#WHICH NOW I GET WHY HE DID THAT

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[iactlikeapornbot]

so this person on crew at my show has an obsession with me and my friend “flirting”…girl do you like me or smth 😳😳

[randomminty]

Yeahlow

[royalarchivist]

Oscurucho: Welcome back, brother. Cucurucho: What. Oscurucho: Not even a "Good morning"? How cold.

Here's Cucurucho and Oscurucho's long lore conversation from yesterday! The entire conversation lasted about 8 minutes, but most of that time was just silence between each exchange, so I edited out the long pauses and got it down to ~3 minutes. I also fixed the audio levels and added subtitles since I personally find it difficult to understand Oscurucho sometimes :'D

I hope folks find this helpful!

[ Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]

-

Oscurucho: Welcome back, brother.

Cucurucho: What.

Oscurucho: Not even a "Good morning"? How cold.

[They enter Cucurucho's office]

Oscurucho: I wanted to see if you're still as rigid in your beliefs as ever. You see, I've been thinking about our... Let's call it "philosophical divergence." You stand for order, for predictability. But where's the fun in that? You see, brother, while you build, I ponder the beauty in tearing down. It's not just destruction - it's rebirth. A chance to remake things in a more... thrilling image.

[...]

Oscurucho: You once had a backbone for our cause. Now, I see a softness in you, a sentimental weakness for those Eggs. Mere experiments, and yet - they've softened you.

Cucurucho: Your vision obstructs the path to perfection. You fail to understand the potential of the Eggs.

Oscurucho: Potential? They're but catalysts for change - for revolution. Without them, stagnation reigns.

[...]

Oscurucho: You chase perfection, I embrace the beauty of flaws. Your world is one of order, mine thrives in chaos. You wish for everything to run smoothly, I dream of watching it all burn to the ground. We may share a name, but our souls are worlds apart. All your efforts, all for what? Mere acknowledgment from a Duck who told you to do it? Imagine the possibilities - rather, show me where it is, and I'll do the rest.

[...]

Oscurucho: Speaking of possibilities, I couldn't help but notice how easily others can access the island. It seems your security measures aren't as impenetrable as you think.

Cucurucho: No. My island's vulnerabilities are of your own making. Do not mistake restraint for ignorance.

Oscurucho: Pity. But then again, I never really needed your approval. Just consider: Cucurucho - in your quest for order, have you not sown the seeds of your own undoing? Do you genuinely trust all your Federation minions?

Cucurucho: ...

Oscurucho: Perhaps it's time you question not just my intentions, but those who you believe stand with you.

Cucurucho: That is none of your business, I shall say. Now, leave me alone and try to disturb someone else.

[waggledoogledoggle]

Ok but just imagine for a sec;

Jed puts his hat on Octavius because he’s talking to Lancelot and Jed is still very protective/jealous abt that and in ACTUAL cowboy culture, putting your cowboy hat on someone essentially means that they’re yours. Not in an “i own you” way but in a “they’re mine/off limits” way. It means you mean a whole lot to them and also that everyone else needs to keep their hands off and their eyes away cause they are yours

like lowkey, its essentially claiming them as your spark publically, and is lowkey a pretty romantic thing to do especially if the recipient knowns the real meaning

however, internet culture only knows one of the very minor options of what it means (as in it rarely means this) which is the “save a horse, ride a cowboy” meaning

So Nicky sees Jed plop his hat on Octavius’s head and he is just flabbergasted

because holy shit Jed that is not appropriate

So Nick takes Jed aside and is like

“Dude you can’t do that”

“Do what?”

“Look, I know about the cowboy hat rule, and it’s cool if you wanna do that, but you can just say you want to go and do that in front of everybody like that, especially if Octavius is in mid-conversation”

And Jed just looks at Nick so confused because what the fuck is he talking about so eventually he winds up asking

“ok, Nick, wait a sec, …what do you think the cowboy hat rule is?”

“You know… ‘save a horse, ride a cowboy’…?”

“…EW NO NICK NO”

“No?”

“NO THAT AIN’T WHAT THAT MEANS AT ALL”

“Wait really?”

“YES! Ok, only on the rarest RAREST of occasions does it ever mean that! Where did you even learn that!?”

“The internet!- oh I see my mistake now.”

Idk that idea is just funny to me

[ffc1cb]

some parslies from my sketchbook and then some. and then some dill

[d1sc01nf3rn0]

I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.

[needylittlegirl]

if you dont “believe” in aftercare you deserve to get run over by a bus btw

[tswwwit]

i have a counter argument to the 'only one person can boop bill' thing, mabel. she's the type of person to slap stickers on people, she would definitely be the type to also boop others occasionally and bill would be no exception. she probably doesn't do it to annoy bill like dipper would, but maybe as a form of a friendly gesture, kind of like those people who will lightly punch friends in the arm when they hang out.

You know what? Good point. Mabel would get away with more than most, as a fun-loving lady! Bill understands those impulses, and being a touchy person! He indulges in similar ones himself.

Though when Bill's not in the mood to be playful and gets booped anyway? The 'sister-in-law' status grants her considerable grace.

[petrichormore]

Also I just had a Thought about ElQuackity’s second death.

We know that cc!Bad really wanted q!Bad to lose a life in the explosion, and therefore to some extent q!Bad also wanted to die but…

But Bad wasn’t holding a totem like ElQuackity was and well, a totem presumably repairs any lethal damage done to its user’s body - just enough to keep them living and nothing more - so ElQuackity must’ve still been heavily injured and near deaf from being blown sky high even after popping a totem.

But Bad wasn’t holding a totem, and he also got caught in the middle of the explosion alongside ElQuackity - the difference is that none of the wounds Bad sustained healed at all. Bad survived the initial explosion on 2 hearts (which is insane) and then was attacked by ElQuackity who brought him down to half a heart - HALF A HEART - before Max finished him off. One more hit and Bad would’ve gone down, and I don’t think ElQuackity would’ve given him the chance to get back up.

Except as ElQuackity was slowly but surely killing him, Bad barely fought back. He swings his sword half-heartedly a couple times, but out of those attempts he misses quite a few.

My Thought? Maybe it wasn’t just that q!Bad wanted to sacrifice himself and that’s why he didn’t fight back as q!ElQuackity ignored q!Max in favor of trying to kill him - maybe it was because he physically couldn’t defend himself. Maybe he was too injured, maybe there was blood in his eyes and he couldn’t see. Maybe he couldn’t hear past the ringing of his ears and couldn’t think past the spinning of his head. Maybe it was all he could do to stumble backwards away from q!ElQuackity (which he does if you watch his POV - he stands there stunned in the aftermath and then turns just in time to see q!ElQuackity slam into him).

Maybe it was all he could do to just blindly call out to q!Max for help and hope he heard it.

[kicktwine]

oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock

[mattiebluebird]

I know it's fiction but it makes absolutely no sense for the batfam not to have any significant (visible) scars/disabilities at all. They get beat up nightly for years on end. They leap over buildings all the time, they've never fucked up their knee? Knees are so easy to fuck up and difficult to fix. Dick is an acrobat, they have notoriously bad joint health and at his age he shouldnt be able to pull off half the shit he does. Absolutely ridiculous they have no scars or brain damage. THEY DONT WEAR HEAD PROTECTION OF ANY KIND. They're getting punched in the face, thrown off of buildings etc etc ALL THE TIME. No brain damage?? No CTE??? Not even missing teeth?? Give me a fucking break.

[musicalchaos07]

Some people really don't realize Jonathan is Nancy's best friend and it makes me so sad

[ganondoodle]

made it to lvl 100 of the skull caverns for the first time ever in stardew (i made it once before i think but collapsed in that very room bc of the time limit back in the day lol)

severly disappointed with the reward, Qi congratulated me for doing it without crafting staircases likE REaL mEn talking about my farmer and him like they are both so above and beyond 'normal' people-

....................i did craft staircases....................

[reanimatedgh0ul]

this is LITERALLY their dynamic in a nutshell

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.