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dreamdaddydutch · 1 year

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Kissing you

Howdy all! I wanted to write something very cheesy and festive, so here’s a little fic about confessing feelings to Javier and ending up kissing under the mistletoe (after a practise kiss in private). It’s fluffy, it’s short...it hopefully captures some of the magic of the holiday season.

Pairing: Javier x gn! reader Word Count: 2,460. Warnings: Descriptions of smoking and a brief reference to sex, mostly just kissing and pure fluff.

It was five days until Christmas eve and you were sat quietly by the camp fire listening to the stories other told. You rubbed your hands together to try and generate some warmth, there was frost on the ground and you were sure snow would arrive soon. In truth you longed for someone to cosy up to at night, to share warmth…more than warmth with. As you glanced across the other side of the fire you stared somewhat dreamily of the person you dreamt of.

A moment later the spell was broken by Charles who came up to you, “Hey I need your help with something.”

Reluctantly you got up, a final glance at Javier hoping he’d meet your gaze and finding disappointment when he didn’t. You sighed so loudly that Javier heard but when he looked up at you you were already making your way over to Charles, leaving him to continue polishing his gun.

“What’s up,” you asked as you leant against the tree Charles was stood beside.

“Just needed some help lifting these,” Charles pointed at the sacks on the floor.

You furrowed your brows, confused you were honest with him, “Okay…these sacks that you can easily carry two if not three at a time of. You need me to help you lift just one?”

Charles smiled innocently, “Sure, I’m not feeling myself today so could do with the help.”

You shrugged, Charles was never ill or not feeling himself and if he was, he was very good at hiding it.

As you bent down you became aware of how many buttons you’d undone on your shirt. It hadn’t been intentional, rather you’d been sat opposite Javier, aware of just how close he was and where his eye line would be and then you’d been playing with the buttons lost in a daydream, a trance…thinking about being somewhere else with him. And then oops, it was too low. You looked up to see Charles just staring. You felt your cheeks flush hot red as you stood up, dropping the sack back to the floor and quickly did the buttons back up.

When you reached down to help him with the sack again you spoke, “Not a word.”

Charles chuckled and the two of you started to walk in the opposite direction of where the sacks were usually taken, “Charles what are we doing?”

“Just over here, need a second reserve.”

“A second reserve,” you repeated almost inaudibly.

When you put the sack down you were away from the camp and as far as you could see there was no one in ear shot, “So you going to tell me who those undone buttons were for?” He asked.

You knew it, Charles didn’t need any help at all he just wanted to get you away from others for a gossip in a way that was completely out of character for him. The two of you had been close since you’d joined the gang, forming a very close friendship with one another. Charles was one of the very few people you could be honest with and yet this felt too difficult.

“No one,” you lied.

“Right,” Charles paused, “I don’t believe you.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I care about you.”

You sighed, “It doesn’t matter he doesn’t like me back anyway; he never looks at me like how I look at him.”

Charles placed a hand on your shoulder, “Thing is, you look at him a certain way when he isn’t looking at you. So how does he know you’re looking at him? How do you know he isn’t giving you the love eyes when you’re not looking?”

“The love eyes,” you laughed. “Wait, do you know who I’m talking about.”

Charles let go of your chin, “You’re sweet on Mr Escuella, right?”

You face fell, “Oh…is it that obvious.”

“I wish I could lie, but yes. I know, Arthur knows, Mary-Beth knows…pretty sure a few of the others have an inkling too. So please, don’t let Javier be the last to know.”

You looked at the floor, inhaled sharply and then looked back at Charles, “So when do I tell him?” Before Charles had a chance to answer you added, “How do I tell him?”

“Under the mistletoe?”

You pouted, arms crossed across your chest, “Charles I’m serious, this isn’t one of Mary-Beth’s romance novels.”

Just then you saw Charles grin as he looked over your shoulder, “Well how about now then,” he said quietly so only you could hear.

He nodded, “Javier.”

You spun round to see Javier walking up behind you, Charles leaving you in the lurch.

“Hey, how’s it going?” He asked.

You gulped as you watched Charles walk away, he turned to look back round at you and winked. You felt heat flush up your neck and into your cheeks. Javier’s face came back into focus as he leant across back into your line of vision, “Ay you there?”

You shook your head, “Yeah, I’m here. Sorry Javier, I’ve got to go…” You started to walk away only to find Javier run after you. Why were you walking away?

“Did I say something?” Javier asked, sounding confused.

You shook your head as you continued to walk, no idea of where you were going.

“No sorry, it’s just it’s really hot isn’t it?” You said, realising just how ridiculous this sounded considering how cold it was.

“Will you stop for a moment,” Javier pleaded.

You couldn’t ignore him, so against your better judgement you stopped, slipping slightly on some ice underfoot. Javier reached for you, stopping you from falling but once you’d regained balance he let go. You turned to face him, wondering what to say or whether he’d save you the embarrassment and speak first.

“You’ve been acting different recently, like you’re trying to avoid me, are you?”

“No Javier, I’m not…I wouldn’t.” Javier pulled his cigarette case from his jeans, “Okay, good, I’d rather know if I’d done something you know?”

He offered you a smoke which you took gladly. Taking one for himself he continued, “So you goin’ to tell me what’s happening?”

He lit his smoke and you watched transfixed as he lifted it to his lips, those lips you longed to kiss, longed to taste. You watched as he inhaled, closing his eyes for a second of ecstasy, the glow at the end of the cigarette intensifying and making you feel warm inside.

His question still hung in the air and you were about to answer when he opened his eyes and motioned for you to light your smoke on his. As you leant forward and pushed the end against his you inhaled sharply staring into his eyes. Even when yours was lit you lingered just a little longer, you could smell him, the smell of gun oil and smoke, of his cologne woody, heavy and warm. After both inhaling and staring for a little too long, Javier followed up on his previous question.

“Perhaps if you can’t tell me what’s happening, you could enlighten me and let me know why you were so intrigued in me polishing my gun this earlier, what caused your eyes to linger for so long?” You coughed and watched the way a small but wicked smile appeared on his face.

Fuck. It was rare the slightly cocky side of Javier came out, he had a charm about him that meant you could never be mad, he wore it well.

You felt saliva gather in your mouth, though you felt as if you were growing numb…it was hard to speak. Words you might choke on if you tried to set the truth free.

So you did the only thing you could think of, after dropping the cigarette to the ground and extinguishing it in the ice you raised your hands to your face, covering your eyes to shield the shame and let out a single word, “Fuck.”

Javier didn’t move, he watched as you crouched down onto the floor, head in hands and hoping the ground would swallow you up. Then he knelt beside you and reached out, you flinched from his touch.

“You wanna know what I want for Christmas?” He asked, reaching out for you again, resting a hand on your thigh. This time you didn’t pull away.

You laughed into your hands though it came out more of a sob, “Really Javier? Can you just leave me to wallow in my embarrassment, I was staring at you because I like you,” as you said those words it felt like a weight was lifted. Regardless of how it went maybe it was best to be honest, as long as you didn’t have to watch his expression as you spoke.

Javier didn’t say a word as you continued, “I really like you Javier, you’re perfect to me. You’re hot, you’re kind and when you play guitar it just melts me…” You could hear your heartbeat violently against your chest, your blood rushing in your ears, the silence completely overwhelming.

Javier’s grip tightened, his other hand went to your hands and gently pulled them away from your face, revealing a few tears. You felt like a scared mouse, hunter about to pounce on you. But all you found in Javier’s eyes was warmth and understanding. From kneeling down for a while you felt your legs go weak, sensing you were uncomfortable Javier pulled you to your feet and you stumbled forward into his arms.

He wrapped himself round you, your head against his chest and realised his heart was beating just as fast as yours.

“You told me what was on your mind,” he spoke, “Don’t you at least want to know what I wanted for Christmas.”

You stepped back and looked up at him, “Sure.”

One hand reached for your cheek and stroked your skin, the other tilted your chin upwards, holding you so gently, a tenderness never shown to you before. “My Christmas wish was to kiss you under the mistletoe.”

You stayed silent, not quite believing what you were hearing. So he liked you too, you stayed frozen, afraid it was a joke. “You want to make my wish come true?” Javier reached for your hand.

“Yes,” Your reply was breathy and barely audible, “But…Can we…here first? Not in front of them.”

Javier nodded, “Are you ready?” He asked as he brushed some hair from your face.

You found yourself laughing, “We’re building it up too much, I can’t.”

“Is the moment gone?”

“A little,” you said sheepishly, “But…”

You didn’t need to say anything else, Javier pulled you back into his arms and dove in for your first kiss.

The tenderness was something you’d dreamt of, the taste of his lips, the way they would feel against your own. The way he moaned softly into your mouth and whispered your name when you broke to take a breath. The way his fingers massaged your scalp, graced your neck with fingertips. His tongue slipping between your lips, eliciting a small moan from you.

One of your hands sat on his sharp hip, the other graced his cheek, afraid to touch his scar without permission so instead your hand went back to brush his silky hair behind his ear, your hand resting on the side of his head so your fingertips could bathe in all parts of him.

The thoughts rushing through your head were so mixed, so fast it was hard to focus on one feeling. So in the end you decided it was best not to think at all, instead revelling in his taste, his touch…the way your tongues danced, the way he held you at long last.

When Javier broke the kiss he kept his face close to yours, nose pressed to you and both of you closed your eyes, bending forward so your foreheads touched.

When you opened your eyes Javier’s were still closed, a small smile played on your lips as you saw just how content and at peace he was. Who knew that a man who could be so deadly with a knife, deadly with his hands…such a famous assassin, could be so gentle and loving?

Javier’s eyes opened and he returned the smile, “So, how was it?”

“Better than perfect,” you said dreamily. Just then you felt something cold on your cheek, you both looked up to see snow falling from the sky, “At last, I thought it would never come.”

“The snow or the kiss?” He asked.

You chuckled, “Both.”

Javier hummed in reply and placed another quick kiss to your lips, you couldn’t help but hold him for a few seconds to extend the kiss, the taste of smoke and peaches lingering on your lips afterwards.

*******************************************************************************

Later that evening Javier was sat playing guitar, singing Silent Night as his fingers softly strummed the strings. You were always transfixed by his playing but tonight even more so, you no longer had the need to dream of what it would be like to kiss him, you knew and now you wondered what other things his fingers and tongue were capable of.

Just as you were about to get carried away with your thoughts the singing stopped, a round of applause and cheering broke out. Charles clapped you on the back and you smiled back at him. The snow was still falling, a soft blanket glittering around you from the light of the fire, Jack was throwing snowballs at Arthur. Normally you’d have joined in, but now there was somewhere else you needed to be.

Javier got up from his seat, behaving nonchalantly as he walked in the direction of the mistletoe, making eye contact with you as he went. Taking his cue you stood and followed him, as he reached the mistletoe he spun and then pulled you swiftly into his arms, kissing you deeply, his lips moving in tandem with yours, savouring every part of you. As before one of his hands was in your hair, the other wrapped round your waist so you were stood flush to one another. Both of your arms wrapped round his waist, holding him as close as you could.

You heard the shock coming from several members of camp, Micah sounding annoyed, Karen shouting, “Yeah, get it!”

You laughed as you kissed him and Javier laughed back, pressing his nose against yours and nuzzling side to side, “I could kiss you for hours.”

“We don’t have anywhere to be do we?”

You shook your head, “Good, then we’ve got hours to kiss.”

You placed your hands on either side of Javier’s face, his cheeks surprisingly soft and when you went to trace his scars he didn’t pull away, instead he pressed another soft and swift kiss to your lips, “Merry Christmas querida/querido.”

#Javier escuella #javier escuella x reader #javier x reader #Yuletide #Christmas #Mistletoe #my writing #festive cheese #fluff #kissing #happy holidays #Charles Smith #Festive #cw: smoking

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