#We’ve been mutuals for a lil bit but it’s only just now hitting me that holy cow

[xxxcertifiednerdxxx]

I am normal about this.

[dirtysvthoughts]

Hey! Can I request a Woozi and wall sex or gym sex? Idk, whichever you prefer. But, god, imagine him railing you with him wearing that black shirt in that one vlive. Oh, I would pass out!!!

a/n: switching it up from private dancer for a bit and answering some asks in my drafts! the jihoon rot has been so fucking real… it’s unfair. so i decided to be a menace and combine it to where he rails you up against the wall at a gym 😏 hope y’all enjoy! <3

word count: 958

tags/warnings: female! reader, boyfriend!/gym junkie! jihoon, semi-public sex, railing, soft-ish dom! jihoon, mutual turn-ons, making out, pet names (baby, babe), some dirty talk, cute lil relationship banter for .002 seconds, a full proofread will be done later!

you’re trying to focus. you really are.

but with your boyfriend grunting trying to complete his third set of 20 reps with his weights, your core was aching for jihoon to just stop his workout and put his hands all over you.

you turn up the volume on your airpods, hoping it would drain out jihoon’s voice and the rest of thr outside noise. slowly dropping to your knees on your yoga mat, you get ready to start doing some ab work.

getting back into your own zone, you don’t even realize that jihoon has the same mindset as you. the pastel blue two-piece set you decided to don was driving him insane. the bra top makes your boobs sinfully pop out, and the tiny shorts accentuate every beautiful curve on your lower body. and when you bent over to get your water bottle or to do a set? god, he felt so dirty trying to catch a peek, but why did it feel so good?

“19, 20,” jihoon counts in his head, letting out a loud sigh of relief now that he had finished his last reps. he turns his attention and his body toward you, smirking at how you now transitioned into doing some stretches, working on your downward dog. he walks toward you and when he is fully behind you, jihoon grabs your hips and you look up in the mirror, relaxing when you realized it was your boyfriend.

“hoon, you scared me for a sec,” you playfully roll eyes. “you’re done already? we’re only 20 minutes in babe, i thought we were gonna stay for an hour..” you move around so that you sit on your mat, looking up at jihoon questioningly.

“oh we are, i just wanna do something else first,” he kneels down to meet you, crawling toward you to meet your lips, holding you by the back of your neck.

you return the vigor in his kiss, moving forward to push into him, causing him to fall back onto the mat. you maneuver on top of him, your thigh in between his crotch, kissing your way down his neck. one of your hands roam his black shirt, feeling his chest up. you whimper and your pussy clenches, feeling his detailed ab muscles.

jihoon grabs your ass, palming your cheeks. he sits up as he continues to touch you, pulling you closer by your legs. as he moves his fingers to your crotch, he scoffs at the wet spot he can feel.

“wet already and all we’ve done is makeout on the gym floor.. you dirty dirty girl,” he kisses you deeply and when you separate, you swear the wind is knocked out of you.

“damn it, don’t tease me jihoon,” you whine, needy for him to just put himself inside you. “you’ve already riled me up, just fuck me.”

your words go straight to his core, and without another word, he helps the both of you help and walks you backward until you hit the wall, slightly wincing at the coolness hitting your warm body.

jihoon rushes to take off your clothes, hiking your bra top over your head, followed by your shorts, revealing the lacy black piece underneath.

“lace? for a workout?” he chuckles as he turns you around, your chest now pressed against the surface.

“shut up, i can be sexy and sporty,” you groan, and it quickly becomes drawn out when you feel his tip enter you from behind.

“what the fuck, hoon- how did you undress so fast?”

“hmph, don’t worry about me - worry about keeping your voice down before the both of us get caught. don’t make me have to stuff anything in that slutty lil mouth cause you can’t listen.”

you try to protest, but he pushes in even more, your mouth opening wider. your voice box wants to get louder, but your self control wins. the fear of getting caught is enticing, but you knew jihoon liked this gym, so you bite down on your lip - hard enough to draw blood.

you think you’re ready for the first thrust, but your body convulses when he moves, hands pushing deeper into the wall, your breaths becoming pants. you curse under your breath as he continues thrusting, speeding up the pace.

“shit, shit - jihoon, more, please!” you quietly beg as he smacks your ass, wincing at the stinging. your moans begin to get more pornographic and louder, chanting jihoon’s name like it was the only word you knew.

“o-oh, oh my g-god, fuck, jihoon, too much- t-too m-much! i’m gonna cum, i wanna c-cum, please let me cum! wanna drip down your thighs..”

he whispers in your ear, voice dropping down an octave and it sends you over the edge, “then do it, fucking cum all over my cock baby, get messy,”’ he bites down on your earlobe, smiling against your skin.

you moan loud enough for jihoon to hear, but quiet enough to not fill up the empty space. you try to regulate your breathing, but your high overtakes you. your body tries to slump down the wall, but jihoon’s quickly wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in for one more kiss. when you separate, you lean into his shoulder, humming to yourself, fingers running up his naked waist.

“how ya feelin?” he asks as you look up at him.

“hmm, i feel good,” you say smiling, looking up at him. “whaddaya wanna do, we still have half our time left. my place or yours?”

“since you did such a good job for me, we can go back to my place. get things your babe, you can be as loud as you want when i’m fucking you on my bed.”

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 14/10/2023 (Drake's 'For All the Dogs', Nines' 'Crop Circle 3', Lovejoy)

Content warning: mentions of sex, violence, anxiety and SO. MUCH. DRAKE.

Kenya Grace’s first chart hit is also her first chart-topper as “Strangers” hits #1! It’s a pretty big week, with or without Drake, and this is REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start the episode off with our notable dropouts, which as I always explain are always the songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is always what I cover - after spending five weeks in the region or peaking in the top 40. “Always” by Bon Jovi is not included, but we do see the loss of some 2023 hits like “TRIPLE THREAT” by Headie One, K-Trap and Clavish, “Slime You Out” by Drake featuring SZA (thanks to the three-song rule - though it’s a toss-up whether this one will actually come back), “Tension” by Kylie Minogue, “Feel It” by Jazzy, “TELEKINESIS” by Travis Scott featuring SZA and Future, “Speed Drive” by Charli XCX and “Little Things” by Jorja Smith, as well as some old songs that won’t go away temporarily going away, those being “Dog Days are Over” by Florence + the Machine and “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi.

What’s always infinitely more interesting are the gains, of which there aren’t all too many this week. We do see the biweekly return of a Fleetwood Mac song with “Dreams” at #73, and then for our notable gains, we see boosts for “Escapism.” by RAYE featuring 070 Shake getting what must be a third or fourth wind at #54, “Back on 74” by Jungle at #30, “I Remember Everything” by Zach Bryan featuring Kacey Musgraves at #29, “Stick Season” by Noah Kahan at #28 and “ecstacy” by SUICIDAL-IDOL at #26. I’m not really complaining either, most of these are great songs. Finally, in the top 10, Sonny Fodera and Clementine Douglas grab their first ever top 10 hit with “Asking” at #10, also granting MK’s his second as a credited artist - it did surprise me how he’d only grabbed one before.

This week’s top five on the UK Singles Chart consists of two Drake songs at the tail: “IDGAF” featuring Yeat at #5 - yes, seriously, Yeat is in the top five - and “First Person Shooter” featuring J. Cole at #4. Otherwise, we have “greedy” by Tate McRae at #3, “Prada” by casso, RAYE and D-Block Europe at #2 and of course, “Strangers” at #1. Now to run through the new songs, of course finishing with Drake but starting far from it.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 - “Lil Boo Thang” - Paul Russell

Produced by Sean Cook

I am getting older. Not too quickly, and I’m still young but I am aging gradually like everyone does. I also feel like I’m getting a tad more sociable, a bit more willing to put myself out there. This song samples “Best of My Love” by the Emotions, a classic disco track that is used extensively and liberally in this new song. It peaked at #4 in 1977, and I’m not THAT old, not that being old enough to remember the hits of 1977 would make my criticism less valid or anything. Hell, this song does have some new things about it - it’s not two minutes thanks to TikTok attention spans, and he makes references to the NBA 2K games - though even those are 24 years old now. Yet despite that… I think I want to hug this guy at a wedding we’re mutual invitees of, ask him about how his life has been since I last saw him a couple years ago, and make 15-year-old in-jokes we’ve had since we went to school. Everyone has an inner middle-aged person in them, I think this song takes it out of me. It’s been bubbling up for a while and it is pure joy. The guy can barely sing but it doesn’t matter because of the fast, rap-like melodies and the delightful jazzy soundbed, as well as that undeniable groove that may be very plastic, but still gets me excited. If I heard this at an outdoor party full of those 35 and over (and sadly, their kids), I’d have to go to the back and to the front. The bridge with him interpolating the Emotions sample and the computer-esque vocoder just to tick of all the boxes is adorable too. This song is cute, it’s a jam, you young whipper-snappers just wouldn’t get it.

#60 - “TLC” - Digga D

Produced by P YouGotThat

Now we have a streak of four songs somewhere in the middle of the chart which I honestly don’t think I’ll have a lot to say about, not because they’re bad but because these are chart regular appearances just doing business as usual, and isn’t the album entries from Nines and Drake we have coming up, or a newcomer like Paul Russell, or a general oddity like a heavy rock song charting, which we will see later. It’s just business as usual, and this is especially true for Digga D. He is still on his whole late 90s-early 2000s US rap throwback style, this time directly sampling “Bumpy’s Lament” by Soul Mann & the Brothers, probably better known as the loop Dr. Dre used in “Xplosive” featuring Hittman, Six-Two, Nate Dogg and Kurupt, which appears on the iconic 2002. Whilst never released as a single, it’s a pretty iconic beat, and is still certified silver in the UK. Is it a good song? Well, not really in my opinion, at least outside of Nate Dogg, who improves every track he’s on tenfold, so maybe Digga D’s more subtle use of the sample under extra layers of horns and a particularly gross-sounding drill beat can do something more interesting with it? Yeah, not really, the hi-hats sound like fruits sticking to each other in the fridge, and Digga D is usually at least a bit more energetic than this. God, he’s actually one of the more lively UK drillers, but he says in the chorus how tired he is of fame, and it shows. This is a pretty depressing song if you consider that… well, it would be if he did anything interesting outside of that chorus which adds less potency to his flexing, sex bars and mockery of dead teenagers than I think he wants it to. This is just sad in a pathetic kind of way. At least the sample’s cool.

#59 - “Hey DJ” - Joel Corry

Produced by Joel Corry, Neave Applebaum and Punctual

Hey, Joel, I think you missed a feature credit somewhere. You may have dropped it on your way to Spotify, I believe you mean to credit Roc Star on the vocals? No? Okay, well, she’s about as faceless as she is nameless in her performance anyway, in a pretty typical Euro-trance throwback that at least has the cheesy synth builds and a pulsing Cascada-esque feel to it all, even if the washes of white noise and ambiance get a bit much since they’re not very aptly blended into the song, it just feels like the synth pads are full of flat air. In fact, flat would be a pretty apt way of describing this entire song. It’s a shame because I have a fondness for this kind of sound, yet this feels a bit too tight to work in that context, and way too unabashedly cheesy to work in any other.

#41 - “Me & U” - Tems

Produced by Guilty Beatz

Those of you who read my 2006 episode will know I am a big fan of the Cassie song of the same name, which of course isn’t sampled here, it’s just a coincidence. This is a much more chill Afrobeats single from Tems, and one thing that stands out to me at first is the opening line to the first verse: “For me to come out, it must mean I am at the door”. The continued sense of agency surrounding her relationship in the first verse and intro seems to erode in the second verse, as she makes herself a blank canvas for her lover. The sliding guitars and fluttering percussion, feeling almost manic in rhythm, really accentuates that something is deteriorating… but not necessarily in a bad way. Tems’ agency and self-consciousness dissolves not as a result of manipulation but simple comfort over hours and hours of being together with them, inferred by the constant chanting backing vocals intertwined into the beat and the really perhaps-too-repetitious lyrics. He still needs to prove himself though - she needs faith and he needs to show her some substance before she can fully be part of his “matter”. It’s a hypnotisingly cute mutual love song and of course, whilst I’d prefer a more climactic bridge or a chorus that consists of more than four words repeated ad nauseam, I completely get why the song is that way, and it kind of works for me. Not fully, but it’s close - this is good.

#39 - “You & Me” - JENNIE

Produced by Teddy Park

Oh, how I wish these two songs weren’t separated by “Calm Down” on the chart. Regardless, JENNIE may not seem like a chart regular but she is from the group BLACKPINK, of which we’ve heard solo efforts from before, with LISA, ROSÉ and JISOO all charting solo songs, and I actually liked all of them, some more than others, so I was excited to hear JENNIE’s addition to the BLACKPINK solo canon. Well, again, it’s not close to another song of this title I much prefer - this time by Disclosure - but it’s still okay. Perhaps stuck in 2019 given the vocaloid sample that provides much of the backing melody alongside the charmingly dated synths, snap percussion and JENNIE doing a bit of a Selena Gomez impression, but that’s not my least favourite era of pop, and the shimmering slide into the pre-chorus is a smooth, inspired transition that… oh, my God, they did it again. This is just like when I heard ROSÉ’s “On the Ground” - it starts off as an above-serviceable pop song before dropping into chaotic, almost industrial synths that have no reason to be there but elevate the song to really interesting territory, especially given the screech of those synths, factorial percussion and glass smashing that transforms this chorus from sounding completely sincere to either being a falsehood - kind of implied by the lyrics about not wanting to fall in love - or just grimy and sexy, and given the rap bridge about not blocking his “shots” and promising that she’ll be his last love that just looks better on her, yeah, I’m guessing it’s the second, and the bass-heavy devolution into a swinging screech not dissimilar to a bad squeak really sells it. This is a pretty damn great song, definitely not what I was expecting and whilst it won’t last, I think at least I’ll keep listening to this one.

#37 - “Toxic” - Nines featuring Bad Boy Chiller Crew

Produced by ProdByDizzy, I Don’t Rap I Dress and Babycashy1

Those have got to be some of the worst producer names I’ve seen in recent times. Anyway, UK rapper Nines released his second album of the year with Crop Circle 3 - it reached #2 on the albums chart and we have two consecutive songs from it year. This one… well, it has the Bad Boy Chiller Crew on it for some reason. This does mean that they bring their style of blissful bassline production, with that wispy pitch-shifted vocal and twinkling keys shifting over the 2-step production. It’s a jumpy, bouncing beat with some cute sound effects and popping intricacies I can appreciate. The BBCC guys are just as they always are, but they fit the beat and ride it well, with their typical laddish delivery. Nines, however, still has a single flow and takes himself too seriously, so he is completely out of place despite carrying the hook! Every time the song gains momentum leading into the chorus, you get this sloppy rendition from Nines instead of any of the BBCC fun translating from the verses. That’s not to mention his droning, off-beat verse either. “I went jail and got bigger, like when Mario jumps on the flower”. Really? You make words sound good for a living, how is that what you come up with?

#35 - “I Do” - Nines featuring Tunde and Mugzz

Produced by Show N Prove, Jacob Manson and RJ Cherry

The amount of features on this album should be telling of what purpose Nines serves in UK rap. This is also much more typical Nines fare, with the whispery ad-libs, quick trap skitter, bad vocal mixing and dull deliveries from everyone involved, especially Mugzz who has nowhere near enough character to handle a basic chorus like that. To be fair to the producers, the wiry G-funk synths are pretty unique, and to be fair to Tunde, his flow is a bit better and more energetic than the others, but I’m picking at straws. There are no surprises to be heard here.

#27 - “Normal People Things” - Lovejoy

Produced by Psylla

Indie rock band Lovejoy are back with their newest single, and it’s probably their most concise, heavy claustrophobic jam yet. The song starts with the words “panic attack” and continues to sound just like you’d expect a British panic attack to sound like, with that tedious riff rinsing its anticipation over frustrated drumming, as Mr. Wilbur Soot delivers one of his least kept-together performances so far, with anxious lyrics, odd sampling and a lower-register moan that digs him well below the ground. The chorus propells the song further into anxiety, as despite the initially cathartic riff, Soot ends up gravelly whining the “hold your breath” mantra before a rapid screeching acceleration that brings us to the… kind of cringeworthy bridge. There’s one thing I don’t like about this song and it is the distracting nature of the lyrics, which is to be expected with Lovejoy but still doesn’t work nearly as well as it did in their EP from earlier this year, not because of a lack of subtlety but because there’s less to the song’s progression here. It’s difficult to swallow when it’s further contained in a two-minute single, but it’s still not far enough to make this song not click. It’s still good, still give it a chance, but I feel they have better stuff coming soon.

#6 - “Virginia Beach” - Drake

Produced by 40 and Harley Arsenault

Drake’s latest #1 album For All the Dogs is a bloated feature chock full of corny, misogynistic lyrics, depressively murky production and song ideas so frail they have to be confined to obsessive beat switches. It’s also my favourite Drake album. Outside of being comically pathetic and largely an embrace of that gross side of Drake he’s always at least tried to put up a guise for in the past, it’s also a damn good pop-rap album with unexpected turns, infectious hooks, smooth feature performances and hard beats as well as some genuinely touching lyrical moments, at least when he wants to bring them in. I won’t talk about the album at length here because this isn’t an album review show and we don’t know what else may be coming to chart in the coming weeks from it. So I’ll keep it pretty brief for these tracks, especially since they’re all good but not particular favourites off of the record. This is the opening track, generating much of its buzz from the fizzy Frank Ocean sample off of the filtered guitars and strings that coalesce into one melodious murk quickly snapped into place by a weirdly-mixed trap skitter and Drake’s loose, desperate complaining about this girl probably half his age who he, for whatever reason, is not with anymore. He’s off the lean and refusing to treat her better, despite the fact that she already has a boyfriend at the point she’s seeing Drake. He’s a complete douchebag in full nasal whining mode until the second verse which actually does a pretty cool switch-up  by filtering the Frank sample further and introducing a looming synth as Drake continues to rap some of his corniest relationship bars yet. It’s “on sight like WWW, on site like dot com”? Sure, Aubrey.

#5 - “IDGAF” - Drake featuring Yeat

Produced by BNYX and Sebastian Shah

This is barely a Drake song. Most accurately, this is a Yeat song with a lengthy intro using warping progressive electronics wired behind a sample of trinkling pianos, beautiful sax and mystifying vocals provided by jazz band Azimuth, that has little purpose other than to be subverted as soon as Yeat comes in talking about having sex over a completely alien rage beat. Yeat’s vocals are modified beyond coherency at some points, he’s showered in ad-libs, and most importantly, he’s not Drake, who delivers a completely serviceable, one-take verse that quickly gets overshadowed by Yeat… kind of going off, in a uniquely Young Thug way, where you’re not impressed by any lyrics or flows but you are impressed by just the continued violent refusal to stop rapping. Nothing is said of any interest - of course not - but it goes hard enough, it has that extraterrestrial tone to it, and the completely incoherency of Yeat is actually quite a fascinating refresher from the track that precedes it, that being…

#4 - “First Person Shooter” - Drake featuring J. Cole

Produced by Coleman, Vinylz, Tay Keith, Boi-1da, FNZ and OZ

The two heavy-weights team up for the first time in over 10 years and of course, Cole runs away with the fantastic feature verse you always expect, rarely actually get but is never a surprise to hear. I’m far from a J. Cole fan but the man can rap, and rap he will, especially when he has something to prove, rapping about how he, Drake and Kendrick are the undisputed GOATs of their respective generation. Cole doesn’t even wait for the beat to come in, delivering some deadpan wordplay over the soul sample from Joe Washington as soon as the song starts. Drake then gives a respectful warm-up, essentially acting as Cole’s hypeman, though with an odd focus on child-related wordplay, and then over the explosive trap beat, Cole just chugs on in what feels both endless and effortless, making good use of silent moments to switch between flows, delivering punchlines honestly not that far away from Drake’s and with the increased energy the beat deserves. Of course, we then got what is now a typical Drake beat switch into an even harder Memphis rattle, as if Drake knew he got bodied and added an extra verse from himself so he’s not completely embarrassed. He holds his own pretty well though, with one of his more technically proficient and aggressive verses on the whole album, as well as stepping up his punchlines and flexes a bit thanks to Cole’s presence. It’s a rapid fire rappity-rap track so I have no expectations of it actually staying, but it is still a killer track.

Conclusion

With all that said, JENNIE gets Best of the Week for “You & Me”. Yeah, it’s not what I expected but it’s a fantastic track that really digs at what I like about K-pop whilst also just being a brilliantly constructed love song. And despite me loving that Drake album, not even “First Person Shooter” can get the Honourable Mention. Nope, that’s going to Paul Russell for “Lil Boo Thang”. Seriously. As for the worst, I mean this was a pretty good week - not even the Nines songs were that bad - so Digga D gets it handedly for “TLC” but Joel Corry grabs the Dishonourable Mention for “Hey DJ” mostly on just being lazy. Next time, we’ll see if any of this actually sticks the landing for a second. I have doubts about nearly all of it doing so but for now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Rudolph Isley, and I’ll see you next week!

[hajimine]

BETWEEN THE NOTES — SEMI EITA x GN!READER

synopsis: for as long as you can remember, you and Semi Eita have always hated each other—but a couple of tender glances and one too many bottles of beer later, you find out that maybe you were looking at it the wrong way this whole time.

genre: fluff, (kinda) enemies to lovers, musician!au, mutual pining but they’re both idiots, jealousy, etc.

warnings: alcohol + intoxication (nothing bad happens), slight suggestive themes, vulgar language, kinda fast paced?

wc: ~2.5k

to: @archivednikes happy birthday shawdy <3

special thanks to: @rintaroll for beta-ing & telling me a lil bit about how bands work and stuff bc idk shit lol :,)

“Semi, get your ass moving,” you huff. “You’re gonna make me late.”

He gives you a smug look and raises a slitted eyebrow. “Did something crawl up your ass and died? What’s up with you?”

You exhale heavily through your nose and stare at him, unimpressed.

“We gotta catch the afternoon train if you wanna reach the venue in time for our gig. This is a really good opportunity for me, don’t you dare mess it up.” you say, gathering the last of your things for the trip.

There is a tingling sensation crawling down your spine, as if someone is staring at you. You look over your shoulder curiously, opening your mouth to utter another snarky remark to get your partner to stop gawking around and get ready.

But the intensity behind his gaze caught you by surprise.

Those hazel eyes of his—ones that are usually sharp and cold—held a sort of softness in them as he looks at you. When you caught him staring, his gaze did not falter one bit.

You couldn’t stop your eyes from traveling down the perfect slope of his nose, continuing down to his pouty lips.

As much as you hate him, you can’t deny that Semi Eita is an attractive man. Heck, even the word attractive isn’t enough to express how infuriatingly hot he is.

Your gaze stays on his lips for a second too long. Have they always looked this soft and inviting?

The dry cough from the opposite side of the room is the only thing that managed to break you out of this trance. Semi Eita’s trance.

Your manager stands by the door, tapping her foot on the wooden tiles impatiently.

“Now, lovebirds,” she narrows her eyes, “Save the PDA for tonight, yeah? We’ve got a schedule to follow.”

You roll your eyes at her, cheeks uncomfortably warm. And just like that, the strange yet tender moment you shared with Semi dissipated into thin air.

。。。

You don’t know if you should take pity on the gray-haired singer or if you should laugh at him.

Currently, Semi’s head is bowed down in shame as he gets an earful from his manager in the middle of a crowded train.

You see, the four of you should’ve arrived at the venue by now. Both your managers are very strict about schedules, and they planned to arrive at the bar two hours before the agreed time.

Thankfully, his bandmates have been a little more punctual than him and have successfully boarded the 4pm train. But Mr. Popular right here just had to stop every few minutes to take pictures with every single fan he met on the way to the station.

“It’s half past five now,” his manager whisper-shouts, “Do you know what that means?”

Semi tries to give her an awkward smile to calm her down. It doesn’t work.

“It’s rush hour! What if we won’t reach the bar in time? It could ruin both your careers, do you know that?” she glares at Semi once again, but there is less bite in her voice now.

“I’m sorry,” Semi starts, plastering a charming smile on his face, “I only wanted to be nice to the fans. Wouldn’t make too good of an impression if I just ignored them, no?”

His manager sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose, exasperated. She motions for Semi to stop talking with a wave of her hand.

The singer grins, and out of the corner of your eyes, you can sense his sharp gaze on you once more.

You try to ignore it.

。。。

When your group reaches the bar, Semi’s bandmates are almost done preparing themselves for the gig.

The bar is dimly lit and cool, the multitudes of warm overhead lighting being the only source of light in the room. It’s not too busy tonight, you observe. Some people still donned their work clothes, perhaps rushing over to the bar right after a long day at work—mingling around with friends to let loose for a little and enjoy themselves.

“Dude, where were you?” Aito asks, eyebrows turned downwards in a frown.

Semi pats the guitarist on the side of his head, “Relax, we’ve got plenty of time to prepare.”

Aito rolls his eyes, completely used to his bandmate’s antics.

“Whatever,” he huffs. “By the way, are we gonna have a little after party later?”

“Uh,” Semi’s eyes flicker towards you for one second, then back to Aito, “I dunno man, might be too tired to get wasted tonight.”

The guitarist narrows his eyes. He didn’t miss the way Semi’s gaze lingered on you.

“Y/N,” Aito smirks. “You coming to the after party?”

You were listening to their conversation this whole time, finding the whole exchange quite amusing.

“Eh, I don’t see why not,” you smile sweetly, “It’s gonna be even better now that this dude isn’t coming anyways.” You pointed your thumb at the vocalist.

From where he’s standing, you hear Semi scoff.

“Y’know what?” he sneers, “On second thought, I am going. How does that make you feel, huh?”

You shrug, feigning indifference.

“I literally do not care.”

“Piss off.”

Aito throws his head back in laughter, shaking his head as he walks away from the scene, muttering about people being too clueless and dense for their own damn good.

You adjusted your equipment bag on your shoulder, exhaling loudly to try and calm your heart down.

。。。

It is in moments like these that you remember why you decided to go forth with this career path, no matter how rocky it may be.

Adrenaline courses through your veins as you sing the lyrics of you and Semi’s song; every ounce of the jittery nerves you had just a few moments ago long gone.

There’s nobody else in this world that can ever take your place

Some of the customers are listening intently, others just nodding along to the song, and the rest not even listening at all.

You could hear your heartbeat thumping loudly against your chest, the sweat trickling down your forehead and into your eyes making it harder for you to see the crowd.

And when the day’s all done and dusted, all I ever need is to be in your arms again

You whip your head towards Semi, just like the countless times you rehearsed this song together.

“It shows chemistry,” your manager had said, “play it up for the crowd, will ya?”

The butterflies in your stomach flutters about restlessly when you notice that Semi has been looking at you this whole time.

His eyes—sharp and intense—held your gaze, unabashed. Steady. Sure.

Will you stay tonight? ‘Cause baby you’re all that I need, and you’re all that I want.

And in that moment, with your eyes locked on each other, the world seems to stop.

Nothing else matters, Semi’s lopsided smile says, only you.

。。。

The performance flew by in the blink of an eye, and it’s a little past midnight now. As promised, your managers held a little after party in the shared lounge of your penthouse suite.

It’s not as fancy as it sounds, you smile to yourself. There are suspicious stains on the gray carpet, and the furniture smells vaguely of cigarette smoke and sweat.

Bottles of beers have already littered the floor and glass table, and you haven’t even started drinking.

“Duuuude,” Yuuto slurs, “Why are ya so tense for?”

The bassist points at you and Semi, eyelids drooping as he tries his best to keep them open.

“C’mon guys,” Aito clasps his shoulders and massages them roughly, “Relax a little, we did amazing tonight.”

Semi shrugs his friend’s hands away, annoyed. He snatches an unopened bottle of beer from the cooler and opens the cap with his teeth.

You gulp. He hands you the bottle wordlessly before grabbing another one for himself, chugging it down quickly. You mirror his actions, hoping that the alcohol can dull the annoying fluttering in your stomach that refuses to leave ever since the two of you shared that intimate moment on stage.

For fuck’s sake, what’s going on with me?

Your trick works, in a way. Your stomach feels pleasantly warm now, and your breathing has finally evened out. Another unopened bottle of beer lays invitingly on the couch and you reach for it, opting for a bottle opener instead of doing it like Semi.

“Bro,” Yuuto grins at the singer, drool threatening to leave the corner of his mouth, “Did’ya see that blonde chick in the front row? She was hardcore eye-fucking you dude.”

“Ah,” Semi takes another swig of his beer, a cute flush blossoming in his cheeks.

Wait, what. Cute?

“She gave me her number when we were gathering up our stuff.” He runs his hand through his hair.

“You gonna hit her up or what?” Aito teases, smirking.

The singer shrugs, “Maybe, I dunno.”

Your breath hitches, and Aito’s smirk widens. You raise your eyebrows at him, silently telling him to fuck off.

“Where’s Kai?” you hear Semi ask. Come to think of it, you haven’t seen the drummer since after the show was over.

“Oh,” the guitarist laughs, “Fucker left us for some girl he saw in the bar. Might see him tomorrow morning, might not. Who knows?”

The vocalist hums and walks over to where you’re sitting, plopping down on the old couch.

“The managers?” Semi casually drapes his arm on the back of the sofa. You feel yourself tensing as your heart races uncontrollably, and the singer looks over at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

Aito scratches the back of his neck, quickly losing interest in the conversation.

“They decided to sleep in early. Long day, I guess.”

Semi nods and rests his head on the top of the couch, exposing his defined jawline. His eyelashes look so pretty from this angle, they’re long and fluttery and they almost…

Huh?

“Eita, are you gonna hit that blonde girl up or nah?” Aito provokes, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You clench your teeth and reach for yet another bottle—your fourth one this past hour. Or fifth. You don’t bother counting. Semi looks over at you again, but this time his eyes holds a sort of concern in them. You scoff to yourself.

“Uh,” the singer looks at his friend weirdly, “Why are you so insistent on this? I did say maybe didn’t I?”

Aito laughs. You almost recoil in disgust.

“Oh nothing,” he chuckles, “It’s just that she’s really hot and she’s your type so—”

You stand up abruptly, knocking over some empty beer bottles by accident. The regret is immediate. You can feel the acid in your stomach traveling up your esophagus, tickling the back of your throat.

Semi quickly stands up when you clasp a hand over your mouth, trying your best to hold it together.

“Shit,” he mutters, “You okay?”

He rubs tiny circles on the small of your back, an action that’s supposed to be soothing but instead causes tingles to run up and down your spine. You shiver.

Another wave of nausea hits before you could respond, causing your knees to almost give out under you.

“Whoa there, angel,” Semi wraps his arm around your waist, holding you flush to his side to support your weight.

You groan softly as your head spins uncomfortably. Droplets of cold sweat is starting to form on your forehead, adding another layer of discomfort upon you.

“You wanna go to your bedroom?” Semi murmurs close to your ear. You shiver again. At this, Semi thought that you’re freezing so he drapes his leather jacket on your shoulders, holding you close.

You nod weakly as you try to blink the black spots in your vision away.

From somewhere around the room, you hear Aito snicker, “Stay safe!”

You turn your head around to give him a deathly glare, but all you see is a big blob of blurriness.

Dammit.

。。。

Semi takes the key card from your bag and pushes the door open, placing your duffel bag on the floor after

He guides you to the bathroom—with gentleness you rarely see from him—and sets the toilet cover down so you can sit on it while he wets a towel with the running tap water.

“You still feel dizzy?” he asks, voice soft.

You stare at his fingers as he wrings the towel and shakes your head.

Semi holds out the cloth and pats your forehead with it, the coolness allowing you to feel a little more refreshed.

“Do you want me to make you some tea?” he wipes the back of your neck carefully.

Shit. Has he always been this thoughtful?

You shake your head again, telling him that you just want to go to sleep.

He sighs and gives you a half-smile, holding out his arm to help you to the bed.

Semi still has it in him to give you a little but of privacy as you wiggle out of your tight jeans, looking away until you slip under the covers.

He helps you pull the plush white comforter closer to your chest, tucking you in.

Your mind doesn’t feel as hazy as it was a few hours ago, but the leftover alcohol coursing through your veins gave you a sort of boost to your impulses.

“Eita,” you whisper, reaching out towards the singer, “Stay?”

The singer halts in his steps and turns to look at you.

“Uh, I don’t know Y/N,” he starts, “You’re drunk right now.”

“No I’m not,” you say, steady voice proving your point. “Please?”

Semi glances over at the door and sighs. He chewed on his lower lip for a few seconds before sighing again.

“Okay.”

。。。

You’re struggling to open your eyes when you wake up, the harsh sunlight streaming into the room completely unfiltered.

Drunk you completely forgot to close the blinds, it seems.

You groan audibly, wanting to pull the covers above your head to hide yourself from this cruel world.

You freeze. Why can you feel someone’s soft breaths on the crown of your head?

Nervously, you reach out in front of you, eyes still shut closed. Oh no.

You force your eyes open, grimacing from the sudden brightness. Your eyes widen at the sight in front of you. Semi Eita, your supposed nemesis, is sleeping soundly a few inches away from you, arms wrapped around your waist.

What the hell happened last night?

A small squeak leaves your mouth as you fully realize the situation you’re in. The small noise wakes Semi up from his slumber, causing him to slowly open his eyes, squinting at the bright light.

“Morning, angel,” he croaks, voice raspy with sleep.

My god does he look pretty in the morning.

You stay there, frozen and unblinking. All the words at the tip of your tongue seem to disappear from existence.

Semi blinks, sitting up quickly.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he rubs his eyes vigorously, “I should’ve said no when you asked me to stay. Fuck, you were drunk and I—”

You grab the back of his neck and pull him closer to you, a small smile gracing your lips.

Your thumb grazes Semi’s bottom lip, dragging it down every so slightly before releasing it, enjoying the way he seems to unravel under your touch.

“Shut up and kiss me, will you?” you murmur, trying to keep your cool as your heart hammers against your chest loudly.

At this, Semi breaks out of his reverie and laughs, “I thought you’d never ask.”

a/n: if you’ve made it this far, please feel free to let me know what you think about this fic! and please REBLOG IF YOU ENJOYED mwah <3

© HAJIMINE — all rights reserved. please do not repost, copy, or claim any of my works as your own, thank you.

[hansolmates]

the proposal (m)

banner done by the ammmahhzzing @eerieedits​

summary; Jeon’s the editor-in-chief for Big Hit Publishings, a closet romantic with a penchant for antagonizing his assistant on the reg. When his work visa is in the process of being renewed and he takes a trip to Norway, his eligibility to stay in America is on the line. However Jeon Jungkook doesn’t go without a fight, and in order to save his job he offers you a proposal you can't refuse. pairing; editor!Jungkook x assistant!reader (f) genre/warnings; the proposal!au, fake marriage au, enemies to friends(!!!), friends to lovers, bouts of flangst, dry humping, slight blood but not too bad, lang, alcohol, poor jjk discovers he has the ability to feel emotion, poor y/n is in the middle as always w.c; 20.1k of endless banter and koo hiding his romantic side a/n; yeah, it’s almost summer. But i think we need a lil holiday magic in our lives! I rewatched the proposal this weekend and whipped this up. Why is koo so gosh darn easy to write? This is my longest fic since i wrote maze runner back in 2014!! i rec this extension to get fully immersed in 2pov! Enjoy and pls tell me if there’s any errors im too poopied to proofread it again drabbles; 01

“When I hired you, you basically signed a contract that said you’d do anything for me.” 

“Yeah, Jeon. I did. That meant like, getting you coffee or working late hours—normal work stipulations,” you can feel the hair on your scalp growing thinner, “not commit fucking fraud!” 

Your boss looks moreso frustrated than you are, but you cease to care. Jeon Jungkook has been nothing but a thorn in your side since your employment at Big Hit Publishing two years ago. Being a budding author who wanted to graduate from online sites and freelancing, you accepted the job as the editor-in-chief’s assistant in the hopes of getting your first book published. 

However, your dreams of being an editor are quickly dissipating, especially when Jungkook corners you this afternoon and announces that he may have left America during the time his work visa was still processing. He may have to give over his editor-in-chief position because there’s no way he can get a work visa processed in time. As a result of this information, he may have told his supervisors that you seduced him on a late night one year ago, and you two fell in love and have been secretly engaged ever since. 

Because y’know, your citizenship to this country is an asset to the company. 

“We didn’t have to go to Norway to PR Emma Watson’s autobio,” you huff, fingers going pale from how hard you were gripping your iPad. Jungkook is an esteemed workaholic, and you have no idea where it stems from. You remember that trip to Oslo, Jungkook insisting that you and him both go to make sure everything goes smoothly.

“You weren’t complaining when we went to that restaurant with the open bar.” he runs a hand through his coiffed hair, making the pomade untack from its style. “You got so drunk that Emma held you while you cried about global warming.” 

Wholly unamused, you frown. “Jungkook, can you please take this seriously?”

“I’m taking this seriously, you’re not the one who’s about to be deported in two weeks!” Jungkook hisses, face dangerously close to yours. Not that anyone would know what he’s saying, but you can tell from his defenses that he genuinely is nervous. 

“You wouldn’t be deported if you had just set an earlier appointment to renew your Visa!” 

“I wouldn’t be deported if you had just set an earlier appointment to renew my Visa!” 

At least twenty pairs of eyes are watching your confrontation, probably making their own conclusions as to what you two were fighting about again. Curse this office for having full-walled windows, you often feel like an ant in a plastic farm. Your work relationship is an anomaly to the rest of the staff. Before you started working at Big Hit, Jungkook’s assistants did not last long. Within the first week of working, you understood why. 

Jungkook whirls around his desk, glaring at the glass doors as he puts himself between the staff and you. “If you don’t marry me,” he says lowly, close enough for his hot breath to fan your face, coupled with his fresh-scented cologne. It annoys you how good he smells. “You’ll also be replaced because they want to give the my position to fuckin’ Karen of all people,” you fight the twitch of your lips. The only thing you two mutually agreed upon is the hatred of his co-editor, Karen. “All of the late nights we’ve worked together, the gallons of coffees you consumed, putting up with my shit, your dreams of becoming an author,” his eyes flicker to the way the grip in your iPad trembles, “will go down the drain and turn to shit. Whether you like it or not, we’re in this together.” 

Pretending to be unfazed, you bat your lashes, “So are you saying, you need me?” 

“For fuck’s sake—”

“Ah-ah, Jungkook. I’m not going to ask you to get on one knee, but you should at least tell me how much you need me.” 

You assume with great confidence that the only reason you’re kept on Jungkook’s payroll is because you’re not afraid to stand up to Jungkook’s bullshit. He looks positively disgusted at the mere thought of paying you an iota of a compliment. You’d say on average, you get half a compliment a month from Jungkook. You say half because he’ll compliment you, then downplay it with whatever flaw he can fabricate to get under your skin. 

He loosens his lavender paisley tie, annoyed. “Fine. I need you. I need you because you’re the only one who knows me well enough to be my wife. You’re the only woman I’ve had full conversations with in two years and knows all my dietary restrictions, favorite books, foods, and hobbies. By process of elimination, you are my best candidate.” 

“Romantic,” you roll your eyes, “I guess I do,” you push him away with a finger to his chest, “but I want a raise. And after we finish Sorn and Mark’s project, I want you to read my novel.” 

“Done and done.” 

“Well Jeon, I guess you’ve wifed me up with your ways of seduction.” you muse sardonically, feeling more upset for yourself than anything. 

“Fantastic,” he sighs, finally throwing his tie across the desk and plopping in his armchair. “Cancel the call with Janet, call PR about Irene Kim’s interview on Ellen, and order me a medium rare steak from J.J. Bittings with a side of brussels.” 

“Right,” you mutter under your breath as you pull up your checklist, as if you didn’t just give away your life to the Devil incarnate. 

Jungkook’s back is already facing you, focusing on his computer displaying two new manuscripts. “Oh, and on your way to J’s don’t forget to pick up your ring at Saks.”

“Bitch, you’re asking me to pick up my fake wedding ring?” 

Unbothered, he shrugs. You see the planes of his shoulders stretch beneath the blazer, because he’s deemed this conversation long over and he has work to do. “Yeah, but it’s real diamonds.” 

You’ve been seeing red for days. 

While the rock on your ring finger is indeed beautiful because Jungkook has impeccable taste, it drags you down and arouses the elephant in the room everytime you show up for work. 

You get enough stares on the daily, and you were just getting used to the looks of pity and sympathy for working under Jungkook, but now there are only snickers and playful winks as you trudge down the cubicles every morning. Everyday feels like the runway at a shitshow, and you are the headliner. 

Taehyung clapped you none-too-hard on the back when you showed up to work the next morning, congratulating you on the engagement. “Can’t believe you’re fuckin’ the big boss!” 

The rest of the staff poke their eyes out of their cubicles like Digletts, and you shush them, using your hand to make them sink down. 

Coffee is spilling down your shirt thanks to him, and you reach for tissues in his cubicle. “Can you not say it like that, please?” 

“Oh, come on. I heard from the supervisors Jungkook went on about how you seduced him late at night and took charge,” Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows approvingly, and you fight the urge to not throw up your coffee in his face. “How do you keep it so professional? Or do you save all that pent-up energy for after hours?” 

“You disgust me,” you grimace, stepping out of his cubicle and immediately regret wasting your five-minute break conversing with the typist.

Striding back into Jungkook’s office, he doesn’t hesitate to rattle off the next items on today’s agenda. He barely looks at you when you stride in, too focused on whatever corrections he’s slashing in red ink. 

“Did you get Taemin’s second draft?” 

“No, and I told him that if he can’t get me the draft by tonight he won’t get a publishing deadline and the number of copies published will be decreased by a third.” 

“And Taehyung’s author agreed to our stipulations?” 

“Of course, she’d be dead not to.”  you mutter, “she’s a nineteen year old Influencer, what would she know?” 

“Exactly, that’s why we milk it out as long as we can.” Jungkook throws the first draft in a large, intimidating pile, mixing in with all the others like a needle in a haystack. “Which is why it’s important we snag dinner with her this weekend, we can really—”

“What, this weekend?” your sense of equilibrium cracks, and you walk forward to put his hands on his desk. “I took this coming week off for Christmas. I’ve planned this for months.” 

“I know.”

“I can’t just cancel my flight! I saved up for that!”

“And?” Jungkook brushes off your fury like a piece of lint, “I’m Korean. Christmas is a fake holiday for me.” 

“You can’t just tell me I can’t go home to my family, it’s the fucking holidays!” 

“Why not, I’ve done it before. Remember on Valentine’s day when I told you the only date you have is a date with Kwon Boa’s publicist? Or on Secretaries Day when I argued that you don’t feel appreciated by society anyway and therefore why bother taking one extra day off? Or during Easter when your family screamed in my office on speakerphone that you should quit—”

“Okay,” no need to be reminded of how much you’ve wasted your life for this man, “but this is different. I’ve already bought plane tickets and this holiday is special. It’s a whole family reunion in the Poconos and we’ve reserved over five houses to fit all of us! I can’t just ditch!” 

“But I need you!” he replied just as hotly, in a tone that reminded you so many times of how tethered you are by this man. Two years have gone by, and the only thing that kept those strings together is the constant ache in getting your first novel published. “With all the marriage stuff and stupid extentions we had to make on these writers there’s no way we can get everything done before winter ends!” 

“You’ve done it before, why can’t you just ask Taehyung to assist—”

“Trouble in paradise?” 

A chill travels up your spine, and you and Jungkook exchange panicked eye contact. A tiny, pretty blonde lady struts in the room like it's hers, plopping a fruit basket atop Jungkook’s manuscripts. 

“If by paradise you mean our relationship, then no.” Jungkook’s the first to recover, meeting you at your side and stretching an arm around your waist. “I’d say work-wise things are getting a little rough, but nothing we can’t handle. We’re a team, after all.” 

“I just wanted to stop by as I was in the neighborhood,” the woman says, making herself comfortable in a leather seat reserved for guests. “Congratulations again on your engagement.” 

You tack on a smile, squeezing Jungkook’s arm a little too hard, but it’s enough to make the lady in front of you smile back. “What brings you here, Taeyeon?” 

Kim Taeyeon is Jungkook’s immigration liaison, AKA the person responsible for making sure you’re not breaking the law. She’s a pretty thing, with eyes sharp but a smile that’s soft and deceiving. 

“It’s just a shame you two have to rush a civil wedding,” Taeyeon sighs, looking at the window overlooking the city. 

“Ah, it takes some of the planning stress off my back, really.” you force a laugh, tugging Jungkook to sit on the couch opposite her. “At least one thing is done. The thought of planning a whole wedding with over two-hundred people is so stressful.” 

You weren’t really going to have a white wedding with Jungkook (however you may have entertained the thought, which is reflected in your Google search history) but you had to keep up the ruse that you were. A civil wedding in two weeks, then a quickie divorce a year later. 

“I know! My wedding was a real mess let me tell you, straight out of a movie!” Taeyeon is certainly the type of person to make you feel at ease, so at ease that it’s simple for you to melt your front. “But besides the point, are you two doing anything special for the holidays?” 

“Ah, well I bought a flight to meet my family in the Poconos,” you start, trying not to succumb to your nervous habit of wringing your fingers. You grab Jungkook’s hand as a reprieve. 

“And you’re not going?” Taeyeon’s gaze snaps, yes snaps, to Jungkook. 

You try to step in, realizing your flaw. “We’ve just been so swamped with work, all the immigration stuff and with these book delays Jungkook suggested he stay behind—” 

“But we’ve decided to prioritize our personal life and enjoy Christmas with our family,” Jungkook swoops in, threading his fingers between yours. He flashes Taeyeon a smile, and from the way his face lights up and his nose crinkles, you could’ve mistaken it to be genuine. “I’ve never experienced a big family Christmas, y’know. I’ve missed snowboarding too, I used to do it a lot in highschool.” 

“Oh, that’s just so sweet!” Taeyeon cooes, clasping her hands together. “Do send some pictures when you come back!” 

“Of course,” Jungkook stands up and attempts to leave Taeyeon out. You follow in tow, She obliges easily, mentioning something about just wanting to check in and she also has work to do. 

“Also,” Taeyeon’s head flickers to the people sitting outside Jungkook’s office. “You should manage those workers out there,” she looks at you, sympathetic. “Apparently, they didn’t peg you as the type of person to sleep their way to the top. And that’s just what I heard from walking down the hall once!” she laughs, tinkling brighter than a windchime, but you just tighten the grip on Jungkook’s palm. “Such a childish assumption. Things can be much more complicated.” 

She tips a “happy holidays” off her shoulder, and you both are smiling like the loving couple you are. As soon as the elevator doors close and Taeyeon is really gone, Jungkook moves to let go of your hand, but you hold him in your grasp. 

“She’s onto us,” you snap, tugging him closer to you so your co-workers wouldn’t read your lips. 

“Don’t you think I know that?” he bites back. He looks offendingly at the fruit basket adorning his desk. 

“What if we get caught, Jungkook?” you start to spiral, feeling your deepest fears crawl to the forefront of your brain. You’ve done extensive Google research on commiting fraud, and if you do get caught, Jungkook will never be able to come back to this country and you’ll have a fine of up to $250,000. Your boss doesn’t pay you nearly enough to get by with that kind of debt. “We’ll ruin this company, and our lives, and any hope of being published or credible.” 

“Hey, relax,” Jungkook whispers in your ear, the tone oddly comforting. He pulls you into his arms, and you barely have a chance to recover when he squeezes you extra tight around your waist. Jungkook only ever hugs you when doing PR, and even then it’s an awkward half-hug. Hell, he never hugged you on your birthday. “This is what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna book my flight to the Poconos, bring some manuscripts so we can work remotely, and no one will ever know.” 

You sigh into his arms, nodding tiredly. It feels nice to be hugged like this. His arms are strong and warm, and you feel small and protected. It’s been a while since you’ve felt like that. Maybe Jungkook did have a heart under all that muscle. 

“I’m putting up a good show, aren’t I?” he says, and you feel your heart drop just a little. Disappointed, but not surprised. 

From your view facing the cubicles, you see at least half the employees comically bugged with  heart eyes at you, enamored by your fake relationship. 

“Do not stretch your long-ass legs on this plane, Jeon,” you nudge your smaller leg away from your section of leg room, “Jesus, we’re flying economy!” 

It scares you how little you fought against Jungkook joining you for the winter holiday. It is the logical decision after all, Taeyeon is on your trail about your sudden engagement and you both needed to keep up the ruse. That includes going on family vacations. Also, the fact that Jungkook works through Christmas because he doesn’t celebrate it does make you feel a little bad. You can’t remember the last time the man took a vacation. 

The man in question barely moves at your weak attempt, and stretches his leg even further across your seat. “Sorry, babe,” he says, fishing around his seat for the included blanket. 

“It’s fine, Kookie.” You reply sweetly, and decide to kick off your shoes to drape a leg over Jungkook’s thighs, “you’re like a portable footrest!” 

He looks absolutely insulted at your objectification, but smartly decides to choose his battles and lets you keep your position. Tucking himself in with a scratchy blanket he waves you off, “Whatever, just wake me up when we arrive.” 

“What, no.” you pull up your iPad, shoving the note entry in his face. “I know everything about you, and yet you know nothing about me. I made this easy on you and just wrote everything down. You just have to read it.” 

“Seriously? I’ve known you for over two years, I’m sure I know enough about you.” 

“Really, then how do I like my coffee?” 

“Uh… hot?” 

You give him a look and he knows. With a sigh he grabs the iPad from your hands. Within seconds he’s giving you another dirty look, as if he’s skimming a conspiracy novel. 

“You know all this random shit about me?” Jungkook asks, scrolling down as to what feels like your life story. 

“Yes, because unlike you, I listen when you talk.” 

“Fine. What’s my favorite type of weather?” 

“A warm and sunny day, which correlates to your favorite kind of date which is walking along the beach at sunset. Cliché much?” 

“Okay, rude. Who’s my favorite artist?” 

“You like a little bit of everything, but since seventh grade you’ve been pining for IU. In the office, you like to sing along to Lauv and Hozier.” 

“Favorite movie?” 

“The Marvel Series. But you really like 5 Centimeters Per Second, you like the romance.” 

“And how do you know my favorite anime movie is 5 Centimeters Per Second? I’m pretty sure I’ve never told you that.” 

“Jeon, when we were promoting Momo Hirai’s self-help book at Anime Expo you were gone for two and a half hours at 1:50 sharp.” your boss’ Adam’s apple bobs and he swallows thickly at your admonition. “And low and behold, you gave yourself thirty minutes’ time to line up early because when I checked the schedule Makoto Shinkai had a panel on ‘The Otaku’s Perspective on Romantic—”

“Alright alright, I get it.” Jungkook slumps in his seat, as comfy as it can get with your legs draped around him and a seat at the far end of the plane. You know he’s trying to hide a blush, and you feel proud for making him a little flustered. “You’re lucky I’m a fast reader.” 

The plane ride goes relatively fast, with Jungkook asking quick questions about your family and other random things. It’s like playing a game of 20 Questions, instead it’s the final boss battle with 200 questions and if he doesn’t get them all right, the penalty is deportation. 

When you land, you’re both stiff and glazed over. Once you exit the terminal, Jungkook ditches you for the bathroom and says he’ll meet you at the luggage pickup. You give yourself a few moments, gearing yourself up for the long week ahead of you. At the luggage pickup, you see a tall man watch the revolving conveyor belt with interest. Either that, or he’s zoning out. 

“Joonie!” you cry, nearly dropping your phone upon seeing your big brother. He’s dressed comfortably in a grey sweat ensemble, as if he rolled out of bed and came straight to the airport. 

A bright grin takes over his face, and he doesn’t hesitate to smush your body against his. Under his tall frame you sway, your toes barely swiping the ground. “You’re alive!” he cheers, pulling back and holding your shoulders to get a real look at you. “I can see you’ve gained a little weight, eyes are a little dark, but I’m glad the Devil let you go. I still can’t forgive him for making you skip out on Jin’s wedding.” 

You don’t appreciate the way that Namjoon picks and prods at your exhaustion, but you know he means well. While he does not know your boss by face and name, he had enough artilerary from the billions of phone calls to learn about the Devil and the havoc he’s wreaked upon your life.

When you don’t respond he gets the cue that you do not want to talk about work this week, and he smacks his lips together. “But nothing a little R&R can’t fix! The ski resort nearby has a really nice outdoor jacuzzi and we could set an appointment for facials if you’d like. Or we could do absolutely nothing and turn into baked potatoes and watch movies until our eyes burn up.” 

“Both would be great,” you smile softly, catching two familiar suitcases make their rounds on your flight’s conveyor belt. You grab your pink luggage with one hand, and Jungkook’s black chrome one with your other. 

“So, where’s the new beau?” Namjoon rocks back and forth on his heels, hoping to get a glimpse of the mystery boy you mentioned you’d be bringing as of two days ago. 

“He really had to go to the bathroom,” you squint your eyes to make out the newcomers exiting the dropoff area. “Oh, there he is. Kook!” 

Like a goddamn model, he struts in your field of vision like nobody’s business. Unlike you who stayed in your apartment all day before leaving, Jungkook decided to spend a few hours at Big Hit in the morning to tie up most of the loose ends before your trip. He’s talking to what you assume to be is a client, noting the way his brow furrows as he clutches his phone with a tight hold. He’s changed out of his tie and leather oxfords, but he’s dressed crisply in a dark button up and blazer ensemble, still wholly overdressed for a family reunion. 

Namjoon starts behind you, “He looks...” 

“Handsome?” you goad, elbowing him, “Charismatic? Undeniable presence?” 

“Hard.” 

You don’t know what to make of that adjective, and you subtly shrink further in your jacket as you mull over the implications of his word choice. 

Jungkook steps up to the two of you, ending his call. His eyes float between you and your brother, and he manages to put two and two together. “Hey man,” Jungkook gives a practiced smile, extending a hand. “I’m Jungkook, I’ve heard lots of things about you.” 

“Good things, I hope.” Namjoon chuckles, returning the handshake. “I’ve heard absolutely nothing about you, though. Can’t wait to get to know you this week.” 

“Looking forward to it,” Jungkook takes his luggage and Namjoon grabs yours, leading you two out to his minivan. While Namjoon is preoccupied with getting the car started, Jungkook looks at you as if he’s already regretting making the trip down. “This girl has two braincells to her name. I just got off the phone with Sorn’s publicist.” 

“What trouble can an influencer do?” you reply in disbelief. 

“Exactly, influencing is the trouble,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “she did some mukbang and now she’s in the hospital for food poisoning.” 

“Ah, don’t get too worked up,” you help him lug your suitcases in the trunk. You spot Namjoon subtly eyeing you two from the rear mirror. Pressing a thumb between his brows, you make work to melt away the 11-shaped stress lines on his forehead. “Let’s just send her a Lush gift basket and she’ll be fine.” 

You ignore the way Jungkook’s gaze lingers on you longer than needed, running over to your seat at shotgun. 

The inside of his car smells like bergamot and lemon, and the sweet, vulnerable side of you wants to cry over how much you’ve missed your brother’s scent. It’s been way too long. 

Once you’re all safely in the car and driving Namjoon says, “So, are you going to hide the engagement ring or give the family a collective heart attack?” 

You tense, hands automatically floating to the teardrop diamond weighing heavily on your ring finger. The story that you two contrived about your relationship isn’t too complicated, but complex enough that it seems convincing. Instead of being your boss, Jungkook is your Literary Agent who gives you referrals to new and upcoming authors. You working closely together and bonding over the stresses of the publishing world, have kept a secret relationship under wraps for over a year to avoid any unprofessionalism or favoritism. 

“I was thinking about that the whole ride, actually,” you twirl the metal back and forth, watching it gleam in the light. “Mom and dad know, but I don’t wanna lie to the rest of my family. They’ll freak out because it’s the first time they’re meeting Kook and we’re already engaged. It’s just a location thing, y’know. You guys don’t live in the city so we’ve never had a chance to really talk it out.” 

Namjoon snorts, “Or, because your boss never gives you a break.” 

If Jungkook finds any offense, he doesn’t show it. Putting what should be a comforting hand on your shoulder, he says from the back seat, “I already told you babe, do what makes you comfortable. But I don’t want to lie to your parents early on, you don’t wanna make the situation any more complicated.” 

In other words, you better tell them about our engagement because Taeyeon could be hiding in the bushes waiting to catch us. 

“Smart man,” Namjoon says shortly, but you can’t tell whether it’s a compliment or not. 

“Yeah,” you exhale, turning to smile stiffly at Jungkook, “no use hiding the inevitable, right?” 

The next couple hours are overwhelming. There’s a party right when you walk in your winter villa, your parents throwing you a reunion party (not for your family, but for you specifically because you’ve been MIA since Big Hit) with the house filled to the brim with family members. Within seconds your favorite cousin checks out the rock on your finger and screams that you’re engaged. 

Everyone must be so high off the fact that you’ve made it to a family event that they’re elated you have a life outside of work. Jungkook is treated like a prince, charming the hell out of all your aunties and baby cousins. 

“Oh, pumpkin!” your auntie squeals, linking arms with you while you’re trying to eat your dinner, “I just hugged your fiancé, and he has abs! Lucky you!” 

“Auntie,” you hiss playfully, “you hugged him that tight?” 

“He’s part of the family, isn’t he?” 

“Right,” you force a smile, downing your glass of champagne. The bubbles burn your throat pleasantly. 

“Babe, can you come here for a second?” Jungkook manages to swim his way through the throng in the living room, holding out a hand for you, “your mom said that our room is ready, care to lead the way?” 

His smile, as pretty as you can care to admit, renders your aunt speechless, and she lets him whisk you away to a long hallway that leads to a set of bedrooms. Jungkook lets go of your hand as soon as you're alone, letting his palm run along the pictures that decorate your hallway. 

He stops at a picture of you and Namjoon as kids, faces tanned and lips cherry red from your twin popsicles melting on your hands. “Wow,” Jungkook pretends to be alarmed, “I didn’t know you used to be cute, what happened?” 

“Shut up,” you smack his hand away, walking ahead of him. 

“I thought you guys reserved a bunch of houses, why does the furniture look worn and there’s pictures of you everywhere?” 

“Our extended family has reserved houses, but this is actually my family’s vacation home. I used to go here every winter and summer break,” you reach a bedroom in the corner of the hall, smiling at your wooden name tag hanging on the front, “this is my old room.” 

It certainly doesn’t have that youthful charm it once had, but there are still bits of your childhood scattering the room. There’s ticket stubs and photobooth strips tacked to a corkboard near your desk. Books that you would reread cover to cover are organized proudly on your shelf, worn for wear. 

Jungkook groans in relief, plopping his body down on your freshly made bed. “Your family’s really clingy.” he sighs, throwing an arm over his eyes. 

You turn to give him a snappy answer, but it dies in your throat when you see what he’s laying on. The familiar family quilt sinks under Jungkook’s weight, mocking you. You shriek, throwing your arms over to lug his body to the other side of the bed. Bundling up the quilt in your arms, you glare at a very appalled Jungkook. 

“The hell is wrong with you, woman!” he cries, not loud enough to escape the room, but enough to have your body vibrate in annoyance. 

“Jeon, they put the fucking baby blanket in my room,” you mutter more to yourself than him, folding it under your arms. 

The blanket is comfy in your grasp and you’re sure it’s clean, but the fact that you weren’t actually married and in love made its appearance a whole lot worse. 

“So?” his eyes are wide in confusion, “my mom still has my baby blanket too, I’m not gonna shoot anyone because of it.” 

“It’s not my baby blanket,” you admonish, “it’s the baby maker blanket. A weird family tradition when someone gets engaged.”

“Which means?” 

“They’re expecting us to fuck and have children.” 

The thought of procreating and starting a family with you must’ve caused all the champagne to return to his throat, and he looks a little pale. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” he lies back down on your mattress, and you leave him be so you can chuck the blanket back in your parents’ room. 

You’re barely out the door when a young man is waiting out in the hallway for you, poised to knock. “Hey, baby girl.” they throw you an easy lopsided grin, opening their arms to you. 

In your haste, you slam your bedroom door a little too loudly. “Yoongi!” You let yourself sink into his waiting arms, reveling in the familiar embrace you missed so much. Yoongi is Namjoon’s best friend and work buddy, not to mention the man you’ve had a crush on since you were able to walk. While you can safely say at this moment there is nothing serious going on, a small part of you always wishes there could be. 

His voice husks in your ear, “Why are we hugging in between the baby blanket?” 

“Oh!” you brush past him, opening the door to your parents’ room and flinging the offending item as far into their room as possible. “Sorry, Jungkook and I were a little freaked out when we saw it. We’re definitely not thinking about children right now.” 

“Jungkook,” he hums, and your smile falters just a tad when you see the way Yoongi tips his head down in thought, “It was quite the news. Congrats though.” 

You want to say what you’re supposed to say, that yes, you should be happy. But the selfish part of you does not want this exchange between you and Yoongi to be happening. When you get your quickie divorce in a year, the small, hopeful part of you hopes you and Yoongi could be something. 

Before you have a chance to fabricate a response, strong hands encircle your waist, and you feel Jungkook’s chin digging into your shoulder. 

“Thanks, man,” Jungkook’s voice rumbles, “we really appreciate it.” 

Yoongi gives a nod, muttering something about catching up later before he walks back to the party. 

It’s then that Jungkook’s weight feels impossibly heavy on your shoulders. “You know, you’ve been doing a really shitty job of being my wife-to-be ever since we landed,” Jungkook whispers, feather soft lips dusting across the shell of your ear. It’s an act so intimate you can imagine your family passing down the hallway could be mistaking you two for speaking unthinkable acts. A toddler cousin spots you two and giggles, babbling something to your uncle about how you’re hugging. “You did so well when we were with Taeyeon and Big Hit.” 

“It’s not the same when I’m lying to my family,” you turn to face him, equally simmering. “These are people that actually love and care for me, unlike you.” 

“At least I care about what’s most important,” he grits back, “our jobs, our futures. Is that not enough for you to keep it in your pants?” 

“Excuse me? You don’t even know him!” 

“I don’t have to know him because I’m holding you right now and you’re practically sweating through your cardigan.” he grimaces, digging his chin further into your collarbone, literally trying to get under your skin. “Your face looks like a cherry tomato.” 

You turn your head to bite back, your noses touching. The staring contest seems to last for days. Unlike Jungkook who doesn't know how to register basic human emotion, you still have hopes for a life after this. Before you have a chance to answer, your favorite cousin enters the hallway, oblivious to your concerns. Jimin’s red all over, passing you two flutes of blush champagne. “Hurry up, we’re making speeches!” 

Champagne is overflowing like Niagara, and you and Jungkook are the reason for it as you’re thrusted into the living room. Your weird uncle is in the middle of a long-winded speech about his fishing business and how dreams are made from ‘bait and a dream’. You make eye contact with him, and he gestures wildly to you and Jungkook. 

The crowd proceeds to go wild, echoes of speech! Speech! Reverberating throughout your living room. You and Jungkook share uneasy smiles, unsure of where to go with this show. 

Deciding it’s your family by blood, you start first. “Honestly, when I moved to New York I wasn’t expecting to feel so lonely,” you clutch your flute with both hands, swirling your drink absentmindedly. You then turn to Jungkook, giving him a tender smile which he returns back just as fondly. “Until I met Jungkook. I’m really happy that I get to share this week with the people I love the most, so let's drink to family!” 

Jungkook lifts his glass, “Thank you for the warm welcome, I can’t wait to spend time with all of you. This is my first Christmas with a large, loving family. Cheers to that!” 

The room erupts in cheers, allowing themselves to clink glasses and chase down their respective drinks. Even the little ones crowding the kiddie table in the back are enjoying their apple juice while making silly faces at the new couple. 

Jungkook weaves his arm between yours, and you get the signal to do a couples’ drink. He eyes you with mischief, as if to say we did it. After you two take your drink, Jimin’s the first to drunkenly yell, “Ohmygod just kiss already!” 

“Kiss kiss kiss!” 

“This is going on my story so make it good!” 

“Kiss him before I do!” 

“Oh my god,” you groan, throwing your forehead on Jungkook’s chest. Your family really is something else. 

As if the chants can’t get any louder, it’s hard to focus on anything but Jungkook’s presence. Jungkook lifts your chin up, murmuring, “Let’s give the people what they want.” and he presses his lips to yours. 

It’s awkward at first. Why wouldn’t it be, you’re making out with your boss, in front of your family, pretending to be engaged. But Jungkook doesn’t let up, parting your lips slightly to deepen the kiss. As much as you want to make up how terrible and disgusting kissing Jungkook is, it really isn’t. His lips are soft and he tastes like the peach champagne, and his grip on your waist is strong and warm. 

He leaves you breathless when you pull away, a smirk on his lips for a brief moment before he turns shyly to your family who are probably foaming at the mouth now. 

Maybe it’s the champagne coursing through your veins, but why does it suddenly feel so hot in the middle of winter? 

The first day back starts off wholly uneventful, with Jungkook working on some manuscripts and you preparing dinner with Jimin. Most of your family is on the resort hitting the slopes, so you’re quite thankful for the reprieve since the party was so overwhelming. The blonde is all smiles as he bumps the oven closed with his leg, letting your lasagna bake to perfection. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” Jimin rests his head on your shoulder, “it’s definitely not the same when we’re adults. Frankly, it sucks balls.” 

“Big balls,” you agree, gnawing on a leftover baguette from last night. 

“Speaking of big balls,” Jimin wiggles his brows as you attempt to move farther from him.

“Please don’t say it.” 

“C’mon! Just tell me if the sex is good!” 

“No!” you cry, flicking your crumbs at him. 

“I will open this oven,” his hands are already on the handle, “and your dish will undercook.” 

“Don’t you dare!” he opens the oven a tad, and you slam your hand down. “Fine! The sex is fantastic, happy?” 

“Ewh, no!” The storm door swings open, revealing Namjoon, Yoongi, and Lisa, Namjoon’s lady friend. “I didn’t need to hear that, thanks.” 

Your face looks absolutely pained as you watch the two older men walk in. They were the last people you’d ever want to share about your sex life too, even if it is fake. You can only bear to look properly at Lisa as they kick off their boots and shake the snow off their heads. Lisa pokes her tongue in her cheek, looking at you with a wild look in her eyes. “I’ve heard so much about your current drama. Can’t wait to hear the 411 from you, though.” 

Yoongi looks unfazed, then again you never really know what’s going on in his head. “You guys wanna go to a movie tonight?” Yoongi asks, grabbing a slice of the baguette and dipping it in a dish of olive oil. “I think the one that’s showing is based on a book your company published.”

“Is it ‘Rotten Love’?” 

“That’s the one.” 

Pushing yourself off the counter, you nod eagerly. “I’ll go tell Jungkook to get ready. We can eat dinner real quick and then go right after,” you grab a bottle of water from the fridge, “Joonie, set up the table please.” 

Jungkook doesn’t notice you walk in, and you can hear the faint sound of Muse blasting from his Airpods. He’s on your floor, doing pushups while reading a transcript under him. This time he’s using your iPad, every few seconds taking a thumb to scroll down. Sweating through his shirt, you can see the beads running along his silver reading glasses. It’s completely contradictory, your muscle bunny of a boss getting in his reps while psychoanalyzing a potential novel, but somehow it works with him. 

“Maniac,” you mutter, bending down to place the cool water bottle on his cheek. He stops abruptly, like you’ve pressed the pause button on his seemingly robotic arms. Seriously, you can’t fathom how he manages to do both. You swipe the iPad under his body in place of a white towel, which he accepts gratefully. This isn’t the first time you’ve had to snap him out of it, sometimes you’d catch him at the company gym nearing 10PM, reading on the treadmill. 

“What time is it?” he asks, fluting the water bottle down his throat. 

Ignoring the way his neck glistens in sweat, you say, “It’s almost seven. C’mon, we’re gonna eat dinner and watch a movie. You’ve cooped yourself up in this room all day, time to interact with the world.” 

“What movie?” 

“The book we published in 2018, ‘Rotten Love’? They made it into a movie,” and you can’t help the wry grin that takes over your face when you say your next words, “guess who directed it.” 

He sighs, rubbing the towel over his damp hair. The normally styled strands fall limply at his forehead. “I don’t remember, I shifted over that project to PR. Any director’s fine, but please please please don’t let it be—”

“Jung Hoseok!”

“Son of a bitch, we gotta go.” And it’s the first time in a while you see a genuine smile graze his features, one not laced with you and your marriage. It’s an old pastime for you both to get picky over Jung’s work. “I swear, he better not put his scenes all over the place like last time, I got whiplash.” 

After a quick dinner you all pile into Namjoon’s minivan, making your way to the theatre. The drive is fast, and before you know it you’re waiting in line to get inside. It seems that the PR between the film studio and Big Hit did a good job assisting, because there’s a sizable line despite being half an hour early. 

“So honey,” Lisa leans into you, squishing you further into Jungkook’s shoulder. “Did you like, help out with the publishing of this novel? To be honest I don’t even know what your job is,” Lisa admits with a shrug, “you’re not a glorified coffee girl, are you?” 

“No,” her mixed enthusiasm never fails to stump you, “Ah, but I really didn’t do much in the production of ‘Rotten Love’,” you reply easily, relaxing into Jungkook as he moves to drape an arm around your shoulder. “I just told my boss to sign some documents n’stuff. It’s really nothing—”

“Babe, are you kidding? You ran the whole freakin’ project!” and you’re in shock, because for the first time in the history of ever, Jeon Jungkook is paying you a real compliment. “It was her first assignment when she got hired as the big boss’ assistant. A lot of people in the office doubted her,” he squeezes your shoulder, “but not for one second did I doubt her, you could see how hard she worked to make it perfect. I heard the boss was really impressed, too.” 

You remember that period of time. Jungkook made you dive headfirst into the publishing for ‘Rotten Love’, letting you sink or swim in his decision for keeping you employed. After a full month of meetings, negotiations, and debating whether you should have caffeine IV’ed in your body to save time on eating, you got Jungkook’s evaluation. You remember the stoicism in Jungkook’s frame as he surmised your work, throwing you a flippant “it’s decent” before sending you off to do more work. 

Relief flooded your system after those two simple words, because that meant you had a chance and you could keep your job. But this? If what he’s saying is true, you’re on Cloud 9. 

“Awh, thanks Kook.” you squeeze his arm, letting your fingers trail down to lace your fingers with his. 

Lisa’s face is all scrunched, and she doesn’t hesitate to stretch over you to smush Jungkook’s cheek between her two fingers. Her blue nails dig into his soft skin. “I like him, honey. Keep him, he’s so cute.” 

She leaves you alone after that, skipping over to bother Namjoon about buying an extra bucket of popcorn. 

“At first I was nervous having you near my family for a week,” you say brightly, rubbing a thumb over his hand, “but I kinda like seeing you try so hard to not rip other people’s heads off.” 

He puffs out his cheeks in an attempt to soothe the stinging. “Could be worse, I could be engaged to Karen.” 

With that you laugh, loud enough to turn heads and have Jimin and Lisa send you adoring looks. Jungkook sends you a nervous smile, the one that he’d always send you during team meetings when he was unsure of how to respond to something. Instead of giving him a smart answer, you get on your tiptoes to pat his reddened cheek. “But she’s right, you are kinda cute when you wanna be.” 

Instead of replying, he squeezes your hand tighter to lead you inside. 

Everything is smooth sailing after that. You, Jimin and Yoongi are saving the seats while Jungkook, Lisa and Namjoon are getting the refreshments. Jimin is prattling on about a new job interview and you’re listening attentively, while Yoongi shoots off advice every time Jimin says he’s nervous. 

Yoongi looks past Jimin to give you that gummy smile that always made your chest ache. “Chim, remember when she applied to work at Jamba Juice?” 

“Oh my god,” Jimin giggles, clutching your arm. “When you had to do a trial run in front of the manager? You forgot to put the lid on the blender and you sprayed the staff with green juice?” 

“The stains took forever to get out,” you pouted. “And I didn’t appreciate the snaps you saved of me. I got nervous because you were recording me!” 

“Am I hearing some juicy details about your childhood?” Jungkook appears, passing a huge tub of buttery popcorn to Yoongi. 

“Emphasis on juice,” Yoongi says tartly, popping a handful of kernels in his mouth. 

“Yes, do you wanna see a picture of your fiancé covered in green juice? She wore a low-cut shirt that day so it got deep, man.” Jimin says, using his hands to gesture obscenely to his own chest. 

You’re mortified, and you push down Jimin’s phone and cover whatever receipts he has on you. “Jimin, I’d like to stay engaged, if you don’t mind?” 

Your not-so-favorite cousin cackles in response, telling Jungkook that they’ll talk later. 

“Here,” Jungkook cooly hands you a King-Sized KitKat. 

“Awh,” you marvel, immediately opening the wrapper, “you actually read my notes and found out what my favorite candy was?” 

He scoffs, dark bangs blowing up. “Who doesn’t like KitKats?” but you’re giving him the look, and he sighs, “C’mon babe, just gimmie a break.” 

“Ha-ha,” but you break off a piece anyway, lifting it to Jungkook’s lips. It’s then that the theatre starts to dim, and the telltale signs of the movie begin. “Ready to rip Jung Hoseok to shreds?” 

“Always.” 

Barely fifteen minutes pass and Jungkook is spreading his legs. You’re about to kick him before he leans in to whisper, “They made Renee too dull,” he sighs in disappointment, as if he sincerely had high hopes they’d bring the novel to justice. “I mean, I get it, in the novel she’s supposed to be a plain Jane. But she isn’t grey.” 

“Right?” you lean into Jungkook, throwing your legs over his thighs like you’re back at the airport. This isn’t out of intimacy, you think to yourself, you just need to be close enough to Jungkook so you don’t disturb the other patrons with your talking. “She’s either a bad actress or they messed up her character. I really got upset when I read this part, but it’s kinda bland on the screen.” 

As much as you love Jimin, you know he’s not going to get your over-criticality over the media. Yoongi and Namjoon are on the other end of the row, but they wouldn’t be too pleased having you gab over the movie because you’re too much of an aficionado. Jungkook is the only one who can tête-à-tête, or in this case, Kit-a-Kat with you. 

You sigh into his shoulder, inhaling his clean scent. “Let’s pray Jung didn’t completely butcher the chapter where Kenzo reflects on his penniless journey.” 

“I’ll leave the theatre right then and there if that happens, care to join me?” 

“Already out the door, bossman.” 

Jungkook looks away from the screen briefly, reaching forward to take an obnoxiously big bite of the KitKat in your hand. You stifle a giggle, and before you can soak up his cheeky grin he’s already looking back at the movie. 

You wonder what Jungkook is like outside of work, if he has that side to him. A little part of you wishes that this playfulness he’s exuding is real. Not to your fake marriage, but a playfulness he can execute to a person that he really likes. Two days out of the office and you’re starting to see that Jungkook has the capabilities to enjoy life, however simple it may be. 

The movie is finished in a blur, and you and Jungkook are still bickering over the intricacies of the film compared to the novel. The night air is cold and burns your cheeks, reminding you exactly how late you’ve been out.

“Well, I thought the romance was so boring!” Lisa blurted, wanting an in. Her lime green ski jacket glares in your vision, and you move away from her immediately. “No one cheated on each other, there was no drama, or evil best friend!” 

“Whoa there,” and you see the little fire in Jungkook’s eyes, one you’ve learned early on to stay away from when you spent hours in his office debating over manuscripts and plotlines. He stares down at Lisa, really stares down. “You think every romance needs some sort of internalized conflict for it to be good? Why can’t they just grow and learn from the external conflict together? It’s literally useless for them to break up over and over just—”

And that’s your cue to walk ahead of them, because while you did agree with Jungkook, you’ve heard this debate one too many times. Ever the closet-romantic at heart. You hope Lisa doesn’t lose her patience and punch him out. 

“Hey,” you feel a hand pat your hair, and you look up at Yoongi. He looks absolutely fluffy in his long puffy jacket, and he matches your steps with his. “Do I look ugly tonight, or something? I feel like we barely exchanged two sentences with each other.” 

“What, never!” you chastise, “you always look good, Yoongi. And we have the whole week to catch up, remember?”

“Really, then why don’t we go out in two days to pick out a tree for your house? Joon and I are planning on going.” 

“I would love to go pick a tree!” you exclaim, “the last time we got a tree together was when your brother had to lift.” 

“Great,” and he pats your head again, but this time his hand lingers to finger the ringlets of your hair. “It’ll be just like old times, baby girl. I’ll pick you up at 9.” 

Unbeknownst to the both of you, Jungkook’s argument ended minutes ago and he’s mulling over a new type of internal conflict. 

“Owie, ow, ow—fuck you! Ow!” 

“Well if you just hold still,” Jungkook grimaces, taking his turns with both hands to simultaneously wipe the injury with a cloth and then pressing the affected area with an ice bag. 

“Buh ih hurths!” your voice is muffled by the cloth, stained red with freshly bloomed blood. 

The ski lodge started off great. You enjoyed a fabulous beligan waffle breakfast courtesy of Jimin’s parents, and then made the trek to the slopes. You’ve been here dozens of times, so you didn’t feel an inclination to gravitate to any of the fancy schmancy sports. You were fine playing shuffleboard inside, but your inner youth complained that it’s the holidays and you should be getting out more.

Jimin and Jungkook (who claimed he hasn't snowboarded since he was 16 yet he’s doing tricks like a goddamn Olympian) were shredding on the slopes while Namjoon and Lisa were skiing on a smaller hill. You and Yoongi watched safely from the lift, riding it like a kiddie attraction. You must’ve taken the lift at least ten times, complaining about how you’re both too lazy to function and you could really use a hot chocolate and a fireplace. 

After the fifteenth time on the lift, legs numb, you stumble over with heavy boots to where Lisa and Namjoon were waiting for Jimin and Jungkook. They wanted to walk around more and see if they could try a more difficult slope. 

While you were waiting, you had to admit that Jungkook did kind of cool all decked out in his gear. A competitive, playful smile was easily reflected in his gaze despite his helmet and goggles. 

That slight admiration is knocked right off your feet when Jungkook speeds by way too close for comfort and you’re in his path. Jimin had already slowed next to your friends and family, looking at you in anticipated horror.

It’s far too late, and despite the fact that Jungkook manages to pull your body to his while you wipe out, your face crashes into his helmet and you taste metal. 

Mildly disoriented from the impact, Jungkook’s muffled string of curses nurse you back to a decent consciousness as he tries to carry you to the lodge.

“Holy shit, I got that on camera!” Jimin cries, gesturing to the Go-Pro nestled in his helmet. 

So now you’re in pain and it’s all Jungkook’s fault. Your bottom lip is split, and the burn on your face won’t go away. 

You watch as Jungkook dotes on you, his bangs pushed up everywhere due to his grey goggles haphazardly being propped upon his forehead. His pink tongue sticks out as he concentrates on not getting blood on your sweater. It’s just you and him that are stuck around in the lodge after you got pummeled, standing by the fire while everyone else continues on with the fun. 

“Why were you over there anyway, in the middle of the slope?” he scolds. 

“It was the slow down zone, Jeon. You were the only one not slowing down, you speed demon.” 

“Sorry,” he says gruffly, pressing a little too hard with the ice and you wince. He lets up and presses the cloth to your lips to soak up the moisture.

“Did you say something?” 

“I said, I’m sorry.” 

You sigh dramatically, “I wish I had a camera to save that shitty excuse of an apology.” 

“Speaking of cameras,” he shucks his phone out of his pocket, handing it to you. “Jimin uploaded the video.” 

That man, you don’t know where he has the means to quickly upload and edit things, but if it’s for the ‘Gram, it’s worth it to Jimin. You open Instagram and immediately click on @chimmyboi’s story, immediately wincing as the first few seconds reveal the brunt of the impact. He should really put a disclaimer before uploading content. 

The tumble between you and Jungkook doesn’t look so bad, but it’s when you get up does it look gnarly. Your chin is dribbling in red liquid, and Jungkook’s throwing off his helmet and goggles in a panic. 

He makes a half-assed snowball where you’re lying on the ground, pressing it against your mouth. With his other hand he pulls you into a sitting position, not caring that you’re staining his clothes as he hauls you on his body. 

“Ohmygod,” you splutter, trying not to move your lips, “I look like I got decked with a hockey puck.” 

“It wasn’t that bad, don’t be a baby.” Jungkook sees the piecing glare you give him, and he sighs. “Okay, it looked pretty bad. I was a little worried back there, but now the bleeding pretty much stopped and holy shit—stop smiling! You’re making it open up further!” 

“You were worried?” 

“Shut up.” 

The ice bag is watery and not doing much anymore, but Jungkook still insists to cool your face down. You lift a hand to his cold ones, attempting to take the bag and cloth from his grasp. 

“You should go board with Jimin and the rest of them. I can take care of this.” 

“It’s fine,” he reasons, reaching for the ice bag but you hold on tighter. 

“C’mon, I know the only thing you were looking forward to this entire trip was going snowboarding. I’m a big girl, I can be alone for an hour or two.” 

Jungkook locks his jaw, gnawing at his cheek as he mulls on his decision. “Wouldn’t I look like a bad partner if I leave you?”

“Nah, this has happened before. Almost always someone gets injured on the trip. Last time something like this happened I was eight and I got five stitches on my leg. This is nothing. You’re fine.” 

“But still.” 

“Fine, you wanna make it up to me?” 

You scan the room for any ideas, and it settles on a trio of girls huddled by the register of the built-in café. They’re pretty snow bunnies, decked out in sweater dresses and fur lined boots. They remind you a little of The Powerpuff Girls, all in pastels and attached to the hip. Their gaze has taken hostage in Jungkook’s frame, blatantly ignoring the fact that majority of his attention is directed towards you. You wonder why you haven’t noticed them sooner, because now the staring is getting borderline discomforting. 

Slipping off his goggles with your free hand, you gesture subtly to the girls. “They think you’re hot. Go flirt with them a little and get me a free drink, I’m sure they’ll pay for you.” 

He doesn’t understand the correlation, “Why would I do that?” 

You shrug, separating the strands of hair that stick to his forehead. “Lisa and Namjoon do it all the time when they go clubbing. They compete and pretend they’re single for like two hours, and then they keep a tally of how many people offer to buy them a drink.” 

“That is completely different, but I’m open to trying it when we get back to the city.” he acknowledged briefly, getting up from his crouching position. “I got a better idea.” 

Puzzled, you watch him saunter over to the register. Like bees to the honey, the girls follow Jungkook with their eyes, watching him exaggeratedly mull over the menu. 

He spares the slightest of head inclinations to the drooling trio, “Hello ladies.” The smile is not flirtatious, but kind. 

You suppress a giggle, burying your chin in your scarf as you watch the whole interaction. You don’t even know why you asked Jungkook if he would flirt with those girls, as he kept most of his dates private over the years. You picture a college-aged Jungkook getting his daily breakfast on his way to class, ignoring the way his presence attracts heads. 

The barista hands Jungkook a tray filled with a plastic cup of ice, and a cup filled with something hot, and a chocolate croissant. He grabs a straw from a tray, stabbing it in the hot drink’s lid. 

“Excuse me,” one of the girls coquettishly puts her hands behind her back, puffing her chest out as she leans over Jungkook’s order. “The regular croissants actually taste better in my opinion.” 

“Well my wife’s had a hard day, so I think she deserves something sweet.” 

He doesn’t even turn around as he makes a beeline to where you’re seated on a loveseat, carefully placing the tray on the coffee table. 

“Your better idea was making them jealous?” you ask, unsure of his intentions. 

He shrugs, “College-Jungkook always wanted to show off his girlfriend like that, so indulge me for a second, alright?”

Rolling your eyes you reply, “My life is about indulging you. Don’t forget the trips I’ve made to the grocery store when your personal fridge was out of banana—”

“I thought I said we don’t speak of those hard times,” he cuts you off, “ever.”  

You stop him from filling up your ice bag with the ice he brought. “C’mon Jeon, you’re burning daylight out there. I got this. You’ve stalled enough, go have fun in the snow with Jimin, you adrenaline junkie.” 

He scrunches his nose, but relents when you throw him his jacket and goggles. Before he pulls on his gloves, he cups your face with both hands to pull you in a kiss. His hands are cold from the ice, gluing you in place in fear of him kissing you too hard. But it’s barely that, a brushing of lips so tender as he takes extra care with your open lip. 

“Is this also a self-indulgent request?” you pucker, “who knew there was a hormonal teenager under that editor-in-chief’s body.” 

His eyes flicker to the audience in the back, and you don’t need to look behind you to note that they’re glaring daggers in your head. It’s like you’re straight out of a rom-com. 

“You’re leaving me to the bunnies,” you say teasingly. 

“Then hurry up and get better so you can join us,” he taunts, “or else you can’t help me bury Jimin in the snow.” 

It’s a tempting offer that makes you down your drink so you can enjoy the rest of your day. 

Light seeps through your windows, rays kissing your eyelashes and willing them to open. You groan, hand splaying out to wake up Jungkook. When you find his space empty and cool, you sit up and search for your fake-fiancé. 

He’s on the floor, smack in the middle of his morning workout. Your iPad is under his body, and somehow he’s managed to find a setting where the document scrolls for him automatically. He’s not wearing his Airpods, so you rasp, “Jeon, you’re crazy. I get the morning workout, but you don’t have to look over any more transcripts. I think you’ve read enough for this week.” 

“It helps me ignore the burn,” he says shortly, and you see the ripples of his back flex with every push-up. “And I wouldn’t have to do so much reading if my assistant would just do her job.” 

“I already told you, I’m not working during my vacation.” you throw off the sheets, padding to your closet. “I’m going to pick the tree today. You should go to the mall with my mom and Jimin to pick out some new ornaments.” 

“What?” he gets up, and you ignore the perfect view of tight muscles decorating his abs. Exactly how long was he awake for to have sweat clinging to his shirt? You’re going to short-circuit and it’s barely 8:30. “But I wanna go help pick out the tree.” 

“You don’t have to do that, Joon and Yoongi got it.” 

“Yoongi, really? You think he can carry a tree?” 

“This isn’t a pissing contest, Jeon.” you settle on a burgundy Patagonia jacket and grey leggings. “Besides, Yoongi and I are just friends.”

“You sure about that, baby girl?” 

You whip around to poke at his chest, and you ignore how smug he looks. “Do not test me, Jeon. Like you said, I’m with you every step of the way in this marriage. I’m not going to jeopardize that over some childhood crush.” 

“Wow, your life is really turning into a Wattpad entry,” he admonishes, “fake-fiancé still pining over his older brother’s best friend, really high-qual stuff.” 

“I’m serious.” you grit, “I took a week off so I can get away from you and that was ruined, so I would like a little bit of space today.” 

And that gets Jungkook to back away. His face deflates a little, and you feel a little guilty for making him upset, but you stab that thought down and convince yourself that he deserves it. It’s not like he cares about you, he just wants to show off to the boys.

“Fine,” he turns around to put on a fresh shirt, and you almost notice the pout marrying his face. “You could’ve just told me you wanted space. I’m getting kind of tired of you too, you know.” 

He flops on the bed and you huff in reply, quickly throwing on your attire inside your closet while he watches a YouTube video. You check your phone, and at 8:59 a knock is at your door. Jungkook doesn’t bother to get up to answer, and you open the door to see a sleepy Yoongi with a paper cup in his hand. 

“An English breakfast with two sugars and a dash of milk, baby girl.” 

You mask your wince at the pet name. It hadn’t bothered you when you were young, but its starting to feel coddling now that Jungkook is making you hyper-aware of the attention. “Perfect,” you faux-beam, the hot beverage warm your fingers. 

“I’ll just warm up the car and—”

“Babeeeeee,”  the deepest, sexiest voice echoes from your bed and out in the hallway. He sounds absolutely tempting, and needy. You freeze at the way your boss can so easily pretend he’s exhausted and wanting you, “come back to bedddddd. I’m not done with you yet.” 

Yoongi’s ears are red, “Aaand, I’ll let you finish whatever business you have.” 

The older man bolts out of there, and you snap your head back to look at an innocent Jungkook. He tilts his head at your bout of anger. 

“You know, I have half a mind to fling this tea down your shirt.” 

“What?” he looks at you like a child caught with a hand in the cookie jar. “He can’t be the only one who can call you baby.” 

Honestly, you didn’t mean to lash out on Jungkook like that. You did need to put up a face as you were each other's significant others, but it doesn’t mean you have to be together all the time. To top it all off you’ve been feeling weird as of late, and you can only attribute these terrible feelings to a certain brunet who’s been sleeping in your bed. 

But you pin these feelings for another time, because you need to enjoy what little quality time you have with your brother. 

“Hey, whaddya think of this one?” It's just you and Namjoon picking the tree, and Yoongi’s sitting in the cabin keeping warm. He said to call him once you’ve decided, since it is your house. 

“Hm, it’s fine.” you shrug, inhaling the pine. “Maybe a little too tall.” 

Namjoon nods, and you follow him to the next row of greenery. He’s been pensive this whole time, and you have a feeling he’s hiding something. Surrounded by pine and the fresh winter air he says, “Hey, I just wanna say sorry.” 

“Why, did you like that tree over there? I don’t mind it, we can go back!” 

“What, no? I’m sorry for being weird around Jungkook.” 

“Huh?” sure, you noticed the weird language and terseness he gave Jungkook initially, but you chalked it out as big brother issues. 

You two continue to walk around the forest aimlessly, not really tree hunting. 

“I was just upset that the engagement was so sudden,” Namjoon starts, and you feel the guilt start to set camp in your stomach. “And I don’t know, at first he just didn’t seem like your type? I always thought you wanted to date someone gentle, someone you could hold and depend on. He looked so serious, and maybe a little immature.”

“He is a little immature,” you agree softly, digging your boots in the snow, “but I don’t love him any less because of it. We’re growing together.” Shit, why was that so easy for you to say? 

“Figured,” and Namjoon stops to place a hand on your shoulder, “I see the way he looks at you, and you can’t fake love like that.” 

Namjoon’s admonition is so convincing that you almost convince yourself that it is something. 

Something is bothering Jungkook, and he doesn’t know why. 

It’s not the billions of charges he made on his credit card for new ornaments, because it simultaneously inflated his ego and impressed your mom. 

It’s not the way Jimin hangs onto his every word and doesn’t let up, because it is refreshing to have your cousin find a genuine interest in him. 

Jungkook, Jimin and your mom have been taking laps around the mall for the past hour. They’ve floated around here and there, picking out whatever catches their eye for the tree. 

Jimin’s in the middle of explaining the Jamba Juice story when a glimmering window display catches his eye. 

“Hun, have you not bought her a present yet?” your mom says over his shoulder. 

“No,” he exhales, embarrassed that he just admitted he didn’t think of getting you anything in front of your mom. “She doesn’t ask for anything, really.” Besides her book published, a raise, and a potential promotion as editor, but they didn’t need to know that much. 

“Good thing you’re with the right people!” Jimin cheers, ushering him into the jewelry store. 

Funny enough, he knows exactly what to get you. Once he points it out, Jimin and your mom “ooh” and “aah” respectively, agreeing that what he chose was perfect. If you had asked Jungkook a week ago what kind of jewlery you like, he’d give you a dumb look and say “something shiny.” But that’s what’s bothering him. He just walked right into the store, saw what was right, and everything just clicked. 

Jungkook pins that thought for later, because once their shopping is done they’re back at your villa, arranging the ornaments and detangling the lights that have been holed up in the closet for eleven months. 

Jimin and he are sitting on the living room floor, stabbing thread through popcorn. He really only saw this craft in the movies, and the small part of him is amazed that you and your family go through the hard work to make your holidays so warm. 

Your mom appears from her bedroom, clutching something in her hand. She sits in front of Jungkook, a huge smile on her face. 

“Before you say anything,” and it strikes him how similar you are to your mother. There’s that tone he always receives before he gets new news, or the way you’re eager to share something that will make him happy. “I don’t want you to think this is a luxurious gift or anything. But I realized that you don’t have a wedding band so I went through my old cases and found this.” 

She opens her palm slowly, revealing a simple black band. 

Jungkook’s lips part to form words, but his vocal cords betray him. At first glance, this ring could’ve been mistaken for one of Jimin’s plentiful rings adorning his fingers. Upon closer inspection however, Jungkook notes that this band is thinner and more worn. The metal looks strong and old, the slight scratches and faded color revealing that it was a well-loved piece of jewelry. 

Your mom is offering Jungkook a wedding band. 

“If you don’t like it, that’s okay!” your mom says quickly, nerves radiating because of Jungkook’s silence. “It was my grandfather’s. Don’t feel as if you have to accept it. It’s not a wedding band persay, but I think it matches and it looks about your size and we didn’t get you a Christmas gift so—”

“It’s perfect.” Jungkook tells her firmly, sending him a tight-lipped smile. “Thank you, I guess we kind of rushed the engagement so I didn’t think of getting a band of my own.” 

Your mother is grateful, dropping the ring in Jungkook’s awaiting palm. “I think my daughter should be the one who puts it on you, don’t you think?” 

“Right,” he echoes, and he just stares at the ring in his hand, feeling weird in his chest. He can’t remember the last time someone put this much thought in getting him something this significant. He can’t accept this ring, but he can’t refuse it either. “I could never find something with this much value from a little shop in New York, so thank you.” 

“Oh, and while we’re on the topic of New York,” Jimin puts down his completed popcorn wreath, “y/n said she already put in her off days for Easter, so you should too. It’ll be at my place this year, and I live by an indoor skydiving zone. She mentioned you’re an adrenaline junkie.” 

“She also mentioned that your birthday’s in September.” your mom pops in, “We were thinking we could take Friday off and stop by for the weekend. I’ve always wanted to see Hamilton!” 

Jungkook knows they’re trying to cheer him up. They’re trying to make him feel part of the family, feel wanted. But he can’t remember the last time he’s felt wanted unless it’s for a book deal or a business exchange. It’s been so long since he’s felt this warm, and he didn’t realize how much he yearned for it until he proposed to you.

“Hey man,” Jimin puts an arm around his trembling shoulders, “are you alright?” 

“Fine,” he’s crying, and doing a shit job at hiding the tears. “It’s alright, I just,” he can’t even find the strength to get up and walk away from this. Is it pathetic that he’s breaking down in the comfort of your cousin and mom, starved for affection? “I just, I miss my family. It’s just the four of us, but they’re all the way in Korea and it’s been awhile since I’ve really celebrated anything with them. They visit sometimes but it’s not the same, y’know? And work is so stressful but I’m not in a position to say that. And your family is just so, so nice and it makes me miss them even more. You’re all so lucky to support each other like this.” 

Jimin and your mom sandwich him like an Oreo. It’s almost funny, how two smaller humans are comforting this big human and not the other way around. “Poor baby, it’s your family too.” 

Pathetic. It’s pathetic how much he wishes to have a family like yours, but he can’t have that. 

“Can we please not tell y/n about this?” Jungkook wishes, leaning his head on your mom’s. “She’s going through a lot right now with work and stuff, I’d rather just talk to her about this after the holidays, if that’s okay.” 

“It’s quite alright, sweetheart,” your mom runs a hand through his hair, and his eyes automatically flutter closed, “just remember, your feelings matter too, okay?” 

You and Jungkook slip into bed at the same time, murmuring half-hearted “how was your days” and brief descriptions of your outings. It’s a little awkward considering the morning’s events, but not unbearable. 

“The tree smells really nice,” Jungkook tries, looking up from his phone. 

“Yeah, makes the whole room smell like Christmas.” 

“Yeah.”

“Did you have a good time shopping, find anything good?” 

“Yeah.”

“That’s nice.” 

[11:29] Jimin: hey, you know my room’s right next to yours right? 

[11:29] Jimin: we share a goddamn wall and im NOT hearing shit

[11:29] Jimin: are you putting that baby blanket to good use ;)

[11:30] You: YOU”REE DISGUSTING are we even family!!!!  Can i disown a first cousin?? 

[11:30] Jimin: i’m just sayin.. U said it was fantastic

You throw your phone away, letting it slide off to the mattress and onto the baby blanket. Yes, the baby blanket is unfortunately here to stay. Over the course of three days, the quilt is like a ball in a tennis match between you and your mother. You’ve given up and just kept it on the floor. 

“I have a question,” you say aloud, motioning to your bed partner. 

“Shoot.” 

“Was it true when you said I was the only girl you knew well enough to be your wife?”

“Of course, that’s why we’re here.” 

“I’m just wondering, because I really thought you could pick any girl in the office to be yours.” you stuff your hands under the covers, playing with your ring. “I mean, you’re kinda-sorta handsome. You could’ve picked someone just as pretty and they would have studied your whole life story for you.” 

Jungkook's phone falls in his lap, and he looks at you like you’ve lost a couple brain cells. “Normally, I would eat up the fact that you admitted I was attractive. But do you realize you’re just as beautiful, if not more?” 

What? 

“I know it’s unprofessional, but how professional can we get when we’re married, but you’re the whole package, y/n.” and he says it with such fervor, you can’t formulate a response. “I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else. No one else can take my shit and throw it right back in my face, or debate with me for hours on end about a novel’s direction. Only you can do that.” 

“I’m sorry,” you shake your head, “thanks, you’re right. I’m just clouded, and stressed. And Jimin’s being an ass and it’s really bothering me.” 

His chocolate eyes flicker in the darkness of your bedroom, making note of your phone on the floor. “What’d he say?” 

“It’s stupid, he said that he thinks it’s weird he hasn’t heard us bang all week,” you force a laugh, “it’s my fault though, he wouldn’t get off my back so I gave up and told him the sex was fantastic.” 

“Are you worried he’s unconvinced?” 

“A little, maybe? I don’t know.” you’re wrinkling your bedsheets now, turning the cotton into putty as your sweaty palms wring at the edge. 

“I don’t mind giving him a show.” Jungkook blurts, and you instinctively pull the covers closer to your chest, even though you’re fully clothed. 

“What, like fake moan into the wall?” 

“There are things you can do over the clothes,” he says matter-of-factly, pulling the sheet of his bedside down slightly. “And you just said you’re stressed. I’d be a bad fiancé to not let you relieve some of that tension.” 

Jungkook opens his arms and gestures for you to get on his lap. Your body is hot all over, and you can’t tell if it’s because you’re horrified or aroused. Maybe a little of both. 

“Are you kidding—you’re my boss!” 

“And we’re consenting adults!” he narrows his eyes at you, “don’t say you’ve never thought about it before.”

And the sick, twisted part of you has, a lot. There’s something about a man in a tailored suit and owning up to its power that’s really attractive. Not to mention all those times they’d be traveling for work, stumbling for a quick McDonald's bite at 12AM and he’d be dressed casually in tight black jeans and combat boots. The energy really kept you on your toes. 

“Wow, I really hate late-night talks. All the secrets come out, don’t they?” 

“If it makes you feel better, your ass looks great in pencil skirts,” you turn to him with flared eyes, “what? I’m just trying to let you know I mayhaps find you attractive.” 

“Mayhaps you should stop talking before I regret this.” 

His eyebrows lift and disappear from his bangs, the hair freshly dried and fluffy from his late night shower. He then pats his lap with a little blasé as if to say “hop on”, and you ignore the way how good the seat looks, his boxer briefs doing nothing to hide his unmentionables. 

Trying to fight alongside your last drop of dignity, you take your time. 

“C’mon y/n, don’t make it weird.” 

“It’s been weird, Jeon! Jimin’s next door!” you hiss, backing away slightly, “Give me some time, I can’t just hump my boss!” 

“You’re not humping your boss.” Jungkook has the audacity to grin, the expression looking absolutely sinful in the moonlight. “Think of it as your lover wanting to make you feel good.” 

The bridge between love and hatred is a fine, fine line stemmed by passion. 

Careful, you lift your blankets up and slip out of them, moving to sit up. It’s ridiculous, tiptoeing around your bed to avoid any sudden creaks in the aged wood of your mahogany headboard. 

“We’re out to prove to your family we fuck on the reg,” Jungkook snips, “you can make noise.” 

Within seconds, he’s hauling you on his lap. You squeak in surprise, feeling the thin material of his boxers seep through your thin silk shorts. You wriggle around, monitoring Jungkook’s expression. He does not allude too much, but you take note of the way Jungkook secures you with his hands between the swells of your thighs. 

“I’m not a rollercoaster, stop adjusting like you’re gonna buckle up.” 

Jungkook’s dry humor lightens the mood considerably, and you can’t help but smile timidly at his attempt to make you feel at ease. He lets you take your time, and you never imagined someone so demanding in the office can be so… kind in bed. 

You dip forward to kiss his lips once, twice. He looks needy, but lets you set the pace. You appreciate that. You’re salivating at his willingness to make you feel good, and you whimper as he nibbles on a sensitive spot on your neck. 

You need more. Sensing your urgency when you jerk his chin up, he muffles your sounds with a harsh kiss, taking care to moan deeply into your mouth. The heat is luxurious on this winter night, burgundy kisses exchanged between the sheets like secrets. His tongue slips between your teeth, tasting every inch of you and exploring you like the deepest texts. 

He pulls away slightly, and you’re drowning in his gaze. “Am I still just kinda-sorta handsome now?” he nips at your neck, sucking on a spot between your jaw. 

“N-no,” and you pull him up by the chin, taking in his messy hair and glazed eyes, “you’re fucking sexy,” and you tug your mouth to his once more. 

You don’t even realize that you’re rolling your hips until Jungkook breaks the kiss in favor of grabbing your hips, making sure your core is nestled perfectly between his hardening length. It doesn’t take long for the both of you to get wet, and the silk glides easily between your thighs like butter.

“That’s it, baby girl,” he encourages, one hand reaching up to cup your breast, “use me, make  yourself feel good.” 

“Please, don’t call me that,” you whine against his mouth, trying to keep the mood in, “Babe is fine, but baby girl makes me feel like a little kid and I’m not a little kid.”

“You damn right,” and he lifts his hips to meet yours in a sharp thrust, and you gasp hotly into his mouth. It’s too late to muffle your moans, not when you’re drenched with two pathetic pieces of fabric stopping the both of you. “You’re a gorgeous, intelligent, strong, amazing woman.” 

With every compliment, he does all the work, thrusting with each adjective like he’s blessing poetry into your body. 

“J-Jungkook,” the name is muffled against his shoulder, too fuzzed in ecstasy to be embarrassed by the drool coating his tank top. His hair tickles your shoulder as he nips at your clothed breasts, swirling around your nipple. “I-I, m’gonna come,” 

“You’re almost there huh?” and he slips a hand between you two to find that sweet spot, swirling designs between your shorts. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”

And you’re shaking, collapsing into his embrace as he rides out your high. He cradles one hand in your hair as you rub furiously against his other, chasing your pleasure like a starved animal. 

“K-Kook,” you murmur into his neck, finding the strength to roll your hips one more time to check. “You’re still hard, do you want me to help?”

“No.” he’s forthright, and as tired as you are, you force yourself to pick your head up. Sweat lines his brow and his face is flushed, but he’s already helping you off and handing you a tissue from the nightstand. 

“What?” you’re hurt, and don’t want to admit why. 

“Don’t feel like you need to,” he grunts into your forehead, dipping a chaste kiss right in the center. “Just let me do something nice to you for once.” 

As much as you want to, you don’t complain as he tucks you in. You don’t complain when you see a wet stain on his Kirby boxer briefs. You don’t answer back when he checks his phone one more time and pulls you in to press a kiss to your cheek. It’s 12:31. 

“Merry Christmas,” he murmurs into your skin, and turns over so his back faces you. 

Christmas is a loud and eager affair. The entirety of your family piles into your house while still in pajamas, aunts and uncles from other villas running in with their children with their newly opened toys and gadgets. There’s a buffet style breakfast piled on the kitchen island, and you’re all eating in the living room while watching holiday movies. 

Jungkook melds right in, unsurprisingly. He has your baby cousin Dante in his lap, teaching him how to use the controls of his new Nintendo Switch. 

Despite only meeting Jungkook a few days ago, you notice that some of your family have taken the liberty of giving him small presents. You spot a simple silver chain around his wrist, courtesy of Jimin, and a fluffy grey scarf wrapped around his neck, courtesy of your aunt’s impeccable knitting club. 

“He fits right in, doesn’t he?” 

Yoongi hands you your usual cup of tea, and you accept it gratefully. You’re sitting right next to the tree, and you notice that some of the ornaments are miniature books. You absentmindedly run your fingers over the carved wood, especially on the ones that are your favorite titles. 

“Yeah,” you hate to admit, so you whisper it into your mug. But Yoongi can hear, he always does. “I didn’t think it would be this easy.” 

“Easy to love him, or easy to fit into this family?” 

You splutter into your mug, and Yoongi does the right thing by patting your back. It feels a little bit like he’s burping a baby, but otherwise, it soothes your lungs. 

“I am happy for you, you know.” he says, knocking knees with you. “It might not seem like it now, but I truly am.” 

Deciding not to dwell on his subversive confession, you thank him for the tea and excuse yourself. Dante seems like he’s got the hang of MarioKart, so you tug Jungkook by the hand and lead him back into your bedroom. 

“I got you a present, but I didn’t feel like making a scene about it,” you pull out a pink gift bag, tufts of white tissue paper sticking out. “Also, it’s kinda cheap and it was a last minute thing, so don’t have any high expectations.” 

“Gee, you’re really making me feel deserving of this gift,” but he takes his time in unraveling the bag anyway. 

He pulls out a shiny onyx black mug, rolling it between his hands. On one side it’s engraved in gold cursive “World’s Best Boss” but on the other side it’s engraved, “World’s Best Husband”. 

“Subtle,” he grins, pulling you into a hug. He gets that it’s a gag gift, but because it’s from you, it's a lot more meaningful. You could’ve easily delved into his bank accounts and see what he buys for himself, but you decided to take the more personal route. 

“Thanks,” he murmurs into your hair. And to really throw you off he says, “For my gift, I’ve decided to publish your novel.” 

You shove him away as if you’ve been stung, and you barely have the voice to ask, “Are you serious, you’ve read my novel? I didn’t even send you the first draft!” 

“We share the same Google Drive, it was easy to find. If you had noticed, it’s the only thing I’ve been reading this week,” he shrugs as if it’s nothing, but he’s in actuality giving you your lifelong dream. “You deserve it, really. I’m sorry if you felt like it wasn’t ready to be read. But it was wonderful, you’re a real wordsmith.” 

“I’m not upset,” you can’t be, not when he smells so good and he’s trying to hug you all over again. “How many copies?”

“10,000.”

“20,000.”

“15,000, and I’ll even give you permission to dedicate your novel to me.” he raises his brows irreverently. 

You scoff at his arrogance, but you don’t admit to confessing that along with professors and your family, you would be dedicating it to him. “Well my gift feels like absolute shit,” you deadpan, “can I have a do-over tomorrow? We can go to the mall or something.”

“You’ve done enough for me,” he disagrees, breaking away from you to place the mug on your desk. “Agreeing to my farfetched proposal, letting me into your home. I think that’s an amazing gift.” 

“You’ve been way too nice,” you look at him wearily, noting the rosiness in his cheeks. 

“You say that like it’s not possible!” 

“Who knows? Maybe the Christmas spirit has performed a miracle, who am I to judge?” and you can’t get enough of the man, running into his heart one more time. Pressing your ear to his chest you sing, “Well, in the Poconos they say, that Jeon Jungkook’s heart grew three sizes that day.” 

It may have not grown three sizes, but if the living room wasn’t so loud, maybe you could’ve heard his heart beating three times as fast. 

The calm after the storm is your favorite part of Christmas. Most of your extended family has left to mull in their own homes, leaving your family to laze around until it’s just you and Jungkook that are awake. 

Jim Carrey’s version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas is playing on Netflix, arguably the only superior rendition of the children's book. The tree is still glowing by the fireplace, soft white lights trickling in the darkened room. 

Earlier in the night, you and Jungkook had cuddled up in the middle of the couch under a blanket, and were too lazy to move even when the entirety of your family vacated. Either of you could’ve easily shoved each other off and went to bed, but here you are, making offhand comments over hot cocoa. Each second that passes by, you’re more aware of how well you two sink between the fabric like you’re meant to do this. The domesticity terrifies you, but you don’t dare to point it out. 

“How does his face do that?” Jungkook turns to you, contorting his face into funny expressions. It’s a poor attempt at the green creature on the screen, but it makes your mouth twitch and you fight the urge to giggle. “It’s like he’s made of rubber.” 

“He has a sense of humor, unlike some people.” 

“Very funny,” he says, turning away to take a sip of his cooca. 

Sinking further into the couch, you unconsciously latch onto him more, savoring his body heat. “Can I confess something?”  

“What’s up?” 

“A week ago, I loathed you. I used to have recurring dreams about you getting run over by a Wonderbread truck. And I was driving the truck.” 

“Wow, that makes me feel so much better.” 

“No really, if I had the opportunity to watch you get hit by a cab, I would’ve paid for it.” 

“If it were possible for me to file for divorce at this very second, now would be time. You are a walking red flag.” 

“Okay, but!” you shush him with a finger to your lips, and he goes cross-eyed at the touch. “After seeing your stellar performance this week and an impeccable display of human emotion. I think after all of this, we could be friends.” 

“Fwends?” he says through your finger, mouth smushed. “Why whuh we?” 

Instead of lifting your finger right away, you swipe at his cherry lips, getting rid of the marshmallow sticking to the corners. 

“Because we get along.” you say simply.

“Because we’re supposed to be getting married.” 

“No! We’ve always gotten along! We’ve just been too up our asses to notice!” you sit up, appalled. “Here’s my theory, a change of setting has suddenly spurred on your character development—”

“—y’know I really don’t appreciate your use of literary jargon, it’s really pretentious—”

“—because without your external conflict, you have a chance to let loose and enjoy your life for once!” 

Jungkook frowns, adjusting his frame so he slightly hovers you. He’s pretty like this, dressed in fluffy black pajamas and his face soft. His eyes absorb the Christmas fairy lights, and you notice for the first time in two years that there are no longer purple bags under his eyes. 

“I don’t know,” he murmurs, voice so small you wonder if he’s worried to crush the moment. “Friends are hard.” 

You shake your head vehemently, “Friends are easy, keeping them is the hard part.”

He doesn’t know why he’s being so weird about this. You’ve worked for him for over two years, you know him as well as you know your skincare routine, down to the last detail. 

“Jeon, don’t think too hard about this,” you try to get him to lighten up, the intense look in his eyes throwing you in for a loop. It makes the little hamster wheel in your head spin rapidly, and you wonder if you’re really crossing a line. “Jimin said you had a really good time yesterday, I was almost jealous I couldn’t come shopping with you.” 

He cracks a smile at that, “Yeah, Jimin and I shared a moment,” and he leans down to the shell of your ear, “and he said he really enjoyed our moment last night.” 

“Oh my god!” you grab a nearby throw pillow, chucking the rough fabric in his face. 

He breaks into a laugh, but not the wine and dine chuckles that he’d have between terse negotiations for work. It’s a full out giggle, like he’s proud to have riled you up enough to break your resolve. Who knew your angry face could be so cute? 

“I guess if we’ve crossed a line, might as well make it all the way to the end,” Jungkook says easily, running a hand through his chocolate tresses. 

You and Jungkook are leaving the day after tomorrow. Most of your stuff is packed and ready to go, and you’re currently spending the rest of your night at a sit-down dinner with your immediate family plus Jimin. 

It’s peaceful, you muse. Jungkook even offered to help cook. Back at Big Hit not once did he ever bring leftovers from home, always insisting you order something for him during work. Kimchi fried rice is a simple dish, but Jungkook had taken great care in making sure it was cooked properly and adjusted to your family’s tastes. 

Your parents are glowing and enjoying their time with the whole family, a rarity that grows more valuable with age. The meal soothes you like a balm, reminding you of old conversations that had you spew milk out of your nose or Namjoon accidentally spilling beans on your lap. 

“Oh, you should also clear your schedule for the first week of September,” Jimin says absentmindedly, shoving another mouthful of fried rice. “Besides Easter, Jungkook says we can celebrate his birthday and visit for the weekend.” 

“Seriously,” Namjoon balks, sitting up straight as he regards you in disbelief. “You’re sure your Devil of a boss will enjoy you out of his chains for two vacations, god forbid you take the holidays off again.” 

The grip on your fork tightens, but you steel yourself. Honestly, you were wondering why it took Namjoon this long to let it all out. He was always vehemently against your job, as he was the person who got the brunt of your vents when you were stressed. Probably for the sake of Christmas he let it go, but now that it’s over, the topic’s fair game. 

“Oh, c’mon Joonie,” your mother frowns, “not at the table.” 

“He isn’t that bad, Joon.” you reason, completely ignoring Jungkook as you stare straight at your brother. “He means well—”

“Means well?” Namjoon barks a laugh, as if it’s the most laudable thing. “Sis, you cried everyday for a straight month after you were hired.” he places his hands on the table, regarding you carefully, “I had to personally call your doctor in New York to get you sleeping pills, and not to mention that two weeks ago, you were crying again because you were worried he forgot your vacation and would make you work! Don’t tell me he ‘means well’ when I’ve been busy picking up the pieces!” 

At this point, you’re livid. Jungkook’s right here, and while you can’t go ahead and out the fact that he is your boss, you can still have his back. 

They don’t know that you’ve picked the pieces back up, reinforced yourself to create a better version of the person you once were. 

“He does mean well,” you cry, matching your brother’s red tone to a T. “He’s just stressed and genuinely cares about the company. I choose to work long hours because he takes his time in making sure the work we publish is worthwhile, and I support that. He’s hard on me because he knows I have potential. He’s going to make sure I succeed.” 

Namjoon looks at you like you’ve grown two heads. “You’re seriously defending your shitty boss?” 

Jimin puts a hand over Namjoon’s in an attempt to placate him, but he shoves it away.

“Honestly,” Namjoon spits venom, “how can you possibly stand to be around someone who makes your life so miserable?” 

Your meal has gone cold, and your fists clutch desperately at your jeans. The breath is robbed from your lungs, and you can’t look at anyone for fear of them regarding you with guilt. You know since the day you got hired that your family wasn’t exactly enthused at your boss’ level of expectation and work output. But they don’t know the industry, and they don’t even really know Jungkook past the surface level. . 

But you know in their eyes, they’re right. Their daughter left their comfy home to pursue her lifelong dream, only for it to be broken in a matter of weeks. It’s natural to feel protective, and while you’re resilient and were able to get it together as of late, it wasn’t enough for them to understand. As someone who loves you, it’s obvious they’d want to blame your boss, blame Jungkook for your suffering. 

You imagine your father would ask Namjoon to step outside, or your parents would make Jimin pull you and Jungkook out. Neither of those things happen.

A warm, large hand is placed on top of yours. You look towards Jungkook, face unreadable as he squeezes your thigh. 

“Namjoon’s right.” Jungkook utters, pressing his lips together. “You deserve to be treated with respect. The boss has never appreciated the hard work you do, at least not out loud. You’re too good for him.”

“Jungkook,” you gape, putting your other hand over his. 

He pulls away at your touch, glancing at the clock. “This dinner was wonderful,” he says gently, looking apologetic to your parents. “Excuse me, but I promised to call my parents at this time.” 

The excuse is completely half-assed, but no one says anything as he leaves, walking out the door without a coat. The table is terse, with your parents attempting to coax out dessert while Jimin clears the dinner table. You refuse to look at Namjoon, who has no idea why you’re so upset. You wait five minutes before you mumble about getting Jungkook a jacket. 

However, when you open the door he isn’t sitting on the porch. He’s all the way up the street, too far for you to be heard with a yell, and walking farther into town. The black hoodie falls to your side, disappointed. 

Jungkook does in fact, call his parents. Your mother suggested it when she gave him the ring, thinking it would ease his homesickness if he made a better effort to communicate his feelings. 

And so he spends over an hour huddled in a cafe, talking about nothing and everything with his mom and dad. He tells them about the little novelties he’s experienced this week, like making popcorn strings and picking out themed Christmas ornaments. He tells him how he promises to book a flight back to Korea as soon as his work visa goes through. While he doesn’t mention the proposal, he mentions you. He prattles on and on about how strong and beautiful you are, and how you’ve crept up on him and made him realize how awful of a person he was. 

His mom prattles excitedly through the line, saying that women make you realize how much better you can be for them, but she doesn’t know the half of it. 

Jungkook sat there in your dining room, Namjoon boldly telling you off about how miserable he’s made you. 

And yet still, you defended him in ways he never imagined. Your relationship has always been mutual, and prickly at best. You balanced each other out, but he knows he doesn’t deserve you. When he first hired you, he rendered you indispensable like all the other assistants that couldn’t handle it. You’d break eventually. 

And you did break. But you picked up the pieces and put yourself back together, and you didn’t resent him for it. He hated that. How can you trust someone who’s hurt you so much? 

He can’t let you go through with this marriage. You’re wrong. You don’t need him to be successful. 

[11:09] You: mom unlocked the door for you. Jimin and i went out for drinks so idk when ill be back

[11:09] You: please don’t be mad at me

Silly girl, why would he ever be mad at you? 

His plan is simple, Sneak into your villa, grab his luggage, and try to book the earliest flight back to New York. Then, he can come clean to Taeyeon and spend the year in Korea while they work out his visa issues. He’ll quietly pack his things and clear out the office before Monday.  Hopefully by the time he makes it to Busan, he can forgive himself. He’s going to regret missing your expression when you get to hold the first physical copy of your novel. 

This plan proves difficult when he sees Namjoon waiting outside for him, sitting on his luggage and reading a book. His long legs are splayed across the porch, and he doesn’t spare Jungkook a glance.

“Knew something was off,” the older man doesn’t look up from his novel, “found the mug on her desk, bossman.” 

Muttering a curse under his breath Jungkook opens his arms, “Are you gonna beat me up now?” 

“What? No, I’m a lover, not a fighter.” Jungkook scoffs, and watches Namjoon roll his luggage to the back of the van. “And out of the kindness of my heart, I’ll save you the Lyft fare and drive you to the airport.” 

Is he that predictable? He flinches at the sudden jet of the ignition, and he takes heavy, snow-laden steps to the passenger seat. Once buckled in, Namjoon tosses the book in his lap. “Some light reading for the drive.” 

If Namjoon wasn’t the driver, he wouldn’t hesitate to chuck the book at his big, intelligent head. Instead, he glowers, clutching the book tightly. It’s only when they round the corner to a house brightly decorated with lights, does he see what novel Namjoon’s plucked. 

A Mutually-Assured Attachment. Jungkook tosses the book back and forth between his palms, noting the soft cover is so worn it could melt apart in his lap. It feels tended and loved from years of use. 

It’s Jungkook’s first novel, and you had a copy. One of the first editions, if he remembers the cover art correctly. Granted, he thought you had some of his books purely because of your job, but not one from your childhood. Frankly he thought this should have never been published, but he was nineteen and that in itself was a large feat. 

He carefully peels the pages, and takes out his phone to shine the flashlight mode. At the very front, blood red ink is scratched next to the title: “this is THE most pretentious title i’ve read in my life! Don’t disappoint me jeon!!” 

Your handwriting’s all over the place. He sees graphite, gel, and glitter pens mark the margins, as if you’ve come back each time to write something new. The annotations vary, from “this part sucks” to “shit, that’s good i should do that”. You draw little pictures of the objects he’s contrived, from the little brass locket one character cherishes to the facial expressions you imagine they hold. 

And at the very end, your handwriting sits neat and bold on the inside cover: I can do better than him. 

Jungkook chuckles to himself, turning off the light. You’re always right. 

Namjoon senses the younger one is done, and he clears his throat. “I really really don’t understand what she sees in you.” 

“I don’t understand either,” Jungkook agrees easily, his finger tracing your handwriting. He muses that you were always out to get him, even if you didn’t know it. 

Namjoon masks his surprise by clearing his throat. “But I’d rather seek to understand than live the rest of my life having my sister resent me. I don’t really know what you two are going through, but if she trusts you with her life, I’ll try. Emphasis on try.” 

“I don’t deserve your trust.” 

“You damn right you don’t,” succumbing to his impulses Namjoon makes a sharp turn, and Jungkook holds his stomach together before it flies out the window.  

You come home to find your room cold and barren. All of Jungkook’s things are gone, except your Christmas mug. 

You at least thought Jungkook would spare you a goodbye before he ditched you. You hoped you’d at least consider each other friends who provide explanations after all of this. 

Lifting the mug off the desk, you hear a little clink in the glass, the chime unfamiliar. Hurriedly, you pour out its contents. A heavy, tungsten black ring lands in your palm. You clench the metal between your fingers, hugging it to your chest. 

Mind made up, you dash out to the hallway, nearly bumping into your cousin. At the same time you and Jimin blurt, “We need to go to the airport.” 

Apparently Namjoon warned Jimin that something fishy’s going on. Namjoon didn’t know what, but he had the inkling that Jungkook was hiding something. Once Jimin received the text to meet them at the airport, he flung you in his sedan and floored it. Flushed with adrenaline, Jimin is speeding with a fervor you’ve never experienced. 

“Can you please, take the edge off and tell me what the hell is going on?” 

Just like how Jungkook didn’t want Big Hit to go down the drain, you didn’t want this week to be in vain. You can’t wait a year for Jungkook to come back, and you didn’t want to publish your first novel without him by your side. 

“Long version or short version?” 

“The in-the-middle version. I don’t think I have the brain capacity to absorb all your drama right now but I really need some answers.” 

“O-kay. Basically, Jungkook isn’t a Literary Agent. He’s my god-awful boss. Or was awful, I don’t know. Jungkook left the country before his work visa was fully processed. That’s a breach, so he needs to live in Korea for a year to come back. But he can’t run Big Hit remotely, so he proposed to marry me to attain citizenship.”

Your head whips to the dashboard and you cry out, barely stopping the impact with your hands.  

“Sorry, sorry!” Jimin’s eyes are focused on the red light, absolutely terrified. “Bitch, you’re committing fraud with your boss! You could go to jail, that’s like, the hottest love story ever!” 

“But he’s going back to Korea because now he suddenly realized he can forge basic human connection.” you mutter, “so no, we’re not going to jail because he’s decided to do the right thing.” 

“So what you’re saying is, Jungkook has achieved self-actualization and decided to peacefully move to Korea and sacrifice the company for you.” Jimin is carving his free hand in the air, gesturing wildly. “Don’t you see! He really likes you.”

“Yeah, so now we need to go to the airport and tell his dumbass this isn’t the time to be selfless.” 

Once you find a spot you’re rushing out of the car, weaving between carts and people to find the correct terminal. This airport is much smaller than JFK, so it’s easy for you to navigate and get past the TSA. It also helps that Jin’s wife is an attendant. 

“He chose the 1:45 flight in Terminal 31A,” Mijoo chirps from her tablet, leading you in the right direction. She’s dressed impeccably, the odds and ends of this airport glued together by her impeccable organization. She points to the clock, which glares a digital 1:18AM. “You have time.” 

“Thank you Mijoo,” you exhale gratefully, “and I’m so so sorry I skipped your wedding!” 

“This is the 300th time you’ve said it,” Mijoo rolls her eyes, pushing you and Jimin forward, “But I’ll make sure not to miss your wedding.” 

You’re sweating from your down jacket, and you can’t believe it’s really all come down to this. The one person you’ve spent the last two years of your life doting on, and you didn’t want to stop. You wanted him not just for the publication of your novel, but because you needed him. 

Jungkook’s sitting in the waiting area of Terminal 31A, looking wholly inconspicuous as he reads a book and has his hood propped up. 

Fists balled, you stride forward only to have Jimin tug you back. “What?” 

Jimin pulls off your thick coat, making haste to wipe the sweat off your brow with his sleeves and flatten your messy hair. “What?” he tilts his head to the side, “you need to look good before the big confrontation. I’m recording this for archival purposes. Do you have any lip balm by any chance? You look chapped.” 

You slap his hands away, but those grubby fingers just come back with a vengeance. “My life is just a big show to you, isn’t it?”

“Living vicariously all day, every day.” 

While Jimin parts your bangs, the intercom cuts through the air. 

“The 1:45 flight to John F. Kennedy International airport will now commence boarding. Please line up according to the ticket class.” 

Jimin smiles at you, squeezing your shoulders and gestures for you to go. To your horror, Jungkook is first in line. Panic bubbles to your throat.

“Jeon Jungkook!” you cry, voice echoing throughout the terminal. “If you so much breathe in the direction of that plane I will call Mark Lee right this second and tell him the book series is off!” 

Like a deer in the headlights, Jungkook heeds to your voice immediately. In his stupor you jog forward to snatch his wrist and pull him out of line. You don’t let go until you’re away from the long line, and Jungkook tugs his wrist away. 

“Don’t you dare call him,” Jungkook looks serious, as if you didn’t drive all the way to stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. “I will never forgive you if you terminate Mark Lee’s contract.” 

“And I won’t forgive you if you get on that plane.” 

Pain flashes in his eyes, and he shakes his head. “I need to. I can’t let us—let you go through with this. You and your family deserve better.” 

“What? Jungkook, I agreed to this just as much as you did.” 

“No, you didn’t.” he’s adamant, and steps back with every step you take forward. “As your boss I threatened you, held it over your head like an ultimatum. I’ve hurt you,” his voice cracks, looking at you desperately, “why would you want to be stuck with me when I’ve made your life miserable?” 

“If I really wanted to leave, I would’ve done it a long time ago.” You reason, “Do you really want to leave the company behind? To fucking Karen?” 

“Of course I don’t!” Jungkook exclaims, “but it isn’t worth hurting you, hurting your family and everyone that loves you.” 

“And what about you? You’ll be hurt when you leave,” and you step forward, so close that your chests are touching. You take hold of his hands, clutching them between your small ones. “Don’t go, stay with me in New York. We’ll both work hard and try to not run each other to the ground. Let’s be better together.” 

You’re practically begging, biting your lip raw and hoping Jungkook understands how good this change is for the both of you. 

Jungkook is conflicted, looking back and forth between the airline boarding for JFK and your watery eyes. He hates seeing you like this. He can’t imagine you, the strongest woman he’s ever met, crying because of him. Namjoon’s voice echoes in his mind and he tries to smash it to the edge of his memory. But as always, you’re right. 

He replaces your grip with his own, and gets down on one knee. 

Jungkook says your name like it's the sweetest of songs. You’ve never seen him so terrified. “y/n, I didn’t do it right the first time, so let me try again. Please, marry me. Marry me because I want to date you. I want to take you out and give you what you deserve, what we deserve. I want to do better for myself, do better for you. I’ve realized you’re the only person that makes me feel like I’m simultaneously on fire and on thin ice,” he pulls out a velvet box from his pocket, revealing a thin band with interlocking black and clear diamond studs. It’s a pretty little thing, with a groove in the center so it stacks perfectly with your engagement ring. “This was supposed to be your Christmas present, but I chickened out at the last second,” he says sheepishly, tucking his head in. “But if you let me put this ring on your finger, I promise to be your home away from home.”  

With a sob you fall to your knees, throwing yourself onto Jungkook. A small “oof” escapes his lips, and he struggles to hold your waist so you both don’t topple over. “Yes, yes, yes!” you cry, pulling away to cup his face with both hands, pulling him into a sweet kiss. 

Jungkook’s smile takes up his entire face, and he eagerly pecks your lips one more time before ripping the ring from its holder and stacking it on top of your engagement ring. The teardrop diamond is nestled perfectly between the thinner band’s V. “Pretty,” he says, pressing his forehead to yours. 

“Wait,” you pull out the black ring that you found in your room, holding it to his face. “I’m assuming this is yours?” 

“Yeah,” he replies, “your mother said it was your great grandfather’s. It’s not an engagement ring, but it’s the thought that counts.” 

“It matches,” you hum, placing his simpler band in his ring finger. Once it’s on, you take a deep breath. “Shit, we’re really doing this?” 

Jungkook pulls you to stand, wiping the happy tears from your cheek. “We are, we’re a team, remember? We’ve crossed the line and we gotta finish it.” 

And he picks you up, the workouts definitely paying off as he spins you around like you’re the leads in La-La Land, drunk off the happy chemicals firing in your brain. Jimin whoops and hollers, along with all the other patrons in the vicinity of the airport terminal. 

Your real-fiancé puts you down, the both of you now hyperconscious of the stares people give you. Other people have filmed the proposal as well, completely smitten by your confessions. 

“Jungkook,” you giggle into his shoulder, “you were right. Our story is straight out of a Wattpad entry.” 

“Down to the super cheesy in-public airport proposal?” he chimes, pressing his forehead to yours. “Couldn’t have asked for a better love story.” 

“I can’t wait to fall in love with you,” you whisper, quiet enough for his ears only, “for real, this time.” 

“Not that it’s a challenge,” he teases softly, “but I’m already halfway there.” 

some months later.

“Like the new office, boss lady?” your new assistant (yes, you have an assistant!) asks kindly, his bubbly presence uplifting you immediately. He leads you to the window box, filled with tiny plants. “I figured you like succulents, because you have no time to water them and they’re prickly like you.” 

“Very funny, Seungkwan.” you chide good-naturedly, picking up a succulent with a yellow flower in the middle. “But thank you, your interior design skills are outmatched. I can’t wait to work with you.” 

“Me too, your social commentary you published on the literary industry? And you managed to lace it all up in an inconspicuous fantasy novel?” Seungkwan boasts, “I applied for this position right then and there.” 

“Thanks Seungkwan, why don’t you take your lunch and we’ll meet back at one to discuss our plans for next week.” 

“Sounds good, do you want me to pick you up something?” 

“I’m good, I’m meeting with the bossman.” 

Seungkwan gives you that look, his lips jutting out in a suggestive manner that almost makes you burst into giggles. Your assistant decides not to bother you until after you’ve eaten, and bids you goodbye. 

Just when you get a moment of peace, a handsome face pokes his way inside. “Hello editor,” Jungkook knocks on your door for the sake of attention, but you’re already dragging him into the office and shutting the door tight. “Like your new office?” 

“Love it,” you moan, gesturing to Seungkwan’s light filtering curtains. They’re not dark, rather a tasteful sea green, but they’re opaque enough to stop wandering eyes from peeking into your space. Your personal space was a qualm that immediately needed to be mended after your experience in Jungkook’s office. “A lot more private than your office.” 

“A little part of me hates how much you deserve this promotion,” he sits on your desk, and doesn’t hesitate to pull you between his legs, letting you lean into his chest, “but I do love the added privacy.” 

You fiddle with the buttons of his navy collar, his strong thighs trap you between him, “Why, miss me already?” 

He shrugs, “Taehyung doesn’t look as good as you do in a pencil skirt.” 

You laugh, brushing the strands of hair that fall from his coiff. “No one looks as good as I do in a pencil skirt.” A firm grip confirms that, two strong hands cupping your backside. “Mr. Jeon!” you gasp playfully, pushing him away slightly to pinch his cheeky grin. “Can we save this for later? I’m hungry, but we can always continue this for dessert.” 

He groans in your neck, “Love the sound of that, Mrs. Jeon.” 

bonus.

“FUUUCCCKKKKKK YEEAAHHHHH!” Park Jimin’s voice bounces off the walls of Taeyeon’s office, his face taking up the entire screen of his desktop as the camera shifts harshly between him and you and Jungkook at the airport. “My cousin’s not going to jail! WOO!” 

Taeyeon pauses the YouTube video at a particularly unflattering screencap: Jimin’s nostrils are flaring wildly and he looks fairly high mid-scream. 

A low whistle escapes Jungkook’s lips, “Wow. That video’s viral,” he looks to you appreciatively, “if Jimin kicks off his YouTube career, you think we can milk a memoir outta him?” 

“Potentially,” you reply nonchalantly, playing with your rings. 

“So,” Taeyeon’s voice is icy, slashing between your casual conversation, “you’re getting married, for real this time?” 

“Yep,” Jungkook pops. 

“Alright,” and from her desk she pulls out an ungodly stack of documents, one that mirrors your own back at the office. “Jungkook, you’ll stay with me. y/n, you’ll go to Vernon’s office and he’ll give you the same spiel. We’ll interview you privately with the same questions. A hair out of place and you’re in trouble. You sure you want to go through with this?” 

You and Jungkook exchange looks, betting your own company that you got this in the bag. 

“Hit us with your best shot.” 

[jess-the-vampire]

Sooooo whatya think of the new episodeee?

Oh it’s definitely my favorite episode of the series so far, i was having such a good time at every turn. I’m glad i went out of my way to avoid spoilers, cause i was glad to actually be surprised by some elements on first watch.

I think this had by far the best opening for an episode so far, we finally get back to the villians, we meet the coven heads, we get insight on belos’s plans-

and then belos gets constipated, which starts getting into the more character driven lore, which is the best part. You instantly can tell GG and Kiki have some bit of tension between them to be Belo’s favorite, though granted i wonder if hunter is the only one to know belos is cursed and actually just always insists to help belos with his fits to prevent others from seeing them.

Including kiki.

It’s honestly unclear how aware anyone is that belos is cursed, like him eating pailsmans is apparently not something he hides, but like....i feel him being cursed is something that people would know universally if it got out...so i’m left wondering if anyone knows besides hunter.

Regardless, belos turns into a goop monster with an angry side, and i guess his mask doesn’t transform with him compared to the rest of his body so he breaks it again because i guess he goes though masks like crazy.

Hunter turns away in this scene from his outburst and even though he’s masked here i can already tell he’s most likely pained in these scenes. Like he’s probably seen this happen so many times, and i can’t imagine it gets any easier for him, it’s probably awful to watch belos suffer like this for him (Regardless of the abuse)

And to be honest, it seems pretty painful for him, i think this ep seems to at least confirm whatever this thing is that takes over belos’s body.....belos never actually wanted it in the first place. 

Yeah so after Hunter tells belos there’s not enough trees to medicate him anymore, we’re hit with the “UNCLE”. Which, when i first watched it i needed a second to even process the fact they confirmed their relation.

and i was like “CLOSE ENOUGH”, not his kid but uncle still works just fine for me, i’m just happy my assumption they were related actually came to ahead.

And i rewatched this episode a few times, and on second watch i realized more what happened in this scene. Hunter was talking about his interest in wild magic, and making more pailsman to help belos, and some method that could heal him and as soon as belos looked at him he instantly shut down.

He was clearly rambling about wild magic cures for belos because of his interest in it, and then suddenly remembered his uncle hates wild magic and felt super awkward.

It seems highly likely his interest in wild magic came from trying to cure belos and spending a lot of time reading up on the stuff. 

And then we get hit with the whole “Our family is dead because of wild magic” line, which.....i’m curious to know what happened there. But it does at least explain why belos feels how he does, if wild magic both killed his family beside hunter AND cursed him in the first place. We’re just gonna need more info on what exactly happened.

Also while Belos is def abusive and does not treat hunter how he should, this scene actually does read off to me like belos does care about hunter to some degree. If belos is cursed and his curse works in similar ways to how Eda’s curse works, then it’s worth reminding ppl that eda mentions early this season how stress can amplify the curse even more.

And sure enough, belos goes goopy on hunter’s shoulder all of a sudden when he grasps him. Which could be considered a sign of stress and that the idea of hunter dying or being in danger actually does stress him.

You could very much also assume this is just due to his curse not being fully handled and just getting worse, or that belos only cares about hunter for selfish reasons....but i’m not taking anything off the table here.

Belos can still be a shitty uncle, and still care about hunter, these aren’t mutually exclusive traits. But we need more episodes for now on this.

But anyways he asks hunter if he can rely on him, kiki is pissed......and we move on.

So i’m glad luz’s impulsiveness is addressed a ton in this episode, they actually bring up a lot of good points. That luz has no plan, that the time she’s spending here might render moot if she goes back to earth, ect ect.

Hunter even calls her out a lot later for not thinking things through, it’s a whole deal in this episode. I’m glad it was brought up cause it’s actually worth asking a lot of these things.

the set up here works, they actually made a good reason for why a pailsman didn’t bond with her. Speaking of which the adoption thing is cute and i love it, it’s a great idea. The designs are all very cute and fun.

Bump face reveal was a lot for me to process, but i find the idea of his pailsman being a pet that can help with his disabilities a good idea.

Also like, i did find it odd that they got staffs so early because we’ve never seen kids their ages with them before, but i guess it’s a new tradition? Does everyone at hexside now have one?

Honesty not sure why batqueen left the nest there overnight, i meant i guess she assumed they were safe with that shield but in context i dunno why she didn’t take them home after the school day was over.

but whatever, luz stays there overnight hoping  a pailsman will bond with her and GG just kidnapps them cause of pure luck on his part a bunch of pailsman were in a vulnerable spot tonight.

So GG continues to be charming, by whistling the theme song and then being blasted off his ship hilariously, before cockily teleporting himself right back on it seconds later. Like he and luz have great banter, he’s so extra like this it’s so funny, and god he’s so FAST with that staff it’s scary but so awesome.

Yeah so then hand dragon crashes them and i was so excited cause it meant face reveal. Poor dude looked so in pain and then we find out kiki tried to effing murder him because of course she did. But like, i think killing your boss’s nephew is the WORST way to get a promotion tbh.

(Also i got confused for a bit cause his mask has always been drawn as a mask, but now it’s a helmet in this scene for whatever reason but-)

Anyways, face reveal, Like honestly ppl weren’t too far off with their guesses, really the only thing people didn’t get was the tooth gap (That was fair tho, we couldn’t have guessed that). But it did make him even cuter.

like the banter is funny, he licks her hand, she slaps him, he looks SO pissed at her for this mess.

and i guess that outfit is his under armor apparently.

He’s lucky she didn’t run away immediately and followed him, but maybe he assumed she would since she had no where else to go.

Also his expressions in this ep are glorious, these had to be fun to draw.

Also we find out that the coven team members have never seen his face i guess? They just assume he’s a silly kid and are awful to him, so i guess he’s not only the youngest member of the coven but he never really shows his face much.

(”Call your parents”, ha ha.....whose gonna tell them who his uncle is?)

He is however, REALLY good at parkour and he’s fast even without his staff, so he’s well trained alright.

And then they reveal he’s not magical and i was SO happy cause i was so sure something was up when he wasn’t doing magic like the other witches despite his pointy ears. So they outright confirmed what i thought.

Hunter is pretty smart tho, like he can tell luz wouldn’t hurt him and wouldn’t flee so he knows he has the high ground here. Like he might be being a bit of a dick, but to be fair luz has been nothing but a dick to him throughout the whole episode (Everyone in this episode has been a dick to him tbh)

They team up and i get excited cause i love this kinda stuff and it gets more wholesome because hunter is super interested in her magic, he thinks it’s cool and you can tell how much he actually loves wild magic but then again...shuts himself down because of belos making him fear the stuff.

An then because luz asks, he tells her his backstory.

honestly with how this world treats people who aren’t magically powerful, living and growing up in a world that would find you useless sounds....awful. Hunter must be an anomaly around here, human blood or not.

Luz coming here to learn is different then growing up in a world and being the only one with no abilities and no future without them. Belos provides him with magic and a future, it’s no wonder he stays with him despite everything.

the whole “Found me” thing is weird, cause belos implies they’re blood related and hunter makes it sound like belos semi-adopted him. Which....if he did i dunno why “Uncle” and not “Adopted dad”, but ok....guess that’s for later.

Apparently hunter is important for something tho with the “Titan has big plans for me” thing, not sure what, but-

But yeah as soon as Hunter talked about wanting to make his own future and Rascal tried to land on him i knew EXACTLY where this was going, it was so cuteeeeee. The lil birb wanted to be with hunter, that’s so wholesome.

And he’s so terrified because of belos and what wild magic did to him, the poor bab.

But yeah, luz then trusts him with his staff back, because again....impulsive. But hunter does actually ask if she’s sure, so he might as well be asking if she trusts him.

The plan goes ahead, and hunter nearly betrays her.

though granted, hunter never promised her he’d stop and let her take them away, the truce was supposed to last till kiki was stopped and they were gonna fight out who got the pailsman. But it does bother luz cause she was hopeful he was better then this.

But just like he did before, she calls him out and he doesn’t betray her, because he’s ALSO too nice to do it, just like he said she was. He says his name (Which also took a moment to process), and then beats the crap out of kiki while letting luz get away and protecting her like a badass.

He might not have magic, but he’s good at fighting

like he can easily teleport to luz and take the pailsman, but he doesn’t, he lets them get away and luz knows this. Even though she also knows hunter has to go back to the emperor too and they have to separate.

It’s only slightly bitter terms, because in the end he came through for her and she knows it.

honestly, the worst part is i can’t even be mad at hunter for it, i’m sure he was terrified to fail belos. Both because he loves him and doesn’t want him to suffer....but also because of well...being punished. Really says something when his near betrayal doesn’t even make me mad at him, and i can understand why he nearly did it.

He let her go, knowing he’d be in SERIOUS trouble and that it would hurt someone he actually loves, so....ouch.

so yeah at this point i knew rascal wanted him so it was only of matter of what happened next.

Which was, luz getting the wood, which i like more anyway. Eda and King doing this offscreen and coming home like this is actually very funny, and honestly i appreciate the message of it being ok to wait.....means a lot to me.

yeah so belos is like...being an ass, like the kid tried his hardest, you don’t need to hit him with the “Is this the thanks i get?”. He’s a kid and he’s trying to cure you you dick, give him a break he doesn’t remotely have to help you like this.

Also apparently belos has not even told hunter HOW this happened, like...dude. Hunter is trying to be entirely reasonable here and belos spikes at him, which does imply some physical abuse though the only reason hunter doesn’t get a new scar is because he moves.

but how he reacts implies this has happened before, he is bracing for impact and he flinches. It’s pretty sad tbh, especially since hunter loves him and belos’s respect means something to him.

Belos is such an idiot, like c’mon dude, hunter is trying to help you and you don’t listen to him you dick. Kid shouldn’t have to say sorry for anything he did nothing wrong, he was just trying to help.

Anyways, he gloats at kiki (So at the very least she knows what he looks like under the mask), which he deserves a chance to do anyway. So i guess he didn’t rat her out for trying to kill him, personally my guess why is blackmail.....he was gonna hold it over her head to keep her from doing it again and threaten to tell belos.

But kiki quickly tells he LET the pailsman get away since he was the one to fight her (Curse his cute loose hair strand). So i guess now they have dirt on each other, so that’s fun.

His room is adorable, though the med kit by the bed is concerning.

Rascal comes for him and it;s so cute....though you can tell hunter nearly hurts him on instinct because of force of habit, but it’s so cute how he cares and how the birb loves him and is his new staff.

it was well hinted to as well, it’s so subtle, but the bird being cheery, curious, and his constant habit of escaping boundaries was perfect for hunter. He represents what hunter wants to be and why they got matched is done so well, all without explaining anything.

Hunter indirectly stated his deepest wish, to make his own choices, and rascal resonated with that. 

can’t wait to see where this goes.

great ending shot, love me some conflicted shots looking out of windows like trapped birds.

also this title was a pun the whole time i can’t-

[naturallytom]

Little Things (Tom Holland x reader)

a/n: this is for @rosyparkers​ writing challenge!! italics are flashbacks, bold is the prompt!! again i hope u enjoy this im sorry it’s been like 10 years since i’ve posted something lmao also big thank u to @sunshinehollandd​ for reading this over!!

warnings: a lil angst, scared of opening up/being vulnerable, other than that it’s fluffy fluff 

prompt: “Do you want to know the hardest thing about having a soulmate? It’s not the separation in the beginning, not the endless nights lying awake, hoping and praying that someone was made for you. It’s…it’s the love. It’s too strong, and you can’t fight it. I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried…but I’m always going to love you. And I need you to know that.”

“You ready, my love?” Tom held his hand out to you as the dj announced it was time for your first dance, his brown eyes radiating a type of warmth that brought you comfort when you needed it most. You placed your hand in his and allowed him to guide the two of you to the dance floor, his hands going to your waist while you wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” He asked, his voice so soft only you could hear it. 

“Only a million times.” You smiled, hiding your face in his neck. It amazed you that even after years of dating he still had that effect on you. 

“I’ll tell you a million more times, then.” He smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your head. “You look absolutely beautiful.”

“Not so bad yourself.” You replied, a small smile on your lips as your mind wandered to when you first met Tom and how far you came with him. 

“What are you thinking about?” Tom chuckled. 

“How do you know I’m thinking about something?” 

“You have that look on your face. The one you make when you’re deep in thought.” He told you, pressing another kiss to your head. “Everything okay?” 

“Mhmm. Just thinking about how far we’ve come.” You told him honestly. 

“We have come a long way, huh?” He smiled. “Remember when we first met?” 

“How could I forget?” You chuckled, your mind replaying the day you met him as if it was yesterday. 

The first snowfall of the season and you were in your room studying for an exam. Not ideal at all but you had this big exam coming up that you just couldn’t fail so you had to study as much as you could-

“y/n?” Your roommate poked her head into your room, a hopeful smile on her face. “How much studying do you have to do?”

“Ermm a lot, why?” You asked, flipping through your study guide so far. 

“Was thinking we could go out in the snow, at least for a little bit?” She grinned. 

“I don’t know, I still have a lot of studying to do-” 

“You’ve been studying all day! Come on, you need a break.” She argued, making you sigh. 

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to take a quick break. But only for a little bit!” You gave in, making your roommate cheer as the two of you got ready to brace the cold winter air. 

“It’s so pretty.” Your roommate said, her voice almost a whisper as the two of you took in the scene while you walked to the nearby park. 

Light, fluffy snow fell from the sky, landing softly on the ground around you as well as on your faces. For a moment when you looked up at the night sky, seeing glimpses of the stars and the snow falling, all your worries and obligations washed away, bringing on a sense of peace. 

The two of you arrived at the park, seeing other people there, all enjoying the snow. People were making snow angels and snow men, while others were having a snowball fight. 

“Hey check this out!” You roommate called, laying down in the snow and making a snow angel, sitting up when she was done. “How’s it look?”

“Not bad.” You laughed, bending down and molding some snow into a ball. “But unfortunately this snowball is too good not to be thrown and you’re the target so..”

Your roommate stood up and fortunately for her but unfortunately for you, she moved out of your way right as you let go of the snowball, allowing it to crash into the man right behind her. 

“Oh shit!” You gasped as he turned around, a look of confusion and slight amusement on his face while your roommate was hysterically laughing off to the side. “I’m so sorry!”

“That meant to be for her?” He chuckled, making you nod. 

“I’m so sorry, I tried to throw it at her but she moved at the last minute and-”

“Hey don’t worry about it.” He assured you. “I’m Tom.” 

“y/n.” You replied. “Really is there any way I could make it up to you?”

“Really it’s fine.” He laughed. “But I am getting cold so I was gonna go across the street and get a tea, if you’d like to join.”

“Sure, but I’m paying for yours.” You insisted, making Tom smile. 

“Pretty sure I’m supposed to pay for yours.” He tried, but you shook your head.

“No, no. It’s my treat. I’m the one who hit you with a snowball, after all.” 

“You looked so cute that night. The snow was falling and sticking to your eyelashes and the moonlight was hitting you just right. God, you looked like an angel. Still look like an angel.” He sighed. 

“Yeah an angel who didn’t let you in for a long ass time.” You chuckled. “‘M not sure what you did but you made me open up to the idea of being vulnerable and open to someone else. I hadn’t really done that before you.”

It had been almost eight months since the snowball incident and to your surprise, Tom was your (very caring) boyfriend. It sort of came as a shock to you when he asked you to be his girlfriend. You definitely had strong feelings for him, no doubt about it. But you weren’t good about expressing them. Tom liked to talk about his and open up his heart to you while you liked to keep your heart guarded and show you cared with smaller actions. 

Tom was patient, though. He was patient and caring and understanding and it made your heart swell within your chest to the point that you weren’t even sure if you could keep it to yourself. He didn’t rush you into opening up or being vulnerable, but he noticed the small smile that formed on your lips whenever you showed him a song or meme that reminded you of him. He noticed the way your eyes sparkled with pride when you successfully made his favorite meal to surprise him after a long day. 

You noticed the little things Tom did too. Like how he always took off his jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders if you were out on a date and you got cold. Or how he always offered to walk or drive you home before you moved in and if he couldn’t or if you drove yourself, he would tell you to drive safe and to text him when you got home. 

“All those little things you did just made me fall even more in love with you.” He laughed softly. “Maybe I rubbed off on you a little bit.” 

“Maybe.” You sighed, your head resting gently on his shoulder. “You told me you loved me all the time, it probably rubbed off on me little by little until I said it.” 

A year and a half after a snowball resulted in you meeting the man of your dreams, you and Tom were still going strong, but you were scared. Tom had told you he loved you so many times yet you couldn’t find yourself to say those three little words back. 

“I love you.” He would say. “You’re my soulmate.” 

You loved him, you know you did. But despite Tom telling you all the time how much he loves you and that you were his soulmate, you were still scared. What if you said it and he rejected you? What if the two of you broke up and you were open and vulnerable for no reason? 

It happened one night when you were laying in bed, your head resting on Tom’s chest, playing with hands, lost in thought. 

“What’s on your pretty little mind, hm?” He murmured, pressing his lips to your forehead softly. 

“Nothing.” Lie. You were actually thinking about how much you loved him and how lucky you were to have him in your life, but the thought of opening up like that terrified you. You fell in love the way you fall asleep, slowly and then all at once. 

“Do you want to know the hardest thing about having a soulmate? It’s not the separation in the beginning, not the endless nights lying awake, hoping and praying that someone was made for you. It’s…it’s the love. It’s too strong, and you can’t fight it. I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried…but I’m always going to love you. And I need you to know that.” He said softly, as if he could read your mind. 

“How do you know you’ll always love me, though?” You asked. “That’s a long time.”

“Darling I fall more in love with you every day.” He chuckled. 

“It’s just,” you started, not thinking about the words that left your mouth next. “I do love you but I’m scared. I don’t like being vulnerable like that, you know this.” 

Tom paused before he let out a soft laugh, a sense of ‘I knew it’ mixed with confusion taking over your body. 

“What?” You asked, starting to get mildly defensive. 

“Baby you just said you loved me.” He smiled, making your eyes widen. 

“I did?”

“Mhmm. Also said you were scared and didn’t like being vulnerable.” He mumbled against your head, his thumb rubbing over your knuckles softly. “Being vulnerable is what makes us human, lovey. ‘S okay to open yourself up, especially to me.” 

“What if you didn’t feel the same way?” You glanced up at him, a small smile on his lips. “What if we broke up?”

“Neither of those are even possibilities.” He assured you. “I love you too much.” 

You paused before responding. “I love you too.”

As the song came to an end, you found yourself overwhelmed with love and felt tears involuntarily fill your eyes. Tom frowned lightly when he saw the tears, pausing to hold your face in his hands gently, concern in his eyes.

“What’s wrong, hm? Regret marrying me already?” He teased, making you laugh softly. 

“No. ‘M just really happy. I really love you. Don’t think I’ll ever stop.” You murmured, the concern and frown on Tom’s face being replaced with pure love and adoration. 

“Good, darling, because you’re stuck with me forever now.” He replied.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

_______________________________________________________________________

please rb/leave feedback!!

tagging some mutuals: @daydreamparker​ @angelic-holland​ @moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown​

[alittlebitgoofy]

if i had my way i would be yours - chapter two (taywhora)

i’m pretty proud of manaing to keep to the deadline (mostly i mean it just hit tuesday and i said late last week but it’s basically monday and been a lil over a week) 

this chapter is fun, tayce and her journey with denail and internalised homophobia

ao3 link

“You cunt! Why’d you blue shell me!” A’whora huffed, placing her controller on the table before directing her attention to Tayce. 

“You hit me first, you little hound! I swear, it was like four red shells!” 

“Yeah, but you were ahead of me,” A’whora whined, her frown beginning to form into a pout as Tayce stared at her with a raised eyebrow. “You were first, not my fault.”

A’whora was cute when she was angry. Video games lit up her competitive streak more than anything, leading her to pout and whine whenever she was beaten. Her complaints were currently directed at Tayce, who’d narrowly beaten her in the last race. Bimini watched them with a bemused grin, the more tayce tried to calm her, the more A’whora pouted.

Tayce tried to hold back her amusement, though seeing A’whora turn away from her with an exaggerated huff made her break character, wrapping an arm around her shoulders with a laugh. The blonde squeaked as she was pulled in, quickly wrapping her arms around Tayce and leaning her head on her shoulder.

“You got lucky,” she murmured into Tayce’s chest, curling into her arms further around her waist as the taller girl ruffled her hair. “You’re so competitive, just accept you lost, you little idiot.” “Can you two stop flirting and move so we can do the next race?” Lawrence shook her head, turning to Ellie to mutter something into her ear. The taller woman snickered, catching the attention of the pair, quietly separating before going back to playing.

Tayce shook it off, remarks like that weren’t something that bothered her. Their relationship wasn’t like that, she didn’t like girls, and A’whora was like a sister to her. 

So why did her heart beat faster at the blush on the blonde’s face, why did she need to watch her flusteredly trying to play it off and failing miserably?

She’d always thought A’whora was cute, anyone with eyes would have. Something about her drew Tayce in the moment they met; the way she pouted when anything slightly didn’t go her way, how she laughed at her own jokes, the way her eyes lit up when Tayce laughed at something she said, her dimples showing as she grinned. 

She could admire the beauty of her friend without it meaning anything, right? 

“Tayce! The game is starting!” Tayce snapped her attention back to a giggling A’whora, gesturing to the screen with a shake of her head. 

Fuck, the game. Why did she agree to play again? Ellie had subbed out for Bimini, the five of them somehow making the four player game work. Tayce tried to shake her thoughts, focusing on beating A’whora, hearing her whine about Tayce cheating one more time, both of them knowing she was better at the game but not wanting to say it. 

---

Tayce spent the rest of the time trying to act cool. No one seemed to notice anything off, too attentive on the game and the comments that the loser would always drop, denying a lack of skill and saying it was the game. 

Bimini was too caught up texting their girlfriend to try and swap in to play, it slightly irked Tayce to see people happy in a relationship. Though she’d never say it, it stung knowing she lacked something to get that from anyone. Everything she tried failed, what was she lacking that everyone else seemed to have? 

The more she pondered it she became away from the ongoing tension with Lawrence and Ellie. It was clear something was going to happen soon. The way their attention went to each other instantly. 

They had each other, the idiots just didn’t realise it quite yet. 

A’whora was the only one like her, though she never understood why. She was perfect, sweet, but not afraid to stand up for herself. She was funny, quick witted to a scary extent. She always knew the right thing to say to get Tayce bursting into laughter, though her insults would sting like nothing else, she always knew where to strike. Not too bad to turn people on her, but harsh enough to shake up the person it was directed at. 

The blonde caught onto Tayce’s introspection, quietly moving to grab her hand and making the brunette jump in the process. 

“You’re thinking too hard again, aren’t you?” A’whora titled her head as Tayce turned away, denial. Great. 

“I’m fine, I'm just bored,” she muttered out a response, knowing neither of them believed it, but attempting it anyway. A’whora saw straight though her, grumbling at the lack of proper response before moving closer to her. Her arms found their way around her waist soon after and Tayce had to fight the dopey smile coming to her face from the affection.

“Don’t let them get to you, you’ll find the right person, it just takes time. I haven’t, have I? You’re not alone.” Her tone turned softer, whispering so only Tayce would hear her. 

“Yeah, thanks Rory.” Tayce gave a small, genuine smile, wrapping her arms around her waist back to pull her into another hug with the attention off of them for the time being. 

“I’m still better at mario kart than you, though,” Tayce giggled at the exaggerated pout on A’whora’s lips at the quip. 

She knew she messed up the moment, but it felt too good to see A’whora giggling, her dimple showing enough to make anyone squeal in how adorable she was. 

“We’ve won a similar amount of games! Don’t discount me there, lass!” Tayce just shrugged, holding back her laugh at the pout on A’whora’s face, turning her attention around them to see Bimini looking at them with a raised eyebrow, their eyes flickering back to their phone briefly before continuing to watch them in interest. 

Ellie and Lawrence were thankfully too distracted in playfully insulting each other; it made A’whora and her look tame in comparison to how much they unwittingly flirted. At least it kept the attention off of them, Tayce gestured to whatever they were up to, and Bimini let out a laugh at the mess of them just before figuring out their feelings were mutual. 

The games kept going, keeping the thoughts away for that much longer. She was acutely aware of how A’whora started to lean against her, grumbling when Tayce attempted to move. She huffed more at losses, not deflecting it with jokes as she had been an hour before. Everyone had started to quieten down now, A’whora just happened to be more grouchy than the others the more time passed. 

It wound down as Bimini announced the last game, A’whora having given up playing a while ago to lean against Tayce and mindlessly scroll through her phone. Someone commented on her being suddenly antisocial, to which she just grumbled and turned to Tayce for defence. “She’s just grumpy cause she’s tired, don’t mind her,” Tayce quipped, getting a laugh from their friends as A’whora groaned next to her. “Oh fuck off, you’re supposed to stick up for me.” “You’re like a child who’s up past their bedtime,” Tayce deadpanned, A’whora rolling her eyes at the statement though still stayed leant against her roommate. 

They’d made it home soon after. A'whora was scarily quiet, though Tayce knew it was because she’d spent too much time with people and exhausted herself mentally. She didn’t bother her, only sliding her hand over hers when they got into the uber to get home.

“Are you going to bed now?” Tayce questioned as they got in, A’whora turning to look at her quizzically before responding. “Not right now, I’m going to get into bed and go on my phone for a bit until I fall asleep.” She shrugged, voice laced with tiredness she wasn’t willing to admit to. “Alright, I’m going to play some games until I feel tired, don’t stay up too late. I know how pissy you get when you don’t sleep enough.” “I do not!” A’whora shook her head, laughing as Tayce shot her a look of shock at the denial. Tayce’s presence made her relax, not feeling the social exhaustion so much when she engaged in conversation. “You absolutely do, and don’t try to deny it. You better not be up by the time I go to bed.” “I doubt I will be, but never say never.”

They bid each other good night, Tayce turning to her room to hook up her xbox and play some more. It kept her brain occupied letting the previous thoughts wash away. She didn’t know what had come over her, but it was something she’d shake off soon enough. It took an hour of online playing for her to start to feel the fatigue, turning it off and stretching before going to move to her bed. She remembered A’whora, wondering if she was still awake. It was getting late, and if she wasn’t asleep by now then tomorrow would be a long day. Curiously, she went to check, poking her head round her door to see a sleeping A’whora with her phone on her chest.

Of course the idiot forgot to put it on charge. Tayce laughed silently, moving to put it on charge to avoid the complaints she’d hear the next morning. Tayce felt her eyes linger on her asleep roommate. She knew it was weird to look at her sleeping, but she looked so peaceful, curled up in her duvet with her face half buried in her pillows. She was adorable while awake, this felt like something she shouldn’t get to see, A’whora fully relaxed and cozy in her bed. The brunette left soon after, confused about the lingering image of how adorable A’whora was in her brain. The warmth in her chest prevailed as she started to fall asleep, something in her wishing she could hold A’whora as she slept. Be close to her when she was that relaxed and vulnerable.

She couldn’t think too hard on it before she was asleep, only hoping whatever was going on would pass within a few days.

She never looked at A’whora like that, why would she start now? 

[decayandcremate]

how poly-bakusquad Got Together(TM)

they all kinda felt like they were dancing around each other

like, kaminari and mina have always been flirty with all of them

the whole dynamic of the group was always touchy, cuddly, regardless of how much bakugou complained or shinsou startled by it

they did everything together anyway

after. so fucking long. it’s a group hang out, it’s nearly 2am, bakugou has been asleep since 9pm, the rest are up whispering together

kirishima asks kaminari, if he could date anyone in their class, who would it be?

and kaminari gets all flustered and he’s like, “honestly i’d date any/all of you guys”

and then bakugou cracks an eye open and grumbles, “dumbass, we’re already dating”

and the other six are just fucking

floored

what?? bakugou. katsuki. kacchan. what the fuck do you MEAN

and bakugou grumps and groans about the fact that they’re being loud and he just wants to sleep

“fucking idiots, we’ve been together for months now. we hold each other’s hands all the time and do everything together. what the fuck was platonic about last week’s movie night??? go the fuck to sleep.”

huh, sero says, i guess we kind of have

and they all kinda collectively are like, yeah, alright, he’s got a point. because there’s been this kind of charged undercurrent between them all for a while now

kaminari, of course, then takes the opportunity to kiss his new boyfriends/girlfriends

possible alternative:

this, except jirou and shinsou aren’t necessarily immediately part of the relationship

they take a lil more time

kaminari and mina are the ones to ask jirou to date them, but the other three boys are also there, to show their own interest and to give mina/kami moral support

jirou is blushy about it (success!) and is like, yeah, okay

shinsou feels like an outsider most of the time, so he doesn’t really expect to ever find himself part of a squad, let alone in a relationship with six people?

but then kaminari denki exists. and who hasn’t had a crush on kirishima? and sero is checking him out a lot, and he kinda has been checking out sero back, and mina is always touching him but not disrespecting boundaries, and jirou is really cool and relaxing to be around, and he’s never really been afraid of bakugou’s “loud and angry” front, so they already have a kind of mutual respect and interest

so one night when all seven are hanging out, eating dinner, bakugou looks across the table at shinsou (because bakugou has always been the best with bluntness, when it comes to this kind of thing) and he’s just like

yo, caffeine deficiency, you know this is a date, right?

and shinsou gets kinda flustered bc he’s like???? why did you let me crash a date what the fuck

and kaminari and sero hit him with those thousand-watt smiles and are like, no, no, you are part of this date. we are trying to date you.

and shinsou smiles just. a lil bit. just a lil smile.

oh, okay. yeah. alright.

some relationship dynamics (which probs show my own personal mono-ship favorites)

shinsou is most comfy with kaminari, but he warms up to the other five at a fair pace

mina/jirou/sero/kami are a solid quartet

everyone wants kirishima’s attention all the time (usually bakugou wins by simply sitting on kirishima before anyone else can)

kaminari gives bakugou the most physical affection, though. baku/kami/shin are the three most touch-starved and therefore the three most tactile (even if baku and shin won’t really admit it aloud. they’re grateful for their touchy S/Os)

jirou just isn’t as much of a fan of physical affection as the others, not because she’s touch-starved but because she just isn’t too touchy

everyone is okay with that though and respects her boundaries

kaminari is the one that spends the most equal amount of individual time with all of them, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t one-on-one or three interactions between all of them

once they found shinsou and bakugou cuddling and it’s mina’s lockscreen now

kirishima surprisingly needs alone time periodically. he’s a social butterfly but even extroverts need to recharge sometimes

shin/jirou are the opposite, introverts who need socializing sometimes

sero is an ambivert and easily bounces between seeing all six of them 24/7 and only getting to see them in class/training

kaminari deals with loneliness the worst out of them all, so even when everyone is busy/needs alone time, they all are willing to spend at least a little time with kaminari whenever they can, or eat meals with him, or will text him and have meme wars with him from the comfort of their own rooms

(usually though, he and mina are on-par with each other and can be together when the rest of their S/Os are re-charging their social batteries)

[angeltrapz]

SAW ASK!!!!!! 💞 n ee wayz as far as Eric/Adam goes i wld love to hear yr thoughts on how their relationship looks @ th very beginning when Eric still v v fresh in his recovery (obvs we’ve talked a lil abt this both but expandin on stuff), n also u mentioned Eric knowing how to bake (at least some things) n id LOVE to hear more abt that!! also for a general SAW polycule question, just bc it’s a dynamic i don’t think either of us have rlly touched on, thoughts on William + Mallick?

SAW ASK!!! (tysm!! <3)

okay so Eric/Adam:

I rly like th idea u had where they meet at one of Bobby’s groups (also throwing in tht I think abt Group Therapy All The Time) bc like. neither of them want to be there, neither of them rly have much in common w any other survivors, n neither of them can stand Bobby Dagen. so tht’s still like, th foundation fr how these 2 meet to me lol. the idea of them listening 2 him talk while rolling their eyes at each other n fake gagging is So Good.

I feel like Adam is just... rly open? w Eric? bc god does he understand how fucking hard it is 2 be around ppl after smth like that - maybe not to the same extent (though they DO have tht solidarity), but like. there’s only so many times u can hear “I’m so sorry tht happened/I can only imagine what u went thru” b4 yr ready 2 just tell ppl to shut the fuck up. so like, on Eric’s side of things, not getting tht frm Adam? not hearing the whole “I’m rly sorry u almost lost yr son and were locked up fr six months”? tht’s foreign territory ENTIRELY 2 him. sorry is all anyone has to say, even other survivors. Adam not saying sorry n instead being like “well I’m glad yr still around” is kind of what makes tht decision in Eric’s head like, yes, I think I want 2 get to know this dude. He Gets It.

n Adam is just patient too. letting Eric come 2 him, making sure he knows he’s there, tht sorta thing, bc regardless of how much he likes Adam, being around ppl again is not smth he can just jump into. it’s a wound tht is still raw n open n aching n he needs to treat it w care instead of rubbing salt in. n Eric half expects tht to turn Adam away, esp when he sometimes goes a day w no communication, but it doesn’t n he’s just sorta like ??? bc Eric never rly... saw some1 making tht kind of accommodation fr him, never expected some1 to understand it. tht’s another region I feel they’re very similar in - contact, sometimes, can b very very hard, even over text. if they don’t speak all day, tht’s okay - they send each other “i’m okay” texts n th other person responds w “good” n tht’s fine. Adam provides compromises when Eric never even knew tht was a possibility. it’s good.

things progress kinda slowly but not in a bad way. they’re just kind of getting used 2 each other - both of them have been alone fr so long, having some1 in their lives tht they give a shit abt n who gives a shit abt them is smth they’re both navigating. fr Eric, it’s being around some1 consistently after his trap. fr Adam, it’s actually having a friend who doesn’t make him feel like shit + having some1 he can definitively say is there. sometimes its easier 2 sit in comfortable silence than it is to force a convo neither of thm rly have the energy fr. sometimes just being in a room together is enough. tht’s smth they both notice - tht it’s like. they find it easy 2 be around each other. which is SO foreign to both of thm so they’re just kinda feelin it out?

n again like u’ve written b4, I also feel one of th turning points is when Eric calls Adam abt his hair + Adam shaves it fr him in his bathroom. tht’s th point where they’re both like “oh, I rly care abt this person.” bc it’s three in th fucking morning, Adam didn’t even have 2 pick up his phone or even answer when he saw it was Eric. but he did, bc he cares, bc he wants to help, n Adam’s just kinda freaking out internally too bc it’s been a looong time since he’s felt tht way abt some1 - he just wants Eric 2 be okay. n it’s then tht he’s kinda like, coming 2 terms w th fact that he truly cares abt someone who he can say without a doubt cares abt him too and it’s just like. oof. ESP when Eric sleeps over bc again, it’s early as fuck, and isn’t it so much easier 2 just have him stay? isn’t it easier fr Adam to make space fr Eric in his bed n home n heart? n Eric actually doesn’t tell Adam abt this later, but tht night he sleeps over after Adam shaves his hair? it’s th best he’s slept in fucking weeks.

I feel like after tht they’re a LOT more comfortable w each other - not tht they weren’t b4; I mean in th sense tht when they’re not doing too great, they’ll reach out 2 each other rather than bottling it up n dealing w it alone. Adam comes over w CDs he likes bc he can’t talk abt it but he doesn’t want 2 be by himself n they sit in Eric’s living room together in comfortable silence. sometimes Eric sings 2 him. they both find tht it helps. Eric becomes more accustomed 2 accepting help when he knows he needs it + Adam offers - dimming th lights n staying close by to keep him frm getting another migraine, having th TV on but w the sound down low enough tht it doesn’t feel like some1′s hitting him over th head w too-loud dialogue, getting things fr him on th days tht his nerve pain flares up n he’s mostly confined 2 his bed. they’re there fr each other. this is what friendship looks like fr them, two Jigsaw survivors who understand each other better than any1 else ever could.

another huge step fr them is like, th first time Adam offers 2 help w Eric’s rashes. I feel like, even as they grow closer, tht’s still not smth he’s vocal abt/comfortable showing often, something he’s ashamed of bc he feels like it’s gross n he doesn’t want 2 like. make Adam deal w that. but like during one of their sleepovers where Adam cuts his hair fr him n Eric’s got his shirt off he just. grabs the ointment he knows Eric keeps in th cabinet above the sink n while Eric’s still sitting w his back to him, he wordlessly begins tending 2 the rash spread along Eric’s shoulders n his neck n back, n Eric just. freezes. Adam doesn’t say anything, just does it fr him, n Eric kinda. Breaks Down a lil bit. like he just starts silently sobbing bc Adam doesn’t have 2 do this. he doesn’t have to help him w one of th things Eric hates most abt his own body. he could think it’s Gross. but he doesn’t think it’s gross n he doesn’t mind touching it and he’s so gentle when applying the ointment n then when he’s done he just kind of leans against Eric’s back bc He Knows. he reaches around front n grabs one of Eric’s hands n just sits there w him while he cries it out, holding his hand 2 say I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, n that is MAJOR fr Eric. and honestly? tht’s kind of th first time he Rly becomes aware of “oh fuck I love him.” (Adam too, ngl)

basically, the way it starts is a shared experience, smth no one else can rly say they have, an understanding based on tht shared experience. giving each other space until they begin inviting each other in. care, patience, “I’m here.” re-learning th feeling of mutual concern. somewhere along th way, it turns into love, and somehow falling into tht is just as easy.

-

Eric + baking:

YES I love this hc!! this is smth he picked up during his time btwn jobs during th earlier stages of recovery (but After meeting Adam/connecting w Art) bc he needed smth to do n was just sorta like, “well I guess this works huh?” n like. it was def a learning curve bc Eric can cook, relatively well/at least okay, but baking is a entirely different matter. at frst he was kinda discouraged when things didn’t turn out th way he hoped they would, but w gentle guidance on Art’s side n enthusiastic encouragement frm Adam, he stuck w it n has gotten pretty good as a result!! his fave things 2 make r peanut butter cookies (he does a little design on th top w a fork n both Adam + Art r like Oh My God That’s Adorable) + th aforementioned carrot cake cupcakes!! frosting is usually homemade n it’s usually cream cheese! he makes his own frosting fr cakes n stuff too (Constantly has 2 tell Adam to “keep yr hands off of th frosting/batter/dough! we’re not gonna have any left!!!” even tho tht Doesn’t stop him).

he makes rly good banana bread too! tht one was a lil harder 2 learn but he’s honestly pretty proud of it now. it’s so funny bc Adam typically doesn’t like stuff like tht but if Eric made it? oh it’s Amazing. (he’s like tht w Art’s cooking too kjdfhjs partially bc he is a Disaster in th kitchen, but also bc That’s His BF/Best Friend!!!)

if some1 is feeling particularly shitty he takes requests (Adam usually wants brownies + Art is partial 2 peanut butter cookies but w chocolate chips too) n it’s just a nice lil thing he can do 2 help, which is smth he Always wants to do. he also stress bakes tho so sometimes his bfs have 2 just kinda like check in n make sure he’s doing okay. but! yeah baking is smth he enjoys + is relatively good at!!

-

William/Mallick dynamic:

yr right I haven’t thought abt this dynamic much but I Am Now!!!

I feel like at his core, William is def a caretaker. Mallick, 2 me, is someone who is just wholly unfamiliar w being cared for. so like, at the Very Least, they’re both dating Adam + Lawrence, right? they spend a lot of time around each other. plenty enough time fr William 2 pick up on this. it just kinda. makes his heart hurt, bc he sees the unease in Mallick’s eyes every time one of thm performs even th smallest acts of kindness fr him - not bc he doesn’t appreciate it/doesn’t want it, but because it’s more that he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. n William Sees That and is just like. I Need U To Know You’re Loved.

they’re comfortable w each other, of course they are! they’re friends, good friends, who happen 2 be dating th same people! who go to bed together at night n wake up w each other in th morning. it’s love, they know tht, but Mallick still always looks so surprised when William makes waffles fr him fr breakfast. William cares.

n Mallick can kinda feel it, and he’s not resistant 2 it, but he’s definitely on edge abt it a little. but William also just has this air abt him that Mallick finds it hard to stay keyed up in, so it doesn’t rly take long fr Mallick to at least be at peace w William’s attention. but the moment he starts to really fathom it is during one of those days he can’t get himself 2 relax n is just shaking out on the couch, knees drawn up to his chest n his arm wrapped around thm, just kinda staring down at th carpet n just Not having the energy to get himself out of his own head. Lawrence + Adam r at work n Eric is taking a quick nap so it’s just Mallick n William.

so Mallick is sitting there spiraling n his breaths r coming out a little fast n William just sits down beside him, a mug of warm tea tht he sets down on th coffee table fr a moment, n he just rests a hand on Mallick’s shoulder. doesn’t say anything, just sort of like. offers tht bridge, opens tht avenue. n Mallick is like This Close to just breaking entirely, but what rly does it is when William just swipes his thumb over his shoulder n squeezes. n Mallick rly DOES break down, almost ugly-sobbing and wheezing, n somehow he ends up w his face in William’s neck, pretty much curled into his side, n tht’s when it truly hits him how much William cares abt him too. tht there are Several People who hold tht kind of room fr him in their hearts n lives. William didn’t even have 2 say anything fr Mallick to understand that, to know it as truth. n tht’s like, one of th events tht actually leads Mallick to building up tht self-esteem, knowing that.

n after tht happens, Mallick is a little less reluctant abt accepting William’s (+ everyone else’s!) help, at least some of the time. like Mallick will catch himself digging his fingers a lil too harshly into th stump of his arm (I’m w u on 10 Pints resulting in at least a partial amputation - like what was tht little scar in 3D???) n then he’ll feel William’s hand cover his n gently curl around his palm 2 be like “I’m not gonna say anything, but I see you, it’s okay,” n his grip relaxes. Eric will notice he’s working himself up too much n he’ll reach out n take one of his hands while he’s pacing + laces their fingers together so tht Mallick has to pause a moment n then he’s able to breathe. Lawrence stumbles across him in th midst of a panic attack n Mallick finds himself breathing easier when Lawrence takes one of his hands, places it over his chest + his heart, n breathes w him. Adam holds him when he jolts awake frm a nightmare. lil things like tht.

one of their fave things to help them both de-stress is they’ll lay in bed n William will read out loud to Mallick, who has his head on his chest n is listening but doesn’t have to put too much energy into keeping up, bc it’s mostly abt being close + having smth to fill the silence tht neither of them feel particularly comfortable in anymore. sometimes Mallick falls asleep n it honestly makes William rly happy bc not only is Mallick relaxed enough to actually close his eyes, he also trusts William enough to fall asleep around him, trusts him during a time he’s at his most vulnerable. it’s not uncommon fr Lawrence to get home frm work to find th two of them curled up against th pillows, sometimes both asleep or just Mallick while William continues reading silently and brushes his fingers thru Mallick’s hair. Adam def has a pic of them like tht somewhere, hung up on th cork board Art had bought specifically fr those kinds of photos. it’s smth easy tht doesn’t really require much energy + has the added bonus of just being close to n held by someone u love n who loves u.

and they help each other. sometimes William has a rly hard time looking at himself, the days where his guilt sits heavy in his chest n doesn’t seem 2 want to anywhere, n Mallick will just sit w him outside on th porch swing and just Be There bc it’s like. “I’m here, I want to b here, Jigsaw was wrong, you are not a terrible person, u did what u could w what u had and I love you,” in a single action. I think William also struggles, like u’ve mentioned tht Eric does, w th guilt of what happened + feeling like it was his fault. so Mallick sitting w him, their shoulders brushing, fr William it’s like, if he was truly as awful a person as John seemed 2 think he was, wld Mallick be this close? wld Mallick willingly lay down beside him some nights n kiss him good morning? wld he kiss him again on th cheek after he makes a fresh pot of coffee + pancakes? n William knows tht Mallick wouldn’t keep himself so close if John was right, so it’s like. proof of tht. n tht means a lot to William. sometimes tht’s all he needs.

they don’t have 2 deal w their struggles alone. they’re both surrounded by ppl who love them n want to see them do well - it’s only natural they feel tht way abt each other, too.

[samthemarvelfan]

Goodbyes: Chapter Five

Summary: Ella Monroe is the Avengers newest recruit, handpicked by Steve Rogers himself. Indebted to him for reasons unknown, Cap pairs her up with Bucky Barnes. He is tasked with training her to relearn and hone the skills that have long since rusted. Bucky is cold and distant, and Ella can’t seem to break through the wall he’s built up for decades. He sees something in her though, and it scares him to death. Has the fate of these two strangers been sealed? …or will they always be longing…

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC, feat Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson

Warnings: DARKER THEMES AHEAD. Angst, Bucky is a dick, mutual pining, self sabotage, male-on-female violence, description of injuries, PTSD, mentions of blood, violence, and death. Sloooooow burn ahead.

A/N: I continue to be blown away by you guys, thanks so much for all of the love! The tag list is open! so please let me know if youd like to be added! This one is a lil intense, but a beautiful set up in the works ;)

Taglist: @iheartsebastianstan @jjlizz @stuckysbabe @sk493494 (strikethrough means the tag didn’t work! I’m sorry!)

Now this is a tac suit.

Cap had left it outside your door for you to wear this morning. The suit fit you perfectly, and allowed for optimal stealth and flexibility. Combat boots, thigh holster, and duel daggers sheaths. Just some of the accessories you’d been gifted with.

Butterflies invaded your stomach as you made your way to the Quinjet. Doing the best you could today was essential for your career, but that wasn’t the only thing causing your nerves.

Sergeant Barnes would be there, and worse than that, so would his attitude. For the life of you, you didn’t understand why his temperament towards you kept changing.

In private, he’s so kind. He cares for you, and he shows it. But yesterday, like so many times before, he truly seemed to hate you. To have no desire for you to be around, and deem you completely useless.

You arrived on the jet last, seeing Bucky sitting alone. He was inspecting his rifle, assuring it was set to go. He glanced at you for a moment, eyes roaming the suit clung to your body before shaking his head and returning his focus to his gun.

Along the wall of the jet was the weapons rack. You load both your waist holster and thigh holster with pistols, and choose daggers lightweight enough to throw if necessary.

Steve walked from the front of the ship and smiled when he saw you. “Ready?” He asked as took a seat, and strapped himself in.

You nod, doing the same. “Ready.”

You sat next to Steve on the jet, Bucky across from you. Not the ideal seating arrangement but hey, you work with what you got. The visual however was certainly enticing. Sergeant Barnes looked so damn good dressed in his tac gear.

“You okay?” Steve asks sincerely, removing you from your thoughts, and earning a muffled scoff from Bucky.

You nod. Looking at Bucky quickly, “Just trying to keep my focus. I don’t wanna mess up.”

Bucky’s face was stoic. You knew he was a master at hiding his emotions, so that didn’t surprise you.

Steve rested his hand on yours, and Bucky shifted forward. “You won’t. You’re ready, besides you’re gonna be our eyes and ears on the ship. Isn’t that right, Buck?” He asked, calling to his friend.

Bucky, in the midst of checking out his rifle, caught Steve’s gaze. “She’s shouldn’t be here at all Steve.”

You sighed. Bucky truly didn’t want you around anymore. Just the thought of him hating you made you heart feel like it was breaking.

“You trained her. That already makes Ella more qualified than any of the recruits we’ve had.” Steve defended you.

You’re always reminded of how grateful you are for Cap. Without him, you’re sure you’d be dead, or worse.

“I only trained her for a small about of time. Who knows what kind of sloppy habits she’s picked up since then.” He quipped.

“Watch it, Tin-man. Watch it.” Sam spoke from the pilot seat.

Sergeant Barnes ignored Sam and turned his attention back to Steve, “The only reason she’s here is because she likes to defy orders,” he cocked his rifle, “and because you’ve taken pity on her.”

“She has a name, Sergeant Barnes,” You retort quickly, “and last time I checked, I don’t have to take orders from you anymore.”

Bucky stares at you for a moment, “Like it or not Doll, I’m still a CO.“ He secured the strap on his rifle, “and your name to me is Recruit.” He quipped.

You scoff, “Really? Because that wasn’t the case thr—“

“Arrival in 2 minutes 10 seconds, folks.” Sam shouted, cutting you off. Steve stood and walked to join him while Bucky’s eyes continued to remain on you.

You cleared your throat, moving to stand in front of him. “I understand you don’t like me—that you don’t wanna be around me...”

Yikes. Just saying that aloud hurt your heart.

You continued, “But you gave up on me. So why don’t we just go back to ignoring each other’s existence? That way neither of us gets hurt.”

Bucky doesn’t look at you, but you hear him whisper. “I didn’t give up on you.”

You cross your arms in front of you, “It doesn’t matter now does it? Because no matter what I do, nothing is ever good enough for you; I’ll never be good enough,”

“One minute.” Sam announces again.

Your eyes return to Bucky, whose gaze is now fixated on you. “I’m sorry I’m not enough. But I’m gonna prove you wrong, ya know.”

He licks his lips, about to speak when Steve returns, securing his shield to his back. “Ella stay here, keep the comms open. When you hear from Bucky, he’ll give you the all clear to drop the bay doors for extraction.”

You nod, “If you need me out there, just say the word.”

“No.” Bucky says quickly. “You’re to stay in the jet, don’t compromise this mission because you wanna play hero. Understood?”

Sam and Steve exchange glances, but they can’t interject. Regardless of who’s actually training you, Sergeant Barnes is still your commanding officer.

“Yes.” You grumble.

“Yes, what?” He asks sternly.

You let out a sigh of frustration. “Yes, Sir.”

Seemingly satisfied with your answer, he turns and exits jet, Cap and Sam following swiftly behind him.

He’s been more hostile and short tempered with you than ever. After the...incident...a few weeks ago, you thought maybe things would be different. After all, he’d shown you a side of him you had never seen.

Under all of that coldness and silence, he was kind and gentle. He felt more than he would ever let people know, and the regret and shame he was holding onto after what happened...it made you see him in a different light.

But now, since cutting ties with you, he’s colder than ever. Did he realize that maybe it was your fault? You had undone the months of progress he’d made, simply by being yourself. How could he not resent you for that?

Your mind wandered back to the day he came to your room. When he was stood in your most personal space, being the most vulnerable you’d ever seen him be. His touch echoed on your skin. Your mind recalling how your body reacted when he stroked your jaw. It felt electric—it felt right.

A shudder ran through your body, shaking the memories from your skin. Returning your attention to the controls, you had to admit you were a bit bored. You pop your feet up on the edge of the control panel, unsheathing a knife from your belt.

You toss it in the air a few times, catching it without even focusing. Your mind wouldn’t shut up! If it was just recon, why couldn’t you be out there in the field? At least you could have learned how a proper recon mission was carried out.

Despite your boredom and feeble attempts at distraction, Bucky never left your mind.

Sometimes the way he looks at you makes your stomach do backflips. His eyes have a way of piercing your soul, whether he means to or not. You just want him to like you—why do you want him to like you so badly?

A muffled static pulled you from your thoughts. Putting your knife away, you noticed the comm lines were going crazy, and Steve’s line was glowing. “Cap? What is it?”

You heard a burst of rapid fire. “Ella! Get that door open now!” His voice is panicked and it sounds like he’s running.

Your hands begin to tremble as you push your communicator, “What’s your location?” You respond, hoping your voice isn’t sounding as shaky to them as it does to you.

You wait the required 10 seconds for a response. Nothing.

“Cap? Steve? What’s your location?!” You shout. What were they firing at? This was supposed to be reconnaissance only!

Another 10 seconds pass, still no response. Are they hurt? Is someone down? Is Bucky okay? Steve said Bucky would be the one to give you the all clear...

You jump from your seat, and run to the back of the jet. Grabbing the pistol from your hip, you flick the safety off and hit the red button on the control panel.

The ramp had barely hit the ground before your feet do. The forest is thick, and dark but you’d been here before. The terrain becomes less and less foreign as you run your way through it, jumping over roots and dodging branches in your path.

You pause, turning on your heel as you hear the unmistakable sound of gun fire. It’s was Sergeant Barnes’ rifle, no doubt about it.

Thank God. He’s okay. You think to yourself.

The shots are getting closer now. “Cover, cover! Bogies on my 11 and 3!” You heard Sam’s voice in echo in the distance as it repeated in your ear piece.

They’re close. You think.

“Barnes! Cap! Does anyone copy?!” He screams.

No one is answering, but you still hear Bucky’s gun rapid firing in the distance. You had to do something or Sam wasn’t surviving this mission.

Taking a deep breath you push your communicator, “This is Cadet Monroe...I copy.”

Your boots are echoing off of the sodded ground. “Falcon, what’s your location?” You shout breathily.

“Courtyard in the north-most building!” He responded.

Your eyes scan the field looking for the familiar pillars, knowing the courtyard was in the building opposite. You spot the large cement structure looking like the remains of a building long blown to hell, and run for it.

“Cadet Monroe you get back to the jet NOW!” Bucky’s voice rang over the earpiece. Relief floods your veins when you hear it. He was okay and still fighting. You wanted to, but you couldn’t respond, not when Sam was in trouble.

Pressing your back against the cement wall, you peek around it. You spot Sam hidden between two large cement pillars. “Falcon, on your 6.” You whisper.

You see Sam use his peripherals and he nods subtlety. As Sam’s crouched down behind a chunk of cement, he gestured to his left and your eyes meet where he’s looking. There they were, HYDRA. Two soldiers approaching Sam from either side.

Knowing you only have one chance at this, you line up your shot, remembering what Bucky had told you about leading with you foot, and pull the trigger twice hitting the first soldier square in the chest.

He falls instantly, allowing Sam to run closer to where you are. “Now Sam! I’ll cover you.” You call.

Sam rolls across the opening of the pillars as the second HYDRA soldier pops out from behind the wall. You shoot again, but he dodges them. Without hesitation, you pull the dagger from your side and throw it full force. It slides through his chest like butter, nailing him straight through the heart.

“Ella, get your ass back on that jet! That’s an order!” Bucky shouts. He’s angry, you know that much.

Your instinct is to listen, if you don’t you’ll be defying a direct order from a superior officer. Unsure if it’s Sam’s life being on the line or your pride, you don’t respond to Bucky.

You were determined to prove him wrong.

Your lungs are burning and your adrenaline is working on overdrive, but Sam finally reaches you. “Are you hurt?” You ask breathless.

He shook his head, “No, but remind me again why the hell Barnes wanted you locked in there all this time?” He jested, catching his breath. “Thank you, Ella.”

You nod, clipping your pistol back in its holster. “What happened to simple recon? Hmm?” You tease.

He lets out a small chuckle, “Yeah, tell me about it,” Sam pauses to rip off one of his gloves, “Turns out we—GET DOWN!”

His warning doesn’t come quick enough as a bang surges through your shoulder. An indescribable pain covers the right side of your body as you collapsing to your knees.

Reaching up with your left hand, you grip your shoulder tightly, pulling back to see your hand covered in blood.

Is that my blood? You think as your legs give out beneath you, sending your body into the dirt.

Your hearing is muffled. All you can make out is your heart pounding and bullets being fired. You see Sam, he’s yelling for...Steve? That’s what it looks like he saying anyways. He’s waving someone down before you see him jump over you. Your vision is fading and it’s fading fast.

You’re fighting it as much as you can, blinking to keep the darkness from spreading. Coming to the conclusion you were in shock, you try to take several deep breaths, praying the bullet didn’t hit your lung.

Your hearing is returning slowly, and you catch the ending of your name. Was someone calling your name?

His scent hits you first, immediately bringing some sort of comfort to you. You look over and see Bucky secure his rifle to his side. He scoops you up into his arms, careful to not grip your wound. You feel him running inhumanly fast as he holds you to his chest.

Before you know it, your back hits the cool metal of the Quinjet’s deck as Bucky’s body hovers your right side. You know you’re losing blood and you’re losing it fast. The patches of black dotting your vision return as you catch a glimpse of him, panic is framing his eyes.

“S-Sergeant Barnes?” You ask through a clenched jaw.

“It’s me, Ella. I’ve got you.” He replies. You wanted to smile, but the pain forbid it. He said my name again. You think. His tone was soft, kind and...worried? He’s worried about you?

You see him rip a piece of fabric with his teeth. “B-Bucky I’m s—I’m sorry...Sam he was—c-comprom....couldn’t.” You slur. The blackness takes over. You’re sure you’ve passed out from blood loss.

You feel him jostle you, “Ella, stay with me. Come on Els, come on.” Are you dreaming? You have to be dreaming.

If you are, then this dream is vivid, eerily so. You feel a hand stroking your forehead, “I’ve got you, Doll. I’ve got you.”

God don’t wake me up yet. You think to yourself.

You hear more footsteps, suddenly the gentle hand is gone from your forehead and you feel pressure being applied to your wounded shoulder. You smell him still though, his campfire musk filling your nose and calming your nerves. You’re so relieved he’s alright.

“She’ll be okay Buck.” Steve reassures him. You’re sure dreaming now. Your eyes attempt to open once more, the light now is too bright, filling your vision with white, hot blindness. In the struggle to see, you see Sergeant Barnes stand from your side.

He lets out a shaky breath. Turning to away from you facing the side of the ship. The metal is suddenly rattled with a boom as Bucky’s metal fist collides with the side of the jet.

He looks furious. Yelling something at Sam and Steve. You couldn’t make out what it was, but it was a site you definitely didn’t need to see. “S-sorry. ‘M s-sor...” You mumble before the blackness takes over for good this time.

Chapter Six: Right

[dandyvespa]

Hello everyone

Since the Produce series is now in shambles, I still continue to be survival show trash and would like some other mutuals to join my crackhead addiction. If you haven’t heard of Youth with You, it is the Chinese version of Produce that uses similar formatting. The judges of the latest season—which this time has girls competing to form a 9-member girl group—include Ella Chen, Jony J, Cai Xukun, and Lisa of Blackpink. Not only are the mentors astounding, but the participants are incredibly talented starting out that nearly all of them deserve to debut. In fact i would say it rivals with or dare I say is better than the original Produce series. In addition to this the show invites girls of different styles, weights, backgrounds, and androgynous looks making the show a lot more diverse and fleshed out from the typical female idol look. If you guys haven’t started it and are interested in something a bit more fresh to quell the pain of losing the Korean Produce series, I would highly recommend watching it. For those who are all caught up, please let us fangirl together over these competitors. Down below are my current top 9 and brief reasoning for each.

NOTE: It was very hard to pick a top 9 and honestly i would still rearrange this later on because it’s still too early in the game. I have way too many favorites for this season T.T. That being said I have no particular order for these gals.

——————————————————————

1. Xiaotang Zhao

The girl is hilarious so don’t let her resting bitch face fool you. She is so friendly and easygoing and I love her don’t-give-fuck attitude and because of that she’s so real and open to her thoughts regardless of backlash. She’s odd, but there is no doubt that she is talented. She’s been dancing since childhood and her skill shows on stage. Not to mention she is pretty good at rapping.

2. Yan Yu

Another “cold” looking person. But listen I would risk it all for her. She is beautiful, her body is goals, she is actually a goofabll off stage, is really caring of her teammates, loves her family despite teasing them occasionally, and her vocals are P O W E R F U L. She has the most stunning expressions and the way she stares into your soul when she gets into stage character? *dies* Plus she has proven to adapt to any concept, be it serving that cold girl crush look or a more delicate cute style. I hope people begin to realize that later on in the season.

3. Babymonster An Qi

This right here. This little pepper? She is fiery. She has incredible dance skills and charisma on stage. She is goofy and loves to eat a lot and nothing warms me more than seeing trainees/idols just eat well disregarding strict diets placed on them. She is also great at getting her teammates to familiarize and better their dance moves and has great leadership quality in that field. She is well prepared and knows what she wants and goes for it, and with that I know she will debut.

4. Frhanm Shangguan

Ohohoho Frhanm Shangguan is indeed the W H O L E fucking package. Miss most competent girl of Youth with You Season 3. I still watch her audition clip religiously to this day. The girl can not only sing, rap, dance, and possess a stage like no other, but she redefines the idea of how female idols should look. She loves herself, from her weight to her hair to her overall confidence. She screams positivity, acceptance, and big sister energy. She believes all girls can do anything they put their mind too and she is such a hard worker and motivator for all girls in the season. I’m straight up calling it out right now that if she doesn’t get to the final lineup—preferably as the team leader— I’m going to yeet myself out the window. I feel like we’ve only scratched the surface of what this girl is capable of and I cannot wait to see her adapt to whatever is thrown at her.

5. Shaking (Xie Keying)

Here is one of your rappers y’all. This girl is such a ball of fun energy and charisma. It amazes me she is considered one of the rookie rappers of the season. Her ability to ride the beat and change her vocal tone is great. Plus her expressions on stage are killer. She really shined in the rap group battle and rightfully so. She is so funny and knows how to get along and make other participants laugh. She also has some really good vocal skills and I can’t wait for her to showcase them more. And I also must agree with Cai and Ella. They were right in giving her an A , especially over Lil Jeta 🙄.

6. Xin Liu

Another girl who redefines how a female idol should look! I love her androgynous look and I think it’s hilarious how vain she is when it comes to makeup. That aside I need to point out how her and others with this similar boyish look had the option of wearing shorts or a skirt and I’m glad she addressed it as it is part of her identity and makes her comfortable. This girl happens to be the theme song stage center and rightfully so! She can sing, rap, and is a killer dancer with popping her main forte. She exudes coolness and I know she will go far with her stage presence and hardworking attitude.

7. Kiki Xu

Gah what a cutie. Another skilled dancer who definitely proved that when she battled with An and Frhanm in the auditions. I thought it was funny when she struggled with trying to look cool for the dance group battles but then absolutely killed it with this girl crush look that made me think “oh my god STEP ON ME”. Whew but like really she is a great performer, but I really wanna see more of her vocal skills. Good luck to Kiki and I hope she can show more sides of herself through the season!

8. Snow Kong

See this queen? She is trying to learn to be more confident in herself and has shown how much she really adores the stage through her hardwork and tears. It’s been a while since she performed but she wishes to start new and give it her all. This girl is fun, loving, and has powerful vocals and rap skills. Plus her dancing is amazing. Just everything about her screams well-rounded idol material. She is a lovely visual and also gives me Sakura vibes. And don’t mess with her hair it will attack you the way she whips it like a maniac on stage. I also love her dynamic with others, especially Xiaotang and Esther Yu lol. Here’s hoping she will develop and astound us more through the later episodes.

9. NINEONE

Nineone is, to me, a dark horse like Yu Yan. She is a professional rapper so naturally her rap skills are the best this season. She knows how to take charge and level with teammates. She is another type of person who has clear cut goals and gets them done. Funnily enough she also has this childish and shy side to her that may come off uncharactertic to her considering her swag and charisma on stage, but I think it is so real and fresh. The final lineup would need another strong rapper that know what she is doing, and after seeing her audition I think she also has some fantastic vocal skills that I’d love to see branch out later on if possible.

———————————————————————

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Zoe Wang, Sharon Wang, JU Chen, Yvonne Wang, Yu Zhang, Diamond, Lingzi, Jue Chen, K Lu, Duan Xiaowei, Flora Dai, Meddhi Fu, and omg literally too many all of these girls are too talented it would be easier to narrow it down to people I don’t want/don’t see debuting....

But I won’t pour that hot piping tea out just yet ☕️

———————————————————————

If y’all feel the same or just want to talk about the show hit me up because I need more people to rant/freak out with over these queens.

[loeybeans1]

luvpcy |  follow forever 200308

hi everyone, it's mari! so i recently hit a milestone and decided to do a follow forever in order to show all the love and support to my lovely mutuals and followers. now, i haven't really been here long, in the sense that i've only just started posting a few months ago and have never been this active before, but i've already made so many memories and met so many amazing people, and i'm just so overwhelmed by it all aah i very rarely ever say it to most of you, but i'm so grateful for all the lovely messages you leave and all the support you show. it's so crazy to think that a few months ago, i used to literally sit there and contemplate posting for hours because i always used to get so anxious about what others would think, but here we are now and i'm literally out here posting anything and everything as soon as i finish drafting. like that's growth yall omg

thank you so much for helping me get to this point, and for constantly motivating me and giving, i really appreciate it. and to show that, here's a bit of my love back!

also quick note, these aren’t in any order at all, i’m just going based on who pops up first, and i’m just tagging moots i’ve interacted with, or those i think are really cool and would like to get to know more <3

@moonlightjongin , @betchabyun , @x-exo , @loeybaekkiestuff , @kuroijack , @likelike-love , @jopping-to-my-kpop , @heartcravings , @guardians-of-exo , @pikayeollie , @punkzs , @pupchanyeol , @ohsenhun , @intergalacticpcy , @intopcy , @yutanakamots , @yixing-zhang , @yeoldotcom , @exo-xexo0021 , @taexkai , @lovebucketjeon , @2seokwaves

also a lil shoutout to those who have been here since day one, and still haven’t dropped my stupid ass / people who make me drop uwus :(((

@baekhunz , irma bean ahh  you’re honestly one of the few who have been there with me since the very start, and have helped me in ways that words honestly can’t even describe. you’re a whole entire angel who deserves the world and all the love and happiness in it, i hope you know that! thanks for always being there irma bean, and for pushing me to step out of my comfort zone and try new things, i appreciate it more than you could ever imagine

@artsyeoll , you bubba imy omg i hope you’re doing well and looking after yourself and not working yourself too hard with requests. i haven’t had the chance to speak to you for a while, but i hope you know that you’re someone that really means a lot to me. you’re so encouraging and sweet, and literally don’t even know it. but yes, you’ve really inspired me in various ways, and i wanted to take this time say thank you ily cah bean :((

@delhyun , lia you make me drop loads of uwus ahh you’re so sweet and everything about you just screams lovely. you’re always leaving such kind messages and tags on posts and making me feel so loved! for you, it’s just hearts spams all around omg thank you so much bean c:

@hkynm , kelli you’re expensive af, and so are your fics but for real, you’re someone i’ve really been looking up to as of recently, and someone who i managed to click with really easily. like we literally started off talking to each other as if we’ve known each other for centuries, and if that ain’t real friendship then i don’t know what is sis :((

@xiuminscheeks , ine omds i’ve been looking forward to this, mostly because i’ve literally never ever said this to you and you’re someone i’ve wanted to say this to for such a long time. but thank you so  much bean, you’re literally hands down the most sweetest, most supportive, most genuine person i’ve met on this site so far. you’ve never failed to make me smile, and i just ahh thank you bub

@bikeryeollie , rachel oof i could write an essay for you because you’re literally the most softest bub ever, thank you so much for all your love bean, and for just being your lovely self, a billion purple heart spams all around for you x2 because that’s what a bean like you deserves

[mcnypieces]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme

fill out & repost ♥  This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK ( They’re missing out )

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK ( It’s subjective )

Are they underrated? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO? ( This is... also subjective. )

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL

How strictly do you follow canon?

     As closely as possible, considering there’s not very much to work with in regards to his canon to begin with. There’s a lot of freedom in picking up any kind of minor canon character. I look mainly to expand on what little is present. I adore fleshing out even the smallest ideas so having something I can comfortably build on is great.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.

     Pica is loyal, beyond anything. Strong, well-built, and never wavering. Regardless of the situation, he is always on task, diligent to the last moment and perhaps longer. Devotion and collected functionality make a grand guardian. Always acts as a pillar; a collected foundation of a man centered around dedicated familial values. Being in contact with stone makes him nigh invincible, granting him not only the protective assimilation but the literal stature and appearance of a stone goliath given enough material. Strategic with respectable swordsmanship, constantly protective of what’s important. He’s nice on the eyes, quiet, and a good listener. There’s order and beauty laced within all that cataclysmic chaos just waiting to be found. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).

     Distant, stoic, absolutely terrible with expression that isn’t hateful and violent. Pica is very strict, lacking a sense of humor. His voice is extremely disruptive. The smallest remarks set his short fuse alight and it burns on and on until there’s nothing left. That murderous intent settles for very few things, and getting him to open up is a long, grueling process. He’s self-conscious but in an overbearingly cocky way, in that pride often masks everything genuine. He thinks very highly of himself and looks down on other people constantly. He’s uncooperative, constantly wrapped up in solemn business, and heavily against indirect methods. Abrasiveness is a weapon and he uses it without remorse. Stubbornness and general unwillingness to speak with strangers make attempting to converse with him the equivalent of talking to a wall. Pica is impatience, wrath, and apathy tied together with coarse cobblestone.

What inspired you to rp your muse?

     As odd as it sounds, I found certain parts of Pica relatable in very specific, personal ways. People never took me seriously when I was upset because I was so small ( sometimes they still don’t dskdsks- ). For awhile when I was younger my voice was really deep and hoarse due to adenoid issues. Speaking in general was hard, because breathing was hard. It made me sound very masculine, especially over any kind of voice-only system. Normally adenoids aren’t an issue at that point because they’re vestigial and tend to essentially be shrunk down to nothing. But something ( probably fighting off infections and never shrinking/bad allergies, nobody knows ) blew mine up and they were blocking 3/4ths of my airway for ages without anyone having any idea what was going on until it got bad enough to the point it was obvious something was wrong. I couldn’t have any stuffed animals in my room because it was legitimately dangerous and a lot of my non hypoallergenic stuff had plastic covers on it. Made me really sad. Eventually they were surgically removed, and it cleared up my breathing and in time my voice was relatively normal. Before then, nothing felt worse to me then than struggling to breathe trying to defend myself in tandem with all the emotional stress it brought on me. 

     I was always quiet and distant otherwise, and a lot of people thought I was just weird and unapproachable ( unless you wanted a laugh, anyway ). There were days before I made my small group of good friends I’d just spend sitting under the stairwell up against a wall eating lunch by myself. I’m probably one of the few people that listened to Pica talk for the first time and didn’t immediately burst into laughter. I didn’t completely click with him at that point, but watching that one little thing turn into a running gag constantly coming back to undermine everything else that was amazing about him really set my feelings in stone... pun completely intended. I’ve loved him ever since. That inspiration and adoration has only grown with time.

What keeps your inspiration going?

     Quite a few things. Aside from the constant love pouring from my being, I love looking at highly detailed stonework. It’s beautiful. Scrolling through rolling mountain landscapes, listening to certain songs, daydreaming in between sentences. I never really lose inspiration for Pica. Something new hits me every day in the most mundane tasks. A lot of it does go unshared, but some of it is personal and other times I simply don’t have the energy or reason. Very well I could be brimming with inspiration for him all day and have nowhere really to put it without excess. Getting opportunities to do so really makes me smile, though. It’s amazing how much being invested in a character will keep your inspiration at an all time high even when you’re having a rough time. Sometimes all it takes is just an extra comment from someone else or an occurrence or some kind of image to put you right back on track. For me, seeing any kind of lovely stonework or abandoned, run down places really sets my inspiration for him in motion.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO ( I would hope so! )

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO ( I’m always thinking of new ones! )

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO ( It’s been awhile, though... )

Do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES!! / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO 

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO ( Generally speaking, I try to be! )

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

     Actual criticism, yes. I don’t mind it. At the same time, however, I’m really just here to have a good time ─ as is everybody else. Growing and developing my writing is always a bonus when I’ve the experience here in an environment I’m comfortable with, but critique isn’t exactly something I go hunting for. I’m here to write the characters I love and adore and honestly, sometimes, it’s better to have the freedom to do things as you wish without the worry of receiving it, no matter how well-intended it may be. It’s all chill times and good vibes doing what we enjoy most.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

     Absolutely! I love randomly being sent things that keep me thinking with any character. I’m always looking for little intricacies and tidbits to really bring them to life. Sometimes it takes a bit for me to think of something appropriate but I always appreciate the brain candy when it comes to new details! It goes without saying that I’ll happily accept anything that gives reason to my constant, aimless musings related to Pica.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

     Yes and no? I always love hearing other ideas on why someone else’s headcanons differ from my own. For all I know it might be enough to change my mind or, at the very least, give me a different perspective on something I’ve never thought about before. I’m always curious about stuff when it relates to a character I love. As long as they’re not rude about it and we’ve talked to the point it’s not out of the blue, it’s okay. On the other hand, it doesn’t really matter if someone disagrees. We all have our own headcanons and it’s very easy to be respectful about them. Despite what has already been said, there’s a high chance I’m going to keep to my own headcanons as they are regardless, because I put a lot of thought and heart into them. Someone disagreeing with them at face value isn’t going to make me up and throw all that work in the trash just like that.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

     That’s okay. There are plenty of different ways to interpret a character. People are allowed to like and dislike whatever portrayal they so choose, so long as they’re not bashing anyone outright. I would much prefer that be something that’s kept to oneself, however. It’s very easy to simply ignore something you don’t agree with, and it’s just as easy to be kind about things when expressing your own thoughts in comparison with theirs. Plus, there’s always making your own blog and writing whoever however you please! Someone out there is bound to enjoy whatever portrayal you prefer. ♥

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

     Not personal, certainly, unless it was somehow directed at me personally. It’s very understandable. There’s a lot of potential present for actual progressing development, but on the surface Pica is very dislike-able. It’s very clear his purpose was to act as a stepping stone for another major character’s development and there wasn’t much left beyond that. Of course it’s always a sad thing being hopelessly attached to a character like that but as an avid lover of what are often viewed as very minor, niche characters, it’s something I’m very much used to. Perhaps not intense hate in every case, per se, but underappreciated. It just so happens that Pica is... not exactly a good person, putting it kindly. But that’s just another reason I love him so much as a character.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

     Sure! Though chances are I’ve probably already noticed at that point and have been embarrassed about it/fixed it. I’ve probably made many over the years and also not realized it. Most of the time it’s something minor anyway, and a lot of people just naturally read it as it’s supposed to be read. So there’s no trouble!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

     I’d certainly like to think so! I tend to be very patient and accommodating. I wholeheartedly stand beside the idea that RPing is meant to be fun and enjoyable and not something that causes more stress. People should take their time with things and set their own pace. Being comfortable is part of what makes RP the wonderful hobby that it is. Really that applies to any hobby, but there are many little things that can turn someone away from doing something they love at any given time. There’s nothing that would hurt me more than unintentionally making something someone enjoys a chore for them. I try my best to make sure everyone knows that I’m really just a chill little bun having a good time doting on characters I love. Pica might not be cordial, but I certainly try to be!

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

     🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

tagged by. @tenyxshx ─ thank you flamingo nerd ♥ ilu

[mrs-hollandstan]

Please write a whole lot for richkid! Tom!! I just love your writing sm and u

Thank you so much first off. I made it longgggggg and I may or may not have cried during the last little bit. Don't mind me. A lil bit of NSFW throughout.

Okayyyyyy

Tom is one of those kids that doesn't he's spoiled fucking rotten

He grew up thinking it was normal

He was the type of kid to ask his mom why the other kids didn't have a Maserati at five and six

But the older he got, the more cocky he got despite his mom trying to humble him

The second he meets you though, all of his cocky humbleness goes out the window

He's star struck and he doesn't know how to feel

He thinks you're absolutely stunning and he finds himself with his brothers at a diner for dinner and malts just so he can (totally not creepily) watch you flit around behind the bar

"Why don't you just ask her out Tom?" Harry asks

"Yeah... we've come here three nights in a row and I'm starting to miss the caviar at Le Gavroche." Sam adds

"You think she'd wanna come?" He quickly pipes up

So when the boys say they don't know, he just walks over and sits on a barstool and quickly sparks up a conversation

Only having a few, not so serious relationships, you're enamored by how easy it feels to talk to him and flirt

After only a few minutes he asks if you'd like to accompany them and you agree

So after your shift, you're being escorted home in a limo which is pretty terrifying

But the smile on Tom's face is reassuring

He's a cutie

But his brothers know he's a cocky little shit and once he has you, you're fucked

So you go on the little date and all and Tom loves hearing you talk about yourself and he's just grossly in love

Like... its sickening

But after that night he asks to see you again and it's really cheesy like straight out of a Hallmark movie and its disgusting

And soon you're on like your fifth date and he's officially calling you his girlfriend to people and he loves it

And now you're starting to see the other side of him

Not that it's really shocking considering he got a little tipsy at a ball he took you too (totally coerced you into buying your dress) and the way he talked about some of the 'whores' made you laugh and you knew you were in trouble

He's constantly trying to buy you things

You don't have enough fingers for the rings he's showed you and wants to buy you

"Tom, I don't wear jewelry all that often."

"So... it's just 5000 dollars... no biggy."

There have been a few times you swallowed your tongue over the 'no biggy's' Tom speaks of

But you just hold his hand and look as pretty as he makes you because he's insistent

He buys you clothes and jewelry and makeup and whatever you need and sometimes... if you're short money from the diner he'll pay a bill or two

Sometimes you're so grateful... and he may get repaid in a blow or two or maybe some good sex but the thanking is enough for him

He loves when you sleep over at his place and wear his shirts and look middle class domestic

And sometimes he loves that life too

Being rich is stressful

But there's a lot of parties and galas and all kinds of stuff and he likes to buy you dresses

And when it comes to sex, he can't get enough of it

He's obsessed with how you look naked and how you feel

He loves the way you look on your knees

He loves the look on your face when he eats you out

And all the positions... oof

Missionary: loves the way your face looks when you whimper and moan

Doggystyle: loves the way you cry out when he hits that special spot

Cowgirl: loves the way your tits bounce

Reverse cowgirl: loves the way you lean on the bed between his legs and he can just kickback and watch you take him

You guys have done it standing

And he's kinky so you have toys and lingerie and heels and all

You have a pair of red bottomed heels that he literally calls the sexy time shoes

He's a major dork

But okay... back to your first times for sex

There's this place you now call first time lake because it's where you've done everything for the first time

The first time you gave him a blowjob was when he was showing you this little cave thing behind a waterfall

Real pretty until you turned and he had a boner and asked you to blow him

He also got a handjob near that same waterfall but... ehh

He doesn't particularly care for it

The first time he went down on you, you were out with him and his brothers who went out on the lake while you sunned and Tom rubbed lotion on your back and just stayed on the boat and all

And then he appears and puts more lotion on your legs and you smile and look at him over the bridge of your sunglasses and he can see your nipple because you're not wearing your bikini top

No weird lines fam

And he just wants to taste you so he just drags you to where he's out of sight and you're watching to make sure his brothers aren't suspicious and when he pulls your legs over his shoulders and dives in, you just gasp

He's good at oral and you're not surprised

You cum fast and he's sitting up with a proud smile, kissing you

"Back to it. You're gettin a nice tan."

The first time you guys sleep together is similar to your first oral

It's on the same boat and while you're watching them play a similar form of water polo, giggling and all, Tom sneaks up behind you and holds a finger to your lips, drawing your bottoms down and gently sliding up into you

"You're beautiful. This is an amazing first time sweet thing."

Within minutes, your hand on his wrist, you both cum together

He loves everything about you and he loves spoiling you

The little look on your face when you're annoyed is worth it

And you love him

The longer you're together, the more he can see spending the rest of his life with you

He can see himself throwing an extravagant wedding and inviting all of New York and London

He can see himself making love to you nonstop on your wedding night

He can see you going to shops and them calling you Mrs. Holland

He can see himself knocking you up with as many curly haired babies as you like

He can see those sexy times shoes being changed to baby making shoes

As many as the both of you decide on

He can see all of this in your eyes, in your smile, in everything you do

He loves you more than anything and the feeling is mutual

Despite him being a little shit

[smllgrlbigwrld]

Harry & Y/N don’t talk, but when he offers to be her bf she thinks its not that crazy.

Hello! This lil story just popped into my head and I was like I gotta write it! I was mainly inspired by “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” Just a different concept obvs. I hope you enjoy! :)

They aren’t best friends, but yet they aren’t strangers. They were more like acquaintances. On the occasion they would exchange small side hugs or give each other a welcoming smile whenever they’d cross paths, to be friendly of course. But they never really conversed. Usually whenever Harry went out to a party or to a bar with some of his close friends, she’d be there too because of mutual friends they had.

Harry never really thought about her, but he wondered who she was or how she knew some of his best friends. Y/N knew who he was though, how could she not. She genuinely enjoyed Harry’s presence. She enjoyed his music and the way he carried himself whether it was on stage or in the comfort of their friends.

Harry didn’t mind her presence either, but there was always some sort of quietness around them. They had never made an effort to get to know each other on a personal level. Most of the time they would crack jokes, share crazy experiences they had, or play a game of pool, but they were never alone doing these things, it was always amongst the few friends they shared.

Sometimes he would stand off to the side somewhere and scroll through his phone, watch his mates from afar play an intense game of pool, or he’d just walk away to grab a snack off the table at a party he wanted to desperately leave because he was tired. Those were the moments his friends would take advantage of. They’d walk up to him and nudge his hip, causing him to turn around at them raising his eyebrows in slight annoyance.

And this time, Harry was at the snack table for the third time already grabbing whatever was splayed out across the table. He feels someone grab his hip a little too harshly. It was Jeff.

“H, why don’t you walk yourself over there and have a chat with Y/N? She seems pretty bored, just like you apparently, this is like the millionth time you’ve came to this table already.”

Harry looks at him with a tight lipped expression, and furrows his brows. He’s staring intently at Jeff, perplexity written all over his face. “What?”

“I said go on over towards Y/N, the girl in the black dre--”

Harry quickly interrupts him. “No, no I know man I heard you. But we hardly know each other.. don’t really know what we’d talk about, she’s just a mutual friend really.”

“Oh c’mon! How can you possible say you don’t know what to talk about, sure you do! You talk to pretty much everyone. You’re a natural H!” Jeff says with a scoff.

He chuckles and his eyes go over to scan Y/N. She’s sitting on a white stool at the small bar in the kitchen and her eyes are a bit droopy. He knows she’s tired because she’s facing some friends that are sitting on the floor watching them play some sort of card game with a very unamused look.

“Y’know what? M’so fuckin’ bored, why not.” He huffs defeatingly and walks over towards Y/N. Jeff pats his back and laughs, already rooting for him.

Harry wasn’t shy necessarily. He just never initiated a conversation with her and she never had either so he figured maybe it was best they were just casual acquaintances. He didn’t know her at all so the only thing he could do was assume and vice versa.

He taps her shoulder with a small bit of force and she quickly looks over at him, a bit startled. “It’s Y/N, right? Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” He laughs at the way her eyes go wide and sits down next to her.

“Oh.. hey there Harry! Y-yes thats my name. No worries, you just scared me a bit!” She faces him and smiles widely. “How are you doing?” Her eyes blink rapidly because she’s still a bit shaken up at the way he approached her.

He gives a short laugh. “I’m great, a bit tired but s’all good. You?”

“Oh gosh me too!” She smiles lazily.

He decides to just come on out and ask her since he was curious as to why she was just as bored as he was.“Sooo, why aren’t you playing with them?” he says motioning towards the many people sitting in a circle on the carpet playing a game, their loud voices and laughs filling up the room.

Her lips go into a pout and she furrows her brows. “I-umm-I don’t really feel like being here to be honest with you. I’m exhausted. I’ve been out and about with one of my friends all day, did some catching up or whatever, and then I kinda got dragged back here without a say in it.” Her chest rises up and down, her shoulders slump just a tad bit and she lets out a huff through her nose. “I’ve just been sitting here scrolling through my phone every once in awhile, but even doing that bores me so, sitting and staring at them it is.”

He lets out an exasperated sigh and crosses his arms. “I know what y’mean. It’s just been a long day and I’d really love to go home and sleep.” He gives her a confused look. “But wait..why don’t you just go to the backyard? I seen quite a few of your friends back there. You avoiding someone out there or what?” He snorts and looks at her with the most puzzled face.

She groans and turns around in her seat, her elbows rest on the tables and her hands are covering her face. “Oh my gosh, I actually am. Is it that obvious?”

“W-what? No I mean I was just joking around love, but I just thought it was a bit strange that you’re sitting here obviously bored and sleepy, but all your mates are right out back!” He says with a raised but playful voice.

Y/N lifts up from her elbows and turns back in her seat to look at Harry. She licks her lips and her eyes are rapidly looking around him as if she was trying to avoid something or someone. She breathes heavily. “Yeah..I know. It’s just..I have this friend and h-he keeps trying to talk to me. She pinches the bridge of her nose and closes her eyes in frustration. “He doesn’t get it through his thick skull that I am absolutely NOT interested in anything he has to say or offer.”

He stares at her intently as she opens her eyes and puts her hands back down into her lap. She notices he’s staring at her a bit wide-eyed so she stares back at him and tilts her head to the side. “W-what? Oh no. Is he in here?” Her voice comes out shaky and she freezes up where she is.

He has a cheeky grin plastered on his face. “Y/N you didn’t even tell me who he was, how would I know if he was in here?”

“Oh yeah huh.” She laughs and puts a hand over her forehead as she realizes this. “Well, it’s Lukas. You ever see him? He’s literally always around me, doesn’t matter where the hell I am, he manages to tag along with my other friends. He has jet black hair, wears glasses, and has a birthmar--”

He cuts her off as soon as he realizes who she’s referring to. “A birthmark near his nose! Yeaah I’ve seen him plenty of times. Most of the time actually. Is he bothering you or...?”

Her face illuminates and whatever drowsiness she felt earlier was now down the drain. “Yes! I mean yes that’s him but no he doesn’t try anything but I just reallyyy don’t want to talk to him. He’s a cool guy sure, but no means...no. Ya know? I don’t know he’s just a bit bumptious.” She murmurs. “I’m not really looking for a relationship right now but he just thinks he’s the shit and that he can win me over eventually..”

He scrunches his nose.“Egotistical huh?” What a dickhead. But.. what if I were to propose an offer to you?” He sneers at her and she eyeballs him as if he was crazy.

She cocks an eyebrow. “And what exactly are you proposing Harry? I hardly know you. What makes you think I won’t second guess whatever it is you’re scheming?”

As much as they were strangers, Y/N can’t help but note how comfortable it was to talk and be around him. Why didn’t they ever talk on a one on one level they both wonder.

He snickers faintly but his demeanor changes and it’s more serious this time. “So, this Lukas guy. Y’said he wants to be in a relationship with you so…” He stops and analyzes her expression, he’s trying to determine whether or not she’s catching on to his idea.

Y/N is clueless until it finally hits her. He wanted them to pretend date and get Lukas jealous, probably get him a bit riled up. “Wait. Harry? No way r-really!? She reiterates and her mouth is hung open, shock all over her face. “No you’re messing with me! You’ve gotta be Harry!”

He looks at her with a straight face. He doesn’t know whats gotten into him but he was so bored, he would kill to do anything a bit more fun than what he was just doing a few minutes ago. “It’s not that crazy Y/N! It’s just for show. M’doing you a favor aren’t I? We can do what you’re comfortable with alright? Hold hands, give quick pecks on the cheek, and I-I guess act like we’ve always been close y’know? I doubt he’ll notice that we’ve never really spoken, you said so yourself, he’s self-absorbed.”

Y/N looks down towards her wedged heels and bites the inside of her cheek. She’s in deep thought until she finally speaks up. “Hmph. I mean it’s not all that bad, he is really annoying and I’d love to keep him out of my hair. But how does this even work? Where do we even start? This is the first time we’ve held a conversation for more than 5 mi--””

He grabs her hand in a fast motion which causes her to stand up from the stool. Y/N is surprised at his sudden movement and stays silent, waiting for him to explain himself. Determination is spread across his face. “Okay I know it’s a bit mad but look just trust me! Just c’mon Y/N!” He gives her a smug smirk. “Or should I say…Babe.”

//

Thanks for reading! Let me know if I should make a part 2. I’m thinking about ideas regardless but it is nice to get confirmations / feedback!! 

**part 2 is up!!**