#and that there are examples like this to point to

[joseigamer]

Interview with the Vampire Manga Adaptation (Yoake no Vampire) by Udoh Shinohara + DL Link

DL LINK HERE

Happy new episode of IWTV AMC day! Today though, I want to share something I've teased earlier on my blog, which is the Japanese manga adaptation of the Interview with the Vampire gothic horror novel. See under the cut for more details!

It came out in 1994, a bit after the movie, but it only referenced the book itself. It consisted of a single volume made up of three chapters, so events are condensed and abridged, and it skips Part II in Eastern Europe. The first two chapters were scanlated into English by a group named Trine and distributed on the aarinfantasy forums in 2007, but the third chapter was kind of lost to time, especially after all the links to the raw Japanese scans went down years ago. However, I discovered that a now defunct Portuguese scanlation group did the whole thing (individual credits included in the .zip), and I was able to recover chapter three, use heavily cross-checked and edited MTL (PT-ENG), and deliver the final product to you all. See more notes about this process or where to read the PT version in the readme file included in the .zip! It's not 100% perfect and I would not call it true 'scanlation' obviously, so if anyone can do a better job I welcome them to! I hope more visibility on this manga makes the raws become available again so a true JPN-ENG translation can be done on the last chapter!

This manga obviously has major IWTV book spoilers, but it does NOT include anything from later books in the series and is honestly quite faithful overall. It even includes Lestat's father. I might actually call it slightly gayer than the book, since Louis and Armand become more obviously in love. I would recommend it to anyone who's watching the series and hasn't read the book yet, as well as to anyone who enjoys the books alone! The art style is very 90s, but it has some really beautiful visuals sometimes, especially with Claudia. I hope everyone enjoys reading it!

[what-even-is-thiss]

People acting like slavery was good at literally any point in history kinda drive me crazy. There's been many different types of slavery and indentured servitude all throughout human history all with a lot of difference and nuance to all of them and all of them have been bad. Like it's fundamentally wrong to take a person's personal ownership of their own body and life away from them and/or to make them work for no compensation against their will.

Slavery has been a bit different in every society that has practiced it and it is always a different kind of bad with that core immorality of stealing a person's personal autonomy from them at the center of it. People throughout history have always preferred owning themselves to being owned by others. There's no ethical way to own another human being.

Like people talk about slavery in ancient times like more modern examples of slavery should've been more like that. No, they shouldn't have. Because they shouldn't have been practicing slavery at all. Perhaps a third of the Roman Empire's population was enslaved. It was incredibly normalized. Did that make it right? No. That was a third of the population that could legally be killed or sold or raped by their enslavers at any time for no reason. That had no ownership of themselves or their labor.

And to be clear, slavery still exists and it's still bad. The excuse now is just that it's only being done to prisoners. Like all the forms of slavery before it, this justification does not make it right. People being punished for their crimes, whether you think prison time is a justifiable punishment or not, are still people. They need to be given control over what work they apply to do and be paid for their work. This is basic stuff and yet. Forced unpaid labor is still happening. It's all bad. It's all nuanced and and complicated and different and changes with culture and time and it's bad.

Like as someone who loves studying history I hate watching other people who study history try to justify these things. Face your actual history. There's a lot of bad in it. We can't change the past but we sure as hell can stop ignoring it.

[ninamodaffari]

okay you guys got me started on dishonored (the series) fucking IMMACULATE art direction. I'm going to try and sum it up but I'm honestly better with art than words so I'll try my best.

dishonored is fucking unparaelled when it comes to art direction. from when you first start the game, each level has a distinct style, color, and vibe. dunwall is dominated by cool greys, towering, imposing structures like dark sentinels watching over the land. twisting, rotting trees and an ever-present smog that overtakes the city. dunwall is inky blue darkness.

HOWEVER, from a gameplay perspective, there are visual points of interest still that stops you from getting lost in a wash of blue. dishonored is a master of using lighting and color to lead you to areas that it wants you to go.

for example, in the corner of a window you might see glowing purple lighting. these are void shrines - where the outsider will appear and share knowledge harass you. usually around shrines there are walls of writing, strange twisted words that lead you further into the mystique surrounding what the outsider is and what he *does*.

you might think the game is just awash in dull colors, but its not. one of the most beautiful and striking levels takes place in lady boyle's mansion, and it's INSANE how different it looks, because it's supposed to be a stark contrast. surrounding her mansion are the remains of a dying city destroyed by a plague. within her mansion, however, is decadence and debauchery gone awry.

it's amazing with a game that was made TWELVE YEARS AGO how this still holds up and looks fantastic. this is because they went for a stylized art direction. it's stylized, almost painterly. it looks fantastic. here is some of the amazing character design

(this is from dishonored 2, done by Sergey Kolesov )

LOOK AT THIS ART. IT'S SO FREAKING AMAZING AND THE THING IS THE CHARACTERS LOOK SO CLOSE TO T HIS IN GAME. its a masterpiece. if you haven't played dishonored, please play it. all of them.

[zerbu]

The Sims 4 Mod: Schedule Festivals Yourself

Schedule Festivals Yourself disables all festivals in The Sims 4 and allows you to re-add them using the Seasons holiday system. It supports festivals from City Living, Island Living, Snowy Escape, Cottage Living and High School Years. You can schedule them to appear on any day and season you want, or disable them entirely by not scheduling them at all.

This mod requires Seasons to work. You'll also need at least one pack that contains festivals, otherwise it's useless.

If you have High School Years, the mod also changes how the Chess and Computer Team Science Fairs work. These are now scheduled through the holiday system like the other festivals instead of through the phone.

Like most holiday traditions, Sims can "Love" or "Ignore" them based on their traits. A Sim "Ignoring" the tradition won't prevent the festival from appearing, it just means they won't get any holiday points for it.

Known Issues

There are two known issues that can cause festivals to start at the wrong time:

Festivals are scheduled a certain number of hours after 6am, when holidays usually start. Because of this, if you edit a holiday that has already started and add a festival tradition, it will start late.

If this mod is added to an existing save, new instances of festivals can clash with old ones, causing them to not start or start at weird times. To prevent this from happening, schedule festivals on different days than they would normally be scheduled for (for example, avoid scheduling the Football Team Sports Day on Thursdays). For festivals from older packs (City Living, Island Living, Snowy Escape), this problem should fix itself after a few Sim days, but for newer packs, it can take up to four Sim weeks.

Conflicts

This mod will conflict with any mod that alters festival notifications, including mods that remove them. I kept the notifications in this mod, because if you go out of your way to add a festival to the calendar, you probably want to be notified when it begins.

This mod will also conflict with mods that add notifications to Island Living festivals, including avacadoloki's Sulani Events Flyer and Calendar Notifications and MizoreYukii's Island Event Notifications. Schedule Events Yourself adds similar functionality to the latter.

Change Log

15th June 2024 - Updated to fix a typo in the description for the GeekCon tradition.

Download

Download from Google Drive

Please see Known Issues and Conflicts before using!

[somerandomdudelmao]

I think it's important to note that you may be a little biased. Or...I don't know, have had a head start? Not sure what the word is.

The point is that you made a comic for a fandom first. One that got really, really popular. So when you made the original comic, people already knew it would be cool. We liked your style, because we've seen it before with stuff already familiar to us. I guess you could say we trusted you already, or something.

That's fair. However, on my Twitter for example, Marble Sky received much less support and attention, despite the fact that there were more active followers there at the time. So, well.. I took that into account.

Also I see the original stuff on tumblr much more often. Maybe it's a false impression, but it seems to me that socials that have an algorithm are less suitable for original stories, because the algorithm always prefers franchises over individual artists?

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Something I’ve noticed across collecting different cards is that Twisted Wonderland seems to have a bit of a skew in which characters get character x player ship bait. Between events and card lines, some characters look like they are getting neglected in the ship teasing category. Is there some kind of popularity bias behind this? Like maximizing profit or game popularity by targeting certain groups of fans among the fandom?

Mmm… I haven’t noticed a skew, personally. If there is one at all, I’d wager it isn’t significant and it’ll probably depend a lot on what point in time you’re evaluating at. Since TWST is consistently releasing new content, the voice lines are sure to “even out” eventually if given enough of a waiting period. For example, you could say that the GloMasq boys have “more” bait lines… until Playful Land boys were released the year after, thus leveling the playing field.

All cards have character x player ship bait to some degree. Most of them will have at least 1-2 lines which involves complimenting you/your look (and if not in the card lines, then directly in the event, especially when Yuu has changed into a new outfit), Yuu touching them in some way (or being invited to), or asking Yuu to hang out or to do an activity with them. Everyone gets these lines because there are fans of every character that have spending power; it doesn't make sense to intentionally devote more lines to one while leaving the others starving for content when there are big spenders for all characters (which will vary widely anyway depending on the server too, so there are very few consistent "favorites"). Devoting time and energy to every character is what makes the most profit in the long run, as you risk losing the fans (and money) of "less popular" characters if they don't get new food too. It doesn’t matter that the high spenders for like… Azul stay because they’d still be losing the revenue coming in from Jack stans who dropped the game due to content drought.

I would say that what is and is not categorized as a "shipping bait" line depends a lot on other factors, the strongest of them all being individual perception. For example, if you ship yourself/your Yuusona with the character, you may be more likely to perceive any line spoken by your favorites as "more romantic" than other characters. This feeds into your preexisting expectations, and is therefore a form of confirmation bias. Meanwhile, if you ship two canon characters with one another, there are many more potential combinations so it's less likely that the particular ship you're into will get "bait". Additionally, some people are more liberal with what they perceive to be romantic or not. For example, Ace inviting you out to do something can be seen as both platonic or romantic, based on who is judging the line because there isn’t anything inherently romantic in spending time together. This is also the case in the main story or events; some players see Yuu giving Malleus the VDC/SDC ticket in book 5 as "a date" while others do not. This brings me to another point: character relationships within the main story and their personalities will also have a drastic impact on what is perceived as romantic or not. Rook, for example, speaks in a very flowery manner. Because of this, a majority of his lines could be seen as "bait". Characters that are gruffer (Jack) or "loner" types (Idia) would naturally have fewer inviting lines due to their characters. And again, with Ace, since he is presented as one of Yuu's closest friends in the main story, it's easy to perceive him as a platonic bestie when reading his lines since your friendship is already established.

Lastly, I think it's worthwhile to consider that there are also nuances that are lost in translation between JP and EN, which may alter which lines are seen as "bait" and which aren't. A really popular one I see floating around is Malleus's vignette level up line, which is translated in EN as "You aren’t afraid of me. But I’m starting to become afraid… of losing you.” Many fans perceive this as romantic and often joke that “Malleus missed the meeting about TWST not being a dating sim!” However, this line has a different context in JP which reads as more platonic.

The original Japanese line is お前は僕を恐れない。そんなお前を失うことが僕は恐ろしくなり始めている。This roughly has the same meaning, but the wording Malleus uses seems to specify that he is afraid of losing the Yuu that is not afraid of him. EN omits the そんな (son na) part, which would refer to a type or kind of person (as in, “son na hito”). In this case, Malleus is afraid of losing “the kind of Yuu that is not afraid of him”. So really, the original meaning of the line is that he is expressing a fear of what would happen if his true identity comes to light (as Yuu is the one person who doesn’t know), not that he is afraid of losing Yuu as a whole.

To summarize: it’s up to individual perception and, given enough time, every boy will get their fair share of fanservice for the player.

[misto713]

what if shen yuan had a personality/history that was closer to shen jiu (a ruthless street rat), and the only main difference between them was that sy actually liked the 'protagonist', binghe? i think poor bingbing would have fallen even harder/faster tbh.

-- example --

skinner arc

skinner: "ooh what pretty skin you have, mr. cultivator! i can't wait to wear it! :) :) :)"

sy: (instead of pointing them at binghe) *evil grin* "why don't you come closer to see it in detail then?"

skinner: *approaches*

sy: *rips their throat out with his teeth*

sy: "and this, children, is why you should always remember two things: one, cultivation improves not only your qi, but also your physical strength, and cutting you off from qi doesn't hinder your muscles; and two, just because you don't have qi doesn't mean you're helpless. now. let's get out of here, shall we?"

sy: *grins at the kids with his bloodied teeth*

sy: *dislocates his wrist to slip out of the immortal binding cables*

ning yingying: *horrified but also kinda impressed*

binghe: *has never been more horny in his life*

--

i just think it would make an interesting dynamic, and maybe make it easier for bingbing to accept his demonic side and instincts if he saw that humans can clearly be epic and badass and ruthless and still be capable of kindness. that his demonic instincts don't make him any less of a person.

after all, if shizun can be... like that, and he's a human, then why would it be a problem if binghe was a bit more... attuned to his instincts too?

[highvern]

Casual

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader

Genre: angst, fluff, suggestive

warnings:  toxic relationship dynamics, alcohol consumption, avoidant attachment, hoshi cries, sex but nothing graphic

Length: ~ 3.8k

Note: the ending is inspired by this post. happy bday to my boo, legally its still your bday in california. sorry i made you cry. thank u @wonustars for sitting through the dumpster fire this was

series m.list: Houdini [s], Green Light [s, f], YUCK [f], Talk [a, f, s]

m.list

This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.

In the past few weeks, something has been different between you and your fuck buddy.

He’s always been relatively excitable, thrilled by life and happy to be wherever you are. But there’s more smiling,  more touching, and more moments that feel like maybe you’re in a relationship you didn’t sign up for because now every time you see him it doesn’t automatically devolve into humping each other until your eyes cross and limbs go numb. 

Tonight is a prime example.

You happen to end up at the same bar (after he told you where he’d be with the optimism you’d show up, because you typically do). It’s early in the night, when pretending not to realize the other is just a few feet away on the opposite side of the room is still appropriate. Or you pretend while Soonyoung not so subtly follows your every move for the right moment to approach. 

You like to act as if it's a coincidence you’d even show up in the first place and that you aren’t wrapped around his finger. Soonyoung, ever indulgent, lets you. He realized after repeated brush-offs that you have to come to him. And you will in your own time; like a cat that will let you look but not touch until it decides to. Make that decision too soon and he’ll end up covered in scratches and alone. 

Your friends aren’t dumb to the charade. They know how you and Soonyoung work despite how overly complex you make it. They don’t push to ask questions, preferring to silently observe the back and forth when you two happen to be in public. Like they’re watching a nature documentary. Maybe they think they’re being subtle when they point out he’s sitting a few tables away or how they spotted him on the way back from the restroom with invisible question marks over their heads blaring ‘so what are you guys?’ 

There isn’t an answer. You and Soonyoung fuck. Sometimes you don’t; like when you were sick or when it's two in the morning and he swears he sleeps better when you’re there. Occasionally, when you feel extra generous, you let him take you out in public and hold your hand. Other times you pretend not to know he’s got his eyes on you from the moment you arrive at a party and go home alone with a handful of missed calls.

It’s…complicated.

So you sit at a table tucked in the corner and stir at the diluted contents of your drink while pointedly avoiding looking to your left where you know a pair of eager brown eyes are waiting to greet you.

“How long do we have to sit here until you go and talk to your lover boy?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You dismiss the very thought that anyone else is privy to the imaginary game of chess you’re playing against no one but yourself.

“Oh, really?” Lily snorts. “Because he’s been moony-eyed for the past twenty minutes and—”

“Shut up,” you snarl. 

You're under the microscope and there's nowhere to hide. Not at this table at least.

“Would it be so bad if you guys just dated? He likes you and you obviously—”

The end of that sentence rattles in your brain even as you stomp away, parting the crowd loitering at the ball. You scold the moments of weakness that make it obvious. 

It takes all your patience not to bodycheck the people stumbling in your way. Everyone’s packed in tight like sardines, at the mercy of the tide of bodies flowing to and fro. A brief part in the sea gets you to the counter. You barely take a breath before a familiar presence hovers at your shoulder.

“Come here often?” Soonyoung calls in your ear. The warmth of his breath sends shivers down your spine, goosebumps blooming despite the heat.

“Is that the best you can do?” You tease, finding his gaze. “Really?”

He’s warm at your amusement, eyes bright with his own humor or maybe it's the shots you watched Seokmin coax him into from the corner of your eye as you walked through the door. “How about, let me buy your next drink?”

“See if you lead with that I think you’ll be much more successful.”

He snorts before flagging down a bartender and reciting both your orders. The last thing he needs right now is more booze but if things go as planned, he’ll be too distracted to even notice you sipping on the cup meant for him.

 The hand at the base of your spine is calming even in the chaos of the bar, his effort to keep you close as possible like you’d go anywhere. A soothing circle of his thumb burns across the sliver of bare skin below the hem of your shirt makes the world shrink down to just you two.

An easily established routine takes over. Soonyoung crowds you in, pushing you back into one of the stools and assuming the space between your legs. The length of his body locks you firmly in place. His eyes trace your mouth as he talks. Calculating if you’ll let him kiss you or if it’s too early to ask for that just yet.

“You look good.”

“Oh?” you ask with fake innocence. You know what you look like. Short skirt, tight top. Enough skin to make him drool and think about what you’re wearing underneath. Or what you aren’t, given your track record.

“Yeah.” A complete sentence. He’s too preoccupied staring at your bare legs to provide more context. Void of an ounce of shame, he traces the curve of your thigh obscenely without a care who might see and the conclusions they’ll make. 

It’s hot. Temperature wise. Warm hands you wish would dip between your thighs and play with what’s just out of view rather than stroke at the rough hem of your skirt. But Soonyoung isn’t one for public indecency. 

At least not that indecent.

You watch him watch you. The blushed tips of his ears give away exactly what he’s thinking. The memories of you, in the back of his Jeep wearing this very skirt, bouncing on his cock like you’d die without it just last weekend. Blowing his load as you teased him with the idea of cumming inside you without a condom. If he keeps staring then you’ll have no choice but to rush him into the bathroom for a quickie. But tonight, you want him to break first.

“Are you planning to do something about or—”

Your phone is buzzing before you get the chance to finish the thought. It’s probably just your friends giving a fair warning they’re heading out now that you no longer need them to serve as cover for the real reason you’re in a shitty bar on a Friday night. But the name on the screen is one you haven’t thought about in months.

Mingyu (tinder): back in town for the night, u free? [11:34PM]

“Who’s that?” 

You bristle at his accusatory tone, locking your phone and hiding it away. Soonyoung assesses with skeptical eyes, chin jutted like you’re under examination because he decided to snoop over your shoulder.  “What? No one.”

“Doesn’t seem like no one.”

“It’s none of your business.” You shoot back. He’s starting to piss you off.

The feeling is mutual if the hutch in his shoulders is anything to go by. “Sorry I’m confused why some dude is inviting you over at midnight.”

“Well, it’s a good thing it doesn’t matter if you’re confused because you aren’t my boyfriend.” You spit. 

Soonyoung recoils like you slapped the words into his cheek. Cold air floods in between you, filling the newly abandoned space now that he’s stepping back.  

“You’re right, I’m not.” He scoffs after a beat.” Sleep with whoever you want. I’m done.”

Soonyoung leaves you standing there without a second glance, melting into the crowd while you gape. 

Fuck you, you think after the initial shock wears away. The last thing you need is Soonyoung’s permission. He may be the guy you’ve fucked exclusively for the better half of six months but he doesn’t have a monopoly on your time just because you take your clothes off for him. 

Staring at Mingyu’s message, you fire off a response before slipping off the barstool and beelining for the door.

You: send me the address [11:46PM]

The cab ride is filled with Top 40 and the echoes of city noise. A few attempts at conversation fall flat before the driver leaves you alone to stew in silence. Fuming, you stare out the window as streetlights become nothing but streaks in the darkness. Your fingers tap the annoyance out onto leather interior.

Each stop light gives you more time to think about how Soonyoung isn’t your boyfriend. He isn’t your anything. At best he’s an easy fuck that strokes your ego. And even if he asked, which he hadn’t, you don’t do relationships. Commitment isn’t a part of the deal. He takes what you give and he doesn’t complain. At least, not until now.

It’s a casual arrangement for both of your benefit. If he concocted some grandiose illusion it could ever be something more then he’d swiftly come down from that cloud. 

Stubbornness may kill you but there’s a point to prove tonight. That you can do whatever you want, whenever, with whoever you see fit. 

You don’t even realize when the car stops outside a familiar apartment building. 

Mingyu (tinder): lmk when ur outside [12:19AM]

The facade of anger starts crumbling. 

You don’t want to fuck Mingyu. His name hasn’t been at the forefront of your mind in months. None of your old flings have. Even new guys at the bar were placeholders to be ignored after Soonyoung arrived with a dumb joke and too much confidence. 

Somehow, without you realizing, months flew by without an ounce of interest for any guy other than the one you abandoned in a bar. The one guy you’re pretty sure would give you the moon if you asked.

And you screwed it all up to prove a point.

“Sorry, I gave you the wrong address. Can you actually take me to…” you ramble, typing out your final response to someone who you should’ve left firmly in the past.

You: i cant [12:25AM]

After the message goes through, blocking Mingyu’s number is easier than you’d like to admit.

—

The clock ticks closer to the time for early rises to begin rousing when you start losing hope. The carpet outside Soonyoung’s apartment is disgusting but after the first hour, you braved sitting down over the worsening blisters from an impractical shoe choice. Butt numb and phone battery in the single digits, you search for the courage to commute back across town with a bruised ego.

In all the time you’ve spent on the hard ground, not one of his roommates has come home. 

He isn’t aware of your sudden change of heart so there's no reason he’d come rushing home. As far as he’s concerned you're bent in half in some old flames bed without a care for his feelings. Maybe this is how you punish yourself for pretending you’re capable of something like that. Pretending Soonyoung’s feelings haven’t flown to the top of your priorities since that fateful night in his room. Every time you go to his contact the wave of guilt threatens to crush you.

It’s another fifteen minutes before Soonyoung stumbles down the hallway. Alone. 

Even from a distance, evidence of the night after your departure is plain to see. His eyes are glassy and the stench of bar floor rolls off him. Soonyoung is a sentimental drunk but knowing you’re the reason for such a sorry state makes you want to sprint out the door into oncoming traffic.

You feel pathetic and small but he doesn’t even seem to realize you're sitting there as he trips over your legs with a mumbled ‘scuse me,’ which only makes that hole in your chest grow. But you can’t find a word to say. Not with the disappointment clear on his face. 

Disappointment because you were stubbornly refusing to let him in.

It was a mistake. Coming here, leaving the bar, going to the bar, pretending you could do any of this in the first place. Maybe if you stay still he won’t notice you and you can disappear forever once he’s inside. 

But whoever runs things has a vested interest in your love life.

Soonyoung drops his keys after failing to get them in the lock for the nth time. They bounce off the ground and skitter the few inches away where you mourn, gleaming next to your bare thigh. He finally seems to take notice of your presence.

“You’re here?” He teeters, bending at the waist to snatch up his keys and almost ends up head first through the wall. You take mercy and hand them to him instead.

He’s looking straight through you. To the parts you hide beneath snide comments and brush offs, the side that claims none of this is that serious. That he shouldn’t expect anything, that a relationship is so far out of the realm of

“I blocked his number.”

He freezes at the confession, tense around the shoulders like he isn’t even breathing.

It's all too much.

You rock up onto your feet, unbalanced as blood flow is restored to the lower half of your body. You’ve got to get out of here. Somewhere else, anywhere else. Where he isn’t looking at you like that. Halfway down the hall is where you finally hear him speak again.

“Really?” Soonyoung asks, voice flooded with disbelief and maybe something like wonder.

You don’t bother to turn around before answering. “Don’t make it weird.”

More silence. Your shuddering breath and his footsteps fill the hallway. He’s at your back, a hand ghosting along your elbow. “How long have you been here?”

You really don’t want to answer but he needs to hear it. He needs to hear how much you care. Even if it’s scary. 

“Since I left the bar.”

“Don’t leave,” he beckons. 

It sounds like a thank you. Thank you for… not fucking some guy when you could’ve? Thank you for picking him even if you can’t say it out loud? He knows it's a lot, even drunk out of his mind. One day you’ll have to tell him you’d pick him over anything but tonight carries more than you can handle already.

Your hand finds his. A tight grip, sweaty palms not even a consideration because the contact lifts some of the invisible weight off your shoulders.

He ushers you inside, down the hall to his room. In the silent darkness of the apartment, his hands stay on you. Like if for even a second you two aren’t touching you’ll float away. Fingers laced tight as you shyly shuffle behind him.

Your clothes fall to the ground. Not in the rushed heat of usual encounters, but in a desperate need to feel one another: skin on skin. 

Naked in bed, you stake claim to his lap, lost against what comes next. This is usually the easiest part. You know how sex works. But his mouth burns along your palm, savoring the warmth with a long kiss that scratches at your throat. You shake, breath stuttering. Another kiss to your palm, lips gliding across your wrist, your elbow, the curve of your shoulder. Each webs another crack.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper as the dam begins to break.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, voice shaking. 

“You thought I didn’t pick you,” you whimper again, tears welling because you’re embarrassed. Both from how you acted and how you’re crying in the first place. But it feels cathartic. Letting him see the parts no one else gets to witness. 

“A-and I let you.”

“You’re here now. That’s all I care about.”

Somehow he manages to pull you into a tighter hold, crushing your ribs but you don’t need oxygen. You need Soonyoung. You settle in the cradle of his thighs, legs wrapped around his waist and arms locked across his shoulder.

He doesn’t offer a joke to cut the tension. He doesn’t try to play a simpering fool just to see you smile. Soonyoung tangles you in his arms and doesn’t ease up even when you wiggle for more comfort.

When you kiss him, he kisses back. Your mouth opens when he nudges his tongue at the seam of your lips. Arching into his palms at the curve of your spine, you moan as he flips you over and dips under the covers. Your thighs will be bruised come morning but it’s a welcome thought because that means there’s proof of Soonyoung’s claim on you; one you’ve been too stubborn to acknowledge. 

Each stroke of his tongue is another nail in the coffin. Vibrations cue you in that he’s speaking but all you can make out is the break of Soonyoung’s voice when he chants ‘mine,’ into your skin. You refuse to let go of his hand the entire time, while you writhe and shake, brain melting until you shatter with a cry. His fingers stayed interlocked on top of your stomach as your nails bite crescents into the skin. Another reminder that will fade but you look good on him for right now. It’s enough for right now.

His mouth tastes of you when you finally coax him back into another kiss. You lick across his tongue like you could suck away his breath if you tried. 

You fuck him like that. Back in his lap, chest to chest, panting into each other’s mouth in a crude kiss because even an inch of space between your bodies is too much. Not because either of you are horny and need release. It’s a different type of sex you’ve never been familiar with. Closer. Needier.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper again.

“Don’t—fuck—don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” He doesn’t sound sure of it. Maybe you’ll have to talk about what this means later, without the safety of a dark room.

The next apology dies at the tip of your tongue. Focused on nothing but the swell between your thighs, his fingers strumming you into another orgasm you’re unprepared for.

“Soonyoung.” You vibrate into the next wave, pinching tight at his shoulders until his lips find your neck.

You cradle his face between your palms, kissing away whatever worries linger. He doesn't say anything as he spills into the condom; silently refusing let go for what feels like hours, catching your breaths until he slouches back into the mattress and your weight follows.

“I didn’t mean it,” you confess. Your fingers busy etching across the jut muscle along his neck, something to take the focus off how awful you feel.

“Okay…” Soonyoung traces the dip between your shoulder blades; a simple touch leaving you on edge. “What did you mean then?”

“I don’t want…that.” 

“Want what?” His fingers flex. There’s an unusual level of patience from him tonight but rather than annoyance, you’re thankful. You wouldn’t say half the things you should if Soonyoung wasn’t here to ask for them.

“To sleep with other guys.” It’s half of the truth. The more important half, the part lodged in your throat and refusing to come out, is that you don’t want to lose him. And you’ll do what it takes not to let that happen. But you don’t elaborate on that thought.

“Good.” He smiles against your temple. “I don’t want to sleep with other guys either.”

A weak joke but it’s a start back towards normal. Soonyoung might just understand these feelings more than you think. Thank God someone does.

You both pretend to fall asleep after that, silently lingering in the liminal space between dreams and consciousness. Your cheek on his chest, the beat of his heart lulling your own down from an anxious rush. His arms a cocoon from whatever waits on the other side of daylight for you two to figure out.

Together.

Strips of sun slowly brighten between the slats of the blinds. A signal that it’s time to test whatever happened in the last few hours under the daylight.

“Wanna get breakfast?” Soonyoung asks, trailing gentle pecks across your bare shoulder.

“Waffles sound good.”

“Waffles it is.”

In the bright lights of the diner, your head throbs. Half from the hangover threatening to tie your stomach in knots and the other half from crying. Your eyes are still puffy, throat sore from such an emotional display in the privacy of Soonyoung’s room.

Soonyoung sits across the table, fingers tangled with yours on top for everyone to see. A proud declaration you fight not to shy away from. Even as he digs into his food he doesn’t stop tracing the back of your thumb with his own. Second nature. You should let him do it more often. It’s a nice feeling.

Seeing couples constantly touching in public before was something you watched with disgust. Except now you get it. Because despite the rational knowledge that you’d certainly be fine if he let go, there's also the feeling that you’d dissolve in the wind if he even considered the idea.

You’ve picked apart your plate, remains of decimated waffles and eggs pushed across the booth for his consumption. Soonyoung fumbles with the shaker and douses the scrambled yellows in mountainous trails of salt. He glances up at you, cheeks rounded in shock like you’d be able to help him. Biting back a conspiratory smile, you start shoveling the mess into a napkin.

Soonyoung stares, silent as you impale a slice of strawberry on the end of your fork and pop it into your mouth. It’s salty too but you wash it away with a swig of cheap coffee.

“What?” you ask. 

He answers with a peck to the back of your hand, diving into the more edible scraps that escaped his mess as if none of it happened in the first place.

In a sudden moment of clarity, a longing rooted deep in your chest rears its head. You don’t know what love feels like but maybe this is the start of it.

Sitting in a shitty dinner, wearing his clothes, while Soonyoung laughs at some joke you don’t catch because you’re too busy trying to find your breath. It’s good though. Exciting.

But the moment passes with a beat of your heart. It’s just you and him. He’s your something, you the same for him.

And that’s enough right now.

Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie

@gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire

@missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu @sliceofwoozi @writingbarnes

@dokyeomkyeom @christinewithluv @minwonfairy @idkjustlovingbts @wobblewobble822 @futuristicenemychaos

@seungkw1 @horanghaezone @jespecially @scoupsjin @isabellah29

series: @pinklemonadeflav @gyuwoosbabie @dinossaurz @vixensss

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

[rosemarydisaster]

Cassandra Cain is so funny to me and I think she's under utilized because people like to make the robin they like the coolest one ever and Don't know how to incorporate a character that:

Knows how to read people and fight better than Nightwing

Has died way more times than Jason and takes it better

Figured out the bats identities faster than Tim

Has a really fucked up father like Steph, literally wasn't allowed to communicate

Assassin mother, trained to kill, and struggles to talk normally with people like damian

I feel like if people stop viewing characters as a competition for who can be the poorest mew mew or the coolest baddest bitch we would get way more interesting dynamics with the Batfam. I used Cass as an example because she and Duke are the most overlooked (wonder why), but honestly you could make this list with any batkid if you wanted. The thing about having a canon in which each one has their individual series at some point but also take up big chunks of the Batman run is that they're all the main character.

I'm not yucking your yum if you just want to wax poetically about how [insert name] had it the worst or their angst is just so Chef's kiss to you. I love those fics, I'm a sucker for them even if they're out of character. If DC can't keep their characters consistent fans are allowed to make up even sadder scenarios for them. By all means, make the Drakes abusive, make Batman an even shittier father, ignore other batfam if that's what you want to write, fan spaces are for that.

I'm just saying I would also really like a fic that takes into account how different DC writers trying to make their favorite robin the coolest/saddest/most interesting one leads to all of them being a force to reckon with. I really liked How Far Love Goes by Beatrice Eagle. It actually tries to manage most of the Batfam at the same time giving them equal weight which is something not even DC tries.

I think that's it, I kinda want to acknowledge how having the Batfam together is the single most unbalanced chaotic shit that could happen. Especially considering their personal issues and how they intersect with each other and Batman. If you think about it any given character in the family has fucked over at least two of the others and has been fucked over by some of them and it's besties with the rest. DC are cowards.

[lackadaisycats]

I don’t know if you already answered this somewhere else, but, I was wondering…are the side comics canon? Well, there’s a few that probably aren’t, of course(like Mordecai throwing away a baby, I have a feeling that didn’t actually happen—I hope), but there’s some that are more “realistic” per say. Like “Flirtation” and “Sophistry”. Would you say, that, for example, Rocky and Mordecai did interact at some point, in an argument about breakfast foods? Did Mitzy make Mordecai dance(to his dismay)? Did Wick actually knock out Zib with a baseball? So many questions!

Some of them are very definitely a departure from the 'reality' put forth by the main comic's storyline. Viktor didn't actually decapitate Rocky with a giant novelty check and then make the Louisiana Purchase (though maybe he has fantasized about this). Some are canon in that they are pretty foundational backstory elements - Rose drawing portraits with purloined china markers, and Wick sampling the wall texture in his first visit to the Lackadaisy, for instance. Mitzi definitely, definitely set Mordecai up with a dance partner as a premeditated form of torture. And I guess it's pretty clear this point that the Cactus Friend persists. Some occupy a more nebulous space where I'd say it's up to you, the reader. Rocky and Mordecai's waffles-vs-pancakes debate could have happened as told. There surely could have been a drunken baseball episode ending in a concussion. And if you want to believe that a small-time St. Louis gangster, inexplicably left in the care of infant Jimmy Carter, chucked the baby down a sewer manhole because he didn't fit in the mailbox...I won't stop you.

[fairuzfan]

During an appearance at Vassar College in early February, controversial New York Times Jerusalem bureau chief Ethan Bronner was asked about the ongoing evictions of Palestinian families from homes in East Jerusalem which Israel occupied in 1967. Israeli courts have ruled that Jewish settlers could take over some Palestinian homes on the grounds that Jews held title to the properties before Israel was established in 1948.

Bronner was concerned, but not only about Palestinians being made homeless in Israel’s relentless drive to Judaize their city; he was also worried about properties in his West Jerusalem neighborhood, including the building he lives in, partially owned by The New York Times, that was the home of Palestinians made refugees in 1948. Facts about The New York Times’ acquisition of this property are revealed for the first time in this article.

“One of the things that is most worrying not just the Left but a lot of people in Israel about this decision is if the courts in Israel are going to start recognizing property ownership from before the State [of Israel was founded],” Bronner said according to a transcript made by independent reporter Philip Weiss who maintains the blog Mondoweiss.net.

Bronner added, “I think the Palestinians are going to have a fairly big case. I for example live in West Jerusalem. My entire neighborhood was Palestinian before 1948.”

The New York Times-owned property Bronner occupies in the prestigious Qatamon neighborhood, was once the home of Hasan Karmi, a distinguished BBC Arabic Service broadcaster and scholar (1905-2007). Karmi was forced to flee with his family in 1948 as Zionist militias occupied western Jerusalem’s Arab neighborhoods. His was one of an estimated 10,000 Palestinian homes in West Jerusalem that Jews took over that year.

The New York Times bought the property in 1984 in a transaction overseen by columnist Thomas Friedman who was then just beginning his four-year term as Jerusalem bureau chief.

Hasan Karmi’s daughter, Ghada, a physician and well-known author who lives in the United Kingdom, discovered that The New York Times was in – or rather on top of – her childhood home in 2005, when she was working temporarily in Ramallah. One day Karmi received a call from Steven Erlanger, then The New York Times Jerusalem bureau chief, who had just read her 2002 memoir In Search of Fatima.

Karmi recalled in a 15 May 2008 interview on Democracy Now! that Erlanger told her, “I have read your marvelous memoir, and, do you know, I think I’m living above your old house … From the description in your book it must be the same place” (“Conversation with Palestinian Writer and Doctor Ghada Karmi”).

At Erlanger’s invitation, Karmi visited, but did not find the elegant one-story stone house her family had moved into in 1938, that was typical of the homes middle- and upper-class Arabs began to build in Jerusalem suburbs like Qatamon, Talbiya, Baqa, Romema or Lifta toward the end of the 19th century. The original house was still there, but at some point after 1948 two upper stories had been built.

Erlanger, responding to questions posed by The Electronic Intifada via email, described the residence as “built over the Karmi family house – on its air rights, if you like. The [New York Times] is not in [the Karmi] house.” Erlanger described the building as having an “unbroken” facade but that it consisted of “two residences, two ownerships, two heating systems,” and a separate entrance for the upper levels reached via an external staircase on the side.

Questions The Electronic Intifada sent to Thomas Friedman about the purchase of the property were answered by David E. McCraw, Vice President and Assistant General Counsel for the newspaper, who wrote that the original Karmi house itself “was never owned even partly by The Times. The Times purchased in the 1980s a portion of the building that had been constructed above it in the late 1970s.” The purchase was made from “a Canadian family that had bought them from the original builders of the apartment.”

McCraw acknowledged in a follow-up conversation that as a general principle of property law, the “air rights” of a property – the right to build on top of it or use (and access) the space above it – belong to the owner of the ground.

Exiled from Qatamon

Ghada Karmi standing by the front door of her childhood home in Jerusalem’s Qatamon neighborhood in 2005. (Steven Erlanger)

Hasan Karmi hailed originally from Tulkarem, in what is now the northern West Bank. In 1938, he moved his family to Jerusalem to take up a job in the education department of the British-run Palestine Mandate government. Ghada – born around November 1939 (the exact date is unknown because her birth certificate along with all the family’s records, photographs, furniture, personal possessions and an extensive library were lost with the house) – has vivid memories of a happy childhood in what was a well-to-do mixed neighborhood of Arab Christians and Muslims, foreigners and a few Jewish families. The neighbors with whom her parents socialized and with whose children the young Ghada and her siblings played included the Tubbeh, Jouzeh, Wahbeh and Khayyat families. There was also a Jewish family called Kramer, whose father belonged to the Haganah, the Zionist militia that became the Israeli army after May 1948.

Karmi describes the house at length in her memoir – but she told The Electronic Intifada her fondest memories were of the tree-filled garden where she spent much time playing with her brother and sister and the family dog Rex. The lemon and olive trees she remembers are still there, Erlanger noted to The Electronic Intifada.

In the mid-1940s, the lively Qatamon social life gave way to terror as the dark clouds of what would come to be known as the Nakba approached. Violence broke out all over Jerusalem after the UN’s devastating recommendation to partition Palestine without giving its people any say in the matter. Spontaneous riots by Arabs were followed by organized violence from Zionist groups and mutual retaliatory attacks that claimed lives from both communities. This climate provided the pretext for the Haganah’s premeditated campaign to seize Jerusalem.

Poorly armed and disorganized Arab irregulars, who had nevertheless succeeded in disrupting Zionist supply convoys to Jerusalem, proved no match for highly-trained and well-armed Zionist militias which, on the orders of David Ben-Gurion, began a well-planned campaign to conquer the western parts of the city. The occupation of western Jerusalem and some 40 villages in its vicinity was executed as part of the Haganah’s “Plan Dalet.” These events are well documented in books including Benny Morris’ The birth of the Palestinian refugee problem, 1947-1949 (1987), Walid Khalidi’s (ed.) All That Remains: The Palestinian Villages Occupied and Depopulated by Israel in 1948 (1992), Salim Tamari’s (ed.) Jerusalem 1948: The Arab Neighborhoods and their Fate in the War (1999) and Ilan Pappe’s The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine (2006).

Zionist militias used frequent bombings of Arab civilians to terrorize residents into fleeing. These attacks were amplified by posters and warnings broadcast over loudspeakers that those choosing to remain behind would share the fate of those killed in atrocities.

Karmi wrote that one night in November 1947, their neighbor Kramer came to see her father and said, “I have come to tell you at some risk to myself to take your family and leave Jerusalem as soon as possible …. Please believe me, it is not safe here.” Many Qatamon families left after the Zionist bombing of the nearby Semiramis Hotel, which killed 26 civilians including the Spanish consul-general, on the night of 4-5 January 1948.

The Karmis however held on, and Ghada records in her memoir her mother steadfastly saying, “The Jews are not going to drive me out of my house … Others may go if they like, but we’re not giving in.”

Toward the end of April, bombardment by Zionist militias against virtually undefended Arab areas became so heavy, and the terror generated by the Deir Yassin massacre earlier that month so intense, that the Karmis relented and departed by taxi for Damascus, via Amman, with nothing but a few clothes. Their intention was to bring the children to safety at their maternal grandparents’ house while the adults would return home to Jerusalem. A few days after reaching Damascus the elder Karmis tried to return to Jerusalem but were unable to do so. So began the family’s exile that continues to this day.

As Arabs left their homes, Jews were moved in by the Haganah. “While the cleansing of Qatamon went on,” Itzhak Levy, the head of Haganah intelligence in Jerusalem recalled, “pillage and robbery began. Soldiers and citizens took part in it. They broke into the houses and took from them furniture, clothing, electric equipment and food” (quoted in Pappe, p.99). Meron Benvenisti, an Israeli scholar and former deputy mayor of Jerusalem, wrote in his book Sacred Landscape of personally witnessing the “looting of Arab homes in Qatamon” as a boy. Palestinians also lost art work, financial instruments and – like the Karmis – irreplaceable family records, as the fabric of a society and a way of life were destroyed.

Jerusalem return denied

The Karmis’ story is a variation of what happened to tens of thousands of Jerusalem-area Palestinians during the Nakba, in which approximately 750,000 Palestinians were expelled or fled from their homes all over the country and never allowed to return. (In my book One Country I describe the departure under similar circumstances of my mother’s family from Lifta-Romema.)

As of 1997, there were 84,000 living West Jerusalem refugees (23,000 born before 1948), according to Tamari. Half lived in the West Bank, many just miles from their original homes, but thousands of others were spread across Jordan, Lebanon, Syria and the Gaza Strip.

Arab property is well-documented through administrative and UN records, but tracing the fate of an individual house or proving title is extremely difficult if not impossible for Palestinians scattered, exiled and forbidden from returning home. Some, who have foreign passports that allowed them to make brief visits, have attempted to locate their family properties. In recent years a small Israeli group called Zochrot (Remembering) has even joined in – taking some displaced Palestinians back to their original villages and homes, whose traces Israel often made deliberate efforts to conceal or destroy. But such activities are not welcomed by most Israeli Jews still in denial about their state’s genesis.

Ghada Karmi recalls an earlier attempt to revisit her family home in 1998. The residents were unwelcoming and would not give her the phone number of the landlord, though a plaque outside bore the name “Ben-Porat.”

The owner of the original, lower-level house at the time The New York Times bought the upper levels was Yoram Ben-Porat, an economics professor who became president of the Hebrew University and was killed with his wife and young son in a road accident in October 1992. According to Erlanger, the house remained with heirs from the Ben-Porat family who rented it out until it was sold in 2005 to an Israeli couple who did some remodeling. It is unknown when the Ben-Porats acquired the house or if they were the ones who had the upper levels built.

During Karmi’s 2005 visit, Erlanger invited her to see his part of the house and introduced her to the Israeli tenants in the lower level who gave her free access while Erlanger took photographs. For Karmi, revisiting the house was disconcerting. She described to The Electronic Intifada its occupants as “Ashkenazi Jewish Israelis, liberals, nice people who wanted to be nice.” She felt like asking them, “how can you live here knowing this is an Arab house, knowing this was once owned by Arabs, what goes through your mind?” But, she explained, “in the way people have of not wanting to upset people who appear to be nice, I didn’t say anything.”

The New York Times

In the early years after their original residents left, many of the former Arab neighborhoods were run down. But in the 1970s, wealthier Israeli Jews began to gentrify them and acquiring an old Arab house became a status symbol. Today, Israeli real estate agencies list even small apartments in Qatamon for hundreds of thousands of dollars or more, and house prices can run into the millions. In Jerusalem, such homes have become popular especially with wealthy American Jews, according to Pappe. The New York Times did not disclose what it paid for the Qatamon property.

It was a curious decision for The New York Times to have purchased part of what must obviously have been property with – at the very least – a political, moral and legal cloud over its title. Asked whether The New York Times or Friedman had made any effort to learn the history of the property, the newspaper responded, “Neither The Times nor Mr. Friedman knew who owned the original ground floor prior to 1948.”

As Friedman prepared to make the move to Jerusalem from Beirut where he was covering the Lebanon war in the early 1980s, The Times hired an Israeli real estate agent to help him locate a home. According to McCraw, Friedman’s wife Ann went ahead to Jerusalem and looked at properties “and she, working with the agent, made the selection for The Times.” During the process Friedman visited Jerusalem and looked at properties as well, a fact he mentions in his book From Beirut to Jerusalem. By the time the property was selected, Friedman had moved permanently to Jerusalem and oversaw the closing.

The choice of the Qatamon property – over several modern apartments that the real estate agent also showed – makes The New York Times a protagonist and interested party in one of the most difficult aspects of the Palestine conflict: the property and refugee rights of Palestinians that Israel has adamantly denied. It also raises interesting questions about what such choices have on news coverage – with which the newspaper itself has had to grapple.

In 2002, an Electronic Intifada article partly attributed the pervasive underreporting of Israeli violence against Palestinians to “a structural geographic bias” – the fact that “most US news organizations who have reporters on the ground base them in Tel Aviv or west Jerusalem, very far from the places where Palestinians are being killed and bombarded on a daily basis” ( Michael Brown and Ali Abunimah, “Killings of dozens once again called ‘period of calm’ by US media, 20 September 2002).

In 2005, The New York Times’ then Public Editor Daniel Okrent echoed this criticism, writing:

“The Times, like virtually every American news organization, maintains its bureau in West Jerusalem. Its reporters and their families shop in the same markets, walk the same streets and sit in the same cafes that have long been at risk of terrorist attack. Some advocates of the Palestinian cause call this ‘structural geographic bias.’” (“The Hottest Button: How The Times Covers Israel and Palestine,” 24 April 2005).

Okrent recommended that in order to broaden the view of the newspaper’s reporters, it should locate a correspondent in Ramallah or Gaza – where she or he would share the daily experiences, concerns and risks of Palestinians. This advice went unheeded, just as Executive Editor Bill Keller recently publicly rejected the advice of the current public editor that current Jerusalem Bureau Chief Ethan Bronner should be reassigned because of the conflict of interest created by Bronner’s son’s voluntary enlistment in the Israeli army.

Thus, in a sense, Bronner’s structural and personal identification with Israel has become complete: when the younger Bronner joins army attacks in Gaza, fires tear gas canisters or live bullets at nonviolent demonstrators trying to save their land from confiscation in West Bank villages, or conducts night arrest raids in Ramallah or Nablus – as he may well be ordered to do – his father will root for him, worry about him, perhaps hope that his enemies will fall in place of his son, as any Israeli parent would. And on weekends, the elder Bronner will await his soldier-son’s homecoming to a property whose true heirs live every day, like millions of Palestinians, with the unacknowledged trauma, and enduring injustice of dispossession and exile.

[transmutationisms]

it was a bit of a throwaway line but i thought it was interesting actually that armand called louis "the first capitalist vampire" ---where what he means is that he perceives a degree of functional indifference to louis's engagement with art and his designs on real estate and so forth---it could be any commodity, the point is the bet louis makes on its future value; his eye for artistic merit may or may not have been a 'purely' aesthetic endeavour for him at some point but is now a tool subsumed into his economic activity. this also suggests that armand, at least, sees other vampires as having related to money differently. clearly some have it (lestat, for example) but to call louis a capitalist means not just having wealth but pursuing its expansion: louis is specifically advancing capital with the expectation of returning more later. it's fairly pointless activity of course, in the way that capitalism always is at heart, because the goal is not to produce life or pleasure or even one's own flourishing but to produce wealth in and for itself. the way louis relates to eternal life is still virtually devoid of actual pleasure or self-indulgence: he can be a capitalist accumulating surplus value off other people's labour but he can't be a mere hedonist or wealthy aesthete like lestat. and i don't think louis himself even understands the distinction armand's line points to

[sneakyboymerlin]

My hot take is that if Merlin didn’t love Arthur, the Disir episode would have still gone exactly the same.

[jeons-catalyst]

Hey this might seem like an odd question but if you were asked to describe Taehyung and Jungkook’s dynamic, how would you? I really love the way you explain things so i would love to know what you think about their dynamic. Thanks

Hey anon,

The question isn’t odd at all so don’t worry.

The very first thing i’ll say about taekook as a pair is that their relationship with each other is extremely misunderstood. They are misunderstood by the multitude of shippers they have and it has been like this since the very beginning.

I think there is a part of Jk that will always hold some deep gratitude towards Tae because he was instrumental in helping him break out of his shy shell. I don’t think anyone can deny that Jk has some sort of soft spot for Taehyung. I think that when taekook were younger, Jk liked Tae so much and liked following him around like a puppy because Tae was the only member in the band he could completely be himself with (at some point). This was the member he could goof around with, get in trouble together with, do fun things together with and most importantly, i think for a time being Tae was sort of his safe place in public and/or uncomfortable settings. Jk mentioned that Tae helped him break out of his shy shell so i can imagine that anytime Jk felt shy or anxious while in public, he would seek out Tae because that is where he felt most comfortable mainly because of Tae’s personality. Tae was quirky, fun and weird in a good way. Being around him guaranteed anyone a fun filled time so i guess things like this helped put Jungkook at ease.

Now, i don’t mean that he didn’t feel comfortable with his other hyungs but because they were much older than he was and there was always a certain boundary he couldn’t cross whereas with Tae, he could to totally feel like he had a same age friend he could have fun with and just be a kid with without having to worry about coming off disrespectful or crossing boundaries. We have to remember that Jk was only a kid when he joined bighit. He was 15 years old. What do typical 15 year olds do? They play with their friends after school, goof around together and just have fun. Jk was the youngest stuck with 6 other boys older than him whom he knew he had to respect to a certain degree. Tae to him was like that same age friend he was missing in a normal life setting and craved so bad. Watching fetus taekook, you cannot miss how close those two were and how much Jungkook liked Taehyung and how much Taehyung kinda took Jungkook under his wing.

In my opinion, taekook are friends who really love and care about each other and connect in so many ways, especially in things that are fun. I however don’t think these two have ever really had that much of a deep emotional connection. What i mean by this is, i think their interests in each other is mostly centered around the fun things they can do together and not how many deep talks they can have or how much they can understand each other’s hearts. Let me give you examples. When Jk was younger, he would almost always pick Tae to play games with. Even when he was asked who he wanted to share a room with, he picked Tae. What was interesting wasn’t the fact that he picked Tae but the reason he did. Some other person might have said something like “ i picked X because we get along well so i know we wouldn’t fight” or “ i picked Y because i he is neat and doesn’t leave a mess” but Jk said he picked Tae so that they could play games all night long. Mind you this was fetus Jk who was less media trained and pretty much blurted things out as he thought them.

Now let’s look at how he picked Jimin (for example). When Jk was asked who gives him most comfort, it was Jimin, who knows him best, it was Jimin, how he overcame the harsh trainee life, it was Jimin, who influenced him the most, it was Jimin, who was easiest to talk to, it was Jimin, who his heart connected to, it was Jimin. Plus he has attributed his ability to be kind and thoughtful to Jimin several times. Just by looking at this two, you can see what i mean when i say i don’t think Taekook ever had that much of an emotional connection.

Let’s look at another example. The deepest things Jk has ever said about Tae is that Tae helped him break out out of his shy shell. He has also called Tae innocent and said he liked tae’s innocence. Other than this, you would mostly only ever hear Jk commenting on or praising Tae’s looks. Let’s use Jimin as an example again. Jk has spoken about Jimin’s personality, his kindness, how caring he is, how hardworking he is. Jk was asked to describe Jimin’s charm and he said it was his thoughtfulness and how considerate he is of others. Jk gets praised for being kind and thoughtful towards the manager and his first thought is to attribute it to Jimin. Jk sits on a show and talks about how much he admires Jimin’s zeal and drive and how hardworking he is. Jk talks about how beautiful Jimin’s personality is and how nice he is. When Jk talks about Jimin, he talks about who jimin is and not what he is. Now don’t get me wrong. You look around and you can find clips of Jk complimenting other members but not the same way he does Jimin. When Jk talks about Namjoon, you get the sense that he really admires him and sees him as a mentor of sorts but when he talks about Jimin, you literally feel just how much he knows Jimin and connects with him on a deeper level. It is not the same with Tae in my opinion. The highest thing one would learn about Tae after listening to Jk talk about him is that he is handsome. Jk rarely ( not never) , talks about anything else.

The way i see taekook now, they are two friends who enjoy spending time with each other doing something fun. I think they those types of friends who always need a reason to hang out and hanging out is probably more fun for them with other people around. I don’t see Jk just going to sit in Taehyung’s room for hours doing nothing. I see Taekook spending hours, even days together when they have something to keep them occupied. That thing gets taken away and they don’t feel the need to be around each other much. They are in my opinion, typical guy friends. I think they really enjoy talking about music and songs. I think they recommend alot of songs to each other too, i think they enjoy doing outdoor activities together and attending concerts together too. Jk did say it is fun when he is with Taehyung so i think one of the greatest things that bonds them together is the fun. This would explain why somethings began to get awkward with them when they started spending more time apart and Tae starting becoming quieter. I think Tae’s quirky and fun personality is one lf the things jk really likes about him and one of the ways they relate to each other the most. Take that away and these two will still have alot of love for each other but will probably not feel the need to be together much.

Watching their Vlive from May 2020 and the Vminkook Vlive from November 2021 explained so many things about Taekook’s dynamic as adults. When taekook were younger, putting them together was guaranteed fun but now as adults, it feels like they barely have anything to talk to each other about if they are not doing some activity. Think of their instagram Live from February 2023. Taekookers watched that Live and saw two lovers being all shy and giggly but i saw two people who didn’t know what to say to each other so sat in awkward silence. It’s not like i expected them to start discussing family secrets on Live but the conversation just doesn’t flow as you would expect. I think this is partly because they have never been used to just sitting and having conversations or getting to know each other on a deeper level. They both don’t seem like people who are good at conversations so gaming and goofing around or going out to have fun always the place of just sitting and talking. They also don’t seem to rely on each other for emotional support. I cannot recall a single time i ever saw Jk seek Tae out when he needed emotional support. This ofcourse doesn’t mean they don’t care about each other. Jungkook hugging and comforting Tae during MAMA 2018 was proof that Jk hurts when Tae hurts but that isn’t exclusive to Tae. He hurts when all his members hurt and he made that clear in his song “begin”. You just never see him or hear him talking about depending on Tae for emotional support the way he has mentioned needing it from Jimin.

Jimin and Jungkook on the other hand seem like they actually converse with each other. I can think of that moment in BV when Jungkook was telling Jimin about his day and how sand fleas got stuck under his shoes and Jimin just listened attentively. Or in the documentary when Jimin talked to Jungkook about how his friend said he thought Jimin was depressed and Jk just listened. These are such simple moments but they tell so much about Jikook’s dynamic. Jk isn’t much of a talker so seeing him actively telling Jimin about his day and about the sand fleas that got stuck under his shoes showed how much Jimin had created a space where Jk felt comfortable enough to just talk about even the little things like sand fleas. I don’t think i have ever seen taekook like that.

I also think Tae might kinda see Jungkook as the closest thing he has to a sibling. I remember Tae saying that he isn’t close to his siblings and they only speak to each other a few times a year so it is possible that Jungkook feels and has always felt like a sibling to him. Maybe he is having the kinda close relationship he always wanted to have with his siblings, with Jungkook.

So in a nutshell, Taekook are two besties who love and care about each other and are also very comfortable being affectionate with each other but unfortunately, the softness and physical affection that has always been present in their dynamic gets mistaken for romance.

I think this is the best way i can describe the way i perceive taekook’s relationship based on their words and actions.

Hope this answered your question anon💜

[serialunaliver]

what's wrong with my BRAIN

ok so I see an actual neurologist but I want to know if anyone on here has experienced what i'm talking about and knows what it could be?

basically, I get these 'blips' in my head where everything kind of freezes for a second and I get so dizzy and uncomfortable I squeeze my eyes shut and stay still until it ends (that's my body's automatic response). sometimes i'll also automatically hit my face. these 'blips' typically only last 1-2 seconds but sometimes they'll happen for a longer amount of time and at that point it's debilitating, i'm scared to be in parking lots because I could literally freeze in front of a car.

what seems to be some triggers:

- being in large department stores

- a sudden change in temperature (for example entering a freezing room or eating freezing food)

- a sudden change in lighting

- extreme anger

but otherwise it's literally out of fucking nowhere??? like one day it happened every few seconds so I could barely walk. this has been going on for years now and I tried to ignore it because i've got so much shit going on physically/mentally that it didn't bother me enough to care, but I would enjoy it NOT happening, so does anyone know if there's a name for what i'm describing? would make it easier to tell a neurologist if I knew wtf was going on

[hallowpen]

I have a question about that scene in Love Sea. I saw your post saying we could ask you about Thailand culture and I was wondering what your interpretation of it was since folks on here had a lot to say about colorism. If I'm overstepping, please feel free to ignore me. I'm not meaning to. I'm just curious what the Thai perspective is.

I'd like to start this off by saying that any genuine curiosity is never an overstep to me. In fact, I appreciate anybody who feels like they can come to me to have these types of conversations rather than making any uninformed generalizations. It's why I made that post to begin with 😊😊😊

I have to admit, that I had no intention of watching Love Sea until after it had finished airing... and mostly for the sapphic cut hehe But my partner is watching it as it airs and when I tried to ask for clarification about the scene you were referring to, I found it better for me to just watch the episode in full myself. So I did...

I think I'm going to tackle the colorism culture that exists in Thailand before I analyze anything having to do with the series. My father is black (Haitian) and my mother is Thai... and that resulted in some very unique experiences for me. Please keep that in mind, as these experiences are going to be what inform my cultural viewpoint.

Colorism exists as a systemic prejudice in Thai culture. The beauty industry, the entertainment industry, and even some cultural traditions place a higher value on lighter skin which is seen as 'preferable' and more attractive than darker skin (especially if you are a woman). It ranges anywhere from what I consider to be ignorant colorism... where someone might say something without even realizing it has racist undertones... to blatant racism where words like ไอ้ดำ are thrown in our faces and we are very obviously being judged. For example, a disagreement on political views could easily become about a person's skin color, rather than a comment on the actual discussions being had (i.e. Nam Patcharaporn). Like all countries, these prejudices vary from place to place. I've been involved in very uncomfortable situations (to put it lightly) in Pattaya... but other than familial issues (I won't get in to any of that) I've never really experienced racism in Pathum Wan. Have things gotten better in more recent years? Slightly. But a lot still needs to be done to reverse racist prejudices and promote a more inclusive society. It's why something like The Last Case and Ester Oruche's casting made me very emotional [X]

Now...on to Love Sea: I actually took Mut's remarks on Rak's "pale skin" to be a pointed mini-commentary on colorism (which if that really is the case...well done Mame!) It read to me as... these are the things you value? that you (Rak) put yourself above me (Mut) for? You (Rak) clearly expect me (Mut) to find you appealing and attractive but it's not going to go according to what you think. I could be way off base, but I do so hope that that was its intended purpose because it makes such a small moment feel like a well earned victory to someone in Mut's shoes.