#Unless someone really wants I guess in which case sure why not

[spitdrunken]

response to this ask: ABSOLUTELY NOT TOO MUCH!!! This ask has brought me infinite joy and I have reread it a LOT. (Also dw, I will always assume Reader is an adult through asks!! But I get why you’d wanna say that with a term such as grooming, haha) also this got REALLY LONG… HELP.

Notes: pseudocest, obsessive behaviour, codependency, unequal power dynamics, implied minor character death, infantilization… general creepiness. Perhaps this veers away from my original post a little, but I love the idea that you’re someone entirely new to Hell. You’re fresh off the boat, so to speak, entirely unfamiliar with the way things work around here— Except that everything’s fucking terrifying, and you want out! Right now. Please. You see an ad on a random TV in a store’s display, one featuring a hotel that promises ‘sinners’ (which is what you are now, apparently, even your own body now being a new and confusing factor of your existence) a possible way to ascend up to Heaven. Now new and refurbished, after the last successfully averted extermination! Whatever that means. With nowhere else to turn to, no other leads or possibilities except sleeping out on the blood-soaked streets, of course you go! Who wouldn’t? You’d be stupid not to go! …Unless this is all a big scam In which case, you can only hope that you can’t die more than once.

Maybe you arrive, and this grand, beautiful hotel, is, well… Deserted. It’s beautiful on the outside, sure, but where are any of the staff? Or the people staying there, for that matter? You’re so uncomfortable out it all, that you nearly turn tail and run back from whence you came. You would have, if where you came from wasn’t ten times worse.

You walk up to the front desk, and, before you can change your mind, ring the little bell placed on the desk. Someone appears in a flash of golden light, and you have to squint your eyes to avoid being blinded. It disappears as quickly as it came, and a man… Demon, actually, appears in its place. (You catch a quick glance of something bright yellow being quickly stuffed into his pocket, but you have no idea what it is.) His form is noticeably more humanoid than the others you’ve seen out and about. Yes, his skin is an inhuman tone, and his cheeks take apple-red to a whole new level, but he doesn’t appear monstrous. That doesn’t make him exactly inviting, however. His face is set in a neutral expression, and he openly looks you up and down, pupils narrowed into slits. You scratch at the side of your neck, only to immediately flinch. You aren’t quite used to how sharp your nails are nowadays. “Um, hello! I— Sorry to bother you, sir,” you break the silence. “I might be wrong, but is this the Hazbin Hotel…? I saw the advertisement that was put out, and I was interested. Would you happen to be the owner?”

His neutral expression fades, and a small smile takes it place, eyelids sliding half-closed. “Oh no, no— Old me isn’t the boss of this place. That would be my daughter! I’m sure you would have heard of us.” He leans on his staff, both of his hands cupped around the apple on top. His eyes roam around your expression as if searching for something. “You’re pretty new here, I’m guessing?” “…Mhm. It’s that obvious, huh?” You don’t know how he was able to tell so quickly, but you laugh in a way that can only be heard as self deprecating. You shift your weight from one foot to the other, and avert your eyes.

“It’s kind of hard to tell how much time has passed, but— Not a lot. Honestly, I have no idea what’s going on. One moment, I was alive, and the next I was here, with this weird body, surrounded by terrifying people, and I don’t know—“ Your voice cracks under the weight of the reality of your situation. An eternity in Hell. “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… Yeah. It’s just been a lot.” “I see. Yes, this realm isn’t particularly kind, least of all to newcomers. I can’t imagine what you’ve seen.” He says, quieter now. You dare a glance at his face. Something in his features has softened at your words, his slit pupils and smile wider in size. When he sees you looking, he extends a hand. You take it, and he gives you multiple firm shakes, before pulling you into a quick hug that has your knees buckle a bit and crushes the air out of your lungs. For a little guy, he really is surprisingly strong. When he lets you go, he’s still got a hand holding yours, leading you to one of the couches in the lobby, and promptly plopping down, pulling you with him. “But things are already on the rise for you from here on out!” He says, all boisterous and smiles, revealing rows of sharp teeth. “You’re new here, and already hit the jackpot! Lucifer’s the name!" And you can only imagine what kind of expression flashes over your face, because he nods rapidly and winks at you. “—Yes, that one, glad that, at least, rings a bell. And staying here places you under my family’s protection." His gaze drifts over the lobby. "My daughter and her friends are out doing trust exercises somewhere right now, but I’m certain she’ll be happy to welcome once she returns. She’s a real sweetheart, let me tell you! She didn’t get that from me, I can tell you that!” He laughs, but it quickly tapers off into a sigh. You wish you could laugh along. You have to admit you’re more than just a bit frozen up, questioning all of the decisions in your life and death that lead up to this moment. Sitting on a couch in a hotel lobby with Satan himself… Maybe you could die again, after all, and you were about to experience it. You probably have committed like fifty gross breaches of etiquette already, and, and— There’s a little rubber duck sitting on your lap.

It immediately snaps you out of your stupor, with how sudden and unexpected it is. The duck is bright yellow with chubby orange cheeks, and wearing a little black top hat. You can’t help cracking up a bit, taking it into your hand. …Maybe this guy is as silly as his outfit would suggest. Was calling himself Lucifer his idea of a joke? Things might be alright after all. “Ah..." You smile. "He’s so cute!” You relax, letting your back hit the sofa you’re sitting on. “Like a little gentleman!” This is the only adorable thing you’ve seen ever since arriving in Hell, and no one should blame you for getting a bit excited. Your days have been nothing but utter misery, after all. “You think so? I mean—“ He laughs, short and sudden. “Of course you do! Just look at the little guy! Who couldn’t love him? You can keep him, I can make another one lickety-split!” “Oh! Um, thank you! Does he have a name?” You’re full-on smiling now, and turning to look at ‘Lucifer’. At a shake of his head, you hum in thought. “A fancy guy deserves a fancy name… What about Reginald?” You turn the little toy around, inspecting it from all sides. “You’ve seen nothing yet! Just give it a little squeeze, not too much.” You do as he says. Through the little hole in its beak, a white droplet emerges. “It’s glue! He used to help me with my crafting projects. But, well, he’s yours now. Off to greener pastures, as they say.” You can’t help yourself. The whole situation is really not all that funny, but you crack up, and once you start laughing, you can’t stop. Your chest hurts, and tears are burning at the corners of your eyes. You have no idea why! Everything’s been such a mess lately. After a couple of seconds, you babble out some nonsense. “I gave— I gave Reginald such a posh name! But… Y’know, he’s a working man!” You say, still cracking up in between the words. At this, it’s Lucifer who laughs, a sound loud and sudden enough to ring in your ears. Seems you hadn’t heard a real laugh out of him before after all.

In other words, Lucifer (who you end up finding out really is the Devil himself) quickly grows fond of you, and takes you under his wings. Perhaps it’s your innocence about Hell and it’s mechanisms that pulls him towards you, combined with the fact that you’re just kind of easy to fuss over. You’re none the wiser that Lucifer was all but hopeless about sinners before helping restart the hotel, and entirely unaware that your dynamic is anything but normal. In your mind, Lucifer must befriend people rather frequently! While you’re quickly taken in by Hazbin Hotel’s other friends and staff, it really is Lucifer who helps you through your adjustment period. He makes you little covers for your claws, so you can get used to having sharp appendages, and not accidentally keep clawing open furniture or your own flesh. He requests Nifty makes some food that is at least visually similar to some Earth meal. When you wake up in the morning, there’s always a little duck sitting in front of your hotel door, making you start your day with a smile. You’ve got a shelf full of them now, and love all of them. (And when you’re curled up in your bed, late at night, crying over all that you’ve lost, smothering your sobs with a pillow, there is a gentle knock on your door. Lucifer sits on the side of your bed, wearing striped pajamas in red and white, and encourages you to pour your heart out to him.

There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Everything you’re feeling, everything you’re going through— He’s heard and seen it all before. In fact, he’s sure he’s heard much, much worse. Has he ever done you wrong? No, he hasn’t. So, talk to him. He tells you, dabbing at your face with a white handkerchief decorated with apples stitched onto it. And you do.)

Lucifer looks after you. Sure, he’s not perfect. But no one is, right? Lucifer often seems to lose track of the conversation you’re having with him, distracted by the things around him and suddenly veering off into entirely different territory. In general, his memory is spotty at best, but you’re not surprised that an immortal being such as himself wouldn’t remember every single little thing you say.

He’ll hole himself up in his workshop for days at a time, only to emerge with nothing to show for it, except for a downtrodden expression. He’ll fight with Alastor (and continuously remind you to stay far away from that piece of shit), and get fussy whenever you try to leave the hotel without him glued to your side. Though his memory seems to often be unreliable, and you believe that a lot of simple conversations you have with him are simply left forgotten, there are instances you would consider insignificant that remain fresh in his mind.

“You’re doing it again,” you tell Lucifer. He’s pacing up and down the length of his room, ranting about Alastor. He blinks, and halts his movements, tapping his staff on the floor. “Doing what?” “The thing,” you emphasize, before standing up and walking towards him, dragging the top of your finger across his bottom lip. You can feel him take a quick inhale as soon as you make contact. A golden smear is left across your skin. “You’re always chewing on your bottom lip when you get upset. Doesn’t it hurt? I know it heals within, like, ten seconds, but still!” Absentmindedly, you look at his blood. It’s a weird thought to have, but it’s strangely… Beautiful. You look back up at him, and your brow furrows. “Hey… Were your red spots always that big? I think I’m seeing things.”

But things get better, and he improves. He starts to try and take little notes of the things you’ve told him, alongside the words of other people important to him, like Charlie, like a diary of sorts. The door to his workplace starts being left unlocked, and you’ll wander in, from time to time. You’ll sit on the chair in the corner of the room, reading or otherwise occupying yourself, and telling him that no, that duck or toy is not the worst thing you’ve ever seen, and doesn’t deserve to be burnt to a crisp.

You listen as he, on bad days, talks about his wife with a forlorn expression on his face. Things get better, though. He tries not to see the worst in sinners any longer, and his moods grow better. He spends more time with Charlie. All is well. You don’t realize just how entangled your existences are until you’re in too deep. That your eyes search for him every time you enter a new room, that you’ve grown comfortable with him doing the talking for you. You try to convince yourself it’s not a bad thing, but the simple truth is that you’ve lost a chunk of your independence. And when you try to go out with the other residents, it’s so easy for him to coax you back out of it.

Are you really sure you want to go? Look, I’m not trying to keep you here— I’m really not! But Hell’s a dangerous place out there, and I can assure you there’ll be things there that you really don’t want to see. …I’ve been working on a little display case for your favourite ducks, I can show you that instead.

He only grows more protective when time goes on, and you do more exercises with the rest of the hotel, bond with the other residents. At times, he tries to convince you to forgo their shared activities entirely.

(You try to forget about what you found in a drawer of his desk, one day. A note among so many other reminders that he is known to keep. But this one is wrinkled, pen pressed so hard to the paper that it’s torn in places. All of them want to go to Heaven, all of them want to leave here. Me. I get it. Because she has left, no one can be guaranteed to stay. But I won’t let the apple of my eye be taken, even if they send down an envoy and try to escort them up themselves. …But it’s hard not to remember.) When he gives you your a warning about the ‘scary outside world’ for the umpteenth time, you can’t help but roll your eyes and counter. Alright, dad. Nothing about your tone shows sincerity. You mean it as a joke or a jab, but Lucifer doesn’t laugh. Instead, he hums out a pleased little noise, a smile settling on his face.

The way he looks at you is so utterly tender, all half-lidded eyes and pupils blown wide, that it leaves you reeling. He nestles himself at your side, under the comfort of your arm, and promises to take care of you for the rest of your eternal life spent there. You have an eternity. It’s sweet, and knocks the breath out of you.

But you would’ve been able to reconcile the image of Lucifer and ‘father figure’ more easily if he, sometimes, didn’t act so contrary to such an image. He’ll call for you from behind his workdesk as you’re sitting on your usual chest, ready to show you a ventriloquist doll he’s been working on.

As you stand next to him, an arm is wrapped around your waist, and he pulls you on his lap. It’s in no way comfortable for him. He has to stick his head underneath one of your arms to see anything at all. It would be silly otherwise, but the way he pulls you flush against him, face nuzzled into your side as he audibly inhales, one clawed hand resting on your thigh… You can’t help but have it muddle your feelings towards him. He frequently kisses your hand as a greeting, and insists you let him kiss both of your cheeks before parting. You would write it off as one of his unique quirks if he did the same thing for Charlie, but he doesn’t.

Lucifer, with an eternity of time to hone his skills behind him, has picked up all kinds of crafts, including sewing. He’ll make pieces of clothing for you in his colour scheme, sew apple-themed patches on your clothing, among other things. It’s always embarrassing when he makes something. He fusses and cooes over you like you’re a child when you first wear any piece, clapping his hands and grinning. Oh, just look at you! Aren’t you the cutest little thing? It looks lovely on you!

Anyone with more than two braincells can tell something is going on between the two of you, though no one is quite sure exactly what. Perhaps Angel is rubbed the wrong way by just how overbearing Lucifer is being, and considers you to just get out there for once with the rest of them. You’re always cooped up inside the hotel! Come on, he’s been around the block more times than he count, and he knows every trick in the book. You’ll be fine as long as you stick with him. And… You have fun! Going out, dancing and drinking, accompanied by your friends, is wonderful. But maybe you drink a little bit too much, yet entirely unfamiliar with the different types of names alcoholic beverages in Hell have. How were you supposed to know you accidentally ordered one of the strongest drinks on the menu? And, in the crowd of people, you lose the rest, wandering outside without really noticing it. You’re such an obvious target, staggering on the sidewalk, giggling and mumbling to yourself, that you wouldn’t entirely blame anyone for the poor argument that ‘you were asking for it’ in a place like this. Your world is left spinning as you’re pushed against a wall, vision momentarily blacking out as your skull bashes against brick. (Somewhere in the club, Angel is looking for you, getting more frantic by the moment.)

You never get the chance to figure out exactly what the demon’s intentions are. As soon as their fingers brush over a patch Lucifer had sewn into your clothing, an apple with a little snake head popping out, they’re blasted back by golden light.

Your addled mind is still struggling to keep up when you’re wrapped in a set of soft, beautiful wings. The back of your head is cradled by gloved hands. You catch a glimpse of blood-red eyes set within a familiar face, but, soon, a cluster of feathers covers your eyes. There are horrible cracking noises, gurgling, wheezing— Though you see none of it, your imagination more than makes up for it. You press your face up against his chest, nauseous and shaking like a leaf. Lucifer takes off without a word, the flapping of his multiple sets of wings loud enough to awaken an oncoming headache. Mid-flight, when his features have returned to the ones you know him for, he peppers your face with kisses, and makes you look at him. You mumble out apologies, sniffling, drunk and shaken, but Lucifer shushes you.

What were you doing all the way out there, on your own? You’re usually such a good listener, my dove. You always listen to all of my warnings. A gloved finger traces your cheek. Someone convinced you to go out, didn’t they? That has to be it. You can tell your dad who it is. I won't be mad at you. You’ve never been afraid of Lucifer before. Now, though, you’re filled with apprehension. You frantically shake your head. Oh, then it was your own idea? The tip of one of his nails pokes your cheek. Not nearly hard enough to hurt, but the pressure is there.

…And you really do deserve to be in Hell, because prompted with this question, you take the selfish way out, and once again shake your head. More slowly, this time. See? It wasn’t that hard to be truthful, was it? I knew it wouldn’t be your fault. Now, all you have to do is tell me who it was.

That night, you spend the night in his bed, with Lucifer arguing that you’re very drunk. Which is very much. It’d be horrible for you to go ahead and choke on your vomit, or something like that! So, you should just stay with him. As you're drifting on the verge between conscious and unconscious, his lips find the skin of your throat, placing kisses up and down. Open-mouthed and warm, barely restrained.

You wake up the next morning with a splitting headache and only vague memories of the day prior. But you wake up with Lucifer’s arms wrapped around you, his face hidden in the crook of your neck, each of his breaths tickling your skin. You wake up to one of his legs slotted in between yours. You wake up to the realization that you’ve bitten off far, far more than you can chew.

[concreteangel92]

Thou Shalt Not Kill - Chapter 9

AU Noah Sebastian x female reader

18+

Summary: Reader is a detective and is assigned to a murder case which she soon connects with previous killings and figures out the religious affiliation, proving there is a new serial killer within the city. Reader soon becomes obsessed with the killers mind and methods and won’t rest until she figures out who the killer is. All while she gets used to working with her new partner on the case, detective Noah Davis.

Warnings: talks of death, talks of murder/killings, use of religion, the starting of stockholm syndrome

Right, I really shouldn’t have to write this but I’m giving fair warning now!!

In this chapter we once again MENTION the passing of someone close to Noah (this AU version of Noah!) it’s been briefly used before and no one had any issues with it.

However I am aware of a lot of drama with another account who has used the death of someone who was close to Noah within their story. I’m going to clarify that I have not read this story, I do not intend to read that story and I have no interaction with this person anymore so I really don’t know the details or how much this trauma has been used but from what I’ve seen/heard, it caused a huge uproar.

My dad passed away 10 years ago, I fully understand the soul destroying pain and would never use something so carelessly! But it’s a huge detail that needs to be here. I can assure everyone that it shouldn’t be mentioned again (unless necessary!) and I hope it doesn’t cause any offence, I’m not going into details in this chapter at all, simply mentioning it to help the story progress.

I hope everyone can understand this and I really don’t want any negative comments, an adult discussion is fine if you really need to talk but not these petty trolls that I’ve been seeing please and no passive aggressive posts, they are childish, just message me if you have an issue

Thank you and I hope you enjoy!!

Tags: @Ima1986 @hayleylatour @reyadawn @thatchickwiththecamera @calleyx13 @english-fucker @darling-millicent-aubrey @malerieee @ithoughtbynowidfeelbetter @softvgold @lilhobgobbler @glccmreid @badomensls @madomens @loeytuan98 @iluvmewwwww75 @rosebushjhj @livingdeceasedgirl @lilrubles @samanthasgone @blackveilomens @hellayeahsworld @lookwhatitcost @doomhands-jr @nojoyontheburn @poisongirl616 @bakanerd @sacredthefran @flowery-mess

MASTERLIST

Chapter Index

9 days had gone by, just over a week you’d been stuck in this basement.

It was the same routine most days, Noah would bring you food or make sure a sandwich and drinks were left for you if he knew he wouldn’t be around, you assumed he was still going to work. Noah had mentioned it once that he was keeping up appearances but for how long was anyone’s guess.

Of course your work believed that you were ‘on leave’ so why would they be looking for you? You would have assumed someone would have tried to get hold of you by now but you were sure Noah has probably taken care of that, he was too smart to make any small mistakes and he kept any conversations like that to a minimum.

Noah had taken the time to bring a load of your clothes and toiletries from your apartment, clearly knowing you’d be here awhile. The days were very long at first, you had nothing to simulate your mind, you actually started looking forward to Noah coming in just so you had someone to talk too.

The times when Noah was here, he sat and ate with you normally, acting like you really were just two friends having a catch up, it was almost unnerving how normal it was.

The first few days you’d spent screaming out but no one heard or came, clearly he wasn’t lying about it being soundproofed. You’d analysed the room a thousand times, trying to figure a way out. The window was far too high for you to reach and even if you could, it was too small for you to fit through.

You’d tried to think of ways to over power Noah when he came in but thinking of all the cases and how strong he must truly be to have executed them, you knew that would be suicide.

Once you’d realised that all chances of an escape were slim, you started to accept your fate, you were completely at Noah’s mercy.

In a strange way, you almost relaxed after that, what was the point in stressing out about something you couldn’t change at this stage, you decided it was better to save your energy and strength for when you needed it, you were sure that an opportunity would present itself when the time was right.

The days had become very long after this however, you had counted every crack in the ceiling, tried to get lost in day dreams in your mind but that only worked for so long.

So now seeing Noah was a breath of fresh air within your day.

Noah had been nothing but the perfect gentleman, he made sure you had all the food and drinks needed, he even brought down fresh bedding for you and took away your dirty clothes to bring them back all clean and folded. He made sure you had clean towels for the shower room that was down here. It was almost like he took pride in looking after you.

“He’s holding you hostage you idiot! This ain’t a holiday hotel!”

Noah would talk about most things with you, he’d discuss history, music, art. He was actually so much more interesting and intelligent than you’d ever realised now you were seemingly getting to know him better, although he was very careful about certain subjects such as the case, work, etc.

Today you were lying on your bed, in your mind you were thinking about your favourite holiday that you’d been on, it felt like a life time ago now but you tried to relive it day by day, picturing that you were anywhere but here in this dark basement.

You heard the sound of footsteps so you sat yourself up, maybe a bit quicker then you should have. The door opened and in walked Noah.

“Afternoon angel, how are you doing?”

You decided to be honest with him.

“Bored, I’m so bored. If you’re going keep me here, can I at least have something to do when you’re not here! There’s only so many cracks around the room I can count before I’ve memorised them”

Noah smiled slightly as your attempt at some humour and nodded.

“Actually I’ve brought you some things today. I realised you must be bored with nothing much to do so I picked up some things from your apartment”

With that, Noah lifted up the bag he’d been carrying and he pulled out some of your books from home and an old radio. The gesture actually taking you back.

“I…uhh…thank you”

“Can’t have that brilliant mind going lazy on me now can we?”

You couldn’t help but laugh with him.

•••••

A couple more days had passed, very much the same as before but this time you actually had stuff to keep you occupied during the days.

Noah was still acting like this was a normal situation, there was no mention of the case or anything over the last few days.

There was one thing about the case that still bothered you however, something you hadn’t dared bring up to Noah incase it triggered a bad reaction. But today you decided you had nothing to lose by talking to him about it. So you waited until he came in with dinner for both of you and you were sat eating together before you approached the subject.

“Noah…can I ask you a question? I need to know something”

Noah’s brown eyes met yours as you clearly peaked his interest, he tilted his head as he looked over you.

“Depends what it is but go on”

You took a breath, moving your food to the side and you tried to make sure you worded everything very carefully.

“Your first victim, Anthony…who was he to you?”

Noah’s expression had become harder to read as he stared at you.

You watched him lick his lips before he answered with a small smirk.

“Still not figured that out detective?”

You shook your head.

“I didn’t really have the time….from what I read however, I assume he was the first. ‘Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images’ but who was he to you? That kill seemed more….personal and it was….different….to the others”

Noah didn’t say a word, he simply ran his eyes over your face but you noticed the relax expression from before was gone.

“He’s a killer…not my friend”

He stood up from his position on the bed and paced slowly, almost like he was calculating his next words.

You felt every nerve in your body on edge, you knew the risk of pushing this man but you’ve done it anyways.

“Anthony Jackson was my first kill, and you’re right, he was different….more sloppy I’d say….I’ve definitely improved on my work since”

Noah stalked closer towards you so you made the point of standing up, mostly so he wasn’t completely towering over you.

“You really want to know angel? Very well. My first kill was the man responsible for the death of my father”

Your mouth fell open in shock at his words and you listened intently to what he had to say.

“After all those years of never knowing who was responsible, when I became a police officer I managed to do some digging and I eventually found him” Noah’s face became very hard as he carried on. “It wasn’t easy, but when I realised it was him, I knew I couldn’t let him go. Would you believe that Anthony was a religious man? And yet he got away with murder, it wasn’t fair that he ruined my life and just carried on living his unpunished!”

Noah was stood in front of you now but you didn’t move away, you now understood, you understood why he started this in first place.

“You said you were raised religious…did you stop believing the da…that day?”

“Yes. I knew that there was no such thing as a god if he could take everything away from me”

You nodded as you took it all in, still be very careful not to provoke him.

“I didn’t do anything for years and years, but once I found him, I knew what my purpose was. As I said, I’ll admit it was more sloppy but that’s what they call a ‘crime of passion’ after all”

You were still putting all the pieces together within your mind, all of it was truly starting to make sense now…apart from one thing.

“If he was ‘thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images’ then why his heart? I can understand the fact he was religious but had murdered someone, from the crime scene photo I saw in that email, I could see religious items in the background. But I don’t understand why the heart was your main focus?”

Noah couldn’t seem to stop the sinister smile from spreading on his lips.

“He ripped my heart out so I simply returned the favour”

The memory of your own dad’s passing suddenly felt so fresh in your chest. You couldn’t help but reach your hand out to touch his, the action causing his eyes to follow your movements, clearly not anticipating it.

“I’m so sorry”

For a brief moment, you actually thought you saw genuine emotion in his eyes at your words. You understood the pain of losing a father young and in such a cruel way.

“He was the beginning of my work, it was poorly executed, but it was what gave me my inspiration, to send a message in the most profound way possible and I’ve nearly done it”

Noah raised his hand to your face and ran his fingers over your cheek gently.

“The thing is angel, we are the same me and you, you get me, you’re the only person on my level. You’re just like me”

Your brows scrunched together as you took in his words, in some ways, you knew he was right but the other part of you knew you shouldn’t listen.

“You know I’m right, even if you try to deny it”

You subconsciously leaned your head into his hand as you mulled over his words. You both had gone through terrible things in life, no one really understood you, especially at work. Noah always believed in you, he knew you could do the job better than most.

Looking up you noticed he had his shirt unbuttoned and his tattoo across his neck was on full display, it was then when you truly noticed the religious symbolism.

Without thinking you brought your hand up to his skin and traced the ink with your fingers, hearing his breath catch slightly as you did.

“Easy angel”

You looked back up into his eyes to see they had dilated, your fingers rested on the side of his neck, your stomach twisted in knots. You didn’t even really know what you were feeling as it was all mixed up together in your mind.

Noah leant his down to you and pressed his lips against yours, he was gentle at first but when you didn’t immediately pull away, his other hand wrapped around the back of your neck and he pulled your body against his.

“Wrong, wrong, so very wrong!”

Noah pulled away, his hands still holding onto you as he stared down at you.

“I shouldn’t be doing this”

Noah smiled at yours words and started to stroke your hair before he pressed one more kiss onto your lips.

“Says who? I am starving, you’re starving. I can taste it on you. Who says this is wrong?”

You continued to gaze up at him, your mind in complete overdrive.

“I…I can help you Noah”

“I really wish you could angel”

And with that Noah turned and walked out of the room, the locking sound ringing in your ears.

[avaetin]

Percy Jackson Keychain Giveaway - AKM Edition

Hi! As per the title, I am going to giveaway PJO keychains - AKM Edition (which is the AU I created). I'm sharing it now because I want it to reach as many interested parties as possible. I will keep this pinned on my account as well. There will be a total of 15 designs (9 solo and 6 pairs), 5 keychains each, for a total of 75 keychains (total 75 winners). Below is a list of all the characters/pairs:

Nico

Aeon/Chronos

Alabaster

Hazel *

Reyna *

Percy

Jason

Erebus *

Ananke *

Nico & Aeon

Nico & Alabaster

Nico & Hazel *

Nico & Reyna *

Nico & Percy

Nico & Jason

* Remaining designs to be posted in the future, closer to the date.

A special and many thanks to @nyankocatnyan for all the awesome designs so far! Please check them out if you want to commission from them!

Why are you doing a giveaway? I always wanted PJO keychains, but there is a MOQ when you want this stuff made. I have no intention of selling/profiting, hence this giveaway. Also, I suppose, it's just sharing some positivity to everyone else.

How do I qualify? 1) Not a bot, 2) PJO fan, and 3) Tumblr account (for contact). You don't even need to be following me or be my mutual.

How do I enter? You need to fill up one of the forms (either solo chibi form or pair chibi form) that will be made available on August 27, 2024, 11pm SGT. Here is the timing for other zones:

The forms will be active from August 27 - September 3. It will be closed on September 3, 3024 at 11pm SGT. You don't need to rush to fill up the forms. This is NOT "First come, first serve." Please read the forms carefully, and make sure you submit the correct details.

You can only fill up one form (chibi form or pair form). Make sure you fill up the correct one as I will only consider your 1st submission (unless the one you really want has low demand, then I will consider).

4. How will I know if I won? I will post the results here on Tumblr on September 8, 2024, at 11pm SGT and tag said winners. From September 8 - 15, I will be sending the winners a link to a new google form for them to fill up for the delivery details of the keychain they won. (Please make sure I can message your inbox/messages.)

5. What if I won but don't respond to your message? You're essentially giving up your keychain to another person. The above period is fixed. One week is enough time to respond.

6. Do I have to pay for anything? Unless you are opting for fast delivery and/or tracked delivery, then no. I'm covering the shipping costs.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm not liable if package is lost if 1) You give wrong address after I confirm it with you. 2) Other reasons outside of my control. If the package gets returned to me, I will attempt to send it a second time. But if it still gets returned a 3rd time, I will give it to someone else.

7. When will it reach me? Kindly refer to the "Ordinary Mail- Air". Please note, however, that this is just an estimate. It will ultimately depend on your country's postal services.

8. I'm iffy about giving out my name and address. How can I trust you? I have to give my name and address for the return address in case the keychain doesn't get delivered. That's my trust to 75 of you. It's up to you if you wish to trust me back. I can only say that I will delete the forms once all the keychains are sent out, since there is no further use for them.

9. Will you have another batch of these keychains in the future? Nope. This is the one and only time. Which is why if you want one, I encourage you to participate.

10. What do you want in return? I want to joke something about firstborn here, but I guess it might not be appropriate LOL! Umm, nothing significant. All I want, and this is optional, is when you do receive, to share with me - or with everyone else via post - that you received the keychain. That's it.

BONUS: I'm pretty sure there was a post about a Luke keychain... 👀

That will be a separate post lol! Maybe around September/October. I'm still working out if I just want Luke and Ethan, or if I want one with Luke, Ethan and Alabaster. Something like that.

-----

Giveaway Timeline:

August 6, 2024: Posting about the giveaway

August 27, 2024: Official post with the google forms for interested individuals to fill up

September 3, 2024: Forms will be closed

September 4-7, 2024: Checking of accounts

September 8, 2024: Eligible participants' account names will be placed on the "Wheel of Names" to get the names of the lucky winners. Results to be posted as well

September 8-15, 2024: Contact winning accounts to confirm delivery details

mid-September - November 2024: Sending out of the keychains*

* Delivery might be split into two parts. It depends on the keychain production and, er, budget.

The forms will have terms & conditions (most already stated here), and hence would answer most questions you will probably have. But, if you have questions you wish to address now, feel free to send an ask. (Please don't spam my messages, thank you.)

P.S. Please be kind to anyone you're interacting with in this post.

[badaziraphaletakes]

We've got a wriggly one

Love a good "Ooh I'm probably going to make myself unpopular here" at the opening of an offensive post. We're off to a very good start.

If you have to preface your take with four paragraphs of disclaimers explaining how not-ableist you are, then I Have Got Some News For You

"Before you accuse me of being ableist"... I have literally never heard this phrase not followed immediately by a giant ableism, and this is no exception

"I'm not." That's not how this works. It's something we all have to fight against every day. No one is just "not ableist". We all have ableist biases that we need to work hard to be aware of and keep in check. If you think you're just "not ableist", period, end of story, that's concerning in itself.

Disabled people can literally still be ableist (and saying otherwise is in itself ableist). We’re all products of an ableist society, so we all have structural internalized ableism inside us. Just because you are not aware that you’re doing it doesn’t mean it’s not happening. It can be unconscious. It very often is.

"I've been a disability advocate for years, so I'm entitled to tell other Disabled people how to feel about their own representation" quit weaponizing your Disabled identity to oppress other Disabled people, also, I can already tell I literally never want this person as my advocate, ever

7. The Autistics never, ever need or want alltistics to speak on our behalf, so if you're not Autistic then you are most welcome to shut absolutely and completely up at your earliest convenience

8. “This is as close as I can come to being gentle"... I have an alternative theory, which is that OP could, in fact, manage to be gentle if they really tried. For example, I do not have to be scathing right now in this reply. I am doing it because that is a choice I have actively made.

9. "I say things that people misunderstand" is never a defense. Most of the time, it's victim-blaming. And by the way, if this isn't a defense for Autistic people (spoiler alert: it's definitely not), then it sure as hell isn't a defense for alltistics.

10. "This isn't meant to invalidate people's opinions" *Spends the whole post invalidating people's opinions*

11. "Unless the book specifically says x, y, or z, you're not allowed to... say that something is ableist" umm wow

12. If Autistic people say a character (a character written by an Autistic author, no less) is Autistic-coded, then yelling "no they're not" at us is a very concerning thing for someone to be doing. To anyone doing this, just think about a. Why you feel the need to talk over Autistic people about that and b. why it bothers you to have people say that character is Autistic. Seriously, take some time and think about it. And also - if you can't see how Aziraphale is Autistic-coded - how did you miss that lol? Also also - how is thinking a character isn't Autistic your "personal experience" of that character that you feel the need to cling to? ...That gives me the ick.

13. Calling someone out for doing something ableist is not "name-calling".

14. "If someone read one of my [books?]..." I'm assuming this sentence ends "I wouldn't want people deciding one of my characters was x, y, or z". Well, guess what? - If it's a book you're finished with, then it's out of your hands what people do with it now. And if everyone from the autism community is saying your character is Autistic-coded, then guess what? Congratulations, you inadvertently (or, I suspect, advertently in NG's case ^^) wrote an Autistic-coded character! Seriously, take some time to read about what "coded" means and how characters are coded as Autistic. We're not saying Azi and the Starmaker are literally, conically Autistic. We're saying they're Autistic coded. And we’re saying he has autistic traits that autistic people identify with, and calling him selfish or cruel or lacking empathy or emotionally unintelligent (just a few of the common autism stereotypes that people have flung at Aziraphale) or things like that BECAUSE OF THOSE TRAITS is ableist.

When Aziraphale struggles socially and people call him selfish or stupid because of it, how am I (someonewho struggles socially every damn day) supposed to take that?

IN CONCLUSION: In trying to tell marginalized communities why we're wrong to think certain takes are offensive, people invariably end up just saying a bunch more offensive things - and in doing so, prove exactly the point we were trying to make in the first place.

[suzukiblu]

the song Animal Spirits by Vulfpeck reminds me of your fic “kidnapping your soulmate for fun and profit” haha! Not sure why, just vibes I guess :)

“A pleasure to meet you, Tim,” Dubbilex says, tone mostly neutral but still polite. “My name is Dubbilex.” 

“Nice to meet you too, Dubbilex,” Tim says like someone who definitely didn't already know that. He puts on Smiling Civilian Face #11: “Meet the Parents” Edition. It is . . . not actually one he's really had to use before. Like, not even with Ariana or–and actually also it’s probably not the right face to be using either, really, but Dubbilex is the closest thing to a not-an-asshole adult in Superboy’s life and he doesn’t want to be an asshole to him. 

Unless he turns out to be one after all, in which case all bets are off. But only then, obviously.

[silentcryracha]

❍ ‗ Jealousy Headcanons (SKZ)‗ ❍

Pairings : Stray Kids x gn reader

Genre/warnings : Mentions of jealousy, might get a little toxic, sprinkles on fluff because we love a happy ending, not nsfw but it's suggestive in a few bits.

Summary : How, why and when the Stray Kids get jealous. Not a ranking.

Word count : 2.8k

A/n : None. As always, of course, this is just silly writing. Don't take it seriously :)

ps: There could be errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎

Masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Chan ‗ ❍

I feel like Chan would generally be quite chill, simply because he's someone who doesn't like to hang out with toxic people, therefore would try to avoid issues from the start.

But while with some other members, fo example, the reason would be their good/non conflicting nature (which it is, for sure), I low-key think that in Chan's case could be because he's actually quite aware that when he gets mad/ annoyed with something, he's not gonna let it go easily.

He also wants to focus as much as possible on the positive and wholesome aspects of a relationship, but could unfortunately, when the time comes to have an argument, may be showing his worst self. Someone that he also hates and would like to keep locked away.

These situations wouldn't come up in relation to jealousy though, unless the relationship itself was toxic. In that case he'd either end things pretty quickly or spend a lot of time being upset and arguing, depending on how strong your bond is by that time. In the second case I think things would end up either very coldly or very messily.

Again, I feel like though he might get insecure at times, his reasons wouldn't be tied to any other person except himself.

He doesn't give a fuck about random people's opinions, but he cares about yours. Which is why feeling like he isn't doing his absolute best for you would be the worst.

For example, if a coworker or a friend was kind enough to make you a surprise/gift/bring you food to cheer you up, he'd feel upset that he didn't think about it first.

He'd start overthinking and doubting himself, maybe beating himself up over the fact that you haven't been on many dates lately or he's been too caught up in work.

He'd also probably go quiet because he feels bad,but you would catch up quickly and eventually reassure him and work things out.

If you did happen to get a little jealous (a normal amount I guess?) he would make sure to talk it out and understand what made you upset. Communication is fundamental and he knows it, even though sometimes he can't deliver quite well as he would like. He would always end up apologizing, though.

Now, about the kinky part, I do think that he would be into being a little possessive. Mostly because he's just so in love and attracted to you that the thought of other people even thinking of 'getting a piece' would drive him mad. Don't worry, he's gonna let it all out and remind you exactly who gets to make you feel good.

If you did that to him, he would find it extremely hot and amusing. He likes the fact that you're as desperate for him as he is for you, and would be more than willing to let you prove it to him however you wanted.

Minho ‗ ❍

Minho is quite similar to Seungmin I think, but with a sprinkle of Chan in the middle. He probably wouldn't stand a toxic partner, but I feel like he'd be more into it kink wise.

He seems like a pretty confident person, but overall I think that his own security would come from the fact that he wouldn't be with you if he didn't fully trusted you and respected you from the start.

I could see him getting a little possessive when he saw/felt other people being obvious with eyeing you or flirting. It would be more a question of pride than anything, though.

'Yeah, you like what you see? I fucking bet, too bad it's mine' or some shit like that. He'd really get off on you also being into it. I'd say that he would find it amusing when someone tried to flirt with you, because he knew you are his and would never betray him. He'd almost find it funny to see the disappointment on their faces.

He'd also appreciate you making some similar remarks, but accuse him of actually cheating or betraying you in some way and you lost him. You should know better, you should know HIM better.

He can play around a lot but when things get serious or too much into the emotional aspect then he'll take it very seriously, too.

Again, he wouldn't be with someone that he doesn't 100% trust or that wouldn't trust him, so it would come as an unwelcomed surprise and probably have a big fight over it before he dumps your ass.

Absolutely no time to waste on problematic behavior, especially within a relationship that should be his safe place. It would also leave him quite hurt and overthink it a lot, even if he wasn't in the wrong.

Changbin ‗ ❍

This man doesn't have a single bad bone in his body. That's why he would absolutely despise stuff like jealousy, but he is human too and sometimes humans do get a little into their heads.

His jealousy would come from either lack of attention (in his regards) or 'too much' attention (from other people to you). For Changbin it would never be THAT serious regardless, truly. He's a little silly so could very well just be jealous, mostly in a humorous way, of you for example petting and praising a dog.

He'd pout and go like 'What about me :(' and make you shower him with kisses and attention. That's truly the most he'd go in terms of being jealous of someone or something. He just really wants you to himself, okay?

When other people seem to be giving you 'too much attention' (which realistically is never, unless it's unwanted), it means that he just wishes that he did it first or more often. For example, if a friend bought you a specific thing that you've been wanting for a long time. He'd be really happy to see you happy, but low-key wished that he was the one who gave it to you, instead.

Overall unless it's something that could directly impact you in any way, he doesn't care. If a dude at the bar was being an asshole he wouldn't get jealous, he'd straight up fight (for you).

If you got jealous of him though, depending on the situations and the dynamic of your relationship I think that he'd either find it kinda cute that you wanted him for yourself (and make sure to shower you with attention). On the other hand, if the jealousy came from a more problematic mindset, he simply wouldn't put up with it and would be quite annoyed that you even implied about infidelity.

I feel like the whole 'You're mine' thing could potentially be a turn on in the bedroom but to a limited extent. He seems like the kind of guy that would lean into the more wholesome aspect of the relationship and avoid problematic feelings, even if it's just to mess around in private.

Hyunjin ‗ ❍

The thing about Hyunjin, is that he's a hopeless romantic. This is both a blessing and a curse, I think.

One one hand, you would expect him to have quite high standards for both himself and his partner, meaning that if he decides to be with someone they 100% have to have a similar mindset.

Between all the art, music, poetry, cinema and such, I feel like he would spend a lot of times just thinking and fantasizing about the things that he has seen/read/heard, and would probably end up creating a whole new idea of love in his mind.

Which, again, could be a blessing because the chances of him purposefully hurting you or cheating are very low. But, at the same time, would maybe end up reading too much into things or situations and end up disappointed/upset, even when he doesn't have reason to be.

He essentially could very well take a grain of salt and make it into a whole ocean. He'd also be pretty easy to fix things with I think, because he seems very direct. He's either the type to blurt out everything at once or be so overdramatically upset that you couldn't help but ask what was wrong.

Hyunjin wouldn't stand toxic or overly possessive behavior, I think. He'd end up having a big argument and break up pretty quickly if the relationship was fresh, but could try to 'gaslight' himself into thinking that it's just because you love him too much, until everything inevitably goes to hell (and you'd have a messy breakup). Would 100% cry for days on end and let it out through art (all kinds).

I have to admit though, that I don't think that he would be completely against a little jealousy. Again, he's a romantic (a little delulu, if you will) and would probably like a bit of the angst/teasing that comes with possessiveness/jealousy.

Would 100% do some movie-like stuff like come up to you and kiss you passionately in front of a person that was flirting/eyeing you up and down a little too much, just to prove the point.

Would also probably enjoy you doing the same (still a normal amount, I mean). This applies to the bedroom too, for sure. The words 'I'm yours/you're mine' are probably in a whole special chapter of his personal romance mind-book.

Jisung ‗ ❍

Yes, he would get jealous. To an extent. He's very sweet and likes to have fun and play around a lot, which is why I feel like this wouldn't show as much if he was in a healthy relationship, maybe with someone who is calmer than him.

In that case I think that the occasional jealousy would come mainly from him wanting to be the very best version of himself for you, and seeing you interact with people that seem to be able to give you something 'better than him', would upset him.

He would definitely bottle it up and either wait until you notice or explode in a random moment of vulnerability. He'd feel so bad afterwards. Why would it be you fault if he was not being enough for you?

I also feel like these intrusive thoughts and overthinking would never fully go away, but he'd try to tell himself to at least trust you and the loving words that you tell him. He tells himself that if you're still with him, there must be something that he's doing right at the end of the day.

If he happened to be caught up with a more jealous/obsessive person though, it would get SO messy. He can be a hot head sometimes, or so we've heard, so of course if you put two hot heads together what do you get? A big mess.

I feel like sometimes him being so much in his own head could make him seriously question his actions, especially if someone else is pointing them out to him.

I think that an obsessive behavior from a partner would be an absolute deal breaker, but unfortunately it'd depend on how deep he is into the relationship.

If you were at the early stages, then he'd have a way clearer mind to end things. But if maybe this had been going on for a while or he was truly into you, it would be a lot harder for him to deal with it in a healthy way. You would end up arguing A LOT and probably be toxic as hell with each other.

That being said, I think that he wouldn't necessarily have a thing/kinks related to this type of behaviors, but angry/make up sex would 100% be a thing. In that case, I'd expect him to go a little crazy with it.

Felix ‗ ❍

Felix seems to have a similar vibe to Jeongin, I think. He'd try as much as possible to avoid any type of uncomfortable/bad dynamics in a relationship.

For this to happen, though, he would have to be with someone that matches his vibe and that he could trust completely.

I don't think that there are things or situations that could get him actually jealous per se, but he could be feeling a little insecure in very random moments.

Like a casual comment on another person that you may find attractive and doesn't share some of his personality traits or features. Or maybe not as much as he'd like, which means that he'll think that's also what you would like, so he'd feel like he's not enough.

He would tend to get a little into his own head in these situations, which means that it would be up to you to actually understand if something was wrong. He'd eventually talk it out and forget pretty quickly about whatever the problem was, with the right amount of praise and affection.

I think Felix would be really turned off with a partner that would get overly jealous or possessive, especially if unjustified. BUT, I wouldn't rule out him actually being a little into it either.

For example if he was getting his make up or hair done and you'd say something like 'I wish that was my job' or something similar to tease him. I feel like he would find it amusing and genuinely boost his confidence, since of course he loves you and wants you to want him, too.

Could see him play around with it in the bedroom a little, especially to tease you. Careful or he might start purring if you'd go with something along the lines of 'The prettiest boy, and it's mine'

Seungmin ‗ ❍

He seems to be a quite cynical person. And can be a little insecure at times. Put these together, and you'll have a pretty emotionally unavailable man (sometimes).

The two things that could get Seungmin jealous are self doubt and possessiveness. He's someone who will love with all his heart, but that could scare him sometimes.

He would almost be afraid of loving too much and feeding into a 'delusion' (hence all the 'I don't believe in forever' stuff), that if broken, would absolutely crush him. He'd mostly blame/get mad at himself for allowing his heart to take over his mind.

He'd probably be quite afraid of not being enough > get embarrassed and mad at himself > shut you out because he's way too much in his own head. It would take some cooling off and some overthinking before he'd eventually even listen to you.

He's also someone who values actions way more than words, and this particular mindset would be useful whenever he's feeling a little jealous or possessive. It wouldn't be that easy to get him riled up, and he'd also probably not really act on it either. He gives off a petty/cold shoulder type of vibe more than an outburst.

Any type of jealousy would eventually be born from his own insecurity, not from him not trusting you. These situations would be fixed pretty quickly as soon as you'd manage to get him out of his head, whether it is from some sort of verbal reassurance or a physical action.

For example a hand hold at the right moment, including him in conversations, a random word of praise, a sweet phrase. On the other hand, this jealousy could very well be taken out in the bedroom too, I think. Would kinda get off on the whole 'I'm yours/you're mine' thing.

In general unless if you were are a pretty obsessive person yourself, he wouldn't give you reasons to get jealous. He seems pretty shy and quite careful with getting too comfortable, especially with strangers. He'd probably reflect on himself and eventually either work it out or be a deal breaker to him.

Jeongin ‗ ❍

Jeongin also seems like a person that wouldn't like the idea of jealousy or in general to deal with negative feelings.

He can get insecure sometimes but I feel like he'd end up making the problem about himself and wouldn't get 'triggered' by jealousy in regards of another person.

The only times in which he could get slightly annoyed is seeing you have fun with someone else that isn't him simply because he wants to be the one to make you happy all the time.

Jeongin really does look like the kind of guy who is just chill. If there aren't any issues within your relationship, he's not gonna be the first to make them. I also think that he wouldn't overthink on these type of things. If he decides to be with you in the first place it means that he trusts you and you probably have a similar mindset.

That's why I think that if you ever ended up being jealous over him, it would come as a surprise and not necessarily a good one. Of course it's different if you're joking, but he still wouldn't put up with it for long. I truly just feel like he hates the concept.

If he was the accused one, at first he'd try to talk it out and understand what made you react like that, and eventually apologize to make sure that he never does it again. But if your accusations came out to be meaningless and it was you being obsessive, he'd probably end the whole relationship. Straight up.

It doesn't feel like a possession/possessive kink would be a thing in the bedroom, either. Not denying nor thinking too much on a dom/sub type of dynamic at all, I just think that remarkings like 'I'm yours/you're mine' type of thing wouldn't be his cup of tea.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[writing-for-life]

Give me your head-canons:

How do you solve the Orpheus problem?

[And as always: Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!]

As in: It’s the elephant in the room in so many canon-compliant or -adjacent fanfics I read (we obviously don’t need to talk about coffee shop AUs) and Orpheus either keeps on existing somehow (and no one cares, because Dream and whatever love interest just literally fuck off into the sunset and pretend everything’s okay), or he gets killed by someone else who quite strictly wouldn’t be able to kill him.

Is it a solvable problem?

If he keeps existing as a severed head, it’s honestly a bit shite for him, isn’t it? So these are the fics where we keep on visiting severed heads. I don’t know, I find that… dissatisfying.

If Dream kills him, it’s over. Unless he stays in the Dreaming and lets the storm blow over. Will it though? I mean yeah, he could sit there for all eternity (groan), not take Death’s hand and make sure he doesn’t conveniently leave so the Kindly Ones get in and start ripping the Dreaming to shreds. But that doesn’t really sound like a solution to me either, because the problem won’t go away. Also: Probably no meetings in the waking world with you-know-who ever again. Plot hole, people, it doesn’t work that way.

If someone else kills him: Who? Please don’t say Hob, I know he’s immortal (so was Murphy), but the very idea is that no one can kill the poor kid because he made a deal with Death, which she apparently can’t revoke. Is there an entity who could? Which links in to the question: Why could Dream (somewhat rhetorical question)? Could any similar entity do it if they also had to grant him a boon? But don’t forget: Can’t be one of the Endless, they’re all family. Unless one sacrifices themselves. I mean, I think I’ve seen Death doing that in a fic somewhere, I think the assumption was she’s okay with dying a mortal death, but I also felt that’s not quite right, since it’s just not the same (also: in her mortal form, she wouldn’t have those powers). Does it have to be The Presence/Glory? Why would they care?

Yeah, he could use the Saeculum I guess, but really? If the problem never existed, it would also feel… wrong? Plus, we all know that changing the past always has implications on the future that go far beyond the thing we want to change. Plus plus: I honestly think it would be a bit OOC for him because he’d feel there’s not enough at stake (like a whole universe imploding) to ever justify that. So no, that’s, IMHO, making him into someone he really isn’t (can of course be an option in fanfic I guess).

Same goes for the Dream of a Thousand Cats Spiel. Someone who is so wrapped up in his duty just wouldn’t do that for his own personal gain, and not even for one loved one (he also wouldn’t be allowed to kick it off by telling anyone, and what 1,000 dreamers would dream that? I mean, WE all would, but that’s a bit… meta?😂). I said what I said.

Or is it some sort of magic? Like, he’s still a severed head, but we make him *think* he isn’t, give him back a body (in his own mind, or maybe even for real)? But that’s also… not great and feels like gaslighting him. Really not keen.

So what say you?

Is this just a case of: Unsolvable problem, hence we might as well pretend we solve it in some ridiculous way or pretend it doesn’t exist in the first place?

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 15 thoughts

i’m comfy. i’m cozy. i’m sat. i had a nice relaxing day. i am prepped for this.

(author's note: juni was, in fact, NOT prepared for this episode)

so, reading the episode description here: ANOTHER sunken ww2 craft??? they deal with these A LOT. they need to get an archaeologist on the phone, because they seem to just attract these sorts of things. and you don’t really find them everyday. unless you’re special.

(actually, it turned out to be the same one as before- or at least related to the first one. but my point stands. they are dealing with more war wreckage than you would expect)

we see a boat. they’re speaking french!! why did they call it “deux zéro point huit” instead of “vingt”? okay guess i don’t know a lot of stuff… but i like that a lot better than how the french usually use numbers, because then you could say 1998 a LOT easier… une neuf neuf huit… how easy these things COULD be… alas!

they’re diving!!!! this fellow- gauthier- has a very funny looking scuba suit. it’s bright yellow and very stiff. mobility is probably not ideal. oh, it’s getting darker and darker as he goes deeeep into the water. 

they’re detecting radiation from where he's going in? seems worrisome. but it’s the pacific ocean, so who knows what is in there? plenty of nuclear waste, i'm sure.

everyone is very excited to hear that gauthier thinks he found “one from the squadron”. what this squadron is, we do not know. but then they hear a thumping noise and lose contact with the diver. 

someone is inside the ship??? someone with very black inky eyes?? damn... mermaids are real?? AND scary?

the diver gauthier comes back up to the surface and says he became disoriented. hmm. that gaze is suspicious… and HIS eyes go inky black too!!

what did y’all do to my boy gauthier...

(cheering loudly as gillian anderson’s name is on the screen during the intro)

fbi time. scully reading a case and walking. she is a pro at reading and not walking into things. a skill that comes with great practice.

skinner opens the door and asks to see her!!! he asks his secretary to leave. oooo, whatever he has to say, it's going to be juicy. 

he says a memo came across his desk last night. and it concerns her. AND HER SISTER!!! 5 months in and there have been no leads in her murder investigation. they want to make it inactive and she has a LOT to say with just her face and the words “i see”. she looks both furious and hurt.

but he’s going to appeal it!!! awww nice skinner. and go over the evidence again himself, just in case someone missed something.

NOOOO, i yell out in sadness, as scully stops herself before leaving, visibly upset. she goes on a monologue about how the fbi can seemingly solve any crime but not this one, and there are tears in her eyes and there are tears in MY eyes. but for some reason they can’t figure out this one, even though it took place in a well-lit building and the murderer left the weapon at the crime scene!!! skinner tries to say it’s not about interest, but she says it is, just not hers or his. NOOOO STOP... MY POOR GIRL.

(tbh i’m glad they are addressing melissa's death again, because they haven’t really talked about it since. and i know with the monster of the week episodes you don’t get a ton of time to process these things, but it was HER SISTER. there is no way she could just jump right back into work without some severe emotional trauma. i think in some ways the episode format can do that disservice to their characters, introduce a Very Important Plot Point and then not talk about it again for the in-world equivalent of 5 months during which they act as if everything is fine)

skinner looks really sad too :( noooo, skinner

she goes to mulder’s office and denies that anything is wrong (he can obviously tell that things are wrong) also he’s wearing a different color suit today which is interesting. 

today's mystery: he says a ship from france came into port in san diego yesterday, and he tracked its course. it was at the same place they had earlier found the thing she thinks is a russian sub, and he thinks a ufo!!

she looks really upset to hear this :( i think she just doesn’t wanna deal with ufo drama when her sister’s murder is unsolved. and can you blame her?

but anyway, the whole crew from that french expedition is being treated for radiation burns, so he can’t just ask them what is down there

she laughs and says that she is amazed by him (!!!) working down in the basement. she says they’re afraid of his relentlessness. he seems offended that she says they could drop him in the desert and he’d ask for a shovel if the truth was out there, but then he smiles and says that he wants her to come along on to san diego. and he looks like this :D and gives her a plane ticket.

it was very cute. if only they could harness his boundless energy into looking at melissa's case...

scully my darling, look at me. tell him that you are feeling sad because your sister’s murder is being ignored. use your words. LOOK AT ME. tell him how you feel. it’s a long flight. you have time. thank you. 

at san diego, the men from the ship are very much burned up. they can’t figure out how to treat them because the french government is hiding everything.

she goes into doctor mode. the doctor at the hospital seems shocked to hear that she is a doctor, but... get used to it? anyway, their symptoms are nearly as bad as the hiroshima victims.

and one man had no symptoms, but he discharged himself this morning. it was gauthier! the man in the yellow scuba suit with the inky eyes!

damn, his house is nice. if it’s his house. seems to be, since he’s on the picture on the wall. but he walks past the ringing phone like he has never seen a ringing phone before. 

the agents are rolling up to the ship, where a bunch of people are in hazmat suits, investigating, guarded by soldiers. spooky...

so the guy who is leading this investigation says they found absolutely nothing, and they can go on board. which i would be suspicious of. but mulder lacks self-preservation instincts which has been established and he will go into the boat of evil. 

investigating a boat! with a big flashlight! i still don’t like boats. too cramped. way too cramped. mulder finds the big yellow scuba suit. and some sort of inky substance on the helmet… while scary music plays. 

scully is looking at a map that says “zeus faber” and i have some ideas on what that means but they could be way off... like deus pater? the vedic god? same roots at zeus?

(insert shane and ryans's "i've connected the two dots" "you didn't connect shit" here because really i was onto nothing)

mulder is searching for the VCR to watch the dive video. oooo he finds it!

and scully takes one look at the mysterious object and announces that it is “a north american p-51 mustang” and i feel my heart skip a few beats. 

WELL SO DID MULDER’S??? because he announces to the class that he just got very turned on. BAD! BAD! SPRAYING YOU WITH WATER like a NAUGHTY CAT!! not in front of this random guy!! we say such things in PRIVATE and not to the besties!

(actually i'm so lying because that does sound like something i would say to a bestie... but NOT in front of some random guy. i have couth. i only flirt with the girls when no one else is around. and i was sensing no irony from him, which is slipped into my flirting with friends. we differ, mulder and i)

um. brushing past that.

she used to watch her dad and brothers build model ww2 planes as a kid :,) and that’s why she can recite these facts. it’s just a fighter, wouldn’t have been carrying anything interesting. cool fact time with scully is my favorite time of day!

back to our french king gauthier. he’s searching for something. a woman hugs him and he doesn’t say a word. just looks at her all weird. she’s scared and runs away. but he GRABS her and his eyes go black!!! then she steps out and HER eyes go black!!!! what is going on? and is this thing spreading and also why. 

scully goes to see a friend of her father’s, named johansen. there are kids in the road. children, please do not play in front of cars, it’s dangerous. scully does not need a vehicular manslaughter charge at the moment due to your prancing about.

scully’s looking at the kids and remembering her sister and tearing up which is very sad but. she drives on.

mulder at gauthier’s house. no one is answering. careful; you know he will just walk into your house. and he does! he finds the scattered papers allllll over. pretty music is playing. he finds a letter talking about salvage and pockets it. then hears a noise??

and finds an inky gauthier on the ground. who says he doesn’t know what happened. he's freaked out because he doesn’t remember anything beyond the boat, and also his wife is gone. and he won’t answer any questions about the letter from the “salvage broker” (idk what that means but it sounds sus as hell)

OH! scully is at the house of her dad’s friend johansen, and she tells him how she used to live there!!! he doesn’t remember her, but also he is very old so this is understandable. he doesn’t seem to recall anything from her list of clues, but he says that the number on the plane isn’t from a p-51. so what’s the truth.

she goes to leave, and he says to say hi to her father, but she has to tell him he passed away NOOOOOO :(((( but before she leaves she talks about the games she used to play out in the lawn. and asks him to say hi to his son for her. will there be a childhood friendship reunion...?

gauthier’s wife is looking for stuff. in the office of the salvage broker! so she must work with her husband on her shady business deals... she hides things before mulder comes in. 

BUT NO!!! she has a gun under her desk, and it’s aimed at him!! nothing happens though, she just takes his business card. and we learn her name is geraldine.

mulder is sitting outside the salvage broker’s office. lurking about. and all of a sudden a bunch of cars come rolling up!! talking loudly in french and running in!! he watches. geraldine leaves in a hurry, and he goes to tail her. 

WHAT IS SHE HIDING!

scully’s trying to leave, but the soldiers that guard the entrance tell her she is being detained!!! huh? on what charges?

her dad’s friend johansen gets in the car. he says that his son was killed in the gulf war. and that “we bury our dead alive... they talk to us, they haunt us, they beg us for meaning. conscience, it’s just the voices of the dead, trying to save us from our own damnation" <- woah, banger line, unexpectedly profound from this old man. but, noooo sad man who has endured so much loss... :( banger line but at what cost?

he knows something about that plane that sunk. because he was sent to find it! in a sub called the zeus faber!

geraldine is in the airport. where is she going. hong kong?

anyway, scully calls mulder and shares her findings: she says that plane they're on a quest to find had been carrying an atomic bomb, but it never reached its target. and it doesn’t make sense fully to him or her really- like, why would the guy who was closest to the bomb be the only one who doesn't have radiation burns? but mulder has to go to hong kong sooooo. um. okay. 

back in D.C., skinner is waiting at a restaurant whilst some angry looking men approach him. they’re asking about people “obeying his orders”

OH! they’re threatening him to make scully’s sister’s case inactive. because those above him have worked hard to reach that decision. covering up for the antics of cig man and the worsties, i see... nasty nasty nasty!

so scully’s talking to johansen again, who is saying that his squadron back in the day also had burns, and almost everyone had died except for him. they found the sunken squadron and then the burns started. but despite most people in the sub being in the process of dying, the captain wouldn’t leave the area to surface and get help!

the men started fighting, realizing they were going to die, and a gunshot made the japanese aware of their presence. so johansen went against the captain’s orders and took them to the surface. he locked the burned men in with the captain, knowing their fate.

but the captain had the inky eyes!!!! so i guess that is why he didn't want to surface...?

only 7 on that boat of 144 lived, and johansen struggles with the guilt from that. and no one ever explained what actually happened. damn, that's a heavy burden to bear.

hong kong time. eating some tasty looking food. geraldine is here. mulder sits next to her and point blank accuses her of selling government secrets. he's always been a bit bold.

he says he’s gonna arrest her, and she says um you can’t have guns here. so he handcuffs her TO HIMSELF. WILD MOVE! and leads them to an office in the back. for their salvage broker dealership!!!

KRYCEK IS HERE???? MY BELOATHED…

mulder tells him to shoot himself in the head like he shot his father. DAMN! please do not pull any punches with this freak

someone shoots geraldine, who gets shoved behind a door still handcuffed to mulder, and then krycek leaves out a window.

(i think i’ve been spelling his name wrong in the past but hear me out: he’s lucky i call him anything beyond “the rat bastard”)

mulder is still handcuffed to the now shot woman while a hit squad approaches. but he is simply too fast for these fools!!! he freed himself and jumped out the window. 

okay... what. i looked down to type that, and geraldine somehow came back. unharmed. flashed a bright white light. and left all of the evil frenchmen who were chasing mulder with burns. huh.

that escalated.

back to skinner. who wants his coffee. and a blue plate. which refers to a special, and not an actual color of plate. the more you know! the waitress takes his order.

but someone is harassing her about the payphone not working! he gets up to intervene. a gentleman.

AND THIS DUDE SHOOTS HIM???

HELLO????? RIGHT IN THE GUT????

scully back at her place. as soon as she walks in the phone rings. NO!! she learns skinner was shot and she’s on her way to the hospital.

back to hong kong. krycek is trying to get out through the airport. but mulder catches him at a payphone and starts beating the hell out of him. MULDER TAKES A GUN OUT and is about TO SHOOT HIM IN THE STOMACH and he says “this is for my father” but then krycek is like “i didn’t do it” bitch boy i SAW you there. in his shower. 

he claims that if mulder lets him go, he’ll give him a tape with government secrets that he had been selling. mulder says absolutely not, go get yourself cleaned up and bring me there youself, you have three minutes or i’ll come in and kill you. WHEW! he is not messing around. he has been sentenced to the bathroom to wipe his own blood off of his face.

but who rolls up…. but geraldine!!!! who walks into the men’s room. and chokes him. AND KRYCEK'S EYES GO ALL INKY!!!

TO BE CONTINUED??? WHAT!!!!

why does this keep happening!!! the cliffhangers of it all!!!

okay, i’m not REALLY complaining, because the multipart episodes are usually the best ones, and they address the overall plot. but you THINK you’re going in for a nice relaxing evening and bam, krycek comes back, and now he’s got an alien infection. and maybe he too can glow and leave people with burns, and is being led right back to the place where our beloved agents call home. the power of a nuke, stored in one evil rat guy! what could go wrong???!?!?!? /s

and skinner was shot in the stomach! by a guy that seems to have no connection to all of this. but i doubt it.

(screams for about 45 seconds straight)

okay. SO. we got a lot here. we got french people, possession, angry mulder, dead fathers, nuclear aliens, krycek back, geraldine the undying, the sale of government secrets, hong kong, and scully angst. 

now, i am naturally drawn to the scully angst. to the memories of her childhood, to her grappling with the loss of her sister, how something is holding them up from the investigation, and whatever it is that wants to keep her from knowing the truth is willing to kill skinner about it. and somehow krycek is connected, because we SAW him do the killing, but we never learned WHY he did that whole betrayal thing beyond it just seems like something he does.

and krycek. i guess i figured he would come back at some point, but man, i feel even more revulsion at his current state now that he has ditched his pretty boy aesthetic for something that is more akin to a guy who started smoking cigarettes and listening to vinyls to make women think he's suffering deeply in an artistic fashion, but really he's just shallow, has no thoughts of his own, and is speedrunning cancer.

what the hell was he doing in hong kong? how is he getting access to these government secrets if he went AWOL?

ugh. i hate him. love to see an angry mulder, though.

skinner... in the past, we have had our disagreements. and though i have called you a bitch before, you have proved yourself, and your care for the agents. this is NOT what i wanted to see happen to you, and i am worried for your future, and the effects another loss will have on scully. so please consider recovering quickly for the sake of everyone else. the FBI will fall to the ranks of such freaks as cig man and his greasy pet rat-snake hybrid krycek if you don't stand guard.

man. i have a lot of thoughts. unfortunately though, i just went back and checked all my notes for typos that i'm sure i failed to catch entirely, and now i'm stuck on mulder's announcement that he was turned on again. we really do have to ask ourselves: why is he that way? i shudder at the thought. spraying him with more water.

would you say that to your male colleagues, mulder? please let me know. because i actually kind of think you would. which doesn't really make you understand the whole concept of gender-based workplace harassment that thought exercise usually provokes.

there is a TIME and a PLACE for hitting on the homies. do that shit off the clock. freak!!!

anyway. let scully have peace. let her not worry about more early deaths related to conspiracies. let her do more dog bathing and ice cream eating and internet research on various animal species. and let her tell us about planes <3 i hope everything gets solved and everyone is happy and mulder and scully and skinner eat ice cream sundaes together in the next episode <3

[maochira]

Idk if this has been done before but reader who is insecure because people used to call them a monster when they were younger because of being taller than most people

Maybe Reo, Kenyu, Kaiser, and Bachira?

(Also from that line up of characters try to guess who I am hehe)

Chaos, this you?👀

Requests open! - masterlist

Tags: gn!tall!reader, can be seen as romantic or platonic, fluff

Reo

-he used to point out your height a lot without knowing you're insecure about it. He never said anything negative about it, but when he found out about your insecurity he felt so sorry and guilty

-he apologized a lot and kept reassuring you that being tall is nothing to be insecure about. He made a very big deal out of it but in a positive way so he can help you feel better about yourself

-he makes others shut up immediately as soon as they mention your height. Doesn't matter if they want to say something positive or negative, Reo won't let them say anything

Yukimiya

-he knows you're insecure about your height because of your past, so he makes sure to never point it out unless you start talking about it first

-and when the topic does come up, he first listens to anything you say in case you need to vent, then he starts bombarding you with compliments about why it's so cool that you're taller than everyone else

-one time he took you along to a modelling thing specifically for tall people, and it that was what started making you feel more comfortable with your height!!

Kaiser

-let's be honest. He was one of those people who called you monster when you were younger. But he's sorry now, okay?

-he actually doesn't remember doing that because you didn't see each other in years, then became friends again. When you mentioned how he used to bully you, Kaiser didn't believe you at first

-then he started remembering more and more and started feeling sorry because you're so close to him now and he can't believe he's partly at fault for one of your insecurities

-he never really stops apologizing about it (which is surprising because when does Kaiser ever apologize to someone?)

Bachira

-he calls you his big monster but in the most affectionate way possible so you don't feel bad about your past anymore. He usually adds another word to it like "big pretty/handsome monster" or "big cuddly monster"

-he teases you about your height occasionally but always in a way that genuinely makes you laugh and doesn't trigger your insecurities!!

-since the way Bachira talks about your height is completely different from what you've always experienced, he helps you a lot with being less insecure about yourself

Taglist (sign-up link): @astruosie @kaineedstherapy12 @zyuuuu @yerinsshi @luvcalico @remy-roll @truegoist @rienniey @acacIa @kermitslefteyeball11 @futuristicxie @bluelock4life @blueberrryui @takorirei @https-archangel @ririgards @kaiserkisser @userwithlotsoftime @nikokii @chaosinanutshell @thedaisy78 @kalinkavx @vanitasbrainrot @rrueyuo @weichspuelertrinker @yueyingwrld @yuehailin @keiidaydreams @sagejin @depressed-bitchy-demon @yellowelectroslime @quite-eerie @midnightymel @rzu @deerangle3 @slowlyholypeanut

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Im real nervous main tagging this because ive said my main peace and i dont wanna clog the tag up, but i will say after some context given i have a couple more thoughts?

tw// SA, r//pe mention, etc.

This will be a controversial statement. Me personally, i dont really honestly care? About what he said? It was eight years ago and he hasnt repeated the actions so i dont honestly and truly care what he did eight years ago, he was 19 then hes like 26 now theres honestly and truly a BIG maturity distance between 19 and 26, but also it was. Eight years ago? Thats all i have to say on that?

I Also dont really care for how it was brought to light, from what ive heard from pt speakers the expose was done by someone whos publicly anti towards the Brazilian CCs and ive heard they've dug up some dumb things about pac that werent "hot" enough to get trending i guess and definitely werent condemnable enough to get him cancelled, so it's honestly and truly in my heart something i see as being done in bad faith.

Alongside this, ive seen translation screenshots from one of the "victims" (not sure her stance on being called this so its in quotes) stating she does NOT want to be aligned with these allegations and has changed her username and profile picture because she honestly doesnt wanna be involved and doesnt want it being spread around, this is something else i view as bad faith and if anyone was affected by this then its the best thing to do as they wish, this not only affects the person being called out but also their victim negatively, especially if the victims profile is easily attached to their real life and especially when the victim is a female victim of assault or rape or anything like that, i hate to say it but as an afab person ive seen it firsthand that thats honestly the culture surrounding assault victims, and most people dont want that being brought up or put out in the public. Im a victim myself - people view you differently, it affects platonic and romantic relationships, it affects jobs, you are actively hurting the victim by spreading this if they dont want you to do so and arent prepared for that to be spread around.

From what ive seen, some people are condemning Forever for getting a lawyer - i dont view this as him being automatically guilty. I view this as him getting a lawyer because this person on twitter has been actively harassing not just him but all the brazilian CCs on the QSMP. This is harassment, the case against them will hold up in court and Forever has said he will speak about this more when everything is said and done

Alongside this, i will say im unhappy with Forever specifically for his statement on the situation. It wasnt handled the way we wouldve liked it, but it also wasnt handled via ukelele, it wasnt handled the worst way it could've been. Ive heard pt speakers say it was kind of formal, there was some slang in there but overall i've read the translated statement and to me it sounds more like a legal statement than anything - he mentioned having a lawyer, chances are the lawyer helped him write it. To me it doesnt sound like anything he'd fully say which is why i was so put off by it at first but this makes more sense to me honestly, i dont know if anyone would agree with this.

TL;DR

All in all, i think its a shitty situation but nothing to condemn Forever over. I ask people be thoughtful regarding the girl affected, and dont spread shit around with her name or profile attached to it unless she states otherwise. It was handled badly on Forever's end and blew up WAY too fast on twitter.

I've generally seen people be well behaved on here, ive seen some strong statements but otherwise i like to think we're better than twitter.

This probably wont be my last post on this as we get more on the situation over the next couple days, but this is my main thoughts right now. I'm still choosing to remain neutral, but more mixed than anything.

[1-800-c0sm1c]

꒰win it all !꒱

to build hype around the new season, your arrival to the games was kept a secret up until it went live, and some legends had more notable reactions than others.

character x legend!reader

includes crypto, octane, and mirage !

a/n : im sorry ive been gone but look i made you some contenttttt daddy made you your favorite open wide 🥳. im noticing a severe lack of apex fanfics rn so here is my contribution 🤲.

warnings : mentions of stalking (average crypto behavior), drugs (average octane behavior), & mentions of hooking up (you guessed it, average mirage behavior).

CRYPTO // TAEJOON PARK: 

crypto doesnt like surprises, period. its one thing if its mediocre like a birthday party, but a whole person was hidden under his nose and he had no idea? unacceptable.

in summary, youve shattered his ego simply from your presence. not cool.

hes not really known for looking approachable either, so unless youve got the balls or stupidity to talk to him, hell keep to himself and sulk. this sets back any plans he had in the back of his mind by a whole season.

when you introduce yourself to him on the dropship he practically ignores you, acting as if anything else is more interesting than this small talk.

"hi im y/n, ive heard a lot about you from mirage. nice to meet you!" he rolls his eyes, witt is always one to blabber about others.

you scoff at his response, "dont expect me to be as open and idiotic as elliott." he almost adds you to that list, but holds back on it. if anything lifeline has told him holds weight, you could be useful to get information from the syndicate.

"im crypto by the way." he continues, if he plays his cards right you could almost be worth his time.

getting paired with you and mirage was almost comical, its as if the games were trying to make his life as hard as possible.

you got along annoyingly well with mirage, but you seemed more hesitant when it came to crypto, which was truly bothered him. (it was not jealousy at all. he was not jealous whatsoever. nope, definitely not.)

hes struggling to interact with you, like he does with most of the other legends, but youre a different case due to how useful you could be to him. thats usually the reasoning he uses when he racks his brain for ideas to come across less mean without irreparably ruining his reputation.

as if his prayers had been answered, a few hours after your first game you appear in the doorway to his room with a piece of high tech equipment in your hand. but your expression is different from how it was before. you appear upset, how can you be angry with him already? youve barely interacted!

if you want to be pissy, so can he. "can i help you? he asks, annoyance in his voice. "im almost sure you can, brilliant hacker." you drop the equipment in front of him on his desk, distracting him from his current project. he scowls. "what exactly am i looking at here?" you roll your eyes. "you tell me, this is clearly yours right? found it in my room." 

he examines the object, looks like a hidden camera. "ive never seen this before, if you want me to fix it call someone else, im not tech support." he pushes it to the side, but youre not having it. "nuh-uh, you cant brush this off. i know youve created the cameras used to record the games, this has to be your tech!"

so you think hes stalking you? thats a good idea honestly, he wish he had thought of it first. "just because i created those doesnt mean i also designed this. looks like someone else wants to keep an eye on you. got anyone in mind?" you pause for a moment, letting his words sink in. why cant it just be an open and shut case?

"i have no idea, i just got here! is anyone else even knowledgeable enough to design something like this?" he shrugs. "looks can be deceiving." "will you at least help me figure out whos stalking me?" he wants to say no. he knows its bad news, especially for someone like him to get involved in. but its a great opportunity to get closer to you. closer to his end goal, and despite it truly not being the only reason, he decides its good enough for him. "i guess i can make time, tell me about your interactions since youve joined." 

from this point on, you and crypto get much closer, it feels like he knows everything about you. (maybe he does honestly 💀.)

but you can tell hes getting frustrated when it comes to the hidden camera, and you cant help but feel like a nuisance. 

on the surface, crypto looks like you are whats stressing him out. why hes angrier than usual, why hes drowning himself in his work. and in a way thats true, but not exactly.

in reality, hes more worried for your safety. your arrival was an entire surprise, so how could someone have infiltrated your room to begin with? he cant figure it out, and almost entirely forgets the original reason he wanted to get to know you. 

its no longer a matter of getting information, that can wait. he has all season after all. but someone else trying to watch you? he wont tolerate it, and wants it to be the first thing thats fixed, he likes you much better when youre not paranoid, not like him.

OCTANE // OCTAVIO SILVA:

HYPED!!! another legend is always exciting to octane, even more so when he gets lucky enough to be paired with them.

octavio can be a bit much at times, but you match his energy almost perfectly! 

dedication to the apex games, and genuinely having a great time, not finding him annoying??? he should ask if youre into hard drugs too at this point.

anyone who goes up against the two of you on a team together should fear for their lives. octane swears hes never had so much fun in a match before. (almost as much fun as id have if kings canyon was in the map rotation this season ☹.)

theres a voice in the back of his head that he cant shake, telling him youre someone sent from the syndicate to mess with him, or maybe something worse.

he doesnt want to risk making you upset with him (like some other legends) so he reluctantly keeps these thoughts to himself, but due to his online personality being so similar to his real self, you almost immediately notice a change.

you decide to confront octane after the match, and originally he completely disregards your questions.

"what are you on about, compadre? im fine, really!" but youre not having it, and octane knows youre not going to drop this so easily.

"i just cant help but think this isnt how you usually act outside of games." you shrug when he asks for your reasoning of pressing on. "well how would you know? you just got here." he chuckles. "which i think is exactly why youre hiding things from me. i understand though, its hard to trust someone you just met. i only had an outsiders perspective up until a few hours ago."

"thats exactly whats so scary about you amigo. you seem like youre some fuckin syndicate spy!" "why? because we get along?" octane sighs. maybe having a legend who understands him is a bad thing. its easier to justify someone who hates him, theres plenty reason to. but like him? enjoy his company? hes confused, to say the least.

hes frantically reaching for one of his stims, if his mind is going to be racing so frantically, the rest of his body might as well do the same. "lets leave this here for now, yeah? ive got some videos to film!" he gets up quickly, but stops dead in his tracks when you offer to help him with his stunts. he whips around back over to you. "you sure?" you nod with a smile that might make him more energetic than any stim could. "alright cmon cmon cmon! i hope you known how to hold a camera, if you miss any good shots im gonna be pissed!"

rumors start about octanes elusive camera operator, all kinds of misinformation spreads too, some of it crazier than others. 

you personally find it funny, sometimes tempting the viewers by almost flipping it around to show your face, but youre stopped by octane and his ridiculously fast reflexes everytime.

"hey hey amigo no need to ruin the mystery! plus you totally just didnt film that awesome stunt i just did! what am i paying you for!?" 

you try your best to stop yourself from laughing, but at this point youre sure it must be obvious its you behind the camera, youre just going along with the "mystery" because octane asked you to by whispering in your ear that it "increases his interaction" or whatever influencer bullshit. (you were more focused on his voice than what he was saying tbh 🧍.)

the other legends are sick of you two at this point, and are just about ready to expose the "secret" to get octane to shut up 😭. when i say you guys are always together doing stupid shit i mean ALWAYS!!

MIRAGE // ELLIOTT WITT:

a flirt wbk. expect to be invited to lots of yacht parties.

mirage is known to have a very welcoming aura, and you noticed this the second you first interacted on the dropship. (anyone wanna take me out? come find me 🤭.)

you guys are on the same team for tdm, and he is almost constantly by your side.

someone sneaks up behind you? hes already sending a decoy their way so you can get the upper hand.

in case you miss? no worries, hes right behind you with pinpoint accuracy. (talk about a great first impression.)

you guys absolutely crushed the opposite team 50-15, and mirage hurriedly rushes over to you the second the match is concluded to invite you to his celebration party that night.

youre more surprised he has the energy to still keep going after such an intensive match, and you barely get the chance to say maybe before hes walking away excitedly.

uh, actually i might sit this one out-" "cool, cool, cool. ill see you tonight!"

lets just say things get… interesting on the mirage a trois 😀.)

you hooked up on the boat okay, youre not the first (and might not be the last either.)

parties werent necessarily your thing, but after elliott had practically won the game for you today, you figured showing up was the least you could do to return the favor. you were honestly just hoping the yacht didnt blow up like youd heard about his other ones doing…

you arrive way later than everyone else in hopes that you arent the first person there, but your current situation is almost just as awkward as everyone assumes you managed to get lost on your way here. (as if you could miss mirages yacht if you tried…) however, you probably did look just as lost as everyone assumed you were while trying to find mirage in the sea of decoys and other party guests.

when you finally stop getting bamboozled and find the real mirage, you try to explain you were only stopping by out of politeness, but hes not having any of it. "what do you mean youre leaving already? weve gotta make up for all the partying time lost while you werent here!" he hands you a drink and leads you to a table with crypto and wattson, who seem to have just had an… important conversation interrupted with your presence.

"if theres anyone you wanna get to know in the games, other than me of course, these are the legends!" youre almost amazed at how mirage chooses to ignore the awkward atmosphere hes created, and manages to smooth it over in record time as well. crypto looks as annoyed as ever, meanwhile wattson attempts her best at a conversation with the group, and you almost wish you never showed up in the first place.

‘almost’ is the key word here, you knew deep down you didnt really have anywhere else to be, and going along with whatever such an attractive legend says was surely better than staying in your dorm room and missing out on a night of fun. which is exactly why when elliott leaned closer to your ear and said something that definitely wasnt pg-friendly, you downed your drink and made quick goodbyes to his friends before leaving to a secluded area of the yacht with the party host himself. 

i think by now the other legends are just waiting for you two to finally announce theres something between you. 

everyone, and i mean everyone seems to know, and i swear rampart is one more flirtatious comment away from exposing your corny asses during the next match.

however, youre hesitant. youre still incredibly new to the games, isnt it odd for things to be moving so fast?

sure, elliott is great, but you cant help but have an anxious feeling in your stomach, and making the mistake of looking at comments online surely isnt helping either.

mirage noticed your shift in behavior immediately, hes been around you more than any of the other legends, and he expects to be the first to hear of whats troubling you (if youre okay with it, of course).

he might not seem like it at first glance, but mirage really is a great listener. despite your first impressions of him making him out to be well… a party-loving flirt, he has so many more layers to him than whats on the surface level.

when he gets serious, hes not cracking his usual jokes, although hes still got his awkward charm. 

"i just… feel like were moving too fast. its only been a month since ive joined the game after all…"

he thinks for a moment before responding calmly, "well i mean, if you wanna take things slower, all you had to do was ask. besides we have all the time in the world! as long as you dont have some secret plan to leave the games or something, than were fine!" you smile at him.

okay, maybe he does still joke a little bit, put i promise its fine in context 😭😭.

can you tell i like crypto (especially jealous crypto) a totally normal amount 😦 totally not inspired by the mcc song by derivakat 🫶

[roses-for-rosalyn]

Try Me

Dealer! Ellie blurb 💅

This was just in my head and I couldn't get it out. It's the first fic I have ever posted so be nice please! Obviously about tlou2 Ellie. Sort of a one shot sort of not.

part 2

not proof read!!

word count: 1.4k

Minors DNI 🔞 pls!

warnings: no use of y/n, drug!use 🍃, dealer!ellie, fem! reader, pet names, dom! ellie sort of, modern au, a lot of swearing (duh), mentions of toys!, no smut (yet hehe)

┕━━━━━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━━━

Here you are again in front of the rust colored door you know all too well. Theres paint chipping in various places and three gold numbers reading "400". The numbers are tarnished with age and you stare at them while you think over the decisions that brought you here.

You are at your dealer's apartment, Ellie's apartment, not the usual meeting place for you to get your fix but god you were desperate. It had been a rough week for reasons you would absolutely not like to dwell on and you needed a sort of reprieve. On any other day you could have waited for Ellie to come to you. She usually drives over to your apartment and hands the prerolls off to you, but you were anxious and she said she wouldn't be able to drop it off until way later, unless you came to her. So here you are, probably for the third or fourth time this month. After you take a moment to reflect on your sad desperation you knock. Once, Twice.

The Door opens slowly to reveal Ellie in her usual battered skinny jeans, tank top, and flannel. You are confused as to why she has so much clothing on because it was hot as all hell. She must have a circulation problem or something if she can wear all of that in this heat. You’re in a pair of flannel pajama shorts and a t-shirt and even you’re sweating a little. Well, it could be nerves.

“Hi” you finally sqeak out.

“Hey” she replies looking you up and down. No doubt judging your rumpled state.

Ellie intimidates the shit out of you. She’s incredibly attractive and she can be very flirty which tends to catch you off guard. You usually just brush it off with a laugh and then lay awake at night wondering if she really meant it. You’re 90% sure she is messing with you because why would someone as beautiful as Ellie want anything to do with you. Like be for real.

Ellie breaks your train of thought.

“You just gonna stand there staring at me, or are you gonna come in?” You let out an awkward laugh and respond “yea sorry. Long day.”

“Me too. ’m fucking exhausted.” This surprises you a little and you wonder why she even acknowledged your text if that was the case. She could have told you tomorrow or even next week and you would have understood. It’s happened before.

She walks deeper into the apartment and you follow her in through a small hallway. There’s a kitchenette on the left with a fluorescent light over the sink and a small living space with an ancient couch and a TV. There’s a few lamps scattered around casting a soft warm light in the apartment. On the right is a doorway leading to what you would guess is her bedroom, though you’re not absolutely sure you’ve never been through there. Ellie walks through said doorway and disappears.

After you process your surroundings you realize why Ellie was wearing long sleeves and long pants: It was cold as fuck. Apparently Ellie likes living inside a fucking refrigerator. Jesus. You cross your arms in front of your chest and shiver a little. You picture the rest of your night: getting home, smoking, and using your vibrator until you fall asleep.

Ellie walks out of the room with a little ziploc bag of prerolls and stops just a little too far away. She hands the bag out to you so you have to walk towards her to try and grab it. She pulls it away and you look at her with what must be a confused look.

“If you stay here and smoke one of these with me I’ll give the rest to you for free” she says with a wicked smile.

“Sounds like a solid deal to me.” You smile back. You two weren’t really what you would consider friends, but you were friendly enough. You had watched movies and smoked with her in the past. She was nice to you, sometimes gave you free weed, and as an added bonus she was hot. You could use her company anyways.

“Beats doing the same thing at home alone I guess.” You add.

“You guess?”

“I mean yea..” you respond, wary of your word choice.

“I’m a fucking pleasure to be around of course you would rather be around me. Plus you’re pretty fun to play with. I like making you flustered.”

You make a sound that sort of resembles an “mhm” but it comes out so high pitched it’s almost a whine.

Ellie’s laughs “see what I mean.” she pauses, studying you intensely, you almost have to look away before she says “come on let’s watch a movie or something.”

You make your way over to the couch following Ellie's lead. When you sit down you immediately sink into the couch. The thing has to be at least 30 years old, but it was so comfortable. You turn to look at Ellie and she’s sitting with her legs open, her body leaned over with her elbows resting on her thighs. She grabs the joint from the coffee table and you watch her light up the joint and take the first hit. You watch the smoke escape from her lips and almost sigh.

"Aww you gonna make sure that shit isn't laced? just for me?" you say semi-jokingly. Although it's happened to you before (obviously not supplied by Ellie). Not fun.

"anything for you princess." she shoots back. Your cheeks grow pink at the nickname and you pray she can't tell in this dim lighting. Your eyes wander down to her bicep watching the muscles flex as she puts the joint to her lips. Shit you were staring, you quickly switch your gaze to study the small coffee table. There's a few empty soda cans and a half eaten bag of chips. You wonder if she had already smoked a little before this. Ellie hands you the preroll and you take a hit. You inhale deeply trying to get as much into your lungs as possible.

As you exhale you ask "You invite all your customers to smoke with you?" You've been curious for a while now because it seemed like a peculiar gesture for a dealer.

"Only the pretty ones." She looks at you with a smirk. You have no idea how to respond so you let out a sort of huff that was meant to be a laugh.

Ellie turns on some animated movie for entertainment. As you pass the joint back and fourth you feel the effects start to kick in. An unexplained smile tugs at your lips and a calmness makes it's way through your whole body.

You're not sure how much time has gone by, but you have both managed to finish the first joint. You look over at Ellie watching the glow of the TV bounce off her features. You trace your eyes down her face and stop for a moment at her lips and then down to her neck. You observe the way her thighs are spread open.

Nope. Nope, nope. Shit. You have to cross your legs as thoughts of Ellie invade your mind. Whatever you smoked had you wayy hornier than usual. It's fine you just need to make your way back home.

"I should make my way back home." you blurt out. Ellie looks at you confused.

"We literally just finished off the preroll and you already want to leave me?" she asks with a joking tone. "In all seriousness you are way to high to leave right now. Can you wait like 45 minutes for me pretty girl? That way I can get you home safe myself." Oh god another nickname.

"I think I can make my way back trust me. I know the way back home so well I'd have to be on a lot more drugs to forget." You insist. You would like nothing more right now than to go home and make yourself cum with your vibrator until you fall asleep.

"Is there something you need princess? I can probably get it for you here."

"I really don't think you can get me what I need." you are desperately trying to get her to let you leave. Why does she care about your well being so much?

"try me." she challenges.

You attempt to take a moment to try and think about your options here, but thinking is futile in your state of mind.

"I am extraordinarily horny and I would like to go home and remedy that with my vibrator." You admit, hoping it freaks her out enough to let you leave.

Ellie smirks and looks you directly in the eyes before saying:

"I can definitely help you with that here."

[superbattrash]

Superbat: Safe Flight

Alternative title: another bridal carry fic, how original

Hi, this is for that sweet anon, who wanted more angry bridal carry Bruce. Enjoy! <3

“Don’t,” Bruce mutters.

“I didn’t say anything,” Clark says, despite his entire frame shaking with suppressed laughter.

“I can feel you laughing.”

“It’s not my fault you’re so close,” Clark singsongs as he tightens his arms. He’s enjoying his win way too much.

“Then carry me some other way,” Bruce demands. He squirms around in Clark’s arms but there’s no way for him to move around much in this position.

“I thought we concluded this was the most efficient way to carry you,” Clark says and he’s doing that thing with his eyes where you know he’s being earnest and truthful and Bruce wants him to drop him so he can fall to his death.

Bruce harrumphs which is enough to let Clark know he’s won. At least it’s usually enough to have him end the conversation, but not today, of course not. Why make it any easier on Bruce than he absolutely has to? Clark needs to take things just a little further.

“At least I covered you with my cape,” he says helpfully.

Like that’s any comfort.

“Why you do that, I have no idea,” Bruce mutters. It’s not like Clark has to wrap people in his cape. Bruce doesn’t do that whenever he saves someone. There are other ways to make sure people are kept safe. Shields for example or any other type of weapon or gear. Or in this particular case Clark could simply fly backwards.

“It’s to protect you from the wind,” Clark explains like Bruce isn’t already aware of this fact.

“I have my own cape, Kal,” he says, because he has to say something. He knows he’s just being difficult, but he isn’t happy with this situation, not at all. There’s a reason he usually says no to Clark.

“Well, mine is prettier.” Bruce let’s out another grunt and Clark grins like he just won a particularly amazing contest. “Red looks really good on you.”

“Shut up,” Bruce mumbles and crosses his arms tighter over his chest. There’s no need for it – he’s wrapped in Clark’s cape after all – but the movement makes him feel better. He’s physically telling Clark this isn’t alright with him which is the entire point.

He should’ve said no. He should’ve insisted, actually, but he doesn’t have the batwing nearby and he still hasn’t installed any type of wings into his suit. It’s an error he’ll rectify as soon as he’s home; there’s no way he’s letting Clark carry him home like this ever again.

It’s not even like he can blame Clark; Bruce did sort of willingly let him carry him home. Usually, he’d never approve such a humiliating scenario unless extremely necessary to his own survival but today’s different. Today he’s late for an event and even if he could magically find a way to the gala and get his hands on a proper suit, he’s soaking wet. Aquaman better handle the rest of the flooding or Bruce will be so pissed. He nearly drowned! There’s no way he’s going to let Arthur live that down. Stupid unreliable water-powers.

Either way Bruce has accepted a ride from Clark, and they did agree that this was the least humiliating way for them to travel. Now that he’s squished up against Clark’s chest Bruce is starting to second-guess their decision though. Clark’s heart is steady, his chest broad and warm and Bruce is terrifyingly aware of how easy it would be to settle against him and doze off. He blames this week’s lack of sleep for his thoughts.

“It’s still a long way home,” Clark comments like he’s been reading Bruce’s mind. “You can relax, you know?”

“I am relaxed.”

“My neck hurts just looking at you,” he tries. It’s a semi-successful strategy; Bruce is much more inquired to listen if it’s about someone else’s discomfort. Not today though.

“Look away then,” he says and turns his head away. Just because he’s stuck against Clark’s chest doesn’t mean he has to look at his face. His very attractive, very close face. God, if he didn’t have such extreme control over every single physical reaction of his body, he might’ve done something stupid. Like press his cheek against Clark’s shoulder. Or tilt his head up enough that he could reach Clark’s lips with his own and- nope, not going there. Lack of sleep is horrible for the brain, Bruce’s even more so.

“Bruce,” Clark says and there’s a scolding tone to his voice. It’s his ‘I wish you would just listen to me, it’s for your own good’ voice. He uses it more with Bruce than anyone else on the team.

“What.” Bruce still doesn’t look at him. There is a good chance he’ll feel those pesky butterflies in his stomach if he looks into Clark’s eyes right now. He’s not a teenager, this isn’t a silly crush. There’s no reason for butterflies, yet he still hasn’t found a way to get rid of them. In fact, they only seem to increase the more time he spends with Clark. Which is a lot. They are teammates, after all.

“We’re several hundred feet in the air,” Clark points out. He’s stopped trying to catch Bruce’s eyes at least.

“I’m aware,” Bruce says.

“There’s nobody else around,” Clark continues.

“I know.”

“I’m holding you in my arms,” he says, and Bruce wants to roll out of said arms and fall all those hundred feet just so he doesn’t have to be a part of this conversation. It’s almost like Clark is trying to get Bruce to confess. All that’s left is candles and soft music and it’d be as perfect as it gets.

“Yes,” he says instead of voicing any of his panic.

“The least you could do is try to enjoy it,” Clark says.

See that’s the problem right there. It would be way too easy to enjoy this, to get used to it. To accept Clark’s offer once or twice and then suddenly every other time he asks. Soon Bruce will start expecting Clark to fly him home and then he’ll start to offer Clark a cup of coffee before he leaves. Clark will be too polite to refuse, and Bruce will get used to his company. Will crave it and miss it. Miss him.

There is absolutely no reason for Bruce to kickstart the process his feelings are already doing their very best to never let him forget.

“Enjoy being suspended in the air?” In your strong arms, so close to you that I can feel the heat of your body, the strong beat of your heart. “Sure thing, Kal. I’ll get right on that.”

“You don’t have to put up a front, Bruce,” Clark sighs. “I know you’re exhausted. I can feel it in your entire body.”

“Don’t do that,” Bruce says gruffly.

“Do what?”

“Don’t… read me.” It makes it seem like you care about me. “It’s creepy.”

“I’m sorry,” Clark says quietly. “I’m just worried about you.”

“I’m fine.” He really is. Or at least he will be, as soon as he’s back on the ground on his own two feet.

He’s been getting more and more obsessed with these thoughts of Clark recently and he knows it’s only a matter of time before he says or does something stupid. Confessing is out of the question – there’s no way he’ll ever risk losing Clark’s friendship because of some foolish feelings – and it’s not like he can actually decide when he sees Clark. They work together, they’re the founders of the League. They have a responsibility to the team and each other. Not even the minimal possibility of Clark not rejecting him is worth jeopardizing that.

There are a few moments of silence before Bruce realizes that Clark hasn’t said anything back. He doesn’t usually give up this easily, but perhaps they’re both a little off today. He dares a glance towards Clark’s face and ignores the soaring of wings in his stomach. Clark is looking straight ahead, his mouth set in a tight line.

Oh. He’s upset.

Rightfully so if Bruce is really honest with himself. He’s being carried several hundred miles home – superstrength or not, Clark is carrying his full weight and flying slow enough that the wind won’t hurt Bruce at all. He’s wrapped Bruce in his cape, he’s trying to take care of him in his own way.

And Bruce… Bruce is too caught up in his own stupid feelings to make even the smallest of efforts. If he wasn’t well in his thirties, he might’ve just ignored it and pretended not to notice (youth is a strong, although shitty, excuse), but this is Clark. Sweet, caring Clark, who would move literal mountains for Bruce if he asked.

Bruce squirms around some more; he really can’t move around well when he’s burrito’ed into Clark’s cape. He wiggles his shoulders around so much that Clark stops in the middle of the sky.

“Are you uncomfortable?” he asks, because of course he does. He can’t ever not be nice and caring. Which is probably why Bruce likes him so much.

“No,” Bruce says softly and decides to hell with it. He flops his face onto Clark’s shoulder and nuzzles at it. He is reminded of Selina’s cats but tries not to think too much of it. “Sorry for being… like that.” It sounds better than ‘an asshole’ but somehow loses some of its strength. It’s better than nothing though.

“You’re like that a lot these days,” Clark says carefully. He starts flying again. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes,” Bruce says and then because he can’t keep pushing everything away: “Just a lot on my mind.”

“You can talk to me; you know that right?”

“You make that abundantly clear.” It’s supposed to come out sharp and a little sarcastic, but instead it just sounds soft and grateful, which… isn’t too bad, Bruce supposes.

“I’m going to keep reminding you though,” Clark says, and Bruce can tell by the movement of his chin that he’s smiling again. Good.

“I know.”

Flying Air Superman is much faster than any other type of transportation and within the hour Clark sets Bruce down on the manor’s grounds, very aware of not being visible from outside the fence surrounding the entire property. Or, well, he tries to set Bruce down. Getting unwrapped from the cape is a little tricky. While Bruce prides himself on being rather elegant in most cases, not even Batman can get unwrapped from a giant piece of fabric while being put on the ground without stumbling a little. Cue Clark’s very capable hands grabbing his elbow and making sure he doesn’t fall flat on his face.

While Bruce is grateful, he’s also acutely aware of how close Clark is. Somehow, it’s worse (better?) than when Bruce was pressed against his chest. This feels much more insistent than simply being in Clark’s arms. Bruce takes a small step back, proving to both himself and Clark that he can indeed stand on his own two legs, contrary to what his little side-step-dancing just showed. He finally untangles himself from Clark’s cape, pushing the fabric off his shoulders before handing it to Clark.

“Red really does suit you,” Clark says fondly before he clasps it onto his shoulders again. It’s a design he’s gotten from Bruce’s cape – very neat to be able to detach the thing in emergencies. Or if you want to wrap your best friend in it.

“Shut up,” Bruce echoes his earlier response, although his words are much less sharp this time around. It’s clear that Clark notices because his smile grows even if he doesn’t say anything.

Bruce looks towards the door. He’s still in the suit but it’s still early evening. He has a few hours to kill before he has patrol. He could go for a cup of tea in the study.

Don’t invite him in, don’t invite him in, don’t offer him a cup of-

“I was going to have a cup of tea,” Bruce says and doesn’t bite his own tongue off, despite his inherent need to do so. “If you’d like one?”

“Oh, yeah, that-” Clark starts and then promptly stops. He tilts his head just slightly to the side, but Bruce knows that look. Has seen it more times than he can count.

“Emergency?” he asks.

“A fire in Australia,” Clark says. He sounds sorry.

“Go,” Bruce says with a flip of his wrist. Clark looks like he wants to say something but then closes his mouth and nods before taking off. Bruce sighs. Better this way; he’s pretty sure his lack of sleep might’ve turned into a lack of brain-to-mouth filter.

He’s still going to sit down for a cup of tea. First, he has to change though. Clark’s cape might have kept him fairly warm but the evening winds of Gotham are unforgiving and he hurries inside.

Later that evening when he’s nestled in his favorite chair with a steaming cup of tea in his hands Bruce gets a text – and he usually doesn’t text with anyone but his kids these days, so he’s surprised to find it’s from Clark.

Would love a cup of tea next time. Are you free tomorrow? :)

Bruce smiles softly and for once doesn’t curse the butterflies in his stomach. It’ll be okay, it’s just a cup of tea. What could happen from a cup of tea?

[feraliminal]

Cross-Faction Diplomacy

Titan TV tries to give Titan Speaker reassurance, but makes things worse. They both use various forms of communication to calm down. Ship-ish, but with plausible deniability.

I’m back from a super busy week and I want to start turning some of my (many) scraps into actual fic! This was inspired by speculation on how the Alliance communicate and think, and an essay on consciousness called “What Is It Like to Be a Bat?” which concludes that you can’t know unless you are one.

—

“Why did you call me? Is that it?” The TVmen’s titan gestured across the hill range from where they stood with the speakermen’s titan, towards a very tiny, very new base. It was a few floodlights casting a glow over a few shipping containers, and a few speakermen on night watch, instead sitting on their arses and playing cards. This was exactly what they’d expected to see, no surveillance system had picked up anything more interesting than a few wandering toilets for miles, at least none that they had access to. But they also suspected it was worth keeping up appearances - two things could be happening, either the speakermen had picked up something big on surveillance that wasn’t linked to the Alliance’s general network -

- or their titan had pulled off a sneaky social call

“Strategic importance, and we’ve only got to make sure nothing happens until everything else arrives in a few hours.” Titan Speaker insisted through a speech transmission, using their faction’s habit of transmitting emotion data as well. In this case, it was something like you trust me, right? “And nothing else is happening.”

The emotion thing, Titan TV found hard to know what to do with. TVs didn’t do it, unless they really meant it. Or were trying to convince someone they really meant it. It was difficult to know if and how to respond, and they recalled Polycephaly describe addressing those kind of differences as cross-faction diplomacy - and as a pain in the arse. They switched to transmission too, encrypting it in case anyone at the base was feeling nosey. “Sure. What’s this really about?”

“Seriously?” Titan Speaker made a dismayed buzz. “You aren’t supposed to say that.”

“What was I supposed to say?” It seemed obvious that this was a way to justify an in-person chat without factions having to figure out a playdate protocol. But with the spectre of cross-faction diplomacy hanging over them, Titan TV tried to do the emotion thing. It didn’t work. Sincerity somehow became contempt-fondness. You’re an idiot but I like you hadn’t been the intent, but it was sincere.

The speakers’ titan tilted their head, lights shimmering a little brighter. “I guess you weren’t supposed to do that either,” they teased. “I thought you’d think meeting to talk is a waste of time, but…?”

“If you need to say it in person, I trust it’s important.” A dozen possibilities, and none particularly easy to contemplate. The TVs’ titan noticed they were shifting their balance a little, foot to foot, and stopped it.

Transmitting uncertain-awkward-worried, Titan Speaker looked out towards the little base, then up at the night sky, as if the words they were looking for were floating around. “Not important, I just… I dunno. I want to ask something first. Does it now feel like there’s more than one… uh, you?” They gestured with their finger, as if drawing an air-circle around the other titan’s primary and secondary screens.

“No, not a lot different. My conscious processing is more or less the same, just spread out and harder to kill.” Not a lot different was still different - the first time they’d switched from automated to conscious control of their secondary heads was an experience they still hadn’t entirely come to terms with and didn’t want to revisit just yet. Not while they needed to be in the here and now for whatever was going on in Titan Speaker’s own head. “Are you thinking about upgrades?”

“No. Well, yeah, maybe one day. But I asked because I’m thinking about weird brain stuff.” Wrapping their arms around themself, the speakers’ titan crouched down on their heels. They started to transmit something, a jumbled, ghostly kind of feeling, then paused. “Okay, I called you to talk about…”

But they didn’t. They stayed silent, on comms and audio.

The TVs’ titan noticed where the pools of light cast by the pair’s respective glowing components overlapped. The new outpost sat in its own pool of light downhill, part of a landscape of similar little points of light that made their mental map of the Alliance’s networks mirror the night sky. In the outpost, the guards were swapping tunes. Twenty miles away, a turret was dealing with one of those wandering toilets, the only other thing remotely interesting happening. Titan Speaker’s glow was receding “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”

Titan Speaker flopped back off their heels into a slumped seated position, and signed ‘No shit.’ Then, when their companion turned their main screen to watch, ‘Sorry, do you understand this? I’ve never seen a TV do it.’

“We understand it, we don’t tend to use it ourselves.” It was one of (many) indicators of how well the speakermen and cameramen had managed to operate as one, and their people hadn’t. “Use it if you need to, I can try too.”

‘Thanks. You don’t have to, it’s dark and my vision’s low resolution, so if you’re not used to sign…’ The speakermen’s titan shrugged, paused again, and with a might-as-well-go-for-it burst, quickly signed, ‘Being able to remember what I did when I was infected is still freaking me out and I want to know what you make of it. I know it’s not the same, but it’s all weird brain stuff and you’re the weird brain stuff faction.’

It was difficult to reconcile the ridiculousness of being called the weird brain stuff faction with the desperation in the request. Titan TV felt their screens flickering and needed to make an effort to hold back whatever might leak into the transmission. “You need to ask your science team.”

‘I don’t mean that, I don’t mean what happened to me, but what happened to me.’ They emphasised the last sign with a sharper movement, and had stopped transmitting emotion. The TVs’ titan supposed it was for similar reasons that they’d chosen not to - this needed straightforward discussion now and a fuckton of firepower later, save the anger for then. ‘They said it wasn’t me, but I was there, the parasite made me do it and I did it, it’s like, now I know I can do that, I can’t trust me not to do it again.’ They paused. ‘I haven’t asked again. I didn’t want to freak them out as well.’

“That was your body, and your body saved data. The intrusive thoughts are probably just subconscious metacognition systems sorting it all out. Really, ask someone, engineers think about this stuff so we don’t have to.”

Titan Speaker shifted to stare straight at their bigger companion, signing more slowly with a perceptible shake in their hands. ‘Me is also what my body does.’

The Alliance had shared (heavily redacted) schematics for the titans across faction borders, so Titan TV knew that what their companion was perceiving. Audio data and electromagnetic signature first, then visual data was a secondary source. But still, they angled their side-screens to illuminate their body and softened all their lights to reduce glare. Even with simulation or data transference, it would be impossible to know what it was really like to inhabit Titan Speaker’s perceptual space, with all its memories, meanings, metacognition. And even if visual data wasn’t that important, considering it was part of how Titan TV showed respect from their own perceptual space. “It won’t happen again. That was not you in any meaningful sense of what you are.”

‘I’m tired of everyone saying that.’ The speakermen’s titan rocked forward to crouch on their heels again, made an intention movement to stand that didn’t go further than a twitch, and clasped their arms around themself. They switched to comms again, and the transmission came out cracked with static. “I thought you, of all people, would get that. Everyone’s telling me it didn’t happen but… I was forced to kill my friends and I just… I just want to be allowed to feel like shit about it.” They let out a distorted audio “Fuck.”

“Fuck.” Titan TV echoed that statement, in reverse.

Neither of them had much to say right after that. There wasn’t really else that could be said. The TVs’ titan watched their companion looking up at the stars, softly illuminating their own little patch of red light. They uncoiled, slightly, from their gargoyle crouch, still hunched but dropping on to their knees.

No longer bothering to keep their slight swaying motion in check, Titan TV offered, “We need to get out of here. There’s a suspected underground lair, you’ll be able to locate it, and we’ll blow the roof off. I don’t have clearance to investigate yet, but two of us will be more than enough to overcome anyone’s concerns about risk.”

The sag in Titan Speaker’s shoulders was unexpected. “No. I’m not outsourcing my shit, not to my engineers and definitely not to everyone else by sneaking off.” But not nearly as unexpected as what they shared when they were the first to use emotive comms again. No anger, just sadness, confusion, and grief. Uncoiling a little more, they signed ‘Stay here. Sit with me.’

It wouldn’t have felt right to say no to this poor creature who’d sooner arrange an awkward clandestine meeting with someone they, really, barely knew than upset their friends. Titan TV shook their primary head with exasperation, and settled down cross-legged on the hillside. Titan Speaker watched, looked away and signed something to themself, then did an ungainly shuffle-flop to move right beside them.

They both took their time to adjust to the dissonance of this whole thing, pinging little status requests and presence acknowledgments at each other until they realised that they no longer needed to and had been enjoying doing it just for the sake of it. The speakermen’s titan trilled their approval and did a tiny wriggle.

“I like watching you move,” Titan TV commented.

‘I like that you moved your screens so I could see you better. Can I lean on you?’

“Yes.” Titan TV’s side-screen was obscured by the smaller titan moving closer and working out how best to arrange their speaker array, finally settling in and gently nudging their head against the screen casing. Making an adjustment themself, the TV leaned in little too. Staying had been the right decision, providing a few stabilising moments for both of them.

When they leaned back, the TVmen’s titan thought they felt something that could have just been an artefact of their movements, but it was a bit too persistent for that. Suspecting what it was, they inclined their primary head against the top of their companion’s array, and there it was - a barely perceptible vibration that was becoming more noticeable until it somehow managed to travel through their body and into the ground under them. It made their vision blur very slightly at the edges, but otherwise didn’t feel unpleasant. “Purring?” they rumbled, purr-like themself.

“You don’t mind it?” There was a new contentment in the speaker titan’s transmission, and the vibrations became a little wobbly. Signing would be tricky in this position, but they were making the most of that by sharing emotive comms freely. “Kind of. I’m just… feeling everything. Grounding myself. No sense of impending doom?”

“That’s oddly specific. Infrasound?” What Titan TV felt as a vibration was likely composed of echolocation and electrolocation and, being too low frequency to be useful for scanning, the infrasound component was probably just there for communication or self-soothing. They found it fun (if a little tragic) to imagine someone, possibly the cameramen’s titan, getting creeped out by an overenthusiastic purr. Cross-faction diplomacy again. “We use it too. Although admittedly not for purring.”

“For…?” Titan Speaker looked up, blinking their lights at their companion, who went ‘ ≽^•⩊•^≼ ‘ and said “Slaughter.”

“Terrifying.” They’d both aimed for a deadpan delivery - but it was interrupted for the better by the speaker titan’s failed attempt to suppress a squeaky giggle.

“You’re terrifying, you see sound and your idea of grounding is making the earth shake.” The TVmen’s titan wondered if speakermen were able to perceive the world as assemblages of vibrating particles. It was one thing to have the knowledge of that, it must be unsettling to really feel it. There was a lot to learn about the other factions, and their titans. “You’re well worth my time. We’re a sample size of three, and should be sharing data.”

With an affectionate hum, Titan Speaker bumped their head against the bigger titan’s chest and released a silent burst of something that interrupted their train of thought as well as their vision, and really did feel as if it had made the earth shake for a split second. A mischievous confirmation of you bet I’m terrifying.

“I’ll find something really strategically important next time.”

[princess-of-the-corner]

Amnesia!Dabi & AtLA Todorokis

My tablet has decided to be finicky, so submitting this all in a big chunk-

1) AtLa Todorokis

(Assuming CC!Canon)

Toya just looking at Princess “I Must Please My Dad And Be The Best!” Azula, and going “oh, you’re in for a bad time.” Somehow, he and Azula end up sparring, and then screaming and sobbing all over each other. 

Fuyumi and Rei being “dismissed” is less “Woman” and more that the Fire Nation is a very militaristic and power centred society, so the demure housewives get ignored. Jokes on them, by the end of the first week Rei has blackmail on every member of Ozai’s cabinet, and Fuyumi has the undying loyalty of most of his staff.

Natsuo is less “God, how primitive” and more “Ok, I get that you don’t have access to the same technology, but here’s how to make a very simple freezer so these medicines last longer”. Also “ok, I’m like … 80% sure that this plant is the same one where I’m from, in which case you should stop using it, and use this one instead, it’s less addictive”. Or, alternately, “Oh, so this plant does all this cool stuff, isn’t addictive, and grows like mad? Neat, how many seeds can I buy?”

Shoto takes one look at Zuko, decides “Ah, yes. This must be another version of me from an alternate reality.” Zuko … doesn’t really know what to do with that, but the kid seems alright, all things considered. Shoto also kind of … smacks Zuko in the face (metaphorically) cause part of the problem is that Zuko is surrounded by politicians and manipulative power-mongers. Everybody keeps talking around problems, or making Zuko second-guess himself, meanwhile Shoto “What Is A Filter?” Todoroki is like, “I get where you’re coming from, but that was a dick move.”

Enji is gritting his teeth the entire time, cause like. They’re in a strange place, they have to play by the rules until they figure out how to get home. But the more time he spends with Ozai, the more he wants to punt this smug bastard into the sun, and he has to keep reminding himself why that might be a bad idea.

Finally, Ozai decides to have Enji assassinated, cause the Fire Spirit and his family are causing all kinds of political problems. Only, of course, it fails pretty spectacularly, and since it involved using Azula as bait, she’s firmly against him now. Somehow, it ends with Zuko, Azula, Ty Lee, Mai, Shoto, Toya, Fuyumi, and Natsuo going on the run, while Enji and Rei team up with an escaping Iroh to wreck havoc and cover their retreat. The group run into the Gaang, and Zuko has to be like “So, firstly, Sorry for all the times I tried to kill you, secondly-”

At some point, Aang uses his “Spirit Medium” powers to try and connect with someone from the MHA world, ends up contacting Fumikage. 

2) Amnesia!Dabi

I think I sent this ask already, but I am becoming increasingly attached to the idea that Amnesia!Dabi as an AU is one where, for whatever reason, escaping AfO is actually not that hard. Like, in order:

Dabi - literally walked out of the sketchy clinic he woke up in. He was coming out of a coma, covered in half-healed burns, and still fighting off some lingering sedation. Took 15 hours before anyone found out he dipped. He proceeded to “evade” AfO for the next 3 years, to the point the guy thought he was dead, and only knew otherwise when Dabi walked into the bar to join the LoV. Finds out Dabi was basically two streets over the whole time.

Himiko (and Dabi again) - during the smack down involved with Katsuki’s Great Escape, AfO somehow misses Dabi covering Kats’ retreat, and then fleeing with an injured Himiko. When they don’t show up again, everyone assumes they got caught or went to ground, and only manage to piece together any kind of idea what happened when a news story breaks about the Togas suing UA over Himiko. Then the news Dabi=Toya, and his memory loss. Given the publicity involved on both Himiko and Dabi, unless AfO wants to really blow the fact that him being in prison doesn’t mean much, he “decides” they aren’t worth it.

Magne - left shortly before the Toya=Dabi story broke, but after the Himiko court case got announced. Just … left. Decided this clearly wasn’t the kind of group she thought it was, told everyone goodbye, good luck, and left. Jin, Compress and Spinner still have her number. AfO is unaware she left at all until sometime after the League joins up with Overhaul.

Jin - managed to escape a facility that was SUPPOSED to be secure, while severely injured from a procedure that stole his Quirk. Managed to escape, get help, and lead a bunch of heroes to said facility, forcing AfO to abandon it. Is now under the protection of both Enji, and U.A., and when the HPSC try to get at him, Nezu “reveals” Jin’s the pioneer patient for a new program about “rehabbing” villains or something. Hero support skyrockets. HPSC support continues to down-swerve.

Compress - Undermines a fairly important operation to nab a powerful Quirk user, saves several heroes and adjacent from losing their Quirks, and even rescue the current holder of OfA. The resulting de-aging, turning Compress from 32 to 16, somehow ends up with “Mr. Compress” being “dead”, as teen him doesn’t remember being an adult! (I mean, my idea is he … kind of does? Like, general impressions, or big moments, he does remember. He knows he WAS an adult, and why he did what he did. But Eri’s Quirk went a little haywire, so for all intents and purposes, Compress is, indeed, 16 now.) Somehow, ends up adopted by Aizawa & Mic, cause Eri sees him as a big brother figure.

Kurogiri - K, so like. Originally, he got nabbed during some big operation, right? However, so much is different here, that AfO is just trying to get these guys to lay low. So, instead - bear with me - Kurogiri gets sighted during an outing for groceries, and during a scuffle, suffers a head injury that abruptly causes him to remember his time as Oboro, and forget/muddle much of his time as Kurogiri. Disoriented, he accidentally portals himself into Aizawa and Mic’s living room. Shenanigans ensue. Tomura and Spinner figure he got caught. However, they decide to tell AfO he straight up died. AfO, for some reason, decides “yeah, that checks out”.

Tomura & Spinner - so, my general idea for this is. AfO has decided that “if you want something done right, do it yourself”, and has used a combination of Overhauls’ Quirk plus some others to reconstruct his own body, and then with Jin’s Quirk, is going to make an army of himself. He also decides he’s going to yoink Tomura’s Quirk, cause Decay is pretty powerful, and then he’ll kill Tomura on live TV, telling the whole story about Nana & Yagi, and OfA, really hammer in the message that he’s awesome and all is lost. While this mostly goes to plan, he also ends up broadcasting Spinner decking him in the face, grabbing the de-Quirked Tenko, and escaping while calling him a “bitchass knock-off Palpatine wannabe motherfucker” on the way out. The boys get an unexpected assist from a nearby Hawks & Miruko, proceed to tell everyone everything they know about AfO’s plans.

Much later, after everything is settled, if this ends the way CC will, it takes a few weeks for Yoichi and AfO to have a proper conversation, because Yoichi just. Can’t stop laughing.

-

Everyone easily leaving AfO is fucking great.

Also yes let Rei get blackmail!!!

[frevandrest]

There had been a number of questionable takes recently regarding the Frev in the past few days that came in succession . Do you reckon if works in the past decades or so that were published in France and were made available to English readers would it may have at least mitigated such thing to ever happen or is the black legend so ingrained that even with the idea of an era where works by Belissa et Al were in circulation in English to people outside France, the result would be the same?

Before I reply, I need to make a disclaimer that I am not the best person to answer this question. I arrive from a very different educational tradition (neither Anglo nor French), and I actually discovered embarrassingly late about the whole black legend and the fact that, among some, the French Revolution was considered a horrible event (that failed). I was taught it was an event that changed the world forever (and helped shape the world today, mostly in a positive sense) and that it has to be studied to understand our world. So I am not the best person to judge the effect of the black legend vs new historiography. If others have more informed takes, please tell us; I am super interested. Now, the bad (as in, incorrect) takes we get here. They happen periodically, and they tend to be very similar, often by people claiming (and I have no reason to doubt them) that they are taking history courses on frev, typically in the USA. So these takes tell me about the state of teaching frev in the USA (Anglo?) sphere. Which is not necessarily the same as "what experts publish in academic articles", because - not sure if people are aware of it, so I need to emphasize - you do not have to be an expert on a topic to teach it at the university level. You typically need a PhD in the discipline, but not necessarily on the topic of the course you teach. I can imagine that they won't give a frev course to someone with a PhD in, say, antiquity, but "early modern period" is good enough, even if you are not an expert on France or the revolution.

Sorry for this preamble; I swear it is related to your question. What I mean is that these specific takes we saw here seem to me (though I could be wrong) not necessarily a product of current English-language academia on frev, but what students are taught. So yes, it is a good question on what kind of books students are given on the mandatory readings list, and if those teaching are even aware of the most current English-language books on the topic (let alone French). I swear most of this stuff is so dated and proven to be incorrect over and over again. We had someone a few months ago saying they read Carlyle for their frev class. ?? This is really strange to me, especially in the North American academia, where even books that are considered new-ish elsewhere, are seen as old, so why teach something published in early 19c? Unless you want to demonstrate changed attitudes about frev and discuss historiography, propaganda, etc. which doesn't seem to be the case. Those assigning such readings are teaching what they feel is true. So I can only guess that they never bothered to read newer stuff. Look. I am all for authors not liking the French Revolution or specific things in it (I am critical of many frev stuff myself), but you have to use current sources that go through earlier misconceptions. We can't still be stuck at "dictator Robespierre who ruled France", a thing that was disproven so long ago and no credible historian believes in (even if they hate Robespierre).

Now, this is about teaching history at the university level and not about experts in academia, because I do think most incorrect takes we get here on tumblr are from students. Experts sticking to the black legend and "horrible horror of the revolution that failed anyway and didn't achieve anything" are a different group. Though I am not an expert on the current historiography to judge it in detail. So, if someone reading this knows more and can explain, please share!