#Weirdly autobiographical for me

[lavender-ghosting]

hey babe, are you okay? you just watched 5 back to back playthroughs of the beginners guide

[sisterdaniela]

okay so silly but me and my friends were looking for chill games that we can play together remotely now that we live in different countries.. and one of them said "hey what about keep talking and nobody explodes???" and i was like "omggg i never played it but i know it, it looks so fun!!" and i genuinely could not remember where i knew that from tbh! and just now, youtube recommended me a video called "dan and phil play keep talking and nobody explodes". weird

[thatpodcastkid]

Magnus Archives Relisten 1, MAG 1: Spoiler Free

This my thoughts/analysis of MAG 1, Angler Fish, with no spoilers! Hope you enjoy!

Facts: Statement of Nathan Watts, April 22nd, 2012, taking place in Old Fish Market Close, Edinburgh. I want to keep track of statement times and places so we can get some semblance of a timeline.

I love how autobiographical Jon gets at the beginning of this episode. Genuinely if his job were just to make audio versions of the statements, there would be no need for all of that context, so clearly there is a personal element there. I wonder if it's just because he feels the context is important, or if he's been told by Elias or someone with more experience that that's what an archivist should do.

I'm definitely a big believer that anything an author writes is relevant, so what seems important to a character should seem important to you. In that vein, it's really interesting how Jon glazes over Tim and Sasha to focus on Martin at the beginning of the episode. It seems like Tim and Sasha being good at their jobs is less important to him than Martin being bad at his. Kind of a "living rent free in your head" moment. Why are you so focused on Martin, Jon?

In terms of the actual statement, it's definitely eerie, but Jon's right in saying there's nothing inherently supernatural about it. But I think there's a very interesting trope in horror in which the thing that makes something supernatural is just that it feels supernatural. The writer's goal is to make us feel what the character feels, and if they think something is abnormal, we assume it is. The horror comes from our recognition that, no matter what we believe, we would feel unsafe/scared in the same scenario. You know there isn't a monster in the closet, but you feel like there is. The goal of horror authors operating in ambiguity like Jonny is here is to make that feeling so profound in a character that, where we would doubt our own instincts, we believe their's.

Also, low key funny to me that Nathan Watts had to roll a cigarette for this demonic alley creature. How long did that take. How long were they just sitting there in awkward silence. Do you think he dropped bits of tobacco on the ground.

For the end of the episode, my biggest takeaway is that Sasha is an IT GOD whom I love and respect for reconstructing that photo. But yet again, Jon abandons any academic distance or objectivity to point out "I find it oddly hard to shake off the impression that it's beckoning." It's a weirdly fine line between him just being a little unprofessional and new to his job, to not being able to help himself.

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

More dust settling... I'll talk about Pixar some more, given that this was the year a certain Pete Docter quote caught a loooot of fire...

Mainly, him implying that - ahead of the release of INSIDE OUT 2 - Pixar would back down from making more "autobiographical" films like LUCA, TURNING RED, and ELEMENTAL, and going for more "general appeal" sorts of stories.

I read this as Pixar resigning themselves to the sort-of "genre" that some people think they are. Makers of "what-if" movies, "what if [x thing] were alive?" "What if this thing you've heard of was actually like some world/factory/city?" And restraining the filmmakers from telling stories that meant a lot to them.

And yet... The recently-announced HOPPERS, directed by WE BEAR BEARS creator Daniel Chong, seems to contradicts those statements. Now you may be saying, "Obviously HOPPERS began development years ago, so it would be one of their last films in that vein." I know that. I know how these things work. It was in development as far back as 2020, when Chong returned to Pixar.

That being said, significant revisions could've been made thereafter, prior to the rollout at this year's D23.

But, from the looks of it, HOPPERS - which will be the studio's 30th feature, by the way - will follow in the footsteps of LUCA, TURNING RED, and ELEMENTAL. Stylistically, it's a lot different from the usual Pixar look. Apparently Lindsay Olivares, who was production/character designer on THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES at Sony, is all over this one. It looks very wacky and zoogy and cartoony, much more TURNING RED than TOY STORY and FINDING NEMO.

And the premise isn't "what if [x thing] were alive?" Maybe the beaver habitat will have some of that "it's like a city/factory" thing going on, but the main premise is rather out there. Basically AVATAR with beavers, a girl puts a part of her brain into a robo-beaver in order to be among them and ultimately save them from a threat. Chong will probably execute this in a way that's different and very cool.

Then you have ELIO, which had a dramatic director change, but thankfully a release date delay because of it. More time to shape things, and not rush it out under immense pressure. Domee Shi already has BAO and TURNING RED to her name, while Madeline Sharafian has BURROW. It's also worth noting that Adrian Molina, the film's original director, is still at Pixar and is already at work on another film. Sometimes, directors kicked off of their movies during John Lasseter's reign just straight up left the studio. Jan Pinkava, Brad Lewis, Brenda Chapman, to name a few. The latter had WORDS. Molina's still at Pixar, has a new project in the works, and seems to want to stay. It must've been an amicable split.

They both got this, and in the recent interview Pete Docter did for The Wrap, it seemed like they really wanted the movie going forward to emphasize the feeling of being a kid in a big, often scary and intimidating world. Albeit against the backdrop of a cosmic adventure. What he was talking about there was far removed from the corporate-speak talk in the other articles, which were quite cynical to be honest. The Bloomberg one in particular from a few months back, which whined about Pixar's more original movies and posited that SEQUELS would restore their magic... Hunk o' logic right there!

VFX veteran Todd Vaziri put it best, on twitter.

everything about that bloomberg pixar piece is tras it's pro-"content", pro-commerce, anti-art

Couldn't have said it better myself... So, yeah, different Docter when Iger's gun isn't to his head, or the trades having him answer questions specifically.

Weirdly, INSIDE OUT 2... A sequel, and possibly on track to become the highest-grossing animated movie ever, was more creative to me than most of what came out of Disney - across all their film divisions - over the past couple of years. It could've just been a blah rehash of INSIDE OUT, but there were plenty of clever things here, and all the mixed media characters like Bloofy and Lance. Good stuff. It did not, however, restore Pixar's magic in my eyes. Maybe at the box office, but... I still feel TURNING RED is my favorite film to have gotten out of that studio in years, and I really dug SOUL and LUCA, and had great fun with LIGHTYEAR and ELEMENTAL. So yeah, none of that.

Pixar seems fine, really. They continue to do cool stuff, it seems Docter and crew understand that's the way. It's WDAS who I feel are struggling, but I digress. D23 reminded me that they've got some neat stuff coming.

Surely, the sequel announcements make it seem like that's the future... But really, if it were, the announcement of an INCREDIBLES 3 would've been followed by FINDING Somebody, CARS 4, WALL-E 2, ONWARD 2, etc.

In reality, I think INCREDIBLES 3 is a long way off. Brad Bird "developing" it tells me the film is in its Jack-Jack stages. TOY STORY 5 has had a concrete release date for some time and is full steam ahead, INCREDIBLES 3 is different. I'm sure there will be another original between the 2026 release of TOY STORY 5 and whenever INCREDIBLES 3 comes out, granted that it's not the studio's June 2027 picture. Which I kinda doubt it is, but we'll see.

Let's look at both decades...

The 2010s had seven sequels vs. only four originals.

This decade so far and including the announced upcoming films: Four sequels vs. seven originals. Subject to change, a few more originals and maybe one more sequel can sneak in there. But yeah, night and day difference. Pixar doing two pictures every other year allows them to get more originals out. I'm thinking they'll do a spring and summer 2028 thing like they did in 2022 and hope to do in 2026. (They had also planned that for 2020 and this year.) If so, I can imagine spring going to either Domee Shi's next or that project Adrian Molina is now working on, and summer going to INCREDIBLES 3. Meaning an original for summer 2027. KITBULL director Rosana Sullivan's movie, maybe?

I find it ever curious and frustrating that social media blew up over TOY STORY 5 and INCREDIBLES 3, but there was relative crickets on ELIO and HOPPERS... Complaining drives engagement, as does "TOY STORY" and "INCREDIBLES". Household names. ELIO, what's that? HOPPERS? I dunno. So, yeah.

[grapenehifics]

Not to tell you about *every* time I hear Solsbury Hill on the radio but…

Can you tell us why you picked it as the title for your fic? I feel there’s more to your reasoning than “grab your things I’ve come to take you home” and I’d love to hear your thoughts [it’s also maybe pretty obvious(?) but I’m really, really shit at 1) song lyrics 2) song meanings and 3) applying them to other contexts 🙈]

My friend, there is almost nothing I would rather talk about than the intersection between Peter Gabriel*, Genesis, Solsbury Hill the place, Solsbury Hill the song, and Solsbury Hill the fic.

(*Peter Gabriel, and all the members of Genesis, are real people, and would probably tell this story very differently. But they're not here to correct me [oh god, at least, I hope not], and this is how I heard the story, and I am going to tell it the way I know it. Apologies to all those living or dead.)

Sometime in the late 1960s a group of British schoolboys formed the prog rock band Genesis, and by the early 1970s they were...maybe not world-famous, but huge by prog rock standards, anyway, with a couple of albums and a tour. The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway came out and it was a big enough deal that they got offered an American tour, too.

They were all still pretty young (they'd started basically in high school) and Peter Gabriel, their lead singer and main songwriter, had recently got married and he and his wife had a baby (this will become relevant in a second). So they go on the American tour and maybe about halfway through Peter turns to his bandmates and is like, "so...I'll finish the tour with you, because I promised I would, but when we get back home I'm quitting the band."

The other guys were stunned, obviously, because this was the moment they'd worked for. They'd already gotten through all the shitty garage band years, which is where most people give up, and now they were at the good part! They were on an international tour! The money was good! Their albums were selling! They had more fans than they'd ever thought they'd have! What on earth would possess someone to want to give all that up?

(The part of this story that is less-charitable to Peter Gabriel is that one of the answers he gave was 'more creative freedom' and his band was like...but you already write all our songs? What possible *more* creative freedom do you think you need?)

It wasn't just the band, though. His managers and the record company and everyone all told him that was a terrible, terrible idea, and there were a sizable contingent of Genesis fans who just refused to follow him to his solo career because they were mad at him for walking out on Genesis, wrecking the band, how dare he be so ungrateful...

(Genesis did fine without him, actually. Phil Collins took over on vocals and they had another couple of albums and some hit songs before going kind of weirdly soft-rock in the 80s.)

Also - and this is an important detail - when he left the band, there was no solo career. He didn't have any songs. I don't think he even had an agent. He was kind of on the outs with the industry for pulling that stunt. He spent the first year after he quit - while Genesis was recording a new album without him - just hanging out at home with his wife and baby daughter.

Eventually he did get back in the studio, and one of the songs on his first solo album was Solsbury Hill, largely regarded to be the most autobiographical of his songs (Solsbury Hill is an actual, physical hill in Somerset, near where he grew up). It's pretty blatantly about quitting Genesis, including being unhappy in the band:

So I went from day to day Though my life was in a rut

I was feeling part of the scenery

And liberty, she pirouette When I think that I am free

and trying to get up the courage to leave even knowing it would almost universally be regarded as a really dumb move and would very possibly end his entire music career even though he was still in his twenties:

My friends would think I was a nut Open doors would soon be shut

But eventually doing it anyway:

To keep in silence I resigned

I walked right out of the machinery

I will show another me

Then he writes about how, even though it was scary and he didn't know what the consequences were going to be, he was glad he did it:

Though my life was in a rut 'Til I thought of what I'd say Which connection I should cut

Today I don't need a replacement I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant

And he personifies all this as a person, or more accurately hearing a voice (while climbing Solsbury Hill, hence the title), and the progression of what the voice tells him mirrors the rest of the lyrics. First it's:

"Son, " he said "Grab your things, I've come to take you home."

and

"Hey, " he said "Grab your things, I've come to take you home."

But the final lines are the singer answering back:

"Hey, " I said "You can keep my things, they've come to take me home."

And not to belabor the metaphor, but that's what I see as the equivalent of the first quarter or so of Solsbury Hill the fic, at least the beginning to the Bakersfield hospital chapters. Peter Gabriel and Anakin both got the exact thing they thought they wanted - a record deal, a tour, money, fame, wealth - and then turned out once they had it, they actually didn't really want it all that much anymore, and the reality of it wasn't worth keeping it.

But also mixed in there is some shame, right, because to everyone else it looks like you have it all. Every kid around the world with a guitar and a garage bands wants what you have. Every kid on their school swim team watching the Olympics on TV wants that. And now you've got it, and you're just...going to hand it back? Say it's not good enough? This thing that feeds your family and lets you see the world? How dare you spit on that!

But all they really want - in both stories - is more time with the people they love. And yes, in both cases, there are ways to fix that - Peter Gabriel could have taken his wife and baby with him on tour, Anakin could have not fired Obi-Wan and taken up with Palpatine - but in the middle of that situation and looking down the barrel of year after year of touring and competition and the toll it takes on your body and your mental health - suddenly the smart play starts looking like turning you back on it, tearing the whole thing down, and starting over. Even if it means living without the money and the fame and the recognition and universal goodwill. Who cares. Keep it all. Keep my things; I don't need them; I just need you.

I'm going home.

[wouldvecouldveshouldve]

I think its so stupid how people who ship her with matty or travis are now trying to re-write her entire relationship with joe to make it seem like she was never happy and in love with him. NOW, all the songs she wrote about how much she loved him, how she wanted to marry him, how he was this beautiful object she desired and how amazing their sex life was is either secretly sad or somehow about someone else.

Weirdly enough ive seen some Tayvis shippers try to push the same narrative about travis and kayla, acting like he was misserable for their entire relationship and was just waiting for Taylor to be available because he was in love with her the entire time.

it's genuinely astonishing to me how people can do that. it's like some people just invalidate the love and experiences taylor's had with others, and mark them off as unreal and secretly something deeper just to fit with their delusions and the narrative they desire. just like what some people are doing with travis now.

experiences are what make you human, and that's what taylor's craft is about. she writes songs about her life - an autobiographical look into her life, and sure, they can be over-portrayed and romanticised, but they're still real and a part of what makes her her. just like, when she was with joe, she created wonderful albums like reputation and lover which enunciated those exact feelings and replicated the adoration she had for him.

just because concepts like love and relationships sometimes don't last, or they didn't work out in the way that people expected them to, doesn't mean that they're any less real that the experiences that taylor is going through right now.

it's like a constant cycle of misinterpretation and misreadings into taylor's life, when really, what we do know is right in front of us.

taylor loved joe. but sometimes, things just don't work out. that doesn't make the relationship fake, and it doesn't mean she was always secretly pining over someone else or she was in love with another. and no matter what interpretations of songs are written, and no matter what fans may theorise, the love she held for joe is the only thing that's true.

i think some people need to recognise that.

[goodshipskypirate]

Not that there hasn't been platformers with heavy dialogue flow, but I feel like a lot of the Shopkeeper's obsession with story and a need to talk not only serves as a quirk of her character, but one of those unexpected elements that flows through Sabotage Studio games. You just don't see someone speaking metaphorically or providing analogies through bored retail chats in your average Ninja Gaiden-ish game.

I can see why some people would consider her tales as weirdly overwrought and arguably pretentious. The sequel to the Boy in the Well from Sea of Stars left me dumbstruck (that, and it was, like 4am, so I was sleepy as fuck, and also, I was and still am going through some of my own stuff); it's like I've intruded on someone's private diary. I'm guessing both of these Boy in the Well tale might be autobiographical to Thierry (though I hesitate to make bold assumptions like that), so while there is an admittedly level of awkwardness reading something so intimate, I understand the catharsis.

I'm still speechless on how to take this, even though countless stories draw from a writer's experience, which in turn can be a retelling or an allusion or fictionalized account - whatever. That's the malleability of the narrative.

The one in The Messenger doesn't hit nearly as heavy as the one in Sea of Stars (where, if it was auto-biographical, something struck the writer so deeply since then that it manifested into a tale so emotionally overpowering that the Shopkeeper genuinely had to warn you ahead of time), but he still had something meaningful to say and a lot of gratitude to give.

I can't ever criticize that.

I never posted the full speech of the Boy in the Well from Sea of Stars because it left me drained and weirdly disrespectful if I did (even though it's in a game available to the public), but I want to at least post some of the passages from the last few drops of that story.

May all our stories continue and our journey carry us one step at a time. We'll see if Game #3 continues that Boy who once lived in a well...

[thehallstara]

things i made in 2022

i asked my friends if i should do a roundup of things i made this year and they said yes so!!! without further ado!! (this is gonna be a mix of fan and personal stuff please join me for the ride)

GAMES on nights we dream of stars - my first bitsy!! a semi-autobiographical game about the sky on the nature of ghosts - another bitsy, this one about metaphorical ghosts and the nature of being haunted the end is near - yet another bitsy!! probably my favourite one– a soliloquy at the end of the world agami village - a visual novel made with weiwei xu as part of hand eye society’s SUFest, aka the coolest thing i’ve ever done probably. if you like fish and/or time loops check this one out.

ZINES square roots - a collab zine i did with @tigerquoii as part of @blaseballzinejam!! celestial cartography - my first solo zine, also part of the zine jam. every other zine i was a part of for the blaseball zine jam lmao - what it says on the tin untitled perzine about chronic illness and turning 25 - ditto

SELECTED (OTHER) FANWORKS cards fall where they may - css heavy twine anthology of blaseball stories, if nothing else the formatting still holds up lmao what might have been lost (don’t bother me) - twine about baby “ruthless” triumphant for the wonderful dasy~ and one day i’ll watch them burn with me - aka the bright zimmerman (and haruta byrd) saga. still technically unfinished but may still be some of the best+most fulfilling writing i’ve done all year. the burn with me b-sides - series of 12x100s that expand on the characters of the burn with me series. short and snappy. may also be viewed in zine form fall ball calls - another series of 12x100s that follows the fall ball and it’s drops

and there we go!! 2022 was a weirdly busy year and i can only hope for 2023 to be as fruitful in new and exciting ways 🥰

[c0rpseductor]

i keep thinking about how like the other day when my mom had been out drinking she came home and was like DOGGEDLY apologizing to me for yelling when i was little (least of the problems but she has not unpacked all that i think) and she said like. she feels so awful because it’s her fault i “blocked out my childhood”

like. jesus christ. getting the acknowledgement that like “yeah you have such severe autobiographical amnesia that i NOTICED it” is so weirdly disturbing. like i know i don’t remember stuff but it’s weird to hear her confirm that not only do i not remember stuff but it’s apparently noticeably abnormal how little i actually recall to someone who was there. 😬

[cathkaesque]

There seems to be a real issue in books about contemporary social struggles written by American authors in the 2000s in that they all seem to storify the research process that went into writing them and the characters that are part of them. They're all weirdly autobiographical. Like in Susan L Marquis' book about the Coalition of Immokalee Workers includes little vingettes about approaching Immokalee or meeting the characters of the book for the first time; Dana Frank's book about the anti-coup resistance in Honduras opens each chapter talking about the car rides she had with various social movement leaders and interjects with how she found out about certain events via text messages from those affected. It's a little more forgiveable for Frank's as she was an active part of the solidarity movement with the anti-coup resistance, and her book is partly a memoir of that experience, but it is annoying when you're looking for objective histories of these processes. Like Marquis' account (who used to do research primarily for the US military before weirdly pivoting towards the CIW, bizarre) is one of the more complete histories of the CIW that I am aware of, but it feels saccharine and unobjective given the unwarranted personalisation of the text. It's hard to skip these bits too as often you'll try to and then find key bits of information are hidden within. It's not so much an issue with more historical books, as these movements are long gone and therefore it is easier (or rather hard not to be) given you are limited to a set of historical sources you are interpreting, but I saw the same kind of personalised writing style in Hammer and Hoe as well. Always struck me as a little strange

[kustas]

Besides Mushishi, Tekkonkinkreet, HxH and Witch Hat Atelier, what other manga would you recommend to someone that read and absolutely love those? Since your taste in manga matches mine so well I trust your recs better

There's little common ground between all these, so I'll just list other manga titles I like indiscriminately.

Memoirs of Amorous Gentlemen: historical drama about a french sex worker during a troubled time in her life, vaguely centered around an autobiographical book she starts writing about her clients. Reflections on relationships and sexuality. Short and poignant with refined, elegant artwork

Time Killers: an anthology of short stories by a single author. Various styles and genres are covered. Great storytelling and due to its format and variation remains one of my biggest inspirations

Dorohedoro: grimy urban fantasy about uh, chilling with your friends, gyoza and decapitation? Oozing with style and also plain ooze. If you can handle some gore, it's a classic absolutely worth reading. Just plain fun! Not kidding about the gore, though

Renka: a 90s aborted series about a samurai, only a few chapters long. Also a strong inspiration of mine for reasons I struggle to explain but was formative to me. Refined artwork, strange but compelling pacing, and dope character design. Disclaimer that one's never been translated so you will not find it legally

Hellsing: is Hellsing good? I can't answer that. It's an extremely flawed and stupid series that has a certain appeal in being unapologetically a B movie plot about big boobied vampire babe shoot zombie nazis pew pew. I got into it as a teen and expected the worst upon rereading as an adult, but if you have a high tolerance for dumb shit and read it without taking a single page seriously you're rewarded with stylish artwork and some weirdly solid character writing

Dungeon Meshi: a series that manages to be all at once clever, hilarious, touching and genuinely surprising in its plot happenings. If you like the fantasy genre it's a must read to me

I have not read other works by the authors of Mushishi/WHA/HxH (yet) but I did read some more of Tekkon's author and love what he does all the time, those I did read are, in order

Cats of the louvre: what it says on the tin. Surreal artsy story about belonging and grief

Flower: extremely short, more akin to a graphic novel, a slice of life set in a non existent culture and time period about familial/community expectations. One of the rare physicals I currently own, if you can absolutely order the french edition, it's gorgeous

Number 5: sci-fi political drama. Compelling in being a huge trippy mess. I struggled with that one a lot to be honest, but believe it to be a worthwhile read if you like that kind of stuff, are patient, or want a challenge

Although, I will also recommend branching out to comic books from all over the world, not only Japan! Thank you for trusting my blog with recs :)

[captainfantasticalright]

sorry if this is a weird question, but is your blog name supposed to be ‘fantastic alright’ or ‘fantastical right’??

Not a weird question at all and always happy to reply! It gives me a chance to talk about my favorite musician: Elton John.

The username is “captain fantastic” and then followed by “alright”. Hope you don’t mind me blabbering as to why that is, but I originally only wanted the captain fantastic because of Elton John’s album “Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy”. Weirdly enough, it is not my favorite album of his, but I have always loved the backstory of why it was named Captain Fantastic.

It was the record that Elton would go on to describe as one of – if not the – finest he’d made to that point. And, after its release, on May 19, 1975, it became his first album to enter the American chart at No.1 .John and Taupin wrote Captain Fantastic…, unusually, in chronological order, in the sequence in which the songs appeared. It is basically an autobiographical album and Captain Fantastic is Elton John and the Brown Dirt Cowboy is Bernie Taupin, the genius lyricist behind almost all of his songs. It details the rough beginning, the rough middle and just a journey of self discovery and rising to fame amongst the chaos and poor choices.

And because the original username I wanted was taken, I still wanted to have something entirely dedicated to Elton John. At the time, the song that I thought would fit better with this was “Saturday night’s alright for Fighting”. And because the alright is very highlighted in the song, I thought it would be a nice one to add because when you say the name out loud it should have a sing songy quality to it. (At least in my brain it does). :)

[secretnameofeverydeath]

im writing my first ever fanfiction and it has been an amazing writing experiment/exercise.

firstly because this is my first time writing fiction in english. i'm currently teaching a creative writing course to people who are learning my native language, and although i've been speaking english longer than they have been speaking my language, i still have a very hard time writing creatively. i am constantly frustrated because i'm lacking vocabulary, my sentence structures are weird because i apparently write weirdly structured sentences in my own language (which im also learning through this exercise) but there i have control and a deep intuitive understanding of grammar that i lack in english. the point is, i am now even more impressed when the people in my class write really, really good, creative and beautiful fiction, and i feel i understand at least a tiny bit better why they sometimes get frustrated for lack of words, or when they attempt to describe how they feel, etc.

secondly, because there's no point to fanfiction except my own enjoyment. so this is an exercise in true, self-indulgent writing. i'm only writing because i enjoy writing it and so i'm trying to allow myself to write whatever i want to write. i started out with the plan to write some good ol' fix-it stuff and hurt/comfort, but of course i linger on death and dying and what it means to see someone close to you die and on grief, and i'm actually way less invested in the hurt/comfort plot because i do not want to fix these characters i just want to study them oooops.

the thing is, all these things feel so shameful to do when i'm writing literature - like, come on, choose a happier or sillier topic, like come on not again a story about death and grief? like i always feel like i need to then at least be funny, or it should not be too autobiographical, etc etc, etc. there are so many rules i feel i need to abide by and im very scared to be too much, and i find it so very hard to believe other people might be interested in what i am interested in, or my thoughts, so i tend to keep the things that are purely written for me, in different folders on my laptop that will never see the light of day.

but there's nothing to gain from writing fanfiction except the pure pleasure of it and amazingly sweet comments from readers. so it's an exercise in allowing myself to write self-indulgent bullshit, to include those stupid literary rants and descriptions of death and dying, and to actually publish it. and then when people comment they want more, are invested, or actually like the literary rant, it makes my heart jump a little.

and of course there are all kinds of fanfiction rules and fanfiction etiquette im probably failing to abide by, but this is a new genre so i do not yet feel like i need to have it mastered and also once again: there's nothing to gain from writing it so what does it matter that its probably all a bit too analytical and my style is weird and the characters are maybe a bit ooc? nobody has to read it, and if people read it and hate it it's simply their problem and it does not even directly reflect on me because yes im definitely attempting to keep this shit as anonymously as possible.

[kyomunosaki]

A handful of celebrity chef memoirs I really liked

Plus a rant on Chang's work, and a way general audiences can enjoy memoir as a genre

I don't have all too much interesting to say about them, but they're all definitely worth a read. The audiobook versions are pretty amazing, especially since they're being read by the authors themselves.

Bourdain's excellence goes without saying, but Chang's memoir (he's the Momofuku/Ugly Delicious guy) is seriously underappreciated. I think I just saw the cover at a bookstore once, and was just weirdly drawn to it for some reason.

The Sisyphus imagery being evoked with a celebrity chef memoir seemed interesting, and the further elaboration in the beginning of the book, of it being Oddjob and I think? an allusion to the Allman Brothers Band, might be enough to draw some of you in.

It was especially interesting for me to read as both an Asian-American and Japanese (Just FYI Chang is Korean-American, he taught English in Japan for a while). A lot of the work discusses Asian identity in general, and talks about some of Chang's artistic work in relation to this within his restaurants, which is genuinely super interesting to learn about. There's a lot I think Asians can take away from this work, especially since I think "Confucianist" upbringings are somewhat common for us.

The order I experienced the three also worked out well, since there happen to be some through-lines and discussions of similar topics from different points in time and from different people. I don't really want to impart my own meaning onto these autobiographical works, but it gave me a lot to think about in general.

I honestly didn't expect so much from these works, since so much of what a celebrity chef is in the popular consciousness is "persona" in a sense. And more specifically, "exaggerated persona to make money," say Chang's typical public persona and like Gordon Ramsey. I don't think I can really draw the line with what is and what isn't persona or exaggerated with these works, nor am I qualified to do so, but at the very least: I can say the experiences presented in them are extremely human, and heartfelt, regardless of veracity to one's character or real events.

Genres like memoir are ultimately not a life-accurate recollection of various happenings, but just a work of writing created for public release, and I think that is important to always keep in mind. But regardless of that, they often still work as a work of narrative, and we can always look to it to try to understand it in some sense. Understand, not as in fact-check or comb through and try to guess what's real or who's actually "Bigfoot" in real life; but as any work of writing, just engage with it through good faith, and try to derive some personal meaning from it.

Also I should just make a note somewhere here, or else I'll get yelled at, but biography and history are still very important and noble pursuits; however, it should probably be left to academics lol. There is still definitely an element of historical interest to pick up on, but that should somewhat go without saying in the genre that is "memoirs." What I'm trying to get at is what other things this genre can provide for general audiences, and to just make a point to not worry too much about historical truth or accuracy of some portions.

TL;DR

Back to the works I mentioned first, would I recommend them? Definitely. I'd somewhat urge you to check them out in release order, alongside any other celebrity chef memoirs that interest you. It's really interesting to see the changes in the landscape and just changes in ideas over time, and does have some interesting history too. Just a lot of interesting stuff to read about.

Memoirs as a genre are pretty interesting, and I do think they can be enjoyed in a lot of ways. The typical way of just reading it as literal is great, but just thinking about the narrative of the works I think can have immense value as well, since that is kinda how they're written.

[teashadephoenix]

❌ and❔for the ask game!

❌What WIP do you find the most challenging? Why?

I'm not sure any singular one of them is challenging, really. The one challenge I face, with all my WIPs, is their scope. They big. They long. They have many words. xD And I want, so much, to just slap the synopses up here and call it a day. But I also want to write them out as stories, and for the prose to be good, and engaging, and fun to read. I've never had a problem coming up with ideas or names or titles. For me the challenge has always been getting the ideas out of my head and into words. And that's true of every single WIP I've ever dreamt up.

❔Choose a random WIP and talk about it.

xD "Choose a random one of your children and talk about them" okay well I love all my babies and at any given moment of the day I am thinking about one/all of them. I've got a big Reddie fix-it fic. I've got an absolutely massive Tenth Doctor x Donna one that I've been working on since 2008. I've got a Red Dead prequel. I've got a sandbox TLOU fic that is basically single dad Joel snapshots.

BUT-- the big big BIG one is my original work that I've been building for an embarrassing amount of time, about twin siblings Aalee and Elles Dering going out on their worldwalk-- a traditional coming of age journey through the countryside of their native homeland to see what theyre made of before joining the ranks of the Marshals, warriors who keep society safe in a world where monsters are real and sometimes the worst of them are human. It's a Western x Fantasy (i mean western as a genre, so: cowboys. outlaws. train jobs and cattle rustlers and lone strangers wandering into taverns. But there's also like big old magical beasts and hermit wizards and magical artifacts that cause curses and stuff. I've often thought of it as a Wild West themed JRPG.) That one is weirdly autobiographical, so it's very close to my heart.

Thanks for the ask! <3

[moistvonlipwig]

Books I Read in 2022

I only finished 8 books this year, but amazingly enough that's actually more books than I've read per year in quite a while, so, I'll take it! These books are listed in the order I finished them.

How the Soldier Repairs the Gramophone by Saša Stanišić. I thought Stanišić's Before the Feast was a really magical novel, and this one is also quite beautiful. It's a work of fiction but it incorporates autobiographical touches of Stanišić's childhood growing up in Bosnia and then fleeing for Germany during the Bosnian War. The child protagonist goes on tangents that are often imaginative and whimsical and sometimes heartbreaking and brutal. A really thought-provoking read.

Remote Control by Nnedi Okorafor. As always with Okorafor's work, the worldbuilding here is excellent and makes you want to spend book after book inside it. I really like Sankofa as a protagonist as well. It didn't quite feel like a standalone book and after looking it up I guess it's in the same universe as some of the books of hers that I haven't read -- I'll have to check those out. I do hope she writes more about Sankofa in the future, though.

The Dark Forest by Liu Cixin. This book was good but not as good as the first one in the trilogy, The Three-Body Problem. I also have to admit I found it kind of sexist. The subplot with Luo Ji imagining up a perfect woman only for her to actually show up and then fall in love with him with no complications whatsoever...not a fan. Also, I can't help but feel that this book would've been better with Ye Wenjie as the protagonist; she is by far the trilogy's most interesting character and yet she's relegated to a brief cameo. Oh well. The actual ideas in the book are still really interesting, and Da Shi is still a legend.

Unexpected Magic by Diana Wynne Jones. A fun collection of stories. Weirdly enough I'm actually not sure I've read any DWJ before? Which is wild to think about since I have a ton of her books because my mom was such a big fan. (Obviously I've seen Miyazaki's Howl's Moving Castle, but I've never read the book.) This was a nice introduction and made me want to dig into my mom's old collection and read some more of her. My favorite stories were the two written from the perspective of cats, "What the Cat Told Me" and "Little Dot". I mean...are you surprised? Lol.

We Were Liars by E. Lockhart. So I think the best way to sum up how I feel about this book is that I really wish I could read a version of this book written by William Faulkner. The basic plot of the book is twisted and haunting and somehow deeply Southern Gothic despite being set in Massachusetts. But the writing is just...fine? There are moments where the prose takes a more impressive turn but mostly it, well, feels like it was written for teenagers. Which it was. But still. I think a version of this book written for adults (and, again, preferably written in a Faulkner-esque style) could've been fantastic. Also, this is minor, but for a book called We Were Liars, there was remarkably little lying going on. Like...weirdly little. Where was the lying, E. Lockhart? You promised me lying!

A Mercy by Toni Morrison. Ah, Toni Morrison, how I've missed you! It's been a hot minute since I've read her and it was so good to come back to her. This book is short but packed with lyricism and depth. The way it switches between different characters' perspectives and imbues all of them with humanity, even the ones who don't treat other people with humanity...the way the title emerges throughout the book in brief glimmers, only to be heartwrenchingly pushed to its limits in the last few pages...God, I've missed Toni Morrison.

Storm of Locusts by Rebecca Roanhorse. A good sequel to Trail of Lightning, although I admit it's been a couple years since I read that book so my memory of it is a bit fuzzy, and I kind of wish I'd stopped to re-read it before going into this one. Still, I was able to follow the story, and it's a compelling tale with some really great imagery and fun characters. (Ma'ii, my beloved!) I would love to see a big-screen or small-screen adaptation of this series, if Roanhorse is up for it.

Antigonick by Sophokles, translated by Anne Carson. This is the first Anne Carson translation I've read and I found it really intriguing and fun to read. The way she manipulates language and plays with anachronisms is so interesting. I would love to see this performed; I think you could do a lot of really cool things with it.