I have a day off tomorrow which I sorta intend to spend on writing, possibly some short things just to get back in the saddle rather than risk getting overwhelmed by my Big Boys, so...
Anyone have a ficlet prompt?
Fandoms I'm willing to write for include but are not limited to: Discworld, The Untamed, Attack on Titan, Ace Attorney, The Locked Tomb, Doctor Who, Merlin, Black Sails, Sherlock, buffy the vampire slayer, Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, Good Omens (strictly the book, not the TV series)
No promises, given that my writing skills have been in hibernation for almost a full year, but yknow. Send me a fandom, pairing or character and prompt and things may happen.
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I actually had more sympathy for Jesse’s parents on this rewatch. Like overall they’re not some abusive monsters who never cared about him. They very obviously DO care about him. Their house felt safe enough to Jesse that he went there when the meth had him feeling paranoid and strung out. When Jesse calls his dad after being questioned by the DEA he mentions getting a job “in data entry, like we talked about”, and Jesse’s mom says “I can’t do this again”, and Jake says Jesse’s all they ever talk about, so they’re obviously in a cycle of trying to help Jesse and seeing him go back to drugs. It’s easy for us to kind of forget the ramifications, because of the scope of the show and because we love Jesse and are seeing his POV and definitely because Aaron Paul’s teeth and skin are nice lol, but Jesse is addicted to crystal meth. And he’s SELLING crystal meth! This is not just weed. It’s a pretty big fucking deal. And his parents talk about getting him help, and they let him come inside and sleep and eat a few meals and wash his clothes. Maybe you could consider that the bare minimum, but it is something. When Hank is talking to Jesse’s mom, she’s not dismissive of Jesse or uncaring. She’s obviously very sad about the state of Jesse’s life, and when she starts to clock that Hank’s investigating Jesse, she gets protective and makes Hank leave. They evicted Jesse from his aunt’s house, but to give them a bit of grace, his mom did find his literal meth lab in the basement lmao. Which they threatened to tell the DEA about but never actually did. They seem to be in that place with an addict where you’re trying to balance giving support without enabling; his dad even says they need to try tough love. (Personally I think it shows they don’t really know Jesse all that well because tough love is not the right method for him, but they probably feel like they’ve tried everything else.) When Jesse’s talking about that perfect box he made in shop, his initial lie is that he gave it to his mom, and when he tells the truth it’s clear he really regrets that he didn’t actually do that. In El Camino, I really think they want him to turn himself in because they think he’ll be safer and maybe they think he’ll get some leeway if he turns himself in rather than getting caught. It doesn’t seem like they call the cops when he calls and asks them to come get him; they rush out right away and all the police are in regular, unmarked cars.
But….
I can never give them grace or forgive them for that car decal that was Mom, Dad, and Jake but no Jesse. Like what the hell is that?? And it seems absolutely outrageous to me that his parents, with everything that happened between them and everything they’re seeing on the news, took the opportunity to talk to him and only said “turn yourself in.” No “I love you.” No “be safe.” His dad saying they hadn’t talked to him in a long time, since “way before all this” really rankled, too. They purposefully distanced themselves from him. They made sure to say on the news that they’re not involved in this because they’re not in his life. I really do think they cared and were scared for him. But at every turn it just seemed like they didn’t care enough to actually understand what he needed or how to get through to him.
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chiluc angel au my beloved
open for better quality | no reposts | ID under the cut
[Image description: Two pages of traditional sketches. One page is of angel Diluc's design and the other is of civilian Childe's design. Diluc's halos, shirt cuffs, and veil are drawn in further detail. Childe's outfit under his jacket is shown. Both pages show front and back views of the characters' designs.]
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Thinking more on the "was always a woman" trans ideology, which is totally fine, but never fit my view of myself in my personal journey.
My unfortunate truth is that I lived 25 years fully convinced of the idea I was a "man", and I always would be simply because "thats how it is". Perhaps more accurately it never occurred to me i wished to be a woman until it finally did. Looking back with retrospect sure there were plenty of signs and hints I was transgender, but that doesn't change the fact of my history.
I was a boy, and I tried my best to be a "man". When I realized that wasn't what I wanted I then tried my best to distance myself from that entirely, because I was under the impression that thinking too much about the before times was "not doing it right". Since I personally could never feel like I was always a woman.
Once I realized i was trans i tried my best for the first several years to forget my past. Forget everything that he did. Forget everything he was. It didnt feel good or healthy, but I foolishly thought I needed to.
Thankfully I'm in a good place about it now. I am a lovely lady, but I wasn't always. I am a transgender woman. However I can't simply ignore the first quarter century of my human existence anymore. I felt like a boy, and I lived as a man.
He's very special to me now though, very personal. I wouldn't say I'm him anymore, but he is me. We are separate, but still one. He's in my heart. His experiences are mine. We share this body. I love him for everything he did for us. I cannot forget him, and his struggles. He worked far too hard to simply be forgotten. He paved our way for me to become a the woman of both our dreams.
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when i mention that i have the most individual MiA fics out of any author on AO3 i am not bragging. mostly i am sad about this. fic scene is very small, total of ~200 works in all languages
i am also always noting that the characters i'm likely to read/write about aren't the same ones as the characters most of the rest of the already-small fic reader and writer scene for The Hole Show is likely to read/write about. so the following results aren't news to me
but i hadn't thought to actually compare character tags for the whole fandom to character tags for my work, and the sheer disparity between 'tags of the fandom' and 'tags of the author who wrote the most individual fics in that fandom' is...funny lol. (left: MiA tag as a whole's most tagged characters; right: ebilfic's most tagged characters
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My absolute favourite thing about returning to this blog after a few years and getting into musical films again is finding out how many of the old ones have been released on Blu-ray in the meantime. There used to be so many movies that I never even attempted to gif because I only had them in potato quality. That’s still the case for some (especially if they don’t star one of the major performers) but... The Pirate! For Me and My Gal! Gosh I’m so happy. Not even sure how much I’ll get back into gif-making because I don’t have much time but even just rewatching these movies in good quality is such a different experience altogether. Anyway, just a random observation haha.
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