walls of your pussy.

The first time he did it you were too fucked out of your mind to do anything other than ask what the hell he was doing.

"Gotta mix it up babe," was his reply, as easy as anything. "Don't want the baby batter to curdle, if you know what I mean."

Your heart stopped, flames lapping their way up your body as Wade scooped the thin line of come trickling from your abused hole to fuck it back in, back where it belonged.

It was so filthy, so depraved that it made you go liquid between your legs.

Your eyes almost immediately slid over to Logan, ready to see him shaking his head in irritation like he usually did whenever Wade ran his mouth in bed. You found nothing, no deep grimace or raised brow in sight.

There was an unmistakable heat in his gaze that matched your own, the inky black of his pupils blown so wide you could hardly see the hazel of his irises.

The casual raise of his right shoulder when he met your eye was undermined by the way his cock started to harden where it laid against his thigh, effectively tattling on him.

It told you all you needed to know about how he really felt watching Wade between your spread legs. That alone was enough to get you ready to go all over again.

It sort of became a thing after that.

"I'm not even doing anything..." you mumble breathlessly, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Don't have to baby," Logan purrs from behind you, lips pressed to the top of your head. His hand skimming down the side of your body is enough to make goosebumps pebble along your skin, "Look perfect just like this."

It's been hours now, but they're still going. You're convinced that the two of them are the world's biggest horndogs, just once is never enough.

You lost track of tonight's rounds sometime after number five, not counting mouth and hand stuff of course. And it's starting to catch up to you, you’re tired, spent.

Wade curls his finger just right, brushing against the spot inside you that has a broken whine passing through your grit teeth. Your thighs start to tremble as a smug grin spreads across his face.

"Yeah, there it is," he teases, his voice low. He keeps the tip of his finger snug against that spot, rubbing firm circles over the sensitive nerves. "That's that spot ain't it, gorgeous."

"Wade," you mewl, hands fisting the sheets as you fight to keep still. You're worried too much squirming will make their come start dripping out around Wade's wrist, and you can't have that.

There’s a sudden silence to your right, the heaviness of it pulling at your attention. You shift slightly, catching the faintest rustle of movement from Logan.

His breath is warm against the crown of your skill, his strong chest still plastered to your back—but he's too quiet, too still. You tilt your head just enough to peek at him out of the corner of your eye, and the sight alone is almost enough to make you come on the spot.

Logan is leaning against the headboard lazily, arm that isn't circled around your waist snaking down his own with the hard length of his cock in his hand.

Your mouth waters at the sight of him, red and leaking pre-come all over his knuckles each time he twists his fist over the thick head. Your hips grind down unconsciously, a needy moan falling from your parted lips. The wet sound of it has your cheeks burning, eyes fixed on the way his heavy balls bounce with each rough tug, still so full.

"Fuck, that's it," Wade murmurs, slipping a second finger inside you while he presses a shit-eating grin to the soft skin of your lower stomach. "You like it when daddy jerks off while I'm knuckle deep in you?"

"Watch it," Logan mutters warningly, tone gone low and dark as spilled ink. His hand doesn't slow, the loose grip of his fist slipping up and down his dripping cock in time with the slick squelch of your pussy.

Your hips buck up against Wade’s hand, a loud whine tearing from your chest at the dirtiness of this whole thing. The familiar heat starts to stir in your belly, your pussy drooling more mess over his wrist the longer he plays with you.

Wade barely muffles his chuckle against your hip, dropping a quick kiss there before pulling his soaked fingers from your velvety warmth. You whine at the loss, but he doesn’t pay it any mind.

You’ll both get what you want soon enough.

"Alright, we should all know the drill by now people," he announces to you and Logan with a loud clap, pulling away from between your thighs to roll flat onto his back.

“Time to hop on the saddle, John Wayne,” he finishes, giving your ass a loving tap.

Logan snorts into your hair, dropping his cock to grab your hips and gently manhandle you until you’re situated directly over Wade’s face while Logan kneels in front of you. The jut of his cock bobbing inches away from your mouth.

Wade’s greedy fingers pry your swollen lips apart to watch the way his and Logan’s come starts to seep out from you, falling to drip onto his bare chest. He blows over the wet length of you, the cool air from his mouth has your hips twitching down in search of any friction you can get.

“Not so fast,” he scolds lightly, grinding his knuckle against the wet seam of you. Your nails dig crescent moons into his scarred shoulders, threatening to break the skin.

“You’ve gotta savor this moment, hot stuff,” he says slowly, leaning up to press a kiss directly over your throbbing clit. “You got the best seat in the house, don’t take it for granted–”

"Enough," Logan grunts, heavy hands falling on your shoulders to push you down on Wade's face, fully closing the gap. "Quit runnin' your damn mouth and make our girl feel good, red."

Wade's hands tighten their hold on your thighs, his hips bucking up off the mattress like he can't help it. His surprised moan rumbles against your clit, loud and shameless.

You cry out at the first drag of his tongue over your aching pussy, hot and wet as it slides through your dripping slit. You pitch forward, too caught up in pleasure to think clearly as you take Logan’s cock into your mouth. You take him all the way down to the root in one swift move, burying your nose in the dark hair surrounding the base. 

"Fuck," Logan bites out, eyes twisting shut as he feels your warm throat enveloping him. He takes your hair in his fist gently, just holding it as you swallow around him. 

Your hands move to rest on his thick thighs, nails scratching over the hair scattered along his skin. His breath shutters in his chest, his hips rolling forward ever so slightly, chasing the tight heat of your mouth.

The mix of your tongue tracing along the sensitive vein on the underside of his cock and the low, wet sounds of Wade devouring you has him pulsing in your mouth.

Your thighs shake on either side of Wade's head, the steady grip of his hands the only thing that keeps you from collapsing into a boneless heap on the mattress.

Your hips twitch the tiniest bit, rocking forward enough to grind your clit over the slope of his nose. He groans under you, squeezing the meat of your thighs in encouragement as he swirls his tongue through the mess dripping from your hole.

“That’s a good girl,” Logan praises gruffly, his hips speeding up. “Shut him up, baby. Make him fuckin’ eat it.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, dragging your pussy along Wade’s mouth faster. You moan desperately around your mouthful, brain going hazy around the edges.

The frantic pace you set only makes their come leak from you faster, dripping down Wade’s face faster than he can keep up, and there's just so much.

A steady, thick stream of it that feels almost never ending thanks to Logan coming like he busted a pipe and absolutely flooding your insides every single time.

Wade doesn’t seem deterred in the slightest though, swirling his tongue along you with a new sense of urgency. His hands grip your hips tighter, his blunt nails digging into your skin deliciously as he slurps and sucks with unbridled enthusiasm, chasing every drop of come.

He’s sloppy with it, come sliding down his cheeks and chin in thin rivers of white.

Logan’s rough breath hitches above you, his fingers tightening in your hair as you take him deeper, hollowing your cheeks just the way he likes. His growl sends a thrill down your spine.

"C'mon, Wilson," Logan grunts, his hips speeding up. When you peer up at him, you can see the goading smile that just barely tugs the corner of his mouth up.

“Spitters are quitters, you know that."

tags are now in the comments! if you want to get tagged for any of my works just fill out this form!

[sonofcelluloid]

Sonofcelluloid’s Top 30(ish) Favorite Devil’s Minion Fics:

In no particular order, this list only includes finished works that are relatively canon compliant (I’ll be making separate lists for AUs and fics in progress.) Anything in italics is a direct quote from the fic or its description. Please remember to check tags and ratings before reading.

You’ll Always Be My Favorite Ghost by lestatslestits: Tales of Armand’s turbo autism as Daniel gets to know and love him. This one is so sweet and had me laughing my ass off.

outcast of all this night by gaypiratedivorce: Modern Devil’s Minion fic of all time. Rewired my brain. "I mean, I don't know how you guys did it in Renaissance Italy, but most people this century get to at least second base before wearing each other's blood around our necks." There’s a part 2: my aid against the boredom of the eternal where they finally hook up. And honestly every fic from this author is a banger.

I’d Break the Back of Love for You by kurow: 70s Armandaniel. A rescue and a sick fic wrapped in one, and I’m a sucker for both.

Like That by GrayGiantess: Fluffy 70s Armandaniel. A tooth achingly sweet first kiss fic, featuring Twinkie’s. Again, every fic from this author is a banger.

The Beginning is the End is the Beginning by trinityofone: Daniel sees a wild vision during his turning. “I deserve this,” Armand said. His hold on Daniel’s throat was almost a caress. “After what I’ve been through, I deserve something of my own, don’t I?”

make a home from a rented house by sleepdeprivedsurgeon: Daniel realizes Armand has never really had a room of his own before. Armand slowly builds his own safe place. Super fluffy autistic Armand stuff. Domestic vampire polycule bonus.

the spiral is unspooling by reedroad: Armand helps Daniel recover their Devil’s Minion years via old video tapes they filmed of their meetings. Absolutely heart wrenching and wonderful and charming and had some of the most jaw dropping plot twists I’ve ever experienced in a DM fic. The last chapter absolutely floored me and rewired my brain forever. May be my #1 fav.

forever’s gonna start tonight by trinityofone: Hate fucking with a happy ending:) Sort of a soulmate fic as well. “I fucking hate you. And you hate me. So something is making us do this.” “I don’t hate you,” Armand pants. “You mean nothing to me. Don't stop.”

care and keeping by katplanet: A surprisingly tender guide for how to step on your boyfriend. Bonus Danlou. Smutty and fluffy and freakayyy. GREAT dialogue. Very funny as well.

hell is: by cannibalenthusiast: Another turning fic. Post Dubai blowout, Armand and Daniel bond over martinis, breakups, and a Survivor marathon. They bang about it. Great ending.

5 Times Daniel Molloy Imagined Killing Marius de Romanus (+1 Time He Actually Did It) by platoapproved: This one is genuinely a masterpiece. Probably my #2 fav. Lots of protective Daniel, some really cool and original vampire-lore stuff, Louis and Lestat being beautifully supportive along with other new side characters. Armand finally gets to process his abuse among allies. A really touching Lestat subplot as well. HEAVY trigger warnings for all Marius related assaults, but obviously we get to watch him die horribly to make up for it:) Absolute banger of an ending, totally sticks the landing.

lesson three: parasitic infections by kanxie: 70s Armandaniel. Armand picks out Alice as a third and does NOT like the way the night progresses. What unfolds is some of the CRAZIEST psychosexual (emphasis on psycho) gremlin Armand shit I’ve ever seen in a fic. So perfectly Armand. Short and sweet, sad ending.

open up your skull, i’ll be there by Anonymous: First time fic. Armand dipped after Daniel’s turning and when he shows up again Daniel ain’t letting him leave. “Your blood is my blood,” Daniel says, and Armand does not flinch. “It’s your blood getting me hard. Your blood that’s pumping through me.” Armand licks his lips, and still doesn’t move. “Please. Armand, Armand, please.” “Beg for it.” “I am begging for it, this is what begging looks like —”

Disintegration by lilacaisle: Daniel goes crazy when Armand locks him in the apartment and tries to burn himself with a cigarette so it will feel like being bitten🙈 Armand does BDSM about it. This one’s actually book Armandaniel but I didn’t notice it until like the third read because it fits show Armandaniel so perfectly.

baby, cry baby by Babeblox: Daniel seeks out Lestat for an interview after Louis’ attack, but he’s being haunted by someone else. Canon divergence. This one legit made me cry. Dark but very sweet. Wild ending.

get in my mind (do you see my heart?) by Marenke: 70s Armandaniel, Armand character study. Armand is pretty sure he and Daniel have never had a problem a little brainwashing couldn’t fix. SICK AND TWISTEDDDDD (affectionate).

The Importance of Being Armand by Siria: Daniel and Armand talk about the power of naming. "If you can imagine a different set of possibilities for me as a vampire, ever think of what you could come up with for yourself, if you put your mind to it?"

Bumpin' That (Bumpin' That Bumpin' That Bumpin' That) by TheAngelsAreWatching: Daniel and Lestat are fuck buddies. They are on a tour bus a la Word Tour. They do coke. They try to bang. And then Armand stops time and walks in. Armandaniel fuck crazy style. Pure filth (affectionate).

Run, Arun! by TheNightColors: Autistic Armand, character study. Daniel learns it was considered a “crime” to turn Armand due to his “mental retardation”. Armand explains what it was like to be an autistic child in the sixteenth century, and an autistic adult for 500 years after. Heavy stuff. Trigger warning for all things relating to Amadeo’s past and for the internalized ableism instilled in Armand by his upbringing.

a haunting just for company by valkyrisms: Post Dubai blowout but pre Daniel’s turning, Armand crashes on Daniel’s couch. A modern Devil’s Minion fic for the ages. These weirdos love each other so bad. Some really memorable tender scenes. This one’s a fan favorite. “You’re fond of me.” “You’re a nuisance.”

The Company of Monsters by ruiqi: A full deconstruction of Marius’ abuse from Armand’s pov as he struggles to keep old patterns from repeating with Daniel. Overall I think this is the most realistic depiction of what it would be like for Armand to come to terms with his abuse in the modern day, especially regarding Daniel’s involvement. He’s totally out of his depth but wants so badly to help. This one made me SOB. It’s honestly a really tough read, but beautifully done. “You said, last night, that he wanted an angel,” says Daniel, “but no one's an angel, Armand. That wasn't fair to you. Besides, who would want an angel when they could have you?” “No,” Armand says. “No, you can’t say that.” “You can’t fucking stop me,” says Daniel. And it isn’t tagged, but this one is incredible autistic Armand representation. Probably my #3 fav.

Smart Boy by heliza24: Just a really good 70s Devil’s Minion era explanation of the events leading up to Armand’s decision to take Daniel’s memories away. Quite a bit of infidelity stuff in this one. Also delves a lot into Daniel’s family history, and an emotional affair is established between them long before they actually hook up. Very emotional. Heartbreaking last chapter.

We Dared Eternity and Won by faerywhimsy: A 70s Devil’s Minion era telling of the four good years they had before everything imploded. Louis has somewhat of a distant obsession with Daniel in this and so is very involved in Armand’s decisions regarding him. Favorite scene is when Armand saves Daniel from a hotel fire and the near loss devastates him because it makes him realize he’s in love with Daniel.

reprise. by SheOfBadIdeas: In Dubai, Daniel demands Armand show him the memories he stole. Armand relays the tale of their romance, but Daniel is begrudged to give Armand the satisfaction of giving in to it. That doesn’t last long;)

Waiting by bandedbulbussnarfblat: 70s fic. Daniel is living with Alice and hasn’t seen Armand in two months. He gets a call from Armand, who just got a proposal from Marius asking him to be his companion again. “I told him I couldn't go back. That I was waiting for you.” Daniel sucks in a sharp breath. Fuck. Armand's voice sounds almost wet, strained and raspy. He finally sounds as vulnerable as Daniel always wanted to see him be. “Should I keep waiting for you, Daniel?” (It’s just banger after banger with this author too.)

The Monster of my Memories by GrayGiantess: In Dubai, Daniel has just remembered his relationship with Armand and he’s PISSED. Armand gladly reminds him he’s waited 40 years for Daniel, he doesn’t mind waiting a little while more, and he’s not so sure Daniel has the same conviction🙈 Phenomenal subby old man Daniel material.

Delicate Machinery by Lilac Tinsel: An in depth look at the 70s love affair that neither man ever saw coming, in all its complicated glory. Really dives into the psychological consequences of Armand’s constant rejections. Amazing take on what the actual memory alteration would look like. The part that broke me: “I’m sorry for– for all of it. I didn’t realize how much I took. I just… wanted to stop thinking for a moment.” Armand blinks slowly and his eyebrows knit together. His voice is small but steady. “Did you take the drugs so you wouldn’t feel me anymore?”

You Taste Like Suburbia by CannibalGender: This is the only unfinished work I’m putting on this list because it’s so fucking good as is and gave me chills when I read it. It’s the 80s, Armand, famously normal about his partners' families, haunts the Molloys. I absolutely love Alice in this. Paints such an intriguing picture of what these years might have looked like from an “outside” pov.

Two parter I’ll chew you up and I’ll spit you out and Oh dear diary, I met a boy by weathermood: Loumandaniel in Dubai, set just after the season 1 finale. Asks, what if Daniel doesn’t want to remember? An exploration of identity while Louis and Armand try to persuade Daniel to allow his memories of their past relationship to be restored. Explores dreams and memories beautifully and with delightful humor. Classic unhinged Armand.

138 lbs, for the metrically challenged by hummingbeeoOo: Fluffy and funny. After Daniel’s turning and subsequent hunting down of his maker, they’re shacked up and happier than ever, but a little something from the interview has kept nagging at Daniel. Or: there is exactly zero way a beanpole like Armand weighed a measly 62.5 kilograms a day in his adult life. The end of this fic had me kicking my feet and giggling. This whole series is great tbh.

This list is my pride and joy. Thank you to the anon who asked for recs<3 Feel free to share your own favorites in the reblogs:)

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Okay fine Mechat has some actually interesting concepts & stories.......

1. Succubus LI trying desperately to suck out MC's life via sex Vs. Demisexual MC who just wants to eat burgers, go on walks & sleep well at night

2. DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE!!!??

3. Her:

4. Dead guy trying to scam other dead people out of their money and trying his best to seem scary and morbid Vs. MC who lives next to a cemetery, is morbidly fascinated by death, at most thinks he's funny

5. Genius indie game developer escaping an abusive family + MC willing to throw hands with his mother at any given moment

6. Nonbinary mermaid. That's it. (merperson?)

7. Polycule with 4 eldritch horrors. They're personifications like the Sins but they've got 0 control and you get to see what that actually means

8. Sea demon trying desperately to eat MC Vs. MC enjoying making his life living hell and making him flustered by flirting with him - also they have some of the funniest chats

10. Nonbinary dragon with a gem/jewellery making hyperfixation

11. Modern day beauty and the beast retelling except it's VERY CLEAR that if he ever permanently turned into a human MC would ditch him so fast.

LI: I'm a terrible hideous monster, a freak, no one will ever want me, I literally look like if someone stretched a dog's skin over a human's body, you should leave me and never come back

MC: Take off your shirt

12. Overworked barista MC who is just done and dead inside and just begging the man with a gun who just crashed through the cafe's window to shoot them in the face

13. """The stray cat I brought home turned into a hot naked guy who basically called me useless, kicked me out of my own bed and home, then texted me to cry about how I don't care for him because I went to work without leaving any cat toys out for him to play with but I'm going to coo at him and give him anything his little bastard heart desires no matter how much it inconveniences me and no matter how much he flip flops between hating my entire existence and Immediately crying when I leave him alone for longer than five minutes because I'm still a cat owner and this is the type of insanity that consumes every single cat owner ever"""

Also includes:

• They/them gender neutral MC

• Customizable sprites for MC

• Voice messages with amazing voice acting

• You can choose if you want to see 18+ content or not, and the sex scenes can range from being inferred to very explicit

• Dom/sub/top/bottom/switch/vers MCs

• Multiple poly LIs

• Some stories allow you to switch LIs - play the same story with a different character so you can have your preference

• Treasure trove for the monster fuckers ft LIs like;

a.) Mythical beings like Medusa

b.) Extraterrestrials like aliens similar to the ones from Avatar

c.) Straight up furry content - like anthropomorphic animals

d.) Hybrids - humans with animal ears & tails

e.) Eldritch beings like Death

f.) Horror-esque characters like killer (?) clowns & ghouls

g.) Supernatural beings like demons and witches

h.) Not monsters but also: knights & pirates

• Also just normal average sweet LIs too

• My favourite: updated mod for unlimited gems

Part 2 of interesting routes

[petvampire]

Ship game!

Jerejean, Kevaaron, aaaaaand Wymack/Bee/Abby polycule

Hell yeah!

The answer for all three of these is a big fat smash of the SHIP IT button, but I’ll answer the questions for each ship individually!

1. What made you ship it?

- Jerejean: Literally the entire premise of The Sunshine Court had me right there for it. And The Golden Raven just took those feelings and amped them up to about 85. It’s the fact that they’re complementary and give each other what they need, and they’re both healing and improving and it’s beautiful.

- Kevaaron: Initially, because why not? It seemed like a sort of ‘pair the spares’ ship initially, but then I started seeing people’s headcanons and fics and was like, ‘huh, I get it!’ Also, Kevin desperately needs a medical professional around him at all times for when Neil or Jean inevitably give him a heart attack, soooo…

- Wymack/Bee/Abby: THE WHOLESOME PARENT POLYCULE! Honestly they are just so good at caring for the Foxes, and it’s amazing to see. I was behind this ship from the second I saw all three of them interacting together.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

- Jerejean: In no particular order, height difference, participation in each other’s healing, partner dynamic, Jeremy learning French for Jean, Jean becoming a dog dad for Jeremy, the sheer sass level of some of the exchanges between them… the list could go on forever.

- Kevaaron: The hilarity value, I’ll be honest. Andrew losing his actual shit over these two would amuse me more than anything else. Also I just feel like they’d be super snarky about their affection, which I always love.

- Wymack/Bee/Abby: Their easy domesticity is everything to me. They have habits and routines and it’s clear they’re seriously comfortable with each other and have been for a long time. It’s so wholesome.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Uh… I’m not sure if any of these things are unpopular, but sure!

- Jerejean: I take the ‘service top Jeremy’ thing with a HUGE grain of salt. I am just not a fan of pinning characters with static sexual dynamics, and also I just don’t think this dynamic is exactly what a lot of people think it is.

- Kevaaron: I don’t actually think either of these two is an ideal match for the other, and there is a high likelihood they could end up killing each other just as easily as they could banging.

- Wymack/Bee/Abby: I… nope. I cannot think of a single thing that is not ‘I love this and I’m here for it.’ 🤣 Sorry!

[isa-ghost]

I need the headcanons, Isa. I need them like I need air. (I also have had very little time to watch QSMP overall, so all of my q!Phil info comes from you) -River

OH FUCK I WASN'T EXPECTING TO GET MULTIPLE ASKS ABOUT THEM. /POS

Here's Headcanon Set 1

NOW MORE

He's an expert at playing stupid. I don't have any actual situations from canon off the top of my head to apply this to, but his wits are sharp enough for him to pull it off when shit isn't explosively hitting the fan

He hates not being able to fly, flying is/was the main way he would de-stress. Nothing makes him feel lighter than the breeze in his feathers and a breathtaking view

This man's commitment to The Bit is so underestimated. If The Bit was a person, it'd be part of his polycule. People just overlook his ability to commit to a bit because he has to personally find the bit worth committing to

Obligatory Shiny Good Crow Brain mention. Why do you think his backpacks need sorting like once every few weeks (though he neglects them for longer than that)? And shiny is not always literal. Sometimes it means flowers or pretty types of wood or a neat mob.

Every once in a while someone can get him to laugh in a way that Almost sounds like a squawk. He doesn't know how it happens, it's like an involuntary snort laugh, but with cawing.

Unfortunately for him, playfully raising his blood pressure (stares at the kids, Tubbo, the polycule, some others) is kinda funny. It's the way he gets louder the more exasperated he gets.

He has 100% slept so hard that he snored loud enough to earn a kick in the side from Chayanne

Speaking of sleep, this idiot will pass out in that wooden chair and then wake up in the morning and bitch about his neck aching as if he isn't the reason it's aching. Lullah especially has roasted him for this

His dedication to Chayanne and Lullah can go unmentioned bc it's just so obvious but I need everyone to understand it's not just how he'd burn the island to ashes for them. It's also how he'd stop mid-tea party with Lullah, Pomme & Co, dressed the whole nine yards in a tutu, tiara & obnoxious amounts of pretend jewelry to beat the ever-loving SHIT out of a threat

At first Irish Goodbyes were unintentional (which is what made them so funny) but now it's become one of the biggest bits he's committed to. This man loves embodying that gif of the dude going ✌🏻 and vanishing.

Lullah totally told him about the Duolingo "It's Spanish or Vanish" meme. It won't leave his head now

Anytime he does the reverb voice or something he is pulling a megaphone out of his backpack and yelling into it

Because I forgot it in the first hc set and it's too funny for me not to include, I must once again tap the sign that says "Phil and Fit fuck nasty behind Fit's gym." Why do you think the shit Fit says like "big boy" gets such a reaction out of Phil? He's heard it elsewhere

He thinks he has too much self-respect to do it but if he didn't, he'd 100% be the dad to dab or whip-nae nae just to make Chayanne and Lullah faceplant on the ground out of embarrassment

Speaking of faceplanting, Lullah is so good at timing when she does it, it absolutely kills Phil every time. It's like one of the Top 5 ways to get him to crack up

Calling back to the Bit Commitment hc: "The 4th Wall" is a bit he made up and won't stop referencing. It's not that he's fail rping in meta, he's getting conspiracy-style existential as a joke and that's why Lullah hates it so much

Stealing this one from my hcs about my angel OC inspired by Phil: If you put him in water, his wings will involuntarily flap like a bird in a bath. It isn't nonstop, it's like a stim he can't help doing every so often.

He loves Rose so much. She instantly makes him feel safe. He regularly has to resist the urge to passionately gush about her to people because he knows they'd be like What The Fuck Are You On About. Rose is blorbo from his brain (little does he know, she isn't entirely)

He likes to pretend he isn't, but he's sentimental as hell. Why do you think he hasn't changed the ugly dirt shack? Why do you think he has so many backpacks of stuff? He's got that crow hoarder brain but he also just attaches to things to easily. Nostalgia and love for history has him in a death grip. Little does he know, it's a trait he's kept from his past

Speaking of his past, until I get canon story explaining otherwise, in my mind he IS hardcore!Phil but the Federation wiped his memory after somehow managing to invite him to the island. The Ender King & Rose's arrivals into qsmp canon are two very different ways of attempting to trigger his memories. What he thinks are dreams are actually those forgotten memories of what he was doing before coming to the island

Okay that's long enough, look out for a third set because I got another ask waiting for more >:)

EDIT: Here's Set 3 :D

[itsdappleagain]

tagged by @emily-prentits THANK YOUU THIS LOOKS SO FUN

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

18!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

141,974 words...which is a little embarassing considering jo, who tagged me, has 59 works and only about 30,000 more words. evidently i like my longfics.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

carmen sandiego 2019! 17 of those and one (1) original work that i dont mention in this post at all

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the cardinal and the kitten - 325 kudos

say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime (let me lead you from your solitude) - 164 kudos (we call her the phantom au for short)

simple are the ways of love (simple as the touch of another's hands) - 156 kudos

Upon the Sword - 154 kudos

Everything is a Lie - 127 kudos

5. do you respond to comments?

Most of them yes!! I LOVE getting comments I screenshot and save every one I get.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hm- I guess it depends. Hellscape ends with Carmen's internal monologue just before she gets mind-wiped by VILE, but its technically no angstier than canon. they gave you life (and in return you gave them hell) is pretty angsty the whole way through and examines Carmen's trauma.

Those are both little one-shots, though- I usually end my reigns of terror within chapter fics pretty happily if I can manage it. The Phantom AU (linked above) ends in a dark place but leagues brighter than it seemed to be heading towards. It isn't a terribly neat and happy ending, and it tells a story of trauma and attempted suicide and the road to recovery from these. Let's go with that one.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

In Love Is A Locked Cell Door Chase Devineaux and Crackle happily start making out in a jail cell and live happily ever after!

Ok, being serious-

For a one-shot, simple (linked above) starts happy and ends happier.

For a chapter fic, Choice ends with Carmen, Julia, and Gray all living in a very happy polycule pardoned from the law with full emotional control of their lives which is fun :]

8. do you get hate on fics?

@emily-prentits used to leave passive aggressive comments on my wattpad and we would fight in the comments sections 💀now we're partners so make of that what you will. but anyway, no serious ones, no!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

No, not really! I have a few "fade-to-blacks" or skip-overs without any detail. The one time I tried writing smut it was really forced and hard for me to write...doesn't help that I've never felt sexual attraction in my life so I don't know about that. Curse you asexuality for taking papertiger handcuff sex away from the world.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

No, I'm not a fan of crossovers

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had one or two...heavily referenced. Not in bad faith, but it was funny to see a lot of my plot and prose mannerisms reworded in a younger author's fic. I think they credited me as inspiration or gifted it to me both times so its not a big deal.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

If FRANTIC FANFIC! counts, which it shouldn't lol. Also the polycule is working on something :3

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have an au where paper star and black sheep escape VILE together and go through a sort of friends to lovers to enemies deal as carmen (renamed cardinal here due to never escaping in the boat the way she does in canon), though influenced by paper star at the start, eventually finds her inevitable path of good while paper star slips into a chaos that cardinal just can't stomach

ill paste a snippet here that i wrote but its a little bit long and complex and i dont have a ton of motivation for it

16. what are your writing strengths?

ABILITY TO MAKE READERS SUFFER

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

cohesive plot...lord help me i cannot plan a fic to the end before i post chapter 1 and it bites me in the ass all the time

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if there's a small amount of it, i usually write it as-is in the other language and use external sources or context clues to explain it. if a lot of dialogue is in another language, I'll put it in brackets and write it in english!

19. first fandom you wrote for?

carmen sandiego. still going lmfao

20. favorite fic you've written?

that's really hard- i'm going to do top three in no particular order SORRY

Love, Carmen - this was the first or one of the first fics I ever wrote. it put me on the map a little bit (wattpad..) in terms of writing and boosted upon the sword and choice when they came along. it was really fun to just be young and writing after finishing all two released seasons of the show. i still like it a lot. its just cute and simple.

the phantom au - what a labor of love. i've had other fics (evil carlotta series, cough cough) that have been long and complex but those strayed into meandering and pointless and i lost a lot of motivation. phantom combined my love of theater with my favorite show and my hunger for angst angst angst. it was super fun to write and, at the risk of sounding vain, i pulled off a very hard to pull off trope at the end and i think i did it well. i think if you read any one of mine, this highlights a lot of my strengths.

the cardinal and the kitten - this is a popular one of mine that kind of serves as an updated love, carmen. i really enjoy how i wrote carmen and julia playing off of each other and my dialogue is very strong in this one.

okay, sorry about how long that was i treated it like a professional interview. i had a lot of fun writing this instead of working on a very important school project

[simmingwormly]

Wormville: Rotation 11: Devir-Jilleni

I expected this to be a wholesome round. I couldn't have been more wrong.

Given how much happened in this round, this post will purposefully only follow the adults. The kids get their own post.

One thing! I finally got an idea how to conceptualize the "slacker" career. It's Romance Sim-focused, and its highest level is being paid for your presence at parties, another high level has the Sim edit "home videos"... so even though not all levels fit, and it doesn't suit every Sim in the career, and it definitely wasn't intended to be read that way... it's sex work to me.

Some characters share colors: Beatrice and Victor are both blue and Bennett and Serenity both green, but they are never on screen together.

CW: Misogyny (Iulius), depiction of sex work (not a major focus, mostly positive depiction through consenting adults who work independently and aren't coerced into anything), domestic violence (fantasified, just Sims being brawl-happy as always, but just in case), disease, death, holy shit, this post might be a little too heavy for my blog. No, really. I'm serious. The ratio of silly to heavy is about 1 : 19.

< PREVIOUS ROTATION

Children Update

NEXT ROTATION >

Catch up on the storyline (of this family): The Devir-Jilleni household (a polycule of 4 + their 4 children) really wants to open a clothing store/dance studio, but they can't afford it yet. Hannah Devir enlisted in the military to earn the money faster, but it might backfire at her very quickly. Even more importantly, though, it seems like not every single member of the foursome was as mentally prepared for open love life as they thought they were...

"Let me make one thing clear, pretty face. You're no officer."

"My uniform begs to differ. And so does the general, since I get paid like everyone else."

"The opinion of some off town general is worthless, and I don't care what you wear. No matter how many cocks you suck to climb up ranks, you will never be a real soldier. And I will end your little game as soon as the general is... finally me."

"'Scuse me? Are you saying I'm trying to sleep my way to the top? That would really offend me, if it wasn't coming from Mr Nepotism himself. How's your mommy?"

"Dead. I am the head of my clan now! And when I'm the general-"

"Provided I don't become the general first..."

"Try that and I'll make you disappear in the dungeon. I'll find a reason to justify it to the priest. And I'll guarantee you, after a year or two down there... your face won't be this pretty anymore..."

"Hey! Iulius! Hello!"

"Felicia! Greetings! You look wonderful today!"

"Thank you! You too! Sorry you had to wait."

"It's okay. At least I got to talk to your wife. Hannah and I don't meet very often at work, so it's beneficial to meet off the clock sometimes and exchange intel."

"Honestly, I'm just glad you two don't fight anymore."

"No, he didn't! He pretty much still bullies me! And Bea, too!"

"Iulius is... not the best guy around, I know. I'm so sorry. I'll try to talk to him once again, explain-"

"I don't know what you want to explain to him. That it's bad to hurt people? He knows, he just doesn't care, because he's a piece of shit! And I hate, hate that you're still friends with him!"

"I'm trying to be friends with everybody."

"When Bea invited Victor, you yelled at him and kicked him out."

"With everybody, except murderers."

"That was before he did...that."

"I could see it in him from the beginning. I'm an ex-acolyte, I often understand people's natures even before they show them off."

"So what do you see in mine, if you think that your bestie should get no social consequences for making my life living hell?"

"I don't think that. I always speak positively of you around Iulius, and make him know that I condemn his behavior towards you."

"And then you invite him over, so he can pick on me and beat me up in my own fucking house. I'm tired, Feli. I'm really tired of this."

In the meantime, Beatrice discovers unsettling news. She's pregnant again, but this time, it makes her feel conflicting emotions. She knows that financially and space-wise, this child is going to be a problem. Plus, she didn't plan it. It was a failing of her contraceptive methods, and it could've happened with anybody she slept with in the recent times. How will her partners react if the child is someone else's? But on the other hand, Beatrice is a Family Sim, and she's anxious and worried, but not unhappy about her state.

"So, I guess we can forget about the shop and the studio. It was nice while it lasted, I guess."

"Hannah! You can't just give up like that!"

"Like what? We just keep failing. And now we'll have to take care of five children."

"Gina and Sophia are almost teenagers, they can help out. And I don't work that often, I can take most of it on myself. You two can't give up on your dreams. The only thing we need to solve is... money."

"Unfortunately, that is a damn hard thing to solve. Vic promised he'll help us once he can, but that's going to be... probably in years."

"And Felicia keeps saying she'll have the money any day now."

"Nah. Fuck this. I'm gonna get the money."

"How?"

"Find... sponsors. If you can do it, Bea, then I can, too. I've heard Quincy Fiera does it on the side, too."

"I don't do the same thing as Quincy. For me, it's a job. I meet clients and get paid. Quincy isn't a sex worker. She meets dates and sometimes gets gifts from them that she sells. It's different."

"Hm. Gifts... I can charm people into giving me gifts, too."

"Hannah. No. You don't have to do this."

"Chill! I know! But it sounds fun, and it also sounds hella effective. Didn't Quincy get a hot-tub?"

It's unsurprising, then, that Hannah makes her way to the Sweet Discretion, the activity central for local Romance Sims. She scopes the room and gets a bad idea.

"No."

"I haven't said anything!"

"I saw the walk."

"..."

"And the answer is no. I'm married."

"Okay, suit yourself."

A garden club townie! That's more like it!

Or...not? This really isn't Hannah's day.

In the end, she managed to seduce him. Later that day, he brough her an arcade machine, which was definitely good enough pay for the effort!

Unfortunately, that is about all the good things in Hannah's situation. Her relationship with Felicia is only 14 STR/11 LTR (no fury, and Felicia's relationship to Hannah stayed at 90+ on both scales, mostly lowered only by the serious scientist not appreciating her wife's dirty jokes that Hannah keeps making).

Hannah feels... resentment. Towards Felicia, for seemingly not caring about her enough to ditch Iulius, or to at least protect her from him. Towards herself... for feeling that way. She loves Bea and Ben, yes, but Felicia is supposed to be a little special. She's the one Hannah owes her life, the woman who sacrified her future so that Hannah could live. She's not supposed to resent her. It's not right. It's not fair.

In general, she's not feeling her best. Something is off. The stress is getting to her.

Meanwhile, Beatrice goes to visit the Temple, and- oh no. Someone has just finished getting themselves in trouble.

“I do not know what to tell you. It was incredibly irresponsible of you.”

“I came home beaten up and this is what you say to me? After lecturing me on compassion?”

“I saw the wide smile. You're not in distress. You're proud of yourself.”

“Wouldn’t you be? I pulverized her.”

“Yes, but on temple grounds. That's against the Entity's laws.”

“If the Entity was really that mad at me, it would've just smitten me. And I'm not smitten. Knowing Nico, the punishment is gonna be something like ‘pray five times in row’ or ‘pet all cats in town'. I'm just really bummed that you're mad.”

“Please, stop wiggling!”

“But it burns!”

“It is a disinfectant. It burns, because it's working. And I'm not mad at you, ‘Ranni, I'm worried. I do not want you to get consequences for this, and I know you will. I'm scared about what they're going to be.”

“Look on the bright side, though. Serenity's gonna get punished, too.”

“That is a really poor consolation when you put yourself in danger. Didn't you know that fighting in the Temple was forbidden?”

“I did. And I wasn't really planning it. But if you heard what she said, you would've gone for her throat, too.”

“What did she say?”

“That the twins aren't yours. Bullshit! The biggest bull ever shat!”

“Oh, ‘Ranni… it's okay, I do not suspect you of anything. I have no doubt that they are mine.”

“She said that they looked nothing like you. Which is, like, is she blind or what? And that she knows that we were fighting when they must've been conceived. Then she called me ‘an adulterous vixen.’ Me! Adulterous!”

“That is cruel and ridiculous. But also, how did she know about our crisis?”

“I was thinking the same. Plus, if I'm counting right, and I am fucking counting right, it's my fucking body for fuck's sake, I got pregnant like a day or two before the whole… Balthazar thing started. So she's not just a nosy stalker, she's dumb as well.”

Felicia finally manages to finish the contraption commissioned by Regina Hanson. It's lab equipment which will allow the doctor to finally synthesise medicine and distribute it in her pharmacy!

On the roof of the Sweet Discretion, Beatrice runs into Quincy. (who got hit by the newest wave of cc deletion, however this Maxis hair actually suits her perfectly and I love it on her even more than the previous 2 cc hairs she used to wear)

What is notable about this meeting and the two of them making up again, is that Bea takes her on a date and Quincy Not-Marriage-Material Fiera IMMEDIATELY rolls the want to marry her. Should Bennett be afraid for his life?

Okay, back to reporting on Hannah's misery.

During Gina's birthday party (more on that in the child post), Hannah makes genuine effort to improve things between her and Felicia.

"I miss you..." Hannah whispers.

"We see each other every day..."

"Not really, not anymore... but I can make it right."

One lesser known fact about Hannah Devir is that she, in fact, has really high logic skill. Here she is, using it to make more money for her and Beatrice's store to finally open.

Hires you to stink at you.

Then, Beatrice receives a call from a prospective client, who wants her to accompany him and entertain him for an evening in Downtown. (In game: A random downtownie, whom nobody in the household knows, called and asked Bea for an outing.) She asks him whether she could take her "coterie," and he says the more the merrier. (as long as her friends are good-looking enough, of course, which Beatrice assured him that they were drop-dead gorgeous) So the whole polycule gets to go on a night out!

(As a detail, I interpret the client to be straight, so he welcomed Hannah and Felicia coming along, and Bennett was allowed to be there since him and Bea often pretend that he's employed by Bea's nonexistent escort agency as the security.)

The "client" starts autonomously flirting with Beatrice, and keeps at it for the entire lenght of the outing. (combined with playing on the arcade machines) The outing is a great success, and he pays, tipping included.

Surprisingly, he doesn't even mind when...

"Tell me, Beatrice, why did you bring me here?"

"To spend a fun night at the club-"

"No, you're here on a fucking client appointment, and you brought us along - why? To help you? To watch you? To feel like you're out with friends instead?!"

"If you didn't want to go, you just should've stayed home..."

"I can stay home everytime. I don't need to be involved. Not in anything you and Hannah do. Bennett, too! I feel like I'm only 'in relationship' with the three of you so someone pays your groceries and watches over the kids when you're out competing who can fuck more strangers in one night-"

"Feli, please, calm down. We're in public-"

"When I agreed with Hannah that we'll be in an 'open relationship,' I thought it's going to be just Ben and you, or maybe Mina. Quincy, if I'm generous. And when I agreed to merge our families, I thought that's what we were going to be - a family. Four people who love each other and raise kids."

"But we are that!"

"No. You three run a brothel, no matter if you get paid or just do it for fun, and I'm the one you forced to be the accountant."

"Felicia, that's not true..."

"Well, if you say so... Now, excuse me. I'm going to make someting extra by DJing. Someone has to pay for your precious dream store, after all."

Bennett hid in a ball and stayed there for 6 hours. He had a great time.

Hannah has an altercation with Miss Crumplebottom for her swimwear crimes. (actually, Miss C did not stop lecturing Hannah even after she covered up. I guess that Hannah's existence is sort of an amalgamation of everything she stands against.)

"My, my, dearie... Why such a tormented look?"

"Get away from me, crone."

"Ohoho, buttercup, you cannot offend me this easily. Perhaps we could turn that frown upside down? My spells and charms could help you find the One..."

"Look inside. See the DJ?"

"The tall dark-haired lass in blue?"

"Yeah, that's her. That's MY wife! I don't need to find 'the One'. I have everyone I need!"

"So why aren't you inside with her?"

"Because I'm a dumb idiot that can't get over her own feelings. Leave me alone, damnit!"

"I've heard what you said to Bea."

"Good."

"I had no idea you've been feeling that way."

"Maybe you would've if... Fuck, Hannah, you were right. We don't see each other anymore."

"But we can make it... right again..."

"Can we? Can you promise me that you will completely change and stop sleeping around?"

"Yes- yes."

"But you can't keep that promise. And neither can Beatrice."

"I- What about Iulius? That is okay?"

"No. It's not. I hurt you. I kept hurting you. But I don't think... I can care anymore. You abandoned me."

"I didn-"

"You're drunk."

"You... too?"

"Yeah. And it's setting me free, finally."

"..."

"I'm going back to the booth. While... you busy yourself spreading legs for strangers, I can make us some... more money."

"Feli, wait!"

"What now?"

"Do you..." Hannah can barely talk through sobbing. "Do you regret saving me?"

Felicia turns back around. Her worst, most noxious, most hurtful thought claws its way to the surface. It's not true, not fully, it's not the whole truth. But she whispers it anyway.

"Maybe... I should've kept that for Elphius."

Felicia almost manages to walk back to the DJ booth, when Hannah, gone into a full meltdown, catches her and tries to hold her down, embrace her, anything. Felicia struggles against her, and somehow Hannah's tries become increasingly violent. In the end, Bennett has to tear her away from her wife.

Notice Beatrice being distressed in the background. Terry Hanson reacted with a similar worry and discomfort, but Aranni II. Beldine, the "client", and Serenity Elaho-Inipp (not visible from this angle, unfortunately) were cheering at the fight.

Hannah slaps away Bennett's hand, gets up on her own and lunges into the crowd.

"It's all... today... today's... tonight's all your fault anyway."

It only takes a fateful second before Aranni excitedly announces, "Holy shit, it's a BAR FIGHT!" and pounces at Serenity.

CHOMP

(this, too, can be yuri)

Yeah. So. That was not a good night for the Devir-Jillenis. Beatrice (sober) and Bennett (sober-adjacent) managed to haul Hannah (who was complaining about feeling "like shit") and Felicia (who kept repeating the same gripes, making less and less sense and fewer and fewer complete sentences) back home and get them to bed without waking any of the children up. The mood was atrocious.

So atrocious, in fact, that it doesn't even help when the sum of 25 000 Simoleons pops up in Beatrice's bank account. It turns out that Felicia's agreement with Regina Hanson was that in exchange for the device, Regina would finance Beatrice's and Hannah's dream store. The Hanson heiress came through.

"We... we made it."

"Yeah, we did..."

"It's strange. I was expecting that it was going to feel... grander. Better."

"Me too. This sucks."

"We should maybe go home. We can start setting things up tomorrow."

"Right. I still feel like shit. It's like I was about to pass out any second. Fucking hangover."

"Hannah...?!"

"What?"

"You're not hungover, you have a fever!"

But it is way too late.

Felicia, sleeping after the disaster of the night in the club, is woken up by a horrible premonition. She stumbles out of the bed, dizzy. Her head is pounding. She makes it down the stairs. Beatrice is in the kitchen, preparing soup for her sick girlfriend.

"WHERE IS HANNAH?" Felicia bellows.

"Uh... in the bathroom?"

Felicia immediately runs towards the bathroom door. Beatrice, startled and concerned, follows. They hear loud, painful coughs and vomiting.

"Hannah! Unlock the door!"

"Hannah!"

"Hannah, are you okay in there?"

"Hannah, can you hear me?"

"HANNAH!"

When they manage to break the door down, they only find the urn. Not even Death Himself is still there.

(In game, of course Hannah wasn't locked in the bathroom, Sims don't do that. But the bathroom was small and she died so inconveniently placed, nobody could actually get to Grim Reaper to plead for her.)

Felicia wishes she died instead.

So, this round was not low-key traumatizing (for all the Sims, and me) at all! Luckily, it also has a very, very tonally different companion post, the children update, where you'll see what were the kids up to, and more! (I promise it's very unlike this one.) (If it's not up yet, it means I'm working on it) Anyway, the next in line is the household Devir 3, with Lester, Oliver, and their barely functioning farm.

By the way, I did not plan Hannah's death - unlike Balthazar's, hers was fully the game's doing. It will create a lot of interesting tension, and I'm excited for that, but I must say I was very attached to her and really keeping my fingers crossed she would become the general instead of Iulius. Oh well...

[lifeisabitch-butimcute]

hello!!!! 1 & pandalily pls !!! 💖🤍

yayayayay hello!! ofc 💕

When I started shipping them: imma be honest i don't remember when or how i was introduced to them 😅 like a year ago?

My thoughts: we're gonna be here for a while if i share all of them...i'll share the surface level deets. my lily is, in every universe, a comphet lesbian that has either crashed out and is living her best life, reluctantly surrendering to heteronormativity, or in some uncomfortable liminal space in between. pandora is the driving force in teaching lily how to stand up for herself and be her own person, and lily, in turn, acts as a grounding force. pandora lets lily be her own person and lily introduces a new form of love to pandora and it works!! so fucking well!! I'm slamming down one of my favorite pandalily interactions that i've written as evidence (it's short, it's out of context, we don't have tiiiiime):

“I just want to know who you are,” Pandora said quietly. She didn’t look put off by the outburst. “Outside of your accomplishments.” “I am my accomplishments,” Lily replied bitterly. “I don’t believe that.”

What makes me happy about them: 1) lesbians <3 2) lily getting to be happy and being separated from men's expectations of her and her responsibility to them and 3) pandora getting to love and be loved by someone who's not her brother (respectfully. love u evan) in a way that still allows her to be herself.

What makes me sad about them: i mean, canon is....pretty classically sad for both of them. they're dead. but even as a ship, i am kind of gutted by the idea that lily will never be pandora's twin, and i think that's something they both have to reconcile with because evan knows her so well and she's always had that so i think she gets frustrated when someone isn't as intuitive towards her wants/needs/etc. and i think lily would be weighed down for a long time by the feeling of the relationship not being "complete" because there's no man because she's been taught all her life that she is half of a whole and that empty space can only be filled by a man. that's a lot to overcome!

things done in fanfic that annoy me: i say this about a lot of female characters in fics, but i don't like when they have individual characteristics wiped out to make them more palatable and relatable. let them be kind of shitty, they don't always have to be sassy girlbosses or giggling simpering girly pops or whatever the fuck. i also don't love pandora being depicted as a luna 2.0 - i think she runs darker and a lil more twisted than luna. and lily...kinda back to my original point. she's not just One Thing. you can be more than one thing.

things i look for in fanfic: i'll be honest i don't read a ton of pandalily because i'm picky as hell, but i have read ones that i loooove and it's usually morally grey pandora and lily. i believe in several they were cannibals/serial killers. #girlboss

who i'd be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other: hm. i'm really only comfy with them ending up with other women...i do like lilycissa, and i'm open to other pandora-based lesbian ships, but off the top of my head i can't think of any. if anything i know you would have some so hmu if you've got any 😘 i'm still sitting on my lily/pandora/narcissa polycule idea too.

My happily ever after for them: 1) fuck nasty. 2) travel the world. 3) fuck nasty (internationally) 4) come home, work incredibly successfully jobs, maybe have a kid, if they're feelin it. otherwise, i could see them owning chickens? for some reason? could be a slay. 5) fuck nasty

who is the big spoon/little spoon?: pandora is big spoon, lily is little spoon!

what is their favorite non-sexual activity?: ooooh okay i think pandora really likes recipe experimentation (<- lame ripoff of canon someone string me up) but i love the idea of lily coming home from work to find pandora surrounded by ingredients and dishes and lily's always down to join and sometimes it turns out really well and sometimes they end up ordering pizza but pandora has a tendency to just throw things in the mix based on vibes and lily makes her slow down and write down the process but really they're both right and they have fun doing it so who cares?

BONUS because fun fact i have a multi-chap pandalily fic in process that i! forgot! about!

“Yeah, yeah,” Lily muttered into her glass as she lifted it to her lips. She set it down and said casually, “You can fuck me about it later.” Pandora’s hand froze where it was halfway to her mouth. Her gaze slid up to meet Lily’s. “Is that right?” Lily’s tongue darted out to swipe along her bottom lip, watching as Pandora’s eyes tracked the motion. “We could always have a thoughtful conversation about our feelings instead,” she said dryly, reaching for her own food.  Pandora’s nose wrinkled, and she took a vicious bite of bread and cheese before mumbling through her mouthful, “I’d rather make you scream.”

[belostoma]

Hi I need to share my weird fucked up horny tora brainrot:

It started with a joke about Tora walking in on two charismas fucking and being like OOPS. He reports to nakagami later and is like “uh by the way… two of them… had sex and I feel bad about-” “who was the bottom” “what?” “Who was bottoming?” “Uh I’m not sure-“ “go back” “huh?” “Go back and check”

Queue Tora starting to secretly spy on charismas and reporting the details to Nakagami. He’s wracked with guilt about spying but Nakagami has started calling him “Torahime” and jerking off on the phone. Tora starts lying about the things he sees and embellishing stories because he wants to hear Nakagami moan “torahime tell me more” but he’s also fucked up about Nakagami not giving a shit about him, just the charismas.

Why does he keep spying if he can just lie to Nakagami more? But then isn’t he betraying his sensei more? (He jerks off sad and pathetic every night) [crushes a can in my hand]

The charismas sometimes imply or tease him about all the phone sex he has with his “girlfriend”.

Also he’s pretty fucked up about the surprisingly tender moments he’s spying on. Sometimes it’s weird freak sex but sometimes there’s genuine vulnerable and/or loving moments that 1. He definitely shouldn’t be seeing and 2. Are something he thinks he’ll never have/doesnt deserve

Through canon events he “breaks up” with Nakagami and keeps living w the charismas. Slowly he is absorbed into the weird polycule 👍

Also Amahiko was like torahime it’s really hot when you watch but next time just let me know ahead of time 👍 and Tora is like how long did he know….

Thanks for listening to my brainrot 👍

anon I'm hooting and hollering this idea is so much fun. Ohhh my god. I love sad pathetic pining torahime. ohhhhh my god torahime longing for the moments of tenderness between the charismas really gets to me, too... sob sob...

I love nakagami the fudanshi. he's so real for needing to know who the bottom is, as soon as I read that sentence I screamed and I knew I was fully on board for the rest of this ask. I bet nakagami has really strong opinions on it. If torahime reports a ship configuration that he thinks is "unrealistic" I bet nakagami tries to argue about how it's OOC and x would NEVER bottom for y, torahime you must have seen wrong--and they get into top bottom discourse about it 😭

Amahiko's supernatural sexy senses also make me lose it every time. WSA you are iconic forever

thank you for sending me your brainrot, I feel privileged to have been the blog you went to with this. I hope I can continue to cultivate an image of "guy who people can send charisma house plotbunnies to". Lowkey it makes me think that a charisma house kinkmeme would be fun as hell... buuut I know the current fandom environment doesn't lend itself well to LJ-fandom-style kinkmemes so much, even if I know people still try to get them up and running on dreamwidth from time to time... I will happily (but somewhat hesitantly? lol) offer up my blog inbox to horny charisma plotbunnies if people have ideas they want to set free into the wild anonymously.

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

Zedaph! And Grian too if that’s okay for the Blaseball AU

It should be noted that I fucked up on this one, Zedaph was supposed to have the blood type psychic and coffee style anything, but this mistake was funny enough that I left it. Anyways.

Zedaph Plays is a pitcher for the Yellowstone Magic. Worm Man, who is definitely a different person, ignore that they have the same exact soulscream and fate, don't worry about it, is a pitcher for the Ohio Worms. Zedaph spends the time he isn't playing (which isn't much) investigating the ever-expanding, ever-stranger depths of Yellowstone National Park, trying desperately to discover a new Blagonball, and spending far too much time in Arizona for a man who plays for teams located in Yellowstone and Ohio respectively.

Zedaph joined up with the Magic in season 1 as an excuse to get into Yellowstone and investigate the park. When the Expansion teams fell from the sky, he proposed to Skizz that it would be really funny if somebody who was already playing tried to sign up for one of those new teams, just to see if the league would let them. Skizz didn't talk him out of it, so Zedaph created an unsubtle alias and signed up to pitch for the Worms. The league let it happen, so he now pitches for two teams. He's been extremely lucky and only had to pitch for both teams on the same day once. Thankfully, the game in question was between the Magic and the Worms, so he was just running between the two dugouts and hoping no one noticed.

Zedaph is a shapeshifter. He usually defaults to a sheepy guy, and Worm Man is just a pinker version of him with pure white eyes. He also wears a mask but that's not apart of the shapeshifting. The rest of the Hermits know that Zedaph is a shapeshifter, and they all have some amount of suspicion that Worm Man and Zedaph are just the same guy, but most of them aren't willing to call him on it. Impulse and Tango are the outliers here because they get husband privileges, so they know. (ZITS polycule is cannon because duh) (poly hermits is ALSO cannon but no one else has husband privileges, you understand)

By the way, Worm Man and Zedaph don't actually have different blood types, though he could do that with his shapeshifting, he just lied on the intake forms so it wouldn't be as wildly suspicious that two players had the exact same soulscream.

Grian H. Dreamslayer is a right fielder for the LA Unlimited Tacos. He spends most of his time not playing Blaseball playing pranks, abandoning robot children ala Frankenstein, and trying to talk Pearl in to using her precognition abilities into helping him cheat at card games.

Grian was a season 1 player for the LA Tacos. He'd played community Blaseball in college and thought "hey this will be fun" and now he's stuck here. During the Grand Unslam, he was one of the few players to get his name fully restored because the fans thought "Dreamslayer" was a sick as hell name. He also got a middle initial on his paperwork as a side effect.

During the Grand Siesta, Grian got really weird and really bored and hosted Demise, which I've talked about a fair amount in the tag. He convinced himself that he was going to make the top 5 at least because of "plot armor" and got beaned in the head by a pitching machine Cub set up while he was monologuing about this to Tango.

Grian is an avian who mostly avoids using his wings during games in the name of fairness, but he's not immune to panicking when an umpire lights up and trying to fly away. Also he used to be a Watcher in this world but that means basically nothing in this universe, it was just this weird, stupid gang he was in when he was a teenager. Sometimes they show up on his doorstep and go "quit your emo band, re-join my gang" and he just slams the door in their face every time.

[petertqrk]

for the character ask game: james wilson house md :3

I was asleep when I got this one but HAI^_^

Sexuality HC: worlds gayest heterosexual man . Bi but like he’s got a emotionally rough job and several alimonys to pay he’s not thinkin ab all that. Except when house is in the perimeter. If gay marriage was legal in NJ before 2013 the divorce number would be unimaginable ❤️.. Most importantly no matter the sexuality he’s a harlot

Gender HC: in similar above terms: world’s transsest cis man <3 ummm yea sure he’s cis w/e but also he’s so some trans guy. I also can Butchify anyone. Guards turn wilson into a masc woman

A ship I have with said character: gee i wonder…. Hilson should have been canon so they could be wilson divorce no.4. The divorce is just for fun bc house wants to flex the embarassing number of divorces & also have his own 1❤️. Happily toxic remarried. But idk that’s an average statement from Oscar hilsondivorce innit. Also house/cuddy/wilson is the unethical ethical polycule ever.

A BROTP I have with said character: the hypothetical interactions Wilson and Cameron had when he left ppth post-WH/HH is so special to Me…. Also um cuddy and wilson bitchy besties obv.

A NOTP I have with said character: IDFK whatever’s done boringly. I don’t vibe w the occasional cameron/wilson I’ve seen ig

A random headcanon: idk why but I think he reallyy likes sour candy :p also the first time he ever noticed a smidge of grey hair he freaked out and dyed it brown/match but noticing the nondifference stopped bothering after that one panic. also bc he knows it’d give house ammo to switch the dye w crazy colors more than he’s already tried before

General Opinion: tbf thru my first watch while I Did love him he wasn’t even top 5 charas. Thru my rewatch he’s making me insane❤️…. What the hell is up w this Guy. I need to open his gut up and see if he just has parasites that make him say & do All that:/ shoutout to awful Manwhores with hearts as big as their hair in media we don’t have enough of him

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THE FOLLOWING^

[go-go-devil]

My friend @silenthillmutual tagged me to answer some fic writer's ask game questions, so without further ado...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

17 as of right now.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

181,115

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Hylics, but I've dabbled in several different fandoms. I've also written for the band Ghost, Pathologic, Knock-Knock, created the Neverending Nightmares tag on AO3 which still only contains the 3 fics I wrote for it, and am currently writing an epic novel-length Dark Souls fanfic!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) Outcasts in an Overcast - 109

2) Dedusmuln Uncharted: The Hunt for the Paper Cup - 78

3) Molding A Legacy - 61

4) The Moon is Down - 60

5) Chaos Inverted - 51

Basically most of my Hylics fics lol 🌙 🎸🌯

5. Do you respond to comments?

I always try to respond to every comment I get since it's not often that I get any. There were a few that ended up slipping through the cracks of my memory, and to those I'm sorry since it now feels kinda weird to respond to a comment written years ago, but mostly if you see a comment that I haven't answered it most likely means I've already responded to the person on another social media site.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely a tie between The Moon is Down and Chaos Inverted, but frankly that's to be expected since Gibby's such a doomed character. Out of all the blorbos I had to write Shakespearean levels of angst for it somehow ended up being the clay alien who's head looks like an orange and/or zoopals plate XD

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ironically it's a Pathologic fic I wrote two years ago called Like A Fire Melting Us Down. Basically a hurt/comfort fluff fic featuring Murky and Daniil bonding over both being autistic. It's probably the only fic I've written fic I've written that has a definitively happy ending, as in there's no room for darker speculation for the future or anything like that.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully no. If anyone out there doesn't like my fics they've done good not to harass me about it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

No.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

The only crossovers I've written thus far both involve the game Knock-Knock; either the Lodger interacting with Thomas Smith from Neverending Nightmares or Daniil Dankovsky from Pathologic.

The latter comes from the fic Intruder, which I'm most proud of of all the crossovers I've done so far, yet I'm kinda surprised no one else has attempted this themselves or entertained the idea of my fic since Knock-Knock was what inspired Pathologic: The Marble Nest to begin with. I guess it's true that there are only 12 Western Knock-Knock fans left on the internet...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Also thankful this hasn't happened yet.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but if anyone wants to please let me know. I'd be more than happy for my stories to cross language barriers!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

One time my fellow Hylics fic veteran bombcollar wrote a story called Dedusmuln's Dossier, which is all about Dedusmuln documenting all of the enemies in Hylics 2, and which I contributed two pieces of writing for The Hand of Moodbleen and Carassius! It's an awesome fic I recommend any Hylics fan check out, and I had some good fun thinking of what I wanted them to say about these two uniquely annoying enemies.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Goddammit I don't fucking know lmao. I don't take shipping as seriously as other people do. For now I'll say Burakhovsky for all the beautiful art I've seen for it, the Hylics crew being in a queerplatonic polycule and, just to throw an insane curve ball at everyone in the room, Siegmeyer/Domhnall ;-)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'm gonna finish 'em all one day. I will not leave my children to rot in the pits of Writer's Block Hell...

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told by many people that they tend to really love the way I write dialogue for each of the characters I work with, original or already created. I'm also a lover of environmental descriptions and am always trying to build upon and improve in that aspect into my works.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably fight scenes since I've had so little practice, and due to a lot of the books I read not really having that many. I'm hoping To The Accursed can help me improve on that front, since Dark Souls is so heavily combat-oriented.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I haven't gone farther than using singular words in other languages as of right now. That's something I'm definitely gonna need to step up on later down the line, particularly since there will be Dark Souls characters I'll be writing soon who will be speaking some sentences in Latin and Welsh respectively.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Swedish metal band Ghost! It was a story called For A Divine Cause which was about Papa Emeritus Primo realizing he suffers stage fright right before he's supposed to start touring for the first album, and thus summons his younger brother Terzo to help shape him up into being a good front man.

It's without question the worst of my fics from a writing and technical perspective, but it was the first one I ever wrote so that's kinda to be expected. I am pleasantly surprised it has so many kudos and bookmarks after all these years!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Honestly, I'm think I'm gonna have to make it a tie between Dedusmuln Uncharted and Chaos Inverted.

The first is the fic where I truly started getting more creative in my writing (and is my first full made podfic which I'm even more proud of!), while the latter was sooooo much fun to write and gave me the confidence to write novellas. The Hylics fandom has been so supportive of my work, and I thank you all for being the best fandom experience I've ever had <3

That was fun! I'll tag @bombcollar, @pinkiepiebones, and @brainshock-alpha for this one ✏️✨

[the-crow-binary]

Top 5 reasons Mactor is secretly best ship? :3

5. Yes.

4. It's our two respective blorbos kissing LIKE HOW CAN IT GO MORE PEAK THAN THAT. WE'RE LITERALLY JUST TAKING EACH OUR FAVORITE DOLLS AND MAKING THEM HOLD HANDS. THAT'S WHY BEST SHIP IDC.

3. They have no one but each other (well, in the "Mathias somehow ended up in pre-CV3 Castlevania" scenario, at lest), Mathias for the obvious reason that he knows no one and everyone is evil and wicked ESPECIALLY Dracula and the only person to be nice to him is Hector, and Hector because he slowly start to realise how not okay his relationship with Dracula is, and Isaac hates him, and no one else in the Castle is trustworthy, there's no one he could call a "friend" anymore. And it makes them cling to each other more. They're a healthy and actually "good" version of Hecula and it's cute but also it HURTS because EVEN THEN THEY CAN NEVER BE TOGETHER BECAUSE LORE AND CANON AND MATHIAS HAS TO GO HOME EVENTUALLY AND HECTOR CANNOT FOLLOW AND MATHIAS WILL BECOME DRACULA ANYWAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PAIN.

2. Lord/Knight relationship mixed with pious man/sinner who worships the pious man more than he would ever worship God himself relationship, wich offer such a delicious dynamic <3 The knight who's whole life and skills are based on sinning against God, who he has only disdain for. And yet he choses to follow and protect a man who's whole life revolves around SERVING God. And the Lord respects the knight for his skills and passion and devotion, even though he doesn't entirely agree with him. And the knight doesn't agree with his vision of God but he accepts it because what matters to him is his Lord as a person, and his Lord is the only God he is willing to follow (almost) blindly. There's something magnetic attracting them to the other. They're literally so cool I LOVE THEM also. they're kinky af.

1. They're literally made for each other. Both linked to Dracula in a particular way (him from the past/him if he didn't let his anger and grief take the best of him :) ), they both have this tendency to not get attached to many people, but damn, when they do get attached, they get A-TTACHED. "I would kill and die for you" KIND OF ATTACHED. They share a passion for alchemy, Hector actually studied from Mathias and the Cronqvist family's books, so it makes their relationship extra special <3 Hector needs someone to worship and dedicate his life to, Mathias feel like he shouldn't like that but he is weaker than he likes to admit <3 (taking God's place is a sin, he's pretty sure. but hey, it's not like he can change Hector, so, might as well :)) They both admire the other in some way. Mathias is the brain, Hector the brawn, so they complete each other too... so many ways in wish they can make you go "ah, yes, those two are literally soulmates <3" even reasons i didn't mention because little brain forgot at the moment BUT STILL (also depending on wich version of Mactor it is... They can bond over their hatred and grief after their respective wives died :) And it can lead them to bring each other even deeper in hell, instead of lifting each other up like in a pre-wives death Mactor scenario <3). It all hurts even more when you think about the fact they are doomed from the start. Never meant to stay together forever. :') Fated to separate at one point, wether they want to or not. :') (but scratch that i want to imagine Hector going with Mathias to his era and them and Leon forming a raw gay sex polycule and be happy)

So yeah, the them <3 The “God has never once shown that he cares about me, therefore he is not my Lord. You are.” them <3 The "Please, i am begging you, don't let go of me" them <3 The "I don't like who you worship/serve but I cannot get enough of you" them <3 I cannot wait for someone to release a fic showing how peak they are :)

[marezelle]

20 Questions

tagged by both @toopunkrockforshul and @writingordinaryrealities so I guess I'd better do it LOL

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18!

2. What’s your total AO3 words count?

202,063

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently only Greenwing & Dart by Victoria Goddard. In the past I wrote a teeny bit of Legend of Korra fic, and then one Check, Please! fic and one Pokemon fic.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

falling and falling and falling, A Beifong Woman's Guide to Getting the Girl, tender is the night, to face unafraid the plans that we made, and protective measures

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, and I usually do immediately after I post a fic. (I always end up running behind, though.) I do so because I am genuinely SO grateful to everyone who reads and comments on my stories. Every comment is a gift.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

To call it angst is perhaps overselling the yearning happening there, but probably protective measures.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I had to go back and look at fics I've barely even thought about in years, but probably tender is the night, tbh.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! I am not a popular writer. (thank god)

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have begun to dabble, though I don't know how to quantify it? it's smut. LOL

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I still have that unfinished Carol-inspired Check, Please! au. I'm probably never going to go back to it, but I maintain that the vibes were immaculate.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, but how cool would that be?

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No, and tbh the idea of doing so is intimidating as hell, but I'm sure it would be fun.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

What do you mean "favorite"? I'm supposed to pick? I can't even pick a current favorite, considering I'm writing a whole polycule of various ships for G&D and I love them all.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I've accepted that my older unfinished works are going to stay that way, but sometimes I do think about The Journey. The end of that fic was going to involve Jinora and Opal leaving the Eastern Air Temple, to be followed by a sequel where they travelled to Zaofu, then the Southern Water Tribe, and then through the Fire Nation. The third story in the series would have brought them to Republic City, where they would establish Air Temple Island. The story as I began it just had too many plot holes, though, and I ended up losing interest in the primary romantic relationship.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do a decent job with pacing. It turns out that I'm good at planning out a cohesive narrative that will play out over the course of a series; working out the snags is part of the fun. I like when unnoticed details are given greater/changed meaning or depth later on. (I learned that from @ourimpavidheroine!) Oh and my friends say I write pining well, LOL.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Figuring out plots driven by anything but the characters' emotional beats. (This is why I've written thousands of words of fanfic this year, and simply cannot get an original novel out of the planning stages.) I so wish I could write a complicated political plot, or a mystery, but I think those things are beyond me. Weaving in description alongside dialogue is also tricky for me, I always feel like I fall into using the same phrases over and over.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't speak any other languages well enough to do it, but it would be very neat.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Pokemon, *way* back in the day.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

*gasp* How dare you make me pick just one. I guess it has to be hello, my old heart, though. I just am so proud of that fic. It's not just that it's the kind of thing that I've dreamed of writing for a long while (slowburn, lots of yearning, LONG) but that I managed to do it during a summer where I was struggling with just about everything else in my life. I'm very fond of the world it's set in, and I have so many plans for both prequels and sequels to it.

I'm tagging @ourimpavidheroine, @assistant-blogkeeper, and anyone else who thinks this would be fun! (no pressure to play along, though <3)

[catboynutsack]

Random hopes for FFXIV Dawntrail in no particular order from a person who's currently about to start the title quest Endwalker (so don't spoil the dungeon/fights and any post EW content)

New playable species outside of female Hrothgar; specifically another animalistic species similar to Miqo'te/Viera in that they're much more humanoid with animal features rather than anthropomorphic animals (like Hrothgar.) Biggest hopes are for a bird like race (similar to Meteion, I love harpies so much and while I know she's a familiar it would be cool to see a playable species based on her) or fish people (similar to Dungeons and Dragons Tritons, again I love mermaids and fish-like people so much.)

Random and small, I'd like to see canonical ages established within the game, maybe with like nameday celebrations of some kind for some characters. It would be so cute to have a birthday party for Alisaie and Alphinaud, I would die for those little dweebs and they're still technically kids and you KNOW their mom would go nuts for a celebration for them. I know there's been canon age mentions in additional content like books and such but ingame would be nice.

Viera hats for the love of God. I'm not a 3D artist and idk the process but it can't be that hard can it?? I know there's a whole design aspect involved bc Big Ol Ears but like. Square Enix is a huge company, surely they can allocate some resources to actually make clothing appear on an entire very popular race. If it's more complicated than I know then forgive me 3D artists, I love what y'all do I'm just uneducated on it 💛

Random as hell again and probably more suited towards an update than a new expansion but. I'd really like them to sorta retcon (is that the right word? Idk it's 3:20 am and I cant sleep) primal weapons so all primals have weapons for all classes. I'd kill for an ice scythe from the Extreme Shiva battle from HW or a pair of Leviathan Chakrams for my Dancer. I know that levelling is an issue but if they were, say, available via trading totems from the fight and synced to their class's lowest level I'd think that could work. Idk as someone who loves primal themed glams but mains Dancer and Reaper it drives me bananas that it's so limited.

A new Important female character that Doesn't Fucking Die or is somehow written off in the same pack for the love of God I swear they disproportionately kill off/write off female characters (I miss Moenbryda and Ysayle every day)

More romantic emotes/activities outside of the ceremony of eternal bonding! Not only is my partner very busy and we often have little FFXIV dates rather than in person things, I'm in a polycule and by the time I started playing my partner was already married ingame to my metamor (my partner's other partner) so I'm locked out of some emotes like the embrace emote while they aren't and it kinda sucks. It would be nice to be able to be romantic with them outside of /blowkiss and /hug and to be able to do couples content outside of the ceremony of eternal bonding. Maybe just a me problem though.

Un-gender all clothing items. I want my male character to wear a craftable bikini top goddamnit, it's fun. Plus it's a beachy-themed expansion afaik so it would make sense to un-gender the bathing suits

Speaking of craftable bikini tops, more craftable clothing for glams and not just combat!!! Cute bathing suits and the such that are level 1 and meant exclusively for glams would be amazing. We have a few already but with the upcoming theme being seemingly being beaches it seems appropriate.

Longer hairstyles. Clipping be damned my miqo'te would rock a long hair look (and his braid, which is the same hairstyle as Fourchenault's, already clips into every top ever so like. C'mon)

Number 1 on this list is the new species being humanoid with animal features. I eat that shit up with a spoon. I love making OCs and a new alt devoted to a species I like is absolutely in the books. Already have done it twice lol.

Improve Aurum Vale for the love of God that dungeon is a nightmare and it's like one of three that ever shows up on rouls on Dynamis

Anyways if any of this bothers you for any reason please just scroll by, these are my middle of the night daydreams when I can't sleep of things that I personally would enjoy in the game, I know my ideas don't apply to everyone and all of them wouldn't really make sense for one reason or another but it's fun to write them down and put them out into the world. And obviously this post isnt gonna make a difference in the game itself, I'm just a rando on Tumblr lol. Thank you <3