#WE'RE STILL CHILDREN

[daisynik7]

with both my siblings now either married or engaged, I am mentally preparing myself for everyone to start asking me, "when is it your turn? ;)"

[hobbitsetal]

theology of gentle parenting

My mother believes tantrums are inherently sinful, wrong expressions of will. I cannot agree. Not least because Original Sin is an Augustinian notion, but also because I look at my son, losing his little mind because I denied him a fourth treat.

He has no concept of right and wrong. He knows only "want" and "don't have." He experiences disappointment, yet without the grownup capacity to rationalize and accept. He screamed because I took a bath too hot for his little body, and because he was tired and cranky.

Say it is sinful. Say he is doing wrong. Surely grace becomes so much more imperative? He has no concept of right and wrong. He knows only the strong emotions of the moment, and he is distracted in the next by his toys. Or we take a timeout and help him calm, teach him to soothe those emotions.

But why is it sinful? He has these Big Emotions and no words to put them in. Are not emotions from God? Is it sinful to feel disappointed? Or angry? The proverb says "be angry, and do not sin." Is not the anger accepted, then? Are we condemned for emotion?

I cannot accept that. I cannot believe in a God Who forms us a certain way and then damns us for acting as we're formed. I cannot accept such injustice. So I will show my son grace and gentleness. Is that not divine? And even if I am wrong, if it's sin after all, is not forgiveness, compassion, Love the essence of the Divine?

[soracities]

if we should protect children because they are vunerable, this means you would protect cruel children who bullies people who different than them then. the children who responsible to trauma for someone else's entire years

You're assuming that "protecting" children is the same as absolving them of responsibility and that's not what I said. All children are vulnerable, because all children are children; they don't come out of the womb with a perfectly working moral compass anymore than they come out of it waiting to hurt people--they're vulnerable because their understanding of the world is entirely at the mercy of what we, as adults, consistently tell them and show them. Children behaving cruelly aren't exempt from that--they learn that cruelty from somewhere, or someone. Your job, as the adult, is to make sure they understand that it's unacceptable so it will not happen again--but your job is also to ask why someone that young is behaving this way to begin with, so you can ensure they become better.

"Protecting" kids is not ignoring when they hurt or torment others, it's not refusing to teach them consequences or right from wrong, it's not "zero tolerance" policies in schools that treat a child being bullied and the child bullying them as equal instigators, and it's certainly not protecting them from recognizing, and atoning for, the pain they have caused someone else. You don't have to make peace with the now-adults who hurt you when you both were kids, but you cannot let the horrors of your own childhood impact how you treat or respond to the children living theirs around you right now, either.

You don't protect kids so they can get a free pass for bullying or tormenting another child. You protect them because kids are impulsive, emotionally reactive, and profoundly social (which means deeply impressionable) human beings who are still learning & processing insane amounts of information every day about what it means to be alive, to be alive as yourself, to be alive as yourself with other people. Protecting them is realising that you can't isolate the responsibility of a 10 year old from the bigger responsibility of the literal grown adults around them, adults who are in charge of teaching them about the world and how to behave in it. Whether you have children of your own in the future or not is completely irrelevant to this; we all become those adults eventually--no matter what happened to us as kids.

[alexa-crowe]

colin 🤝 anthony: making an heir in s3

[lastoneout]

catch me outside the club crying about yotsuba's dad being a better parent than most of the adults who raised me

[ryanthel0ser]

Alright everyone, get on the delusional train

[so-that-was-okay]

Some people choose to not have children because they know they wouldn't be "good parents", or at least not good enough because of their past traumas and other personal problems.

And I kinda want to see Tommy be like that, because I know men who are like that and it's never addressed or it's always pushed as "but you should have kids anyway, you're such a good guy!" and... no. You don't make kids and hope for the best when you're not 100% sure. Children are not therapy, they're not here to heal their parents' traumas.

Instead of the "I want to give my own children the love I never had", some men choose to not take the risk. One of my friends was scared to be like his father, and even being aware of that (and definitely being a way better man than his father), he was scared of becoming like his father and not being able to see it. So he chose to not have children and he doesn't miss it (he's 41).

I know so many people see being parents as the end goal of a life, like the ultimate purpose of a person, and also the highest proof of love in a couple, but it's not. It's just really not. It can be, depending on the person, but it's definitely not for everyone. And I'd love to see that representation too, in a very respectful way, and not as a sob story. Just a fact of life: some people don't have the right life trajectory to have children. They will love the children around them like theirs, but having the responsibility of raising a child with the risk of passing on their own traumas is not something they want to even think about.

[autisticrosewilson]

Every year Kate holds her own Kane Family Events™️ on the same nights as Bruce has his, a cousin rivalry that's been going on as long as either of them can remember.

Dick occasionally joined the Kane's to spite Bruce the first few years, but eventually settled into his Richy Wayne persona.

Jason attended the first few Wayne galas, and immediately decided he wasn't fond of all the formality. He made a deal with Dick, he'll go to the Kane events and bring back leftovers if Dick does the same at Wayne events.

He ends up having a lot of fun! He's pretty much immediately hoisted over to the kid table, which would be more offensive if 18 year old Bette Kane weren't also there. Eventually someone else joins their little gossip duo, a blonde boy named Joey whose around Dick's age. Apparently his mom is Kate's aunt or something and she runs the New York branch of Kane Corp. He's pretty cool, Jason was a little surprised he couldn't talk but he knows ASL so it wasn't an issue and they have a lot in common!

Flash forward a few months later. There's a new Titan team, and Jason gets to visit them today. He's heard of them all at least, Wally, Kori, and Donna are regular fixtures at the manor, and he's met Roy a few times too. He's NOT expecting to see Cousin Joey lounging on the couch.

"-and this is Jericho, or Joey." Dick introduces, oblivious to Jason's inner turmoil.

"Nice to meet you." He says on autopilot. He opens his mouth to- to? He's not actually sure what he could say but he doesn't get the opportunity either way.

Joey waves back, curt and polite as would be expected of two perfect strangers. There's a secretive little smile quirking his lips, the one he gets after he drops a particularly juicy piece of gossip.

Jason's lips thin, keeping the questions trapped behind his teeth. He nods subtly, and the introductions move on.

It's only at the next gathering, with Bette off at the buffet, the two of them sequestered in the corner, that he makes a realization. "Oh my God auntie Addie is a meta!" He gasps, interrupting the conversation. He'd barely thought it through. He saw Adeline deeply engaged with the annual drinking contest out of the corner of his eye and it fell from his mouth before he could stop it. If Joey is a meta that was born with his powers, he had to get them from somewhere. He's not exactly surprised that Addie is a metahuman, he just hadn't realized.

Joey gives him a weird look, part amused and confused before he seems to follow Jason's train of thought. He shakes his head with a grin, signing father. Like that gives him any context.

Joey doesn't talk about his dad. Whoever he is has never shown up to one of these events as far as Jason could tell. His only clue is the last name Wilson, not one that Joey uses himself, but the one entered in the system at the tower.

He turns that information around in his head, utilizing all of those detective skills to piece the clues together before Joey interrupts him with a gentle nudge.

He's picking me up tonight if you want to meet him, Joey offers, a spark of mischief in his eyes that makes Jason suspicious.

Jason chokes on his own spit as he watches Deathstroke emerge from a Benz, dressed down in jeans and a T-shirt. The man gives Jason a look over, recognizes him, and then ignores him completely. Ushering Joey into the car talking about tickets to some events or other that may or may not be a mission.

[ahagisborn]

I typed up an impassioned rant yesterday about some family bullshit that I'm in the middle of but by the time I was done I wasn't Yosemite Sam-levels of angry anymore, but just quietly frustrated and sad so I'll post the gist (bc I do still need attention and I think my mom is sick of talking to me)

my cousin's husband's mom had knee surgery on Thursday, but they also left for vacation on Thursday? I guess they thought she'd have inpatient rehab, but said cousin's husband would come home early if needed. well obviously she got discharged to home the next day and I started getting texts from my cousin about how much money flights back were. I told them all I couldn't be the "on-call" person for this but I guess they decided they could just disregard that and now cousin's husband is not coming home until next weekend and I am indeed the "on-call" person for this? which I know from my cousin's husband's mom asking me to do all this shit I said I couldn't do, as my cousin has stopped texting me and her husband NEVER ONCE texted me

[bowenoke]

you can find the exact moment the absurd sets in by letting someone play minecraft because kids just want to mine but at a certain point a switch flips and they will start reinventing god.

[randomnameless]

Hello! I hope that you are doing well!

I just wanted to send you a question regarding the amount of power Rhea has in Fódlan since something came to my mind. You know how during Edelgard's coronation, she said to her father that, "The Archbishop of the Church of Seiros would normally act as witness, but my professor will fill that role instead"?

Unless I missed something [or am overthinking], do you believe that Rhea was even there to witness Ionius' coronation?

We were told in the game that it had been ages since a member of House Hresvelg enrolled into the Officers Academy as well as that there had recently been a rift between the Adrestian Empire and the Church of Seiros.

Therefore, to me at least, that implied that said rift had been going on for a while. And I do not see why they would allow her there if such a thing was going on. Yet, Rhea does not retaliate against this as far as I know. Then there is the fact that Edelgard is allowed to be coronated without Byleth's presence. The Southern Church was dismantled, too, so…I think it is safe to say that there was not an official to witness her from there as well. lol

To put it simply, it feels very contradictory to me and adds a crack into the "Rhea controls Fódlan" perspective.

Hi!

I agree, that NPC going all "the empire and hthe church cut ties eons agao that's why supreme leader is the first imperial heir to attend since ages" suggests Rhea wasn't very welcomed in Enbarr.

FWIW the Nopes book about the Southern Church incident reveals the Emperor of that time already wanted to cut ties with the Central Church - and used this rebellion (which was more or less a Varley daughter wanting to have a role instead of letting her bother inherit everything?) as an excuse to finally give them the boot.

In a nutshell, I heavily doubt Rhea was around when Ionius was coronated, if her Church was already "not welcomed" by the time the Southern Church was disbanded.

The Archbishop acting as witness might be just some sort of old ceremonial thing, just like the "covenant of the red blood and the white sword", maybe all coronations try to renact the "oath" Wilhelm took/swore to Seiros when she presumably made him Emperor of Adrestia? And the Archbishop acts as a stand in for Seiros (even if we know better!) when the oath is sworn again by Willy's descendants?

As you pointed out, the Archbishop being present or not is merely decorum, since nowhere the game suggests that in the non-CF routes, Supreme Leader's coup coronation isn't regular or anything.

Rhea controlling Fodlan isn't backed up by canon, Adrestia has been doing its own thing for several centuries, the CoS only provides help (the game doesn't tell us what it is!) to Faerghus : Dimitri becomes King not because Rhea crowns or splashes oil on him, but because he is the Crown Prince and the last heir of the previous King. As for the Alliance, it does its own thing without her input!

[anxiously-sidequesting]

So I've been Sinning because I've been making posts on Malorn and Duncan individually but I don't think I ever really touched up on how their relationship with EACH OTHER would be and that's literally the most traumatizing thing I can think of for either of them

This is like, moreso purely speculation and 🌈 imagination🌈 anyways because I don't think there's like any canon material on the two of them interacting and their arcs and backstories are as small as bacteria in the first place but literally those two on their own could have their own fucking show with how much UNTAPPED STORYLINE that can come out of "Borderline child prodigy forced into and struggling with important position" Malorn and "Troubled child with undiscussed emotional issues and a jealousy complex borne from said position" Duncan

Idk about any type of interaction or relationship these two might have had before Malistaire became the Joker, but I can imagine there's ALREADY some type of rivalry (at LEAST one sided) between two guys in the same school in the same class, one of them is blatantly better than the other at everything they do and it's not the guy who says he is. (Like, idek how Malorn himself feels about him being the best in his class, but from what we've seen he doesn't brag about, mislead, or exaggerate about it like Duncan does. And the insane thing is Malorn AT LEAST would have a BASIS on his claims and attitude even if he was being a jerk about it)

But the thing is, Malorn back then as a regular student would not have been in any position to be up close and personal with Duncan in any meaningful way during school hours. Like they're classmates, at best they get grouped on a project together, but Malorn and Duncan being together would not be required and important until AFTER Malistaire dips and Malorn is now Duncan's PROFESSOR. Now in a totally more complicated and intimate way than before, Malorn and Duncan HAVE to interact with each other, speak and work with each other because now Malorn is the new Death teacher and he has to handle the brunt of Duncan's education and progress. GIRLS YOU NEED TO READ THAT LAST PART AGAIN BECAUSE THAT IS SO IMPORTANT!!!!!!!

Malorn and Duncan literally CANNOT escape each other if they wanted to do their jobs (good, unbiased educator and student still receiving education respectively). Yeah they may not be like, personal tutor and student but Duncan is in MALORN'S class now, and just that position alone puts a type of pressure on both of them to still maintain their respective roles and civility while dealing with the person who Does Not Make You Happy on a more personal level than before. That sucks actually

Like, Duncan couldn't even lie to Malorn about how "well" he's doing in Death class when he can SEE his papers. Duncan can't hide his grades papers from his professor, Duncan is no longer able to pull the wool over Malorn's eyes like he does with EVERYONE ELSE. Duncan already had some type of issues with being second best, but imagine one of the people that was threatening Duncan's spot as first place becomes his superior. His superior that can SEE that Duncan is in fact, not the best. Duncan can't even PRETEND that Malorn isn't better than him anymore because it's been proven, when Malorn was made Professor instead of him, and Malorn himself now has an inside view of Duncan's insincerity. What little ""power"" Duncan thought he had was now ALL taken away from him

AND THEN MALORN DOESN'T HAVE IT MUCH BETTER, because here's this little shit that just seems to hate him for no reason???? Idk if Malorn ever knew about Duncan bragging about himself or his jealousy of him in general before Malistaire left, but whether or not he did before he most likely knows NOW. With his new position and him having to care for Duncan as a student rather than a peer, now suddenly Malorn is in Duncan's DIRECT line of fire and he has no wiggle room to step aside or remove himself because in order for Malorn to be a good teacher *he has to be there for Duncan*. He no longer has the luxury to just "ignore" Duncan or even put him in his place if that's what he really wanted, because now Malorn has to be a certain type of responsible and not abandon or get into fights with students that give him any issues (looking at you Malistaire and Mabrose 😒)

Yeah ofc Malorn could always discipline Duncan or smth but what's the use if this one student is just adamant on causing issues? It seems like Duncan has more of a 'hands off' type of technique when trying to get what he wants (using other people to finish his homework for him), but it's super easy to imagine Duncan just doing little or petty things to undermine Malorn's authority in any way he can. Nothing evil but just like challenging or questioning Malorn's lessons during class, mouthing off whenever he can, things that are used to blow off steam and stick it to Malorn in what little way he can definitely sounds like some shit Duncan would do. And what are you supposed to do when this kid, someone who is YOUR AGE but is still essentially supposed to be listening to YOU, is lashing out at you and disrupting class every chance he gets? Discipline him for the hundredth time?

Imagine how this grates on Malorn's nerves how on top of everything else, on top of everyone else already being jumpy and snippy around him, in addition to his entire lifestyle being turned around, even with his tutor and someone he looked up to betraying him in the worst way, even with ALL OF THAT, this *ooooooone* person decides to go out of their way to continuously punish you for it. Malorn is doing his job, what he's expected of no matter how unfair or tiring or unrewarding it may be, and he is being persecuted by someone for a job *he never even asked for*.

Malorn did not plan or hope for ANY of this to happen. Yeah being a Professor sounds cool and shit at first glance but like I've said once before Malorn at that time is still like 12 years old and the change is so absolutely sudden and jarring that Malorn couldn't have even possibly PREPARED for this situation. Whether or not Malorn is actually good at his job now does not push aside the fact that Malorn may not have even WANTED to be in that job in the first place!! We have no way of knowing if Malorn was seriously like "man I wish I was a teacher right now" at ANY point of his life, but it's safe to say he most likely DID NOT because Malorn was never flaunting or showcasing his talent to everyone like Duncan was!! Perhaps the one person who wants this THE LEAST is being unfairly judged by the person who wanted it THE MOST

AND THAT ^^^^^^^ is getting to the core of this Malorn VS. Duncan thing going on here. Two opposites, two extremes that are forced together unwillingly and they're both unnecessarily suffering for it.

And at the end, when The Wizard is trying to do shit and Duncan pops up like "aaayyyy 🤪🖕" and is defeated in 2 seconds, how does that affect them both? Does Malorn ever like, know this about Duncan? Did Duncan even graduate before he was manipulated into a literal cult?

Imagine how messed up Malorn would feel if he ever found out. Would he take it personally, even though none of it was his fault? Would he still FEEL that it was his fault, that the one person who hated him sooo much it became the catalyst to his downfall? Would Malorn feel responsible for Duncan and all the hurt he's caused and all the hurt he's felt even though he shouldn't?

And the saddest part is even if Malorn did suffer any type of way from knowing how Duncan turned out to be, his responsibilities wouldn't leave him that much time to mourn before he had to go back to work. The saddest part is that even though Duncan was told over and over that he was alone and that nobody cared for him, he had Malorn by his side the entire time more than willing to support him. Their relationship is so interesting to me because it's so tragic and multifaceted when ultimately things could have been at least moderately better if the world hadn't let them both down

[roobylavender]

i’m not sure if you’ve talked about it before but i’m soso curious about your opinions on how the interactions/relationship between leslie & post-res jason would go/be

i like to think it wouldn't be all that different from her interactions with bruce actually because i tend to be of the opinion that jason is the most like bruce of bruce's children. the quintessential "illogical" reaction to, reclamation of, and extrapolation of trauma; the slow suicide of the civilian self; the overwhelming despair over personal inadequacy in the face of crime; the consistent urge to project onto others. it's a lot. and obv jason is a somewhat more.. volatile character than bruce once he comes back from the dead. but i think most people would agree that had the red hood characterization not gone so haywire after under the hood that that volatility would mostly be an internalized thing. jason is a delusional person to an extent but he's not incapable of human interaction or parlance. whatever he does as the red hood—while powered by a warped sense of self and the world; while indicative of several social wrongs; while externally easy to perceive as an "extreme" reaction rather than as the natural conclusion to vigilantism in and of itself—is for the most part practical. he's not a loose cannon by any means. he can be talked to and reasoned with. bruce simply happens to be the worst person to even attempt to do that because he does not have the answers that jason, let alone he himself, would want. bruce is a very emotionally confused person and he's at a stage in his life by this point where all he knows how to do is say sorry. he's no longer the guy everyone goes to for solutions. people have started to lose faith in him as to that and he himself has started to lose faith in his own ability to do so. this is honestly where my strongest criticism of bruce would lay. he's not someone unaware of his various issues and transgressions. he thinks about them all the time. but he doesn't do much to solve those issues and transgressions. instead what he has a tendency to do is isolate and wallow and beat himself up meanwhile the people upset with him are stood in a corner like well.. ok.. what the fuck are we supposed to do with that.. and that is ultimately helpful to no one lol!

which brings me back to leslie. i've never been a fan of the later, rare iterations of leslie that take her into the realm of judge, jury, and executioner. although i haven't read war games myself (nor do i ever intend to) i can't ever imagine that leslie's means of expressing her aversion to and exasperation with bruce's lifestyle would culminate in her deliberately facilitating a child's death—or faking that child's death. whichever version of canon you want to go with is fine for the sake of argument—to teach bruce a lesson. for every horrible thing about the world or gotham or bruce specifically that leslie is privy to she nonetheless keeps faith in the latter's desire to do good. she doesn't agree with his methods nor lifestyle by a long mile but she's not loath to the batman in a way that would preclude her from recognizing bruce wants to do better and ultimately reach a point at which vigilantism is no longer the answer. leslie is the harsh and necessary critic of vigilantism, and purportedly a cynic with respect to the rest of the world, but in practice she is a far less unforgiving person than she portrays herself to be and her commitment to remaining in crime alley is a testament to that. it would probably take a good word (from talia, imo!) and some mulling over for her to come around to the idea of taking jason under her wing. but i don't think it would be something for her to put her foot down over. at best she would hold him to a higher standard of future behavior because she wants to know that when he says he is going to get better he means it. the stray lighthearted threat would be lobbed at him here and there but she wouldn't really mean the words. there would be the external impression of cut and dry dialogue between a begrudged employer and the random kid she decides to give a job because she knows he would end up a mess otherwise. but there would be a latent affection there too (if not immediately ascertainable by jason because he would still be too burrowed in his anger and grief and confusion to recognize it) because she knew him when he was a child and she suspects the part of him that existed before death is still hidden somewhere for people like her to find

[ballsballsbowls]

Did xmas stuff with parents yesterday (Bro and I both worked Xmas and rescheduled) with a round of negative covid tests that morning and spent like 6 hours hanging around the house.

Got a text like 3 hours after we got home that dad took another test before bed to prep for a funeral tomorrow and he got a positive.

And a second positive when he took a second test.

Love this for me.

[sleepinglionhearts]

Man, just saw a post about it, but renewed my frustration over work nonsense yesterday

Being like, oh, cool! It's disability pride month! We get to switch the displays in the store! I wanna make a really cool display right up front!!

Getting a cart to go start selecting books from our wide array of children's books, picture books, YA novels, adult fiction, nonfiction, etc that I know feature disabled characters and people and that I've seen sitting on the shelves for a while, our previous book buyer was always suuuuuper vocal about finding books w disabled characters, after all, representation just MATTERED SO MUCH to her,

And then being absolutely dumbfounded when we BARELY HAVE ANYTHING outside of characters w ADHD/Autism. MAYBE anxiety. PERHAPS a character has cancer. THE FAINTEST SUGGESTION of a wheelchair in one book. Huntington's? Question mark? In another? Conditions resulting in disfigurement/amputation? The concept could possibly exist in this book, uhh.. maybe...... anything else? Ha! Not on these shelves I fucking guess?!

Like.... we have a ton of books w queer rep! Different body types! Different skin tones! Teach your toddler about social justice! Transgender characters! Nonbinary characters! The alphabet but we're making it gay! At least one book, I think, with asexual characters! But no, we don't have our self-empowerment books anymore or the little guide to sexuality and disability, we have Buddhist monk advice for anxious people, but nooooo we DON'T have that cool book that talked about disability activism anymore, and definitely not in time for July!

I know she and I were at odds before she left, and I know my specifically putting "National month of..." prompts up on my desk calendar after she expressed it was "so difficult to find out what each month is the month of!" probably really irritated her, but I'm like. Appalled that she hadn't been ordering to restock for disability pride month since she always made such a big deal about having books like that in the store.

[mashmouths]

anyone want to pull an edna pontellier with me