#WHY cant i just be normal lmfao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thanonymousotp · 1 year

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you ever hate being neurodivergent so much u wish ur hyperfixation never existed because HOO boy dandy yeehaw yippee lamao

#thanon.txt #i want this twink OBLITERATED from existence i want him to have never existed so that i never was abnormal #id rather have an empty pocket of my identity than deal with wjatever the fuck physical agony i am going thru right now #WHY cant i just be normal lmfao #why do i have to be this bitch and fixate on this bitch and have this bitch influence everything i do ever #i want him GONE. GOOD BYE #not me venting in the tags because i cant shut the fuck up ever AGH #reminder to make sure i take mt meds when i get home #forgot to yesterday and it feels like my already pretty bad rsd always gets #729273827374837x worse when i forget them #DO I EVEN HAVE RSD OR AM I JUST FUCKING STUPID #adhd moment !#explodes into a trillion pieces and smites myself out of existence #genuinely genuinely wish that sometimes drgl didnt even have thaniel in it. i want him gone #(not serious but also very serious connotation)#god i need therapy

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starboymp3 · 2 months

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my mental state or whatever is so bad these days i genuinely started thinking that my purpose in life is literally just to kill myself lmfaoo 😭

#like what kind of a 'purpose' is that bro 😭 thats not a purpose. thats not the point of a life lmaooo #but like genuinely the only thing i think abt nowadays is when i should kms. im like wondering which day would be the best and most #convenient for everyone skjfgsjkf like. thats not normal #and see my thing is (i am ranting now teehee) so my thing is. i dont understand why i cant just talk abt this to my family or anyone #like i DONT want to talk about it i would chew my arm off first rather than talk about it. but. like i should lmfao.#like if i told them hey yall i dont want to live and i dont really want to die either but i feel like thats my only option etc they would #want to help me. if i told them hey can yall just sit down with me and help me figure this out they would!!!#but the thing is i dont want to lol. i dont want to. and i dont know why that is #dear diary ass post. okay thats all <3 just thinking out loud and everything <3 #zsófi rambles

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grimmjowjaegerjaquez · 1 year

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i cannot get this comparison out of my damn head so a redraw of these panels from paranatural:

#bleachposting #my art #ive been hemming and hawing over if i should post this at all and i cant really tell you why #i think im just having a weird anxiety moment where every little thing i do is bad potentially #even though its like. benign and normal. idk #this post has a target audience of one: me lmfao

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aroacettorney · 8 months

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dont mind me. im simply just putting together a ludgercasey angst collection.

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#''why cant u be normal abt them'' how can i be normal abt them when solid 80% of their interactions is either angst or stemmed from angst.#even their ''fluff'' moments were also angst.#literally no one does angst like they do.#ludger prefers to keep most of his connections extremely impersonal/professional.#but whether or not he wants to admit it theirs on the other hand simply does not... fit in that category.#he'd even tried to convert it that way but it just didnt stick bc neither of them could help but be themselves around each other lmfao.#ludger is seemly still oblivious to caseys attempt to mend their personal relationship.#which is not too surprising considering he was also oblivious to the existence of their past relationship.#after all there was no reason for him to believe that casey would want to have anything to do with him. except maybe putting him in jail.#so pushing her away seems to be the most logical decision right? personal relationship is a luxury to him anyway.#alas casey who wanted to believe in their past friendship takes it as a sign that ludger has no interest in maintaining it.#she now has to take a step back because ''if you force a relationship it may become more estranged.''#so unless he takes the initiative they are likely stuck in this limbo.#(casey might use impersonal excuses to stay around but rn its all up to ludger to change the nature of their relationship)#casey girlie forget him i would have treated you so much better... is what i would have loved to say.#i wouldnt be suffering this much if ludger wasnt clearly holding himself back most of the time / if it was completely one-sided from casey.#i dont know if this is a slow burn or hurt no comfort but if casey gets no closure im gonna commit arson 😔#aro ludgercasey propaganda #selmore's undercover husband

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bearbonespdf · 7 months

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so i have this, ig now ex, friend who is also my ex boyfriend. right now im kinda coming to terms with the fact that he was? is? abusive. we've known each other for about 4 years now, dated for 2 of those, and broke up about 9 months ago. we've gone through a lot together, including a major traumatic event that involved him being called an abusive boyfriend. this has added to my... hesitance to call him an abuser.

he has hit me a couple times, which we talked through and he didnt do again. however he would bite me pretty often and pretty hard, and wouldnt let go when i asked him too. i used to beg him to stop but he'd (paraphrased) call me dramatic and to get over it. he'd also insult my appearance, personality, and intelligence pretty often. he would yell at me for things i couldnt change (ex: forgetfulness from adhd) and when i tried to explain that he'd tell me i was just making excuses. he would also compare me to our shitty ex friends whenever i did or said smth he didnt like. i had to change the way i spelled the word "ok" (i used to spell it "okay") because he would get mad at me for not being considerate of how he thought "okay" was disingenuous.

but despite all of that, he wasn't horrible to me all the time. we were best friends for a long time. i also contributed to our arguments, and he's said that i traumatized him too. i have friends who tell me that he's definitely abusive and that none if its my fault. i want to believe them but it just kinda feels like wishful thinking? he always told me that i have a tendency to avoid responsibility for my actions, and idk if thats what im doing? i have some other friends who are still cool with him despite knowing all of what i detailed above (and some more lol) and say that they understand why he's upset and why he did what he did. i think the friends who are on his side (which i hate saying, i dont really think its a "sides" situation?) are trying to explain his side of the story and feelings in the matter to the people on my "side".

anyways, this whole post is sparked by the fact that i just found out he blocked me. idk for how long, but i blocked him back. im scared, im stressed, i feel guilty but also kinda glad? i was planning out how to break off our friendship already, but i wanted to end it more amicably. i didnt want to block eachother, i was hoping to stay acquainted at best and maybe leave room for friendship again further down the line. when we both were changed and healed. im writing all this down to avoid a panic attack, but id also appreciate any thoughts and/or opinions anyone has on the matter?

#it took me 30 minutes to write this post and i felt nauseous the entire time lmfao #bear growls #irl shit #tw abuse #vent post #friendship advice #mental health #romantic advice #i guess?#lmao why cant shit just be normal and uncomplicated #im too funny and hot for this #help please #long post

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f1owermoon · 2 days

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sorry i just. need to rant for a second

#cause dude the whole joost situation is SO fucking upsetting #he's mentioned over and over again how overwhelming this whole overnight success thing has been for him and to respect his boundaries #and instead of yk respecting his wishes “fans” go and make things worse by constantly overstepping and being creepy and weird like hello???#like why can't we all just be normal and take a step back and enjoy things #these people are gonna end up driving him off the internet and i wouldn't blame him one bit #and the worst part is the people who should get the memo obviously don't (or refuse to) bc this isn't an isolated instance #like its been going on for a while now #idk man i just think about how hard it must be for him rn #one of the things that turned me into a joost fan (besides his music) was his personality #like i obviously dont know him on a personal basis #but from the little bits ive seen he comes across as a really genuine and sweet and kind dude #super thoughtful as well. like i just love the way he thinks and his take on things #like i remember watching his eurovision interviews and just thinking oh man this dude's a ray of sunshine LMFAO #also the literal definition of resilience like dude's been through so much stuff and hes always managed to come out on top despite of it #and thats something i really admire about him too. like the way he put it as not letting your traumas be just that #but also something that can drive you forward #but yeah dude's had more than enough like he deserves to be happy and have some peace and ppl keep ruining it for him and it makes me upset #like i actually slept like shit last night and woke up feeling terrible and i wonder if what went down yesterday w the whole live thing #has anything to do with it lmfao #and you may be like ok well youre taking it too personally and letting it affect you #and yeah maybe youre right LOL but i cant help it i care about the guy and i want him to be okay #he seems to have a really good support system though so i hope things blow over soon and he can finally have some peace #anyway. rant over! 💋#raquel speaks

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girlbob-boypants · 2 months

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X reader fits are truly the $1 dumpster bin of fics

#girlbob.txt #i dont mean that in a 'ew cringe' way #i mean it in a like. theyre almost always poorly written in such specific ways that are gross #one time i was checking a tag and read about him 'sliding into your wet cunt' and i was just like cool lets not do that.#and thats like. a better way it could've been worded if you MUST be that graphic but also why.#not in MY pussy are we describing that smh #and then theres like. how bad the characterization is and also the subset of x reader that is just #built on blatant disrespect of real people cause yall cant crank it like a normal person for some reason.#and those really give away the actual point of why the genre exists. which is to disregard literally everything in favor of bad smut #and you can live your life that way but it doesnt make it any less of a bargain bin ive never once wanted to see the main tag #blacklisting it is a bitch cause its 700 tags and not a single one is a catchall i swear #i dont want to have to blacklist EVERY single character in a fandom lmfao #not sfw

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fecto-forgo · 2 months

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mama by mcr fucking hellllll

#WHY IS THE CHORUS SO GOOD #analiceoriginal.txt #also ofc the themes of parental disappointment lmfao #SHE SAID YOU AINT NO SON OF MINEEE #FOR WHAT YOUVE DONE THERE THEYRE GONNA FI-I-IND! A PLACE FOR YOU AND JUST MIND YOUR MANNERS WHEN YOU GOOO...#AND WHEN YOU GO DONT RETURN TO ME MY LOVE!#im not a son n even i felt that.jesus.#i listen to this nightcore sm i cant remember what the normal version sounds like LMFAO #does it go as hard at normal speed hang on...

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luckycloverforducks · 4 months

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Npmd AU where Max lives, the main 4 play off the failed prank, befriend him and he gets. nicer or something. That's it

#they dangled character depth infront of my eyes and KILLED HIM how was I supposed to be normal about it #his whole attitude changed drastically #HE WAS SO HAPPY MAN #hes silly.... and possibly a nerd in disguise #why does he know theater terms #i know what you are #“he came back wrong... he came back a... a theater kid” -youtube comments somewhere #hes such an asshole and a horrible person but i feel like.... theres potential there.... he has character depth guys i swear #bro uses therapy talk #how many times was he sent to assemblys and therapists LMFAO #why do i like him #my fav character is Pete and Steph but hes like..... 2nd after them #hes just such a freak #also kinda scary... but i cant take him seriously for long 😭😭

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depresseddepot · 1 year

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not to be dramatic but nothing puts me in a worse mental state than trying to cuff my fucking jeans

#no i will not elaborate because i am too angry!!!!!!#HOWW do you do it. ive tried so many different cuff styles and they always just make my leg look like a sausage #i may be fat but it looks normal on fat models so why does it look so stupid on me!!!!!lmao!!!!!!!#i cant even buy cropped jeans or capris to make the hem naturally fall above my boots either because IM TOO FUCKING SHORT #HOW am i supposed to be butch in these conditions (/j)#i cant wear baggy things because i look sloppy. i cant roll things to fit me bc i look stupid.#things that are marketed for short people are STILL not short enough. what am i supposed to do!!!!haha!!!#i fucking hate summer #this is a shitpost but really. i dont need any help hating my body lmfao the LEAST my jeans could do is LOOK GOOD #i wish i was skinny for the clothes alone. yall under 150 have no fucking idea how good you have it #i want to be hit by a car #grinding my teeth and i taste jasmine on my tongue etc etc

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gommyworm · 2 years

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:^/

#i look so fucking hot today #and i have nobody to appreciate it #my best friend lives 8 hrs away and constantly leaves me on read #which i understand we both tend to drop off the face of the earth when we arent around each other #my only other friend is a guy like 3 yrs younger than me who i have more of a like ? casual friendship w where we like #complain about the government and check in on each other n stuf #and like hes a very good boy but i cant like Talk to him about my life or show him my very attractive fit bc thatd be weird asf #and the only other person i talk to is my ex lmfaooo and that has its whole set of issues #i really desperately need friends or like a bf or something like i cant sit with myself like this every day or im gonna kms #i should hit up my therapist lmaoo i ghosted her a while ago and gooooood would i love someone to talk to rn lmao #like someone who already knows backstory and like the shit involved in my stupid shitty life #man i made my makeup look so nice so i coukd stop crying all day and now i fucking ruined it lmfao #idk why im so stressed these days i just want to be dead #i genuinely think i need like professional help lol like this is way worse than normal #maybe seasonal depression on top of the regular shit ? idk whats even happening anymore #i think im gonna really try and read a book so today so i can not exist for a bit #man and i got all fancy n shit 😔😔😔😔 this sucks ass #maybe i should get some sort of diary app or soemthing so i dont have to do this on tumbkr lmfao #prpbably less embarassing that way #whatever not like ppl reading this really care plus its interesting to see ppls thots i think #i hope u enjoyed the show :^)#gommywords

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mental-skillness · 6 days

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#i genuinely feel sick lmao #like wtf am i supposed to do now #im living with my parents and ive been told TO MY FACE that im too much to handle #which is like yes ok obviously i already knew that #but there is a HUGE difference btwn knowing that and being told it #like god #i just wish that they had told me earlier that it was too much #instead of waiting until they decided i was in a crisis and needed immediate intervention #like why couldnt this wait until next week #why am i suddenly in immediate danger #i literally was doing fine #like not fine #but they could have just told me that they cant handle me and left #like they didnt have to do all that extra shit like ik im needy but u only have to tell me once if u dont want me to contact you #i feel fucking disgusting #cant even fucking live on my own lmfao #istg every time i make new friends i do it worse #why is it that nobody gives a shit until suddenly theyre terrified for me #why cant i just have someone care a normal amount about my wellbeing #why can you stage a whole fucking intervention but u cant just hang out for a little while sometimes #i should literally just stop trying atp like i just fuck everything up worse

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toastsnaffler · 4 months

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great and now she's STILL scheduling shit on thursdays. the one day of the week she knows I'm busy. she really doesn't fucking want me around huh guess I'll just go kms

#at this rate im never going to spend time with them again lmfao.#whatever theyre her friends so fair enough. ive never rly been a part of their group just on the outside 👍#and she doesnt let me forget it! thanks really appreciate it. I give up man I dont know what u want from me anymore #.vent #i just dont understand what did i do am i being punished for something please #i cant do this i feel so trapped its been so bad for weeks and everyone keeps pushing me smaller and smaller and it hurts so much #i need someone i can cry to or just talk to and im just being left behind over and over and its bringing up so many intrusive memories #and im tired of having bad dreams.every nigtj theres no escape from it snd feelinf trapped is a trigger for me it makes me want to harm #so im having to deal with reining in that urge while also not having any other way to direct how i feel.outwards i feel like.im imploding #if i think any more im going to start screaming or throw up. i hate being stuck.in this body with this stupid fucking mind #and no one gives a single fuck its just a 'mental health moment' so its cool i guess!!!!!! normal and fine things to experience!!!!!#i cant i cant i cant i feel like a fucking three year old.having a temper tantrum this is so stupid why am i so broken i cant do this

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skyjynxart · 5 months

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#hmmmm #vent cw #dont read this #no seriously i warned you im being a whiney piece of shit #I should probably be worried about the 3-day long panic attack ive had going on #the physical symptoms really are rhe works- the swimming vision the dizziness the tight chest feeling that is uniquely 'anxiety'#and then you add the inability to think for more than like 5 minutes about any given topic #the stress to the point of wanting to cry when things go slightly wrong #but ironically i cant seem to summon any actual anxiety about the anxiety #juat a blank numbness there #really do need it to stop tho as i think its destroying what little appeal as a human i had left at this point #and its seriously hampering my ability to get work done #which i absolutely need to be doing bc if i dont finish my work i cant take on more work #and if i dont take on more work i will officially no longer be paying my bills next month #'sky this seems like talk for a therapist not hidden tags on the tumblr dash' yeah I dont think sitting on this for a month will work #'talk to a friend about it then' hahaha no at least here anyone who reads this fuckin chose to #putting up with me normally is a big ask putting up with me when im needy & anxious & breaking down bc its Too Fucking Much?#lmfao hell no i like my friendship INTACT thanks #a bitch is not about to be a drain on emotional resources when said bitch cannot contribute fuckall of value thats how you make it all worse #and then a month later the therapist cancels so i just keep adding tags to this post bc no one will read them #but i feel like im “talking to someone”#the panic attacks stopped but i have no idea why #i mean im still feeling unusually heightened anxiety 24/7 but its not causing physical symptoms #not like it was anyway #and at least now being anxious makes sense #its a bunch of small to medium shit id probably feel better about if i talked more #but the less i talk and just observe people from a distance unseen the happier people i care about seem so #im literally a fifth wheel so the least i can do is not squeak and alert others to my presence #i really need to get better at art and get faster at working so i can have SOMETHING to offer #oh wow theres a tag limit apparently guess i have to find a new method bc making a new post is begging for attention & I don't wanna do that

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nevil-gonslek · 8 months

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I wanna date someone like platonically.

Boy I'm weird.

#silly thoughts #why cant i just be normal #lmfao #but im serious #......#im losing it

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angeltism · 9 months

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my need for reassurance vs my need for no no no don't talk first no nope you can't talk to them they'll hate you forever nope nope noope

#➳ the fool speaks #i swear when this happens it's like me and Other Being are having a one-sided argument . of sorts #i'm interpreting everything and anything as aggression and hatred and dislike and they probs don't even know what's going on lmao ??#why does this happen so much . it's like . more than i'd like . more than feels normal lmfao #and the ''nope dont talk first dont message first'' is so WEIRD #like ijust . cant ! i dont know why sometimes i can but most of the time i just cannot #like . at allll . ??

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