#What is the qualification for speaking English?

[englishspeakingcoursetipandtrick]

What is the qualification for speaking English?

Qualifications for Spoken English classes near me, in the context of language proficiency, typically refer to the level of competence and fluency a person has attained in the English language. There is no one-size-fits-all qualification for speaking English, as language proficiency can vary widely among individuals. However, several widely recognized language proficiency tests and frameworks are used to assess and certify a person's English speaking abilities. These qualifications can serve as benchmarks for English language proficiency:

Common European Framework of Reference for Languages (CEFR)

The CEFR is a widely accepted framework for assessing language proficiency, including English. It divides language proficiency into six levels: A1 (Beginner) to C2 (Proficient). Qualifications based on the CEFR may indicate a person's level of proficiency, such as "CEFR B2 in English."

TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language)

TOEFL is a standardized test that assesses English language skills in reading, listening, speaking, and writing. TOEFL scores are used by universities, colleges, and employers to determine English proficiency. Qualifications may include TOEFL scores, such as "TOEFL iBT score of 90."

IELTS (International English Language Testing System)

IELTS is another widely recognized English language proficiency test used for academic and immigration purposes. IELTS scores are reported on a scale from 0 to 9, with bands indicating proficiency levels. Qualifications may include IELTS scores, such as "IELTS Band 7."

Cambridge English Qualifications

Cambridge English offers a range of qualifications and tests, including the Cambridge English: First (FCE), Cambridge English: Advanced (CAE), and Cambridge English: Proficiency (CPE). These qualifications assess different levels of English proficiency.

ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages) Certificates

Some institutions and language schools offer ESOL certificates to demonstrate English language skills. These certificates may indicate the level of proficiency attained, such as "ESOL Entry 3."

[f1goat]

more than friends ; lando norris + part five

In which your best friend is going to help you to gain more sexual experience and say goodbye to your insecurities, but he's quick to discover that he never wants to share you and your new experiences with others - the only problem being, him having to confess his feelings.

masterlist - playlist

fem!y/n x lando norris

warnings: smut with a plot. minors dni! probably grammar or spelling errors due to english not being my first language.

requested: yes, based on this request: something with a driver sister that’s still a virgin & lando (her bestfriend) suggests to teach her things

a/n: this is a rewritten story, you can find the explanation on my profile

part one / part two / part three / part four

You can’t stop staring at Lando. Everyone else around you is doing the exact same, you’re sure of it. He’s absolutely glowing right now. After his deleted lap time from the qualifications yesterday, he came back stronger then ever. It’s only seconds before they’ll hand him his deserved trophy for the second place from this race. A smile is plastered on your face while staring at Lando. Podiums look good on him. Insanely good. 

Lando is literally glowing. Most people would blame it on the sweat, but you can’t even think about things like that right now. All logic has left your brain, you can only focus on Lando and how good he looks. 

“You did so good!” You almost scream when Lando comes to you after his podium. He’s still wearing that glow from his podium. You can smell the scent of expensive champagne. What if you would kiss Lando right now, would you taste the champagne? If there weren’t this many people around you, you’d have loved to find that out. While Lando doesn’t talk at first, you continue to praise him and his race. Lando gives you a hug, something you gladly return. 

“You know what this means, right babygirl?” Lando whispers in your ear while hugging you. You think back at the conversations between you two from earlier. Is he serious? This is what he’s thinking about right now? You wait for Lando to continue, he must mean something else. “I want you,” Lando speaks up again in a slow but firm way, “in my drivers room, so I can get my celebration right after debrief.” 

You feel your cheeks heating up, they are red now for sure. 

“Can you do that for me babygirl?” Lando continues to ask you. You can’t seem to get out any word right now, so you answer him with a nod. If you did know what to say, you’re sure the words would get lost on your tongue. Lando makes things even worse by pressing a small kiss against your forehead. You wish you could feel his lips on yours right now, but you’re fully aware of all the cameras around you. Tomorrow - or maybe even this afternoon already - you will see this fragment of your life all over social media.

You’re no stranger to social media, but whenever Lando and you make an appearance together somewhere you’re socials seem to fill up with hate. 

Lando walks away from you. It’s clear what you need to do right now. He was quite obvious about his wishes and who are you to deny those for him? Without thinking about it further, you walk back towards the McLaren motorhome. It’s not hard to get into Lando his drivers room, probably because everyone around you knows who you are - and that if they say no, they’ll have to deal with an angry Lando, but you don’t know about that. Instead of making some conversation with the cheerful people who are still around, you walk straight towards Lando his drivers room. 

When you enter his room, you start to feel a bit nervous. What does Lando expect from you? He made his wishes clear, yesterday and today. Apparently he wants to eat you out? The thought alone makes you feel even more nervous. Although you have no idea why. Lando is probably pretty good at it, so it will be more of a celebration for you then for him. Right? Maybe it’s the thought of Lando seeing everything of you that makes you nervous. He hasn’t seen your private parts before. What if they don’t look good enough? Normally Lando dates models, you bet they look a lot better then you. 

You try to shake off the negative thoughts and focus on your Instagram. The story you posted a it earlier about Lando on his podium, is getting a lot of reactions. You scroll through every one of them. When you see a notification from Lando popping up, you almost drop your phone on the floor. Is he serious?

Lando: 5 minutes babe x

Lando: maybe you can already lose some clothes :))

Only the thought about you waiting for Lando in his drivers room in only your lingerie - or maybe even naked, makes you feel too many things at once. Your stomach tightens when you think about it, you don’t know if it’s because of excitement or nerves. Without realizing it, you’re already kicking off your sneakers. Your next movements are going on automatic pilot. At this moment you don’t think about all the people who can simply just walk in and see you like this. It doesn’t even come up in your mind right now. You can only focus on doing what Lando asked you and pleasing him. In a short period of time, the floor is covered in the clothes you were wearing before. The only thing left on your body is your lingerie. It’s a simple black set, nothing too exciting but it does look nice. You think about buying an orange set someday. Are you going to keep it on or not? You doubt. Eventually you decide to fuck it and take it off as well.

You thank the warm weather of today and of this country. The thought of Lando who can be here any second, is enough to make you shiver. It feels strange to wait for Lando naked, certainly while being in his drivers room. Then you realize that Lando has never seen you like this before. The cons are starting to weight up. You start to doubt yourself more and more. What if he doesn’t like the way you look?

When the door opens you’re extremely aware of your surroundings and your own bareness. Why does it only occur to you now that literally everyone can walk in here? You let out a relieved sound when you see that it’s Lando who opened the door. Lando has never closed a door faster. When he sees the way you’re waiting for him, he hurries himself inside the room and closes the door quickly behind himself. After that he’s even more hurried to come close to you. 

Lando can’t tear his eyes away from you. He realizes that he’s staring, maybe he’s even making you uncomfortable with his staring, but he can’t stop. At this moment he doesn’t even think about looking away from you. He never saw you like this before. Everything that happened earlier between you two always happened with you in clothes. Of course, he had some information about your body from the summery looks and the bikinis. But still, this is mind-blowing to him. It’s even better then he imagined and he imagined it quite often… He lets his gaze go over every small detail of your body.

For now his focus is onto your breasts, he notices the way your nipples are sticking out. They resemble small pebbles in his mind. He wants nothing more then to shower them in kisses right now. He wants to feel them in his mouth until he feels them hardenen on his tongue, only to switch to the other one after that and experience it again. He lets his stare slide towards your most private parts. You’re sitting with your legs crossed over each other. He wants to see more of you. He wants to see everything from you. 

It can’t be right that you’re the girl who has made the most impact on him. He doesn’t even need to think about all the other girls to know for sure you’re the most beautiful one. Seeing you naked has caused him to be rock hard in only seconds. His dick is throbbing painfully. He tries to remember himself that this is all about you - and not about him, but it’s hard to stop thinking about his own pleasure while feeling as turned on as now. You’re the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, with and without clothes, and it’s doing way too much to him right now.

You start to feel a bit uncomfortable with Lando his current silence. Was it a mistake to undress this far already? Maybe you should ask him. When you start to think about what to question him, Lando lets out a soft sound. It almost sound likes a moan. You look at him. Lando is still taking in your body. It looks like he’s looking at you full with adoration and lust, or are you making that up? 

Lando walks closer to you. He takes his time to get close in front of you. When he’s finally standing in front of you, he is quick to lower himself so he’s on the same level as you. Then he eagerly puts his lips onto yours. He gives you a soft peck on your lips, before taking a seat next to you. Lando pulls you onto his lap. He makes sure you face him. At this moment he wants to see everything from your body the whole time. 

He presses a kiss against your neck. “Fucking hell babygirl,” he finally mutters. He presses another kiss against your body, this time it’s to your collarbone. “I didn’t expect you to be naked already,” Lando continues, “such a beautiful surprise.” He presses his lips against your body again and presses multiple kisses against it. Slowly he’s getting closer to your breasts. 

You’re already trembling under Lando his touch. He lets out a low groan. “Can I touch you babygirl?” He asks you. You’re quick to tell him yes. Lando takes one of your breasts into his hand, softly feeling around it. He looks at you to focus on your facial expressions, hopefully to find out what you like - and more importantly, what not. After softly feeling around your tit, he takes it in his hand and kneads it softly. 

“Such a good girl,” Lando tells you. 

Your stomach tightens. Your cheeks redden once again. Such small words, but their impact is massive.

“Such a beautiful, good girl,” Lando whispers softly. 

Lando his attention switches to your tits. Your glad about it, because it’s probably embarrassing how red your cheeks are right now. Lando lowers his face to get closer to your tits. He’s still kneading one of them. You almost jump up when you feel his lips against your other boob. He presses soft kisses against it before he starts to suck on the soft skin. You quietly follow his movements with your eyes, not looking away for the tiniest bit. It doesn’t take Lando long before pressing a kiss against your hardened nipple. After that he takes your nipple inside his mouth. You feel him sucking on it softly.

When Lando moves back, you let out a soft whimper. Lando changes his movements. He moves his hand away from your breast, slowly letting it slide lower on your body. In the mean time he lets his mouth hoover over your other boob. It doesn’t take long before he takes your nipple in his mouth. Softly sucking it in again. It surprises you when you feel your pussy clenching. It amazes you when you notice that you feel yourself getting more wet. Lando his mouth is doing all kind of things to you, you can’t complain about one tiny part of it. 

He removes his lips from your breast again. His hands are moving downwards. Quickly getting closer to your private parts. It annoys you that he doesn’t touch you where you need him. He keeps his hand barely above your pussy. You don’t even realize it when you let out a soft whine. 

Lando on the other hand is quick to notice the sound. “What’s wrong babygirl?” He asks you. You notice the small smirk that has appeared on his face. It makes you realize that he’s teasing you like this on purpose. Fucking tease. You want to tell him, but every word that leaves your mouth is begging Lando to do something about the way you’re feeling. 

“I need you,” you softly whimper.

Lando lets out a low groan. Animalistic even. The whiny undertone in your voice makes him lose his mind. He moves himself lower, making sure to take a good position in front of you. You’re still sitting on the couch, Lando is onto his knees in front of you. He takes your legs into his hands, spreading them slowly for himself. 

You look at Lando, but he doesn’t look back. All his attention is on your pussy right now. Before you can feel uncomfortable, awkward or nervous about it - Lando starts to shower you with compliments about it.

“Such a pretty pussy,” He tells you with a low voice. Carefully he slides his hand around it. He makes sure that he isn’t already touching your clit or entrance. Lando knows he’s teasing you, maybe too much even, but he can’t stop himself. He loves the soft combination from whimpers, whines and moans that are coming from your lips. It’s his celebration after all, right? When he takes a look at you, he’s quick to notice the frustrated look on your face. It makes him realize how much you need him right now. A feeling that makes him feel unbelievable good about himself. He wants you to never need anyone else like this. If it’s up to him, he’s the one who you need like this for the rest of your life.

He slides his fingers on your lips. Carefully spreading them a bit with his hands. Giving himself more to look at.

“So beautiful,” he continues to tell you. 

He lets his finger slides through your slit. It surprises him how wet you’re already are. His finger is quickly coated in your slick. 

“So wet already,” he murmurs to you.

He presses a soft kiss against the inside of your thigh. 

“Is that all for me babygirl?” He asks you. 

“Yes,” you’re quick to tell him. 

“Who’s the one who made you this wet?” Lando asks you. He knows the answer already, but he wants nothing more then to hear you say it. He needs to hear that he’s the one who caused this. 

“You Lan,” you softly confess, “it’s all because of you.”

Lando can’t withhold a soft moan after hearing your answer. He presses a few more kisses against your thighs. Slowly he moves closer to your pussy, but makes sure that he isn’t coming closer then your lips. You let out a frustrated whine.

“I need more,” you confess, “Please Lan.”

Lando presses a soft kiss against your clit this time.

“More,” you let out.

Lando grins. He softly slides his finger over your clit a couple times, but makes sure it’s still not enough for you. He presses more kisses against your inner thighs. A thought pops up in his head, what if he made you beg for it? Fuck that would be hot. His dick is getting even harder while thinking about it. 

“What do you want baby?” Lando asks you.

He makes sure his finger is dangerously close to your clit right now. Not onto it, but really close.

“You,” you whimper.

“No, no,” Lando tuts, “What do you want me to do?”

Lando his question makes you silent for a bit. He moves his finger even closer to your clit. Softly he touches it. It makes you tremble under his touch. According to you, it’s absolutely unfair what he’s doing to you. How can he makes you feel like this with barely touching you? For a few seconds you wonder if anyone else can ever makes you feel like this. You highly doubt it.

“If you don’t tell me baby, I can’t help you,” Lando teases you. 

“Fucking tease,” you groan.

“Tell me babygirl,” Lando continues to tease.

You let out a soft trail of whimpers. “Please Lan,” you softly say. He just shakes his head. “Can you please do something about it?” You continue. Lando shakes his head again. “Fuck Lando,” you groan, “just lick me please.” That seems to work. Lando doesn’t reply verbally, he moves his head as close as he can towards your pussy. 

He finally starts to do what you asked him. You remind yourself to tell him what you want sooner the next time - knowing Lando, he will be acting like this a whole lot more. Lando slowly licks around your vagina. He makes sure to lick every part of it before turning his attention to his clit. Still teasing you. When he finally reaches your clit, he presses a soft kiss against it. When you want to let out another beg - for Lando to finally do something, he already starts to place soft, small licks onto it. He’s making sure that he’s not going to fast, but also not to slow. He wants to do this right. He wants you to enjoy this just as much as he is doing right now. When you let out multiple moans, Lando increases his pace a bit.

In the mean time he slides his finger around your slit. He slowly brings his finger to your entrance, but doesn’t push it inside. Yet. Lando knows really well how much he’s teasing you, but he can’t help himself. He loves the way you response to him and the soft begs that are leaving your lips. All because of him. He has fallen in love with the desperate voice you use when you beg him for something. Lando wants to know for sure that he’s the one who makes you feel like this and that you need him. 

You buck your hips. Hopefully Lando gets the hint and finally puts his finger inside. Maybe even more then one now that you think about it. Lando doesn’t respond to your earlier movement. You open your eyes, which you had closes the whole time. To your surprise Lando is already looking at you. Staring even. Before you speak up, you admire the way he looks between your legs. You move your hands to his curls, softly tugging on them. 

Lando still makes soft licks onto your clitoris. It’s making you feel all kind of things. Sometimes he switches a bit and licks around your whole slit. But the things he’s doing to your clit right now, those are the best. Even though you still want more. Greedy, isn’t it?

“Lan,” you speak up with a soft voice. He raises his eyebrow at you, waiting for you to continue. “I need more,” you tell him. Your cheeks redden from embarrassment when you tell him that. Lando removes his mouth from you and takes a good look at you. His fingers replace the movements his tongue made earlier. It still feels good, but not as good as his tongue.

“More?” He asks you. 

“Please,” you beg.

“Tell me what you want babygirl,” Lando states. He increases his pace with his finger. He likes looking at you while you look like this. You’re shaking underneath his touch. Moans are trembling over your lips like they’re your new language. Lando wishes he could save this memory so he could look back at it and enjoy every small detail again and again. His cock is throbbing even more painfully then before.

“How longer you take, how longer you will miss my tongue onto your pussy,” Lando tells you. He hears a soft whine leaving your lips. 

“I need your fingers,” you eventually confess.

Lando still doesn’t give you what you want. “Ask me,” he tells you sternly. 

“Can you finger me?” You ask Lando softly with red cheeks. Before he can react to you, you’re already add another few words. “Please Lan?”

His boner almost explodes when he hears to soft ‘please Lan’ coming from your lips. He doesn’t say anything anymore. He’s quick to move his lips back to your clit and to move his fingers to your entrance again. This time he licks your clit even faster. He hear hard moans coming from you. Is it bad that he’s already getting addicted to the sound of your moans? He wants to be the only one who ever hears these sounds coming from your lips. He never wants to share this sound with anyone else. 

Lando pushes one of his fingers softly inside you. He feels your walls clenching around his finger. Easily he pushes in and outside of you. It doesn’t take him long before adding another finger. He increases his pace and really starts to finger fuck you. In the mean time he focuses on eating you out. He softly sucks on your clit. It makes you almost scream from pleasure. 

“Fuck Lan,” you moan when he sucks even harder on your clit.

He doesn’t response verbally, but he keeps increasing his pace. He even adds a third finger. Your wells are starting to clench around his fingers more and more. Patiently he waits for you to come. He feels your clitoris starting to throb inside his mouth. You feel your stomach tighten. Moans keep coming out of your mouth. You can’t stop yourself. 

“I’m close,” you tell Lando. He reacts by sucking even harder. He moves his fingers even faster inside you. He gives all his attention to the soft, spongy spot inside you. You let out another hard moan. 

“Can I come?” You suddenly ask him.

Lando feels overwhelmed by your sudden question. Fuck. It’s insane how it feels that you’re asking him for permission to come. You’ll literally be the death of him. While Lando doesn’t know how to respond at first, you are having more trouble with holding back your orgasm. The waves of pleasure are already hitting over you in a fast pace. You’re really close.

“Lan?” You quickly ask, hoping that he will respond to your question.

He removes his lips from your clit for a couple seconds. Not any longer then necessary. “Please do babygirl,” he tells you before taking your clit back in his mouth again. Softly sucking it before licking it with a fast pace. He focuses his gaze on your face. He can’t look away from you. When your orgasm hits you, Lando notices everything about it. He sees the way you close your eyes when the first waves hit you. He notices the way your lips are partly open, only to let out a couple soft moans. When you press your legs a bit more together, Lando stops his movements and pulls back. He doesn’t want to overstimulate you. At least, not today. It would be a nice thing to do in the future. 

Lando waits for you to say something. In the mean time he sucks your wetness off his own fingers. He takes place next to you on the couch. You quickly let your body rest against him. 

“Fuck,” you mutter, “that was really good.”

Lando shows you a small grin. “Glad you liked it,” he says. His cock is still throbbing inside of his race suit. “You taste better then the champagne,” he tells you. You let out a laugh. Without thinking about it you press a kiss against Lando his lips, he’s quick to turn it into more. When his tongue slides into your mouth, you taste the faint tase of your own slit on his tongue combined with the bitter taste of champagne. 

Then you notice Lando’s bulge in his race suit. Did eating you out make him this hard? You let your hand rest on his boner. 

“Maybe I can do something for you as well,” you tell Lando with a soft voice.

“I wish,” he grunts almost annoyed, “but we have a dinner and a party to get ready for.”

“Maybe later tonight?” You suggest. 

“I like the way your thinking babygirl,” Lando softly laughs. 

“You still deserve a celebration as well,” you tell Lando. 

“Believe me babygirl, this was a whole celebration,” he confesses, “Next time I don’t even want to stop after your first orgasm.”

“You think I can cum more then once?” You ask confused.

“Add a lesson about overstimulation to your teaching plan babe,” Lando tells you jokingly, but none of his words are a joke. He wants to spend the whole evening between your legs and pull every orgasm out of you that you have. Leaving not even one of them for anyone else.

“Deal,” you react.

Lando can only smile after that. How did this even happen to him? It feels like he’s living his dream, but when he thinks about the fact that you’re still ‘just friends’ they shatter apart. 

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[occamstfs]

Rosa's Cafe

Here's a longer Racial TF set in a coffee shop, Best! Occam

Matthew had clocked up more hours of overtime for his company than they were willing to pay him. He assumed that their guidelines weren’t so rigid and that he would be fine to get ahead early. These days you really need to go above and beyond to get ahead and Matthew was determined to get in the good graces of the big bosses.

Unfortunately working so hard was a misplay. His direct boss was forcing him to take Paid Time Off in lieu of the overtime pay for the past year. Now he sits at home with next to nothing to do, twiddling his thumbs until he can return to the grind. He loved back when he was a barista in college? Maybe he can get back to customer service?

Reflecting on this he takes to LinkedIn to see if there are any managerial spots open for a cafe. Something needs to scratch his itch for administration and he night as well pour coffee while doing so. In a stroke of luck, or perhaps something more deliberate, as soon as he logs in to check listings he sees a manager position at “Rosa’s Cafe.”

He auto-submits his resume to the restaurant assuming he’s overqualified before even reading the listing’s qualifications. Glancing through them he sees that they’d prefer someone fluent in Spanish. Matthew struggles to recall what if any Spanish remains in his head from taking it in both high school and college. He starts to pull up a language app on his phone before seeing that, jarringly fast, he has already been advanced to an interview for this cafe. Rosa herself sending him a message to come as soon as he’s ready. 

Matthew then sprints to check himself in a mirror. He has certainly not slacked in his hygiene since he was asked to stop coming into work, partially in hopes that they’ll need him to come in any day. Today though he throws on some cologne and drives off to Rosa’s Cafe. He doesn’t stop to question how odd it is to already be on the way to an interview, minutes after submitting his resume. They must just really need someone?

As soon as he arrives Rosa is there at the door to greet him, smiling wide and welcoming him into her establishment.

“Hola Matthew! So glad for you to join us, your application was outstanding! Solamente, I was wondering why you wanted this job given your current one?”

Matthew blushes and explains his situation, struggling not to sound like a maniac for wanting to work despite the relatively cushy situation he is in. Although Rosa hears this and is impressed at his ethic, his crave to work. Rosa was more than happy to take advantage of his situation.

“Uhhh there was just one thing though, Miss. Oh uh, lo siento. Señora Rosa.”

“Sí, sí. You aren’t quite fluent en Español, are you Matthew?” He averts his eyes but before he can answer Rosa continues on, “Esta bien. You will just learn on the job sí?”

Putting on an air of determination Matthew pumps his fist “Sí, Sra Rosa! Uh claro que sí,” he attempts, stepping to the limit of the Spanish remaining in his head. Rosa gives him a look like an owner watching a pet as it tries to show off, offering an ambiguous smile before explaining her stance.

“Claro que sí,” offering a knowing nod, “I’m sure you understand why I would want a manager to speak Español, yes? En esta ciudad, in this city, there are very few places where Español is the default. I would just like my cafe to be one of them. The job is of course yours, I would be a fool not to take the opportunity. But while you’re here, mientras estás aquí, please work on su Espanol,” tacking on, “I can’t imagine it will be too long before you’re called back to your job eh? Una estrella como tu” 

To her point there are clearly not a lot of people speaking English in the cafe. Matthew would guess he is probably the only native English speaker present making him blush, although after being flattered by Rosa he was ready to accept. After all he had been meaning to practice his Spanish anyway. He puts his hand out to shake her hand, “when can I start?”

“Well, mi pequeño gerente, why not start training now?” Turning around she calls over the barista Juan to introduce the two, talking to Juan at a speed that made it clear to Matthew that she was quite dumbing down her language in their conversation. She then bids farewell to the two, “adios Matthew! Tengo que ah, cόmo se dice, file your paperwork. Hasta mañana!”

“Hola Matthew, it is nice to meet you! Rosa said to show you around,” Juan smiles offering him a cup of their house roast. “Espero que, ah, I hope you don’t mind but I added canella, cinnamon.” Matthew graciously accepts the cup. He may be a world removed from his time as a barista but instantly returns to his first coffee tasting.

It smelled quite strong, darker than he usually prefers and he can see cinnamon swirling through the cup as the cup steams in his hand. He begins to bring the cup up for a closer smell although as soon as the movement begins the allure of the drink overpowers him and he drinks almost too quickly. It was delicious. He always, almost performatively, drank black coffee at his old job. Or no, his real job?

Juan sees Matthew continue to gulp down the cup of coffee waiting for reaction, though he sees very little sign of his mind processing the drink at all. Matthew’s just staring ahead, his eyes ever so slightly glazing over as he finishes the cup. He grins as it almost looks like the coffee has stained Matthew’s upper lip, offering a napkin before asking, “te gusta hermano?”

Matthew snaps back to his senses, staring at Juan as a small ring of brown starts to stain the center of his icy blue eyes. He struggles to even find the words to describe how profoundly he enjoyed the coffee. It was a passion too great for him to even begin to capture in English. “Juan, that was, cómo se dice? Is there some word better than delicioso?”

Juan laughs putting his arm around his new manager, “Ay hermano! Maybe that’s what you should do now! You just go work on your Spanish and I’ll bring you some samples! Ah, aqui, the employee handbook is in Spanish, practica perfecta!” He brings over another cup and the handbook and Matthew starts struggling through it. 

Matthew figuratively bashes his head into the handbook, it’s not dense but it is per cierto not written with beginners in mind. Smirking as he notices he just reflexively thought in Spanish, going to get another drink only to find the cup emptied once more. He hasn’t been drinking nearly as much since he left the office, bargaining with himself as Juan comes to refill his cup. He can cut back his intake later, he needs to get this through this work.

And work at it he does, caffeine is not making him feel wired as usual but sensual as he continues to page through the booklet. He starts to stretch just to feel the strain in his muscles and the tension in his clothes. He looks down and sees his shirt is fitting much better than he thought it did. It’s not tight but anyone who looks can see there is muscle under there. He stares at his own body feeling strength he does not remember cultivating. Suddenly he notices it’s not only his upper body that’s filling out, as a growing package begins to demand attention under the table. These jeans were clearly not designed to handle this and Matthew is barely able to stop himself from flexing to see just how much he truly can fill this outfit and he attempts to switch gears back to working. Urgently feeling adverse to thinking any further about his body.

Struggling to find any way to distract himself he remembers being historically shit at actually speaking in Spanish. This is as good a chance as any to practice his pronunciation. Matthew begins to mouth the words in the handbook, feeling his tongue in unfamiliar ways that he swears he has done a million times before. Matthew attempts to raise his practice to a whisper and immediately goes into a coughing fit. Hope that coffee didn’t burn my throat he thinks clearing his throat and finding a much deeper voice on the other side. One that announces his Spanish progress to the whole cafe shockingly loud for a whisper though Matthew doesn’t notice. What is immediately apparent to him is how expertly he rolled an R. 

He knows he could never do that, and not without trying. He probably spent half an hour practicing it his sophomore year. He reflects back on how hard he worked on Spanish in the past as his eyes start to glaze over once more. Something is off here, his hand raising to his face not notice a moustache and sloppy goatee start to push out of his face. He foes feel itchy elsewhere though, scratching at his chest and stomach, averting the more animalistic urge to scratch his pits and crotch as Juan begins to walk over.

Matthew quickly tries to meet him halfway, standing to a height just taller than the one he thought he knew to be true. His bulge grazes the bottom of the table which causes his body to convulse in pleasure. His feet are caught on the table as he falls knocking his coffee all over himself and the floor. “Mierda!” He shouts before going dark.

He awakens to Juan wiping coffee off his face, his clothes now certainly stained brown and spelling of rich coffee and cinnamon. Helping him back to standing, Juan makes sure he is alright, “quite the fall amigo! Tal vez we call it a day?” Matthew hastily agrees feeling impossibly strained and weary for what little work he has actually done. Juan continues, “Rosa said the paperwork should be good for you to start tomorrow if you can!” Stumbling to his feet Matt knows he agrees but the rest of his night is little more than a blur. 

He sees Juan wink at him and knows he is going to start tomorrow. He must drive home after that since he is now looking at himself in the mirror brushing his teeth. Something seems off, he is clearly too tired to put a finger on exactly what it is. He flexes his bicep noticing he must have completely disrobed. He thought he shaved his pits recently. He scratches at his crotch realizing that his now heavier cock is also out, pawing at his pubes and feeling his bulge expand even further into his hand before forcing it into some briefs and continuing his audit. 

Didn’t he have a tan? Looking at himself up and down he feels like he isn’t supposed to be this pale right? Isn’t he from? Matthew feels lightheaded and begins to collapse once more before being jarred back to reality smelling the coffee and cinnamon scent still hugging his chest. Using this second wind he stumbles into bed, neglecting to change into his nightclothes and he quickly drifts to sleep.

Matt falls into a dream that feels realer than the reality of his previous life. It’s the middle of the rush and he sees himself working at an espresso machine with Juan. He looks down seeing his body expertly maneuver around the bar, tossing cinnamon into drinks, chatting with customers in truly fluent Spanish. He pauses in this dreamscape to notice the tan he was so sure he had earlier. He sees the tattooed arms he has known for years, he worked hard enough for them after all, might as well show them off on the clock. He raises the hairy arms to flex at Juan and say something clever in his native tongue before being jarred back to reality by a sunbeam.

Matt awakens hearing his morning wood stretch his briefs to their near limit barely able to keep himself together before seeing the time and once more shouting “mierda!” He is already so late for work, they’ve been open for hours. It’s his first real day and he has already jod- he’s already fucked it up! He quickly inspects himself once more, seeing the true version of himself he saw in his dream. Seeing his recently shaved chest he quickly realizes he doesn’t have time for a shower. He smells his pits just to see how bad the damage is. His voice rumbles in his chest, “joder…”

He smells again even deeper, it reminds him of? Oh it is just on the tip of his tongue, which he begins to reach out before remembering his predicament. He throws on a dress shirt before giving one last whiff to his pits, flexing his pecs as he does so. It is so fragrant, almost spicy. Matt postpones the mystery after concluding it should certainly be covered by the smell at Rosa’s and rushing out the door. Not seeing as his chest pops off the top button of his shirt and his neat goatee begins to grow even thicker.

Matt rushes into the door and is greeted like a regular, which he is of course to be now, as the new manager. He feels a warmth in his chest as Juan brings over his first cup of the day. “Buenos días Juan!” Matt offers before going to meet the chef, Benito, as the plan was today.

Making his way back to the kitchen he smells something even more distracting to him than his body odor this morning. Benito runs over with a plate full of arepas that Matt recognizes instantly before Benito greets him, “buenos dias jefe! Rosa said you wanted us to start serving arepas sí?” 

“Rosa? She said, I asked for these?”

“Si! Desde su ciudad natal no?”

Matt’s mouth is overcome as he starts to clearly drool for the plate in front of him. He has no choice but to tear into one which immediately brings him back. He loved these when he was a kid, but? Didn’t he grow up en los estados? Wasn’t he from? He fails to finish the thought in his head before it is wiped away as if fireworks are going of in his mind. 

He beams at Benito as his eyes glaze over and fully darken to brown. He feels an urge to burp which he chokes down with another cup of coffee. “Ay this takes me back amigo, estos son exactamente como, like the ones mi abuela había before nos pequeños…” Matt pauses as he feels a pervasive warmth starts to grow distracting in his chest as a similar itch begins on the outside.

He doesn’t notice as his inner monologue begins to entirely shift away from English, as it should of course. He may live in los Estados hoy, but he was colombiano born and bred. He remembers how hard he worked as a child learning English as his biceps start to clearly strain the already tight dress shirt.

Matt remembers fighting for his place to get a degree at a university that did not respect his native country or tongue as he feels his voice deepen beyond baritone and into a strong bass. He remembers trying to find a place in this mierda ciudad before meeting Rosa as his chest bursts open shooting any buttons remaining off his shirt. 

Rosa then enters the kitchen to see how her new hire has progressed and slyly smiles seeing his progress. She tosses a shirt at him saying in Spanish now effortlessly understood “Oi Matteo! You’re in the kitchen put some clothes on!” 

Matteo shuffles to the restroom to change as he looks one last time in the mirror and sees the flawless trajabador he sees every time he checks himself out. He puts on his nametag flexing to see just how much he can strain his shirt before returning to the cafe, ready to conquer another day in the life he has worked so hard for.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

PINNED POST, FAQ, INFORMATION

Hi, I'm TBSkyen. I make videos on YouTube sometimes. This is my main tumblr blog, the "brand" blog as it were, where I maintain my Social Media Presence™ on this site.

I use the ironic ™ to signal my personal discomfort with the work of being a minor media personality even while I still do that work and make a living off it.

I have a sideblog called @tbposting, mostly for shitposts and reblogs, and in my opinion I have pretty darn good taste in reblogs, so you can follow that if you want. It's also where I'll do random personal posting, microblogging, etc.

This main blog is primarily for 1) answering asks, and 2) posting my Original Content™, usually my main channel videos, as well as the occasional longer essay or critique. Sometimes I'll reblog an interesting or useful thing, or boost a friend's work, but I try to keep the spam to a minimum.

---

About Me

I am a thirtysomething content creator whose primary expertise is character design.

I have a bachelor's degree in English, never finished my master's, did most of a bachelor's degree in history, and that's it. These are my academic qualifications, no more and no less.

My professional experience is primarily being a freelancer and self-employed creator. I spent the better part of a decade working as a commission artist, running webcomics, drawing fanart, and the occasional animation work and not safe for work commissions, and I have at this point a decade of experience and self-study in the subjects I cover. I have also done online community management for, god help me, almost twenty years, so that's a part of my skillset I'll never escape.

I do not have any particular professional creative industry experience, although given what I hear from my professional friends, sometimes that seems like a blessing.

Please maintain a critical distance when engaging with my work. I am a critic. My work is very rarely meant to be taken as authoritative or didactic, and when it is, I will make it clear in my writing. Just because I speak with confidence doesn't mean I am trying to assert objective truth.

---

TAGS (to follow, or filter)

#tbanswers is the tag for every single ask I answer on this blog

#tb reblog is the tag for reblogs

#tb essay is for the occasional longer essay or critical writing

#tbvideos is for my videos and Content™

#tb recommends is for the occasional recommendation of a video essay or other creator

Yes, I know the spaces are inconsistent. It's not on purpose, I just typed them in haphazardly when I started using them and it's stuck.

---

FAQ (before you ask)

Q: Will you ever do a video about ____ ? A: The answer to this question is almost universally "maybe someday, if I have time, and if I feel I have anything worthwhile to say." And the more realistic answer is "no, because I already have far too much on my plate and I have burned myself out too many times." In general, please don't ask me this question, I will most likely not answer it because I have given the same answer a thousand times, but I still feel guilty about not answering them.

Q: Will you continue your series of videos about ____ ? A: Yes! I will continue the let's plays I started, I will finish the Boss Designs series, I will do another What's the Deal With, I will do more shorts about the subjects I've got going on. The main obstacle is, again, my tendency to overload myself.

Q: Do you have a PO box? Can I send you something? A: Not yet, but I'm looking into it. It may be a while before I get it set up.

Q: Do you have merchandise? A: A little bit, yes, at tbskyen.redbubble.com.

Q: What's your opinion on [game/movie/comic/book/etc]? A: I struggle to answer very open, broad questions like this. Most things I have opinions about, I have multiple opinions, and different ones depending on the perspective and specific element in question. I'm much more likely to answer specific, bounded questions.

Q: Can I send you fanart? A: PLEASE. Askbox, tag me on bluesky, send it to my email! I love seeing every piece of it!

Q: Why do you never appear on camera? A: A forest witch cursed me to look not quite but ALMOST like Paul Giamatti in all photos and videos ever taken of me, and his laywers sent me a cease-and-desist.

Q: Are you gay/straight/bi/other? A: The decision I've made for myself, at least for this period of my life, is that privacy is precious, and once given up can never be reclaimed on the internet. I am open about being aromantic (not asexual), because it's a sometimes invisible and underdiscussed identity, and I know it would have helped me a lot to see someone speak about it when I was younger.

The rest of it is for me to know, and for you to speculate about, although preferably somewhere I can't see it. I accept that this is a part of being a Personality, but it still feels weird, y'know?

Q: Is it weird if I find your voice kinda hot? A: I've put a lot of work into developing this voice and making it nice to listen to, so that's not weird at all and I find it quite complimentary, thank you.

I generally don't mind people doing flirty/thirsty posting about or at me, just so long as we all understand that 1) you should never give a stranger like me information which could be used to harm you. Nicer-seeming YouTubers than me have turned out to be monsters.

And 2) it will never go beyond playful online flirtiness. I like to fluster my live chat, I'll flirt back in an ask or a post maybe, but I am not flirting with you, or inviting any kind of closer intimacy with you, the person I responded to.

Think of me like a comedian doing crowd-work at a show - you can chat to me in the bar after the show, but when I asked you what you do for work I wasn't looking for a personal connection, I was doing my work as an entertainer. Please no sending me nudes, or propositions, or confession letters in my email inbox. We are strangers, and I am always performing a persona in public.

[futfemfantasies]

Tillie teasing \\ Mapi Leon x reader

2017

Stepping off the plane in Barcelona, the heat immediately hits you in the face. After clearing customs and collecting the many bags you've brought, a woman holding a sign with your name and the Barca logo under it waves you down. You find out she's the assistant manager and that the team sent. After anxiously fiddling with your fingers, the car turns into Barca's training centre. Backpack in hand, you follow the assistant manager as you meet all the behind the scenes people.

When meeting the team, you look eyes with who you believe is 'Maria'. She smiles at you and holds her hand out for you to take. When someone starts speaking to the both of you, your hands drop and a subtle blush both of your cheeks. You nod as you got the basics of the conversation, something about you and Mapi and an apartment. A soft nudge in your ribs turns you towards the brunette. She holds out her phone and you see google translate on.

Looks like we'll be seeing more of each other beautiful. They are putting us in the same apartment.

You smile and point to her phone as to say you want to type something. She nods and you type away.

Can't wait gorgeous :)

After the flirty interaction, you both move to the locker room and field to check it out. Since you both don't have to participate in this training, coach says you can go home and rest. The same driver from the airport takes you and Mapi to the apartment.

2019

Throughout the 2018/19 season, you, Alexia and Mapi become the Aussie/Spanish trio no one needed but everyone loved. You taught them English and they taught you Spanish in return, allowed Barca to organise more media interviews in the 2nd language. Alexia noticed over the last couple of years how smitten you both are with each other so she decided now is the time to meddle.

"Hola y/n/n, are you free tomorrow at 7?" Alexia asks as she swings an arm over your shoulder.

"Yeah, why?"

"Maps, are you free?" Alexia ignores your question as she turns to Mapi on her other side.

"Depends"

"Great. I'm not so enjoy your date chicas!"

You and Mapi look at each other before laughing at what had just happened. You and Mapi walk to the car talking about who should plan the date.

Safe to say the date led to both of you confessing your love for each other and the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

2020

Before anyone realised, the world was shit down due to covid. You were extremely anxious the first few weeks as the area in Australia where your family and friends live got Covid first. Then you and Mapi saw how fast it was spreading in Spain. Mapi had been your rock through it all. She always was there to distract you from the news from outside. Since you were in lockdown with the rest of the world, you couldn't see your best friends from the Tillies so you all had to resort to Zoom calls.

"So y/n/n, what's up with you and Mapi?" Macca teases as she wriggles her eyebrows in a playful way.

"Nothing is go- hola bebé" Mapi leans over and kisses you quickly before you realise how she's dressed.

"Nothing going on my ass!" Sam yells out, focusing you back on the call.

"Okay we're dating but you cannot tell a single soul. I mean it"

"Oooh protective y/n/n"

2021

Early in this year, the Tillies had a camp in Australia for the Olympics qualifers for Tokyo. Spain had a break during this time so Mapi though she'd come and support you and you girls (but you didn't know that). Currently; you, Sam, Macca, Caitlin, Steph and Alanna are eating breakfast when the woman of the hour calls you. Macca looks at your phone and her eyes go wide at the name.

"Hola bebita"

You stand up and move away from the table to escape their teasing, oh how wrong you were. When you come back the girls are making kissy faces at you and you shush them before anyone sees.

"How's lover girl?" Sam asks with a mouthful of banana.

"Fine, bored without me I think"

"Yeah, I bet she is" Macca mumbles before being elbowed by Caitlin.

A few hours later, you all arrive at the stadium for teh game against China. You are in the starting lineup alongside Sam and Caitlin. For some reason you are nervous, even though you shouldn't be. You receive a text from Mapi of her decked out in your yellow jersey and dark green shorts.

Maps 🔥: not sure which one you're wearing so I'll wear both :) good luck out there mi amor, go qualify for the olympics <3 p.s. i love you princesa 😘❤️'.

You: we're wearing the yellow so your pants need to come off now? 😉 Thank you for watching mi amor, it means a lot ❤️ p.s.s. i love you too. talk after xx

With a boost of confidence, you walk out with your team and made sure you win. After the first half, Australia was still goalless, sam eas China. Going back on the pitch, everyone gives it their all then disater struck. China got a goal. 1-0. You gave Sam and Caitlin the look and you all work in overdrive. Meanwhile in the stands, Mapi was stressing. She knows how important this game and any Matildas games are to you. Normal game time finished and 4 extra minutes were added. You look up and see the extra time and yell to the girls. Within 2 minutes of that, you get a through ball from Caitlin and non one is around so you take a shot. You know it's going in but you check anyway and start running around like a crazy person. Alanna pushes you down and starts a dog pile. The game quickly restarts and then the whistle blows for full time. You wave out to the crowd and see the familiar neck tattoo. You run over to your mismatched girlfriend and hug her tightly.

"What are you doing here?"

"Wanted to surprise you princesa"

You respond by kissing her and pulling away before too many teammates saw.

"I fly out tomorrow. Are you coming with me?"

"Of course, I'll change the flight tonight"

"Meet me at the hotel and you can stay with me" Mapi nods and gives you a quick kiss before moving back for the fans to meet you.

Little do you know, your best friends were watching the whole interaction. You walk back to your friends and they start making kissy faces so you walk away, making them look like idiots.

Back at the hotel, Mapi is waiting texting you every minute if you're here. You get inside and spot her instantly. Mapi feels two arms go around her waist and a kiss on her cheek, she relaxes instantly.

"Ready for bed?"

"Let me get my bag from my room and I'll come?" You nod before telling her the room number. A small peck and she's off towards the elevator.

You feel a sharp slap on you back and you look towards Macca, giving her a death glare.

"I'll stay with Lani tonight"

"Thanks Macca"

After going up to your room, you see Mapi waiting outside. You sneak up on her again and she give you a hard glare. The door unlocks and Mapi walks in, dropping her bag at the foot of the messy bed. Since you showered at the stadium, you get straight in bed signalling mapi to join you. You quickly change Mapi's flights and she's now on the same flight back sitting next to you. You cuddle up to the Spaniard and try not to fall asleep.

"Bebé?" Mapi whispers.

"Hmm?"

"I want to post us" You open your eyes and look confused and the heavily tatted woman.

"You want to announce us on Instagram?" You confirm and Mapi nods. You show Mapi the photo that one of the staff had taken and sent to you. Mapi agrees and you post it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

liked by stephcatley, samanthakerr20, caitlinfoord, mackenziearnold, marialeonn16 and 56,843 others

ynyln: goals and surprises… best day in the office 🤩🥺

view all 8,901 comments…

marialeonn16: te amo princesa x

Ynyln: my baby ❤️

samanthakerr20: it’s about damn time

Ynyln: stfu

Mackenziearnold: no more secret keeping… yay! Happy for you xx

Ynyln: love you xx

caitlinfoord: so you both can visit now?

Ynyln: we will, promise!

2022

Liked by alexiaputellas, marialeonn16, alannakennedy, mackenziearnold and 104,723 others…

Ynyln: six years later… can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together… te amo mi amor ❤️

[sweet-as-an-angel]

ok wait what would Dominic think if the reader could speak another language he wasn’t familiar with in the slightest and he hears them on the phone talking to someone in said language? Especially if they’re giggling at whoever’s on the opposite end…🫣

OOOOOOH, that will NOT end well for everybody involved.

Dominic's an intelligent man; too smart for his own good, if you ask me. But his knowledge extends primarily to the art of manipulation, the odd historic period here and there, how to cook certain recipes, and, of course, French and English.

So, when he hears you sounding a little too pleased while talking in another tongue he doesn't know, a few things are running through his mind: who are you talking to ? What are they saying to you ? Why doesn't he understand what you're saying ?

Honestly, he's the kind of guy to take his own shortfalls personally; hearing you talk in a language unfamiliar to him cements the idea in his mind that he isn't god's gift to the world - that there are still things outside of his control.

This, he cannot allow. That gaping hole in his chest, the one that deflates his ego the longer it's left unattended, has got to go.

First, he tries complementing you, telling you "How beautiful those words sound rolling off your tongue, mon Cher," before trying to get you to say what the language is. He'll never ask you for it. He can't be seen as lesser than because he can't pick up on the phonetics of a language unknown to him.

The minute you're out of sight, he's pulling out all the stops: buying premium subscriptions to the top language learning apps, signing up to courses taught by the world's leading polyglots, making "friends" with people he discovers are native speakers of your coveted dialect, emptying bookstores located three hours out of town of any and all literature written in that language.

Nobody can know of his pursuit of this forbidden knowledge.

And, of course, he'll discover who it was you were laughing with. Find out where they live, work - even offer them a job at his company (if their qualifications align with those of the average employee beneath his iron grip) to make sure he can control their schedule and ensure no time for phone calls of any kind. Especially with you.

Masterlist Yandere AI Masterlist Masterpost

AO3 Wattpad Tumblr Backup Account

[octuscle]

Hey Cronivac Support,

I dont trust myself with the settings so i am asking you. I am Half German and half Moroccan, and I look German af. Brown hair, brown eyes, big smile and a really white skin. I am thinking what would happen if my appearance were based on my Moroccan genes.

Can you help me out?

Brother, chill out! Have a shisha. Just ignore that there's German shit in your body. Your dick is circumcised. You pray at least once or twice a day. Friday you also go to the mosque… It doesn't matter if there are still German genes in you.

Thursday morning. You will survive the last school year at the Gymnasium. What comes after that, you don't know yet. Something with languages might make sense. Your mother tongues are Arabic, German and French. And you are actually quite good in English and Spanish at school. But you also enjoy science. First lesson today is chemistry. Stoichiometry. Actually very interesting. But somehow you have more and more problems to understand your teacher. When he approaches you, you start to stammer. You can't think of the right words. "Youssef, you are welcome to answer in English, if that is easier for you." You sigh in relief. German is really a difficult language. And even though you have a German grandmother, German was never spoken much at home….

During the break, you hang out with your brothers. Talk about soccer, cars, the usual stuff. Smoke an e-cigarette to go with it. And you make an appointment for the afternoon at the gym. Then it's off to the workshop at the vocational school. Metalwork. Hey, you're not training to be a car mechanic so you can mill toys out of metal plates. You want to become a car tuner. And create really hot cars. Your vocational school teacher is from Syria. Fled a few years ago. He speaks much better German than you do. You've only been in Europe for two years. Your mother had the French and the Moroccan passport, so you could immigrate relatively easily. But you didn't understand why you had to move to Germany. Some of your pals now live in Marseille. You would have found that cool, too… But Stuttgart? Just because your father found a good job as an engineer here at Mercedes? Anyway, you're a fighter, you'll survive Swabia.

Lunch is at the snack bar of a former colleague of your father. He has saved up enough money on the assembly line for his own snack bar. And now he makes the best falaffels in town. On weekends, you help out a little. You can always use the extra money. And that way you also get the food cheaper. Since you've been in training, you no longer get pocket money from your parents. You are the eldest son, you now have to do your share to feed the family. And if you are the first to have a vocational qualification here, your chances of getting a permanent right to stay are also the best. If only it weren't for this terrible language…

Gym, auto repair shop, vocational school, Gym…. Your daily routine is somehow always the same. Your boss is also a Muslim, from Turkey, so you have tomorrow afternoon off to go to the mosque. But you also have to work on Saturday. But you are grateful that you have the job. And you can afford your car and the gym. It was not easy to come to Europe. It cost your parents almost all their savings. And now it's your damn duty to succeed and support your family. For that you learn to be a car mechanic, for that you sell falaffel on weekends. That's why you mop the gym floors and clean the toilets at night. You even study German for that. However, this has already brought you a few thousand followers. Your picture from the last workout has 800 likes after just half an hour. Let's see, maybe new opportunities to become rich and famous will develop. You have the right gene pool!

Pic of your latest workout found @tufas

[meichenxi]

career. change. help

so I am making a career change because teaching is going to make me burn out and I NEED YOUR HELP to brainstorm, fellow neurodivergents and degenerates!!!!! do you have any personal experience? any careers or jobs that work for you? (doesn't need to be a 'career' that your parents would be proud of; postie works fine!)

if you don't have any ideas, could you pass it around?

what we're working with / difficulties:

I am adhd and hyperactive. I like moving around a lot and struggle to sit still all day

I am also most likely autistic. I get HUGE masking/social hangovers that mean that when I teach for 2 hours, I need to spend another 2 hours directly afterwards in the dark with noise cancelling headphones. teaching in a school left me essentially unable to cook, clean or socialise for a year. even now teaching 1-1 means that I spend 100% of the time teaching recovering afterwards at least - so an hour recovering for an hour's teaching. this inevitably leads to burnout.

I have a lot of sensory difficulties and get easily overstimulated e.g. bright lights, sounds etc. I wear blue light cancelling glasses and use loops and/or noise cancelling headphones where applicable but yeahhhh. still doesn’t really do it

I have a problem with my ulnar nerve which means that typing for extended periods of time (even standing up, even with accommodations) is difficult. This is a cumulative thing, so it means that if I don’t type very much for one day, it’ll be easier the next day, but I still can only type for about 3 hours maximum. After a while (say 3-4 days of typing a reasonable amount), everything begins to hurt and eventually my hands seize up and I can’t use them :))) I can’t really use assistive technology enough as a stop-gap, because scrolling, clicking, holding a phone, cooking, washing up etc – all things where my elbows are a right angle all cause this problem

strengths:

I have a lot of experience teaching and tutoring. Don’t really want to continue this, but this is what my main experience so far is in – I’ve taught in China, Japan, Korea, Thailand, and the UK

I have experience managing teams of teachers and training, running interviews, writing curriculums etc. basically anything teacher-related I am fairly experienced at

I can speak (obviously) english, decent mandarin chinese, decent german, and could get good at french or spanish or dutch if you gave me like. six months to reactivate it

a good degree from a good university in the uk, linguistics, first class

I have a yoga teaching qualification

physically fit and able-bodied and active – I can run, walk, climb, pull things, do whatever

the issue I’m facing is that most ‘autism friendly’ careers I am looking at all involve extensive periods of typing, which I am not really able to do. and most ‘normal’ careers all involve extensive periods of socialising, which I am not really able to do. It’s a pretty shit situation. I am very good and enjoy performance-type things like teaching drama, yoga, tour guiding and stuff – all things my adhd brain loves – but I can only do them for a very short period of time before my autistic brain needs alone time in the dark.

So anyway. What sort of things do you guys do? What works for you? Any tips or help or directions would be greatly appreciated. Unfortunately it’s not a ‘how to solve the world career’, but ‘how to have a life’ type career – I am not adverse to working as a cleaner or a traffic warden or whatever. As long as I can write my book alongside (which I can’t do with ‘typing’ heavy jobs), I’ll be happy. at the moment I'm mainly just sad and frustrated at how little life i can lead even working 15 hours a week (which is all I work, and all, with this current job, that I can work)

maybe I’ll just make a youtube channel. imagine

[the-converse-high-top]

Another Käärijä Research Project

aka: käärijä style-shifting project

as a preface, here are my (non) qualifications for this project and the circumstances under which it happened:

I am a linguistics student, and this past semester I took a course on sociolinguistics. the goal of this project was to become familiar with the concept of and analyze style-shifting (it's more commonly known as code-switching online but theres a difference and this is style-shifting), specifically by analyzing the speech of one person. We had the option to study oprah or to have someone else approved by my prof, so you know I had to ask my prof if I could study jere. This project is solely my intellectual property; even though I had a tutor help me a lot, everything written in this paper and on this post was my work alone.

now, on to the actual findings! the full paper and transcripts will be linked at the end :D

the actual variables (words or sounds) that I studied were the pronunciation of r, and use of the word "the".

to make things a lot easier from the get-go, i'm going to introduce you all to one of my favorite websites, ipachart.com (the international phonetic alphabet [ipa] chart is a big chart with an entry for every sound that exists in a language. this handy dandy website has an audio recording for each one of those sounds).

go to this website, and then scroll down to the table. go to the column labeled "post alveolar" and then click on ɾ and ɹ. those are the sounds i studied in this paper! ɾ is the finnish r and ɹ is the american r :)

so basically what i did to find instances of my variable was i just looked up a bunch of esc interviews and listened out for use of the different r sounds. i also transcribed the entire dinner date live because i love torture apparently :) the specific interviews and lives/stories are in the bibliography of the paper :p

after i transcribed all the interviews and lives/stories i went through and highlighted every instance of the r sound. then i calculated the ratios of ɾ to ɹ based on the context they were spoken in. the two contexts i looked for were formal contexts (sit-down interviews) and informal contexts (literally anything else).

i found that jere uses ɹ WAY more often in formal contexts than he does in informal contexts, and the same in reverse with ɾ.

i then went back to the transcripts and looked for all instances of the word "the". i also looked for instances where i thought it should be present, but was omitted. i calculated the ratio of present vs omitted "the"s in formal vs informal contexts and made some charts.

the graph with the smaller black section is "use of 'the' in formal settings" and the one with the smaller green section is "use of 'the' in informal settings" (the images are transparent, sorry)

i found that jere uses "the" WAY more often when in formal settings! there were also some instances where he added a "the" where it was unnecessary, which is studied at length in this wonderful paper by @alien-girl-21

something i also noticed that i elected not to study because this paper took enough energy on its own was that in formal contexts, whenever the "or" sound came in the middle or at the end of a word, jere wouldn't pronounce the r. it stuck out to me mostly because i heard words like "performance" turning into "perfomance", which i thought was an interesting quirk.

unfortunately i was somewhat limited by both my brainpower and capacity to do more work on this paper in the relatively short timeframe i was given (2 weeks) and the fact that i was given a 5 page MAX for this paper (not including a bibliography). i had a lot of fun doing this though and am definitely planning on studying jere for for academic credit again in the future if given the chance!

also i would like it to be known that i spent an hour searching for that 5 second clip of the urheilucast where jere said that he used to sell kitchens and understands english better than he can speak it.

link to a google drive folder with the actual paper i wrote and the transcripts of the interviews with notation:

please feel free to send me asks and dms with questions or comments about this paper! i absolutely love rambling about linguistics :3!!

[tumbling-rocks-no-danger]

I’ve noticed a tendency among Jalim writers to treat Salim as having already surpassed all expectations of character development, and as a result, he reads VERY flat.

He already isn’t the best written character, and I’ve yet to read a fic that seeks to rectify this.

The other protags have their roles in the story alongside individual emotional arcs. Jason, Eric, Nick, Rachel all have their own motivations, challenges, prejudices, resentments, regrets, hopes. But Salim? All he has is a bitchin’ personality and badassery to end all badassery. His feelings never change or develop. His worldview is never challenged.

That isn’t to say he’s unlikeable, not in the slightest, in fact he is one of my fave characters in supermassive’s history. I simply say this to point out that the fandom takes what they’re given with Salim and…go nowhere with it.

Yes, Salim is already perfect.

Yes, he is the perfect partner.

Yes, he has the right opinions.

No, he doesn’t have ANY flaws.

Is it against the law to write him as a complex person???

What is it we know about him?

He’s not very political.

He’s a single father whose wife left him and Zain many years before canon, and is therefore very protective and devoted to his family.

He speaks at least two languages.

Easy to get along with.

He’s resourceful.

He’s religious.

That is just a few things off the top of my head, but so much can be done with this.

Iraq has a VERY long and complicated history with the west, and has suffered and continues to suffer because of it. Basically any anti-western sentiment in Iraq is met with harsh crackdowns by the west: direct invasion and occupation, regime change, assassination plots, etc. It’s only understandable that many Iraqis would become disillusioned with politics and, as a result, merely focus on keeping their families and communities safe. Maybe this is what happened with Salim. Maybe he was more politically engaged when he was younger, but has since pulled back. Maybe even, on some level, he has fallen for western propaganda and views the American invasion of Iraq as understandable even if he still believes it is ridiculous and unjustifiable.

Why did Salim’s wife leave him? Was there infidelity on either of their parts? Was he a bad husband? Was he a good husband, but his wife simply didn’t love him? Did she want to leave the country while Salim wanted to stay? Was it amicable? How does Salim feel about his ex-wife? How does Zain feel about the divorce? Does he blame his father? What is the dynamic between Salim and Zain in the day to day? How often do they argue? Do they even argue? What are their traditions?

English is an incredibly difficult language to learn, particularly as a second language. Did he learn it at university? Did he go to university? What might he have studied? Does he speak other languages? Does he want to? Does he speak english with Zain?

Who are his friends? How often do they hang out? What do they do when they hang out?

What kind of family was he born into? Were they progressive or more conservative? Does he speak to them? Are they alive? Was he born into wealth? Or poverty? Or somewhere in between? What is his profession outside of the military? Does he like his job? What are his qualifications?

What sect of Islam does Salim follow? How strongly does he identify with it? What holidays does he celebrate? Did he raise Zain to believe the same things as him? Or did he raise him to decide for himself? Does Salim have any sort of religious or spiritual trauma? How does it affect his belief system? Is he ashamed of his attraction to men? Does he even know he’s attracted to men? How does he navigate these discussions with Zain?

These are all very interesting ideas, I think.

[useless-catalanfacts]

A new rule to increment discrimination

Context:

Public healthcare is one of the places where the most Catalanophobic interactions are reported. In 4 years, more than 100 Catalan speakers have reported that they have been denied healthcare or otherwise discriminated against for speaking Catalan, or were unable to access any healthcare in Catalan in a Catalan-speaking territory.

From disabled people who only speak Catalan being refused any medical attention unless they speak Spanish (which they don't know how to speak), to a man calling the ambulance but the healthcare worker who answers the phone spends the time scolding the caller for not speaking Spanish instead of calling for the urgently-needed ambulance, to many, many, many, many, many, many doctors telling patients "either you speak in Spanish or you leave", and many others given choices that link their language to shame: "would you rather speak Catalan or your son get cured?", "do you want to speak Catalan or do you want a vaccine appointment?", or being told "[derrogatory/infantilizing word for "woman"], you're making me waste time" for seeking medical attention as a Catalan-speaker.

Lack of access to healthcare is a systemic problem for Catalan people, who are often forced to use Spanish if we want medical treatment in our own country.

People should have the right to access public services (that they pay for with their own tax money) in the language of the country. Can you imagine an English speaker in England not being able to see any doctor or nurse who can attend them in English? Or in French in France, or German in Germany? It doesn't happen because speakers of the dominant language have the State on their side, but Catalan speakers have the Spanish (and French, in the case of Northern Catalonia) Government actively working against us.

And, more than anywhere else, in a moment of great vulnerability like the medical setting, it's very important that patients can speak their own language and not have to worry about translating concepts, they need to have the confidence to speak clearly on what happens to them and be focused on the issue, not on word choice or accent of this second language. Even less be worried about possibly facing discrimination for it.

The new rule:

The new Government of the Valencian Country (a coalition of the right-wing party PP and the fascist party Vox, both Spanish supremacist parties who make the hatred against Catalan/Valencian one of their main campaign points) has announced yet another way to increment that discrimination.

Until now, to decide who to hire for public jobs, there was a system of points, where each kind of certificate and qualification gave you some points. Speaking the local language (Valencian/Catalan) was already not a requisite —legally creating the situation where doctors and nurses can not know any of the language spoken in the place where they work. But, until now, speaking the local language at least gave some extra points.

Now, this new Spanish supremacist regional government has decided that knowing Valencian in the Valencian Country to work in a job with public interaction is worth less than speaking any language of an independent EU state. This means that you get more points for speaking, for example, Latvian, Swedish, Maltese, Slovak or Lithuanian, than for speaking the language of the place where you will be working and where you will be talking to people.

My full respect for speakers of all these languages, but (as an example) a hypothetical Estonian speaker who you might never even encounter in a Valencian town should not be worth more than the very real Valencian speakers that you will surely encounter working in the Valencian Country.

This rule is another step to legally protect systemic discrimination and to make it continue in the future.

Note: Valencian and Catalan are two names for the same language. They're being used interchangeably.

[definatelymrhyde]

TGS Page spoilers September 23 2024!!!!

Alright it’s time to analyze this. Robert Lanyon you are so Landone because I am picking apart your little speech right here right now

This is LOOOOONG so there WILL be a TLDR at the end!!

“Nothing but a line from a stupid play.”

“What?”

“What does all this rogue science business get you, in the end? Sure you get the odd novelty - - an invisible cat, a hot air balloon or two. But in return it tears your life apart.” - This is Lanyon mainly speaking on how he sees everything and what he’s observed yet again. All he’s heard about rogue science was confirmed to be true, Henry’s promise of telling him if he ever went to far is broken. He’s not going to trust anything ANY rogue scientist says at ALL this time. He’s not even gonna give them a chance. His point of view and opinion had suddenly (probably) solidified and likely won’t be changed, easily at least.

“The signs were there, looking back. It was so obvious that Henry was slipping away.”

Lanyon CALLS HIM OUT. Like. Dude. Buddy. It WAS obvious, but only to someone who could have KNOWN what was happening.

“And I helped him.”

Lanyon believes he helped make this all happen. And that by proxy, Henry’s condition is HIS fault, at least partially. As much as he seems weirdly calmly angry, he’s masking it in order to seem like he’s not sad.

“I brought people from all over London to see this place, to sell them this beautiful lie.”

Again he blames himself, and shifts some of it onto the lodgers.

“It would have been better if you’d destroyed this place. If you had, I might have been able to rescue Henry from himself.”

Lanyon stating he belives the society should have been destroyed. Gone. That it was an utter mistake involving himself (and Henry, even if it was Henry’s own choice, and HE chose before Lanyon did) In this whole thing.

“But now he’s possessed by a demon, or whatever the hell Hyde is.”

Actually? Good point, Lanyon! We don’t know for SURE what TGS Hyde is. Sure we have a general idea, but we’ve never been told in specifics and had it verbally confirmed.

TLDR;

Lanyon masks his blame and sadness with a facade of just playing up the pre-existing anger. He doesn’t think Henry could have done this on his own and that the society and the support it got from Lanyon and a little bit the lodgers was what pushed Henry to do this to himself. He states what we’re questioning, ‘what is Edward Hyde, really?’ Because we’ve never got a confirmed awnser from anyone in story, have we now?

AND FINALLY; A THEORY.

I think that he’s going to up and walk away. Any previous statements I’ve made in like,, Lodger Lounge or other servers ABOUT Lanyon dying? IGNORE THOSE I DONT THINK THAT ANY MORE. I think we’re gonna get some in depth emotions for Lanyon, which is unusual because like,, it’s Lanyon he is NOT getting caught openly expressing that shit. I think we’re gonna get a much deeper understanding of Robert ‘not my problem is my middle fucking name’ Lanyon!! That’s my prediction.

Anyways, making analysis of these guys my new job if anybody wants a character analysis (at least from my pov having a 100% in my English class as of now. Yes. That’s literally my ONLY qualification besides being the author of a fic that puts TGS Jekyll’s struggles into perspective.) just hand em over I don’t care. So long as it’s TGS? I’ll analyze it just give me a segment I don’t care, fanfic that’s deep and analyzesble? I’ll do it? A specific page or collection/progression of dialogue? I’ll do it. HAND IT OVER.

[hornyhermitry]

Professional translations & public witch hunts

For starters: If you think "TL;DR, who cares, I ain't reading all that" and are incapable of processing words for a prolonged amount of time beyond 240 character clickbait, you are not entitled to an opinion on translation to begin with.

I will take sufficient time for this one.

General:

In recent weeks I've repeatedly had the misfortune of coming across public harassment and incited hate mobs towards Jujutsu Kaisen's manga translator.

There's hordes of anti-social harassers pushing for someone to get fired from a professional job - in which he works because he is equipped with the necessary qualifications - purely due to disliking occasional translation choices in a comic.

This behavior has reached levels of exaggeration and reality disconnect, it'd be funny if it wasn't so sad due to a real person's livelihood being attacked.

This is not normal and tolerable behavior. It is equal to drumming up a hate mob in front of a café and threatening some employee inside, throwing rocks at the window and demanding for a barista to get fired because you didn't like the coffee beans they chose, or sure, maybe because they put actual sugar instead of sweetener into your coffee.

This is not a normal and acceptable way to behave.

If you think it is, there is something deeply wrong with your perception of society and what's respectful conduct towards another human being. When you encounter another person, you act respectfully at the very least. Kind, ideally.

Feel free to imagine yourself at work, making a mistake and thousands of people starting to call, email, shitpost online and harass you over it, dragging you publicly, shouting on the parking lot for you to be fired. Please reflect on yourself.

Now:

This dude does comic translations.

He did not authorize biochemical weapons in a war. He did not pass a law to deport all migrants and close the borders. He did not accidentally kill someone during a surgery. He did not hack & rob the annual employee bonus' account.

He wrote a word you don't like in a comic.

Planet Earth to Werry hater: Please come back down to reality and dial it back a few notches. This is a non-issue. Whether he makes mistakes or not, this level of hate and harassment is ENTIRELY out of pocket.

Moving on to translations.

Translations/criticizing translations:

Opinions on translations are like assholes - everyone got one. But that doesn't mean you need to pull them out in public. And especially not that you have to shit into random people's lives with them.

I've been reading manga and playing games in private for 27 years. I speak 4 Western languages and A2.2 Japanese. I've been working in the international entertainment industry with a focus on Asian to Western markets for over a decade, including Chinese, Japanese & Korean.

A lot of my time at work is filled with liaising between East and West, internally as well as externally. In my career, I've spent a lot of years supporting and later on consulting on localization.

I know what it is like to be a fan, and I am fully aware of the work reality behind translation.

I'm also intricately aware of the difficulties one faces when interpreting (!) from a source language as abstract and contextual as Japanese to a spelled out language such as English, French, Spanish, German, etc.

You cannot do a 1:1 translation. The nature of these languages is so different, you have to decide on one of many ways to translate something. And oftentimes, the content is so vague with so few indicators, the only thing you can do is guess and hope for the best - unless you happen to hit a rare jackpot of a person who has a guide with additional info and is able to provide this within the short deadline you are left with.

Even the most basic words already illustrate this difference.

Look at the example of

元気ですか / げんきですか = Genki desu ka

Genki is an adjective, "desu ka" is a question particle similar to "is it".

Genki already has many similar variants in meaning: "lively; full of spirit; energetic; vigorous; vital; spirited"

It is commonly translated as "How are you?" but that is not what it literally means.

Since "Genki desu ka?" is commonly used after the initial greeting when meeting someone, "How are you" is the closest equivalent to it in EN, due to it's function and usual placement within a dialogue.

The literal translation would be "Energetic is it?", or "Lively is it?"

That is obviously is no proper English.

Adjusting for grammar, it could be changed to "Are you lively?" - but the "you" is already a "fictional addition" to the sentence, as the original JP has no adress like this.

And asking someone if they are "lively" is also out of place. So more changes are needed.

Further adjusted for "natural sounding" would be "Are you doing good?" which now has 2 additional made up words, to transfer the question from JP to EN - "you" and "good".

This sentence does not necessarily have to mean "Are you good/How are you?". If I tell you my aunt Emma sends her regards, and you reply "Ah. Genki desu ka?" the translation would be "Oh. How is (Emma) doing?/Is Emma doing good?" JP's grammar works without these precise indicators who is talking about whom and is highly contextual whereas - Western languages need those.

Concluding, depending on who is talking to one another, who was mentioned on a page before, etc. a simple "Genki desu ka?" can be anything from "How are you?" to "Is (Panda) doing good?".

There is no literal 1:1 translation possible. The languages are too different.

The reality of translation is unclear source material open to multiple interpretations, once you settle on an interpretation having another dozen options to decide on for the specific wording, then having to adjust that to character and spacing limitations and doing all that with little turnover time.

On top of that, official translations work with styleguides and glossaries.

There could e.g. be a kind of character bible with notes about all characters and their peculiar ways of talking and what character traits those convey and an instruction to use approach XYZ to convey that.

"Speaks in a very poetic way, very roundabout and meandering" which could e.g. lead to overhauling the literal translation to add "personality" based on that.

Going by "(O) genki desu ka?" suddenly "How are you?"for the "poetic trait" becomes "How has life been treating you?"

Again - at the end overhauled again to make room for character limits and such, so maybe it becomes "How fare you?"

This change could have been added not because this particular line offers the exact context, but it is rooted in a style instruction to work with a certain speech pattern/type for a character - since the JP indicators at another spot might not offer satisfactory EN translations, so you have to add the "personality" elsewhere.

Translations of ongoing works utilize glossaries and you cannot use new terms if there is already a term established and submitted. Else it would be a mess of e.g. Cursed Energy in Chapter 2, Jinxed Force in Chapter 25, Hex Flow in Chapter 112, Curse Power in Chapter 156, Hex Energy in Chapter 287, etc.

Even if some months or years in you think another translation would be better suited, you are obliged to keep consistency with previous mentions and cannot just change these.

This also means if you take over translation work started by someone else, you have to work with their groundwork and established rules and terms and cannot change them.

Official translations commonly aim to make a foreign work accessible to local readers. If there is a bunch of teenage characters going to school, they should be relatable to local teenagers. As a result, regional and current slang might be added to make it sound more natural whereas the JP might just have "informal" indicators but less variance in vocabulary. The goal of a translation is to make a work accessible to a whole new language audience, hence the focus lies on making it readable without a prior 8 year degree in cultural studies. Things get simplified or changed for that reason.

Usually translators for a work consult with each other what the difficulties translating are, what possible options are, and what each language will run with. These considerations take a lot of time.

Having fans work out occurences deviating from the OG and explaining the specifics behind is it AMAZING community content and something for the people passionate about a story and about learning more about a culture. But it's not needed for the average joe buying a comic at a gas station.

This kind of deep dive is fandom! Enjoy and share and get excited! Enrich each others lives and understanding of a story! It's one of the best things there is.

Finally, a translation has to be timely & approved. There are multiple people involved in this.

It is not on poor John alone to make all decisions as he fancies and send it straight to print after going rogue, but he works within the guidelines & constraints this jobs brings with it. It's his name on the page but there are a lot more people involved in the final result.

Publicly claiming things like a translator "brutally butchers" a story or "is incapable of doing a job" because in a sea of solid translations of a very vague source language, every few chapters there's a specific word deep fandom who spends all their free-time on this particular story would have translated differently, is wildly inappropriate.

Interpreting differently is not doing a wrong job.

People on social media love attention and shitstorms. You get one narcissist with a following pointing out a debatable translation in a snarky smartass way and everyone wants a piece of the smartass cake.

What I struggle with is how people who don't speak a second language & often barely speak their own language with literacy above elementary school, feel entitled to an opinion here. What makes you an expert on cross-cultural art interpretation? What makes you think your opinion holds any weight here? Oh you read a Tweet by s/o else? *clap*

What makes you think you have the right to go after another person's job for no reason other than spite and some internet gotcha over a comic?

If you really value the creation of near perfect translations that much, be the change you want to see in the world.

Learn another language. Get that degree. Get that job in animanga and do your best.

Or for a start, send a polite mail about your concerns to VIZ instead of starting a personal witch hunt for some guy doing his job.

[uptoolateart]

Education Systems

I'm updating this because a French fan has now added to the conversation, for accuracy.

I think a lot of people have misunderstood the French education system, after watching Confrontation. I did a bunch of research into this for one of my fics - I have lived in the UK since I was 16 and have children in the British education system - and I originally grew up in the US. With all that in mind...

When you finish the first major stage of education:

France - Age 15

UK - Age 16

US - Age 18

Picking your focus / specialism(s):

France - Age 15, you can pick a stream, focusing on subjects relevant to what you want to do in life.

UK - Age 16, you can pick a stream, focusing on subjects relevant to what you want to do in life - there are also vocational courses, if you’re not remotely academic, and I bet there is something like this in France.

US - You are required to take all general mandatory subjects, even if you suck at them, until age 18, at which point you can finally specialise.

Speaking personally, when I lived in the US I was only given one elective in high school, and for my junior year (age 16) I realised I would have no time to fit that elective into my schedule because of all the science and maths requirements...subjects I was all but failing, because I knew I was artistic / literary-minded from a very young age. I was forced to suffer falling self-esteem, feeling like I was stupid and not good enough, simply because I didn’t have the ‘right’ brain type to fit with what the school wanted. There were other schools in the area that had slightly different requirements, but they all did some form of the same thing.

If you don’t know what you want to focus on yet:

France - There are generalist academic options where you do the usual variety of subjects, with the proviso that you get to choose if it’s more heavily weighted towards maths / science or towards liberal arts (see my personal anecdote above).

UK - Does something similar to France.

US - I was seriously considering dropping out of high school as soon as legally able (age 16) because I couldn’t cope with the pressures of the school system and my shattered confidence, despite previously being a straight-A student. However, if you drop out, you bear that stigma for life, no matter how much else you do - even though there are countries like France and the UK that legally release you from that education system at the same age or even younger. I’ve seen this happen to a lot of extremely intelligent American friends.

At university:

UK - You ONLY do classes directly related to your degree.

France - I'm told it's the same but that you don't get to choose unrelated electives for fun (you can do that in the UK - not lots, but a few over the years).

US - You are forced to take a lot of mandated subjects that have nothing to do with your course, e.g. local government or trigonometry even though you’re doing a writing degree, and you pay an absolute fortune for these / the required textbooks. (The most I ever spent on a book for my UK English degree course was £15, whereas textbooks in the US cost in the hundreds.)

What if you change your mind?

UK - Most jobs don’t care what degree you did, just that you did a degree. If you decide to do something that does need special qualifications, you can always go back and undertake them, at any age...with the proviso that you need to find the time and money.

France - I have been told it can be difficult, although in ways similar to the UK (and probably the US), where it depends on the job. Some jobs will always require retraining. It's always easier to do that training when you're younger and have fewer obligations

US - I can’t specifically comment, as I emigrated, but see above. Also, I have American friends who have gone through a LOT of hoops to try to change career paths in later life. This is probably an area where all countries could improve.

In conclusion:

The French (and UK) system is not necessarily forcing teenagers to lock into a fixed career path with no looking back, at the age of 15. Nothing is perfect, but in many ways, I think the French system actually offers options for greater flexibility by allowing greater choice at a younger age, instead of being forced to take all these other classes they may never use again in life, possibly at the detriment of their mental health.

Don’t get me wrong - there are a lot of things I prefer about the US vs the UK system in the lead up to high school (I can’t comment on the French system during those years, as I have no experience). But I’m a big believer that we need to allow kids greater choice at a younger age, with the option to stay in generalist education if that’s really what they want.

[mrhaitch]

hi mr.haitch!

as someone who's interested in academia, do you think you can speak a bit about your experiences and journey? it's something i've had my eye on for a bit but honestly don't even know where to begin and idk if i'm just having a mini life crisis because i'm feeling unfulfilled in my current field.

I think I've spoken about this before, but I'll do it again. Please note that I am currently not in academia at present, although I do have plans to return. Currently I'm teaching functional skills in English and maths to kids in their late teens (many of them with severe emotional, behavioural, or learning disorders) so this will be more of a retrospective.

(Be warned, it's long)

Let's get one thing very clear: I was a bad student and my road into academia is and remains crooked. I had bad grades in highschool, an appalling attendance record, and spent a great deal of highschool in detention. It is a miracle that I finished highschool, and a further miracle that I was accepted by a college, and fluked through my A-levels.

I never paid attention in class unless it was something I cared about. Homework was a mythical concept, I never participated, rarely engaged, and generally treated school with disdain.

And I didn't get better until I was in my twenties.

Some of it was anxiety, a lot of it was arrogance.

So fast forward through my undergrad years where I oscillated wildly between workaholic frenzy (political philosophy, existentialism, philosophy of religion) to staunch absenteeism (philosophy of language, socratic philosophy). In my final year things kind of clicked, I knuckled down, got into a few fights with my lecturers, forced my grades up, and came out with a good enough grade to get onto a masters course.

This was largely in thanks to my writing, which I'd become increasingly dedicated to, completing and submitting my first (and thankfully unpublished novel) in the process. During my master's I revelled in the greater degree of independence, how I could direct and engage with the material in my own way, and how it connected with my passions (creative writing). I still had an arrogant moment, failed to prepare for an assignment and failed it. The failure capped my overall grade at a pass which sank any hope for a scholarship.

Dejected and pissed off, I then took the first job that came my way and gave up on academia. I languished in the service industry for four years and thought I'd amount to nothing more. Some political nonsense happened towards the end, I pushed back against the wrong people who promptly tried to fire me under false (and illegal) pretenses.

Haitch pushed me to look into doing my PHD again. I applied, teaching out to one of my old MA teachers to be my supervisor and he accepted with far more enthusiasm than I could've hoped for. I got a loan from the government and vowed to throw myself at my PHD as hard as I could, and I did.

From 2019 until early 2023, I worked five days a week (plus some time in the weekends) on my thesis and my writing. 8-5 every day with my nose in a book, or plugging away at a manuscript, or drafting papers. I lived and breathed it every second. I kept a journal where I pushed myself to work harder and harder to achieve what I felt was my dream. During that time I was determined to come out with my experience and qualifications than I could possibly need for an entry position. I shadowed my colleagues when they taught classes, exchanged emails with academics I admired, published more short fiction.

Brick by brick I built a portfolio and a modest reputation. Then I was invited to speak at a prestigious convention in the UK. I met legendary literary agents, famous authors, hung out with people I admired, and had a chance to read some of my work to an audience and discuss its themes.

I taught for two years, while at the same time working two other contracts for various outreach bodies teaching and supporting kids from deprived or disadvantaged backgrounds.

And I still can't get a permanent position.

I've been shortlisted once or twice, and knocked back at the first hurdle a whole bunch.

Academic positions are like gold dust scattered down the back of a unicorn as it leaps over a double rainbow. It is hard to get a job teaching and researching at a university, especially in the humanities. It is endless rejection with minimal feedback, banging your head against a brick wall over and over wondering if you felt it move or if you've just softened your skull.

It's hard, very hard, and takes a lot of commitment and a lot of sacrifice, with zero guarantee you'll get anyway.

But you do it because you can't imagine yourself doing anything else.

The eagle eyed amongst you will recognise this as the same conclusion I reached about writing, and they're right. It's the same. Often thankless, frequently difficult. A feeling of toiling alone in the dark, waiting for someone, anyone to peer into the well you fell down.

But as hard as it is, if that's the path you've chosen, a part of you doesn't care. You do it anyway. You do it in spite of what it costs you, and the little it gives back.

At least, that's how I see it. Thank you for attending my rambling, somewhat doom-laden, TED talk.

[fel0ny-01]

(I know it’s November but I’m so excited for Christmas and I just had this pop into my head.)

So canonically soap dies towards the end of November, which means that he doesn’t get to spend Christmas with the 141 which is devastating. (It hurts me so much) but I keep putting it into the perspective of last Christmas by Wham.

Simon gave his heart to Johnny way before all this happened, and Johnny treasured it, cared for it and made sure it was safe always. It made Simon feel safe and loved.

But when Johnny ‘dies’, so his heart is unprotected and fragile, and it’s up to Simon to make sure it’s safe because he can’t trust it with anyone else anymore. (He blames himself for Johnny’s death 100%)

I’m going to use my English literature qualification to look into the lyrics of the song for a second.

“I keep my distance but you still catch my eye” This line, basically sums up what I think is the entire relationship of Johnny and Simon just before they got together. Simon doesn’t want his heart to get hurt and Johnny wants to get closer, but he’s not gonna pry because obviously Simon’s got his own issues. Eventually, he’s waiting for Simon to come to him which he does.

Fast forward to November 2023, where the whole Makarov situation is happening, and Johnny dies, (supposedly). So Simon is so torn up about this, and he feels like he has to put on that stonecold demeanour because Johnny was basically the key to his heart. And that key is gone, his Johnny is gone.

(So of course the “but the very next day you gave it away” doesn’t entirely apply to the situation, but it does make Simon feel like his heart has been broken once again by someone he loves leaving him.)

“This year to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special” and that ‘special’ (he wouldn’t think so) person is himself, the Ghost, not Simon, because he can’t trust anyone else to look after his heart like Johnny did.

Christmas is a lonely time that year.

Fast forward to like 2024, when they’re trying to take down Makarov and they are being joined by this mystery man that Kate has somehow gotten in contact with, and Simon’s hackles are standing on end. He doesn’t know this man, he struggles to trust after everything that’s happened, but some horrible familiar feeling fills his body as he watches the man step out of Nik’s Helicopter.

“Tell me baby do you recognise me? Well it’s been a year, it doesn’t surprise me.”

And that’s Johnny, who is in fact alive, speaking to Simon looking completely different, one eye gone, a eyepatch to cover lack thereof, the awful scar on either side of his head, but the same stupid Mohawk that Simon thought he’d never see again.

Bonus Scene:

Simon going to the Scottish Highlands that Christmas, directly referencing the line:

“Happy Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it, With a note saying "I love you", I meant it”

He leaves a note where they spread his ashes, and he leaves a present, and he might even open it himself, and like explain to Johnny why he got it for him. And the present is like one of those build it yourself ornament bomb, or something like that, something that Johnny would laugh out; but you know that he’d spend hours on in his room just so that he could make Simon smile.

Extra Bonus Scene:

That Christmas of 2024 the 141 is back together again and everyone’s either passed out drunk or they’ve gone to bed, Simon and Johnny are the only ones up and there’s like an extra little gift there addressed to Johnny. Simon picks it out, Johnny’s giving him this confused look because he swore it wasn’t there before.

“Wha’s tha’, Simon?”

And he just opens the box and it’s a ring.

“I didn’t get to ask before.”

Cue a lot of tears and a lot of ‘yes’s.