#WHILE HAVING A WHOLE ASS GIRLFRIEND MIGHT I ADD

[p4nishers]

why cant gay ppl just say "i love you" tf is "there's nobody in this world i trust with my son more than you" ???

[midnightwriter21]

jjk hcs: the jjk boys as boyfriends

characters: yuji itadori, megumi fushiguro, yuta okkotsu

warnings: none (i think?)

AN: if there’s anymore boyfriend hcs that you’d like to see lmk!! read gojo & nanami as boyfriends HERE

YUJI ITADORI

oh girl i am JEALOUS

he can be a little air headed at times but he’s the sweetest bf ever

i say he’s air headed but he’s actually very attentive

you get half an inch trimmed off your hair?

he notices immediately

“babe your hair looks great!”

notices everything about you actually

from your favorite color

to the brand of PENS you prefer to use

who tf notices the brand of pens people use?!?

yuji does

yk the tiktoks of boys picking entire BUSHES of flowers for their girlfriends

that’s him.

he straight up rips a whole bush out of the ground from the front of jujutsu high to give to you

principal yaga was not amused

gojo was tho

HE PRINTS OUT YOUR INSTAGRAM PICTURES TO REPLACE THE POSTERS OF MODELS ON HIS WALL

he’s so proud that your his girl fr

oh and he’s gotta hella pet names for you too

they’re all super basic

babe, sweetheart, cutie, etc.

he flirts w u like y’all aren’t together

awful pickup lines and everything

“do you have a mirror in ur pants? cause i can see myself in them.”

if u don’t think he’s the cutest then u can go argue with the wall bye

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO

he has me in a chokehold

anyways

at the beginning of y’all’s relationship he’s awkward as fuck

but he eases up pretty quickly

veryyyyyy private with y’all’s relationship

if you somehow get him to hold your hand in public let alone give you a kiss?!?

girl count ur blessings fr

and it’s not bc he’s embarrassed of your relationship or anything no ma’am

it’s bc he would NEVER hear the end of it from gojo, nobara, and yuji

valid excuse

but when you two are alone?

oh girl it’s like he’s glued to you

when i say clingy? i mean it

also

king of nap time!!

he’s kidnapping u, bring you to his dorm room, dropping u on the bed, and laying completely on top of you

swear it’s his solution to everything

ur tired? it’s nap time

sad abt something? it’s nap time

a curse beat ur ass? it’s nap time

gojo is being annoying? it’s nap time

nap time cures everything ong

he’s not too crazy w the pet names

in private he’ll call you babe

in public you’re lucky if he adds a -chan to ur name lol

he’s so pretty boy

also can we appreciate his gorgeous luscious eyelashes?

no? okay

YUTA OKKOTSU

i would give my first born to make him feel happy, safe, and loved

KING OF MY HEART

he’s so baby

he’s the type of bf that no matter how long y’all have been dating he still gets flustered over you

y’all been together for an hour? he’s blushing when you give him a kiss on the cheek

y’all been together for a week? he’s blushing when you give him a kiss on the cheek

y’all been together for a year? he’s BLUSHING WHEN YOU GIVE HIM A KISS ON THE CHEEK

HE. IS. BLUSHING.

which is so incredibly endearing and innocent

but don’t get me wrong

mess with this man too much?

oh he’ll snap

he has the patience of a saint. but when it runs out?

oh ur in for it miss gurl

period.

teasing him a lil too much tryna make him flustered

when he finally snaps he is switching that dynamic up real quick

now he’s the one smirking and feeling all smug while you’re the one with the bright red face

ahem…

anyways

yuta’s love for you is very intense

now don’t start thinking HE is intense cause no

i mean yuta loves you so much that he might just crawl up inside ur body and live there

that type of intense

you occupy his mind 99.9% of the time

he’s on a mission and has time to stroll through the mall

“oh y/n would like that” aND HE’S BUYING IT

he’s chit chatting with inumaki and panda

best believe he finds a way to bring you up in conversation

“oh! that reminds me y/n said something the other day about…”

he is the softest ever when it comes to pet names

sweetheart, my love, princess, etc.

i’m so soft for him he deserve the world

[concretecultist]

Sunshine (muscle memory pt. 2)

summary: "true love never leaves, sometimes it just gets lost temporarily. lost in pride and ego, lost in confusion and misunderstanding. but love being lost is never the end; sometimes love needs to breathe before it finds home again."

word count: 17.6k

pairing: reader x noah sebastian

warnings: angst, talks of mental health, feelings of guilt, mentions of marijuana usage, crying, dad!noah, FLUFF

THIS IS PURE FICTION AND IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!!!

A/N: yeah so idk how to write short stories really 😭 so this is a long one!! Please make sure to comment and reblog as it helps us writers out immensely!! Much love!

~Berry🫐

“You’re so full of shit!,”

Matt had come back into town, rushing to tell Noah and the guys what had happened while he was out. Noah, Nicholas and Jolly were playing a video game on the big screen when Matt rushed in, Folio nodding in and out of sleep with a bag of chips in his hands after facing a whole blunt by himself.

“Bro, I know what I fucking saw,” Matt was seething, does Noah really think he would lie about something like this? “This wasn’t some Y/N doppelgänger, it was Y/N and she had a baby, a little girl.. who looks just like you might I add. It’s weird!,”

Noah felt like his stomach fell out of his ass. Matt has to be bullshitting. Maybe you were babysitting? There’s no way you had a baby. There’s no way he had a baby.

“It’s hard to tell who babies look like when they’re still that young. Maybe the guy who told you to go away was her new boyfriend,” Jolly tried to justify.

Matt frowned at Jolly’s disposition. Everyone in this room knew you like the palm of their hands. It took you a while to open up to Noah and become his girlfriend and even longer to open up to them to consider them playfully-annoying brothers.

“She’s not like that,” Nicholas clicked away at his controller, brows furrowing as he soaks in the conversation.

Matt clapped his hands and pointed to Nicholas as if to say that the point he made was based, and it was.

Nicholas continued speaking while keeping his eyes trained on the screen, absolutely obliterating the characters within the game, “I mean think about it. If what Matt is saying is true-,”

“And it is!,” Matt interjected but all Nicholas did was roll his eyes and continue speaking,

“-Then the time between Noah and Y/N breaking up versus now, would not be enough time for her to get pregnant by someone else,”

“One night stand after they broke up?,” Folio answered absentmindedly.

“You know damn well that’s not how Y/N is,” Matt just wanted to pull his hair out, “If you saw that baby then you guys would see I’m not lying,”

Noah felt like he might be sick. Even if you two broke up, you would tell him that you were pregnant… right?

But then again, the last few months of your relationship, he wasn’t there, emotionally nor physically so he can’t blame you if you didn’t. It doesn’t hurt any less though and he doesn’t know what to believe.

“Where the hell did you even see her? I figured she jumped ship,” Noah shrugged, “And even if this is the case, Matt. She blocked all of us on… o-on everything so how do you expect me to go about this?,”

The silence from the blond was enough of an answer for Noah but Matt’s silence didn’t mean he didn’t have one.

“Why are you so adamant on denying this?,”

“I’m not!,” Noah let his character go idle long enough for Nicholas to say fuck it and actually pause the entire game, “I just don’t know what to do! I mean, if she acted like she didn’t want to see you then what makes you think she’ll want to see me?,”

The guys knew Noah had a point, but he should still try.

“It’s Sunday. Every other Sunday she goes to the markets and you should know that because you would always be at the studio with Jolly so she would take me with her,” Matt stood there with his arms crossed, he watched the gears turn in Noah’s head but he knew the brunet still wasn’t getting it.

“Okay?,” Noah was stumped.

“Which means she still has her routines, dork!,” he tapped his fingers to his temple as if to tell Noah to ‘fucking think’

“Meaning on Wednesday, she’ll be at the actual grocery store getting what she couldn’t at the market,” Nicholas answered for Matt.

“Are we sure any of this is a good idea?,” Jolly probed, “If you guys ended mutually then one, why would she not tell you, two, why would she block all of us, and three, why would she act like that when seeing Matt?,”

Jolly, Matt and Nicholas had their suspicions about the breakup. Noah had told them it was pretty cut and dry but they could never get your side as you pretty much went off the grid.

“I don’t know!,” Noah held his hands up in frustration, “I don’t know why you guys are acting like I’m not blindsided here,”

“There’s only one grocery store within the town I saw her near. Don’t be on any stalker shit but I’ll bet you my fucking mixing equipment she’ll be there on a Wednesday at 4:45 before the after work rush comes,” Matt refuted.

It felt strange to Noah that all of his friends seemed to read you like a book, but when he thinks about you, you seem like a mystery. Maybe it’s because you had no choice but to become one after a while. It’s his fault you closed yourself off. You tried until you couldn’t yet Noah made your efforts seem pointless. Noah had neglected you, he became a stranger who wasn’t involved in your routines anymore and he’s had more than enough time to realize that after you left.

When you left it felt like his world had stopped. How did he fuck up so bad? Letting the voices in his head get to him, pushing you away with the idea that you’ll someday be with someone who deserves you. The demons in his head convinced him that he wasn’t that someone.

He let the weight of the world crush him. He let the brain fog cloud his vision, his judgment and now here he is, doing his best to get better. Now has the news that he may or may not be a father. He’s spooked by the idea. If he couldn’t be a good partner how does he expect you to let him in for a chance to be a good father… if he can find you that is? He’s petrified.

Except he knows damn well it doesn’t outweigh the panic you felt when he pushed you away, forcing you to go through it all alone.

It had been about two and a half weeks or so since your run in with Matt and it has done nothing but prompted you to stay inside more than you already have been. Reid agreed to drop off your needed items and even stuck around to help around the house. He’s even brought Ms. Ernie by as she’s missed you.

You wanted to get out though. You missed going on walks around the woods, missed stepping foot on the outskirts of the city. You couldn’t hide away forever and you really couldn’t do that to Noelle, she needed to see the outside world.

That’s how you found yourself in the supermarket in town with Ms. Ernie as she asked you what you wanted for dinner.

“I think some mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli will be good sides,” you suggested.

“Want gravy?,”

“No, I’m more of a butter and pepper kinda gal,” you lightly nudged her, patting Noelle’s bottom as she laid quietly in her baby wrap against your chest.

“You kids don’t appreciate good gravy anymore,” she playfully rolled her eyes.

This is something you really needed. Was this a friendship you expected to have? Absolutely not, still it helps you feel normal. You share your eggs from your chickens and she makes you milk and yogurt, she always invites you over for Wednesday dinner, you invite her over for a nice cool lunch while she’s on break from the truck.

“What do we want for dessert?,” you ask, looking at the array of fresh baked goods.

“Pick whatever you want, sweetie. I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go look at the teas, I’m running low and I think they’re on sale!” she waved, taking the cart to go get her favorite brand of iced tea.

“What are we feeling, Sunshine?,” you lightly bounce, her hand reaching up to feel your cheek, “Do we want carrot cake, red velvet? Ouuu that caramel crumble apple pie sounds gooooood,”

You look at her, heart swelling while she just squeals and smiles at you. You never expected yourself to be a parent, a single parent at that- but smiling down at this face, with the cutest, chubbiest cheeks and big, animated eyes, you wouldn’t trade this for anything.

“I know, I think we should get all of them too,” you rub your nose against hers just to hear her babble again. You would never get tired of that sound, it became your favorite song.

“But!-” you open the cooler door and begin reaching, “-Mama is really craving the red velvet,”

Unfortunately for you though, it was on the top shelf and you just weren’t tall enough. You hear yourself grunt as you reach and honestly it’s rather embarrassing. You try again and see no one nearby to ask for help and you feel defeated. All you wanted was a nice piece of cake. Deciding to give up, you slap your hand down against your thigh and look to Noelle to pout at her, “I guess it wasn’t meant to be”

While you were looking at her, you were in your own world. Everything just seemed to stop when you peered into those eyes. Noelle nuzzled her cheek against the back of your finger as you caressed it. All you wanted was a nice dinner followed by eating cake while she slept on your chest, a nice night with you and Ms. Ernie competing against each other while watching a game show.

You were so caught up in adoring your daughter that you didn’t see the large hand that reached over your head to grab the cake you desired.

“Here you go,” a hopeful drone made its way into your ears.

You were so set on having a good night except when you looked up, your smile immediately fell and you were frozen. Your eyes seemed to deceive you because there was no way this was real. You had to be dreaming. There’s no way he’s standing in front of you.

Your body betrayed you. Everyone speaks of fight or flight and a part of you always believed that if you were in a situation where you had to choose, that you’d choose flight, not being the fighting type and opting to always run and hide. But… Now that you’re in a situation like this, there’s a third option many don’t acknowledge.

Freeze.

There’s fight.

There’s flight..

and then there’s freeze…

And you froze.

Your mind and body let you down. Your feet should be carrying your body as far away from his as possible but you just can’t move. You’re trying but they won’t budge.

That smile he shines isn’t helping either. It's an expression you want to wipe off his face but for some reason you can’t help but continue to stare because it’s a smile that you never expected to see again. It clicks that your mind is betraying you again because why are you finding comfort in it?

His eyes were tired but still so beautiful. You notice they hold hope as well as hesitation.

“You always did like red velvet,” he snickered but you didn’t find anything funny. What kind of sick joke is this?

“Get away from me,” you whisper. It sounded more confident in your head, you didn’t want to sound weak. Another bodily betrayal.

“I’m not here to scare you or hurt you. I just want to talk,” he caught a glimpse of the gorgeous baby in your wrap and his breath was taken away.

Matt was right and not just about the baby. But your routines. You never strayed far from your habits, so to see you walking in the store with your baby to your chest made this much more real than Noah could process at once. The poor guy doesn’t know if he’s relieved or scared shitless.

“There’s nothing to talk about. She’s not even yours,” your eyes flit as the tears fall down your cheeks. It felt like you were suffocating now. You know Matt spilled and really, you couldn’t blame him because if you were in Noah’s position, you’d want to be told as well. But then again.. you wouldn’t be in this position if you were him because you would’ve tried to save your relationship.

Being found so easily wasn’t something you planned and now you’re battling the feelings of wanting to slap him or run in his arms because while he hurt you- Noah was it for you. He was endgame. Seeing him stirred all these feelings inside that were now giving you vertigo, causing your stomach to swirl and a lump to form in your throat.

“Y/N, she looks just like me. There’s a lot to talk about,”

He tried to get another glimpse but you shielded her in the wrap. No, no way in hell. Taking a giant step back, you hold her closer, “I won’t let you take her away from me. She’s all I have, Noah. I won’t let you,”

Noah took a step forward and could only brandish defeat when you took yet another step back.

“I’m not trying to take her from you,” Noah knows he has no right to be offended. Like, let’s think- you two broke up and his best friend bumped into you, now Noah knows about his child and he found you in a random supermarket after you fought tooth and nail to stay away from him. It would make sense why you think he’d take her from you, but that’s far from what Noah wants. It’s a long shot but he wants to make this right.

Noah understands that he fucked up in the past but he wouldn’t do that to you, “That’s why I want to talk. I want a chance to be there,”

A scoff from you echoes in the empty aisle. How rich.

“You weren’t even there for me and you expect me to believe you’ll be there for her?,” You grit through your teeth, “She is too precious to be let down by you, Noah. Do it to me all you want but not when it comes to my daughter,”

A frown etched its way onto Noah’s face, waving his hands as if to say ‘wait, hold up’. He knows he hasn’t been there but he’s not about to be some deadbeat.

“Our… daughter,” he corrected, “You didn’t even give me a chance to know so I could be there,”

“You’ve got some fucking nerve!,” your voice had gone shrill and you were thankful that there was little to no people in the store. You wished he would have approached you outside, then you really wouldn’t have to worry about keeping your voice down.

“ ‘Our’ daughter, Noah? Really?! If you weren’t there before I was pregnant-,”

“I told you I just needed time,” he interjected, still holding onto that sentiment.

“I gave you four years!,” you spat, “Four years of me, Noah. I gave you four years to learn how to love me. To learn how to communicate even up until the end,”

Who knows how much time he would have needed. Who knows if he’d have even gotten his shit together by the time you found out you were with child and gave birth. Having Noelle now, you know for certain you couldn’t have just sat with idle hands.

“Y/N please,” he begged, still holding the cake in his hands, “I love you and I fucked up. It’s been killing me since the day you left and how I never had to chance to make it right, then Matt told me-”

“Matt is wrong. Matt doesn’t know what he’s talking about!,” you really weren’t trying to make a scene here and you were still trying to convince Noah that Noelle wasn’t his.

“She has my eyes, Y/N. She’s a perfect mix of you and me. Please, just, can we talk about this over coffee. I know you don’t owe me anything but can we meet for lunch or something?,”

Before you could answer with a fat ass denial, Ms. Ernie is coming up with her noisy cart, scooting along with a small frown on her face.

“They done moved my tea, I had to ask for help,” she frowned. She was never the type to like asking for help in stores, she liked it when things were easy to find.

She moves to stand beside you, waiting for your response but then she notices the look of shock you’re wearing and meets Noah’s eyes. It took her a second before she gawked, looking to Noelle and back to Noah.

“That’s that baby’s daddy!,” she looks over her glasses and you loudly sigh at her statement. She didn’t always read the room well.

“Ms. Ernie!,”

“Sorry, honey but it’s undeniable,” she shrugs, looking back to Noah, “You gonna put that cake in my cart or just stand there looking pretty,”

Noah stammered before rushing to set the cake down in the cart and turning to you. Words seem to catch in his throat, not exactly sure what to say.

“I know you blocked us all on everything so just… reach out when you’re ready. I really would like to talk about all of this,”

“I gotta go” Looking to Ms. Ernie so that she would get the hint to start walking. You knew you were in for a long night of her lectures, no matter how insightful they always were, you weren’t ready.

You had a feeling for how the night would go now. This feeling had your stomach queasy as if you’re on a boat, feeling the waves rock you to and fro. It was hard to face the music but she was going to make you. That’s just how Ms. Ernie was, you just weren’t ready for her to be right about it all.

“Give him a chance, sweetie,”

Noelle was fast asleep while you leaned on Ms. Ernie’s shoulder, eating your cake and watching Wheel of Fortune. You wanted your night to go just like this but it wasn’t enjoyable, not with all that was plaguing your mind.

“I can’t let him back in,” you think about it, recalling how bad it hurt you the first time around, “Now that Noey is involved, I can’t let my guard down. I’m a mom now, I have to protect her,”

“I’m not saying throw your whole hand in,” she sipped her tea, “Have a drink with him. I can call Reid to help me with our cute lil plum,”

It wasn’t a secret to how badly you were emotionally wounded when you and Noah parted ways, but it also wasn’t a secret to Ms. Ernie just how bad you love him. From the day you met her, she claimed you and Noah would find your way back to each other. You always told her it was a fat chance. Even now, your heart was playing tug of war.

Do you stay away? Leaving him to wallow in his bad decisions? or do you lean into the possibility of mending things?

“I never stopped loving him, that’s why I’m scared,” you sit up to look at her, she looked so noble when looking at you over her glasses like that, “I watched him love me less and less until our love just became an empty shell. I watched him pick his job over me and I can’t put her through that,”

Ms. Ernie reached over to wipe your tears when she caught sight of your trembling chin. It was comforting, like a grandma tending to her grandchild while they experienced a melancholic mood.

“Take it slow. Take time to get to know the new him and he can take the time to get to know the new you,”

“Does he deserve that though?,”

“Mmm,” she shrugged, “Sometimes a lot of good can come out of a second chance. What if you and him were meant to part ways, only so you two could find each other again?”

“Love shouldn’t come to that, no?,” a twinge of confusion worming its way into your tone

“Oh honey. You’ve got a lot to learn about love,” she lightly swatted your leg, “No amount of time and space can separate you from those that are meant to be in your life. This is a second chance to create a new story,”

You called it. You knew she was gonna get all philosophical on you and be right about all of this.

“Don’t rush into it but…” she sighed, “Give it a shot,”

You don’t even know if you were strong enough to lift the metaphorical gun to give it a shot. Pondering her words each bite at a time while you finish your treat, how do you go about this without immediately falling in love with him again? He was so easy to love even when you didn’t want to, even in his faults. One look at him and it felt like the first day you met him.

You were standing at the bus stop one day, sighing at having to take public transportation as your anxiety has been in overdrive since your car was in the shop. Public transportation meant a lot of people in close quarters and you just couldn’t handle that right now.

In the midst of your mind being in a flurry, a group of rowdy men are approaching. You’re too caught up in trying to reduce your apprehension to notice them getting closer until a nameless man bumps into you, knocking your token out of your hand.

Watching it fly from your hand, floating in mid air, all you can do is try to catch it but it just wasn’t your day. Your token falls down the street drain and your gasp causes the rowdy group to stop.

“No! No, no, no, no noooo!,” you fall to your knees and look down the drain to see the token shining up from the bottom. It was mocking you.

“Dang it!,” your head falls in your hands, wallowing in embarrassment. The token station was 9 blocks away, there was no way you’d make it there and back in time. Of course the transit app wasn’t working on your phone either, you’d been telling yourself to get a new phone carrier for months now, now look at you.

“I’m… so sorry!,”

Removing your head from your hands, your eyes move in the direction in which the voice came. Your breath is instantly taken away once again but for a whole other reason.

“I can pay for another token,” he offers, helping you up, his large hands grasping your biceps to get you up right.

“No it’s okay I can-,”

“Please. It’s the least I can do,” the tall brunet insisted. Your words are caught in your throat, eyes trying to drink in his beauty before he becomes only a memory.

“Nice going, Noah!,” a tall blond wearing a hat pushes him.

“Watch where you’re going, asshole,” another chuckled, he was also decked out in tattoos, gorgeous black hair and glittering eyes.

But your eyes were on the inked man in front of you, the one who made your day even more of a rollercoaster than it already has been. While his friends make fun of him, your eyes are tracing over his tattoos, you’d never seen so many on one body in person before.

“Is… is that a Garden of Eden reference?,” you point to his neck.

He touches his throat and chuckles, a noise that you weren’t aware would change your life.

“Yeah, yeah it is,”

“It’s nice,” you mutter, afraid to speak above a certain octave. You don’t talk to people much, you were only a lonely librarian who went to work, staying in the basement all day to organize books and then go home.

“Thanks…?” he trails off but points to you ask if to ask you a question

“Y/N,” you spill out, “M-my name is Y/N,” you anxiously stick out your hand for him to take and shake, “I think he just called you Noah?,”

“Yeah that’s me,” his smile… my God his smile was hypnotizing. His smile could cure all sadness

“You owe me a bus pass,” you point out, “A-and… and I can pay you back over a cup of tea and some fresh scones at my favorite bakery downtown,”

Your confidence not only caught him off guard, but you as well. You’d never suggest something like that to someone and now you’re overthinking the fact that you’ve made such a fool of yourself.

“Sorry that was… that was abrasive and demanding. That was so rude. Y-you were just being nice and I just… you’re just so pretty and oh my God… Y/N shut up-,”

“Hey,” he softly talked over you, wanting to calm you down without scaring you.

“We’ll stick around until the bus comes so I can pay for your pass and we can trade numbers to set up a date for those scones,”

A date… a DATE?! You’ve only ever been on a handful of dates before and they all went terribly. Surely he didn’t mean like… a date-date, right? Like, you’re sure he just meant a little meetup so you could actually pay him back.

“O-okay!,” wide eyed, you nod your head and look around to his friends that are smiling and laughing and you don’t know if they’re laughing at you. It’s okay if they are, you’re used to it.

“Don’t mind them. They’re assholes,”

“We are not!,” a shorter man punches his arm, “I’m Nick by the way, but you can call me Folio. That’s Jolly, Nicholas, Matt, Davis and Bryan!,”

You nod to them all, making a note of their names.

“Y/N,” you sputter, “I’m Y/N,”

“We heard,” Jolly smiled.

“Right,” you give a bashful smile and turn from them to sit on the bench, “The buses are running 20 minutes late today so you really don’t have to wait,” you set your book in your lap.

“I insist. If these jerks are in a rush, they can go without me,” Noah throws a hand back at them. He’s not surprised that that’s exactly what they did.

They left Noah there, giving you two the chance to talk about the most random things, like your favorite book genres to read, things on your bucket list, aliens, paranormal shit. Just fun things. This is the most you’ve talked to any stranger you’ve ever met, you don’t even talk to your co workers like this.

Noah let you yap about your interests, he admired the way you animated your speech with your hands. He was absolutely enamored with the way you bounced in your seat when he brought up a topic that excited you and he made a mental bookmark so he could memorize the way your eyes close when you laugh.

Noah didn’t believe in love at first sight but this felt like it.

While discussing your favorite twilight characters, the noise of the approaching bus pulled you from your conversation, Noah can see how your face dropped. Your conversation went by too quickly.

“We can have more conversations like this,” Noah shows you his screen, displaying his number and you curse to yourself, knowing he can see you shaking while you hurry to type it into your phone. Your heart was beating out of your chest, he is so sweet and so fricken cute and his tattoos are so cool and he just sat here to talk to YOU?! No one ever just talks to you.

He’s even nice enough to help you onto the bus and get you seated before saying his saddened farewells to leave you. His demeanor gave off reluctance and you felt like you were in a rom-com when he stood outside the bus, waving as it began rolling away.

Your face was hotter than hell, there’s no way any of that just happened. Your phone felt heavy in your hands, demanding to be opened. Gnawing at your lip, your fingers dance on your screen, trying to figure out what to say.

You went with a simple text, something quirky. Something that you hope he’ll answer to and not ghost you after the way you opened up to him so easily.

“So… about those scones?”

All those memories flood back and you can feel the dampness of your face. Where did that Noah go?

How did your once grey world that become so colorful so quickly with his presence, fade into grey once more with his absence in the blink of an eye?

What happened to him that he became so detached? What was lying beneath the surface that he let fester until he let it impact your relationship?

You feel Ms. Ernie takes the plate away from you and rests her hand on your cheek, pulling you out of the pit you were digging with your overactive questioning.

“I got the spare bedroom ready for ya, go get some rest,”

Taking her advice, Noelle snuggled into you as you carried her to the spare room where Ms. Ernie had set up a spare bassinet. You had tucked her in, making sure she was safe and secure before plopping down on the bed with a large sigh, heels of your palms pressing into your eyes to subdue your flowing tears. Now that you were alone, the weight of everything came down.

Tired of feeling so scatterbrained, you grabbed your phone, tapping away at the screen to have your thumb hovering over his name. Was this a good idea? Do you give in this easily? Would this be healthy for your mental state right now? Maybe Matt was right, this wasn’t about you, this was about Noelle, she deserved her dad, right?

But what about protecting her? You didn’t want to introduce him into her life just for him to turn around and jump ship when things got too hard.

Here goes the vicious cycle of overthinking and all the possibilities that made themselves known with the heaviness, giving you no other choice but to feel it filling up your chest. How soon did you want to do this? Did you even want to do this at all?

You’ve been blaming yourself since that day at the market. Had you gone earlier like you always do, you wouldn’t have bumped into Matt, or if you had paid attention, you could have avoided him. There were so many outcomes the universe shuffled in its hand and yet the card you were dealt was the situation you were facing right now.

Finally having enough of your own inner dialogue, a deep breath escapes you when clicking on his contact, closing your eyes when hitting Unblock Caller

Just like the day you met him, you’re faced with the challenge of what to say, except this time there was nothing cute or quirky to say. It was simple and serious.

Tomorrow 12pm at the bakery downtown.

That’s all you could come up with before pressing send. It’s almost like he was waiting by his phone, waiting for you to reach out and it makes you kick yourself. What if this is a set up and you’re falling into his plan.

Wait, no.

Noah has messed up but, He wouldn’t do that… would he? He wouldn’t hurt you any further. You hope you’re right because now this is happening.

I’ll be there.

Sleep fought you all night. In and out of sleep to either tend to Noelle or simply because your mind wouldn’t power down for the night. When you were finally able to get some shut-eye, it was like it was already time for the sun to rise.

Ms. Ernie had breakfast ready for you after you fed Noelle, scooting around her quaint kitchen humming the tune of a classic she grew up listening to. Your nerves were bad as you thought of the day ahead.

“So, what are your plans today?,” she questions.

Slowly chewing your food, your eyes avert down to the table. Why do you feel so embarrassed to admit that you’re meeting him today despite her calling it?

“I uhm, I was going to ask if-,”

“Yes. Reid is already on his way,” the elderly woman delivered a smug expression, she’s been on Earth long enough to know how young love works.

You chuckle at her and shake your head, “You don’t even know what I was going to ask,”

“Baby, I can read you like a book. You’re gonna go see him. I could tell before you went to bed last night. We’ve spent enough time together for me to know you’re not over him,”

Knowing this fact made you feel an ounce of shame. You should be over him. He showed his ass last year yet you’re not sure if the alarm bells that are going off in your head are due to actual warning or if they’re sounding off because you can’t seem to do anything other than overthink. It’s a terrible habit and an even more terrible predicament to be in.

“Am I jumping into this?,” you rub Noelle’s back absentmindedly, enjoying the weight of her in your arms to ground you. Maybe you should have given it a couple days. Did it seem desperate to message him so soon? You were supposed to hate his guts

“It was going to have to happen at some point, dear,” she shrugs while cleaning the kitchen, “You’ve left some bricks of milk in the freezer, you’ve left some spare bottles, diapers, all that. With Reid here to help me she’s in good hands times 2,”

Almost as if she had summoned him, Reid knocks and enters through her front door, a bright smile on his face that you’ve come to learn really helps calm you down. You were thankful for the connections you’ve made since being on your own.

These people were your village and you were in good hands, meaning Noelle was too.

“Gooooooood morning!!,” he claps, hugging Ms. Ernie before moving to you to steal a piece of bacon off your plate. Reid hugs you as well, taking Noelle from your arms.

“I can’t forget you, sunshine!,” he holds her up in the air and she screams in excitement, dropping her head on his chest when he pulls her in.

Ms. Ernie could tell your nerves were getting the best of you, it’s happened enough times to know that spaced out look on your eyes.

“Finish eating and get ready. You can take my car,” she scoots around the kitchen to set her keys on the counter.

“I can call an Uber” not wanting to impose

“Nonsense!,” she waves her hand with a frown, “Your car is back at the cabin, my car doesn’t get much use cause I always take my truck. It’s not a problem,”

Reid sits beside you and rubs your back as a means of comfort, it’s written all over your face that you’re distraught, you never did master your poker face.

“Hey, you got this,”

You drop your head on the table and can feel the tears welling once more.

“Am I stupid for letting him in so easily?,” the familiar knot was forming in your throat, warning that tears would soon begin to fall if you didn’t pull yourself together, “He literally told me he didn’t love me like he used to, then last night says he never stopped. It’s hurting my head. I went about year without him and now I’m going to meet him and I’m terrified,”

“Y/N,” Reid began, “How do eat an elephant?,”

You turn to him and frown at his question. But this is Reid, you know he’s about to say something corny.

“How?,”

“One bite at a time,” he comforts, “It’s okay to feel nervous. It’s okay to overthink all of this and it’s okay to think about the cons. But what if this turns into something good?,”

“It was supposed to be something good the first time,” you hiccup. It’s just tearing you apart all over again to think about what could have been if he’d tried harder back then. You could have been a happy family instead of going through this.

“But then I guess I wouldn’t have met you guys,”

“Exactly. Everything happens for a reason,” Ms. Ernie interjects, “But if you get back with him, you better not forget us,”

Her words were jaw dropping, you know she was saying it as a joke but there was a twinge of truth in them. You all have gotten so close and it would crush her if you left and never looked back.

“I would never dream of it,”

You arrived at the bakery an hour early. Your thoughts wouldn’t slow down unless you did and your nerves were on fire the closer it got.

Maybe this was a bad idea. No… this definitely was a bad idea, right? This bakery brought so many memories. What kind of self torture is it to recommend meeting at the place you two had your first date?

It’s 12 now and he’s still not here. Your chest starts to ache and you don’t know if stress is the cause or if it’s because you knew this was too good to be true.

The reality of having a baby scared him off. He wasn’t ready to be a parent. He’s a big shot rock star, sitting here with the realization made it click that he’s not ready to give that up. He loved his job too much.

It was now 12:06 and there was still no sign of him. You weren’t going to text him, he shouldn’t need a reminder, especially because he never followed up today.

Exhaling mournfully, you gather your belongings, standing up to leave when you hear the bell to the front door and heavy, pattering feet-

“I’m here!!,” panting, hands on his knees as he gets to the table, “I’m here! Accident blocked off the highway- had to take a detour- sped here, no parking. Had to park 2 blocks away so I ran,” he slid into the booth, running a hand through his hair to calm down.

His face was cherry red, chest rising and falling quickly, he looked beat. You don’t say a word, you just slip him your water and he whispers his gratitude just as he chugs it, taking a napkin to wipe his mouth.

“I don’t have her here with me,” a monotonous tone leaves you.

He nods, taking a second to compose himself, trying to get his heart rate down so that he could have a calm conversation.

“I expected that,” leaning back in his seat, his eyes settle in on you and you start to feel self conscious, “You’re still as beautiful as the day I met you,”

“Noah,”

“No, I know I fucked up, Y/N. Trust me, no one knows more than me,” he leans his elbows on the table, dipping his head to catch your eyes that way you can see he was being honest, “I’ve kicked myself in the ass ever since then,”

“I can’t just let you back in, Noah,”

“And I don’t expect you to,” his hand comes to his lips, pressing on them as he thinks, “Everyday I thought about you and what I could have done better. I have therapy now, I learned better coping mechanisms. I know that’s something I should have done before I got that bad, but I didn’t just do it for you I did it for me because I wasn’t treating myself the nicest either,”

Maybe you should have taken a page out of his book and gotten help, but with being a single parent, you didn’t really have time for that.

“I loved you and I still do. You said that you probably weren’t the one for me but you’ve got it so wrong,”

His words reverberate off the walls of your ear canal. This is why all of this is confusing. If he was going through something mentally, why wasn’t he honest instead of shattering you to pieces?

“You’re just saying that because there’s a baby in the picture,” you accuse.

“Ask Matt… ask Nicholas even. This has been going on since the day you left. Finding out about our daughter only solidified it even more that I want a life with you,”

There’s no way this is genuine.

“Noah, I can’t just trust y-,”

“I know. You set the pace, I will respect that,”

There.

Those words started to chip away at the walls that you’d built up. They must not have been very thick, or very strong. Or maybe Noah just had that ability.

“Do you… can I see pictures of her at least?,” He asks as if he’s nervous almost, “I get it if you don’t want to I just-,”

A part of you wanted to tell him no. You didn’t want to reveal her to him just yet. He should work a little harder to prove that he’s legitimate in his stance. A few words shouldn’t grant him this opportunity. Nevertheless, your iced out attitude began melting at his expression, showing him a couple pictures wouldn’t hurt.

“No I can,” you open your phone to your camera roll, having a whole album of her. You’ve taken pictures of her since the day you had her. She’s a beautiful baby and you suppose he could see pictures of his own child, he’s missed out on enough, hasn’t he?

“This is when she was born. I did a water birth,” you show him a picture of you holding her, umbilical cord still attached, “My medical staff was great,”

Then you slid through the album showing him other pictures absolutely adoring your daughter and how cute she is

“This is the first time she smiled at me,” you look at him and you can see the sparkle in his eyes as he stares at the screen. There was a gentle smile on his lips, registering in his mind that this little human was a piece of him.

“She’s a sweet baby. Doesn’t really cry, she’s a squealer when she laughs,”

You play videos of her giggling and babbling and he is instantly in love, seeing this look on his face stirs a guilt inside of you that you never felt before. Maybe he should have known. Things could have been resolved by now had you not been selfish.

But there’s that nagging little voice telling you that you deserved to be selfish at least once in your life. It felt like your mind was in a blender.

“What’s her name?,” he looks to you hopefully. Were you ready to give him that information? It’s silly but the more he knows, the easier it will be for him to tear down the walls you built around yourself. It’ll make it easier for him to weasel his way into the picture again and you weren’t sure yet if you wanted to keep this a co-parenting arrangement or what.

“You don’t have to tell me right now,” he sees the hesitation on your face.

“Noelle,” you answer softly, “Her name is Noelle. I named her after you. But we also call her Sunshine, Plum or Noey, that one’s new,”

He broke out in the brightest smile you’d ever seen. You missed that smile, those beautiful lips framing his beautiful teeth. It was a smile that once brought you peace that is now bringing confusion.

“That’s…,” he gives a breathy chuckle, using his fingers to press into his eyes to keep the tears at bay, “That’s lovely,”

“Yeah, look at who her mom is,” you flip your hair as a joke and suddenly the tension isn’t as heavy. You’re supposed to be icy right now but the hopeless romantic within you is fighting the broken-hearted girl. One could only guess who is winning.

“Yeah, exactly,” Noah is seen getting nervous as the conversation progresses, he doesn’t know what questions are off limits, “So what are you up to these days? You’re not at the library anymore,”

“You looked for me at the library?,” you frown. You left that place a long time ago.

“I sat out on the bench everyday for at least three months before we had to leave for tour,”

Why couldn’t he give you that energy before? Where he used to meet you outside on the bench after you got off, sometimes with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, and sometimes with your favorite take out and you’d have little date nights on the library bench. Why did that flame have to die?

Was life about to present you with new, better tools? Improved ways to bring it back? To make it a raging forest fire that can’t be put out? A lover like you can only hope.

“I work from home. With finding out about Noelle I needed something relaxed, I’m still in the field of library science. I work as an analyst,”

His eyebrows perked up, just like the first time you two ever met when you told him what you did for a living. His interest now was a big 180 from last year.

“Y/N that’s.. that’s amazing,” he leans forward, prompting you to talk about it more. You go on and on about your job, about how cool it is to you and he sat there and listened. Not once did he break eye contact, he interacted with the conversation and it felt like things were how they used to be.

“How’s the Bad Omens life?,” you ask, finally getting winded from talking about yourself.

Noah plasters a look of pride on his face. You wanted so badly to keep up with them but that would do you a disservice while trying to mend what was hurting you.

“It’s great! We’re blowing up, so many more places we can tour now, merch sales are off the hook. We have a new one dropping soon and I uh… I designed one for Noelle, I’ll just need her size,”

His words caught you off guard. How does he have something planned for her already?

“Noah,” he’s got you swooning so easily. This was your Noah.

Snap out of it, Y/N!

If he’s serious, make him work for it.

“I think it’s pretty cute! Nicholas and I brainstormed on it together, it’s a Bad Omens x Noelle exclusive,”

The laughter that escaped you was a melody Noah thought he’d never hear again. When it dies down, his mouth begins to itch with a question he’s been wondering for a long time now.

“Are you,” he clears his throat, “Are you seeing anyone?,”

Your eyes flicker at his question, adjusting in your seat. Snatching the cup of water that was on the table, looking him in his eyes when you set it down after a sip.

“I told you,” tongue in cheek, playing with your fingers to ease your mind, “I wouldn’t be able to fall in love with anyone else. You were it for me,”

You search his eyes, wanting to cry for the sole basis that you never thought you’d see them again. They were the eyes you looked to whenever you were desolate, excited, or livid. No matter what you were feeling you could simply look at him and he was always there, until he wasn’t.

“I meant it when I said I loved you and you fucking sat there and told me that you didn’t love me like you used to,”

“I don’t know why I said that-,”

“It gutted me,” anguish covers your face like a mask, trying to keep yourself from crying while that night replays in your mind like a movie, “You just sat there like it didn’t even hurt you,”

“It hurt me like you wouldn’t believe,” he persisted

“So why didn’t you try?,” your lip hurts from biting it so hard, if you don’t stop it’ll bleed soon enough, “I gave you so much of me, even up until I couldn’t, when I had nothing left and you just… sat there!,”

“I was an idiot,” he admitted, “I fucked up when I decided to love my career more than anything. I messed up when I let it weigh me down,”

“I don’t care that you loved your career, Noah. I cared whether you showed up for us or not. You did until you became complacent,”

“I know I didn’t,” he answers, “I know I didn’t try hard enough. I know I gave up too quickly and those decisions have been haunting me every fucking day. I know I made this bed but I don’t wanna lie in it anymore,”

Taking a napkin from the table to wipe your eyes, you look around to make sure no one is looking at you. You thought in your mind that you’d be stronger but deep down, you expected the tears even though it’s embarrassing to be this emotional in public.

“Were you even honest with everyone or did you make me the villain?,”

“I told them it was mutual,” he confesses in shame.

Choking on your sobs, you shake your head and just look out the window, “So you made them think I just skipped town? That’s so fucked up, Noah. I would have never done that to you,”

“I will tell them the truth,” He panicked, “I don’t know why I lied to them I just… I knew they’d make the guilt worse and I figured the damage was done. I knew if they knew the truth they’d make me reach out but after that I didn’t have the right to reach out to fix it,”

There’s a silence that floats between you two after his words. The culpability of hurting you ate at him while the heartache gnawed away at you.

Both were parasites feeding on their hosts. Ruining their lives, doing their best to reduce them to nothing.

The parasitism ends here though.

“If-” you hiccup, gathering your things, “If you want even a sliver of a chance of being in Noelle’s life… of us getting back together, of us being a family… then you’ll start with being honest with our friends,”

Noah was so anxious that he just might throw up. He wanted you back and he didn’t want to miss out on having a family. He’s missed out on enough due to his own transgressions.

It took Noah a few days to muster up the strength to tell everyone. Every time he tried, he stumbled over his words and gave up. He had to do this though, it wasn’t fair to lie on your name to save his face.

Noah found himself with the guys, all gathered for game night. Snacks spread out all over the table, Folio was high, laughing while throwing a squid at Matt on the course, fucking up Matt’s winning streak. All of them were having a good time but Noah couldn’t focus on having fun, what he was about to confess wasn’t fun by any means. After a few rounds of Mario Kart, he paused the game and sighed, many groans of dismay being heard around the living room.

“What’s your problem?,” Jolly questioned, “I was about to whoop your ass on the Bone-Dry Dunes!,”

Noah felt his breathing pick up. It was now or never.

“It wasn’t mutual,” he blurts out, heart racing in his chest, he can hear his blood rushing in his ears.

“The fuck are you talking about?,” Folio burps obnoxiously loud and Bryan kicks him for being gross about it.

“Y/N and I, the break up wasn’t mutual,” he finds his switch controller a lot more interesting than the feeling of their eyes burning holes into his skin.

“Again, that begs the question… what the fuck are you talking about?,” Matt’s voice sounds strained, like he knows and is getting irritated with the suspense.

“Before she left. I told her that I didn’t love her like I used to. I got overwhelmed with the band. I was… I got deep in my head and started to self sabotage. I neglected her and I fucked up,”

A stillness dresses the air, Noah can feel the tension. He can’t bring himself to look up and see their expressions, he’s ashamed, he should be. How did he go so long with this secret? How did he go about his life knowing he broke the trust of one of the sweetest souls that walked this Earth?

“Woah…,” Davis muttered in a daze. His single word response was enough to have all hell breaking loose.

“I’m going to kick your fucking ass!,” Nicholas threw his controller at Noah, heat from his frustration reddening his cheeks, “Are you fucking kidding me, Noah? Is that why she ran off?,”

“That’s exactly why,” he nodded, cursing at himself. He feels so embarrassed to say it out loud. This is the first he’s ever admitted this outside of therapy. These are people that mattered, people whose opinions mattered the most.

Matt sat up like he’d seen a ghost, a light bulb moment happening for him, “That’s why she didn’t tell you about the baby,”

“BABY?!,” Folio screeched, “where the fuck was I?!,” Hands stuck out as if to gesture “wtf” Folio was always ten steps behind everyone else, even when he was in the room at the time of conversations.

“You were super high, you passed out,” Jolly waved at him to shut up, turning to Noah, “You’re our brother which means I have to be honest. That is a dick ass move, Noah. She was nothing but patient with you. She loved you, supported you even when it was hard because you were gone all the time. What the fuck?,”

“She was always there no matter what you needed,” Bryan added, while it took a while for you to open up to everyone, when you did, they became your little family, “She was always there for you, always there for us,”

“I miss when she packed our lunches for the studio,” Folio sighed like he was daydreaming. Once again finding it hard to read the room.

“Not the time!,” Nicholas gritted through his teeth

“I’m just saying!,” Folio defended, “She took care of all of us,”

Nicholas stuck out his hand to shut Folio up. If there was anyone up in arms about this, it was him. They all became your family and it hurt them when you left without a word. Now that he knows the full story, it makes him livid to know it was Noah who pushed you away. This could have been avoided.

“We were worried sick about her, Noah!,” Nicholas was more upset than any of them, and that’s saying a lot, the others were quite upset, “That girl who stuttered over her words the first time she met you still stuttered after years of being with you because she loved you, because you still made her nervous! After years of being with you she was still smitten and because of the stress.. you… y-you say that shit to her?,”

Noah really had no rebuttal. He knew Nicholas was right. There were no words for him to defend himself with. It almost brought him to tears, unsettled by his own behavior and now that other people know… now that the people closest to him know- it changes everything and forces him to reflect even more.

“Instead of talking to her, talking to us to keep you from doing something so stupid- instead of doing.. anything! You pull a coward ass move!,”

Nicholas viewed you as if you were a younger sibling, taking you under his wing, understanding your reclusive personality. He was the first person you connected to outside of Noah. He had a feeling when he only ever got vague answers when asking about the break up.

“It was time I was honest. I want to make this right with her. I want a chance to see my daughter and be a dad but it starts with honesty.” Noah mumbled, “I just want her back and I want a second chance whether I deserve it or not. I want to be there for Y/N like I always should have been. I want to be there for Noelle. I’m sorry it took so long to come clean.”

“Yeah?,” Matt’s jaw clenches as he ponders what has been said. He has his own thoughts regarding the matter but Nicholas seemed to cover them all for the most part, “I hope she makes you work like hell for it!,”

All Noah can really do is agree, they’re right. He was a coward, he did take the easy way out instead of facing his own problems and insecurities, and you should make him work like hell to get you back, to earn his place in Noelle’s life.

“Noelle,” Folio trails off, giggling to himself as he says the name, “Noeeeellee,”

“Dude, shut the fuck up!,” Jolly shouted with a bit of laughter layered underneath, Folio is such an airhead, it’s hard to have serious conversations like this around him. At least it eases some tension.

“It’s a cute name!!,”

“She’s an adorable baby,” Matt confirmed, “I only got a glimpse of her but she looks just like Noah,”

“Nah,” Noah shook his head, “She has my eyes but she has the curl of Y/N’s lashes. She has my lips but she has her mama’s chin. She has my dimples but Y/N’s cheeks. She’s both Y/N and me. She’s beautiful,”

Davis scoffs, raising his eyes, “Well you better get your shit together,”

“Yeah! I’m ready to be one kick ass uncle!,”

“Shut up, Folio!,”

You had taken it upon yourself to unblock everyone, figuring that if Noah told them the truth that they’d want to reach out, which they did.

It was scary at first, Noah had been a coward but you had your cowardly moments as well. Running off and not saying a word to people who cared about you- it wasn’t the nicest thing to do. Going through this with Noah had you realizing there are some things you would have done differently. This is a time of self reflection for everyone.

Although you’d been talking with them over the last week or so, you didn’t let the conversation stray too far from how you were doing. You weren’t ready to introduce them to Noelle or the idea of her just yet, you’re sure Noah has talked about her a bunch but you didn’t want to get too close to everyone again as of right now.

Ms. Ernie and Reid have been watching Noelle while you and Noah rebuild yourselves.

Dates that you made sure to let him know weren’t ‘actual dates’, walks at the park that turned into introspective discussions. It was all a work in progress and it made Ms. Ernie’s words hit even harder, there’s a lot to learn about love and that sometimes second chances are worth it.

You made him work like hell, but he was doing pretty well. He had different plans each day you guys hung out. He was attentive. He was gentle, he even told you about what he and his therapist talked about after each session.

In reality, you could tell he was doing better. You still had some reservations and there was still a long way to go but ultimately he was making a true effort. You could see the change he was making. Granted, it was a change that should have happened a long time ago but things happen the way they’re supposed to and when they’re supposed to.

That sentiment itself was a hard pill to swallow.

Today he took you on a picnic in the park, packed your favorite foods and drinks. He was really laying it on thick, others might find it cringe but it was making your heart flutter.

“I never did thank you, for telling them the truth,” popping a grape in your mouth, “I know it wasn’t easy,”

“It needed to happen. I knew better and I shouldn’t have lied to them but most importantly, I shouldn’t have lied on you. I was a coward and that’s not who I want to be to you… or Noey,”

A pleasant hum emitted from your chest, brows raising at the nickname that left his mouth.

“That one seemed to stick, huh?,”

“Noey is different… and it’s super close to Noah,”

“Noelle is already close to Noah!,” you bicker, both of you in high spirits while you go back and forth

“Noah has four letters and so does Noey,”

“Oh you’re such a kiss ass!,” you push him and he falls over dramatically.

“Help! Someone help!,” he shouted, feigning like he was injured

“Oh my God, Noah, stop! Someone is gonna think you’re serious!,” you reach over him to cover his mouth but he licks it and you squeal

“EEUUUGHHH!! You’re so gross!!,” you yank your hand back, he’s laughing like a hyena. Eyes wrinkling, hand in his chest and head thrown back.

“You used to do that to me all the time!” Justifying his action, you stick your tongue out at him while wiping your wet palm on his cheek

“Which means you can’t steal my move!,”

It was tense the first couple of meet ups and each one gets you closer to bringing Noelle around. These past couple of times had broken the ice and it started to feel like time hadn’t passed.

“Hey uhm, are you?- do you still live at the house?”

Noah settles down, feeling the energy shift to something a little more serious.

“Yeah. Didn’t have the guts to move. Why?,”

You twist grapeless vine in your hands, afraid to say the words now that you’re feeling comfortable to bring it up. It’s about 2 months of this and Noelle is a little over 6 months now.

“I’d like to bring Noelle by,”

Noah struggled for air, coughing up his drink and you can’t help but snicker at the liquid dripping off his chin.

“What?,” his eyes are as big as saucers

“Unless you’re not ready. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed,”

“No! No, I.. Y/N you have no idea how much I would love that,”

If you weren’t mistaken, you swear you see tears welling in his eyes

“I’d love to meet my daughter,”

This was a big step for you and an even bigger one for Noah. Both of you were scared beyond your wits.

“I’d like for it to just be us and then we can work up to getting the guys to meet her? And then you can meet Ms. Ernie, Reid and his husband, Morgan,”

You had to make sure to set some ground rules, Noah responded without any issues knowing that at the end of the day- you call the shots and he has to abide by them if he wants this to work. Yet despite feeling good about all of this, there’s still a smidge of uncertainty.

“What’s on your mind?,” even after all the time spent apart, reading you was like muscle memory.

“I still feel resentful,” you look to him to see his shoulders sagging, “I know you’re tired of it,”

“I don’t expect you to get over any of this anytime soon. In a way, you’re grieving and I can’t police how long you mourn. I can only help ease it,”

You didn’t really think of what you were going through as mourning but you guess you can see the similarities. What you two had was long gone and even in the face of starting over, albeit with the same person, you were still allowed to miss how things were and feel a bit out of sorts about what happened.

“It’s just,” you watch his hands as he picks at his palms, a nervous tick he’s always had. You’re once again feeling a sort of guilt making him feel like this but it’s a price he has to pay, right? You didn’t ask to be hurt to begin with.

“Resentment is so weird. I want to forgive you, Noah. So fucking bad I want to forgive you because I can’t keep doing this with you, I wish I could forget so I could just… hug you, kiss you, hold your hand like we used to,”

“You set the pace, Y/N. I told you no matter what, I respect it. I wish I could take it all back. God, I wish there was a way for me to go back so I didn’t fuck up and hurt you,”

“And my mind is struggling to comprehend why the fuck you would do that to me,” anger bleeds into your tone.

Noah is seen blubbering like a fish out of water as he tries to find his words. You can see the cogs turning in his mind, recalling the very night he ruined what you two had.

“There’s no explanation,” he declared, there was nothing good enough to excuse why he did what he did.

“No excuse, no reasoning that will ever be good enough for what I said to you. For how I treated you. It was unacceptable and there are no words to describe how apologetic I am. All I can say is, is that I’m so thankful you’re here, even giving me this chance,”

“You were all I could think about,” turning your body to him, he needed to know the turmoil you endured, “You hadn’t touched me in almost 3 months by the night I left. I was so consumed with the stress I didn’t realize I missed my period. I went to the doctor and that’s when I heard our little girl’s heartbeat,”

It didn’t get past him that you finally said our daughter and not just “my”. At this point, he has turned to look at you, listening closely, making sure you knew he was paying attention.

“I moved to the countryside and that’s where I met Ms. Ernie and Reid. They were my people while I was managing heartbreak. Keeping myself physically and mentally healthy so I could bring Noelle into this world. You… you should have been there Noah, you could’ve been there,”

“I know,” he blinks, tears falling down his cheeks just like yours were, “I missed out on so much because I couldn’t get my own shit together,”

“I took that pain and restructured it to fuel me so I could be the best parent I could be. I never thought I’d be sitting here in front of you. I never expected to see you again. Ever. But despite all the alarm bells, I am so fucking glad I am because I missed you, Noah. But I hate you so much at the same time,”

His face fashioned that of anguish at your last few words. It was hurting him but he didn’t look away from you, he didn’t hide his eyes, he’s now feeling what you felt that night and then some.

The anxiety. The fear, the fucking aching that burned from his gut all the way up into his throat. The pounding in his head, the heat that blanketed his skin. He can’t believe he did this to you. He can’t believe he sat across from you at the table that night, watching you fall apart and still said what he said.

“I don’t know how you expect us to rebuild anything,” your voice flows into his ears and he can feel his chest tightening, finding it harder to keep his breathing at a normal pace.

“Hell, I don’t even know how I expect us to rebuild anything but I’m going to try because that’s what you should have done!,”

“I-I know. Fuck, I.. I’m aware,” taking a deep breath to try to swallow his cries.

“I’m going to do what you couldn’t do,” a wild fire burns behind your eyes and he realizes this is a new you. The soft spoken Y/N is still there but this version of you takes no shit. You have a daughter now, you had to build tough skin

“I’m going to prove to you that fighting for what you want isn’t a lost fucking cause. I’m going to show you that no matter what is going on in your head, no matter what the voices are telling you- that I am here and I will be here until we are dust returned to the universe, Noah,”

You hated to see the way he dug his fingernails into his palms and you wanted nothing more than to grab his hands to massage the tension and cramps away.

“I know this is eating at you,” you whisper, “For the longest time I wanted it to. But not anymore,”

A great tremor overtook him, flexing his jaw to ease the ache from clenching it so hard. He had to break eye contact just this once to look up at the sky to will the tears away.

“Just take a page out of my book and take what you’re feeling to change and be better. No more apologies. Don’t be sorry, be better,”

“You sure you got everything?,” Reid packed your diaper bag into the front while you buckled Noelle into her carseat.

“Yeah I got my cooler for the bricks. My pump, extra clothes, extra wipes-,” you continue to list other items and at this point you’re not listing them to Reid, you’re listing them because you’re scared. 

“You got this,” Ms. Ernie kisses your cheek and you look at her with worry, “Don’t look at me like that. You both are going to be okay. He’s been groveling for weeks on end, he’s been respectful, if you want to back out I’m sure he’d understand?,”

“No! No. I think I’m ready. She’s already 6 months old now, he deserves this much,” It’s crazy to think that you’ve been at this with Noah for about a few months now.

You’re wrapped in an embrace of them both, Reid whispering words of reassurance as he pulls away, helping you settle in the car.

“Let us know when you get there, okay?,” Ms. Ernie waves from her front step.

You assure her that you’ll do just that. A lively wave is sent their way as you pull out of the driveway to make it to a house that you once called home, a house that could have been a home for Noelle. 

You didn’t need a GPS, you’d never forget the way there even if you tried. You could drive there blindfolded. The drive really wasn’t that long and a part of you wishes it was because when you pull up your stomach is full of butterflies. 

He’s probably nervous too. Don’t stress about it. As if he was waiting by the door, he’s out on the porch, wiping his hands on a paper towel when you exit your vehicle.

“Need help with anything?,” a nervous smirk across his face, he looks like he’s going to throw up at any second.

“Wanna grab the diaper bag and cooler?,”

He didn’t give a verbal answer. He was already down the steps and to your car before you finished asking. You grabbed Noelle’s carrier and waited for him to get the other items. Seeing him with the lavender diaper bag on his shoulder stirred a feeling inside of you. He looked like a dad, he looked good. A yearn made itself present in your body, you just wanted to be a family.

“Follow me,” 

You could tell he was excited, excited but tense. He didn’t want to fuck this up. 

Once you’re settled in the house, he heads upstairs, mumbling that he’ll be right back. When taking your jacket off to hang it on the second hook on the back of the door, you realize the hook still has your name on it. He never took it off, this was your hook, everyone knew not to hang their things on it. And beside yours, you see one for Noelle. Noah, Y/N and Noelle. Your fingers brush against the names and a smile creeps on your face.

“I know she probably already has one but I figured it would be nice if she had one here. She’ll probably end up falling asleep depending on how long you stay,”

You turn around to see a lavender playpen with her name on the side.

“In a lot of the videos and pictures you showed me, she’s wearing lavender so..,”

“Noah,” you coo, stepping over to him, “That’s so sweet,” 

You turn to Noelle in her carrier and unbuckle her, “If you wanna go wash your hands, you can hold her,”

“Yeah?,” his eyes lit up like a little kid on Christmas. He didn’t even wait for you to answer before he’s jogging into the kitchen to scrub his hands clean. About a good minute later he’s rushing back in but he seems hesitant. 

“Don’t worry,” you assure him, “I show her pictures just like I show you pictures. She knows you. She won’t really be fussy” 

You cradle her while handing her over to him.

“She likes to be held like this, just support her neck,” 

Noah takes her from you softly, his large hands make her seem so small, even at six months. He stares at her in awe and sits down gently. Noelle babbles at him, waving her hands and smiling. 

“Hiii, baby girl,” 

You can hear the tears as he speaks to her and you take a seat beside him, not bothered by how close you were.

“I’m your papa,” he chokes on his words, caressing her cheek with the back of his finger, “You’re so beautiful just like your mama,”

There weren’t many words said as Noah soaked in this moment with you watching. His breath is silently hitching from his tears but he only cries harder when Noelle reaches out and touches his cheek, seemingly wiping a tear away.

Noah sits back on the sofa, setting his feet flat on the cushion so he could lay Noelle on his thighs so that she was sitting up.

“You’re so sweet,” he kisses her hand, causing her to squeal and giggle. He looks to you with wide eyes and a bright smile

“You were right!,” 

“I told you!!,” you lean closer and watch the way Noelle is taking in the moment as well. She stares at Noah with a look of bewilderment, she’s never been around him physically yet relaxes into him like she’s known him since day one. She knows that’s her papa.

“Thank you,” he says simply, “I’m far from deserving but thank you so much, Y/N,”

“You deserve to be a dad, Noah. And she deserves one,”

“I won’t fuck this up,”

“You better not,” you poke his cheek, “Because she needs you… we both do,”

You let Noah record videos of him and her, letting him make up for lost time. He carefully danced around the living room with her while playing happy baby songs.

“I heard songs like this make them happy!,” he insisted. Each time she squealed he hugged her tighter, absolutely adoring the sound of his baby laughing with him. You couldn’t help but record some videos of your own, wanting to look back at this moment. 

The foundation still needed some work but what is life without the effort? What’s love without effort? He said he wouldn’t screw it up this time and you’re holding him to his word.

“She’s down for bed,” Noah comes down the stairs, heading to the kitchen to return with two mugs 

“She’s never fallen asleep that fast,” taking a mug from him, you smell your favorite tea in the way he used to make it. 

“Does she wake you up throughout the night? I can be on baby duty so you can rest. U-unless you planned on going home tonight. I can drive you home, I don’t want you driving while you’re tired,” he offered.

“Can we stay?,” circling the rim of your cup, finding the heat from your tea comforting. 

“You two always have a place here,” he sets the baby monitor on the table and takes a sip of his coffee. He was always a late night coffee drinker, at least it was decaf, he just liked the taste. 

There was a comfortable lull that fell over you two and sitting on this very couch in this living room felt like home, like you belonged here. You made a home out of the cabin in the countryside but *this… this is where you felt like you were meant to be. Drinking your warm beverages on the couch while your child slept, simply enjoying each other’s company.

Noah randomly stands up and turns the tv on. He’s getting a game console, plugging it up and connecting the remotes. You’re watching in confusion while he does this all as if he’s on a mission. 

Once he gets everything connected he pulls out a game case. 

Michael Jackson: The Experience

“Nooaaaaaah,” you say suspiciously, “What are you doing?,” setting your cup on the side table, you watch with a questioning frown when he moves the coffee table

“Stand up,” insisting with a wide grin, he takes your hand despite your wariness

“What are we doing, Sebastian?” 

“We’re putting all those nights practicing with the music videos to use. I scored these at a yard sale and figured we could dance to some good ole Michael like we used to,” 

He hands you a Wii remote and the butterflies erupt again, spotting the same broken lampshade that he still hasn’t gotten rid of. 

“You think you still got it?,” you tease, wrapping the band around your wrist. 

He scoffs loudly, rolling his eyes, “You wish I lost it,” 

“Put your money where your mouth is,” 

He side eyes you with a little smirk, choosing the song he wanted to dance to. You expected Thriller, hell maybe even Ghosts. But he surprised you when he chose Do You Remember the Time

“If I win. I get to take you out on a romantic date,” he sighs triumphantly, he knows since you two started to rebuild something new, you didn’t want to get too romantic just yet.

“Okay,” you nod confidently, much to his surprise, “But if I win… you’re on baby duty for a night. That means getting up to feed her, change her diaper, cuddle-,”

“All I’m seeing is a win-win situation here,” turning back to the screen he hits play, “Bring your A game. I’ve been practicing for this very moment,” 

He says it as if he’s joking but he was serious. This was a song you two spent many nights listening to, belting it at the top of your lungs during late night drives, to dancing in the kitchen to it after date night. 

This little gesture may seem like just a night of dancing to a game to you but it was much more to him. So when the gold room appeared on the screen after picking your characters, he became timorous.

The beat begins and you feel a little silly following the movements at first. You hadn’t danced with Noah in ages but he probably feels just as goofy. You notice him missing a few beats and peak to see him adoring you, the way your nose crinkles when you smile, the way your eyes move across the screen, trying to focus.

“You’re not gonna win if you keep staring at me, Sebastian!,” 

“Fuck!,”

~Do you remember when we fell in love? We were young and innocent then~

You trip over your feet as the dance begins to incorporate footwork, glaring at Noah when you hear him laughing at you.

~Do you remember, back in the fall? We’d be together all day long~

You bend your knees and shimmy your feet along the carpet while Noah stands tall and moves in the opposite direction over you. Feeling him this close, despite just playing a game, had your heart palpitating. 

You never thought you’d have nights like this again. With anyone, let alone Noah. 

You hear Noah singing to himself while he follows the dance moves to a T, seeing his score get higher than yours had you ready to wreck his streak.

“Do you remember the time when weeee first met, girl?” He sang obnoxiously while looking at you, purposely singing off key. You snicker at his expressions, missing a move but you can’t bring yourself to care. 

Noah seemed so carefree and comfortable in this moment that it started to overshadow what had once hurt you, somewhat putting it on the back burner. 

~Those sweet memories, will always be dear to me~

You and Noah are now face to face, chest to chest, you two seemed to forget the game. Both of you breathing heavily from laughing and going all out on the dance moves.

“You’re gonna lose,” you pipe up, turning around to focus back on the game. You knew that if you stood there any longer you’d have kissed him. 

Noah seemed to snap out of his daze, immediately hopping back into where he was. You have to squat in front of him for the next move and it seems to last forever, feeling the burn like you’re in the gym.

“Oh my God!,” groaning in relief when you’re finally able to move from your position but the relief doesn’t last long when you’re made to go back, moving your arms up and feeling his hands touch yours. 

It sounds dramatic but you swear you feel a little tingle when he touches you. Maybe it was static or maybe it was the fact you missed his touch. A sensation that you felt so safe in, so comfortable and loved. 

You two slide away from each other, swinging your arms back and forth. You’re still following the screen but Noah decides to freestyle. Falling to his knees to sing the song to you, you’d worry about waking Noelle up but she was a deep sleeper. 

“Do you remember girl?,” he holds his fists up, singing passionately, “On the phone! You and me!! Till dawn, 2 or 3. What about us, GIRL!!,” 

You can’t help but throw your head back in entertainment at his dramatics. He was a performer for sure.

“Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya- in the park, on the beach! You and me, in Spain! What about, what about- rrrap tap tap, rrrap tap tap!,”

His ad libs bounce off the walls and you’re losing it.

“You look insane!,” you say over his off-key singing. 

He continues to sing despite your judgment, standing up and grabbing you by the shoulders, shaking you playfully

“Yeah! Yeah! Wooo!!,” 

The game is now complete and you fall back on the couch to catch your breath.

“I freestyled and I STILL won!,” he claps and points at you, “Pick out your prettiest dress, doll face because we’re going on a DATE!,” 

He stands in front of you, hands on his hips in victory and all you can do is cherish the view.

“Come here,” you stand before him, hearing your heart pound in your ears as he steps forward until his chest is level with your eyes, his famous chain glinting in the light on the room.

“What’s up?,” the confidence he just displayed was now replaced with diffidence. 

“You better not hurt me again,” it was strange being this close to him, “If you hurt me you’ll not only lose me but Sunshine as well and I don’t want that for her. So if this is going to happen- you talk to me when your insecurities set in. You talk to me before you self sabotage. You talk to me no matter what so that you continue to show up for our little girl. Do you understand me?,”

Noah nods his head so quickly that you think it just might fall off and roll away.

“I understand. I won’t make the same mistake twice. I love you and I love our baby. I was a fool to fuck up the first time. I won’t be that again,” 

“Good,” you nod, stepping away before patting his cheek with a sly grin.

“Because you’re on baby duty tonight,” 

His jaw drops at your antics, he doesn’t mind really. He’s starting to feel like an actual father now.

“But I won!!,”

You wake up abruptly to Noelle screeching, a type of cry you’ve never heard before and you turn to see Noah’s spot empty. Scrambling to get out of bed, you rush downstairs to see him panicking, tears in his eyes and red in the face

“I’m sorry,” he muttered to her, frantically trying to calm her 

“What happened??,” you kept your composure, not wanting to stress him out anymore than he already is. He hands you Noelle and he pulls at his roots, absolutely distraught and upset with himself.

“She was hungry and I… I heated up her milk for too long. Fuck, Y/N I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-,”

“Noah,” a soft hand on his chest, “It happens. She’s okay,” 

“I made her cry,” 

“She’s okay,” you reassure, “See,” you wipe her tears and she’s just left whimpering now.

You take his hand to sit him down at the table and give Noelle back to him despite his fear

“Don’t tense up. She’ll feel it and become fussy. Relax,” 

He took heed to your words, relaxing so that Noelle could follow suit.

“I should have put a brick in the fridge to thaw,” you mention, “I usually do if I know I’ll be too tired to breastfeed but I was exhausted so it slipped my mind. A brick will usually thaw in the fridge overnight and when it’s time, just set it in a cup of warm water for a few minutes and you’ll be good to go,” 

You take her bottle and run it under some cool water, testing it on your wrist, deeming it cool yet warm enough for her to drink. You sit beside Noah and hand him the bottle. 

“Here, you’re all set. 45 degree angle while she drinks,” you instruct. He follows your words and Noelle hums around the bottle, cuddling into Noah’s shirtless chest, “She likes skin to skin contact while feeding. Now she’ll really know you’re her papa,” 

You realize this is the same table he broke your heart at, tracing the pattern of the mahogany wood. You wouldn’t let that night haunt you anymore. Here’s to new memories. Now, this table will be remembered as the table that he fed your daughter for the first time, a learning experience for him. 

“I’m so sorry for hurting you, honey,” he whispered to her, kissing her forehead while her eyes fluttered sleepily, “I’m still learning but it won’t happen again,” 

You know his words were directed to you as well, finding solace in the reassurance. 

Once you teach him to burp her, the three of you make your way upstairs and back to bed.

“You can put her in the crib,” climbing into the bed that was once yours to claim. He took the time to build her crib and didn’t even wanna put her in it.

“I will once I’m ready to sleep, I just want to spend time with her is all,” 

Despite the infant sleeping, he wasn’t ready to put her down. His hair was thrown all over his head, his eyes here heavy but he was willing to fight sleep just to hold her in his arms for as long as he could. 

“I missed out on enough, I just wanna hold her,” 

“Okay,” you nod, sitting up and scooting closer to rest your head on his shoulder, “Sing, you are my sunshine, to her. It’s her favorite song and I think she would like to hear it from you,” 

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” he begins with ease, “You make me happy, when skies are grey. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away,” 

“You are my star shine,” you add in, “My only star shine,” 

You reach over to hold her small hand, resting your hand on his chest,

“I love you so much, each night and day,” 

Noah leans his head on yours, finding comfort in the words you sing. 

“You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my star shine away,” 

You look up to Noah, refusing to move your head off his shoulder so he rears back to look at you, your face being illuminated by the little nightlight you had plugged in for Noelle.

“You are my love shine, my only love shine,” he sings lowly, surprising you that he even knows the third verse of the nursery rhyme, “I miss you so much when you’re away,” 

The smile that appeared on your face was one he’ll never forget, especially when you begin to harmonize with him quietly, watching the way Noelle snuggles into his chest as if she can’t get close enough to him. 

“You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you,” you two sing together, curling into him even more when he plants a kiss on the crown of your head.

“Please don’t take my love shine awaaaay,” 

Days had passed since that night. You and Noah alternate every couple of nights of whose place to stay at. He finally got the pleasure of meeting Ms. Ernie and Reid officially, offering his gratitude to the people who kept you and Noelle safe when he fell short. Despite his own shortcomings, they welcomed him with open arms. 

Reid currently had Noelle in the living room, both of them watching some cartoon movie while Ms. Ernie helped you with your hair, preparing for the night Noah had planned for you. 

“Do I look like I’m trying too hard?,” you turn to her, concern painted all over your face.

“You look like a beautiful youngin who is about to steal the heart of the love of their life,” 

“You flatter me,”

“Well it’s true,” she boops your nose and tucks your hair behind your ear, “You’re going to have fun!,” 

Noah wouldn’t exactly tell you what he had planned. He just said to dress in something comfortable and cute, so you stepped out of your comfort zone, going with a light floral dress, styling your hair to your comfort and a light face of makeup. 

When you heard the doorbell to your cabin go off, your stomach sank.

“Oh goodness!!,” turning to the smiling woman above you, “He’s here!! He’s 10 minutes early!,”

A light rumble comes from her, shaking her head and standing you up, “You would have still freaked out even if he showed up on time. Head up there!,”

You didn’t have time to respond due to the doorbell ringing again. A nervous Noah stood on the other side, worried that maybe you changed your mind. When the door swung open, both of you were speechless. 

You stood there, radiant as ever with Noelle in your arms. A nervous grin framed your teeth and Noah watched as you rubbed Noelle’s back, not for her comfort but for yours. You were antsy. Just as beautiful as the first day he met you when he knocked your bus token out of your hand.

Noah stood there in a plain, white shirt tucked into a pair of sleek black joggers. You noticed he cut his hair, cutting the sides short and keeping the top longer. He recreated the outfit he wore when you two first bumped into each other.

“Hi,” your throat tight around the simple word.

“H-hi,” he had a hand behind his back and stuck the other out, “Nice to meet you, my name is Noah,” 

You frown at his words until you realize this is a reintroduction.

“Hi, Noah. My name is Y/N and it’s wonderful to meet you,” 

Both of you are similar to giddy teenagers falling in love for the first time. He handed you a bouquet of your favorite flowers and you were quick to gasp. You loved flowers, you loved it even more when he gifted them to you.

Inviting him in, Noelle was quick to reach for him and he spun her around while you retrieved the glass milk bottle you received from Ms. Ernie to use as a vase.

“Looking gooooood!,” the elderly woman entered the room and pinched Noah’s cheek lightly.

“I can clean up nice!,” 

Reid entered the space and gave his compliments to the both of you and caught sight of the flowers, nudging Noah.

“Nice choice,” he whispered.

Once both of you give Noelle a ton of kisses, Noah takes your hand and guides you out to the car so you all could get your evening started.

“You gonna tell me what you have planned yet?,” hounding him as he begins to drive. 

“Dinner,” he answers, a smirk on his face to tell you that it wasn’t just dinner.

“Why so cryptic?” you poke him

“Relaaaaax,” he reaches over to grab your hand and squeeze. The two of you missing this simple gesture, feeling safe like this, like all will be okay, it will- but you’ll never get tired of the warm feeling of security. 

Noah took you out to your favorite restaurant, a nice night of expensive wine and taking bites of the other’s food. A bunch of blushing, a bunch of butterflies, laughter and unspoken I love yous. 

Now you find yourself with your hand in his, strolling downtown, him insisting that the night isn’t over. When you stop walking, you peer up to him and see an uncertain smirk on his face. Looking up to the sign on the building, you see what he had planned.

“Kiln of Sunshine,” you read aloud, “Couple’s pottery?”

All he does is laugh at your surprise and leads you inside. There aren’t many couples but it’s a nice intimate place. Dim lights strung up on the ceiling, custom printed aprons with your names on it, which he helps you put on and tie. 

When you’re directed to your designated spots, he sits behind you while you sit in front of the wheel.

“Welcome to the Kiln of Sunshine! We are a couple of potters who met through our love of art,” a young woman stands in front of the class, it’s hard to listen when Noah is so close like this. He still makes you so damn nervous.

“We created this abode to help other couples not only find a new hobby, but also grow together by means of communication and teamwork through making art!” The woman’s husband added with excitement. 

You look over your shoulder to see Noah already looking at you

“You look so beautiful,” he whispers. You have to tuck your chin into your shoulder to hide the fact your face was burning up at his compliment. 

The couple teaching gives you all step by step instructions to begin and then it’s just you and Noah left to your own devices. They gave you the guidelines but now it’s up to you and Noah to decide what you two create.

Much like a relationship. 

“Here, let’s try this,” Noah’s large, clay covered hands form to yours, his chin resting on your shoulder, “Pinch here,”

“Maybe we should coil instead,” suggesting lightly. 

“Okay, yeah,” he nods, taking in your point of view, “I think it’ll turn out better that way,”

Noah hands you the wet sponge, watching the way your tongue sticks out from your lips as you concentrate. 

“I brought us here because I came to a lot of conclusions during our time apart,” his body frames yours like a puzzle piece, after a while, instead of you taking the lead, you let his hands guide yours now.

“Yeah?,” 

“Pottery teaches us a lot about accepting faults- appreciating the imperfections and flaws that can turn into something beautiful,” he moves your hands to pinch the clay in certain spots and watch your piece come to life. 

“Furthermore, we have patience and persistence- pottery, like relationships, demands patience at every turn. To keep going in the face of difficulties, even if you don’t see the results right away. It takes time to mold something beautiful” 

Noah kept going and you’d be lying if his words weren’t tear jerking. While you two were rekindling, you had some introspective moments of your own. Realizing that there are some things you could have done differently yourself. Especially since finding out about the mental battles he was facing during the last few months of your relationship, which caused him to break it off.

You were so caught up in your own mind that you didn’t realize Noah’s actions were due to the fact that it wasn’t Noah- he pulled back from you because he was trying to figure his own labyrinthine mind out, that’s why he kept asking for time, he just felt ashamed to say it out loud. 

Both of you got time, even if it wasn’t in the most ideal form.

“I’m still learning and growing and I know I have a long way to go for you to fully trust me because of those faults, but I’m patient and I’m not going anywhere,” 

You felt him kiss your shoulder, causing goosebumps to flourish on your skin.

“Well… maybe we won’t need the water bowl to wet the sponge anymore since you’ve got me crying over here!,” 

The laughter that erupts from the two of you is boisterous, providing comedic relief in the midst of him expressing his emotions. 

“You two are doing great over here!!,” the instructor complimented the piece the two of you were crafting.

You felt the swell of pride in your chest because whether she was talking about your pottery piece or not, you and Noah are doing great.

The night progressed beautifully. You had to leave your piece at the place overnight so it could get fired and glazed before you took it home to decorate yourselves. So, Noah took you on a stroll, your hand in his, taking in the view of the pretty lights set up downtown. Finding yourselves in front of the big fountain in the center, you stick your hand out to him

“C’mon, big money. Hand over a quarter,” 

He quickly digs in his pocket and hands you a shiny coin in which you hold up to your mouth, whispering to it before throwing it in the fountain. The light plopping sound it made was satisfying to you.

“What did you wish for?,”

You notice him taking his shoes and socks off, rolling up his pant legs and you feel suspicion rising in your belly.

“That would beat the purpose of a wish!,” 

“Take your shoes off,” 

“No! I know what you’re about to do and I spent too much time on my hair and make up!,”

Noah sat you down on the edge of the fountain, removing your shoes for you

“You know that you don’t need your makeup and hair all done up for me to find you absolutely breathtaking… right?,” 

He gives you no time to reply before he’s standing you up and bringing you into the fountain, twirling you around under the raining streams. 

“Noah we’re gonna get in trouble!!,” squealing in his arms, trying to get out of them. He sets you down but before you can scold him, his wet hands are framing your face to pull you in for the long awaited kiss that he’s been wanting to give you since the day you left. 

You felt like you were in a movie. The hopeless romantic that lived within you was thriving. You were stuck in your spot for a second, realizing that since starting over, this is your first kiss and he made it so damn romantic. Pulling him in by his shirt, your lips follow his, flowing with the same desire and unspoken words.

I’m sorry.

I forgive you.

We’re going to be okay.

I don’t hate you

I love you.

I always will.

Damning your own instinctive need to breathe, you pull away from him, pressing your fingertips to your lips, still completely shocked by it all.

“I’m sorry I just… I couldn’t fight it anymore,” he looked so ethereal, wet hair sticking to his face, droplets on his cheeks and big, brown eyes staring back at you with blown pupils.

“Until the day we are returned to dust to the universe, I will love you and cherish you. I will be what I should have always been. And even then… even after we are just dust- I will find you in another timeline and continue to be that and more”

Life is a beautiful thing now. It was no longer grey and neither of you felt like you were just getting by, you were finally living. 

You didn’t want to give up your cabin, so despite all the memories the house back in the city had, you two decided to make more memories out here.

Your house was full now, filled with friends you missed dearly, all of them soaking up time with Noelle, getting used to being uncles. 

“Nuh uh!,” Noah shouts, “Folio, wash your hands before holding her,” 

“What the hell! I just did!!,” he defended, arms halfway out, ready to reach for his niece.

“Not long enough! Sing happy birthday twice if you have to- and don’t swear around my daughter!,” 

Noah fit the dad role real well. He was proud to be the father of your child. He doted on Noelle, always took pictures with her, sang to her (a lot better than you ever did) and though Noah had a love for the city, he loved being out here with you two, taking her on daily walks around the countryside while you tended to the chickens and garden. 

You thought he’d put up a bigger fight due to his career but- things were simple out here and being out here made him feel normal and domestic. This is what life was always supposed to feel like and it’s what the two of you had always envisioned. 

“Everyone get ready, dinner’s almost finished!,” Ms. Ernie hollered. She loved the guys, it didn't take long for her to warm up to people and just like she took you under her wing, she did the same for them. She even listens to their music now, she says Hedonist is her favorite. 

Folio doesn’t care to make his plate now that he has Noelle, making her squeal and laugh at his silly faces. 

Matt bumps you as he moves past you to get a drink out of your fridge, “I told you he wouldn’t take her from you,” 

“You only get one ‘I told you so’ in our friendship and you used it well. Thanks, Matty,” 

During the time you and Noah were reconnecting, you had to rebuild your friendships with the guys as well. You and Matt now have your farmer’s market dates back. You, Jolly, Davis and Folio have your bowling on Thursday nights while you and Bryan go to the movies every Tuesday because they’re half off. And Nicholas- the one who truly is like a brother, both of you had your chess game that you abandoned but he kept the board set in hopes that one day you’ll come back. 

He taught you how to play ages ago and when you finally got the hang of it, you two matched all the time, some matches going for days, this match being the longest ever due to a hiatus. 

He had the board with him, setting it up on the counter, both of you moving your pieces throughout the day.

“I know how to beat you,” staring at the board, he comes to stand beside you.

“Yeah?,” grinning as if he wasn’t about to lose.

“You have nowhere to go, Nicky,” you pick your Queen up, moving her to h5, threatening his f7. You watch him frown at your movements and you have to hide the smirk on your face. If you win, you’ll no longer be tied. 

You move your Queen to take his f7 and you check his king.

“No!,”

“Checkmate!,” clapping in victory, you jump up and down, “I still got it!!,”

“You got lucky!,” 

Despite him losing, he was always a good sport. He did teach you after all.

After dinner, Reid provided dessert, topped with a delicious honey glaze he made from his bees. Matt started a fire pit outside which left only you, Noah and Noelle in the kitchen as you two arranged to put her down for bed. He had her wrapped up against his chest while you prepared his coffee and your tea.

Noelle cooed against his chest, eyes fluttering and trying to fight sleep.

“I love you,” he searched your face, feeling blessed that he can say the words to you again. Your eyes sparkle in the warm light of the kitchen, feeling blessed to hear those words once again. You’ll never get tired of hearing it, especially because it’s all different now. It’s healthier, happier.

“And I love you,” of course you do- it was muscle memory. 

After lightly clinking your mugs together, your eyes catch sight of the fruit bowl you and Noah made in your pottery class. Your painted hand print on one side, his on the other and Noelle’s in the middle with 4 simple words written across it.

You are my Sunshine.

Stepping closer to him, his arm wrapped around your shoulder, the two of you stood in silence just enjoying each other’s presence. Finding joy in the laughter of your loved ones outside. 

All is well and always will be. Ms. Ernie was right. Sometimes second chances are worth it. 

“Thanks for adding to the sunshine instead of taking it away,”

Noah could hear the relief in your voice that things turned out for the better. He’d never give this up. Home isn’t a place, home is this moment right here and every moment after.

“Until we are dust returned to the universe.”

First and foremost i wanted to thank everyone for their patience while i worked on this!! this story means so much to me and i am grateful for the love i received on part one and hope you all enjoy this part even if it’s a little long!!!

Please be sure to reblog and comment as it helps us writers out a lot!!!

much love!

~Berry 🫐

tags: @dravenskye @babs-96 @tech-depression-inventory @magnificentstrawberryomen @mrscevans @tinyfairies @mxddymay @themorticians-world @rainy-darling @lma1986 @darknightstarryeyes @thisbicc @lilhobgobbler @lovethe-void @cind6547 @flowery-mess @widowsofchaos @abiomens @amelia-acero @collapsedglasshouses @poppy-in-the-woods @rostoken @dkxxm @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @fadingintothegrey @blairboo

[picklypickle]

- The only one -

a/n: hiii everyone!! this is my first little story, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it, if you want to see more of my writing feel free to send me a request!! Enjoy! ;) words: 1.9k

warnings: tiny bit of swearing, I wrote this with a fem reader, kinda jealous Melissa

When you walk into the staff room in the morning, the first person you notice is your beautiful girlfriend, sitting at her usual table, sipping her coffee with her work wife, Barb, right next to her. At first, she doesn’t notice you, being way too preoccupied by whatever story Barbara is telling. But when she does turn to you, with a frown still on her face from the conversation that was happening prior, her gaze softens and she gives you a soft smile only you can recognize as an “I love you”.

“There she is!” you hear Jacob saying from across the room “Where were you? How come you didn’t get here at the same time as Melissa? Oh no, did you guys fight?” He nervously says as he quickly makes his way over to you.

“Nooo!! No no, I was just running a little bit late so I told Mel to leave without me, thank you for your concern tho!” you laugh.

Everyone at Abbott knew you and Melissa were together, infact, they were the ones who had gotten you two together in the first place, six months ago and they were the biggest fans too. If anything ever happened between you two, your colleagues would probably be more crushed than you and your own girlfriend.

You hear the teacher’s lounge door open and turn around to see who it might be. Suddenly, one of your very close friends and fellow teacher at Abbott, Lauryn, bursts into the room with her usual smile plastered on her face. When she sees you waving, she makes her way over to you.

“Hey girl!! Such a nice day today huh?” she says.

“It is! Oh my god I love your dress!!” you exclaim as you look up and down at her outfit. She is wearing the most beautiful flower patterned dress. You make a mental note to look online for a similar one when you get home tonight.

“Thank you so much!! You know, I bet it would make that perfect ass of yours stand out, you should get one.” She says and proceeds to lick her lips.

You blush out of embarrassment. Did she forget you are with someone? Even worse, that Melissa is literally sitting not even 2 meters from where this very awkward interaction just took place and heard it? You quickly try and look at Jacob, trying to see if he heard the same thing, but unfortunately, he has already left and is talking to Gregory. You quickly glance over at your girlfriend who you can tell very well, has her fists clenched so hard and is fuming right now.

“Uh, thanks!” you try to say as normally as possible, trying to hide the confusion in your face.  “Um anyways, I really have to go, the kids are going to get here soon.” You quickly say and wave goodbye, smiling at her. You rush out of the room, wanting to get away from this whole situation as fast as possible. However, Melissa notices this weird behavior, as she is getting up to come check on you Barb sits her back down. 

“Melissa, you heard what she said, the kids will be getting here soon, she probably just wants to prepare everything.” she says “And besides i'm not done with my story yet, so sit back down.” she adds, while tugging at her sleeve to bring her back down.

When you get to your classroom, you start writing everything you need down on the board, such as the date and the kids schedule that they can rely on during the day. While you’re writing with your favouite purple dry erase marker, your mind starts to wander off. You start to think about how everyone has been telling you for weeks now that Lauryn might be in love with you, but you’ve just been denying it and shrugging it off. But now, you’re starting to wonder if it’s actually true. It’s not like you’re into Lauryn or anything, you have the best girlfriend in the world! Infact, Lauryn’s flirty comments are starting to make you feel uncomfortable, you thought she knew that you were dating Melissa…maybe she forgot?

Before you know it, the bell rings and your little kiddos are running in and hugging you like they normally do every morning. You snap out of your thoughts and start your lesson, you’ll deal with the issue eventually, but for now, all that matters is your students.

★

After lunch was your free period while your students were in gym class. Today, you preferred to avoid everyone and stay in your classroom to do some grading on the most recent test.

Just as you put a sticker on the last copy, you hear a soft knock at the door, you turn arround expecting to see Melissa but you’re met with Lauryn’s grin, holding her cellphone.

“Hey! Am I bothering you?” She asks, peeking into your classroom to see if anyone else is there.

“Nope, I just finished grading these papers.” You reply, gesturing to the stack of documents on the corner of your desk.

“Ahhh alright well, I need to show you this video, it’s so us!” She says excitedly and comes to stand next to where you’re sitting down.

You start to watch the video but quickly realise it’s dedicated to couples… you stop paying attention and focus more on the reflection of the glass of the phone, when you see Lauryn, she’s not.. looking at the video? You try to see what she’s looking at and realize that she is staring directly at your cleavage, practically drooling too. You get red. You get uncomfortable. You start to pray for her to leave or someone to wal-

Someone knocks at the door, again.

“Am I interrupting something?” You look up, recognizing the voice. 

Melissa is standing at the door, hands on her hips.

“Oh hey Melissa!” says Lauryn “You aren’t interrupting anything, I was just showing Y/N this video.” She goes to show Mel the clip.

Your girlfriend clearly also realizes the video is meant for couples and clears her throat, crossing her arms. This makes you look up at her. You can see that she’s jealous, she is part of the group of people that think Lauryn is in love with you and she is also not having it right now.

“Well, I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it!” Says Lauryn, she waves goodbye at the two of you and walks out of your classroom. Clearly she knows that you and Mel are together, so what is this all about?

You and your girlfriend stare at eachother for what feels like forever, until you decide to speak up first.

“Look I d-” You start.

“What the hell was that?” Your girlfriend cuts you off.

“Listen Melissa, I have no idea she just, ugh!” You say, being exhausted from this whole situation “Please don’t be mad, I don’t feel like fighting, I’ll talk to her later.” You finish.

“Hon,I'm not mad, heck if anything I'm jealous!” she says, uncrossing her arms and slowly walking towards you “She’s always making these comments and remarks about your body and undressing you with her eyes! I’m the only one who gets to do that here. And the worst part is, I can tell you hate it, it makes you extremely uncomfortable.” She continues, bending down infront of you and resting her hands on the armrests of your chair. You blush, she knows you perfectly.

“It does.” You say, getting more and more red. You quickly look down at her lips, unknowingly licking your own. The redhead in front of you notices.

“I know it does” she answers, bending her face down to yours, your mouths are inches away from each other “And no, i’ll be the one to do something about it.” 

You smile before kissing her softly, she kisses you back with just as much softness. After a moment, the kiss starts to turn more and more hungry. She places her hand on the back of your neck, pulling you closer. You smile into the kiss. The school bell suddenly rings, signaling that you have to go get your kids from the gym. 

You groan as you pull away from her mouth

“Fuck, I have to go get my kids at the gym! I’m so sorry Mel, I'll talk to you later!” You quickly peck her lips before exiting your class.

Melissa stays there for a moment, smiling to herself, thinking about how much she loves you. 

★

It’s the end of the day, you students have alrea dy gone home and all that’s left to do is go down to the teacher’s lounge to collect your things that you had left there. 

When you get there, you’re greeted by all your friends who are also gathering their things.

“Hey girl, did you have a good day? I didn’t see you around much?” Asks Janine, with a small frown, her face slightly coated in worry.

“Yes I had a good day, I just had a lot of grading to do and preferred to do it in my own space.” You reply reassuringly.

“Oh okay!” She smiles at you.

“Hey, uh, Y/N?” You recognize the voice, it’s Lauryn “Do you think maybe.. you’d wanna um, get drinks or something tonight?” She asks nervously.

“Uh, um” you have no idea what to say “I uh..”

Melissa, who was talking to Barb as per usual, notices you and Lauryn right away and decides that this is her time to shine, this is where this little Lauryn thing stops. 

“Hey, Lauryn?” Melissa says while approaching you from behind “Have you ever noticed in the last six months that, I don’t know, me and Y/N are dating? Or did you just think we were joking?”

“Oh! Well..” The girl in front of you says 

“Save it glasses, and save up that money for a new pair because this one isn’t working” Mel says “Now back the fuck off before I throw you down the stairs and the only drinks you’ll be getting are jello cups from the hospital” She finishes, before quickly turning around to grab her things and you by the arm and dragging you out the door.

“Oh, bye guys!!” She loudly says to everyone else in the room to make sure everyone heard.

“Bye Melissa!” Janine awkwardly says and makes her way towards Lauryn to check on her, not to comfort her, just to make sure no one ends up hating her in the future.

★

When you get to Melissa’s car, you can’t help but smile at her, and then well, laugh. You had no idea she was going to do this right then and there but she did. She joins the laughing fit after a few seconds.

“Oh how I love you!” You kiss her passionately before turning to your own car “I’ll see you at home sweetheart!” You yell at her before shutting your car door and starting your engine.

“I love you more hon, i’ll cook you your favorite pasta for dinner!” She yells back before shutting her car door as well.

With that, you both drive away to where was originally only Melissa’s house, but is now yours too, and you plan on it being for a very long time. Plus, you get to look for that new dress you want! 

[0cta9on]

The Gaeul in 'Lessons' 😲😳 Was there any major inspiration that made you come up with this idea?

Seeing Gaeul on the Dom side is usually uncommon but wow! Another fic showing why I'll happy let Gaeul drain me till I past out

For those who need more convincing...

I love the reaction from other members too! I could see them being lowkey jealous (especially wonyoung 🤐). I think Gaeul would get back at the members for teasing her for being single for so long.

What if Gaeul decides for her full day off, she's "too tired" to walk around the dorm and commands you to carry her around.

Specifically you're butt ass naked, Gaeul clinging to you akin to a koala holding on to a tree. Your cock sheathed inside her the entire time when carrying her, suppressing your moans when you feel her squeeze around your cock just to mess with you.

Stand and carry in a literal sense but you're just doing all the hardwork while focusing not cumming inside your mistress. Even when sitting down she remains attached to you. You're feeling good but also... not?😅

Taking it to the next level would be her purposely leading you (you're still carrying her) to be right next to her members, just so she could chat with them with the obvious intention of getting them riled up.

Do you think you could take it? Not just the stimulation from Gaeul but seeing her members getting visible horny because of you.

Would Gaeul be really harsh if you fail to hold it in? Or would she blame the members for 'intervening' and secretly giving you a little treat instead?

______________________________________________________________

LESSON ???: HOW TO SPICE IT UP

"Didn't you say you love cumming to her fancams? Can you give your mistress a good show? Cumming all over mistress's precious boy toy? "

"You would like to cum inside your mistress instead don't you?"

"Good boy~"

"Oh you'll have to do a lot more to convince me to swallow. The offer is still on the table: Give. Me. A. Good. Show~"

Hello, whisky! The whole "lessons" part of Lessons actually came from me accidentally misinterpreting the buyer's commission (They ended up liking the final product anyways, which I'm really grateful for :> ). Their original idea was for Gaeul, as the oldest member of IVE, to teach the rest of her members how to be proper girlfriends and ending with the scene at the end where Gaeul shows them that they don't have to be submissive and that the man should put in the work to pleasure their partners.

Somehow, I interpreted that as Gaeul taking lessons on how to be a proper girlfriend and being unhappy with the notion that women should always be submissive. In the end, the buyer liked it and I also quite liked the final product, so I consider this a happy little accident :]

This took a little while because of my personal life getting a little hectic, but I couldn't not write a semi-sequel to Lessons with the fuel that you have me :> I went into a bit of a different direction, but I hope you enjoy it regardless. Unedited, but it's whatever :>

Gaeul slowly drags her soft, wet tongue across the bottom of your shaft, watching in delight as you helplessly squirm from the sensation. With your wrists handcuffed to her bedpost, all you can do is let your mind melt as she tortures you with pleasure.

“You better not cum yet, or else I’ll-”

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

“Gaeul- Oh.” Liz’s face turns bright red as she sticks her head through the door. “Um, it’s your turn to wash the dishes.” She gives you a polite yet awkward nod before leaving. 

Gaeul groans, face planting into your stomach. “I don’t wanna wash the dishes,” she complains, her voice muffled against your skin. Suddenly, she shoots her gaze up at you, climbing into your lap until her face is mere inches from yours. “Yah, you should do the dishes for me.

You scoff, coming down from your high. “Don’t I already take care of you enough? In more ways than one, might I add.”

She sighs before climbing off of your lap and heading to the door. “Fine, then I guess you’re okay with staying here like that while I go wash the dishes?” She raises an eyebrow at you, gesturing towards your constraints.

“W-wait,” you say, conceding. “I’ll do it.”

She smirks at you, grabbing the key from her nightstand. “Good boy~” You bite your lip, suppressing a moan as the word dances against your ears, making your skin shiver with elation. Her smirk widens as she suddenly begins to strip in front of you, revealing her slender body that you love to worship.

Gaeul sits on your lap once more, resting her whole body weight on your erection. “Why don’t we make things interesting~?” She bites her lip, slowly impaling herself onto your cock. A deep, guttural moan escapes your lips as you bottom out inside of her.

“Do all my chores without cumming inside me and then I’ll give you a little prize at the end. Can you do that for me, baby?” She whispers into your ear. 

You nod, unable to produce a coherent word as her velvety walls squeeze your shaft. After Gaeul unshackles you from the handcuffs, you struggle to carry her to the kitchen, constantly fighting the urge to thrust into her petite body.

You peer into the sink only to find a couple dirty dishes inside. Gaeul could’ve easily done them herself, but as her manager and her boyfriend, you live to please her, even if it means enduring the most cruel and unusual punishment you’ve ever faced. 

You manage to wash a few of the dishes with relative ease, but in typical Gaeul fashion, she decides to make things even more difficult for you. Sucking on your neck, nibbling your ear, grazing your back with her fingernails, pressing her tits into your chest, it’s as if this woman was created specifically to be the death of you. Eventually, you have to take a breather after nearly exploding inside of her.

“You still have a couple dishes left, what’s the matter?” she teases. “Are you disobeying your mistress’s orders?”

“N-no, mistress, I-I’m just taking a b-break,” you reply.

Gaeul shifts her weight around, causing your legs to nearly give out from underneath you. “Did I say you could take a fucking break?” She digs your nails into your chest, not enough to cut but enough for it to burn your flesh.

“I-I’m sorry, mistress.”

“Ugh,” Wonyoung groans, walking into the kitchen. “Do you really have to do that in the middle of the kitchen?”

Gaeul’s threatening expression suddenly shifts into a cheeky grin as she wraps her arms around your neck in a pleasant hug. “First of all, this is technically all your doing, and second of all, I finally got a boyfriend after so long, let me enjoy this.

Wonyoung rolls her eyes. “Whatever. I’m heading out.”

“Don’t cause any trouble!” Gaeul calls out to her before glaring back at you with a lustful smirk. “Now, finish washing the dishes, you fucking dog.”

“Y-yes, mistress.” You finish cleaning off the last plate as she sucks on your neck, marking you for the world to see. Your supervisor might ask about those tomorrow, but he fades into the back of your mind as you melt into Gaeul’s touch, riding on the edge of bursting inside of her.

“Oh, you’re done? Good boy~” She giggles, finding great joy in watching you squirm and moan with every small movement she makes. “Now, take me back to my room so we can—”

“Gaeul!” Yujin calls out from her room. “Can you help me with something?”

Gaeul slams her forehead against your chest in frustration. “Ugh, why can’t you ask Rei or Liz!?”

“They’re busy right now. Please?” she begs. Gaeul mutters a harsh expletive under her breath, squeezing your cock in the process. You grunt as her fingers wrap around your throat, pressing against your windpipe.

“You better fucking hold it, or else,” she threatens. “Hurry up and take me to Yujin’s room.”

“Yes, m-mistress.” You support her supple thighs, stumbling through the hallway as the lack of air and overstimulation turns your brain into goop. It barely renders in your mind that you’re face to face with Yujin’s door.

“Hey, you two!” she greets without batting an eye at the vulgar scene in front of her. You sit down on Yujin’s bed, just barely clinging onto the last ounce of sanity you have left. The need to follow your mistress’s orders is much stronger than your need to chase after any kind of self-pleasure, so you sit there and focus on your breathing while Gaeul keeps your cock in a chokehold.

“What did you need help with?” she groans, glaring at Yujin.

“I’m going on a date later and I’m having trouble deciding what to wear.” Yujin pulls out two dresses from her closet, both nearly identical aside from one being black and the other being white. “What do you think?”

Gaeul yanks your hair, forcing a moan out of you as she shifts her weight. “Are you kidding me?! You dragged me all the way over here just for this!?” She angrily gyrates her hips around your cock, more for herself rather than you. You try to think about anything else to keep your climax at bay, your supervisor, tomorrow’s schedules, whether or not you cleaned the dishes properly, but it’s becoming increasingly harder with each time her skin slaps against yours.

“You know how indecisive Liz is, and Rei would’ve just picked a random without looking. You’re the only one here that can help me!” Yujin exclaims.

“I cannot fucking believe you right now!” Gaeul growls. “Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something important right now!?”

Yujin pouts, turning towards you. “What about you, manager? What do you think I should wear?”

With the overwhelming wave of pleasure coursing through your veins at this moment, you can barely make out the dresses as she presents them to you. Hell, you’re surprised that you even managed to understand her question in the first place. Gaeul certainly isn’t making this easy for you, but that doesn’t matter. Your only purpose is obeying your mistress.

“B-black… Black is—Hngh! G-good…” you manage to utter.

“Uh, Gaeul? Is he okay—”

“Shut the fuck up!” Gaeul screams at her before leaning into your ear, her nails digging into the flesh of your back. “I’m so fucking close, baby. I don’t care if she’s here, just fucking cum in me already. Fill me with your fucking seed!”

You grip onto her tight ass as you meet her thrusts with your own, desperate to obey your mistress’s orders. All the pain, the suffering, the waiting, it’ll all finally be worth it. Everything else fades away, leaving you and your mistress to chase the highs of your orgasms together. Gaeul catches your lips in hers as the both of you moan into each others’ mouths, collapsing into a ball of utter bliss.

“H-holy… shit…” Gaeul pants, her hot breath dancing on your neck. “This is why I fucking love you. You better have some more energy left cuz I’m not done yet, do you understand?”

“Y-yes… m-mistress…” You barely have enough energy to keep yourself upright, but if that’s what she wants, then that’s what she’s going to get.

“Wow, that was…” Yujin bites her lip, her cheeks bright red as she watches the two of you recover. “Would you two ever be interested in a foursome—”

“He’s mine!” Gaeul hisses at her. She slaps your cheek, bringing you to full attention. “Bring me to my room, now!”

“Yes, mistress!” In an instant, you march out of Yujin’s room, still connected to Gaeul. The last thing you see is Yujin’s pouting expression before you shut the door behind you, finally alone with your one true love.

Gaeul places a gentle kiss on your cheek. “You’re such a good boy~” The words tickle your ear like a pleasant song, only for that pleasant feeling to be ripped away right as her fingers close around your neck. “But remember - you belong to me. You are my toy. My property. Do you understand that?”

You fight back a moan, her harsh grip around your neck and that lustful fire in her eyes making you rock hard once again. As her manager, most people would think that you’re the one that bosses her around and disciplines her when she causes trouble. In the public eye, that might be true. But behind closed doors, when it’s just the two of you, you know exactly who’s boss.

“Yes, mistress.”

[cyberels]

IT WILL COME BACK

PLEASE GOD LISTEN TO IT WILL COME BACK BY HOZIER IT MAKES THE FIC BETTER GOD BLESS

(my requests are on btw plsss send fic ideas pleaseee)

PART TWO HERE CUZ MY DUMBASS FORGOT TO ADD IT my bad

summary: ellie hates one night stands, while you couldn’t care less. she barely manages to catch your name before you’re pulled away from her. she makes it her goal to find you again.

warnings: NSFW, MDNI!!!, drinking, language

(i am a whore for subby!ellie so that’s all i wrote in this fic, it’s all e!receiving)

wc: 2.4k

a/n: okay i so lied about the other fic it’s not done yet so take this one instead lol it’s my first time writing smut in years so… please be patient if it’s not good i will improve eventually 🙏 (i didn’t proofread this, sorry if it sucks LOL)

my masterlist

divider credit to benkeibear :)

The music's overwhelming, and you're certain your hearing's screwed, if it wasn’t already. The lights flash, illuminating the room and all the people in it. You'd been told this was just a small get together, so why are there so many people here? who goes all out for a fucking get together?

you stick to the corner of the room, sipping your drink occasionally while you pretend to scroll through your phone to look casual. originally, your plan was to stay home and study for finals, but you agreed to go because your friend had promised she'd be with you the whole time.

“come onnnnn, don’t be lame. just fuck someone and have a good time, you’ve been studying for like yearsssss.” your friend pleaded. somehow she was already drunk.

“i’m not really in the mood for a hookup—“

“liar, your ass was swiping through tinder not even 30 minutes ago.” she grins at you, “look, let’s just go to the party, yeah? have a good time and shit, get fucked up… maybe get fucked, you feel me?”

“you’re stupid and i hate you.”

“you love me.”

…unfortunately for you, your friend's plan to stick with you only lasted about 15 minutes before she saw her old fling and disappeared up the stairs with them, so you're on your own now. great.

screw it. might as well have some fun, too. you push yourself off the wall, discarding your empty cup on some random shelf, and immediately going to grab another drink to replace it. you look around, maybe a hookup wouldn’t be so bad?

you never believed in divine timing, but you lock eyes with a girl that’s sitting on the couch across from you right when you decide to find someone to fuck. you can’t bring yourself to look away; you’re too dumbfounded that there’s a girl here that’s literally the human embodiment of your type.

the girl smiles back at you, also not breaking eye contact. she beckoned for you to sit down on the couch next to her.

ellie was never the type for one night stands, if she was gonna fuck someone, she’d want them back for more later. but there was just something about the way your outfit hugged your body that made her not care at the moment.

ellies previous situationship had gotten a girlfriend without warning, so needless to say she was in the market for someone else to take her spot. when she saw you and the way you were looking at her like she was the only girl at this stupid party, she figured you were just as desperate for sex as she was right now.

you carry your shot of don julio back as you flop onto the seat across from the girl. you quickly take the shot, being unable to stop the cringe on your face as the alcohol burns your throat. real smooth, she’s definitely gonna wanna fuck you now—

“can’t handle your tequila?” she teased, leaning closer to you so she was able to be heard over the music.

“shut up, i can’t help that it tastes like fucking nail polish remover.”

ellie laughs at your response, and you swear you’ve never heard something so fucking cute before in your life. you try to play it cool, but the way she’s looking at you is making you practically drool. you tense as you unintentionally conjure up a mental image of her hands up your shirt, her lips on your skin, her fingers in your—

“at least it gets the job done.”

you blink a few times, her voice ripping you from your fantasy, “yeah, it does. ‘specially don julio, that shits like a hundred bucks a bottle.”

“and it’s worth every fucking penny, dude.”

you hadn’t expected to be fantasizing about some random girl fucking you, but… here you were. maybe it’s the tequila, or the few drinks you had beforehand, but you decided you absolutely needed this girl despite only speaking two goddamn sentences to her.

your eyes fall to the hallway, moving towards an empty bedroom door, and then back to the girl. you never were a fan of small talk, anyways.

ellie’s breath catches when she follows your gaze to the bedroom. she had been hoping for a distraction from the party, and she was just as eager for you as you were for her.

“wanna go talk in there?” you smiled, nodding towards the room. “it’s quieter.”

the girl grins back, not bothering to answer, just getting up and grabbing your hand, leading you into the bedroom.

usually you’d try to learn her name first, or at least learn more about her, but not tonight, not with her. you needed her as quickly as possible.

you barely let her lock the door before you push her roughly onto the bed, a mischievous smile spreading across your face as you move your body to straddle hers. “you sure you wanna do this?”

“yeah, i’m sure.”

“perfect. gonna be good and let me take control?”

ellie's eyes widened. she’s not normally the submissive type, but… tonight was a different game, and you were hot, so she simply nodded in response as you moved to press kisses into her neck.

you shake your head, pulling away from her for a moment, “nuh uh, not a good enough answer. use your words.”

“mmh— i’ll be good, i’ll let you take care of me.” ellie chokes out, heat pooling between her legs already, and all she wants is to grab your hand and shove it down her pants.

“perfect, good girl.” you coo, rolling your hips and dragging your crotch over hers, your jeans colliding with her sweatpants. your movements are slow and deliberate, you know exactly what you’re doing.

you brush your lips over hers, but you don’t kiss her, instead you move to the side of her face, leaving a trail of kisses across her jawline.

ellie whimpers, “teasin’ me.”

you laugh in response, “maybe i am, pretty girl. you’re gonna have to prove you deserve it before i give you more.”

the noises she made in response go directly to your clit, and if you weren’t having so much fun teasing the girl, you’d be touching yourself right about now.

the other girl grabbed the hem of your shirt, forcing your lips against hers. you moan into the kiss, tangling your hands in her hair and pulling slightly.

ellies so enamored that she doesn’t even realize your knee slipped between her thighs, and she instinctively pulls away as you press your knee further into her, “fuck, ah— s’good, baby.”

you grin, moving your knee up and down slowly, “you like that?”

“yeah, i fucking— shit, baby, fuck—“

you barely give ellie the opportunity to speak before you replace your knee with your hand.

you trail your kisses down to the hem of her pants, smiling up at her, “this alright?”

“fuck yeah it is.”

you giggle, continuing to move your hand slowly against the other girls clothed slit as you place more kisses onto her thigh.

after a moment, you pull back and tug on her pants, “need these off of you.”

you know you sound desperate, but you don’t care.

ellies cunt aches at the absence of your touch, so she quickly obliges, leaving just her boxers on, “take yours off too, babe, please. wanna see you.”

you want to deny her and play your game a little longer, but there's something about the way she’s looking at you, eyes watery and half-lidded, that makes it impossible to say no, “only ‘cause you asked so nicely.”

soon enough, both of you were left in just your underwear and bra, and you thank god you wore a cute set tonight. the only regret you have is not bringing your strap, because god do you want to get this girl pregnant.

“so fucking hot.” you say, moving back so you could see her whole body. you move your hand to trace along her tattoo, and you smile at her, “you’re so fucking pretty.”

ellie whimpers again, and she moves your hand back to her throbbing clit, “more.”

“m’not done admiring you.” you say, “you can wait a little while longer.”

you lean closer to her again, pushing her bra back slightly and sucking on the skin, leaving small red marks across her chest.

at this point, ellie is certain she cannot wait any longer, her legs squeezing together to try and get some friction. “mmh, can’t wait baby, need you now. please— fuck, oh my god— please, baby.”

you push her legs back open, giggling, “you’re so cute when you’re needy. stop moving, m’gonna take care of you eventually.”

your move so your head is in between the other girls thighs, and you place gentle kisses on the girls legs, leaving more red marks every now and again.

“fuck, please touch me, you’re killing me— you can’t do this to me. fuck.”

you grin, you hand hovering over the girls crotch now, just barely touching her, “you’re such a little slut for me, aren’t you? you don’t even know my name and you’re still begging me for more.”

ellie presses your hand down further into herself, she’s getting tired of waiting, “god, babe— please, i need it. please baby, i’m bein’ good, please.”

you bite your lip to stifle a moan, “so fucking hot when you beg.”

your hand moves to her clit, and you rub small circles into her. you’re moving painfully slow, but you can’t let her win just yet, you like hearing her whimper. “so wet already, pretty girl. you’re turning into my bitch, huh?”

you’d be lying if you said you weren’t wet too, and the sounds of ellies moans aren’t helping your case, but ellie doesn’t need to know that right now.

ellie goes to say something in response, but you don’t give her the chance, you speed up your movements, and she whines pathetically into the pillow she has pressed up against her face.

“not— not fair.” she whimpers, “fuck, faster— m’ gonna—“

“not yet.” you say, stopping what you were doing and tugging off her boxers. you’re certain you know the answer, but you ask again, “this alright?”

“mhm.” ellie replies, biting her lip, she can’t bring herself to say anything more. she wants this so bad.

you discard her boxers on the floor, and then bring your head in between her thighs again, “want you to cum in my mouth.”

ellie nods eagerly, and once again moves to press your face into her cunt. she forgets she’s in public for a second, unable to hold back her moans. she’s lucky the music's loud, because god she felt like she was going crazy with how good it felt.

you lick a stripe into her already sopping wet slit, and after a minute, you get to work. the second you stop teasing her, it only takes a few seconds for her to cum all over your face.

the noises she makes as she finishes make it hard for you to focus on anything else, your own clit begging for her touch, but before you do anything else, there’s a bang on the door.

you can’t hear exactly what the person outside is saying, but you’re able to hear one word, cops.

well, fuck, at least the other girl got to finish. you’d definitely be taking care of yourself once you got home.

“shit, i’m sorry.“ the girl starts, grabbing your clothes and throwing them towards you before putting hers on, “usually i wouldn’t just—“

“it’s fine.” you insist, “i’m just glad i got to make you feel good.”

ellie could die, right there on the spot. you look so fucking hot, and right now she was yearning to return the favor and make you feel good, too. “what’s your name?”

you smile and tell her, and then start to ask for hers, but you’re interrupted by the banging starting again. you grab her hand once you both are clothed, and run out of the house.

it didn’t take long before your friend spotted you, pulling you away from the girl and into the uber she called.

“dude, who the fuck would call the cops? it wasn’t that loud of a party— uh, dude, your shirts on backwards.”

“my wh—“ you look down, and sure enough, it is on backwards. that's…. embarrassing. “oh, well, um—“

“—no way! you— with who?! i thought you said you weren’t in the mood for that? you’re such a liar!”

“i don’t know her name.” you admit, brushing your hands through your hair, “wish i did. the cops got called before i could… y’know.”

you didn’t want to say anything further, deciding to spare the poor uber driver of knowing the details of your sex life.

“maybe you’ll find her again, it’s not that big of a town.”

“maybe. but it’s no big deal if i don’t. i don’t normally keep track of my hookups.”

“yeah, but usually you get to finish, too.” she counters.

“it’s whatever, i don’t mind.” you shrugged, and it was the truth. you had toys at home that would satisfy you enough, you’d just use them.

and that’s exactly what you did when you got home.

you turned on the shower and cleaned yourself up when you were done. usually your hookups don’t stick with you like this, but this girl was just so damn hot, and the way she begged— god. you figure you should probably think of something else, because you’re gonna make a mess of yourself again if you keep going like this.

when you hopped into bed, you still couldn’t get the image of her out of your head. this… wasn’t normal for you.

you even fucking dreamt of her that night, and you cursed at yourself once you woke up, because now you were aching for her touch once more.

stupid, you think, i’m so stupid. can’t get attached, don’t even know her name.

luckily enough for you, you don’t have to worry about that much longer. when you open your phone, there’s a dm waiting for you.

…how the fuck?

[xstarkillerx]

you think lance and his pretty cheerleading gf have a little chastity agreement? she’s in a small town, she goes to church, she knows the values of virginity. but somehow he convinces her she’s still a virgin if he fucks her ass

I've been thinking about this all day with a fucking pit in my stomach because GOD YOU JIST KNOW WHAT'LL DRIVE ME CRAZY.

Listen, I think Lance has a unique relationship with pain. He's been pushed by his coach to play on an injury for what might be years now, the doctors talk about the heaps of scar tissue they had to remove from his knee when he finally went to the hospital, he is extremely extremely familiar with ignoring his own pain and smiling through it. Why I bring this up is... Anal. The discomfort, the way his little girlfriend whines and whimpers and squirms while he sticks his fingers in her ass to stretch her out. Not only is he familiar with pain, I think he has a fascination with the euphoria that comes from the intersection of pain and pleasure.

I think Lance has a nasty habit of shoving his cock in just a little too fast, tells her it's because he can't help it she just feels too good but the truth is he loves the way it makes her squeak, loves the way her pretty face twists up when he does it. It hurts? He knows all about hurt, keep pushing and it'll feel good, baby I promise. Sometimes she gets fed up with his shit and smacks his arms and chest just to try to express a glimmer of how much it pisses her off when he does that. Never too hard though, never as hard as she'd like and never close enough to that stupid pretty face of his because, god forbid they start a fight over it and there goes her ticket out of town.

Don't even get me started on the chastity bit like UGHH a whole other layer!!!!! Him being this perfect golden boy in town, shows his face at church every Sunday after the big Friday night games. Kid's a celebrity, and he's out here convincing his girlfriend to let him slather his cock up with baby oil and shove it in her asshole in the back of his truck, raw too might I add, because if he can't get her up the duff how bad can it really be? She's still a virgin, never had a set of fingers shoved up that pussy, she's pure as the snow. And meanwhile she's desperate to get out of this town, and so hungry for love, for connection, security, she lets him. It ain't all bad though, lance loves eating her pussy, loves her pretty big ol tits, and grabbing her ass in front of people letting them know she's spoken for. 🥴

Thanks for indulging me Indybug let's look at his pretty face

[sematarygirls]

Aye! I loved the age gap relationship with Carisi! Can I ask you to do a similar one but with a younger female ADA? (Who happens to love everything vintage)

(i study law and Barba, Novak & Carisi are like the holy trinity of law I pray to when I have a trial simulation 😁)

-some NSFW too if you’re up to?-

— Alex

i'm so glad you liked it! admittedly, i don't know much about law, so i hope this is okay!

                   ౨ৎ

he will stop by thrift stores, antique stores, yard sales, etc, whenever he sees them to browse and see if he finds anything you might like. he loves surprising you with little gifts

he'd definitely be at a yard sale, blushing while paying for something he found that he knew you'd love. he'd feel a little silly and feel the need to mention that it's for his girlfriend, not himself.

your office and desk are littered with little trinkets and things that you've collected, and sometimes, you'll find that he's wordlessly left something else to add to your collection.

when you ask him about it, he'll just shrug and say it made him think of you, as if it was no big deal that he constantly went out of his way to buy things that reminded him of you. but, to you, it was everything.

you guys would both be very, very busy, both being lawyers and working long, odd hours for cases which would hinder you from spending time together, but he'd make up for it whenever he can.

he would leave little notes around the apartment, your office, your books, etc. it's sort of like a game for you to find these little love notes that he's hidden.

he also loves to call and check in on you, see how you're doing, make sure you're eating, drinking water, not letting your case completely consume you. you insist that he can text you, but he's old, so he likes to call.

lunch break makeout sessions are frequent occurrences. it's sort of exciting for him. he thought the days of him sneaking around and making out like a lovesick teenager were far behind him, but with you, he can't seem to control himself. you're so beautiful and smart and incredible. he can't help but want to kiss you and touch you all the time.

also, if you two haven't had a date in awhile, he would buy a bunch of shit from the vending machine and swing by your office, so you two could have a mini date and spend some time together. if you were really deep into a case, he'd insist on helping. he'd want you to tell him all about it while you two ate the crappy junk food he brought.

he's very serious about work. work time is work time, and you respect that. but, he definitely can't help when his mind wanders to you every so often. he's a bit of a daydreamer when it comes to you. plus, he wouldn't be able to help staring like a fool whenever he saw you, even if he was supposed to be in serious work mode.

he would love to mentor you and teach you everything he knows about law. he wants to see you succeed and knowing that he can help you do that makes his heart swell.

loves to see you kick ass in court. he feels so proud watching you win a case and just overall dominate in the courtroom. plus he'd be lying if he said it didn't turn him on a little bit

when you two finally get some time together, he would go all out. he'd buy you flowers, cook you a nice dinner, light candles, litter the bed in rose petals— the whole nine yards

and when you two are done eating, he would take you to the bedroom and take his time with you. he'd want to worship your body, show you just how much he loves you, and has missed you. it would be romantic, slow, intimate, and just overall absolutely perfect

[cryptids-and-muses]

Post canon homestuck crew play Dungeons and Dragons

Karkat and terezi

Co dms

Unstoppable when actually working together

Terezi will get sidetracked messing with karkat

Karkat trying to write a deep and well fleshed out campaign that’s thematically resonant vs terezi’s desire for chaos and traps and trying to “trick” her players FIGHT

Terezi believes in karma and will make the world bend to this

Karkat is trying to set up romance arcs and argues about how it adds to the theming

Dave draws them fanart of their characters. Terezi loves it while karkat argues about accuracy before admitting yes he also appreciates it

Calliope also does fanart and karkat praises her skill and accuracy unlike some people

John

Arcane trickster rogue

Forest gnome

Just a goofy little guy!

Mostly just playing to have fun, starts off with a fun but simple character who develops over time

Ends up SUPER invested and taking this so so seriously

Karkat worked a dramatic reveal into the, in his words, “bare ass bones two paragraphs that a fucking wiggler could have written backstory” and John did not see it coming and loved it

Goes head to head with terezi a lot on her various traps she designs for them. She is getting more and more absurd with it. Karkat had to talk to her about breaking the world building with things she’s introducing. He is the only rogue. Send help.

Rose

Drow warlock

Tries to justify picking drow as anything other than she just thought it was cool

Nearly went old ones for patron but settled on archfey for story reasons

Has a 10 page lore document detailing her tragic past and her toxic relationship with her patron

It became 15 pages after going back and forth with karkat for a bit and adding even more

Only her and one other person are taking the romance arcs seriously and they become karkat’s favorite players

Tries playing morally ambiguous but terezi can be annoying about that and claims it’s just “the consequences of her actions”

Her and karkat both get very very into the scenes between her and her patron, the drama! The acting! Dave is uncomfortable and karkat brushes it off, it’s not like him role playing as his sister’s abusive girlfriend is weird. It’s in fact very important to the plot Dave

Has written fanfic of the campaign

Jade

Dragonborn barbarian

Path of the beast

Don’t ask me I just know

Her GLEE when she says “I’m gonna rage :D”

ANIMAL COMPANION! She nearly went ranger just for that but knew she wouldn’t have as much fun. Found a way to get one anyway.

It was harder naming her animal companion than her character

Having fun and likes the problem solving side of things, but likes breaking things with her massive strength just as much

Terezi likes to throw stuff at her, both traps and encounters, and finds it funny if she can just wreck her way through

“See John that’s how you deal with a pressure plate trap”

Takes the rp side of things very seriously

Once argued with Karkat over if her favorite npc would do that and cursed him out

Has read roses fanfic of the campaign

Dave

Plays a teifling with grey skin and orange horns

“What are you talking about karkat this is just my dude, don’t you like him?”

Hellus Jeffus

He’s a valor bard, eventually multiclasses paladin

Starts out just trying to mess with people but like John starts getting into it, though he tries to down play it

Have hellus more of himself than he realized and it’s making him face things about himself

Eventually hellus self sacrifices to save the party in this deeply intense moment. There were tears, Dave was wrecked, they went on a whole quest to revive him. It was touching and karkat is smug

Dave might have worked through some things

Jane

Halfling cleric

Her and John are small buddies!!!

Started out life but wasn’t having a lot of fun with it so with terezi’s permission switched to war or tempest with later s few levels in fighter

Her John and Jade are the biggest front liners, John’s character ends up really close with both of them as it’s easier for the rogue to bond with the person giving them sneak attack

Jade and jane’s character have an in game arm wrestling match

Took a bit to get into the rp side of things but eventually got the hang of it

Roxy

Tabaxi, easily, it’s so obvious

After much deliberation settles on glamour bard (though wizard and rogue were tempting for the joke, she wanted to branch out)

So many horny bard jokes but very little actual follow through, karkat gets frustrated by this as she’s all this talk but isn’t pursuing any of the romance options he’s giving her

She has SECRETS! She is HIDING THINGS!! Her cheery persona is a FASADE!!!

Cue complaining to karkat about how hard it is to wait to tell the others about her secrets and him threatening violence if she tells anyone before the in game reveal

She tells jake

Lots of egging on Dave and helping him with his fucking around

The BOND between her and Dave!!! They are the duo to end all duos. Team rocket type shit. There is nothing stronger than the bond between the bards of the party. My theory is it has to do with trading bardic inspiration.

Dirk

Half elf Druid circle of spores

Wildfire seemed fun to him but wasn’t as good

Wasn’t originally planning on being a Druid but after going over all the classes he liked all the customization and decisions that go into Druid like prepared spells and such

Didn’t really think about his backstory much, just improved something. He keeps improving new additions and it’s getting more and more elaborate and complicated. He has multiple hidden and long lost siblings by this point. Still doesn’t write any of this down. If he messes a detail up he justified it with more improv.

Yes his character has spiked up red hair and sunglasses. Don’t question how the Druid got sunglasses karkat.

Really likes the tactics side of things, he’s even pitched a few things to terezi she updated and later worked in

Sometimes works on plans and strategies out of game or making a million back up characters that play off the others in interesting mechanical ways

Is considering becoming a dm some time

Jake

Needed some help making his character, he just didn’t know where to start

Eventually after much discussion settles on a teifling bladesong wizard

Wanting to get away from his usual adventurer style Roxy helped with the backstory and they came up with this evil scientist raised in a cult who’s good hearted but was never taught right and wrong

He gets very into playing him and his moral struggle but can lean a little too good for his backstory, karkat points this out and Jake swears to get better at it

Dave pitched a lot of names for them and it was eventually settled on “Bernard Gunn” even though he has a sword. Jake just likes how it sounds

“Why is he blue jake?” “…..uhhh” “why is he blue?”

Calliope

SHE LOVES THIS SO MUCH

Teifling Druid with a focus on healing

Circle of shepards

Not a troll color pallet like Dave though, honestly it might get a bit trickster

Beautiful backstory that she coordinated with one of the others to make joint. The most obvious choice is Roxy but I think it was actually jade, Jane or John.

She gets so into it you guys, like so into it

Gives at least one dramatic speech completely on the fly

The other character who takes karkat’s romance arcs seriously and his other favorite player

Has also argued with terezi about world building and consistency. This may put her above rose in karkat’s eyes

Was also allowed to read rose’s fanfiction and offered full on reviews

Also considering going into doing but for the opposite reasons to Dirk

Vriska

Fairy artillerist artificer with a dip in war magic wizard

Min maxxed to hell and back

(Technically there was a better race, but fairy has its own advantages and she couldn’t resist)

An elaborate backstory too with some secrets of her own, I’m thinking full on lost princess

Yes she is That Player, you know the one

Has nearly been kicked multiple times and now won’t leave on principle

Not the best at sticking with the party and not just doing whatever she wants, but suprisingly Dirk has been able to talk her into it with his talk of tactics and playing smart

Second most effective is John who just looks at her like “vriska you’re not making this very fun :(“

Kanaya

Fire genasi ranger

Really tried to get into it but this just isn’t her thing so eventually decided to leave the group

Karkat came up with a fun story reason for her to leave and eventually brought her character back as an Npc

Did help rose make a cosplay of her character, after which John, Calliope, and Roxy wanted to make ones too

Vriska eventually tried to “manipulate” into helping her make one for her character

[fandomestuff]

I've seen many people shit on the live action atla ((as we should this is such a bad adaptation and honestly a mid show in itself)) but I haven't really seen people talk stuff about Sokka and Suki

And I want to point out a couple of things that I absolutely hated about what they did to them in live action.

1. The kiss

I hate that they made them kiss at the end of the episode. I hate it so much. Like yes, in the original they both clearly had feelings for each other (especially that later Suki talks about losing sb very important to her, who we know was Sokka), but they weren't rushed like that.

In the original they both grow so much between their meetings. Sokka finally gets together with a girl (not the first girl he meets that's his age, like Suki), kisses sb for the first time, travels the world, meets new people and in general matures.

We don't know much about what Suki is doing during that time, but we know she finally does sth that helps people during war, sth that she said was important to her. She can finally put her skills in leadership to greater use and she feels great about it. She also matures during that time and we know that she still thinks about Sokka and misses him.

Them kissing immediately makes their relationship so much more bland and just... flat.

2. If they make all three seasons, we will probably not get the most iconic line of the show...

Because now Sokka's first girlfriend is technically Suki...

3. The whole scene with Suki teaching Sokka

I cannot empathise enough how important Sokka's sexism is in their relationship. It's something that Suki fixes in him, something she manages to show him... by absolutely kicking his ass. In live action... the fight scene next to those melons was a joke not a fight scene if I can be honest. Idk if it's the writing or the choreography or the actors but it looks so fake and just so bad 💀 And she attacked him while he was still "stretching"??? Suki would never.

What is this 💀💀

But the most important scene, and the one I hate the most in live action, is the one where Suki teaches him a very sacred and traditional and important to Suki and to her culture way of fighting.

In the original, Suki highlights that no man should learn their art and only after Sokka begs Suki to teach him does she agree.

But not without a very important piece that was fully missing from live action which baffles me so much.

The entire armor, the dress and make up.

Not only is it incredibly important to upholding the traditions and keeping the cultural aspect important, but the beautiful, might I add, outfit gives us the depth of Kyoshi Warriors that is just missing from the live action.

"The silk thread symbolizes the brave blood that flows through our veins. The gold insignia represents the honor of the warrior's heart."

It's beautiful. It's meaningful for both of them. It's important. And it's also a way for Suki to mess with Sokka which we love and stan.

I ALSO DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SUKI TOOK OFF HER MAKE UP FOR THE ALMOST KISS AND THE KISS. It's not like being a Kyoshi Warrior is sth that's bothering her. NO. She's incredibly proud of it!! So. why. take. an. important. part. of. it. away. for. some. stupid. kiss.

WHY NOT GO THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION?? Instead of her taking off her make up for the romantic scene why not just... put make up on Sokka... honestly what's more romantic than putting make up on your crush.

They could have made such a beautiful and intimate scene between these two.

Them sitting in front of each other. Suki putting on Sokka's make up, while either talking about herself or about how important this whole set up is for her and her culture. I wouldn't mind it then because it would give their relationship some depth instead of "omg he's so pretty" "omg she's so pretty." *kiss*

But no. Instead they kissed right next to a group of people (including Suki's mother which just makes is so much more weird) after Suki said sth about Sokka showing her a bit of the world.

And I hate it so much.

It takes away the part where Suki teaches Sokka something very important, something that changes his personality, helps with his arc to Sokka "showing her a bit of the world". How?? With what?? It's not like he took her away from the Island itself or introduced her to his culture. No. He just... showed up and kissed her.

Great writing.

And don't get me starter on the "I'm not just a warrior. I'm a Kyoshi Warrior" line. It's a good line. It really is. But it would be better if the producers actually focused on Suki being a Kyoshi Warrior and not just a girl that has a crush on Sokka.

And while it's compared to "I'm a warrior. But I'm a girl too"... gods I... ughhhhhhh

So yeah. I hated it. I hated the show. All I have to say is:

They ruined my favourite couple. They ruined many great characters. They completely missed the point of the original story.

[themorriganwitch]

Top Gun: Maverick Kink Headcanons

Summary: Headcanons for 5 kinks 5 particular Daggers have

Words: 1k 

Characters: Bradley Bradshaw, Natasha Trace, Jake Seresin, Bob Floyd, Pete Mitchell, also includes some IceMav

A/N: Includes NSFW Content, 18+ only MDNI!!, English is not my first language, so there will be mistakes. 

Masterlist 

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Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw 

-   Choke kink – on the few occasions where he let you take the lead and let you bounce on top of him, he wants nothing more than your tiny fingers wrapped around his throat. And when you squeeze him just right – he could come in that exact moment.

-       Daddy Kink – I don’t know why, maybe it’s just the vibe he gives or maybe it’s me wanting to call him Daddy, he definitely has one. Amen.

-       Overstimulation – God, how he loves seeing you completely messed up, tears straining your cheeks after he gave it to you so good again and again and again.

-       Impact Play – How he loves watching your ass jiggle, your flesh red and hot from where he put his hands.

-       Breeding Kink – Nothing he would ever think about during his frat boy years but after finding his soulmate he cannot imagine something sweeter that seeing you pregnant with his child.

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Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin

-  Breeding kink – that man wants to see your belly round and your tits swollen. Could be the southern boy from a huge family in him or just him in general. No matter what – that man wants to see you pregnant with his child.

-       Cockwarming – Jake being the touchiest human on planet earth loves nothing more than feeling your walls hugging him perfectly close, especially after coming right back from a long deployment.

-       Edging – He’s a teasing piece of shit. Nothing gets him more going than hearing you beg for his cock.

-       Exhibitionism – slipping his hand between your thighs while sitting at dinner with Rooster and his girlfriend knowing only, he can feel the wet patch on your panties even though you are in a room full of people, that’s probably the best dinner he ever had.

-       Brat Taming – Mouth ‘Make me’ at him, after he admonished you several times for you teasing him on a navy ball and will fully loose his shit as soon as you come home.

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Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell  (Most of these involve IceMav)

- Rank Kink – oh how Mav adores when you call him Captain. But he adores it way much more calling Ice by his rank when the admiral rewards him for not annoying the shit out of Cyclone.

-       Spit Kink- That man likes to get messy in the sheets, add some dominance vibes to it and he is a happy man.

-       Threesomes – Not with everyone of course but he would lie if says that he never thought about you, Ice and him getting messy in the sheets.

-       Switch: With everyone but Ice, Mav is probably the dominant part. But as soon as him and Ice are alone, he fully submits to his Admiral, knowing he would never regret it.

-   Brat Taming: Ice taming Mav after he spend another day driving Cyclone and the whole Navy insane – it’s not a headcanon but universal.

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Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd 

- Dom / Sub dynamic – being always underestimated by his co-workers and superiors Bob loves nothing more to come home after a rough day and reward someone for doing exactly what he tells them to do. And he will always take such good care of you.

-       Bondage: he might look innocent with his birth control glasses and everything, but he goes absolutely feral seeing you tied up and helpless (fully consensual of course) in front of him

-       Voyeurism – you, laying spread wide open on your shared king size bed while he sits on a chair across the room, watching you touch yourself and moaning his name – that’s how images heaven

-       Brat Taming – Polite and kind bobby loves nothing more than showing his brat of a girlfriend how to behave correctly when escorting him to a navy ball.

-       Aftercare – it’s not really a kink but since our beloved backseater is someone (honestly unsurprising) who likes it wild in the sheets, he knows how important it is to take good care of you after you’re done. He always has some water and snacks stock in his drawer next to the bed and he always cleans you up softly before he cuddles you until you fall asleep in his arms.  

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Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace

-  Choke Kink – the thought of you pressed under her, her hands lightly squeezing your throat while she rides you with her favorite strap on – that’s what helps her to keep going through a tough workday.

- Rank Kink – kinda similar to Bobs Dom/Sub thing – being one of the few female aviators who graduated top gun Nat had always to keep up with her co-workers not taking her serious and making fun of her (*Cough*Hangman) she absolutely goes feral if you call her “Lieutenant”, while she serves you.

-   Edging – She’s incredibly similar to Jake when it comes to this (not that this is something she would like to hear)

-       Sensory Deprivation – After a long day of flying and always being ultra-focused on watching the environment up in the air, Nat highly appreciates to be blindfolded and just let her other senses work while you make her feel good.

-       Switch: Phoenix is a classic Switch – on somedays when she had to boss new Top Gun students around, she needs to submit to you and fully let go of all the responsibility. While on other days after being screamed at by her superiors she needs to feel a sense of control.

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Additional Headcanon for Phoenix and Hangman: Both probably would never really consider having a threesome unless it is with each other and a third person. And the whole thing would evolve from the competition who can make the third person come the most.

(Probably going to work on this for an upcoming One-shot now)

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Hope you enjoyed this, comments and prompt ideas are always highly appreciated 

[wordsbymae]

Mae's Horny Thought of The Week

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Your boyfriend has been nagging you for weeks to show you off to his followers, you thought it would just be a quick hello, but he had other ideas.

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Pairing: streamer boyfriend x gn!reader

tw: gn!reader, pushy and toxic boyfriend, implied smut, filming, exhibition, vulgar talk, blow job mention

notes: very short but anywho, a quick gift before I disappear for two weeks. reblogs, comments and likes are very much appreciated! I don't know how streaming or twitch or whatever works soooo, also for this whole plot his followers are all 18+ , might actually make a full fic cause i love this idea.

Anyway, enjoy!

Lots of love mae xx

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While I may go on about big, beefy, strong outdoorsmen, that doesn't mean I don't have a bit of a thing for nerdy/geeky guys as well. So let's talk about it.

You've been dating your boyfriend for a while now, only just moving in together recently. You've been with your boyfriend long enough to watch his streaming followers go from double digits into the millions. He has a bit of a cult following and his followers adore him, and by extension they adore you. While you've never shown your face, you join in on his streams every now and then. You were a bit shy with his followers and are hesitant to speak during the games. But your boyfriend, ever the supportive boyfriend, would encourage you to join in more and to speak more. For a while, his followers were content with just your voice, but recently they've been a bit demanding. asking for a face reveal.

you told your boyfriend that you were uncomfortable with that, and at first, he understood. Until his followers got a bit too demanding. while not all his followers were being rude, a loud minority were threatening to unfollow him. Usually, your boyfriend wouldn't care, but when these same followers began to taunt him and questioned whether you were even his girlfriend, it caused your boyfriend to "snap" in a way.

You told him no, but he just kept asking. You didn't want your face to be shown, but he was constant in his nagging. he wasn't unkind about it, just a little bit pushy. weeks of asking and finally you accepted but only if it would be for a minute, a quick minute and then you would leave. he was a little disappointed but was happy you said yes.

the day came and you were so fucking nervous. you knew the internet could be cruel and you wanted to keep yourself far far away from that. it comforted you that his followers already had a liking for you, but what if it backfired? you were so worried about the negative, you didn't know what to do when it was overwhelmingly positive, a bit too positive

ghostfinder69: so fucking hot

fireit_up11: can't believe you kept them from us

turnipslayer02: can you blame him? wouldn't want some incel to add them to their spank bank

catterkat33: wanna fuck them so bad

ghostfinder69: make them cum on your cock or i unfollow

You tried to hide your concern and discomfort by laughing it off, hoping your boyfriend would shut it all down and tell those followers off. but they weren't the only ones, it seemed every single comment that came through was dirty and vulgar, many urging you to act like their personal cam girl/boy/person. one follower even tipped your boyfriend $50 bucks so that he would take your shirt off. you got up to leave only for your boyfriend to push you back down.

"wouldn't want to disappoint them now, would we?"

catterkat33: fuck them raw

slappteraaa: i wanna see you cum in their ass

turnipslayer02: get them to gag on your dick

1fckurm0m: look at them acting all shy, i bet they're a fucking slut

it was only meant to be a quick camo. so why were you sucking your boyfriend off in front of millions?

[swallow17]

Today is one of those days.

I'm having a hard time just standing myself; I'm annoying myself out of my mind. I'm tired, but I don't really want to sleep. I want to play Zelda, but I'm too impatient to go after the fairies. I want to read, but my mind keeps drifting. I've been hungry all freakind day, but I don't fancy anything specific. I've tried to eat this morning, and I tried to have lunch; I simply can't. I'm not nauseous, or dizzy. My stomach doesn't hurt. I just don't feel like eating.

But I'm so hungry.

I don't have much food at home, anyway. I've been trying to lose some weight; it's not like going back to talk to Ana, as I did when I was a teenager. I just want my summer clothes to fit. I just want to recognize myself in pictures, in the mirror. I'm not going back to Ana. Or that's what I want to think.

So, I'm Mediterranean after all. Far away from the sea, more linked to the Atlantic, but Mediterranean nonetheless. That means that I belong to a culture of poor people who're great at inventing things to eat, so roasted onions it is. I have two onions left from yesterday's party. It will take about two hours to roast them properly. I guess that'll do for a very early dinner.

Yeah, maybe that's why I'm so down right now. Work has been a shitshow lately. My friends are adults (just like me, I may add), so we never find the time to meet anymore. One of them moved to another country and we talk weekly as if a bussiness meeting, another is kidnaped by a jelaous girlfriend. My fiancé lives in a different city during the week. I've been holding to yesterday's party to keep my sanity, I've prepared everything so it'd be perfect.

Don't get me wrong, it was perfect. Almost all of us were there, together, laughing, enjoying the food I so carefully curated, singing and looking our best with the most perfect smiles. I enjoyed it as if it was my last night on this Earth.

But it lasted four hours. Four freaking hours, and it was... gone. The morning came with a disastrous kitchen, a friend who slept at my place having a nervous breakdown and my fiance so tired that I didn't have the heart to wake him up. I cleaned the whole freaking house while my friend cried and told me about her mess. I mean; I make bad choices, I have to admit it. But at least I can be proud of not making all of them at the same time. She's working her ass for a job who doesn't pay back; studying for an exam she'll never pass, 'cause she has the wrong degree for that test. She's dating a guy who she doesn't even like, but he's a "nice guy". I couldn't avoid the grimace when she said that. I've had my fair share of "nice guys".

But that'd make for another entire post. So, back to this one.

While I was cleaning the aftermarth of the party and listening to her I felt so... trapped. I felt as one of those donkeys they used in the village, with the carrot just out of reach, so close I can dream of catching it.

"Work a little harder, girl, and you might make it. Make it until that shinny day that'll be too short anyway. Get back to work. Chase the next shinny day. Do it until you're too tired to imagine new shinny days. And then enjoy the nervous breakdown on your kitchen's floor."

Yeah. Maybe it's just the lack of sleep. Maybe it's just that I'm all alone again, alone with the perspective of another Monday on a job that's draining me.

Maybe it's just today.

It must be just that. It's just one of those days.

I guess the onions could be ready by now.

[shes-a-badkid]

Thoughts while reading The Trials of Apollo - “The Dark Prophecy” with my nephew-

1. I still cannot get over the name Lester for Apollo

2. Even after being humbled a bit, he is still the cockiest bastardized out there

3. I love the idea of Leo just having a good time with his girlfriend and his dragon and helping a God out and then there is Calypso and Apollo just snarking at each other the whole time

4. I love Calypso so much- just straight punches someone, breaks her hand, and almost immediately says fuck it and kicks someone and breaks her foot. I just really identify with this

5. Poor Leo- had to leave Festus again. WHEN WILL MY SON GET A BREAK, RICK?!

6. Oh poor Emmie and Josephine! If this book doesn’t end with them getting their daughter back I will be seeking financial compensation

7. I’m obsessed with Emmie and Josephine, every new thing I learn about them just adds to my love

8. Apollo and Calypso on a quest with no Leo to buffer… I’m so here for this- the sass with be *chefs kiss* impeccable

9. I really like that Apollo’s memory is iffy right now because I truly don’t know who most of these people are and him remembering doesn’t feel like a generic info dump

10. Hell yeah, Meg!!! Run away from those assholes! (But please don’t make me sad again)

11. Apollo- how are you so thirsty? Like we haven’t focused on the gods in as much detail as you, but you seem like a thirty bitch. Now I know you can’t possibly be as thirsty as Zeus, but you might come close

12. So far on this quest we have Calypso doing like 85% of the work- picking locks, grifting the two searching for them into believing she was cursing them- what a queen. And you know, Apollo is also there, like good job with that train buddy, you helped!

13. Hell yeah, Meg! Take his ass out! (I think ‘hell yeah, Meg’ might become my catchphrase thought this series)

14. Okay Apollo- nice work letting all the animals loose, that was clutch

15. Sure, Apollo, you totally didn’t cry when Meg hugged you. We all totally believe you 😑

16. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million more time- I am obsessed with Josephine

17. “I was, after all, selfless, caring, and all around nice guy.” And just when I was feeling a bad for you my dude

18. Oh poor, Georgina, your mind is just mashed bananas right now

19. Look at you Apollo being all smart and melting that door- I would say I’m proud but the ego doesn’t need the compliment

20. PEACHES!!! NOOOOO! My sweet, little maniac

21. Festus! My favorite boy 🐉

22. Thalia about to kick some ass like the boss bitch she is

23. I love that Lityerses immediately went from down to kill for Commodus to I’m gonna kill Commodus for thinking of killing me and joining the side of good

24. Apollo may have fully won me over for staying back just to save Livia the elephant- also what a sight to see Thalia being a badass while escaping on a elephant

25. Leo and Calypso staying at the waystation makes so much sense and I’ll miss them so much, but also I would totally ready a book about Leo and Calypso at the waystation with Josephine and Emmie

26. Apollo hating his arrow is the best. I love a god having beef with an inanimate object

27. Oh Meg, my dear, I just want to hug you!

28. Apollo may be a self centered douche like 90% of the time but my man has a lot of feelings. Like- he cares for Meg so much, he just wanted to save Livia the elephant, he is passionate in his hatred of slavery, and he is so worried for his friends at the waystation

29. What is this red lightning, Jamie?!? I am intrigued

30. Sssssarah is delightful and I would love for her to just randomly pop up

31. Can we leave Festus alone, please

32. RICK! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU ARE GONNA KILL OFF A LOVELY GRIFFIN WHO JUST GAVE BIRTH (laid an egg… whatever) AND EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY?!? RIP Heloise

33. The delight I feel at just the mention of Coach Hedge is entirely normal! Stop judging me!

34. GROVER! MY SWEET SATYR!

[spicy-cannoli]

These are the things I could do without - Post S3 Steve&Robin Snipet

Summary: Robin liked to think she was above it all, but she wasn’t a stranger to high school gossip. They’d been some rumours after the two had broken up, and now that she was somehow friends with one of the two she might as well ask, right?

.

Or, Robin asks Steve what the deal with Nancy is at a sleepover. AO3 ver: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44188381

“So… what’s the deal with Wheeler?” 

The question had plagued Robin’s mind since their talk in the bathroom cubicles back at Starcourt. Hell, she’d been wondering about it vaguely in the back of her mind when they broke up in the first place. 

Robin liked to think she was above it all, but she wasn’t a stranger to high school gossip. They’d been some rumours after the two had broken up, and now that she was somehow friends with one of the two she might as well ask, right?  

“What deal?” Steve asked as he stared at the freshly painted nails in his right hand. 

God, she wasn’t over the fact Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington was just letting her paint his nails as they laid in bed at a sleepover. If the Robin of five months ago knew she was having a sleepover with a jock, she’d think she went insane. 

“You know- the whole being in love, breaking up, deal. What happened?” 

She was glad she could use the fact that she was painting his nails as an excuse to look down. Robin was sure if she was facing him, he’d be able to tell she was more interested in his answer than she was letting on.

“There’s no deal,” he huffed, and was it just her or was his tone a little annoyed? “We dated. We broke up. That’s it.” Yup, he was definitely annoyed. 

“Come on, there’s gotta be more to that!” she pushed, before taking note of his clenched jaw and backtracking. “But you don’t have to tell me, you know? I just- I wanted some payback, to make fun of your crush like you did mine, but if it’s too soon that's fine too, you know?” She couldn’t help but add a little guilt-tripping. Look, it’s not that she was a manipulator or whatever, she just thought they were close enough for some friendly teasing! 

She still wasn’t looking at him when he broke, but she didn’t have to. He was polite enough to let her know with a drawn-out groan and a “Fineeeeeeee” before he started his retelling.

She was expecting relationship drama, a meet-cute maybe, but after a fairly normal beginning, things started getting weird. She should’ve known with Steve nothing was simple, what happened at Starcourt- it might be her first time with evil Russians and interdimensional monsters and government conspiracies, but she’d known it wasn’t Steve’s. 

He seemed way braver than she’d expected before the whole Russians deal. She hadn’t really known Steve back in her freshman year, so she had no recollections of how he was back then, but still. Imagining a younger Steve going back after being freaked out to save his girlfriend he’d thought cheated on him and the guy he thought she cheated on him with? It was hard to imagine… she couldn’t help but respect him a bit more after she heard that.

That, however, wasn’t going to stop her from teasing him. Hey! It was how she expressed fondness! And annoyance… and anger… Robin just teased a lot.

“So you can beat an interdimensional monster that’s killed multiple adults, but Byers beat your ass?”

Steve gave her an annoyed look, but she could read the amusement in his eyes. And wasn’t that a trip? Being able to read Steve as well as she could? Her?

“Shut up. The Demogorgon was scarier, but it was also like- an animal. It lets its instincts lead him instead of fighting finesse!” 

Steve was quiet for a while.

“I think it helps, that it doesn’t have a face. Fear and adrenaline definitively had a hand on me winning fights against those little shits, but… I think the fact it wasn’t some guy I know, helped. Like, I didn’t have to feel so guilty about hitting it, you know?” 

And that- that made sense. Especially now that she’d seen just how much Steve cared. Still… they hadn’t gotten to the breakup yet! 

“Come on Steve! You guys were still together after this! What happens next?” 

He gave her an annoyed look before sighing once more -he seemed to do that a lot- and continuing with his story. 

Somehow, the story of how they handled the aftermath was worse. Sure the whole interdimensional monster thing sounded like it sucked, hell she knew personally that it sucked, but knowing the nightmares and insomnia and uncomfortable feelings that followed was awful. 

Partly because it kept breaking the preconceived notions she had of Steve. Steve who got tortured by Russians and had to be drugged up before breaking, Steve who put the kids’ lives before his own, Steve who offered the sleepover in the first place because he assumed correctly she’d be uncomfortable alone… If he was getting nightmares, what did that mean for her? 

The first night after those horrible days was spent at the hospital, and the second she was too tired to be scared, but what would happen after this sleepover was, well, over? She had flinched when the dad hugged her after she came home from the hospital -the official story was a mall fire of all things- would things just get worse? Was she not going to be able to be near middle age European-looking men anymore? Would ice cream or -who knows- fireworks freak her out? Would she be unable to predict what was going to scare her? If it was anything like Steve was saying -and oh, she had no doubt he was omitting things- she wasn’t going to have a good time. 

She could feel her breathing get faster, but before she could continue panicking, a snap on the front of her face with newly manicured nails brought her back.

“Hey, hey, Robin” 

She looked to the side, embarrassed. God, that was like- not to sound like Steve but- so uncool. 

“It’s fine, you’re going to be fine! Sure it’s going to suck at first, but you have me, you won’t have to make the same mistakes I made!” Even though his words were slightly rushed, his tone was calm and comforting and- Jesus, she should stop underestimating him. Turns out, Steve was kinda good at comforting people. 

“I figured out talking about shit is actually helpful, and unlike me, you’ll have someone who’s not a kid, your ex, or the guy she ran off with to talk to, ok?” 

That just made her snort. Taking that as a good sign, Steve continued talking in that calm tone of his that Robin used to think was arrogant. 

“Like, nothing against Henderson or Sinclair or the rest of the rugrats, but I think I’d rather fight that monster again than talk about my feelings with them. Dustin tried to get me to open up once, can you believe that?” he continued, “To be honest… I don’t think they realise how much I sucked at dealing with this stuff, and I’d rather it stays that way. It’s super weird, but they actually trust me to handle shit. I don’t want them to realise that just because I’m technically an adult, it doesn’t mean I know what the fuck is going on.” 

Robin thought about making a joke, something along the lines of oh, don’t worry, everyone knows you have no idea what’s going on, but she could tell it wasn’t the time. Besides, she had a much more important question to ask. 

“So what makes you trust me?” Steve looked at her lazily from his half-sitting position in bed. Even though his nails were surely dry by now, he kept them wide apart, probably not used to the cold feeling. Robin pressed on. “You just told me a bunch of deep shit, so, why me? Why not your ex or anyone else? I don’t just mean now,” she clarified, remembering how he just told her of Wheeler pushing him for a conversation and he avoiding it, “why not before?” 

“Well, I guess I’m trying to lead by example. You already shared your deepest secret with me,” she knew she was referring to that conversation. She still couldn’t believe she told him… and that he didn’t care! “and I need someone to talk to, too, or I’ll go insane. Before, I wanted to forget it all happened, but trust me, that just makes things worse.” 

He looked down at his hands for a few seconds, before closing his right hand on a fist and raising it towards her. “Plus, you and me, Buckley. We decoded the secret Russian message, we went through the elevator from hell, the truth serum and the- the saw, the weird creepy torture devices- we went through those-those morons together! I’m afraid to say we’re bonded for life.” 

She gave a small huff of a laugh at that and raised her fist to bump his, but she couldn't stop the tears from gathering in the corners of her eyes. It felt like such a stupid thing to get emotional about after the week she’d had, but here she was. It shouldn’t be that comforting, those stupid words of his, but she had never felt as close as she had to a person she barely knew. 

She felt like she should thank him, but she couldn’t get the words out. She looked up at him. He looked slightly worried, but he had a comforting smile on his face and- she leaned in and hugged him. She laid her head on his shoulder and- perhaps this was a horrible thing to do. Two days ago, he’d told her he had a crush on her, after all. She should stop. 

His hand automatically went to her shoulder and pulled her closer. She closed her eyes and decided she was going to be a little selfish tonight. 

“So,” she said, desperate to get out of this vulnerable and emotional mood they’d gotten stuck in, “what happened next?” 

Steve took a while to figure out what she was talking about. Or perhaps he was trying to remember where he left off. Whatever it was, it only took a few seconds before he was back to his story. 

Robin found out how Steve first met Hargrove -and boy was that depressing to talk about, they had to pause for a while at that point and stop cuddling to take in the fact that he was dead. He was an asshole but- but he’d sacrificed himself for his sister- or was it the other girl, the one with the powers? Whatever it was, he was just a kid her age, and he didn’t deserve to die like that. 

Back to the story, she found out how he met Hargrove and then- then how Nancy Wheeler broke his heart. Oh, he didn’t say it like that, but she wasn’t stupid. She could read under the lines. He recited what Wheeler said verbatim -or so it seemed to her, how many times had he recalled her words, to be able to say them so flawlessly- with what she thinks is meant to be a nonchalant expression but just made him look like a kicked puppy. 

He continued, and he spared no details. He was wording things as nicely as he could, but she could tell that the rumours about her and Byers running off together behind Steve’s back, while not without purpose, were most likely true. 

Soon it turned dark again, although she was glad to finally get the origin story of how Steve Harrington became a mother of six… though it seems like it started with three at the time, no wonder he was softer with those three, they went through some shit together.  

After a while, Steve was done. He’d glazed over the events at the Byers’ house, probably because it wasn’t relevant to the question Robin asked, but the relationship bits were clear. 

“So she just- she just fucked off with Byers without breaking up with you?” 

Steve pulled a face.

“I- we had a fight before, you heard me… maybe she thought we’d broken up, it was pretty bad”

“Well, yeah… but you didn’t” 

“Well- but maybe she did-” 

“But she didn’t ask! Stop defending her, Steve!”

“Well, I just think- ok yeah, so it wasn’t right. I know that. She was awful to me in those weeks. But- it was a year ago! People make mistakes,”

“Well, sure,” she said slowly, “but do you want to be friends with her?” 

Steve gave her a confused look. 

“No? I mean- I loved her but… I don’t really love her still. And we have too much history to be friends again.” 

Robin grinned at that. Bingo.

“Sooo, you don’t have to keep defending her. You know what she did sucked. You’re allowed to complain about it!” 

“What?” 

“Come on, do guys not bitch about their exes with their friends? We’re bonded for life, right?” 

Steve looked at her with searching eyes before giving her a grin. 

“Yeah, bonded for life,”

Ok! That’s it! Here’s the AN from AO3: 

And then they bitched about Nancy until 4am and then regretted it in the morning.

Yall I was so mad when Robin tried to get stancy back together, what kind of bestie does that?? So here's the start of a fix it.

[shinystars-stuff]

Hello everyone. It has been 9 months.

I apologize for no longer posting but my mood for Tumblr came to a downhill and so I just stopped posting. I moved on to Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, Pinterest, and Discord.

Well… let’s just say… I’m doing a shit ton better on those platforms.

I came back today and only today to update you guys on how much my life has changed.

So nine months ago… that was before I graduated, which would mean that would be February. Jesus, this is about to be long.

So February 28th of this year, I ended a one-year relationship with a boy only to get with someone else. Now, keep in mind that both of these relationships were online. When I got with the new boy, my behavior and actions started to change. We tended to fight a lot and I made him upset quite a lot just as he made me upset. Well, July 18th, he had enough of my lying and my behavior that he broke up with me. Oh yeah, I skipped something important. I graduated on May 28th! 👩‍🎓👩‍🎓

I was pretty upset over the breakup and I stayed single for a while until drama happened and I got with somebody else. I realized how stupid I was and I called off the relationship. My family situation has worsened. A few months ago, my brother officially came back to live with us after his girlfriend cheated on him. He’s been a total pain in the ass, btw.

Me and my brother hardly get along, but the good news is that we are semi-bonding now these days. My mom’s leg situation has worsened for she can hardly stand up now these days. My uncle… he got a rare disease and might not be making it for much longer, plus I’ve lost a lot of family members as of late. I luckily have my Switch to keep me distracted and well organized.

Well- after I graduated high school, I found out that I have social anxiety. I was placed on an anti-depressant pill and bumped up more on my ADHD medication. My parents have been nagging at me to get a job, but with the shit I see happening in life today, plus the things I hear from my family, why would I even want to work in a society like this?! Also, my whole family thinks they have the right to say that I should get a job when I take the fucking trash out, I get shit like drinks and stuff for them, I bring in all the god damn groceries, I check on them everyday. I do the shit willingly and never get asked to be fucking paid!

Let’s uh- change the topic for now. So- well- I’m still making videos and stuff. However, my original TikTok got banned over a dispute with a best friend and uh- I lost three friends by them ghosting me. My videos have actually really improved. In fact, I have them right here.

Well, I only have this one, but this is my biggest and longest working one. This one took me three hours. I mostly make edits on TikTok but on Discord, I have a little roleplay server :3

My Twitter and YouTube, plus Twitter stays quiet most of the time because usually I’ll just scroll and save videos and stuff on the platforms.

My proudest moment and my best moment of this year is this photo right above this. If you don’t know who that is, that is me and a VO actor known as Bob Carter. Bob Carter is in many animes, but when I looked at the top of his poster, my world changed. As you know, I am a huge Fullmetal Alchemist fan and the character he played was Izumi’s husband, Sig Curtis.

I was legit amazed and he was absolutely friendly. I asked him for a hug and he gladly accepted it because I told him I had watched the anime a million times. I really wanted to show him an FMA edit I made, but I was too excited to show him. I even got to meet the singer for Sailor Moon, only to look later and find out that Bob photobombed it XD

So yeah, even though I’ve gone through a lot of shit this year, I’ve had a pretty good year. Anyways, I think I’m going to go ahead and finish off the post here.

Thank you guys for supporting me on Tumblr. If you wish to add me on Discord or anything, my Tumblr ask-box and messages are still open, so feel free to. I love you guys. Thank you for giving me a home.