#Want to gib pets~

[seakara]

RuneScape Hellhounds before their semi-recent update

[rawliverandgoronspice]

The Dondon Post (or: the bizarre TotK's side content counterpoints to its main quest's immuable binary morality)

Speaking of strange TotK Choices, I think I have one singe post left in me about this game; and it's about the Dondon quest, "The Beast and the Princess".

(and about other stuff too, you'll see, we'll get to them)

More specifically: about how... strange of a thematic point it feebly attemps to make in the larger context of the storyline, and how it seems to be yet another mark of a world that, perhaps, once tried to be more morally complex that it ended up becoming.

Buckle up: it's a long one, and it gets pretty conceptual.

(good gem boys notwhistanding)

The Princess and the Beast

So, a couple of things about the setup. We are investigating potential Princess sightings; but at this point, either because we have already completed a bunch and know the general gib, because we have met a couple of wild Fake Zelda shenanigans, or through the simple fact that we are completing a side quest, we know there's a good chance it won't lead to an actual Zelda information. So when we ask Penn about what is going on and he replies with the ominous "we saw the Princess riding some kind of beast --a frightening one with huge, brutal tusks-- that the princess seemed to control", we get Ideas. Then the sidequest is registered: "The Princess and the Beast".

So. You know me. And if you don't know me, here's what you should know: my brain immediately flared up with the thought there was no way in hell this wasn't some kind of wink towards Ganondorf's renowned boarish beast form, especially given tusks were given so much focus.

My first assumption was: that's a miniboss right? I will get to fight some small boar-like thing that Fake Zelda rides sometimes. Cool! I didn't hold too hard onto my hope that the relationship of Zelda and/or Ganondorf to the natural world, or to each other would be expanded upon, since I had already been burned before, but my interest was piqued.

You have to understand how starved I was for any hint of complexity or mystery or ambiguity at this point. I was extremely eager for the game to throw anything at me that would surprise me, enlighten something pre-established, make the exploration lead to a meaningful discovery or deepening of characters, world or themes (and not just slightly cooler loot, or a bossfight, or a puzzle devoid of emotional context --cohesion and depth is what motivates my play sessions, especially in an open world game that I want to believe is worth losing oneself into). This was about the most intriguing task on my to do list at the moment, and so I plunged in immediately.

After really REALLY misunderstanding what I was supposed to do (I stalked every corner of every forest surrounding the tropical area at night or during blood moons in hope to see something --which was very much the wrong call), I arrived to the other stable, then was guided to the other side of the river where Cima awaits and explains that these creatures are actually a new species discovered by Zelda; that they are gentle and kind and not at all scary ("Dondons aren't beastly, they're adorable!"), and even somehow digest luminous stones into gemstones. They like the company of people and liked Zelda in particular.

I was... I felt two different ways about this conclusion, and I think it's worth to explore both: disappointment and some sort of... "huh!" Hard to describe this emotion otherwise.

I'll get the disappointment out of the way first, because it's the least interesting of the two. While I think the little emotional arc I was taken on was not devoid of interest --I was indeed taken on by the rumor and intrigued by its implications-- I wanted, well. A little bit more. And if the creatures were to be Zelda's pet project, I would have loved for them to be actually terrifying and feisty, and for her to develop an interest for these creatures in particular regardless. It could have been very interesting characterization that veered out of the perfect princess loving the perfect world floundering around her, always bringing her clear, practical benefits from the interaction.

(I have made another post that speaks of my discomfort that Zelda does everything everywhere and everyone loves her for it --I get what they were trying to go for, but it either lacks conflict for me to buy into that dynamic at the scale of several regions, or they went on too hard for my taste, as she is, at once and in the span of a couple of years at most: a schoolteacher, a gardener, an animal researcher, a scholar, a traveler, a military expert, a knower of landscape, a painter, a horse rider, an infrastructure planner, a [...] princess --at some point it begins to sound made up, "Little Father of the people"-esque to rattle the hornet's nest a little bit, especially if it's not shown as either a clearly godly characteristic or, even more necessary imo, a negative trait; another expression of her killing herself at work to compensate for a perceived flaw she's trying to earn forgiveness for, like she did in BotW. But that's another topic, and the clumsiness of her character arc has been well threaded by basically everybody disappointed in the story already.)

But, if I decide to be a little graceful, I'd like to explore my "huh!" emotion, and take it apart a little bit.

I think there's something interesting to have such strong parallels to setting up a story about the relationship between Zelda and Ganondorf ("The Princess and the Beast", like come on guys that's the conflict of over half the series), or at least Zelda and the concept of Evil since Ganondorf pretty much represents it in this game, and then have it go: actually, there was a horrible monster that everyone was afraid of, but Zelda was wise and patient enough to approach it and realize its potential beyond the tusks, what beauty can be brought upon the world if one makes the effort to look for what exists underneath. It says something a bit deeper about the world and about Zelda in particular. It intrigues, at the very least.

Is it a reach? Probably! Is my first interpretation that the quest is actually about "eww you thought Zelda would be interested in *disgusting vile monsters* and not sweet and gentle and human-loving animals that literally shit jewlery when cared for? jokes on you, she never would feel any ounce of sympathy for anything that isn't Good and Deserving" uhhh definitively truer? Probably! But I also don't want to dismiss that the quest made me think about it. If I had completed it earlier, I might have even felt like it was (very clumsy, not gonna lie) setup about the main conflict.

But that's also a good segway into my next section: the arbitrary limitations between the animal and the creature, the monstrous and the human.

And the fact that TotK points directly at it.

A Monstrous Collection

(these two guys are just. doing So Much and being So Valid despite being massive weirdos the game wants us to be slightly repelled by. I, for one, respect the Monster kinning grind and their general Twilight Princess energy.)

So. These two guys. There is so much to say about these two guys. I don't think I have seen the Trans Perspective on Kolton on tumblr, and I would love to get it because. I feel like it's a worthwhile discussion (just, how gender and identity is handled in TotK overall, I feel like it's a very complicated conversation and I have not seen super deep dives and I'd be very interested in hearing more).

Beyond the throughline of voluntary consumption of magical objects to turn into less human creatures being a weirdly prevalent plot point in TotK (Zelda, Kolton and Ganondorf casually transing their entire species for funsies --Ganondorf being particularly relentless with Fake Zelda, mummy/phantom shenanigans, Demon King and then literal dragon), I want to focus on Kilton a little bit.

Kilton is genuinely the only NPC in the game willing to acknowledge the inherent personhood that monsters have (the game does showcase them picking up fruits, mourning their boss if you kill them, being cutesy and happy to identify you as one of their own if you wear the appropriate mask --and that's not even getting into creatures like the Lynels, who seem to really edge on the limit of being a conscious creature with a system of honor and property and many other things). He does encourage us to think of monsters as more than a species whose only worth lie in how fun it is to eradicate them; even more, gameplay-wise, he does give us a reason to interact with them in other ways than just our sword with his museum. He does encourage us to see that beauty for ourselves and then select what we think is coolest/most intimidating/cutest/eight billion ganondorfs in every pose imaginable

The fact that Ganondorf is considered a monster was a great win for this feature in particular, and is very funny, but it's also... A lot, if we dig at it a little more than warranted. Beyond all of the Implications and all of the things of representation and political conflict and values already discussed ad nauseum: when did he stop being considered a human? What does that mean about the flimsiness of what is a monster and what is a creature and what is an animal and what is a person and what is even a hylian, as sheikahs got absorbed into the definition in this game? Especially with the stones taken into account, how profound changes in nature are a huge part of the plot (even when reversed and ultimately pretty meaningless): how easy it is, to make that slip? Who decides when that slip has been made? What is acceptable to hurt without remorse? What is beautiful and worth preserving? What is both at once? What is neither?

And again, in a classic Zelda conundrum (appreciative(?)): who the fuck gets to decide that, when, and why?

The Bargainers and the Horned God

(major shoutout to these big guys for being the sole and only providers of actual depth to the Depths, and for looking cool as heck)

So. Let's move the conversation to the Depths.

Conceptually: what an interesting idea!! And so well executed (initially)!! A mirror world to the surface, dark and hushed and full of unknown creatures; haunted by gloom and sickness and the unknown. Not a first in the series, far from it: from ALTTP to ALBW, and even taking the Twilight world of TP into account, this idea of a Dark World acting as a deforming mirror to Hyrule and revealing many interesting aspects as we get to explore both is always a very interesting take on corruption and envy and fear/weakness and/or some sense of darkness looming under the perfect exterior. I'd argue even the Lens of Truth of both OoT and MM's serve a similar function, both gameplay-wise, but also in terms of theme: not everything is as it seems. In the world of Light, darkness must hide itself; but darkness also possess its own beauty, its own hardships, and will stare back at you without blinking if you go seek for it. It's, in my opinion, one of the series' most compelling conversation about the cyclical nature of fate, the coldness of godhood, and how small one feels in the face of a universe that is more complicated than it initially appears --which is why Courage must be invoked to push forward regardless.

The Depth's otherworldly ambiance is truy wonderful, whether in the plays of light and shadows, the creatures native to the environment we meet there (wish we met more!), the soundtrack, the strange aquatic/primordial plants, the fact that the dragons visit this place and connect them to the outside --invoking ideas of balance and interconnectivity, that the tree branches look like veins. The coliseums, the mines, the zonai facilities and the prisons do seem to poke at many things about what the relationship to the past was to this place; was it ever truly a place? Did it look like this back then? Why was it buried? Why did it come back? But in spite of it all, I think the Depths struggle overall to question or reveal anything about the surface that we couldn't already assume going in (that the only thing congealing there is Ganondorf's gloom, his lonely domain of Wrongness, only shared by Kohga and the yiga --the only naysayers of Goodness and Light, contemptful and blinded by self-importance and rage). The zonite is mined by gloomy monsters --why, what for?-- so any notion of greed and over-expansion that could have been associated to the zonai is now reabsorbed into Ganondorf's general evilness, since it needs to be reminded he is everything and anything bad with the world: darkness and conquest and greed and capitalism and pollution and bad weather and sickness and darkness and violence and war and death and betrayal and fakeness and lies and patriarchy and exploitation. No matter that he never does a single thing with zonite in the game; rather set up elements of conflict that never go anywhere than, for a second, let the foundations of absolute goodness and absolute evil risk becoming shaky --and you coming to this unwelcoming dark place that hates you, killing the miners and taking their resources for yourself is, on the other holy, royal fur-covered hand, utterly legitimate. The resources were once Rauru's after all, were they not?

And this is what I would say, except... except for the dead. The fallen warriors, the poes, and, most important of all: the Bargainer statues.

The Bargainers are, in-universe, godly creatures guiding the fallen to a place of final respite, regardless of moral alignment. The poes are all, fundamentally, cleansed of judgement: they are lost souls whose past reality does not matter anymore, and all deserve that peace regardless. In spite of the heavy paradise/hell parallels drawn in that game, with Rauru/Zelda/Sonia as the guardians of Light where Ganondorf gets to become a Devil-like figure, it is confirmed here that no such thing exists when you actually die in this universe.

It almost feels as if the fabric of Hyrule itself, in a brief moment that refuses to elaborate on its own point, goes: "yeah, whatever is happening here between Light and Darkness, it doesn't actually matter. This conflict is futile and doesn't understand the real nature of being alive, dead, a god, a person, a monster, an animal. The truth lies elsewhere --but you will never be told what it is."

It's: wild.

One of the game's most striking traits of narrative brilliance in my opinion --to the point where I'm wondering whether it's there on purpose or was effectively an oversight since every other aspect of reality breaks its own back trying to reassure us that everything is at its correct place, receiving the appropriate treatment by the universe in a way that is never to be questioned.

Another case of that ambiguity being allowed to exist without being immediately crushed and repressed is the case of the Horned God (interesting parallel to Ganon's actual horns that he develops in this game in case the hellish parallels weren't clear enough already): a demon Hylia sealed into stone and pushed far from humans in a clear case of questionable behavior since, while the Horned God isn't exactly nice, does propose a different philosophy you are not punished for exploring; and yet, a proposal that has seen itself persecuted in a very real sense by the goddess of absolute goodness, patron of hylians, Zelda, and many more. Pushed away from view.

Interesting.

And Yet, Light Must Prevail

Okay, so, after all of this, we're left to ask... What the fuck is up with morality in Tears of the Kingdom?!

What do we trust? These half-breaths in the occasional sidequests that Light and Darkness is just the wrong frame of reference, that nature cannot be this simple, is ever-shifting and can be recalled or reaffirmed by arbitrary forces, and might even not matter at all in the universe's fabric, despite having so much of its lore soaking in the dychotomy? Or... everything else about the game, this insistence that Good must not only be assumed as whatever tradition the kingdom has passed down for thousands upon thousands of years, but remain utterly unquestioned the entire time? That Bad is without cause, graceless and unworthy of investment?

Are the Bargainer's statues the only thing worth listening to, that morality is a fable the living tells themselves --or should we be moved when Darkness destroys Light, when Light suffers to preserve itself and the world --but not when the Other is rightfully slain?

Was Kilton correct to see beauty in the monstrous? Was Kolton onto something when he let go of his previous form because there is no clear distinction between what should receive an arrow to the face and what shouldn't? Or should we rather focus on Zelda losing her human form as a beautiful and tragic sacrifice --but something that never actually altered her nature as a hylian, the descendant of a lineage of Good Kings meant to rule forever?

Is the Dondon good because it always was, or was it worth Zelda's love in spite of the fear it initially provoked?

Either way, at the end of the game, evil is slain. Ganondorf is, not killed, but --like his angry BotW boar counterpart-- destroyed, as monsters tend to be. He explodes over the lands of Hyrule, freed from Darkness; freed from everything wrong, since the foreign menace that embodied it all was wiped out in one fateful sweep of a holy blade cradled in sacrificial love. Nothing wrong remains. The Sages reaffirm their vows to protect the kingdom forward, and a very human --hylian-- Zelda smiles: Hyrule now forever and ever basked in eternal Light.

[transmickey]

happy wednesday thursday weeeeeee tag game time! thank you loves @heymacy @stocious @thepupperino for tagging me i am kissing u on the forehead

name: aaaajax

age: 2

where in the world are you? north of england but only for 3 more days :')

how tall are you? 162cm..? 5ft 4?????????????

what color are your eyes? brown

what’s something that frightens you? the future [too deep? maybe too deep]

do you have children? if not, do you want any? i do not and . i dont think so

are you the eldest, middle, youngest, or only child? i am 2nd oldest out of 4 (and the most stereotypical middle child u have ever seen)

what time do you usually wake up? hah . lately like midday i have been cherishing the post-uni life

relationship status? very single

do you identify as a member of the queer community? yeeees happy pride

any tattoos/piercings? tattoos but no piercings . might get my nose done tho

something you love: my friends

something you hate: cooking u_u

do you have any pets? no :-( someone gib me kitty

do you have a license/can you drive? hehehehh i can not

if you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be? stop overthinking every interaction you have i promise u no one cares

and finally, something people would be surprised to know about you: um...... i made relatively popular video edits on vine when i was like 13 LMAO

aaaand tags under the cut mwah i love u

@creepkinginc @spookygingerr @roryonic @gallapiech @jrooc

@spacerockwriting @transmurderbug @heymrspatel @lee-ow @deedala

@mickeym4ndy @such-a-barbarian @transsexual-dandelions @deathclassic @mickittotheman

@sleepyheadgallavich @ian-galagher

[g-xix]

Dating + Cat Dad HC's  | King Kenny

Getting the first pet -He lives with his friend and you semi-permanently live there (you have your own flat) -You and his friend agreed to surprise him with a little kitty for his birthday -Vlogged getting the cat that morning -Got so many little treats and climbing frames and stuff for little guy -Came home when Kenny was groggily waking up -Snuck the cat into friend's room and watched as the cat began gently pawing at mattress + smacking the duvet corner around -Waited for rest of Kenny's friends to arrive at flat (birthday lunch was happening at his flat) -At the end of lunch you and friend got the cat out. -AJ, Chunkz and Sharky were surprised but laughed and smiled as they saw Kenny react -Kenny had his hands over his mouth and was "Oh!"-ing in surprise -Heart absolutely melted at the sight of the little guy -As soon as you handed Kenny the pet he was so soft with him -Gently stroked cat's head like he was fragile china -Baby talking to the cat and acting like nobody else was there -Niko loves and always wanted a cat as well and was a mixture of sad, surprised and happy for Kenny as it reminded him of litte Reng -Kenny said he'll call it Samurai -Everyone laughed at the name bc the cat looked anything BUT aggressive -Over the next few days Kenny ignores EVERYONE but Samurai -Litr comes home from training and finds Samurai before greeting you or anyone else -Samurai prefers your company because he's used to you working from home and seeing your more -Samurai literally follows + walks after people -You want privacy from Samurai when you're using the bathroom or whatevs but feel bad closing the door on his little face -Whatever Kenny does he tries to have Samurai near him though -When sat watching a film, he's got your legs across his lap and Samurai resting on your shins so he can stroke him -While sat editing with you in his lap on the gaming chair, Samurai is besides the keyboard smacking a mouse across the desk -Kenny realised early on that Samurai loved sitting at his desk and hitting the mouse -So Kenny bought Samurai his own cheap mouse to play with -We all know Kenny has a rly loud explosive sort of laugh -Like, he laughs like he's been holding it in since 17461BC -Every time he lets out one of those laughs, Samurai does a little jump and rapidly spins around to see Kenny whilst he laughs -Every time Samurai reacts Kenny just laughs more -Kenny would be SUCH a proud cat dad asw -Takes mountains of photos & videos of Samurai just doing little things or sitting somewhere unconventional -Always shows his cat pictures to his friends excitedly saying "Look at what my cat did!" -Kenny spoils that mf with toys as well -Goes to pet shop every so often just to see if they have something new that Samurai might like -At one point was even considering adopting another cat so Samurai would have a friend -You stopped him because you knew that you'd be the one feeding, cleaning and caring for that cat whilst Kenny was working -Big Gibber and JJ also have cats though, and one night just before bed, Kenny let it slip that they'd all sorta been talking about their cats together... -Kenny had said they could both come 'round tomorrow so all their cats could "meet". -Next morning at the ass-crack of dawn, JJ was knocking at your door, and you could hear his bald ass cat meowing from outside too.   -Let him in (and Gib an hour later) and you have breakfast + pet Samurai whilst Kenny and JJ avidly talk about their cats and all their little quirks. -Whilst you're petting Samurai, you have Buu trying to climb up the island stool next to you -Wallace (Gib's cat) is a bit older and just finds purchase on the sofa and goes to sleep/smacks the other cats when they get too close -Kenny's proper happy to see all the cats together though -Every single cat jumps whenever Kenny laughs. Also whenever JJ laughs they all jump before meowing frustratedly at the sheer MAGNITUDE of their laughs -For some reason Niko also came at one point despite not having a cat. -Niko just wanted to play and watch all the cats tbh, he doesn't really care if he doesn't have a cat to bring to the meetup -That night once Buu and Wallace were gone, Kenny couldn't get a smile off of his face bc he feels like a proud dad having introduced his cat to the "community" -Cute HC but Kenny's so protective over everyone he cares about -Like, when he called you once and heard you with a stuffy voice and sneezing, he Uber-ed his way to your house with noodle and a much of medicine -Told you to lie your ass down and rest whilst he did all your house-jobs -It was just a three-day cold or whatever, but Kenny still didn't want you overworking yourself when you were sick -Same vibe- when Samurai first got ill, Kenny dropped EEEEVERYTHING to look after his guy. -Literally got Samurai a whole new blanket just to swaddle him up so Samurai didn't get any colder -Kenny's a constant mix of dying-from-cuteness and concerned for Samurai whenever he hears him sneeze -Carries Samurai around with him everywhere when he's sick- swaddles him up like a baby and j carries him wherever Kenny goes -In the lead up to a fight, Samurai got ill and you were on work abroad, so Kenny took Samurai to camp -Put Samurai in the cup-holder, outer section of the backpack (iykyk) -Sent you a video of all the tough muscly guys at camp passing Samurai around, cooing and stroking his head when he first showed Samurai -Kenny puts his backpack + Samurai on the bench and tells whoever's resting there to make sure Samurai is all good -Whenever Kenny gets rest break, he goes and sips water to the side with Samurai on his lap, just talking nonsense to himself and the cat whilst he's recovering -Coming home and seeing Kenny tryna bathe/wash Samurai would be so funny asw -Samurai HATES baths with like, a BURNING passion, and Kenny hates getting splashed by the water -Kenny's shirtless and complaining at the cat to just " 'low it and let me scrub you!" whilst Samurai is meowing unhappily and dodging his hands in the tub -You're laughing and filming clips from the doorway before eventually giving a helping hand -Kenny's mood brightens again at the end though as he takes pictures of his cat, now skinny as all his fur sticks to his body post-bath -I reckon Kenny uses proper cute little names for Samurai other than his acc name as well though -Namely either calls his cat "big guy" or "little guy" -Samurai's very small but for some reason there's some irony in Kenny saying "Oi big guy come here", before bicep-curling Samurai -Yeah, also uses Samurai like a dumbell sometimes? -Samurai seems to enjoy it so you have no problem, but it is j kinda funny seeing Kenny curling Samurai sometimes -Also Kenny does air-jail with Samurai -If Samurai's too hyper or starts trying to bat the mouse from the computer when Kenny's using it, Kenny will put Samurai up in air-jail and type one-handed instead. -Therefore in conclusion:

[mediocre-noodle]

THE DALLAS HEADCANONS. which ig are just fun facts:

“coffee or tea?” tea. sweet tea. bc i cant have coffee. gib headache :[ therefore he has to suffer w me

fav color: green probably. tis the color of life.

bites ice cream + popsicles

fav popsicle flavor is red n blue. fav sno cone is tigers blood + blue raspberry + piña colada

yes hes ticklish but he hates it. he laughs but its involuntary amd doesnt mean he likes it. he will start crying. he will kick you, he will bite you, he will shove you—get away from him. he said stop.

dallas LOVES attention. not random attention, like. from friends. like a cat…. exactly like a cat.

affection is iffy. he shows it in a neurodivergent way. he has trouble being around people or being touched soemtimes. he also may feel guilty when people buy him gifts. he loves it sm though. he craves it.

sleep normally 6-10 hrs per night. go to bed very late and wake up in afternoon.

loves celebrating his birthday. however i haven’t given him a canon bday yet. he is a pisces though bc aha i am.

if he ever adopts a pet, its most likely bc he got them from the streets or from a shelter. esp if the shelter was about to euthanize them or there was an old animal no one wanted.

do not ask if he wants alcohol. he is a minor. no he doesnt care that hes TECHNICALLY hundreds of thousands years old. that’s offensive. fuck off. die. (/j)

willing to share earbuds/headphones BUT only w close friends— NOT LENDING!! SHARE-ING!!!! one piece for you and one for him. all is right in the world. (you will listen to his songs. sometimes people have never heard of them bc theyre from years before they were posted)

can he keep a secret? of fucking course. no he totally won’t tell seraphina, pfff—OKAY WELL IT’S NOT LIKE THEY WON’T ALREADY FIND OUT—

know-it-all but not in a I KNOW MORE THAN YOU RAHHHH and “well actually!!”— more of ‘knows so many fucking things and drops facts randomly’

pancakes > waffles. chocolate chip with no syrup or butter.

indecisive. but also decisive. can never chose.

is NOT insecure abt his smile. smiles brightly and w lots of joy. no closed-mouth if hes very happy. no he doesnt care if his teeth may look yellow— bones are supposed to look that way

fucking loves flowers. GIVE THE MAN SOME FLOWRRS.

normally prefers sweet over savory. it differs depending on the day.

loves gardening. HATES dirt under his nails. HATES gloves. the duality of man.

!!!! claustrophobia, fear mazes/labyrinths (or places that seem like ones) (bc of the castle), and then imma project and say storms + tornadoes. not gonna say loud noises bc he isn’t like. irrationally afraid of them. they may trigger him and send him into a panic attack but not a phobia.

worries people bc he doesn’t eat as much as he should. not in an ED way, more as in he only eats if hes bored or craving food. Guides don’t need to eat.

he has a CPR license and does renew it often

list is always growing so wooo!!

HEADCANON TIME!!

i love coffee but tbh dallas is actually real for that. i would do many things for an ice cold sweet tea

green is such a good color

UGH dallas is real for those.. i want kona ice now :/ (have u had kona ice before?)

UGH I HATE TICKLING but im so susceptible… hes just like me fr…..

projecting our sleep schedules onto our original characters i see

happy birthday dallas!! no established birthday means that everyday is his birthday

hhghgh i want to draw dallas with a really old dog now…

LMAOOOO hes a minor at heart… forever…

“dude this songs a banger!! no its not on spotify. yeah it wont be for another 30 years. you should listen to it tho”

he would see a cool bug and name its genus on the spot

he deserves so many good things i want to give him a hug (if he would be ok with it) OUGH

[witchthewriter]

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 @sardonic-the-writer.

Want one? Here’s more info 🦋🌈  

𝐏𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐧

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝑱𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝑺𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒘! Both chaotic and enthusiastic, you two would live a life of adventure and fun. He would feel odd not having you by his side, like a part of him is missing. Your souls are somehow entwined, like two sides of the same coin, or thread knitted together. 

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・His signature show of affection is running the back of his pointer finger down the slop of your nose. 

・Of course you share a cabin on the Black Pearl (when you ... have the Black Pearl). You like to decorate it, and Jack has just learnt to let you

・Whenever you get hurt, that’s the only time you’ll see Jack serious. He will literally tear the world apart just to find you. So when you’ve got a wound, he’ll go crazy on the person who did it

・Calls you ‘love’, ‘pet’, ‘twinkle toes,’ ‘pretty eyes’. He loves making things up on the spot

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Barracuda by Heart

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

・Chaotic Dumbass Duo / Similar Personalities 

・Always Hold Grudges (Jack) x Forgives Too Easily (You)

・Always Bringing Them Rocks They Think They Would Like (You) x Keeps The Rocks (Jack)

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Soulmates

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Your loyalty, fun-loving attitude and love for freedom. He needs someone who understands his love for not only sailing, but piracy. It’s freedom, but also ... taking your life into your own hands. 

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Would be Gibbs, Ragetti and Pintel. Gibs would be great at understanding you, even when you don’t fully understand yourself. Ragetti and Pintel would be so entertaining that you’d like hanging out with them, even if they were your enemies at one point in time. 

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

To me you seem like a mix of Jack, Ragetti and Elizabeth. You have this chaotic, enthusiastic and curious energy about you. I love it! You’re seem so fun, but a tad unsure of yourself. Don’t ever feel like you’re too much for someone, you’re amazing!

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

In this universe fantasy and fiction collide. Although the animals cannot talk, there are fantasy creatures that lie in this world. So your pet is a dolphin (an already incredibly smart creature) who will somehow find you no matter where you are. It’s incredible actually, and it utterly freaks Jack out. 

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐞 𝐃𝐨 𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑵𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒐𝒓! I just think you two would have such chaotic energy - but like ... manic behaviour? You would be so fun together, and poor Guillermo, running after you two. At least you don’t make as much of a mess as Nandor. 

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・Nandor is constantly humming or saying things underneath his breath, Sometimes you have no idea how he’s survived for so long because there is not an ounce of self preservation in him

・Going along with each other’s crazy ideas - Guillermo is the voice of reason, so you can be as insane as you want

・Nandor would buy you incredibly expensive jewellery, and find (more like make Guillermo find) first editions of your favourite books. He would literally make a library for you filled with every book there is (Guillermo ... builds the library)

・Loves your brain and is constantly asking you questions. He wants your opinion on everything; something that he hasn’t experienced with other lovers

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

I’m Kissing You by Des’ree

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

・Height Difference

・Pair of walking disasters who cannot function without the other 

・ Madly In Love (Nandor) x Ridiculously Oblivious (You) - when you first meet each other. 

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Menaces To Society

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

You let Nandor be ... Nandor. You don’t try to change him, to make him ‘better’. You’re happy being yourself with him. But also, you do make him a tad more self-aware (because he listens to you and only you). 

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Nadja, she would do wonders for your confidence. But also indulge in your fantasies and chaos. Not once judging you for your choices. She would support you in anything as well. 

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

A mix between Jenna and Nandor; able to have fun, but also still learning about the world and what it has to offer. You’re, I guess, learning your place in the world. 

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

I just imagine you having pets that are so vicious and possessive of you but you’re kinda like a ray of sunshine? Like I can imagine someone coming to your house with Nandor, thinking they’re going to meet this absolutely terrifying vampire, and who has these goddamn hellhounds for pets. But then they meet you and you’re so ... full of life???

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑱𝒐𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏! She’s chaotic by nature, but also self-aware and very intelligent. I think she would hate you at first - or pretend to hate you. Your cheerful and energetic attitude would ‘annoy’ her. But you would grow on her, not even meaning to. 

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・Will only share her inner feelings with you. Everyone sees this once angry woman, who was traumatised and tortured by the Capitol. But you see what’s underneath all that. 

・From enemies, to friends, to lovers. She found a safe place with you. 

・Her pet name for you is your last name. She used to say it in a mocking tone, but now she says it with love and affection in her tone. 

・Her love language is quality time and acts of service. She’s a bit hesitant with the whole physical touch thing - until she felt safe with you. Then she kisses you everyday and loves to cuddle (she loves being the little spoon but don’t tell anyone)

・Moving in together was a big step in your relationship; one that no one really saw coming. You live in a house that is nothing like the Capitol; it’s more of a cottage. One that is close enough to civilisation but far enough that you don’t have neighbours

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Style by Ryan Adams

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

・Hates Reading (Johanna) x Lives For Reading (You)

・Looks Like A Cinnamon Roll, Could Kill You (You) x Looks Like They Could Kill You, Is A Cinnamon Roll (Johanna)

・Teases Them (You) x About To End Them (Johanna)

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Enemies to Lovers

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Your excitement and hope for life. You might not think it, but you bring so much to Johanna’s life. She feels so ... wrong inside, but somehow you’re able to help her fix the puzzle inside her. 

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Finnick; he would absolutely love your energy. Your honesty, how forthright you are. He would seek you out when he’s having a hard day, just sitting with you and Johanna. Of course, she would make a snarky remark but you would always counteract it with something positive. 

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

A mix between Finnick, Haymitch and Effie. You have this effervescent energy. So lively and at times, lawless. I see you as a person who doesn’t like rules (or the ‘rules’ that neurotypicals have created). You’re unique, joyful and ... so alive. 

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

You found him one afternoon on your walks with Johanna (she hated going outside, but you made her everyday). It was on the start of her healing journey, and then you found a stray. This starving mutt who came to you so humbly. You couldn’t deny him. But ... him was actually a her, and she had a litter of pups that she showed you the next day. (You seem like the type of person who animals feel safe with). 

[i-have-not-slept]

Malectober Day 17: Cat

Alec woke up with the bright golden light of morning seeping through the windows, and his cat sleeping on his head.

“Ow,” he mumbled, reaching up to disentangle tiny, needle-sharp claws from his hair. “That hurts, Chairman. Go bother Magnus.” He shoved the cat in the direction of his still-sleeping husband. Chairman Meow gave a satisfied purr, nuzzling into the curve of Magnus’s arm. Alec huffed and flopped back on the mattress. The sudden movement woke Magnus. “What’s going on?” he mumbled, blinking sleepily at Alec.

Alec raised his eyebrows. “Your cat woke me up.”

Magnus slumped back, flinging his elbow over his eyes. “This time of the morning he’s your cat.” he grumped.

Alec smiled, unable to pretend he was angry any longer. He cuddled up to Magnus, absently reaching over to stroke the Chairman's ears.

“How many cats have you had?”

Magnus sat up, looking more awake and blinking at Alec. “What?”

“Ragnor mentioned a few days ago that you’d had a cat continuously since the 1950s. So I just wondered how many.”

Magnus thought for a minute. “Seventeen.”

“Huh.”

“They weren’t all since the fifties.” Magnus added. “I’ve had a cat at various times before then, and other pets too. But yes, I’ve always had a cat since then. So….seventeen, in total.”

“What were their names?” Alec asked. He was genuinely curious. He suspected that Magnus had thought up some pretty ridiculous pet names in his time.”

“Well, now I have the Chairman, obviously.” Magnus began. And before him was Catterine the Great. And before her was The Great Catsby….Clary pulled his tail once, when she was a little girl.”

Alec burst out laughing. He rolled onto his side, facing Magnus. “Go on”

“Before him was The Notorious C.A.T.” And before him were Pawsta and Purrito…they were brother and sister…”

“Those names are terrible.”

“Possibly not my finest moment.” Magnus admitted. “Then there was Cat-22 — he was a real mean bastard. I’ve still got the scars where he clawed me. And then there was Charles Mittens…”

Alec curled in on himself, one hand over his mouth, shaking with silent laughter.

“And earlier,” Magnus continued, “there was Miette, and Gib, and Garis-Garis…”

Alec’s brow furrowed. “Is that Indonesian for…”

“Stripes.” Magnus confirmed. “Not the most imaginative of names, I confess.” He put Chairman Meow down for a second, grabbing a silk robe from the floor and wrapping it around himself. He swung himself out of bed, picked up the cat again, and headed for the door. Alec grabbed a discarded sweater from the floor and trailed after him. He shrugged it on over his pyjama pants as he followed Magnus to the kitchen.

“And there was Soctrates, and Teddy, and Birba…” Magnus continued.

“What are you talking about?” Rafe asked, wandering out of his room. Max was already seated at the kitchen bench, with the expectant air that meant he wanted breakfast now.

“Cat names.” Magnus replied, putting Chairman Meow down on the floor. The small grey tabby instantly bolted for the safety of the living room, away from grabby children’s hands.

“What would you call a cat, if we got another one?” Magnus asked the boys, turning on the stove.

Max thought for a minute, then declared solemnly, “Spider-Cat.”

Magnus laughed, and reached into the cupboard for pancake ingredients. Alec wandered into the living room, and coaxed Chairman Meow out from under the coffee table. The Chairman clambered up Alec’s arm and onto his shoulder, clinging to his sweater with his claws. Alec headed back to the kitchen, Chairman Meow riding on his shoulder. He sat at the bench beside his sons, transferring the Chairman to his lap.

He felt a rush of fondness for the little cat. Chairman Meow had been Magnus’s before Alec had come into his life, had been the only thing keeping Magnus company at home before Alec had met him. He and Magnus had met at a birthday party Magnus had thrown for the cat.

“Without you,” Alec murmured into the cat’s soft fur, “we might never have met. So I’m grateful.” Chairman Meow purred as if he understood. And when Magnus dished up the pancakes he’d made, Alec was amused to see they were in the shape of seated cats.

[jaydahfarts]

So, Here I am! My name is J’Aydah! I am 13 years of age (DONT BE CREEPY!) and I adore TF2. I never played the game but when I first saw Heavy Is Dead, I fell into the wacky community of TF2.

This is one of three of my tf2 ocs. Her class is Sci-fi and her name is Soul Macroy. She was hired after Heavy found her digging around the base’s dumpsters, homeless and hungry. Also with her pet rat, Gib.

He picked her up and showed her off like “Omg look what heavy find in trash” and took her to the Administrator. As she went to shoot Soul, Pauling stopped her, telling her that the mines that they stored bodies in were being investigated by Tuefort Police Department and if they left another body near or in them, it would be a bit suspicious and they could be arrested. Admin reluctantly agreed, gave Soul a training course, she passed, she gave her the job as the 10th class, and sent her on her way.

Her first days were hard, she learned more about guns and the other mercenaries, carried herself goodly, and was smart. And full of vulgar language. Lost of vulgar language.

(I know, my character doesn’t match her lore 😭)

Anyway, more info! (And trauma bc you gotta get that juicy backstory)

Soul was born in 1946 on June 10th. She is a Mexican and African American mixed young lady, about 4’11 and is feisty. She had two parents and a sister, a mother named Mariel Macroy, a father named John J Macroy and a sister named Miracle Macroy. Her mother’s side of the family was not very wealthy. Her father’s side.. was very rich but greedy. Before she was even 5, her mother died from a “mysterious” suicide after their dinner. Soul was forced to leave to Detroit with her father and sister who was a manipulative and cruel man and a bratty and spoiled girl. He forced Soul to fit his view, a pretty, perfect young woman for her only purpose to be a housewife at only the age of 12. While her sister was a golden child because she fit all of their father’s views. This caused Soul to rebel. And her father, John, didn’t like that. He took her to a lab. He dropped her off at the entrance, only her blanket covering her.

The “doctors” took her in. They told her where she was, fed her and sat her in a room. They talked a bit outside the door, then turned to the young Soul.

After 6 years of being abused, experimented on, going insane, forced into fighting rings and even having her arm taken off by a rabid patient,

The lab, “Children’s Health Labs”, was caught in a fire. It burned down to the ground, leaving only a few children and Soul alive. Soul ran away from the children who wanted her to come with them, not wanting near the scene. She ran into the town of Tuefort, hiding from the many people who wanted to take her in for a price of 50,000 dollars, She became homeless and stayed in the streets which she did for 11 more years, before slipping in an old street, going through a bit and getting found by ol Heavy.

So, that is my character.

I really, really hope you like her backstory and my art, if not, I’m sorry, please leave some feedback or suggestions to fix it.

Anyways, thank you for reading. I am hoping to post more soon. Bye!

[quinloki]

You asked for pet pics, you shall receive them °^°

oh my apologies for the LONG POST for everyone else, but my gods these are delightfully adorable pet pics! I love them all T-T I want to pet their widdle heads and gib them smooches. ♥

The cat on it's hind legs with its paws together is just filling my soul with warmth T-T I appreciate all the cuteness SO MUCH

[anotherbloodiedbonesaw]

I want to put you in a cage and keep you like a bird

Gib u treats :))) pets pets

Sehr schön!

---

-🧡🇧🇪

I am not a bird.

..And I do not vant to be held hostage in a cage. But zhe latter sounds fine.

Käfig mich nicht ein. Danke.

[mixed-up-multiverse]

@wickedlittlepuppy sent: (🐾 + robo bunny - for V)

Gib animals!! | Accepting!

// V had heard of these little things. Small models of them could be found in the city right by the Workers' outpost. Some had begun to function and live on their own akin to organic rabbits (even somehow having babies), some were destroyed and frozen over in the core explosion.

And now, her friend and squadmate had just given one to her. The robo-rabbit looks up at her, those big ol' eyes looking up at her cutely as it sits in her palms. It was covered in a soft, velvety substance which made it nicer to hold to anyone, even the constantly-busy worker drones who usually didn't go near them (as they were always mining).

V's digital eyes seemed to get bigger and cuter too, to give the same adorable look the robotic animal was giving her. The two robots continued to stare at each other with them big ol' eyes, giving each other cute expressions with seemingly no other purpose. The fact that the robo-rabbit was so soft made it all the more nicer and precious.

Then, without warning, V opened her metallic maw-- several rows of thousands of sharp, stainless steel teeth were visible for all to see as she let out the most unholiest of unholy monster-hisses at the small and innocent robotic rabbit, which still kept looking up at her and staying seated in her palms. Did it not see the dangerous, fang-bearing killer robot was going to probably do it harm?!

The Disassembly drone's mouth began to water as she continued to show her horrifying mouth towards the tiny prey in her hands, then she leaned forwards, and...

Mwah!

...Gave the cute little metal critter a small and gentle peck on the forehead before petting it, causing the soft li'l thing to rub into her hand back, clearly wanting more affection.

Wasn't this a surprising sight?

[thegnomelord]

*after eating I lick up the mess* hey I clean up after myself! Now gib headpats. Pleeeeeease *nudges your hand*

-your local dumbass 🐺

Oh fine, you were a very good doggo you'll get all the pets you want

[soda-sparkss]

I hear send pet pics, so I am here to gib pet pics

Look at my mlem queen

She has no thoughts, only mlems

SHE IS THE CUTEST I WANT TO GIVE HER LITTLE PETS ON THE HEAD GRAAAAAAAAAARH!!!

[shijjii]

in moments of need

it's been a while since I wrote and once again, I am feeling a bit down so now I gib you a hurt/comfort fic brought to you by our lovely Wolfstar

TW: cuts, blood

Remus couldn't find where Sirius was. James said that he had bolted off after reading a letter that was from his "mother" and saw him talking to Regulus as well but seeing as the Marauder's map was still in the process of being made, they can't really find where the boy was. And so, Remus made it his mission for the day to find where the gray eyed boy was. He had looked almost everywhere, dorms, the kitchen, the edge of the forbidden forest- he even went to look for him in the library- but to no avail, he did not find Sirius Black. The sun was setting, the day was almost ending and Remus' feet were getting tired when he decided to look for him in the astronomy tower

There he was, back turned from the door, eyes looking up at the sky and his breathing was slow and even. Remus decided to approach him, and that's when he saw the cuts on Sirius' wrists and arms

"Padfoot!" Sirius was startled, not expecting for someone to be there behind him while he was admiring the stars up in the sky. The small piece of blade fell down from the tower as Sirius looked up at the dual coloured eyes that stared at him in worry

"What happened?" he asked, gently but firmly taking the boy's injured wrists into his hands to inspect it closer

"I just got scratched up by someone's pet cat" Remus looked up from the wrists and shook his head "don't lie, Sirius. I know more than anyone else what these are. What happened?"

Sirius pursed his lips and looked away from Remus, the look of shame on his face pretty evident

Remus put his hand on the boy's cheeks and kissed his forehead

"love, in moments of need, I want you to look for me. I will always be here for you, no matter what." Sirius put his hand on top of Remus' and clasped it together

"I'm sorry. I'm still not used to it" he said, Remus put his forehead on Sirius' and lightly kissed his nose before saying "It's hard, I know it is. Having to grow up and being independent on yourself but Sirius, I'm here now. You don't have to say anything to me, just come up to me and hold my hand, kiss my cheeks or make out with me if that helps you. I'll always be here for you" Sirius sighed in relief at the close contact and pecked Remus' lips lightly

"I'll always be here for you as well, Moonbeam."

[sharpen-jadescythe]

Random weird hunter advice

Sharpen breaks the 4th wall to tell you fun things.

I want to randomly talk about an under-utilized, amazing hunter pet.

Gib the Banana Hoarder

He has a fez! It's fun to watch monkeys fight because... do they smack things? I think so! And you can get a matching companion pet off the auction house.

I got one for a wow buddy recently. They really liked it.

So. Go out there, to Swamp of Sorrows and into that corner area and tame Gib.

You won't regret it.

While you are in the area, by the way...

You can also head to the Sunken Temple and tame Hakkar. Hakkar!

That's all.

[behoright]

not a question but i want to CHEW on brent's tattoos just bite lightly all over and maybe gib him some kithes on his tattoos <333 also imagine coloring them in with sharpies and him just babying u god i love him and the ddlg. like usually i'm not into ddlg sorta stuff but with him? oh my.

the amount of brent thirst in my askbox please keep bringing it on !!!!!

he has tattoos all over his thighs maybe you can sit on the ground while he lets you color them :') pets your head :'))))

i think he'd be the best most caring Daddy like he fits the role perfectly